#anyways that's just how i feel about truncation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caligvlasaqvarivm · 1 month

Note

ik you mentioned interest in writing out how you'd prefer homestuck ended (though obviously time and money makes that impossible lol), and you touched on it in your big eridan essay at the end, but would you ever consider maybe a more detailed outline? i really enjoy your thoughts on the characters and the abandoned plotlines, i'd love to get a little more of an in depth look at how you wish it went down.

Yeah sure!

For those who aren't sure what the hell I'm talking 'bout, please check out my blog and the various essays I've been writing.

Some of it is contingent on stuff I kind of still need to reread so I'm really sorry to the alpha kid likers but I'm still not totally 100% sure where I want to take them. I'm also going to include quite a few personal preference ships; I'm not interested in arguing what other people should ship or about arguing about the course of action for my dumb fanfic in general. I also tend to discover the plot I want while I'm writing it, which I don't have the luxury of here, so... some of it is going to be kind of sloppy. I'm also a big troll stan so unfortunately the kids are a little bit neglected (sorry!!!!). That said.

So the changes would take place directly after GAME OVER, which is personally the point at which I think the truncation/turning on the fanbase really starts - ships start to get turbo-sped at that point. I'm not even saying I dislike JohnRoxy or JohnRezi, but they just feel oddly rushed the way they're handled in the comic itself. IMO, anyway.

There's not too much I would rearrange during this interstitial segment; I think it's important for Jade to have the experience of loneliness, for Terezi to kick off the retcons by only feeling comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Moreover, there's no reason why other characters can't use her mind beacon abilities to ask John to rearrange the timeline, though their attempts, because they aren't backed by Seer of Mind abilities, are a lot sloppier and come with a lot more unforseen consequences.

But something I would change is that Roxy's deal with Nyx is not to just kind of... sit back and chill in non-space while John does all the work; instead, like Rose in Davesprite's timeline, Nyx puts her to sleep, and when the timeline ceases to be, GameOver!Roxy's memories get transferred to Past!Roxy via her dreamself (which wakes up early), fulfilling a "stealing from void for others" aspect of her abilities, and leads to some important interactions later on down the line.

Also, this timeline's ARquiussprite and Gamzee's corpse (heretofore referred to as (ARquiussprite) and (Gamzee)) need to come along for the ride somehow. Maybe they fall through the sky after LOLAR crashes into LOFAF.

This kicks off a series of retcons, as each troll that gets brought back successively asks for another troll/set of trolls to be brought back. This absolutely RIDDLES Act 5 with password pages, can't go two steps without running into a password page, there are password pages within password pages (which IMO is very funny and very Homestuck).

Meanwhile, a couple other plots are running concurrently - the GameOver!crew (heretofore referred to as (Name)) are now in the dream bubbles, completing their character arcs and preparing to defeat LE. Because time and space are weird in the Furthest Ring, every successive meteor trip that occurs as a result of John's retcons is the first time from the point of view of the meteor, but is a repeating event from the point of view of the people in the bubbles - eg those dead god tier Eridan and Feferi wind up healing the Mayor like seven times from their perspective.

(Aradia) is fluttering her ASS off to make sure everyone is in the right "place" at the right "time" for this, lmfao.

Roxy gaining future memories also means that the Alpha kids get to complete their arcs in a way they weren't able to prior to Game Over. Because what John's retcons are doing are functionally whiting out and redrawing the past, the Alpha kids are also only seeing a single linear timeline.

One last arc, which is running concurrent to the retconned!trolls and their new meteor trips, is that bringing back each successive character allows them ALL to grow a little more. So it is NOT like they bring back Vriska, and now everyone's problem are fixed and everything is fine; Vriska's still kind of awful, but she gets better after Tavros gets brought back and they have to character develop alongside each other, and same when Aradia and Sollux get brought back, so on and so on. Because it's about BEING FRIENDS and BEING A TEAM. They're all still having interpersonal problems right up until ALL of them get brought back.

But as a side effect of this and the questing done by the GameOver!crew, the Dancestors get more fully utilized as foils, and get their problems addressed. As the retcon!team goes through their character development, they start to tear the Dancestors apart, because the Dancestors represent shitty parents who force their kids to clean up after their messes, and refuting them works both literally and symbolically as rejecting their irresponsible way of being in lieu of responsibility, accountability, empathy, and compassion.

So here's the series of retcons, and the absolute bullshit that accompanies each decision:

Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent herself from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.

Pretty much just what her canon iteration asked for; I don't see any problems with the actions she asks John to do for her.

HOWEVER, we'd get more than just a montage of Vriska's time on the meteor, because in this version of events, we're taking our time and letting plot points breathe. Neither does she magically fix everything just by being around when she's very much herself still going thru it by the time the Meteor trip pops off. In any case, she brings with her some new complications:

Karkat still winds up having to play moirail and keep Gamzee calm. This still ends up breaking down by the halfway point of the comic, because they're kind of just not good for each other, but Karkat's personal shitty relationships are going to become A Theme, so it's important to make note of it here.

Vriska and Terezi don't fully make up on this iteration of the trip, since from Terezi's point of view, she was still actively about to kill Vriska before John intervened; however, we get more hints, now that they have to spend three years together, that not only does Vriska really miss Terezi (which is pretty well-established, given how she can't seem to leave Terezi alone), but Terezi actually misses Vriska, too - she's just really bad at separating her own feelings and desires from her instinctive grasp of karma and justice, a very Mind player-type problem to have.

At least with Vriska around, Terezi's able to nip her Gamzee habit in the bud, but this kind of leads to Gamzee feeling worse and more alone.

Something Really Messy happens between Vriska, Rose, and Kanaya when Rose starts her drinking habit, and it's pretty toxic for all involved, and Karkat is kind of stuck playing auspice. Vriska already expresses not liking Rose much and develops some flushed feelings for Kanaya after being watching her murder Eridan, so "It's Really Messy" is kind of all I can say on the matter. The girls are fightiiinnnnggggg

Dave and Terezi get close again, but given the weirdo vibes he notices between her and Vriska, and the fact that he's really not down with quadrants (YET.), means they still end up not getting together.

Sorry DaveKat likers but I am not one. They do not ever get together, so if you are hoping for that, I am sorry and you don't have to keep reading if you don't want to, it's OK.

On a note about Vriska and Terezi - personally, I do think their moirallegiance is endgame; Vriska clearly misses her terribly, constantly trying to bug her into making the Scourge Sisters a Thing again, and she even expresses feeling really bad about the Team Charge Debacle to Terezi explicitly, before directly foreshadowing how awful Terezi will feel after killing Vriska:

AG: Cause even though you got all these highfalutin morals and fancy reserv8tions, you know as well as me that a killer is a killer is a killer! AG: There 8n't no ch8nging your ways for good, and one d8y you're going to flail that silly l8ttle cane of yours and not find n8thin to 8ump into, and fall f8ce first into the shit ag8in. AG: And you're going to do something t8rri8le to some8ody and wish you could t8ke it 8ack 8ut you c8n't!!!!!!!! AG: And then you'll work hard to win 8ack their trust, and you'll try and try and tr8, and you'll see how hard it is! AG: You'll seeeeeeee!

We know that she starts using 8's where they don't make sense phonetically when she gets really agitated, so it's pretty safe to say that she's displaying genuine emotional distress here. When combined with the way she tells John about feeling absolutely horri8le about killing Tavros, it's pretty clear she's genuine about feeling really bad about the Team Charge debacle, and sincere about wanting to somehow make amends and get back into Terezi's good graces, at times trying rivalry, at times trying to prove that she's trying to fix her mistakes.

Terezi also vehemently denies them having a kismesistude and directly mirrors Vriska's hesitance about all the murder:

GC: W3 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO R3V3L 1N BLOODSH3D 4S W3 GROW UP GC: 4ND SH3 S33MS TO B3 3MBR4C1NG H3R R1T3 OF P4SS4G3 W1TH R3CKL3SS 4B4NDON, 4S 1 WOULD 3XP3CT GC: GR4BB1NG TH3 BULL BY TH3 HORNS, SO TO SP34K GC: 1TS 4 L1TTL3 1NT1M1D4T1NG GC: B3C4US3 1M NOT SUR3 1F 1M R34DY FOR TH4T

AG: On my world, I would 8e completely vindic8ed for killing him! He is far lower on the hemospectrum than me. He managed to disrespect me time and time again, 8ut I kept letting him live! In fact, the amount of slack I cut him would 8e considered scandalous 8y those in my class. AG: I had every reason to kill him. And yet... AG: I feel 8ad a8out it like a lame weak fudge8lood, just like he was. AG: And the fact that I feel 8ad is why I'm sort of freaking out right now!

They're basically two toxic girls who CANNOT be honest with their real feelings, and wind up hurting each other. They need therapy badly, but given the fact that they also mirror each other positively - Terezi feels grateful to Vriska for blinding her, and Vriska mentions she ought to thank Terezi for killing her, which set her up on a date with the dead John Terezi also killed - I think they have a lot of potential to be genuinely kind to each other once they work through their individual issues.

Anyway. We're keeping the Roxy stuff under wraps for now - last we saw of her, she went to go see her denizen, and her planet exploded, and John was really bummed about it. HOWEVER, we are going to check in with our GameOver!crew, although only lightly for now:

Meenah and (Vriska) have fully disappeared, and (Tavros), (Nepeta), and (Feferi) are looking for them because they've got the FUCKING TREASURE???

Everyone else from the Game Over timeline has landed in the afterlife, to varying degrees.

Shortly after entering the afterlife, (Eridan) fucked off somewhere to be alone. Last anyone heard from him was (ghost!Sollux) and him being Erisolsprite, but neither (ghost!Sollux) nor (alive!Sollux) have seen him since Erisolsprite died in Game Over.

(Karkat) is also brooding off on his own, feeling really shitty and sorry for himself. He's always felt personally responsible for everything going wrong for his team, and now that his team is basically entirely dead, he feels extra shitty.

Mostly just setting up that these guys are still relevant to the story, despite now being (irrelevant).

That brings us to the second retcon. Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.

Tavros is back.

Vriska's requested fix is a very simple one - after all, Karkat makes mention about how Vriska's always had a competitive streak with Terezi, admiring/being jealous of her ability to manipul8 people; I think an ultimate culmination of that is her insisting that insisting to John that he do a retcon to stop her from killing Tavros - which, as covered above, she regrets greatly - but to do a much sloppier job of it, simply having John pop into [S] Wake and knock Tavros the fuck out.

Vriska herself doesn't believe this will have any unintended side effects, because her opinion of Tavros is still really low despite her genuine desire to make amends, and she's wrong.

Tavros's stay on the meteor has a major effect on Gamzee. I'm not entirely sure how it would pan out exactly, but I think Gamzee would step in between Dave and Tavros, into a situation none of them are happy with. This starts Tavros on a path of realizing that his inability to stand up for himself not only hurts him, but people he cares about (Gamzee, whom he ghosted).

Vriska is mostly uninterested in Tavros now, as the moment has kind of passed, and Terezi keeps getting on her ass about going after him (which brings the two of them closer).

Previous Messy romantic situations are still active. Karkat is going thru it.

Dave feels bad about tormenting Tavros but he kind of can't help himself, especially because Tavros keeps going up to him for some reason. The fact that he gets trapped in an auspice with Tavros and Gamzee kind of reinforces that he does NOT vibe with troll quadrants. Dave becomes MORE xenophobic.

On a note regarding Gamzee and Tavros: while I generally try to avoid relying on Hussie's commentary too much, as he likes to play his cards close to his chest, his note about Gamzee in the Act 5 book is actually significant enough to me to include:

The best explanation for why Gamzee says he's scared of Vriska, in my opinion, is this: he's flat-out lying. It's a good way for him to maintain his cover as 'Soft Gamzee.' It also provides some ammunition for those who, against all sense of good taste and judgment, want to continue to believe and assert that Gamzee is a decent guy with sensitive emotions and vulnerabilities before he undergoes his Muderstuck awakening. He was none of those things, ever.

Hussie likes to play coy, and you can't really trust anything he says after Act 6 because he's fed up with the fandom, but I think this comment comes early enough, and is made assertively enough, that it can be taken at face value. I know that "Soft Gamzee" is actually extremely popular in the fandom, so this may be controversial, but I do think there's more evidence for him being kind of nasty and manipulative than not, and having that always be a part of him brings more cohesiveness to his character. For example, he seems to have a pale crush on Karkat, trying to assert that Karkat is his best friend and changing the topic when Sollux gets brought up and he recognizes Karkat is closer to Sollux than him, and if you read his first log with Terezi as if he's hiding being nasty under a soft veneer, then his comments do read as pretty passive-aggressive.

TC: yOu KnOw HoW iT iS wItH fAmIlY. GC: NO, NOT R34LLY! GC: 4DURRRR DURR DURP TC: Oh YeAh... ... TC: I sPaCeD oUt, DiD yOu KnOw HoW bEaTuFuL tHe SoUnD oF tHe OcEaN iS? TC: hAvE yOu EvEr EvEn SeEn ThE oCeAn? TC: oR i MeAn SmElLeD iT... TC: SoRrY. GC: >:[

Maybe most damningly, his narration calls dealing with Eridan's genuine emotional distress "indulge emotional theatrics," an implication of his true feelings. Karkat and Eridan are heavily foreshadowed to be moirails, and Gamzee seems to have a pale crush on Karkat. What does Gamzee do in this conversation? He chases Eridan away from comforting Karkat - using the same excuse as he uses to avoid dealing with Vriska.

CA: put kar on TC: UuUuH, i cAn't rEaLlY ThInK AbOuT InTeRvEnInG, tHe bLaCk fRoWnInG MoThErFuCkEr kInDa sCaReS Me

Moreover, he does NOT seem to like Jack comforting Karkat instead, either.

THIS IS NOT TO SAY I DON'T THINK GAMZEE ALSO DESERVES A SHOT AT KINDNESS AND REDEMPTION. Gamzee is clearly a very troubled youth, between his absentee lusus, his indoctrination into a fundie doomsday cult, and his sopor usage. The fact that having his faith shattered by Dave makes him snap implies that, one, he was already unstable and teetering on the edge, and having his faith fucked with was the last straw, and two, that until he lost that last shred of hope, he was still pretending to be nicer than he was for a reason, and given that his LE worship doesn't start up until after the snappage, I think it can be extrapolated that that reason is that he genuinely wants to get along with his friends.

Given that Gamzee's issues largely stem from his neglectful lusus, it's not a stretch to say that Gamzee does not take well to abandonment and isolation. So here's kind of where Tavros comes in:

Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. I call it interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. Moreover, in their first conversation together, Gamzee explicitly praises Tavros for his "gumption" for stealing his clown nose, when Tavros's avoidance of his problems is one of his biggest personal issues. So yeah, personally, I'm all for moirallegiance.

But Tavros started ghosting him after Gamzee offered to make out a little, another symptom of his avoidance issues. I'm sure that, even in this meteor trip, the fact that Gamzee killed Equius and Nepeta really scares him. In his conversation with Terezi, Terezi outright says "NO WOND3R V4NT4S C4NT ST4ND YOU"; Equius is constantly yelling at him; lots of people on their team seem to genuinely just sort of dislike him.

CG: MIRACLES ARE LIKE POOP STAINS ON GOD'S UNDERWEAR. TA: eheheh makiing fun of people2 reliigiion2 i2 the be2t thiing two do.

So having one of the few people he does really like also ghost him probably did... bad things to his mental health. Especially so when said person wound up dead. But now that he isn't dead, I think they have a shot - they just need to address their personal problems. Tavros with his avoidance, and Gamzee with his resentment toward the world, and reliance on substances and religion to take the edge off. In this meteor iteration, that doesn't quite happen - their toxic auspicetism succeeds in letting them air out their dirty laundry to the audience, but doesn't bring full reconciliation.

In any case, this meteor trip is fairly short, and uneventful from the dream bubbles side, although I do think Tavros should get a talking-to from (Tavros) about real self-esteem and self-worth.

Still, being back in contact with Tavros again, even if in kind of a messed-up way, does make Gamzee start to reconsider some of his past actions. This brings us to:

Gamzee Asks for Equius and Nepeta back.

Gamzee's not as nice as he lets on, but he does genuinely care about his teammates, and for the people he really cares about, like Karkat or Tavros, I think he's willing to stick his neck out. Bringing back Nepeta and Equius is more for Tavros than himself, really, because Tavros is scared of him for doing that, and he motherfuckin' misses Tavros, okay? John mostly agrees because he's kind of scared of Gamzee.

Some really fun stuff starts happening this go around.

The Gamzee-Tavros situation becomes resolved because this time, Equius steps in as an auspice between Tavros and Dave, and this auspicetism is COMPLETELY HEALTHY (with the bonus of being extremely funny, and what is the point of a Homestuck ship if it is not deeply funny).

Gamzee and Tavros are able to enter into a totally healthy moirallegiance once the auspicetism builds up Tavros's self-confidence, much to Karkat's relief.

Being stuck in the auspicetism makes Dave go crawling back to Terezi on his hands and knees. I'm sorry, Terezi. I'll do anything if you take me back. Just don't let me die as the guy stuck in a threesome with the two worst trolls. Dave has overcome his xenophobia.

Dave and Terezi becoming official does make Karkat sad, however, so when Nepeta finally works up the courage to confess to him, he accepts the offer to date her, thus fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date him after she dies.

They also break up. We're keeping up this trend of Karkat and his disastrous relationships. He's still involved in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska drama, too.

With GamTav and Dave/Tavros/Equius cinched, Tavros and Vriska reach a sort of truce with each other. Not really friends, since they kind of still dislike each other, but Vriska would genuinely be glad to see Tavros getting more actually confident, and muster up the energy to genuinely apologize for almost killing him, so there's a sort of mutual respect there now. Vriska and Terezi are even closer because of this, but still not fully over their problems.

On the topic of the Dave/Tavros/Equius auspicetism: Dave still can't stop bothering Tavros, but the lewdness of it sets Equius off, so he feels like he has to intervene. Dave also can't stop himself from bothering Equius, which ALWAYS BACKFIRES, and since Tavros has a weird fondness/rivalry with Dave, he'd find it within himself to ask Equius to back off (which would work, because of Equius's... Equius). And every time Equius gets too overbearing toward Tavros, Dave feels COMPELLED to intervene, because he's like, my fucking god, you are the two worst trolls, why must weirdos fight. Dave desperately wants out, but he can't stop staring at these two.

And weirdly enough, it's beneficial for all of them. With two people to yell at him for being weird, Equius becomes less weird. With a rival in Dave and more contact with Equius, Tavros becomes more confident. And Dave has two people to rap against and feel good about his art with, something he more or less had to deal with alone during previous trips.

On the topic of Karkat and Nepeta, there are quite a few implications that they wouldn't necessarily work out. For citations, let me just link my Nepeta essay, where I go over what the comic says about their relationship from a storytelling perspective; here, I'll talk about their relationship from a more interpersonal perspective.

Karkat's signals are mixed as fuuuuuuck. While I don't necessarily think this will be an issue for Nepeta, as - as a Heart player - she's preternatually gifted at understanding motivations, the thing is... I think Nepeta can do better, and deserves better, a sentiment echoed by Jasprosesprite^2. She certainly deserves better than being second to Terezi, at the very least, even if she states she likes his outbursts.

And the thing is, Karkat is pretty explicit about saying that he doesn't return her feelings; in a world where they date, there's always going to be a sense that she's his second choice. And, just... my girl deserves better, okay? Moreover, while he respects her personhood, he's also pretty nasty to her when he DOES talk to her, implying he doesn't necessarily respect her choices. And also, she's actually really bad at shipping, so there will be this extremely weird tension of like... a hobbyist vs. a professional. I don't think Karkat would be able to stop himself from mocking some of her shipping choices if she ever opened up to him about that.

But I think them getting together is important for Nepeta, developmentally - I talk about this in my essay for her, but shipping is something I think she does need to outgrow, since it's kind of a replacement she's using for her loneliness. Moreover, I say in that essay that the issues she has in her moirallegiance with Equius warrant relationship counselling - and that's what Karkat is uniquely qualified to dispense, as the team's Blood player. Although they end up not working out, Nepeta would take several valuable lessons from this relationship - that she's kind of bad at shipping, that Equius is being kind of a shithead to her, and that she needs to start making friends with other people.

Now then. We're finally getting into some drama in the bubbles.

Please imagine for me Equius and Horuss talking, and Equius being aghast at the way Horuss is so derisive towards his matesprit and moirail. Now imagine him pulling a mic out of nowhere and rapping at him about how his problem is that he does not respect his partners. Now imagine Tavros and Dave joining in, also out of nowhere, with Tavros adding bars about how the hemospectrum is, not a good thing, he thinks. And Dave adding bars about how he does not have a fucking dog in this race. He's not even a troll. He doesn't understand their hemospectrum. Let him out of here. The fine fucking art of Alternian slam poetry. I think Horuss would start crying. So would I if three people including my grandkid started rapping at me.

Nepeta's uncanny emotional acumen leads to her wanting to befriend Damara, but being unable to speak her language.

GameOver!crew is up to something, IDK, probably showing (Tavros) inspiring people and rebuilding the ghost army, to tell a parallel story to Tavros becoming more genuinely self-confident.

We check in with the Alpha kids, too, who have some group therapy sessions led by Roxy.

Vriska and Tavros confront Rufioh together, a final culmination of their no-longer-enemiesship, and together, they steal Rufioh's ones. Like, Tavros starts speak1ng w1th ones, something he always had in him, and they also roast Rufioh so badly that he stops speaking in ones. But the way it's presented to the audience, Vriska outright just says that Tavros should steal his ones. And Tavros does. This carries over to successive retcons, as it's implied that Tavros just kind of starts naturally being more confident as healthy relationships are established sooner and sooner.

Anyway, a final note about Equius - his problems are mostly due to being sheltered. Although he is probably the most casteist highblood, he's not really that casteist, as what's really going on is just that he's got a BDSM kink. But because he's sheltered, he does not realize that it's a kink. And a fetishist who does not realize that they're a fetishist has more power than God.

His protectiveness of Nepeta does come from a good place; preventing her from playing FLARP was actually in her best interest, given what happens to people who play FLARP. But he's very much going overboard with it, likely an extension of his own lack of understanding of how much sheltering is good and how much becomes detrimental. What he really needs is for someone to point it out to him, which I think he gets via Nepeta or via Karkat, and then have a reaaaaally long think about it. He's genuinely a polite and helpful soul, who doesn't WANT to make people uncomfortable. The auspicetism is very good for him in this regard, as is his moirallegiance once Karkat talks him and Nepeta through their issues.

The point is, once he's forced to reckon with the fact that the degeneracy is coming from inside the house, I think he'd have a LOT of regrets about the way he treated Aradia. Which leads us to:

Whoops That Robot Thing Was Really Inappropriate Huh

Equius approaches John to ask him to make Past!Equius reconsider the Aradiabot Thing. John's getting kind of impatient with all these trolls who keep asking him to go back through time, but given that everyone seems a little happier each time, he can't help but agree.

So he goes back to the past, before Equius can give Aradia her robot body with the love chip in it, and something really fun gets to happen here: first of all, Equius's Void status makes him really hard to place, so John winds up missing by a bit, time-wise, so Aradia's already in the body. This is the first time that retconning!John and Aradia have been in the same place together, and when she meets him and finds out that he can time travel without causing paradoxes, she demands (with her Aradiabot deathmurderkill intensity) to be taken back in time to before she died.

John's retcon powers explicitly ignore the usual rules of paradox space - he describes it as a "fresh start". Given that Breath is associated with choices and freedom, his retcon powers are kind of the ultimate culmination of his abilities as a breath player. Although doomed timelines can and will still result from paradoxes caused by players when John isn't there, anything he directly interferes with is totally a-okay.

So all Aradiabot asks him for is passage back in time, in order to sanction her interference in the past. After she dismisses him, she still more or less has to adhere to events in the original timeline, for two reasons - the first being that she doesn't want to risk a new doomed timeline, and the second so she can keep the timeline predictable.

So even though she's basically asked for passage to the time period before SGRUB, it's basically outright stated that the progression of events has to be more or less the same, up until the point where John's other retcons take place. So here are the cascading effects of Aradiabot preventing her own death:

Aradiabot takes Aradia's place in the Team Charge debacle, being blown up/"killed" (as a sprite) by Sollux's eye beams, so that she can take Aradia's place as Doc Scratch/the Handmaiden's servant and "carry out" their orders.

Meanwhile, Aradia seeks refuge with Equius, whose void powers keep her hidden from Doc Scratch's omnipotence.

Because Sollux never actually killed Aradia, and Aradia communicates with him via Equius's account, Sollux is less depressed and self-loathing. He no longer predicts a future where all of them die and he has to be blinded. It's left deliberately vague whether this future comes to pass because he's less pessimistic, so his Mage powers are calling a happier future into being, or if his future changed, so his Mage powers are prophesying something new.

Nepeta starts regaining memories of alternate timelines and past retcons, as an extension of her Rogue of Heart powers. This includes the relationship counselling she received from Karkat.

Between Nepeta and Aradia yelling at him, Equius's character development starts sooner, so he's squared away for future events, and ends up not making the creepy Aradiabot, making a non-creepy one instead.

Aradia and Equius do not strike up a relationship, and become uneasy enemies/friends.

Aradia secretly god tiers well in advance of Jack's arrival, and meets him at Derse rather than awakening on her crypt there.

Aradia and Sollux continue a loving matespritship, leading to Sollux settling into a moirallegiance with Feferi. He's devastated when she dies, which still happens along with the rest of Eridan's freakout; Aradiabot doesn't intervene because she's needed for:

Aradiabot winds up being the one to sacrifice herself piloting the meteor, allowing Sollux to stay with the rest of the team when he meets up with Aradia, (Aradia), and (Sollux) at the Green Sun. Aradiabot winds up with the GameOver!crew.

With the 1337 hackers back in commission, Sollux and Roxy are able to establish a server connection with each other, allowing them to communicate during the 3-year meteor trip.

Aradia involves herself in the Rose/Kanaya/Vriska Mess, and I kind of can't decide what I like better - a vascillatory pitch/flush threeway between Rose, Kanaya, and Vriska, now that Vriska's near the end of her character development, with Aradia serving as a stabilizing force as Kanaya's on-again off-again moirail, or Aradia stepping in as an auspice. Either way, it's out of Karkat's hands.

This has a knock-on effect of finally giving Vriska the chance to fully make amends with Aradia, which winds up cinching the Vriska/Terezi moirallegiance. The scourge sisters are back baybee. And between a healthy moirallegiance for Terezi and a healthy moirallegiance for Gamzee, I think pitch Terezi/Gamzee could work as a healthy ship this time around. I'm not married to it, but they did always seem to hate each other well before SGRUB.

Nepeta has LEARNED HER LESSON regarding dating Karkat, so that does not happen.

Karkat now has no quadrants. He winds up desperately throwing himself at Sadstuck Sollux to try and help him get over his breakup. It's not a good look. Sadkat. He also takes up talking to the alpha kids for emotional support, which puts them off, too. Still gives really good relationship advice. He's clearly one of the more unstable members of the retcon!crew at this point.

We're light on the dream bubble drama this time around because of how MUCH is happening for the retcon!crew, but there's going to be a reference in there of Nepeta learning East Beforan.

SO. NOTES TIME.

Aradia expresses outright that she hated the feeling that she was set up and that she wishes someone would have stopped her from being so reckless. And although she seems to find some satisfaction in being the stewardess of the afterlife, there's clearly some resentment there that she's been forced into that role, as she expresses that what she's really looking forward to is watching it all break apart. There's also kind of an orphaned plot thread where Aradia is spending a lot of time in the afterlife putting knowledge together, which never really directly pays off except to the audience, and I think a really good way to bring that back in would be for her to be communing with (Aradia) in the dream bubbles in order to make sure the timeline flows as smoothly as possible.

As for Aradia/Kanaya - they're actually really good friends, and Aradia expresses that she's flattered that Kanaya wants to talk to her so much. There is a tone here that matches the way Vriska thinks about Kanaya when Kanaya is still ostensibly Vriska's moirail, and Kanaya herself admits to being attracted to people who are reckless. In fact...

AA: i just wish AA: back when i was behaving recklessly AA: i had s0me0ne t0 tell me t0 st0p listening AA: even if i ended up ign0ring their advice AA: it w0uld have been nice

GA: It Must Be A Certain Madness Im Afflicted By GA: To Orbit Those More Reckless And Dangerous Than I And More Daring For It GA: I Guess I Want To Help Them But They Never Can Be Helped It Seems

So I'm just kind of saying... Aradia and Kanaya moirallegiance... is not entirely unfounded. And a moirail stabilizes a troll's other relationships; if we have a moirail for Kanaya and a moirail for Vriska, then the Mess that is whatever's going on with Kanaya, Vriska, and Rose would probably resolve itself, I think. Either way, Rose is surrounded by SUCH a girl's night of emotional support to help her with sobriety now.

As for whatever's going on between her and Equius, I tend to believe the comic when it tells me relationships don't work out, and Aradia expresses regret for kissing him during the Ministrife. I think they could be good vitriolic frenemies, though.

Okay, onto Sollux.

In the same panel where Eridan and Karkat are implied to be "hatched for each other" pale-wise, Feferi and Sollux are foreshadowed in the same way:

They also spend a LOT OF TIME curled up in a pile together talking about their feelings, which we don't see with matesprits, but we DO see with moirails. Nepeta and Equius do the same thing, and they are kind of THE moirails. So I think Sollux and Feferi were always meant to be pale, but because Aradia died, Sollux wound up taking Feferi on as a matesprit instead. Between EriFef, SolFef, and GamTav, people getting flushed and pale feelings entangled is like, a Running Thing, so it's not really surprising to me.

Now, here's the thing. We already know that Sollux likes to cope with a rebound, since he went flushed with Feferi after Aradiabot exploded and was presumed dead. And Karkat cares very fucking much about Sollux, to the point where Gamzee speculates that he's actually Karkat's best friend, and Karkat even calls him that (although Karkat also kind of just calls anyone his best friend, lol).

CG: GAMZEE WAS MY VERY GOOD FRIEND, WHO WAS THIS GOOFY LOVEABLE BULLSHIT CLOWN UNTIL HE WENT PSYCHO AND KILLED SOME PEOPLE. I LIKED HIM A LOT. CG: I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS MY BEST FRIEND IS REALLY JUST THE GUY WHO I HAPPEN TO BE FEELING MOST SENTIMENTAL TO AT THE MOMENT, IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME.

This crab's got so much love in him. In any case, I mostly just want to keep sticking Karkat in these extremely unhealthy relationships for a while. It makes it sweeter when he finally winds up with Eridan LIKE HE WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO... but yeah.

Cross-session communication is also entirely possible, as Sollux set up chat clients between the trolls and the kids in the first place, and even without that, Kanaya found Rose's old GameFAQs on a server in the Furthest Ring. With both Sollux and Roxy on the case, there's no way they can't somehow establish communications way sooner.

Regarding Nepeta regaining her memories, let me once more point you towards the Nepeta essay. She's on track to become the one who attains Ultimate Selfhood, and comforts people like Jade and John about not really knowing their friends or being lonely.

But yeah, obviously Sollux asks for Feferi to be brought back.

F-EF-ERI!!!! 38D

Mostly Sollux just asks to be prevented from provoking Eridan so harshly. Eridan still winds up blowing up the matriorb, and thus, still getting killed by Kanaya in retribution, but this means that Eridan is now the only member of the team left dead.

PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP. PITCH FEFNEP

Pitch FefNep leads to Feferi letting slip something casteist where Sollux can hear; he doesn't personally care because he's heard much worse, but puts them on a break while she sorts herself out. They get back together after that.

Karkat alone :'( he's mostly just talking to the alpha kids at this point, trying to hide from all the happy fucking relationships happening all around him.

If the last retcon was really heavy on the retcon!crew, then this one is much more about what's happening in the bubbles. We get most of our dancestor development this go around. Do not read if you like the dancestors! I go very in-depth about how most of them are horrible people on purpose here, so their arcs are mostly about them being pulled up on their abject awfulness.

Nepeta, who has learned East Beforan, is able to talk to Damara and have an earnest heart-to-heart with her about how awfully she was treated. They hug and cry. Damara, finally validated, gives everyone a big middle finger.

Feferi heals Mituna's brain injury, because literally why the FUCK has nobody else done that. Now once more in control of his faculties, he breaks up with Latula, pissed off that she took advantage of him all those eons to boost her own ego. He also gives everyone a big middle finger. Damara steals her skateboard and high fives Mituna.

Porrim's basically the only dancestor who grew as a person so I think she mostly escapes unscathed.

Latula gets chased around by Sollux and Aradia, who basically just bully her for being bad at games. This is a date to them.

Gamzee completely refutes Kurloz, with his newfound clarity about the real miracle being friendship and the real dark carnival being the world he and his friends will build, not that LE noise.

In a double team between Terezi and Rose, Meulin gets eviscerated for the way her own Issues have made her ships deliberately awful, that she could have simply Not, and she has a bit of a breakdown.

As Feferi is grappling with her privilege and internalized casteism, Cronus wanders up to try and hit on her, and she goes "oh my god... when people look at me, are you what they see? A friendless loser that nobody likes? A total waste of seawater who's only pretending to be cool with the lower castes? A totally fake poser? 38(" Cronus just goes "..." and starts crying and Feferi ends the convo oblivious to that, just going "wow... thanks for talking with me! really gave me a lot to think about" imagine how funny it would be -

Karkat finds and talks to (Eridan), where he fully admits to missing the guy. His mopiness is so extreme that (Eridan) takes issue with it and punches him, before basically yelling at him to get his shit together. Karkat then yells at HIM for him to get HIS shit together, and they both leave, intent on getting their shit together.

We also get an update on Vriska and Meenah at this point, where Meenah is starting to seem more into how they totally ditched their responsibilities than Vriska is.

So the thing with this update is that most of the trolls have sorted their shit out; even Karkat has had a lot of introspection about how he really just fucking loves his friends and should have been more honest about it, not worried so much about appearing weak or lame. With the double Aradias in play to kind of handwave that the timeline will be stable because they're ensuring all loops get completed and all necessary conversations happen, and with everyone's successful relationships on display, we can kind of truncate the next leg of the journey:

Karkat Fixes Everything

Karkat is the Friendship Troll. Karkat is the Romance Troll. Karkat is the Bonds troll. He is their team's Blood player, and as the Blood player, he's been shown to deeply love all of his fucking friends - yes, even the assholes. Maybe even especially them.

As such, it's vitally important for the last push - last leg of the journey - to belong to Karkat. Where would our Blood player be without his bonds? Well, we actually have the answer to that. It's knocked out and prevented from joining in any of the important boss battles. LAME!

So in the last retcon, Karkat hears from Nepeta about the retcons that have been happening, and he really starts digging through his own past. If every retcon so far has been each troll only feeling comfortable undoing their own personal mistakes, then what of the guy who feels personally responsible for everything, all the time, forever?

Look, I'm not saying that a shipping chart saves Homestuck, but... by the time this last retcon is through, every Alternian troll is alive and god tiered. And he is dating Eridan.

If you have any questions about him dating Eridan, please refer to the link above. That essay is nearly as long as this one. There's SO MUCH FUCKING FORESHADOWING.

I don't think the god tiering needs to be explained, because if we hear that Karkat basically made his past self a shipping chart, and we've seen everybody's character development as they've gone through this journey, and we have Aradias on timeline duty and Nepeta with memories of past retcons and her alternate selves, I think we can more or less gloss over exactly how they go about earning their wings while maintaining timeline integrity. The important thing is that Karkat is dating Eridan now.

Because that leads to the last few bits of dream bubble stuff, but before we get into that...

Miscellaneous Plot Things That Need To Happen But I Don't Know Where To Put Them

Yeah there's just some ideas that I have floating around that need to be placed somewhere but IDK exactly where, or exactly how they shake out.

Hal becomes a real boy. And by that I mean as part of their character development, Jake makes Hal "real" a la brain ghost Dirk, and then the rest of them have to scramble against the clock (Jake's ability to maintain Hal's realness) to god tier him and make his existence permanent. He's a Sylph of Mind, which allows him to negate Condy's mind control. And maybe a GCATboy?

(Tavros) becomes the new leader of the ghost army.

Davesprite winds up dead at some point in the bubbles and doesn't explain how he died, but he and (Dave) get to fight each other and hash out their Realness and Relevance issues, before facing their final boss fight as bros once more.

Jade and Nepeta get to talk, and Nepeta gives Jade the reassuring speech about Ultimate Selfhood and how she won't be lonely forever. Maybe it's flushed. Might leave it ambiguous.

Somebody needs to auspicetize Dirk and Jake holy shit. Dunno who. Maybe Karkat, but I kind of like him pitch with Dirk, so IDK really.

Dad needs to die. Sorry Dad. If I can find a way to kill off all of the sprites besides ARquiusprite, I will. It's explicitly stated that sprites are drawn to the battlefield during the Reckoning, presumably to die, as part of the coming-of-age themes - losing one's guardians. It's sad but it's gotta happen.

All the Godtier!Calliope stuff basically happens as-is.

Can you tell I need to do more research on the alpha kids...

Ok Back To Karkat And Eridan

I think I'm going to leave their moirallegiance fairly ambiguous, but when Eridan is brought back, he and Karkat are basically together all the time. Karkat's signals are mixed even on the best of days, so I don't know how easy it'll be to tell that these two assholes slinging death threats at each other are pale, but *I* will know, and that's what matters.

This leads to the last two dancestor takedowns:

Karkat and Eridan (mostly Eridan) round on Kankri. Eridan calls him SO MANY SLURS. The fact that Karkat not only condones this, but is DATING ERIDAN, kind of makes Kankri lose it a bit.

(Karkat) and (Eridan), who have reconciled in the bubbles, finally find (Vriska) and Meenah. (Karkat) gives the two of them the speech that retcon!Vriska gave (Vriska) in the comic's original ending, but this time around, (Vriska) actually agrees with him. This serves as a conclusion to (Karkat) and Meenah's arc, and causes Meenah to feel so bad that she walks back to the other dancestors in shame, as (Vriska) leaves with him with the treasure to finally fight LE.

When Meenah returns to the dancestors, the first one she finds is Aranea, who's really sad about her own little escapade, blaming herself for the way Game Over went. This prompts Meenah to go, no, it was probably my fault, shouldn't have let you run off like that. And this would, from all the sobbing dancestors, prompt a string of "no, I'm the reason we failed"s, eventually culminating in Meenah rallying them together to do one last good thing before everyone gets sucked into the black hole and go join the fight against LE. Everyone agrees.

(Gamzee) is revived by the life players and cursed with immortality, so he can go on to become LE and complete that time loop. He is immediately locked in the fridge. This is also why he can't fucking die no matter what you do to him.

This also leads us into the final boss fights.

VS. CONDY

The twelve trolls. The Condesce represents tyranny, the worst aspects of the trolls' old society, and as such, is most thematically taken down by them. While she did fuck up the alpha kids' lives, too, I just personally think it's so much more thematic and satisfying to watch her be beaten down by the trolls.

VS. THE THREE JACKS

The eight kids plus Hal plus Davesprite. With Bec Noir specifically, it's fucking PERSONAL, as this guy killed their parents. This is where Dave fulfils his destiny of killing an iteration of English with his sword, when he decapitates Jack English; the person in the middle of that sandwich is Davesprite, which is how he dies and winds up in the bubbles. The iteration of Jack that survives to date Ms. Paint is Spades Slick, as he's the most sympathetic out of all of them and didn't kill anybody's parents.

At some point during this fight, I like the idea that they get zapped away by Jack English, John zaps them to the Godtier!Caliborn fight where he gets sealed in the juju, and then we cut back to the fight with Jack English, where, inexplicably, they all zap right back in.

VS. THE FELT

The spares - ARquiussprite, (Gamzee) in the fridge (who has since been revived by the life players and blessed/cursed with eternal life so he can go on to fulfill his role in the timelines and become part of LE), Dad, and the other sprites (if any of them are left alive).

VS. LORD ENGLISH

The GameOver!crew, the ghost army, the dancestors (they have a Big Damn Heroes moment right near the end, buying Jake time to deploy the Weapon), Aradiabot, and Davesprite.

Jake fulfills his destiny to defeat the Lord of all Angels by being the one to deploy the weapon, which deposits the beta kids, who knock LE in to the black hole. They then zap out of there, collecting the alpha kids from after the Caliborn fight, and zap back to the fight with the Jacks.

This specific configuration of boss battles winds up leaving Lord English entirely up to dead characters, who are then implied to all eventually get sucked into the black hole - their memories to live on through the living characters via Ultimate Selfhood, which only Nepeta achieves on screen, but implies that they will all achieve eventually.

It's important to me that the GameOver!crew is the one leading the fight against Lord English, as they're the ones who were the most screwed over by LE and his machinations - manipulated into killing each other, used as servants of his will, dying ignobly in a doomed timeline filled with special stardust. Meanwhile, the retcon!kids and trolls prove what they've learned - about compassion, kindness, equality, and forgiveness - by beating the shit out of the Condesce, who represents the horrors of Alternia, and the Jacks, especially Bec Noir and Jack English - the latter of which is a shadow of what Lord English represents - immaturity, cruelty, hatred - and the former of which is a culmination of all the failures they committed to get to this point, a symptom of their universal cancer.

I wrote a little snippet of Aradia once, and I think I'll use that to end this essay:

(ARADIA): ok now that we are all done being stupid (ARADIA): im sure enough people here remember the plan that i dont need to explain it again (ARADIA): so instead i just wanted to say (ARADIA): leave your backs to us and face forward without fear (ARADIA): the dead and irrelevant will slay the demon of double death while you unmake the threats of the living (ARADIA): and personally i think it's very fitting that he will perish here as nothing more than a bad dream (ARADIA): this will be the last time we see each other (ARADIA): so on behalf of everyone that you are going to be leaving behind (ARADIA): live (ARADIA): and be happy!

#homestuck #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #nepeta leijon #feferi peixes #kanaya maryam #gamzee makara #vriska serket #sollux captor #aradia megido #equius zahhak #tavros nitram #terezi pyrope #unfortunately i was not able to get my actual project done so i'll save that for 6/12 hahaha #but have this meager offering instead

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mh-dreamscape · 4 days

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Fun fact brought to you by a marine biologist/marine affairs major!

Part 3: Creature from the Black Lagoon Edition!

Sooooo I ended up getting her and when I finally got to look at her details up close, I got inspired to do another one of these! Now that I’m graduated, I’ll most likely be taking her out of the box at some point! This will also be a little bit of a review too!

In my previous post, I rated her a 9.7/10 because I was confused by some design choices, like the harpoons in her heels. I feel that would’ve looked better with some type of shoe unless her feet are supposed to be like boots? Anyways, I’ll be going from head to feet with aquatic biology and my feedback!

The Fin Headpiece:

Most fins have multiple lines or filaments like that and tend to start with either a darker color or color that matches their body on the inside. That color starts to fade out the further on the fin we go because the material is a lot thinner. They can appear to have a sheen look sometimes because they can be shiny and reflect light a little!

The Face:

Probably the most informative part, the face has many qualities to it! Makeup? Iconic. Flawless. The only thing I might change about it is maybe a not-as-bright lip color, but I think I feel that way about many designs and might just be a personal preference so I’ll let it slide. Aquatic factors? To. The. MAX!

Unless a fish has a protruding lower jaw, they don’t typically have an upturned smile. Body shape and mouth position can be linked together too. Bottom feeders, like catfish and sturgeon, are usually wider and flatter with an inferior mouth or a mouth that’s toward the bottom of their face or completely under it. Fish with superior mouth types (“a” in the picture and towards the top of the body) and terminal (“b” and towards the middle). As you can see, either way, the fish will have a downturned mouth and I just love that quality on this doll. This follows with her nose as well! Her nose does stick out like a normal monster high doll. It’s flattened a bit and has wider nostril sides which goes along with the snout on fish.

Now, I know most of her design is literally based on the Creature of the Black Lagoon so I’m probably just listing facts about him too, but let’s talk about the sides of her face, the part I highlighted the most in this 3/4 perspective!

Probably the most prominent features on her head sculpt: Gills! They generally follow the rules of anatomy having the the arches and filaments, but she is missing an operculum, which is a protective covering for the gills made by a series of bones. This doesn’t mean she’s entirely inaccurate though as only bony fish have operculums!

The Hands:

While it isn’t related to fish much, I wanted to admire her hands too! On Mattel’s page for her, they mentioned amphibious a couple of times so I thought I should show that. This is a comparison to frogs hind leg and foot (I couldn’t find a good picture of a “hand” or front leg).

The Body/Clothes:

As mentioned above, this piece was called “Pearlescent amphibious body armor” and while it does resemble a frog-like skeleton a bit, I felt it looked more like a fish! The top part that rests on her shoulder reminds me of the head portion of the skeleton.

Now, let’s take a look at her tail/fin which I believe is made of some type of tulle, but please correct me if I’m wrong! I don’t know much about fabrics.

The way the tulle sticks out in the first set of body pictures (middle one) reminds me of a caudal peduncle which as described in the picture above, connects the main body and the caudal (tail). The way the tulle is spread, it looks like it would be a truncate tail. Tail shapes are connected to the maneuverability and speed of a fish and each in the third picture shows how they could work. I know it probably doesn’t lay that way when she’s taken out of the box, but it was a cool design choice!

The Feet/Shoes:

I haven’t taken her out of the box yet, meaning I don’t have any good pictures of her feet or the stand so I’m using the stock photos from Mattel’s site. The fins follow fish biology with them being a lighter or different color and the tops and bottom of her feet/shoes resemble a more amphibious or reptilian nature. Taking a closer look at it, I can now see that the harpoon is attached to a rope that wraps around her ankles! I wish they colored it differently so we could distinguish that (or maybe I was the only one who thought they just stuck harpoons in her heels lol). After finding that out, I don’t have much complaints. I think it’s kind of cool they made the feet into boots!

The Stand:

I adore the stand! I love when stands can add a bit of background or a pop of color to the doll! The kelp/seaweed was a great idea to hold her up and there’s detail on the sea floor as well! My only tiff is that I don’t quite know how stable this will be. With the usual stands, the clamp in the back holds their waist up while the bottom gives their feet something to rest on. It makes it stable in general posing of dolls. These pictures show her feet barely resting on it and I’m sure you could probably stretch her one foot out to land on the higher part of the terrain, but it wouldn’t quite look as good as the stock.

I tried making a quick edit of another way to keep the pose. I originally wanted it to be a harpoon and harpoon gun but I felt that was sort of off brand with Mattel and Monster High so I instead lifted that anchor from the terrain, colored it differently to look like it was covered in algae, and rested it in the seagrass! The only drawback would be that it requires a bit more plastic for each stand and may make it a little more clunky. Like I said, I haven’t taken her out of the box yet so I don’t quite know how stable the original stand is, so this is more so brainstorming!

Overall:

Making this post made me glad I got her and appreciate her design more. I got her about a month before graduating and it seemed fitting for my final doll delivered at college to be one that’s similar to my major (er I guess I should start saying degree now huh 😅)! I know this was such a long post and I’m sorry for it but I figured combining my “Fun Fact” series and an observational review of her in-person would be great! Her rating still stands at a 9.7/10!

What do you guys think? Do you like her design? What’s your favorite or least favorite part? What would you change about her? Should I keep doing this series??

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clotpolesonly · 18 days

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Six Of One

welcome to another episode of "Jess projects her experiences onto fictional characters" 😂 it's been a little while! (i strongly suspect that this experience of mine is the 'tism somehow, hence me subjecting my autistic king Declan to it) anyway, the title is a truncation of the phrase "six of one, half dozen of another" which means that two options are equal in value and, thus, it doesn't actually matter which you choose. one is as good as the other. | Jordeclan | Gen | 2.3k | Established Relationship | Verbal Shutdown | Accommodations | Fluff | (also on AO3)

The new studio space was spacious, well-lit, and blissfully free of vegetable-esque breasts. This one also had an elevator instead of three flights of stairs, thank God. Declan stepped out of it and into the familiar scent of turpentine and canvas, strong even though all the doors along the hallway were currently closed. A small, private smile tugged at his lips, despite his mood.

Perhaps it wasn’t right to call it a mood. By all accounts, Declan felt fine. His day had gone well so far, with a number of business transactions handled smoothly and efficiently, a phone number attained for a frustratingly difficult to track down associate-of-an-associate-of-an-associate, and several texts exchanged with Ronan with hardly any insults involved. It was breezy outside with just a hint of chill in the air signaling the incoming cold snap. The barista at the café had called him Derek again, but she’d finally gotten his coffee order just right. Matthew had only been five minutes late to soccer practice instead of his usual ten.

Declan had had far more stressful days than this one—he could practically see the look Ronan would give him for the sheer magnitude of that understatement—and yet he couldn’t help the tightness in his shoulders as he let himself into the studio.

Jordan was at her easel, engrossed in whatever she was working on today. Music spilled from her laptop, as it often did when she painted, and her voluminous cloud of curls jounced with every enthusiastic bop of her head. The baggy jean overalls she’d taken to wearing had been released from her shoulders, straps instead tied haphazardly around her waist to leave her in a mildly paint-splattered sports bra instead. She was barefoot.

Some of Declan’s tension eased.

The Artist Unbound, oil on canvas, he thought. Or perhaps pastels, to capture the soft haziness of the feeling that grew in his chest to see her like this. Not for the first time, he considered taking Jordan up on her offer to teach him how to actually make art himself, instead of only appreciating others’. It was always said with a teasing lilt, but she meant it. Every time, she meant it.

It wasn’t until one track flipped over to another less to Jordan’s liking that she noticed his presence. She immediately rerouted from the laptop to dance her way across the room, smiling, until she was close enough to kiss him.

“About time, Pozzi,” she said, arms sliding around Declan’s waist. “I was beginning to think you’d fallen down a manhole or slipped through a sewer grate or something equally cartoonish and ridiculous. Not because I thought it likely—I mean, let’s be honest, if anyone is going to fall prey to cartoon physics in this, the real world, it would definitely be Ronan—but I’ll admit, I did get a certain amount of schadenfreude from the mental image. Hope you don’t mind, love you lots, anyway, what took you so long? Did Matthew lose a fight with his cleats again?”

Declan opened his mouth to tell her about the Masshole who cut him off right when he needed to change lanes to catch his exit. He was going to tell her about the lady’s flowery “Choose Kindness” bumper sticker and make a quip about irony. “If only I could be that lacking in self-awareness,” he planned to say, “it’s probably so much easier to live that way.”

He didn’t say any of it. He thought it. He thought it clearly and fluently, all the words lined up and ready to go. Then he opened his mouth and nothing came out.

His shoulders inched back up toward his ears. Jordan’s fingers dug into his back, no doubt feeling the tension creep in there as well, and she pulled back a bit to look at him.

“Alright, bruv?”

Declan closed his mouth. He nodded. It both was and was not the truth.

Jordan tilted her head to the side, lips pursing. She didn’t look concerned, which Declan appreciated, but the scrutiny brought more color to his cheeks than he would’ve liked.

Tone light and easy, she said, “Hand-Cat got your tongue with its weird little hands?”

That mental image, every bit as cartoonish as Ronan falling down a manhole and twice as disturbing, yanked a laugh out of him. Jordan’s smile was smug, like it always was when she managed to make Declan laugh in a way that would embarrass him if he’d done it in public, but she was still watching him carefully. Looking for clues, maybe, or for an explanation.

Declan wanted to tell her, It’s fine.

He wanted to tell her, You don’t need to worry, it’s only that my mouth has spontaneously developed a dysfunction where it refuses to produce sound.

He wanted to tell her, This happens sometimes. No, I don’t know why.

He wanted to tell her, All the words are still in here, I just can’t seem to get them out.

Instead, he fished his phone out of his pocket. He opened up their text thread and typed out a message, turning it around for her to read instead of sending it.

[Do you mind if I talk like this?]

Jordan had to pull back further to squint at the small screen, tightening her grip on his waist to keep from tipping over backwards. A crease appeared between her eyebrows, lips pursing again. Her eyes darted to his face for a mere second, assessing, and then her face cleared. She shrugged expansively.

“Doesn’t make any difference to me, Pozzi. Words in air, words on a screen—six of one, if you know what I mean. Call it a baker’s dozen if you throw in emojis. Did Matthew teach you about those yet? The silly little pictures the kids are using these days?”

Declan rolled his eyes. He typed out another message.

[I’m acquainted with the concept of emojis, yes. I didn’t even need Matthew’s tutelage in them.]

He included a little old man emoji to punctuate the statement. It might have been the first time he had ever actually utilized an emoji in a text message, but Jordan didn’t need to know that. It made her laugh, anyway, which was the important thing.

She stepped back out of their embrace, her hands taking a brief detour to squeeze his ass before letting him go completely, and dug her own phone out of one of her overall pockets. She held it up with a jaunty little shake.

“Mind if I respond out loud?” she asked, walking backwards in the direction of her half-finished painting. “Only, this shit’s messy, and touchscreens and fingerpainting don’t get along very well. Though I suppose I could make something avant garde out of it. Statement about the sanitization of the internet and corporate whatever-you-like killing the creative spirit and whatnot. You’d have to buy me a new phone after, if I sacrificed this one to the art gods, but I know you’re good for it.”

[You can talk normally.]

Declan sent this text, since Jordan had retreated too far to read it from his screen. She checked the message and nodded. Then she spent a minute fiddling with her phone, humming along to the laptop’s next selection. She propped it up on the edge of her easel, far enough away from the canvas to not be in danger of getting splattered, with an air of triumph.

“Futzed with the settings,” she explained. “So it won’t time out and turn off as fast and I won’t have to keep trying to unlock it with messy fingers. If you say something and I don’t notice for too long, whistle or some shit.”

Declan watched as she picked up her abandoned brush, loaded it with paint, and set about her work without further ado. It took him a moment to recalibrate. He wasn’t certain exactly what reaction he’d expected, but an absence of questions, comments, or concerns apparently had not been it. Eventually, he shucked off his jacket and took up his usual position on the couch, angled just so to have the best view of Jordan herself and also a glimpse of her piece as it came together under her deft hand.

Normally, this was the part of the evening when Declan would talk. Well, he spent a lot of every day talking, but this was when he would actually say things. Things that mattered to him, stories he wanted to tell, jokes too inappropriate to make in a business setting, anecdotes no one else in his life would’ve cared to hear but Jordan always did. Now, he turned his phone over in his hand a few times before typing out, [Missed my exit. Some Masshole with a “choose kindness” bumper sticker cut me off in traffic, if you can believe that.]

Jordan’s phone buzzed with the incoming text. He watched as she finished a careful stroke of the brush before glancing down at the screen, still lit up. She snorted.

“Choose kindness? The irony’s killing me, mate. D’you think she takes selfies sipping $18 frappuccinos and captions them with Love Is Love and #positivity?”

[Almost certainly.] He added a peace sign emoji. It made Jordan laugh. [But Matthew was very nearly on time today, I’ll have you know.]

Jordan’s gasp was theatrical. “Really? He does learn!”

[Miracle of miracles. He didn’t even bitch when I said we didn’t have time to stop for McDonald’s. Truly, a day of firsts.]

Part of Declan thought that maybe Matthew had chosen to let it go on purpose—one of those rare moments of perceptiveness that were growing less rare with time, now that Matthew was making an effort toward, as he put it, “learning how to think better”. On the way to soccer practice had been when Declan’s mouth had started to betray him. He’d had to think “Matthew, put your seatbelt on” six times before he’d managed to actually communicate it audibly. The McDonald’s question had been met with a curt “no time for that”, forced out with far more effort than made any kind of sense for four very simple words that Declan said on a regular basis. By the time they’d reached the school, it had been a true struggle to muster up a goodbye, and once he had, he’d known there would be no more verbalizing tonight.

Matthew hadn’t seemed upset or like he thought Declan was mad at him, which was a relief because he wasn’t. There had been nothing wrong. Declan wasn’t even anxious about anything, beyond his general baseline. He’d thought plenty of perfectly amiable thoughts in Matthew’s direction on that trip. He’d told himself to say them instead, over and over. The rest of him just hadn’t cooperated.

He wondered now if, had he not been driving, Matthew would have minded him texting instead. Matthew wasn’t text-phobic like Ronan. He probably would’ve been over the moon about the opportunity to introduce emoji usage into their conversations, regardless of whatever malfunction of Declan’s speech capabilities had provided it.

Jordan certainly didn’t seem to mind. She chatted away the same way she always did, with only a slight delay when her eyes were too busy to spare. Text wasn’t a particularly expressive medium for conveying tone, but she knew him well enough to infer when he was being wry. She did send him an amused look for how long it took him to type out several paragraphs’ worth of commentary on the Henry Wallis wannabe from down the hall, but she put down her brush to read it all eagerly enough that he didn’t feel judged for it.

Despite the alteration to their routine, it felt just the same as it always did.

Declan wanted to tell her, I love you.

Instead, he texted, [You’re really not going to ask, are you?]

He’d been quiet—so to speak—for long enough that Jordan had to double-tap at her screen with the back of her cleanest knuckle to access the notification. She didn’t need clarification or context. She just wiped some carmine paint onto the thigh of her overalls and said, “Is it something that needs asking about?”

Declan turned that question over in his head. He would have asked, if he’d been in her position. He’d been asking himself for hours. Hell, he’d been asking himself for years, what this was and why it happened and why he couldn’t just spit it out when he got like this. He’d yet to find an answer or a solution.

But Jordan hadn’t needed one. All she’d needed was a way to keep hearing him.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

He couldn’t say it right now, but he could wrap his arms around Jordan’s waist and press a kiss to her shoulder. She set down her brush in favor of reaching up to bury her fingers in his curls, cupping the back of his head to keep him close. She was undoubtedly getting in his hair. He decided that he didn’t care very much. They stayed like that for most of a song, swaying gently, Jordan humming along contentedly despite this particular track not being of a genre that easily lent itself to humming.

On the easel, Jordan’s phone screen dimmed, sleep mode impending. Declan picked it up before it could go fully dark. He typed in a text and held it up for Jordan to see.

[Thank you.]

Jordan wiggled around to face him properly, settling her arms around his neck and somehow managing to trap the phone between their chests. She kissed him, sweet and slow.

“Anytime, Pozzi,” she murmured against his lips. “Six of one, know what I mean?”

Declan thought, I’m starting to.

#Jordeclan #Declan Lynch #Jordan #TRC #TDT #fics by me #autistic!Declan #which is not said explicitly IN the fic so i didn't tag it on AO3 #but it's true in my heart and is part of my projecting LMAO so i'm tagging it that way here for my sake XD

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pagesofkenna · 2 years

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there's a post in the tag about someone wishing to see more Omar in D20 and I agree, but it also reminded me about how a year ago a few RPG streamers I like started Power Play, and I never ended up watching it, and I just recently learned that Omar was in that and I could have seen what an awesome player he was long ago if I just had watched it

and then I got to thinking about how many cool actual plays are out there that don't have the budget that Dimension 20 or Critical Role have, but tell really cool stories with really good players regardless! And a lot of these players deserve recognition, but there's so little space to showcase new players for audiences who only watch D20 or CR

so anyway I compiled a list of every single actual play Omar has been in (at least, those I could find VODs for)

Power Play: actual play of Icons, a silver-age inspired superheroes rpg, hosted by QueueTimes! It's played remotely, about 59 episodes long, and includes several one-shots where (I think?) they play some other game systems as well

The Borros Saga: Banesbreak: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by PixelCircus! Played in person, about 12 episodes long, with some one-shot vignettes. Aabria is also a player here!

Monsters and Fables: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by the official D&D channel! Played in person, 6 episodes long

Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by Hyper RPG! Played in person, about 9 episodes long, and half the time Omar is DMing!

Balboa Cantrip Academy: actual play of Kids on Brooms, a rules-lite magical school rpg, hosted by Hyper RPG! Played remotely, and only 3 episodes long (Episode 2, Episode 3, on Twitch)

Pugmire: Homeword Bound: actual play of Pugmire, a simplified D20 with dogs, hosted by Saving Throw! Played in-person, only 3 episodes long

The Last VHS Store: a 3-episode series hosted by Saving Throw, where Omar GMs a lite D20 system he designed himself! All in-person

Carrier Penguins: a series of 4 one-shots hosted by Saving Throw, playing Lasers and Feelings, an easily hackable lite system. Ep1, Ep2, Ep3, Ep4, all in-person

Oneshots specifically:

Aces in Space charity stream with QueueTimes, playing Blue Shift - remote

The Golden Girls charity stream with PixelCircus, playing Lewd Grannies - remote

The Gauntlet s2e2 with Hyper RPG, playing Pathfinder (Omar later GMs the 8-episode s4) - in-person

Spy Island ep1 with Hyper RPG, playing ?? (an ad-hoc mafia/werewolf rpg) - remote

(And here's just a truncated list of his Saving Throw oneshots, bc there's a lot: Scooby-Doo rpg playing Wildlings, Lasers and Feelings with the Doubleclicks, House of 100 Nightmares GMing Dread, John Wick charity stream playing Lasers and Feelings)

Game the Game (board games instead of tabletops RPGs) with Geek and Sundry, playing Pitchstorm, Aftermath, and Scott Pilgrim - in-person

He was also a campaign guest player in Failed Save c2e3 (D&D, PixelCircus), Damsels, Dice, & Everything Nice s3e2 (D&D, PixelCircus), and Ironkeep Chronicles ep21 (D&D, Saving Throw)

#omar najam #dimension 20 #acofaf #phew this took........ a lot of work...#i wish there was a system already in place to see which players have been in which games #but unless the actors list their actual play work all on their portfolio website there really isnt a system #i compiled this partially to be like 'hey you want more omar?? you DONT need to rely on D20 for that!'#even tho I agree the production quality of D20 is so high that those actual plays can be more fun to watch than the smaller groups #and partially to be like 'hey look at these other game streaming groups that have good work they're putting out you should watch!'#and partially literally also to be like '...YO look at all these other games that exist???'#im still loling at acofaf using the D&D system at all. it does NOTHING for this setting except be familiar to their audience #Saving Throw uses Lasers and Feelings a LOT because its such a light bulk-less system you can do ANYTHING on top of #with virtually zero prep #acofaf needed an oracle system more than a combat system - which is what D&D is #and the oracle system in D&D is helpful but theres SO much bulk with the combat mechanics for a production that doesnt need it!#anyway if you like horror Omar GMs a game of Dread and I don't like horror but I still Need to see that

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dandylovesturtles · 3 months

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Fanfic Writer Ask Game!

🎯 🦈?

🎯 Do you have a writing milestone you’re working towards?

nope. I am at the whims of my inspiration and energy levels.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

in ROTTMNT I would probably say Mikey. I think it's a little easy to lean too hard into the sort of "sweet little brother" thing that a lot of fandom likes (this isn't meant as a callout, lol, I like it too) and forget that he is canonically a little gremlin who is very silly and sometimes pretty gross (I mean he's a 13 to 15-year-old boy so it tracks).

Also he probably has the least defined character arc of literally every main character in the series (including the supporting cast like April, Splinter, Draxum, and both Caseys). Leo has his struggles with his place and identity within the team as well as his growth as a leader, Donnie has his issues with feeling replaced and directly linking his family "needing" him to his family loving him, Raph is struggling to live up to the expectations of the clan and his role as a big brother, April deals with her struggles connecting with her own peers and her fear that she doesn't count as part of the fam, Splinter has a billion things going on, Draxum has a whole redemption arc (truncated as it was) and Casey Sr effectively does too, and Casey Jr. has grief and trauma. And Mikey... would probably have had a really good character arc if we'd gotten the rest of season 2 and season 3!

A lot of Mikey's episodes where he gets to really get feelsy and show his emotions are directly tied to other people's character development, especially Donnie's and Draxum's, so we don't get as much of what his deal is. The only really solid Mikey centric episode is Hot Soup The Game, which definitely brings up Mikey's frustrations with being the youngest and thus babied as a result, so that's something you can draw on for his character, but even that's more tied directly into what he wants from interactions with other people and less about what he wants for himself.

(the truffle episode is super weird... like Mikey learns not to take his friends for granted? I guess?? I wouldn't have expected him to in the first place but yeah I guess that's some character development lol)

(actually as a total side note, it does annoy me a little that when Todd is first introduced as a character in Season 1, the whole point of his superpower being niceness was that he was so nice you'd do anything for him, and even villains were unable to turn him down, which was a really good gag and made him an interesting character. Then at some point it became that Todd's niceness meant he couldn't turn anyone down and suddenly he was just kind of a doormat, to Mikey first in the truffle episode and then all of them later in Todd Scouts. I actually like the Todd Scouts episode but also you didn't have to do that to him lmao)

(actually actually even though I like Todd Scouts I would have loved a version of that episode where Splinter stayed with them in the woods and then we dealt with how his feelings were hurt by the kids being more interested in their phones than his teaching and they could have pointed out that their dad kind of waited until late in life to start teaching them life skills and IDK WE DIDN'T GET THE FAMILY BONDING CAMPING TRIP WHEN THEY GOT CAUGHT IN THE TURTLE TANK IN SEASON 1, WHY DIDN'T WE GET IT IN SEASON 2??)

cough. anyway.

yeah so I always feel bad that when I look at my AUs and stuff I always feel like I give Mikey the least. I'm so sorry, Mikey, you're just already perfect and I don't know where to take you. ;;

Thanks for the ask!

#writer ask game

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thetokentrans · 11 hours

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so I have thoughts about this week's episode of 911. My partner and I ranted at one another when we watched it yesterday, and I need to put my thoughts out into the world. Spoilers under the cut. Also tagged though, just to be safe.

Alright so, I wanna say first that while I've mostly enjoyed this season, some of the arcs and basically all of the pacing has me really frustrated? And not frustrated because of cliffhangers and not frustrated because the writing wants me to be. Frustrated because the pacing has been far too quick - though, I expect the super truncated season is to be blamed for that - but also some of the writing and character arcs just..... Do not fit the vibe of the show up until this season? Plus, the lack of calls/focus on characters personal lives has also got me sad. Like, I love the characters and love seeing the peeks into their loves, but I really hope the show doesn't maintain the equation of one big emergency, a few calls sprinkled through out the season, and then mostly focused on the characters lives because *I* preferred the balance it was before. Or would have been happy with a tiny bit more focus on their personal lives, but not to the extent it is now, know?

Eddie and Kim are a great example. Especially what it culminated to in 7x09. It just makes no God damned sense and does not fit Eddie's characterization in my opinion? It came out of left field. It's a really, really weird god damned story line. I *am* glad that Buck approached Eddie about it AS SOON as he learned about the situation though. Like if it wasn't anything, Eddie... You wouldn't have hid her from Buck OR Marisol. If it wasn't anything, you wouldn't have lied and said you didn't have a gf. And it frustrates me that before this episode, he had been looking back on his relationship with Shannon with such rose colored glasses and forgetting the very large, sort of insurmountable issues that they had. Though that isn't out of character for him, I just hated it. Lol

And the stuff with the councilwoman in this episode also made me insanely angry. And went way too quick. Politicians can grease a lot of wheels but that entire situation - Maria's adoption getting stopped, AND her getting ripped out of their house because their foster license got revoked - really felt like it happened way too quick and should have raised some red flags/encountered some road blocks in the system???

Also I hate that NO ONE outside of Athena seemed to question Bobby's definitely very weird behavior. Like I feel like super anxious to every change in someone's demeanor Buck, and INSANELY perceptive Hen would have picked up that something was wrong????

Also idk man, Athena going to Amir, AND BRINGING HIM INTO HER HOUSE THAT HAS ALL OF THIS EVIDENCE OF HOW GOOD BOBBY HAS IT NOW - even if Bobby doesn't think he deserves it, even if Bobby has been stewing in his self loathing basically since childhood and his dad dying - to help with Bobby's spiralings/self destruction cycle felt a little out of characterly naive of her?

Like.. I don't think he's the one who set the house on fire at the end of the episode - I did at first, but my partner pointed out that it'd be the too obvious choice - but I just don't think either Bobby OR Amir are ready for that. And I feel like history shows, and her characterization shows, that she'd be more perceptive and realize that.

That being said, some things I *liked* about the episode:

Chim getting to clapback at racist homophobic Gerrard (spelling?) at the award ceremony

Bobby telling Buck that he knows Tommy is good for him because Buck hasn't spiraled about their relationship/ranted about it to him.

Buck telling Eddie that he's worried about him. That interaction, Buck calling Eddie out, it felt good and like the 911 I'm used to.

Athena calling Bobby out on his self destruction cycle. I do wish she would have pointed out how often she has leaned on him (as much as a chronically independent woman like her, can anyway) especially when it came to finally solving her fiancé's murder for instance.

Idk man, the show just doesn't feel the same as it has in the past and I'm really hoping it's because of the change in network and is just an adjustment period.

#911 abc #911 spoilers #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bobby nash

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naranjapetrificada · 9 months

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Izzy's not going to get a redemption arc and he would absolutely snatch the chance to try and play captain again because Izzy is a fucking piece of shit who doesn't learn. He's a snitch to cops, a racist, femmephobic and abusive.

I assume this is in response to the "eight predictions for 8 episodes" post yesterday?

So I'm uh, not exactly Izzy's biggest fan, to be sure. I never, ever mind in fics when he faces consequences for his actions. The harm someone like him could do IRL to someone in Ed's vulnerable emotional state when he says "I should have let the English kill you" cannot be overstated. I've rolled my eyes reading izcourse meta that tries to pretend like his antipathy to characters like Lucius, Stede, and even Ed when Ed wasn't performing Blackbeard-style masculinity isn't about misogyny and homophobia. Izzy unequivocally does the The 18th-century equivalent of calling the cops by leading the British to the Revenge. But. But.

Given this is the show that it is in the genre that it is, and David Jenkins is the person that he is, I've kind of started reconciling myself to a 50/50 chance there will be some opportunity for redemption for Izzy. Personally I wouldn't devote a second of our limited time in this truncated season to redeeming him but I'm making my peace with possibility of at least vague gestures in that direction anyway. It truly feels like a coin toss.

I'm also trying to remember how I felt about Izzy during the like month after I first watched the show but before I entered the fandom proper, and in that headspace it definitely feels more plausible than I would have hoped. Whether or not Izzy deserves a shot at redemption, this is a show about it never being "too late" to live better and more fully, and there's room for that to include even someone like him.

My predictions post yesterday should not be misconstrued as a wishlist, because it is absolutely not that. For now I'm just guessing at the possibilities, hoping for the best, and trusting that the team who delivered season 1 to us will be able to stick the landing on season 2, whatever choices are made about Izzy or anyone else.

#asks #asked and answered #ofmd s2 speculation #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd speculation #ofmd season 2 #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #izzy hands #please don't make me regret using the “izzy hands” tag #the izcourse

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 2 years

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ngl the owl house has a habit of setting things up and never mentioning it again. it doesnt affect the story quality and you don’t even notice it unless you have brainrot about the show and overthink every bit of it like i do. the major plot points are all very well done and obviously they do a lot of foreshadowing and the whole setup and payoff for that. like luz eda and king’s arcs? immaculate. the belos/day of unity thing? yeah.

and it’s not even stuff they were obviously going to cover in a full season 3 but had to cut. like everyone talks about how the bat queen disappeared after hunting palismen and i know thats bc they didnt have enough episodes to cover that. and something like the blight parents divorce probably would have had more buildup but they had to truncate it. and while i think there were better ways to cut it, i understand why they wrote it like that. same thing with the collector he was obviously supposed to have all of season 3 to be fleshed out. and the titan trappers. gus’s relationship with his dad was probably going to get explored more. and while i think they could have given willow more screentime in s2, she would have had more development in s3 too. like we can all tell where they had to cut out major subplots and i dont think its right to blame the writers for not following up on those. and if they shortened a subplot badly, it should be criticized on the basis of there being better ways to shorten it, not on the basis of it being bad they shortened it at all.

but with that out of the way the show loves to introduce a cool plotline and like. literally NEVER mention it again? even if it would be interesting to explore in the show or come in handy in a future plotpoint they just. pretend they didn’t introduce that point at all? and don’t say “oh they might have expanded on it if the show didnt get shortened” im talking about stuff in s1 and s2a. the crew found out the show was being cancelled while producing s2b. (probably around the production of any sport in a storm? in the storyboards they included a picture of the construction coven head on darius’s scroll which makes me think they thought they could do more episodes since they were teasing something with a new character. also the azura subplot that episode REALLY feels like something they’d write if they thought they had more episodes to tie up the actual plot.) but yeah if the writers didn’t address some of the stuff they brought up in a season and a half i. really dont think they’re keeping track of those plot points now.

anyway the more i think about it the more BAFFLED i am? bc some of those plot points would have been hella more interesting to do an episode on than like. the bodyswap episode. a really small thing is eda’s potion business. aside from selling human garbage eda does have a side job. we see her and lilith making potions in s2 so they obviously can still maintain the potion business even if they can’t make some complicated potions anymore bc they dont have magic. eda does say she’ll sell edric’s potions in reaching out but when they were having financial troubles in separate tides no one mentions it? its one thing to say “eda's potion business is dead bc ppl keep ripping her off/bc she can’t make complicated potions” but they just. never mention it? and lilith’s scrying potion was just a way to show belos is building a portal. (they never even show the cauldron again so i dont think it was ever plot relevant) if they just needed her to get potion ingredients they could have just had her do that while trying to salvage eda’s business.

and also. the blight twins had the highest scores ever for the entrance exams? we see them being good at magic other times and they did touch on how amity feels inadequate because she isn’t naturally gifted at magic. idk i think there were themes of it but amity feeling overshadowed by her siblings and overworking herself to compensate wasn’t. too well explored imo. the resentment was definitely there. this one isn’t something that they necessarily never explored. i just think they should have explored it more. all siblings in toh parallel with the wittebanes and all.

something else they kind of forgot after like two episodes is how hunter was supposed to be spying on luz. in young blood old souls belos says he’ll “keep an eye on [the owl family]” and nods at hunter. and the look the pirate guy gives hunter in separate tides after he hires luz implies he purposely did that so hunter can spy on her. but then he...tells luz to kill the selkiedomus and never seeks her out again? what was the goal there? did he just not want to kill the selkiedomus so he decided to blow his cover for it? belos probably told him to kill it for the scales to make a new grimwalker but. hunter didn’t get any scales? what, was belos going to send someone to get the scales after hunter left??? and why did hunter never go back to spy on the owl family again? it really feels like they wanted to set that up at the end of s1 but when they were writing s2 they got bored with the idea so they pretended it never happened after separate tides.

my biggest example is how lilith was amity’s mentor of course. like. amity liked and respected her! she’s upset that lilith would trick her into cheating which further shows how amity expected lilith to be better than that! and amity being lilith’s “star student” implies lilith has other students. so does lilith have like. a gaggle of kids learning from her? is that why she’s friends with steve? lilith’s habit of mentoring a bunch of students never comes up again. like literally just replace flora desplora with someone she mentored who’s in the coven now it would make the same amount of sense and also have continuity.

and i see a lot of ppl toying with the idea that lilith was a parental figure/mentor to hunter when he was a kid but later grew to hate him because of coven politics and. yeah lilith can do a similar teleport dash to hunter he had to learn that from someone. and even if lilith never mentored hunter he was still a scout before becoming the golden guard so he probably worked for all the coven heads including her. and they probably worked together after he became the golden guard too. lilith definitely had some kind of history with hunter given her reaction to him in separate tides but when luz mentions lilith in hunting palismen hunter just. doesnt say anything? they never expand on that relationship again?

and maybe they just ran out of episodes to touch on lilith and hunter but that doesn’t explain why they never touched on lilith and amity after like 30 episodes. after covention they never interact again unless you count the 2 second shot where amity glares at lilith’s poster. even after lilith betrays the emperor and almost gets petrified amity never even asks luz about her. if they’d expanded on lilith’s relationship with amity and hunter at all eclipse lake would have been even more meaningful. lilith’s coven indoctrination probably contributed to the “you have to earn the right to exist” mentality both of them had. but by that point she’s recovered from that mindset. but the kids she mentored are still trapped in it.

some of the concepts they introduced in s2a also feel like this. like the ideas seem like it would be cool if they explored it. but it also doesn’t feel important enough to tangibly affect the plot so you suspect they might just not bring it up again. i already mentioned lilith’s scrying potion but there’s also how kikimora realized hunter was the one that attacked her in hunting palismen. (and just her subplot about political intrigue in the coven altogether) and gus and the looking glass graveyard. and hunter warning the blight parents about building a private army.

anyway none of this like. detracts from the quality of the show in any way. i guess these are just details from the show i noticed and wishe they could have explored? i know they probably did like a million drafts of the story but i think they could have tightened the story even more if they looked at it even more times. but yeah idk what the purpose of this is im just laying out all the stuff i wish they expanded on. im looking at this as like. a fanfic prompt. or notes for the owl house rewrite i wanna do after the show finishes, an alternate show made in a universe where michael mouse isn’t such a bitch

#toh #the owl house #shut up pandora #toh meta #maybe??? idk what to call it #toh prompts #kind of???#idk im not tagging all the characters and episodes #oh and #fuck disney #always #just because the writers are a little loose with their storylines doesnt mean you get to make the problem worse by cancelling the show

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goron-king-darunia · 2 years

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Eggtober 9 Mushroom and Cheese Omelet (Featuring Green Onion and Black Pepper) Clip Studio Paint, Gouache Brush, Dry Gouache Brush and Freckle Pen. 10 Colors, 30 Minutes. I’ve got a few little idiosyncrasies about how one spells omelet/omelette (all of them personal and not at all serious,) but I do enjoy omelets, however you want to spell them or make them. I don’t care if it’s an officially named recipe like the Denver Omelet or something you throw together with scraps and leftovers. All omelets are valid. A personal favorite of mine is just some nice sautéed mushroom, melty cheese, and whatever onion is on hand. I’ll never say no to some bacon or ham, but honestly, even the humble mushroom shines all on its own, and they’re fun to draw. So mushroom omelet it is! Gonna drop a little extra below a cut because it’s mostly me musing on personal stuff and whinging about spelling, but big thank you as always to @quezify for giving me an excuse to draw all sorts of tasty egg dishes. These warm ups are really helping me with other projects! I took something that normally takes me several months to finish and cranked it out in a matter of days. Once I started doing eggs, it was so much easier to just open that other piece and finish the sketches, the line art, and the coloring! Been sitting on my computer for a month and I did the majority of the work in this last week! (It’s not even a hard project, I’m just ADHD and a perfectionist and my phone is full of games and I cannot get off the free dopamine machine to use my BIGGER free dopamine machine to do art when art feels like work and I’m terrified of failure. But you cannot “fail” Eggtober. You just draw an egg. And every time, it’s fun. Every time it’s low pressure. Every time it’s a small reminder that even if it’s not perfect, it’s an egg. And eggs are always worth it.)

I was a little late on today’s egg, but my sleep schedule keeps getting pushed back because, again, I have ADHD and I do not control the sleep. I just exhaust myself and then lay down and then wake up 8-12 hours later and it’s anyone’s guess when or why or how. Anyway, I do have the luxury right now of just sleeping like I’m alternating shifts at a 24/7 convenience mart so I just roll with it. Art doesn’t abide by time constraints and most of my current projects can be done no matter where the sun is. Enough about that though. Omelets. Or Omelettes. (It will forever irk me that USA American English decided to spell half of its words differently because hurr durr telegraph and print press charge by the letter, we’re just gonna invent the predecessor of text speak but make it official and now all word processors are angry. Forever irked that we in the USA insist on spelling “omelets” the truncated way, making me confused every time I get the red squiggle under what’s technically ALSO a correct English spelling. [I read too much Brit Lit as a kid and now I type like a foreigner according to every single word processor I own and also according to my ESL Aunt. “You type like an English person. Or a Britain? However it’s said.”] Anyway screw American English, sometimes the Brits are right, LOL. [I am 90% teasing and this is 100% a me problem and I’m blowing the silliest anthill into a circus tent of a mountain because I am angry when machine tell me to spell different.]) I want to consolidate the Englishes where we just have Brit English, American English, and Consolidated English. And I want consolidated English so that the word processors STOP TELLING ME THAT I’M WRONG. No, I will never write color as colour. Brits are wrong on that one. But Brits are right about “judgement” and “omelettes” and several others. Sorry, not sorry. “Judgment” looks like a combo of judge and augment and my brain reads it dumb and “omelettes” is just objectively better, damn it! 😂

#Eggtober 9 #Eggtober 2022 #Mushroom Omelet #my art

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autumnslance · 18 days

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I have a question about carrying out an idea. I think this writing issue I've been having has been plaguing me longer than my time on Mateus; I’ve always struggled to get past chapter one or even stick to an idea, even when I started writing years ago. Are there any pointers on carrying an idea or story through?

That's a hard one, as I know I have plenty of plans and WIPs I haven't gotten past those stages myself.

So I ask myself what's the core of the idea, the heart of it? What is it I really want to say? I don't tend to write chronologically myself; I write lines, descriptions, bits of dialogue, scenes, and chapters entirely out of order. I know where they "go" in the overall arc. And sometimes, like with the Avengret storyline, I can then string them together, shuffling the order, writing new bridging scenes, removing or combining others as needed.

If I am trying to write in order, even then if a section is hard, or boring, or not working--skip it. Put in some brackets with [AND THEN X AND Y HAPPENS AND IT'S NOW THE NEXT DAY]. Move on to the next part that excites you, or that you at least know what happens. You can always double back later and add in that connecting scene...or even decide it isn't needed now, you've covered everything it would have elsewhere, and can just be summarized and moved on from.

I've recently been reading a "How To Write" series of books by James Scott Bell; there are several, but they're all pretty short. One of the pieces of advice he gives is to start in the middle (go to the midpoint of just about any novel or film, and it's somewhere very near that 50% mark in one direction or another). Find the "mirror moment" a point--sometimes a page or paragraph, sometimes just a single line--that is a frank look at the situation, self, etc on the part of the main character. What do they see? It's a moment of reflective truth. Who is the character in this midpoint? How did they get here? Who do they need to be/what must they do to get to the end? How do they realize they may fail? What forces are against them? Do they realize/acknowledge any of this?

These are recommendations more for novels than short stories, but heavens know how long some of our fics go, and short stories do still have similar, if truncated, structures and beats.

Anyway, you're not beholden to write from beginning to end. You may not know everything about your story yet--because you haven't written it yet, and these things change form, even for plotters with outlines. Write scenes. Write chapters. Write microfics that are just a couple lines of dialogue. Use prompt lists and challenges, if you gotta. Start small and build, as one of the old philosophers said.

(and eventually one day you look and realize you've written a few hundred thousand words, many of them about your OC and a Damn Rogue wending through their world...)

Writing works like exercise; you have to practice it, figure out what works for you, at what times of day, and it can be a struggle to keep up momentum. In the meanwhile, you also have to take other care of yourself.

Like actual exercise (whatever you're able to do; at least stretches, which is where I'm at some days). Remembering to eat and stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep (don't @ me, I sleep, just on a later schedule), and also do remember to intake other creative works; I got a rush of inspiration last year and spent months feverishly writing scenes and plotting and writing dialogues and making timeline outlines and writing more pages I'll never use after reading a popular novel, cuz the visceral language and a vaguely similar character dynamic in certain specific ways clicked something on in my brain. We gotta feed that persnickety little muse.

And on the days the muse is being recalcitrant...we write anyway. It's hard, it feels like it sucks, but if we want to get something done? Write something. Anything. Stream of consciousness if you gotta; complain, talk out your ideas, maybe write a little from that. And the next day look at it and realize it's not so bad as you thought and a little polish will fix it.

So don't try to be perfect first round; writing is messy. Revision and editing is where we make it look pretty (you usually don't have to rewrite entirely front to back, either; some folks like to, but for many others that's only if there's serious structure issues; mileage varies per project, too, as they're all different).

So write the scenes out of order, as they come. See what ideas stick and what are just idle thoughts. Maybe they're all true and there's multiverses and AUs there. See what starts t string together into coherence. Don't be afraid to revise, rewrite, even retcon if something better comes along months later after you already posted something.

The only way to know the story is to write it, figuring out how it wants to be written, and sometimes that means writing it from other angles and around the back way until it tells us how it got to that point (and whether what we thought was the start actually was or not).

Anyway. This got long, hopefully there's some tiny tidbit that helps!

#Lyn Prompts #Writing #blogging #about me #writing advice #writing reference #I've a hypothesis so many writing ref books are by thriller/mystery authors cuz they have a lock on structure & swift clear characterizatio #while me the fanfic & original fantasy writer rambles like my world building & magic descriptions

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milkyberryjsk · 1 year

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draft

EDIT: finished!

Pearl Pangan wasn’t really one to dwell on things. She’s accustomed to always having to move forward. Her life just couldn’t afford for her to stay still, constantly having to work towards something in order to keep things going.

So… why is she here?

On the coast of a secluded beach somewhere in Mindoro, perched atop the edge of a sea stack as she looks off into the seemingly endless fields of blue that stretches both above and below her. Despite the vast openness of her surroundings, she feels…suffocated. She just sees her in everything, doesn't she?

She thinks of her when that shade of light blue enters her vision.

She thinks of her when the trees around her home dance with the wind in the afternoon.

She thinks of her when she passes by big cities when she's out on missions. The buildings, the infrastructure, all of that bustling life just for one person to permeate her consciousness.

"How about that one?"

Lei Ling turns around, taking a quick glance at the small building Pearl's pointing at before she lightheartedly scoffs.

"That truncation on the roof was unnecessary... and it doesn't look all that stable, come a natural calamity. I could probably construct a better blueprint for it's foundation with my eyes closed." She says in a semi-serious tone as she puts a hand to her hip.

Pearl chuckles, moving some hair out the sides of her face as they soar through the skyline of a city somewhere in Metro Manila.

"Ha! Why don't you do it yourself then?" She jests.

"...Doesn't sound like a bad idea, actually. It would genuinely be a beneficial venture for me."" Lei Ling says, putting a hand under chin.

Pearl smiles, shaking her head as she chuckles.

"Plus, we'd see each other more often if I actually go through with it, so..."

Pearl frowns at the memory.

Funny how they ended up seeing less of each other after that specific interaction. But that's not what hurts Pearl. It's that every interaction they did have thereafter, she just seemed to mess up and cut short every time. She's not blind to herself, she sees all of it. The shift in Lei Ling's demeanor whenever she does it.

How her eyes will dart in a different direction when she says something too intimate. The way her shoulders shrink when she turns away. How her breath ever so slightly hitches when Pearl finds herself in too close of a contact with her. That sheepish, almost nervous look in Lei Ling's face that Pearl reads as nothing but a sign for her to stop.

And it's a pain she's never truly had to tackle in her life. Her love has always been directed at something rational to her. The love she has for her grandfather, the people in her hometown, the entire country and all of it's people, she understands all of that.

Lei Ling, however... she can't wrap her head around it. Her heart surely can, but that just confuses her further.

The guilt of her lack of understanding in it haunts her. Hanging over her head as if it were mocking her. It's why no matter how much it slips from her mind and into her words or actions, she can never get herself to say it out loud. Because she dreads the moment Lei Ling will ask her,

"Why?"

She... doesn't know why.

Or at least is what she tells herself, anyway.

This back and forth in her mind repeats as she brings her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. Eyes focused on the movement of the ocean before her as her body sits still against the wind. It's almost as if it's nudging her with the way it blows her hair out of her face softly. But that's the thought of her that's taking up her mind again.

Surely.

#a.drafts #aerowave #aahg idk i started this at 12am and it's nearly 4 now so it's definitely rusty 🙇‍♀️#1st time writinf in so long... i aim to get better soon enuf (i wanna write more for my faves)#i love having three creative outlets

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angevinyaoiz · 11 months

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youtube

Watched this Henry II docudrama while working on stuff yesterday and as u all know I love seeing what ppl do with the reenactor drama while Dan Jones walks around like a badboy at Chinon.

The thing is I've been so spoiled by the ugly haircuts and colorful stage camp toot toot music of The Devil's Crown that going to this SUPER grey and gritty modern realism filter is a whiplash haadjdjdidid. Also I realized they recycled a lot of this footage into the Secrets de Histoire video about Eleanor lmaoooo

The narrator talks in very serious voice about how THIS FAMILY DRAMA IS MORE BLOODIER AND DRAMATIC than FICTION which true I suppose but also to me it's Funny. It's Bathos.

We have Eleanor being the Evil Woman in the Yaoi shot here between Henry and Becket

Becket looks EVIL in all his shots and they play like the most foreboding haunting music it's like God damn u guys don't have ANY lighting whatsoever. Bc he comes across so sinister when they get to the part about Young Henry's dadson marriage coronation and they talk Abt Becket being uninvited it sounds like he's Maleficent or something..should show up in announced just to CURSE him (tbh he kind of did that with the excommunication lmaooo)

We get to see Henry Junior ofc which I'm always like yayyyyy it's my glup shitto...this doc really leans on that "Criticizing Henry re his interpersonal faults and internal personality" kind of motivation for his actions which I'm like ehhhh ofc things are more complex politically and I can't help but feel after reading Strickland's TYK book it's more hmmm. But anyways this distracts from the important things which is:

Narrator sticks pretty much to Actual Factual things that happens and the actor scenes follow suit BUT THEN! THERE IS SUDDENLY A FANFICTION (preceded by narrator going "one could only imagine what the heated conversations were like")

The dark ass lighting is annoying as hell but basically Young Henry bursts into Henry's room to be mad about Chinon (Mirabeau and Loudon) being given to John and they argue for a bit and then Henry gets mad and starts choking him???

But then he stops and then they're both like crying and hugging with this foreboding music. Anyways thanks timeline for the completely made up dadson bait for Me Personally

Blabla blah rebellion etc it's very truncated ad most of it is about bullying Henry LMAO

But ofc we get Eleanor helping da Boyz rebel and being mad Abt Toulouse and then there's the obligatory intimate shots w Richard (this also was recycled in Secrets de Histoire)

Also this series ofc follows the grand tradition of letting you know who John is by giving him a smirk and fancy lil fashion accessory in this case his cunty hat

Anyways pretty fun intro and overall generally factual. I nitpick bc I've just come off my reading ofc but djskjf the psychological narrative of "Henry grew up fighting for his throne in disordered times (the Anarchy) so that led him to want to reassert order and control in the lands and also not relinquish control in his family" feels oversimplified modern psychoanalysis storytelling rather than based in the reality, surprised there wasn't really any brief mention of the whole thing Abt the king of the English still being subject to Louis for the French lands thing bc that feels very central??? To the conflicts?? To me??? but it's a fun intro. At least there were no Party City Wigs like in Secrets de Histoire

#Plantagenets #Henry ii of England #Henry the Young King #Dan Jones #Docudrama #History stuff #Youtube

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everyone-with-a-para · 5 months

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(5/5) alright! arc four! once all the alola stuff wraps up, cole+my guy are...still fired from aether, not that they'd want to be associated with aether now anyway. so it's time to develop a new research angle, and This time it's working with professor burnet to develop a way for them to safely traverse the ultra wormholes that nebby can create. and where does the first one drop them but hisui, over 100 years in the past! and initially they're just. out in the wilderness. and they're not stuck as long as they have nebby, so they could leave, but they want to explore a bit instead of just dipping out because they can't see any signs of civilization. so they do a little wandering+luckily, instead of getting Attacked by anything, they run into the pearl clan's favourite warden: ingo! this ingo is distinctly different from my other para of him; this one has been living in hisui for like. At least ten years. maybe closer to 15. and he only vaguely remembers his home+has basically resigned himself to the fact that he's never gonna see anything even remotely close to it again...until he runs into this little group of very-obviously-modern travellers+is like Oh My God. he pretty much assumes the lot of them are fallers right away+starts fussing immediately, trying to orient them+get them somewhere safe, while THEY'RE all looking at each other like "is it just me or is that a unovan railway uniform. where the hell are we?"

either way, things get cleared up+ingo is...somewhat disappointed to discover that they're not in the same situation as him, but also relieved because good lord nobody deserves that. and they tell him "well we're gonna stay here for a little for research because this place has got pokemon we've never even HEARD of, but when we go we could try+see if we can get you back home." initially ingo declines because he has Duties here, but he *does* accompany them when they go on research because he knows the land better+doesn't want this group of kids (read: roughly 17-25 year olds) dying in the wilderness. and it's during this, while watching everybody Be A Family from the distance, that it occurs to him "ohhh i see. I Miss Having A Family. Badly." and it's not just having a family, it's also having Anyone who really understands him. as much as he's settled into hisuian culture, he's still an outsider from another time. so when it comes time for everyone to pack up+leave for real, he decides (with a bit of regret) to abandon his post as a warden+come with. part of it is the temptation of being able to actually Go Home, but it's also because everybody else has genuinely grown on him+he doesn't want to lose anybody he feels close to again. Found Family Complete. for now at least.

...and THAT'S the story as it stands! this could go a few different directions; right now i'm playing omega ruby+depending on how much i end up thinking about it everybody could end up getting plunked in hoenn. there's also obviously if, how, and when an emmet/ingo reunion happens but nothing concrete has been worked out for that. i'm trying not to go "oh my god this is fucking long" for the 70 millionth time because you DID say you were interested so um. thank you for reading. i REALLY hope this all sends in proper order+tumblr doesn't eat any of these asks lmao but if it does i can resend any of them. again: literally had to draft this in a word doc. can you believe this is the Short version of all this. i swear to god this is meant to be more truncated. i'm not even going into the symbolism of everyone's pokemon teams or anything. did you know genesect is here? fucking genesect has been here the whole time

@ninesecretsteps

Ingo mention Ingo mention Ingo mention!!!! (Can you tell I love him?)

Oogh I put Ingo in Hisui for 5-7 years depending on how I feel but people who do 10+ make me incredibly sad

My Ingo has very similar complicated feelings about his Duties and life he's made in Hisui vs the want to go home when Akari convinces (threatens) Arceus to let them. He very almost decides not to leave. It also doesn't help that he has no memories other than a flash of Emmet's face and the vague knowledge of a fire type pokemon. He's afraid of what he'll find or what he won't find because he just doesn't know whereas Hisui is Known and Predictable (and he's autistic) but also also Hisui never felt like Home. He's always been an outsider no matter how much of the clan eventually accepted him

My Ingo and Emmet do get a reunion and I daydream it a lot

Genesect:🧍

Thank you for sharing!!! I enjoyed reading these immensely!!!

#quill speaks #paraportal #ask #ninesecretsteps

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ihavedoorinsurance · 1 year

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big long post abt bokutachi-kun bc i have worms

so. a little over a week ago, SoapOpera46 (or Yoli-chan) blessed us with this video and i would like to talk abt it at length. piece by piece. this is the true definition of sadan. so much so that it's going under a readmore (if those even matter anymore. i hear fumblr truncates posts automatically?) anyway

full disclosure: i didn't plan any of this. what's to come is basically word puke, off the top of my head, with no organisation or structure to it.

you won't be interested in this unless you're clinically insane. if you're looking for worthwhile opinions on the video, i recommend browsing the comments section. they're short, sweet, and easy to read. nnnnow, without further ado.....

I KU ZO

i'll start off saying i don't know shit about Dream (YUME-SAN as he is so graciously credited in the vid description)! not a damn thing! all i know is he's a Minecraft YouTuber, and up to just yesterday i didn't even know he made music! what seems to be very emo music if this song is anything to go by.

i looked up the lyrics seperately bc tbh i couldnt extrapolate anything from that singing. bokutachi-kun's a star talent and all bless his heart but i needed expert assistance. also according to the blurb at the bottom of the page i referenced, this song references the struggles of depression and ADHD! and myopia, most tragically of all.

here's a student copy.

what to note before we forge onwards: this is contextualised to us by Yoli-chan as a look into Bokutachi's history, saying she: "feeling it fit bokutachi-kun no past very much!!!"

i'm not sure how far in the past this is, but i have some vague ideas pinned on the information that, expressed by Episode 10, Raku and Koneko have already graduated (or dropped out of i'm not discounting that) college by the time the mainline story is in effect.

you also see these silhouettes

of what i assume to be the girls? at around 1:22, so i'm giving it anywhere from 6 to 14 years ago.

and if that seems like a wide ratio that's because it is!! i have no way of knowing what year of high school he's in, when exactly he graduated, how long it's been since then, or anything. i mean he's a fairly young man so i'll take that into account but that hardly helps

(also grant that none of the story takes off until after Raku and Koneko have left college long enough for Raku to call her fellow alumni "old" friends....also wtf what did they major in i've been asking this for years..you don't see them with jobs ever I MEAN PERHAPS KONEKO MAJORED IN NURSING THE COVID PSA DOES INDICATE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL SO IDK)

but damn if any of that actually matters. you can't even peg the year by identifying hiis fatback monitor and Windows 98 ass OS

he is using some..EQUIVALENT of early msn messenger, maybe that puts this in the ballpark of 2000-2003

ik the Covid PSA isn't like properly canon or anything but i'll bet Raku is still using Win98 well after the OS's discontinuation anyway (it went out of service in 2006 if that helps.)

so if Bokutachi's old enough to be in any year of high school in 1998-2000 (assuming this computer is any indication. it might not be!), i'd wager a guess he's anywhere between 24-30 years old by the time NNSG properly starts (again assuming, that 2010 is the actual year the show takes place. once again, it might not be! it's at least post-Hatsune Miku, judging by the Christmas episode). this leaves room for college, but i doubt he went.

kind of what i already assumed, but it's fun trying to put these pieces together.

also can i just say i'm intrigued by the "nya, rawr" adlib in the beginning? that is Hitoshi's Thing, as we well know, but additionally, in the very beginning of the video, there is a box of pocky on the floor of the hallway.

pocky would happen to be one half of Hitoshi's favourite breakfast (plus ramune. this fuck drinks soda and eats cookies for breakfast what is wrong with him.), so i wonder if he had some knowledge of Hitoshi already this early on. we're operating on the premise that this is Bokutachi's younger self singing, right? did Hitoshi go to his school? we don't see him anywhere unlike Raku and Koneko, so idk. maybe "nya, rawr" is just a popular, cool phrase to say in Amerijapan.

potential cool thing: the one pocky stick upside down and sitting outside the box but near it might allude to Bokutachi himself. you do get the feeling he's lonely throughout the song, he's not got one close relationship with a real live person. not in school, not at home...

let's start talking about these lyrics.

I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time Stare at the ceiling while I hold back what's on my mind And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine" And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine"

so i like this set of frames

you see him happily chatting away, but abrubtly he gets tense and stops himself. only after his mood swing is acknowledged does he try to perk back up and affirm to whoever's asking that he's "just fine". clearly he feels some kind of pressure to bottle up his emotions.

the facade begins to wane slightly here: despite the open ears he remains reticent. another thing: he seems to just be very guarded when he's around people. like physically!

you see him holding himself in the midst of confrontation here, earlier he'd balled up his fist because he got upset thinking about something too long... his stance in general is very tight in public, from what i can tell.

here, he's got his arms firmly placed at his sides as he turns away from whoever it was that confronted him earlier. shortly afterwards when he's sure he's not being looked at, he drops his little half smile.

in the first image of this post, again at around 1:22-1:25 you see him holding his bookbag straps and powering through the hallways the longer he continues to walk, like there's a sense of urgency there.

and here, he's around people that are likely just minding their own business but he's just. not comfortable in any way. the song mentions at this point:

"Always bein' judged by a bunch of strange faces Scared to go outside, haven't seen the light in ages"

even though it seems he's being ignored for the most part. everyone who's addressed him thus far in the song has only ever asked him if he was okay. i have to wonder if he's being gossipped about behind his back for being an outcast and is well aware of it.

"haven't seen the light in ages" strikes me as metaphorical. light as in hope. light as in a reason to keep going.

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE MOMENT TO HIGHLIGHT THESE LYRICS

But the fact is I can never get off of my mattress And all that they can ask is "Why are you so sad, kid?" (Why are you so sad, kid?)

my guy has been in bed all day long, just awake and in bed dawn to dusk, tossing and turning unable to get to sleep. or even will himself to get up. he hasn't eaten, drank, brushed his teeth, showered, just. bed. and the first thing his (probably) legal guardian thinks to ask him when he FINALLY manages to find some strength is why he's so sad.

it'd be nice to interpret that in a compassionate way. i think best case scenario, his guardian(s) don't know how to help him and want to talk with him. approaching the subject of utter disengagement from the world is difficult when you haven't lived it, and i can't imagine mental health resources are plentiful in early 2000s Amerijapan.

but also he doesn't seem to trust his legal guardian(s)?? he's just as guarded with them as he is with strangers, look at this at around 0:56

he looks anxious trying to address either of them. the way he's looking back and forth between them it's like he's trying to get a word in edgewise but can't.

they're not particularly given identifiable features. they look fairly similar to the "strange faces" he sees judging him, except they're bigger. they cast a longer shadow and they're no comfort to him at all. helps that the lyrics accompanied are:

"And it just keeps on pilin' It's so terrifying"

which implies to me he's constantly in the habit of racking up shames in his legal guardian's eyes. like they pick at him frequently and find reasons upon reasons to scold him, and remind him of everything that's going wrong. maybe the pressure he feels to perform normalcy is derived from them, because if someone finds something "wrong" with him, they're going to pick and pick and demean him and lose faith in him. and that hits too close to home for him.

(i'm willing to bet he is/was physically punished too. like, shot in the dark, but that makes sense to me with how stiffly he walks and how clammed up you see him around ppl. i might be projecting though but hey. never said i was sure.)

I'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY GUY IS JUST CHRONICALLY ONLINE TOO

morning to night, he finds himself whiling away HOURS on the computer. time spent online (on messaging clients and what have you) outweighs time spent on homework, and studying, possibly eating. anything else that might beg his attention is forgotten.

anything else that might stress him out is forgotten when he turns on the computer. he can mask (OHOHOHOHO) his struggles online because there's no burden of expectation or obligation.

there's a freedom in his anonymity, in how he can choose his company, and lie about being happy, and they'd believe him. no-one asks questions. there's no pressure. and that makes him "happy" so to speak.

i say that because only when he's messing around online do we finally see him peaceful enough to go to sleep. the fog on his brain is lifted when he turns himself into this person that's full of confidence and takes life easy. and even though he might be faking it...

Been wearin' a smile for so long, it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

that'll happen to you when you use another skin to cope with your own shortcomings. i'm acutely aware of this in particular. this might be what some people refer to as irony poisoning? when you do something enough times, even if it's only for show, it becomes habit, and your habits aren't you as a person, but they can certainly shape you.

i wonder if he joked about dark sshit like kidnapping people and committing felonies, etc. to try and make himself let go of the fear of being judged by others. make himself stop feeling empathy so he'd stop acting so careful, thus unchaining himself from his own thought paralysis. plenty of people do that (and some become criminals later on, go figure)

anyhow later on we have a mental breakdown from about 1:31 to 1:39 with:

But I've been places So I'm okay-ish, so I'm okay-ish Yeah, I'm okay, bitch"

coupled with what seems to be a violent start from a dream of some kind?

not sure if this dream IS or is connected to the following scenes of walking through the school hallways + out in the grass, but that would actually make a lot of sense considering "haven't seen the light in ages" compared against his internet addiction. like he found a distraction and thus has little incentive to leave. i imagine he's skipping school and holing up in his room or something.

the effects of what he's doing seem to be catching up with him. you can see him high strung when he gets out of bed, and when he answers to what's likely his guardian(s), it snaps him.

i get the impression he either woke up with all this tension, then realised he slept through the morning and made it worse, OR. the dream sharply reminded him of his current circumstances and THAT made it worse.

maybe he's spiralling because he feels powerless. to stop himself from making bad decisions, from disappointing people, from pushing people away, from underachieving, from misusing his time, from taking his life for granted, from being alone...challenging these doubts about your own agency over your life is tough when you don't know where to start and also you're a teenager.

he's clearly wracked with despair over this but can't act in his own best interest due to closing off all avenues to recovery thanks to never opening up to anyone. god the more i think about it, the more i consider "why are you so sad, kid?" to be accusatory. if you feel singled out in being honest, of course you'll try to avoid that.

also note:

But the fact is I need help, I'm failin' all my classes

damn straight.

jesus that report card. look at that thing, that is straight Fs all the way down. i mean we know he hasn't been doing his homework but god ALL F'S??? IN EVERY SUBJECT????? you'd think he wasn't going to school at all, which kind of lends itself to my idea that he's just altogether not going. or when he is there, doing literally anything else but the work. god damn. relatable

that combined with his outburst, that epic door slam?? that might be what pulls him into the doctor's office later on. like his legal guardian(s) are just sick of his shit and so they get him psychoanalysed.

A FINE ANALYSIS FROM DR. ^w^ PHD, FUCKING "NORMAL JA NAI", WHAT A GENIUS ASSESSMENT. I'M SO GLAD THEY COULD TAP INTO THE HEART OF THE ISSUE AND ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING IN A THOROUGH AND SPECIALISED MANNER. BASED

no seriously even though that shit kills me every time i see it, i like the implication that they only vaguely diagnose symptoms, write a prescription, and send him on his way. like what's really wrong with him is being overlooked by professionals because the mental health awareness just isn't there. as exemplified by:

"They think that I need glasses"

which is a lyric i laughed at but also...that's kinda true to life. you'll say to your school's counsellor, everything that sings to the tune of someone with executive dysfunction. a spectrum disorder even. and they'll be like

"hm. move em up. they cant see the board that's why they're not taking notes right. have you talked to an ophthalmologist". offering bandaid solutions for bigger issues. and speaking of bandaid solutions, DRUGS

"I just really wish that I could pass this (Wish that I could pass this)"

That's what the mask is That's what the point of the mask is"

SDGLKMFKFKLDHNFGJKNGVF I RAN OUT OF IMAGE SPACE LMAOOOO

okay so basically from 1:49-1:59 Bokutachi goes through a moment of crisis where he laments his fate of being labelled as "NORMAL JA NAI". either he doesn't like the things the medication is doing to him or he's skeptical of taking them at all. regardless those shits are going inthe TRASH. my guy is like "fuck big pharma" out here

he is not in a stable frame of mind at all throughout this video. who knows if those pills would have helped. we'll never know because he doesn't trust them. he doesn't want to think of himself as someone who needs that kind of thing.

as far as he's concerned he doesn't! he has his chat group, he has FUCKING MINESWEEPER; if he were to try and "fix" himself now, what would happen to those spaces? would he still be able to navigate them? find the same joy in them as he once did? they're all that matters to him! he's become accustomed to the isolation and this is his only reprieve (read as: escape) from a hostile environment.

(how hostile it really is, that's sort of up in the air. i'm thinking he's got the makings of a dude with some kinda cluster A disorder. ADD and autism are also on my mind, depression because of the song's origins itself, but eh. i digress.)

you can see him calm himself down once it's time to boot up the computer again at 2:00.

so it would seem, he's already given up on trying to be more than what he is right now. change is scary though, i don't blame him. especially when you feel like it's being forced on you when you didn't ask.

maybe this is him trying to regain some kind of control, but...in a decidedly unhealthy way. by sticking his head in the sand and acting like nothing's wrong. burying the idea that he needs help makes him feel less like a problem that needs to be solved and more like a well adjusted person that's just misunderstood.

at 2:09 he pulls out his planner (i refuse to believe that's a smartphone LIKE COME ON THE TIMELINE. PLEASE) and you can kind of watch his stomach churn knowing there's shit to do but his alter ego doesn't care.

his alter ego isn't concerned with that bullshit. "nah i'll have time. i'll do it later. and if i don't get it done tonight, who cares? nothing's gonna happen to me and i don't gotta answer to anybody. i'm not scared." he's developing an apathy to responsibility b/c it frustrates him he can't manage it.

i have to ask if this is where his rebuke of social acceptability took root.

you even see him at around 2:21-2:26 pull out his medical records and write "daijoubu" next to the diagnosis. which also slays me but next to "NORMAL ja nai" it kind of reads like "not being normal is okay".

that's a perfectly fine stance to have when you're just a little kooky! just a tad silly! eccentric even! i don't know if that's something you should be saying to wave away EVERYTHING that could be affecting you (and potentially others if it goes unchecked), just because it makes you uncomfortable to stare it down! that's dangerous!! particularly when you don't know your limits

i'm also kind of loving 2:28-2:32??? where he raises his head to his legal guardians and he's smiling for the first time in front of them.

but now we're well aware all his smiles are performative. he's wearing the mask for them now too.

the fake it 'til you make it policy seems to be his safety net. in order to avoid being treated and seen like a walking blemish, something to be fixed, he's slowly grown to be more comfortable acting well to do, or at least unaffected. then people leave him alone. when he's loose and devil-may-care, he's allowed to be himself. which would be fine if that were honest.

in truth, he's extremely emotional. he's sensitive. he's scared and wound up. he's angry and he's self conscious. he cannot function in the way the world wants him to, and he can't stand his own inaction in the face of his self-inflicted demise. but when that's too shameful to bear, you don't seek anyone out. imagine how much more painful it would be to have someone see you flounder. they'll poke fun. they'll judge.

it's like he sees the world telling him to be better, and his response is to create what he thinks is an objectively better person. even though at the end of the day he is still who he is.

i wonder if he starts wearing that mask permanently because at one point he'd become aware there was no running from himself. with this being his only way to reconcile his failures, it was inevitable.

we end the animation with him going to sleep and his maegami "masked" self looming over the end credits. smiling is equated with wearing a mask consistently throughout the song, so i find the image of him going to sleep with a smile on his face pretty solidly telling me that he's starting the transition into becoming the Projected Bokutachi as opposed to Plain Bokutachi.

this is the beginning of his descent into a more dangerous, yet exciting and outgoing person. he is mentally unwell and owning it. i don't know what happened between high school and the NNSG plotline (or god forbid, what happened between childhood and adolescence), but here we definitely introduce some catalysts for his face-heel turn.

and now i have even more reasons to reconsider this little rat man's true motivations and character depth.

arigatou gozaimasu Yoli-chan (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

#nnsg #nyan neko sugar girls #nnsgposting #bokutachi-san #no one is going to read this!! and what's more i actually highly encourage that you don't!!!!#look at this shit is longer than the Half Blood Prince #im really just rambling but like god damn you dont understand #how good it is to be validated with this #after eight years my curiosity has been rewarded #and now to go even further beyond and make even MORE fanfic #god i should show off my theory if were going this far with it right #yeah ill do that. at some point though not tonight #i need fresh brain

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