#as in making alden bad parent as well okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thelavendernarwhal · 2 years

Text

Is This Technically Party Crashing? - WIP

Hey, remember when I said this story was rotting in my WIPs? Will it still kind of is, but I’m posting a little preview to maybe boost my motivation. As I’ve said before, creative burnout is very real at the moment, but that won’t stop me.

(And shoutout to @mynamisfab for inspiring me to get back to this idea. I have the story fully planned now :D)

---------------------------------

This was the kind of warmth Keefe could get used to. You could pile however many fluff blankets onto your bed as you want, but it would never beat the coziness of another person. Keefe had long since gotten over his pride when it came to being a little spoon, so many more mornings were spent with Dex’s arm lazily draped over his waist while he curled into an armadillo-esque ball. That heat was a reminder that Keefe wasn’t alone and he would never need to be again.

Sadly, if they didn’t get up soon, Ro and the triplets would mock the two of them endlessly for ‘their extra snuggle time in the morning’ and Keefe had a bit of a problem to discuss before that happened. Keefe gently turned over himself so he was facing Dex, still dead to the world as usual. He didn’t know if it was a Dizznee thing or if it was due to the younger trio’s loudness, but Dex slept like a rock on anesthetics. Part of Keefe did feel bad about needing to get him up; after what sounded like one hell of a Regent briefing, he conked out fast with his face smushed into his pillow with hair flung in all directions around his face that would form one hell of a bedhead the next morning. If he didn’t look to have had a bad day, Keefe would have pointed out how cute it was, but it was clear that Dex just wanted to sleep and not do anything else for the near future.

With no other options, Keefe started by nudging Dex’s shoulder to no success. Eh, not that he expected that to work. “Hey, Dex… It’s time to get up.” He quietly said, cupping his boyfriend’s face in his hands causing his features to scrunch a little.

“No thanks.”

Only he would wake up like that. “Sorry, but you don’t have a choice.”

“But, why?” Dex rolled so he could bring himself more upright. Not completely upright, but getting up was a slow process for the still tired, non-morning person.

“I need to talk to you about something and I am sure that you’d rather have me waking you up than one of the other people here.” After a few times of one of the Dex’s siblings busting into his room and an even more terrifying instance of Juline being the one to get them up, Keefe knew it was a convincing reason.

Although, Dex didn’t miss the first part of his statement. “You need to talk about something? Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just Number One Dad back at it again.” With a groan, he was fully up.

“What’d he do this time?” Dex asked, leaning against the headboard.

It was weird to know what a good dad was supposed to be like and then have a piece of crap waiting for you at home. Alden had always supported Keefe when he was little, giving him some amount of familial love and Kesler barely batted an eye at his new quote-on-quote son-in-law when Dex told him about their relationship, so when Cassius continued his school of parenting after everything they were put through, it was a bit jarring. They’d gotten to the point where they mostly avoided each other at home and for the most part, Keefe was fine with that, but old Pops decided that he had a deal to make.

“Well, he was a bit concerned that his one and only son hasn’t picked up a match list after being registered for a few years. Y'know, people talk and all that.” Keefe started.

Dex rolled his eyes. He didn’t bother to sign up for matchmaking in the first place and Keefe found himself really wishing he did the same. “That’s his problem? You made me worried there.”

“No need. He thought the best course of action was to sit me down for one of our many father-son heart to hearts and he gave me a little choice.” Dex looked over for him to go on. “He said that I could move out.”

“That’s great! But there’s a catch, right?”

He knows Keefe too well, really. “He’d only do that if I picked up a list and held a Winnowing’s Gala.”

“There we go.” Dex sighed, but wasn’t phased.

“Any ideas?”

“Objectively, it could be worse.”

Keefe smiled fondly. “At least, one of us is objective here.”

“Please, everyone knows you’re the evil master-mind.” The ginger noted, sweeping his hair away from his eyes, that was, in fact, sticking up in all directions. “On paper, it’s one night of awkwardness and you’re off the hook.”

“Then riding off into the sunset with puppies and rainbows and kittens.” Keefe added.

“You know what I mean.”

“I know. I just also know how it’ll look to everyone else. You might as well put up a sign saying ‘Keefe Sencen; hot on the market and definitely is on board with this plan.’ We both know Cassius will frame it that way.”

Once he was done, Keefe slunked into a combination of his pillow and Dex’s side. As much as he wanted to convince himself that it’d only be one instance of suffering and then it’s over, it wasn’t that simple. Holding this party would be telling the world that the blond was looking for a partner when that couldn’t be farther from the truth and, if Keefe had learned anything in his life, many people wouldn’t be warded off with a ‘no thanks’. What he really wanted to do was put all of this junk to rest by telling anyone he was perfectly happy with the love of his life and no one was going to change that. The pair’s friends were well aware of their relationship to the point that they apparently had a running bet on when they would get together, so they wouldn’t have to worry about those guys and anyone else who wouldn’t accept them wasn’t someone Keefe wanted in his life anyways. The only problem was that Cassius would go nuclear if his kid was out publicly because “it’s not just his reputation on the line”.

Seeing his mental spiral, Dex started to get both of them out of bed. “But, after that, you don’t need to play along. What’s he going to do, look extra disappointed in his meetings?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this actually important assignment because my son is such a sad sack.” Keefe imitated Cassius’ voice, making it sound as whiny as he could. But, before he could continue his impersonation, a loud knock came from outside their door signaling that their privacy would soon come to an end if they didn’t hurry up soon.

#wip #koltc #keefex #kotlc fanfic #kotlc dex #kotlc keefe #dex dizznee #keefe sencen

13 notes · View notes

bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

Note

It's been a while since anyone has died. I feel like Shannon will kill someone off in the next few books. If so, who do you think it will be?

I've talked about this a little before, which you can find linked here, but in case you don't want to read that I'll do a quick summary. I think Sandor is likely to die by the end of the series, and Shannon even said once that she'd planned to kill him in every book since he's been introduced. So that being said there have definitely been Sandor Death Plans, but whether or not she's still planning to kill him in uncertain. But I think it will happen, which may be the kind of motivation Sophie needs to really loose herself and unleash herself on the Neverseen. it would definitely be interesting!!

Given the rate of death in the series, I don't know if there's time for more than one in the final two books, but then again we're building up to the ending of the series so the consistency is bound to become less reliable as things ramp up. In that case, I'd guess...maybe one more death of Sophie's allies and one or two of her enemies? I don't think the ally death would be one of the main 12 in her friend group, just because Shannon doesn't seem like the type to write that. She seems more like a "everyone is going to make it through somehow. I don't know how, but they're going to be okay" kind of writer. Which isn't a bad thing!! It's only an observation and assumption that we can rule those 12 out.

Who it would be would be vague speculation on my part though. If Sandor does die, then I'd rule out any of the bodyguards so it doesn't feel repetitive. I'd probably rule out Flori because we've already gone through Calla's death. Maybe Mr. Forkle could be ruled out because his brother is already dead, but then again it could be used as both brothers dying and finally being together again. I feel like all the parents fall under the "everyone is going to make it through somehow" thing or the "it's already been done" like how Alden already has a wanderling. Same with the Council, as Kenric already got roasted.

This is a random guess, but maybe a member of the Collective? Yes, Forkle 1 already died, but it didn't actually impact the collective the same way. So if it were to be one of them, I'd guess Tiergan because he's had the most impact on Sophie's life and would have the most affect on her after death. He's been her mentor for long enough and gotten to know her well enough that it would hurt a lot more than someone like Wraith or Blur.

and then there's the matter of who in the Neverseen would die, as for something like the finale of the series there would have to be more than just losses on Sophie's side for it to stay balanced.

I don't think Fintan will die, but he's the only one I'm really certain of. Oh and Alvar will probably die, but that was kinda assumed since Sophie found him all weak and not looking too hot. I wonder if Lady Gisela will die, as she's been a key player and caused a lot of hurt and it would be dramatic story-wise. I don't think Vespera will, but she'd have to be dealt with somehow.

There's many possibilities and so little time left in the books, so it's hard to say exactly what will happen! I'm kinda basing this on what I would do if I were writing the story and also the patterns Shannon's just been following, but that's just my interpretation. Shannon might come around and shock me and finally kill Sophie in a self-sacrificial final moment. Though that would be devastating for everyone and it doesn't seem in line with everything else that's happened. I do think a few of Sophie's friends will acquire more scars, but I don't think they'll die.

But who knows!!

#the books don't span years in the elven world #so there's really not a lot of time left #so we'll have to see how it plays out #I have a few theories I've shared here and there #but Shannon frequently introduces new things to throw us off #but then again we're nearing the end so she can't do that as much if at all #instead she's circling back to previous things #like stellarlune #and probably criterion soon #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #bluecookiesarebetter #tw death

34 notes · View notes

gay-otlc · 3 years

Text

Little Miss Perfect

Summary: Straight hair, straight A's, straight forward, straight girl

Straight hair is most beautiful. Straight A's are most successful. Straight forward is fastest. Straight girls are the most perfect. And if straight girls are the most perfect, and Biana is the most perfect, ae has to be straight. Ae doesn't get a choice.

Little miss perfect, that's me

Content warnings: Internalized homophobia, homophobia in general, cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of eating disorders, lmk if I should add more.

Word count: 3143

(Read on AO3)

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight path, I don't cut corners

Biana Amberly Vacker is beautiful, and smart, but that's hardly a surprise. Even before ae was born, everyone knew ae would be beautiful, and smart. Ae's a Vacker, after all. Ae wakes up early to straighten aer hair and stays up late to study, so ae's tired all the time, but ae's gorgeous and ae's at the top of aer class, so does it really matter?

Ae takes life one day at a time, one step after another, because if ae slows down or turns around, everything ae's running away from might catch up with aer.

So ae doesn't do that. Biana keeps following the straight path and hopes the road ahead of aer doesn't wind too much. Make sure every step leads aer to perfection.

I make a point to be on time Head of the student council

Not only that, but Biana's on time for everything. Aer parents make sure of that, but ae probably would be even without their help- Biana likes to plan ahead. Or really, ae doesn't know for sure whether ae likes it, or if it makes ae feel trapped. But at least it saves aer the confusion and terror of an uncertain life. Whatever the reason, ae makes little notes in aer planner for all aer appointments.

And bigger notes in aer journal for the rest of aer life.

Make it through Foxfire.

Manifest an ability.

Get a respectable job.

Marry a respectable boy.

Have children.

Step four... doesn't seem so great, by which ae means downright nauseating, but that doesn't matter. What ae wants doesn't matter. And anyway, this will probably be what ae wants in the long run. Ae's just not old enough for boys yet. Plenty of time for that in the future.

Ae'll be on time for every step of aer perfect fucking life.

I don't black out at parties I jam to Paul McCartney

Biana doesn't break rules- mostly because ae's afraid of how aer father would punish aer. Either way, ae's never snuck out at night, never spent time with the classmates he said were beneath aer, never wore something he said showed too much skin, never ate more than ae was allowed to. Every single one of his rules, ae followed.

If that meant not going to Marella Redek's party because her mother was too "strange," even though everyone else was talking about how fun it would be, ae wouldn't go. Ae would just miss out. Fun.

Ae heard that at the parties, they played human music. What would that even sound like? Fitz knew- he got to go to the human world all the time, but Biana didn't. Still, after incessant begging, aer dad let aer listen to one song, by a human named Paul McCartney. It wasn't bad. Quite good, in comparison to elvin music. Still... ae wished ae could listen to more.

Of course, ae wouldn't. That would be disobeying aer dad. And ae didn't do that. She always had to be the perfect daughtaer.

If you ask me how I'm doing I'll say... Well, hmm

Lying wasn't good, of course. Ae shouldn't lie to people who asked how ae was doing.

But ae couldn't admit to being anything less than perfect.

So ae'd just mumble.

Perfect until proven otherwise.

I was adopted when I was two My parents spoiled me rotten

Okay, so Biana isn't actually adopted- but for years, ae thought ae had been. Always out of place in the perfect Vacker family, because everything comes so effortlessly to them, they're exactly what elvin society wants without any struggle at all. And ae... wasn't like that. Too loud, too argumentative, not quite ladylike enough. Not smart enough, ae needed to work harder. Not pretty enough.

Not interested in the right people.

But when ae learned to stay quiet, keep aer head down, and follow all the damn rules, aer parents seemed to like aer better. Well, Alden did. Della always appreciated aer, however quietly, slipping aer little pieces of mallowmelt behind Alden's back even when he told aer that ae had to be thinner. Whispering compliments into aer ears after Alden scolded aer so much his voice was hoarse from screaming and aers was hoarse from crying.

And when Alden was proud of aer, she would get everything ae wanted. All the pretty dresses. All the sparkles and sketchbooks and sewing kits. Trips to Atlantis or Eternalia. Anything ae wanted, to reward her for being Little Miss Perfect.

Often I ask myself, "What did I do?" To get as far as I've gotten

Some of the time- who the hell is ae kidding, it's most, if not all, of the time- Biana feels like... ae doesn't deserve aer last name, or aer popularity, or any of aer privileges in life. Mentors at Foxfire practically revere aer and aer peers bend over backwards to be liked by aer.

Ae is so fucking sick of it.

Why aer? Ae wants to scream the question at every single person who treats aer differently. Why is ae the one to get that treatment? Ae had never done anything important in aer whole fucking life, ae didn't do anything, and all this praise should go to someone far more perfect than aer.

A pretty girl walks by my locker My heart gives a flutter

Biana is, unfortunately, very well known at Foxfire, and ae thought ae knew everyone else too. But ae's never seen this girl before, because ae would know if they had. It would be impossible for past Biana to have seen this girl and not remember her.

She has dark skin, even darker than Biana's, and long dreadlocks pulled into a knot and streaked with blue. Biana thought ae was used to the beauty of elvin girls- they were all quite pretty- but this girl, holy shit, ae was not prepared to see this girl. Her flat nose and full pink lips and turquoise eyes are all so beautiful. Biana's heart pounds and flutters around her chest like it wants to fly out and meet this girl, and aer breath catches.

Maruca Chebota, as ae later learns, is perfection.

But I don't dare utter a word 'Cause that would be absurd behaviour For little miss perfect

The pretty girl continues walking, seemingly unaware that she's thrown Biana's world wobbling out of orbit. Biana wants to call out to her, to yell, to make sure she doesn't walk away and make it so that amazing high, those butterflies and awe and something ae can't even describe, seems almost like it never happened.

But there are a lot of people in the hallways, and they're already staring at aer far more intensely than what ae would describe as comfortable, ready to judge each and every thing she does. Running to catch up with a girl because she's pretty? Not normal. Not normal for any elf, but especially not aer.

Biana silently watches her turn around a corner into a different hallway and out of aer line of sight, wishing ae could have been a little less perfect. Just for one second.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na No, I can't risk falling off my throne

Dear Maruca,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you lately. I'm sorry I can't talk to you. You haven't done anything wrong, I promise.

It's just... you're dangerous. To my heart, my... my reputation. My throne.

That's not quite true. You're not dangerous to most people. You're just dangerous to me. Maybe you're fine, and I'm just too fragile. Too imperfect.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love is something I don't even know

Dear Maruca,

What if we did love each other? Bravely. Boldly. Unapologetically.

What if I pretended it wouldn't topple me off my throne; or pretended I didn't care?

No. That's stupid. I shouldn't sacrifice all that for love.

This isn't even love, anyway. I don't know what love is, but you aren't it.

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight girl

Straight hair is most beautiful.

Straight A's are most successful.

Straight forward is fastest.

Straight girls are the most perfect.

Little miss perfect That's me

And if straight girls are the most perfect, and Biana is the most perfect, ae has to be straight.

Ae doesn't get a choice.

One night my friend stayed over We laughed, and drank and ordered

And straight girls would like Maruca, sure, but not in the way Biana does. Not in that all consuming, heart wrenching, feels like ae's floating and falling and spiraling all at once way. Just in a... a friend way. A normal way. Because the two of them would make perfect friends, and anything other than that would end in fiery disaster.

So Biana makes friends with Maruca. Friends. They talk about their Universe class, and play splotching together in PE (Maruca wins; Biana gets distracted by her braids), and horribly bake mallowmelt together. It burns.

Maruca is... fun. It's fun to be friends with Maruca. Ae invites her over to Everglen for a sleepover- Della is overjoyed that Biana is finally making friends- and they have a fun time. Playing games and talking about useless shit and going to go bother Fitz and his friend Keefe.

It doesn't need to be anything different, Biana tells aerself, again and again. It's perfect like this. It doesn't need to change.

Something about her drew me in What? It's totally platonic

Biana can't stop staring at Maruca.

She feels like gravity, a star, and ae feels like a planet. They work perfectly together, orbiting around and around and around. If Maruca smiles, Biana's mind races to solve the mystery of how exactly that smile would taste on aer lips. It tastes good, ae thinks, though that's a stupid thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Maruca asks. "You have this goofy smile on your face, and you didn't hear the story I just told."

Biana turns bright red. Of course, ae can't say I was thinking about your lips on mine, because that would sound... weird. Ae has to keep it platonic, because they'll never be anything other than platonic, and it's not like ae wants that either. Ae swallows, and finally says "You. I'm really glad we're friends."

Platonic friends. Perfect, platonic friends.

That night was so exciting Her smirks were so enticing

"Yeah, I'm an awesome friend," Maruca says, flicking one of her intricate braids. Biana's eyes linger on it a little too long.

Ae clears aer throat and quickly deflects the conversation, still blushing. "You are. Do you want to go downstairs? It smells like something's baking."

"I would be honored to go eat some of your mom's amazing desserts, m'laedy," says Maruca, extending a hand with mock formality. Her gorgeous lips are pulled into a smirk. Biana's breath catches; ae wants to freeze this mental image for eternity. Cautiously, ae takes Maruca's hand in aers.

Skin touching. Holding hands.

It's stupid, it's a cliche, but it does feel like sparks shoot across aer skin as Maruca wraps her fingers in Biana's and starts walking downstairs. Aer stomach flips around excitedly.

Then ae crashes and burns. They are friends. Both girls. Friends don't get this excited about holding other friends' hands. Biana rips aer hand away and stuffs it in aer pocket. Maruca looks a bit offended, but Biana clenches aer jaw and looks down.

It hurts, but ae has to be perfect. No exceptions.

Hours speed by like seconds Then, what happens is iconic

Once they get over the awkwardness of that moment, they slip right back into the fun they were having before. Della's ripplefluffs disappear quickly, and the two of them go back into Biana's room to keep talking. Biana shows Maruca aer sketches- ae hasn't really shown them to anyone before, Alden thinks a Vacker should have a more noble profession than designing fashion- and Maruca tells Biana that ae should dye aer hair.

Alden is going to kill aer, but for once, ae isn't thinking of that. Della would probably say yes, but the two of them decide it would be more fun to sneak out, so they light leap to Slurps And Burps as quietly as they can, in silent giggles the whole time. Maruca decides to re-dye the blue streaks in her hair, and Biana opts for violet. They go back to Biana's room and laugh more. Biana wildly thinks this is the most fun ae's ever had.

It's perfect, even if ae isn't.

She takes a sip, I bite my lip She tells a joke, I nearly choke

Aer stomach is sore from laughing, and ae still can't stop looking at Maruca. She's so pretty, something ae could stare at forever if ae had the chance. The longer ae looks, the more ae notices little details, like the way her braids fall against her shoulders, and how she has barely visible freckles splattered across her nose, and how her hand brushes against Biana's every so often. It's warm, and smooth, and perfect.

Maruca is a masterpiece of a person.

Currently, Biana's fascination lies in how her lips curl around the straw of her lushberry juice. It’s disgusting and wrong and so thrilling as Biana imagines kissing those lips.

No. Stop thinking about that, Biana commands aerself, biting aer own lip to draw aer attention away.

"Biana? Bi? You listening?"

Ae turns red. "Yeah, sorry!"

"Alright, so I was reading about cowboys, except I read it as cowgoys because it was really late, which implies the existence of Jewish cows. So then the thought 'Bar Moo-tzvah' came into my head and I can't stop thinking about it."

Biana snorts; the joke is funny enough on its own, but the cute little smile on Maruca's face and the way her eyes light up nearly make aer choke.

“Shut the fuck up, brain, let me be the perfect Vacker,” ae muters, too quietly for Maruca to hear.

She braids my hair, I sit there Blacking out for the first time

Maruca says Biana's newly violet hair looks beautiful- ae needs to fake a coughing fit to keep from squealing- and asks to braid it. Biana nods, and lets aerself get lost in the feeling of fingers weaving through aer hair and brushing against aer head.

Aer eyes close- ae doesn't know when, but the room around aer disappears and all ae can feel is fingers and this all encompassing, overwhelming love ae seems to be drowning in, blacking out everything else.

Next thing I know, I lose control I finally kiss her but oh no

Without making any conscious decision, Biana spins around, cups Maruca's face, and gently presses aer lips against hers. Their flat noses touch, eyelashes flutter against each other's cheeks, lips kissing. Kissing. It's fast, and sweet, and wonderful. Biana feels aer world aligning perfectly, like this is the way everything was meant to be, and there are fireworks shooting across aer skies.

Biana smiles against Maruca's lips.

I see a face in my window Then my brain starts to go

Everything happens at once.

Maruca yelps and pushes aer back. The door swings open, revealing a shocked Fitz. Fireworks vanish, as quickly as they came.

Biana's world shatters.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na No, you can't risk falling off your throne

Dear Maruca,

That kiss was amazing.

But it's too risky to do again.

I'm sorry.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love is something you don't even know

Dear Maruca,

What do I know about kissing? It's not like I have anything to compare it too, besides that one time I kissed Keefe on the cheek because I thought I was supposed to. No, because I wanted to. Because I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him and I didn't want to kiss you.

I don't know what kissing is supposed to feel like. Or what love is supposed to feel like.

It'll be better with a boy. It has to be better with a boy.

I'll know love eventually, and it won't be with you.

You shouldn't love me either.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na You can't risk falling off your throne

Dear Maruca,

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you-

No.

I hate myself.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love You don't even know

Dear Maruca,

Or maybe I love you.

I don't know.

I probably don't.

Because I can't love another girl, right? I have to be misunderstanding what love means if I think I can love a girl.

I don't know love. But it can't be you.

Rewind, induce amnesia Deny the truth, that's easier

Fitz tells her what to do- pretend like it never happened. That's what Alden told him when he kissed Keefe. Biana snorts humorlessly at that; two fucked up Vacker children. But ae follows his advice. Forget about it. Pretend it never happened. Never address it with Maruca; or speak to her again, really. Pretend, pretend, pretend.

Ae's been pretending aer whole life.

Life continues on, and ae pretends to be okay. Maruca makes friends with Stina, and Biana makes friends with the new girl. Sophie Foster. Sophie is nice enough, but she's not Maruca. She can't replace Maruca. No one can fucking replace Maruca, and no one should have to- ae just fucked up aer only chance with someone that wonderful. But ae pretends Sophie is enough, pretends ae's not heartbroken.

Pretends, pretends, pretends.

Pretends to be perfect.

You're just confused, believe her When she says there's nothing there

Biana talks to Maruca once.

They both apologize in the same breath.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened-"

"That was weird, I'm sorry-"

"I don't like you, I was just confused."

"So was I, kissing girls was just something I thought I'd try, a bit of a phase."

"No, totally, it's not like I really like girls or anything."

"Nah, that'd be weird."

They never speak again. There's nothing between them. Biana tries to believe what Maruca told aer. Ae doesn't.

“You're just confused,” ae repeats to aerself. “You're still perfect.”

It's never worth it When you're little miss perfect

Dear Maruca,

Maybe someone else can love you. Someone who doesn't have to be little miss perfect.

#shai's writing #shai types things #kotlc #biana vacker #bianuca #fuck alden #little miss perfect

76 notes · View notes

theunmappedstar · 3 years

Text

TS!Sophie Headcanons

Sophie has Tourette syndrome, meaning she makes noises and movements which she can’t control because of a neurological condition in the brain. These repetitive phrases or movements are called “tics”.

She has a variety of tics, both vocal and physical.

One of her vocal tics at a young age was "suldreen" and she could never figure out why she kept repeating it. Her parents found it odd, too, because they’d never uttered “suldreen” around her - she'd just been blabbering it since birth. Her dad calls her “Soybean” because of it (and Sophie despises that nickname).

Sophie has a few tics that are in English, from the time she spent in a human environment.

For example: Sophie has a tic that's an obscure line from Sherlock because her human mom and dad used to watch the show frequently and they loved it, so it’s emblazoned in her mind. In the first episode, Sherlock tries to convince a police officer that he's in shock because he's got a blanket, so he can't answer questions in an interrogation. So, Sophie ticcing, "I’m in shock! I’ve got a blanket!" over and over again. (She does an impersonation of his british accent and everything).

Sophie with a cursing tic, but it's in English so no one knows what she's saying and by god is she glad.

OR, alternatively, once she manifests as a polyglot, it's a curse in trollish or ogre or a different language and only one of her bodyguards gets it and they're thrown off guard by it.

She's being interrogated by the Council during a Tribunal or something of the sort, and out of nowhere she yells, "FUCK" and immediately turns red with embarrassment, but the Council is just confused as hell and tries to move forward-

Sophie develops a “no reason to worry!” tic. Alden thinks it’s precious and flattering. Sophie finds it anything but. (Especially since her brain makes it a point to impersonate his heavy accent when she does it).

After a long time with Silveny, she developed a tic where she just shouts Keefe's name. Keefe thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world, and makes it a point to respond even if he knows she’s just ticcing.

“Yes, Miss F?”

“Shut up, you know I’m not talking to you.”

Sophie getting a vocal tic of a food.. and it's super random, like, "ripplepuff". And she keeps ticcing and she doesn't know why she even developed that because ripplepuffs aren't that amazing to her - it's not like they're her favourites or anything, but her brain just decided "ooh, new tic!".

Fitz hears her repeating it and one day brings her a little tin and says he has a surprise.. and when she opens it she starts giggling and her brain takes hold and she tics again and again and they're both smiley and giggly-

She ends up ticcing so much from the excitement that she reacts with physical tics and smashes them in with her hands or chucks them across the room.

Speaking of physical tics: a common physical tic that Sophie has always had is facial grimacing. She scrunches up her entire face and her eyes close tight and her shoulders temporarily lift before she’s released and she returns to relaxed position.

Keefe (lovingly) calls it her Scrunchy Face.

(It was originally “Grumpy Face” but then Keefe realized that might not make her feel too good and he wants her to know he’s not making fun of her for doing something completely normal. He just finds it cute!)

Sophie’s most common response to stress is plucking at her eyelashes. And Sophie is stressed a lot, so she tends to repeat the action. She does it so often that one day her brain is like, "haha!! new tic!!”. Not only that, but it spreads to her eyebrows and soon she’s plucking and prodding and ugh, she’s so frustrated because her eyebrows are uneven. (She has to take elixirs to make the hair grow back faster).

When she starts wearing gloves after manifesting as an Enhancer, it’s a texture she has to get used to, so she develops a tic where she clenches her fists super hard.

That one can really hurt at times because her hand won’t unclench and her nails dig into her palm-

Sophie getting tics when she’s flustered... Yeah, she tics super hard around Keefe and Fitz. She hopes nobody notices.

Sophie has a tic that’s her scrunching up her nose and squeezing her eyes shut and making a tiny sound... honestly sounds a little bit like she’s trying to fake a sneeze. Her shoulders also shrug when she does this.

Sophie ticcing when she meets the alicorn babies for the first time because she’s so happy they’re alive and well. And wow, they’re so pretty and cute. Her tics are all coming out at once though and she’s shrugging and scrunching her face and squeezing her eyes closed and her head jolts to the side every now and then and she’s shivering and she keeps yelling different vocal tics that have nothing to do with the situation.

Sophie getting a tic that’s her making popping sounds with her mouth.

Or blowing raspberries.

Spoiler alert: this one does not come in handy when she’s using a straw. There have been quite a few times where she’s ticced and blown into the straw, so her drink violently bubbles and splashes over. (It’s easier for her to leave her cup on the table and drink through a straw, though, as opposed to picking it up and risking throwing it on the ground).

Sophie getting tics in the middle of conversation and she gets embarrassed because they keep interrupting her, which makes her reach the conclusion a bit slower. (Obviously nobody minds, however).

All this being said, tourettes is not something that’s always light and happy - it’s not constantly a cute, smiley thing where she simply makes funny sounds or funny movements. It affects her life and can make her miserable.

One of her tics is holding her breath. This makes for obvious breathing difficulties. She sucks in her breath and won’t exhale for extended periods of time and she can't do anything to make it stop, which makes her panic-y (and that doesn’t help the situation anymore). She likes someone to be there to work her through it.

Most of the time it’s Grady and Edaline, but if they’re not home and it happens, her bodyguards are always willing to help lay her down on her back and hold her hands as she goes through it. And we all know the rest of her friends are also extremely willing to help!

Just think about Fitz and Keefe on either side of her, holding her hands. Fitz is transmitting to her, assuring her she’s fine and she’ll be through it soon enough... Keefe monitoring her emotional state sending her blue breezes in hopes to help keep her calm...

Sophie getting frustrated because she gets very emotional when the adults or authoritative figures in her life won't listen to her/don't trust her and she tries to speak to them, but they keep brushing her off and she keeps ticcing as she's trying to talk because she's getting so emotional and her tics keep getting more intense and frequent and she's trying her best to keep her cool and keep pushing through and trying not to cry because she doesn't want them to see her like some kid that can't control herself (even though that's stupid because you can't control tics, but she still feels self conscious about the way she's seen).

Sophie trying to bake with her parents and accidentally getting batter everywhere because she couldn't keep from ticcing. She feels really bad because half of it is on the floor for them to clean up and they had to take some utensils out of her reach, but Edaline and Grady don't mind; they're just happy to spend time with her. (Sophie still feels bad).

Sophie getting really nervous before going to sleep because the lights are out and she generally just has a hard time sleeping and feeling safe at night so her anxiety starts to rev up which makes her tics go haywire and she's ticcing so much that it's hard to settle down so she hails Dex or transmits to Fitz-

Sophie also has a tic where she hits herself or the things around her, so she gets a lot of bruises from that. She also destroys a lot of things with it, which makes her sad.

For example: Sophie accidentally ticcing and hitting her friends and she feels so horrible and keeps apologizing because she could just hear the echo of the slap, but they hold onto her hands and promise that it's okay, they know she didn't mean to.

Sophie being told to be quiet and sit still in detention, but she can't and the mentor doesn't know and snaps at her and Keefe stands up for her like, "Dude, she can't stay quiet, let her breathe.”

It would make it so much harder to walk around if her tics got intense because she can’t control them and sometimes the movements are jarring and throw her off-balance. That’s why she’s labeled “clumsy” by most people - and she hates it.

Sophie’s PTSD, Anxiety, and Tourettes generally like to work hand in hand. Say Sophie gets very anxious and emotional at the sight, feel, or thought of fire. Since she's so emotional from the trigger, she’ll tic more, and the high-intensity moment might trigger a tic attack.

These can last from a range of minutes to hours.

Her tic attacks can not only include intense bursts of ticcing, many times without pause in between, but they can also include muscle tension and changing in breathing. Her joints usually stiffen and burn, and her breathing can either pick up speed or go drop to a slower, concerning rate. It’s a very uncomfortable place for Sophie to be stuck in.

Sophie panicking after a Neverseen encounter and she has a tic attack.

Elwin just... holds her. He tries to keep her from hitting herself too much or bringing any more bodily harm.

Sophie ticcing while she's abducted and restrained in the first book, but because she's restrained and not able to really move, it makes her joints all achy and stiff and it burns and her interrogators get more and more aggressive in their handling of her because she isn’t answering (she’s ticcing so much that it’s difficult) and she won't sit still-

Sophie trying her hardest when Mr. Forkle picks her and Dex up to not tic and hold on to Dex so that Mr. Forkle doesn't set him down.

Sophie getting a really intense tic attack when she's forced to keep that circlet on her in Everblaze. She can't stop ticcing and it's hurting her head and she's sobbing and begging for a sedative because she doesn't want to be awake.

Sophie having to be lulled into sleep by Silveny throughout most of her recovery in Flashback, because if she tics too much, she sets back all the progress she’s made on healing her arm.

(UNLOCKED SPOILERS) Amidst the struggle, however, there is triumph, too. The first time she doesn't trigger a tic attack at the feeling and sight of fire is during Unlocked when she sets the warehouse on fire. Even though everyone is harsh with her about it afterwards, Sandor makes it a point to mention to the adults that he is very proud of her, in a way, because he didn't even have to carry her out of there like he usually does when she's around fire and is triggered - she walked out of there on her own.

#i do not have personal experience with this syndrome as i do not have it so if i portrayed anything offensively please tell me!#TS!sophie #sophie foster #kotlc #kotlc headcanons #masterlist #keeper of the lost cities

146 notes · View notes

walkerwords · 3 years

Text

“The Savior Sessions” Part 17 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Following the fallout of their argument, the reader is still trying to deal with their thoughts about Negan. Meanwhile, Daryl, Connie, Lydia, and Henry arrive at Alexandria. With everything going on and the fair only a day away, there are decisions to be made.

Word Count: 4372

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “First” by Cold War Kids

Note: Another filler before our big part which is up next...I am putting all the fair stuff in one part and I MEAN EVERYTHING. Part 19 will be the blizzard so Part 18 is going to be A LOT. *ALL ASL IN ITALICS*

---------

Something felt different when you woke up.

Your mother always used to say that people could feel it in the air when something was to come. You never put much stock in her ramblings, but that particular quote was sticking in your mind as you sat up in your bed.

Sunlight was streaming in through the window and you could hear the faint sounds of Alexandrians starting their days. The nightmares had been worse than usual during the night before and after waking up for the second time, you had to nearly restrain yourself from venturing out of your house and towards another.

The fact that Negan was the first person you thought of when fear entered your body made you feel even more confused. You were still furious with him, that much was clearly evident, but he was still there in the back of your mind. He was in your dreams, your everyday thoughts, and while you should have been focusing on Alpha and Daryl’s rescue plan, Negan was all you could think about.

After getting ready for the day, you strapped on Paul’s sword and headed from your home and towards the meeting hall. It still felt odd to consider the sword yours even though Aaron had given it to you personally. You began to wonder if imposter syndrome extended towards melee weapons.

Walking down the main road, you saw Judith with her brother heading towards the makeshift graveyard. You knew where she was going and you also knew that Judith loved to tell stories she heard from her mom about Carl. While Judith didn’t have many memories of her big brother, she could still remember what it felt like to be carried by him and how he cared for her. Carl had been there since the beginning to look after her and now it was Judith’s turn to do so for RJ.

Your gaze lingered on them for a bit before your eyes caught a commotion at the main gate. You could see Michonne standing on the watch post, looking down. With a furrowed brow, you began to walk forward when a movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention.

Stopping in front of the Grimes’ house, you looked to see Negan leaning against the bars of his window. He looked at you with those same beautiful hazel eyes and determined set of his jaw. You stared back, remembering the last conversation you had had with the man. Negan had nearly begged you for forgiveness and you weren’t sure if you were actually willing to give it. At least, not yet. He went to say something when the gate slid open up ahead. Looking back, you were stunned at what you saw.

Daryl, Lydia, Connie, and to your ultimate surprise, Henry, were walking towards you. Dog trotted in front of his master, his tail up as he noticed you. When they got closer, you finally saw the state that your friend was in.

“Daryl?” you asked, shocked to see blood, Living blood, on his face and clothes. “What the hell happened to you?” you asked as you left Negan behind and ran up to him.

“Kids need some food,” was all Daryl said. You then noticed that Henry was limping.

“They also need medical attention,” you said and then waved down Siddiq who was walking alongside Rosita. “Come on,” you said and then reached for Lydia who was shaking slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but you just shook your head.

“Not your fault, kid,” you said, brushing the hair from her face. “Let’s get you looked at.”

As Siddiq took a look at Henry and Lydia, Laura stood watch at Michonne’s request. You stood on the porch of the infirmary with Daryl, Michonne, and Connie. While your signing was still a bit rough, you could get by well enough for the time being. You had taught Deaf students when you were a teacher and you found that your knowledge of the language was slowly coming back to you.

“Are you hurt?” you asked Connie. She shook her head and then made the “D” letter with her right hand and dragged it over her eye. You then realized that was the Name Sign she had given to Daryl, most likely due to his scar. You thought it was fitting.

Connie was telling you that Daryl was hurt, but you knew that he wouldn’t even let you clean his wounds until he knew the kids were okay.

“Someone wanna tell me what happened?” you asked as you leaned against the side of the house, your ankles crossed.

“Beta happened,” Daryl said as he matched your position on the other side.

“Alpha’s man,” Connie signed and you translated for Michonne and Laura, who was listening in the doorway.

“So, it’s not just Alpha we have to worry about? Great,” you said with a deep sigh.

“Asshole is massive,” Daryl said. “Threw me around like I was nothin’ and didn’t hesitate at all to try and kill us. Lydia says he’s the best fighter they got.”

“Fantastic,” you groaned.

“He’s the one that captured Henry,” Daryl explained.

“Which brings me to my question,” Michonne said. “Why the hell was Carol’s son out there in the first place?”

“He went after her, didn’t he? After we traded her for Alden and Luke?” you asked and Daryl nodded.

“Takes after his damn mother,” Daryl muttered, but you could hear a bit of admiration in his tone. Which was how he usually sounded when he spoke about Carol.

“How’d you get her back?”

“Got into their camp,” Daryl said. “There’s a lot more of these assholes than we thought. We couldn’t see all of ‘em, but there are enough to make me nervous.”

“You being nervous, makes me nervous,” you said pushing off the wall.

“Where’s he now?” Michonne asked. “Beta?”

“Threw his giant ass down an elevator shaft,” Daryl said.

“So, he’s dead?” Daryl looked between you, Connie, and Michonne and you could see the fatigue weighing on him and also, the anger.

“For all our sakes,” he said. “He better be.”

------

Once the Doc had cleared both Lydia and Henry, you invited the teenagers as well as Connie and Daryl to stay in your house for the time being.

You knew that Daryl wanted to keep moving in case Alpha had sent out more scouts, but you also knew that they needed to take a breather, even if it was just until nightfall.

You could hear Connie sitting and playing with Dog outside while Daryl spoke with Henry. You knew how important Henry was to Carol and because of that, Daryl would do anything to protect the kid.

However, right now, he seemed to be taking on the role of disappointed uncle. He was using his “parent voice” as you liked to call it. He used to use it a lot with Carl and then when Judith would cause trouble years before. Beth once joked that he had become the father of the group. Daryl had just rolled his eyes, but you knew that meant a lot to him. It told him that all of you, even Rick, relied on him.

Lydia was sitting in the living room when you found her. Sitting next to her on the couch, you tried to see the resemblance between her and her mother. It was there slightly, but only in looks. You couldn’t see the hatred that you saw in Alpha. However, you did see a small bit of resilience and that only told you how much she had to adapt to live within the Dead.

“I’m sorry,” you began. Lydia looked at you in confusion. “I said a lot of horrible things to you when we had you locked up. I made assumptions and it was unfair.”

“I didn’t really give you much of a chance to trust me,” Lydia said, turning her attention back to her hands in her lap.

“Then I guess we both need fresh starts,” you said and then offered her your hand. “Hi, I’m (Y/N).” Lydia hesitantly took your hand and gave you a small smile.

“I’m Lydia,” she said and you smiled at her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Lydia.” When you dropped her hand, she glanced back towards where Daryl and Henry were.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Lydia said, talking about Jesus. “And because my mom took your other friends.”

“We got them back,” you reminded her. “I just wish we could have gotten them back without throwing you back to the wolves.”

“Yeah, then maybe Henry wouldn’t have gone after me and gotten hurt,” she said sadly.

“Maybe not, but Henry is as stubborn as his mother and as loyal as his father. Trust me when I say that he doesn’t need an excuse to make dumbass decisions.”

“What’s his mom like?” Lydia asked and you paused, trying to figure out how to put Carol into words.

“I’ve known his mom for a very long time. Actually since the beginning of all this,” you began. “Carol has been through a lot and she has lost a lot of people to get to the place she is right now. She has lost children, especially. Carol isn’t a person whom you need to be afraid of if you have good intentions.”

“And if you have bad intentions?” Lydia asked carefully.

“Let’s just say that when she wants to be, Carol can be even more terrifying than your mother. The difference is, is that Carol’s rage and her skills come from love and the need to protect her family.”

“You don’t think my mom is like that?”

“I don’t know your mother,” you admitted. “Though I have known people like her and if I had to guess what she values most, I would say it’s power and survival. Alpha seems to be the person who would sacrifice her young to protect the pack and that is why I don’t want you to go back to her.”

“You don’t even know me,” Lydia said. “You only know what you’ve seen.”

“ ‘To perceive is to suffer’,” you quoted with a smile. Lydia’s brow furrowed. “Aristotle said that,” you explained.

“Who?”

“I’ll tell you about them later. Point is,” you said, taking her hand, “I only saw what I wanted to see because I thought that suffering was better than trying to see your side of everything.”

“So, what does this mean?” Lydia asked.

“It means that I am not going to let anything happen to you. Especially at the hands of your mother.”

----------

Later that day, Michonne found you.

Daryl was inside with the others when she came walking towards your house. She gestured you down off the porch as she got closer. “What’s up?” you asked as you approached.

“We’re doin’ the fair,” Michonne explained.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Michonne nodded and then let out a heavy sigh.

“Henry said that The Kingdom is failing. They need this. Judith recently reminded me that we need each other and that we need to start thinking about the others again.”

“Wise girl,” you complimented and she smiled.

“Just like her dad,” Michonne said.

“Michonne, I want to help Kingdom, you know I do. I would do anything to help Carol and Ezekiel, but what if Alpha finds out that we have her kid? What then? Not to mention that Daryl attacked Beta and we don’t even know if he’s alive or not.”

“We’ll deal with it, just as we’ve dealt with everything else.”

“We’ve never seen anything like this before and you know it.”

“We can’t ignore them anymore, our friends,” she explained. “I know this is going to be rough, but we’ve won wars before.”

“So you do think this is going to end in a fight, then?”

“It always does, (Y/N),” Michonne said.

“I know you don’t trust her, Lydia, I mean,” you said.

“You’re right, I don’t,” she said.

“There is a lot of shit goin’ on right now, but we have to protect her just like we once protected Enid when she had nobody.”

“Enid isn’t the daughter of a killer,” Michonne reminded you.

“No, she’s not, but she could have gone down a different path. Just because she found Alexandria, that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t have turned for the worse. If it wasn’t for Maggie and… and Carl, who knows what would have happened to her.” Michonne was quiet for a moment.

“You’re saying that Henry is Lydia’s Carl?”

“I’m saying that she’s a scared kid who needs everyone in her corner to keep her safe and help her make the right decision.”

“And that’s gonna be you?”

“I’m gonna damn well try to be.”

---------

It was night when Daryl and the others were getting ready to leave.

You met them at the gate as Connie helped Henry balance on his staff, trying to get a rhythm going for their travels. You figured they were going to be headed to Kingdom, but you didn’t know where Daryl would be going after that. Lydia stood by, watching the duo with a smile.

When Daryl noticed you standing off to the side, he joined you. “We didn’t get a chance to talk. Not really,” he said.

“There will be other times,” you said with a bump to his shoulder.

“Judith talked to me,” he said.

“Yeah?” you asked, avoiding the look he was giving you.

“You should know that she hears a lot more than ya think.”

“Meaning she heard the argument Negan and I had,” you realized. Daryl grunted in agreement. “Just great.”

“She’s worried about ya, thinks you’re not gonna forgive him,” Daryl said.

“Judith should mind her own business,” you muttered.

“Are ya? Going to forgive him?”

“What would be the point? The situation is gonna still be the same. Negan is gonna be locked up and I’ll be out trying to fight another battle that we shouldn’t be in in the first place.”

“Self-pity don’t look good on ya,” Daryl said.

“That’s not—”

“Ya, it is,” he interrupted. “I already told ya my thoughts on you and him. I still stand by them, but ya gotta start usin’ your brain, Kid.” You smiled at the nickname. It was something he had called you when you first met, even though you were around the same age as Maggie.

“I thought the heart was supposed to make these kinds of decisions?”

“Nah, ya gotta use both. Don’t believe that poetic bullshit.”

“Are you sure you weren’t a motivational speaker before all this?” you joked.

“Not unless ya count me yellin’ at Merle to get his shit together when the son of a bitch was high and chasin’ birds through the streets.”

“I do,” you decided. Daryl snorted but stayed quiet. “You’re leavin’ with Lydia after you get Henry home, aren’t you?”

“It’s for the best,” he said.

“Is it?”

“People don’t trust her,” Daryl said.

“That’s not her fault.”

“No, it ain’t,” he said, “but I’m not about to leave her vulnerable to people who don’t want her around. Maybe removing Lydia from the equation will make Alpha leave everyone else alone.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you sighed.

“I gotta try.”

“I know,” you said and then leaned into him. He put his arm around and you savored the small moment. “Please be careful.”

“I will,” he said and then he pushed back to see your face. “Come with me.”

“What?”

“I know ya have been lost for a while. Judith mentioned you isolate yourself. Maybe you just need a break.”

“What happened to me needing to figure out my shit here?”

“Fuck that,” Daryl said. “I ain’t always right.”

“I’m needed here, D,” you said.

“By who? Michonne? Or Negan?”

“Judith,” you said. “RJ, Laura, Scott, Gabriel, Siddiq, and Ro who are about to be parents,” you reminded him. “I can’t just run away.” He caught your double meaning.

“Ya mean like I did?” he asked, but there was no venom in his voice.

“I never blamed you for leaving after Rick, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think that you should have been around more.” He nodded, understanding where you were coming from.

“So, that’s a no?”

“Yeah, D, it’s a no,” you said and then sighed, but pulled you back into him, gripping you tight.

“Remember what I said, Kid, don’t try to fix him. We are the way we are and if you somehow found something you care about in a man like that, don’t try to find a reason to ruin it.”

“I thought people could change,” you said into the side of his neck.

“They can, but deep down, there’s always that one thing that makes them, them,” he said.

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” he whispered. “Yours is that you don’t give up. Never have, and I don’t think ya ever will. I’ll see ya soon, I ain’t gonna just disappear again.”

“Promise?”

“Ya, I promise.”

“Good,” you said and then squeezed him once more before he shouldered his bow and with a quick whistle had Dog running after him. You actually believed him this time that you would see him soon and that was comforting. Connie waved to you as the gate slid closed and you were only hoping that whatever they had planned, they would get through it alive.

---------

The next day, it was early and Alexandria was saddling up to head out for The Kingdom.

You found yourself heading to Aaron’s, trying to muster up the courage to speak to him. You missed him and you knew that whatever was going on between the two of you, you needed to deal with it before it got worse.

Knocking on the door and Gracie answered. “Hey Gracie,” you greeted. “Is your dad home?”

“Daddy! (Y/N)’s here!” she shouted behind her and then turned back to you with a large grin on her face. “He’s getting things ready for the fair,” she explained.

“Are you excited?” you asked as you heard Aaron’s footsteps approaching.

“Yes!” she said, jumping up and down a bit. Aaron appeared behind her, his eyes narrowed at you on his front porch.

“Hey,” you said.

“Gracie, why don’t you go finish putting your bag together?” Aaron suggested.

“Okay! Bye, (Y/N)!” she said, as exuberantly as always. You didn’t know where she got all her energy from. When she was out of sight, Aaron turned his attention back to you.

“Can we talk?” you asked and he hesitated. “Please.” With a sigh, he gestured to the bench on his porch and you quickly took a seat, eager to say your piece. Aaron was quiet as you took a breath. “Aaron, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked.

“Being an asshole and not being a very good friend these past couple of months. I’ve been confused and angry and I have been taking it out on you instead of dealing with it.”

“I guess that’s one way to put it,” He said with a snort. He then turned his gaze towards the Grimes house and what was beneath it. “I just hate that you stick up for him.”

“I know.”

“And what’s worse is that I can see that he makes you happy. I don’t know what to do with that, (Y/N).”

“I don’t know what to do with it either. To be honest, I don’t know what to do with any of it. The last thing I ever expected was to care about someone after the world ended, let alone someone like him.”

“Then why do you?” he asked, genuinely curious. “Why Negan?”

“I don’t know, Aaron. I guess maybe because I always felt misunderstood and like an outcast. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and I didn’t think I was worthy of forgiveness…”

“You think we should be forgiving him?” Aaron asked, raising his brows.

“No, because I know none of you will. I don’t even know if I could ever forgive him for what he did to Glenn and Abraham. I don’t know if I could forgive a lot of the things he did.”

“What do you know?” he asked.

“I know that whatever I feel for him is my business and something I need to figure out with him and only him. It’s something I would like to do without the entire town ready to pick up torches and pitchforks.” Aaron laughed at that.

“I don’t think we’d go that far,” he said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you said. “Negan isn’t perfect, but he’s not evil. There is good in him and I’ve seen it, but I need you to know that I don’t expect you to see it too.”

“Good, cause I won’t,” he said shortly.

“I know you hate him,” you continued, “but I don’t and I need time to figure out why.”

“Are you asking for my permission?”

“No, absolutely not,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “I’m just telling you that I don’t plan to turn my back on him, at least, not just yet.” Aaron nodded, his eyes staring at his boots. His right hand fiddled with the straps on his prosthetic as he thought about your words.

“Why are you mad at him?” Aaron said and you paused, not expecting the question.

“Who says I’m mad at him?”

“I know you,” he said.

“God, I really wish people would stop saying that,” you said, rubbing at the back of your neck.

“I’ll tell you what,” Aaron said. “I’ll stop being an ass to you if you stop being an ass to me, deal? I think we’ve lost enough already to not have each other’s backs. I don’t need any more regrets.” You reached over and offered your hand. He took it and squeezed it in his own. The loss of Paul was still weighing on both of you as if it had happened only hours before rather than days. Aaron was trying and so, you decided you should too.

“Okay, I’ll take that deal.”

“Maybe you just need to take a breather,” Aaron said. “And I mean a real break. One where you’re not dealing with Walkers, Whisperers, or missing friends.”

“Are you suggesting I take a vacation?” you asked with your brows raised.

“Come with me to the fair,” he offered. “Help us with Kingdom. I know you turned Michonne down, but I am willing to convince you.”

“How are you planning to do that?” you asked. Aaron then smiled at you.

“I think I overheard Enid say that Alden has been singing more often. How much do you wanna bet he’s gonna get roped into singing a verse or two?” Aaron sent you a wink and you knew that there was no point in arguing with him.

“Fine, I’ll go,” you relented. “But first, I gotta talk to someone.”

--------

Before you headed out with the caravan, you made a final stop.

“Here to yell at me some more?” Negan said as you opened the door.

“Do you want me to?” you asked, approaching the bar.

“Not particularly,” he said as he sat up on his cot.

“I’m going to the fair,” you announced. He stood up at that.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, concerned.

“Seems to be. Kingdom needs this and so do I,” you said.

“I don’t like the thought of you going out there with those freaks running around,” he admitted.

“I can handle it,” you assured him but then decided to reveal something else. Something you had been careful not to let anyone else know.

“What is it?”

“They terrify me, Negan. These Whisperers are absolutely horrifying. You asked me not too long ago when the last time I was afraid and I said it was the day Rick died. Now? Now, it’s when I saw those...people walk with the Dead and look at us as if we were the ones who weren’t alive. It was when we were in that graveyard as they killed Jesus... I don’t know what to do with those feelings.”

Negan thought for a moment, almost moved by the fact that you had decided to come to him with this. Especially considering how your last conversation had gone. All he wanted to do was reach for you and take you into his arms, but he knew had lost those privileges the second he snuck beyond the walls. Instead, he went back to the roots of your communication. He offered a quote.

“‘I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it’,” he said quietly and you recognized it immediately.

“Nelson Mandela,” you whispered.

“He was brave, just as you are. I don’t care what they think or what they see. You are stronger than them and the only way they win is if you let them,” Negan said. “Look at me,” he ordered and you did. There was a fire in his eyes, but not the one that was usually there. It wasn’t one of tenderness, but of steel resolve. “Don’t give her an inch. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I know you don’t trust me, but I trust you, (Y/N). Help your friends and then come back. We have a lot to talk about.” You nodded, trying to memorize the words that he said, letting them cement in your mind.

Turning to go, you paused in the doorway. “Promise me something,” you said, looking back over at him.

“Anything.”

“There’s a line, the one that separates us from becoming like them,” you said and he knew you meant Alpha and her people. “If you ever see me about to cross that line…”

“I’ll drag you back even it means I have to take down every last one of them to do it,” he swore, that fire lighting up his eyes even more. You nodded, grateful for his response. “(Y/N),” he said, stopping you one last time.

“Yeah?”

“I promise I’ll be here when you come home,” he said and with those words, your heart felt an ounce lighter.

“I know.”

TAGS:

@lucillethings @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual

@yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers

@scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @fmunegan @hoemadegrace @pulplorrd @writingdead0829

#negan x reader #the savior sessions #savior sessions #negan imagine #Negan #the walking dead #twd imagines #twd #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead fanfic #walkerwords #twd imagine series #the walking dead x reader

117 notes · View notes

sunsetcurbed · 3 years

Text

you showed me faith is not blind (miracles happen)

Pairing: Alex/Willie Words: 5,686 Rating: T Chapter Warnings: none Chapter: 4/11 read on AO3

Chapter Summary: “Tell me about it, stud,” Willie grins, reaching up to brush something off of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex feels his face growing hot. Did—did Willie just call him a stud? In front of all of their friends? He looks at their friends who are all grinning wide—such a non-reaction that Alex is sure his must have imagine Willie’s words—and then back to Willie. “What?”

“What?” Luke cries. “Have you never seen Grea—has he never seen Grease?”

(*)

Alex regrets telling his grandmother that they could start lessons on Monday.

Their gig at Drake's goes from nine until half past ten, at which point another band takes the stage. While their parents are all there (all have to be there in order for them to even be able to play the gig) to drive them home right after, all of them are too amped up to fall asleep. They stay up until nearly three texting each other, first about the gig, and then about everything and nothing. Unfortunately, this means minimal sleep, as Alex's alarm comes to life only three hours later at quarter 'til six. Then it's seven and a half hours of school, and now—now…

"Why are you wearing joggers to school? To the Beasiga consulate?" his grandmother asks, and he thinks she does a great job hiding the horror with exasperation in her voice. She gives herself away with the dramatic hand to her chest, though.

Alex sighs and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes. "I had a long night, sorry. I didn't even look at what I was putting on this morning."

His grandmother huffs. She drops her hand from her chest, shaking her head as she looks him up and down. "Dear, you've got to care about how you present yourself, tired or not. Even were you not a prince, this is an important life skill—how you present yourself influences those around you. How they treat you, how they act, and especially what they think. How you choose to dress is how you choose to portray yourself. And it influences you as well. You would feel much more confident in a pair of well-fitted trousers, wouldn't you? And on that note—your hair."

Alex frowns. "My hair?" He reaches up and runs his fingers through it. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Well, nothing really. But do you not think you could shape it up some? Use some product?"

Alex pulls a face.

His grandmother looks at him. "I'll call in my stylist. How's Thursday? We'll get you set with a new wardrobe and new hair, all right?"

"Wait a minute—"

"If you don't like it you can go back to wearing your old clothes," she waves him off, "and your hair will grow back, won't it? Just give it a chance, will you?"

Alex isn't sure if it's because she's making fair points or if he's really, really tired, but he nods. "Yeah, okay."

Which is then how he finds himself sitting in the ballroom of the consulate three days later as Tasha—his grandmother's stylist—unclips the barber's cape from behind his neck and throws it off of him. He watches as it, and the rest of his hair that had fallen on to it, falls to the floor. He feels bad for whoever has to clean this room later. He's not given the chance to feel bad for too long though, because Tasha is spinning the chair around to face the mirror. He looks up and—

It's actually. Not that bad.

The sides are a little too short for him, and he's going to hate using product every morning to get it to stand up, but… it looks normal. It looks good.

"Wow," he says, for Tasha, Alden, and his grandmother's benefit. "I like it."

"Oh, wonderful!" his grandmother exclaims, clapping her hands together while rising to her feet. "Tasha, thank you for all your work today."

"Of course, ma'am," Tasha says, curtseying politely. "It is always my pleasure to work with you, you must know."

"I do," she smiles, and takes the hand that Tasha holds out to her in hers and nods once. "Thank you, dear. I will contact you for my hair for the dinner in a few weeks as well, is that all right with you?"

"Yes, that's fine. And it was my pleasure, ma'am," Tasha says again, and then she's gone, and Alex is alone with his grandmother while Alden escorts Tasha out.

His grandmother walks up, standing behind the chair and placing her hands on his shoulders. She makes eye contact with him through the mirror and smiles. "Do you know what I think?" she asks. He hums a question. "You look like a prince."

He holds back a grimace at those words and assesses himself in the mirror. He's wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a pale pink henley with the sleeves of the shirt pushed up nearly to his elbow. Half of him thinks that he looks like every asshole he's ever wanted to punch for catcalling Julie and Flynn when they were out walking around LA, half of him… kind of agrees with his grandmother. Now that he knows he's technically a prince, and now that he is dressed like this, and presented like this… he can see it.

It scares him.

"Uh, yeah," he agrees. "The clothes aren't half bad, either." They're not. They're really, really not. The clothes Tasha had thrown at him this afternoon were just regular looking clothes, albeit most of them are designer brand, but they're just… picked out for him, fitted to him, and then put together for him so he doesn't have to worry about whether or not something will match.

"You like them then?" his grandmother asks.

Alex nods, lifting his arms and looking down to study his current outfit again. "I do. Not as… posh as I was expecting."

She laughs brightly, and squeezes his shoulders. "No, of course not, Alexander. I know you're still in high school. I would never want to make you stand out. No. No, the goal here was to give you more confidence in yourself, that would never work if you felt you were dressed in some rubbish outfit that stood out at your school." She takes a deep breath and releases it. "Ah! I'm so glad you like it! You must tell me what your friends think tomorrow."

(Huh.

It scared him before.

He's terrified now.)

He doesn't have to wait long to find out what his friends think. His bus gets to the school seven almost every day—today is no different. Reggie and Flynn live on the same street and take the same but which always gets there two or three minutes after Alex's. Luke drives, and since he and Julie live a block away from each other, he gives her a ride. They're almost always there five minutes after seven, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Willie drives himself but he's a toss up as to when—or if—he'll show up each day because of his other friends. Classes don't start until 7:22, and, apart from Willie, their lockers are all in the same bay, and their first classes are all in the same two wings that are right next to each other, so they all spend their mornings together. So Alex knows that it won't be long before—

"Look at you, buddy!" Luke yells, jumping on to Alex's back, one arm wrapping around Alex's shoulder and neck to cling for dear life, while the other musses up Alex's styled hair. Shit, he should have expected that. Maybe he should have left it unstyled for the first few days. "Lookin' all fancy like, lookin' all—"

"Luke, get off of him," Julie commands, and Alex feels himself sway back. He grabs on to the inside of his locker so Julie pulling Luke off of Alex's back won't pull him over, too. A few seconds later, Luke drops off his back, and Alex stands up straight again. He turns to glare at Luke who is smiling innocently. Julie steps forward from beside her boyfriend and reaches a hand toward Alex's head. "Here, let me," she says, and then starts running her fingers through Alex's hair, tugging it until it's in place again. When she's done she wipes her hands on her jeans and steps back. "There. Back to normal before this one had to ruin it. It looks good! New clothes too?"

"Uh, yeah," Alex nods, shifting on his feet and pushing his sleeves up his arms, just to have something to do with his hands. It doesn't occupy them for long, so they drop back uselessly to his side. "My, uh. Grandma. She? She wanted to—she wanted to uh, spoil me a bit, I guess?"

"Dude, you should have asked for a new kit," Luke tells him.

Julie roles her eyes and throws a backhand into his gut. "Alex just got a new kit in March, Luke."

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be awesome if he had two? Then he could keep one at the studio and at his house."

"I, uh, don't think my mom would've let me get away with that, since she didn't even let me keep the old one," Alex makes up. "It's whatever. The clothes are cool, too, I guess."

"Hey, buddy!" Reggie's voice breaks in. "What happened to you?"

"Wow, Alex," Flynn adds, "are you getting… fancy—" she winks "—for someone?"

"Wh—? No. It—my grandma bought me stuff, took me for a haircut, she just wanted to do something nice for me."

"She did something nice for someone," Flynn grins, looking at Julie, who shares a look with her best friend. Alex wants to ask but at the same time, he really does not.

Julie mumbles something under her breath to Flynn. She then looks over Alex's shoulder and her smile widens. "Oh! Speaking of…"

Alex furrows his eyebrows together and twists around preparing for something potentially humiliating, only to relax immediately when he sees Willie. Willie's smile falters when he must see Alex's new look and his step stutters, but he recovers quickly and he offers a wide smile when he makes eye contact with Alex. Alex can feel the smile grow on his own face. "Hey," he says once Willie is close enough to hear.

"Tell me about it, stud," Willie grins, reaching up to brush something off of Alex's shoulder.

"What?" Luke cries. "Have you never seen Grea—has he never seen Grease?" he demands, turning to Julie. Julie sighs heavily, reaching up to pat Luke's chest, as he rambles to her something about a missed experience and movie night and she's the one that he wants. Alex gives him a look, and then turns back to Willie.

"Sorry, I guess. If that was a reference, I didn't get it."

"No worries, bro," Willie says. He looks at the rest of the group. "We should have a movie night though, if only to keep Luke from premature death."

"Thank you!" Luke shouts. "Do we want to do it tonight or tomorrow?"

"Luke's taking no prisoners on this one," Reggie leans over and says as an aside to Willie and Alex, still clearly loud enough for Luke to hear. He leans back upright and looks at Luke, "I'm good for either."

"Same," Flynn says.

"I'll be with my grandma this evening," Alex says. "So tomorrow would probably work best."

Luke raises an eyebrow. "You'll be with her all night?"

"I go over after school and I'm there until seven. So if we do it tomorrow we'll have more time," Alex explains, hoping they won't think too much into the amount of time he's spending with her and why it's so structured. But, well. Non-princes have structured visits with their grandparents too, right? He honestly can't remember. His last grandparent passed away when he was twelve.

"Saturday it is then," Julie decides. "That work for you, Willie?"

"Yeah, I can make that work," he says. "You guys finish practice at four, right?"

"Yeah, we usually aim for somewhere around there," Julie confirms. "So you can come over any time after four."

"Right," he nods, and snaps his fingers, instantly turning them into finger guns, pointing them at Flynn. "You want a ride, then?"

"Please," Flynn says, and Willie nods, reaching forward to high five her. When their hands collide, she clasps his hand in hers. "We can make our own band in the ride over too."

"Ooh," Willie cringes, "not sure if you want me in your band. Unless you just want me to dance for you. I've got that covered no problem, but anything beyond that, I—" he makes a face and pulls his hand back from hers to drag it across his neck in a cutting motion (even though Alex knows he can sing). "No go."

"Fine," Flynn huffs. "I guess we can let them have their thing."

"Oh, that's sweet," Reggie hums, propping an arm on Flynn's shoulder—the only one who could ever dream of getting away with that. "Did you hear that guys? She's going to let us have our thing."

"How considerate," Julie coos.

Alex holds up his hands in a show of innocence. "I'm an innocent bystander if Luke murders Flynn for calling our band a thing."

"I wasn't going to murder her," Luke rolls his eyes, shoving at Alex's shoulder.

"Maiming her is also a crime," Willie adds.

The group around Alex laughs and Alex feels his chest expand, happy to be with his people. It's not that prince lessons have been horrible, but they've definitely taken a lot out of him this week, especially being added on top of his schoolwork. He barely has time to talk to his friends anymore, let alone be with them like this. Even at lunch he's been working on homework, just so it's more that he doesn't have to do later that night. They've all been great about it—offering to help with his homework, catching him between classes just to get in their four minute conversations, and staying up a few minutes later than normal to text with him when he finally finishes homework for the night. But… this. The entire presence of the entire group is just rejuvenating and Alex is angry that he's only got a few minutes of it left. But he's going to soak it up for as long as he can, because he knows that he owes his happiness to his friends and right now, he's really happy.

At lunch, he's busy doing his math assignment, even though it's Friday. With band practice and the movie night tomorrow, and prince lessons on Sunday, he's not sure how much time he'll have this weekend for his homework. He's sure his grandmother would cut back on the lessons if needed, but if he can get it done at school just as easily, he might as well. He's hunched over his book and worksheet while his friends all make noise around him, Reggie jostling him every once in a while. Willie, however, never once bumps into Alex even though Alex can see Willie stand up multiple times to reach across the table to wrestle something away that Luke has stolen from him. It's surprisingly easy to get his work done despite the chaos. His anxiety drives him, causing him to hyper fixate on his work, but that also means that, like Tuesday, he forgets to eat.

The bell rings and Alex snaps his head up looking around him, his nearly completed math assignment still under his pencil. His friends are all getting up. Reggie grabs the piece of pizza off of Alex's tray and shoves it in his mouth. He mumbles around the food in his mouth, that only years of hearing Reggie speak with food in his mouth allows Alex to make out "you snooze you lose." He is, however, at least decent enough to throw away the tray of the food that he ate, so Alex doesn't complain too much.

He closes his worksheet in his math book, bookmarking the page where he left off, and slips the book into his backpack. He moves to stand up, but as he spins on the bench, he realizes Willie is still sitting next to him. When they make eye contact, Willie flicks his eyebrows up and down and smiles. "Back with us, hot dog?"

"Yeah. Sorry for ignoring you guys, I just—"

"Hey, no, that's not—" He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a bag of trail mix. "You didn't eat Tuesday, kind of assumed it was going to happen again at some point so I came prepared. Now at least you'll have something, dude."

Alex takes the pack from him and wills his face not to burst into flames and nods. "Yeah, thanks, Willie."

They both stand up and walk out of the cafeteria, heading towards their classes. When they reach the D wing, where Willie is meant to turn and Alex is meant to continue straight, Willie grabs Alex's hand and pulls him through the group of students to the wall. Alex follows confused, but willing, and frowns at Willie when Willie turns to him and leans against the wall. "D'you think your grandma would let me pick you up today instead of having her guard dogs take you home?" Willie asks.

"Huh? Why?"

Willie shrugs, nonchalant. "Haven't gotten to talk to you outside of text all week, and even text has been pretty sparse. I know you're busy, I get it, I do. But I kinda just wanna hang."

"What about tomorrow?"

Willie scoffs. "Come on, it's gonna go like every other movie night we have after band practice—you're going to make it through the first movie, which, by the way Luke's not going to let us talk through since you've never seen Grease before, and then you're going to be asleep within the first thirty minutes of the next."

"I will not—I won't—I—whatever," Alex mutters. He wants to refute it, but he can't drudge up a memory to do so. "I'll talk to my grandma. I don't see why it should be an issue."

"Great," Willie grins. "Have a great rest of your day, yeah? Text me the answer and address." He glances at the clock. "And you might wanna hurry to class too." Alex looks at the clock and curses, turning and rushing down the hall. He makes it to class with a few seconds to spare, and the anxiety of nearly being tardy morphing into the immediate focusing on class doesn't let him think too much on his potential… hang with Willie later.

When he gets to lessons that day, he asks his grandmother later if Willie can pick him up and she tells him yes. So at seven he bids goodbye to her, Alden, and John, the head of security. Willie's car is parked in the driveway and, just like last Friday when he came to pick him up just down the street, it looks entirely out of place in this neighborhood. Alex doesn't care. He gets in the car, placing his backpack on the floor, and buckles himself in. Willie had started driving as soon as he shut the door, so when Alex looks up, they're already turned out of the driveway. "Where to, then?"

"I'm not sure," Willie shrugs. "I didn't plan that far ahead."

"You're a horrible date," Alex jokes, sinking further into his seat.

Willie casts a look at Alex. "Yeah?" he grins.

"The worst."

"Well I guess I just have to step up my game then," Willie hums, and flicks his turn signal on to switch lanes. It seems like he's made his mind up where they were going. "So how's school been—how did your midterms go? Junior year kicked my ass, and I didn't have the added pressure of learning to become a prince."

Alex laughs, but starts talking about his classes and what he got on his midterms, before asking Willie about his classes as well, and about what Alex should expect next year. About twenty minutes later, Willie is pulling into a parking lot, pulling out his wallet as he does so he can pay. Alex looks around at where they are and frowns. They're near Venice Beach but not at Venice Beach, so Alex isn't sure what Willie's plan is here. However, there's a parking lot here, so Alex figures there must be something of significance.

They get out of the car and right away Willie leads him in one direction and, well, it all makes sense then.

"Seriously?" Alex groans.

"What, hot dog?" Willie asks, turning to him, holding his arms out at his sides. "Are you not impressed with my date?"

"This is the most cliché Los Angles date," Alex tells him, taking a few longer strides so he can catch up to Willie, who's walking up on one side of the Venice Canals.

"Is it? Is it really? Because by the look on your face you didn't even know where we were until just now. I think I'm winning at this whole date thing."

All right.

They really need to stop saying 'date' before Alex starts to get his hopes up. They're already up enough as it is—adding in banter about their non-existent date is… not helping him.

"Just because I've never been here before—"

"You've never been here before?"

"No. My parents don't really do tourist-y places," he says.

A smile spreads on Willie's face. "Oh, that probably means I have more date material, doesn't it? All the tourist spots you've missed out on your entire life?"

Alex hums, and doesn't comment, because fuck, stop saying date.

"This was actually my parents first date, too," Willie says, and Alex's mind malfunctions at the 'too.' Sorry, too? Too? He runs Willie's words back in his head. Yeah, he definitely said too. "They met at Venice Beach and decided to keep their first date close to where they met since they thought maybe it was lucky or something." Too. "That's what my mom says, anyways. My dad always laughs when she says that, never agrees, but never disagrees, either. I definitely don't agree, I don't think Venice is lucky or anything." Too. "I do think it's a good spot though, cliché or not. You can't deny that it's a great place, right? So, c'mon, hot dog. You can go on and admit that I'm actually the best date."

Alex laughs. He hopes it's just him that it sounds off to. "Not a chance, puka. A date isn't just the location, you know."

Willie quirks his eyebrows and pokes his tongue in his cheek. "You're right." He reaches over, grabs Alex's hand, and tugs. They start walking the canals and Alex expects Willie to drop his hand but he doesn't. "I can't ask first date questions since we already know everything about each other—" first date. Alex is maybe panicking. "—so you gotta help me out here. What don't I know about you?"

Alex's brain is currently short-circuiting, so thinking of these things isn't easy for him at the moment. He takes a minute to really think about everything that Willie knows about him and says, "I actually like the sofritas at Chipotle more than the steak. When Julie told me it had more sugar it ruined my whole 'it's healthier' disguise."

"Dude, I know that," Willie laughs. "You devour sofritas. No, that doesn't count. Something else."

"I hoard books. I've literally got over a thousand books. I have three book shelves in my room and—"

"No, I knew that, too. I've been to the bookstore with you, and I've seen your room on Snapchat. Something else, man, dig deep."

"Okay, here," Alex starts. "No one knows—well, actually Julie probably knows at this point. But Reggie and Flynn don't—"

"Luke does?"

"I'm getting there," Alex says. He pauses. "He was my first kiss. And second and third and—a lot. We didn't… date? But both of us wanted… practice."

"Really," Willie whistles. "When was this? I thought he's been all eyes for Julie since he met her?"

"Yeah but they didn't get together until sophomore year. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he was practicing for her," Alex admits. "I didn't care. It was just… nice, at the time."

"Huh. Well, yeah, okay, definitely didn't know that one," Willie acknowledges.

"Yeah," Alex laughs, "like I said, no one does."

"All right, your turn."

"You're not just going to answer?"

"You wanna ask the same question then? Something you don't know about me?"

"Oh." Alex looks down at the ground. In the corner of his eye he can see their hands swinging together. He looks towards them. They look completely fine even though it feels like his hand is on fire. "Uh," he clears his throat, and looks back up, looking at Willie. "If you could talk to any animal, what would it be?"

Willie's step falters and Alex opens his mouth, about to take it back, ask for a redo, when, "like, any species of animal, or like, a single… one animal, like, say I had a pet dog, I could only talk to that pet dog?"

"Like, a species?" Alex says, voice lilting into a question.

Willie hums, thoughtful, but he looks genuinely into the question, so Alex doesn't ask to take it back even though he feels like it had been a ridiculous question. Willie's face is so focused that Alex doesn't want to break him out of it. After a minute, he picks his head up from where he'd been watching the ground as they walked, and looks over at Alex with a confident look on his face. "Crows. Hands down. They're supposed to be one of the smartest animals out there. Did you know they understand water displacement? Like, scientists did an experiment where they put treats in water in long, skinny test tubes and gave the crows objects. They-they figured out that the heavier the object, the higher the treat rose. They learn safe and dangerous places to go, and they can remember good and bad people, and hold grudges against bad people and even pass those grudges down through generations. And they, sometimes they hold funerals? Which I think is really cool of them. They're can make their own tools or use things around them—there are crows that drop nuts in the street during red lights in path of car tires, let the cars run the nuts over, wait for the light to turn red again, and then go get the food. They just… they seem so cool, y'know? I'd love to talk to something that intelligent that isn't human."

In the second that it takes Alex to blink, he falls even further in love with Willie. Alex… can't believe that Willie is real. He took Alex's dumbass question and ran with it and didn't give some half-assed answer like most everyone else would have done. He put genuine thought into a inane question and even before he answered he had made Alex feel relaxed for asking a question that Alex had thought was dumb. Alex feels so at ease around Willie, even when he does something foolish like ask a completely out of place question, and Willie just… makes him feel like it's okay. Willie makes him feel like it's not an out of place question.

"Alright, sticking with the animal theme, if you could be an animal for one day—what day?"

Willie really makes him feel like it's not an out of place question.

"I—" Alex goes to answer the question, then narrows his eyes. Well that's not how he expected the question to end. He looks over at Willie and sees his shoulders shaking as he giggles to himself. He goes with it, just like Willie had. "Is it every week or just this upcoming day?"

"Hm. Every week."

"Sunday," Alex decides. "It'd get me out of the seven hour lessons I have coming up every Sunday for the next month and half for the foreseeable future and after that… wait, is this like… a werewolf situation where like… Sunday, boom, I'm an animal? Or do I get to like, change at will?"

"Let's go on the side of chaos. Boom, you're an animal."

"Oh, great. That's fun. That's awesome. I hope I'm not a dangerous animal."

"Nah, man," Willie grins, bringing his hand that's not holding on to Alex's and swinging it to bump Alex in the chest. "You'd be a golden retriever. But like, one who wasn't taken out enough as a puppy, you know? So you're scared of shit."

"Makes sense. Yeah, though, still Sunday. Gets me out of lessons. And it can't be Saturdays because of band practice, and I can't miss a day every week of school a year, so. Sunday is the only option. Plus maybe my parents would stop giving me disappointed looks every time I didn't go with them to church. I can't Mom, Dad, I'm on four paws and slobbering."

Willie swings their hands exaggeratedly between them. "Who knows? Maybe if you were a dog they'd have an excuse to clip a leash to you and literally drag you to church." Alex looks at Willie, horror on his face. Willie laughs. "Alright. Your turn."

He looks back ahead. He dodges out of the way of a couple that's passing them, which means he has to press his body closer to Willie's. When they separate again, his mind is going so fast he can't keep up. He tries to think of something, tries to come up with anything. "What are you most proud of?"

Willie's eyebrows go up. Alex thinks he's asked another stupid question for a second until, "huh. That's a good question. I'm… not sure? Obviously I'm really proud of my dancing, I'm really proud of my grades, my dedication to my work… I'm really proud of my skateboarding. I've come a long way with that, and it's… you know my skateboarding is like… is like my happy place. But I also don't skateboard to show off or for a job? So saying that I'm most proud of it doesn't feel right." He looks over at Alex and studies him. He tilts his head, and then looks back out at the path they're following again. "I'm proud of my friendship," he decides. "I'm proud when the kids at the skate park come to me when they need help with a trick, or when they want to show off a new trick. And when Flynn and Julie ask me to help them prank you guys. And when Reggie feels safe enough to tell me about his parents fighting again, and takes me up on my offer to hang out at midnight just to get him out of the house. And when Luke asks my opinion on a new song and genuinely cares about my opinion. And when I help you through a panic attack, and see you come back to yourself and know that you're okay. And—and just hanging with you guys, making you smile, making you laugh. I'm proud of that."

He feels overwhelmed for a moment, but when it passes, he feels so genuinely grateful to have a friend like Willie. To have someone who is not only willing to help him through his darkest moments, but is proud to do so, who isn't ashamed or embarrassed to be associated with the kid who has anxiety. He's grateful that his friends have someone like Willie: that Flynn and Julie have another mind to help them—with school as well as their pranks. And Willie not only helps Reggie with his parents, but sometimes Reggie will see Willie playing with a fidget toy and a few days later at lunch Willie will toss it to Reggie, holding up a new one saying his parents had accidentally gotten him two. Then with Luke, Willie helps him get away from music and just exist in the world and he's one of only five people who can do that, so that's amazing enough on it's own. And with Alex, Willie is there through the hard times, yes, but Alex loves most when they're celebrating the good times together because that's when Alex can appreciate it the most. It's just—Willie's incredible, he's an incredible friend, and Alex is so glad that Willie knows that.

"I think I asked the better questions," Alex murmurs, at a loss for anything else to say. But, Alex really does think he asked the better questions in the end, even if they had been dumb. Or, maybe he didn't ask the better questions; maybe Willie just had the better answers. He feels like he got so much more out of Willie than Willie got out of him and for a second, he feels guilty. This had been Willie's idea—Willie had been the one who had wanted to find out more about Alex. Alex will just have to find ways to disperse pieces of himself into the rest of their conversation today to make up for it.

Willie tips his head back and laughs. "Uh-uh, no way. My first question got out of you that your first kiss was Luke Patterson. Clearly the superior question." Alex groans and drops his head. "Yours were a close second and third, I'll give you that."

Alex huffs, feeling his face heat up. "I'll just think of a better question."

"Nothing is going to beat finding out that Patterson was your first kiss," Willie says, squeezing his hand. It sends a jolt through Alex, and reminds him that they are, in fact, still holding hands. That they are walking around Venice Canals holding hands. On a "date." Oh, fuck him. He looks over at Willie who is looking back at him with a smug grin on his face. "So. Your Royal Highness—" Alex groans, and Willie laughs "—what exactly have you been doing at those lessons of yours?"

#willex #willex fic #willex fanfic #jatp fic #jatp fanfic #ysmfinb #my writing

37 notes · View notes

shellyseashell · 3 years

Text

GOLD RUSH

Chapter Three - Not As Bad

Note: @kotlc2021collab here’s the third chapter!

Masterlist

TIRED OF LINH and Marella and deciding to get some work done, Sophie had left the cafeteria after she finished her lunch. She had promptly gotten a text from Grady, saying that they needed to talk whenever she was available. Since she still had fifteen minutes until lunch ended, she decided to call him.

“What did you need to talk about?” Sophie asked once Grady had answered.

There was a silence on the other side, and for a minute Sophie thought Grady might not have heard her. But before she could repeat herself, there was a sigh and Grady said, “It’s about Iggy.”

Sophie froze. Iggy, her rabbit, had had health problems in the past, but they’d never been too serious. Still, bringing up Iggy and anything negative made her heart pound. She’d had Iggy for years, ever since she had been adopted. He’d been one of the things that had helped her adjust. Why she’d been allowed to get a rabbit and not a dog, she didn’t know. “What about Iggy?” She was almost afraid to ask.

“He’s sick again,” Grady said, confirming Sophie’s fears.

Taking a deep breath, Sophie leaned back on the shelf behind her. “How sick?”

A pause. Sophie’s heart felt like it was trying to escape her chest, and she was sure she’d get kicked out because of how loud it was pounding. The silence was too long. And then, “He’s probably not going to make it, Sophie.”

There it was. Her worst fear confirmed. Iggy was dying.

“I’m sorry I told you during school,” Grady said quietly.

“No, I’m the one who called you,” Sophie said. “Thanks — thanks for telling me. I’ll see you at home.”

She hung up. Sophie stifled a sob as she slid down the shelf and curled her knees up to her chest. The library was most definitely not the place to cry, but she didn’t have the energy to get up. Iggy was dying. Iggy was dying. It was the only thing she seemed able to think of, and she didn’t even hear the footsteps approaching her.

“Sophie?” Out of all people, it had to be her.

Wiping tears off her face, Sophie stood and leveled her glare at Biana. She was surprised to find the girl looking at her with concern. “What do you want?”

“Are you okay?” Biana ignored her question.

Sophie crossed her arms over her chest. “Like you care.”

Biana glared at her, but her expression quickly softened. “Look, you’re clearly upset about something. Better to tell someone what’s wrong, even if it's someone you hate.”

Sophie had a lot of arguments against that logic, but the fight had drained from her, and she slumped back down on the ground. “Iggy is dying.”

Biana sat down next to her. “Iggy is your rabbit, right? Fitz has told me about him.”

Sophie nodded. “I’ve had him since I was adopted. He’s had health problems in the past, but they’ve never been that bad. Now, though . . .”

Biana placed a hand on Sophie’s arm. “I’m sure your parents will do their best to help him.”

It was the only thing they could do.

Sophie let out a sob she muffled with her arm, and Biana did something unexpected. She hugged Sophie. Wrapping her arms around her and pulling her to her chest. Sophie stiffened, not expecting that sort of affection from Biana, but soon softened and started crying.

Biana let her cry. She let her cry and cry and cry some more. She wasn’t sure how long she lay there sobbing, but somehow, when her breathing was even and she could see again, Biana was still there. Though she hated Biana, there was something oddly comforting in curling up against the girl and letting her comfort her. She didn’t want to leave.

But she knew she had to, and she might as well not make this awkward.

She pulled away from Biana, ignoring how she looked disappointed. “What were you doing here anyway?”

“I was coming to do research,” Biana said with a small grin. “Guess you had the same idea, huh?”

“Yeah, until the whole ‘Iggy is probably going to die’ thing,” Sophie said, her eyes welling up again as she choked out the words. Sophie coughed and blinked away the tears. “But we should look for some books while we have time.”

Biana nodded, and so they got searching.

They didn’t talk the rest of the time, each girl absorbed in their task. As Sophie flipped through the various books, her mind wandered to both Iggy and Biana.

Iggy, because she didn’t know what she’d do without him. Of all the animals to die, it had to be him. Not that she wanted any of them to die — each death brought on a wave of grief, even if short lived. At this point, she should have been used to animals dying and not being able to do anything. It was a normal occurrence. Still, this was Iggy, and Iggy was different.

And so was Biana. Biana, her enemy, had seen her crying and hadn’t laughed. She had comforted her, and made sure she was okay. She didn’t know where the sentiment had come from. For as long as she could remember, it had always been a constant rivalry. Biana hated Sophie, and Sophie hated Biana. Neither had ever been bothered by it, and neither questioned their feud. But now, something about Biana felt different. She didn’t seem as bad. She almost seemed nice. Like they could be friends.

Sophie wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

———

THAT NIGHT, ONCE her homework was done and cross country was over and she had nothing to occupy her mind with, Biana found her thoughts wandering to Sophie. She’d never lost a pet, and the closest she’d come to losing someone was when her mother divorced Alden, and that hadn’t been awful.

Though she couldn’t sympathize with what she was going through, Biana knew Sophie holding in her feelings wouldn’t work out in the end.

She used to bottle her emotions when she lived with Alden. It often resulted in her snapping and letting her emotions out at once. Which usually meant yelling at someone and only rising the already high tension between the family. But when Alden was finally gone, she had finally let go of all her emotions, and it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

She hoped Sophie wouldn’t do the same.

Biana sat leaning over the counter in the kitchen of their small apartment, that they had moved to to get away from the memories of Alden. Della cleaned the kitchen in front of her, and Fitz sprawled out on the couch behind her.

The apartment was only a few rooms. The kitchen and living room combined, one half of the room holding a couch, some chairs, and a TV. The rest held the table and kitchen, a counter with bar stools spreading the two. Down one hall was the front door, and down the other were four bedrooms — Fitz’s, Biana’s, Della’s, and a guest room, which would sometimes double as Livvy’s when she was spending the night and felt Fitz and Biana wouldn’t want her sleeping with their mother.

Tonight, though, Livvy wasn’t there. It was just the three of them.

Della looked over to her. “You alright, Biana?”

“Huh?” Biana said, snapping out of her thoughts. “Oh, yeah, fine, I guess.”

Della placed the dish in her hands down and turned her full attention to her daughter. “What’s up?”

Biana sighed, and explained what had happened today. Once she had, Fitz said, “I should go check on her,” and left to his room.

Biana stared at the counter in front of her, trying to sort out the knot in her stomach. She didn’t understand why she was so worried about Sophie. Sure, she knew grieving a pet couldn’t be easy, even if they hadn’t yet died. But she had never cared about what Sophie felt before, so why should she start now?

“You seem to have a lot of thoughts about this,” Della said.

Biana nodded. “Yeah. I guess — I’m just so worried about how Sophie is handling it, and I don’t know why. We’re not friends, we don’t get along, I hate her.”

“And why’s that?”

Biana sighed, ready to give the reasons she always did, but paused when she couldn’t remember what those reasons were. Clenching her jaw, she glared at the space in front of her.

“That’s what I thought,” said Della. “You don’t actually hate her. You just feel like you do because of some rivalry or something that happened when you were younger. But you don’t hate her.”

Biana considered this. Honestly, she couldn’t remember ever really, truly hating Sophie. And she knew what hate felt like. It was the blood boiling, gut clenching feeling she got even thinking about Alden. The one that made her want to punch something and run away. The one that had torn apart her family and stopped her from having a childhood.

She had never felt like that with Sophie. It was always a slight disliking — annoying, but something she could deal with.

Maybe she didn’t hate Sophie. Maybe she was so similar to Sophie, liked her more than she should, and didn’t know how to process that, so she channeled it into hate and anger. In the past, channeling her emotions that way had not gone well.

Biana nodded slowly. “I — I don’t think I hate her.”

“I didn’t think you did. You should try talking to her, being her friend.”

Biana nodded. Maybe she should.

As if Sophie had read her mind, she got a text from her then saying, Want to come to my house after practice tomorrow to work on the project?

Biana, a smile on her face, replied, Yes.

Taglist: @salt-warrior @pai-shodown @cinderswrench @shadymcsilverbangs @cindersassasin @healing-winston-pratt @just2bubbly let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#naia writes #sophiana #sophie foster #biana vacker #gold rush #sophiana fic #kotlc 2021 collab #KOTLC #della vacker #fitz vacker

18 notes · View notes

cadence-talle · 4 years

Text

Rain Against A Window

Pairing: Eventual Fitz Vacker/Dex Dizznee, Eventual Biana Vacker/Sophie Foster

Wordcount: 1,746

Summary: Dex continues, “have you heard the rumors? About the prince and princess?”

“You mean the princess whose name is so similar to mine I visibly react whenever anyone mentions her? Yeah, I’ve heard of her.”

“They’re saying-” and here Dex’s voice drops to a whisper- “that Fitzroy and Bianca are alive.”

Other notes: Here’s the first chapter of the Anastasia AU! I’m a little nervous about starting a multichap, so please bear with me!

Read it on ao3 or under the cut!

St Petersburg, Russia. October 12, 1917.

Della rushes through the palace hallways, holding tight to the hands of her two smallest children. Fitzroy stumbles, and she pulls him to his feet.

“Come on, sweetheart,” she says. “We need to keep going.”

She doesn’t know where Alden and Alvar are. As soon as the shouts of “assassin” had been heard, she had taken Fitzroy and Bianca and run. She hopes that her husband and her eldest son are all right.

They turn into a hallway, and Della can see the doorway that will lead them outside at the end. She breathes a sigh of relief- they’re almost there. They’re going to make it.

Gently, she pushes Bianca and Fitzroy forward towards the door, spinning around when she hears footsteps behind them. Della’s sags when she sees Alvar standing there.

“Al, thank goodness,” she says. “Come on, we need to leave.”

“You’re right,” Alvar says coldly. “You do.”

Della blinks. “Alvar?”

Slowly, her son reaches behind himself and points a gun at her. Della freezes. “Alvar,” she pleads, “Don’t do this. You’re better than this.”

Alvar snorts. “Funny. I wasn’t aware you thought of me as ‘better’ than anything.”

“Alvar-” Della starts, shooing her other children towards the exit behind her back. Alvar growls.

“Even now, they’re more important than me.”

“They’re not,” Della says. “But it’s me you’re frustrated with. Don’t take it out on them.”

“I’m not frustrated,” Alvar responds coolly, gun never shifting in his hand. “I’m simply tired of this facade.” He steps closer.

“You’ll see. Or, you won’t, really. But as you go blind, know that this is what’s best for Russia.”

He pulls the trigger.

-/-

St Petersburg, Russia. February 23, 1927.

“Comrades!”

A crowd surrounds a wooden platform, the man atop it spreading his arms wide. “The revolution hears you. Each and every one of you. Together, we will forge a new Russia that will be the envy of all the world!” The crowd erupts into tears, and he gives the people below a wide smile.

This is Alvar, the ex-Vacker prince who took out his mother and siblings in a single night. Everyone in Russia- or, at least, in the general area around Petersburg- knows him. Some love him, some hate him, but all are agreed on one thing: you don’t mess with Alvar. Those who do tend to disappear.

A brown-haired girl lurks on the edge of the onlookers, frown deepening with each word Alvar says. When he begins to wrap up his speech, she sighs and ducks into an alleyway.

This is Biana Dizznee, fifteen year old scam artist and oddly good singer. She’s technically an orphan, but she’ll refute any claim towards that- this is my family, she’ll say, gesturing towards the Dizznees, not some people who didn’t even care enough to keep me. She disapproves of the current government, not that she’d ever be loud about it; she likes being alive very much, thank you.

Biana moves along the dirty streets to a small market, loud with the sound of voices. She walks over to a boy with strawberry-blond hair, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around, leaning against the fruit stall they’re standing in front of.

“Hey, Bi. What’s going on?”

Biana shrugs, picking up an apple and inspecting it for spots. She doesn’t know why she even bothers anymore, honestly- any and all fruit that’s being sold down here is sure to be half-rotted already. “Not much. Alvar’s on another of his tangents. Apparently Petersburg is now called ‘Leningrad.’”

Dex snorts. “Good luck with that.”

This is Dex Dizznee, Biana’s adopted brother. People say he can fix everything; and, while almost true, fixing things is nowhere near his most useful talent. No, that would be his ability to forge papers, hotwire machines, pick locks. If Biana’s the face of their little group, the one who talks their way out, Dex is the one who gets things done.

“Right?” Biana agrees, giving up on her apple. “He’s tried stuff like this before, too. It won’t work- Petersburg will always be Petersburg, no matter how many new names they give it. The tsar’s influence is too strong for that.”

“Speaking of the tsar,” Dex says casually. Biana recognizes the twinkle in his heads and jerks her head covertly to the left. They move out of the market, out of earshot of anyone incriminating. Biana raises an eyebrow and Dex continues, “have you heard the rumors? About the prince and princess?”

“You mean the princess whose name is so similar to mine I visibly react whenever anyone mentions her? Yeah, I’ve heard of her.”

“They’re saying-” and here Dex’s voice drops to a whisper- “that Fitzroy and Bianca are alive.”

Biana scoffs. “That’s impossible. Alvar killed them- he boasts about it once a week.”

Dex shrugs. “Maybe so. All I know is that the Ruewens, over in Paris, are offering a huge reward if someone brings them the lost Vackers.”

A slow smile creeps over Biana’s face. “And if someone was to, say, bring them the lost Vackers, or people who seemed like the lost Vackers…”

“That someone would get a reward.” Dex finishes. “A reward so huge we could pay off all of Mom’s medical bills right now.”

“Then let’s do it,” Biana says. “It can’t be too hard, right? I could play Bianca, you could be Fitz-” she trails off, thinking. “No, that won’t work. I look pretty close to a Vacker, teal eyes and all that, but you’re not even the right skin tone.”

“But you know who is?” Dex responds. “That streetsweeper everyone keeps thinking is your brother.”

Biana gasps. “You’re right. That’s brilliant.”

“All we need to do is get him on board.”

-/-

A light mist settles over the city as a teal-eyed boy sweeps a broom across the sidewalks, shivering as the cold sets into his clothes. Passer-bys push him this way and that, barely sparing him a glance.

This is Fitz. He doesn’t know quite who he is, or why he’s in Russia, but he doesn’t need to. Sweep the streets, he’s told, and sweep the streets he does. It’s a simple, mind-numbing job, but Fitz doesn’t care- if his mind is numb, it distracts from the numerous blank spots in his memory.

He’s just finished, leaning his broom against the wall inside a small hat shop, when a truck in the street backfires, emitting a loud bang. Unbidden, Fitz flinches.

Loud noises startle him. The nurses at the hospital believe that it’s a side effect of getting shot in the head, that every shot-like sound will trigger him, but Fitz thinks it’s more than that.

Loud noises these days, after all, never mean anything good.

The truck on the road moves on, a small paper-wrapped package falling out of the back. Curiously, Fitz picks it up and peeks inside.

It’s an ornate box, initialed with a gold-inlaid V that even Fitz, with his limited memory, knows- the sign of the royal family. He moves to tilt the lid open, but footsteps behind him make him hurriedly rewrap the box and turn around.

“Hello,” a girl with eyes the same shade as Fitz’s says. “We’d like to talk.” She loops her arm through his and Fitz’s eyes go wide. He pushes away, trying to back up. A boy with red hair, standing a few feet behind the girl, sighs.

“Bi, that’s probably not the best way to do this. You sound like you’re kidnapping him.”

Bi makes a considering noise and nods. “You’re right. Sorry,” she says to Fitz. “Just to clarify, ‘We want to talk’ wasn’t a way of saying ‘we want to kidnap you’- we actually do just want to talk.”

Fitz narrows his eyes at them, gesturing towards the hat shop in front of them. They huddle under the awning, and Fitz raises an eyebrow.

“Talk,” he says. Bi turns to her friend.

“Uh, okay,” she starts. “First of all, I’m Biana, and this is Dex. And we.. well. You’ve heard of the Vackers, right?”

Five minutes later, Fitz leans against the glass of the shop window, staring at them. “You’re going to impersonate the prince and princess and go to Paris to get money,” he says, “and you want me to help?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Dex agrees. “We’ll give you a third of the profits, though. What do you say?”

Fitz should say no. He should say no, and walk away, and tell the government. That’s what a loyal citizen would do, and Fitz has worked hard to be a loyal citizen.

But something in the back of his mind says Paris, and something in the back of his mind says you need to get out of here, and something in the back of his mind says aren’t you tired of being a streetsweeper, and Fitz finds he can’t say no.

“I’ll do it.”

-/-

The rumor mill in Russia flows as steadily as the Neva river, always staying its course. It can be diverted, of course, and it is- sometimes to Germany, sometimes to Belarus, sometimes to France.

Now, rumors flow to Paris, where a blond girl walks the streets, greeting people who she knows. She smiles and chuckles and seems, for all the world, like a people person.

She is not.

This is Sophie Ruewen, previously Foster. She’s the adopted daughter of Grady and Edaline Ruewen, ex-count and countess of Russia. Sophie’s never actually been to Russia- her parents left before things got too bad. She’s heard the stories, though, and keeps an ear out for any rumors.

Rumors are flying around Paris today, though, and Sophie carefully commits them to memory.

The Vacker siblings, it seems, are back.

-/-

And back in Russia, Alvar sits in his office, door closed and scowling. People are saying Fitzroy and Bianca are alive, which is impossible. Alvar killed them himself.

Still, every rumor in St Petersburg has a hint of truth.

Carefully, Alvar slides a drawer in his desk open and takes out his gun.

Better safe than sorry, after all.

-/-

This is Alvar, Biana, Dex, Fitz, and Sophie.

They don’t all know each other, not yet. They’re scattered, each with their own hopes and dreams and fears. Some of them are luckier than others. But all have a role to play in the drama of the Vackers.

This is Sophie, Fitz, Dex, Biana, and Alvar.

And with them, on a cold February day, we set our scene.

#lynn rambles #my writing #fitz vacker #biana vacker #alvar vacker #sophie foster #dex dizznee #kotlc #anastasia au

35 notes · View notes

a-lonely-tatertot · 4 years

Text

Keefe + Touch

pre-Sophie, early in Keefe’s friendship with the Vackers

(this was supposed to be a short thing about Keefe's love language and it turned into a hc about Keefe, Fitz, and Biana the best brotp)

(I apologize in advance there will definitely be more of these because I love them and I can't stop thinking about them okay)

okay touch is Keefe’s love language

but he doesn’t get much from his parents and when he does it’s a stern hand on his shoulder driving him towards an exit, grabbing his wrist and dragging him to his room, or a rough arm around his shoulder because of some stupid portrait and they’ve gotta look like a family, but the arm is tense and there’s no warmth in any of it

keefe learned when he was young that his family didn’t touch- no hugs when you’re happy, no hand holding when you need grounding, no casually leaning against one another, and if you did it was cold and stiff and unnatural

so Keefe stopped touch people in general, no one initiated it, they didn’t seem to want it

that’s how it went, he could smile from a distance, he could crack jokes and make people laugh but their breath only reached so far, and he was afraid if he touched them, their warmth would go away altogether

but when Fitz first showed up and grasped his shoulder for support because holy crap that was hilarious did you see her face?! Keefe went stiff but Fitz didn’t seem to notice, he was still laughing, and it made him happy but nervous because he didn’t want it to stop, so he didn’t move or say anything because then it would go away and not come back

after that first time, Fitz would do little things: grab Keefe’s shoulder during midterms because they passed and he was so excited! or lean on Keefe after a long agonizing day of endless classes, and he would notice time and time again, Keefe freeze and stay tense

and it just seemed so weird, did he not like it? did it startle him? did it scare him? so he brought it up with Biana cause by then Keefe was hanging out with her too

“Does Keefe go tense when you touch him?” he brings up one random weekend while they’re doing homework in the living room

“What?” Biana responds so genuinely confused and so he explains and the more she thinks about it the more he’s right

Keefe doesn’t initiate contact, he tenses when it’s sudden and evidently looks nervous when they hug him or even just pat his shoulder

It’s Biana who picks up all their books and papers throws them on the couch and grabs a piece of paper and says that they are going to figure this out homework be damned

At first, Fitz is like “he’s our friend, not a mystery but okay” and mildly panicking because she just threw the books what about homework because ultimately he really does care and wants to know what’s up

And so they spend the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out why he doesn’t react to touch well

They don’t stop for a moment to entertain the possibility of Keefe just straight up not liking people touching him, because he does tend to get in peoples personal space a lot and it just doesn’t fit his personality

So they spend the entire time making a list of things Keefe does that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking and over the next week they start looking

And they’ve got this journal thingy that they add onto of all these things that Keefe does

So they start noticing these little things about him and often they’re about how withdrawn he is and how quick he is to dismiss things that he does or when they compliment him he’ll be like “I coulda done better”

And Biana is like wtf where is this coming from?! And they spend weeks trying to figure what (and more importantly who because they both have the irresistible urge to throttle them) did this to him to make them like this

Keefe may still have his bold confident outside but Biana and Fitz really start looking for those little cracks and things that he can’t stop himself from doing

And then they have the midterms party and everyone’s fucking ecstatic and they all are waiting for their parents to come through the doors the vackers notice Keefe’s a bit more tense than normal but they blame it on midterms and not passing

But when the parents come through and they’re celebrating with Della (Aldens off on something or the other) and they look over to Keefe to ask what he got and find him

Staring at the ground tenser than they’ve ever seen him as Cassius stares down at him and says that he should’ve done better that he shouldn’t be second and he’s a disappointment

In a second both Biana and Fitz are like “ima go kill this man” and they take a second to chill out before walking over there to get Keefe away

And so they go up and Fitz watches as Cassius grabs Keefe's shoulder and has a sudden realization of holy shit that’s where it’s from and has a whole new surge of anger towards this guy

When Keefe sees him he starts to get nervous because he picks up on the sheer determination on their faces and doesn’t want to make his dang any worse and he gives a weak smile and tries to play it all off and when they ask if he wants to come to spend the night to celebrate and he tenses a little bit waiting for his dad to say no- he needs to study

And when it hits he watches his friends faces go harder at the statement and they push a little more but ultimately don’t win

as Cassius drags him back to candleshade he throws a weak smile back at them and a “I’ll see you next week” and Biana gives him a small wave but Fitz is just staring daggers into the back of his dad’s head trying to kill him with a look

So he goes home, he gets a small smile from his mother but that’s all before getting locked in his room for the night but the books get boring and quite frankly he already understands it all and doesn’t need the extra studying so what if he got second to Fitz? Fitz was a great person to lose to

He’s working himself up and he knows it so he draws and draws for hours but he doesn’t quite pay attention to the time going by as he watches his friends emerge on the paper in front of him when he heard the door creak

He doesn’t have time to grab his school books and frankly, he doesn’t try because he’s done with it and he braces for his fathers sharp voice and-

There’s bickering on the other side of the door, that’s not right and it flings open to Biana and Fitz standing proudly grinning like idiots “we’re breaking you out”

“I’m sorry” he’s still trying to figure out how they got there

“We’re breaking you out, come on!” Now Fitz's voice is a bit more urgent bit more worried, which isn’t understandable because his room is legit the entire floor

And he’s so excited, filled with the adrenaline of his friends being here when they shouldn’t and the fact that he didn’t have to be around his father for at least the night

This was a night of many firsts

It was the first time that Keefe truly felt seen

It was the first time that he got a hug from a mother that he didn’t initiate (and it felt real not the cold and stiff he was use to)

It was the first time he told them about his drawings, he told anyone for that matter, and they begged to see them and didn’t say that they were distractions like his father

It was the first time they sang together goofing off and dancing like crazy people with mallowmelt in their mouths

And the first time Keefe fell asleep, curled up on a couch, the three of them spread a crossed the room, excited for the next day

After that, they made sure to touch him in small and big ways, and slowly Keefe started to do it to

And when Sophie arrived and they got their friends, he was always the first to throw his arm over one of their shoulders, wrap them in bear hugs on bad days, or sling them over his shoulder and drag them away from whatever was getting them

Biana and Fitz still have the notebook, and they still write in it, sometimes it’s little memories, sometimes it’s things that their friends do, tiny things like the way they smile or how they act, they also have a list of human things that Sophie does and also showed them

#that was longer than I meant i'm sorry #kotlc #keefe sencen #biana vacker #fitz vacker #keeper of the lost cities #cassius is an asshole #my brotp #kotlc hc

42 notes · View notes

impostertamsong · 3 years

Text

Learning to Be Happy Again

A/N: Hello again, and yes I’m posting on Saturday. Things are not going Great, and I dunno. Feelin’ a little rebellious. Schedules are for normies. Anyway, I’ve made some edits so that the whole story is more accessible to new readers! If you’re new (or missed the last chapter), I’ve put one of those “first, previous, next” things at the bottom (right before the cut). If you’re more behind than just the last chapter, check my pinned post, all chapters are there.

With that said, get ready. This one’s a doozy (hate that I said that, but I don’t know what other word to use).

Chapter Ten: It’s Not Your Fault

The tree we found is large and shady, which is perfect. Fitz is sitting quietly next to me, thinking. He sighs, slumping further down the tree.

“What’s up?” I wonder.

“Oh, just,” he gestures, “everything.”

“Care to elaborate?” I don’t want to push too much because of what happened last time, but this seems like something that needs to be let out. “I know you don’t want to, but if it’s all you can think about, maybe it’s better to just let it go? Talking usually helps. Or writing, but I know you’re more of a talker. Well, except for maybe that one time,” I add, cringing at the memory of Fitz and Sophie sitting close under the panakes tree.

He laughs quietly. “Right, that. Well, I’m not really sure either of those things are great ideas. I’ll still think about it, I’m sure. I mean, it’s been at least a month since I realized and it hasn’t stopped--” He shakes his head. “I should stop talking.”

“No, no, this is good! What did you realize?” I scoot closer to Fitz, turning myself to face him. “I won’t judge you, you know that, right?”

“Except you will.” He stands up. “I should go.”

I jump up and grab his hands. “No, please? I promise I won’t--oh.” There’s a shooting pink warmth that flows from his hands to mine and I drop them, surprised.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, don’t be! It’s not your fault. I just, I don’t like you that way? I’m sorry, I, uh, you’re great and all, but,” I ramble.

“Just stop, I get it alright? I understand, I do. I just need time, alright? I’m going to go now,” he mumbles, looking at his feet.

“Okay, I’ll see you around, Fitz.” He turns around and walks away. I fall back against the tree, sighing. That was a weird turn of events. Definitely wasn’t except any of that.

“Elwin, can I talk to you?” I yell at the house as soon as the door closes behind me.

“Woah, chill, I’m just in the kitchen,” Elwin calls back, much less loud. He walks over to me. “What’s up? Did something happen with Fitz?” He sits down on a couch.

“Well, yeah.” I flop down next to him. “How’d you guess?”

“Pa—uh, just intuition, I suppose. I’m good at that sort of thing, being a medical professional and all.”

“Right, of course. I bet you have to deal with kids not knowing why something hurts all the time.” I smile.

“So, what happened with Fitz? Is he alright?”

“No, I don’t think he’s okay. But not in a, wow I don’t really know how to put it. He, well, he likes me. And I don’t. So he’s not doing great.” I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. “And I don’t really know what to do either? Like, do I comfort him or leave him be? I don’t know what’s best here?”

“Oh, I see,” Elwin says wisely. “What would you want if you were in his shoes?”

“Hm, I guess I would want space. But he’s my best friend, I can’t just let him wallow!”

“You can, actually. I know it’s hard to see people you care about in pain, but he has other friends. Dex and him have been getting closer since you, uh, were in a coma, so he has at least one anchor. And I’m sure Biana will be there for him too. He has other people, Keefe, you don’t need to carry everyone’s weight all the time.”

“But if I can help, shouldn’t I? And most of the time it’s my fault anyway, so I have a moral obligation to.”

“Was it your fault this time?” I hold my tongue, trying to seem like I’m thinking about my answer, even though I already know.

“Yes. Right? How could it not be? I probably led him on, and now.” I sigh.

“Actually, Keefe, it’s not your fault. People can’t control how they feel, and you certainly can’t do anything about it. And it’s also not your fault for not liking him back, you just don’t, and that’s okay.” He pats my shoulder.

“How’d you know I was going to say that next?”

“Well, I was a kid too once. I was in a similar situation to Fitz, but felt the way you did. I know now that my feelings towards this person weren’t anyone’s fault, but at the time, I definitely did. It’s all going to be fine, kiddo. Feelings pass. I bet you’ll be back to normal before you know it.”

“Normal? Is that possible?” I wonder.

“Well, if you make it weird, it’ll be weird.”

“Gee, thanks. I’ll try not to act weird,” I answer sarcastically.

Elwin sighs just as the door opens. Huz comes in, a burst of cold air after him. He kicks off his boots, cape, and scarf before flopping down on the couch across from Elwin and I.

“Oh, hello, honey,” Elwin greets, turning away from me. “How was work?”

“The usual. Zara’s making a lot of progress, which is good to see. She went through a whole session without lighting the chair on fire.” Huz smiles. “What’s going on with you two?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. Just teenager stuff,” I respond before Elwin gets the chance to. Something tells me he’ll spill everything, and I’d rather keep the embarrassment down to a minimum.

“Okay. Oh, have you given any more thought to getting help? I know the situation with your parents is bad, and I was just wondering if--”

“No, I haven’t given it any thought,” I interrupt, not wanting to further the subject. I keep getting put in corners here, I should probably make my excuses to leave.

As if on cue, my imparter rings.

“Hey, Keefe, you wanna hang now that you’re awake and all? Sophie, Fitz, Biana, and I are already here at Rimshire.” It’s Dex.

“Um, sure. But, should I be there?” I ask, looking at Elwin to confirm that I can go. He nods in approval.

“Why would it not be?” Dex furrows his brow, looking confused.

“Oh, um, nothing. Just, well, is Fitz alright?”

Dex’s face drops. “Oh. He told you then? He’s a little spacey, I guess. But he told me to invite you. Um, yeah. He’s fine, all things considered, I guess. But you’re going to come?”

I nod and we hang up. “You coming with, Ro?”

“Naw, I got things to do. And anyway, you’ve been ignoring me, I think you’ll be fine a little while longer,” she answers, fiddling with a knife.

“Um, okay,” I respond, unsure about whether or not to apologize. “Sorry?”

“It’s fine, dude, go have fun.” Ro smiles.

“Be back for dinner, or hail me if plans change, okay kiddo?” Elwin says.

“Yeah, ‘course. I’ll see you then,” stopping myself before I say anything too sappy. It was close this time, but Elwin has been so caring I can’t help but love him. He feels like the dad I never had, even more so than Alden.

I close the door behind me quickly, not dwelling on these thoughts, and leap to Rimshire.

First | Previous | Next

Want to be tagged for this (or anything else for that matter)? Fill this out: https://forms.gle/eY72LeGUuLnUnLNV8

Taglist:

@rainbowtay-11 @bookwyrminspiration @linhamon-roll @a-lonely-tatertot @an-absolute-travesty @worldwidepandamonium-deactivate @lusilver001 @an-andacondan @ultralazycreatorfan @molly-sencen @therealashpollo @polka-dots-and-cupcakes @blxckh0les42

#learning to be happy again #kam #teefe #Keefe Sencen #Fitz Vacker #Dex Dizznee #Elwin #Huz #Ro #huzwin #dadwin #koltc

10 notes · View notes

sourwolf-sterek32 · 4 years

Text

THIS MEANS WAR (Daryl Dixon x Reader)

Summary: It’s been nearly two years since the war with the Saviours ended. You and Daryl now ran the Sanctuary together and for once life was starting to look good. However, little did you know, your whole world was going to come crashing down around you very soon and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Jesus’ Twin Sister!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Blood, guts, language (just usual twd warnings)

Chapter 12-

You barley got any sleep again, but that didn't matter because the second the sky slowly started getting lighter you were up. Daryl was still fast asleep with Dog lying next to him, but to your relief Dog just watched you as you quietly made your way out the hayloft above the barn before making your way towards the cell.

What you did not expect was to find Henry lying on the ground beside Lydia, the two of them holding hands between the bars until they heard you and quickly sat up and let go of each other.

Neither of them spoke as they stared at you and Lydia must have remember you from earlier as her eyes flashed down at the handgun and machete strapped to your belt. You adjusted the strap of your bow on your shoulder and sighed.

"I'm not here to kill you, kid. I just want to talk." You said, keeping your tone gentle as you walked towards the cell and took a seat on the old wooden chair while Henry watched you curiously from where he sat against the wall beside Lydia.

"I know about your mother and what she does to you. I've had my fair share of parents who abuse their kids.... My real parents died when I was a lot younger than you, my brother and I lived in an orphanage, do you know what an orphanage is?" You asked and the girl nodded as she listened to you speak.

"Sometimes good families would come in looking for a son or daughter to adopt, but it wasn't always good families. Some people just aren't meant to be parents and I found one of them. I would've been a bit younger than you and my foster father began hitting me. He'd make me believe that I deserved it, that I did something wrong and the only way to fix it was for him to physically hurt me. If I laughed I got hit, if I made too much noise I got hit, if I did anything that pissed him off I got hit. Hell, some days if I breathed I got hit. But at the time, he drilled it into me that I deserved it, that I should be grateful to have someone like him because there were people out there who'd do worse things to little girls, so I believed him." You began to explain before Henry spoke up.

"How'd you get out of it?" The boy asked and if you were being honest you forgot he was listening, but Lydia seemed to be listening curiously as well.

"One day it got really bad and he nearly killed me, threw a knife at me and everything. I ran away, found a payphone called my brother who was still at the orphanage and he told the people who ran the orphanage what happened and they came and got me. The man was sent to jail for attempted murder, but the funny thing was I still believed I deserved it, but my brother made me see the truth, he made me realise that it was wrong... my brother was good like that." You said sadly, looking away from the two kids as you stared at the ground.

"The world's changed, it's not how it used to be, it's different." Lydia tried to argue, but you shook your head.

"The world has changed, but beating and hurting people is not okay, especially not a kid like you. It was never okay in the old world and it definitely isn't okay in this world either. Parents should love their children, they should be hugging and supporting their kids, not beating them. Physical abuse is not love, it's not even close. Lydia, what your mother does to you, it's not love." You continued to say, but Lydia shook her head.

"It's how my mother shows love, it's how she's always shown love." She argued.

"Then your mother doesn't know what love is. You don't deserve what she does to you, but you'll be safe here, okay? Daryl and I won't let anyone hurt you, but we need to know if your mother is going to come looking for you." You said and Lydia nodded slowly as she tried to process what you just said.

"My mums not coming for me. None of them are. If someone dies or gets taken or whatever, they move on. Like they never existed, that's how it's always been. They don't come into contact with big groups unless they don't have another choice. That's why I was trying to find out everything I could about you, so when I escaped, I'd have something to give them. A reason for them to take me back." Lydia explained, surprising you slightly that she said so much before the door leading outside opened and a few seconds later Daryl walked in with a tray of food and froze for a second when he saw you and Henry sitting by Lydia.

"You're her daughter. Does that not matter?" Henry asked in disbelief and Lydia lowered her head as she stared at the ground and you had a feeling she was slowly understanding that what you had told her earlier was true.

"What about our missing people?" You asked, trying to change the swing of the conversation as Daryl placed the tray on the table behind you and leant against the table.

"If my mum found them, I can't think of a reason she'd keep them alive. Sorry." Lydia replied and you could hear the honestly in her voice as she spoke and you were glad that the kid was starting to trust you, but that meant Alden and Luke were probably dead. First your brother and now those two, you were going to kill her mother if it's the last thing you ever do.

"She got a camp somewhere?" Daryl asked, realising that you were too caught up in your own thoughts to think of the next thing to ask because of course that was the right question, if you knew where her group was then you might be able to go find them.

"Near the guard bridge. Maybe a mile easy. But we don't- they don't stay in one place for long." Lydia answered and that was all you needed to hear before you stood up.

"Thank you for being honest and I meant what I said earlier, I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?" You said and Lydia nodded as she stared at you before you turned back towards Daryl and Henry, "I'm gonna go find Tara, I'll be back soon." You informed and Daryl nodded before you walked out the room.

You spotted Tara and Yumiko standing on the watch platform by the gate and began making your way towards it before the gate began to open. You glanced out the gate spotting Connie and Kelly -you think their names were- and a few guards from Hilltop walking, but that wasn't what caught your attention. What caught your attention was the group of walkers in the distance marching towards the community. Shit, they weren't walkers. They were the Whisperers.

"Tara! They're here!" You yelled, not even bothering to look over at the woman on the watch platform to see if she had heard you or not before you sprinted out the front gate and ran towards the Hilltop guards.

"Get her inside now! I got her sister." You instructed, sprinted past the two guards who quickly grabbed Kelly before she could run after her sister and pulled her through the gate as you reached Connie’s side.

"They're here, we need to hide." You said, grabbing the women's arm as she stared you in confusion before she began to gesture to her ears and shook her head. Oh shit, she was deaf. Okay, come on Y/N, you knew a little bit of sign language, you did a course on it years ago.

You quickly pointed towards the not-walkers and then pointed towards the tall corn field because you did not have time to try think of the sign that what you wanted to say. To your relief Connie seemed to understand what you were talking about as the two of you ran into the field to hide.

You quickly ran to the edge of the field, Connie right beside you as you watched the group marched towards the community. There were only about 14 of them, but there was one person who wasn't wearing a mask and you knew that must be the leader, Lydia's mother. Her head was shaven bald and you didn't miss the sawn off shotgun strapped to her belt behind her back.

"I am Alpha. And I only want one thing from you; my daughter." The leader -Alpha- shouted and you realised she was looking towards the watch platform where you could see Tara, Yumiko, Daryl, Magna and Kelly all standing and watching. Shit, this was not going to end well.

"Our community is more than capable of defending itself!" Tara warned and you quickly tried to sign what they were saying so Connie knew what was going on. You were pretty sure you were getting some of it mixed up, but she seemed to be able to fill in the gaps and was glad you were doing it.

"I show you my face because we mean you no harm. I just want my daughter. I know you have her." Alpha responded, you kept your eyes on the bald woman as you signed it to Connie. You did not trust that Alpha woman, especially not after what Lydia had told you.

"Ya should turn around. Leave now 'n no one gets hurt." Daryl yelled and you watched in confusion as Alpha raised her hand towards the sky.

"Wrong answer." She stated and suddenly more of her group began to walk out from the woods and behind the crops towards the community. They all spread out in front of Hilltop, some staying back while others joined the first group, but there was no mistaking how many there was and you were willing to bet there was more hidden somewhere else.

"Did you kill our friends? We found their horses." Magna spoke up for the first time as you slung your bow off your shoulder and knocked an arrow on the string. There were a lot of them now and if they tried something you weren't going to hesitate to kill them, they killed your brother, they're lucky they're still breathing.

"No. Which one of you leads these people?" Alpha questioned and that was enough to set you over the edge. Her people killed the leader of Hilltop!

Connie must have sensed what you wanted to do because before you even began to pull the string of your bow back, her hand suddenly grabbed your arm and you turned towards her in confusion. She pointed towards the group and began to sign Alden and Luke's name and you sighed. Shit she was right, they might have Alden and Luke and if you killed her or any of her people then she would definitely kill them if she hadn't already. Shit.

"What the hell does it matter?" Daryl snapped, glaring at the woman.

"Then I'll just address all of you. Your people crossed into our land. There will be no conflict. Your people killed our people. There will be no conflict. I'm done talking. Bring me my daughter or there will be conflict." Alpha threatened and you shook your head. No way are you sending that little girl back to her, not after everything and you knew Daryl wouldn't either.

You watched as Daryl began to walk off from the watch platform, the others quickly going after him and you knew whatever Daryl was going to do would be a bad idea, but there was nothing you could do while hiding in the field with Connie.

Suddenly, the front gates to Hilltop opened and you watched in shock as Daryl began to walk towards the group who were on the other side of the small fence that protected the front gardens from Hilltop. What the hell was Daryl doing? He didn't even have his crossbow and that bitch had a fucking shotgun behind her.

Daryl stopped in front of the second wooden gate as he stood face to face with Alpha and began talking, but you couldn't hear what they were saying as you watched nervously. You quickly drew your bow, aiming your sights at the back of Alpha's head because like hell you were letting Daryl that close without backup.

Connie quickly grabbed your arm again, but you shook your head to try tell her that you weren't going to shoot unless she made the first move, when suddenly a baby crying filled the air. What the hell? Hilltop had a couple of babies, but they were inside the community.

You quickly glanced in the direction of the noise, not wanting to look away from Daryl but needing to know where the baby was. You spotted one of the Whisperers holding a baby to her chest with a body sling and you frowned in confusion. They bought a baby out here? These people were more messed up than you gave them credit for.

You were so focused on the baby and trying to keep your eyes on Daryl and Alpha that you didn't even realise three more masked people walked towards Hilltop, until one of them pulled the masks off the two others exposing Alden and Luke, both with their mouths gaged. And to make matters worse actual walkers began to make their way from the woods towards the community, either from all the talking or the baby still crying or both, you had no idea, but you didn't care.

You watched as Daryl walked back off into the community and you sighed with relief turning your attention back to the group of the Whisperers that began heading towards the walkers, no doubt to try lead them away like how they were leading that herd of walkers in the cemetery that night, but with the crying baby it wasn't working.

You could see Luke talking to Connie with his hands behind his back and you managed to pick up the word 'baby' amongst all of it and mentally cursed yourself for not telling her about that, but your thoughts were quickly taken away when the Whisperer holding the baby took the baby sling off and the crying baby on the ground. No, she wasn't going to leave that baby on the ground was she? She couldn't let her baby get eaten by walkers.

You watched for a few seconds as the Whisperer began walking away from the crying baby on the ground. Suddenly, a group of Hilltop people on the other watch platform began banging on the tin fence, trying to draw the walkers away from the baby but it wasn't working. Fuck. You couldn't let the baby get eaten, it wasn't the babies fault that it was born into this crazy group. God damnit.

You quickly pointed towards the baby on the ground and Connie followed to where you were pointing and quickly nodded in silent agreement as you both sprinted out from the field. You quickly drew your bow, firing an arrow at the walker closest to the baby and Connie did the same with her slingshot and took down the other walker.

You threw your bow over your shoulder and continued running towards the baby on the ground, not even caring about Alpha or her people as Connie ran beside you and kicked a walker away from you as you grabbed the baby from the ground.

Connie took down another walker with her sling shot before the two of you quickly ran back into the field. You tried to calm the baby down as you threw the makeshift baby sling over your head as you held the crying baby to your chest with one hand and pulled your machete out with the other.

The two of you quickly ran through the field side by side, not wanting to lose each other as Connie took down most the walkers you came across, not wanting the baby to get hurt.

Suddenly, a walker grabbed Connie's shoulder from behind, but you quickly took it down as she gave you a grateful nod before another walker appeared right in front of you. Neither of you had a chance to do anything before Daryl appeared out of nowhere and stabbed the walker and you sighed with relief.

"Ya good?" He quickly asked, glancing down at the baby in your arm and looking over at Connie before focusing back on you and you quickly nodded. "C'mon, let's go." He said and you holstered your machete and grabbed Connie's free hand as you both began following Daryl back to the community.

Daryl and Tara explained what was happening and how they were going to trade Lydia for Alden and Luke. You hated the idea, you didn't want to send that girl back to her abusive mother, but Alden and Luke were part of your group and you had to get them back. It was the only option, you knew that, but that still didn't make it any easier.

"Lydia." You called out, stopping her and Daryl as they began walking towards the front gate to make the trade. You were still holding the baby with the baby sling to your chest as you walked over to them. "You're a good kid and you deserve better than this, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Lydia replied softly, but you shook your head as you pulled out a small pink pocket knife from your pocket.

"My brother gave this to me when I was about your age, said young women needed to be able to protect themselves if they ever had to. I want you to take it." You said as you handed it to her. She stared at the pocket knife in her hand for a few seconds before she looked back over at you with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry about your brother." She whispered and you nodded watching as she tucked the knife into her pocket before Daryl grabbed her arm gently and began leading her towards the front gate.

You, Enid, Yumiko, Magna, Connie, Kelly and Henry followed them, but stood by the open gate as you watched the two of them walk towards Alpha.

You couldn't hear what they were saying, but sudden relief washed over you once Alpha released Alden and Luke and they quickly walked towards the group of you by the gate. Enid immediately hugged her boyfriend as Yumiko and Magna hugged Luke, but you were more focused on Alpha as Lydia walked towards her and you watched in shock as Alpha slapped Lydia across the face. Your hand immediately reached for your handgun on your hip, but Tara quickly grabbed your arm to stop you and you watched as the group of them began to walk away.

Daryl walked back towards you with an unreadable expression, but you knew him. You knew he absolutely hated what he had to do. He noticed Tara was holding your arm away from your gun still and he nodded towards Tara before he grabbed your hand.

"Ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it." He whispered and you nodded ever so slightly before looking down at the baby boy in the sling around your neck.

Once you were back inside the community Tammy Rose and Enid helped you check on the baby to make sure he was okay and healthy, so you went to the infirmary and Daryl followed as they checked on the baby and to your relief he seemed to be perfectly fine.

You weren't really sure what to do with the baby, it wasn't like you had a orphanage for him, but after growing up in an orphanage you wouldn't want to put him through that. Tammy Rose had asked if you were okay with the baby, but before you could respond Daryl had said yes and that was that. You knew Daryl wanted a kid, you had talked about it many times over the years, but you couldn't have them and he knew that and he never got angry or anything at you for it, but now you did have a kid, well not a kid, he was a baby, you had a baby. How was that even possible? You were probably the least qualified person in the community for the job, but everyone had encouraged the idea and you had to admit, you were already in love with the little boy.

Daryl helped you feed him from a bottle with formula since you had both helped raise Judith, you knew he gist of looking after a baby. One of the other women in Hilltop who had a baby had given you a few clothes and baby gear that she didn't need anymore and you were grateful for that and now had the baby boy in a blue one piece jumpsuit.

That night you and Daryl were back upstairs above the barn and Daryl had set up a spare baby cot beside the blankets on the ground where you two sleep. Dog was lying on the ground beside the cot almost protectively while you tried rocking the baby boy in your arms to get him sleep with no luck.

"We had to give Lydia back, right? We had to do it, she isn't ours 'n they would 've killed Alden 'n Luke, but did we do the right thing?" Daryl asked softly, breaking the silence as you rocked the baby boy in your arms and looked over at Daryl who lowered his head and rubbed his face with hands, really struggling with giving Lydia back to Alpha.

"It doesn't feel like it, but we had to put our people first, even if it hurts. It's what Rick and Paul would have done if they were here." You answered giving Daryl a sad smile and he nodded as he leant over and wrapped his arm over your shoulder and kissed the side of your head.

Daryl gently took the baby from your lap and began bouncing him on his knee and you couldn't stop the small smile spreading across your face as you watched Daryl with the baby boy. He was good with kids, he was good with Judith when she was a baby and you knew he secretly wanted a baby of his own, but you could never give him that, no matter how much you wanted to... But, now it looks like were finally about to do it.

"Umm Daryl? Y/N? I found this in Henrys room." A young girl's voice said and you quickly looked over at the stairs to find one of the Hilltop teenagers -Addy, you thought her name was- standing by the top of the stairs holding a small piece of paper and you could already guess what was written there as you grabbed it.

"Shit." Daryl muttered under his breath as he took the paper from your hands and shoved it in his pocket and handed the baby back to you. "We gotta tell Tara, I'll track him."

"I'm coming with you." You responded, standing up as you cradled the baby to your chest who had finally fallen asleep.

"Nah, you've been through enough. Stay here 'n rest." Daryl instructed, but you shook your head. Like hell you were stay back while Henry was out there and you sure as hell weren't going to let Daryl go alone.

"We both promised Carol that we'd keep an eye on Henry. I need to do something, I can't just keep sitting around in this community, in Paul's community." You said and Daryl sighed, but nodded as the two of you walked down the stairs.

You spotted Connie sitting at one of the picnic benches outside Barrington house and pointed towards her and Daryl nodded, seeming to understand what you were saying as he walked off to Barrington house to tell Tara while you walked over to Connie.

She gave you a friendly wave once she spotted you and you smiled softly at the other woman before you showed her the letter Henry wrote and her eyes went wide in shock.

"Daryl and I are going after him." You said while trying to sign it to her, but it was a little hard with the baby in your arms, but luckily she seemed to be able to lip read. "Can you look after the baby until we come back?" You asked and Connie smiled with a nod.

'Of course.' She signed as she held her hands out and you carefully handed her the baby boy as she cradled him to her chest and began to rock his sleeping body slowly.

"Thank you." You signed and said before you spotted Daryl walking out Barrington House with Dog beside him and you jogged over to him as the two of you headed out to find Henry.

NEXT CHAPTER

A/N- Link to Masterlist in bio. I will reblog with my Daryl Dixon Tag List, if you want to be added to the list, just comment below.

I couldn't keep Y/N wanting to kill Lydia, I love Lydia although I will admit I was really suspicious of her at the start, but I love her and yes Connie doesn't go with Daryl and Dog, from this point on there’ll be a lot of cannon divergence in this fic, I hope you guys like it.

Anyway, the next chapter will be up on the weekend, but until then stay safe everyone and have a great day xx

#Daryl Dixon #Daryl Dixon x Reader #The Walking Dead #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon imagine #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead imagine #Norman Reedus #paul rovia #tom payne

101 notes · View notes