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creweemmaeec11 · 3 years

Note

Villain X Hero Writing Prompt- Today is the Villain's birthday but due to a bad memory accosiated with it (and because the villain is kinda lonely) they dont celebrate. The villain has a battle with the hero with the hero merging victorious, kidnapping the villain. The villain thinks they've been kidnapped for information however the hero made made dinner and got a meaningful gift for the villain. Have fun with this prompt!

I love this concept. Villains being surprised with pleasantries is everything♡ I know I didn't quite get to the present part, but it felt like the right place to cut it off. I also just realized I kinda forgot about the "for information" part, oops. also I'm so sorry this took so long!

As if their day couldn't suck any more than it already did, the villain had to go and top it off with losing in a fight with the city's hero.

Could this day get *any* worse?

They were handcuffed in the back of the hero's police car, driving through the city, towards the city jail, just like they had so many times before.

The villain had escaped jail multiple times, so this wasn't much more than a large inconvenience for them, at least it would have been, had it happened on *any* other day.

The criminal in question had gone out to avoid sitting at home alone with their thoughts today. Having to sit alone with their thoughts in a jail cell was an even worse option.

Letting out a deep sigh, they flopped back against the seat. Miserable. They just felt miserable. It felt like they couldn't even see colour in the world around them anymore.

"You're much quieter than usual," the hero commented as they drove, "Is something wrong?

"Excuse me‽"

"You're usually more talkative. These drives have never been this quiet before,"

"What do you care?" The villain muttered as they turned to look out the window.

That's when the villain suddenly realized something.

"Wait, we aren't going the right way," the villain blurted out, sitting up straighter suddenly.

The hero in the front seat gave a laugh under their breath, "you only just noticed?"

"This isn't the way to the station or city jail,"

"That would be because we aren't going to the station or city jail,"

The villain felt their throat tighten.

"Where are we going?" The villain asked, trying and failing to sound demanding. There were notes of slight fear. Nerves.

In the rearview mirror, the villain saw the hero glance at them, before their gaze fell back to the road ahead.

They didn't say anything.

"Hero..." the villain tried, "Where are you taking me...?"

"You'll see," was the hummed response.

A feeling of dread settled in their stomach.

Looking out the window, the car was already on the outskirts of the city.

Suddenly the radio was flicked on.

The villain swallowed nervously.

What a day to go out on, of all the 365 to choose from in a year.

After driving for close to half an hour, they were well outside the city and into the surrounding woods, pulling up to what looked like a small cabin.

It wasn't that the villain exactly *blamed* the hero for what they were about to do. Clearly, they'd pushed the other too far, or maybe the hero had finally grown tired of their game of cat and mouse.

This just wasn't how the villain imagined themselves leaving this mortal coil. It was always in a blaze of glory, last stand type of thing.

Still, they couldn't find it in themselves to fight back. Not today. Perhaps it was fate, to be taken out on the same day it all began. Poetic, if not ironic.

The hero got out of the car, straightening themselves and stretching for a moment before turning and opening the back door.

"Are you coming?" The hero asked, before surprisingly taking a step back away from the door so the villain could get out on their own. Not like it mattered, the hero probably knew there was nowhere to run out here now.

"Do I have a choice?" The villain muttered under their breath, looking at the ground.

The hero had the *audacity* to look *surprised* at that. As if they were shocked the villain wasn't jumping with excitement to get this over with.

"Well, I mean... no... I guess... I'd like to think I'm not forcing you but..."

The villain sighed, before swinging their feet out and standing up. Luckily, they'd been cuffed in the front this time, which- now that they thought about it, was also abnormal- but it made it easier to get out of the car on their own.

Still, they felt the hero put a hand under their arm to help steady them -as if polite bedside manner would change anything, only for the villain to shrug them off.

"I'm assuming there's nothing I can say to talk you *out* of doing this, is there?"

"What?" The hero asked in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"Ya know, pull the whole 'you don't have to do this, I'll be better, I swear' kind of thing?"

"Excuse me-?"

"I mean-" the villain continued. They were rambling now. Maybe the fear was finally fully starting to kick in. The desperation, because they really *didn't* want this. There was no way they'd allow themselves to beg, but- "it would be a lie either way, I guess, despite the fact I probably shouldn't have said that I'm assuming you'd already know anyway, so-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down," the hero said, placing a hand on the villain's shoulder gently, snapping them out of their spiralling thoughts, "What in the world do you think I brought you out here for?"

The villain rolled their eyes, "At least make it quick, will you? And stop acting oblivious or like I forced your hand. At least own up to what your about to do,"

The other's eyes widened as the final piece clicked into place, "You think-! I'm not gonna kill you-!" They cried in what could have been mistaken for horror.

The criminal furrowed their brows.

"I brought you here to *show* you something, silly!" The hero explained, before stepping forward and unclipping the handcuffs off the villain's wrists.

Said villain's eyes widened, "what‽"

The hero nodded, smiling, "I have a surprise for you,"

"What?!" They asked again.

The hero only nodded excitedly before turning the villain by the shoulders and giving them a gentle push towards the door, "Go on! Look inside!"

The villain glanced at the hero uncertainty before stepping forward toward the cabin.

When they opened the door, they froze on the spot.

It wasn't anything crazy.... the inside looked like any other cabin. Table, chairs, small kitchen and living area with a couch and tv. Warm glowing lights and-

A banner hung from the ceiling that read in large letters "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

The villain spun around so fast they nearly gave themself whiplash, turning to the hero that had sense come up behind them.

They jumped back slightly, words and air catching in their throat as they gawked at the hero like they'd grown 3 more heads.

Said hero laughed lightheartedly, "Surprise!"

"What..."

It was like that had become the only word in their vocabulary.

"I know it isn't decorated much, but I didn't think you'd like the cliche ribbons and streamers and party hats," they made some jazzhand-like gesture, "I was also going to blindfold you but I didn't think you'd let me do that either,"

The villain could only stare, like their brain couldn't process the words they were hearing.

"I also made dinner, and a cake! Oh! I also have a gift for you too!"

The villain didn't move.

"Oh, and one last thing, I gave up and the fun cliche stuff just for you so I'm gonna make you suck it up and accept a birthday hug,"

"Why..." the villain managed, "why would you..."

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve this, I don't-" their voice cracked.

"Hey," the hero said softly, taking a step forward, "I heard you didn't celebrate, and I couldn't just let that happen. Everyone deserves to have a good birthday,"

The villain couldn't find any words, but the single tear that managed to quickly slip out and down their cheek did all the speaking for them.

The hero gave a small, sympathetic smile before opening their arms.

Nobody moved for a moment, before the villain caved, stepping forward and looking at the ground. They didn't reciprocate, keeping their own arms close to their chest, but allowed the hero to wrap theirs around them.

They'd never realized just how much taller the hero was until they were basically burying their face into the heros collar.

The villain couldn't even bring themselves to care at the moment, because they suddenly felt so safe, which was bizarre, considering how they felt on the way, but here they were.

"I still don't think I deserve this. Especially from you," the villain muttered from where their head was still tucked down against the hero's chest.

"I don't think your qualified for that kind of thinking, considering what you thought you deserved on the way here, which I'm almost offended by, by the way,"

The hero was rewarded with a small laugh.

"So, come on," the hero said before suddenly pulling back. They reached up, gently using their thumb to brush away the tear track on the villains face, "no tears," They reached down, grabbing the villains hand to gently tug them further inside "let's make some better birthday memories,"

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kunimikat · 3 years

Text

When they find out you don’t love them anymore

(Heyyy, so there might be a few grammar errors, but this one is pretty long so hold on) Also do you want the good endings to these? Idk just asking

It started when you didn’t hang out as much with him

You’d make up excuses, ignore, or even give small lies

But he didn’t really take it in any way other than it was you having a hard time with school and stress

So he let you distance yourself

But when you started getting further, and started purposely giving out of the box reasons to not be around him

His gut started to churn

So each day he’d tried to get some way to get your attention

Monday

“Hey dumbass, let’s cook breakfast for the rest of the idiots today, just you and me.”

But when he went to get you up you just turned the other way. He rolled his eyes, a small smile making its way onto his face. The ash-blonde propped a knee up onto the edge of your bed, his hands caging you between them. Yet you barely reacted and instead you mumbled “Go away Bakugo, aren’t you supposed to cook with someone else today?” A hurt expression washed over his face in an instant, though he just thought it was just you being groggy. He started tickling you, a devilish smirk on his features, but you suddenly push his face back forcefully.

“I said get the hell out Bakugo! If it was you you’d be fuming when I try to wake you up so just go!”

You pulled the cover back up, and that was it. It hurt Bakugo even more when you didn’t even look back. But he just snarled and pent it up.

Breakfast didn’t taste as good as usual.

Tuesday

You were laughing with Todoroki when Bakugo entered the classroom. And he already didn’t like it as soon as he saw your hand on his shoulder, your leg brushed up against him. He immediately went over and snatched you back into his chest. You scoff “Bakugo- The hell?” You smack his hand off of you. You glare at him before nodding to Todoroki, not sparing Bakugo a glance as you walked back to your seat, starting conversation with Jirou as if that didn’t just happen. Bakugo stared wide eyed at your back then to a smirking Todoroki. He stood frozen. “Just lay off my s/o half n’ half.” He mumbleds as he went to his seat. ‘Was I....was I the wrong one?’ Bakugo jerked his head to the side to get rid of the thought. ‘Like hell I’m wrong.’

But he felt a pit in his stomach remembering your hand on Todoroki’s shoulder.

Wednesday

Bakugo wanted to take you hiking with him since you guys had been doing what you’ve wanted to do for the past few months.

But he didn’t expect you to be so upset.

“Really Bakugo? We always have to do some lame shit when you want to go somewhere, do you really like hiking anyway?”

He furrowed his eyebrows in annoyed confusion because you even asked that question.

“No shit, I’ve told you how many times I go hiking, do you not fucking listen? Last time I checked you ain’t deaf, so I thought you’d know by now.”

You quirked your brow up and rolled your eyes, walking off. Bakugo grabs your arm dragging you back, your faces so close your noses are touching.

“The fuck is your problem today? For the past few days you been bitching off, the hell is up with-“

“You, you’re my problem.”

And you pushed him back, opening your phone as you started to text someone and turn the corner in the hall.

Bakugo didn’t want to acknowledge the tears that streamed down his face as he walked to his dorm.

Thursday

Bakugo won the challenge in today’s lesson overall, yet he couldn’t help but look over and see your eyes on Todoroki the whole time. Even when he pushed himself, blew the biggest explosions, even won the damn thing. He couldn’t even get an ounce of his own s/o’s attention.

Bakugou huffs as he stormed to where and Todoroki were. He wrapped a arm around your waist. But he didn’t pay attention on the unimpressed expression on your face. But he did hear when you called back to Todoroki, “You did your best out there! See you tomorrow!”

And just like that you got of his arms and walked back to the locker rooms. But he grabbed your hand pulling you back almost instantaneously. “The fuck? You’re not gonna say anything to me? Is this a fucking joke?” A perplexed and pained expression on his face. But he was tempted to really do something when you sighed and started to walk off. “Yeah good job Bakugo, not like you need a boost in your ego though.”

For some reason hanging out with Kirishima at the arcade was the most amount of happiness Bakugo has had all week.

But as soon as he got back to the dorms the same depressing feeling washed over him.

Friday

“But why? Why don’t you love me anymore damn it!”

It was raining hard, the droplets kept mixing with the harsh rain as you both stood over the now soiled picnic food. He tried, he tried everything to get you to listen to him. But now you both just stood silently in the rain.

“I’m sorry Bakugo...it’s just I’m not really interested anymore. It not like I hate you or anything-“

“BULLSHIT!”

Bakugo was seething, rain starting to evaporate on his hands as they flared up.

“This past week...no,fuck, MONTH! You just cast me to the side like I’m a piece of fucking scum! I try...I try so fucking hard, and I’ve never even been in a damn relationship before! So I know I’m not perfect, I FUCKING KNOW. I KNOW I’m not like a prince like fucking half n half, but damn don’t you see I’m trying to work it out? I haven’t felt this much for anyone before Y/N! WHY... WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG? FUCK Y/N I’LL EVEN CHANGE! JUST.. Bakugo went quiet as a sob wracked his body, leaving him speechless for a moment. His voice cracks, “..don’t leave me alone Y/N, I don’t want to feel alone again after all this time.”

Yet even after Bakugo crouched to the ground, head in hands. He hears a disappointed sigh, his head almost gets whiplash from how fast he shot his head up. You looked at him with cold eyes and looked down at him with no interest.

“Listen Bakugo, I tried being nice about it but, I don’t love you anymore. I thought you were stronger than this, I guess not. What a shame. You brought me out here to say all of that? I’m cold, and I’m heading back to the dorms, but I did clean up the picnic during your tantrum. Sorry, Bakugo.”

Yet the apology was so cold it just felt like blurred lines of sentences came from your mouth to him. The rain drowning out any emotions other than the hurt and pain his heart felt. Bakugo sat in the muddy grass, his eyes blown as he reached pitifully at your form trudging farther and farther through the mud.

Aftermath

He just wasn’t the same.

Bakugo was even more aggressive but most times he’d take it out on the people that got too close to him.

But when he’s not angry, he’s just silent

Dozing off the all of a sudden at random times in class you’d look over to see his desk charred and he doesn’t even realize it

He’d had constant stress from the piling work on his desk as he sat in bed and stared at it with no motivation

Even though he got back on track, and a bit better, it still gnawed at the back of his head everyday of what he should’ve done instead what he did

During Hero Training when he’d hear you cheer for Todoroki, he knew he was never going to get a sincere apology

He knew he was never going to hear you cheer like you cheered Todoroki on

He knew he was never going to get the attention he wanted when he saw your arms linked with your group of friends during graduation as you walked off.

He knew he was going to never fill the void he thought he long forgot even after how many years of highschool he graduated, and how many years of hero work

Nothing and no one could make him feel the way you used to.

He noticed when you leaned out of his touch

Or the small unimpressed looks you’d have when you guys would kiss

And when he would ask you’d wave it off like it was nothing

Even when you surprisingly pushed him off of you as the class was doing movie nights, sitting with space in between

Midoriya noticed every single little thing

Yet when he confronted you about it you waved it off again and left before he could even ask you anything more

So, he decided to do a few things for you just in case he did something wrong and wanted to make it up

Monday

He placed a small gift on your desk. It was a small cat-version of all might in a box. At first you smiled, but then checked the signed name tag, he nearly screamed when you scoffed at it and just tossed it into your bag. He felt his heart clench but payed it no mind. He planned the right time to come in and walked right over to you.

“H-Hey Y/N! Did you like the little gift I bought?”

He could see the clearly fake smile on your face when you nod you head, but quickly dismiss him as you see Kirishima enter the room and walking over to him. Excitedly greeting him. Like he just gave you the gift instead.

Midoriya whimpered and gripped his bag straps. Ignoring how his stomach felt like it flipped.

Tuesday

Midoriya’s almost broke down when he went in to hug you in front of Kirishima and instead you went over and gave the redhead a ‘friendly’ hug.

“Hey Y/N! Are you and Midoryia busy or something?”You shook your head and went on in conversation, blatantly ignoring Midoryia, making him kind of want to throw up lunch. He frowned because, didn’t you guys plan something? Why did you lie?

The only person who actually paid attention was Bakugo, and even he felt a little bad. So he grabbed Kirishima’s collar and pulled Kirishima with him, locking eyes with Midoryia with an unknown expression. Then rolling his eyes and looking off. But Midoryia knew for sure he owed him a favor. He tried grabbing your hand but you pulled away.

“Sorry Izu, I uh...I have to go out for a bit.”

“But weren’t we going to go to the cafe today?”

“I know Izuku but...my friend texted me and there was a change in plans. I’ll see you later though!”

Yet he didn’t see you for the entire evening. He wrote down your conversation in a notebook. Analyzing what he could’ve said wrong. He didn’t even realize frustrated tears smearing the words.

Wednesday

People started to notice the nervous tics Midoryia did when you’d start talking to Kirishima.

“Are you okay Midoryia? Your hand is bleeding. Do you need to head to the nurse?”

“Ah! I-it’s okay Todoroki! It’s nothing, really!”

He didn’t want to leave the room right now, especially with the weird feeiling in his gut when he saw you lean in a little too close to Kirishima made his hand feel numb.

Thursday

Midoriya noticed your small lingering touches and stares on Kirishima during training. He even noticed you were quieter when cheering for him than you were Kirishima.

He noticed you smiled more at his jokes than his

He noted you suddenly liked the things you said you always hated when Kirishima said was into it.

And he kept in mind that evening you barely looked his way. He frowned at the thought and decided to walk over to you. But instead he wanted bawl his eyes out when you made eye contact, and instead of greeting him you started walking forward with Kirishima.

Friday

“I can’t find a single note on what I did so wrong to make you hate me so much.”

You couldn’t even realize the boy in front of you. Blind rage all over his face, fists clenched, and shaking body. All because of you.

You honestly wanted to cry because you were so used to the loving looks he’d always give you to the cold and angry one he had on now. But you knew you didn’t deserve to feel this way. You knew what you did was wrong yet, you can’t get rid of the guilt washing over yourself as you finally locked eyes with him.

“I...I give you so much time and attention. Love...appreciation, patience. So much fucking patientce Y/N. Yet, yet you just throw it away.”

The dead grass crunched under his weight as his knees slightly buckled. The snot and tears now covering a majority of his face as he cried. His sobs sounding louder and louder in the silent evening. He bit his lip as he clenched the part of his shirt over his heart.

“It..it hurts so much, why, why don’t you love me like I love you?”

He clenched his teeth before repeatly beating the same spot on his chest. You looked in horror, then rushed over to get him to stop. He grabs you hand just as you were about to stop him.

He looks at you with such a broken gaze. Puffy eyes, and tears still streaming down his face as his scarred hand holds onto yours. Quivering lip and clenched fist.

“Was I just never enough?”

Your eyes started to fill with tears as you covered your mouth. Shaking your head repeatedly, as words couldn’t leave your mouth.

“I’ve written so many lines of the possibilities of what I could’ve said wrong. Or what I gave you. How I kissed you, how I touched you, Y/N, I-...”

“It’s not that you did anything Izuku! It’s just...I fell in love with someone else and I didn’t know how to end it.”

You looked down in guilt.

“Haha...my prediction was right. I was just never lived up to what you wanted.”

“Izuku I-“

“It’s getting late L/N, let’s go.”

It was a quiet walk back to the dorms.

Aftermath

He just kind of went airplane mode

He wasn’t the same mumble-awkward teen he usually was

But instead he’d mostly stare out the window

Or endlessly write notes

He became engrossed in his studies

Rarely going out, barely talking to anyone, and even not eating cause he felt like it would interrupt his studying

When out on his patrols he’ll try to save anyone and everyone he can by himself.

And when he fails it sends him into a complete spiral

It makes him feel the same way he did that day when you two separated

Like he didn’t do enough so it was all his fault that it ended in this way

Regular panic/anxiety attacks

Bakugo actually leaving him alone and instead checking up on him and making sure he eats (forcibly)

Todoroki, Uraraka, and Iida routinely make sure he was actually going to sleep on time, or getting any at all

It did take him a while to actually get over it

And it totally affected how he looked at future relationships

When he does get with someone everytime he just suffocates them with attention, gifts, and anything he feels he isn’t doing right he’ll do it 110%

So a majority of his early adulthood he spent single- or in short-term relationships

Eventually he stayed single for awhile since he’d always compare them to you

Though he does have days where wish it was different

Wishes it was you next to him when he woke up

Wishes that you would hold his hand when he has a bad day at work

But when he has the bad days where the anxiety, hero work, and pressure gets to him.

He just thinks of the way you used to smile at him.

Eyyy so it was originally gonna be 3 but I realized I made it a little too long. I basically had really shit wifi so that was a part of the small hiatus. But also I was originally gonna be MHA boyos x Twitch Streamer Reader. Buuut Tumblr was cracked and deleted it so. 🧍Also do you want a part 2? Cause if not I’ll make my first fluff HCS for Valentine’s. Requests are open! So go wild

210 notes · View notes

eelistolvanen · 3 years

Text

Bruises that you left behind - Travis Konecny Pt.3

A/N: So since we’ve almost reached 100 notes on Part 2, I finally got the motivation to finish the next part. So thanks to everyone who liked, reblogged or commented! Let me know if you like it! Part 4 is in the works but I’d greatly appreciate some feedback :)

So here it is, there will finally be some Travis x reader interactions, so buckle up folks ;)

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of suspected cheating, no proofread (as usual)

You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

_____________________________

You were nursing the worst hangover you’ve ever had the morning after. You’d already drunk enough at the party, but after Kevin had left, once he brought you home, you’d downed a entire bottle of red wine in self pity. You weren’t really sure anymore what triggered your episode. You wanted to blame your outburst against Travis on the alcohol, but deep down you knew there was another reason, the alcohol just aided it. After all this time you were still hurt. You’d never really gotten over it.

Getting out of bed proved to be a real struggle. But after half an hour you were sitting at your kitchen island trying to eat some breakfast. The pounding headache had gotten a bit better after taking some painkillers, but was still noticeable.

For a quick moment you though the ringing in your ears reappeared, then you realised that someone had actually rang your doorbell. You could already imagine who was standing behind the door as you approached it. Not entirely ready to face one of his lectures, but you couldn’t really avoid it.

“Damn, you look a lot worse than I expected you to.” This was all you were greeted with as Nolan moved past you into your apartment.

“It’s nice to see you too, Nols.” You scoffed sarcastically.

He sat down at the kitchen island and waited for you to join him. Both of you stayed silent as Nolan let his gaze wander over the mess in your kitchen. Surprisingly, he didn’t comment on it, a quick headshake was all that you got.

“I know Haysey already told you that we didn’t know that he would show, but I just needed to tell you myself. We really didn’t know. He wasn’t even invited and I have no idea why he thought he needed to make an appearance. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You knew that he felt bad, just like Kevin. But it wasn’t their fault. And as much as you wished not to have to see him, you also knew that there always was a chance that you’d crossed paths somewhere.

“It’s fine, Nols. I’m not mad and you did nothing wrong, so no need to apologize. It should probably be me apologizing, after all I’m the one who called his girlfriend a puckbunny, so… “

Nolan chuckled at your words. “I’m pretty sure they’re not dating, so don’t be sorry. I mean, I thought it seemed to be very fitting for her but anyway… Let’s forget about that.”

You gladly accepted. The two of you hung out for another hour or so, before Nolan decided that he probably shut head over to Kelsey’s.

Sometime in the afternoon Kevin texted you and asked if you wanted to hang out in the evening. You agreed to it even though you knew that Kevin would bring up the whole Travis thing as well.

It did take Kevin surprisingly long til he brought Travis up though. And you knew that this conversation was about to come.

“He called me today.” Kevin didn’t have to name any names for you to know he was talking about him. “And he asked about you.”

You waited for him to keep going but he stayed silent.

“So?” Kevin exhaled loudly and made eye contact with you. “I just thought you wanted to know…”

“Do I?” You couldn’t stop your voice from being laced with poison. You were being rude and you knew it. Kevin never asked to be dragged into this.

“Ahh, I don’t know Y/N. Come on, I’m trying here. Well anyway, he wanted to know about you. What you were doing at the party. Why we went together. Why you’re in Philly.”

You felt irritated. Why on earth would he care. He felt. He had no right to ask Kevin about you.

“So you told him, huh?” You were being unfair, you knew you had to stop acting like a bitch towards Kev, but God you couldn’t help it.

“ No, Y/N! I didn’t. I didn’t tell him anything because I didn’t want you to get hurt-“

“You also told him that he wouldn’t show to the party.” That was low, even for you.

“For fucks sake, Y/N! He wasn’t invited, he wasn’t supposed to show up, okay? I get it, you never wanted to see him again but it’s to late now. Just don’t take your anger out on me, I did nothing wrong.”

You deserved to be called out like this. He was right after all, you had taken it out on him. And Nolan. And neither of them did anything wrong.

“So what do I do now? I mean this is the exact reason why I left that life behind. Because even though you’re my family, it also means that everything I tried to avoid is catching up to me. And I don’t know how to handle that, Kev.”

“But you can’t run away anymore, Y/N. You have to face it. And maybe talking to him would do you good. You know, talking like adults. Civilized.” He meant well but you still felt like he was accusing you.

“Civilized? So I don’t know how to talk civilized?” There was disbelief in your voice. Was he serious?

“No, you do… It’s just that swearing at him and calling him names won’t get you anywhere. That’s all I’m saying.” He was right but you still hated to hear it. There was so much pent up emotion inside you, you had to get rid of it somehow.

“I know what you mean Kev. But I can’t just forgive him…”

“And I’m not asking you to. But I know that you want to know the reason and you won’t get an answer unless you talk to him. An I know he wants to talk to you…”

He was speaking softly, quietly asking you to speak to Travis. You were walking a fine line, you knew that. But you were also painfully aware of the fact that you wouldn’t get any better unless you started to face this. Face him. And your feelings towards him.

----------------

Every turn Kevin made, made you feel more nauseous. The closer you got to him the more you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t know if I can do this Kev.” Your voice felt weak, barely above a whisper.

Kevin quickly glanced over to you in the passenger seat. A worried look flashed over his face.

“Yes you can, Y/N. At least try okay? You agreed to meet him and if it gets to much, I’m gonna be waiting in the car, okay? And I’ll keep an eye on you.”

You felt yourself relax slightly. You were still nervous but knowing that Kevin was close by, put you slightly at ease. You had to do this. For you.

Kevin parked the car in a parking space beside the sidewalk, only meters from the entrance to the park. You hadn’t been here in a while. You hadn’t been here many times anyway. A couple of times with Travis, when you were walking the dogs. It wasn’t your usual spot, which was exactly the reason why you choose it. It didn’t hold any particular memories that could hurt you. You barely even remembered what this park looked like. Kevin pulled you out of your thoughts as he put his hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N. You can do this. And I’m here, okay?” You could feel him squeeze your shoulder as you slowly nodded and got out of the car.

You saw him as soon as you walked through the entrance of the park. He had his back to you and you couldn’t see his face but you would always recognize his silhouette. You felt your heart get heavy. You started to walk towards him, fighting all the urges to turn around and run away from him as fast as you could. He hadn’t noticed you, so you could still pull out. But once you got within a 10 feet he must have heard your footsteps. He wiped around quickly and you were left wondering how this movement didn’t give him whiplash.

“Y/N. You came.” His voice was quiet and he send you a quick smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though, they were filled with sorrow. His sad smile made your heart ache.

You looked at him. For the first time in almost 2.5 years you really looked at him. You almost felt yourself taken aback at the dark rings underneath his eyes. He looked tired, exhausted even and completely worn out. In a way he looked almost the same than he used to. But in some way he also looked like a completely different person. The radiance, the light that he used to give off seemingly had vanished. His bubbliness seemed to have made space for something darker. He looked hollow, almost as if the Travis standing in front of you was a ghost of the man he used to be. To a stranger he probably would have looked completely normal. Physically he hadn’t really changed that much, but all those little things that made Travis Travis weren’t there anymore.

He had noticed your shocked expression as well as you gave him a one over.

“I look like shit, huh?” He was trying to lighten the mood, but if anything it made it worse.

“No no, you just look… different.” You knew he didn’t buy your lie, but you didn’t feel like pity him so you did what you did so well. Turn defensive.

“So your girlfriend let you go and talk to me?” Travis scoffed at your words.

“She’s not my girlfriend. And you don’t have to worry about her, you won’t see her around again.”

“I still shouldn’t have called her a puckbunny. That was low.” You genuinely felt sorry about it. Even if she was one of those girls, calling her out in front of the entire team wasn’t your proudest moment.

Travis chuckled slightly. “Nah, it’s fine.” His expression turned serious again, almost sour. “You and Hayesy, huh?”

At first you didn’t even understand what he meant. It took you a moment to regain your composure.

“What? No, we’re friends. Same as we’ve always been. Nothing more.”

At first he looked sceptical but slowly he seemed to relax. Which then sparked anger inside of you.

“It shouldn’t really be any of your concern though, I mean what do you care? You left me.”

Your emotions were bubbling inside of you. And as hard as you tried tears were scarily close to spill as you tried to choke back your pain.

He groaned loudly. “I know. I fucked up. I made a mistake. And I’m so sorry for doing this to you, Y/N.”

This was too much for you. You couldn’t hold back your emotions anymore. Tears were rolling down your cheeks.

“You just left and I’ve never heard of you since. Not even a single word. Nothing.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. I reached out to you. Afterwards. But it was too late. When I came back to our house the first time after that day, you were gone. Every trace of you had vanished. An I tried to call, but I could never get through to you. And eventually I had to accept that I lost you.”

“Don’t put this on me! What did you expect Travis? That I’d wait around in our house hoping that maybe one day you’d return? That maybe it was all just some sick joke? You left me standing on our wedding day and you don’t get to blame me for trying to pick myself up again and start fresh.”

He stayed silent for a while. The guilt seemed to consume him. He abandoned the most important thing in his life and he knew that you had every right to hate him. He had no right to ask you for forgiveness and he knew that. But that didn’t meant that he wouldn’t at least try to mend the things he broke. You could hear him inhale sharply.

“I know that I hurt you. I fucked up, big time. And I’m painfully aware of it.” Even a complete stranger would have been able to identify the pained expression on Travis’ face. He was being completely honest with you. Not that it mattered though.

“Yeah, you did. You broke me Travis, you realise that, right?” He felt like someone shot a dagger through his heart. He knew he hurt you. Badly. But hearing you say it made it real. He would never be able to forgive himself. And you wouldn’t either, Travis was sure of that.

“I know Y/N, just tell me what I can do to make it better. Please, Y/N! I want to fix this. Fix us.”

He had tears in his eyes. You could see that he wanted to touch you, hug you, comfort you but he also knew that it wasn’t his place to do so anymore. It killed you to see him like that. So broken. How ironic. Both of you broken beyond repair.

“You can’t, Travis. This isn’t something you can fix.” You paused, thinking over your next words.

“You know I wish there was a evident reason, one that I knew back then. That you had some mistress, stopped loving me or something. But… I thought everything was fine. I thought we were great. I had no indication that something went wrong between us and I think this is why it hurts so much. One day everything seemed great and the next… everything was completely shattered.”

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes. Quickly you turned around. You couldn’t do this. Standing across from him, talking to him, hearing his voice. All it did was remind you of the pain he put you through.

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He tried to reach out to you, catch your arms but you slipped out of his grip before he could get any closer. “Y/N!” But his pleads fell onto deaf ears. You’d already turned your back to him and were walking away as you heard him speak up again. It was quiet but you could hear it clear as day.

“I still love you Y/N! You have to know that. And I will never stop loving you, even if you hate me now.”

A quiet sob escaped your lips. This is why you wanted to stay as far away from his as possible. Nobody was able to hurt you like he did, even if he didn’t intent to. So you kept on walking.

When Travis left the park he caught a glimpse of you, sitting in Kevin’s car, seemingly hugging him. And although he knew that you had been honest with him when he asked you about Kevin, he couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous that someone else was the one comforting you now, when it used to be him who held you when you felt like you were falling apart. Jealous that someone else got to go to a Halloween party with you and dress up in stupid costumes. Jealous that someone else got to see you smile now.

Because this should have been him.

-----------

You were sitting on Nolan’s couch, trying to figure out how your life slipped from you, when you thought you had everything. You tried not to think back to that day, but every time you thought about Travis the memories just kept resurfacing. You couldn’t get his face off your mind, it almost seemed like his image had burned itself into your memory.

Someone ringing the doorbell ripped you from your thoughts.

“Are you expecting anyone?” He didn’t answer, he just gave you a quick headshake before making his way to the door. You didn’t want to eavesdrop but your curiosity took over. You felt yourself freeze as you recognized the voice at the door.

“I need to talk to you, Pat.” There was urgency in his voice, he sounded almost desperate.

You could Nolan calmly reply: “Now is not a good time, Travis.”

“But it’s important. Please.” It really must have been important, considering that Travis didn’t usually begged for someone’s attention like that.

“I.. I can’t, Teeks, I’m busy.“ You couldn’t see Nolan’s face but you could sense the uneasiness in his voice. And of course Travis had picked up on it to.

“You’re busy?... She’s here, isn’t she?” You couldn’t hear Nolan’s answer but the commotion coming from the hallway pretty much gave away that Travis knew that you were here. You could hear Nolan and Travis speaking over each other and moments later you could hear footsteps coming down the Hall. You could hear Nolan telling Travis that he needed to leave.

“I have to talk to her.” With that he appeared in the living room. “Y/N.” It was more breathed over his lips than actually spoken and it instantly send shivers down your spine.

“What are you doing here Travis?” You felt so little, sitting curled up on Nolan’s couch while he was standing in the entry of the living room.

“Can we talk? Again?” He seemed surprisingly calm. He was wearing a snapback and that yellow hoodie that you used to love so much. He used to radiate almost as much brightness as his hoodie, but now he constantly seemed as if someone dimmed his light. He looked tired, just as the other day.

“We have talked.” You tired to be as cold as possible, trying to shield you from the emotions that were rising inside of you.

“Yeah, and you ran away.” You sucked in air, trying to interject before he spoke up again but you came up empty.

“Please Y/N. And if you feel like it’s too much or you want me to leave I’ll leave, just let me at least try to explain.”

You wouldn’t get rid off him that quickly, so you took a deep breath before nodding.

You led him out of the living room towards Nolan’s bedroom. As much as you wanted Nolan by your side you knew that you needed to have this conversation in private.

Once the door was closed you looked at Travis expectantly. He seemed to be fighting for words.

“So? You wanted to talk. So talk.” You were being cold but you didn’t feel like standing in a room with Travis while the both off you stared at each other in silence. As if there wasn’t already enough tension between the two of you when you spoke.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I-“ You interrupted him. Was he really doing this again?

“Yeah, you already said that.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“And I mean it. And you need to know that. I know that I hurt you. Badly. And there’s nothing that I regret more than walking away that day. I made a mistake and I ruined my life with it. And there’s not a day in my life where I don’t wish I could undo what I’ve done.”

“Well, you can’t Travis! Did they tell you that I tried to come after you? That I tried to track you down? Tried to find you and change your mind? Only to find out that you had packed a bag and already left the country? And then you flew to..”

Your voice broke, your eyes were teary and you felt like you could barely breathe. The guilt on his face made you feel nauseous.

“Why?! Why Travis, just tell me why you did it?” You sounded raspy, you barely recognized your own voice.

“You know why, Y/N.” “No, I don’t! You never bothered to tell me. YOU JUST LEFT, without a word!”

He took a step back in surprise, certainly not expecting this outburst from you.

“You read the letter, I didn’t know how to tell you in person.”

A humourless laugh came from your lips.

“I never read the letter. I burned it.” Your entire body was trembling now. You weren’t sure why though. Maybe you were nervous, anxious even or maybe it was the anger inside of you.

“You.. burned… the letter.” He was in such shock at your words he nearly seemed to swallow his own tongue. He stood frozen, unable to move even a single muscle. This was the last thing he expected you to admit to him.

“I just… I don’t get it, Travis! What have I ever done to you to deserve this? What did I do to you to have a reason to leave me standing at the altar?” Your voice softened, ”What happened, Trav?”

He looked like a fish out of water. He was still fighting for words, closing and opening his mouth. If you weren’t so hurt and angry you could have laughed at his expressions.

“I.. I don’t know Y/N. I just couldn’t do it.”

Anger started to rise up in your chest. God, you wanted to punch him. He’d always been a bad liar, you could smell his lies miles away.

“That’s bullshit Travis! We both know that, so stop lying to my face. You know how much I hate lying. You were able to write it in a letter but you can’t say it to my face?!” You tried to calm yourself. Take some deep breaths and steady your breathing. To no luck. Even Travis could see your trembling hands. You let out a shaky breath and kept going: “Was there someone else? Is that it?”

Your jaw clenches at that thought, you really didn’t think that Travis would ever cheat but who knows. You also didn’t think he would leave you on your wedding day but here you where. Apparently you didn’t knew him as well as you thought you did. He seemed absolutely frozen for a moment, too shocked at your accusation to answer. But his hesitation was leaving a bitter taste in your mouth.

“No, Y/N! That’s not the reason-” “So what is it then? God Travis, just tell me. What on earth could have possibly been a reason to break off our engagement? Our relationship. Years spent together and without a warning you left.” You felt yourself starting to crack, a lump started to form in your throat and you knew that you would break soon enough. “ Did you just suddenly, one day to the next, stop loving me? Did you fall out of love? Was I just not good enough for you? What happened, Travis? Why did you leave me?” You weren’t even gonna try to hold back the tears streaming down your face. You just let them all out, sobs racked your body. The anger had left your body now and made way for the endless pain you felt when thinking about that day. You completely broke down in front of him

“Y/N…”

He knew that there was nothing he could say that would ease your pain. The damage was already done. You could feel Travis trying to reach out to you, but you pushed him away. You couldn’t see the expression on him face but if you did, you’d seen the agony that mirrored yours. When you let out a sorrowful quiet cry, he couldn’t compose himself anymore. He couldn’t watch you being in this much pain. He’d never hated himself more than in this moment. He knew that he was the reason for all this pain. So he fled the room.

Nolan stormed into the room only seconds later. Wrapping his body around his, as if he was trying to keep all the broken pieces together. And for what felt like eternity he just held you like that, at least you knew that he wasn’t going to let go of you.

“I think there was someone else, Nolan.” You broke the silence first, knowing that Nolan would give you as much time as you needed. The confused look Nolan gave you now, told you that he wasn’t exactly following what you were saying.

“That’s why he left. There was someone else. That-“ Nolan interrupted you before you could get another word out.

“This can’t be. Someone would have known. He would have told someone by now. I mean, did he admit that there was someone else?”

“Not technically, but he kinda hesitated when I brought it up. And he also didn’t actively deny it, so..”

Your voice started to cut out and you could feel the lump in your throat form. You were so sure of it now that you thought about it. His hesitation, the way he deflected the question. This had to be the reason. There was nothing else that could have been the reason.

“There was someone else, I just know it.”

Part 4

#travis konecny #travis konecny imagine #travis konecny x reader #travis konency fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #My writing

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chironshorseass · 3 years

Note

I u want, could u mayhaps write about annabeth seeing percy after a long time apart and realizing his voice grew deeper? I saw a post about it once and I think u would nail it perfectly<3

TIME PASSES SO QUICKLY AHH but here it is! I also got another request of pre-relationship percabeth and let’s just say that y’all read my mind. Also sorry that I can’t seem to write anything under 1k words 😩

read on ao3

“So I heard Percy’s coming today,” Silena said casually, holding a basket against her hip.

Annabeth yanked one of the strawberries so hard that its leaves came along with it.

“He is?”

She didn’t try to shroud her excitement like she would’ve done, not too long ago.

“Yeah. Charlie told me.”

She felt a twinge of jealousy that Percy hadn’t even mentioned it to her, but she quickly clamped it down. It wasn’t his fault. Not entirely, anyway. They’d IM’d at the beginning of their semester as freshmen, but then it had gotten to the point of him mentioning Rachel all the time, and then the year had gotten busier, and…

Well, they’d lost contact.

Realizing she’d zoned out, she blinked away the fog from her eyes.

“But honestly I wasn’t supposed to tell,” Silena was saying. “He said something about it being a surprise or whatever. I just wanted to see your reaction.”

Annabeth must’ve been doing something strange with her face, because Silena gave her a smug look, raising her eyebrows. She was used to her doing that, so she didn’t mind.

Well, maybe a bit.

But the daughter of Aphrodite already knew everything there was to know about her feelings for Percy. Probably before even Annabeth first realized that she was in love with her best friend. So again, it was pointless to hide from her.

“So.” Silena bumped her gently on the shoulder. “What are you gonna wear?”

Annabeth lifted her sun hat and stared at her for a couple of seconds. The latter looked as perfect as ever, despite the grueling sun. With her pink crop top, mini shorts, perfect makeup, and her dark hair pulled back into a low bun, Annabeth had little doubt that she could help her choose a different outfit other than her torn camp wardrobe. But, still, this was Percy.

Her best friend.

“Mmm...no, it’s fine. We’ve got to finish the south side of the strawberry fields, so, we can’t lose time, ya know?”

Silena gaped at her, then scoffed.

“What am I going to do with you, Chase?” she muttered, crouching to the ground again and shoving her hands into the foliage. “But whatever—it’s your call. Like, you’re so pretty that you actually look good in that sorry excuse of an outfit.”

Her eyes roved over Annabeth’s shirt and jeans. She felt herself blush at the attention.

“Hey, is that blood?”

“Uh...Maybe—but it’s old! Don’t worry.”

“A lost cause, I tell you.”

It had been too long since she’d caught a glimpse of that tell-tale curve of the shoulders and those raven curls.

Percy was early. Most of the summer campers always came the next week or so from this one, but she wasn’t complaining about his untimely arrival. Not when he looked that cute in his school uniform and with that ridiculously messy hair.

She regarded him from afar as he chatted with Beckendorf by the Big House porch, a bag slumped over his shoulder. Something about him—in the way he laughed or how he suddenly looked taller—made her stomach drop like a volleyball, made every blade of grass seem brighter.

Running up to him, she yelled, “Hey, stranger! Why so early?”

He turned to the sound of her voice, flashing her that crooked grin of his. Gods, she’d missed him.

“Hey yourself!”

When she finally reached the two boys, she skidded to a halt in front of Percy and gave him an exaggerated once-over.

“Why’d you still have your uniform on, Seaweed Brain?”

“Do I?” he gazed down at his white shirt and gray pants. His eyes flicked to her again, smiling sheepishly. “Oh. Kinda forgot I had it on, I guess.”

“Man, I’ve already told you,” Beckendorf said. “Leave the fancy shit home.”

“I forgot, okay? You know I hate this stupid uniform.”

In her honest opinion, the uniform seemed to be quite the opposite of stupid. Really, it should've been a crime to look that good in white and rolled up sleeves.

“Yeah, whatever.” Beckendorf glanced back and forth from Percy to Annabeth. He smirked and patted Percy on the back. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”

She watched him stroll to the Big House and step inside. He’d probably been here—with Percy—in the first place because of a favor from Chiron.

They stood there, letting the silence build up.

His eyes were warm, green like the shallow sea. Annabeth had always thought that she’d get used to that color, that luminescence. But she never did. Every time she peered up at them, it felt like the first time all over again. She could drown in those eyes and beam up at the fading sky and not beg for breath.

But now, it was worse. It was worse because she could tell that he’d grown. Actually grown. She didn’t quite know how to feel about the fact that his voice had abruptly dropped at least an octave lower than from last summer and that from now on, she’d have to lift her chin to meet his eyes.

“You’ve changed,” she blurted out.

She probably winced a little. Hopefully, she’d sounded casual.

“In what way, exactly?” His mouth twitched into a grin, cheeks dimpling, and her nervousness faded to a quiet buzzing. “That I’m finally taller than you?”

She pushed him away lightly to cover up the flush that was surely painting her cheeks a light pink. This was stupid. He was just being stupid. It was just Percy, for gods’ sake.

“Yeah, taller than me by like, an inch.”

“Admit it, you’re jealous.”

“I hate you.”

That was a lie, and Percy knew it.

“No, you don’t.”

“How am I supposed to keep things out of your reach, now?”

“See, that’s the point. Now I get to pick on you. Shortie.”

Annabeth stuck her tongue out. “You’re such a child.”

He laughed again, giving her whiplash from how different the sound rang in her ears. His laughter had always been a comfort to her, something that made her chest warm and gave her the motivation to try and let it out of him, again and again.

And it still was.

But this new laugh, however, had a richness to it that she felt down to her toes. He threw his head back, eyes crinkling like they always did. And yet, she found new angles to it. Saw a strange glow. He stood under the spotlight of a brand new theater, making everything he did seem like something new and foreign.

It dawned on her that she was staring like an idiot, even after Percy’s smile had faded to a lingering tug of the mouth.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, plain and honest. In many ways, he hadn’t changed. Not really.

“Me too.” Their eyes stayed interlocked for a couple more seconds. She cleared her throat. “Have you, uh...told Chiron you’re here?”

“He already knows.”

“Psh. So am I the only one that didn’t know about you coming here?”

She didn’t mean to sound so accusatory, but there was no backing out, now.

He ducked his head. It was barely recognizable, but she could always tell when he was blushing.

“I...well, you know, wanted to, um—surprise you.”

Another awkward pause.

Percy scratched the back of her head. “Do you, uh...wanna walk with me? To my cabin?”

“Sure.”

“You know,” he said. “My mom made you cookies.”

“Are they any good?” she teased.

He turned to give her an incredulous look. “This is my mom we’re talking about. Of course they’re good.”

“Okay...well, what are you waiting for? Hand them over, Seaweed Brain.”

“In a sec. I’m too lazy to open my bag right now, in the middle of camp.”

As they walked, Annabeth noticed how heads turned when the campers got a good look at the two of them together. Most of them just stared at Percy. They passed by some of her siblings carrying spears; she saw Malcolm wink and felt herself blush again.

“Anyway, you wouldn’t have guessed what I got on my finals,” Percy was saying.

She glared pointedly at Malcolm, then whirled her head to look at Percy again. “What’d you get?”

“Guess.”

“Oh my gods, Percy. Just tell.”

He smiled and gave her a sideways glance. “You’re no fun.”

But even if he said it casually, the comment dug deeper than she would’ve liked. Did he think Rachel was fun? She decided not to dwell on that.

Annabeth was the one talking to him. Not Rachel.

He glanced at her once, but seemingly decided to fix his gaze forward. His eyes sparkled in a way that she knew meant he was trying to hold back a grin. He’d failed in the attempt, though.

“Okay, I’ll just say it: A ‘B’ plus.”

Her jaw dropped. “Percy!”

“Yeah,” he laughed.

“Oh my gods!”

Clarisse, standing by the Ares cabin, mimed Annabeth, mouthing her words and making kissy faces. She mostly ignored it, too distracted on what Percy had just said.

Her heart swelled at the thought of all the work he must’ve put himself through.

She grasped his arm. “I’m so proud of you, Perce.”

“Yeah, me too. Paul helped, though. And mom.”

“Give yourself some of the credit.”

He sighed happily. “I guess I can say that I didn’t cheat. Well, maybe a little.”

She tried to shove him, but he danced away.

“Ohh, don’t tell me that you’ve never cheated on anything.”

“Okay.” She rolled her eyes. “Like maybe once or twice.”

“See?”

“But whatever. You got a ‘B’ and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah. It is.”

They smiled at each other for a second, then, he shouldered his bag and stopped by cabin three. The abalone shell seemed to glow brighter when he stood next to it.

Before she could stop herself, she said, “We should celebrate.”

He lifted one of those thick eyebrows of his and leaned back against the door frame. “What do you mean?”

“You know…” she kicked some of the stray pebbles from the ground, suddenly flustered. “Your grades. It deserves a celebration, don’t you think?”

His face lit up once more. “Oh! Yeah, like a picnic or something? We could eat the cookies Mom made—unless you want them for yourself, which is fine—”

“No!” She bit her lip. “I mean—sharing is cool. I’d like that.”

Annabeth decided it best not to visibly cringe at herself. Who’d even say “sharing” and “cool” at the same time?

Luckily, Percy nodded along with her. “Okay. Cool. Wait—that reminds me…” He unzipped his bag, hands already roaming around inside it. “Ah, here it is.”

He took a take-out like box with red flowers painted around the sides. They looked handmade. She accepted the gift with a smile.

“Who made these?” she asked, examining the paintings closer. “They’re pretty.”

When she saw his smug look, she didn't have to think twice about who had decorated it.

“I did,” he said. Her expression must’ve still been akin to impressed shock, because he chuckled. “What? You think I can’t be artistic?”

She shrugged. It was a simple fact, really. “Since when did you learn?”

“Uh, Rachel taught me.”

“Oh.”

He nodded tightly.

Right. While she’d lived on the other side of the country, alone and with a family who still wasn’t that comfortable around her, he’d been off with his new mortal girlfriend. And how much time must it have taken for Rachel to teach him how to do those precise brushstrokes? To combine those colors properly? Days or more, she knew.

They’d been busy.

She pretended not to care, anyway, opening the box to check on the cookies. “They, um...They look good!” She met his eyes so that he could see just how sincere her words were—because they really did look divine. Divine and blue. “Give Sally my thanks. And you must’ve worked really hard on this. So, thanks also.”

Annabeth noticed how he relaxed at the change of subject. Idiot.

“I will. And nah, it was nothing. I just really wanted to, um, to contribute with the gift. I guess. And mom loves you, so…”

“Loves me more than you?”

He snorted. “Probably.”

The edges of her mouth quirked up. “So...when are you up for that celebratory picnic thing?”

“Uh...from what I remember, I think my schedule’s got like, free time at around five. That sound good?”

Her mind buzzed through her list of daily activities, relieved to find something else to think about other than the awkwardness that now lingered in the air.

“Yeah, I think I’m free at five, as well. Tomorrow, right?”

“Sounds good to me.”

It wasn’t the same. That, she could tell.

She bit the inside of her cheek, watching him fight with Clarisse. So they’d go on a picnic together. Big deal.

She’d just barely stepped outside cabin three when Silena had dragged her away, begging for every detail.

Annabeth wasn’t going to lie: she was excited. More so than she’d let on. And yet, she wasn’t sure if he liked her that way.

Not with other girls fanning over him, now. Girls like Rachel.

How could she have let him go so easily? How was this the first time in months since she’d last seen him?

She’d spent the day pretending it was fine. Her heart ached whenever he was near, but it also hurt when he was gone. She couldn't have it both ways.

So yes, everything was fine.

Maybe if she said those words enough, then she'd start to believe it and stop with this feeble act of hers. This pretending that none of the shit they’d been festering against the other mattered. And in the process, also pretend that these new feelings she had for him—that didn’t feel so new—never existed in the first place.

Then again...what was she thinking?

This was her best friend. Her best friend whom she’d tried to kiss about a year ago and who hadn’t even breathed a word about it since. Who talked to her like he was stepping around eggshells. Who was clearly not interested in her in that way if what she suspected about Rachel was true and who had suddenly become one of the most attractive guys in Camp Half-Blood.

She hated this. This sensation of her heart beating faster, her breath coming short. Her brain fading any thought away, leaving it lustrous with the image of Percy. Percy this and Percy that. His stupid smile and his stupid laugh and—

Ice-cold water struck her skin, stopping her thought process short like a shock wave.

“Sorry,” Silena said, not actually sounding sorry. Stray water dripped from her hand. “You were spaced out for a while.”

Their canoe boat rocked back and forth along with the gusts of wind.

“Okay,” Annabeth said, glaring at her friend. She wanted to wipe that cheeky grin off her face. “Now you’re just asking for it.”

With a sharp, practiced tug, she flipped them over. Silena’s screech died when they hit the water.

She resurfaced, spluttering, splashing Annabeth again and again.

“You little shit! I am going to kill you!”

“What?” Annabeth laughed, choking on water. “I thought your makeup’s waterproof!”

Silena threw more water at her.

“Your point?”

And okay, maybe they looked like fools fighting in the middle of the lake, laughing and joking around. But it was fine; no one was there to witness it except perhaps the naiads and the cicadas that roared in the woods along with the rogue monster.

Well...there was one person.

But the girls didn’t have the mind to notice him.

Percy sat on the back of the pier and smiled, shaking his head.

Maybe someday, they could move on from this strange faze. From skipping around each other, then acting like friends all over again.

Someday.

The sound of the conch horn in the distance brought a reluctant stop to the chirping of the crickets. Dinner time.

He stood up and made his way back, wishing that just maybe, he could be brave enough to tell her how he felt. To unashamedly look at her and no one else as though she were the fading sun, inviting for the naked eye to gape at directly as it caressed the sea and the tree tops while coloring the sky a deep purple. To kiss her in front of all those stupid people and hug her and make her laugh and smile, all golden and beautiful.

Rid himself of the worries, once and for all.

But it couldn’t be.

Maybe, just maybe…

Someday.

#percabeth #percabeth fic #pjo fanfiction #pjo fic #annabeth chase #percy jackson #charles beckendorf #silena beauregard #anon #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #look mom i can write

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saintobio · 3 years

Note

I- ….I mean…

This how I be feeling after that chapter.

You are such an amazing writer I have to say. Like are you a magician?? The way you have my emotions flip flopping, hate emerging, then sadness, then happiness, then anger, then SADNESS. I’m about to get whiplash I swear.

Like damn I really want to hate Hoejo so bad. But that little whimpering, abandonment issues hoejo has me soft like WTF. 😭 then we she was like I won’t leave anyway… like I bet that tugged his heartstrings. Still. I’m more sad for y/n. Her suffering was so palpable this chapter. The loneliness. Feeling despondent. Ugh it gutted me. I’m glad we got a shimmer of happiness with Toji. Just like her I’ll take whatever crumbs I can get 🥺😭😭😭

Anonymous said

Okay first off I love how y/n finally stood up for herself that's amazing for her 🥺 but gojo can literally suck my ass 🖕but then I felt bad with the mom thing and then I remembered how he was thinking about fucking y/n while he was with sera so I got over it😌 and then the whole "you make it hard for me to hate you" bitch 😡😡 you make it hard for me to not want to claw out your motherfucking eye balls like bitch🤨 do you want to fight me. An when he had the audacity to be all clingy😑 just like Hayley Williams said " once a whore you're nothing more" . If he wants to make me happy he better eat her out till she's fucking crying 😫 and not because she's sad for once -🐚anon

Anonymous said

GOD CHAPTER 6 WAS SO GOOD. I LOVED COLD Y/N LIKE THE POOL SCENE WAS IMMACULATE. I LOVED IT SO MUCH SEEING GOJO KINDA ANGY THAT SHE WAS BEING THIS WAY! 😭 I love your writing sm 😞 it’s so good like I feel pain but it also makes me so happy yknow? :) THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A GOOD SERIES IM SO EXCITED ( but also scared ) FOR WHAT YOU HAVE FOR US NEXT! 💕:)

Anonymous said

Wow, chp 6 had so much yet so little happen! I can feel the foreboding brewing up! That being said, that convo between (No name) and Hoejo (what a manipulative switching ass he is) has only shown they’re not making it to the end, only to be each other’s downfall. Like Gojo said he could’ve cover her expenses if needed and completely defying his father (what a bad move 🥴) she still kept that from him, who knows what else she’s hiding and willing to do behind his back. The same for Gojo still being with Y/N (like dude, that’s your wife 🤨) acting as if he’s gonna be put to death if he doesn’t engage in normal marriage things… this chapter also has given me some faith in y/n’s path, while mistakes are gonna happen, she’s starting to set boundaries with Hoejo (which’s she shouldn’t at all), getting pieces of the puzzle together and learning a lot about herself. She just need better allies and more confidence in herself, that’ll scare the unholy, unwanted duo no one asked for. I feel Gojo will see she’s more than meets the eye and actually fall for her, only to realize it’s a little too late…. Good job babe! And take of yourself 🥺🤩🥰

Anonymous said

"i shouldn't have yelled at you and i shouldn't have blamed her." *GASP* IS THAT ACCOUNTABILITY I SEE? good job sera, you're learning 😊 but i will admit if i was sera i'd feel a lil hurt. still, she needs to understand mc's situation. like others have said before she and gojo are still very selfish.

"why did you hide hat my dad gave you ten million yen?" oop 🙊 we finally learned the truth. i felt like it wasn't for bad reason.

also i'm glad mc is being more defiant and cold with gojo. but she's still too nice 😭 i can't lie tho, i'm kinda like mc in that aspect. i just find it hard to be mean even if i'm treated like shit. so i understand mc on that level. also the moments with toji are so sweet 🥲 gojo's not gonna like this at all, i feel like he's gonna throw a fit 🤔

did gojo have a crush on mc when they were kids? at first i wanted gojo to find out mc is on birth control out of spite but now i'm like "fuck he's gonna be so mad 😭" i actually feel bad for taking it but he needs to be less of a bitch. i feel like he'll think reader is taking it so she could have sex with him and not because she wants him to be more genuine and loving.

Anonymous said

That scene with Gojo and Sera together made me sick 🤢. It was traumatizing. They look so good together that they should rot in hell.

Y/n is too kind and understanding 💗 Ms.Mam should just leave Gojo's sick ass. I am so proud of her when she started distancing herself from Gojo cuz YES! THAT'S RIGHT! IGNORE THAT MF. Whatever Gojo's playing is going to bite him in the ass hard someday.

Thankyouuuu for today's update 💗 Take care, aiii ❤️ Just don't push yourself too much😽.

(u don't have to respond cuz we understand 💗)

Anonymous said

nah cause what the PHAWK 😃 all gojo has is the mf audacity!!!! my resentment towards him is starting to grow more and more oh my lord 🥲

i’m glad mc is starting to get a grip but holy crap why does gojo feel like it’s necessary to make things SO hard for her 😐. like i get it mc may be the antagonist in his story but if he just took five, LITERALLY FIVE MINUTES of his day he would know better but no 🙃.

obviously everyone has some sort of fault in this but JEEZ gojo AND SERA wanna be the victims so bad. it dead ass feels like the two of them are trying to make a competition on who’s situation is more tragic. like newsflash buddy, the world doesn’t revolve around you ‼️

i think the only thing that made this chapter feel less angsty is definitely mc and toji interactions and i really hope there’s more bc now toji really is mc’s only escape from the hell she’s going through. although i don’t believe toji and mc will be endgame i still like to think about it here and there bc i love imagining how PISSED gojo would be 😌

anyway sorry for this long bit, I HOPE YOU’RE DOING WELL <3333

Anonymous said

so well written as always

ngl sometimes I don't insert myself as yn just cause obviously a random author isnt going to write them like my personality. like up until now I've had zero patience for gojo and his antics. like if u wanna be w her then go tf lemme be happy w whoever ugh. but this chapter YUP YUP YUP YN WAS THAT B. IT WAS GIVING ROMAN'S REVENGE NEVER LET EM PLAY U GIRL.

but yessss i like where this is going bestie ahhhh

Anonymous said

Why am I so like Y/N?!? All of my anger and hatred towards gojo suddenly disappears because of the microscopic crumbs of affection we get from him.🤡😖

Anyway hope you are having a great day! I'm soooo excited for the next chapter

-🍣( It's me againnn!!(≧∇≦)/, I'm not sure if you did get my ask last time but yeah I'm still shy and you don't have to reply to this ask hahshs)

Anonymous said

Lowkey wanna see y/n lose it lose it. Like next time Gojo says some shit like “know your place” I lowkey want her to be like “bitch you know your place. I could legit ruin your life in a second by telling both our family’s about the affair. I AM IN CONTROL” i know she won’t cause she’s so nice and sweet but just imagine the satisfaction from seeing Gojo’s face

publishing the messages for everyone to see !! i’m sorry i no longer have the mental capacity to provide lengthy answers gahah ai’s brain is tired :(( but thank you sm for sending these through !! AND YES i do love seeing y/n finally standing up to satoru, but ofc she will do it based on her personality. she’s not gonna do a 180 and suddenly be a baddie :D she does it y/n way and honestly i think that’ll hurt satoru more

#saintobio.asks #series: sincerely not

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scarletwinterxx · 4 years

Text

First and Last pt. 1

Welcome to my new series! I’m so excited to write this one, I hope you guys like it.

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR || FINALE || BONUS

“I do have a girlfriend”

The moment those words left Donghyuck’s mouth, he knew he was in trouble.

There’s room for mistakes with the statement he just made, like for one he doesn’t have a girlfriend, two he wouldn’t know where he could find a girlfriend and number three he knows atleast one of his friends knew he was lying.

“Finally moved on from Lia?” Jaemin asked, making the rest of the boys turn to him and for Donghyuck to make a face

“I thought I made it clear we don’t say that name out loud” Renjun not so subtly said

“You know I can hear you right?” Donghyuck asked his three bestfriends

“Just pretend that you didn’t” Renjun told him. The rest of their lunch period was spent on talking about random stuff and what to eat for dinner tonight but Donghyuck was still thinking of a way to get himself out of the little white lie he just said.

“Yuta hyung texted, he said they’re throwing a party this Friday. You should take your girlfriend” Jaemin just when Donghyuck thought they let go of that topic

“I’ll ask her” He mumbled, Renjun eyed him before asking the ultimate question

“Do we know her? What’s her name?”

That made Jeno and Jaemin look at Donghyuck too, waiting for his answer.

At that exact moment, Y/N was in his line of sight. She was just walking past behind the three boys, her earphones on and a book clutched in her hand

“Y/L/N Y/N”

“Y/N? Like the same Y/N in our Chemistry class?” Jeno asked, he was trying to recall if he ever saw the two talk or have any kind of interaction but he came up empty

“Yea, but please don’t corner her. We’re trying to keep it on the down low” Donghyuck quickly added, a loophole he was lucky enough to thought of

“No promises, we need to go now or else we’ll be late again” Renjun said then pulled on Donghyuck’s arm, going the opposite direction his supposed girlfriend went.

What has he gotten himself into.

For the entirety of this semester, Y/N is probably the only student in this campus that hasn’t gone out to party atleast once. It’s never been her thing and she honestly doesn’t see it being her thing now.

“Why don’t you come with us this Friday? There’s a party we’re going to” one of her classmates said earlier, she was already thinking of an excuse to say as to why she can’t come.

Y/N thinks they’re used it by now. She does feel guilty saying no all the time. It does feel like she’s being a bad friend but the mere thought of being in a house with a bunch of people she doesn’t know is already making her feel very anxious.

“Call us if you change your mind” her classmate said with a smile before exiting the room

Y/N was just about to exit the room too when she heard someone call for me. Turning around to see who it was, it was a bit surprising.

Lee Donghyuck or Haechan as his friends and most people call him, was now walking towards her. Y/N knows him because they did an assignment together back in freshmen orientation week .

He was the kind of guy who is her total opposite, unlike her who cowers away from parties he was the life of it. He was always surrounded with his friends and everyone liked him. He has this aura about him that just makes you feel comfortable, she can’t quite pinpoint it.

Y/N looked behind her to see if it was really her he was calling out to, which was kind of dumb since he was calling her name.

“Me?” Y/N said pointing to myself, now he was standing infront of her.

“Hi, I’m-”

“Donghyuck, right?” she asked, cutting off his introduction

“I was going to say Haechan but yes I’m Donghyuck” He said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and pulling on the strap of his bag with the other

“Can I help you with anything?” Y/N asked him, it’s not like she felt uncomfortable talking to him. She did think it was weird that even people like her, someone who is very anti-social, feels comfortable around him.

“Yes, uhm this might sound a bit weird but I need to ask you a favor”

“What?”

“A favor”

“Yes, but why would it be weird?” Y/N asked, shooting him a confused look

He looked around the room, which was now empty before his eyes landed back on me

“I kind of told my friends you’re my girlfriend”

There’s so many things Y/N should be asking about, but of course the first one she thought of is,

“Why me?”

“You were walking past us when my friends were interrogating me, and we worked together before right? So I just thought why not, I kind of know you already” he answered. Y/N has never seen him nervous before but she guess this is how he looks like when he is.

“You’re friends with other girls though” Y/N mumbled, emotion flashed across his face. Was it rejection or hurt? She wasn’t sure but she’s already feeling guilty and anxious.

“I know, but my bestfriends know them too. You’re kind the only one who they don’t know yet. If you’re up for it, I totally understand”

It shouldn’t be her problem really. Why should she care? He doesn’t know her, why would he pick her to be his fake girlfriend?

A thousand things were already running through Y/N’s mind

“I’m not sure- I”

“Hey, it’s okay. If you don’t feel comfortable that’s totally fine with me” he showed her a small smile, before looking around the room again

“I’ll think about it”

Even Y/N was surprised with what she just said.

“What? You will? I mean that’s cool but like I said if you’re not up for it, it’s fine. I absolutely understand”

“Okay” she shot him a smile

“Okay, we can talk more about it later? At the cafe near town square?” he asked me. Y/N thought about it for a second, she really didn’t have anywhere to go.

“Sure” she agreed, he shot me a big smile before saying a quick thank you and then walked out of the room.

What did she get herself into?

Y/N’s last class for the day was done, Donghyuck texted her earlier to confirm our meet-up time.

He probably still had Y/N number from the last time they met, so she shot him a quick text that she was on her way.

Y/N’s not going to lie she did consider not showing up and making up an excuse like she didn’t feel good or she had a paper due tonight but for once she mustered up the courage to go out.

This being the only out-of-the-box thing she’s done her whole life seems a bit sad and disappointing, she kept thinking how other people her age would have double the amount of stories to tell.

As she walks to the cafe, she was already thinking of questions to ask him. But Y/N also thought what if she sound too pushy or something.

Y/N was a bundle of anxious nerves when she got there, she searched around the room to see him sitting alone in a booth.

Donghyuck was on his phone so he didn’t see Y/N come in, she made her way to where he was before clearing her throat which made him look up

“Hey, you made it”

she almost didn’t

“Hi, sorry I’m late” Y/N mumbled then took the seat across from

“It’s fine I wasn’t waiting that long, should we order something?” he asked her, they both stood up again to see the menu. Y/N was just looking around while he was beside her reading the menu,

“Do you want coffee or tea?” Donghyuck offered

“Uh, no thank you” she answered with a polite smile.

“You sure?”

“It’s like 5pm, I won’t be able to go to sleep if I drink coffee now” she told him

“Okay, how about those cookies?” He saw how she was looking at the cookies on display

“It’s fine really-” “My treat, I owe you anyways”

Y/N thinks she knows why she feels comfortable around him. There’s something about his eyes or just him in general that makes him look so innocent in certain moments. It’s not there often but you can see it if you pay attention

“Okay, thank you”

“Think of this as our first date”

That made Y/N turn to look at him so fast she thinks she gave herself a whiplash, he just chuckled at the girl’s expression

“What? Okay I’ll take you out somewhere better if this doesn’t cut it for a good first date”

“This is a date?” Y/N asked, again the boy just chuckled at her

“We can pretend it is, I did tell my friends that you’re my girlfriend”

Every time he says those words, Y/N get this feeling she don’t quite understand. Was it panic, anxiety, or excitement she wasn’t sure.

After getting drinks and snacks they went back to the table they were previously occupying,

“So I was thinking-”

“Actually I came to tell you I can’t do it” Y/N cut Donghyuck off

He looked straight at Y/N, after a few seconds she looked away. Feeling a little conscious under his gaze

“You can’t do it?”

“Yeah, uhm. I’m sorry but I’m not the girl for you, Donghyuck. Even if we can make up a pretty convincing story, I don’t see how you would like a girl like me”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he looked genuinely confused.

Y/N took a deep breath before starting the explanation she has thought over and over during the whole day

“You’ve said it yourself, you only picked me because I was passing by. You wouldn’t have even thought of me if I didn’t. We’ve never hung out during or after school, the last time we talked was last semester, you’re clearly the life of the party while I avoid them like a plague”

“So you’re saying we’re too opposite for me to like you?” he asked,

“You don’t like me, we’re just pretending. What I’m saying is no one’s gonna believe it. I’m not anything like Lia” Y/N said, referring to his ex-girlfriend. She wasn’t the one for campus gossip and all that but it was hard not to know when literally everyone in every class she was in was talking about them.

At the mention of her name, Donghyuck looked away. Another emotion flashing across his face but went as soon as it came. Y/N thought maybe she shouldn’t have brought her up.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring her up” she mumbled, already feeling the guilt set in

“Don’t worry about it, I’m used to it”

“Doesn’t make me any less sorry” her reply made him chuckle, taking a quick sip of his iced coffee before looking at the girl sitting across from him

“It was messed up, what happened between her and I. I’m also sick of people looking at me with the pity eyes” he told Y/N, “That’s why I said I had a girlfriend. To get my friends off my back.”

“I’m sorry about that”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, I’m the one who pulled you into this mess” he shot her a tight lipped smile.

Y/N did give his proposition a lot of thought. It will be so unlike of her to go with his plan but also she doesn’t have anything to lose. After hearing why he did it, he sounded like he did need her help but Y/N’s doubts about herself were already eating her away.

She was thinking about him and Lia, how similar they were. How pretty she is, how popular and kind and talented she is. She was nothing like any of those things. How can someone ever believe Donghyuck is dating her? Her of all people.

“I should be get going, I have some work to do” Y/N said, an excuse that she just made up. It was overused, even she was tired of hearing herself say it but she was so used to cowering back to her shell all the time.

“Okay, thanks by the way. For hearing me out atleast”

“Sorry I couldn’t help you” Y/N told him, he shot Y/N a small smile while shaking his head at her “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you around”

They bid goodbye to each other and went their separate ways for the night.

If Y/N only knew this wasn’t the last time Lee Donghyuck would be invading her mind.

A few days passed since their meeting at the café, Donghyuck was still thinking of an excuse to say when he arrive at the party alone. Which was happening hours away from now.

He thought about not going but that seemed like he was avoiding something, so that option was out of the window.

He didn’t want to push Y/N, she seemed like a great girl. Too great for him if he’s being honest. But she looked really unsettled with his plan so he decided not to insist.

Donghyuck would just have to live with his friends pestering him about his lovelife.

When Donghyuck arrived at the party, he quickly searched the crowd for his friends. They texted him saying they were already here, already asking Hyuck where he was and if he was taking his girlfriend with him.

He made a beeline for the kitchen to grab a drink, not in the mood to get drunk or anything so he took a can of cola from the fridge before leaning on the counter.

“Haechan, is that you?” at the sound of the voice calling out to him, Hyuck’s body felt frozen.

Why was she here? Why did no one told him she was coming and why was she talking to him

“Hi” he awkwardly said, mentally slapping himself for sounding too awkward

“Haven’t talked to you in a while” Lia said with a smile on, as if she didn’t just break his heart less than a year ago

“That’s because you broke up with me” He told her, his face stoic. Lia looked at him, she was still sporting an innocent smile on. Once upon a time that would have made Hyuck’s heart beat faster but now he just wanted to get out of this kitchen and find his friends.

“We should talk, Haechan-“

“I have nothing left to say to you. You’re the one who broke up with me remember?” he told the girl, this time the smile disappeared from her face. “I just wanted to say I miss you”

It was a lie. He knew that.

He would be the biggest fool if he believed that but Lia can be persistent if she wants to be

“Well I didn’t” Hyuck mumbled, he walked around her trying to get out of the kitchen and away from her but Lia’s hand caught Hyuck’s arm making him halt his steps.

“That’s a lie, we both know that’s a lie”

“Don’t put words into my mouth, Lia. I don’t miss you, not anymore”

“The last time I checked you’re the one who hasn’t moved on” she told him, in that statement he knew what she was trying to do. Lia knew she had Hyuck on the palm of her hands, but he didn’t want to be anymore.

As if the heavens heard him, someone pulled his arm away from Lia’s grasp and stood in between them

“And who told you that?” Y/N asked the girl, this was a surprise to everyone in the room. Donghyuck haven’t talked to Y/N since that day on the café, where if he remembers correctly he was turned down.

“Who are you?” Lia asked back, not in a bitchy way but in a confused way

“Donghyuck’s girlfriend” Y/N answered without missing a beat, Hyuck wasn’t going to lie he wanted to cheer her on out loud but he kept his mouth shut. Y/N’s hand was still around his arm, holding on to it tightly as she stood in front of him about to put his ex-girlfriend in her place.

“Donghyuck? Girlfriend?” Lia asked, looking behind Y/N to see Hyuck looking at his ‘girlfriend’ with a proud smile on.

“Yes and yes, I’m not the one to be territorial or be one of those girls who stop their boyfriends from being friends with other girls but I think you got the wrong idea here. Lia right?”

Hyuck wanted to laugh out loud. This was a side of you he didn’t know and he liked it.

“Well, Lia. I would like to say I heard so much about you but I honestly haven’t. But I would greatly appreciate it if you don’t ask my boyfriend if he misses you because clearly he doesn’t” Y/N said then sent Lia a smile.

Hyuck let out a little chuckle, this made Y/N loosen her grasp on his arm so Donghyuck took this chance to snake his arm around her waist and pull Y/N closer to him.

“This is Y/N by the way, my girlfriend” He said to the other girl, the gloomy night doing a full 180.

Lia looked between the two, a sour look evading her face before she quickly replaces it with a smile. A fake one. After that she walked away without a single word.

“Holy shit, I just that” he heard Y/N mutter to herself, “You’re here” he mumbled back making her turn to look at him

“Yea, Hi” she awkwardly said making Hyuck let out a laugh, “I thought you didn’t want to.. you know”

“I took some time to think about it, I don’t really have anything to lose here. And with just happened I think your friends are the least of your worries” Y/N said, referring to the scene earlier

“Yeah that was unexpected”

“You looked like you needed the save” she told him, her statement made Donghyuck smile.

He doesn’t know why but he was glad Y/N changed her mind and she was here. And she was right, he did need the saving. He just wasn’t aware that he did.

“Thanks”

“So boyfriend, are you ready to go out or was that enough show for the night?” she asked her with a smile

He held his hand out to her to which she just looked at, “You okay with this?” Hyuck asked, his voice quiet. Y/N shot him a smile before intertwining their fingers

“Don’t let me go or I might get lost” she mumbled, making Donghyuck laugh

“I won’t”

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watchtower-feed · 4 years

Text

Death Do We Part

SSA Spin-off ✧ Jason Todd ✧ Physical Link ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧ Notes: The main story of SSA is on hiatus while I figure out how to end it. For now, please enjoy this three-part (or four) spin-off that’s been nagging me ever since Until Death was finished. Words: 2,000+

A physical link is one of the most dangerous soulmate links around and that’s what you share with your soulmate. Your link with him is also more sensitive than most because sometimes your hair moves with the wind even though you’re indoors or you can taste what he’s eating.

But what you didn’t know was how much fun your link was going to be. Ever since you started holding pens and doodling on your arm, you’ve been getting replies on the other one. You thought it was such a fun game but it nearly gave your parents a heart attack. When you could form words and read them, you started to communicate with each other.

Jason, don’t forget your homework this time.

Oh crap! Thanks for reminding me, Y/N.

You roll your eyes as you say goodbye to your parents. You rush to the next block over just in time to see Jason stumble out of his apartment building. He falls and scrapes his knee. You both shout and wince at the same time.

“Jason! I thought you were going to be more careful. Are you trying to kill us before high school?” Jason laughs and grabs your hand. He drags you to the bus stop and you make it just in time.

Jason was careful. Both of you had your fair share of paper cuts, bumps, and bruises. But neither of you have ever sprained or broken anything. It sucks when one of you gets sick though.

“If I sneeze, are ya gonna sneeze too?” Jason says with a nasally voice lying in bed next to you. His dad was always out and his mom had to work so your parents offered to take care of him while you’re both sick. They basically only have to take care of one child anyway.

“I don’t know. We haven’t tried that one,” you smile and rub the bridge of Jason’s nose. He purrs. “That feels good, huh? It feels like I’m unblocking your nose.” You and Jason laugh.

“Y/N with the magic fingers. Gotham criminals beware!”

Your parents hush the two of you and threaten to make you sleep on the couch while Jason sleeps in your bed if you two don’t rest soon. You grab each other’s hands under the blanket and immediately close your eyes until they leave the room.

You open your eyes and Jason is staring at you, pouting. You take out your other hand and stroke his warm cheek. He closes his eyes to lean into your touch then opens them again. “Pops hasn’t been home in days. My mom thinks he’s run away or dead in a ditch somewhere.”

You frown and pull Jason close to you. “You’re always welcome here, Jason.”

He knows that. He knows you mean it but he couldn’t just take advantage of your kindness like that. So when his mother runs away and he’s left alone in an empty apartment for three days straight, Jason decides it’s time to be a man and take care of himself.

You don’t know what’s going on with Jason. He would still come out of their apartment building and go to school with you but you know he’s a little off. The first signs you pick up on are the pangs of hunger. No matter what amount of food you eat, your stomach growls and it feels like it’s eating itself.

When your mother asks you to bring a pot of leftovers to the Todds, that’s when you realize who the real culprit is. You march over to their apartment building and find the door unlocked, the lights off, and there’s a silhouette of a boy crouching in the corner of the unfurnished apartment.

You kneel down next to him and find that he’s awake but refuses to look at you. You call his name but he ignores you. You pinch your arm hard and it makes him jump. He hates it when you do that.

Jason devours the food in seconds, eating straight from the pot with a big wooden spoon. Little by little, he managed to survive by selling their furniture but he still had to ration whatever money he had so he only ate one meal a day. Jason laughs, “but when ya pig out, Y/N, I get so full. I don’t even have to eat more than that if ya think about it.” You don’t find that funny because you don’t think the link actually works that way.

He frowns and looks at his hands.

He wants to tell you that he’s being kicked out of the apartment tomorrow. He doesn’t want to use his meager amount of money to pay for rent when he can just survive in the streets.

He doesn’t say a word. He lets you stay with him until it’s late and he walks you back to your place.

He doesn’t go to school the next day. You go to their apartment to scold him but find that’s it locked because new tenants were moving in soon. You ask the landlord about Jason and he tells you he’s been gone since last night.

Jason, you idiot. Just stay with us. Mom is making your favorite tonight.

He doesn’t reply to your messages anymore and it’s making you more angry than sad. You sit in your quiet room and close your eyes, “Where are you, Jason?” you mutter before concentrating on what you feel. You try to distinguish the sensation inside your room to what he’s feeling outside.

You can feel humid air around your skin and sweat drenching the tips of your hair. He’s outside under the Gotham summer heat. You concentrate harder and you can hear footsteps and voices in the background. Foot traffic, so the streets? But which one? Then you hear it. The unmistakable sound of gunshots and running and police sirens. He’s in one of the worst parts of Gotham. Then you smell it, the lingering scent from Marco’s Bakery. He’s in the Narrows

You grab the leftovers and sneak out through your window. You try to make yourself small as you enter one of the worst parts of the city. You would take the alleys and hide behind dumpsters every time you hear shouting. Then you finally find him lying on flattened cardboard.

You kick him in the knee, bracing yourself for the sensation. He gets up quickly and his eyes widen at the sight of you. You drop the leftovers in front of him and glare. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, then fine. But at least eat.”

Walking away from Jason is hard but you know his pride won’t let him eat the food in front of you. You’re nearly home when you suddenly feel satiated. You do this every night. Leaving him food in that particular alley even when you stop finding Jason there.

It suddenly becomes something Jason would count on because you have always been the only one he can rely on. After a day of thievery and barely surviving he would smile on the way back to his flattened cardboard where your family’s homecooked meal would still be warm.

One night, Jason is astonished to find the batmobile in his alley. He’s admiring its size and fortress-like structure when he realizes that it had run over the food you left for him. Motivated by anger and vengeance, he finds a way to steal the hubcaps off of the batmobile’s wheels.

“I’m sure you know who you’re stealing from.” The menacing voice shocks Jason and he turns around with a screwdriver in one hand. He takes a moment to appreciate the sheer size and intimidating stature of Batman.

Then he glares at him and kicks his shin, “Yeah! Yer the big boob who ran over my dinner!”

Batman is instantly puzzled. He narrows his eyes to one of his wheels and finds pasta littered on the floor and a ruined plastic container.

Two nights after that, you’re dropping off Jason’s food and you’re surprised to find him standing in the alley in fresh clothes and a wide grin on his face. You narrow your eyes in an instant, “Did you finally inhale too much Joker gas or something?”

“Y/N, you’ll never believe it. Oh boy!”

Jason walks you away from the Narrows and back to your neighborhood. He tells you about running into Bruce Wayne the other night, leaving out the fact that he’s Batman.

“He said I reminded him so much of himself when he was younger that he couldn’t imagine not adopting me,” he boasts with his thumb brushing the collar of his new shirt.

You roll your eyes and of course, you don’t believe him. But then you arrive at your house and there’s a limo in front of your building. The door opens and Bruce Wayne steps out. Your mouth hangs open as he approaches you.

Jason smirks and snaps his fingers in front of your face, “Y/N, I’d like ya to meet Bruce Wayne. Brucey, this is the friend I was telling ya about.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N. Once Jason’s settled in at the manor, we’d be more than happy to invite you and your family over for dinner.”

You gulp. Because honestly what else can you do? The richest man in Gotham is outside your house and he’s Jason’s new father.

But Jason never did invite you to the manor. In fact, ever since he became a Wayne, you saw him less than never.

I miss you, Jason. Why are you avoiding me this time?

For Jason, that was anything but an easy decision. It was never really Bruce that invited him to his home. It was Batman. And Jason knows that if Batman finds out he has a physical link with a civilian, he would stop letting him be Robin.

So he dedicated all of his time to being a good son, a model student, and a fierce sidekick. Subduing criminals before they get the chance to land a blow on him. Whenever Bruce tells corrects his movement and his fighting style, Jason always takes his criticisms to heart because it’s not just his life on the line.

Whenever you’re missing Jason and it gets too much, you lie on the floor and close all of your senses again. You imagine him lying on a thousand-thread-count cotton bed or warm in front of a crackling fire while laughing and drinking tea with Bruce Wayne and his butler.

But all you get is whiplash. The wind is strong and harsh against your face. Your hair is flying up while you’re lying on the floor. You can also smell the smoke of the steaming sewers wafting into the Gotham air.

Jason’s out in the night and from your heavy breathing and aching muscles, you can only guess that he’s happy and exhilarated. Your breathing labors against your chest and you can feel the muscles along your jaw strain hard. Jason’s laughing.

You roll on your side and smile at the thought of Jason enjoying his life. You miss him.

Then it happens.

You’re out with friends at someone’s sweet sixteen party and you’re wearing a dress just like everyone else. At first, you’re laughing, something someone said about a joke you haven’t yet heard.

Then suddenly your whole body is thrown back as a blow to your head knocks you against the table. You use your elbows to support yourself and you watch as everyone stares at you.

A phantom weapon hits your back and you’re kneeling on the floor, coughing out blood on someone’s shoes. That’s when the screaming starts. But you can’t listen to them now. No, you need to focus on Jason. What the hell is happening to him?

Another blow to your back makes your body drop flat on the ground. Your lip bleeds when your teeth tear into them as you hit the ground. You groan. This is the most pain the two of you have ever been in and you think you can also feel Jason’s fear.

“Hand me a pen!” you scream before a blow to the side of your ribs flips you onto your back. You cough more blood and you desperately try to sit up as one of your closest friends hands you a marker.

“I called your parents. They’re on their way. What’s happening, Y/N?”

You don’t know. You don’t know. You try to write as legibly as you can.

Wats wrong

You wait for a response. Then something happens. It forces your eyes to look up and you think you see something intangible floating in the air. A crowbar? Then it comes crashing down against your ribs and you hear bones crack. Your friend screams, too afraid to touch you.

You think one of your ribs splintered and your lungs have collapsed. It’s too hard to breathe. It feels like no air is coming into your lungs. You rest your head to the side, staring at your arm.

Slowly, words start appearing, smeared in crimson blood.

I’m sorry, Y/N. I lov

SSA Spin-off ✧ Jason Todd ✧ Physical Link ✧ 1 ✧ 2 ✧ 3 ✧ 4 ✧ 5 ✧ 6 ✧ 7 ✧ 8 ✧ 9 ✧ 10 ✧ 11 ✧ 12 ✧ 13 ✧ 14 ✧ 15 ✧

✧ Watchtower Masterlist ✧

#ssa #superhero soulmate au #spinoff #DC imagines #DC fanfiction #DC reader insert #Jason Todd imagine #Jason Todd fanfiction #Jason Todd x reader #Robin imagine #Robin fanfiction #Robin x reader #Red Hood imagine #Red Hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #watchtower-feed #atbucud #jason todd #red hood

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benkouji726 · 4 years

Text

So I wrote my 5+1 Forlex fic, as I was saying earlier. I really lack impulse control when it comes to rnm, sigh.

Jealous Guerin may have some appearances in this fic too, but it’s eventually Forlex.

This is the first part of it. I will try to update it daily, before I lose my nerves.

Five times Alex surprised Forrest and one time he didn’t

It was supposed to be some harmless fun, at first.

Forrest was intuitive, to put it mildly. You didn’t grow up in a Long household and become this well-liked and popular family member by being dense, especially when you were gay. Besides, his gut feeling had saved him more times than he could count in battles, it was one of the reasons his buddies trusted him with their lives.

He was very good at reading people and situations around or between them. He didn’t always care what people thought of him, of others or of themselves, but he noticed all the same and would efficiently use that information to his advantage. Call it his people skills, but it was how he managed to live through his rebellious youth period, his military years, and now his adult life in a backwards town like Roswell, while never stopped being his colorful-haired, emo-poetry-writing, 20 pounds of personality in a 5 pound pocket-sized body self.

So he had known there was something between Alex and Alien Guy even when they first met at the Long farm. As they talked, it was like there were only them in the whole world. The air seemed thicker and more tangible, the atmosphere charged. Then at the diner, Forrest noticed the meaningful glance Alien Guy shot his way. When Alex sang that song, Guerin walked in and they seemed to have some soul searching conversations through their eyes only, well, it was really not that hard a guess who the song was for. And frankly, Alex needed to work on his poker face a LOT if he was ever gonna sell that obvious “it was a long time ago” lie.

But at the time, it hadn’t really mattered. Whatever it was between them, it seemed neither of them was going to make a move. And Alex was so hot sometimes he wondered how the hell he remained single in the first place, but he WAS single, and a smart guy like Forrest was never gonna miss out a perfectly good opportunity to make out with a hot guy and have some fun time with him.

It was supposed to be just like that, some fun, some company, some glorious make out sessions. Nothing heavy or potential heartbreak or anything.

Which was probably why he didn’t even realize he was falling for Alex until it was a bit of too late.

They were dating for two months at that point. Forrest had met almost all of Alex’s friends and family members (the ones who counted as friends and family in Alex’s book anyway), minus Michael Guerin. And Forrest had won them over one by one. He once overheard Liz call him “charming, funny, honest and loyal to a fault”, to a reluctant Isobel Evans, who had been giving him stink eyes ever since he and Alex had gone out, but in their last get-together thingy (Forrest honestly didn’t know how to call these, because they were irregular as fuck, both in schedule and in attending member counts), Isobel joined him at the bar when he was getting them the last round, considered him for a second, patted him on his shoulder without looking at him and said in a small but genuine voice: “You are not half bad”. So Forrest would call it a win.

In hindsight, it should have been his first warning sign that he cared so much of what Alex’s friends think of him. But in his defense, Alex was most at ease when he was with his friends, which meant he would always be sweet, adorable, sometimes sassy, sometimes soft, and had the unique sense of humor in a deadpan way, and Forrest was too busy being charmed to notice it.

So when his platoon buddies, Tony and Chris, came into town to visit him and he brought Alex to have a beer together, he was so caught off guard when Alex went to bathroom and Tony said:

“Man, you’re so gone on him, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t even a question.

Forrest spluttered, red faced, and said, eloquently: “uh, what?”

Tony and Chris changed a look, both amused. “You’ve been staring at him all night, Long. You look at him as if he hung the moon. You can’t seem to keep your hands to yourself, not to be PDA or something, but little touches, I think you didn’t even notice. He made a joke earlier, granted, it WAS hilarious, but the way you laughed, like you think he is the most funny guy in the whole world, which, no offense, is really not the case.”

Tony drank some water after his long ass bullshit, and Chris went in for a final blow. “So in conclusion, you’ve had it bad, dude, like, we’ve-never-seen-you-like-this level bad.”

Forrest was dumbstruck at that. He must’ve seemed like a dumbass too, because they decided to take pity on him, and changed the subject.

“Anyway, you know we’ve been relocated to the nearby base, Tobias and Leo are near enough too. The others all cashed in some long-overdue vacation days so we can have a little get together for our platoon in Santa Fe next month. You should come too.”

OK, that was exciting news. He missed his buddies and would be very happy to spend some time with them.

But Tony hesitated a little before continued: “There is a catch though. We thought it would be nice that we all bring our significant others, or even our children. So it would be a more family style setting. It may not be your thing.”

The thing was, it would totally be Forrest’s thing. He just didn’t know how to say it. With his platoon buddies, he always seemed like the free spirited lone wolf, easygoing, open and honest, but never the one to talk about family issues or kids problems with. But he would enjoy being surrounded by family love and loud but innocent kids, so he opened his mouth to just say that when he was interrupted by a light laugh.

“What are you guys talking about, family and kids and platoon buddies all under the same roof? It’s totally his thing.”

Forrest was startled, both by Alex’s sudden reappearance and his seemingly psychic ability to read his mind. When he remained silent a second too long, Alex apologized.

“Sorry, did I overstep? You actually don’t want to go or...?”

“No! I mean, yes, I wanna go. I just, something they said earlier, it was a lot to unpack. But you are right, I would love to go.” Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Alex didn’t seem to buy it, but he was kind enough to drop it at the time.

On their drive home though, Alex picked it up again, as Alex would do, because he was a stubborn son of bitch like that.

“You wanna talk about what happened earlier?”

Forrest sighed. Best to just cut to the chase.

��Why did you say it was totally my thing? We didn’t often talk about family and kids, if any.”

Alex frowned, “No, we didn’t normally talk about that stuff. But it’s obvious you like family energy and friendly gatherings, isn’t it? Am I not supposed to know that?”

“But how? I served with my buddies for a long time, we trust each other with our lives. But almost none of them know it.”

“Forrest”, Alex smiled, “you like almost all of your family members, stay friends with a lot of them, despite some of them are real assholes. You even like hanging out with my friends and family too, not just because we are dating, but because you love being around people who give you warm family-like feelings. You organize every open mic night at the pony, and are genuinely interested in the acts and the people behind them, you like to talk to them about their lives and their relationships. You volunteer at the youth shelter. You are, simply put, a people person. You like people, you see good in them, you want to be around them and be a positive influence for them. You don’t necessarily tolerate stupid bigots, and you would be the first to call out their cowardice, but if they are willing to change and be better, you would want to believe in them too.”

He exhaled, oblivious of Forrest’s stunned expression, and continued.

“For a man who has that big a heart, I’d imagine spending some time with his buddies and their families would totally be his thing, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, but...”

“And there’s also your poetry.”

Forrest was getting whiplash tonight, he could hardly keep up.

“My poetry?”

“Yeah, you gave me your emo poetry journal the other day and asked for my opinion?”

“I remember that. In fact, I remember it was a week ago and I still haven’t got any feedback yet.” If he was being honest, he would say he had been a little hurt by that too.

Alex’s face turned a shade pink. “I know I was being a little slow. But I just want to do them justice, you know? I’ve been reading each of them multiple times, so I can get the gist right.”

OK, hurt instantly healed. He really should be concerned how Alex’s words could so easily affect his mood.

“Anyway, the poems you wrote, they are all very pro-humanity, at least in my opinion. Like, the themes vary, some about personal journeys, some about lost love, some about struggling life, some about anger and pain. But the words have something like warmth attached to them, like despite all, there’s hope, and there’s good, in people, in humanity, in the whole world.”

He looked down at his hands then, voice quiet.

“And that’s the thing I like most about you.”

Shit.

“Shit”, It was definitely too soon, but Forrest just can’t not say it. “I think I might be falling for you.”

Alex looked at him right then, hesitated then determined: “I don’t think I’m there yet. But I think I could see myself heading down that road someday.”

He added in a more unsure voice: “Is that OK?”

Forrest reached out, squeezed his hand, and reassured him: “It’s OK”.

And it really was.

#forlex #forlex fic #my fic #alex manes #forrest long #roswell new mexico

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t4t-lumpygrab · 4 years

Text

Bedtime

me @ the lumpygrab fandom: pspspspspspspsps

Anyway this is day one of fluffember! Yes I am doing it 8 days late mind ur own business <3

Lemongrab would never be able to understand how his subjects did it. All he needed to do was yell “LIGHTS OUT!” and every single one of them would drop as if dead. He’d had to stop calling lights out while they were working, or they would literally fall asleep in the trees they were picking fruit from. Lemonblombo broke his leg and since then bedtime in the Lemon Earldom had been made longer with extra steps like “make sure you’re actually in a bed first” but even so it was astounding. Just like that they’d all be asleep.

If only the same could be said for him.

Lemongrab tossed over again and muttered something incomprehensible. Why couldn’t he do it? He was tired, he was in bed, he’d done everything you were supposed to, he’d drank the stupid warm milk and everything- so why couldn’t he just sleep already?! It bordered on unacceptable.

It was his fourth night in a row having insomnia. Fourth! It was disgusting. Unbelievable. His brain- how dare it. If LSP was here he’d complain all about it to her, but four nights ago she’d moved back to Lumpy Space for her coronation.

As soon as he remembered that his chest tightened and it felt like his insides were tying themselves into knots. He instinctively reached out to touch her side of the bed, seeking her warmth but finding only cold, empty sheets.

He drew his hand back. He was busy during the day so he could distract himself with paperwork and manual labour from the gnawing loneliness. He wouldn’t think about how each day she wasn’t with him, it grew a bit bigger. Till now it was all he could feel and he couldn’t hide from how much he missed her.

Lemongrab muttered something else and yanked his pillow down so he could hug it. He sadly stroked it but the texture was all wrong. LSP was covered in a fine coat of fluffy fur, so when he touched her, his hand dissolved in softness. And she had been so warm.

He turned his head to look up at the ceiling mural Jermaine had painted for him. Jermaine hadn’t understood why Lemongrab insisted on going over all his sketches and personally drawing in each individual purple flower. Or why he had to lie there and watch him paint every single one. Then he’d seen him and LSP together and it all made sense. The dog hadn’t said anything to him (thank glob) but he’d smiled at him knowingly in a way that made the earl squirm with embarrassment. It was so obvious that they were meant to symbolise her. So he’d always have a part of her with him when he went to bed.

He looked up at the outlines of the flowers in the dim moonlight. They seemed so high up, too high up to reach and touch, as far away from him as she was. It didn’t feel like he had a part of her with him, it felt like he had a cruel reminder of the empty space beside him. Mocking him.

He hugged the pillow and tried to pretend it was her, but the shape was all wrong. The size was wrong. The everything was wrong. And no matter how much he squeezed it, it would never hug him back. The arms that were supposed to be around him were gone. The gentle sound of her breathing was gone. It just lay there, cold and limp.

He turned his head to look at the phone on the bedside table. It would be wrong to call her this late. It would be unacceptable. He should be ashamed of himself for even considerin-

Lemongrab reached for the phone with zero hesitation..

It was stupid. He was a grown man. He didn’t need someone else to put him to sleep.

Lemongrab shakily dialled the memorised phone number.

It was dumb to assume that just because they were in love they could be together all the time. He had to get used to being on his own. He should already be used to being on his own. He’d been alone for all his life- being together was supposed to be the hard part. He’d always found other people difficult. It had always just been him. He’d always been able to look after himself before. He shouldn’t need someone else to put him to sleep.

He jabbed the final button. He needed her to put him to sleep.

He pressed the phone to his head. Nothing. Just the dial tone. A dull beep beep, beep beep instead of her voice. He traced round the phone cord, running his finger up and down as his heart raced. Bump bump, bump bump. She’d pick up soon. He’d hear her voice. The gentle sound of her breathing into the receiver, her voice travelling down the wire he was wrapping his finger round right into his heart. Bump bump. Beep beep. He wound the cord round and round. Beep beep. He pulled it so tight it nearly snapped.

She wasn’t picking up.

He let go of the wound up cord as all the excitement he’d been building up unravelled. It was late after all, she’d already gone to bed. She was already asleep, gently breathing as she dreamed. She didn’t need him, he thought, not like he needed her. It was just going to be him tonight, alone. Like he always had been.

There was a click. “Hello?” came her muffled voice. “What the lump is this, it’s two in the morning. Dummy prank caller. If I ever meet you it’s on sight, I’ll rip off your arms, I’ll rip off your ugly legs, I’ll rip off your wig- unless you don’t wear one, then I’ll put a wig on you just to rip it off. And-”

He instantly felt better. It was like magic. “Hello? Mmmmm Princeeess?”

“Omg hiiiiiiii Lemmy~” LSP switched fast enough to give anyone whiplash. “Why aren’t you asleep is something wrong?”

Lemongrab smiled and gently rocked back and forth as her voice washed over him. “I am, ngh, okay now.”

“Can you like, not sleep, or something?”

Lemongrab didn’t say anything as the answer was obvious.

“Well anyway, I’m really happy you called. I was like, literally just thinking about you this is crazy!”

“Iiii was… thinking about yoouu tooo, my sugarlump.”

“What were you thinkiiing?~” LSP said flirtatiously, “were you like, thinking about how hot I am?”

“Well no-”

LSP switched back to her “I will rip your arms off” voice. “What the hell do you mean no, little man?”

Lemongrab broke into a cold sweat. “I-I meeaaan, my darling, that Iiii…” Lemongrab clutched the phone cord from embarrassment, “I miss you.”

He stroked the cord with a yellow finger. “I know you need tooo go to Lumpy Space for your mm coronation- and very acceptable it is, I’m sure! You deserve to bee a queen, and to have everyone admire you as much as Iiii doo, I want everyone to see how special you are. But… But I wish you were with me too.” Now that he’d started it all came pouring out. All the little things he hadn’t even realised he missed about her, like having her clothes hanging next to his in the wardrobe, or eating dinner together, he hadn’t realised how quiet the table was without her, how lonely, how empty the castle felt. How empty he felt.

LSP didn’t say anything for a while and then there was a weird crackling sound on her end of the line.

“W-what was that?”

“I gave you a kiss through the phone.” she said factually.

“O-oh. Mmm thanks?”

“I miss kissing…” LSP said dreamily, “You get so embarrassed about it it’s soooo cute! You know, I’d never seen a boy blush green before.”

LSP would probably be happy to know that he was furiously blushing green all the way through that sentence. Lemongrab didn’t say anything, he just muttered flustered gibberish and played with the phone cord like a teenage girl.

“I miss… I miss so much stuff I can’t even pick one. I just miss you. I am having fun in Lumpy Space, and my coronation is gonna be lumping amazing. But I just keep thinking that it’d be so much more fun if you were here.” LSP sighed heavily.

“Hmmm…” Lemongrab hummed as he listened to her, “mayybee… Iii should visit?”

“OH MY GLOB YEAH YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME!” LSP yelled into the phone loud enough to blow his ears off if he had them. “Wait aren’t you like, mad busy tho?”

“Yes but… I have come to aaa realisation,” He was wrong when he thought LSP didn’t need him the way he needed her. She did need him. She missed him and she wished he was with her the same way he did. This whole time they’d been secretly yearning after each other. He shouldn’t have to be alone if they both wanted to be together. And maybe they couldn’t be together all the time, but they could try.

“My people need me but, you need mee toooo...I know your parents need you… but I need you too.” he admitted quietly, “I can’t sleep without you.”

“Aw!” LSP gave him another phone kiss, “Okay okay I’ll put you to sleep.”

Lemongrab was overjoyed. “Really?!” LSP shhed him through the phone. The sound of it was gentle and soft, and so real. Almost as if she was there with him, on her side of the bed.

“Lieee dooown~” LSP murmured and he obeyed her, already feeling sleepy, “Close your eyes~” she didn’t need to tell him twice. “Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story or should I sing?” she simpered into his ear and he shivered.

“Sing…” No one could understand why Lemongrab liked LSP’s voice so much, most people just put it down to him having peculiar tastes as he’d never exactly been known for his normalcy. Even LSP wondered why he genuinely liked hearing her sing, no one else really did. She wasn’t used to it so she couldn’t understand it.

She asked him about it once and all he said was; “You have aaa... beautiful voice.”

“Yeah right.” she’d scoffed. “I sound like a freaking grown man trying to do a valley girl impression.”

Lemongrab looked sad and was quiet for a while. “If you do not believe that I like it then, will you believe me if I say, I love it because it’s a part of you?”

“This is the song baby Sweet P likes,” she told him, “he like, totaaaally loves me. I’m, like, absolutely his favourite babysitter eva! Even though I trashed his parents’ house, but that’s not important. What I mean is: I think you’ll like it.”

Lemongrab was already half asleep. He shifted to get comfortable in the bed he’d just been tossing around in, with the phone leaned against him. He heard LSP’s gentle breathing as she inhaled to start singing and then the sweet melody of her voice wrapped him up like a blanket.

“But-ter cakes, cup-cakes and ice-cream-cakes,

Small baby bums, and the friend-ship of pup-pies…”

It was a tiny lullaby and LSP worried for a moment that it was too short, but she heard Lemongrab breathing deeply through the receiver and grinned to herself.

Lemongrab was normally the one who fell asleep first while she stayed up late. She hadn’t realised how much she needed his soft breathing to calm her and lull her to sleep until she tried to sleep alone in her own bed and it felt so wrong. It was so cold without him draping an arm over her when he rolled over. Pulling her close, making her feel safe. It had been so lonely.

She didn’t know how long she lay there, just listening to him until she felt her own eyelids begin to droop. She planted another kiss on the phone’s speaker for him and whispered the final part of the song. She’d hoped he’d still be awake to hear it, but to be honest, she just wanted to say it to him.

“You are more precious than anything in this world. And I will always, always love you...”

#adventure time #atimers #lemongrab #lsp #lumpygrab #lumpy space princess #fanfiction #adventure time fanfiction #my writing #other ppl in the advtime tag: obsidian...#me: purpol cloud... kith yellow pointy....#fluffember #fluffember 2020

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brinnygetsstabbed · 4 years

Text

[ DEADLY AGREEMENT // MOUSE’S MEMORIES]

She made a promise.

She made a promise to get herself into the woods when she could. Be it after Trial or when the others drifted away to do their own thing. To return to that hidden place, where nothing useful is. The edge of survivor territory.

It’s dangerous, and she knows it’s dangerous. It’s just not compared to the doom looming over her if she doesn’t put herself in danger. There’s no choice. She’ll be hurt either way, it’s just a matter of postponing the pain. But, if she does this now, if she goes, maybe she can escape it for a bit. Make him happy, keep him calm.

Just fulfill the promise.

Her legs tremble with each step, the further she gets from the fire, the darker the world around her gets. Brin hates the feeling of being so alone, yet so surrounded at the same time. She has no bubble, no shield around herself to hide behind. Exposed, an easy target. Still, she pushes forward, going by uneven memory.

Lots of deals, the concepts of arrangements were vaguely thrown onto the table. She does something for him, and he lets her go. He lets her go and with that, he offers a mocking version of security. It’s easier to see the light when he’s not snuffing it out, when she’s still got her eyes. She can see how awful he is. How terrible she is for even listening, for not turning to her real friends for help. This will just isolate her more, only leaving him. The only person she’ll have left to turn to is the person who is hurting her.

the person who is using her. She knows it.

Yet still, she is walking.

The air shifts, the little pocket comes into view. A small area missing trees, a rock sits right in the center. The canopy still acts as a weird roof to this space. She doesn’t feel safe, but at least there’s no immediate danger. Not until he shows up, and he will. She knows he will. He always does.

Brin holds her arms tightly around herself, a slight shiver clings to her bones. Just wait.

Time gives her room to think, to consider. To figure out a way to escape this, escape him. The game she fell into. It's a trap, and she curses herself for not seeing it sooner. What was so special about him anyway? She shouldn’t be so hooked on a killer’s attention, but she is. And he knows it.

Her thoughts trail off to analyzing him, again. Probably for the hundredth time, despite how much she hates it. Everything about him is so wrong, because it’s so normal. He can be nice, funny, caring. It’s all a goddamn lie, though. He doesn’t care. He can’t. He’s a killer, he’s killed her, several times now. And each time, it’s only gotten worse.

Like a knife dragging up her spine, Brinley’s mind screeches to a halt. Panic surges, the shaking and trembling is much worse. She’s exposed- actually exposed- now. Her eyes dart everywhere, looking for that white mask.

She hears his sigh of satisfaction before she sees him, “Good, just making sure I’ve got your attention.” His voice is muffled, but finally he steps into view. He’s been hidden, probably watching her for at least a minute now. Bastard.

Her shaking is as bad as it could be, Brin swallows the ball of fear in her throat, only preparing to speak. Don’t say anything, yet, don’t set him off. This can be easy, just… Wait and listen.

He approaches so casually, stopping at the side of the rock, leaning against it. His hand pats the top of the dark stone, very politely asking- probably telling- Brin to take a seat next to him. With so much reluctance, she does. Her muscles tense, coiled like a spring, a bullet ready to fly; she’s ready to bolt. She wants to run away so bad, but being around him makes her crumble instead. She’s exposed anyway, running will only turn this into a very bloody discussion.

“You’re early, that’s good,” He comments, tone unbearably gentle. Before saying anything else, the mask comes off, and is set on the rock, “I’d hate to have to chase you down outside a Trial, really.”

Liar. He’s already done that.

Brin says nothing, her eyes are glued to the patchy grass. Only a hum of slight acknowledgment is let out, just to signal she’s listening. He has her full attention, well, her unharmed attention. It’s the eye contact that really hooks her brain. He’s terrifying. Something about silver eyes is so… Intense. It’s migraine inducing.

Of course that’s not good enough for him, though. No, the selfish prick needs more than her everything. Still maintaining the delicate demeanor, his finger nudges under her chin, bringing her gaze snapping up to his. The reaction is more than immediate. No touch, bad touch, she’s already overwhelmed. Fine, he wants 101% of her attention? He’s got it.

As always, his eyes pierce her, his presence digs into her soul. Like a magnet, she’s pulled in, regardless of the struggle she tries to put up. He looks too smug, too happy with how easy it is to throw her brain into a paper shredder. For a moment, he simply scans her, his face changes to concerned, worried maybe, “Aw, Sweetheart, why are you shaking?”

He should know why, “I- It’s… I’m just nervous, Jed, it’s fine.” Brin struggles to find her voice, when it comes out, it’s weak, just barely a few squeaks of an explanation.

The vibe changes, with it, a chuckle rumbles in his chest, setting her nerves on a razor's edge. She wants to run, to escape her own skin, but she’s locked in place by conditioning. Fear tactics and pain, but with the glowing lure of the catharsis of comfort. He’s able to turn on a dime, shifting from monster to some sort of guardian. It’s wrong, it’s so unbearably wrong and it hurts, but she can’t get away from it. No matter how hard she tries, “Relax, bunny, I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna talk.” He’s facing her more now, looming closer, “I’ve got a little job for you.”

A… Job? Jesus, what the hell does that even mean? The flicker of actual fear in her eyes makes him hum, “Don’t worry, it’s easy.” His reassurance isn’t convincing, “We’re both new here, aren’t we? Why don’t we help each other, then? All I need you to do is act as a sort of… Tracker.” Now she’s just confused, “Stick to a teammate, accidentally damage generators, don’t touch the totems if any are lit. Don’t waste your time trying to get them off hooks.” Ah, so he just wants her to lock herself away and be useless? Her heart hurts at the idea.

Brin’s eyes finally fall, her head turns away, her arms hugged tighter around herself, “I can’t.” She murmurs, finding speaking much more difficult, “I can’t betray them like that, I'm sorry…”

Again, the emotions in the air grow agitated, all this altering is giving the survivor whiplash. This conversation could go a lot faster if he just gave a clear order and left, but he’s never that simple. Quietly, a cooing hush comes from his lips, “Hey, it’s ok. They won’t know, they don’t need to know.”

… She shouldn’t feel relieved to hear that.

“I can just make them think it’s all me. They’re mean to me, Brinny. Them and the other killers.” Jed’s tone gets hurt, dull, melancholic, “Didn’t the other kids out there push you around? Help me out, sweetheart. In return, I can let you go more often.”

Cynicism mixed with the hatred of death makes this offer sound lovely. It’s not, it’s wrong. Everything about what they are is wrong. He’s a killer, a murderer and a stalker, and she shouldn’t be so willing to talk to him. To be near him with no one else around. Realistically, it’s horrifying, but in the moment, so many different emotions mix into something she can’t describe.

Is he even actually bullied by the other survivors? Sure, she’s not always there to see it, but she shouldn’t feel empathy so quickly either. Jed, being bullied? That doesn’t really make him seem scary, just pitiful. Her brain is tearing itself apart just to figure out what he’s trying to do. Is he trying to get her emotions? He already has that. Is he… Trying to seem human? Weak? Is he trying to earn her pity so she’ll help him? Or is he trying to make her dislike the other survivors? To dislike even other killers?

None of it makes sense.

She can’t answer, she can’t do much other than sit and fester in her own panicked confusion. She wants to know which game he’s playing so she can try and outsmart him, but the possibility of more than one game is what’s throwing her off. It’s already hard enough to constantly have to remind herself that she’s being played in the first place. She’s so desperate to feel something other than danger, and with him having given her that, she just wants it back. She wants the nice Jed, the Jed that serves as the personal bubble she lacks.

But this isn’t nice Jed. He’s scheming and plotting and if she threatens his plans, he’ll get angry.

And when he gets angry, he gets violent.

Brin doesn’t want violent Jed.

A brow is raised at her silence, his outward presence seems to get stronger just by him willing it so. How does he do that? He hasn’t moved an inch, yet somehow he feels so much more intimidating than before, “Ignoring me now, are we?” His tone is subtly scolding, that’s never a good sign.

It makes her practically jump from her spot, taking a wary step back just to have room to think. It’s so hard to think when he’s that close, all attention is glued to him just out of self-preservation, “N- No! Just… I'm sorry I don’t know… I wanna help, I do but-”

“But what, Brinny?” He asks, cutting her off sharply, “I don’t like it when you lie to me. You don’t want to help me, you just wanna make sure your little survivor buddies keep caring about you.”

Tears bite at the corners of her eyes. The air is hot, it’s thin but so heavy and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. She’s cowering, another step back, “J- Jed, no, please just listen.” Brin pleads, trying not to cry, “I can… I’ll help, yes, but- But I can’t betray them, I need to help them.” Ok, ok. Her voice finds a slight levelness, the shaking in it isn’t as noticeable. Her desire to help her true friends is helpful in combating the fear his now harsh stare inflicts.

But, like with everything good, it’s short lived.

He strides closer, brow creased in apparent irritation, “Who do you want to help, then?” He questions, “You can’t get greedy and do both, Brin. It’s them or me.”

God- she’s backing up as he gets closer, soon there won’t be anywhere else to run. The ultimatum is agony. He doesn’t have any right to do that to her, she doesn’t- she isn’t his item. She isn’t a knife, she’s not some tool. She isn’t a spy for his bullshit. Justified anger mixes with fear, leaving a bitter taste in her dry mouth, “Don’t- you can’t… That’s not fair, don’t make me choose.” Please. She can’t do that, she just can’t. That’s why she goes to the others to guide her.

Whatever she said, it clearly snaps something inside his head. His hand shoots forward, grabbing her roughly by the jaw and pulling her forward, “I’m giving you options here, sweetheart.” Jed growls, glaring right into her soul, “Them or me. Who can really protect you from the other killers?”

That’s not a rhetorical question. She wishes it was, though, because now she’s only got so many seconds to come up with an answer, “...You.” That’s not what she wants to hear. Sadly, that hardly matters now.

“And who can get you out of more Trials?”

“...” For a moment, her brain refuses to speak, only breaking under the pressure of his grip tightening on her jaw, “You.”

“Who can get you better food?”

It might seem silly, but food matters here. In a different way, obviously. It keeps the occupants of the Fog sane for much longer. Keeping sensations alive, keeping the concept of life itself alive, “You.”

Finally his hold relaxes, as does his posture, “I do. So won’t you just do this little favor? I’ll still let you go, Bunny, just make a few simple mistakes.”

Brinley can’t make herself look at him anymore. All of that mental training crumbles under the stress that his eyes bring. She could look into them all day, if only he wasn’t so goddamn terrifying.

Her hands instinctively grabbed onto his wrist, not even looking to try and pry him off, just clinging to support. Her stomach is tied into knots, those knots are in other knots. She’d puke if she could, but sickness is strange here. So, she’s left with queasy nausea. She can’t do this, not to them, she just- think of the good. The stories, the laughing around the campfires. The little celebrations after they all get out of a Trial together. Those little moments where they’re all just humans, suffering together. Calm silence, small gestures.

That’s what she should be holding onto, that’s the good. Not this, not a killer. If she just told them about what was happening, they’d help. They’d all be there for her. Right? How could she have even considered the concept of working with the enemy just to survive?

“...N- I just…” Her main objective is escape, just she’s not willing to pay the price. She can’t accept this offer, he’ll treat it like a bloodpact. It practically could be, given all the blood he’s drained from her. No, she won’t be trapped in that agreement, because if she fails at it, he’ll probably torture her worse than before. Worse than a mori. Nothing is worse than being the only one left in a Trial with him, “Please, I- I can help in a different way, I just need time to think.”

Now she’s done it.

Attempting to toss out another, much less scary idea is impossible. His hand shifts, clamping down on her throat. Her own hands grip his wrist harder, nails digging into the cloth of his shroud, “Tick tock, Brinley.” Shit. Full name. No nicknames. Never did she think she’d prefer to be called ‘Brinny’ over her regular name before now, “I’m not interested in anything else. You do this favor, or I’ll hunt you for sport, even outside the Trials.”

No amount of good memories can keep the streak of selflessness going. Trials are already hard enough, sometimes other killers already give her enough hassle. She can’t speak, but she can try, nodding as she does, “O- o… Ok. Ye...s”

The guilt is agonizing, but if she didn’t answer, he’d probably strangle her to death. Brin wants to keep the dying to Trials, as much as she can.

Her response seems to please him enough, anyway.

Jed hums, letting go of her neck, gently holding her face after she coughs and wheezes for a moment or two, “See? There we go, it’ll be easy, I promise.” He’s back to being sweet. Fear does something wicked to her brain. Sweet means good, no pain, no danger. Fear also makes her want to break down. No pain? Time to go looking for something secure to crumble against. He can see it, too. Fuck, he can probably even sense how close her brain is to shattering completely. Indigo eyes shine with overflowing tears, all it takes to make them roll down her face are more gentle words, “Hey, you’re ok, Sweetheart, you’re ok.”

She’s not ok, but she can be.

Swaying forward, her eyes squeeze shut, her shoulders twitch in tandem with muted sobs. Nothing matters anymore, she doesn’t have the energy to care about what she just signed off on, she just needs to hide. Jed is the only thing to hide against.

So, she lets herself break down. He’s been particularly good at putting her back together. And then tearing her apart. Over, and over, and over.

Though, maybe with this, that’ll happen less.

God she hopes so.

#Moments from the Fog;; oneshots/shorts #//not so short #//for some context on Brin and Jed's history.#//He pretty much just forced her into sabotaging trials to make his job easier #//and in turn; isolated her from the other survivors #//fun times #//cut for length

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smolie · 3 years

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in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

#again a heads up: this was written in december 2020 and there are a few names mentioned here that....i want nothing to do with anymore lol #like h*ndery of gfr*end #but i'm not gonna delete them because at the time i enjoyed their releases and no one knew they were ignorant asswipes <3 #also not me thinking i'm gonna get vaccinated this summer LMFAOOOOOOO #i can consider myself lucky if i even get them this year #german government my detested <3 #about me

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blasphemie · 4 years

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you know, @bumkeyz, i think it’s very nasty for you to say i have some kind of privilege in all of this. we don’t get to pick and choose who was affected by addy and her actions. just because you see the shit that we posted on tumblr, does not mean you have the full story. and i’m gonna be honest... fuck you and the anon in my inbox for making me feel like i MUST talk about my own trauma because if i didn’t, i was staying silent for her.

when i say my brain couldn’t handle this, it’s because of outside factors that i won’t get into and the fact i had the stark realization that i was in fact manipulated by addy. it’s been hard to come to terms with and all i wanted to do with that ask was highlight that i did not stand by her. but fine, you want the long post of it all, so here ya go.

here’s my story. my side of things. read if you want, or don’t.

tw : manipulation , guilt tripping .

i’m not going to pretend like i remember when addy and i met. all i remember is something was happening in the rpc and i was involved in some discourse and she came into my ims offering support. i was very leery of her at this point, as she had just come back from her stay with rpslayed. tumblr won’t let me reopen those ims now she’s deleted that old blog, but i know that i did reply. it went from that discourse, to the one she was having with B, someone that took advantage of her. and again, i have morals to uphold, so of course i went off about it. through all of this, i started to believe she had changed - which was a large lapse in my own judgement at the time, but we became friends. i wish i hadn’t NOW, but that’s not something i can change now.

i have a terrible memory as i’ve stated, so again, i’m not going to be able to give dates on this one either, but you know how there was an asterisked name in certain posts of her’s? yeah that was my name right up until her current boyfriend. me and addy had this... thing going. more of like a back and forth, will they won’t they. i wish it was as poetic as some wattpad fic because that’s where i begin to realize i was manipulated. the biggest thing i can remember is the whole situation concerning my best friend, who is also my ex-boyfriend. something that was truly one sided occurred between them and soon it was such a big thing that me and him were friends. one time, she did not even talk to me for days and would only add like an emphasis or thumbs down to my imessage texts ( idk what they’re called but you get me ) . i was constantly made to feel bad that my ex was my best friend, i remember once she found out we wanted to make a rp together and was all “im going back to bed”. i once made a post that said “you know it’s real if i send you tiktoks” and tagged him in it and that again, led to her ghosting me because she didn’t feel important enough to me or whatever.

i remember there was this time we didn’t talk for a certain amount of time, so i blocked her thinking we weren’t friends. and then i get this over cashapp.

i won’t lie. addy has given me money. she gave me money when i really needed it and i think that’s why i didn’t want to speak against her. because i didn’t want her to think i had just been using her for money because i know at one point that is what she thought of me. but anyway, at this point, i’m like oh so we ARE friends ? and i’ve just been thrown back and forth so much with her that it was normal to me at this point. so we reconnected. i think the guilt over accepting money from someone kept me by her side and kept me standing up for her.

people who know me know i’m not an active replier sometimes. i sometimes disappear for days at a time and come back. that’s just who i am. addy didn’t like this. i remember once she was mad at me because i posted a screenshot of something my friend said and again, i was ghosted. this is how even part of that went.

the entire thing is that i respect people’s boundaries. but this stemmed from a place of pettiness. this was the aftermath of that btw once i was softblocked.

things like this also occurred.

it felt like i was being PUNISHED for not replying. when i don’t reply, it’s not because i want to make someone not feel as if they’re not important to me, which is something she tried to say me posting a screenshot of someone else was me saying.

on the subject of the sexual jokes / allegations from other people : i had NO idea then that they were being made to everyone, especially minors. i thought it was something that was exclusive to people she liked. it became clear to me that she did make those jokes to everyone, but never, EVER to minors. please do not say i stand with someone whose said that shit to kids, because i would never. i’ve been at the receiving end of those and some were consensual, but not all, but i do digress.

ya know, i was always was to be blame for a failed almost relationship because don’t get me wrong, i did like addy. but i’ll also be the first to admit i am a VERY closed off person, but i still flirt with people a lot. but it was always pointed out to me that it was very clearly my fault, no matter if i apologized. it was always my fault. i always hurt her feelings ( to the point she would delete my number and contact entirely ) . it was just always, ALWAYS salt’s fault, she never let me forget that. i remember indirects were made about me such as this.

btw this right here, was made BEFORE the “who gonna tell me” post, which she ended up deleting and then posting those.

i remember even when i would TRY with her by saying hmu if you want to watch a movie, she would reply with “go ask [ex bf]” or when i reconnected with an flame she would say “whatever go flirt with [name]”. go do this, go do that.

but the kicker? she would always come back and act like nothing happened. and i would always be in such a state of whiplash with this. she would flirt with me again and i would flirt back because that’s what i was used to.

when she got in her newest relationship, it all kind of came to a close, except if i made a joke about it all, she would say i hurt her feelings and lash out about it all. i was STILL made to feel bad about it even when she was in a relationship.

i think at the end of the day, i should and WILL take full accountability for even becoming friends with her in the first place due to her past. i could’ve easily stopped all of this happening to me if i had not made that ONE decision. at the end of the day, i was still manipulated, i was still made to feel like trash over a failed relationship, and i let it happen because i had feelings for her AND she had helped me out when i most needed it. but i’ll be dammed if i let someone say i had a PRIVILEGE in this situation when i felt like i had to stay friends with her because of the money or because she would say some shit about me if i tried to not be friends with her. and while there is so much more i could pull up and show y’all, i do not feel like going through all of that. just know this pattern is what i experienced for upwards of a year or so.

you can believe what you want or feel how you want about me. it doesn’t change a damn thing that happened to me and i’m so, SO tired of being silent.

- salt.

#rpt #rpc #tags it so yall will see it ig #manipulation cw #guilt tripping cw #addy cw #anon is off btw bc of tht one i got while writing this

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fandomoneshots-imagines · 4 years

Text

Strength (Steve Rogers x OFC)

Warnings: language, slow burn, poorly translated languages, some smut in future chapters, Tony is a dick at the beginning, OFC has manipulative skills similar to Natasha

Translations are in parentheses and italics after each sentence.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what they were thinking when I walked into the room. I was probably the least threatening looking person ever. I liked pastels for fucks sakes. And I had a backpack as a purse that looked like a llama. I had two fucking bows at the ends of my braids for fucks sake

“Natasha, you’ve got to be kidding.” THE Tony Stark spoke up, pinching the bridge of his nose, “She’s a kid! Look sweetheart, thanks for coming in but we’ve got everything covered. We don’t need anymore help. Sorry for wasting your time.” He stood up and motioned towards the door. No one else said anything.

“Mr. Stark, please, I have nowhere else to go. I’ve been crashing on friends' couches ever since my parents kicked me out.” I looked up at him with big, innocent eyes. “They kicked me out because I ‘wasn’t contributing enough’ when it came time to pay bills. I was 18, a minimum wage job, and had no bills to pay.”

He stared at me in silence, trying to detect the lie, which he would never find.

“Tony, give her a chance. You gave Peter one and he’s younger than she is. Just think of the press when it gets out that she was rejected when Peter, the Spider-Man, wasn’t.” The Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, challenged from across the table.

“Fine. But you get a trial run, just like Peter.” Tony’s jaw clenched and he left the conference room.

“Don’t worry about Tony. He’s just been stressed out lately because of the baby.” Natasha rolled her eyes, “But let me introduce you to the rest of the team. This is Steve, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, and Vision. Everyone, this is Dove.”

“Where did you find this one?” Sam asked, obviously checking my body out.

Natasha and I just looked at each other, “At the gym.” We both said at the same time. Like we were actually going to tell them where she found me, besides it wasn’t a complete lie. Nat said she wanted to make a big spectacle out of me, which I really didn’t have a problem with. We would be saving the real story for a later time.

“Well, like Nat said. Don’t worry about Tony. We all like women.” Steve said and blushed at his words. Bucky and Sam smirked at each other, “I didn’t mean like that! I mean don’t get me wrong, I do like women a lot. I’m attracted to all the women!” He rambled and quickly had his own hand slammed over his mouth, with red waves of energy flowing across the table.

“What Steve is trying to say, but is doing an absolutely horrible job at, is that all the men here are very pro-woman. It’s very hard not to be.” Wanda smiled softly, Steve nodding along in confirmation with his hand over his mouth still.

“Well, anyway that was awkward.” Nat said and turned towards me. “Why don’t I show you around, show you to your room, then we have weapons training at 1:30.” She threw her arm over my shoulder and led me out of the room, as we got further down the hall we could hear the others yelling and laughing at Steve.

*Steve’s POV*

“What the fuck was that?” Sam yelled. I let my hand drop from my mouth and dropped my head to my hands.

“I haven’t seen you that nervous in decades punk.” Bucky laughed, “That double date with Jenny Pickens and Hazel Skylark.”

“That was embarrassing for all of us Steve.” Wanda added, “What got into you?”

“I don’t know. I started talking and I couldn’t stop!” I groaned. “I made myself look like a fucking idiot.”

“Yes,” the room agreed.

*original pov*

“Nat, this is too much. I’m not a very big person and I don’t have very much stuff. I can stay somewhere smaller. ” I looked around the room I had been given. It was actually it’s own apartment, although it was much larger than any apartment I had ever stepped foot in.

“No you can’t. This is the place you’ve been given. And actually this is the smallest unit.” She said with a shrug. I almost gave myself whiplash from how fast I turned around. “Come on, your bags have already been brought up. We’ve got training to get to. Since you’re new I arranged it to just be the two of us.”

Nat showed me to the gun range that the compound had set up, showing me other places as well. This place was huge.

“Do I have to use guns though? I don’t like the way they feel.” I scrunch my nose up at the weight of the gun in my hand.

“Absolutely. Sometimes it’s your only option.” She answered with a shrug. “Now, show me how you handle this gun and we will move on from there.”

I sighed, aiming the gun at the target and squeezing my finger on the trigger letting it fire into the target, each bullet hitting square in the center of the target's head. Once the clip was empty I pulled it out and laid it on the table, then stepping back with my hands behind my back.

“That was awesome. I’m gonna get a new target but put it further back. Do the exact same thing.” Natasha instructed and I nodded along, refilling the clip as she got a new target up, moving it 100 yards away. I took a deep breath and in a single breath, squeezed the trigger, aiming in the center of the forehead. Natasha brought the target back and smiled seeing the bullets hit their target.

“Perfect,” She gave me a sinister smile, “Now, how about we go to the gym? I could use a good sparring session.”

“I could too, but Nat, I don’t want to hurt you.” I looked down, wringing my hands together.

“Let’s see if we can talk to either one of our resident super soldiers into fighting with you.” She grinned and led the way to the gym.

“Can I fight the Winter Soldier?” I questioned, maybe a little too giddy.

“I would honestly love to see that.” She said as she pulled the door open to the gym. Sam Wilson was sparring with Clint Barton, Captain America was fighting with James Barnes, and Spider-Man was working with Tony on something. “Hey guys I brought the new recruit in to see how she would do with sparring.” She spoke out and all movement stopped.

“Spiderling, you’re up.” Sam called out. I looked up at Natasha as the skinny kid shot some kind of webbing from his wrist and swung over to where the two of us were standing. We both started shaking our heads.

“No offense to skinny but I don’t want to hurt him.”

“I can lift up to 10 tons. I’ll be ok.” He spoke and I shook my head in shock.

“Wait a minute, this is a kid?!” I screeched, my words receiving weird looks.

“I’m 16!” The kid under the mask screeched back.

“He’s like the same age as you. Maybe a little bit younger.” Tony joined us.

“Look, just spar with him first and we’ll move up from there.” Steve reasoned. I let out a huff but sighed and took off my jacket and shoes. Natasha came over and joined me.

“This kid is good. He can actually lift 10 tons. You’ll need to hold your punches. He’s able to sense things that may cause him danger so look for him to easily block the first two punches. Then start hitting him with combinations. He will try to pin you with his webs” She said softly so only the two of us could hear.

“I got this Nat.” I smiled softly, “I used to teach the kids at the gym how to box. By the way what’s up with those webs. Do they come out of him? And why a spider?” I started to ramble but Nat turned me away and pushed me forward, making me walk over to the mat and could hear Tony talking to the kid.

“Ok Under-Roo, you have to pull your punches. We don’t know what her fighting style is like or if she would be able to handle one of your full punches.” He told the kid. I rolled both my eyes and my shoulders and bounced back and forth on my feet.

The spider kid came forward and watched me with the eye holes twitching. I threw the first punches and, as Natasha predicted, he was able to sense where I was coming from. At one point he had webbed my feet to the floor so I wouldn’t be able to get a good swing in. He took the opportunity to throw his own punch, which I easily caught.

A gasp echoed through the room from everyone except Natasha. I smirked at the kid, pushed him away, and ripped my feet from the webbing then advanced, throwing a series of combination punches. He would continuously block the first punches but the second would come too fast he didn’t have any time to react. With the very last combo I threw a right hook, which was obviously caught, and brought my leg up in front of me, kicking him away.

However, with my kick I put too much force behind it and he went flying towards the wall, which he was luckily able to cling onto last minute.

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” I rushed over to him and he pulled his mask off. The kid had a dopey grin on his face.

“That was awesome! You’re awesome!” He said excitedly.

“Thanks kid,” I smiled, “I’m Dove. What’s your name?”

“I’m Peter Parker! But you can call me Peter. Or Parker. Nat calls me malen'kiy pauk.” He said, butchering the language, “I don’t know what that means but I think it sounds cool.”

I smiled and repeated the word for him in flawless Russian, “It means little spider.”

“Oh that’s so cool!” He smiled then whispered, “How do you say momma spider?”

“Mat' pauk,” he repeated the word a few times before saying it loud enough Natasha heard, turning her head quickly, and giving the young boy a fond smile.

“What the hell was that?!” Tony yelled, pulling Peter away.

“It was a sparring match.”

“It’s cool Mr. Stark. I got much more bruised up from Steve in Berlin!” Peter rubbed his chest, “That kick though will give me a bruise.

“Again, very sorry malen'kiy pauk.”

“She’s one of you isn’t she?” Tony pointed accusingly at Natasha who shook her head.

“I’m American, born and bred.” I rocked back on my feet the pivoted towards the two super soldiers. “Can I spar with one of you now?” I gave the two men an innocent smile.

“Ahh, look Dove. We would love to -,” Steve started to make an excuse but James interrupted him.

“Fuck yes! Let’s go ptenets.” He cracked his neck. (Little bird)

“Ptenets? Deystvitel'no soldat? Takoy unikal'nyy nik.” I smirked and circled around him. (Little bird? Really soldier? Such a unique nickname?)

“YA bol'she ne soldat. Prosto Bucky.” (I’m not a soldier anymore. Just Bucky.)

“Chto sluchilos' s James? On deystvitel'no umer, kogda upal s poyezda?” My words caused him to freeze, giving me the opportunity to attack. I put all my strength into a right hook, making the former soldier stumble back and shake his head. (What happened to James? Did he truly die when he fell off that train?)

“Amerikanets rodilsya i vyros, da?” He grinned then came at me, through calculated punches, all of the being right handed, which were easily avoidable. (American born and bred huh?)

“Da. Teper' davay soldat, ispol'zuy levuyu ruku. Ne sderzhivat'sya.” I smirked, although I knew it wasn’t a good idea to egg the soldier on, I didn’t want him to treat me inferior because I was a woman and half his size. “Zimniy soldat moya zadnitsa.” (Yes. Now come on soldier, use your left hand. Don’t hold back.) (winter soldier my ass)

I let go of the right arm I was holding and immediately had a left hand coming towards my face, blocking it less than an inch away from my nose. I turned my body against Bucky’s and threw him over my shoulder and sat on his chest.

“It appears that you greatly underestimated Miss Dove, Mr Stark.” A soft Irish voice spoke up.

“It appears so FRIDAY.” Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Now, would you kindly explain what the fuck is going on?”

“I’m a mutant.”

#avengers fanfic #marvel fanfic #steve rogers #natasha romanov #bucky barnes #tony stark #peter parker #marvel oneshots #avengers oneshots

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nitewrighter · 4 years

Note

Not gonna lie the furry shitpost gave me whiplash with how much it caught me offguard also angry juices all the way

Yeah like, I’m still chipping away at my fics in any way I can! It’s just... hard to get those big rushes of inspiration and flow because one, theres so little energy there, and two, when I do manage to muster up enough energy, it’s like a new thing hits, you know? And like sometimes by body and my brain are just... steeling themselves for whatever fuckery will happen next. I’m closed and clinging up like a barnacle in the tides. Like, it used to be that the stuff that stressed me out would fuel me to throw myself into writing, into creating, and that would help me process my stresses, but it’s just been...

I feel like I’m in a cheesy 80′s boxer movie and it’s taking literally everything just to keep myself on my feet. But there’s still this fire in me that says, “you have to create! You have to take the weirdness inside you and put it outside you!” and I’m like “Yeah! I’m a writer! I just have to write something! Anything!”

...and anyway that’s why you all saw that “Furry art commissioners are basically catherine de medici” post.

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astarryon · 5 years

Text

Better Off Chapter Two

Pairing: Klaus Hargreeves x Reader

Warnings: language, mention of addiction, gunfire

Word count: 6k

A/N: This one feels sooo long lmfao. A lot of stuff goes down in this one, and you get to see what Diego thinks of all this! Thanks for all the love, and I hope you enjoy! If you have any questions or comments, feel free to send them my way!

Chapter One

It wasn’t something he’d been prepared for.

Seeing you again... it came with a lot of complicated feelings. Anger was first, as well as most prominent, but that could only be expected, all things considered. It would probably be more concerning if he wasn’t at least a little bit pissed. Probably the most fucked up thing was that he felt hurt more than anything else. He didn’t much care that you had done what you had, it just bothered him that he hadn’t been enough of what you wanted for you to not.

Was that pathetic? Maybe. And it certainly didn’t change anything, either.

But then there was the other part of him — bigger than he thought it should be and surprisingly eager given the circumstances — absolutely buzzing with delight at the sight of you, if only because he could see it all. In your eyes, he found the warmth and kindness you used to wrap around him like a blanket. In your smile, there was that mischievous little quirk to your mouth as you told him not to worry so much about things he couldn’t control as he expressed concern over whether his father would catch the two of you together. In the way your hips unintentionally swayed as you walked toward him, he could see the first time you’d ever allowed him to run his hands over your bare skin, sweet and clumsy and shy.

As much as Klaus had tried to forget, it had been in vain. The sheepish beginning, the heartbreaking end, all of it was just... there.

That was why it hurt so bad, he was pretty sure. You’d been his first taste of desire — or, rather, wanting to be desired. Klaus had never known what it was to be wanted before you came along and insisted he allow you to be his best friend. He meant little to his siblings, even less to his father, and he had few delusions about those facts. And then you just appeared one day, far too happy to spend your nights in a mausoleum or use your power to walk up to his bedroom window if it meant you got to claim him. Why you had wanted a silly thing like that, Klaus was never sure, but he’d gotten used to it all too quickly.

“You’re staring.”

The words snapped him out of his reverie, and Klaus blinked hard. As his focus cleared and his sight came back, memories rushing away like some awful breeze, he found that his gaze had been trained on the bare patch of skin at the center of your collarbone. That had certainly thrown him for a loop back at the nightclub; years might have passed, but your image was still so clearly ingrained in his mind. The absence of that familiar silver shimmer had left an odd sort of ache in his chest.

But then, that ache had nothing on what it felt like to finally be able to touch you again.

“You look different,” he muttered by way of explanation. The last word came out wrong — like it was some kind of insult to be thrown at you. Klaus hadn’t meant it that way, but between the adrenaline from seeing you and his ecstasy high beginning to fade, he could hardly be held responsible. “I don’t... I don’t know. You just changed.”

He had to physically stop himself from adding without me to the end of that one. Between making you think he was hallucinating you and tricking you into that kiss, Klaus was pretty sure he’d used up his allotted guilt trips for the evening. Or, morning. Hard to keep track with his head spinning like it was.

Your eyes flicked over to his, momentarily holding his gaze before flashing back to the road. That distraction wouldn’t last long; there were only a few streets left until the two of you hit Diego’s.

“I didn’t change, Klaus,” you sighed. He liked the shape your mouth gave to his name, the slight annoyance overshadowed by hesitant fondness. That, at least, was the same as when you were children — one of the few things he could take comfort in. “I’m still the same, I just... I just grew up.”

And this time, against his better judgement, he didn’t bother to put himself in check.

“Yes, you most certainly did, bird.” Klaus reached over to run the pad of his index finger along the bare strip of your wrist; he didn’t miss the shiver you gave in response, or the little hitch in your breath at his touch. “You grew up and lived your life and you did it all without me. Just like you wanted, right?”

The GPS chimed to alert that the two of you had made it to your destination, but with as much tension as was filling the car, it may as well have stayed silent.

Klaus watched you open your mouth, then close it again. Words were at the tip of your tongue, just begging to tumble out of you like he remembered them doing before you’d gotten so careful, but after a moment you seemed to swallow them and move on. In spite of all that, Klaus noticed the whitening of your knuckles as you gripped the steering wheel tighter. Was it terrible that he could find delight in the fact you still had your temper.

Klaus watched you swing a hard left, neatly parking the car just off the curb. There was something there, in the set of your jaw, something that told him he was lucky you had been driving when he’d chosen to pick this fight. The initial shock of your reunion had gotten him out of the consequences for lying about the hallucination, and it was probably guilt that won him leniency with that earlier kiss. Distantly, he wondered how much more it would take to get you to slap him.

You leaned closer to him, jaw clenched and anger just barely contained. A shadow of your former self — volatile, defensive, and all too certain — was suddenly making an appearance. “Let’s get one thing straight,” you snapped, unflinchingly looking him in the eye. “You know fuck all about what I want.”

And then you were out of the car, slamming the door shut behind you as you stomped your way toward the entrance to the gym, not even giving Klaus so much as a chance to respond before you were gone.

Funny how some things never seemed to change.

—

It took you three tries to pick the lock before you successfully gained access to the boxing gym. Normally you wouldn’t hesitate to own up to that — it wasn’t your best skill, and never had been, but tonight? Oh, no. Tonight you had about as good an excuse as you ever came across.

Christ, Klaus was aggravating. More than, actually; that didn’t quite do it justice. The guy was mind numbingly infuriating. Did you feel bad for what had happened in the past? Obviously. Would you do anything you could to make that up to him? Of course. Did that mean you were willing to just lie down and freely take his abuse?

Fuck. No.

Klaus leaned down, chin just a few centimeters shy of resting on your shoulder. Part of you jumped at the sudden proximity, yearning for the familiar warmth of his skin. The other part was resisting the urge to elbow him in the stomach to get him to back off. Touch was fine, something he had needed since he was young, but he’d been abusing it tonight and had lost his privileges with you. “Want me to do that?” he slurred, hot breath fanning over your ear.

You grit your teeth, working the lock pick harder. “I want you to back up,” you muttered, trying to lean away. It was no use; your options were to press up against the door or lean back into Klaus. Son of a bitch had you trapped. “Do you mind?”

“You’re angling that wrong. It’s never gonna work that way.”

“Klaus,” you warned.

“Well, I’m just saying—“

The lock sprung, and you were on your feet and moving in, not bothering to wait for Klaus as he trailed in behind you. Tears of frustration were threatening to spring to your eyes, but you forced yourself to push them down. There wasn’t any time for weakness, especially not if you were about to throw yourself in front of Diego Hargreeves and simultaneously beg for mercy and assistance.

Besides... did you really have a right to be upset with Klaus? He was only speaking the truth, horrible as it was to hear.

“Where’s your necklace?”

You kept walking, falling back to let Klaus guide you in the right direction; you could see a lot of well used equipment and a boxing ring, but no sign of the knife wielding terror you were meant to seek out. Briefly, you wondered if Klaus was lying about his brother staying here, but you put that out of your mind quickly. This was Klaus, your Klaus. Even pissed out of his mind and bitter beyond belief, he would never steer you wrong.

“I don’t think now’s the time,” you mumbled, crossing your arms to fight your impulse. All you really wanted to do was hold his face in your hands and cry, but his behavior told you that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Not that you blamed him. “Why don’t we talk about that later?”

“No offense,” he drawled, pausing to whirl around to you. The sheer weight of his gaze was crushing, and you found yourself unable to step away. “But how can I be sure there’s even going to be a later?”

Fair enough.

“Klaus,” you sighed, staring up at him. It was all you could do not to reach out and grab his face, just to really drive home how serious you were. You would probably get away with it — Klaus himself had done much more than cradle your cheeks in the last hour. But, then, it was better not to tempt yourself. Wouldn’t have been fair to either of you anyway. “I’m not... you’ve gotta know I’m not abandoning you again, right?”

But he was already turning away, averting his gaze and closing himself off again. Jesus; with how quickly Klaus switched between hot and cold, whiplash seemed almost inevitable. “Well, you know what they say,” he called back to you, disappearing down a narrow hallway. “Fool me once and all of that.”

You followed in his direction, clenching your fists down at your sides. Was it wrong of you to be angry right now? It was hard to blame him for being skeptic; you knew that you were being sincere, but Klaus had no reason to think so. What was it, five years of good will that you’d thrown down the drain? Four years of friendship, one of love, and all for what? Because his father—?

A loud banging startled you clear out of your train of thought, causing you to jump three feet in the air; you thrust your arms out in front of you reflexively, choking on the swear caught in your throat. By the time you realized your power had been triggered, Klaus was held down by the force of it, slammed against the door he’d just been knocking on with his arms pinned above his head.

The expression he wore was downright miffed. “Alright, this shit was cool back in the day when we were kinky little shits, but I’m mad at you right now. Let me go.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, flipping the mental switch and releasing him. “You scared the shit out of me, okay, I just— just, sorry.” You paused a moment, just now registering what he’d said to you, and retorted, “For the record, you were the kinky one.”

“Oh, please,” Klaus shot back, absentmindedly eyeing you up and down. “I seem to remember someone getting a little too excited about the idea of fooling around in a cemetery.”

Jesus, you could not believe what you were hearing right now. “Okay, first of all, I was sixteen! I’d say that’s some pretty standard shit, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh, not when you can see all the ghosts watching you and your girlfriend try to—“

The end of his sentence was cut off by the sudden twisting of the doorknob. That was probably for the better; you definitely didn’t need a reminder of the stupid shit you and Klaus had gotten up to as teenagers, and especially not when you’d used those memories to torment yourself every night since you’d left. But, now? Now you had a whole other issue from when you were teenagers to deal with.

The wooden door opened, prompting you and Klaus to fall silent. Out popped Diego Hargreeves, half asleep and out of focus, but still just as imposing as he’d always been. Funny; where Klaus looked different from how you remembered him — too skinny for his frame, visibly exhausted beneath the heavy eye makeup, the gleam in his eyes you had always loved to see now missing — Diego looked oddly the same. Still well muscled, though not uncomfortably so, still poised like he was ready to start a fight in an instant, still handsome enough to get whatever he wanted.

It was pretty fucking annoying, truth be told.

He blinked against the harsh light of the hall, shielding his eyes with a hand that — notably — clutched a sleek, silver knife. He hadn’t noticed you yet, tucked behind Klaus as you were, and for that you said a prayer of thanks to whichever higher power had granted this small mercy. You could only imagine what his knee jerk reaction might have been if you’d greeted him instead of Klaus.

“You have any idea what fucking time it is, Klaus?” Diego grumbled, a powerful yawn possessing him suddenly. Distantly, you felt bad for dragging him out of bed at two in the morning; you weren’t sure what Diego had going on, but if he was anything like his brother, he definitely couldn’t have been getting enough rest. On the flip side, you were relieved, albeit for selfish reasons. Diego’s presence meant that you wouldn’t have to remain with Klaus in solitude, ensuring that there would be no more stunts that involved kissing, emotional turmoil, or backhanded guilt. “What are you doing here?”

Before you could even truly process what was happening, Klaus simply stepped back and to the side, wordlessly lifting a finger to point at you. He glanced between you and his brother, an awful smirk adorning his mouth as he watched the shift in Diego’s expression, realization dawning on his face as he worked out just who you were. A moment later, Klaus moved forward to step around his brother, entering the room and leaving you to Diego’s scrutiny.

Fucking traitor.

The flip in Diego’s demeanor was near instant, though you supposed you should expect nothing less from someone who spent their teen years training insistently. It wasn’t like you spent much time around Diego when you were younger — your days had always been explicitly dedicated to your relationship with Klaus — but you remembered enough to know that the way he was looking at you now was especially malicious. It was predatory and dark, fiercely protective and terrifyingly accusatory.

Everything Klaus deserved out of someone who cared about him, and unfortunately nothing you were able to give him yourself.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” Diego muttered lowly, crossing his arms over his chest and cocking his head to the side. Jesus; twelve years hadn’t made him any less of a self righteous bastard, apparently. “Where do you get off, showing up here like nothing happened?” You didn’t much care for the way the silver point of the knife was twirling idly between his fingers.

“No offense, D,” you sighed, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. Diego immediately bristled at the use of your old nickname for him; it was hard to blame him. Nicknames were familiar, for people who could be trusted, and you had done nothing to be worthy of Diego’s good graces in the last decade. Quite the opposite, actually, considering you’d torn his brother’s heart out of his chest and spat on it. Brushing past him and ducking into the tiny little room, you continued, “But I really don’t think I can do witty rat bastard tonight. There’s too much going on, and the sooner I catch you up, the sooner I can leave.”

“Oh, so you’re leaving again,” Diego spat, following in your steps. There wasn’t much space for that, but then, this was Diego you were dealing with. Dude would take any opportunity to be as dramatic as the situation would allow for. “Okay, well. Good to know you’re consistent, at least.”

You didn’t like what Diego’s tone implied. You understood why he was upset; really, you did. But you’d already gotten a massive load of shit from Klaus — who had taken it upon himself to not only pretend to hallucinate you, but had also kissed you in an effort to make you feel even shittier and insult your integrity further on the car ride here. In perfect honesty, you weren’t sure how much more shit from a Hargreeves sibling you could take; your quota was just about maxed.

You crossed your arms over your chest, biting your tongue. The old you, the one that hadn’t been swimming in guilt for the past twelve years, the one who had been just about to make an appearance while fighting with Klaus over picking the fucking gym lock, would have lit into Diego with little caution or remorse. He had been kind enough when you were younger, and had never said a word to anyone else on the nights he caught you sneaking in through Klaus’ window, but he was also a bit too judgmental for your liking. Would’ve been easy to knock him down a peg, but... well. Your heart just wasn’t in it these days.

“Something you wanna say to me?” you prompted when Diego simply continued staring you down. The words came out defensively, and you hated how guilty you sounded.

“Depends,” he shot back, matching your intensity. “You planning to fuck my brother again?”

“Well, if she is, it’s definitely not in the fun way,” Klaus called from the other side of the room where he was rifling through Diego’s things. It was easy enough to imagine the shit eating grin that would be present in his face.

You immediately winced, the dirty joke catching you by surprise, and you saw Diego grimace as he realized the misstep in his words. The two of you shared a mutual look of discomfort, and then the moment was gone like smoke in the wind.

“You know,” you whispered, glancing back at Klaus and frowning in worry. Not for the first time, you noted how worn out he looked. His words and actions spoke of eccentricity, but his face told another story entirely; that only solidified what you were about to do next. “Maybe we should talk abut this... outside?” Diego opened his mouth to protest, but you stopped him before he could. “Look, Klaus is really high, okay? And he... we had some issues on the way here. I just think we should wait to explain this to him until he’s a little more... you know, sober.”

Diego looked like he wanted to protest, but ultimately thought better of it. “Klaus,” he prompted, turning over his shoulder to eye his brother. You looked over as well, finding him propped against the wall, busting himself by absently and clumsily twirling a slim silver dagger between his fingers.

Oh, for fuck’s sake; with how high he was and whatever he was on, it was only a matter of time before he accidentally cut himself. Part of you instinctively wanted to chastise Diego for leaving the damn thing out, but you resisted. That shit wouldn’t fly, especially not in Diego’s own home.

“Maybe you wanna lay down?” Diego continued. You had to note the shift in tone, how much softer he’d made himself as he turned his attention to Klaus. That had to be new. You didn’t remember Diego being the biggest asshole in your youth, but he’d definitely never bothered to sugarcoat anything.

This, of course, begged the question — what the fuck had happened while you were gone?

“No,” Klaus responded, throwing the dagger up in the air and narrowly avoiding the blade biting into his palm. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Klaus,” you added before you could stop yourself. “I really think you should try and get some sleep.”

The resulting grin that split his face was both disingenuous and without humor. “No offense, sweetness, but I’m sure you’ll understand if I don’t take advice from you.”

Diego shot you a dirty look, one that clearly told you to back off. He took another step toward his brother, hands raised in a placating gesture. “Klaus, really. It’s late, and you should get some sleep. Y/n and I are just gonna step outside and talk about a few things. It really won’t take long.”

Klaus hesitated this time, and for a moment — just one moment, fleeting and breathless and earth shatteringly something — his eyes flicked over to you, and you saw everything. Hints of old affection that still managed to cling to his mind, fondness that was no doubt wilted but was still there. The look present in his eyes that split second, full of fear and wonder and childlike hope, it was... it was the same look in his eyes from the night you’d met. Not even on your worst nights, when all you could do was cradle yourself and sob as you imagined a better outcome for you and Klaus, not even then had you imagined Klaus could still look at you like that.

He didn’t hate you — he just needed time. It was a long shot, but maybe... maybe you could get it all back. Maybe you didn’t have to return to isolation.

Down at his side, Klaus’ fingers stopped fiddling with the dagger. When he looked at you this time, it was full on, and the emotion in his gaze had shifted to something you couldn’t quite name. “If I go to sleep, am I gonna wake up to you being gone again?”

Despite the fact that his question was a fair one, it seemed to cut you deeper than that knife in his hand ever could.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” you murmured. You tried to communicate your sincerity with your gaze, but it was doubtful that held much weight. Hard to imagine that Klaus could out any trust in you at this point. “I’ll be here as long as you want me.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Diego shot your way. You opened your mouth to tell him to mind his business, but he was already turning back to Klaus. “Look, I’m not letting her leave without explaining herself, okay? But please, Klaus, you don’t look like you’re doing so great. Please just rest.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, but also understood this wasn’t a fight he was going to win. This was something Diego and you happened to be united on. With as rare as the two of you agreeing on something was, Klaus didn’t have a chance in hell.

Klaus rolled his eyes, letting the dagger in his hand clatter to the floor. “Great, yeah, cool,” he muttered. He didn’t spare either of you a second glance as he moved over to the cot in the corner, flopping down and rolling over. “You two have a nice time fist fighting, or... whatever it is you plan on doing.”

He looked small, curled up as he was now, and you were once again reminded of that night in the mausoleum, as well as the many spent in his bedroom, the two of you twisted together until you couldn’t make out where your limbs ended and his began. Part of you wanted to go to him now and relive those memories, but you fought the urge. Klaus had to set the pace; he’d be nothing but defensive if you got too familiar faster than he was comfortable with.

Diego grabbed your arm, jolting you out of your thoughts with his touch. You tried to protest, batting at his shoulder with what little resistance you could manage, but it was no use. He was too big and well muscled, and before you knew it, he had you shuffling out the door of his room and was leading you over to the boxing ring in the center of the gym — a safe enough distance that Klaus wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation. Once he was satisfied, he released his grip on you and crossed his arms over his chest, staring expectantly.

“Talk,” he said simply.

You opened your mouth to speak, then closed it again. What could you say? How did you justify your showing up unannounced? What would make him believe this was all worth while? You couldn’t beat around the bush, not with something like this. You had to tell the truth — it was what Klaus deserved. No sugarcoating, no bullshit, nothing. That, at least, you owed to him.

Taking a breath, you swallowed once before leveling Diego’s gaze with your own. “Klaus is in danger,” you muttered, pouring as much concern into your words as possible. Absently, you hoped you weren’t coming off as desperate. “There are people out there trying to kill him. I came as soon as I could to warn you.”

For having just told him that his brother was in danger of the lethal variety, Diego appeared to be surprisingly nonplussed. “Okay,” he allowed, narrowing his eyes. “I’ll bite. Who’s trying to kill him?”

“I’m not fucking joking, Diego, this is serious,” you insisted. You should have known he wasn’t going to put much stock into your words. “A few days ago, someone left a note on my front door. Said something called The Commission was after Klaus and that they needed him dead. Something about him being a liability to their plans? I dropped everything to come here and warn you.”

Diego blinked, clearly caught off guard. Yeah; that was what you thought. “Klaus is harmless,” he told you, lowering his voice to a mutter. “They wouldn’t be worried enough to come after him.”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” you snapped, rolling your eyes. “Jesus, Diego, we’re not kids anymore and he’s your brother. Can’t you put away your shitty superiority complex for one second and worry about him?”

“I’m not—“ He cut himself off, clenching his fist and swallowing his words, voice becoming dangerously low. “I’m not doubting you. Not that you’d know, but Klaus... he’s powerful, yeah. Apparently always has been. But he’s no more use to anyone dead than he is alive, because his powers...”

The realization hit you like a sack of bricks.

“The drugs,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. Of course. He’d said as much in the car, had implied that he’d been using with how often he hallucinated you; he’d even branded himself a junkie, not that you had fully understood at the time. “How long has he...?”

“Since you left,” Diego muttered. There was something in the way he looked at you, the way his lip curled like he was sucking on something bitter. It was the same way you’d looked at yourself in the mirror every day for the last twelve years. Diego was... not angry, no; that wasn’t severe enough a word. Diego was downright livid. “You really did a number on him.”

Like you needed to be reminded of the pain you’d inflicted. Obviously you hadn’t been around to witness the aftermath, but Klaus’ emotional state couldn’t have been too far off from your own. Everything was the same; same pain, same depression, same burning hole in the middle of your chest. But for Diego to accuse you of being the reason that Klaus turned to drugs? That wasn’t a blame you were willing to let him lay on you.

“Okay, I said this to Klaus, and I’ll say it to you. I’m not responsible for anything he’s chosen to do since I left.” Funny; the words had been heavy on your tongue when you’d screamed them at Klaus in the car, but weren’t quite so weighted now. Maybe you were getting used to saying them. Or, maybe it was because you hadn’t actually done anything wrong to Diego. Either way. “There was nothing I could have done.”

“You could have stayed,” Diego shot back. “Honestly, what did you think would happen? Was he supposed to just forget you? You should have known he wasn’t stable enough to handle that kind of loss, especially not after Ben!”

Oh, he was dangerously close to provoking a fight. It wouldn’t do you any good — would probably only make things worse. But Diego had no idea what he was saying, couldn’t have known that he was giving a voice to the darker thoughts living in your head.

“Diego,” you sighed, trying to figure out how to word it all. “Do you honestly think that I wouldn’t have stayed if I was able? If I knew what was going to happen to him? I’m not a psychic, okay? I can’t see the future. He and I liked to get drunk sometimes, and yeah, we smoked pot like three times. There weren’t any signs that he was... I didn’t know he had the addict gene. I did my best to stay, and it wasn’t enough, but I never would’ve abandoned him to become a junkie if I had known.”

The humorless laugh Diego barked out was so similar to Klaus’ that the sound was jarring. They may not have been related by blood, but they were certainly brothers.

“You know something?” he prompted, leveling you with an unforgiving glare. It didn’t match your mental image of him, wasn’t quite on par with how Diego looked in your memories. Between the number that adulthood had clearly done on Diego and Klaus, it was hard not to wonder how the rest of the Hargreeves had turned out. “You were it for my brother. The way he talked about you, the way he started looking forward to spending every night in the mausoleum because you would be there? I used to think he was making you up because there was no way that any of my siblings or I could have something that good. Klaus got dealt a shit hand in life, but you were the thing that made it all just a little more worth it. You wouldn’t know — mostly because I never bothered to say it — but I was grateful to you. You kept him grounded.”

For a moment, Diego’s cold mask cracked, and you saw beyond the tough guy vigilante facade he was always careful to maintain. Beneath that mask was an attentive older brother, one who cared deeply for his troubled sibling and would chase after anything to make that sibling happy. Gone was the illusion of a rough, jagged exterior, of the implication that he wished you harm. He was just a concerned brother, pure and genuine. That was all this was.

“Klaus,” you began, swallowing hard and looking away, “was probably the only thing I ever looked forward to. Mom died when I was seven, so I got chucked into foster care and bounced around a lot. I couldn’t use my powers unless I wanted people to think I was a freak, so I didn’t tell anyone about them. Jesus, I mean, I literally had to trespass in a cemetery and break into a mausoleum just to make a friend. But after that...” You raised your gaze, showing Diego a genuine, wistful smile. “After that he was the entire reason I bothered to do anything. Klaus was the only person who actually cared how I ended up. My foster parents were fucking terrible, and the social workers were shit at their jobs. My teachers never said much to me when I stopped showing up to school half the time. Klaus just kept checking in, and eventually I got so used to it that the idea of him stopping was... fucking terrible.” Your tone became wistful, mind beginning to whirl with memories from your youth. “He was the only good thing I had. I’m not being dramatic when I say that.”

The silence between the two of you was heavy, and you realized you’d led Diego down a path that could only end in him asking one question.

“If that’s true,” he murmured, sympathy seeping into his words, “then why did you leave?”

The words sprang to your lips before dying just as quickly. Twelve years; twelve years you spent training yourself not think about what Diego was asking. Mostly just because living with what you’d lost was easier if you could put the details out of your mind, but also because there was some fear attached to what might happen if you decided to tell anyone the truth. But then, this was Diego, wasn’t it? If there was anyone who could figure out away around the repercussions, it was definitely him.

And, besides; you and Klaus were no longer children. There was no way the consequences could hold the same weight as they would have ten years ago. That, at least, was the one good thing about adulthood.

“I left,” you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut and searching for any spare scrap of courage you could muster. “I left because of your father.”

Diego blinked, stunned to silence. When he finally managed to speak, it was with confusion and disbelief. “My father?” he repeated. “What does my father have to do with—?”

The plaster of the wall you were standing in front of suddenly exploded, bits of paint and wood splintering with a loud crack and covering you in a cloud of debris. It wasn’t until Diego had tackled you to the floor a moment later, seconds before another explosion of plaster, that you realized what was happening — or that, had you been standing an inch closer to him, the first bullet would have struck you directly in the throat.

“You okay?” Diego shouted, shifting to shield you from the barrage of buckets shooting into the wall above your heads. “Are you hit?”

“I’m fine!” you called back, hoping he could hear you. This wasn’t the time for panic, but fighting it off proved difficult. “What do we do?”

Diego opened his mouth, but cut himself off at the telltale sound of a heart stopping click. For a split second, you made eye contact, exchanging unspoken words. Surely this was just some dual hallucination brought on by stress or lack of sleep. Surely you hadn’t actually heard that noise.

But then the sinister sound of metal rolling against the floor followed, and before you could really register what was going on, you and Diego were scrambling to evade the grenade, tripping over each other as you attempted to right yourselves.

He was screaming — you could hardly blame him. It was clear you wouldn’t be getting away in time, and though you’d managed to become tolerable to each other in the last few minutes, there were certainly other people you would prefer to die with. But you couldn’t worry about that right now — you didn’t have the luxury. Your fight or flight response was kicking into high gear, and if you didn’t focus, things would be ending very shortly for you and Diego Hargreeves.

For a moment, you couldn’t feel it, and you were genuinely worried your ability had faded from disuse. Thankfully, though, the familiar tug of your power began cinching your sternum, and you managed to solidify a large patch of air to use as a shield just as the grenade blew.

The force of the explosion added to the effort required to maintain your shield was enough to physically pain you. Preventing your deaths was easy enough, thank god, but the effort was too great and your skill level was lacking; at the tail end of the impact, you lost your hold and the shield dropped. The explosion itself was over and done with, but the stinging fire suddenly shooting through your leg meant you hadn’t managed to avoid the shrapnel.

“Fuck!” you screamed, pained tears springing to your eyes. You could already feel blood beginning to bloom over the fabric of your jeans.

This wasn’t right; this had to be them. Whoever was coming for Klaus, whoever wanted him dead, they’d finally managed to track him down.

They’d come to kill him.

“Diego, we have to—“

“Can you walk?” he demanded, cutting you off. The bullets had stopped for the moment, but that wouldn’t last; you could hear a gun being conspicuously reloaded off in the distance. “You need to find Klaus, you hear me? Both of you get somewhere safe and stay there. Meet me at the academy in the morning — do not try and go until daylight hits.”

You blinked hard, trying to comprehend Diego’s words, shove down your panic, and ignore the searing pain trailing up your leg. “What? What about you?”

“I’m gonna go get the son of a bitch shooting up my fucking gym,” he answered. He grabbed your shoulders and met your gaze. It only lasted a second, but his meaning was clear. “Find my brother. Tell him what our dad did.”

And then Diego was gone, slipping down the hall in the direction the bullets had been shot from. You called out to him, but your voice was again stolen by the pain in your leg as you made to stand.

There was only one thing left to do now.

—

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