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still-a-morosexual-help · 3 years

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OBEY ME! LESSON 46 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

This lesson’s got two locked chapters that I can’t unlock :’)

D takes them to the casino where they meet Mammon in the Lamp event outfit. When he laughs and tells them that they must have forgotten who he is if they think they can take the money MC ignores all of this to ask him wtf he’s wearing. Mammon blushes and tells them that they have no right to criticize what he’s wearing considering what they’re wearing. Then he says also Lucifer wtf happened to you!? He laughs and teases Lucifer about getting shrunk and how he could accidentally step on him and kill him rn or how Beel might eat him as a snack. I saw someone say that Mammon was a little shit who was also BabyTM and like Yess!??? I love when we get to see more of the asshole side of him specially when we already know how soft he is. Man’s an onion :’) Beel says he wouldn’t do that unless Lucifer hid inside a piece of cake and Beel swallowed him whole without realising. Lucifer, off screen: “You’d better realise I was there!” And Like??? That’s the point Lucifer wants to argue? Not the fact that he wouldn’t hide inside a cake? Mammon says whatever and that he’ll take Lucifer from them so he can have fun with his new toy anyway RIP to Mammon who dies after this lesson. “Mammon, Avatar of Greed, Appears”- gonna have Pokemon Battles from now on, I can’t believe this what this dating sim has evolved into :D Mammon uses wind to lift Lucifer up and bring him towards him. MC has a flashback to the previous night and commands Beel who transforms into a demon and whose body starts moving on its own, Beel then cancels out Mammon’s spell and uses a wind spell to send Mammon flying. Beel transforms back to his human form and is shocked by what happened. Solomon says MC did a good job commanding Beel though they weren’t able to draw out all his powers. They get the armour, which Beel thinks is too flashy but MC tells him it looks great which he is happy about. D tells them about a rumour of Satan attacking a town up north.

As they walk through the woods Lucifer talks about how much he’s gonna love beating the shit outta Mammon when he’s back to normal and waves MC off when they ask him to go easy on Mammon. Beel says that Lucifer used to be a lot nicer to Mammon in the celestial realm and how the two of them would team up to go argue with Raphael. Solomon asks if it was Diavolo who got Lucifer to change and what exactly Lucifer had to do to reach the status they now enjoy in the Devildom. Beel seems shocked at this and ask Lucifer if it’s true. He says he doesn’t remember. There’s growling & they’re suddenly surrounded by ghosts. Solomon: Oh yeah lol this is called the Black Phantom Forest. Everyone else: WHY the FUCK didn’t you say so before!? They run from the ghosts and set up camp beside a lake, MC & Beel talk. Beel says how they’ve all changed from their time in the Celestial Realm and he can’t remember when he stopped resisting the urge to constantly eat. But how somethings are still the same and how the brothers have always been together and how they always will be. He brings up the three things the butcher said to maintain a long relationship and how even though they may sometimes falter at the “respect each other” part when it comes down to it the brothers have all three things with each other (Not me sobbing like a baby. It’s the found family trope for me guys). Beel says how he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fight Belphie if they meet him in the game and how he has so many people who he loves that he doesn’t know who to put first and that he knows many people would kill to have that kinda problem and that as both an angel and a demon he’s being lucky to have the people he loves. MC gets to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder or say nothing and guys I love Beel so much he’s just so pure god. Okay so theory part: I 100% believe (& it’s implied in canon and in the chats too) and the main reason Lucifer is so mean to Mammon now is because he’s scared if he doesn’t discipline him then Diavolo will and he’ll end up with another Lilith situation. That being said I NEED to know how Lucifer came across Mammon in the celestial realm and what he said to make Mammon so loyal to him. PLS om! Give me the boys backstory? I like to think Lucifer raised Mammon the same way Simeon is raising Luke and that’s why you can see some of Lucifer’s traits in Mammon whenever he becomes serious about something and why Mammon sometimes slips up and calls Lucifer “Dad” and why Lucifer becomes so happy about it. I also think the others would have been older than Mammon was when he first met Lucifer, when they eventually joined the family which is why they share far less traits with Lucifer and why (as far as we know) none of them have called Lucifer ‘dad”. If this is true it also brings up a real interesting dynamic between Satan and Mammon that would be useful when writing fics. You know a little deeply buried resentment and envy about Lucifer having been more of a father figure to Mammon than to the person who is technically his actual son, and since we know for a fact that right after arriving in the Devildom Lucifer starts going through an existential crisis and Mammon’s the one who steps up to look after the others I 100% believe Mammon’s the one who did most of the work in raising a newly created Satan and who taught him how to control his anger so well (cause lets be real it definitely couldn’t be any of the others) which also gives backstory to Satan’s “do you think Mammon’s actually the most decent of us” homescreen comment and more importantly adds spice to the relationship dynamic you can work with in fics.

When they wake up Beel is thankful that they didn’t get eaten. Solomon: not like you would have noticed with all the fun you had *wink wink* Lucifer: wtf Solomon:*WINK WINK* Me: bro they were just talking… they find out game time and real world time pass differently and come across a treasure chest in the middle of their path. Solomon: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Expect that’s definitely a trap… Solomon: Exactly! Which is why we should open it! :D MC: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Why is the entire human species so fucking stupid!? Why were you created without any self preservation!? Who approved this!? They find medicine, a warding bottle and cat ears. …They put Lucifer into the bottle and Lucifer’s really going through it in this huh. But opening the chest pulls up an inescapable battle with the final boss, and Satan pops up fully immersed in the villain role with an evil laugh and everything. Luci asks MC to use something from the chest and they use the cat ears and Lucifer’s disappointed when they actually work. But it only deals 222 damage to Satan’s 870k HP. Satan paralyses them all and steals bottled lucifer and calls Belphie to finish the others off. I can’t remember if I mentioned this before but how did the brothers know that Lucifer was gonna be mini before they even got home, it would’ve had to be quite a bit in advance for them to so perfectly set up everything… And you know Solomon was really determined to open that chest (I mean so was MC but the whole of season 1 was establishing that their curiosity was gonna get them killed) so…

MC tells Belphie they don’t want to fight him and Belphie says he doesn’t want to fight either but at the same time Satan agreed to give him mine lucifer for a whole day if he defeats them. Beel’s still reluctant and Belphie says Beel doesn’t have to worry cause Belphie isn’t the same small/weak person that Beel always had to protect (and holy shit I need more info on this too?). Beel eventually agrees and says that Belphie’s strong, he tells MC that they weren’t able to use his entire power against Mammon cause he was holding himself back unconsciously but that he was ready now. MC makes Beel do a bunch of wind attacks and they defeat Belphie who’s impressed. Beel says that the magic was actually MC doing it not him (even though he was the one that executed it). Belphie says he’ll join their party if MC promises him that he’ll be allowed to poke at mini luci. MC tells him there’s a damned line and he’ll have to wait his turn. Solomon wonders if MC should be going around giving the right to annoy lucifer to others but also he wants that right too. Even though Lucifer was kidnapped since he’s still in the bottle he’ll be protected so MC’s test is still ongoing. Odd that there was a bottle that would protect Lucifer should he get kidnapped in the chest that was a trap… look we all know Solomon is shady enough that he’s probably behind this right?

During dinner at a tavern the twins are sickeningly soft with each other and Solomon watches them with a smile. For the night the twins end up sharing a room with each other, with Mc and Solomon alone together. In the middle of the night MC wakes up to Solomon still up and looking sad. They ask him what’s up. He says despite how much they walked he still isn’t tired and that seeing the twins together made him lonely. Seeing how much they love and care and understand each other and how they were always together made him wish he had something similar but how when you didn’t age it was difficult to from lasting bonds like that in the human world. MC tells him that all of them care about him and he says he hopes so. Solomon: Lol just the two of us in a room in a game, wouldn’t it be crazy if we made out? MC can either kiss him or kinda stare awkwardly. If they choose the second he apologises for suddenly putting them on the spot and says he won’t try anything else. So this might be kinda an unpopular opinion and I’m genuinely really happy that the side characters are getting more screen time and development because I desperately needed that but I’m not really onboard the romancing option with them? I’m happy they’ve got their own cards now and I love the devilgram stories and romance options in them but I don’t think it makes sense in the context of the main storyline? Barbatos has almost no interaction with MC and though they haven’t shown it yet it’d be weird if he was suddenly into MC. Diavolo spent 2 whole seasons simping over Lucifer why is MC suddenly an option? Besides Diavolo always seems so lonely and I really want him and MC to be really good friends, I want Diavolo to have a friendship where there isn’t some condition that hangs over it like there is with his relationship with Barbatos and Lucifer. The same goes with Solomon. I just want him to have a good solid friendship where there isn’t expectations or power between them. He also initially only seems interested in MC for their power and as a way to train them and eventually genuinely softens up to them, Just the request to kiss seemed outta nowhere? I don’t know why but with Simeon he seems above crushes? I always imagine him seeing MC as another cute kid Lucifer picked up (despite MC being an adult) and having a sort of soft indulgent attitude towards them. I don’t know I think I just want MC to have some friends who aren’t trying to sleep with them.

Solomon is extremely chipper the next morning and Belphie grumpily makes a comment about him having fun and sdfjdvnsjdokd they just talked. Belphie uses his magic to teleport them to Satan’s castle and Beel asked why he couldn’t do that the previous night, Belphie says grumpily cause then Solomon would have missed out on the fun and Solomon agrees and THEY JUST TALKED!? Satan has managed to transform Lucifer into wolf Lucifer and is shaking his bottle hard enough to make Luci wanna puke while Lucifer asks him to stop. MC tells satan to stop and he tells them they won’t be able to defeat him cause they skipped right to the boss battle without taking the long route and levelling up. MC says they’re not gonna fight him cause this whole thing is fucking stupid. Satan says it’s not cause he’s having fun. MC gives him one of their free therapy sessions about how important the bonds between he and his brothers are and how they don’t care more about helping the brothers all get along than some stupid star. Beel comes out spitting facts, saying they all know that Satan actually cares about Lucifer and how that embarrasses him and how he needs to stop hiding it by lashing out. And how Lucifer needs to get his shit together and be honest with satan. That he needs to tell Satan that Lucifer knows he’s his own demon and a really good demon at that. Lucifer says FYI but I never said you weren’t your own great person and Satan blushes and says that unless he wants to look childish he has no option but to accept the olive branch. He tosses Luci to MC. Belphie complains about having stupid older brothers and Solomon says he’s disappointed in Satan and reveals himself as the true secret final boss and FUCK YEAH! I CALLED THAT SHIT! Kinda – I thought he might have just given them a heads up about Luci’s condition. On a different note, Satan needs serious therapy. They all do tbh.

Solomon congratulates MC on what they’ve done so far but says they still haven’t accessed Beel’s full potential and that he’ll give his ‘adorable apprentice’ one more shit at it. Solomon summons Asmo who complains about how long he was made to wait and how he nearly gave up and went to the spa and that no one likes a selfish man. Solomon tells Asmo that he can tell him all this after they get back to the real world and I genuinely want the backstory of how they met and just more about their relationship. At Solomon’s command Asmo uses charm and paralyses Beel and at MC’s Beel uses another wind attack. Asmo says he’s never seen beel do something of this calibre before and he seems more powerful, even more than he was in the celestial realm, Asmo yells at Solomon for just standing and seeming impressed instead of helping him. There’s a bright white light.

Back home with everything back to normal Beel, Lucifer and MC are hanging out by the pool. Lucifer is in an unexpectedly good mood and MC has earned a star, which glows slightly from its place on the symbol etched to the back of their hand. Inside Solomon is feeding the other brothers as punishment. Mammon is sobbing his heart out and Levi is out cold (possibly dead). Satan is given Levi’s remaining share of food and Asmo is in tears. Belphie had made a run for it the second they got home and is nowhere to be found. Solomon talks about how nice Lucifer actually is and how he really loves his brothers cause he just made Solomon make them dinner instead of punishing any of them…. Love that the canonical reason why none of these demons tell Solomon about his food and allow themselves to get tortured is cause they don’t wanna be rude and hurt his feelings. And he thought no one cared about him. If that isn’t love I dunno what is. Beel and MC take a walk while Lucifer sits by the pool and in his words basks in “their screams of agony” While blushing beel says he’s grateful for what happened and how that star is proof that they got closer. Mc can either thank him or say that the star belongs to him. I think they kiss after the second option? For the first Beel says MC’s the one who did the work of drawing out his power. Over the echoing screams from inside Beel asks if they feel like they forgot something and ndfjkfjkdjfefjkn THEY FORGOT DIAVOLO I’M!!!!???? poor baby

#my posts #my theories #obey me spoilers #obey me!#obey me #swd obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me shall we date

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dhufeainnewedd · 3 years

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people will always try to turn you into a story if you let them.

the girl arrived in town at age ten __ mute for unknown reasons, small cowboy hat on her head, a lizard in her hand, and no desire to look civilized. / she wasn't talking, so they talked for her / they say she came to be in a field, unearthed & dirty, with no mother to look up to and no father to watch over her / they say wind & soil made her into a girl, like clay has made so many dolls in the past / from pandora, formed by the gods, to pygmalion's lover, more solid than ivory. / it does not matter that the girl grew up breathing & laughing, crooked smiles & scratched knees / THE STORY GROWS AS SHE DOES & SHE LETS IT. the reason why is so simple : if not for the myth, she would have to talk about mama / the way she cried while holding her newborn baby (cursed, cursed, cursed, cuRSED, CURSED) the litany so similar to ancient mourners ; tearing at hair & clothing, striking her breasts, a chanted dirge which tasted too much like despair. / ishtar would have to talk about her father / a blurry picture of a retreating silhouette, how absence has always felt like a failure at being something wanted.

she doesn't remember much but she remembers children / 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 & 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 / they were three, which was a good number, a safe number : baby was born with two hands & two siblings, so each set of fingers could hold on to one of them, and them to each other. a circle of love / she remembers that. the love. / she thinks she shouldn't. she thinks she might have turned them into stories too ; remembrance is a trick she learned late, and even herself, she cannot draw without encountering difficulties / she always imagines herself as the girl in the field — the girl walking towards home because her mother always forced her to make a choice, which was no choice at all : mama drove her to the end of the field in the black pick-up truck and told her, if ya wanna be difficult, if ya wanna run away, then fuckin' go — we don't want ya. but if home's where yer headed, ya can find th'way on yer own. / so ishtar had to choose home, a curse in reverse. bless the home that has birthed you ! a ghost walking back to its haunting ; she did, she chose home like one chooses whatever is the opposite of death, and she thinks that might be why she doesn't want one anymore — walking towards home would be penance, would be punishment, would be her very own stations of the cross. / she is tired of walking toward places that dare to call themselves home and are stranger to her than the field & the river.

esther wasn't beautiful. esther was terrible. / she liked eating oranges. sticky hands shoved in ishtar's hair as part of a game only she knew the rules of / they weren't old enough for her to know but sometimes she thinks esther's cruelty was inherited ; from mother to daughter. although her violence was a sweet one, diguised as attention : she would torment her sister all day long & then spend some quiet hours with her, listening to a bad dream elisa had had the night before / 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎 ? / she remembers esther helping her with her hair later that day. her small childish fingers in warm water & bubbles, making sure the faint citrus scent would be washed away.

simon was neither terrible nor beautiful, he was there / sometimes, ishtar wonders if that made him the worst persecutor or the best ally / 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂 𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚄𝙻𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙻𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙺𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙼𝙰𝙼𝙰'𝚂 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙻𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃. / he watched, a silent witness in the back of the room. when he was there to breathe in his part of oxygen, mama lacked the excess necessary to scream at ishtar / so maybe he was a small mercy maybe he was a saint maybe- / she remembers mama shoving her daughter's head underwater to salvage her from sins she had yet to commit outside of the maternal mind, she remembers spitting out water for help, she remembers desperate hands reaching for help (hers) & empty hands unnmoving (his) / a brother, standing a few steps away, silently watching / okay, so maybe he didn't care, maybe he prefered his little sister to be the receptacle of mama's insanity, maybe- / no one warned ishtar that she would get abandoned, but simon somehow heard of it, because when the girl opened her bag at the orphanage, a small book with blank pages and an address fell from it (when you're ready to come home, he wrote) / she kept it / she keeps it / she wants to burn it and never manages to throw it into the fire

years have passed / the story doesn't end / the white pages await.

she meets them later / it is september & summer is slowly being washed away ; ishtar's grief is almost as potent as her rage for the town she left behind / she thinks 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐄 and wants to yell, she thinks 𝐉𝐉 and wants to cry, she thinks about 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘 and almost goes back to her car. but she doesn't think about 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄, too afraid to summon another ghost / she doesn't know why she takes the notebook with her, and why she follows simon's writing, because home has never been that place / but maybe she likes the pain, maybe she needs it, maybe she needs to be another ghost instead of the one carrying them, maybe she needs to see mama and remember how awful that was, how grateful she is for malborne. that way she can't be mad at him for being dead ... because at some point he made sure she'd stay alive when her own mother didn't / maybe she just wants a reason for the ache / at home she finds simon and esther and a grave / mama's ghost, the narcissistic echo of her voice filling that house with memories ishtar thought she had gotten rid of.

esther is beautiful & terrible / when she sees ishtar, she calls her 𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐄 and pretends that the girl who wore that name didn't drown years ago / she asks her for a story & gets angry when she is served one ; she doesn't know yet that truth in ishtar's mouth is half-chewed pieces of an orange & clean fingers. / esther tells hers, and by that i mean she lies / ishtar might choose the ominous & the unclear, but esther cares too much, esther wants her truth the same way she wants her past : perfectly sugarcoated. she lies her way into greatness and pretends no one can see the grime under her fingernails. / even the accent, she got rid of. she is a collage of every personality trait she thinks could give her importance, and that might be the only reason why ishtar thinks they would like each other, if they gave it a chance : both reflections of ideals they'll never reach. / but if esther can lie, she is no fantasy ; ishtar is the best at what she does, her sister is not. she is too conceited, too enamoured with what she has, what she is — she can't play her part because she cares too much about her authenticity. the fire in her is untamed, it is wild, it is a spark above a withered field. (it always, always ignites) / ishtar is no fire ; girl underwater, changing like the current. authenticity doesn't matter when you've washed your self away / it is so easy to see her through the cracks, to see esther in the way she pins her hair & the way she laughs, in the way lazy syllables soon get drawled when she is having fun. / 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚝𝚊𝚛'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎, 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 & 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜, 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

and if esther's the windows then simon must be the walls, because he is there, right there , holding everything together, giving coherence to the mess of them / and if esther likes to talk & ishtar pretends she likes to talk while listening, then simon is their exact opposite : he keeps his mouth shut until he needs words / maybe that too is inherited : dad's forced silence due to absence / when ishtar arrives, simon recognizes her immediately, and that might be both an admission of guilt & one of love (in this family, the line is so thin you wouldn't be able to hang yourself with it) maybe that's why dad left : 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙼𝙴 & 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝙾 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙷, and still nothing in this house to end the suffering — just ghosts haunting the farm, haunting the fields. / maybe he ran away from home the way sinners run away from church, convinced god's not watching if you turn your back on him. maybe he thought he wouldn't leave with his past, or with his hands. maybe he thought he'd just leave — and that is ishtar's inheritance, legs that do not know when to quit, the profound certitude that the house you left will not follow you forever.

anyway, the point is : simon didn't talk a lot and when he did, ishtar thought it'd mean something, thought it'd be like gemstones found on exile (something worth holding on to for later. for when you'll need them. for when you'll have to see the world again, tired feet & crazed eyes) but his words didn't mean anything. empty, broken shells / even his gestures are void, the way he pressed a palm on the center of her back like he did when they were kids, asking her : where have you been ?, like the touch would soothe the ache of the question / he hurts her in innocent ways. he hurts her with quiet questions, with long looks, with a hug and a forehead kiss and a, are you hungry ? do you want to see mama ? / she comes home and it isn't home, has never been, but the notebook gets filled with moments she clings to, moments she had longed for. she is seven again, shoved underwater, divinity washing over her, breathless & aching & desperate for the safety of home.

ishtar wants to leave and she tells them that / tells them she had wanted to make sure the river was real, said she had wanted to see the church and the field, said she had wanted to see the farm and the house / she doesn't say she had wanted to see them as well, but the way she takes the time to announce her departure feels heavier than any confession / on her way out, esther throws a look at simon and simon shrugs and somehow that hurts ishtar even more — the way they've created language out of habit. the first sign of a community working as one : symbols being given meaning that only you, part of a whole, can understand. ishtar stands outside of the home they made, looking through the window. / esther says, you know, and simon continues without missing a beat, we were thinking about going away for a while. wanna take us with you ? it'll be fun, and that's esther's voice, and maybe it's a lie, maybe it's a warning, maybe ishtar should've known better. but she's tired of being alone & so alone she's always tired, so she says yeah sure get yer stuff / and they leave, and leave, and leave.

it lasts almost five months of traveling around. ishtar's exile, a religious experience. when the youngest has an idea, simon smiles & esther tells her she'll never be able to pull through. you've always been too scared — and that too is another lie, ishtar knows it's a lie, but she hates being denied autonomy, agency or control, so she has to prove her sister wrong / she does. she does every time. it's a bottle in her hand, too many shots, a weird looking pill, a piercing and a tattoo, a boy's hand, another boy's thigh, a girl's mouth, a long list of victims and no crime scenes apart from her body & her mind / she used to like it. 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙾𝚂. the unpredictable violence. even bloody teeth felt good when you were the one asking for a punch. / but it doesn't feel like a choice when someone else is whispering the idea in your ear / and simon looks and simon smiles and simon only asks if she's okay and if she's having fun and ishtar says yes because she is because she wants to be because admitting defeat would mean having to go and she has nowehere else to run to.

but if esther is the demon on her shoulder, ishtar's doing her part too : each challenge is extended to her sister, a tandem of violence, the childish rampage of kids who don't know the difference between actual torture & play-pretend. they wreak havoc around them, and the more esther asks of her, the more ishtar puts her through as sweet revenge. baby grew teeth while she was away from the horror house & it shows ; bite marks all over her sister's hands as a parting gift. / and if simon keeps watching it's because ishtar makes him, because ishtar wants him to see the worst. when she dares esther into another terrible decision he has no choice but to witness, and if he grew a spine in ishtar's absence it doesn't even matter, because the game has only one rule and it's the rule of ones : one dare, one day & only you, nobody can help you. / so he watches, is forced to watch. he asks them to stop but each warning falls into deaf ears : esther wants to win and ishtar doesn't care enough to let her. / and sometimes he plays too, sometimes she forces him into acting fast, life or death situations, and he's there with his two good hands, trying to figure out where she wants from him / he thought he could avoid it, of course he did, 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝙸𝚂𝙷𝚃𝙰𝚁 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙰 𝙼𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙳𝚈 : 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴. / 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙻 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙵𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝙱𝙻𝙴𝙴𝙳.

it's a game and ishtar learned it years ago : you can't win if you think you stand a chance. (simon wants a life where watching doesn't mean violence / esther wants a life where she isn't a synonym for their mother) / ishtar gave up, is giving up on this past, the pages are burning and illuminated by the soft glow of the bonfire, she smiles. / they were no circle of love. they were the triangle of it, a pyramid of abuse with someone on top, always someone on top, and the cutting edges have left marks so deep in ishtar's skin she knows her way to the top, she'd climb it with her eyes closed, she has played this game a thousand times before meeting them — they stood no chance.

don't look in the notebook, don't read the words, they're lying to you. they're another prophecy you'll feel forced to fulfill : no one in that place wants you back. it's the house who wrote the words, the house with the memories of you asking for more. the greedy house. the haunted house. it needs its ghost, its sweet sacrifice.

(she leaves again) (leaves the notebook with esther & simon) (on the last page, a response to his request to come home : —turns out you can't go back to a place that never existed but i'm ready to build one now) no address to guide them there ; if it is where they are headed, they will find a way.

#eye contact /#child abuse /#drowning /#parental death /#a lot of lowkey triggering content so be careful #HEADCANONS between my sleeping & dreaming .#but for anyone who has to deal with modern ishtar... theres a bunch of useful info in there #if you're brave enough to read.... all of that #its a study on her relationship w her siblings #and on her past prior to her ending up in the orphanage

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randomfandomasks · 3 years

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Mafiafell Headcanons

This is probably my favourite Mafia AU just because they are so chaotic evil, and chaotic evil is the best kind of evil.

This Family love violence, and they thirst for power.

A lot of Gangs are actually really afraid of them since the won´t hesitate to kill you or to kidnap you and torture you and many other things.

Despite that they are actually very chill as long as you are respectful and polite. They are protective over their Family and their protected areas, but not for free, however they won´t force a really poor family (with little kids) to pay. They aren´t heartless after all they do show mercy.

The reason why the police doesn´t even think about to intervene is because they are really scared of this Gang, and even those who try will end up dead anyway.

This is also probably the most stylish family. The black, red suits fit their chaotic evil persona, and a lot of them also wear leather jackets in their free time.

Also, they all work in groups.

Sans, Papyrus and Frisk work together.

W.D Gaster works together with Alphys

Asriel works together with Chara and Monster Kid (sometimes Frisk comes a long)

Undyne and Mettaton are Asgores and Toriels personal bodyguards. Napstablook also works with them, but he is mostly in the shadows.

Grillby, Muffet, and Burgerpants work together.

Asgore and Toriel are estranged, but they still work together.

Toriel is the more merciful.

Asgore is the boss/don. He is very powerful, and professional. He is very strategic and intelligent. And he knows that killing all of his enemies would be bad for business. He is also more active than the other Mafia Asgores. He uses weapons and magic. And he also caries a gun with him. In a fight he uses a minigun (and yes he can carry it). Mafiafell Asgore is very tall and physical strong. He also always smokes a cigar. He likes black coffee, and he is not much of a gardener. He enjoys playing chess, and he is actually a good dad. While he can be very strict and distant, he is also very protective and he is very proud. He shows that when he sends him on a mission with extra protection, better guns, and he also always sends Sans or Undyne or Napstablook to keep an eye on them.

Toriel is also very smart and also very strong in a battle. She is mostly in the background though. She prefers doing the paperwork and taking care of the finances. But she always goes to the Mafia meetings together with Asgore. She mostly uses her fire magic, but she always has a small gun with her. She often decides if someone deserves mercy or not. The only time when she doesn´t even think about showing mercy is when someone threatens the safety of her children or children in general (hers or not). That´s when she is going to join to hunt these thugs down.

Asriel: He is a perfect balance between his parents, he is both merciful and is not afraid of using violence. Although he isn´t much involved in fights, he often collects money from certain shop owners, he picks up the supplies from Grillby, Muffet or Burgerpants, and he also threatens people that are causing trouble in the protected areas. Most of the time he works with Chara and Monster Kid. But there are also times when Frisk joins them, too. While he is uses both his magic and Weapon, he prefers using weapon than his magic. He only uses magic in playful fights since then he can control it better, but when he wants to hit his target he uses guns. He uses a shotgun. Due to his cute looking face it is easy for him to mislead people into thinking that he is very innocent and nice. This has come in handy a lot of times. He is sarcastic, and often very mean, but he is also a gentlemangoat.

Chara: Besides joining Asriel with his jobs. Their job is also to get rid of people that are threatening, insulting, spreading rumors about the family. They always look very cold and Stoic. Their emotions are often hard to read which is why they are the perfect person for threatening people, and they are also a great people reader. With those “talents” they also make a great bodyguard. Besides, that they are actually very soft when they are at home and surround by the people they love. They are wearing leather jackets...and leather jackets only. They actually dyed their hair, now they have black hair with red highlighters. Their aim is also great, and they are also quick at drawing their gun. They´ve been taught by Asgore and Undyne.

Frisk: Together with Sans and Papyrus they are always walking together. They are the assassins and the once that beat up annoying people. Frisk is actually very charming and kind, but their kindness hides a storm. This little body hides a dangerous killer. They're also making deals with other Mafia groups or the police or with other thugs. When they do not have to assassinate somebody, then they often hang at Grillbys bar or the help Asriels group. They are also living together with Sans and Papyrus they are Frisks dunkles. And Frisk is kind of the boss of their little Group.

Sans: He is the best fighter in this Family, but he does listen more to Frisk and Papyrus than to Asgore. They are the only reason he is actually with the Mafia. He is hardworking. Besides, beating up idiots. He is actually always collecting information about the person that they have to assassinate. And he is actually helping Undyne and Papyrus with the interrogation. He has the best aim out of them all, but he prefers to either use just his hands or his magic because its more fun. He still loves to hang out at Grillbys bar. And he actually trains quite a lot. He has a short temper and he if he isn´t taking it out on their target than he takes it out on a dummy.

Papyrus: The interrogator and torturer. Despite him being arrogant he actually loves having Frisk as their boss. He doesn´t really enjoy being a leader anyways. He also somewhat admires that his brother is so hardworking even though he would never admit that. Papyrus is too stubborn and has a big ego. His weapon is an assault rifle. He loves the art of torturing people especially if this one dared to insult or threaten a member of the Family. Sans and Frisk usually do not notice, but Papyrus always glares at everyone who even looks strangely at them. He is slightly anxious, and he always expects someone to attack them. He actually loves his scar because he got it after killing a very dangerous Mafia Boss by himself (actually Sans helped him a bit with that).

Mettaton: He owns a MTTs resort where his worker burgerpants secretly sells weapons, ammo, drugs, and also normal stuff like food and drinks. His club is the most famous one, and people love to hang out in there because there are always music and great atmosphere. He is also a great bodyguard. With him being having a robot body he can see if someone has a secret weapon, he can sense if someones is stressed or dangerous, and he has great reaction. His laser guns are very fun to use, too.

Napstablook: This little smug ghost is a bodyguard and a spy. He is a ghost , and is it impossible to see him. If there is a target that is very hard to assasinate then he helps Frisks group. If Undyne, Papyrus and Sans need help with interrogating he is always willing to help them by spitting some acid on the person. He can also makes somebody disappear without a trace. And he is also loves gambling.

Undyne: She trains the new recruits, guards Asgore and Toriel, always makes sure that their children are safe, and she is also a fantastic fighter. Even though she has a lot of jobs she doesn´t complain. She loves it...since she is always very energetic, active and in need of punching somebody she gets almost never tired. Because of her great work she sometimes gets a lot of free days which she spends with watching Anime, learning how to cook and playing her piano. She won´t be a good assassin though, since Frisks group are mostly very quiet. The last time they took her with them she just straight destroyed the whole building with the target.

Alphys: She and Gaster work on inventing new poisons, medicine, drugs and other chemicals. Most of the time Gaster kidnaps someone and they test their experiments on this person. Also, she and Gaster often heal if someone gets injured during a fight. She also gave Mettaton his body.

Gaster: He is a mad genius. He created a posion that makes people only say the truth, and then this person dies.

Grillby, Webber (Male version of Muffet) and Burgerpants are all dealers: Grillby deals with ammo and weapons, and he also owns his own Bar. Webber has a bakery were she sells normal food, but also drugs and posions. And Burgerpants works for Mettaton. He actually wishes that he would have a better job than only the dealer. Each of them are heavily protected by the Family even though Grillby doesn´t really need protecting since he is great in combat.

Their nicknames:

Asgore: The Godfather

Toriel: Donna, Madam

Asriel: Shotung

Chara: exterminator?, cold eye? (I don´t really know)

Frisk: little boss

Sans: bruiser.

Papyrus: Assault rifle or just rifle

Undyne: Due process

Napstablook: Acid, Acid spitter

Mettaton: lasergun.

Alphys: Doc.Poison

Gaster: sulfur

Grillby: pyre.

(Male Muffet): Webber, gentlespidey. Spidey?

Burgerpants: Whiskers,

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jennycalendar · 3 years

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my top ten calendiles fics (that i wrote)

this rec list took me a solid chunk of time to compile, because my fics are my babies and i honestly wanna throw quite a few of them up here. but EVENTUALLY i stopped being indecisive and finally managed to get this sorted, so here goes! if you wanna read some of my stuff, this is the stuff that i am the most proud of/in love with/would cry if someone asked me leading questions about it + drew me fanart of it. these are not ranked except for the top two, because the first one is my baby and the second one is still very beloved to me.

under the cut, because i have loving commentary!

1. as day follows night (multi-chapter)

Looking for a safe place to stay after her accidental murder of the Deputy Mayor, Faith Lehane allies herself with a mysteriously powerful witch—and stumbles into a fairytale mystery that's bigger than anything she could have anticipated.

(this fic is my goddamn baby. this fic is my C H I L D. this fic is the fic that i took extensive notes for and spent most of my freshman year of college thinking about and ended up as this terrifying love letter to fairy tales and jenny calendar and the complexity of the way she chooses to love people. i love this fic with every fiber of my being and always will.)

2. i still want to be your girl (multi-chapter)

Five years ago, Jenny Calendar ran from Sunnydale and didn't come back. Now, with the First threatening Sunnydale and the Slayer line, she's returned to help stop the apocalypse--but Rupert Giles isn't the man she remembers, and he isn't exactly delighted to have her back in his life again.

(i have a very persistent soft spot for later-seasons giles, but this was one of the few fics where i went “okay but what about battle-hardened jenny” and i’m very proud of the result. it was really fun to think about what might have changed about jenny over the course of five years, and now that i’m thinking about it, i might be really interested in writing a giles pov of this fic at some point? that’s totally a concept to come back to at some point. anyway.)

3. kind of like hydrogen peroxide

Here was the problem: Ripper had no idea how to talk to Jenny without somehow managing to make her want to kill him.

(i do NOT deserve rights if a fic from the ripper au doesn’t make its way onto this list, and this one is my very favorite. i love thinking about dumb teenage giles who pretends to be a rebel but is actually very very soft and very very in love with his equally dumb and genuinely rebellious girlfriend.)

4. spirit-touched

“Thank you, Buffy,” Giles said, “but I would prefer to conduct this research on my own. I’ll be looking into some rather…” He felt himself blushing, and resented it. “Some rather intimate details of ghost-human relations.”

“What does that—oh god, you want to figure out how to have sex with Ms. Calendar,” said Buffy.

(making this the first smutfic i posted was still the most cursed power move i have ever pulled off. anyway that influx of asks in 2016 about ghost jenny and human giles and their sex life inspired this and it ended up being SO funny and SO sweet and i am SO proud of it.)

5. very really married

Giles and Jenny's flights to Sunnydale both stop over in Las Vegas. On the same day. Naturally, a chance encounter leads to a drunken marriage, one that they mutually agree to keep up for appearances.

Which is to say: Giles is going to have to figure out how to hide his fake marriage from his new Slayer (and everyone else) while also hiding his new Slayer from his fake wife (and everyone else). And his complex feelings for Jenny aren't helping anything.

(EVEN NOW, THIS FIC MAKES ME GIGGLE TO THINK ABOUT. i am saving my reread of this particular gem for a rainy day, because it was my love letter to season one and my daydreamy fantasy re: what it would look like if giles and jenny had silly odd-couple energy that really just came from them being fake married and badly hiding it as they fall very deeply in love.)

6. days in goodness spent

This feeling—whatever Giles is feeling—this is bone-deep. He’s never felt it before. He’s been in love before, he’s admired someone before, he’s respected someone before, but this feels like all of those three things held together by something else he can’t quite name. He searches, desperately, for the words that will tell Jenny this, but nothing that has been written can describe the way it feels to be held by her right now.

(In which Rupert Giles gets the chance to fall in love all the way, and it changes him just a little.)

(this one didn’t immediately come to mind when i was drawing up the list, but my brief rereads led me to conclude that it is an underappreciated gem! i’ve written a lot of different takes on giles and jenny’s relationship, but i particularly love calling giles out for idealizing jenny. also i like that this is more abstract than some of my other older pieces, where i really get into the nuts and bolts of wanting to depict Every Single Part of giles and jenny’s relationship trajectory. this one has more fun with the flow of the story.)

7. no one else could heal my pain

“Friday,” Giles echoed.

“Yeah. As an overnight weekend trip to hunt down some books I need.” Ms. Calendar smiled playfully at him. “Isn’t that the kind of thing you’d do for fun anyway?”

(this one was SO recent and SO fun! it’s kind of my love letter to the standalone longfics i consumed voraciously when i was fourteen, because there are some really great older calendiles fics that are just long and winding adventure-y narratives about the two of them goofing off and falling in love. i wanted to echo that here a little bit and it was a delight to write.)

8. myosotis latifolia

Years and years ago, the truth would spill out, and Rupert—in his endless romanticism—would take her hands and tell her she only needed him by her side to feel welcome and loved. But it’s been over a decade since they’ve been that close, and those years have created a distance between them just as insurmountable as the distance between them, now, on the steps leading into his lavish gardens.

(Rupert Giles is an esteemed member of the Watchers' Council, as well as a happily married father. Jenny Calendar knows that that's never been what he wanted.)

(ahaha this one is a big ouch moment but i really love it regardless? i think that giles and jenny are kinda fundamentally incompatible in a lot of ways, and part of the intrigue of their relationship is watching them try and figure out how to compromise and adjust after years of being rigid and inflexible individuals -- giles intellectually, jenny emotionally. so this fic is a lot about that.)

9. the grieving process

After Buffy's death, Giles makes his way to Jenny in LA.

(i don’t know why this one still sticks with me! it just! does! it holds up and i love it and if you wanna read about giles and jenny falling in love in a way that is healthy and authentic without any secrets -- but also obviously very sad -- definitely pick this one up.)

10. decently clothed

“Jenny, are you selecting my wardrobe based solely on what is and isn’t easy to divest me of?”

“…no,” said Jenny.

“That’s not even remotely convincing.”

(i wrote this one during a particularly difficult time in my life, and it was a really special moment for me, because i’d just come out of a period where it had been difficult for me to find the time or emotional energy to write. whenever i return to it, this fic is suffused in that warm and hopeful joy i felt when i posted it and realized that i had not, in fact, lost my touch. so it’s always gonna mean the world to me.

plus it is very silly and sweet! my specialties.)

#fic #calendiles #so i stayed up till 3am for this. i do not deserve rights anymore

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liron-ao3 · 3 years

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Timestamp #1 to Mine to hold

Fake heat

Magnus hasn't felt well since he woke up this morning. His joints are aching, his scars are itching, and he feels sick all over. But there is no use. He planned to paint the nursery a beautiful mint green, and he wants all the fumes to be out of the room when Rafael moves in come Friday.

Their little boy. Magnus can't believe the time has finally come for them to become a family. He's nervous and elated. He manages to push the doubts away. Well, most of the time. That he will raise him together with Alec surely is the only thing that doesn't make him want to revoke the adoption process every six hours or so.

He knows he's ready. He truly is. His therapy sessions have been reduced to once a month. His life is not all rainbows and sunshine, but it is his life—their life—and the ghost of Valentine leaves them alone most of the time.

The media interest has subsided, too, with Magnus' name solely popping up in subordinate clauses whenever there is progress in the legislation regarding the status of omegas in society.

Magnus still loves seeing his name in the papers and signing contracts on his own, every single time shooting a shiver through his body. With the emancipation letter came the option to choose if he wanted to keep Alec's family name or go back to his mother's. The decision-making had blessed him with a few sleepless nights. But when he learnt that future children could carry both their fathers' names, the decision was easily made.

Magnus wipes sweat off his forehead. No one in the northern hemisphere should transpire in February. But he does, from an easy paint job. He feels disgusting and can't wait for the shower he'll take after cleaning up the room.

"Magnus?" Alec's voice comes from the hallway.

"Rafe's room," he shouts and can't suppress a smile.

Rafael Santiago Lightwood-Bane. Not for the first time, tears prick Magnus' eyes from the sheer force of emotions, thinking about his little boy. Or maybe it's hormones? His instincts kicking in? Who knows? He loves Rafe so much already. The now eleven months old orphan had stolen both their hearts the first time they saw him in the orphanage in Buenos Aires. And now, he will find a home with them and with it two fathers who will love him unconditionally.

"Hey," Alec says when he enters the room. "I wanted to help." He presses his lips gently on Magnus'.

"I wanted to surprise you," he replies into the kiss.

Alec smiles at him. "It looks great!" He cups Magnus' neck with his long fingers and his relaxed features morph into a concerned frown. "You feel warm. Are you coming down with something?"

Magnus shrugs and bunches up the plastic sheet that protected the wooden floor. He regards the room that used to be his. Soft light shines through the newly installed window. Magnus can't wait to move the furniture in.

He sways a little when he straightens, and Alec steadies him. "Maybe," he answers morosely. "I'm sweating as if I trained."

"Did you eat something?"

Magnus shakes his head. "I wasn't hungry."

Alec furrows his brow even deeper. Magnus always likes to eat. It's one of his joys after years of starvation and the lack of it a clear sign that something's wrong.

"You smell very sweet today," Alec states and Magnus' eyes shoot up at that.

"No, not again," he whines. "My last was—what?—seven weeks ago? I'm done with these fake heats! And our baby boy comes. There's still so much to do."

Alec pulls him into his arms and guides him to his neck, his scent rising soothingly into Magnus' nose.

"Everything he needs is his Papa and Daddy, our nest, and all the love we can give him. We have enough formula and diapers for a month, the clothes are already washed. The crib and the changing table and all the other stuff can wait."

Magnus nods against his shoulder, thankful for Alec to keep him grounded.

"Come on. Let's get something into your stomach, and then we'll take a shower. What do you say?" Magnus takes a deep breath and nods again.

Alec brings Magnus a protein bar, the only food his mate can really stomach through his fake heats. They had quite a few in the last two years to deal with—never predictable, always a bit frustrating, given that they never turned into a real one, never triggered a heat-rut in Alec. They are a painful reminder of what Magnus has lost, despite all the good things he experienced since he became Alec's omega. At least, the waves are becoming shallow quickly, are easily satiated, and the fake heat usually lasts no longer than two days. Enough time to do the laundry before little Rafe moves in.

Alec undresses Magnus with trained hands. He knows every single of his mate's especially sensitive spots by now and avoids touching them as much as he can. Then he guides him under the shower and smiles when the lukewarm spray from above elicits a soft moan from his omega.

Alec lets his inner alpha run free. By now, he knows that he has a caring wolf that longs to make his mate feel good under any circumstances, but especially in situations like these when Magnus' biology kicks in.

Alec massages shampoo into Magnus' scalp, lathers his body with neutral soap, and presses kisses against his neck, just like Magnus likes it best. He gives himself a quick wash and dries Magnus off with the fluffiest towel they could find in a specialist shop for heat supplies. The scars are much more sensitive during the heats. It had taken them five cycles to find an ointment that numbed the itch enough for Magnus not to want to scratch himself until he draws blood.

Alec leads Magnus to their nest and massages the balm into the sensitive skin. Magnus sighs into the pillows when the numbing and cooling effect sets in. After an obligatory sports drink, they finally cuddle up and take a nap. They'll need the rest for the first wave that is always the hardest.

***

"Alpha."

The sound alarms Alec instantly. It had taken Magnus quite some time to learn that giving in to his inner omega during these fake heats is a sure thing to make the whole ordeal easier. And if his wolf wants to present his belly or his ass and call his alpha just that, so be it.

"I'm here, my little omega," Alec coos.

Magnus' omega loves when Alec talks to him like that, lovingly, not depreciatory. It also likes his strong, sure hands on his body and the relief that comes with his perfect knot. Although Magnus likes these things out of heat, too. But who cares who's in charge now? He hands it over to Alec anyway.

"Need you," he begs shamelessly.

"I'm here, love. How do you want me?"

Magnus rolls on his back with great effort, his whole body aching, his skin dampened with a sheen of sweat. He's thankful that they are still naked from the shower. Waking up like this in his pyjamas is never fun, the wet fabric sticking to the burning skin like glue. Having his heat start in the middle of his shopping, neither. Lucky for Magnus, he doesn't smell like heat for other alphas. Another perk in his book.

Alec smiles at him, and for a long moment, time seems to stand still. Magnus is so in love with the alpha, who treats him like something precious, but never as weak or fragile.

The too-familiar pang of sadness resonates in his chest. Yes, he'll be a father in three days, but he will never grow a baby in his body, will never give birth, or nurse it. Usually, he's fine with it, but never at the beginning of his fake heats. Damn hormones!

Alec crawls between his legs. "Touch or no?"

The two mates are such a well-oiled machine by now and it shows. Magnus assesses the state of his body. He's more sensitive this time, the scar tissue on his abdomen still itching despite the balm.

"No," he says.

Alec nods and shuffles closer, pulling Magnus' butt onto his spread knees. He gives his cock a few strokes to get to full hardness and slides into Magnus with little effort. The miracle of omega biology.

Alec glides in and out of him with as little contact with Magnus' angry red skin as possible. He's a master of it by now. He smiles down at Magnus. "You're so good for me," he whispers and his omega chuckles.

"I'm doing nothing," he jokes and elicits an even wider smile from his alpha. Alec doesn't remember when they had this dialogue for the first time, but it has become a tradition.

"It's getting worse," Magnus hisses, the heat setting his whole body aflame. He hates this. It isn't how a heat should be. Yes, unease is normal, but this simply hurts. There is no passion from his side, no lust or urge to be intimate. They have sex because they know that it will ease the pain. And because they love each other, of course.

Alec could never let Magnus suffer, even though they learnt that the pain would subside on its own even without them having sex—thanks to an impromptu heat when Alec was in Los Angeles for a book reading.

Alec doubles his efforts, and his knot swells soon enough. He takes Magnus' cock into his hand, and after a few strokes, Magnus' body locks up, and he comes all over himself, quickly followed by his alpha.

They come down from their heights rather quickly—Magnus because his skin is still burning despite the fever slowly coming down, Alec because he's already in caring alpha mode again, propping up Magnus' body as best as possible with pillows so that they can stay like this until his knot comes down.

Magnus smiles up at him tiredly. "You're such a good alpha," he praises, and Alec's wolf dances a happy cha-cha-cha in his reptilian brain.

He shakes his head in denial. And yes, Magnus lost many things in his life, fought hard to get some of them back. But this here? Alec? That was simply destiny, and he thanks the angels every day that they brought them together.

Because even through the pain, the fever, and the dizziness, he can feel the love radiating off Alec and through their bond. And it smoothes out the worst edges. Alec's presence doesn't make everything good, but every moment so much better.

"I love you, Alexander," he whispers.

"I love you, too," Alec replies and sends him a kiss through the air that lands like a weightless butterfly on his lips. Magnus closes his eyes, and the last conscious thought he has before he slides into sleep is that fake heats aren't all that bad if you spend them with the man you love.

#malec fandom #malec fic #malec fanfic #malec fanfiction #omegaverse #omega magnus bane #alpha alec lightwood #alpha beta omega #past abuse #infertility #heat

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wildfire317 · 3 years

Text

Since I’ve been obsessed with old vampire shows from the 80’s, 90’s, and 2000's and watching a lot of among us lets plays I thought this would be funny:

(Note this is mostly the kids and teens because none of the adults seem like they would play among us)

The Little Vampire / Der Kleine Vampir:

Tony: pretty neutral when it comes to playing imposter and crewmate not really the best at either but not the worst, however he knows all of the maps the best out of everyone.

Anton: one of the better stratigizers among them for both imposter and crewmate, almost never goes to do the emergency tasks because he hates stack kills with a passion.

Rudolph: he prefers crewmate over imposter but he gets distracted doing regular tasks that he forgets to go and do the emergency tasks thus accidentally drawing suspision.

Rüdiger: he prefers imposter over crewmate mostly because he is a great liar and he has fun trolling the others just casually chasing one of them for a little bit before going off to pretend to do a task.

(Noirette) Anna: she likes the puzzle type tasks and exploring the map but besides that she doesn’t really care if shes on imposter or on crewmate.

(Blonde) Anna: she is really good at wires and can get them done very quickly and is great at finding hiding places, she tends to follow tony around but she tends to be one of the first to get to the emergency tasks.

Greggory: he loves being imposter and likes screwing with the lights and then sneaking up on the crewmates that have gone away from the others before taking off and he usually manages to get to the other side of the map before either the lights are turned on or the body is found.

Lumpi: he loves being imposter and he likes popping into the vents, popping out, killing someone and then popping back into the vents and into another room before anyone notices the kill but he usually gets caught on the otherside. He actually has a favorite map because on that map all of the vents are connected.

Jörg: he loves being imposter especially with Lumpi, and he prefers the fake tasks till someone comes in, kill them and then vent method, he also likes creating emergency tasks to cover himself and lumpi incase they get spotted.

Dorothee: she only plays if her nieces and nephews are playing so she doesn’t practice much so she is always the one who forgets how to do things for both sides.

School for Little Vampires:

Oskar: he HATES being imposter mostly because the kill animation makes him feel sick. He loves finding hiding spots and exploring the maps, if he does get imposter he will immediately out himself upon getting caught.

Gothetta/Gruftine: she is okay with imposter but she prefers crewmate more because if she isn’t crewmate almost nothing gets done and then being imposter is to easy. She is usually the one that is on either cams or vitals.

Stoker/Fletscher: he love being imposter and trolling Oskar by pretending to chase him and then running off. He likes messing with the lights and then just popping up in electrical to get the person whos fixing lights. He also likes drawing the blame to someone else.

Leechy/Tinto: he prefers crewmate but he is okay with imposter. He really likes getting tasks in O2, the lab and reactor because he gets them done pretty quickly but he hates electrical because he knows that Stoker will trap that whole area if he’s imposter. If he gets caught as imposter first and he is partnered with a previous imposter that got him he will just casually troll them in ghost mode.

Klot: he doesn’t have a preference to either team, but first starting out he had a tendency of getting lost in the maps, eventually he finds his way but he often finds all of the best hiding spots especially since his username is the shortest. If he gets imposter with Ashley he will usually end up creating the emergency tasks randomly. He loves the pets and will switch between them every round, however he rarely changes hats despite having all of them.

Ashley: he’s okay with either team, he prefers to do tasks that are near a camera since he doesn’t want to be the first one out but it usually ends up being him anyway if none of the less frequent players are on. Then in ghost mode he usually runs off to find Klot. If he gets imposter with Klot he will usually end up getting most of the kills. He also has all of the pets and hats and likes changing up his characters entire look each round.

Sunshine: she is weirdly good at imposter but she actaully prefers crewmate over imposter. She really likes getting a mix if the long tasks and the short tasks because her method is starting a long one, doing some short ones in the same area, finishing the long one and repeat. As Moonbeam she prefers imposter and she likes the constant vent method and she always hides in the vents, she likes trolling them by getting really close to them and then running off and sabatoging the doors.

Asha: she has no preference to teams, and she tends to follow either Gothetta/Gruftine or Klot and Ashley. She likes the idea of running around with a partner for both teams. Much like Klot she has a short username so they occasionally end up stacking in the same hiding place. She likes changing the outfits.

Buck: he loves getting imposter especially when hes teamed up with Stoker/Fletscher, he thinks its hilarious especially during the body reports. He loves creating the emergency tasks and just generally screwing around with the equipment and he doesn’t usually do much of any hiding. If hes imposter and Sunshine is not shes usually the first one out. Some times he and Ashley make their characters look like eachother just to mess with the others.

Wolfgang: the few times he does join he prefers crewmate so he can tag along with Oskar and maybe not be the first one out. He prefers mostly short tasks and hates any that have him going in electrical. He usually ends up being the one getting chased by the imposter/s. Hes also partially the reason they always have proximity chat on.

Max: he doesn’t care what team he is on as long as he wins. However he is /that player/ who will accuse anyone who accuses him. He is in general not welcomed to the game. If the round starts before he either leaves or gets kicked out he is the first one out. He is also partially the reason why they always have proximity chat on.

Ludwig: he doesn’t join very often or for very long due to his busy schedule but when he does the others can occasionally hear him playing his lute while hes waiting for a long task to complete. He usually tags along with Oskar and Wolfgang, often times he encourages Oskar and Sunshine to go and do something fun together once they log out. Much like Oskar he will out himself almost immediately if he gets caught as imposter because the kill animation makes him feel sick.

Ravena: she prefers playing crewmate. She likes doing the puzzle type tasks and most of the tasks in reactor. She tends to follow Leechy/Tinto around or Gothetta/Gruftine on occasion. She is usually one of the first to accidentally get separated when/if someone starts messing with the lights. She is not very fond of the emergency tasks.

Nerfativi: She genuinely doesn’t care what team shes on as long as she is entertained by everyone else around her causing arguments amongst the others and of course if she gets someone else voted out while covering her own rear she just sees it as bonus points. At this point Stoker is the only one keeping her off the “not welcome” list.

(I’ll add batoria and the other guest kids when and if I finally get to watch the episodes they’re in)

#der kleine vampir #school for little vampires #die schule der kleinen vampire #among us #the little vampire

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kiara-carrera · 3 years

Note

I *need* a JJ and Leah "in the water" kiss for the kiss prompts.

places where people kiss: in the water + mayson

stop omg i love this, love this for my lil water babies. jj is a whiny little attention whore, but we love him anyways. anyways, uh, lot of build up, not a lot of kissing.

Alone time was hard to come by when you were dating someone within your circle of friends. Leah and JJ knew that well enough.

It was normally wasn't that bad. The two had been best friends first and foremost and the group dynamic honestly hadn't changed that much, which worked well in all of their favors. The others had been worried that their newfound love of macking on each other was going to flip everything on its head, but that wasn't the case.

Except sometimes, they just wanted a moment to just themselves, where they didn't have to worry about the others telling them to get a room or to quit acting so "lovey dovey" (which, honestly, Leah liked to argue that they didn't? At least, not in public?). Having a tight knit group of friends was great until literally every time you got to see your significant other, it was within the confines of a group activity.

So when JJ had suggested a boat day out on the marsh, just the two of them, while the others had work? It had been like music to Leah's ears.

JJ had somehow convinced John B to lend them the HMS for the day, which he'd only agreed to once JJ promised to chip in gas money and to not mack on Leah all over his beloved boat — and if JJ had his fingers crossed behind his back for that second clause, well, John B didn't need to know.

They'd gotten an early start on the day, heading out alone to a vacant spot on the water, cooler packed with beers and snacks, and wide grins on their faces as they finally got to have a complete, fully uninterrupted time with each other. The water calm and cool, lapping against the boat gently, and the sun warming everything around them. The marsh was the picture of serenity.

Y'know, if it wasn't for JJ's incessant bitching.

"Baby," he whined, drawing out the word obnoxiously, flopping down onto his back next to her.

The second he'd parked the boat, she'd made a big show of stripping down to her bikini and JJ's mind, literally existing in the gutter sometimes when it came to his girlfriend, had been very interested to see where all of this was going to go.

Only for Leah to lay herself out on the front of the boat, announcing that she wanted to get some sun before doing anything else.

Leah's head raised only an inch from where she had rested it in her arms. She was on her stomach, stretching like a cat in the sun every so often. As much as she adored the water, she didn't want to look like a ghost in the middle of July.

Adjusting the hat on her head (which was actually the one JJ had been wearing before she snatched it off his head), she gave him the same exhausted look she had seven minutes ago. "What now, you big baby?"

He narrowed his eyes playfully at her, rolling onto his side so he could look at her. "Is this all you're planning on doing today?"

It wasn't, but with the way he was pestering her, it might as well be her new plan. "I told you I just wanted like ... half an hour to tan and then we could go swimming. You can literally start without me if you're than antsy to get into the water."

What JJ wanted was for her to get off her ass so they could get in the water together and spend time together. Look, when it came to being around other people, JJ was affectionate, sure, but the way he was with all of his friends. He was never really all over her and never tried to be the only thing she focused on.

But one thing Leah had learned about how he acted when they were alone? He was kind of an attention whore.

Most days it was cute. Today it just made her want to shove him into the marsh.

"You said that ten minutes ago."

She snorted, raising a brow at him as she peeked out over her arm. "What do you have against me laying out in the sun and relaxing, Maybank?"

"As much as I'm enjoying this view," JJ said, shameless in the way his gaze trailed across her body, "I thought we came out here to have fun."

"I am having fun."

"No, you're being boring."

Another eye roll. "Big baby," she repeated. And then seriously, she added, "J, it's my first day off in a week, I'm tired. I'll play with you later."

"That's what she said."

Leah groaned, burying her head back in her arms. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Yesterday you said I was cute," he quipped, a grin on his lips.

She rolled her eyes. "That was yesterday, feelings change."

He scoffed, rolling onto his back in faux offense. Leah giggled against her arm before closing her eyes, thinking she'd bought herself a few more minutes of peace and quiet.

Until JJ decided to change his methods of persuasion.

She could hear him roll back over onto his side to face her, but he kept quiet as he scooted closer to her. She turned her head just enough to peek with one eye, catching a soft yet determined look on JJ's face. A hand was light against her back, tracing up her spine while a soft kiss was pressed to her shoulder.

She hummed happily at the affection and JJ was quick to notice the half hidden grin breaking across her lips.

"Feelings change my ass," he said, poking her cheek.

Leah snorted, before pushing herself up with one hand so she could lay on her side facing him. "You're not going to stop until you get me in that water, are you?"

"C'mon, I don't want to look like an idiot swimming by myself."

Leah raised an eyebrow. "You think that's what's gonna put you over into looking like an idiot?"

His jaw dropped, giving her a small shove to her shoulder. "Mean."

Shaking her head at him, she laughed, figuring she'd tortured him enough. Pushing up into a sitting position, she quickly got to her feet. JJ looked at her questioningly as she stood above him.

She tried not to grin as his eyes once again trailed across her form with a dopey smile on his lips. Although, to be fair, she'd worn this specific swimsuit for a reason. Before they'd gotten together, JJ had once mentioned offhandedly that she looked pretty in it.

If Leah had started putting it in her bikini rotation a little more than her others ... well, that was between her and her dresser drawer.

She pulled the hat off, tossing it behind her. Shielding her eyes from the sun, she looked down at him in question. "Are we doing this or not?"

JJ barely had a second to get up before she faced away from him, taking a perfect dive off the boat and slicing into the water. He stood on the edge for a moment, seeing her slip through the water with ease.

Watching her swim had always been something he'd caught himself doing, even back when they were strictly just friends. The Pogues liked to joke that she could drink like a fish and swim like one, too, but JJ had always felt like he was watching a damn princess movie about mermaids with how easy she made it look.

When she started to resurface, he didn't waste another second before jumping in after her, letting out an excited whoop as he did so.

He broke through the marsh's surface only seconds later, shaking excess water from his hair and wiping a hand across his eyes. Only a few feet from him, Leah was bobbing in the water with a smile and he was swimming towards her before he could even realize he was moving.

JJ tugged her into him, hands catching her under the backs of her thighs. He pulled her in until her legs were wrapping around his waist and he was comfortably holding her in the water. She rolled her eyes at him, but draped her arms loosely around his neck, giving him an amused grin.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hey." Mischief was painted across his features as he stared at her and she had no time to question him before he was leaning in.

She fell into the kiss without question, melting into the moment like ice cream on a hot summers day. It was soft and sweet and tasted like warm beer and saltwater. If you asked her to, she'd stay there forever in his arms.

Eventually she pulled away, hands slipping to JJ's chest when he tried to follow after her lips like it was a game. He groaned in defeat, giving her a look that expected an answer of why their fun was being interrupted.

"Thought you told John B we weren't going to mack on the boat."

JJ grinned, that same mischievous glint dancing through his blue eyes. "We're not on the boat."

That was all it took for Leah to cup his face between her hands, leaning into steal another kiss.

#asks #kiss list prompts #mayson #claryxjackson

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xxanimecoolgirlxx · 3 years

Text

@threateningkahootmusic Prejudice and Fame belongs to them.

Vickie sat at the bar, mindlessly looking at her drink. Another long day at work as a news reporter/ investigative journalist, this time something about a corrupt company. Now normally this wouldn’t be an issue.

Except for the fact that she wished she could legally punch in a couple of individuals teeth without immediately facing assault charges.

Among other things, the company was facing allegations of workplace harassment, discrimination, unequal pay of workers based of sex, and an hostile work environment. And from her experience for working undercover there, it was, indeed, true. In fact, she’d say that the allegations weren’t telling enough! The amount of sexist and racist remarks made at her by staff and management alike would be enough to ensure that no new hires would be daring enough to go there. Even Vickie was surprised at herself for getting this far without snapping at someone. Not that it would’ve made a difference if she did.

All of this evidence through recordings and screenshots would make this seem like an open and shut case, right? Not quite. Even with the damning audio recordings, the camera feed, the multitude of paper documents and such, she knew it wouldn’t be enough for anything to really change. She needed something bigger. She knew that as it stood right now, at the very worse the company would blame a few lowly managers as scapegoats, fire them, and then say that they will do better in the future while knowing good and well that they had no plans on doing anything. Hell, even if they did get any legal repercussions, they could just settle out of court and be done with it. No, Vickie would need something bigger.

Right now she would be doing more research into the company had her work friend not dragged her to this self proclaimed “high end club”. Apparently her friend had been assigned to do an interview to this celebrity, Fame, at least that’s what she hoped his stage name was. She didn’t see a point in drawing needless attention to herself to she opted to stay at the bar and subtly watch from afar. Not like she was dressed to be here anyways, her black knee length form fitting dress was too professional to be in a function like this, her black hair wasn’t styled up to anything fancy and her dark skin wasn’t adorned with any makeup too flashy. It looked like she was at a job interview more than a nightclub. She was more worried about her case than anything else.

“Come on now, I know your defining character quality is being a square, but lighten up a bit, let yourself have some fun.”

Vickie’s eyes wondered over to the ghost that seemingly followed her everywhere, Helena. Seeing that Helena was invincible to everyone but her most of the time, she couldn’t outright face her or talk to her in public without looking odd to say the very least. She raised an eyebrow at the ghost. Like hell she was going to let herself get sloppy drunk and make a complete fool of herself. Maybe that was some other’s tastes to get so blasted that the next morning they don’t know where they were, but it wasn’t Vickie’s taste.

Helena could see the look in Vickie’s eyes

“I know what your thinking. I’m not asking you to behave like an absolute moron. But just chill it. You’re not on the clock right now, you’ll always have time to do this tomorrow. But for the love of god stop worrying yourself.” Helena then crossed her arms

“I promise you if you burn yourself out and pass out from pulling an all nighter again, let me you tell, you will not hear the end of my lectures in the morning.”

Vickie sighed. Although she didn’t say anything, she did make it a point to relax her shoulders and let herself slightly slouch a bit. She finished her drink before ordering a new one when commotion could be heard from the other side of the club behind her. Even with the loud music, Vickie could tell something was going on. Helena looked over and moved closer to see what was going on.

“Oh goddamnit, Prejudice, this is the 5th time this month you’ve crashed the party!” Fame grumbled as Prejudice smirked, snatching a drink out of the hand of Vickie’s coworker.

“Yeah, and I’ll do it again. Besides, I like how you get all p!ssy about it.” Prejudice said as he took a drink from his stolen beverage.

Helena moved back over to Vickie

“Don’t look now, but I think that’s the CEO of that company you’re looking into.” Helena whispered despite knowing she couldn’t be heard by anyone else. Vickie stole a glance to confirm what Helena was saying before looking away just as quickly as to not accidentally get unwanted attention.

“The hell’s he doing here? Shouldn’t he be more worried about saving his company’s face by discrediting the allegations?” She muttered quietly to herself as she took a sip from her Bloody Mary. Helena glanced over

“It looks like him and that other fellow know each other.” Helena said. “I’ll keep watch.” Helena said as she floated over to the crowd. Vickie’s grip on her glass tightened. Maybe this could be the chance she’d been looking for to get solid concrete against the company. Since her coworker, besides from an obvious camera crew, had a recording pen on her, maybe the pen might catch something incriminating, maybe embezzlement, tax fraud, something that really couldn’t be ignored, something that could ruin this business and its corrupt ways.

As she took another swing of her drink, she started noticing the feeling of eyes burning into the back of her head, like someone was staring at her. At first she thought it was Helena, until the ghost floated back over and the feeling didn’t go away.

“Did you catch anything?” Vickie whispered subtly.

“No, but he’s been staring at you. I think? He may be looking at your general area but he’s definitely been looking intensely at the bar area.” Helena said.

Vickie wanted to test that theory. She got up from her chair and walked around, acting as though she was merely stretching. The feeling of being watched didn’t fade no matter where she went. Even well after she sat back down in her chair. Ok, he definitely was staring at her. Did this guy somehow know who she really was, what her goals were? She didn’t think so, she’d done a good job hiding it.

By this point, the amount of people in the club dwindled down a bit, at least in the area she was in. Fame had moved to a different spot of the club and so did a large group of the crowd there. Everyone else around her were either drunk or leaving. Vickie was mid drinking her beverage when she felt someone approaching. Great, just great. She didn’t look over as she just wanted to be left alone. But alas, her luck for the night turned to be Jack sh!t as Prejudice sat down in a chair next to hers at the bar.

Vickie didn’t look over, just remained silent and indifferent as Prejudice pretty much ordered the bartender for some hard liquor. Helena looked like she wanted to intervene but Vickie signaled her not to with some cleverly hidden hand signals the two hand memorized over the course of their friendship/ her being tethered to Vickie. It was quiet for a moment, before Prejudice slammed his shot glass. He glanced over at the bartender.

“I’d suggest you take your fat ginger freak a$$ out of here before you also get a taste of what this little dumb bimbo is going to get.” Prejudice said, in this almost joking way, though she could tell by his voice that He at the same time sounded serious. Either way, it was enough to get the bartender out of there.

Vickie didn’t even have time to get up herself when she felt a hand grab her by the hair and slam her face down onto the counter. She felt her arm being twisted behind her back, the grip getting tighter when she struggled. Helena tried to help, to pull the man off of her but she was swatted away like a fly, which set off all alarms bells in Vickie’s brain. This man clearly wasn’t human.

“Now what do we have here? You know, looking at you, I’d think you’re just another dime a dozen mortal sl/t with less brains than a mutt, it took me a bit to discover what you were actually trying to do.” Prejudice said in casual voice that somehow sounded threatening at the same time. Even then, it was how he said theses things that started grinding Vickie’s gears. He said these things like he was entitled to say them, like it was owed to him.

“You may have fooled my dipsh!t employees, you dumb b!tch, but I’m not exactly as easy to convince. I know you plan on finding whatever evidence you can to ‘ruin’ me or whatever you want to call it. What, you plan on cancelling me? You seem like the type to type essays on Twitter on inequalities or whatever nonsense about equality like anyone will give a damn. At least nobody important will care.” He grinned.

“Oh go f*ck yourself you pompous little sh!t!” Vickie growled. She let out a loud hiss of pain as he twisted her arm more as a result.

“Oh, a little feisty? Good, I’ve been wanting something more entertaining than some obedient little pets. So please, go on. I’m going to break that jaw of yours either way but still, I want to hear more.” Prejudice goated on. She felt his hand slowly leave her hair and travel down to her waist.

“You know, if you really wanted to make yourself useful, doll, than you should stop worrying about whatever job you work in and start worrying about wearing something nice. You dress like a sl/t that acts like they’re someone of any respect. Really you’re not fooling anyone ” Prejudice said, the cockiness in his voice was what sent Vickie off to a boiling peak.

Using the mobility gained by his hand not being holding her head down, she stomped on his foot with her heel, as hard as possible, the man let out a curse but before he could really do much she took a shot glass from the table, spun around and smashed it right in his eye. Sure, this did result in her held arm getting twisted even more and probably dislocated, it gave her the opportunity to get free from his grasp as he stumbled back.

She then took this opportunity to start beating him with pretty much everything and anything in sight, fists, heels, a wine bottle she smashed over his head, chairs, anything in sight. All whilst calling him every name in the book, every swear and curse she could think of, hell, she was pretty sure she set a record. But even all of that didn’t really do much, not when immediately after she was backhanded to the ground when he finally got his footing. She didn’t even have time to recover as he grabbed her by her throat and slammed up against a wall, several times. By the time he stopped her head was spinning and blood was dripping from the back of her head. He then held her up off her feet, hand still firmly on her neck and then he squeezed down, hard.

She desperately scratched at his hand, tried to take gasps of air. But his tight grasp cut off her airways, leaving her attempts useless. Even worse, there didn’t even look like she laid a scratch on him, as any and all injuries or bruises inflicted on him had somehow already healed.

Prejudice’s smirk became wider as he squeezed tighter, his free hand yanking out any remaining glass from his eye.

“God, aren’t you just a fidgety little spazz? Hmm? Did you really think you could fight off a god? Though you’ve been great entertainment so far, it’s been a while since someone’s actually tried to fight me. Good to know not every mortal nowadays are p/ssies.” He spoke.

Vickie could see her world starting to turn dark as Prejudice kept talking

“Let’s just get this part over with. You WILL delete whatever ‘evidence’ you have against my company, and you’ll drop this case. If you don’t, we’ll, I’m sure you don’t have many options here, unless you wanna have a meeting with Death.” He said.

“Then, I want you to meet me in my office as soon as you enter the building. Don’t try quitting now that you won’t be able to do that little expose thing. I can ruin you in so many ways I’m sure your pretty little brain won’t comprehend. It’s alright. You don’t have to think, just do as I say and I won’t have to hurt you.. too much, sweetheart.” That ‘sweetheart’ was said in the most patronizing tone that it would’ve made Vickie said had she not been on the brink of passing out from lack of oxygen.

That was when Prejudice finally dropped Vickie, leaving her on the floor taking greedy gasps for air, her lungs burning from the lack of it. Prejudice just smirked at her once more before checking his watch. He took him longer than he thought. No worries, he didn’t have too much planned for today’s anyways.

Vickie laid there weakly on the floor as Prejudice just walked away, as if he didn’t just do what he just did. Helena by this point finally came too and quickly picked up Vickie, getting her out of the club and into her car.

“Vickie, Vickie. Don’t pass out on me, Vickie just try and stay awake! I’ll get help!” Helena said as she dashed over somewhere as Vickie fought to keep her eyes open before exhaustion finally hit and she felt her eyes close, her body forcing her to rest for the sake of recovery.

#original character #creative writing #tw violence

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suicidalcatz · 4 years

Text

Running in the rain

Pairing : Jake Kiszka x reader

Genre : Fluff / OS

Prompt : 24. “Your romanticism will never cease to amaze me”, for @langdonsluxiouslocks

AN : Hi, it’s been fucking forever. First things first, I’m sorry for my 10 months disappearance. I don’t have any fancy excuse, I just didn’t feel like writing anymore. I thank you if you understand, but I’ll get it if you’re mad at me too.I’m even more sorry to the person who kindly asked for this prompt. Sweetie I deeply apologize, my english is a bit rusty but I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Running in the Rain

It was a really strange feeling, seeing him onstage. And it was even more uncanny the way his head would suddenly raise to stare at me, eyes sparkling with joy. The girls next to me would push and scream, giggling loudly, and I couldn't blame them for thinking it was for them, while I would shyly look away in a vain attempt to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks. The truth was that Jake only had eyes for me. But they'd never know.

Some time ago, I too was on the other side of the stage. Sharing forbidden glimpses. The ghost of a touch when his hand would brush past mine across the barricade. Smiles, in the rarest moments. All those memories from a past that seemed so ancient it almost felt like a dream, slowly fading away as days passed.

It was so easy to ignore everything that wasn't Jake, even more so when he was so caught up in his solo. The melody would reach my ears, and the whole world around me would be forgotten. Whether it was the cheering crowd of loyal fans, applauding and whistling. Josh frolicking back and forth on the stage with his oh so charming smile and tambourine. Sam, letting his hands through his long luscious locks before taking a drink, making all the girls cry in awe. Danny, always the serious one, never missing a beat on his drums, even when Jake was leading and going to unknown destinations with his melodies. Even with all of this, the sounds, one by one, disappeared, except for the torturous notes escaping from the guitar. They were all slowly fading to black, leaving Jake the only one under the spotlight of my mind. And with unconcealed admiration, I smiled fondly.

* * *

- I was really surprised to see you here tonight ! You didn't text me so I thought you couldn't make it.

Jake was beaming, glee exhaling through his every pore, still high on adrenaline. He couldn't dream of a better surprise than us being together tonight, and I knew it. It was the very reason why I didn't think twice before booking a flight to see him.

- You know what day we are. I wouldn't miss it for anything.

For a second, I could see him soften at my words, and it made my heart flutter. Such saps we made... and of course Sam was enjoying reminding it to us every damn minute. Tonight, though, he made us the gift of settling for a disgusted grimace instead of a scoff, but nevertheless got kicked out of the dressing room by my boyfriend handing me a drink.

- Me neither, he finally replied, sore throat making his voice hoarser than usual.

Jake was all over me the second he had downed his glass of water, gently pining me against the wall, both arms framing my face, preventing me from escaping him. Like I'd ever wanted to run away from him. Through long lashes, his dark eyes trailed all over me, devouring me without even touching me... And I gladly returned the favor, darting my gaze on his Adam's apple, admiring the way it bobbed when Jake swallowed. Before I even knew it, my eyes were venturing further south, where his unbuttoned shirt reaveled skin covered sweat glimmering in the dim lights of the green room like caramel slowly melting under the sun, yet hiding the best parts behind those few buttons, like it was teasing me, asking me to rip them open. I licked my lips unknowingly and Jake seemed to read the mood because his body not-so-subtly pressed against mine, efficiently trapping me under his hot self, resting his forehead on mine.

- You know..., he huskily whispered, I can think of a few ways to celebrate...

I couldn't help a chuckle from escaping my throat, shaking my head in fake disbelief.

- Your romanticism will never cease to amaze me.

As his only answer, Jake shrugged, lips pursed in a comical « why not » face, and I rolled my eyes, gently pushing his torso to brush past him, arms already crossing against my chest. Swiftly, his fingers locked against the crook of my elbow to bring me close to him once again, his free hand resting on my neck, keeping me in his grasp like he couldn't physically bear for us to be apart even for a minute.

- Do you really think I had nothing planned for us tonight ?

The surprise his words caused made my mouth form a silent O and it was Jake's turn to chuckle.

- You almost had me when you didn't answer my texts, I'll give you that, but everything was already set anyway, y'know, just in case. So... shall we go ?

It was true I got a bit sneaky by kind of making him believe I might not be able to come to his show tonight but, in all fairness it was all bluff, we had planned this together. As romantic as the idea sounded, it was unrealistic to surprise someone as busy as Jake by suddenly barging in without telling him first. Even on our anniversary. The man had a life beside me, and it would've been more than right if he had planned something with the band instead. And yet, after all this time together, Jake still found ways to surprise me. It was like the magic we feel at the beginning of every relationship hadn't worn out, instead settling with us and gracing us of its spark, keeping every touch electric, every moment spent together ecstatic.

Fortunately, no interview was set tonight, and as for the few fans waiting in front of the venue, Jake was the first one to great them while I was waiting for him near the backdoor not to draw attention on ourselves. It was always fun, looking at him exchanging with fans, witnessing his astounded yet admirative face whenever he received gifts, and hugging them tightly with shared respect and love. He didn't look like it, but Jake was a very expressive guy, I had come to learn. You could always read the interest in his eyes when he spoke to a fan, giving them his full attention, and the way the corner of his lips would slowly stretch into a friendly smile when you joked with him. And thus, his joy was communicative. Like a tidal wave of delight hitting everyone around him, and bathing them in warm emotions. We often used the idiom « What you see is what you get » to sell goods, well... Jake was exactly like that. Nothing hidden, just everything laying on the surface... And I really liked what I saw. In a way that might make sense only to me, he was real.

The chilling air of Spring rised in the trees, causing the leaves to whistle, the fans to shiver, and Jake's head to perk up in my direction, checking in on me. A reassuring smile didn't stop him from saying goodbye, leaving the girls in Josh's care to get back to me. Rough fingers found mine, and we disappeared in the dark of the night to our secret rendez-vous.

The evening was quiet, Jake and I's voices chatting pleasantly, interrupting the birds' conversations, breathing in the sugary scent of blooming, just enjoying each other's company. The streets were busy, even at this hour, but it didn't matter. In fact, nothing mattered to us in this moment except the other. Taking the lead, Jake took me into a park near the venue, forcing us to get through fluffy bushes, not really knowing where our feet were going to land on the uneven ground. We looked like little kids going on an adventure in their parents' garden, with him pulling my hand with excitment and merrily shushing me when I asked questions. Playing along, I followed closer as we sunk in deeper into -how Jake called it- the wilderness, pushing aside branches from our way and letting the wild grass caress our calves until he stopped on his tracks, announcing this was the place. And oh, it was. Taking a breath in, I let him gently pull my hand so I could stand by his side.

It was the perfect spot under the stars. We were high enough to admire the city lights, a million of minuscule dots shining lightly in different colors, like a flower field that sprawled infinitely, kissing the sky on its horizon. Opening his backpack, Jake wordlessly pulled a blanket out of it, spreading it neatly in the fluffy grass, motioning me to sit.

- Are we having a picnic ?

- We are !, replied Jake with the same enthusiastic tone while freeing the sandwiches of their plastic prison. Because you know I figured- Who on earth likes fancy restaurants ? All those... gourmet dishes with exquisite flavors, prepared by renowned chefs... Nah, screw that, let's have peanut butter jelly sandwiches sitting on a plaid.

His humor never failed to make me laugh, and by a swift hand motion I slided the tupperware aside and out of the way so I could get closer to Jake, taking his fingers in mine, patting his digits softly, searching for his eyes in the almost darkness.

- It's perfect.

Even if he looked confident, and rightfully so, I felt the need to reassure him and to show him how appreciative I was that he planned this for us. His gaze found mine, pupils dancing, switching their focus from my right eye to the other, before a small smile spread across his face.

- Come here.

Matching words with actions, his hand tangled itself in my hair, pulling me into a kiss. His lips were soft as silk when they met mine, gently pressing against them before he deepened our embrace, sighing into it with content, finally getting the caress we both craved for so long. Becoming needy, feeling touch-starved, calloused palms rediscovered my silhouette, not missing anything ; every shape, every curve, fingers digging into the flesh of my hips with both want and longing, as if I was going to disappear into thin air in a second. Heat was rising to my face, feeling intoxicated by the smell of his cologne, the taste of his still sweat-salty lips, the sensation of his hungry mouth devoring mine, his fingers gripping me, kneading me like dough. I loved every little thing and his whole everything put me on fire, filling me with such strong feelings my chest felt like an over inflated balloon about to burst. That's why when a cold drop crashed on my cheek, I thought I was crying. When another landed on my nose, I thought Jake was the one crying. When the brunette let go of me to look up at the firmament, we both understood too late it was the sky that was.

By the time we were struggling to stuff all of our belongings into Jake's bag, it was already pouring, and the sandwiches were waterlogged, like sponges filled with jam. There was no point in trying to salvage them, so that's how our dinner went straight to the trash.

As soon as we exited the park, we ran our way back to the busy street, like headless chickens, trying to catch a cab, not really knowing where to go, but wanting to do it fast. Around us, people were moving quickly, passing and averting us swiftly, taking shelter in front of shops, in cafés, trying to cover their head with briefcases, purses, or, less efficiently, newspapers. After a little while, though, it became obvious that it didn't matter anymore. The rush of the first drops of rain was way past us now, and we silently agreed to accept our fate. I looked at Jake, with his hair so plastered on his head that a large strand crossed his face, almost blinding him. Black spots had formed on his jeans, progressively darkening the already inky denim. His unbuttoned shirt did nothing for him either, and soon had more similarities with a mop than anything else. It must've been such a sorry sight, the both of us.

- I'm sorry. I should've watch the weather report, he said dully.

With a smile, I shook my head, taking his between my cold sleeves.

- I don't mind. Now why bother when we're already soaked to the bone ?

As if mocking me, our so long awaited taxi passed right by us in a rush, rolling full speed in a puddle of water the size of Lake Michigan, forcing me to take a shower of muddy water. A shiver ran down my spine, aside with all the droplets of rain rolling on my skin like a cold sweat, and I looked at Jake with distress filled eyes. It only took one second for the moron to laugh as hard as he could, taking in the sight of my pathetic self.

- Oh you'll regret that, Kiszka !

We loved to play chase, but getting Jake was difficult. The boy had incredible out-of-this-world reflexes. I had long ago learnt it at my expense, when all of my attacks had been turned against me. If I wanted to catch him, the only way was to act on a whim. And that's exactly what I did. Without warning, I leapt at him, not missing the way his soles slipped on a watery sidewalk as he tried to dodge whatever was coming at him. We were laughing hard when our hands caughted each other, fighting for dominance, ignoring the hurried passersby weird looks. When Jake's slippy shoes betrayed him, I had him cornered against an abandonned shop's doorstep, relishing in the way his yelps got interspersed with excited giggles, adrenaline kicking in as I pulled his shirt out of his pants to stick my soaked sleeves to the dry skin of his hips. He must've feel the cold, cold drops slowly making their way to his lower back and thighs because Jake squirmed under my touch, desperately trying to get away from this torture, but too weakened by the tickling sensation to put up a good fight. As his only way of getting rid of me, he counter-attacked, lifting up my hair with one hand and smacking his other one in my neck, causing me to instantly squeal and tense.

We looked at each other, out of breath and jaw hurting from laughing, eyelashes heavy with droplets, rain tickling our noses, and entering our open mouths. Jake let out a content sigh, caressing my cheek to rub off some of the water.

- Let's call a Uber.

* * *

The first thing we did after stepping foot into the motel room was to abandon our drenched clothes to the ground in favor of a comfy, warm bathrobe. The second was to ease our aching stomaches by ordering some junkfood. Sitting both in the bed while switching the tv channels faster than necessary, I could see Jake sulking in the corner of my eye. It wasn't easy to realize, since he often looked completely lost in thought, but his pout had something distinctive I couldn't quite describe, and he didn't eat much. Losing interest for the torture I inflicted to the remote, I turned my head to him, calling his name softly, waiting patiently for him to speak up. There was no point in lying, I could tell the boy had something on his mind. I just hoped he knew I was here for him.

- I had planned for things to go differently..., he finally mumbled while playing idly with his food. I really wanted this night to be special, you know ?

The remote got discarded, laying at the edge of the bed, as I put my food aside and turned fully to him, sitting cross-legged, giving him all of my attention.

- What are you saying ? This is the best date I've ever had.

- Don't be silly-

- It is, I assured him. Are you kidding me ? Picnic under the stars-

Getting to his feet to put all of our trash in the room's dustbin, Jake cut me off, sighing heavily. I could tell suddenly standing up was his way of pacing, because he felt frustrated that things didn't go as he had planned. When he had an precise idea in mind, he'd always do his best for it to go smooth sailing. But alas, sometimes things just simply didn't go by the book. And it didn't matter.

- Running in the rain, eating junkfood and watching shitty tv reality shows, Jake finished.

- Yeah. With you. Which changes everything. Didn't I come all the way here to see you ? It's the only thing that matters to me.

A silence settled between us, during which Jake was processing everything I just said. His kind brown eyes found mine, and a moment later, a smile spread on his lips.

- You're amazing, you know that ?

There was an absolute fondness in his tone when the words were delivered, a sheer tenderness and gratefulness in his expression, and he took some time to look at me, as a whole, as if considering something, but all I can see on his face was adoration. I never doubted his feelings for me, and probably never will, but at times like these I knew for sure, felt how much he loved and cared for me. Now certain that our date wasn't ruined, he lit up a bit, regaining the nonchalent confidence I terribly liked about him.

- Then if you're still up for it, I have something else for you.

Choosing not to answer my silent questions, Jake left me dumbfounded as he motioned for me to join him next to the bathroom. Gently but firmly, his fingers pressed on my shoulders in order to place my body in front of the bathroom door.

- Ladies first, his hoarse voice came from behind me, awfully close to my ear.

The heat that spread on my cheek and neck where his breath caressed me didn't distract me from the task at hand, curiosity always getting the best of me. But when the door slided open, and Jake switched on the light, my brain shut down, overwhelmed by all it witnessed. My mouth opened, as if to say something, anything, but nothing came out, and Jake laughed, not having wanted to miss the expression on my face. His arms slipped around me, circling my waist lovingly, and his quiet breath tingled the back of ears when he rested his chin in the crook of my neck.

- Well... What do you say ? Still want to continue our date ? The day isn't over already.

- Jake it's- When did you have the time ?

My fingers caressed the soft skin at the top of his hands, wanting to show gratitude but too bewildered to remember how to. Delicately scattered all over the ground were rose petals, their color the prettiest, most intense red I've ever seen contrasting greatly against the bathroom's white floor tiles. Resting in an ice bucket next to the mirror was a bottle of champagne and two glasses, and Jake pushed me inside, making me walk alongside him, then taking the bottle in hand to open it.

- I told you, didn't I ? That I had everything planned, even if you couldn't make it. Now, beautiful, would you mind starting running the water ?

Still amazed by how much thought Jake put into his surprise, I did as I was told, not missing the moment my boyfriend popped the cork, making the champagne scent fill the air, and the foam pour out and on Jake's hands, until it ended up splattering on the floor.

- Nothing better than a hot bath after being soaked by rain, right?

When Jake smiled at me, handing me a glass of champagne, in this hotel bathroom filled with roses, I felt the happiest I've ever felt in maybe forever. In a strange yet terribly logical way, I felt whole.

- I didn't think I could love you more than I already did.

Jake chuckled, getting closer, making our glasses clink, his warm brown eyes watching me as if I was the most precious thing he's ever seen.

- Happy anniversary.

#Greta Van Fleet #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic #jake kiszka #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #GVF #gvf imagine #gvf fanfic #gvf fic #gvf x reader

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dhufearchived · 3 years

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@rosedha : what about ishtar's siblings ?

people will always try to turn you into a story if you let them.

the reason why is so simple : if not for the myth, she would have to talk about mama / the way she cried while holding her newborn baby (cursed, cursed, cursed, cuRSED, CURSED) the litany so similar to ancient mourners ; tearing at hair & clothing, striking her breasts, a chanted dirge which tasted too much like despair. / ishtar would have to talk about her father / a blurry picture of a retreating silhouette, how absence has always felt like a failure at being something wanted.

she doesn't remember much but she remembers children / 𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 & 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 / they were three, which was a good number, a safe number : baby was born with two hands & two siblings, so each set of fingers could hold on to one of them, and them to each other. a circle of love / she remembers that. the love. / she thinks she shouldn't. she thinks she might have turned them into stories too ; remembrance is a trick she learned late, and even herself, she cannot draw without encountering difficulties / she always imagines herself as the girl in the field - the girl walking towards home because mom always forced her to make a choice, which was no choice at all : she drove her to the end of the field in the black pick-up truck and told her, if ya wanna be difficult, if ya wanna run away, then fuckin' go ___ we don't want ya. but if home's where yer headed, ya can find th'way on yer own. / so ishtar had to choose home, a curse in reverse. bless the home that has birthed you ! a ghost walking back to its haunting ___ she did, she chose home like one chooses whatever is the opposite of death, and she thinks that might be why she doesn't want one anymore : walking towards home would be penance, would be punishment, would be her very own stations of the cross. / she is tired of walking towards places that dare to call themselves home and are stranger to her than the field & the river.

esther wasn't beautiful. esther was terrible. / she liked eating oranges. sticky hands shoved in ishtar's hair as part of a game only she knew the rules of / they weren't old but sometimes she thinks esther's cruelty was inherited ; from mother to daughter. although her violence was a sweet one, diguised as attention : she would torment her sister all day long & then spend some quiet hours with her, listening to a bad dream she had had the night before / 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚝𝚊𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎 ? / she remembers esther helping her with her hair later that day. her small childish fingers in warm water & bubbles, making sure the faint citrus scent would be washed away.

simon was neither terrible nor beautiful, he was there / sometimes, ishtar wonders if that made him the worst persecutor or the best ally / 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂 𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙸𝙲𝚄𝙻𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙻𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙺𝙸𝙳𝚂 𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝙷𝙰𝚄𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝚈 𝙼𝙰𝙼𝙰'𝚂 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙻𝙻𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃. / he watched, a silent witness in the back of the room. when he was there to breathe in his part of oxygen, mama lacked the excess necessary to scream at ishtar / so maybe he was a small mercy maybe he was a saint maybe- / she remembers mama shoving her daughter's head underwater to baptize her from sins she had yet to commit outside of the maternal mind, she remembers spitting out water for help, she remembers empty hands reaching for help (hers) & empty hands waiting (his) / a brother, standing a few steps away, silently watching / okay, so maybe he didn't care, maybe he prefered his little sister to be the receptacle of mama's insanity, maybe- / no one warned ishtar that she would get abandoned, but simon somehow heard of it, because when the girl opened her bag at the orphanage, a small book with blank pages and an address fell from it (when you're ready to come home, he wrote) / she kept it / she keeps it / she wants to burn it and never manages to throw it into the fire

years have passed / the story doesn't end / the white pages await.

she meets them later / it is september & summer is slowly being washed away ; ishtar's grief is almost as potent as her rage for the town she left behind / she thinks 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐄 and wants to yell, she thinks 𝐉𝐉 and wants to cry, she thinks about 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘 and almost goes back to her car. but she doesn't think about 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄, too afraid to summon another ghost / she doesn't know why she takes the notebook with her, and why she follows simon's writing, because home has never been that place / but maybe she likes the pain, maybe she needs it, maybe she needs to be another ghost instead of the one carrying them, maybe she needs to see mama and remember how awful that was, how grateful she is for malborne, that way she can't be mad at him for being dead because at some point he made sure she'd stay alive when her own mother didn't / maybe she just wants a reason for the ache / at home she finds simon and esther and a grave / mama's ghost, the narcissistic echo of her voice filling that house with memories ishtar thought she had gotten rid of.

esther is beautiful & terrible / when she sees ishtar, she calls her 𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐄 and pretends that the girl who wore that name didn't drown years ago / she asks her for a story & gets angry when she is served one ; she doesn't know yet that truth in ishtar's mouth is half-chewed pieces of an orange & clean fingers. / esther tells hers, and by that i mean she lies / ishtar might choose the ominous & the unclear, but esther cares too much, esther wants her truth the same way she wants her past : perfectly sugarcoated. she lies her way into greatness and pretends no one can see the grime under her fingernails. / even the accent, she got rid of. she is a collage of every personality trait she thinks might give her importance, and that might be the only reason why ishtar thinks they could like each other, if only a little : both reflections of ideals they'll never reach. / but if esther can lie, she is no fantasy ; ishtar is the best at what she does, her sister is not. she is too conceited, too enamoured with what she has, what she is ___ she can't play her part because she cares too much about her authenticity. the fire in her is untamed, it is wild, it is a spark above a withered field. (it always, always ignites) / ishtar is no fire ; girl underwater, changing like the current. authenticity doesn't matter when you've washed your self away / it is so easy to see her through the cracks, to see esther in the way she pins her hair & the way she laughs, in the way lazy syllables soon get drawled when she is having fun. / 𝚒𝚏 𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚝𝚊𝚛'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎, 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 & 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚜, 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑.

maybe that's why dad left : 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙼𝙴 & 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝙾 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙷, and still nothing in this house to end the suffering ___ just ghosts haunting the farm, haunting the fields. / maybe he ran away from home the way sinners run away from church, convinced god's not watching if you turn your back on him. maybe he thought he wouldn't leave with his past, or with his hands. maybe he thought he'd just leave ___ and that is ishtar's inheritance, legs that do not know when to quit, the profound certitude that the house you left will not follow you forever.

anyway, the point is : simon didn't talk a lot and when he did, ishtar thought it'd mean something, thought it'd be like gemstones found on exile (something worth holding on to for later. for when you'll need them. for when you'll have to see the world again, tired feet & crazed eyes) but it didn't, not really / even his gestures are empty, the way he pressed a palm on the center of her back like he did when they were kids, asking her : where have you been ?, like the touch would soothe the ache of the question / he hurts her in innocent ways. he hurts her with quiet questions, with long looks, with a hug and a forehead kiss and a, are you hungry ? do you want to see mama ? / she comes home and it isn't home, has never been, but the notebook gets filled with moments she clings to, moments she had longed for. she is seven again, shoved underwater, divinity washing over her, breathless & aching & desperate for the safety of home.

ishtar wants to leave and she tells them that / tells them she had wanted to make sure the river was real, said she had wanted to see the church and the field, said she had wanted to see the farm and the house / she doesn't say she had wanted to see them, but the way she takes the time to announce her departure feels heavier than any confession / on her way out, esther throws a look at simon and simon shrugs and somehow that hurts ishtar even more ___ the way they've created language out of habit. the first sign of a community working as one : symbols being given meaning that only you, part of a whole, can understand. ishtar stands outside of the home they made, looking through the window. / esther says, you know, and simon continues without missing a beat, we were thinking about going away for a while. wanna take us with you ? it'll be fun, and that's esther's voice, and maybe it's a lie, maybe it's a warning, maybe ishtar should've known better. but she's tired of being alone and so alone she's always tired, so she says yeah sure get yer stuff / and they leave, and leave, and leave.

it lasts almost five months of traveling around. ishtar's exile, a religious experience. when the youngest has an idea, simon smiles & esther tells her she'll never be able to pull through. you've always been too scared ___ and that too is another lie, ishtar knows it's a lie, but she hates being denied autonomy or control, so she has to prove her sister's wrong / she does. she does every time. it's a bottle in her hand, too many shots, a weird looking pill, a piercing and a tattoo, a boy's hand, another boy's hand, a girl's mouth, a long list of victims and no crime scenes apart from her body & her mind / she used to like it. 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙾𝚂. the unpredictable violence. even bloody teeth felt good when you were the one asking for a punch. / but it doesn't feel like a choice when someone else is whispering the idea in your ear / and simon looks and simon smiles and simon only asks if she's okay and if she's having fun and ishtar says yes because she is because she wants to be because admitting defeat would mean having to go and she has nowehere else.

it's a game and ishtar learned it years ago : you can't win if you think you have a chance. (simon wants a life where watching doesn't mean violence / esther wants a life where she isn't a synonym for their mother) / ishtar gave up, is giving up on this past, the pages are burning and illuminated by the soft glow of the bonfire, she smiles. / they were no circle of love. they were the triangle of it, a pyramid of abuse with someone on top, always someone on top, and the cutting edges have left marks so deep in ishtar's skin she knows her way to the top, she'd climb it with her eyes closed, she has played this game a thousand times before meeting them ___ they stood no chance.

[ and maybe family is just that. the worst in you. violence inflicted upon strangers, linked back to the home of your childhood. something to burn to the ground. a haunted house you have to abandon in order to be part of the living again. ] don't look in the notebook, don't read the words, they're lying to you. they're another prophecy you'll feel forced to fulfill : no one in that place wants you back. it's the house who wrote the words, the house with the memories of you asking for more. the greedy house. the haunted house. it needs its ghost, its sweet sacrifice.

(she leaves again) (leaves the notebook with esther & simon) (on the last page, a response to his request to come home : -turns out you can't go back to a place that never existed but i'm ready to build one now) no address to guide them there ; if it is where they are headed, they will find a way.

#HEADCANONS between my sleeping & dreaming .#drowning /#toxic relationship /#child abuse /#(mentioned a Lot so if its a trigger of yours don't open !)#im not saying someone should write them but. eya #it got so Long dont even ask me why

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delfinodreams · 3 years

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OKAY i said i would make a post about my thoughts on paper mario a while ago and im finally writing it out

ill put it under a break because its probably gonna be long-ish

update: yea this bitch is LONG

okay so overall i really really enjoyed it!! it was really solid for the first entry in the series and i could definitely see the inspiration that ttyd later took from it. one thing that i didnt know about was partners not having HP, which threw me for a little bit of a loop. partners as a whole in this game don't play as active of a role as i wouldve expected because they have so little lines but using them in battle is still very fun! another small thing but i also hadn't expected mario to be completely silent, but it later grew on me!

i'm also gonna list my experiences and opinions on each chapter so here we go!!

chapter 1 - pretty alright for an introductory chapter! i didnt find anything especially notable, apart from getting 2 partners in one chapter. navigating the koopa bros. fortress was fun, and i loved the battle at the end!! their theme is SUCH a banger i had to sit back and listen to it for a bit when the fight actually started ehe

chapter 2 - not quite a fan of this one imo? i liked the first part through the mountain, but the trek though dry dry desert kinda took it out of me. BUT the addition of my favourite partner made up for it! parakarry my beloved <3 also the cutscene where dry dry ruins rise up??? that shit was SPECTACULAR. i absolutely loved how it turned dark when it first came up, i wish it stayed like that for more than just until you entered the ruins. the boss itself wasn't too exciting for me, probably because there wasnt much of a story?? i dont know how to describe it. actually its like that for quite a few of these bosses, but its the first entry for this series, so i wont fault it too much.

chapter 3 - this might be my FAVOURITE chapter- the suspense buildup throughout the entire chapter was AMAZING holy moly!!! first through the forever forest when you have bootler ask for you, and then wandering the mansion itself. i TOTALLY thought that boos were gonna be actual enemies when i saw them floating around. sneaking around tubba blubba's castle was so so fun to do, and i legitimately panicked when you ran into him in the hall and also when he wakes up and chases you back to the windmill. i didnt actually think the heart itself was the boss, just a miniboss, so i freaked out when i left the windmill and was immediately thrown into a battle with tubba blubba. i cannot express just how much i enjoyed this chapter, seriously!!

chapter 4 - coming back to toad town with the music change threw me for a bit; i wasnt expecting action to pop up so soon! figuring out that you could actually go into the toybox was such a "wait, what??" moment for me, but like, in a positive way. it was really cool to navigate this chapter and the lantern ghost encounter genuinely creeped me out at first because it was COMPLETELY dark. the fight against general guy is also a BANGER i could listen to it all day

chapter 5 - man i LOVE the whale. just a big guy willing to take u across the ocean :^) i really appreciated how you weren't stranded on the island too, like how you were on keelhaul key in ttyd. the ravens are also funky little guys, love them too. again, the lava piranha didnt really have any substance to it BUT it was a nice fight nonetheless! when it popped up again i was shocked but i made it through!! also fuck kolorado he doesnt deserve his wife

chapter 6 - this one's formatting is really neat- one central area with lots of branching paths, which i hadnt seen in my past pm experiences! i loved the quest leading up to the big beanstalk, plus the environment was so pretty!! the little part with the sun tower popped out to me, i'm not sure why though. maybe it was the music, it was so different from the flower fields theme. at first i had actually expected to go up to the clouds earlier, maybe like midway through the chapter. i thought that would be the "dungeon" of this part, so i was a little bit let down when i realized that the fields were the majority. however, the bit of the clouds we do see is SO good i LOVE the atmosphere!! huff n puff was actually relatively easy, using parakarry and lakilester for their all-around attacks. the guitars were a nice touch for his theme as well!

chapter 7 - oh dude i LOVED this chapter. i didnt know what i was expecting when i first went into the pipe in the sewers, whether it would put me into a village immediately or if i would have to make it through some screens before. needless to say, i was relieved when it popped me out into shiver city. the whole place felt "warm" which was really nice!! i was comparing it to ttyd's chapter 7 and fahr outpost which i didn't really vibe with, so it was a nice change! the whole murder plot was also unexpected but i enjoyed the whole "whodunnit" mystery! omg as im typing this i realize just how many aspects of this chapter i love this is gonna be long,, the entire snowy atmosphere is just so PRETTY and starborn valley felt so solitary to the rest of the land, like its own little bubble. i also had no idea that ninjis were in this game so when i saw one at merlon's i was like HUH?? anyways the way up the mountain to the crystal palace kept me on my toes; i thought that was the dungeon at first! the small bit where you see madam merlar and she tells you the story of the palace really got to me i have no idea why. the music and mysticality of it all was just SO good. dont even get me started on the crystal palace itself HOLY MOLY. the whole reflection bit was SO SO clever and the moment you realize its NOt actually a mirror?? fucking magnificent. this has to be my favourite dungeon in the whole game because it has such a NEAT gimmick!! it also has my favourite mario enemies, duplighosts! FUCK the crystal king though. he stunlocked me with his freezing move because i could not get the hang of blocking it. my partners really carried me for that battle; thank god for quick change

chapter 8 - THIS CHAPTER DELIVERED. the buildup for the entire game leading to this point. OUTSTANDING. i had to sit back and admire star haven because its so pretty- did i mention i love the water graphics in this game?? it has a pixelly look but it works SO WELL. going to the ship to take you to bowser's castle really felt like a "this is it" moment. the entirety of bowser's castle was So Good, it kept me on my toes the entire time!! slowly advancing as the music got more intense REALLY pumped me up. tracks that start off with only a couple instruments and eventually add more as you progress is one way to make me go BONKERS. the one bit where you make your way outside on the bridge and the music dials down and then you re-enter on the other side to it SLAMMING you in the face- that was Great. and then the complete silence as you get outside peach's castle HOLY SHIT. and then you actually enter the palace and the music is SO EERIE and youre like OH SHIT THIS IS REALLY IT. seriously, the buildup for this entire castle is done SO magnificently. i hadn't expected to fight bowser twice, i guess it was the game's way of letting u level up One Last Time before u got to the big bad. that being said, i wasn't too worried on getting a game over since i was fucking stacked on items. but that's besides the point- the fight itself got my heart POUNDING. the effects for the star rod and the star's powers were really nice to see in action, and the little section with peach and twink was so cool! i was expecting a little interlude where you would get your stats maxed out because thats how its like in every pm game, but it was still moving :)) bowser's final battle theme fucking SLAPS. the guitar especially sounds AMAZING. you really see him as a threat here and its so badass. his healing move fucked me over multiple times- i probably ended up having to deal with double his base HP over the course of the fight.

after the fight was over and you got to see peach's castle float down with the soft music in the background, it really hit me that its done, its over. again, the effects in this game are so pretty and theyre utilized SO well for the n64. visiting toad town one last time with all the npcs was a really nice touch- for some reason i really loved being able to interact with vanna t. (chuck quizmo's toad assistant) she's ADORABLE and i will probably end up drawing her sometime :)) the credits were also something that i really enjoyed- i LOVE the ongoing theme of parades at the end. seeing everything and everyone in the game condensed into a short 8 minutes really got me, i cant remember but im pretty sure i was smiling the whole time! and a small sidenote- TOADS WITH GLOWING SPOTS ON THEIR HEAD HELLO?????? I WANNA DRAW THAT SO BAD.

the ending screen with peach and mario looking at the fireworks made me really soft and i teared up a little because i was finally finished. the addition of pop diva's solo in the track was also so touching, it was my favourite sidequest in the game so hearing it again brought up Emotions :')

one thing i wasnt sure of was if there was a post-game mode and my completionist heart was disappointed a little when i found out i couldn't advance from the end screen and was forced to reset. although not many games from this era had post-game content so i cant dock too many points for that.

the paper mario series has a fond place in my heart, and finally being able to play the game that started it all really was a special experience. it really cemented my love for the original formula and i could see many places where ttyd took inspiration from. this game really is fun, and i would highly recommend playing it yourself if you have the means!

#i just finished typing this out #i did not mean for it to get this long omg #i just have Many Thoughts #and you guys get to deal with them #i just checked and this is nearly 2K WORDS HELLO??????#paper mario #paper mario 64 #dreamy convos

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neriad13 · 3 years

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Favorite Media of 2020!

There was a large swathe of this year during which I was unable to concentrate on reading (as there probably was for a lot of other typically-frequent readers), so, as a result, I ended up listening to way more podcasts and watching way more TV shows. Not a bad thing, but boy did I read way less books than usual.

However, for the first time in a while, the amount of fiction I read was about equal with the amount of nonfiction I read. Last year’s reading resolution was to read more fiction, so...success??

I did read a lot of phenomenal fiction when I had the energy to do so this year.

Books - Fiction

The Martian - Andy Weir

This book is the hardest of the hard sci fi I think I’ve ever read. Every single aspect of it is minutely researched and calculated. The author literally wrote equations to write this book. The science is insanely impressive and yet...it never loses its sense of humor or humanity in the mix. In fact, they’re the thing that drives the entire story.

Warlock Holmes - G. S. Denning

Way early in the year I was strolling down the fantasy aisle at the library, when this cover caught my eye. I took one look at it, went “oh, this looks silly” and...proceeded to devour the entire series in a matter of weeks.

It is very silly. Especially when it’s pointing out something that was silly in the original. There’s something so satisfying about Watson immediately answering Holmes with the correct number of steps in their flat when he’s trying to make his point about how most people don’t pay attention to things like that.

World War Z - Max Brooks

Every single scenario in here could easily support an entire book. A park ranger whose job it is to contain the yearly zombie spring thaw? HECK YES. I’d read tens of thousands of words about that. A Chinese admiral who defaults, steals the government’s premier submarine, loads it up with the families of his underlings and takes to the sea for years to live in the maritime economy that has sprung up in a world where everyone is trying to escape the shore? That could be an entire movie on its own.

Every chapter was more creative than the last and as a huge worldbuilding fan, this book was so, so fun.

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

In which a queer, neurodivergent protagonist solves a mystery on a spaceship which is a microcosm of antebellum era politics! This had a beautiful, mysterious, wonder-inducing writing style and it was a joy to peer into the wildly differing minds of every single character.

Books - Nonfiction

Underland - Robert MacFarlane

In every chapter, the author visits a different hole. Basically.

It’s an exploration of caves, catacombs, mines, nuclear waste facilities and the hidden underbelly of every forest. It was fascinating. And fundamentally changed how I look at time.

Rejected Princesses - Jason Porath

After years of having enjoyed the web entries, I finally got my hands on the first book and was not disappointed.

There are the more entertaining entries, of course and the art is as charming as always, but what struck me the most were the more difficult stories. The deeper you go into this book, the more horrific it gets. The author does not hold back on the indignities suffered by the historical figures he writes about. It’s terrible...but also very, very illuminating.

The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker

This book - while maintaining all the essential information in it - could be pared down to one sentence in a sea of blank pages and that sentence would be: trust your instincts. End of story.

But in a world where instincts are either customarily suppressed or going haywire, it’s not quite that easy, which is why I’m glad there is more to the book.

I picked it up thinking “ha ha, betcha can’t help a person with anxiety who fears all the time already” and...what it actually ended up doing was giving me the tools to differentiate between real fear and unfounded fear. And did help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Fanfiction

Watch Over Me - cakeisatruth

A Bioshock fic from the point of view of a little sister who is learning how to trust and be an ordinary child again. Dark and sweet. An excellent combo.

All That is Visible - Ultima_Thule

An exploration of a minor character in a well researched historical context? That’s my jam! How did they know?? A Tron fic about what it’s like to be a female programmer in the 70s.

Graphic Novels

The Adventure Zone - McElroys + Carey Pietsch

Yesssssssss! It was a running-to-the-library type event whenever my library got a new volume in. The jokes are so good, the art is so lively and the ways in which they added the details that the podcast couldn’t necessarily get across is *mwah*

Trail of Blood - Shuuzou Oshimi

Hoooooooly shit, the art style of this one!! It’s beautifully detailed and expressive, sure, but the real draw for me was how it changes with the emotional state of the main character. There’s this sequence in which he’s consumed with anxiety at school and all of his classmates become blurry and unfocused, until they can’t be recognized as humans at all, that particularly sticks with me.

It’s a horror story about a kid who witnesses his loving mother push his cousin off a cliff for seemingly no reason and is then obligated by her to keep the secret, which is eating him from the inside out. It’s so good, guys, please read it.

Level Up - Gene Lien Yang/Thien Pham

A story about a kid who is haunted by his late father’s desire for him to become a gastroenterologist. It’s funny and touching and the ending gave me what I can only describe as a feeling of exhilaration. Y’know that feeling when something unexpected but not out of left field, perfectly in tune with the narrative arc and gut bustingly funny happens, all in the same panel? That one.

Film

Searching

This is a fairly standard thriller about a dad trying to find out what happened to his missing daughter. It’s also found footage...but not in the usual way, which was what made it so compelling to me. It’s told through the dad’s phone calls, google searches, social media interactions, news footage, security cameras and webcams. It was such a cool way to tell a story.

Train to Busan

There’s a lot that’s already been said about this movie and I don’t think there’s much more I can meaningfully add to that. Suffice to say that ya gotta take care of each other if you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse!!

TV Series

My Brother’s Husband

As close to a perfect adaptation as a person can get (barring the entire conversation in English which was...oof). I was so happy when they took it a step further and showed Kana and Yaichi actually getting to meet Mike’s family.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

I watched a lot of baking shows this year. Like...a lot. They were my much-needed comfort viewing for the year and this one was my favorite, even over The Great British Baking Show (which I LOVE). Why? Because the pastry chef for whom it’s named makes such bizarre and wonderful desserts and fosters an environment in which the competitors do the same. I’ve never seen anything like a lot of the desserts that make an appearance on this show. Every single episode was an awesome surprise and so help me, this show had better get a third season.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power

There’s also a lot that’s been said about this one, so I won’t say much more. Suffice to say: DAMN. That’s how you do an 80s toy tie-in cartoon remake.

Infinity Train

This show’s premise is probably the most unique I’ve seen in recent years. Its balance of comedy, horror and existential dread is also *mwah* I also love how much it trusts the viewer to figure things out on their own.

Primal

A late entry sliding in before the year ends! I finally got to watch the second half of the first season last weekend and it was EXCELLENT. The pacing, the brutal fight scenes, the adorable dinosaur antics, the animation, the quiet moments - *mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah*

The most emotional moment for me was the part in which the protagonists watch, with sorrow, as the rabid dinosaur who’s been trying to kill them all night dies an excruciating death.

Also it sets up a fascinating new plotline right before ending in a cliffhanger!! Another one for the ‘had better get a next season’ list.

Games

Night in the Woods

This is one that’s been on my to play list for a few years and I was so glad I finally got my hands on it. It’s like...The Millennial Experience (TM), the game. I felt so seen, playing it. The character writing was fantastic.

Prey

I don’t know why I put off finishing this for so long. I guess I wasn’t in the right alien killing headspace for a while?? Anyway, the setting is gorgeous, the alien biology is weird and cool, the ethics are delightfully murky and the interconnectedness of the station was really cool, especially in the OH SHIT moments at the end.

Podcasts

The Adventure Zone

I tried to narrow this down to one favorite arc, but found that I couldn’t do it. I love Balance for its comedy and creative energy. I love Amnesty for its drama and acting. I am loving Graduation for the depth of its world and the way in which the real story behind everything that’s happened is slowly unfurling. It’s a good podcast all around.

The Magnus Archives

Who obsessively listened to every single season while playing Minecraft in about a month? Surely not me, nooooo. Of course not.

There’s also been a lot said on this one, so I’ll keep it brief. I’ve seen things in here that I haven’t really seen elsewhere in horror. My particular favorites were the creepy psychiatric hospital in which the horror comes not from the patients, but from the denial of the doctor to believe them about their mental illnesses and every single thing related to the Anthropocene. The one with the Amazonian village made out of trash - CHILLS.

#tma #taz #prey 2017 #night in the woods #infinity train #warlock holmes #she-ra #zumbo's just desserts #a thought

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