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talkorsomething · 2 months

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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

#sh tw #(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #im cursed with being a bit too self aware so #i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things #(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER #BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM #back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat #[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything #so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend #so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice #i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together #(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING

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nereidprinc3ss · 3 months

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okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.”

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.”

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief.

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.”

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.”

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication.

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest.

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.”

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest.

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.”

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you.

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.”

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there.

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday.

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence.

“Can we talk?”

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph.

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?”

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!”

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth.

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with.

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.”

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?”

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins.

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.”

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.”

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?”

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad.

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you.

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.”

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake.

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered.

“Are you still mad at me?”

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm.

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.”

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.”

He chuckles.

“At an entirely different university.”

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident.

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.”

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?”

Spencer sighs.

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.”

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin.

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected.

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.”

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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rookiesbookies · 4 months

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mischievous COD ideas😈

Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat

To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)

The boys with pregnant brat wife

Price

This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.

Soap

He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.

Ghost

Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.

Konig

Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.

Keegan

your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.

Gaz

He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”

Krueger

Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

#cod x reader #call of duty #captain price #john price #konig call of duty #konig x reader #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz x reader #simon riley x you #john soap mctavish x reader #soap mactavish #keegan russ x reader #keegan p russ #cod krueger #krueger x reader #sebastian krueger

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nerves-nebula · 29 days

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so a little while ago i was watching this video from this sociopath lady and one thing she said offhandedly really struck me, which is that she doesn't feel love, so to her love is actions. which like. yeah, same. exactly the same.

im not sure if i don't feel love, but i know that my experiences with abuse means that i really REALLY don't care how much you feel like you love someone on the inside. if you don't take their feelings into consideration i don't care how much affection and attachment you feel for them, that's not "real" love to me. cuz i can't verify how you feel inside, i can only see how you act.

I believe my parents mean it when they say they love me, but i don't believe that their definition of love fits in line with mine. so to me its worthless. on the other hand, my oldest sister has always loved me and not always acted like it, but i take their love as real/meaningful because when i said i didn't want to talk to them because they were always mean, they changed. they worked on themself.

like i cannot overstate how little someone's internal feelings matter to me. i'm not super offended if someone isn't capable of loving me the way they "should" be able to on the inside. what does that matter to me? I wouldn't be able to know for sure the feelings their describing are the ones i want anyway.

what i care about is if they care enough to be sensitive about my needs and desires. i might not feel love normally, but i remember to bring my roommate the lemonade she likes that's sold on campus. i might not be able to feel like i am loved in may daily life, but those moments when someone remembers me are the closest i'll get to it.

when my roommate remembers the kinds of snacks i like? when my coworkers warn me that something is about to make a loud noise? i'm genuinely touched. like, oh my god you not only remembered this thing about me but are going out of your way to show that you care enough to make my existence slightly better. ok im going on a rant now but yea idk this is important to me.

#nnstuff #rambling #im writing this to avoid homework lmao

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 8 months

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Tangerine eating the reader out.

that’s it that’s the whole thing.

im gonna give you a few (many) thots, instead if that's okay, just as I have lots of these on my page and there are only so many ways to write about it😭😭😭

filth under cut, 605 // mdni

so first things first...

he's a giver!! huge giver. sure he likes to receive, but nowhere near as much as he loves to give

he's such a MUNCH and loves nothing more than to be between your thighs. could spend an hour or two with his face trapped between your legs, just sucking and licking. he absofuckinglutely loves your taste and cannot get enough

sometimes if you're doing a mundane activity or just doing something around the house, he asks if he can eat you out. like he needs it to keep him going. so for that reason, he's eaten you out in almost every spot in the house!! .. dining table, sofa, kitchen counter, his office, stairs, by the front door, car (ik its not inside the house, just go with it)

he'd drop to his knees in an instant if you said yes. kinda imagine him like a dog on a lead for his girl. he's completely whipped for her (or at least I like to think) he'd probs kiss you for saying yes then kneel (omg)🫡

though it would depend on the mood of it- if it was more lovely dovey, he'd work you up for a bit- kissing your thighs, teasing you, maybe a bit of worshipping before tongue to pussy contact. but if you were in the kitchen he'd kneel down. dragging down your bottoms and just go straight in. he's adaptable afterall ;)

if he had a bad day, he's eating you out. if he's bored, he's eating you out. BUT, if YOU had a bad day- best believe he's eating you out. if you get home stressed and frustrated, he's got you on the sofa within seconds, legs spread with his face between. he makes you talk about your day while he’s lapping you up. you have to tell him what's bothering you - (he LOVES when you stutter and struggle to think of the words <3) it makes him feel like he's helping you forget (but dw, he'd still listen to you properly after!!)

he knows where the clit is, I mean look at him. he knows how to get you off. he can make you squirt (if you wanted to)

tan + tongue finger combo = a really fucking good time

also also!! he wants you to sit on his face, plain and simple. he doesn't care how heavy you are- just wants your pussy on his face anyway he can get it

i gotta stop omg, but a few more!! forgive me!!

he's not afraid to get messy

gets REAL into it, squeezes your thighs, hips, waist, tummy, tits (he reaches up to grab them😖)

he loves when you get sensitive and clamp your thighs, it squishes his head and he loves it!!! he def tries to rip your thighs back open, holding them and hooking his arms under

he spits your slick back on you and laps it up again <3

he gets so HARD eating you out. maybe he came a couple times... UNTOUCHED !! (omg) 🫠

he loves when you cum on his tongue

if his tongues inside, the tip of his nose is pressed against your clit

he's down for period oral if you are. will help clean you beforehand and then just flick at your clit with his tongue, maybe fingers hooked inside, pumping you. he’s covered in blood a lot of the time so he has no problem if you don’t

okay that's enough bc I will never stop if I carry on. mrs red is visiting, if you hadn't noticed by my brainrot and inability to stop 😔

#ask #need to be spayed #tangerine #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine smut

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choccy-milky · 3 months

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omg hi ive been following u bc i love ur comics but i did'nt realise that you have a fanfiction?? and that its rlly big on ao3. i thought u were just a tumblr comic creatorrr. anyway im gonna go and read it now but i love clora so muchhhhh!! <3

thank u for ur committment!!

BAHAHA my brainrot cannot be satisfied with just fanart or fanfic I NEED TO DO BOTH🤪🤪thats so funny tho LOL but THANK YOU!! AND I HOPE U LIKE IT💖💖🙏

THANK YOU!! AND SOON!! im writing as we speak, and i just decided what i want the drawing for this chapter to be and quickly drew it using my laptop trackpad before i forget LMFAO

look at this masterpiece???like😍😍😍heres your sneak peek for next chap!!

LMFAO AND HES NOT EVEN THE FIRST IVE HAD MANY PPL TELL ME THIS, clora will never escape the clorox allegations😩

IMMA BE REAL ITS LIKE 50/50. in my headcanon, seb was never the type to really want children/care about children. like if he never met clora i imagine him just graduating and becoming a curse-breaker or auror and going off on his own. but since meeting clora its like damn.....i do want kids with u.....i think #1 for him would be out of a desire to have clora be his full ass wife and have everything with her that comes with that (ie children) and warming up to the idea more, and then ofc once he actually sees the kid born ITS OVER (i also have it planned that their first kid is gonna be a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes so like......a little mini clora. sebs doomed🥺hes gonna spoil her so bad🥺🥺)

AW TYYY💖💖im glad you like how i draw him🥹 and ikr i need to draw older seb more, bc i am a slut for seb in that trenchcoat and black gloves🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️actually wait while we're on the topic of my curse-breaker comic, i forgot about this LMAOO. I NEEDED REFERENCE PICTURES OF SEBS POSE so i put on a coat and similar shoes and forced my roommate to take pictures of me (she was very confused but also very supportive) i was like "i need you to take a picture of me on all fours from multiple angles. AND ITS NOT FOR SMUT I SWEAR" LMAO (i still dont think she believed me)

im dead it looks like im in the depressed anime pose bc theres no choccy milky in the fridge or something😩😩

#ask #also its funny cause i like seeing ppls drawings of seb and their mc but when i draw MY seb with other ppls mcs it feels so wrong #bc im so used to seeing my seb in my style with my clora so when i draw my seb with other mcs im like YOU CHEATER !HOW DARE U! WHERES CLORA #LMAOOO #the real reason i dont do sebxmc commissions (kidding its bc i already have a job and im lazy)#loving-him-was-red13 #riskiest-biscuit

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narwhalandchill · 23 days

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how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

#im actually so sorry for dumping this on you anon i Really hope this was what you were referring to bc . if not then JJWDJKADJKDW #ill feel horrible 😭😭😭😭 but also. this is the brand i have no clue What Else would it be #i Guess it could be about arlecchino as a whole ? im sorry anon i didnt actually read the entire SQ log so idk yet how it all goes #but sure ask me abt my arle thoughts if ud like after this jumpscare once the patch has gone live jjkjkdjkwjkjkdw #also 286 months is 23 years 10 months. no i dont have an age hc for him set in stone or anything but eh . its in the ballpark #asks #aaaand unsurprisingly this goes into #childeposting #genshin

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omgpoindexter · 6 months

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more nurseydex fics!!!

i’ve been doing my duty properly and reading some different nurseydex fics on ao3 lately 🫡 i tried to find some that are more recent, however i inevitably found some that are older but slipped through the cracks for me.

here are some of the ones i came across that you need to read! i might make this a thing again if anyone is interested, im sure y’all have been much more on the ball with reading nurseydex fics than i have over the years but i do love reccing <3

suddenly this summer it’s clear by @dessertwaffles

The summer before senior year, Nursey and Dex become closer than ever.

Or, Nursey and Dex's developing relationship, as told through their text messages.

i was absolutely grinning the entire way through this. it’s a texting fic, with images rather than plain text (so clever!) but their personalities are so strong and their interactions are just perfect! and you know i love a texting fic

getting used to letting go by @jennybeantime

Dex was supposed to have a fancy job in some city upon graduation, but his plans changed once his uncle died and left the family home in Maine to him. Without immediate obligations of their own, Nursey, Chowder and Farmer follow Dex up there to help him clear it out and clean it up.

this fic is BEAUTIFUL. if you haven’t read it then please do yourself a favour and do it now. it captures certain feelings and emotions so effortlessly and i felt like i was in a little maine bubble living this story with them. i can’t believe i missed this one before, please please read!!

got the feeling you’re the right thing after all by @bisexualnursey

Two and a half years after he breaks up with Dex to go to grad school across the country, Nursey runs into him again when he visits New York for the holidays. What starts as them just rekindling their friendship quickly turns into a whole other thing: a 100% no-strings-attached friends with benefits arrangement while they’re in the same city.

Which is totally chill because Nursey is definitely over Dex. He swears. He’s going back to California soon anyway.

i seriously CANNOT BELIEVE i never read this before but i think i was in my inactive era when this was posted. it’s just so perfect!!! all the feelings and interactions with not only dex and nursey but all the other characters, friends and family, they all felt so real and i loved them so much. i’ll be rereading this a LOT! you should too!!

here i am (leaving you clues) by @averteddeyes

Will loves Nursey. Nursey loves Will. Will isn’t really quite sure how to deal with it.

(Alternatively: Will learns acceptance through poetry, hesitant communication, and brightly colored sticky notes.)

this is really gorgeously written. angst warning, because ouch!!! also poetry as a love language, like a really good selection of poetry, i really enjoyed it and how it weaves into the story. and the bittydex friendship is so important to me!!!

volta by @plusoultres

volta (n.) a turning point or point of change in a poem, most commonly a sonnet.

Or, five times a poem doesn’t reach its intended recipient, and one time it does; five drafts, and one work completed; five turning points, and one ending.

the second fic was inspired by this one, and thank goodness it was because this one totally slipped through the cracks and i’m so glad i read it. their banter is just brilliant and i love the variation in medium, and the poetry is beautiful! i could quote lines from this but im not going to. just. read it

things got weird (when we made out) by @andtimestoodstill

Nursey is being stupid about this. He knows he’s being stupid.

super fun and really cute, i love it when these two are just being idiots. great inclusion of the other teammates too. read it for this line alone: “[You’re doing] That thing where you forget to look like you hate Dex and just stare at him like some Victorian lady who just saw a hot dude for the first time.” because it made me laugh out loud

things that go bump in the night by @smashthatlikebitty

The first time it happens, Dex rolls over and flings so many obscenities in Nursey’s direction that even his Grandmother would have to sit down — and she cursed so much at Dex’s cousin’s wedding that the whole family has been banned from that church ever since.

Nursey just stills in the dark, one shoe off. A languid, infuriating presence. “Chill, man.”

essentially all the times nursey’s clumsy ass wakes dex up in the night. oh how i love pretending these two roomied their way into a relationship! this is so cute, smiled all the way through

some things take two people to build by @cricketnationrise

“You are the single most dramatic person I have ever met,” Dex mutters, trying valiantly to hide his grin.

Or, 5 times Dex wishes their relationship was real +1 time he doesn't have to

this was so fun, yet again i love them being idiots!!! these two in new york city is so important to me. and i for one would LOVE to read the work party 5+1 fic. just saying

#heavily considering doing more of these if anyone’s interested #also y’all are so good in this fandom it’s so INSPIRING !#nurseydex #fic rec

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crushedsweets · 4 months

Text

OK I NEED TO CLEAR MY ASKBOX

IM JUST GONNA ANSWER A TON OF THEM HERE SO I DONT CLOG UP MY FEED....

hi >.<

this is so fucking sweet i remembered how happy i was when i first got my car. i cried everyday for a week straight because i was so happy. very glad yall got to watch me get my first car. i spend over an hour in her every day commuting now. LMFAOOO (i named her lindsay btw) ((after tdi lsinday)). im so sorry im late but thank you so much this meant sm !!! <3

you asked me this in august im evil oh my god. anyway i aagree. but i am always inclined to forever think he's a midwest emo guy. twin sized mattress forever

SHE NEEDS AND DESERVES SO MANY.

im immediately inclined to say clocky or toby the second i see time and fire mentions. so ticciwork. my clocky is often a bit messy so she'd be pissed and angry and upset over the sort of war she's found herself in, especially as she sees toby just falling deeper into it. 'my god, was i oblivious?' when she finally realizes toby will always, always put Slenderman before her. frustrating. 'hell stays hungry for a world so weak' natalie is hungry for a good world, but she thinks everyone is too weak for goodness, meanwhile toby is hungry for power so he can make everyone else seem weak. etc. 'they only want you to bleed' they being slendy, operator, zalgo, etc etc etc... power, being a pawn, fighting, using humans as toys in a battlefield, etc etc.. yeah

RELEASE ME JOEY

i genuinely think nina is a really good influence on so many of the creeps. like theyre all assholes, traumatized, refuse to believe in the good in the world, etc etc. but nina is traumatized and still kickin. she comes in like ^_^ hello chat. and i think that, while its still important to feel the shitty feelings, it's really grounding to see someone whos just so .. able to be happy. idk. someone who SEEKS joy, rather than expects it to fall into their lap, and blames the world when it doesnt

this si perfect idk why i forgot about bats for him. gotta get back into this idea

AHHH OK I WILL DO MORE EVENTUALLY i just wanna say thank yewww i think theyre such a good sibling dynamic. like little brothers and big sisters and both being little assholes to eachother but would die for the other. idk. ugh. important to me.

actually this sounds really sweet..... thats funny cuz i was JUST talking to a friend about who i would have EJ go endgame with if i had to, but i couldnt settle on anyone. but liu seems like a good fit for ej. i think they'd be super sweet

ANON ME TOO AHHHH ITS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING EVER. I DONT GAF ABOUT EVIL MEAN 'CANON' SLENDER I LOVE WHEN HE'S A DAD AND WORRIES AND STRESSES. IEPFB AND KASTOWAYS SLENDY>

AH THANK YOU!!! he reminds me of my little cousins HAHA theyre like 10-14 right now and theyre all cuties.... just playing roblox and being mischievous...

THIS IS ABOUT THE BLUSHING NAT DRAWING ISNT IT AHAH OMG THANK YOU!!! i think shes so cute. i know she cant handle compliments. she's either deadpanned 'thanks' or just covers her face and says 'shut up' cuz she doesnt know what to do.

I LOVE HER TOO!!!

GOOD NEWS THEN ive drawn her a handful of times since u sent this HAHA TYSM

you sent like... natobina i think... ok tbh kinda slaps

OK REAL but also when i read it i keep reading it as 'cochina' and i cannot bring myself to name the throuple that </3 HAHA

TBH AHAHA I SEE IT. TOBYS AMETHYST GARNETS NATALIE AND NINA IS STEVEN.

i want jeff to ache in his loneliness

i need to draw connie asap but also THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THE CAR CONGRATS I REALLY APPRECIATE IT IM SO HAPPY I LOVE MY CAR SO MUCH i gotta go vaccuum her..

shes such a cat to me. feline. of sorts, if you will

also good news for you anon, i have also drawn her an ungodly amount of times since youve sent this. LOL

THEYRE MY ANGELS I HAVE MORE OF THEM !!! I LOVE THEM!! AHHHGGG

literally the second that people tell me i made them start to like clocky i am overwhelmed with joy. i feel so much ache when people aren't fond of her bc shes so fucking cool and such a good character and so much fun. so sad that 2015 era creepypasta fandom destroyed her. but im here to fix it...

IM SORRY ANON I BARELY DRAW HIM HES JUST SO BOYISH I LAUGH EVERYTIME I SEE HIM FKAHAHAAH OK OKOK ILL CHANGE ILL DRAW HIM I SWEAR

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING EMOJI ANONS BAHAHA u guys r funny

incredibly. happy. to do this to u.

nope! im not too interested in the 2021 nina just cuz i feel like i've seen that character concept many times (not just in jane), BUT if i had to do my own intepretation of her, 2021 nina would be INCREDIBLY immature in like. not a childish way, but an entitled, angry-fueled adult who cannot comprehend anyone else's thoughts/feelings. and thus, would despise OG nina (although within reason, OG nina idolizes the person who killed her family) . but even if there wasnt a good reason to dislike OG nina, she'd be mean. and OG nina would be mad and bitch. and theyd theyd fight. HAHA

I-IF...???????? ANON?

HELD TO THE FUCKING BRIM

#asks #ok thats 30 asks.#wow #ok #i was skipping things that are requests for art/headcanons just cuz i dont wanna throw a drawing/hc in this thing so HAHA

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jacaerysgf · 1 year

Text

Flowers | The Series | Chapter Six | Odd

Summary | You have a very… Odd? Second morning. You didnt think it was possible to get anymore unbelievable than yesterday. But it had.

Pairing | Jacaerys x Fem!Reader

Warnings | not proofread, shorter and jacaerys-less chapter (im sorry next chapter with be his pov so don't worry!)

Word Count | 1.4k

Series Masterlist

The next morning you're sitting across from your mother at breakfast who's insistent you two wait for your father. "Mother im hungry." She glares, "He'll be here any minute." You groan and lean back, "Oh sit up properly its unladylike." You readjusted yourself as your father bursts through the door with a frantic look.

"Dear whats wrong?" Your father sits and downs a cup of wine. Hes not a morning drinker or even really a drinker at all, you begin to worry. "Father-" "I was approached by joffery this morning asking for permission to court you." Your mother gasps before smiling, "Oh this is wonderful."

You however cannot believe what you're hearing, Courtship? With you? You liked him sure, he was much nicer and much better to look at than most of the men in court but a courtship with him? you had only met him last night. "Did you give your approval?" "Of course he did sweetheart. Right dear?" Your father chugs another glass, "Yes." He's acting odd. Its all you can think about as your mother goes on and on about how wonderful this is how beautiful the vale is.

You can only look at your father as he has an odd look. you place a hand on his arm and his eyes turn to you. Noticing your worried face he places a hand on yours and squeezes it, He smiles, if you didn't know him as well as you did you would believe it to be a true one but you can tell it doesn't reach his eyes.

A knock on the door spares him your questioning as he goes to answer it, He comes back quickly and ushers you over, you move towards the door and are shocked by the sight,

"Ser joffery?" He stands there with a smile and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "Good day my lady." "Good day ser...." Your words come out slow and rough as you stare at the bouquet in his hands. He sees your eyeing it and smiles, "For you my lady, a beautiful bouquet for a beautiful lady."

You don't want to take it but you do. A large bouquet of red dahlia's. You hope they mean the positive as you hope for all flowers but the negative rings in the back of your head especially after seeing your fathers reaction to jofferys courtship. Dishonesty. You feel sick looking at them but you force a smie anyways and take them, forcing out a thank you.

You move back into the room and place them in an empty vase as your mother invites him in. "Please come in! Have you eaten yet we were about to begin, join us." He smiles and shakes his head. "I apologize i have just eaten, though i hope i can take you up on that offer one day." Your mother laughs and nods, your father stands at the far end of the room, his face unreadable. You walk over to him as he turns away to face the dresser and your wrap your arms around him.

His tense body relaxes as he sighs and turns around with your arms still trapped around him and he gives you a smile. A real one. He kisses you on the forehead and moves to join your mother who's chatting with joffery. You want to ask him a million questions but you know nows not the time. "I was just about to ask if the lady would like to join me in the training grounds and watch me." You snap back into resisting at the request. Its an odd request, there are not many fighters at your home and if they are they are just passing through for the night.

"Ive always been curious about swortfighting Ser joffery, id love to join you." He smiles at you, "Wonderful, I will come collect you some time later." You nod and smile. He says some parting words and leaves not before kissing your hands as he leaves.

"What a charming young man." You can't help but agree, its true he is charming and handsome though you are more inclined to think prince jacaerys is more attractive.

You feel sick as you think about him but you have to shake off the thoughts. It will never amount to anything so you must let him go.

Does the prince train? Maybe you will see him there. You hope not, or maybe you do.

Tags; @elissanatok

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who-is-page · 8 months

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hey! i'm new to this community so im so sorry if this is rude. i just heard about otherkin and therians from sophieinwonderland? but she said things about how being attracted to otherkin and therian people is like zoophilia and stuff. i'm sure those posts are still up on her blog if you want to look. anyways, that made me feel weird? so that's why i'm asking you. you seem to know a lot of things? based on my vibe check. so i was just wondering what your thoughts on this are.

I've had sophieinwonderland blocked for a really long time now, so I had to take a quick jaunt through her blog to check this-- I'm guessing you're referring to this post from 2022, where she says "Zoophilia means an attraction to animals. [...] I think we can all agree that biological nonhuman animals cannot consent and that bestiality is wrong. But what actually constitutes zoophilia is so much murkier. [...] if attraction to animals is zoophilia, is attraction to animal-identifying biological humans?" (It's important to note that Sophie states elsewhere on her blog that the TL;DR of what she was trying to convey in this post and the related debacle surrounding it is that she doesn't believe in thoughtcrimes, doesn't want non-offending paraphiles harassed or attacked, and supports human-bodied animal-persons in relationship with other consenting human-bodied adults. These are all pretty reasonable stances to hold, all things considered, and we don't want to conflate her with actual Zetas and bestialists-- she just seems to accidentally be repeating some questionable rhetoric without realizing it, because she isn't familiar with the therian community and its unique missing stairs in this regard. Source)

So from an outsider perspective, regarding folks who aren't particularly familiar with the otherkin and therian communities and who don't know better, this can seem like a genuine point or a fair question to bring up. What people don't actually often realize is that not only is this not true, but this sort of rhetoric is actually most often used as a bestialist dogwhistle. Let me explain.

So first off: no, having a partner who is an otherkin, a therian, a non-human fictionkin, or who otherwise is a human that identifies as an nonhuman animal does not make someone a zoophile nor a bestialist. Having sex with your human-bodied consenting adult partner is not bestiality. Loving them for who they are is not zoophilia. Zoophilia is, first and foremost in this context, an attraction to real-life actual animals. Things like thinking Mufasa LionKing is hot, or being a murrsuiter, or following a therian on OnlyFans, doesn't count.

(For those interested, there actually is a specific orientation term for people who are strictly alterhuman4alterhuman-- the term is "Medusan," it was coined in 2018, and it's actually more popular than you think.)

Now, here's where the unique problems of specifically the therian community comes into play, and why what sophieinwonderland is implying here is teetering close to an unintentional dogwhistle on her part, something she wouldn't have known because she's not a member of our communities. If you're not interested in the history aspect of this and why referring to therianthropy or otherkinship as potentially or inherently zoophilic is a dogwhistle, you can jump-ship here and I won't blame you-- I'm putting it below the cut for brevity's sake.

The therian community, if you're not aware, has had an issue in the past where several long-term, respectable members were revealed to be bestialists, either they themselves participating in bestiality or being knowingly supportive of those who do. These individuals were (and still are) also, unfortunately, in charge of or otherwise held leadership positions in some of the biggest and oldest therian and otherkin forums-- namely Therian Guide, OtherkinPhenomena (who shared a majority of its staff with Therian Guide), and the Werelist (who also shared staff with Therian Guide). You can check out my Therian Guide Beware for details and citations, because that's where most of this initial explosion of "WTAF" stemmed from.

When this all came out in roughly 2017-2019, it created complete community chaos. People felt betrayed, and rightly so. There were a lot of divisions in the community about where to draw the line, when, and how. And the bestialists intentionally made everything as messy as possible during the course of it all.

The bestialists largely justified their abuse through their own therianthropy and connection to animality, and when that didn't work, they pivoted to trying to include as much of the therian community under the "zoophilia" umbrella as possible in order to argue that it was natural or normal for therians to sexually abuse animals-- you can see an example of them doing that here, in Therian Guide owner DustWolf's baseless Twitter assertion that "60% of all therians are zoo[phile]s." (mirror).

For the record, no, 60% of therians are not zoophiles, and no current statistics from the community supports this. I wrote a Twitter thread in 2022 debunking this claim. But this also ties into the next point-- DustWolf isn't just referring to people who are attracted to real life animals. DustWolf is also referring to bestialists in this statistic, even if it's not immediately apparent.

The bestialists tried to paint this picture of all therians being pro-bestiality by trying to expand the definition of the term "zoophile" in public discourse and muddle its meaning as much as possible, to mean everything from "person who commits bestiality" to "person who had a crush on Nick Wilde as a teenager" to "person who experiences a sex drive and who also identifies as a nonhuman animal." They also used anti-bestiality backlash to try and lay claim on anyone who got caught in the cross-fire, playing the sympathetic shoulder to people who weren't bestialists or even zoophiles to get them to join up in their communities, and they coined terms like "zootherian" to try and reinforce a nonexistent connection between bestiality and therianthropy. It was, to summarize it succinctly, a complete clusterfuck. Nowadays, bestialists have also picked up queer social justice rhetoric and language to try and argue for the legalization of bestiality, though this wasn't as prevalent 2 years ago, which is its own issue.

Because of all this, assertions and implications that therians and otherkin are by default zoophiles, or that a majority of therians or otherkin are zoophiles, or that therianthropy and otherkinship can be intrinsically tied to zoophilia, or that zoophilia is queer and alterhuman, or even publicly identifying as a zoophile, is considered a major dogwhistle in the community. Historically when people who aren't just outright anti-kin have said these types of things to our communities, it's been to cover the asses of people who want to normalize and legitimize bestiality, or because the person in question is freely involved with communities and groups who have welcomed pro-bestiality attitudes. Saying that shit is a quick way to get blocked by a ton of alterhumans on most platforms. Sophie made a distinct division between "bestiality" and "zoophilia" in her commentary so it's obvious she didn't intend it that way, but it's still really not a great thing to say or imply because of the history behind it and the ways it's been used before.

So, to reiterate: no, people who date therians and otherkin aren't zoophiles, and people who say such are implying a lot more than they actively realize.

#Ask #Anonymous #long post

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scalproie · 1 month

Text

Im in writing mood but i dont think i could work that into a story so.

In the tekken hades au, Hell Embodied IS Kazumi but not really or more accurately, not anymore:

Quick lore/mechanic recap: during a run, Jin has a chance to go meet Azazel via ominous purple crystals randomly spawning and get the optional boss fight Devil Jin, which during the first encounter unlock the devil fighting style, and the next encounters allow Jin to get or level up devil style moves. Other than that, Azazel has a story sidequest involving "Kazumi" (basically the Chaos and Nyx equivalent).

Basically during that story sidequest, we get Hell Embodied/"Kazumi" backstory and lore. It was originally a place that came to be because of Azazel's influence but it was slightly closer to the surface than where Azazel, a primordial entity older than most gods, resides (Alex is also from where Azazel is from and that's why theyre both reptilian looking but that's another story).

Eventually it developped a curiosity for what was above and assumed a corporeal form to wander up there (and that's when it added she/her to its pronouns)

She attracted the attention of the new God King Heihachi that just finished usurping his father's throne and he eventually asked to wed her. Initially she intended to use him to gain power and control over this surface world but down the line she developped real feelings for him. And they had a son :)

Eventually Heihachi found out the truth about her nature and, feeling betrayed and wholly believing she did not in fact, love him, he stripped her of her corporeal form and status of goddess and drove her back to her "real" place, aka the middle ground between the primordial dark and the surface world, aka Hell, where she would be utterly incapable of leaving, not even getting the chance to stay a few moments up there like its son and grandson (And Heihachi could do that since his status of God King gave him the authority to do so.)

So that was one way to permanently "kill" a god: by forcefully making everyone forget about them, they are no longer a person. So as far as Heihachi and everyone else was concerned, Kazumi was officially dead.

(Another way is to keep a god in a constant state of dying, so to speak, because leaving a god for dead will only insure they return eventually. Not having the authority of the God King, thats what Lars, Lee and Kazuya did to Heihachi: after Kaz defeated him, they put him at the center of the earth, letting the deadly magma of the place do the job, and bind him there so he could not escape. Lars feels bad about it but it needed to be done for the good of everyone, Lee was like "Oh No! Anyway..." at that, and Kazuya would've thrown a party if it was smth he did. And was all too happy to let the memory of his father be buried forever and to never talk about him again.)

(Young gods can die permanently bc they didnt get enough time to cement themselves into the world. Smth smth if a chick cannot break its egg's shell it will die without being born. Wink wink)

Heihachi kept their child around initially for the same reason Kazuya will keep Jin eons later: he reminded him of his mother. And for the same reason Kazuya will treat Jin, Heihachi came to resent Kazuya: he installed a legacy of parricide by "killing" Jinpachi the Sky God, reducing him to a concept, so to secure his throne (but lying to himself as him making sure his son is a worthy heir), Heihachi did the whole heaven cliff tossing to Kazuya.

"Kazumi" found the body of its/her son and yknow the rest.

As for the reason Kazuya doesnt recognize her, well, for starters, the corporeal form of Kazumi was her human design, but Hell Embodied (who it/she just is now) looks more like a ethereal ghostly version of devil Kazumi. Another reason is that Kaz is a stubborn man who adamently refuses to aknowledge his past pain, be it losing his mother or his father in general.

If Jin confront "Kazumi" after Azazel spilled the beans, it will make Jin promise to not reveal anything to Kazuya, for a multitudes of reasons.

Jin relunctantly agrees but he does call Hell Embodied "grandma" when he's on his own, and he does feel closer to her now.

#okay now back to my *shaking crying screaming* three other projects #tagging later #tekdes au #i wasnt sure how i would handle kazumi in this au tho i had a bit of a idea but val's essay about how she might not had wanted kazuya dead-#opened my eyes💖

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