is the "my mom was obsessed with teen pop stars and with tlc kids dancing shows so she was convinced i was going to be the next britney spears" thing common or was that just my mom. I feel like that was a whole thing

LunLun's Reading Challenge

16. Do you like to read poetry? If so, share your favorite poem with us.

My favorite poem is probably anyone lived in a pretty how town by E.E. Cummings. My high school physics teacher, Dr. S, regularly made us read poetry, and I fell in love with this poem. I didn't understand it at first, but Dr. S told me to go outside and read it out loud to the tree that stood outside of our classroom. Well, I did that a few times and finally understood "anyone" and "noone." Multiple readings later, I was sure I understood the poem as a whole. Or, at least, I understood it more than I had. Anyway, here it is:

anyone lived in a pretty how town (with up so floating many bells down) spring summer autumn winter he sang his didn't he danced his did.

Women and men(both little and small) cared for anyone not at all they sowed their isn't they reaped their same sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few and down they forgot as up they grew autumn winter spring summer) that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf she laughed his joy she cried his grief bird by snow and stir by still anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones laughed their cryings and did their dance (sleep wake hope and then)they said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon (and only the snow can begin to explain how children are apt to forget to remember with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess (and noone stooped to kiss his face) busy folk buried them side by side little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep and more by more they dream their sleep noone and anyone earth by april wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding) summer autumn winter spring reaped their sowing and went their came sun moon stars rain

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | one

A/N: Here’s the beginning of my new mini-series!  I hope you all enjoy it.  It will definitely be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared!  There will be five parts!

SUPPORT MY WRITING HERE: https://ko-fi.com/spine_buster

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

                                                                   *     *     *     *     *

Brock Boeser felt like he was at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, with everybody around the circle introducing themselves and their similar predicaments.  The group was in a big meeting room at the local community centre, and when he walked in, he saw a group of dads playing basketball in the gym.  He sort of wanted to join them instead of being here, in this room, with all these people that he didn’t know talking about what they were going to talk about, but he’d done this back in Minnesota, at his mother’s behest with his siblings, and he was going to do it here, too, in Vancouver, to make her happy and ease her mind and to make sure that he was easing his own mind.  

“Um, hello everyone.  My name is Brock Boeser.  I’m from Minnesota, but I’m living in Vancouver.  And um, I’m here with you all because my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Hello Brock,” everyone smiled at him, and he smiled and nodded back.

“So it was your dad that was diagnosed,” the leader, a kind, older woman named Esther who had greeted him at the door and stuck with him until everybody sat down, egged on a conversation.  He knew she was doing it because he was new; everybody in this room probably already knew each other.  A part of him actually wondered if anybody knew who he was.  “When?”

“Um, he—he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2010,” Brock revealed, stuttering it out.  He knew he’d have to be open at these things – open so people could empathize with him, open so he could empathize with others – but it was still tough for him to do so.  “But he—it’s—it’s not just Parkinson’s.  Two years after he was diagnosed, he was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury.  In 2017, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He beat it but then in June it returned to his liver and chest.  In July, he had a heart attack and his heart stopped beating for 15 minutes.  I was with him and—I—it’s—it’s a lot, as you can imagine,” he tried not to start crying right then and there.  Imagine that – first meeting with a Parkinson’s Society of BC support group and he’d bawl like a baby.

“Goodness me, Brock,” Esther said.  “He has support at home?”

“Um, well, money isn’t an issue now, but when I was growing up my mom worked three jobs to make sure we were all taken care of,” he revealed.  “I’d pitch in too wherever I could, obviously.”

“But it’s been tough for a number of years.”

Brock paused.  It had been tough for a number of years.  It had been really tough for a number of years.  He nodded his head.  “Yes ma’am.  I try to take it day by day.”

Esther nodded as well.  “I don’t know if you pray, Brock, but I know a couple of members around the circle do, and, well – you’ll be kept in all our prayers.”

Brock saw a few people nod their head.  Another older woman, probably his mom’s age, clutching a rosary; a Sikh man dressed in a casual suit; a younger woman, probably in her thirties, with short blonde hair.  He appreciated the sentiment.  He knew that people took prayer very seriously – that people suffering took prayer very seriously.  It was, realistically, one of the kindest things somebody could ever say to you: “I’m praying for you.”  “Thank you very much,” he said, nodding his head once.

***

There was an arrangement of cookies at the end of the meeting.  Even after the 90 minutes of everybody talking about their experiences and emotions, they apparently liked to stick around afterwards as well just to mingle.  It didn’t all have to be doom and gloom, he thought.  It didn’t all have to be about Parkinson’s or about sick people or losing your loved ones all the time.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about the news.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about sports.  The weather.  Anything.  Anything to make a connection with someone beyond something so tragic.  

After stuffing an entire Fudge-O cookie into his mouth, he looked up to see a young woman staring at him, holding her trenchcoat in her arms.  She was smiling to let him know she was friendly.  He was embarrassed because he knew she just saw him stuff an entire Fudge-O into his mouth.  “Hi,” he said, his mouth still full of cookie, the sound of his voice reflecting that fact.

“You’re Brock Boeser, right?” she asked sweetly.  “You play for the Vancouver Canucks?”

“Yeah,” Brock couldn’t help but smile.  He swallowed the rest of the cookie even though he didn’t really finish chewing it.  “That’s me.  Are you a fan?”

“My step-brothers are more so than I am,” she said.  “But I’m a fan of the team, yeah.  I’m Grace Gillespie,” she extended her hand to shake his.  “God, they’re not gonna believe me when I say I met you.  They’re gonna freak.”

Brock couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.  “Do you—I mean, do you want a picture?  I don’t mind at all.  I’ll sign an autograph on a napkin if you want me to.”

“Well…it’s a bit awkward to ask you at a Parkinson’s Society of BC meeting, but we could go to the Starbucks down the street and I could buy you a coffee.”

Brock was slightly taken aback at her forwardness.  He shouldn’t have been.  Girls came up to him all the time.  All the time.  And they were most definitely not shy.  But he wasn’t exactly expecting it to happen here, of all places.  A bar, sure.  Out with Petey or any of the other guys, absolutely.  But not here.  “Yeah…yeah sure,” he stuttered out.

“Then we should go,” Grace smiled.  She turned to look behind her.  Brock saw Esther picking up a few Oreos.  “Thank you for leading another great session, Esther,” Grace said.  

“Oh you are most welcome Miss Gillespie.  How is Hamish these days?  You didn’t speak much today.”

“He’s been doing fine lately.  His caregivers have been working around the clock for him.  They just work wonders, don’t they?”

Esther nodded.  “They are angels on Earth.  Anyways – we’ll catch up next week,” she said, leaning slightly on her leg to look beyond Grace and to Brock.  “I hope to see you here again next week, Brock.”

“Thank you, Esther.  See you next week,” he said, realizing he made the commitment before he could even realize what he was saying.

***

“I take that was your first meeting?” Grace asked as she set down the two lattes on the table against the window where Brock was waiting.  

“Was it really obvious?” Brock asked.

Grace shrugged her shoulders.  She didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious.  “It was the stuttering that gave it away, at least to me.  I know I stuttered a lot the first few times I came to these meetings.  I wasn’t the most comfortable talking about my dad’s condition to a room full of virtual strangers.  But within just a few months I realized the people in that room are the kindest, most empathetic, most amazing people that I’ve ever interacted with.  So I became a lot more open.”

Brock was transfixed by every word that Grace was saying.  “So you’ve been coming here a long time,” he said.

Grace nodded.  “My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was fourteen.  I didn’t start coming here until I was about eighteen, though.”

Brock knew he shouldn’t ask.  He knew he shouldn’t.  But his brain had ulterior motives, and his mouth – well, his mouth listened to his brain, because it apparently needed to know.  “Is your—is your dad like my dad?” he asked.  “Does he have, like, other problems complicating things?”

Grace shook her head.  “No,” she said softly.  “But the Parkinson’s is enough for him.  I mean he was diagnosed just short of ten years ago and he’s already on puréed foods.  It’s not—I mean, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t regularly develop that fast.  But that’s…I don’t know how you do it.”

Brock didn’t know either.  Some days he didn’t.  “I just take it day by day,” he said simply, just like he said in the meeting.  “If I think about it too much…that’s when it’s bad.”

“I hear ya,” Grace said, taking a sip of her coffee.  “But let’s…not talk about this for too long.  Do you like Vancouver?  Do you find it nice?”

Brock appreciated the change in topic.  “I love it here,” he nodded his head, smiling.  “The city’s great.  The fans are great.  My teammates – I mean they’re amazing.  What do you do?”

“I’m a dance teacher at Goh Ballet – little kids and teens, mostly.”

He wasn’t expecting that.  She was drop dead gorgeous, sure – Brock wasn’t blind – but he wasn’t expecting to hear she was a dancer.  “Do you, like, dance in the real ballet?”

Grace snorted slightly at his phrasing of ‘real ballet’.  “No.  I pursued it only up until a certain point.  I was good, but uh, I stopped when my dad got diagnosed.”

“Why?  Don’t they always tell people like us to have, like, an outlet or whatever?”

“They do.  But I loved my dad more than I loved dance.  And I would have rather spent the time that I was spending on dance with him instead.”

He understood where she was coming from, and he wasn’t there to judge her.  “And your brothers you mentioned, did they help too?”

“Oh no no no.  Sorry – I should have specified.  I’m an only child.  Like, the only child between my parents.  But they divorced when I was six and when my mom re-married I gained two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo.”

“How was the divorce?” Brock found himself asking.

“You ever see footage of a nuclear bomb exploding?” Grace giggled as she asked the question.  It caused Brock to laugh too even though the analogy she was making was dreadful.  “It was awful.  The type of divorce nobody deserves, you know?  I became a pawn, basically, and my parents would only speak to each other through lawyers.  Even stuff concerning me.  It was bad.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It was.  But it’s the only life I know,” she said.  “He was lucky my mom ended up marrying another rich guy.  I mean, my mom only marries rich men,” she giggled slightly again.  “That’s how Jasper and Theo became my step-brothers.”

“So your family has money?” Brock clarified.  “What’s it from?  Dad a lawyer or something?”

“Not exactly,” Grace said.  “My dad and his brothers own a private equity firm that started like this,” she pinched her fingers together, “and went like…” she continued, spreading her fingers and moving her hands around her like a bomb explosion.  “Gillespie Brothers Investments.  I’m sure as a Vancouver Canuck you’ve heard of them.  I mean they wanted to buy the Canucks before the Aquilinis.”

Brock hadn’t heard of them, but he now knew he’d have to do some snooping when he got home. “I haven’t heard of them.  But I mean – sounds like they were successful.”

“Three billion dollars is pretty successful to me,” Grace quipped.

“B—Billion,” Brock sputtered out.  “With a B.”

“With a B,” Grace nodded.  Brock had no idea he was sitting across from the daughter of a billionaire.  She didn’t act like a billionaire.  Not like Brock knew what billionaires acted like.  He’d never met one before in his life.  Well, besides Francesco.  “But tell me more about what you like about Vancouver.  What about the nature?  I always kind of fine a good long walk along the Seawall or through Stanley Park really clears my mind from all…this.  What about you?”

Brock smiled.  “I find the white noise of downtown clears my mind.”

***

“You want my number,” Grace said as a statement rather than a question as she and Brock exited the Starbucks.  They were kicked out.  They’d been there for so long that they’d been kicked out because they were closing.  Their coffees had gotten cold.  They hadn’t ordered new ones.  And now they found themselves on the deserted sidewalk, jackets put on hastily, and Grace came up with that.

Brock looked down at her.  They’d been able to look into each other’s soul for the past few hours.  “Of course I want your number,” he said.  There was no reason to hide it.  No reason to deny it.  No reason to have to wait until next week to see her again as they sat around in a circle in a community centre talking about their parents.

He took out his phone.  She gave him her number.  He texted his name to hers so she’d have his.  When that dance was done, she looked up at him.  “I’m really glad I met you tonight,” she said, her voice sincere.

Brock nodded.  “I’m glad I met you too.  I—I really enjoyed this.  And I mean—I needed it.”

Grace smiled, nodding her head.  “I needed it too.”

“D’you—” Brock stopped, trying not to get too far ahead of himself.  “D’you need a ride home?”

“Oh no no, my driver is right there,” she motioned her head towards a black Mercedes waiting by the curb.

Brock hadn’t noticed the car until now.  “Chauffeur?”

“Billionaire dad,” she winked.  Brock understood.  She took a few steps back before smiling one more time.  “Call me,” she said, before flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking towards the Mercedes and getting into the backseat.  Brock watched as it drove off, making a right at the end of the street.

He would definitely be calling.

Survey #246

(song lyrics here idc)

What is the most you’ve ever eaten in one sitting? I don't know. Probably too many slices of pizza back when I could kill pizza if I was hungry enough. How often do you skip breakfast? Rarely. What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? A couple+ weeks, probably. Where are you going the next time you go out? School. What kinds of things are likely to make you cry? Reunions of like any type, seeing things (esp. animals) in pain, if my feelings are deeply hurt, deaths... stuff like that. Really nothing unusual. What are some things that make others cry that don’t make you cry at all? Hm. I dunno. I'm sure there's something, but I'm unsure. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I'll ever only have like a drink or two on some holidays or for my birthday. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube because it essentially replaces television for me. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? Oh my god don't ask me this. What is one belief you used to have, but no longer do? In what ways are you influenced by the opinions of others, if ever? The one I disdain the most was being homophobic up to my late teenage years. I wanna curb stomp that ignorant fucking kid. I wouldn't say I'm influenced by other's opinions on things very much. What was the last thing to make you feel good about yourself? Drinking water lmao. How would you describe your overall (or preferred) personal aesthetic? My friend recently described me as a "gothic lolita" and y'know he's onta something. What kinds of small judgments are you likely to make about others? *Small* judgments? Uhhhh... God why am I blanking on surveys so much lately. What was the last thing you did mostly because society expected you to? Shower, 'cuz I seriously wasn't feeling it but needed to anyway. When was the last time you felt out of place? I had to babysit my nephew on my own early last month and I felt like I was in a different universe. I felt so, so unfit in the position and just all-around uncomfortable. I love that boy to death but babysitting is noooooot my thing. Do you believe in aliens, spirits, or angels of any sort? Yeah. Well, not "angels" by true definition, no. In what ways are you superstitious? I'm not. Where was the last place you went walking and how far? Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? Like, for fun? Not since I was at Sara's. I DO NOT like exercising in front of other people at all. What kinds of nail polish colors do you prefer to wear? How about makeup? Black is the entirely superior makeup color. How would you describe your own relationship with makeup? It's just for fun for me when I actually feel like it, and even that's rare. I usually only put makeup on for some pictures. Who has been in your life the longest amount of time? What about the shortest? My mom the longest, and my school teachers the shortest, I guess? Who was the last person to leave your life? How about return to it? My fucking therapist that deserves my fist through her face. Return, uhhhh yeah I dunno. It might be Sara, and that was yearsss ago. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Wildernesses, especially with mountains, rivers, waterfalls... that kind of stuff. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? No. Focus on the goddamn planet we're already on. If it was a life or death situation, I'd go, but otherwise, I'm staying here and at least trying to patch it up. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? Oh, many miles, I'm sure. I used to walk for literally hours out in my yard at night with my iPod. That was so common for me. Funny how now I'm recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Do you have a chore/housecleaning routine or anything like that? A "routine," no. How organized would you say your living space is? The house is currently a travesty. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Success in school. Do you find it easier to forgive yourself or others? Others. Have you ever had to call 911? For who/what reason? Yes; Mom thought she might've been having a heart attack. Thank fuck she wasn't. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Oh yeah. It's like a regular for me now that I'm big time trying to lose weight. I like the apple cinnamon one. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? Thinking about that walking question. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? The most non-Pagan belief I have is being void of this one. No. When was the last time you were afraid to tell someone something? Heh, speaking of being (mostly, ig) Neo-Pagan. Classmate and I were doing an assignment getting to know each other and she asked my religion. She was a serious Christian and was clearly SO uncomfortable when I awkwardly answered lmao. When was the last time something didn’t go the way you expected it would? My disability case hearing just a week back. I expected to be way, way more terrified, shaking even, and was prepared for an intimidating judge. Just in general I was afraid of it being "court-like" and with a lot of people, but it was okay. I think having my attorney there was crucial to my (relative) calmness, though, because I was comfortable with and liked him. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? Most difficult that I ever tried, Dark Souls. Quit that waaaay early. Hardest that I've beaten, I honestly think The Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night. Don't even @ me w/o trying it yourself 'cuz that game was so fucking hard to where I rage-quit for years until beating it. I did play it a second time for fun, though. Still hard. Most involved, oh, easily World of Warcraft. Years of effort put into too many characters la;ksdjfawoei Have you ever taken lessons for anything? Yeah; dance for a very long time as well as guitar. What’s your favorite band’s name? Well Ozzy goes solo. Btw I nearly died when I heard the Parkinson's news wtf life how dare why him- Who is your last sent text to? My mom. What’s your favorite flavor of Gatorade? I do noooot like Gatorade. What does your bikini look like? Oh hunny I'm barely comfortable in a one-piece. Do you drink the milk after you finish cereal or just leave it in the bowl? I can almost never drink it. The taste is just changed and is usually gross. Have you ever worn glitter eyeliner? No, yikes. Imagine that getting in your eye. Has anyone ever called you a hippie? I don't think so. Did you have any unread texts this morning? No. Have you ever been involved in strength training? No. Who is the last person you kissed? Sara. Have you ever been to a pottery painting store? No. Are bonfires common with you and your friends? Not at all. I don't think I've ever done that with friends. If you’re really quiet, what is probably the reason? I'm thinking about something intently. What does your boyfriend/girlfriend call you? N/A How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? A whole lot. Do you use lotion? If my skin is particularly dry. Have you ever used a sewing machine? No. Is hairspray a staple in your morning routine? I've never regularly used it. Do you believe in teenage love? Fuck yes I do, I can promise you that. When is your favorite TV show on regularly? It's discontinued. Who is your favorite person to waste time with? Sara. What has been the most significant thing to happen to you this year? Well, it's the first day of February, so I'll imagine you're asking about the past year, in which case I went back to school. What kind of kid were you when you were seven? Happy, weird, kinda hyper, outgoing and goofy. Do you always eat those mints you get at some restaurants? Yeah, if they're not the semi-soft ones that kinda melt in your mouth. Ew. Is there a subject you know so much about that you’d be able to teach it? Sure, but nothing like seriously important. Do you believe that being ‘cultured’ is important? Why or why not? I mean, probably if you travel. It's definitely wise to try to act at least semi-"appropriately" in another country. Where did you purchase the computer you’re using right now? Best Buy or Office Depot, idr. Do you think it’s fair to compare Family Guy to The Simpsons? I don't care? Will you miss CDs if they end up going obsolete? Why or why not? Not really, I just don't care. If you could relive one hour of your life so far, what would you choose? I don't have a clue. Do you think animals have a sense of humor? Probably. Animals can definitely act silly. Are you proud of your hometown, or do you try to distance yourself from it? That place is shit. Has your idea of the perfect romantic partner changed with age? Oh yeah, to a degree at least. I had such a fairy-tale ideology on love back then. How many cars have you ever owned? Myself, zero. Can you do math in your head well? I almost can't at all. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? Oh man, that's hard. Maybe salt and vinegar. Do you ever read the weather forecast? I mean I'll check the app on my phone occasionally. Do amusement park rides make you sick? Thus far in my life, no, but I'm too afraid to try some out of fear of that. Who is your favorite Star Wars character? Don't even like SW. What kind of cheese do you put on your sandwiches? American. What radio station do you listen to the most? None. Who was the last person to give you a gift? A family friend for Christmas. How old were you when you got your driver’s license? I'm about to be 24 and still don't have it. What was the first thing you ever learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. Did you ever collect beanie babies? Maybe? I know I had one big one (me and my sisters had a matching set of different colors; mine was pink, what a shocker), but idk if I actually collected them. When was the last time you got a haircut? Early last month. Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party? No. How many people can you say you TRULY love? Romantically? Two. Platonically, a whole lot. Where are you most ticklish on your body? My feet jfc. Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail? Nope. What’s the last board game you played? Shit, what's it called. Something with my nephew. It's the one with the popping dice in the middle and four different colors to move around the board. "Sorry!" or something? Have you ever given someone a fake phone number? Might've when stupid kid me made prank calls. Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? No. Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants? I've never been the one paying. Do you still own any VHS tapes? I'm sure Mom has home videos stored somewhere. If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it? Oh fuck yeah 'cuz I'm dumb and love dinos. Have you ever gone golfing? Not legit golfing. Do you know any sign language? No. How many friends do you have that are married? Close friends, like people I still regularly talk to, none. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? Yes. Did you have a swing set in your yard when you were a child? Yes. Do you eat your mac & cheese with a fork or a spoon? I don't really care so I haven't noticed which I usually use. Where did you have your first kiss? His bed. When you were a kid, were you ever afraid of cooties? Lol no. Do you ever go Christmas caroling in December? No, I could never omg. Which overrated tattoo are you sick of seeing? I don’t care. Get what you want. What was the last thing you taught a younger kid? Apparently to say "aw shucks" at everything lmao. Are the clocks in your house mostly digital or analog? Digital. We have on analog in the living room. How long have you had your television(s)? God, years. A loooong time, but it's a fine TV. Do you like watching movies made with CGI or do you prefer hand-drawn ones? I tend to enjoy CGI more. I like realism in what I watch. Where did your parents buy their car(s)? Dad, idk. Mom got hers for free; a dance friend ran into a deer, so the front bumper got fucked up, and she wanted a new vehicle. Mom took it because shit, it was drivable, and she DIY fixed up the bumper to make sure it stays in place. Literally with zip ties and duct tape lmfao but HEY it WORKS. Do you know why your grandparents chose your mother’s name? No. Do you think you’d do well at teaching the English language to a foreigner? I think I'd be at least decent. What is a store you like that is exclusive to your country? Idk what's only exclusive to the country. If you attend school, what time do you usually get home after? Like, 4:35 or so. Mom finishes her field work at 4, and afterwards we go home. Have you written a resume before, either for yourself or someone else? Yes. What is your favorite thing about snow? IT'S PRETTY. What do you usually do when you have trouble sleeping? Try to go back to sleep at first, and if I really can't, I get back up on the laptop for a while. Are you satisfied with your social life (or lack thereof)? NONONONONONONONO. What TV show do you just assume you wouldn’t like? 13 Reasons Why. Do your friends have more money than you? lol duh I make none. Who always has the power to make you feel intimidated? Pretty much men as a whole...

Um so yeah.

I got a new chromebook which is legit one of the best investments I’ve made in quite a while. One problem, I don’t remember my newer tumblr password and email I had set up for my happy new account. So I am stuck here with an older tumblr I made years upon years ago. I was browsing through some of the archive posts and ugh was I whiny little pain in the butt complaining about such stupid things. Anyways! I thought it might be kinda fun perhaps to do a survey that I did in 2013, yes 2013 oh my that seems ages ago. My plan is to have my original answer on top followed by the 2019 answer below it. Because why not? Here we go!

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? The closet must be closed! Still closed please.

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Sometimes. Not as often as I used, because I honestly don’t ever use it. lol

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out? In because that’s how Dan likes it. 

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No. Nope. 

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? Sometimes. Sure, I leave Dan random notes in the morning if I wake up first. 

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I get coupons but sometimes I don't use them. Haha my above answer tells me two things I wasn’t worried about money in 2013 and I didn’t probably understand the question. So yeah, sometimes that will happen when they expire before I get the chance to use them.

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Neither sound great so I guess a big bear sounds more interesting. I’ll agree with my 2013 answer. 

8: Do you have freckles? I have some. Last I checked I am the same girl, so I have some. 

9: Do you always smile for pictures? Usually. Sure, unless I am being told otherwise. 

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I have two major ones, people snapping gum and not messaging someone back. Snapping gum is still up there and people slurping soup obnoxiously. 

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not really. Um not physically, but my phone does. Thanks Google Fit!

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Nope. Still no.

13: What about pooped in the woods? Again nope. Still no lol.

14: Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Yeah. Of course!

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Not usually, but sometimes I'll chew on a pen. Still sometimes I will chew a pen. 

16: How many people have you slept with this week? Zero. One.

17: What size is your bed? Queen. Queen, but now I share it with Dan. 

18: What is your Song of the week? Runaway- iio. Goodness I have no idea. 

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yeah.  Since when are certain colors unacceptable for certain people? I like that answer. Good job 2013 Christina. :)

20: Do you still watch cartoons? I don’t really watch a lot of TV. Nope. 

21: Whats your least favorite movie? I am not really big on the Hunger Games. Still accurate or scary movies would be an accurate answer. 

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Wait…why would I want to bury hidden treasure. Dan’s safe?

23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 34 B 32-34 B depends on the bra. lol

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Plain or honey mustard. I like those previous answers, but I do sometimes like BBQ. 

25: What is your favorite food? Some type of chicken with a bread coating. Chicken and dumplings from Cracker Barrel with carrots and green beans! 

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Love and Other Drugs, Crazy Stupid Love, Easy A, Something Borrowed. So chick flicks I guess. Crazy Stupid Love is still in my top favorite movies ever. 

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Jeffrey. Eww I am sorry 2013 Christina that sucks. Anyways, Dan!

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was girl scout back in the day. Still a true statement. 

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Eh I don't know. I am no model, so no.  30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? On paper?  A while ago. I write Dan little notes in the mornings sometimes. Does that count? 31: Can you change the oil on a car? Nope. Still nope.  32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Surprisingly no. Warning, yes. lol 33: Ever ran out of gas? Close, but no. Nope!

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey and swiss with spinach toasted.  Grilled cheese!

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? French Toast or Waffles. French Toast sounds lovely. 

36: What is your usual bedtime? Unpredictable. Still accurate, but now it depends on if Dan is around or not.  37: Are you lazy? More than some would think. I can be.  38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I don’t even know. Probably a princess.  39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? I believe I am a sheep. Correct.  40: Are you horny? No. Not really.  41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No. Yep, Cosmo. And it’s annoying they send out the following month way too early all the time.  42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? I could care less. Still true. 

43: Are you stubborn? I some ways. Kinda.  44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Letterman. Still true hence why Letterman is still on the air? 45: Ever watch soap operas? Sometimes Spanish ones with Rach and her roommates. Nope. 46: Are you afraid of heights? Not as much. What kinda of answer was that back then? lol. Anyways, no height fear really.    47: Do you sing in the car? All the time. Duh, gotta keep it fun.  48: Do you sing in the shower? Not really. I hum though. Still true.  49: Do you dance in the car? Yeah. That’s probably not safe… Hahaha still guilty of that.  50: Ever used a gun? Nope, I want to do it sometime though just to say I shot a gun. Hahaha 2013 would never have thought I’d say I am pretty fucking accurate with an AR-15.  51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Does summer count? Jen took my picture. Christmas of 2015 lol. 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some can be. Usually.  53: Is Christmas stressful? Not really, but this year I’ll be working the holiday season so we shall reassess. Nope. I love Christmas.  54: Ever eat a pierogi? Had to look that up.  Yes, I have I think my friend Elly introduced me to them. Yeah, not my type of thing.  55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry or Dutch Apple.  56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher. I don’t know anymore and I am 27. Oops.  57: Do you believe in ghosts? Eh debatable. Sure. 58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Many times. I had one just the other day. Yeah I had one the other day. Wait that’s funny that was my reply before.  59: Take a vitamin daily? I take multivitamins. I still do, but currently out. lol 60: Wear slippers? Nah. Barefoot is preferred.  61: Wear a bath robe? Rarely. Unless I am super cold. Nah. 62: What do you wear to bed? Yoga pants and a t-shirt. T-shirt and panties. lol 63: First concert? Paramore. Still true. 

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target, but Wal-Mart is closer. Target.  65: Nike or Adidas? I don’t care. Under Amour? 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Eh…neither. Haha still good answer.  67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds since I can’t do peanuts. Neither. 

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No? What? 69: Ever take dance lessons? I did a few times. Did I? Hmm sure okay. I did in the past.  70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Lawyer. Business owner.

71: Can you curl your tongue? Yes. Yep! 72: Ever won a spelling bee? Never participated. Nope I am not very good at spelling complicated stuff.  73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? It has happened on occasion. Sure. 74: Own any record albums? No. Nope. 75: Own a record player? No. Nope. 76: Regularly burn incense? No. Nope. 77: Ever been in love? Yes. Yes.  78: Who would you like to see in concert? Matchbox Twenty, Google Dolls, Drake, Justin Timberlake, The Weekend, Linkin Park, The XX, and many more. I know weird mix there. Drake? 79: What was the last concert you saw? Grad night, Paramore. Same.  80: Hot tea or cold tea? I prefer cold tea. Ice tea!  81: Tea or coffee? Coffee, but I do like tea on occasion. Coffee 99% of the time.  82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Yummy both please. Don’t make chose.  83: Can you swim well? Eh debatable. I’ve gotten better. lol 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes. Yes.  85: Are you patient? Most of the time. 50-50 depends on what.  86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Either would be fine, but a live band would be awesome. DJ, Cheaper, duh lol. 87: Ever won a contest? A few times. Yep! 88: Ever have plastic surgery? I am 22 so no. Nah, I am good.  89: Which are better black or green olives? Eww no thanks. *pukes* No no no. 90: Can you knit or crochet? My mom tried teaching me how to crochet. Still wanting to learn one day either one.  91: Best room for a fireplace? A living room? Still going to go with living room.  92: Do you want to get married? I don’t know anymore, I hope so. I do, lol. 93: If married, how long have you been married? (Not applicable) Same lol 94: Who was your HS crush? Mark fucking Andrew. Ugh that’s still true. But here’s a plot twist though he married someone I know and I see his picture on FB all the time because she posts pictures of them. I am not phased anymore. So victory? For me at least. 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No. But I have though before though. Haha apparently.  96: Do you have kids? No. Nope.  97: Do you want kids? I would be ok not having kids for a while. No thanks. 98: Whats your favorite color? Purple! Purple!!! 99: Do you miss anyone right now? Yeah extremely. Yes. 

100. What do you hear right now? My Drake station on Pandora playing a Lil Wayne song. No Limit- G Easy ft Cardi B and A$AP Rocky

Safe Inside

Hi, and welcome to my new imagines blog! This is my very first imagine on here, so I decided to start of with something a little deeper, but not all of them will be like this, I promise! Feel free to request and enjoy!

-H

Pairing: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader

Words: 1,848

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, very sad (I actually cried while writing this) mentions of death

Song: Safe Inside by James Arthur

I remember when you were all mine Watched you changing in front of my eyes What can I say?

The day you were born was the best day of Tony’s life. You were his little girl, all he had, and after your mother abandoned the two of you, he was all you had, too.

To him, you were perfect. The way your (y/e/c) eyes twinkled when you laughed made his heart melt completely. You were his everything.

As a child, you were barely ever separate from your father. You held onto him like your life depended on it, but he didn't mind, because to him, his life did.

To say you were spoiled as a child is an  understatement. Tony always kept you up-to-date with the newest and best toys and bought you whatever you wanted.

He wished that you could stay a child forever, a time where you would always be dependant on him and would never think about leaving him.

Unfortunately, you had to grow up at some point.

Now that I'm not the fire in the cold Now that I'm not the hand that you hold As you're walking away.

When you reached your teens, you grew more independent. You began to spend more time with your friends and less with your father. Your attitude changed drastically from being so bubbly to growing more mature.

Maturity and spending time with your friends wasn’t what scared Tony. It was when you began to look at boys in ways more than friendly.

The first boy you ever had a crush on was named Carl. You were head-over-heels for him, and everyone knew that.

As a fourteen-year-old girl, you were very naïve.

In your eyes, Carl was perfect. The way his light hair was well styled to the way he laughed made your heart flutter. He was so kind to you. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear.

You knew Carl for three months before he asked you to be his girlfriend. You, obviously a bit starstruck, jumped at the chance and agreed.

The night of your first date, you dressed yourself up as nice as you could for when Carl came to pick you up.

Tony didn't want you to go, but he didn't tell you that. He had a bad feeling about that night, and he was right to.

Carl wasn't only your first boyfriend, he was also your first heartbreak.

Will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.                        

If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.

Will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.

Tony didn't get much sleep that night.

“I want you home by eleven, no later,” he’d told you before you left.

“Okay, dad,” you rolled your eyes, “I will be.”

But there he sat, on the couch at one-thirty in the morning with Pepper, waiting for you.

“Where is she?” He’d asked multiple times.

Finally, at five minutes ‘til two, you wandered through the door.

You closed the door quietly, as if trying not to wake anyone up, and jumped when your father’s voice pierced your ears.

“Where have you been?” His voice was sharp. “You’re almost three hours past curfew!”

He turned to face him, but didn't meet his gaze. Tony immediately regretted being so strict upon your arrival.

Your cheeks were red and tears stained as salty drops leaked from your glossy eyes.

“I’m s-sorry,” you stammered, fighting to contain your sobs.

“Oh, sweetie,” Pepper consoled, “what happened?”

Tony wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and guiding you to the couch.

You leaned against him as you curled up on the couch, finally letting yourself break down. Pepper slowly rubbed her hand up and down your back.

“(Y/n), what happened?” Pepper asked again.

You sniffled, “Well, h-his brother drove us to the movies. We were alone, and he was being nice all night, but then he tried to get me to do-” you paused, “stuff with him.”

Pepper and Tony shared a glance.

“Why were you so late?” Tony ran his fingers through your hair comfortingly.

“H-he said that if I wouldn't do stuff with him than he didn't want to date me, then he left,” You explained.

“How did you get home?” Pepper questioned.

You looked down at your newly-dirtied shoes, “I walked.”

Tony looked at you, “(Y/n), that's more than five miles, why didn't you call? We were worried sick!”

You began to cry again, “I-I thought that y-you would be asleep so I didn't want to b-bother you.”

Your father smiled sadly at you, “(Y/n), you know that I wouldn’t- no, I couldn't sleep until I know you are okay.”

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth.

After that, you went through a bit of a dark patch.

You pushed some of your friends away and your relationship with Tony became tense.

Tony could tell there was something wrong. You barely went out, your grades were dropping, and he'd even gotten calls from your teachers about you skipping class.

It didn't take him long to figure out what was going on.

Not only were you heartbroken, you were bullied.

All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life.

Tony sat you down after finding out. The talk he gave you was awkward, and as much as you tried to convince him that he was wrong, you knew your words were lies.

“(Y/n), I need you to tell me how you're feeling so I can help you,” Tony begged you.

You looked up at him with dark eyes.

“Have you ever thoughts about what it would be like without me?” You asked him.

He was taken aback, “(Y/n), where is this coming from?”

“That's what the kids at school say, that it would be better without me.”

“Has anyone ever hurt you?”

“No,” you paused, “but I’ve thought about hurting myself.”

He was shocked, he couldn't believe that life had gotten this bad for you.

“Have you ever thought about-” he gulped, “killing yourself?”

You looked down and didn't answer, but Tony could tell from your silence.

“Oh, honey,” he pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you began to cry.

“You don't ever have to think like that ever again,” he told you, “What do we have to do to make it better?”

You looked him in the eye and smiled.

“Well, a fresh start would be nice.”

You never returned to that school. You took a week off before transferring to a new school in a different part of the city.

On your fifteenth birthday, Tony finally began to notice a difference in you when you requested to spend the day with him, which he gladly agreed to.

He could tell you were better. You made new friends and began going out more again.

As long as you were happy, he was happy, but he was rather surprised when you arrived home one day holding hands with a boy, who you claimed was your boyfriend.

His name was Peter.

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.

If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.

Tony hadn't expected it to last, but he was wrong, and was quite glad.

Although he didn't like how Peter dragged you further into danger, he could see how much you loved each other. Especially that day when he walked you down the aisle to meet him in that beautiful white gown you wore.

The ceremony was beautiful, but it wasn't quite until you skipped down the aisle as a married woman that he realized that you were no longer his little girl. He had handed you off to another and you would be gone off with the rest of your life.

When the father-daughter dance came around, he found himself barely containing himself as you held onto him.

The song began, and he found himself finally breaking down. He dropped his head onto your shoulder as he sobbed and you rubbed his back and swayed to the song.

The sight brought tears to everyone’s eyes as they watched the bride and her father hold each other and cry in the middle of the floor.

This was the best day of your life, and the worst of his.

If you make the same mistakes, I will love you either way All I know is I can't live without you There is nothing I can say that will change you anyway Darling, I could never live without you I can't live, I can't live, no, no.

You and Peter had three children, two boys and a girl. You named them Ben, Howard, and Maev.

These days were all great for Tony, but none of them stood out to him like the day you were born.

Tony saw his grandchildren lots as you visited regularly and called everyday that you didn't.

You found yourself visiting more and more as Tony’s hair grew white. He was tired, you could tell. Your father was old.

Tony spent his last few days with your family in the city.

That day was good for Tony. He spent his day sitting on the porch with you as you watched Peter play soccer on the lawn with your children. He went in his sleep, but the last thing that went through his head were your last words to him.

“Goodnight, Dad, I love you,” you’d told him as you tucked him into his bed and kissed his cheek.

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't make my mistakes, I won't sleep, I won't sleep.

If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside.

Tony’s funeral was held on a sunny Thursday afternoon.

The church was packed, your family, some old friends of his, those who were left of the Avengers, and some fans of his.

Tony lived many good days, but none of them stood out to him like the day you were born, and none of them stood out to you like the day he died.

Will you call me to tell me you're alright 'Cause I worry about you.

515

What would you say is the worst part of high school, period? The fact that it was small made 1) the news, as well as rumors, quick to float around, and 2) the favorite students stay the favorites. It was easy to lose motivation in being a good student because the teachers already had their go-to picks designated from day one, so I didn’t care at all what I did or how I behaved throughout high school.

What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I don’t eat apples.

How old will you be on your mother’s 68th birthday? Is that ‘old’ to you? I’d be 41. It’s a little old, considering I’m half that age at the moment.

Ever thought you were dying of something you weren’t even close to having? I don’t think so. I try not to stress over diagnoses I get from Google lol.

Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? Med school is starting to look interesting for me because I really enjoy biology and have no problem with memorizing stuff. Then again, it’s too late to pursue that track considering where I’m headed now, and I HATE chemistry so I doubt I’d be all that successful in med school anyway.

What do you think of all these reality shows that try to alter personality? Are you talking about like how for example Gordon Ramsay makes it a point to be more pissed off in US versions of his shows because American reality shows are supposed to be more dramatic than others? Haha as long as I’m enjoying the show, I don’t mind it. Gordon’s a treat to watch regardless if I watch the US or UK version of, say, Kitchen Nightmares.

Where are your favorite pair of shoes in the whole world right now? They are in the shoe closet by the living room, where all my other shoes are.

Do you live anywhere near a mall? Which one exactly? Yeah there are like six malls near where I live that I can name for you right now. The nearest one is SM Masinag, which is like 2 minutes away from my village. Malls is the favorite pastime of Filipinos, which explains why we have so many of them and in close proximity to one another.

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? Probably my family. I imagine I’ll be saying the last goodbyes to my friends and best friends.

Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? I love kids and would have no problems taking care of them. I’ve never had to change diapers though so I’d need a lot of help there.

Do you ever have those ‘ah ha!’ moments? Do those annoy you? It can be annoying if what I had just pieced together isn’t necessarily good news. But sometimes ‘aha!’ moments can be a thrill too.

When is the next time you’ll eat a cupcake, if you know when? I don’t have a clue; not a lot of places sell cupcakes anymore.

Does your family go on a lot of vacations? Are they more boring or exciting? My family goes on a lot but only when my dad is home, cos we want to go out only when we’re complete. They’re never boring because my dad knows how to fill up his iteneraries.

Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? It’s been a while since I bought myself socks. The last pairs I got were gifts; one pair has a cat design and another has a dog design. :3

Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? Only before. I don’t do this anymore mostly because I don’t really have the time.

When do you normally go to sleep on the weekends? Depends how tired I am, but it’s never earlier than 10.

Have you ever met someone with the same ‘biggest fear’ as you? I haven’t known anyone whose as afraid of cockroaches as I am.

Do you ever have movie nights with your significant other? Not really. I like dinners more than movies, and we have very different tastes in films so it’s hard to stick with one we both want to watch.

Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pens. I haven’t regularly written with pencils in a while so it always feels weird when I have to do it.

Who was the last person to call you fat, if anyone at all? Gabie, but she did it fondly. She likes to rub it in my face that our relationship has made me put on a little weight after being skinny for many years, which I don’t mind.

What color skin does the last person you danced with have? Brown.

Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at night time? Yes, which is why I drive everywhere, whatever the time of day. I get made fun of for doing it, but at least I’m the one who ends up safe 100% of the time.

Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? She didn’t call the school and I wouldn’t have wanted her to because I wouldn’t blame my school or my teachers either. She did ground me when I started failing like five algebra exams in a row, as deserved.

The best field trip you’ve ever been on; where was it to anyway? I loved the trip to Ayala Museum and Mind Museum, but I would have enjoyed it more if I went with only my friends. My class was embarrassingly rowdy. I remember Gabie and I just completely separating from our group because apparently not one of them knew how to act in a museum. Everyone kept running around and a couple of times alarms rang because my classmates kept touching the exhibits. I cringe just remembering it.

In the next twenty minutes, what will you be doing and where will you be? I will still be in Starbucks, probably drowning myself in surveys while drinking my iced coffee and eating my Monte Cristo. My parents are at Lea Salonga’s show tonight and I asked if I can tag along so that I can kill time at the nearby Starbucks.

Do you work? If so, have you ever been fired, then rehired from the place? I don’t work yet.

Can you tell when people are lying or telling the truth? Not always. Some people are great at lying.

What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard? Not sure...but I can type very fast when i have to.

What is your least favorite class in school? Why is this? Chemistry can go fuck itself. Nothing made sense to me and no amount of images or drawings or other visualizations made me grasp the subject. I barely passed high school chem and only got a 1.75 in my basic chem class in college hahaha so I’m clearly not meant for it.

Do you bite your fingernails or tap them on desks? I tend to do both, but only when I’m anxious.

Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I didn’t actively want to be in a *band* but I did have a phase where I wanted to drop everything and learn how to play the drums.

Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. We’re close, but we don’t have that habit.

When did you last spend the night at someone’s house? June or July, I think. I was just supposed to take a nap in Gabie’s room but ended up sleeping the whole night.

Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No, all of them have been very nice and welcoming.

Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? No, omg idk about other cultures but that would be really embarrassing here.

When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? When I have to return the book I borrowed, which is like two weeks from today.

Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it? I don’t even know how to hold the stick.

Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? Noooooo, I hate fighting and cry easily when I’m confronted.

Small Lies That Escalated Into “This Is My Life Now”

• Found out a coworker was from the same city I grew up in. He asked what my "old man's" last name was. Being an unmarried woman, I assumed he was asking about my father to determine if he knew my family back home. Apparently he was asking about my non existent husband, so until he quit I carried on the facade that I had a husband from back home.

• My mom gave my sister a chocolate orange about 15 years ago and she kind of embarrassed the family by saying it was gross. I didn't want to make my parents feel bad so I said that I'd eat it. It was gross but I pretended to like it. Now every year for Christmas I get a chocolate orange.

• Pretended to be a girl on World of Warcraft for a solid two years. I didn't actually set out to do it, just never corrected anyone when they assumed I was and by the time I thought to come clean it seemed too awkward.

• I convinced pretty much everyone in my life that I was allergic to coconut at a young age. I simply just didn't like it at all and it was a good way to avoid eating it (logic of a pre-teen mind). My mom played along. It wasn't until about 3 years ago when my mother in law had a surprise birthday party for her husband and she made a german chocolate cake. The kicker here: she did HALF of it coconut and half without so I could enjoy the cake and not have an allergic reaction to it. I broke down. Laughed. Told them it wasn't true and I actually am not allergic. Her face melted. I hadn't realized how long I had kept up the lie until that very moment.

• When I was 12 years old, I lied about my age and made myself older for about 3 years, so I could still be somewhat cool in WoW. Now some of my WoW friends settled over with me to other games, and whenever I meet someone new, they're likely connected to them. At this point it's too awkward to explain that I'm not the oldest, but in fact the youngest in our friendgroup.

• Told one guy i was canadian bc they asked why i apologized so much. That was in 1st grade, im now a junior in highschool and people are shocked when they find out im not canadian

• I dated a guy who's father was a minister. I liked this guy a lot. I knew their church was one of those loud, dancing talking in tongues churches and his parents asked me to come to church with them. The dad did this whole long ass sermon about premarital sex and being saved. The guy I was dating kept nudging me and his family kept smirking so when they asked who felt the Holy Spirit and wanted to be saved I walked up to the front, everyone was jumping around and people were getting popped in the forehead and going into convulsions on the floor. I pretended to feel it. They smacked my forehead, I fell back, I just laid there with a few other people on the floor with my eyes closed wondering if I should twitch or something. Afterwards everyone was hugging me and his parents were crying.....

• I was working at a small company about 10 years ago, around the holidays. It was approaching Thanksgiving, and the ladies in my department had organized a pot luck luncheon. I was adding my contribution to the sign-up sheet when I noticed that one particular co-worker had signed up to bring brownies. She was a nice, single, older woman who had many pets at home (2-3 cats and as many dogs) and was regularly covered in a layer of pet fur. The day of the party had arrived, and everyone was going around filling their plates. There they were on the dessert table - the brownies. I didn't want to eat any of them, but I also didn't want to be impolite - so I told her I couldn't have any because I was allergic to nuts. Fast forward 9 years, and I am out with a friend (who had also been a co-worker at this company) I had kept since that job. After a few drinks, I tell her, tearfully, that I have a confession to make - I'm not really allergic to nuts. She burst out laughing, thinking it was going to be something much more serious than that. She is the only person I have made this confession to.

• A dude I knew was giving this girl some shit and she kicked him in the nuts. Ok, extreme reaction, but such is life. He doubled over in pain, but since he was kind of a douche anyway, no one cared much. The next day (a Friday) his dad took him out of school for some reason. Then when he returned on Monday he learned that the big rumor was that his balls ruptured from the kick, and he had to get emergency surgery. Rather than correcting anyone, he went along with it. This went on for years. People made fun of him, and he just joked about it. There were idiotic songs people sung about him. He laughed about it. Never denied it once, in fact participated in some of the joking at times. Finally, one day about 3 years later he comes clean. She didn't even actually kick him in the balls, just in the gut and it really knocked the wind out of him. After all this time, the dude who got kicked in the balls was basically his identity. Strange turn of events.

• When I was 16, I humored some Mormon missionaries to make my best friend and his family happy (they were Mormon). So after a few home "lessons" about the LDS church I had already showed a lot of fake support and interest. Being awkward, I didn't want to admit to not being interested. When they asked if I wanted to be baptised weeks later, I said yes, imagining I'd eventually back out. I didn't. Became an athiest Mormon. After months of living this double life, attending church, etc, my mom decided to show support by becoming Mormon. I was mortified. My recovering Catholic dad pulls me aside and asks me if I really believe this stuff. I explained everything to him and he thought it was hilarious. I also made him promise not to tell Mom because, again, awkward and too far deep. She asked me to baptise her and I refused. This insulted her. Fast forward a year or so and I distanced myself from church people while still maintaining the close relationship with my friend and his family. It's been 12 years now, and we still hang out weekly and nobody considers me Mormon. I never explained this to him.

• The second or third week of college my freshman year I stumbled into a room where a newly acquired friend and his roommate were playing kingdom hearts. We briefly talked about how much they loved the game, etc. Eventually, I fall asleep on their futon from general college induced exhaustion. An indeterminable amount of time later, I wake up to them quietly talking about what to do with the person napping on the couch. Not wanting to be rude, I tell them "Oh sorry - I wasn't really napping" They call me out on my buffoonery, and I decide to double down that I WAS NOT NAPPING. We get into a pretty heated argument about what constitutes a nap and the specific things that I was doing if it were not napping. I do not back down and start essentially yelling at them that I was not napping. This grew into an uncontrollable inside joke where whenever I would go anywhere with these guys they would say something like "man, its a good thing bendernas doesn't take naps", he'll be the life of the party. Or some shit. This slowly spreads to basically everything we did (small school of ~ 3000 students, where most people had some sort of obscure connection to most other people) and I eventually became known as the person who didn't take naps. (edit: i love naps) A few years later we became roommates and the proceed to wake me up basically every single day whenever I took a nap.

• When I got out of college, I got accepted in an internship. After that internship, they hired me. When they asked about my diploma, I said the truth, that I needed a few more general classes(French and PE) to finish and get my diploma. They said: No problem, but you have to get your diploma. I said(the beginning of the lie): It's alright, I'm already registered for the classes next semester. They said: Ok but make sure you get it soon! Then never asked about it again, even after changing HR management twice since then. I've been working here for 10 years now, never went back for my diploma. I know it's stupid, but let's hope I end my career here or something.

• Living in a College Town, every year around spring graduation there's one or two "I'm here to see my kid graduate, but I haven't been able to locate them" families. Usually kids that stopped going, pocketed their parents money, and/or just gave up and couldn't handle telling the family. It ends sadly sometimes. That's a big lie/deception to deal with and maintain. It almost always comes to a head.

• My first relationship. A few days in, then-girlfriend tells me she isn't ready to go public just yet and if we could just pretend we weren't together for a few days then she would be ready. Six months later, I had lied to so many people for her I can't tell whats real anymore and any time I asked her if we could stop because it was messing with me she refused and argued her way out of it. Looking back on this fucks with my head to this day. Amazing how much things like that can snowball.

• One time someone who I wanted to be better friends with showed me a metal gear solid meme and me being me I pretended to understand it. I then was forced to research all the games and their plots, Easter eggs, quotable characters, and other memes to better fake understanding. I still have never played a metal gear solid game.

• My fiance has a great one. She's a picky eater, and rather than tell her best friend that she doesn't like bananas, she told her "I'm allergic to bananas." For YEARS, her best friend would make sure everything was banana-free. From cakes, to desserts, to even clearing her house of anything banana related. After close to 15 years, my fiance finally told her "Hey, I just don't like bananas." Nervous, thinly veiled hatred in the form of laughter ensued.

• One teacher at school said my name wrong and I was too anxious to correct him. Long story short it’s almost been a year and I’m in too deep to say anything else.

• I live in Cambridge, UK and my go to answer to those "interesting-facts-about-you" moments (you know, corporate icebreakers or interview stuff) is that I got knocked over by Stephen Hawking whilst on the pavement near my house. Partly true as in he lives in the city, travels out and about on said streets. Truth is I just saw him on a path once. I was driving. People love that it's a bit different so imma keep using it.

• A buddy of mine's dad had a funny ongoing joke of sometimes referring to his son's friends by similar, but incorrect names. Trent became Trevor, Scott became Sam, Ethan became Eric. Just silly stuff like that. So in that vein he starts calling me 'Donald' (jesse is my middle name, my first one starts with 'D'). At first I thought he was joking, but he just. Didn't. Stop. Its been years, and now that we're all moved out and on our own I rarely ever see him. But he still calls me Donald whenever I do, and at this point its way too late to correct him.

• This is a small thing, I don't go by my full name but when I sign up for classes at my gym, it's done through an app and shows up on the roster as my full name. I never thought that anyone there would eventually know me by name, so when the instructor would take attendance I just never corrected in. But now I'm a year in and I'm casually friendly with most people there and I'm in way too deep to correct them now. It's not that I mind my full name that much, I have just never really gone by it.

I've rediscovered my love for dancing I think. I've always liked it and making my own choreography even if it isn't really good since I haven't received proper training.

Two stories come to mind.

One. When I was in middle school I wrote a play for my class that included my own choreography and we did a couple of rehearsals before eventually disbanding due to conflict. And I remember a group of 3 girls who attended class dances together going like "your dance is such bs with all this jumping around, THIS is what real choreography looks like" and then proceeding to show off a dance routine that they had learnt in their dance class. And honestly it still makes me laugh because like alright you 3 can copy a trained adult dancer's program just fine but when was the last time you tried making something on your own besides throwing your first crying fit at birth

The second is from when I started taking hiphop classes in middle school with a friend of mine. She was a really flakey person and attended regularly at first but then just stopped. Which was fine, I enjoyed the practice on my own as well. I didn't really know anyone there and didn't stand out, but it was fun regardless. That was fun until a group of girls from the class came up to me and asked if I was from school X class Y. I was like yea. Didn't ask where they got that info from but since those 3 girls from the first story attended other classes at the same studio, my best guess is that they were the source. And anyway since then they just started acting really obnoxious with me. Fake coughing whenever I passed them and laughing etc. And like, idk. I'm really not sure what I'd done to make a great enough impression for them to bother.

Eventually I quit the class. There were other reasons as well, like the music always being deafening even after I asked the teacher to turn it down a bit, but having bullies and no friends there just made it not fun.

I don't really regret it though since I've always liked learning on my own more. I'm currently trying a few kpop dances and moves just to practice and then doing impro dance which has always been the most fun for me. I feel like it also really helps me get over my awkwardness C: