#anyway I give some of my OCs aspects of myself that people tend to not understand so I can dive into that more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pengosolvent · 2 years

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I find myself going back to the 223 song you posted last year and I find it speaking to me all the time, or rather maybe just my OCs. I don't know if the intention was a romantic vibe of sorts, but It's resonated that way with me. I can't help but think of lovers who have spent a long time away from one another and reunite once again with an embrace. Maybe I'm wrong, but if you're willing to give a few details behind those lyrics, I'd be forever thankful for it.

I'd say your interpretation is some of the feelings in the song yes ... Sort of read more tag since long

King Deer and Bravocat are “lovers” (partners) but they become separated 223 is about King Deer's inner feelings He's generally really composed and a lot more "functional" seeming than bravocat is So while bravocat wears his ... odd behavior on his sleeve, king deer doesn't exactly do that he's a lot more reserved so 223 is a lot of feelings he doesn't tend to share at all the chaotic aspects of those feelings there is a lot of pain in relation to... trying to find a place to belong or feel cared about I wrote about this a bit on patreon a while ago, so i guess i'll try to take that and edit parts of it ---

“meaning: spoilers now for bravocats story this is the equivalent song to 224 on the bravocat album, but for king deer a big theme of bravocat's story is how opposite yet the same bravo and KD are 224 is essentially how bravo handles stress... everything feels slow motion, lethargic, not understandable but the stress is essentially.. short not that bravo gets over things quickly, but it's not really truly eliciting a reaction in bravo king deer though, while appearing calm and positive, thinks way too hard under the surface about whatever is stressing him while bravo is not very charming or sociable, and thus doesn't worry about that (or he does but not to a big extent), king deer is very charismatic and ... functional in society to put it lightly compared to bravo however, KD is very focused on always giving a pleasant presentation of himself to others when stress arises, it tends to bubble in KD. he never blows up, instead works towards doing whatever he can to fix whatever is stressing him which, in a sense is good but it can be limiting when the stress would involve him speaking up about something that is unpleasant to talk about the lyrics in english is representative of KD talking to bravo the concept of "god" in bravocats story is more so the concept of finding meaning/reason and if such a thing as meaning/reason even exists

"Believe true, and know this:

i notice your heart's remiss.

Mine is too, but don't dismiss,

what I've learned wants no kiss." KD is trying to support bravocat, basically saying "look i know you're hurt and believe me i get that cuz i've been hurt too, but don't push me away. i'm not trying to get anything out of you." the last line specifically about the kiss is referencing that neither bravo nor KD are particularly comfortable with intimacy in different ways. they are both schizoid ( I am writing from experience in different lenses thru them i guess?) and while bravo has many of the negative traits and KD more of the "functional" ones, they both recognize and understand the way the other views the world (to varying degrees) but that is still frightening in a way. becoming close to someone, and knowing that, to most people, this would mean "romance" and neither of you have a concept of it and actively fear it i still don't understand romance as a concept anyway, the point is KD is trying to encourage bravo to not shut him out... bravo can be very self isolating and self-destructive sometimes depending on what he's focused on

"I know it's not my show

and I've been last to slow my hand,

yet god is not what I have found,

and I will not devise around this. "

another remark by KD to try to support bravo this one is basically something like... "listen, i know i'm not you so i can't understand your exact struggles and stresses, and i know i'm not perfect and i've probably hurt you without realizing sometimes... but that isn't inherently a bad sign. i haven't found this concept of meaning youre looking for, i've had to make my own meaning and i won't try to sugarcoat that, but i am here for you." [...] anyway, while KD tries to be pleasant, he also doesn't like to lie or give "disney" advice a big part of bravos stresses comes from not understanding if he has a place in the world or what it even means to be alive that sounds pretentious i dont know how to talk about my stories but, KD's balance of optimism and genuine firmness resonates with bravo and tends to calm him the spanish lyrics are more... KD's stresses with himself [Translation to english] " A smile doesn't fall, like the sun never fails. It doesn't matter what I feel, or what I dream, that's just how it goes. " KD is essentially a people pleaser and he will rather remove himself calmly from a situation than confront people. he's not a pushover per se, but he isn't one to stand up for himself unless he absolutely has to. sometimes this can make him feel trapped... and its a big part of why the bravocat comic even happens KD essentially wishes he could be superman and do everything for everyone and please everyone, but thats obviously impossible.. but he still tries too hard to go for that and he also tries to lessen any bad news ... sometimes by omission entirely which is its own can of worms”

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terraeferae · 2 years

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——— basics! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Kennie! Always have been Kennie, probably always will be Kennie

PRONOUNS: She / Her

ZODIAC SIGNS: Aquarius. Fear me

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Taken for 6 years! While not married officially, we are engaged and I call him my hubby anyways.

TIME ZONE: MST -7

——— three facts! ♡

I’m a teacher! While I do specialize in Elementary School Education, I have taught older students as well. I’ve only been teaching for a year, but I’ve been absolutely loving it! It’s been a great time!

I’ve been a music player since I was 3 years old! I play the piano, the electric and acoustic guitar, the ukulele, bass guitar, and drums. I also absolutely love singing, and will sing pretty much whenever I get the chance. I’m pretty sure it drives some people crazy, but at least my hubby loves it!

I absolutely love going camping during the summer, but I have gone winter camping a few times as well. Let me tell you, making winter shelters and going ice climbing and whatnot? One of the best camping experiences I’ve had in a very long time. Or at least the most unique.

——— experience !

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2011, where I actually started in the FMA:B Fandom. I’ve been in a variety of fandoms throughout the years, all of which are on my canon multimuse right now, actually. This is my first time making an OC blog and indie world and all that. But overall, I’ve been on Tumblr for 11 years, and I’ve been RPing in general for even longer (Aging myself, but Facebook RP, anyone?)

——— muse preference ! ♡

I tend to lean more towards female muses than anything else, mostly because that’s what I’m most familiar and comfortable with. But I do have the occasional male/NB muse! In terms of personalities, I’ve found that while I do tend towards naturally good-aligned muses, I do also like the morally grey ones. This is just because I find them super interesting! Completely villainous muses for me are few and far between.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: I might not get the chance to write it all that much, but I absolutely love fluff. There’s just something about writing people sharing soft moments with one another that makes my heart flutter. It makes me so happy to do something like this, especially because when I do, the brainrot gets into my head.

ANGST: Hahaha... I write angst quite a bit, no matter where I am. But that’s mostly cause people that I talk to put ideas in my head. And I, being someone with little to no self control, take those ideas and just RUN WITH THEM. Just... exploring certain aspects just makes me looks respectfully. Plus, I do have a tendency to think of somewhat darker plots... Those ones only get written with certain people that I trust absolutely. But angst as a whole? Yeah gimme that.

SMUT: While I do tend to get quite suggestive at times, writing smut for me is relatively rare. Like, I’ll answer asks once in a while... But a full-blown thread? Those are rare, mostly because I’ll get to that point and then just... Draw a mental blank, tbh. Of course, I do get it eventually. But I do noticeably slow down when it gets to that point. Why do I do this? I dunno. But it happens anyways.

PLOT / MEMES: Give me all of those memes! I absolutely love doing memes, mostly because I can just roll with them and see where they go. To be honest, I don’t really plot all that much. And even when I do, it’s relatively little. Where to start, where to end, any big notes, and no-goes? Other than that... We leave things up to chance. Especially in anything that could be combat related. That’s mostly because I tend to roll dice to see how my muses do in a fight, and having tight plotting makes it hard to do. So I like to leave things open so that I can just roll with the punches in the end.

tagged by : @jardinae (Hehehe love ya!)

tagging : @diverse-hearts, @calamitoussoul, and you!

#Kennie Yells- OOC #About me

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transformers-fan-continuities · 3 years

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Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf created by @artsy-hobbitses!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place.

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society.

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower‘s OC Missit!) is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

#long post #gore #ties that bind #spotlight #transformers #HUMANFORMERS #transformers au #tf original continuity #transformers fan continuity #transformers redesign #maccadam #i said id post this on sunday but i realize thats a holiday for lots of folks on this site :/

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darksou07 · 3 years

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Otherlink vs Otherkin

I know what it looks like, but that's not what this post is about. I actually want to try to start to stablish the differences between otherkin and otherlink with focus on the origins instead of what can or can't be done. Meaning, this will be a post about whether your nonhumanity/fictional identity is voluntary or involuntary.

While I do not consider myself to be an expert on otherkinity and my own experiences with otherlinking might be or not be the norm, I still believe I could be able to help with some of my observations within the alterhuman community. The thing is, otherlinkers don't truly have a specific narrative and while this could be problematic if it results in elitism, it also means that nobody knows how a typical otherlinking experience is. Thanks to that, it is normal for many inside and outside this group to not know how it is "supposed to be like".

However, this isn't what this post is about. Instead, I will discuss about what it means to have a voluntary and an involuntary alterhuman identity.

Before I go for the actual topic, I will talk about another part of the alterhuman community that I used to be part of: plurals. The reason why I'm doing this is because plurals have those that were born or had traumatic experiences that resulted in them becoming more than one person inside their body whether they liked it or not. This can and usually does cause many issues for these types of systems, but with a lot of work they can become more functional and able to have a good relationship between them. These are usually called endogenic and traumagenic systems.

Then, we have those who cause their own plurality usually by roleplaying, creating stories, acting and sometimes because they truly wanted to have another person sharing their brain for whatever reason. While it is very possible for them to acquire toxic relationships inside them, this is far more uncommon because they tend to be prepared for their new headmate and actually want them to be there with them. They're called the parogenic systems.

As you can see, having the presence of voluntary/involuntary alterhuman experiences is nothing new and it doesn't make any of these experiences invalid. The headmates within traumagenic systems are as real as the ones in endogenic systems and also as much of living beings as the people living in the parogenic systems. All of them are alive and must be respected as people with thoughts, feelings, dreams, history... No matter how or why they came to exist.

Similarly, otherlinkers and otherkin/fictionkin must acknowledge who they are as real. How they came to be is irrelevant in this aspect, except for the kinds of help their communities will be able to provide.

While we don't have a clear understanding of what otherlinkers need, we know that this division is very useful for plurals. Traumagenic systems need a lot of help to deal with triggers, life stressors and their own headmates along with many other things I don't even know about. Endogenics might need some of these, but mostly to be acknowledged for who each one of them are. Parogenics actually need help on how to become plurals (which isn't something that traumagenics/endogenics have to do to become plural, they just are) and how to make sure their relationship isn't causing harm for themselves and the new person/people they are creating.

As you can see, even if all of them are composed of headmates that must be respected as real people, their needs are very different. Some of them want help to adjust to their current state of being while others want to experience the change of being singlet to being plural and to do so in a healthy way. They have the expectation that this will be a positive experience for their lives, so it is no wonder some traumagenic systems do get upset over their existence. How could plurality, a source of pain and problems, become something good for someone else?

This issue usually happens because an individual thinks that plurality = DID/OSDD and actively ignore other ways to exist as more than one person in the body which isn't always classifiable as a disorder. Similarly, we see a lot of discussion on otherkinity and about whether one can become nonhuman. The issue I see here is that many alterhumans have the misconception that one can only be nonhuman if they are otherkin. I'm here to say that this isn't true. One can become nonhuman if they are otherlinkers.

Yes, I said it. A person can become nonhuman. That's what it means to be an otherlinker. You become nonhuman.

Now, how do I know if I was always nonhuman or if I decided to become nonhuman? (Also applies to fictional identities.) This one isn't easy to determine and it might not even be too useful for you. I'd recommend going for otherkin communities if your goal is to get to know yourself as nonhuman and to otherlink communities (that actually needs more members) if your plan is to learn how to experience nonhumanity or if you want to become nonhuman.

However, if that still doesn't satisfy you, I will give a few tips on how to determine if you're experiencing something voluntary or involuntary. You are more than welcome to disagree and to give your own advice on the matter.

1. I used to experience lots of shifts in my life, had past life memories that couldn't be fully explained with my lived experiences, I have body dysphoria related to my identity and/or don't identify as human. However, I chose to call myself [insert identity here]. Am I an otherlinker because I could have chosen not to pay attention to all of that?

Alright, so you're telling me that you had been experiencing nonhumanity since way before you started to identify as an otherlinker and you didn't have much of an choice on that matter? I'd suggest spending some time with otherkin and sharing with them your experiences. Whether it is something voluntary or not, I cannot tell you. You're the one experiencing that, but what you described is a very common thing for otherkin and I believe it would be worth checking this out.

2. I used my fond memories of the past and/or induced shifts to deal with my life circumstances. Does that mean I'm a copinglinker?

Maybe. Did you always had these memories and shifts before you needed to cope with that? If you can tell for sure that you did not, there is the possibility that you are otherkin and using a pleasant part of yourself in order to deal with life. However, if you can't, you could very well be a copinglinker. Don't worry, otherlinkers also can experience memories and shifts.

3. I identify as an OC I created. Am I an otherlinker?

It's kind of a chicken or egg situation here. Did you start to identify as this OC after you created them? If so, was it something you decided to do or was it something that happened naturally? Also, what was your inspiration to create this OC? Were you experiencing very vivid images that seemed to belong to a past far away? Have you been feeling disconnected from your body and this OC's appears to match better as to how you were supposed to look? Were you inspired by something external or internal?

Anyway, these examples I stated were some that I have observed and that appeared to be more involuntary than voluntary in my point of view. While I cannot say for sure if they are otherlinkers or not, I can definitely say that they could benefit from otherkin knowledge. This isn't to say otherlinking wouldn't be useful for them, it's just that there are some signs of involuntarity that I believe to be worth checking.

If there are other examples you can think of and your fingers are itching to type about how it isn't that easy to determine if an identity is voluntary or not, then I probably reached where I wanted to go. It isn't easy to figure out if your identity is voluntary or not and it can be useless to do so. Because of that, it is my belief that it would be more useful if you tried to figure out why you want to be part of one or the other community. What are you looking for?

You see, even the parogenic systems have stories about accidental headmate creation and they're still fit for their label because they did become plural due to their own decisions. Why wouldn't there be cases of otherlinkers accidentally creating their own identities? Or why wouldn't some otherkin experience some degree of a choice in how they deal with their own nonhumanity?

It isn't my intention to blur the lines of what it means to be otherkin and otherlinker. I just wanted to let you know of two things: (1) otherkin and otherlinkers are nonhuman. (2) Figuring out what you want to do with your identity is more useful than trying to fit on either community.

I decided to create this post mostly due to some discussion I've seen on whether being otherkin can come from a choice and... Well, this is my opinion. You can be nonhuman and not call yourself otherkin. Simple as that.

#copinglink #copinglinker #c'link #coping link #othervague #otherlinker #otherlink #otherkin #fictionkin

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little-wicked10 · 3 years

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You Ain’t Easy to Love

JDM as Samuel “Rooster” Corbin (OC) x Unnamed OFC

Warnings: SMUT, bad language, slight mention of abusive relationship, super angsty at the end...I think that’s it?

Big thank you too @irrelevantwriter for helping me out with this one!

You gotta know what you’re walking into when falling in love with someone like Samuel “Rooster” Corbin. He looks like a cold son of a bitch, but there’s a heart left in that old chest of his. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to depend on them. He doesn’t want the burden. That was the main reason cowboys like him tended to roam. It was like an itch that didn’t go away until he was on the road again. It called to him, and there wasn’t anyone or anything that could keep him from answering it. I hated that I loved him because I knew any minute he’d want to leave, not being able to tolerate standing still for too long. He’d be gone with the wind and all that would be left behind is a half-empty bottle of whiskey, the smell of leather, and an empty bed full of memories.

—

I heard him before I saw him. The sound of spurs clicking and boots echoing on the wood floor. I stayed still in bed, waiting for him to come into the bedroom that we shared when he was in town. The door creaked open and heavy boots entered. The smell of leather and dirt filled the room as he set down his heavy saddle. He always liked to leave his saddle in the bedroom on days it needed to be oiled. That’s the only reason he ever brought it in here. Rooster didn’t stop to see if I was awake, he walked straight to the bathroom and turned the light on before I heard the shower kick on. I knew that mood. He’d had a bad day.

On a good day, he’d come home and kiss me on the cheek before heading to shower. Something small that would make me smile and know that he was ok. His boots thumped as he threw them off, and the buckle on his belt clattered on the bathroom tile. I waited for the sound of the shower door closing before I decided to get up and check on him. The bathroom lighting made my eyes squint as I opened the door. When my eyes adjusted, I saw him leaning against the shower wall as the water beat down on his bruised and scratched up back. My hands unbuttoned his denim button up I wore to sleep every night. I was quiet as I opened the shower door and slipped in behind him.

The war zone on his back use to scare me. Not anymore. I placed my hands on his back and traced up the tense muscles until I decided to wrap my arms around him. “You should be asleep, darlin’,” his deep voice rumbled. I ignored the comment because he said that every time I waited up on him. He hated it when I did that. Rooster never liked for people to wait around for him or do things for him. He felt an obligation to stay when that happened, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. My arms released him as he turned around to face me, a sullen look on his face. Judging by the bruise forming on his cheekbone and the cut lip, he’d been in a fight tonight with more than some steer.

“Rooster,” I sigh, reaching up to exam his face closer. His calloused hand grasped my wrist, a warning to leave the matter alone. He never talked about things like this, and I knew better than to push him for answers or details. He’d tell me in his own time, but for now, the subject was closed. The scruff around his lips tickled my skin as he kissed my palm reassuringly. My heart fluttered with love at this grizzly man being tender with me, like a baby bird that just fell out of the nest. There were times when we were rough though.

Arguments where I threw things, and we both screamed at one another until our throats hurt. Times when he came home with a crazy look in his eye, and he had to have me right then and there, taking me anyway he could get me. Whether that be on the wooden floor in front of the door or the couch, unable to make it to the bedroom.

Moments like that were usually followed by gentle kisses where bruises were left and whispered apologies. Sometimes an argument would break out and end up in hate fucking until we both felt better. Rooster wasn’t good with words, so he resorted to sex until he was ready to talk. It wasn’t always the most efficient way to communicate, but it seemed to work for us.

Please don’t ask me why I stay with him. I’ve asked myself the same question many times. Why stay with a man who can’t stay in one place? We don’t always choose who we fall in love with.

When I first met Rooster, he was at a bar after a rodeo. I had been dating a young bull rider at the time who wasn’t the kindest to me. He’d beat me and cheat on me without a care in the world because all of his buddies encouraged him and told him it made him more of a man. I stayed out of fear for what would happen if I dared defy him. That night at the bar though, Rooster beat the shit out of the son of a bitch when he went to strike me, and from that day on, Rooster and I were inseparable.

He had taught me my self-worth, that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, and I didn’t need a man in order to make a life for myself. Our relationship started out as friends until one day it just changed. He tried to tell me he was too old for me, but we didn’t care about that for long. A thunderstorm soaked us to the bone and forced us out of our clothes, and the whiskey we had been drinking earlier, made it very easy for us to throw any regrets or hesitations out the window.

Our story isn’t ideal, but it was ours. That’s what mattered.

Rooster’s lips suddenly pressed against mine, forcing me to wrap my arms around his neck. My fingers wove into the dark hairs at the nape of his neck as his hands wondered down my body slowly. His callouses scratched my back as his hands wondered up until one hand threaded into my hair, pulling my head back so he could kiss my neck. I felt him bring my left leg up to wrap around his waist and his hips press into mine.

A feeling that had me willing to fall to my knees that very second took hold of me. He chuckled into my neck feeling my knees go weak, “Not tonight, darlin’.” Rooster’s hand released me to wrap around my thighs, lift me off my feet, and press me against the shower wall. I took a moment to admire his features. His salt and pepper beard, that I loved to feel scratch my skin, smelled slightly of alcohol and smoke. His black, wet hair was slicked back, adding to his devilishly handsome look, and most likely matched the smell of his facial hair.

My admiring was brought to a halt when I felt his calloused fingers circling my clit. I moaned and laid my head back against the shower wall. My hips rutted up against his hand as much as they could with my trapped state. His teeth grazed my neck before biting into the skin. I opened my neck more, whining as he began to leave a hickey. “Baby,” I moaned, “You wanna…take this to the bedroom?” Rooster didn’t seem to hear me because he continued on his journey of leaving hickies and rubbing my clit. His finger suddenly slipped inside of me making me whimper. “You sure, darlin’? You not want me to finish this first?” I could feel his smirk against my skin.

I tugged on his hair to look at me, “More room. More comfortable. Please, Rooster.” He stared into my eyes before quickly reaching over and shutting off the water. Rooster pulled me off the wall and made a B-line to the bedroom. Dripping wet, we collapsed onto the bed. There was something beautiful about the situation. It felt like something out of a movie or cheesy romance novel where the lovers give no heed to messing anything up in the wake of their passion.

Rooster was quick to throw me on the bed before running his fingers through his wet hair to slick it back out of his face. I bit my bottom lip watching him. The bastard had the audacity to smirk and lick his bottom lip. He knew I was crazy about his long hair and made sure to take advantage of that piece of information.

“Been thinking about cutting it,” he teased.

“You cut it, you’re never getting me in the sheets again,” I threatened.

Rooster quickly hovered over me, “I doubt you could stay away for too long, darlin’.”

I laugh, throwing my head back. The witty retort I had for him caught in my throat as he took advantage of my exposed neck and sucked on the spot right under my ear. I moaned and clutched onto his hair. It amazed me how a-tuned to each others’ bodies we had become. It was like we had been created for one another; created to know the other’s body like our own.

“I gotta have you, darlin’,” Rooster growled.

I felt him take his manhood in hand and rub it against my entrance. The action made me buck my hips towards him and whine with need. That seemed to do him in because before I knew it, he was inside me. He didn’t waste anytime to set a slow and powerful pace that has my eyes rolling back into my head and my nails clawing into his back. Rooster took my chin in between his fingers, “Look at me, baby.” I pried my eyes open to look into his. Those eyes were filled with such heated passion it made me gasp and hold him closer, the need to feel his skin against mine suddenly urgent.

“Rooster...hmm...I...need you,” I whined, nearly letting slip what I really wanted to say.

Rooster replied by kissing and biting my bottom lip, “Only Ol’ Rooster can make you feel this good, baby. Right?”

I nodded my head, but he wasn’t happy with that. He halted his movements making me protest and move my hips. “Ah ah. Who makes you feel this good, darlin’?”

“You do, Sam!” I watched him smirk. I only used his real name when I was pissed with him, and I was pissed at the control he had.

He suddenly leaned down and left gentle kisses along my neck to my ear as he resumed his pace. I loved the nights Rooster made love to me like this. We savored the feel of each other skin, the sounds we made, the whispered sweet nothings, every aspect of us. These were the kind of moments I would dream about on the lonely nights he was away. I always awoke in a fevered state until I felt the empty side of the bed, and that feeling was quickly replaced with a deep sadness.

I held tightly to his long hair and kept my legs firmly locked around his waist. The callouses on his hands smoothed over the outside of my thighs until grabbing a hold of my knees to keep me wrapped around him. “I want ya to cum with me, darlin’,” Rooster grunted. His thrust picked up pace slightly as he sat up and placed one of my legs over his shoulder. The following thrusts were so deep that I nearly screamed in ecstasy.

“C’mon, baby,” he moaned.

We locked eyes. This man meant so much to me. I only wish I could tell him that. You don’t tell a cowboy those words, not unless you want him to never come back. I felt my mouth begin to form the words, but I quickly bit my lip. ‘Don’t say it! Don’t say it!’ my mind cried. My heart chanted differently. Everything came to a screeching halt when Rooster’s thumb pushed against my clit and stars exploded in my eyes. Rooster suddenly fell forwards as I felt the warmth of his release inside me. He moaned my name.

I love you….

—

The early rays of light coming through the window woke me. As I stretched, I felt my muscles cry out in pain. Lord knew I had the bruises to match how sore I felt. I stirred a bit in bed, but something felt off. Something wasn’t right…wasn’t normal. I turned over to the other side of the bed and was met with cool sheets. My heart picked up its pace a little bit. “Baby?” I called quietly. No reply.

I listened for sounds of life. There wasn’t a sound.

No rustling in the bathroom.

No pots and pans rattling in the kitchen.

No TV blaring the morning news or NFR reruns.

My stomach twisted in knots, and my heart was pounding in my ears. I quickly got up and threw on one of Rooster’s t-shirts from the dresser. I suddenly noticed Rooster’s saddle was gone. Maybe he took it out to the truck? I ventured further into the house and…nothing. Everything was where it had been left the night before, but things were missing. Rooster’s things.

“Oh my god,” my heart stopped.

I raced to the front door and threw it open in a panic. I ran to the side of the house to the drive way. As I rounded the corner, I choked on my tears at what I saw.

No truck.

No trailer.

No Rooster.

He’d left without a trace, without a goodbye, and I knew exactly what drove him away. Those three little words.

#JDM #jdm smut #jdm fanfiction #jdm imagine #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #jeffrey dean morgan smut #Jeffrey dean morgan fanfiction #cowboy #original character #OC #jdm x ofc #jdm x oc #Smut #angst #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot

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zirkkun · 3 years

Note

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

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ankhisms · 3 years

Text

the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot

the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!

1. planning

honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of

these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.

two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun

for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night

2. creating

this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.

after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.

once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!

3. posting

i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more

ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!

thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all

#showyourprocess #beep beep its a txt

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jjuzoir · 3 years

Note

hi for the matchups ?

my pronouns are she/they and i would like a male haikyuu matchup please !!

my personality mainly revolves around music, i play piano and my spotify is my love. i’m a queer woc entp 8w7 and i’m a pisces sun, aries moon, and libra rising (and aries venus) i also skate and i love traveling and going to cities. i’m an ambivert but because most of my friends are more introverted i tend to act more extroverted in situations. i act mean but i really am mostly indifferent to people. i love food, music, color theory, and watching anime - my favorites are soul eater, given, and jjk. my favorite artists are tyler the creator, childish gambino, gorillaz, the 1975, tv girl, sza, frank ocean, boy pablo, rex oc.

i would like someone understanding in a relationship. i’m not great with addressing my feelings and talking abt them and i think i would need someone to help me open up. i cant deal with liars and i need someone communicative.

i would need someone to be able to give me space. i wouldn’t mind a clingy s/o but i really like being alone and just by myself so i would need that space.

my ideal date would probably be stargazing and talking late at night after a confidence store run <33 thanks !! <33

hi!! thank you for being so patient with me (TT) i’ve been horribly busy the last few weeks;; anyway! i hope you enjoy your matchup 🤧

I’d match you up with: Tetsuro Kuroo !

- I actually was very, very torn between Kuroo and Kenma but ultimately I think you’d do very well with someone like Tetsu!

- He really appreciates your ambivert nature since he’s personally kind of like that too though often leaning into extroversion.

- Kuroo seems like the type of guy who likes to travel a lot, he likes getting to know and explore the world and different cities, so being with him would probably involve traveling around (both due to his liking to the activity and job) and tagging along. He probably also has a list of places he wants to travel to really bad, so it’s likely he’d like to take a month or two off for the two of you to travel around.

- I feel like your tastes in music would be similar

too! He strikes me as someone who enjoys the same artists and would probably ask you to recommend him some music from time to time.

- He might ask you to teach him to skate sometimes but he’s kind of lanky and might trip and fall a lot (poor boy), he’ll insist on learning though!

- He doesn’t mind your indifference towards people, he’s friends with Kenma - he’s very aware not everyone is like Bokuto or him - if anything I can seem almost admiring it since for some time, I feel like he probably really cared about others opinions on him.

- Now, Kuroo is such a sweetheart, if you ever said you needed space he wouldn’t think twice before giving you some. He’s actually very good at talking to people and connecting with them, so you wouldn’t have much of a problem opening up - even if you did, Tetsu would wait as long as you needed to. Communication is super important to him, I think you’d both have a very easy time talking and understanding each other.

- You and Kuroo would seriously be such a power couple.

- MBTI wise; you two share the same personality type ENTP, that coincidentally makes a very good couple! ENTP’s are known to value their morals deeply and tend to look for common grounds often, which means arguments are rare between both of you, though they may get heated - overall, communication between you two is very important and it flows pretty well.

- Astrology; (Pisces + Scorpio sun), (Aries + Taurus moon), (Aries + Scorpio venus)! Both of your sun’s are super compatible, both of you tend to be more sensitive to emotions and aware of each other’s feelings, which translates to a very open and healthy relationship. While your moon’s might have a bit of a conflict, Taurus tends to like routines while Aries enjoys mixing things up, with enough dedication put into it though Taurus + Aries moon couples are very creative and can learn to love and accept each other. Both of your Venus are very, very passionate so the relationship will also be, fights may be scary but your sun signs definitely balance this aspect out,

- Even your enneagram types are super compatible, seriously, I think you and Kuroo would be an IT couple!

Runner ups: Kita, Iwaizumi, and Kenma!

#—❣️ matchups!#—💕 sora’s whorefornoodles!

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albatris · 4 years

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Hi hello I hope you're doing well and getting read to sn00ze soon, STS! Saturday! Yes! Cause you're an artist and a writer, I was wondering how much the two mediums bleed into each other? Does drawing something out help you visualise it better, or do they not really interact much at all?

hello hi hey there and happy storyteller saturday :D thank you for the question!! I hope ur having a cool day B)

and even though you sent this yesterday you telling me to sn00ze is equally applicable today as it is almost every day of the week so................ yep, I’ll be sure to get onto that at some point. you’re probably going to make a >:c face at me for answering this at 3:06am

anyway! this is an interesting question! and a good one! unfortunately it may not have a very interesting answer?

my initial response was gonna be that they don’t really bleed into each other at all, but then........ nah, they kinda do

(and then about halfway through typing this draft I was like But What About Undertow, and my response became “oh yeah they definitely do”, but I’ll get to that in a bit)

but yeah! I think my writing definitely influences my art! both in the sense that I tend to draw mostly story stuff, ‘cause I like my stories and drawing is fun, but also in terms of like....... inspiration! usually I have a pretty good image of stuff in my head already while I’m writing, n sometimes this image will make me go “hell yeah I vibe with this I wanna draw it”, but the art itself generally turns out nothing like what I envision and usually takes a life of its own ‘cause I’ll just end up drawing whatever looks cool hahahaha

so I get some neat experiments and doodles and weirdness in various art pieces that definitely stemmed from story daydreams, but probably aren’t super related to the story itself in the end :P y’all don’t see much of this stuff ‘cause I mostly just post character drawings lmao

(this is bc I’m most confident with character drawings, and I will fistfight Drawing Backgrounds And Scenes in a wendy’s parking lot any day of the week)

but kinda hopping back up for a sec, one example that IS related to the story is like

drawings I’ve done that are centred in ATDAO’s unreality aren’t actually a super good representation of what the unreality is actually like? or I mean. they could be. they can be! but the drawings are centred around very literal concrete representations of glitchy weirdness

whereas in the story itself (at least to start with) there’s much more a focus on the general looming Hey Something Is Horribly Wrong vibes and, like, the unravelling and bleeding together of senses, the way the narration changes (ie the way your own thought processes slowly start becoming completely foreign to you), n just........ glitchy weirdness, but not glitchy weirdness that you can visually represent, glitchy weirdness that is canonically in the category “you can experience this and have no way to process it because a human mind is not equipped to translate it and your senses have no way of taking it in”

n then I bring the body horror in full force but that’s neither here nor there

existential terror and uncanny valley vibes r hard to draw, y’know? so the drawings mostly just wind up as me having fun with the aesthetic hahaha

but yeah, art stuff stems from story daydreams, it’s very rare that story stuff will stem from art daydreams

character drawings were something I started doing just ‘cause I liked my characters and I was vibin, but they ended up being the one exception in that they DO tend to actively inspire the decisions I make in the story itself, unlike my other art

written descriptions of people are a weak point for me, generally I’ll kinda know at least the key aspects of what folks look like, but the descriptions I come up with on page are always frustratingly vague............. n drawing them out helps me fill in the blanks and give my descriptions a bit more life and personality IMO, ‘cause I mean

there’s little things about people’s appearances that are pretty personal, little quirks or habits they have, etc, that I wouldn’t think of in writing, whereas in art they just crop up naturally

and also sometimes I’ll write a description of a character or have an image of them in my head and I’ll be like Yeah This Is Them but then when I draw them my hands will just make their own decisions

and whatever the hands create is Law and Official Canon as far as I’m concerned, I will always trust the hands over my initial plans when it comes to characters, and they have not failed me so far

and now that I’ve gone on a whole spiel about how (outside of helping me pin down character details) creating art isn’t generally something that inspires a lot of story development or daydreams, it’s time for me to completely contradict that because, like I said earlier: Undertow

this is a WIP that came into existence purely from art inspiration! basically I came up with Aster’s design on the fly because someone was like “it’s genderqueer pride day” and I was like Oh Sick Time To Make A New Genderqueer OC

most of the characters in Undertow were drawn and designed long before I had any clue who they were or what their deal was. the entire premise of Aster as a character was born within like two hours from one silly doodle. then I was like “BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD FRIENDS” so I drew some friends, who ended up being Kit and Meg. n their relationships with each other and the kind of story in which they find themselves all just kind of spiralled out from a series of silly doodles and took on a life of their own :P

I think it’s a different scenario since Undertow exists purely as a vessel for shenanigans and self-indulgent nonsense, so I was feeling a lot less pressure to be grounded and serious, I could just throw things around like “amnesiac clairvoyant delivery driver with an illegal magic crime truck” and “necromancer who doesn’t believe in magic who wants to reanimate a t-rex to honour his dead wife” to see what stuck and I had no need to be like “hm, but is that Realistic, though?”

unrestrained summer fun!

it’s easier for me to let myself daydream in relation to art when there’s none of this pressure, which I think is what separates Undertow from my other projects c:

plus Undertow is the one WIP of mine that I’ve always pictured in a kind of episodic comic format, though I lack the skill set or the patience to pull this off hahaha

as such, most of my development for it comes in the form of messing around with the artistic side of things!! as it should be, I think

anyway that’s enough from me I think, thanks for reading, have a fantastic day, hope you see some cool birds (if you do please tell me about them)

#tracle0 #sts #storyteller saturday #long post

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thesunnyshow · 4 years

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Name: Sarah

Writing Blog URL: @dreamsafterhours

Age: 19

Nationality: Korean-Australian

Languages: English, Korean, Conversational Japanese, a tiny bit of French

Star Sign: Taurus

MBTI: ENFP

Favorite color: I’ve heard red suits me well, I also like purple and blue.

Favorite food: Literally everything. I love food.

Favorite movie: Always changes with every movie I watch, but one of my all time favourites is 극한직업 (Extreme Job)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Hokey Pokey/Cookies and Cream

Favorite animal: Tiger

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?

Matcha frappe!! I prefer sweeter drinks over black coffee

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)

Screen actor/band member/author, something that allows me to manifest my creative fantasies

Go-to karaoke song

Tears - So Chan Whee

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

Time manipulation! Ultimately what we are deprived of in the human situation is time, and if I can manipulate the speed at which it goes, or visit different points in my life and beyond, I would be able to fix any regrets I have.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

Premodern Korea!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

Yes, definitely. I’d spend more time and effort into my academics and start more hobbies at an earlier age.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

A hundred horses, no matter what size, is not ideal. Especially if they want to fight you—I’ll take my chances with one chicken.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

The protag’s childhood best friend, loyal and ready to throw hands at anyone who wrongs them.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

Sure! It seems strange to think that we could be the only intelligent life in the entire universe.

If you could buy anything in the world right now (regardless of price), what would it be?

Idol entertainment companies. No more slave contracts and mistreatment ✌🏻

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I’ve never cracked a screen before (touch wood lmao), mostly because I do prefer protective cases over slimmer ones. I’m also part of a Korean traditional percussion and dance club! We put on our own concerts each year but unfortunately this year’s concert had to be cancelled. Corona really said coroNO

What fandom(s) do you write for?

Mostly NCT; I used to write for BTS and EXO back in the day, but I’m ready to leave my writing past in my past!

When did you post your first piece?

2014! I started my fanfic journey on Wattpad.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I prefer writing angst over fluff, sometimes crack if my mind comes up with something ridiculous. I’ve never written smut before and I’ve never really thought about it, but who knows? Maybe in the future.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

For fics that I post online now, they’re mostly x reader, but with original content or plots that include characters who would have a certain name (i.e. surnames) I tend to establish an OC. I’m not sure readers would engage with an OC as much as they would with an x reader fic, so I tend to prefer x reader.

Why did you start writing on Tumblr?

I love creating universes from my own fantasies, and since kpop groups provide content with concepts and visuals, it’s been so easy to imagine them as characters in an AU. Through writing I can share these little headcanons and scenes with people in the fandom and practise my writing skills at the same time!

What inspires you to write?

Leading on from my previous answer, my imagination runs wild when it comes to character traits and what I think these people would do if they were faced with a certain situation. I discuss these scenarios with my friends a lot, so I’d say the characters themselves and my friends inspire me to manifest these fantasies into words.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

Love me a good old mafia au with that angst factor. The weapons! The loyalty (and sometimes lack thereof)! the relationships! The thrill and the danger! That strange sense of second-hand excitement when we think about disregard for legal systems! Top tier. A close second is Hogwarts AUs. Something about the house dynamics and sorting people into them brings me joy.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

When readers consume my work, I hope they are able to take a glimpse of what is going on in my head. I try to use as much description as possible to make it as clear as I can, and ultimately I hope readers can appreciate the wonders of the creative mind. I write a lot of timestamps because I have so many scenes and scenarios in my head that I can’t wait to craft into a full plotline, so I’ll dump all my ideas into a specific timestamp to really get that sense of a “slice of life” style! I hope they explore all the possible worlds we can come up with.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

Discuss the topic with my friends. Keep the flow going, get some input from others. Watch some movie scenes or listen to music related to the genre to get into the feels. If it’s still not working, I take a break from it, come back to it with a fresh mind.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

The fic with the most notes at the moment is my college bf renjun timestamp, and I think I can guess why. The line “sorry, I don’t date people who pay me” was one that I came up with for Renjun from the get-go, I couldn’t see anyone saying it better than him. My favourite? I’ll have to get back to you guys on that one. I’ve never been completely satisfied with anything I write, and I think I can do better — but the ones I have the most fun writing are my mafia AUs.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

I prefer to write about people who I see in a variety of different situations, i.e. is very versatile as a character and suits any genre. In that aspect I love writing about Haechan — much like him as a performer and able to understand and pull off any musical concept, I’ve never failed to see him in any scenario with a range of different personalities. He’d make an amazing actor if he wanted to, and if I was a casting director, I’d love to cast him.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

No. Not a major one, anyway. The original piece I’ve been working on for the past 2+ years is completely original and yet I’ve set a few of the characters’ faceclaims as NCT members, purely because they fit the image of what I believe my characters would look like (for example, Jeno is the faceclaim for the prince — tell me he doesn’t give off royal vibes and I’ll laugh). This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m writing fanfiction. The prince’s name isn’t Jeno. I don’t include Jeno’s notable characteristics as a person. My writing style remains consistent throughout all my works — fanfic or original — the only thing that separates the two, in my opinion, is whether or not the author draws from the celebrity as a person (i.e. using their name, perhaps their relationships with others, etc.) and ultimately feature that celeb as a character in their story.

What do you think makes a good story?

In two words, plausibility and consistency. I don’t refer to the creative aspect of writing — go wild with imagination. Break boundaries, invent new things. By plausible I mean whether or not the choices the characters make are understandable in their respective settings. Sure, characters can do stupid things and make mistakes, sure, plot twists can occur — but can we as readers see why the characters made those silly mistakes? were they forced errors? perhaps immaturity? Are the plot twists in order with the situation and its possibilities? Is there a sound explanation behind why these choices are made? If we can’t see and understand why certain plot points happen, it loses credibility and I tend to have difficulty seeing it in my head. Also, I tend to take punctuation and grammar extremely seriously. I’m that friend who calls out grammar mistakes and repeats typos, and in my own opinion, it definitely affects the reading experience. The flow of language is definitely mediated by such mechanisms, and if those aren’t there, I tend to wonder how much I’d love it if the grammar and spelling were correct.

What is your writing process like?

A lot of the time, I’ll think of a random scenario, maybe act it out myself. Experiment with dialogue, visualise the scene in my head. Jot down a few notes, some good lines that I can come up with. Then I imagine who would fit the scenario best, taking into consideration the characteristics and dynamics I want in the scene. I’ll write out the scene in dot points, and then write it into paragraphs.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I’ve never thought about fic to original story, but I have thought about repurposing an original story to a fic! ‘Casting’ idols as my characters is always fun, I get to experiment with character traits and through this I can understand my characters better. Casting idols also gives me a clear visual representation of my characters, too! So far, I haven’t repurposed a fic into an original story, since a lot of my work isn’t part of a fixed plot. That being said, I imagine it would be fun!

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I love a good old enemies-to-lovers/enemies-to-friends trope — the initial dynamics, the turning point, the character development, the progressive trust towards each other, new loyalties, the compromises, learning to see the good in anyone — and it goes with any every genre. So versatile! I love it. A trope I can’t stand, though? Cheating/adultery. Oof. Goes against my morals.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

It means a lot more than readers might think. I value all kinds of feedback, whether it be good feedback or constructive criticism. It allows me to see what readers liked and didn’t like, and I can shape my writing into better form with reference. It also motivates me a lot! A retweet with a simple comment in the tags will literally make my entire day.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

Based on my top posts, I think the main factor that engaged readers was that they could also see the people act that way in that scene. I try my best to keep my characters realistic in that their on-screen images and personas align with how they would react to situations in my writing, keeping character dynamics and relationships as consistent as the plot sees fit. Instead of writing an idol into a plot for the sake of writing about them, I tend to plan out the scene and then evaluate which person would be best suited to that character.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

Yes, we can be. i recently read this thread and it got me thinking about the foundations of fanfic and why we write it, but then as part of that group, I can’t help but think that the genre of fanfic itself just has a bad rep of being shitty Wattpad writing with no punctuation and cheesy plotlines littered with overused cliches by 13 year olds thirsting over grown men. The fanfic world that I know, however, consists of many truly amazing authors who borrow the names and characteristics of public figures to realise their creative ideas to the point where they’re not just authors anymore — they’re artists of language. Curators of words. Some of the best writing I’ve read is through fanfic, and again — the reason why fanfic is fanfic is because the characters are based on people in real life. We share these stories amongst ourselves to imagine things outside our reality, and we consume these stories because we have our support for our artists in common. This is our method of escape. It’s not much different from daydreaming about our high school crushes. They’re just beautifully written and feature people who are part of an industry that relies on public recognition, public appreciation and public support to survive. If you think writing should strictly involve purely original characters born from the author’s own imagination with no inspiration from real live people and thus fanfic is “weird”, “creepy” and “dehumanising”, then I’ll guess you’ve never made art before, nor can you properly appreciate it.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

I think that it can inspire and reflect change, but I find it hard to see if art can be change itself. We are the only ones capable of change — art is the medium of inspiration and emotional expression. We can create art and use it as a method to raise awareness and encourage people to take action, but we can’t exactly throw paintings at the white house and expect police reform, can we?

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Yes, definitely. There was many a time I discussed plotlines with my friends and they’d said, “you hAVE to write this I NEED to read it”, or “where’s chapter 3?” and while I know they only mean well and only aim to encourage and support me, it can definitely backfire against their intentions and make writing feel like a chore or rush me into writing when I’m not fully inspired. Forced art is not the best, and whenever I do post something under that kind of mindset, I tend to be less satisfied with it and end up hating it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

Though i worry about it, I don’t think there’s ever been an instance where it’s happened. I hope it never does, either!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

Yes! I don’t mind, seeing that a lot of my friends are also kpop fans who also stan NCT. I link my writing to them when I post, and they support me a lot! It’s not the first thing I tell people when I first meet them, of course — I would only tell a non kpop fan that I write fanfic if I knew they wouldn’t judge.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Myself and other authors always, always always appreciate any form of feedback! Laughed at a funny line? Cried because of another? Felt the pain the character was feeling? Tell us! Have a comment on the writing style, or noticed a certain characteristic in our prose? Let us know that you noticed it! Absolutely dying for the next chapter and can’t wait to see what happens next? Express! (but don’t impose!) have a favourite line or completely agree that they’d totally say/do that? Point it out and gush about it! it’s hard to imagine the warm feeling it gives us as creators when receiving feedback until you actually get it! Go ahead, add an extra line in the tags, send in an ask. Make someone’s day. You’re never going to be thought of as weird or annoying. If it makes you feel something, express it (even in keyboard smash! we may not be able to read it, but we will feel it with you :D)!

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

If it makes you feel better, my writing when I started out on Wattpad was mega cringe worthy and still kept getting reads and votes and comments. Before I deleted my account, I read through it again and wondered how people can have such low standards when it comes to fanfic. Now, if there’s anything I want to tell you, it’s this — writing should be for yourself. It should be your personal hobby that you invest your own time and effort into, and it’s completely up to you whether you want to share your writing or not. It’s not a requirement. You don’t have to have published works to call yourself a writer. It doesn’t have to be amazing with flowing prose with immaculate worldbuilding with above-average vocabulary. Writing should be your catharsis, your personal medium by which you express your creativity. That should never be measured by likes and reblogs, nor should it come with an obsession over getting engagements.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

Despite the advice that I give to people and my previous answers saying that you shouldn’t be writing for others, a good portion of my motivation comes from reader feedback and engagements I get with my work, which is the reason why I applied to be part of writing networks within the fandom (for more exposure to a wider audience). As much as I don’t want to admit it, the amount of engagements I get will affect my satisfaction with the work. Some works I posted that I personally really liked didn’t get nearly as many notes as I was hoping, and then I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. In that sense, I’m still glad I get to share my writing on Tumblr — but the side effects of it affect me a little more than they probably should.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

I’ve only posted NCT fics on tumblr for a short while (maybe a month?) and so I don’t have many mutuals, but the few I have gotten into contact with are all lovely and always willing to rant about anything, despite most of them being in different timezones!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in the human situation.” — Graham Greene, Ways of Escape (1980)

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

#@dreamsafterhours #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode11 #nct

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skekzok-the-ritual-master · 4 years

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Out Of Character Questions

ROLEPLAYER GET TO KNOW YOU PROMPT

Tagged by: @hedonistschambers

Tagging: @ask-skeksa-the-mariner, @allpowerfulemperor, @asktheornamentalist, @askurva-thearcher, and anyone else who wants to :)

OOC About Your Character(s)

1. What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

I used to RP on Tumblr a lot in the Megamind fandom, and seeing other Dark Crystal RPers on here made me want to try getting back into RP a little. Since I don’t have any Dark Crystal OCs who lend themselves well to RP, I decided to go with a canon character, and skekZok was a prominent one who hadn’t gotten a blog yet. I’ve always liked looking at characters and thinking about what makes them tick, so this gives me a fun chance to do that for him.

2. Describe your character(s) with three words.

Cultured | Sadistic | Hypocritical

3. What made you decide to write this muse?

I’d been following the blogs of a few other Skeksis RPers, and the absence of Zok had been remarked on. Since he’s one of my favorites, I decided to make a blog for him and join in the fun.

4. If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

That’s a tough one, because Zok really doesn’t suffer that much in canon compared to other characters. I might stop ZokZah from trying to burn out part of his soul, but skekZok wouldn’t exist and there wouldn’t be much of a story if I did that. (If we include the JM Lee novels, I’d change it so he doesn’t throw skekSa under the bus.)

5. If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

“Don’t stab the blonde Gelfling girl. It won’t prevent the prophecy, and she’ll just come back to life anyway.”

6. If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

I’d love to see his reaction to a Swiss Army knife.

7. If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

I’m not sure how positive this is, but I’d take away his ability to believe his own lies. It would be interesting to see how he tries to juggle all the conflicting rules and stories he’s come up with over the centuries.

8. If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

His talent for speaking in public. I wish I could command an audience like he does.

9. Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

Considering the kind of things that tend to make Zok happy? Maybe. As for what would make him happiest, he believes it would be achieving immortality and remaining one of the highest-ranked of the court and having skekSa as his permanent mate, but that still won’t heal the spiritual emptiness inside him. Much as I enjoy Zok and Zah as separate beings, I do think reunification was the best thing for them. If he and SaSan could have been together after that, that would have been even better.

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

I don’t mind angst in small doses, as long as I plot it out with the other player(s) beforehand and we agree how it will turn out in the end. Zok doesn’t lend himself easily to angst, but losing his place in the court hierarchy or having one of his allies turn on him would do it. He’s also come to genuinely believe the mythology he’s invented over the centuries -- anything that seriously challenged that worldview would be hard for him to deal with.

11. What do you love about your muse?

A lot of things. His charisma, his striking blue eyes, the way his voice is deeper and smoother than most of the other Skeksis, how over-the-top his gold outfit is, how he’s so attached to his headdress that he doesn’t even take it off in the spa, how unrepentantly creepy and sadistic he is -- he’s a very enjoyable character, even if he is a horrible birb.

12. What do you hate about your muse?

He's not an easy character to have interact with everyone. He can pretend to be nice when it suits him, and he’s not totally incapable of caring about people, but he’s still nasty enough that I can tell in advance a lot of interactions wouldn’t go well.

13. What about your muse amuses you?

The contrast between the austere image he tries to keep up, and how frazzled he gets when something upsets that image (”MY CARRIAGE!”). Also when he gets sarcastic or looks down on the others when they act in a less-than-civilized way.

14. What about your muse makes you sad?

All the people he’s hurt, and how unwilling he is to see that his way of life isn’t sustainable and won’t truly make him happy in the end.

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

“This guy is a creep, but he believes in good manners. Tread lightly, and you should be okay.”

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

LOL no. He’s an awful person who is best left in the realm of fiction.

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I like to think I’m a much nicer person than he is. I can be blunt and a bit of a troll sometimes, but I really don’t like hurting anyone, or trying to force people to do stuff they don’t like. As for Zok, he’s much more confident and well-spoken than I am, and he’s had the determination to stick with one job for a thousand years.

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

We’re both interested in culture, myth, and history, and feel better when we can assign some order to the world around us.

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

As I see it, the core of Zok’s character is that he wants to bring order to the world; that’s why his job title is ‘Ritual Master’ rather than ‘High Priest’ or something more overtly religious. If he can’t see an obvious reason why things are the way they are, he’ll invent one that makes sense to him (and serves his needs).

I think this is what Zok sees as his most important trait too -- in his mind, he took a bunch of feral newborn creatures who (by all rights) were never meant to have existed in the first place, and helped turn them into a civilized, godlike people who rule an entire planet. But that feral nature is always under the surface, and they still need ritual and order (and yes, punishment) to keep it in check.

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

I haven’t been playing Zok for very long, but I’ve recently had a chance to write how he feels about deeper questions, like what it would mean for Skeksis to have children, and what happens to Skeksis and urRu souls after they die. I think it’s made him a bit more three-dimensional.

About You!

1. What is your name?

Kate, a.k.a. Crow or Lady Stormcrow

2. What is your profession?

Social worker, currently working in substance abuse treatment.

3. What do you do to relax?

Watch favorite TV shows, play video games, listen to music, hang out outdoors, chat online.

4. What is your favorite treat (desert)?

I have a big weakness for flan and other custard desserts. Also caramel.

5. Favorite movie

Amadeus (1984).

6. Favorite book

Good Omens (and yes I loved the series too).

7. Favorite vacation spot

Grand Cayman. We were supposed to visit again this spring, but COVID happened.

8. Favorite Disney movie

I’m not sure I have one favorite, but I love Fantasia and The Rescuers.

9. How did you first get into role playing?

Almost 20 years ago, lol. When I first started going online in high school, I made an online friend ( @ksclaw ) who introduced me to the concept. We played interactions with our SWAT Kats fan characters, and she helped me get the hang of it.

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

It was Livejournal. I discovered Tumblr in late 2011 after my friends in the Megamind fandom introduced me to it, and most of us migrated here from our old LJ community. I loved being able to reblog whatever struck my fancy, and while my interest has waxed and waned, as you can see I’m still here.

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

I like to think I have pretty good grammar. I know I’m guilty of run-on sentences, though, and I overuse ellipses and mix up ; and -- far too much.

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Not really. I can speak and understand a little Spanish and French, but not enough to write anything meaningful, and I’m wary of translation software for anything beyond a short sentence. Sorry!

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

Sometimes. Usually not when I’m doing the actual writing (that’s distracting, and I like to hear the words in my head), but I’ll listen to it beforehand to get myself in a mood or get some inspiration.

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Late morning after I’ve had my coffee is usually my best time. Unfortunately I’m usually at work during that time, but on slow days and weekends I try to take advantage of it.

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

It turns me into a zombie who can dream but cannot actually write.

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Lack of motivation. I daydream and imagine stuff easily enough, but putting it down into writing is much harder, especially when I’m braindead from work.

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

More than 5 is daunting, though fortunately Zok hasn’t gotten that many yet.

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

Players who are unwilling to have their characters be in the wrong, or who get upset if my character doesn’t react the way they wanted. Not all interactions are going to be smooth and happy, and I’m fine with that. Your character is not you, just like mine is not me.

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

Weird ones. I like having my muses react to them.

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

Fluff is kind of tricky. I don’t have trouble imagining it, but I get paralyzed thinking “this is too indulgent, I shouldn’t publish it, no one but me will like it, etc.” Maybe that’s part of why Zok appeals to me, because he’s not the fluffy type.

#ooc #writing

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blarfkey · 4 years

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director’s cut, director’s choice of ⭐️Dear Fen’Harel⭐️? (Though generally speaking, I’m intensely curious as to how you develop characters because everyone you write is so brilliantly layered)

So um, this exploded. And I apologize. I am very much a character-driven writer versus a plot-driver writer. Also, how I develop characters is not a process I think about, it just happens, so this is also me finding out for myself how my own brain works, haha. If you want the full fucking three page essay this turned into, there’s more under the cut.

If not, and I don’t blame you, TLDR: I break a canon character down to their parts based on what I see in-game, I look at how their personal quest affects them, and I try to find a modern day equivalent to that. Each character has an issue they need to get past and I create situations to challenge those issues. And Ellana was created to be a foil for Solas and I dumped all my negative traits into her because neither she nor I can afford therapy so this is our best bet.

First of all, developing characters in fanfic is different than OC characters because I have a pre-set personality to work with rather than making someone from scratch. So for this, Ellana’s development is different from the rest of the cast.

For fanfic characters, obviously I look at the source material and see how they’ve reacted to certain situations and what they have canonically expressed about themselves in both deed and word. Honestly, I pay more attention to what they have DONE versus what they have SAID because a lot of characters tend to fool themselves into thinking they’re one way when they’re not (here’s looking at you, Solas).

Because DF is a modern AU, I take what I have seen in Canon (which is a lot because Bioware is very good at giving so much material to work with having all those different dialogue trees) and I apply it to the Modern Day. Some characters fit very easily – Dorian was made for Academia. Krem seems a more modern character anyway with how he constantly roasts Iron Bull. Josephine’s prowess in DA:I translates very easily to political science. Varric kind of has a modern writer’s career anyway.

Some are not easy – Solas is actually super hard for me to write in DF than he is in Thick as Thieves because so much of his characterization, his world views, his prejudices, are rooted in the fact that he is an ancient being out of time – which is impossible to have in this AU. I have crafted a sort of back story for him that might explain some things later, but it’s flimsy at best, haha.

So I’ve had to really look at what Solas is like in Inquisition when he’s pretending to be a “normal” hedge mage hermit from nowhere and how he behaves in his romance and extract from that. Solas is a nerd, he’s socially awkward from self-imposed isolation, he constantly struggles with what he wants and what is the morally correct thing to do and the temptation to be loved usually wins out over his convictions until the last second when he gets his common sense back and ruins everything.

It helps that in both DA and DF Solas is keeping a massive, massive secret from the Inquisitor about his identity that will shift the power balance between the two, so I’ve used that to guide me when I’m unsure. He still feels off to me, but it’s whatever at this point, lol. I did my best.

Once I’ve boiled a character down to their usual traits, I figure out how I’m going to have them grow throughout the fic and use their growth to help Ellana’s growth. I try to pull from their personal quests as much as I can, when I can get it to fit.

Some people, like Iron Bull, are static because they’ve already gone through their journey and have reached acceptance. I didn’t really know how to work his Leaving the Qun story line in the modern day, since it is tied so closely with war and potentially killing the Chargers, so by the time Ellana meets him, he has already left the Qun and made his peace with it. I use his static nature to help guide Ellana when she’s conflicted about her identity.

Some people, like Josephine, have personal quests that don’t fit with a modern era but I want to show them grow anyway, so I create something else for them. Right now, Josephine is mired in family drama and trying to figure out how to balance shouldering the weight of her responsibilities to her family with being her own person. That I drew from my own personal experience with being the only sane person in my family with their shit together, haha.

Or Cassandra, who is definitely NOT going to be Divine here, lol. So instead she gets to struggle with her art and how she can express herself in a way that leaves her vulnerable to scrutiny and yet can be so freeing.

Some people, like Krem, get a character arc that I think should have been explored but never was. Krem being trans is something that’s mentioned and talked about a little and never explored. I mean, he’s not a main character, so I get it. And I liked that Being Trans wasn’t his entire character. But there was no way to put him in the modern AU without his trans identity impacting some of his story and growth, even if he had already made his peace with it.

Now, I will say this upfront: I am not trans, and I haven’t had the opportunity to be close friends with a trans person, but I have done a lot of research on what trans people have said about their own experiences, and combined this with other research I’ve done over the years with other minorities and tried to put together what could be lingering insecurities for him and how he could overcome them.

I’m definitely not saying that I’ve done this perfectly and I’m always open to any trans reader who would give me correction, but being trans was not an aspect of Krem’s character that I wanted to ignore just because I wasn’t familiar with it.

I will say that his romance with Josephine was Not Planned. It just kinda happened and I happily ran with it, haha.

Varric’s arc with Bianca is just wishful thinking because I hate her so so much and Bioware just dropped that bomb in Varric’s lap and then just lets him keep holding on to it and it’s bullshit.

The other character journeys are just ways to explore vulnerability in them that I didn’t think got enough attention in the game or I think they could realistically have even if it wasn’t in canon. Like Dorian dealing with his father. Now, in the game, Halward doesn’t have a disease and he dies unexpectedly. But I wanted Dorian to have a realistic reason why he would reach other to his estranged father in this AU and a ticking countdown to an inevitable death seemed right.

Now we get to see Dorian really struggle with this new-found connection with his father that he always wanted to have and now it’s temporary and heartbreak is inevitable and is it still worth it to him? I think Dorian has similar feelings in Trespasser when he found out his father was murdered because he still invested himself to rebuild a lost connection, only to lose it so soon after.

Zevran’s past with the Crows is also something that I really wanted to explore because in the game he is sad for a hot second and then moves on with the Warden and his newfound goal of destroying the entire Crow organization. So I wanted to see Zevran struggle with his inner worth, the fact that he can’t hide forever and his past puts his loved ones in danger, the fact that he can even HAVE loved ones and how it scares the shit out of him. I wanted to have a character who puts on such a good front about not giving a shit about anything to hide how very deeply afraid he is. We are going to see more of this also before the story is over, lol.

Now, Ellana. Like all original characters, Ellana has a lot my personal experiences tied in her. But I originally created Ellana to fill a need for a type of character that I wanted to see with Solas and don’t really get to. I mean, I have not scourged the corners of the internet to find it so I’m sure there are other characters like her, but I haven’t found very many.

I see a lot of very beautiful, very delicate and feminine, very kind and gentle Disney Princess kind of Lavellans. I see a LOT of them. And I don’t hate that necessarily. I mean, Josephine is all of those things and more and I adore her and I sort of crack ship her with Solas anyway, in the secret recesses of my heart. And I love seeing a female character who is the epitome of a “weak” female use those “weak” traits to succeed.

But I am also not very beautiful, I am NOT delicate at all, I’m not gentle. I am not anywhere close to a Disney Princess or a Josephine. And it was disheartening to see Solas romance all these Ocs that were nothing like me after a while because it kind of gave me the message that someone like Solas, a character that I admire and def have a fictional crush on, would never want someone who looks like me or acts like me. That even with unlimited freedom in creating a romantic counterpart for him, I saw so much of what society already reinforces as an ideal that I will never match up to. It doesn’t help that Bioware’s body diversity for elves ranges is nonexistent.

So I made Ellana for me. Not because I want to hate on other Ocs or prove that mine is superior, but so that I would have something that I connected to. And I wanted to explore a dynamic with Solas that I didn’t get to see very often.

So when I first imagined Ellana, I wanted her to be strong and tall and muscular and powerful in a way that makes a lot of unenlightened men uncomfortable. I wanted somebody used to manual labor and dirt and the outdoors and solving problems with their fists and just totally unrefined because I wanted her to be the complete opposite of Solas. (So like Cassandra but in elf form, haha).

I did not want her to be soft or conventionally attractive at all. Ellana doesn’t shun femininity, because I don’t think femininity is inherently wrong, but she is uncomfortable with it and she doesn’t indulge in it.

(Just FYI I am NOT built like Ellana at all either, haha. This is the wish fulfillment part of the OC. I greatly resemble the dwarves, which is why I love them so much.)

But I also needed her to have a reason to leave home, and to have some points of commonality with Solas, so I made her a nerd. A jocky nerd who is insatiably curious and stubbornly independent. And then because I wanted Ellana to feel like a real person instead just a wish fulfillment fantasy, I needed her to grow. So I gave her all my complicated anger issues, my bluntness, my struggles with homesickness, the way I compartmentalize negative events in my life so I don’t have to deal with them just so they can bite me in the ass later, my experiences of going from a lifestyle where all my needs were met and I was oblivious to how great I had it to living with serious poverty for the first time.

And then I devised situations with her life and the other characters where Ellana has to confront these issues and learn to accept them and either move past them or learn to control them. Sometime she gains wisdom and imparts it to people like Sera or Dorian when their struggles come up. And her biggest challenge has yet to arrive, so she’s still cooking, so to speak. Ellana still has a long way to go before she really reaches maturity.

As far as her relationship with Solas goes, I wanted her to challenge him and give him a total upheaval everything he thought he knew about his own culture and his own self. And I wanted him to do the same for her. And then when all the pieces are done falling, they have grown into two people who can handle being together.

So that’s basically it. If there is any character in particular you want to know more about or why I made certain decisions, always feel free to ask!

#asks #dear fenharel #my fic

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fcarher · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: slug / ellie Age: 19 Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Yunaeisha Adynora, other demons from my lore Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Yunaeisha Current Fandom(s): None really Fandom(s) you have an AU for: Naruto, PKMN, Magi, Gangsta, OPM, MHA, Hazbin Hotel & currently working on an ATLA verse My language(s): german, polish, italian, english Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: highschool, modern & fantasy/medieval

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?: YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?: 24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?: IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: the best way is just to straight up approach me. most often than not, just liking a post is not enough because it’s too vague ?? like if i post an idea & you like that, i’ll still be hesitant when it comes to roleplaying or approaching you because, while i appreciate such gestures, i’m just too anxious. therefore, plopping into my IMs without a properly fleshed out idea is also fine ! it, at least, gives me the hint that you’re actively seeking interaction. however, just saying “i want to roleplay & plot !” won’t cut it; at least, have something in mind, please !

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: basic ideas & pouring their heart into plotting! i don’t mind waiting, at all, so if you’re busy, don’t worry about keeping me waiting; i completely understand since i’m also often busy with work or university. but !! please don’t only come to me with the statement: “i want to plot!” it’s not gonna cut it & it’s not gonna help with a proper interaction, at all. if i approach someone, most often than not, i have SOME sort of idea in mind. but yeah, being passionate is the most important thing!

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: most often than not, the conversation will die down because i will loose motivation; i don’t like it because i’ll feel like a bother & i shouldn’t feel that way when it comes to a hobby! therefore, one-sided plotting is one of my deal breakers; i usually end the conversation & there will be little to no interaction happening. like i said; i don’t mind waiting, i just hate that feeling of coming on TOO strong when my plotting partner delivers no input.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: often than not, i start off with rather simple question like; are you interested in a certain verse ? do you already have something in mind ? if not, i will go through their about page & ask them things about their character & how that could possibly bring our characters to interact. sometimes, the about pages of a muse cannot give you every single bit of information; muses grow & change with each thread, therefore, it’s often better to just ask the people about their characters ! & from then on, it often just comes naturally.

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread is not THAT important or vital for our character’s relationship; i don’t mind & won’t need to know if the thread is dropped. sometimes, if it’s a heavily plotted thread & i’ve anticipated the interaction a lot; i’d appreciate a quick heads-up from my partner that they’re not feeling that certain thread any longer; i don’t mind that !! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: they don’t need to tell me; SOMETIMES, it’s just a nice gesture but most of the time, i don’t care, we can always start another thread !!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: many things can lead to me dropping a thread; just losing motivation, having no muse for a certain genre or simply having the feeling that my partner is not liking it, any longer (ex. extreme lack of trying to match the reply length ). my health & my schedule can also, sadly, affect my motivation, so, more often than not, i tend to drop shorter threads & keep longer ones. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: i get anxious really fast if people stop replying for a very long time, out of the blue. it has happened to me once before with a good friend with whom i have no contact with any longer due to miscommunication & them not trying to communicate the issue with me; therefore, yes, it is very important. i wanna know if something is bothering you; i wanna know if you like something very much; i wanna know what’s up ! we’re humans & we’re adults; we can talk about this. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: yes ! as long as it is constructive criticism & not straight-up bashing my characters or lore; i’m all for it. i don’t mind hearing negative things; in fact, i appreciate the honesty & it gives me room to work on myself & my writing ! - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: building relationships that LAST & exploring my muses through & through; it is amazing how much yuna has grown through interactions with others; how different she has become from the yuna i once started out with; it’s almost been a year now & it’s just amazing. however, i’m not stopping anytime soon; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO EXPLORE !! the ultimate goal is for me to just look at my blog & be completely proud of what i have accomplished & written; i want fleshed out relationships & threads; deep stuff !!

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: yuna talking with someone about her struggles; mentally & physically. being open about her abusive father & how it has traumatized her & painted men in the worst picture one could imagine. HOWEVER; a hard thing because i don’t want these things to be pre-est or something; i want a thread where there is struggling, screams, conflict ! it is rather hard to find someone, though, who is willing & fitting to go onto that long journey with me & yuna. also, i’d love to write about darker stuff; i love fluff, though, sometimes i sure want a bit of that, too.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: the only things i won’t rp or explore are stated in my rules; ex. pedophilia, rape & really descriptive animal abuse. killing, torture, gore as well as cheating, heartbreak or toxic relationships are okay, while i do prefer to have a deeper bond with someone while exploring the latter & be communicating the whole time; i think these are really REAL topics & that’s why i wouldn’t mind exploring them because it does happen, more than one would like them to happen. however, if i see you, the mun, glorifying or romanticizing these; just no.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: i like everything with some sort of substance; i love short ones as much as long ones, nevertheless, you have to give me something to work with. yuna would ignore anyone not of any interest or value to her; therefore, if your muse just asks her random questions, the interaction will go nowhere. if you’re unsure; just ask !!

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i love characters with uniqueness to them; it can be a certain interest, certain appearance or their species can be totally unique to them; i’ll love it ! i do have a thing for villains, though; always had, even when i was young 8^) so, dark, stubborn & “evil” characters catch my interest far more than a really nice muse who just is all smiles all day. i love a muse that can kick mine & yuna’s ass, basically. someone with strong morals or who is just really set on their beliefs can also offer conflict which i ADORE !! i need it; i live for it !!

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: really kind & unbothered muses who are self-sacrificing, perfect & loved by everyone for no reason ?? idk, i just think it’s bad writing. everyone has flaws; no one is perfect !

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: i am a very open person who will talk with you about anything & is keen on exploring our character’s relationship at all times & through all means; i often send my rp partners prompts in form of my yuna just being her dumb-self or through memes ! i will constantly think about our characters & will try to have them interact as much as possible. i am, most of the time, very active & respond to the threads fairly quickly ! if i am totally invested; you’ll get everything you want; a moodboard, an edit, a drawing, etc. i literally pour my heart & soul into every bond my muse has; i live for them. oh !! i also love asking people question about their characters; i just love learning new things about them !!

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m very slow out of character; i don’t approach muns a lot because i’m scared to be a bother, working on it ! i often ramble a lot & my writing can become a bit convoluted & hard to understand, i apologize ! i tend to not message people on discord as often as i’d like to; mostly because i’m really socially awkward or just don’t think that what i want to show to them is THAT important. i’m not as straight-forward as i wish myself to be; however, even with all that; i still have a lot of fun & am acknowledging & actively working on my weak aspects !

Do you rp smut?: YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: often, it is because i want to develop the relationship or yuna’s character; she’s a very sexual being who hardly connects to someone emotionally; therefore, writing sex & exploring the vulnerability behind it can be really beautiful ! though, fun is also involved ! - Anything you would not want to rp there?: non-consensual stuff is a no-go ! also, certain kinks that make me uncomfortable are also off the table; ex. anything involving bodily fluids other than spit.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: i love the conflicts the most; clashing ideals or just two stubborn muses arguing for the heck of it is really fun & can develop the relationship beautifully ! yuna is a person who likes someone that can be properly fought with, verbally here. but of course, i also adore the very soft moments!! i love meaningless fluff; it warms my heart. - What is your smut tag?: SINFUL.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: nothing TOO drastic; a friendship, a rivalry is a-okay ! however, i’m very hesitant when it comes to having pre-est. romantic relationships; though, you can quickly change my mind if you pour your soul into the plotting; then i’m fine with it ! everything that needs time when writing also needs time when plotting; don’t just straight up jump into something if you’re not able to give it your all.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: i think yuna is a person with whom it is easy to form relationships with; it takes a bit of time but due to her rather drastic ideals & opinions; anything can be founded within seconds. she doesn’t hold back when it comes to her honesty & conflicts will arise. also, for all muses with demonic or deity backgrounds; being a daughter of the literal queen of hell, though, also harboring fragments of a god’s soul makes her unique in the supernatural world which can spark interest with your character or even they can develop an ill-will towards her ? i think it’s really interesting exploring what makes one work & go on & yuna has the philosophical potential to tickle that out of your muse; she question EVERYTHING. now for certain plots; one-sided love or even friendships are always really interesting, especially when she is the one having such feelings. other than that; she has enormous & dangerous powers; so if you’re into character or world-building; can offer that as well !

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: humans; she doesn’t approach humans who are just kind & have nothing to offer for her, the least she’d do is have sex with them or kill them to harvest their life energy. i’m sorry but she really does hate all of humanity & to change that opinion ? man, you must be the most stubborn person ever. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: characters who are of supernatural or demonic nature; she’ll be very interested & even nosy to a point. also, very attractive characters who are not afraid to speak their mind; she’s really superficial most of the time & will flirt with anything that she deems good-looking. muses who have ideals that contrast hers or that are similar to her but also, generally, people who are open-minded.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: sex, parties, plants & flowers, astronomy, writing, demons & hell, the underground scene, killing, knives & playing the piano - What do they desire, is their goal?: the questions that bother her the most are; why did her mother had to die ? why would nobody help her while she was being abused by her father ? why was she kept alive by her sisters ? is there love out there for someone like her ? what do these strange visions mean that occur almost every night ? she has a lot of things she wants to experience & wishes to have a normal life once she has killed her other mother, lilith, which is her ultimate goal, at the moment. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: their appearance; the scent of their blood & if it differs from humans; how they react towards her & what they do in front of her. - What do they value in a person?: strong opinions, loyalty, good looks, humor, strength (not limited to physical strength) - What themes do they like talking about?: herself or the world & the state of it; she likes being philosophical with some, can often be somewhat self-centered; THOUGH; it is almost always for her to see how they would react to that.

- Which themes bore them?: love & drama; she does not care a lot for gossip or anything relating to it; the topic of love, no matter in which sense, is always brushed off because she just doesn’t find any appeal in it.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: Being the reason her own mother committed suicide; Her father & sister abusing her all her life, spouting lies & beating her until she could stand no more while her other sisters would watch & do nothing, even though, they were supposed to support each other; laewa, one of her sisters, fancying the idea of killing yuna for the greater good; two of her best friends turning on her when they find out she’s not human & then being killed right in front of her eyes; her one & only boyfriend protecting her from a demon hunter & being killed in the process - What could possibly trigger them?: loud sudden noises; making fun of her attachment to her late ex-boyfriend, being awfully nice to her, the sight of any dog or wolf, tender touches (esp. her back being touched), being alone with her thoughts for far too long - What could set them off, enrage them?: people who make fun of her & her powers; calling her a monster; not understanding her pain when she opens up; purposefully touching her back or any other scarred skin, being nosy - What could lead to an instant kill?: you are a demon hunter that does not show remorse when killing demons with a consciousness, trying to kill her, killing one of her comrades

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: Keela Adynora, Myra Adynora (Father, Sister), the other D.O.L.s, EYES’ superiors (the organization she works for), Humans, Lilith - Is there someone /-thing they love?: Evelin Adynora (Her biological mother)

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: If you’re not quite human or are a demon, you could literally stand next to her & be silent; she’ll become curious on her own. other than that; be interesting or flirt with her; just do something that does not involve small talk; she hates that. - Where are they usually to find?: strip club (her workplace), bars, clubs, clearings within a forest, nice areas that are full of trees & plants; a roof-top

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: Yuna is basically pandora’s box personified; she may seem nice & attractive from the outside but within her are sleeping demons that only wait to be awakened. & withal, she is still a cutie who will become your number one supporter & protector if you manage to build a proper relationship with. it’s hard to get through that shell & what awaits is NOT that pretty but with years upon years of abuse, neglect & shit being thrown her way; it’s not easy being a carefree immortal.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar , i srsly love these so much, snow !! thank you for tagging me <3 i had so much fun 8′) Tagging: @thevvolf ; @nezumi-vc-103221 ; @empiia ; @dvojakyvlk ; @childrenxfthemoon ; @hensetsu ; @goldempire ; @animatedatrophy ; @talonness ; @shikkotsunin ; @wcrthlessanimal & anyone else !!

#˗ ˋ † ᴏᴏᴄ ﹕ slug arrived !#˗ ˋ † ᴅᴏꜱꜱɪᴇʀ ﹕ the things that were left in this life i call mine !#( ajsjas u dont have to do this ofc !! bUT IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN!! )#( also thanks again now !! i really liked this one 8) <3 )

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lcnguor · 4 years

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

Mun Name: Mik Age: 26 Contact: IM, discord, smoke signal, whatever.

Character(s) I rp: Nora, Spike. Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nora, most likely Current Fandom(s): Fandomless Fandom(s) you have an AU for: pretty much everything I find around and hop on. My language(s): spanish, english. Themes I’m interested in for rp: Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: modern without supernatural, I do have some fantasy set up but eh.

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: ask, IM, discord, singing telegram, smoke signals, messeger pidgeos -- whatever dude. I will most likely talk and ramble a lot, I do like plotting and I squeeze my brains out to think in ways to rp with ppl. and I really suck at approaching others. really...

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner: Ideas and somewhat more enthusiasm than me. I tend to shy away or feel very much awkward right off the bat if the person approaches me with not much to say or give. And honestly, some people really intimidate me because I am too hard on myself, so giving a bit of a pat on the back makes me relax more. I deal with a lot of anxiety and I know people run away the second I show it.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?: Mostly when I am doing the talk or coming with ideas or looking generally more interested. It takes effort for me to get on things and actually do stuff but if it’s not the other way around I end up thinking they got bored of me. I am one hell of insecure person. As for what I do, if after many tries of trying to reach another person and end up feeling rejected or ignored, then ... I stop. What’s the point of insisting if the other person would just be awkward or not spare you a word?

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?: well, I usually ask first what the other thinks or have in mind, if nothing, I either suggest or start brainstorming with the other person. I know some who have dealt with me at first I seem like a dettached person but not having ideas really makes me feel like I have not much right to talk. I want to give yet without impossing or letting it twist my arm. I know for a fact nora’s lore really doesn’t help shit for most things.

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread was meaningful and we were really into it , then I would ask but as for the most, I don’t really bother with it. Sometimes people just lose muse, and even if I was enjoying it, I don’t have the right to force someone or ask why they stopped. thread dropping is normal, i guess. - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: whatever they want. telling me or not is up to them, I don’t really mind. RP is not something SUPER serious like it should be just perfect. I try to convice myself of this a lot.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?: either because it was old as fuck, I couldn’t find muse or because it was lost in the void of tumblr’s amazing tracking system. - Will you tell your partner?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you? YES / NO. - And why?: if I do not have some idea of who am i rping with and what they have in mind, then it’s nearly impossible. being purely IC is really uncomfortable and could lead to a lot of misundertandings. - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?: yeah. mostly yeah -- I mean, I will feel bad, I do have feelings, but I will take it with water. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way? YES ( but I will feel bad anyways ) / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?: connect with others, ramble a lot about characters, have fun. I’ve been rping since i was 12 ( back then it was not big deal your age apparently ) and having to connect with other people by making these plots and stories and just having a fun time is something that brings me joy. There’s so much that can be done. And exploring my muses with other muses influences is really helpful to fill the holes left due indecisiveness.

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios: I wish people joined my lore more. Having muses that could be in the same story department as Nora in particular, would be hella and inspire me more. There is so much I have. Explore nora’s power is also something I want but it’s hard -- it’s very invasive and not many would really like it, feeling it’s meta. For now, I don’t really have other muses and Spike has her little crew outside tumblr.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: umm, it’s hard to think in something in particular. But mostly stuff that collides with nora’s story/character. but there is a lot I am willing to explore.

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: casual starters are my fab. It’s easier to figure out how to go or stop and think. plotted ones also work. as for what I dislike or cannot work with, things that force my muse to not act how they would? not giving me something solid is hard to handle.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: I really like out of the norm muses, something that you see and say /oh , look at that/. Aesthetically, story wise or personality wise, something that goes out the usual troup most would use. I do have a guilty pleasure for opposite to my muse characters --- something that would really show the contrast with one another.

What type of characters catch your interest the least?: Very basic ones? or those who try TOO hard to be special. A character that doesn’t fit in the context they are in, esp. in fandoms. HEAVILY divergent characters that just basically turn them into OCs. I know I sound like a bitch but I am the type who respect canon and the actual author behind the character too much. Also those that I don’t know much about? as in, the fandom never managed to catch my interest or smth in that line.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?: I know where is the line between fiction and reality. And that what your character does it does not reflect as the person you actually are. I am pretty laid back and I understand people’s views and reasoning. idk. I draw a lot if I am super invested ?

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I am super sporadic and can go from being super active to flat out dead for weeks. my mood swings a lot with the amount of attention I get, as horrible as it sounds. I am very anxious as a person for reasons ( not IRL mostly, just bad experience from previous partners ). I promise a lot but do little? honestly I will just bad mouth myself if I keep writing this.

Do you rp smut?: YES ( tho mostly on discord ) / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?: YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?: both? - Anything you would not want to rp there?: ehhhh, idk -- i don’t do as much to know what I don’t like here.

Are ships important to you?: YES / NO / RELATIVE. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?: YES / NO. Do you use read more?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?: the very nature of human relations. I am talking about Nora big time here -- there is a lot to explore in her relations and how she reacts and acts towards someone is very very contextual. How much she fakes, how much she is sincere, how much she struggles or how relaxed can be. force her to show her real self, which is very hazy even for her as a task. Be very poetic deep and also very shallow. I particulary see her as a character that REALLY depends on her relation with the other muse -- but generally speaking for any of my muses: I love to explore them as a pair and as individuals. - What is your smut tag?: the unfamily friendly. ( new tag (?))

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: Anything? I am open to anything honestly. As long as it makes sense.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?: Anyone who is denying their feelings, are peculiar as an individual or anyone who needs an insight of themselves and the world around them. Nora is a mentor type of character, she is here to be a support and help others explore themselves and learn. Also if you are a minor, she will most likely try to get close to help -- one must protect the good sad kids.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?: Stubborn, very fixated with things. Who would not open themselves to other perspective without thinking someone is trying to change them. Also she would struggle a heck lot with psychopaths and sociopaths, or anyone that “doesn’t have a face” for her. - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?: Curious people, struggling ones, kids in general -- people that are willing to listen to her opinions and try to improve in a positive way. Also those who are quirky in a way.

- What interests your Muse(s) in general: rabbits, literature, interesting people, the unknown, learning, relationships of all natures. - What do they desire, is their goal?: Live long without letting her particularity ruin her -- for her kind nobody makes it past the 50s and she wants that , to conquer her ability and prove that even with something like she is ( they are ), it’s posible to live and be happy. have a family of her own, yeah she is that cheesy. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?: Their actions and the emotions that they are carrying on their back. - What do they value in a person?: sincerity, willingness, enthusiasm. - What themes do they like talking about?: a lot of phylosophic stuff, deep topics -- as well to casual things of life. about people and society. - Which themes bore them?: excuses and avoidance -- people who are willing to drop everything and give up.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?: the attempt of suicide of her mother. and the successfull suicide of many of her peers. - What could possibly trigger them?: any sort of threat or violence towards someone who does not asked for it. esp. her peers and family. - What could set them off, enrage them?: Immoral ones. Those who are willing to stomp on others just to success in their goal. - What could lead to an instant kill?: is not killing, but touch a hair of her family and you are done. same for her friends and protegees.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?: gorgers, suicide, her tired face. - Is there someone /-thing they love?: her family and dear ones --- to a fault. rabbits or anything related to it.

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: any way is okay as long as is not threatening. - Where are they usually to find?: during the night, in the streets -- during the day is either her workplace or her house. maybe a park near her apartment/location if she is feeling stuffy.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?: she is not a good person , she is willing to manipulate people and is constantly trying to impose her morals. but she is also very sensitive even if she doesn’t show it --- Nora does look tired for a reason , and one of them is because she cries a lot .

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar Tagging: @batoushoujo , @obtainedloss , @lorddiiavolo , @evanesense , @sunpierce , @necrotrigae , @maljefe , @ethaeria , @calpio , @veiliisms

#mik talks #ᴍᴜɴᴅᴀɴᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛs » misc.

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lostinanimage · 4 years

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Do you mind me asking about your writing process? How do you get into the midst of the characters so well? I'm just asking because I really love your writing.

I don’t mind at all, but this might get long. (Spoiler alert: It got very very long. No one is ever going to ask me this again.)

I do have a very different process when starting something that’s fanfiction as opposed to something that is mostly or entirely original characters. (My checkplease fiction is somewhere in the middle but more toward the original fiction process because it’s almost entirely original characters.) I’m going to go with my fanfiction process because I’ve been posting 911:Lone Star mostly, but if you want more about my original stuff, let me know. I’m not sure which fandom you’re from. <3

First off, my fanfiction ideas usually come from gaps in the show or a changing something (like Carlos’s job) and blending from there. Because 911: Lone Star tried to cram so much into 10 episodes with way too many characters and emergencies on top of that, they *expected* viewers to mentally fill in some blanks. (Though they may explain those blanks later, it’s still something that’s expected at the time.) Filling in these blanks is what tends to inspire me to start writing fanfiction. (Which is why my checkplease stuff is mostly OCs. I like Jack and Bitty, but we knew so much of their story already. Telling Kent’s story gave me more space. Playing with how Jack dealt with switching teams gave me material for him.) For Lone Star (and some for 911), I honestly feel like I have a huge advantage when it comes to writing these characters. For Carlos (and Eddie), I’m a Mexican queer person from Texas. (For Eddie I did a big move away from my family—to California at one point even.) For TK, I have recovered from an overdose and I have mental health issues. I was relocated because of these things. I’ve lived in Florida (Majan) and Chicago (Paul) and I’ve spent so much time in NYC that I have 3 exes in the city. Someone from my Lone Star fic recently decided to read my checkplease fic as original fiction and quickly discovered that Lone Star is basically just a show made up of tropes and characters I like to write anyway. I also have friend who developed schizophrenia in his early thirties. (Sadly, he was a black man in the south so he was killed the way many black men with mental illnesses in the south are killed.) I still do lots of research, but definitely not as much as I would have to do without all these things. That said, I’ve watched so many parts of the episodes over and over again. Except for the failed dinner scene—which is hard for me to watch, I’ve probably watched every single Tarlos scene over 20 times to pick apart the way they look and move and interact with each other. It gives me a base to grow from. I’ve probably watched the entire series in full (muting that dinner scene lol) over ten times. For the My Salvation series and Tunnel Vision, I’d usually pull up the episode in the time I’m covering and at least watch pieces of it to remind myself what all the characters were doing. This also helps refresh me so that their voices stay in character. When switching between 911 and 911:Lone Star, I’d put on any random episode for at least a little bit to make sure I was back in the right mindset and not, for example, writing Bobby with Owen’s voice. The only character I don’t have to do this with is Judd. I lived in Texas for 18 years. I can write Judd’s voice immediately with no refresher. Jim Parrack (actor who plays Judd) grew up an hour from me and is only 2 years older than me. I’ve literally attended an event at the school where he went to high school while in high school at the same time. Thanks for hiring an actual Texan, Lone Star. Never met him as far as I know, but I grew up with people talking like that. I’ve been to Austin multiple times. I think one of the easy traps to fall into is misusing the advice to “write what you know.” Lone Star for me is a very good example for that because I just outlined how much I know about the facts surrounding these characters. But my actual personality and life history is not like any one of them. I’m divorced, but I don’t think Owen reacts to his divorce like I would. I’ve overdosed, so I was able to know how TK would feel physically, but I’m not like TK so it writing that meant asking “okay, how does *TK* react to this physical feeling. I’m a queer Mexican from Texas, but my personality is almost nothing like Carlos’s, so I can put in facts from my background, but I have ask how Carlos reacts to those things because he’s not going to react the same why I do.

Also, because it’s been a hot topic lately, don’t write what you don’t know. If you’re not Mexican-American and you can’t develop this very complex knowledge for how your use of Spanish changes according to your life situation, so don’t try to write it in. No one will miss it. I love writing Paul, but there’s a limit to what I can write about him being trans and black. That’s okay. I just won’t write him as well as a black trans man, but I might write Carlos and Eddie better than that person. And seriously, don’t write Judd and Grace with a Texas accent if you have no experience. People will only notice if you get it wrong. Still do a lot of research so that you have some ideas in your head! And then don’t actually try to use it. I know that sounds like super-weird advice, but if you’re writing a different culture, that’s my best advice. There are so many traits that make up each character. For example, I can put in aspects of my background when I’m writing Eddie, but I’ve never personally served in the military, so I don’t highlight that part of his character. Also, since I’m here, people who have never done sex work should stop writing it and stop using imagery around it when writing sex scenes. It’s annoying and almost always wrong. Stop. I don’t outline and I make almost no notes until I get to the point of a verse being so big, that I have to make a timeline to keep everyone’s ages in line. I’m not there yet for my Lone Star fic. All kinds of notes and character things do just kind of stay in my head. It’s hard to explain, but that’s how it is. I write almost entirely chronologically. To be fair, I started writing fanfiction at age 14, I graduated with a degree in creative writing. I published my first book in 2009. I’ve always done this many things in my head. My characters were likely not always this well-formed. However, a lot of the character work I do in my head can totally be written down. If you’d like, you’re welcome to pick a character and I’ll write out a full character sheet with what’s going on in my head that influences how I write a character. (For any of my OCs, I could do this. For 911/Lone Star, I could do Eddie, Buck, TK, Owen, Carlos, and Judd the easiest.) One of the things I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about while writing Tunnel Vision is exploring what my different back story would change about Carlos. He’s purposely less closed off because in my opinion he learned to shut off emotion even more as a cop. I think this is evident in the show not just in the police station scene, but also in the finale when TK sort of ends the relationship. There’s no way he’s that okay with it, but you can see that he’s prepared himself for that response. (As opposed to the dinner scene where you see more emotion because he wasn’t prepared for that rejection.) As a teacher, I feel like he’d be a bit more open and better at communication, so I’ve made those little changes. That said, I think it’s obvious that dialogue is my jam. This is why I have to stay so, so far ahead of posting to be able to edit my own stuff. I write quickly and I leave out words and my brain will correct mistakes unless I step away from a section for at least two weeks. I also envision things so clearly in my head that I need that time away to realize when I need more description or when I need to use names instead of pronouns, etc. Sometimes I’ll add dialogue in editing but usually nothing major. One of my favorite things about writing fanfiction is that I can put out all kinds of extra scenes and points of view. I actually have some of these things for my published works just sitting in extra files because I’ve needed to write other points of few to get the reactions right. Anytime I write half a phone call, I always have the other side written somewhere. Anyway, wow this got really long so I’m going to stop rambling. Clearly I don’t mind asks like this is. Lol. I’m still almost completely quarantined and my girlfriend is out of town. Send me all the asks you want. lol

#my fic stuff #begin again fic stuff #911 lone star #tarlos #ask me things

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