#anyways time to shower
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Rotates swap au Wickerbottom in my head. Gotta love old women trapped in self imposed cycles of pain and regret
#rat rambles#shes been running on a thread for a long time but damn if the woodie incident didnt fucking wreck her#just when she was starting to find a bit more security and hope it all went to shit and Im not saying it was entirely her fault but.#it uh kind of was lol#like yeah she didnt know that things would go this wrong but yknow maybe it wouldnt have ruined her life as horribly as it did if she was a#bit more upfront abt what she was doing and didnt run away from the concequences of her actions immediatley afterwards#she had her reasons to act so secretly but they werent anywhere near a good reason to experiment on someone without consent#she and woodie get on slightly better terms later on in the constant but only slightly#its much more woodie tollerating her than forgiving her#and wicker does have things shes actually mad at him for but she doesnt feel she has the right to berate him#its a very uneasy aliance that mostly just rests on neither of them wanting the other dead despite everything#hey being with the rest of the survivors does kinda force wicker to actually get her shit together a lil#shes still not perfect but she also recognises that she has to at least try to do more than make herself feel more miserable day to day#she may not feel she deserves to escape this hell but the others do especially the kids so if for nothing else she at least feels obligated#to keep supporting them#she and wx also have some potentially interesting stuff with how they both fucked up someone they cared abt in irreversable ways#wx is desperate to shed themself of guilt while wicker violently clings to it#its wicker being stuck in a state of 'I can fix them' while also knowing that she cant rly judge or help them without being a hypocrite#idk exactly what I wanna do with them yet but I do wanna do smth since it has the potential I think#anyways time to shower
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Machi's Idea #4
The JL can't understand what's wrong. They did their best effort to honor the king of dead and celebrate accordingly with the most strict protocol. Yet the king seems equally dull and annoyed. The JLD knows what's going on but they decided to say nothing in the hopes that this would teach the JL a lesson. Jason tried to explain the situation but none of the "adults" (aka Batman) listened to him so he decided to get his point across by getting into a fist fight with the king. One hour later they are kissing and Jason is explaining to the JL that ghost bond through fighting.
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#Machi's idea#so apparently Machi don't wanna return to Tumblr#big sad#darn you purge#anyways#writing prompt#prompt#The King's partners are very pleased with the new addition#Batman can't believe his son was trapped in a harem#Is a policule tyvm#everybody is dating everybody at the same time and they all love each other#Jason is just happy that he gets to live a forbidden love cheesy romance with a king#even if he was welcomed with open arms into the family#he still likes to pretend and Danny loves to indulge him#shower thoughts
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Accidently cooked up a silly little au the other day that I am very much enjoying
gonna. talk about it under the cut because4 the FUCKING WORMS
OKAY so basically. literally everythign is the same except for the fact that. Ed got entirely yoinked instead of Alphonse. I dunno why that happens but. It does because I say so. Anyways. So this basically mean that Ed gets bonded to an armor instead of Al, and because I desperately wanted the secondary set of Armor to see some light I thought it would be funny to bond Ed to that instead.
I haven't fleshed everything out, but as I'm working on that I wanna add a few of the different things in here just because. And I still might tweak things if I think it doesn't make sense.
- Al lost his arm first, then traded his tongue and his eye to bond Ed to the armor, making him effectively mute. He's learned ASL and Ed has to translate for him a lot. Although in my hcs Al is a foodie so like. major bummer for taste buds. He likes fun textures and stuff though. I gotta figure out what problems this poses though so we'll figure that out.
- Al most likely is going to go into being a state alchemist just for the fact of staying somewhat close to the storyline and stuff. and I don't know, insert random reasoning in here. Yeah
- just a little design note. uhmmmmm I thought the cross thing on Ed's head/helm was cool and I had the bright idea of like "hey what if I put the emblem like. through the cross yk" and I might not do that. But at the moment it looks cool to me. so yeah.
I'M STILL TOYING WITH THINGS. . . I have to figure out what happens and designs and stuff. but yeah. I think that covers. what I have for now. p sick. scuttles away
#uhmmm. fuck I'm not entirely sure which things to tag bc I've been referencing the manga for a lot of this. but fuck it we ball#fmab#fma brotherhood#fma manga#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#fma au#alphonse elric#edward elric#yeah lets go with that#Spenxer Lou Art#lou is an artist#Honestly this is. kinda like a role swap a little but. But not entirely. and probably not too original but I'm having fun#Anyways. I have to say that the first time I realized there were two sets of armor#It literally never left my mind I've been constantly wondering like what would happen if al was put in the other one idk#But then I accidentally made this AU in the shower where Ed gets yoinked instead of Al#so then I was like HOLY FUCK I CAN YSE THE EXTRA SET OF ARMOR#which. holy fucking hell. I've literally have two single fucking panels to reference from. which is hell. but I fucking love it#anyways. uhm. yeah teehee
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When I came across that "joke" from Tav to Quill and Z'rell's comment (plus Halsin), I had to take a minute to process what happened. Gale might be a bit silly and eccentric but he's the kindest, sweetest and most passionate character in that party. No wonder the poor man has deep insecurities to solve, so many people reduce him to an easy target! Ofc one of the side effects would be overconfidence and ambition as a defense mechanism. He's obv lonely; only Tara and Morena ever loved him for him.
his eccentric nature might be a part of it. he is loquacious, outgoing, and doesn’t see the point in hiding his enthusiasm. he is considered to be the weird one. naturally, wizards in general being seen as somewhat squishy and physically weak might also add to it.
personally, i really don’t like the implications of the (widely considered) autistic-coded character being the one who faces the most ridicule by far by other characters and fans (and larian) alike.
some might disagree with me on that, but i don’t find it funny by any means either. mostly it just makes me feel bad. “he deserves it. cocky, arrogant, hubris-ridden wizard needs to be taken down a peg” like he isn’t… y’know… already at his lowest. it also disregards the fact that much of his bravado is part of his carefully curated Great Wizard of Waterdeep™ persona that he has skillfully adopted to mask his general feeling of being defective. being fiercely proud of your skill and knowledge and being doubtful of having something truly worthwhile to offer are mindsets that can coexist. according to fandom, gale is either secret hubris incarnate that is only waiting to be unleashed upon the world or pure baby that can do no wrong. instead of a character that is just as flawed and traumatized as all the others, but no less deserving of genuine love.
to me, the constant ridicule just reads as further feeding into his deep-rooted insecurities and his belief that he (as gale, the person) isn’t someone who holds inherent worth. it really, really doesn’t sit well with me.
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3#baldurs gate 3#but then again i believe that fandom still has a hard time grasping his character as a whole#we always talk about wanting complex and complicated characters that contain multitudes#but once we get them we don’t know what to do with them#and proceed to try our hardest to reduce them to a few select traits#gale is a kind and good-hearted person. that is not up for debate.#anyway gale deserves people around him who respect and cherish him and are genuinely supportive#protect that wizard and shower him in all the adoration. he needs it.#and i get you anon!!! i also really wish we could call out our companions & npcs#my tav would always keep a spray bottle on hand just in case#someone is being mean to gale again? [pssssht pssshhht] u stop that right this instant#on that note i also don’t like the undertone tav has when they have the option to talk about gale to other parties#what’s with the hesitancy and the derisive undercurrent???#am i supposed to pretend that my tav wouldn’t turn into the personification of the will smith meme whenever they had the option to#talk about their bf/husband???? lies and slander#larian critical#it speaks
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well, i was going to wait to formally announce something when i got the time but i’m a bit irritated that the first thing i see when i log in is this ask
^ to answer your question anon, idk why you’re following if that’s what you feel 💀 respectfully, unfollow and never interact with me again. and this goes for everyone else who has left nasty asks in my inbox demanding me to update. my priority is law school and family, not to update fanfics that i don’t get paid for. this is something i do on the side for fun, it is not a job nor does it help me secure my future. spend less time demanding free work from people and spend more time working on your own future. it quite literally should never get to the point where you’re demanding strangers on the internet to provide you with fanfiction and insulting them when they have other things going on—seek help. that is weird.
but on a more serious note to everyone who has been respectful & kind about it—i don’t think i’m gonna be able to update anything until winter break, i apologize to everyone who has been waiting patiently, i promise i’m not abandoning heliotropes but it will not be updated for at least a month and a half. my workload has skyrocketed the past two weeks and my professors are warning us that it’s only uphill until after finals when we get our break. i need to be focusing on work, i barely even have the energy to answer messages from ppl right now.
^^ so if you are here for just my writing, this is the time to leave. i’ve been very vocal about this not being a writing blog. it is just my blog. if you only want writing, unfollow and find it in the tags.
i am going to be closing my inbox to prevent more asks like this because it’s rude and it’s not something i want to deal with. officially on semi-hiatus.
#tw discourse#i guess#i’m just irritated#i did not want to see that as soon as i log in#but anyway#i will try to post more like regular posts so i don’t disappear off the face of earth but#they’ll be sparse#i literally am so busy i only texted my bf like a dozen times over the past week 😭 i feel so bad#i’ve been taking like#an hour and a half a day to decompress and relax and even then i don’t even have the energy to write#i caught up on jjk manga and anime#i’ll lyk what i think about it soon#but anyway i have to go shower and get ready for my 4 o’clock class
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impatient
#rgg#yakuza#tachibana tetsu#kiryu kazuma#tachikiryu#art#if i had a nickel every time i rendered a shower scene lol#anyway.#i think gay men.#they kiss and they also have (redacted) tumblr will remove me from the tag again if i say it#i also think tachikiryu real#idk what tumblr policy is on this amount of skin idk we will see
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idk what this says about me psychologically but one of my regularly reoccurring anxiety dreams has me moving into a new place (either a flatshare or uni accommodation), and after i pay the (extremely expensive) deposit and finalise all the paperwork, i get there and discover that my room doesn't have a door, and when i say, "hey guys, not to rock the boat or anything but how come my room doesn't have a door?" my new flatmates are all like "whoa, SOMEBODY's a big fan of doors, huh? what do you need a door for? got something to hide?" and i'm so embarrassed and nonplussed by this that i end up just agreeing with them because i don't want to look like a freak. i have this dream about twice a month and it always has me jolting awake in a cold sweat
#in the more extreme versions of this nightmare my room doesn't even have walls#just a shower curtain or a folding screen#anyway that queer housing post gave me pause the first time i saw it bc it legit felt like someone had conjured my nightmare into being#be shh now
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it’s the sound that tips him off.
it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.
just a ghost.
he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.
mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.
he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.
he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.
mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.
clear.
another small victory.
mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.
the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.
he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."
riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.
"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.
he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.
he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.
riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.
"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.
he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.
he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.
riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.
he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.
he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.
"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.
he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.
mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.
he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.
he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.
a low sniffle.
mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.
he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"
he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."
his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.
he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.
"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.
mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."
"prom'se?" he pushes.
he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."
riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.
"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.
mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."
he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.
#drug use#tw drugs#guess whos back on her 09 shit#its me bb!!!#anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy#if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on#mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it#hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done#hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from#mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening#more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers#and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe#riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head#he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how#this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more#ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender#the whole point of them is to forget#he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime#if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body#but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#talk to me ghost#we’re a team. ghost team#09 soapghost#09 ghoap#soapghost#john soap mactavish#soap cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod
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felt like immortalizing this interaction I had on my drive home this evening
#guess who looked away first#anyways i haven't unpacked yet but i Did have a shower so overall full success time for bed#doodles
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i think it'd go like this lmao
whole version
#I FUCKING WIN!!#suck my dick hell-app#ANYWAY#this would solve all their problems#i think they almost always do it in this general configuration#unless charlie starts committing to showering#but sometimes dennis makes charlie wait to start on mac for a bit so mac doesn't bust too soon#i have posted like 5 or 6 censored versions of this drawing trying to get it through#and i finally did it OTL#it's not even going in the fucking tags lmaoooo#whatever it was out of spite towards the end#machineasks#machinegoods#machinequarantine#also sorry anon i lost your actual ask when this got flagged the first time
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Cannot stress how much I adore early morning study sessions on rainy days. A staccato of raindrops against my floor to ceiling bedroom window, scattered biochem and physics notes, that heady petrichor floating in, birdsong in the distance, my desk bathed in watery light. I am literally nothing more than a lone figure in a live Polaroid. Never take me out of this moment
#Was being HARASSED by friends to go out last night but I put my foot down bc the last time I did I was not having fun the whole time#I did have a party phase earlier last year but idk I wanna keep to myself rn. I j wanna chill & study what I love and do 68 face/hair masks#Tn will be a hot girl shower ft my shower playlist#And I will have FUN doing it#Doesn’t make sense to go out during Ramadan anyway esp bc I’m trying to fast most days
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The way my partner deals with my Sleep Token Obsession™️ while not being a fan himself ✌️To his credit he actually listened to the whole song.
#sleep token#song blood sport#bloodsport (1988)#worshitposting#my partner has heard blood sport at least 3 times before#not including him hearing me badly singing it in the kitchen or shower#i don't know how he never noticed the crying before#anyway i may finally have a new iphone in time for the tog rituals
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I just realized something about my childhood.
My dad, coming home from work: Why is your backpack still on the stairs and not in your room, where it belongs?
Me: uuuh, forgot about it.
My dad, predominantly autistic: You just have to establish a routine, then this doesn't happen! Look, when I come home, I put my shoes here and take my backpack there and I always do it in this order and then nothing can go wrong!
Me, 12 years old, predominantly ADHD and unmedicated: *blinks in confused silence because I don't even have the words to explain how much I can't just do that*
#yeah uh about that. dad we're both neurodivergent but in slightly different ways.#this is why my backpack now simply lives in the hallway#actually adhd#adhd#kaj rambles#autism#my dad isn't diagnosed mind you because my parents a) were raised in the gdr and b) didn't 'believe' in adhd/autism for the longest time#but this is the man whose father used excel sheets to keep track of his skat game stats#and who gets *very* into obscure topics every other year#anyway had a revelation in the shower#to delete later#maybe
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After the rain... & it was all quiet as we headed home, down the cobbled street.
#normally on a summer Saturday evening this street would be busy with tourists#there's an old pub halfway down... as well as cafes... a church at the far end... a couple of small museums#anyway this time of year we are continuously dodging visitors taking photos of the lane!#but today we had a sudden & rather heavy rain shower which made everyone dash back inside!#apart from Flynn & me - we hid under a tree in the woods until it mostly dropped off#then scurried home before it started again!#flynn#border collie#dog#lane#england#cobbled street
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they'd never put it in the show but I'd genuinely kill for captain to get like really comfortable calling himself gay esp with slurs in the way we tumblr girlies do like. I'd do anything for him to be giving some more decorating advice and alison be like "wow why are you so good at this" and he goes "well it's simply my untouchable faggot swagger"
#like him being like 'everyone listen to me and my incredible gay ideas'#big 'fuck off janet im not coming to your fucking baby shower' 'move im gay' energy#i need him to be a little more cunty and a little more slay#thank you and good night#they would never write it in but im giving ben willbond a personal pass to say the word fag.#they could even make it a funny british joke because cigarette or w/e.#bbc ghosts#pat: how did you know that would happen? cap: hm. simply the queer power of being right all the time.#'what is this homosexual agenda the people on the television are mentioning- i would very much like a schedule'#anyway i love him.
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Yall know how danny ends up with an Ice Core instead of lightning and we are all mostly salty about it? Im here with a theory to give us some imaginary closure.
Ghosts can’t have cores based on how they died. Ember fire? She actually died of food poisoning.
Skulker (even though I think hes just a blob and never was a like person) is a hunter? (Not really a core but stfu) Activist for the nature and just fell into a cave and died of dehydration/starvation.
Walker the warden (not really a core power more like obsession again)? Got hit by someone running a redlight while he was jaywalking.
Johnny really unlucky? Killed by a his college professor.
Why these some what random things? It’s what could have saved them from their deaths without being overly pointed to them (aka causing trauma)
If Ember had cooked that food longer she probably would have not even gotten sick.
If Skulker knew anything about the wilderness he probably would have figured out that even though the water in the cave is moving it’s still not safe to drink smh.
If walker or that driver had followed the laws then he wouldn’t have died
If johnny was just a bit more unlucky to have missed the shuttle bus or to not be the random student that teacher picked he would have survived.
Im like 10% sure ice could have some how saved danny too but idk man. My brain says that ice conductive and would have some how saved that dingus. Maybe if Danny was a little bit cooler he wouldnt have tripped and hit the on switch lmak
#danny phantom#ember mclain#skulker#walker#johnny 14#stupid hc#im boiling my brain in a shower atm#trip is sad cause I feel so bad for canceling an evening I planned with my dad cause he was so hyped for it#but he keeps hijacking all of our time and it kinda sucks#it’s just three days and I only came to eat at one place dad#sorry not sorry I am not here to visit you#why sont u visit me since u make 6figures hmmmmm 🤔#hes so desperate too cause out of my siblings im the only one to talk to him#and I told him to die once so like it’s sad for him#I don’t feel bad for that though#he did me pretty wrong when he kicked me out#anyway#ignore my tags
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