#anything about it and so even when jihyun is reaching out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

back2bluesidex · 2 years

Text

I Fell First 05 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performances. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader, only a little bit of mention of Fuckboy!Seokjin X Reader (ft. Jungkook, the protective best friend)

Theme: Angst, pining, lowkey smut, Hoseok is repenting

Warnings: Strong language, mentions of cheating, alcohol consumption, jealous Hoseok, another heavy argument.

Word count: 5,074

a/n: We are approaching towards the ending .......

Series Masterlist

Previous chapter

--------------------

I exited the club with a ton of feelings in my heart and with a thousand of thoughts in my head. I tried my best not to break down on the road and keep myself collected until I reach home. But I couldn't. Pain and anguish burnt me alive. Watching Hoseok with Somi was fine now, I had grown accustomed to it. But whatever happened tonight was hard to digest. Hobi's apparent jealousy was confusing itself but him questioning my love for him was the thing that ate me up. He was the one out of everyone who knew how much I loved him and he out of everyone was the one to question that. It killed me. I was angry with him, but I was angry with myself even more. I was angry for giving him so much power over myself when he clearly had nothing for me in his heart. I had had enough and my determination to move on was now my aim. I had to move on, I had to eliminate the power he had over me. I knew I would still love him but no more of this one-sided pining. I had suffered all the pain on my part now it was time to look forward to a fresh start.

I broke down as soon as I reached my apartment. I crouched down on the floor, hugged my knees and cried as if there was no tomorrow. I couldn't think of anything other than his insulting words, him questioning my love for him. It was painful to the point that I thought I would faint.

My phone dinged signaling that I received a notification. It was an unknown number.

Unknown number: "I hope you have reached safely. Sorry, I couldn't give you a ride but I wanted to."

Unknown number: "I don't think you deserve the pain you have been suffering. You deserve to be happy to be loved. And I want to help you out by at least distracting yourself from the pain.

Unknown number: "And I am not saying all these because I wanna sleep with you. I'm not that much of a creep. I genuinely want to help you out and get to know you more in the process."

Unknown number: "Sorry, I heard your and hoba's conversation."

Unknown number: "oh and it's Jin. Before you ask, I asked Jihyun for your number. Have a good night. Don't cry too much. Sleep well, sweetheart."

Jin's words felt genuine, and I knew he was being genuine for real. I sent him a quick thank you and ended that night crying in my sheets.

-----------------

It was Sunday and I had nothing to do, so I showed up at Jungkook's place and cried my eyes out again to him. He knew how much hurt I must have been as I wasn't the type to cry easily.

However, to my surprise Jungkook agreed with Hobi and said, "Hoseok wasn't right for most of the part Y/N. He is definitely an asshole for questioning your love for him but he wasn't wrong about Jin's part. I mean I know you're all grown up and have your own life but still getting drunk and hooking up with a famous fuck boy isn't a rational way of revolting."

"First of all I was not drunk and Secondly I wasn't actually going to sleep with him Kook. I was just having some fun. I cleared it out to him that he couldn't take me to his bed. And you know me well. I wouldn't do anything like that. Plus Seokjin isn't a creep. He only sleeps with the girls who give him their full consent." I replied to him.

"I know Y/N but still it was risky. I'm kinda thankful to Hoseok for dragging you out." Jungkook said as a sigh left my mouth.

"But…" Jungkook mouthed again, "why do you think he was jealous? Especially of me? I mean I can still understand that Jin is his friend cum shareholder and he wouldn't approve his employees being fucked by him. But what about me? Why was he jealous of me?"

"Trust me I don't know. He confuses me so much." I replied.

"To be honest, I thought he got jealous that day. I mean he gave me his fakest smile possible. I ruled it out but now listening to you I feel like he has something blooming in his heart for you. Something he himself doesn't know yet. He clearly got upset after hearing that I gifted you the dress. And then the entire Jin thing happened and he lost his cool." Jungkook reasoned.

"Don't say just anything Kook. Anyway, not that it's my business. His girlfriend should take care of it. Set me up on some blind dates. I desperately wanna move on." I said. My phone dinged again and I took it up to see a message from Jin.

Jin: "If you don't have a plan today, should we meet?" I saw Jungkook peeking at my phone and then sending me a glare.

"What?" I asked him. "Why is he texting you? You didn't tell me you exchanged numbers?" Jungkook enquired, narrowing his eyes towards me.

"We didn't. He found my number out somehow. And there's nothing to be suspicious about. He wants to help me out with the moving on part Without sleeping with me." I emphasized the without.

"Oh really? Then are you meeting him today?" Jungkook placed one of his never ending questions.

"I think I will but I don't think you will let me." I replied, eyeing him.

"No no… it's your life Y/N you sure can meet whoever you want." He said with a smile.

"Really?" My eyes sparkled at his agreement.

'but…" Jungkook said with a smirk and I knew I celebrated way too early. "I'm gonna tag along with you." He said with the sliest grin possible.

---------------

Me and Seokjin decided on having lunch together and he sent me the location of a restaurant. Jungkook didn't even let me ask Jin if he could come with me or not. I saw Jin waiting at the reserved table as I walked to him. He gave me a sweet smile and then his eyes fell behind me on my best friend.

"Hey, I didn't know someone else was joining." Jin said without dropping his smile.

"Ah… I'm sorry I didn't get to ask you earlier. This is my best friend Jungkook. He is a little protective of me so…." I was cut off by Jungkook, "So I don't allow her to meet strangers alone otherwise it's absolutely necessary." I eyed Jungkook and he just mouthed a little "what" to me.

"I can totally understand." Jin said, "can you guys wait for a bit? I'll just ask the waiter to shift us to a table of three."

Me and Jungkook waited while Seokjin made the needed arrangements and soon we three were shifted to a better table. At the end of ordering, Jin opened his mouth to talk, "First of all, I'm really Sorry Y/N. You and Hobi had a fight because of me. I really didn't know he would react that way."

"It's okay Jin" I said with a small smile, "it is not your fault, neither it was mine. I don't know what pushed Hoseok to behave that way. Not like I am his girlfriend or anything" I sighed.

Jungkook was silent listening to our conversation but soon he joined too. "He just couldn't bear seeing you with someone that wasn't him. He was even jealous of me when we have nothing other than friendship. And this guy did things to you in front of his eyes, and made him react that way." Jungkook said, eyeing Jin with disgust.

"You're taking his side again, Kook?" I asked Jungkook, narrowing my eyes to him.

"I'm not taking his side, Y/N. I'm just thankful to him for NOT letting you get into something you would have regretted later on." Jungkook breathed out with a sigh as he again eyed Seokjin with god knows what kind of rage.

Seokjin chuckled at Jungkook's reaction and said, "I know you're probably hating me right now but trust me Jungkook, I wouldn't force her into doing something that she didn't like. I might be a pervert but I am not a rapist. There were times when I drove my female friends to their houses without laying a finger on them. And that is exactly what I would have done if Hoseok wouldn't interfere that day." Jungkook just nodded, not being totally convinced.

Soon the conversation took twists and turns and landed on Hoseok. Surprisingly enough both of the male agreed on the fact that I should now focus more on myself than Hobi. As the time passed by, Jungkook and Jin started to get along too well. They started having conversations on football, games, future planning, blah blah blah and I sat there being clueless. By the end of our time together, I heard Jungkook referring to Jin as Hyung and I knew he liked Jin more than enough.

"It was nice meeting you again, Y/N. And you too, Jungkook." Jin said, patting Jungkook's shoulder.

"Same here Jin." I replied.

"I didn't think I would say this to you but I actually liked you hyung. Liked you much more than Hoseok to be honest." Jungkook said and the three of us laughed.

"We should meet again, it was really fun. And Jungkook, stop by my house someday. I need a partner to use my PS5 to its full potential." Jin proposed. Jungkook's eyes glittered at Jin's proposal. "Sure thing." He replied.

The day went well and obviously very unexpected. I didn't really think Jungkook and Jin would be getting along so well but it happened anyway. At the end of the day when Jungkook dropped me off at my place he said things I didn't imagine him saying after he sided with Hoseok against Jin.

"The biggest reason behind me liking Jin is because he is very honest. He honestly admitted whatever his intentions are with women. It takes a lot to be honest. If he really likes you he wouldn't give you mixed signals, something you have been receiving a lot from Hoseok. I am not saying Seokjin can be the one for you, rather I will still ask you to be cautious with him but he can be someone who is capable of distracting you from Hoseok. He can play the role quite well. You should first be distracted and then think of moving on. I'm with you too. We'll end your suffering together." He flashed his infamous bunny smile before driving away and I knew he was right. But, I also knew my heart had a one track mind and that would only beat for that one person no matter how hard I try. Moving on was never easy, not when he asked to kiss me the previous night. But still I could try to avoid him. I should just accept the fact that he would never see me more than a friend no matter whatever the way he behaved. He was probably just being righteous. His male ego was hurt seeing me with someone else, when he was the one I loved. It's a common psychological behavior and it didn't mean he had something in his heart for me. Even if something was there, it would be purely sexual and not emotional. I sighed to myself and marched my way towards my apartment entrance but just then the vibration of my phone halted my steps. I picked it up to see the devil calling me himself.

I cursed my luck, just when I decided to stop this one-sided pining, he had to call me. I picked it up and voiced a little "hello" before his low voice from the other side settled in my ears.

"Can you turn right?" He said

"Huh?" I replied being utterly confused and then turned right to see him standing under the light post at a distance.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked, fumbling a bit.

"I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I couldn't wait till tomorrow. Can you spare me a minute?" He asked as I looked at him and he looked at me. Our figures were clear to each other, voices rang in each of our ears but yet he felt so distant. More distant than when I only used to be a fan. Seeing your idol from up close really changes a lot of things. Isn't it?

---------------

Hoseok never visited my apartment before, not that there was any need. However, due to official necessity my address was added to my portfolio. Probably that was how he got my address, that was what I concluded. I gestured to him to sit on the couch of the drawing room. He sat down while scanning my ever-so-simple home. I could see him getting distracted with the pictures that were framed and hung on the wall. The biggest picture was of me and Jungkook at my graduation ceremony and just beside it there was a picture of him. This picture was from when he secured a permanent job as an assistant choreographer. He looked at it, dazed. I tapped on his shoulder and passed a glass of water to him.

He looked at me with those brown orbs and parted his mouth, "Y-you have my photo too?"

I let out a dry chuckle, "is that a big deal when I literally have a tattoo of your name?"

He dropped his head and looked at his expensive sneakers, "I don't really deserve all these especially after the way I behaved last night." He sighed, his guilt was probably eating him up.

"I… I am really sorry Y/N. I know sorry won't mend anything but I just wanna let you know that I didn't mean whatever I said last night. I was an asshole and I don't even know what got me so worked up. I didn't mean to be rude with you. If you don't forgive me I completely understand." He apologized followed by another long sigh.

Tears welled up in my eyes. His small voice, down face and evident guilt in his features were enough to send a pain to my core but what hurt me more was his confession. How nonchalantly he said that he didn't know why he behaved that way. I was ashamed of myself for thinking he would say that he was jealous seeing me with Jin. Somewhere there was a hope which indicated a probability of me being something more than his friend cum fan cum employee to him, but I was wrong for another time.

Blinking my tears away I said, "Yeah, you should be sorry for questioning my love and calling me desperate." I sighed and sat down on a chair near my kitchen island, "I accept your apology but I hope this never happens again." I looked directly in his eyes while he mirrored my action. For a while none of us said anything. We were too lost in each other's eyes until I tore the gaze and looked away.

"I was worried about you last night Y/N. I'm not excusing my behavior but I just wanted to protect you." Hobi said in a low voice, still not looking away from me.

"I am an adult Hobi, I can take care of myself. And Seokjin is not some wolf that you would have to protect me from." I replied.

"You were drunk."

"No, I wasn't drunk. I was a bit tipsy but I was quite in my senses. Whatever happened between me and Jin, had my full consent."

"Y/N, you know his reputation well!"

"Yeah I do but his reputation doesn't establish him as a rapist or a creep. Whatever it is Hoseok I neither have the will nor the energy to argue right now." I huffed, I was quite irritated at this point. Hoseok kept his intense gaze on me.

"Saw Jungkook dropping you off… He gave you good company I guess."

My eyebrow furrowed at his comment. I didn't even want to think about the things he was referring to.

"Yeah, we three had fun."

"Three? Has your girl best friend returned from the US?"

"No. By three I meant me, kook and Jin"

"WHO?" He abruptly stood from the couch with blown out pupils.

"Seokjin. Why?" I asked calmly.

"You were hanging out with him today after what happened yesterday?" He walked over to the place I was seated in. I stood up as well.

"And you're again slipping into your yesterday's character, Hoseok. Stop it already." I couldn't contain my frustration anymore and glared at him.

"God! Y/N! Why don't you understand? He is not good for you!"

"I am not marrying him! We are just having a decent friendship. Stop fucking overreacting" I yelled at him, I failed to keep my anger on check.

"I am saying this because I know him better than you Y/N. His friendship will end with you being naked in his bed, fucked out of your senses." Hoseok gritted out.

"Even if I end up in his bed, it's not a red flag to me." I glared back at him as I stepped forward unconsciously to give him a tough competition.

"Oh really? Then what's a red flag to you?" He got even closer.

"Red flag is what I share with you, Jung Hoseok!" I knew exactly what I was saying.

"W-what?" A shocked expression took over his handsome features.

"Yes. You heard it right. What we share is a massive red flag. You clearly know how much I love you and yet you give me mixed signals all the damn time. At a moment you are staring directly at my soul and on the next one you are locking your lips with your girlfriend. You question my love clearly knowing I love you like a lunatic. You act jealous seeing me with another guy that's not you. You even have the audacity of asking for a kiss. You do all these while having a girlfriend and then randomly show up at my place and say that you don't know why you acted like an asshole. This is what is called a red flag Hoseok!" I spat out. I had had enough and I needed to let all these out to ease the burning pain that paralyzed my heart. Hoseok apparently softened, "Y-Y/N listen to me…"

"No, I don't wanna listen to you anymore. What I wanna do is to just stay away from you. It would help me in subsiding my feelings for you and you won't have to ignore the constant buzzing of your phone as well." I shut my eyes as his phone vibrated for another time since he stepped into my house. He ignored it again.

His jaw was clenched, eyes were dark. His eyes were watery and I didn't expect to see him like this.

"Okay, if you want to stay away from me. I will not disturb you again." With that he stepped away from me, looked into my eyes for a little while and exited my house brushing past me. His words broke me inside. For the first time, I regretted applying for the job. For the first time, I regretted falling for him, getting him as a friend and now nothing was left. We would probably be two people who used to know each other and just the thought of it squeezed my heart as if to suck the last drop of blood from it. I broke down in tears for a thousand times in these three months and the reason was him, again.

----------------

When I secured this job I was just happy with the thought of seeing Hoseok and being able to work for him. Talking to him once or twice was a daydream that time. What I never expected was the reality of ignoring him willingly to save my heart from breaking. Since that night and that argument, none of us tried to talk to each other, not even for important issues. I was either addressed in a very cold professional manner or if there was any message, it would be conveyed to me. Working became a mere responsibility and earning a living again, but this time with added pain of seeing the love of my life in front of me but not being able to reach him. However, there were always lingering gazes, secret glances and an awkward tension whenever both of us were in the same room. The more the festival approached, the more the meetings increased and the harder it became to face him. My frustration and stress knew no bounds.

On the other hand, Seokjin became a close friend. His texts never seemed to cease. His and Jungkook's friendship, more like brotherhood and constant banter, became the only source of laughter and liveliness in my life. Another month passed just like that. And there was only a month left for the festival.

It was one of those Saturday evenings when I was deciding whether to go out alone or to remain at home. Me, Jungkook and Jin had a movie marathon the previous night, so Jungkook was too tired and Jin had a date, I had nothing to do. Just then I received a text from an unknown number..

Unknown number: is this Y/N?

Me: Yes

Unknown number: This is Somi, can I call you if you are not busy?

I halted for a moment, why was Somi texting me? I had never talked to her in more than one or two sentence exchanges, so her texting me and asking to call me up was beyond weird. Could this be about Hoseok? But then again, it had been a month since I last interacted with him.

Me: sure.

She called and greeted me with a little hello, I replied with the same.

Somi: "Y/N, I hope I'm not disturbing you. I actually had something to talk about."

Me: "it's alright Somi. Tell me what it is?"

Somi: "umm… can we meet? It's better to be talked about face to face actually.."

Her voice sounded somewhat sad.

Me: "I'm actually free tonight… do you probably wanna meet at a cafe or something?"

Somi: "Yeah, fine by me. You can text me the place and time. I'll be there."

Y/N: "sure."

I texted her the location of my favorite cafe as we decided to meet an hour later.

It was quite awkward, since none of us talked to each other personally. And it made me curious what she had to say that she had to meet me outside the academy. I saw her playing with the rim of her cup, she was either too tense or too nervous.

"What is it, Somi?" I asked

"Umm Y/N… it is actually about Hoseok." She replied, finally meeting my eyes.

"O-oh.. okay.. what about him?" I asked again

"Did you guys have a fight?" She asked with a calm tone.

"Ah.. ummm… n-no… why?" It was one of those few moments in which I got nervous.

"You don't have to lie Y/N. Everyone in the academy knows something is off between you two at this point." She chuckled a bit.

"Can you tell me what's the matter?" I asked again, wanting to shift the topic.

"You two should talk. You are probably thinking why am I even intervening between you two. Actually, I'm being a bit selfish. Since you two stopped talking, he lost himself. He is not his usual self. He.. he is not the hobi we used to know. You know the festival is nearing and it's important for him to focus. He is so stressed and frustrated these days that he doesn't even enjoy dancing like he used to. He overworks himself. Doesn't even sleep well. He… he is just…. I hope you understand." She completed.

"Why do you think it has anything to do with me, Somi? I am just a speck of dust in his universe. I don't think I matter enough to make him lose himself." I replied looking at my hot chocolate, "he didn't even know that I existed 3 months ago. I'm not that impactful" a dry chuckle left my mouth.

I felt her putting her hand on the top of mine with an assuring smile. Her gaze somehow felt too complicated, "he is a stupid Y/N. He is very inexperienced in the love and relationship area. He doesn't know the difference between having a mere crush and falling in love. He doesn't know it doesn't even take a day for people to fall in love and he had whole three months."

"What are you trying to say, Somi?" I questioned her, understanding her words very well. I didn't want another unnecessary drama to come my way. I was trying my best to move on, even though the success rate was 0.00%, I was still trying and that's what was important. I couldn't let the man or his girlfriend ruin the peace of my life more than they already did.

"You know what exactly I am talking about. You know him better than me Y/N." Somi smiled at me again. "Please talk to him. Even if not for yourself or for him, for the festival please. You know it's important. Please?" She pleaded, she even had the audacity of sending me her puppy eyes. Me being me, couldn't turn her down. I assured her I would talk to Hobi on Monday.

----------------

Rest of Saturday and Sunday passed at the speed of light. I became more and more nervous with each passing hour. I was the one to shove him out of my way now I was going to be the one to talk to him, it was quite nerve wrecking itself. Moreover, whatever Somi indicated had me expecting things from him all over again and I was afraid to be disappointed again. I promised Somi that I would stay after work and take the chance to talk to Hoseok. At the end of my working hour Somi texted me that he was in the big practice room.

My heart thumped in my chest as I stood at the entrance of the practice room. I saw him stretching out, being ready for practicing his choreography. The music was loud so I knew there would be no use calling him even if I tore my lungs in the process. I took my smallest steps towards him, his back was facing me but soon saw me clearly in the mirror.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, turning towards me. His voice was so stern, so cold that it made my heart drop. I instantly regretted agreeing to Somi.

"I… Somi wanted me to talk to you." I replied, all of my confidence was gone at this point. The way he stood just before me, placing his hands on his hips looking scary, had me on my knees.

"About what?" Another stren question.

"I don't know clearly. She just said you are not being yourself since we had a fight and asked me to talk to you since it's important for the festival." I let out almost in one breath.

"So you came to talk to me only because Somi asked and it included the festival. Isn't it? There is no other reason. No concern for me. No concern for what we have?" He said, his tone was mocking.

"What do we have, Hoseok? We have nothing." I said with my watery eyes staring directly at his dark ones.

"Oh yeah. We have nothing. It's Seokjin who has things with you. Am I right?"

"Why are you bringing him again? What is the problem?" I almost yelled.

"The problem is that I fucking hate seeing you with him! I fucking hate it when you spend time with him! I fucking hate it when you keep on replying to his texts with every interval you get from work. I hate the conception of him with you. Why don't you understand?" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Why so? You have a girlfriend, Hoseok. It's not fair to So…."

"We broke up." He replied cutting me off.

"What? Why? When?" I threw my rapid fires.

"Is that important?" He enquired.

"No.. I mean.. It is your personal matter. I don't wanna know but I hope I am not the reason."

"Then, sorry to disappoint you. You're the reason."

I sighed at his comment. I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Whatever it is, I hope it will be fine. Please try not to overwork yourself and sleep at night. I will take my….." and even before I knew my position was swapped with his and now I was pressed against the cold mirror. My hands were pinned on either side of me. Hoseok looked at me with his dark eyes. He was so pissed off that his expression sent shivers down my spine.

"You're not going anywhere until I am dropping you home myself." He breathed out.

"Hobi.. Wha…" and the next thing I knew was that his lips were pressed in mine. I couldn't process anything. He was sucking my lips as if he was hungry for those. He nibbled my lower lip due to my unresponsiveness but I still didn't kiss him back and that made him suck on my lips even harder. He pressed his body on mine and then pulled back after leaving my lips with a pop.

"Kiss me back Y/N, please." His voice was small, cracked and a drop of tear left his eye. I never imagined he would ever beg me for a kiss, never thought he would be desperate for me. The look he had on his face, the pain that was there in his eyes, broke all of the self-control that I practiced. I dived into the kiss. His lips were so soft and smooth, it felt as if I had never kissed a pair of lips before. It was the taste I always wanted in my conscious subconscious and even in my unconscious.

Next chapter

Taglist:-

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts @purplescript

#hoseok angst #jhope angst #bts angst #bts fanfiction #hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #bts x reader #hoseok smut #jhope smut #bts fanfic #bts x oc #bts jin #bts jungkook #jhope x you #jhope fanfic #hoseok x you #hoseok fluff #hoseok #bts jhope

133 notes · View notes

space-wedding · 2 years

Text

RFA AND CLASSICAL MUSIC

I’m assigning a classical music piece to the characters, with the reason as to why I think it fits them! Because I love both, Mystic Messenger AND classical music!! haha!

Also bare with me, the names of the pieces are quite a mouth full lmao! I really do recommend looking them up! I do kind of hope I can get more people hyped on classical music with this~ ヾ(*ゝω・*)ﾉ (all the pieces will be linked!)

CAREFUL: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Characters: Saeyoung Choi Saeran Choi Jumin Han Zen / Hyun Ryu Yoosung Kim Jaehee Kang V / Jihyun Kim

Saeyoung Choi / 707

Okay. This one is a bit complicated and I actually have two pieces in mind for him. One reflecting his playfulness and one reflecting his sadness. Saeyoung has gone through so, so much in his life. He tries to hide it all away behind a mask. On the outside he is playful, fun, a jester. Yet on the inside he is hurting, longing for just someone to reach out and take his hand. Someone who can accept him, with all of his baggage. And he has found that someone through you. Everyday he is greatful for you. He loves you so...

Mozart - Lacrimosa (specifically the version conducted by Bernstein)

For those of you who know anything about Mozart at all, you’ll know he was a jokster. Honestly in this day and age, he’d most definitely be making memes left and right. Sadly, towards the end of his life, he took a down spiral. Everyone left him, he lived in poverty, feeling alone. This is also the time when he fell ill and started writing his own requiem (mass for the dead/funeral music basically). In this piece, you can truly hear the hurt, fear, sadness... depression. Much like you can see Saeyoungs depression once you start to peel away the layers.

Mozart - Violin Concerto no 5 in A Major

This piece is so incredibly Mozart-esque, filled with arpeggios, fun runs, instruments calling out for each other and responding to each other. It’s light, it’s playful, it makes your heart melt like a warm spring morning.

Saeran Choi / Ray

Much like his twin, Saeran holds a deep sadness inside his heart. Even in the GE of his route. He has seen so much, gone through so much torture. From emotional manipulation to physical abuse, he has seen it all. He is starting to work through it, thanks to you and your support. You are his light that brings him life, he loves you more than anything in the whole world. but I do still think that an emotionally heavy piece fits him best, thus I assign him

Chopin - Nocturne Op. 48 No. 1

Once you start listening to this piece, it is clear what Chopin tried to tell us. This piano piece is absolutely beautiful, one that touches your heart deeply. It’s heavy, it’s sad, it’s cloudy. It’s... Saeran.

Jumin Han

He is a complicated man. One who’s not easy to understand. He barely knows how to control his emotions, so he doesn’t let them happen at all. Because once he does, it’s so overwhelming he can barely contain himself. That is until you come along. You, the person who was able to help him start untangling the threads in his head. You, the person who really understands him and sees below the surface of the rich, cold business man. You, the person he loves so, so much, more than words will ever be able to describe. Which is why I assign him

Tchaikovsky: Violin Concerto In D Major

God, I could gush about this concerto for hours on end. Tchaikovsky fell in love with a violinist named Kotek. Kotek had the idea that they write a violin concerto together, and so they did. And god... this concert is SO ROMANTIC, its boarding on cheesy. Every note perfectly placed, it’s exciting, longing, full of love! A love so comforting, it can not be described with words alone

Zen / Hyun Ryu

God this man is passionate! Passionate about everything he does. Once he sets his mind on something, he will put his whole being into it. His heart is full of emotions that are just waiting to get out! His chest nearly bursts open every time he even hears your voice, god he is in love with you. And thanks to you, he has found courage in opening himself up more. Thanks to you he became an even better version of himself.

Monti - Czardas

GOD this piece. It’s passionate, it’s sexy, it’s fast! Full of fire, waiting to embrace you. It makes you want to dance and spin around, preferably with a person you love. This is Zens beast breaking free. Haha

Yoosung Kim

I always see Yoosung as very delicate. He is still very young and still learning new things about himself, yet he already had to go through so much. He is so happy that he has finally found someone who understands him and he can confide in. Someone who doesn’t just see him as that cute, somewhat naive college boy, but someone who sees him as... him. The whole package, the cuteness, the manliness, the intelligence, his complicated feelings. You’re his first and also his last love and every day he will show you just how much he loves you.

Saint-Seans - Carnival Of The Animals, The Swan

This piece sounds like... the way Yoosung looks at you in the morning, when you wake up in his arms. Warm and soft like a sunday morning, yet somehwat somber. It’s comforting and truly fills my heart. Absolutely wonderful.

Jaehee Kang

At first, she seems like a somewhat robot-like business woman. But god, she is so much more. Once you get to know her and once she feels comfortable opening up to you, you can see who she truly is. She is so strong, passionate about the things she loves. Someone you can look up to, but also someone who will come to you for advice. You bring her comfort during the times she feels her deep routed anxiety come to the surface. You tell her to take a break, once you notice she’s starting to overwork herself again. She is truly thankful to have found someone like you in her life.

Debussy - Rêverie

This piece makes me feel like, waking up in the morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. As you make your way to the kitchen to find your girlfriend, still in her Pyjamas, waiting for you with the biggest smile. Is this a dream? It does kind of feel like one, so comforting.

V / Jihyun Kim

It has been a while, since I have played his route and after ending, so forgive me if this may not be 100% accurate.

V holds a deep sadness within him, one he has trouble working through as he thinks other people are more important than his health. He has gone through so, so much and he is so glad he found someone like you. Someone who was able to forgive him even after he entrusted you with his secrets and his past actions. He is so glad that he has found someone who accepts him, who loves him for him, without trying to change him. He is so glad that he has found you.

Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata, 1st Movement

God, this piece always makes me emotional. I recommend listening to the whole thing, not just the first movement, as I feel like the progression really completes it. The first movement is slow, sad, depressing. Every single note is filled with emotion to the max. It’s just so freaking good, always helps me get out a good cry. It feels a lot like... missing an old friend or a past life.

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jumin han #zen #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #v #jihyun kim #mysme #my writing #i put a lot of thought and effort into this #so i hope you'll enjoy it haha!#writing by me #headcanon

54 notes · View notes

fishsticksloser · 1 year

Text

I Gave You My Heart

Warnings: fluff 3rd person Saeran centered

A/N: sweet pink, strawberry Saeran 🥺

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

Christmas was hard enough with Saeyoung being the way he is, but this was Saeran’s first official Christmas. He had gotten away a few years ago, but now he was out of treatment and able to spend it with everyone.

The RFA had been so kind to him, it made him so happy to finally be with people who cared about him, especially you. You 2 had been together for a while, but he hadn’t kissed you since that time in the garden. He was trying to be more open about how he felt, but it was hard. You were incredibly understanding and let him take his time and decide how quickly things should move.

Now, he sat next to you while you all opened presents. It was hosted at Jumin’s penthouse, which was completely decked out. Elizabeth sat in Saeran’s lap, she refused to move, not that Saeran minded (Saeyoung was fuming). Zen passed out gifts, making sure Saeran was first, he was the guest of honor after all.

“From Jumin” Saeran said. He pulled the paper off and was left with a small box. Inside? A watch, it was dazzling, rose gold. “Thank you.”

Jaehee got him a set of baking utensils, bowl, and cook books. Zen got him a $100 gift card to his favorite ice cream place. Yoosung got him a strawberry scented candle (he’s on a college student budget). Jihyun got him a super soft pink blanket, one that Saeran had been interested in before. Saeyoung made him a personal assistant strawberry cat.

That left you. He knew that he would love anything you got him, no matter what. So when Zen handed him the gift from you, he didn’t even hesitate to rip it open. [Insert super obscure thing you think Saeran would want].

He grinned from ear to ear. He couldn’t contain himself and kissed you. It was short, sweet, and smiley.

“Sorry...” He mumbled, his neck to his ears bright red. You reassured him that it was okay, that he didn’t do anything wrong. But to be honest, he could only think about kissing you again.

He did, later when you 2 were getting more to drink in the kitchen. He softly tugged you to him and kissed you, just as sweetly as before. You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your tip toes to reach him a little better.

“Thank you.”

#mystic messenger #mysme #jumin han #yoosung kim #mm 707 #jihyun kim #jaehee kang #hyun ryu #agent 707 #saeran x mc #saeran choi #mystic messenger saeran #saeran #saeran x reader #se saeran #ge saeran #saeran after ending

27 notes · View notes

asterjennifer · 1 year

Text

Mark

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: Saeran & Saeyoung (& V)

Word count: 2,599

After so long apart, it was inevitable for them to me again.

He resigned to the idea that's been feed to him. However, his other half isn't exactly thinking the same.

The moment they stood together in front of the big doors forced his heart to swell up into his throat. The wodden color of warm brown reached his consciousness only in vague shapes, he couldn't really focus on a specific detail on the door. He stood as straight as a candle; unsure how to approach the entire situation.

“Do you need some more time?”

Jihyun's voice was soft when reaching out to the younger man beside him, stiffer than he'd like to admit. His voice was welcoming, warm even the moment he noticed his distress, however, he only shook his head.

“No, no… I am okay. Let's go inside.”

Mint colored hair fell forward after Jihyun titled his head to see his face better; much to his displeasure. He breathed through before rocking back to his heels for a second, taking in more air. It would be fine and it's nothing that's having business leaving his heart to almost hammer out of his chest.

The two, big hands on his shoulders caught him off guard. Turned with ease in order to be face to face, and Jihyun looked at him the way he'd done quite a lot lately. Fresh determination inside his shining eyes that paired ever so well with the new found calm he'd claimed over time. Yet a honest expression of strict feelings that kept his face wrinkle free.

“I mean it, Saeran. If you feel too nervous then we can go in a little later. This small amount of time won't do anything.”

He hushed his racing brain one more time. For a moment he's speechless, wondering how often that actually happened over the short years he spend alongside his old guardian. It's not that he's not wanting to see these familiar faces, it's everything evolving around them. He didn't know what's changed about them specifically. He sighed when closing his eyes, reaching up to put his hand over Jihyun's.

“I'm okay.” He promised firmer. “Please… Just go in first, that way I have a second to process my surroundings.”

Jihyun kept his eyes straight as if trying to see through his soul for any particular lie. But Saeran meant it; he's ready despite his nerves threatening to snap. The older one took in a deep breath, patting his shoulder much too gently and finally letting go of him.

“Okay then. Let's meet them.”

Without another exchange of looks or words, Jihyun grabbed the doorknobs and turned them open. The noises of the party broke through immediately and the atmosphere did a one-eighty considering the smell of food, drinks and people hit forcefully. The lights inside the big hall lightning up the main floor brightly, a little too bright in Saeran's opinion.

He blinked at the pain it caused, lifting his hand up out of reflex. He didn't expect to find so many people in the room, he'd suspected perhaps hundred. Two hundred maximum. But this easily could've been a doubled number of faces, it caused his hands to shake from the pressure he's suddenly finding himself under.

“Don't worry.” Jihyun's voice reached out between the million others.

Saeran watched how he offered his hand in the middle of public. The smile lingering on the older one's face between doting and considerate, could be both at once for all he knew. It's embarrassing given some of the strangers already turned their attention to the scene he's involved in. Although it's maybe childish in some sense he's unwilling to see, he took Jihyun's hand tightly.

It's an instant reassurance that he's not alone right in the heat of the moment. Jihyun had strangely developed this trait of providing him his hand when seemingly overwhelmed. Not that Saeran complained, it's a nice gesture of care. It's difficult to get used to regardless. He's more than grateful though, it's not something somebody has given to him that openly before.

Jihyun began to lead them through the mass skillfully, like he knew exactly where to go. The people's voices lingered in his ears as the shimmer of the stage at the right side of the room kept attacking his eyes. The red curtains fit perfectly well to the red carpet running along the entire floor. The walls a golden touch, exactly like the lights and pattern in the ceiling.

He felt out of place by how fancy everything appeared. It's not quite right he was going across this hall. This very building he'd sworn to tear down one day, bury the dust deep into the ground right next to its occupiers. Days became blurry afterwards and now it could be laying back centuries ago, on the other hand it's just yesterday where he thought of demolishing it all.

“Wait here, Saeran. I will announce your presence as soon as I spoke to them.”

Fuzzy feeling, he thought to himself. His own steps came to an standstill, Jihyun let go of his hand altogether and suddenly he stood by himself behind the stage inside the darker part of the party. Ironical, a little fainted voice in the back of his head mumbled, quickly he suppressed it.

He peeked around the corner due to his insatiable curiosity. His hand against the wall's burning and he's certain the place itself is already flaming independently. But finally he could see them all in the very center of their successes.

Jaehee and Jumin stood with their usual professional attitude when discussing something that must've been important as usual. Yoosung and Zen lending an helping hand since the blond college student carried a list of his own. They looked… carefree. Happy. But there were two faces that had oxygen pressed out of Saeran's lungs right away.

She's present, too. He'd not seen her in what felt like an eternity. Eternity? Eternal...? The memories bubbled up to the surface when seeing her smile beam underneath the artificial light. She wore a pink dress, exactly how she did the day she arrived at Mint Eye two years ago. A lot more fancy today, of course. Her hair's braided back, showing the every inch of her face which hadn't changed in the slightest.

She was still pretty. Still the girl owning positive vibes, lovely attitude with her hands always being busy in some way or another. He'd not expected to feel his cheeks get warmer at the sight of her; especially now where the issue at hand wasn't his territory to play in. She's not the only face leaving his knees to wobble, though.

That red hair of childhood struck harder than prayed; the string of bitterness rose into his mouth. He wore these glasses he didn't even need in the first place. That happy suit in a lot more brighter shade than any of the two ever preferred. They both liked dark clothing most. It's true, his brother was an adult now. Simultaneously he's stayed the boy that he'd been since forever.

So many feelings woke up in a single second, just watching them laugh, speak and interact that easily with each other's concerning. They acted as themselves without a care in the world to play pretend. The RFA truly reminded of a close family.

“I've been waiting for this moment.”

Jihyun told her, to which she gazed back in confusion at first. Not long after her face shifted into pure shock, all their reactions were similar when thinking about it. Saeran's hand on the edge of the wall had strengthen the grip drastically until the tips of his fingers turned whiter than his skin.

No, he couldn't do this. Seeing them this way, peaceful and complete, where's his right interrupting this for the countless time? V assured he's wanted numerous times throughout their recovery together. Telling him they were searching, praying he survived in order to meet. Was it true?

Right there in the shadows of the greater good, far away and known by only the cloak of invisibility, he was home. All his life he's spend time in the dark by himself. There was too much light that it burned his retina, the warmth of the room letting sweat run down his back uncomfortably. This wasn't his home in the past, it wouldn't be in the presence and never be in the future.

The urge to turn on his heels and run until his body broke down filled his veins. He couldn't meet them like this, they shouldn't see him. He remembered well what exactly he'd done to the members of the organization and no matter how much time passed; this couldn't be his life. It implied so much happiness. That's nothing he's confident believing in. He couldn't be that happy without consequences.

“I have a news many of you wouldn't have expected – I'd like to introduce a new member of the RFA.”

Jihyun's tone of excitement tore him from spinning thoughts circling around his head. His body took a step back due to fear; he's aware what's about to happen. He didn't want it. He could not want it.

“I should have discussed it beforehand with the rest, but time was not so gracious with me.”

The short hint of a chuckle made Saeran's stomach sink. He couldn't smile at them if they were to find his presence soon. Should he shake hands with them? Apologize for all the destruction he'd done? Be silent and simply stand in the corner like decoration? He didn't know. Unconscious, his scar itched until he scratched it slightly.

“A new member...? But he did not discuss anything with us..” Jumin questioned.

Yoosung followed with a suspicious hint to his voice. “I think my skin is crawling right now..”

He swallowed, it's not that easy making out their words despite the short distance. People shut their mouths one after another; he's feeling the tips of his ears pulse the longer he was conscious of his body. He pressed a fist out of pure helplessness against his chest, hard and tight.

“Please give a round of applause for our newest member.”

And suddenly people were actually clapping. Saeran knew they're waiting for him, his mind went completely blank when acting on auto pilot, coming forth from the wall into the lightened side of the party hall. A variety of eyes staring holes through his tense limbs; there's not a single thing on his mind other than staring back.

He grazed the RFA, not one without wide eyes coming back. However, the second he met the ones oh-so very familiar, he's stuck in a slow motion. Saeoyung stood right there in front of him, mouth hanging open it what he assumed to be bewilderment.

“Saeran!!!”

“..!?”

It scared him to the bone. Hearing his own name being shouted by a voice he'd never imagine would even remember his existence. His ocean colored eyes widened in a different kind of shock as his older twin brother urged forward clumsily.

“You're Saeran, aren't you? It must be you!”

He yelped way too loud, way too emotional. His amber started getting wet once the tears reached the corners. Saeran felt torn, unable to keep his eyes at one point of the other's face. Exactly like before, he was left speechless. The hug that followed only added oil to the flames. His arms shot up instinctively; out of unwell emotions he'd rather forget about.

“You're alive. Thank you so much for being alive.”

The hug's strong and content, the grasp of his brother something he's sure he couldn't ever escape. His body continued to have grown a few inches taller than him, a little bigger than him, a little healthier and stronger. Nonetheless, Saeran wasn't sure who of them was weaker in that second.

“...See? I told you there is nothing to worry about.”

Jihyun tried talking to Saeran, affirmation of that kind he's not yet used to. He started shaking from head to toe, then. That scent knocking him over internally, reminding him of the ice cream under the sunny sky they shared in the past. That weird unconditional love he gave up shamefully quick.

“It must be you. Say something, Saeran...”

He pulled back to take him by the upper arms, for a brief thought he worried Saeoyung would shake him. Instead he stared in obvious desperation. What could he say? What should he say? It's luck he's standing on his feet right now and didn't fainted in the middle of the charity event.

“Saeran. It feels like you'd go away if I hold you. Don't go away! Don't you ever leave me now!”

God they pierced through deeply, each and every single world of that stupid man across from him. He shook his head slightly; unable to think of anything or find an action that could prove he's not mentally absent. Saeoyung's torturing stare finally broke away because of Jihyun, who stood behind him with the rest.

“Thanks, V. You have my gratitude for eternity.” His voice slipped at the edges.

“You saved my brother, didn't you?”

Jihyun's warm smile twisted into a painful one. “…I'm sorry I hurt him in the first place.”

He only received half of their conversation, busy scanning his other half closely. The last time he had seen his brother's face that up close was...

“.. You remember me. Even though my face is like... what it's like now.”

The second the meaning fell over his lips, he felt stupid. Supposedly should've said something touching or real for the thick air to finally dissolve. Saeyoung's head snapped back, eyebrows rising as high as they could as his grip tightened to the point of edging on hurtful.

“What are you talking about? Of course I remember my brother.”

Why did this hurt so much, but at the same time got this immense weight of doubt and shame falling down his shoulders in featherlight manner? Why did hearing that connection coming out of the other's mouth had him want to cry his soul out of his body? Why was he cursed to be melancholic even in the moments of true happiness?

“Let's never part again. Now let's stay together, safe and sound.”

Saeyoung pulled him into another hug, almost more aggressive then the one previously. Saeran this time managed laying his arms around his brother in return; to actually take hold of him after he's been unreachable for years. An emotional flame right there underneath his skin, immeasurable in comparison to a wildfire.

“...Saeyoung.”

There. He said the name out loud. A name so very conflicting to his heart. Going from the most precious word, to an insult to his faith and back to something soothing. The looks of the other RFA members filled to the brim with empathy, sadly Saeran didn't realize. He registered his own tears that ran down his cheeks, becoming more and more the longer he held his brother.

“It IS you...”

Feeling the nod, Saeyoung buried his face into the crock of his neck. The shaking of his shape unmistakably a sign of a silent cry with which Saeran was more familiar with than enjoyable. Instead of thinking over past memories, he gave the tears a pass since they're liberating. Hugging back and hiding into the suit of his older brother, mimicking his doing, almost too close to breathe properly. Yet neither could care one bit.

They stood there for mintues inside each other's arms. Hours? He didn't need to know. All he needed was to internalize the fact he finally go back the one thing he's been craving all his life. Looking for, fighting for in the first place. Crying out for endless times.

His family.

18 notes · View notes

jemmo · 5 months

Note

top 5 friendships/friend groups in bls? 👀✨

i love this question!!!!! friendships are one of my favourite parts of bl and i need more of it in 2024

kimi ni wa todokanai/i cannot reach you - i adore the entirety of this friendship group and it’s such a testament to the show bc they hardly get fleshed out, but from that first shot of them all watching yamato get confessed to i knew i’d adore them. it’s the way they don’t really understand yamato and still hang out with him anyway, the way fujino is the pet straight that just won’t shut up about his girlfriend but tries to be so good to kakeru even when it messes everything up, whatever hosaka and amamiya have going on, and more than anything hosaka going after yamato and his persistence to be his friend and talk about things with him and give him advice and the way that he identifies the queerness in him. they’re just all so good at being in a group together, it’s so boyish and youthful, it makes you yearn for school days like that.

my school president - of course this has to be on here, they set the bar so high for friendship groups in bl, and it says a lot that in a bl with so many couples, they constantly go out of their way to stress the how special and important their friendships are, like yes platonic love is just as worthy of love songs as romantic love, and beyond the core group, people like tiwson and kajorn are still so important to the story. i’ll say it again, it’s so boyish and youthful and it also gives you that feeling of validation to see people that are kind of outsiders and not that popular band together and form such a strong, loyal bond, like these boys would die for each other and again, it makes me yearn for school days like that.

minato shouji coin laundry (it counts bc of season 2) - specifically shin and asuka bc whenever they have a scene together im just having the best time. shin is so grumpy and asuka is so desperate to get under his skin bc despite the bickering exterior they are so besties and have this added layer of being the only other person to understand their position in their relationships. again it’s queers finding queers so even if it doesn’t make sense on the surface, there’s that shared experience that helps them bond and understand each other and it’s so good

the eighth sense - anytime i think of joonpyo i can’t help but smile bc he’s such a legend, and so well written, bc even tho we don’t see it, we get such a good idea of what his life is like and it’s actually separate from jihyun, like it really feels like these two have been besties for years but are taking this chance to explore their own lives without feeling the need to include the other, but still knowing they’re the person they can go home and talk to about it all. it’s knowing that person will always be there, and you can both be honest and real with them and also just act like total fools together.

only friends - and no this is not msp, im not putting this on here for the whole group bc this is not a good friendship group, this is here for sand and nick only bc they’re literally the only solid friendship in the whole show where they’re actually looking out for each other, and they fact they made out and were able to laugh and cuddle afterwards says it all. they are the pathetic second choice club that uniquely understand each other bc they’re the only other person that knows what it’s like to love someone that’s as much of a mess as ray and boston are.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#2024 im begging you pls give me more iconic besties #they’re one of my favourite parts of a show #and thank you for the ask

6 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 1 year

Note

So it turned out I have max points on my anxiety test. I never realized just how severe my anxiety was until I checked out my answers. That made me think...

Would Jihyun even handle a s/o like that? I mean, that man needs help himself so I always though his lover should be the stable one.

V has struggled a lot over the years. It's never been a cakewalk. There was a time when he was confident in himself and he didn't have to think twice about what he was feeling. That all changed when he lost his mother. He realizes that now in his adult life, he should’ve gotten help for his loss right after it happened. But he can't change how he reacted in the past and he can't do anything about it now.

He has to accept what happened and move forward to be at peace. That's why he took such a long time working on himself before he came back to consider starting a relationship with you. He wanted to make sure he was in a good head space and that he had done the work to handle his problems better. The pain he went through hasn't gone away, however.

He started to put the puzzle together but it's going to be a long road before he feels like he's made progress. The same could be said for you and many other people in this world. It takes time to feel okay, but it’s a life journey and it will be a long one with ups and downs. It doesn’t get healed, but it gets better when you take a chance and try to make your day brighter.

Even with all of the steps that he's made in the two years he was gone, there's still a long way to go. He knows he's going to have to keep working on himself if he wants to get better and feel better. He's willing to put the work in and he's going to hold himself accountable when he needs to. V is at a place where he can forgive himself and that helps in terms of being able to allow love into his life.

But, does that mean that his partner needs to be somebody who already knows how to take care of themselves?

No. You don't need to be completely healed and healthy to be in love or to love someone. You don't need to reach a point where you love yourself to be able to love another person. If we had to love ourselves first before we could love, well, would anyone? Love is about so much more then being at ease with yourself... sometimes, it takes knowing you can love someone else to learn how to love yourself.

You can be in a relationship and struggle with your mental health. What matters is how you handle it and how you decide to react. It can be hard sometimes and you can have bad days, but just because you have those doesn't mean that you can't have good days. If everybody had to learn how to love themselves before they could ever love somebody else, nobody would be in a relationship. So, to love V could put you at ease, and for V to you love, it could put him at ease. It’s just a matter of being honest and open with your feelings.

You stood by him through trials and tribulation. Why wouldn’t he stand by you? You’re not a bother. He loves you, and if you’re willing to wait for him and work with him on his needs, why wouldn’t he be patient and stand by you, too? When you put it that way, you should remember that his love for you is undaunted. He will be there. You are strong, you are brave, and even if you’re afraid... you still manage to amaze him every day. You inspire him. So, maybe, just maybe, you should have faith in him.

Talk with him. Listen to him. Work through your therapy and find support in your found family. It’s not the end of the world. Things will be okay and V isn’t going to go anywhere.

#ask #anon #mod kait #v mystic messenger #v mysme #v mm #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #v jihyun kim #mystic messenger v #mysme v #mm v

14 notes · View notes

stayarmytinyzenmoa-l · 9 months

Note

what was saeron and jihyun’s story?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IT WAS STRAIGHT OUT OF A K DRAMA ⁉️⁉️⁉️

@yangsrose cuz i saw her screaming about it in my inbox so lo and behold we got an ask hehe

(long post warning so it's under the cut)

Crys presents Hidden Hearts, the story of Saeron and Jihyun! i love lesbians

But basically shit was MAD cute like tooth-rotting fluff cute that started way back in the day because you have Saeron who never planned to be an idol until she was scouted and every trainee knew that. She turned into a sort of unwilling antagonist because "she didn't even want to be an idol, why are her scores so high? She should make space for the people who really want to debut" and that hurt. She felt so secluded and alone. She knew about the stardom and the glitz and glamour of idol groups but she never could have imagined the hell that was training.

Then you have Jiaying, or Jihyun as her fans know her now. Chinese trainee, that's already a peg down from the others, and a lesbian at that? Oof, it's a miracle she debuted. Though she didn't tell anyone her orientation, she knew that it would destroy her chances of ever debuting, somehow everyone knew. Or at least, enough people knew. And she was secluded because of that. Even her roommates felt uncomfortable with her and it ate her inside out. She knew that training would be hell, but not like this.

Then, one day, while they were checking scores, she noticed someone stay a little bit longer. Once everyone had cleared out, Jiaying stayed behind with this person. She didn't understand, Saeron got the highest score, why was she crying?

That same day, while they were checking scores, Saeron wondered why Jiaying stayed behind. She wondered why people would be so prejudiced to this woman who gave her a handkerchief and a shoulder to cry on.

They became friends after that. Two people who were isolated from the other trainees. But Jihyun, she promised herself, she swore that in her time as a trainee she wouldn't fall in love, she couldn't. She had to debut no matter the cost even if it meant denying who she really was but god fucking dammit why'd she have to go and fall for the most unattainable girl?

How many nights had Jihyun listen to Saeron crying about her then-boyfriend? Sick piece of shit never cared about Saeron, or at least not the same way she did. But Jihyun stayed that whole time, she couldn't imagine leaving. The two were so close that they both even considered leaving the company together.

So, who knew that they'd debut together?

Debut. The most stressful time of their life was over. And, wow, how nice it is to debut with your friend. Best friend, apparently. Now it was really true, Jihyun could never date her. They both reached their dreams now, side by side, but they could never be together the way Jihyun wanted, she couldn't be selfish like that not after the hell they escaped. So she settled with just talking, just being together and enjoying each other's company comfortably was enough.

So what is this? What are they doing now?

Saeron's breath caught in her throat. What was she doing? God, you were just crying in the room down the hall, so what was she doing here? In Jihyun's room? She just confided in her, her best friend, the stress she was under as leader of this group, how everything had just been building up underneath them and she couldn't do anything about it, she couldn't help you, she couldn't help the group, and she couldn't help herself. Tears were in her eyes but here she was on top of Jihyun, who looked at her with eyes she couldn't quite read, a new one for her. Now wasn't the time to do this, she knew. ANiMA was neck deep in the dating scandal, NCT as a whole had their own qualms to deal with too. Imagine, imagine, if Saeron confessed her love now? Slowly, Jihyun's hand cups her face.

"You are enough," is all she said. And Saeron sobbed, the last time she had cried harder was when she found out her ex cheated on her, and that's why this hurt so much. She knew the pain you were in but she couldn't comfort you, you wouldn't let her in, you wouldn't let anyone in. And carefully Jihyun held her to her chest, rocking her slowly and combing her hands through her hair to calm her down, and Saeron cried. She loved this woman, she just never realized it until now. All the nights she came to Jihyun, all the touches that were a little too long and the interactions that couldn't be anything other than flirtatious. Saeron was scared, and Jihyun was her safe space.

"I love you, Kang Jiaying," she said quietly.

"I know, you do," Jihyun answers.

"No, no, I mean it, I love you," she repeats, looking into her eyes. And again, Jihyun's were unreadable. "I can't think of anyone else I'd want to spend the rest of my life with," she says quietly.

Jihyun thought she was dreaming, she had to be. All those pushed down feelings came back again.

"We can't," she shakes her head.

"I know," Saeron's eyes were still full of tears. "I know... but it's still not fair."

"I know," Jihyun separates from her. "This industry never was."

"But, still, I love you," Saeron repeats. Was it so selfish of her to want to hear those words come out of the other?

"I've always loved you," Jihyun admits, and Saeron wipes the tears from her face. "From the day I saw you crying in front of the scores, I've always loved you. And the day I asked you to leave the company with me, it was then that I wanted to give you my everything, but instead we stayed, and we stayed together," Jihyun holds Saeron's hands in her own, pressing a small kiss to her knuckles. "So, for now, let's love in secret, you and I," she offers, and a glint of hope shone in Saeron's eyes.

"Until the day we can love in the spotlight," Saeron smiles.

"Until the day I can show you off to the world," Jihyun replies.

#asks #anon #prominence #i love these two so much

4 notes · View notes

roleplay-abiogenesis2 · 1 year

Note

It was said and done: MC's security was finalized, the members were clamoring in every which chatroom, demanding something - anything - other than secrecy. V had only spotted a couple chatrooms, a few conversations that he could parse within quick glimpses, having to vacate before any suspicion could arise... and things, predictably, weren't well. Well things in Rika's care needn't stay that way for long.

Wearily, Jihyun blinked, bowing politely to the security guards posted just before Jumin's penthouse -- he was granted access, of course, but Jihyun always found himself knocking anyways, breath caged in his chest.

It wasn't a farewell. It could be. It felt like one.

The door opened, and Jihyun walked in, spotted a familiar blur shadowed in the farthest corner of the room, and smiled. Oddly, his lips did that of their own accord.

"Jumin."

His throat feels like gravel, but he treks down that pathway regardless, footing uneven and destination unknown.

"... I," it's a familiar unfamiliarity, sitting on his tongue: an apology that always escapes, but never now, never whenever he needs it most. "She's safe. I made sure of that."

Jihyun hopes it's better than an apology. He knows it isn't.

[I have to go.]

He'd typed those quick words in the chatroom the very moment Jihyun's presence at the gateway to his tower had been announced. ZEN had been in the middle of a rant; he'd hear his complaints about leaving abruptly later, no doubt.

In the few moments that would take his guest to ride the elevator to his penthouse's floor, Jumin had restlessly changed position thrice. At first trying to impose himself to sit down on the couch, and wait. When Elizabeth the 3rd had stirred from her rest to leave her spot beside him, he'd taken it as a sign. That wouldn't do.

No, deep inside he knew the sensitive and intelligent Persian was more than likely perceiving his unnerved mood and wanted none of it. A wise and respectable choice. He didn't try to stop her when she moved across the apartment to head upstairs where the guest room was.

He'd shifted to look at his own reflection by the cabinet with his expensive wines collection, and one hand reached to his tie to tug it loose a bit. It was getting harder to breathe.

No, he didn't want to look stressed out before Jihyun. With an expert maneuver of well-practiced fingers, the knot was even tighter than before.

The quietest of sighs left through his nose, as he paced away, aimless to the floor-to-ceiling windows. Barely a look to the city lights outside, before the familiar knock reached his ears. He did not need to grant vocal permission. It was just as pointless and ritual as his friend's own habit by now.

And there came his voice. A squeeze to the heart every time it came; and it had gotten so rare of late. 'I'm sorry', his mind completed on Jihyun's behalf already, so automatically Jumin could almost swear he heard it in his friend's voice in his ears. But it was an illusion.

This time, he didn't say it. And that alone was disturbing enough - funny, how often Jumin had complained that Jihyun apologized far too often to the point the word lost meaning - for him to finally break eye contact with the semi-transparent reflection on the glass to turn and aim steel gray eyes onto the real deal. To that shield of dark shades that separated them.

MC was safe. A relief, but was that truly all he deserved to hear?

"... Safe, and where?" He asked, straightforward as a bullet. It wasn't customary of Jumin to forgo the manners of a good host, usually. But the situation was far from usual, and his patience had run so, oh so thin. The least he could do as a final grace for Jihyun was show him exactly how, by getting straight to the point. "Is it another secret address I shouldn't be privy of?"

#v13 || mystic messenger #00j || that's what they said. [asked & answered]#ofhope #mm02 || i miss elizabeth the 3rd. [ic: han jumin]#to: || v (mystic messenger)#//finally I can get to this!#sorry it took a while #it was lost in draft mountain #but I hope it brightens your day a little\\

2 notes · View notes

juni-writesx · 2 years

Text

heard there was a thing called wip Wednesdays.

here's a juminv / vumin thing i began writing for one of the juminv weeks on here. i think it was the first one and the prompt was proposal.

eventually this thing was going to make it there but ..... it didn't yet lol.

sexual intimacy is hinted at but not described. i guess this would receive like a tv14 rating or something. who knows.

and who knows if they'll ever reach the proposal lmao.

————————————

As the sunlight comes in through the blinds, Jumin knows that it’s time to get out of bed. A shame, really… for he’s comfortable at the moment. With one arm draped across Jihyun’s waist; their bodies molded together as they rested on their sides. The heir’s face close to the back of his neck.

He’s warm in this position. Being a man who generally has a low body temperature, he gets cold rather easily. It’s one of the few reasons why he wears so many layers of clothing. But now, underneath a blanket and curled against his significant other – to put it simply, he doesn’t want to move.

Especially since Jihyun is still sleeping soundly.

Yet with the light of a new and, rather important, day dawning, he knows that he must get up and, at the very least, close the blinds, lest it wake his love. And he certainly wouldn’t want that.

With a soft sigh, he ever so gently nuzzled his nose against the back of Jihyun’s neck and inhaled the subtle scent of lavender lingering from his shower last night. The scent is calming and soothing, and soft. Much like the man himself. And he smiles.

Then slowly and cautiously, he uncurls himself from his loves’ side, shivering slightly as he loses that contact with him and as the blankets shift a little with his movement. There’s always tonight to rest beside him, he thinks. It’s one of Jumin’s favorite things to do, admittedly. Certainly after a long, hard day at work.

Once he’s out of bed, he makes his way to the windows and begins closing the blinds and the curtains, all the while keeping an eye on Jihyun to make sure that he’s still sleeping. Which he is, as indicated by the soft snore he lets out – but not before rolling over and shifting a bit closer to the spot where Jumin had just left.

He’d always done that, the heir noticed. And when inquired about it, the response he received was, maybe it was my subconscious missing you beside me.

As he remembered, he smiles a little more. Hoping that what he has planned would be sufficient enough, and that the other wouldn’t have to miss him next to him in bed… for a little while, at least.

And he tip-toed his way to his closet, pulling out one of his many three-piece suits, then gathered his undergarments and a pair of socks to change into for the day, before making his way out of the bedroom and into one of the many bathrooms in his penthouse so he could take a shower and freshen up.

He had to look his best, after all. Even though Jihyun quite liked it when he dressed casual – today was going to be anything but.

It had to be right. Perfect. Fitting for his Spring Prince, or so he nicknamed him. (To which Jihyun replied by calling him Winter Prince, and Jumin certainly doesn’t mind.)

What better way to begin the day with breakfast. It was the most important meal of the day, after all, and shortly after Jumin gets changed, he enters the kitchen to begin making Jihyun’s favorite.

“Mm. Smells good in here.”

Jihyun’s voice startles Jumin – having been so focused on finishing up breakfast before he had woken up, and knowing that there was an aspect of the day that had not gone according to plan makes him a little upset.

His eyes flick up from the frying pan on the stove and he can’t help but to take in the sight of the man on the other side of the half-wall that separated the kitchen from the dining area.

Jihyun stood there; shoulder-length, turquoise hair pulled back into a messy bun, black glasses framing his teal eyes… dressed in a pair of black yoga pants that rode low on the hips (exposing a few marks that made Jumin smirk a little), and a grey t-shirt that now exposed his lower stomach as he stretched his arms up above his head.

The heir watched, still, as he lowered his arms and rolled his head.

His morning stretches, which meant that he hadn’t been awake for very long. But long enough that Jumin wasn’t finished making them breakfast.

“Sleep well?” Jumin asked as he glanced back at the pan. Making sure that the eggs that he was cooking wouldn’t get burnt.

Though in his mind’s eye, he could clearly see the other’s light blush that colored his cheeks. He knew him well enough by now that certain comments and insinuations could make the other blush a little… or a lot.

“I did…,” Jihyun replies, just a tad embarrassed. Indeed, his cheeks have just the slightest bit of color to them. “Thank you. And you?”

“Yes.” it’s out of his mouth before he has a chance to think about it. Truth be told, Jumin was awake long after he fell asleep. Taking in the moonlight that cast an ethereal glow on him, listening to the soft inhale and exhale of his breath, and brushing his bangs away from his eyes now and then.

He was relieved to know, way back when, that Jihyun didn’t mind him watching him as he slept. It’s comforting, amidst all that’s going on.

When the eggs are finished cooking, Jumin moves the pan from the burner onto a cold one and turns off the stove. “Hungry?”

“A little, yes.” And Jihyun moves closer to the half-wall in order to peek into the kitchen. “Toast and eggs,” he says. “With orange juice and strawberries. What’s the occasion?”

Oh, it’s easy to hide the smile that wants to curve his lips and it’s so easy to stay neutral and expressionless. He mastered it years ago. Despite Jihyun being his emotional exception – he wants to keep this to himself. For the time being, anyway.

“I can’t make breakfast for my Spring Prince on my day off?” His eyebrow arches just a touch as he crosses his arms. A show, really. This slight banter between them is one of the things that had made him fall for Jihyun in the first place.

And the other laughs softly. “It’s just a surprise. The last time you made breakfast, it was for Valentine’s Day, and we both know what happened then.”

The heir relaxes – his arms moving back to his sides as he smirks once again, and making sure he looks pointedly in Jihyun’s direction. “We could recreate that…”

“…I think we did a bit last night.”

“Fair enough.” Now his lips curve into a smile as he picks up a spatula to remove the eggs from the pan and onto the plates that are on the counter nearby. “I do have an idea on how to spend the day –”

“You’re not going to hole yourself up in the office and do work, are you?”

“So long as you’re not going to rush off to your studio and work on developing film from last week.”

Jihyun feigns hurt; his hands clamping over his chest as though he has been wounded. “How dare you accuse me of being the workaholic in this house, Jumin.”

It’s the heir’s turn to chuckle. “I never said that.” And he slips his hands underneath the plates – one on each hand – and carefully carries them from the kitchen and into the dining area, passing Jihyun on the way. “Give me a moment and I’ll grab your juice.”

“You’re too kind.”

“So I’ve been told. Though I’m sure most, if not all, would disagree with you.”

“They just don’t know you like I do.” Jihyun smiles softly in Jumin’s direction, and despite the heir not being able to see it… he can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s smiling.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Their comments cease as they enjoy breakfast together after Jumin retrieves both of their juices. The silence, save for the noise from forks occasionally clanking against the plates, is comfortable.

And when they are finished, it is Jihyun who offers to clean off the table. “You cooked.”

“But you need to get dressed.”

“Are we really going out this early in the morning?”

It was still relatively early in the morning – a bit before quarter to nine. Most of the things that Jumin had planned didn’t begin until after four in the evening. But there were still things that he wanted to do with Jihyun before then.

“Not out, per se.” He says. “I figured we could take a walk in the garden for a bit. Or we could go to the theatre and watch a movie.”

“A walk sounds nice. I can bring my camera.”

“Please do. I’m sure there will be plenty of photo opportunities while we are out today.”

A sly smile curves V’s lips as he slips his arms around Jumin’s waist, head tilted upward slightly. “There’s always a photo opportunity when you’re around.”

At that, Jumin’s cheeks flush slightly. He’s well aware that he’s an attractive man, and he’s heard it many times over. But it was always different when it came from Jihyun. “Thank you,” he responds before placing a small kiss to his forehead. “Now. Go get ready. Wear what you’d like.”

“Can’t I wear this if we aren’t going out?”

“You slept in that. Besides, you’ve a vast array of comfortable clothing that you can slip into. I’d much rather you be in clean and comfortable clothes for the time being.”

“For the time being? You still need to fill me in on what’s going on later.”

Jumin slips his own arms around Jihyun and pulls him in as close as possible. “In due time, my love.” and slowly he releases him, waiting for him to do the same.

Which Jihyun does, albeit with a soft sigh. “Alright. It should only take me a few to get dressed.”

“Take all the time you need,” Jumin replies softly as he reaches up to brush the other’s bangs away from his eyes. “There’s no rush. We wouldn’t want the day to escape us, seeing as I have a flight to catch tomorrow.”

“I know.”

#juminv #vumin #v mystic messenger #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger fic #mystic messenger #jumin x v #mystic messenger fluff #fanfiction #juni writes

2 notes · View notes

windi04 · 10 months

Text

R U Next? My top 6

So I decided to make this post before any of the other trainees have to leave the show, thereby messing up the final lineup in my head. For the most part I don’t actually have an order, but you’ll probably understand my choice of numbering when you reach the end of their post.

6. Minju

From the beginning itself I liked her. She is obviously more on the softer side, in terms of performance and behaviour both, which obviously seems to appeal to people. She’s also quite talented, and is able to maintain stable performance. She can add more dynamic to the group and balance the soft side and the powerful concepts. She is also a visual, and it probably acts as one of her biggest plus points.

5. Yunah

She had an extremely strong start, and proved herself right from the beginning itself. Although she is currently not doing as well as she might have expected, she can be a very valuable performer for the group.

Also, her chaotic energy will really help the group during variety shows.

4. Jiwoo

A well developed vocalist is what the kpop industry is in desperate need of, and here’s someone who promises to do just that. Her vocals are so effortless that people might not see it as anything special, but that’s just because you and I don’t have ears that are trained to track musical goodness, however subtle it might be. Also she has been showing some leadership qualities in the show, so I think we already have a potential leader?

3. Jeemin

I mean, she didn’t just walk in and rank first during the monthly evaluations! She kept getting robbed in the earlier episodes, but she’s a gem that is consistently bright and brilliant. I hope people do recognize her for this. She also reminds me so much of Eunchae from LE SSERAFIM, and I would love to see the two together.

2. Chanelle

She showed from the beginning itself that she is a girl with big ambitions, and she seems to be working hard for it. I will wage a war if she’s suddenly eliminated somehow - to ignore a talent like hers is just stupid. She’s an all rounder, and she has the vocals to compete with other vocalists of her generation. She can also rap pretty well, so it goes without saying that she’s one of the most valuable assets that this team can have.

1. Youngseo

Am I the only one who’s seeing a golden maknae in formation? I mean, girl went off like a bomb and has been consistent ever since! Not having her in the final lineup is going to be a big, big mistake. In fact - it would be the biggest mistake ever to be made in the history of survival shows. She also has some leadership skills, and has the ability to think of both the team and herself. She’s the absolute ace!

As a side note, here are two honourable mentions

Jihyun

She is perhaps the most versatile trainee in the show, although she definitely shines brighter in darker concepts. I was absolutely confused when she appeared in the Low team for Given-Taken, like where the hell did she come out of? And then I realized that this was the same girl that I had rooted for in the Dalla Dalla team?! My god, the DUALITY! She definitely needs to debut - it’s a shame that there are only six slots available.

Himena

Here’s another girl whose duality is even more insane. The only thing that keeps me from supporting her is her age. Imagine how unstoppable she’d be when she’s older, and more mature in terms of talent! Hybe would lose a lot if they lose her!

Anyways, that was my top six and other possible contenders. What about you?

#r u next?#r u next? My picks #hybe labels #belift #noh yunah #Yunah #jeemin #minju #jihyun #himena #jiwoo #chanelle #youngseo

0 notes

bloodpacks-archive · 3 years

Text

HOMES OF THE RFA (+V AND SAERAN) HEADCANONS

alright we’ve got zen’s bachelor pad first - generally zen tends to be a pretty minimalist guy with his house. part of it is honestly because he couldn’t really afford to completely deck out his house for a while, and now he’s just grown used to the look of it so he really likes having spaces that are a little less cluttered. the one exception to this, unfortunately, is his kitchen. he doesn’t use his kitchen often, and as a result, he often forgets to do his dishes until the end of the week. monday? that shit is spotless. his kitchen is cleaner than anything has ever been and the dishes are neatly put away. do not even look at that kitchen on wednesday. it’s become a disaster zone and he’s embarrassed. but once the mc starts to come by more, i think he ends up cooking for himself a lot more because he starts to realize that he actually really enjoys it. he loves being healthy, and now that he has the motivation to cook for himself (and her, of course), he starts to realize how much he likes control over what he eats. so now his kitchen is a lot cleaner bc it just has to be.

two different places for yoosung !! - the one on the left is yoosung’s dorm :) it’s actually really cool in there. he spends a lot of time in that little room, so he decides to invest a little bit and make sure that he’s happy with the place he lives. he likes alternative lighting (mainly because it helps his eyes a bit when he’s playing lolol) but also because overhead lights can be a little harsh for him, especially after a long day of school. when the mc’s there, he always makes sure that the lights are just right. it’s very common for both of them to fall asleep while the LEDS are still on, a movie playing on the projector he bought a while back. when he moves out of college, though, his house is a bit of a different story. he still keeps some LEDS and neon signs in a little gamer/office space, and for the most part he’s actually pretty neat, but his house can definitely get messy. surprisingly enough, the mattress on the floor is not for him. in fact, it’s for zen. he comes over so often that yoosung ends up setting up a little mattress for him so that he can stay over whenever he has drinks with him. the mess honestly isn’t terrible though, and he and the mc are both good about making it an organized disaster.

jaehee’s cozy little apartment - rather than art posters, jaehee actually has a lot of framed broadway and other musical posters on her walls. she branches out a bit from zen’s musicals over time, and she actually really loves decorating her home with something that she loves so much. she likes her small apartment, and it means that she and the mc are never really that far away from each other. she places her hand on the mc’s back whenever she squeezes past her in the kitchen, and when they have their coffee in the morning she can lean over and grab her hand during conversation. she always has candles lit, and she prefers really earthy and woody scents. tobacco is a common scent, but as is sandalwood. even with the candles, their apartment constantly smells like fresh coffee beans and sourdough bread. it is a very rare day if there isn’t dough rising in the window somewhere, and even rarer if there isn’t a baked loaf hidden away in the kitchen.

two homes for jumin as well !! - the first picture is of his penthouse when the mc moves in with him. she adds little throw pillows, some rugs, and some plants to his stupid penthouse and makes it feel much more like a home. he gets rid of that stupid circular bed the second he realizes that she feels a little cramped in it and upgrades to a beautiful king sized mattress. there’s about a million and one windows, and that’s actually something he really loves about the penthouse. so it’s really no surprise when he and the mc move a bit out of the city and they keep the big windows and the big open spaces, but make it feel like something that’s meant to be lived in. jumin discovers his love of wood and tall bookshelves with a mix of occult novels and old classics, and the mc convinces him to add a little more color into his interior. their new house has a big garden out back so he can still visit the roses (though they aren’t the same ones from his old rooftop garden, but he’d argue that he planted them with her, so they’re so much better). they built the house themselves so it’s perfect for them, and elizabeth the third has her own little space for playing.

hmmmm. saeyoung choi’s new home <3 - saeyoung eventually leaves the bunker. it’s a hard move, and it’s definitely not one he takes lightly (he’s used to moving, but not away from a place with so many good memories). but, he builds this new home from the ground up with the mc. he makes the plans and hires architects to help him, and he starts to fall in love with this new home even while it’s still a blueprint. he never gives up his complicated security system (the arabic dictionary really starts to feel heavy sometimes), but he does start to realize how much he loves windows. he still ends up getting them reinforced, but he loves the natural light and he actually really likes being able to see outside so easily. it’s a stupid thing, but sometimes the mc will catch him sitting on their couch and just looking out at the secluded little forest they ended up moving to, and he seems really happy. similar to yoosung, saeyoung cannot stand overhead lighting. at first, his solution was to just have no lighting at all, but one day he came into his office and there were these little lamps everywhere and they actually made his office feel a lot less daunting. ever since then, he’s started using lamps more often than the lights installed into his ceiling. he also says they help to reduce any sensory issues he might have from the light, which also means a lot less headaches for him. he starts to really love thunderstorms while he lives there, and so he and the mc always curl up whenever it starts to rain and they sit on the couch, watching as lightning cracks across the sky and counting the seconds until the thunder together. whenever it rains, saeyoung knows he can take a break from everything for a while.

jihyun kim’s beautiful little apartment - his apartment is tiny except for his studio. similarly to jaehee, he likes the small spaces because one, he loves how cozy is feels, but two, because it means he can reach out to his mc a lot more often. his studio, however, is the biggest and brightest space imaginable. all of his apartment is big on natural light, but he loves having a huge window in his studio because it means he’s able to see actual life even when he’s wrapped up in his work. it’s also big enough that the mc can sit in and watch him work without ever feeling like she’s in the way, which he absolutely loves. it’s really common for her to be sitting on one of his extra stools, flipping through some of the drawing drafts he’s made with delicate fingers. he’ll turn then, half-dried paint on his fingertips and go to kiss her. she’ll laugh when she feels the coolness of the wet paint on her cheek, and he’ll feel terrible about it, but there’s not many worries that can be had when you’re standing in the shine of the afternoon sun, surrounded by art that you’re proud of and standing in front of the girl who brought you back to artistry. as far as the rest of his apartment goes, jihyun is very particular about color. he likes things to look nice and he appreciates things to be very calming in nature. the green kitchen is perfect for him because of this, and everything is always spotless. the only part of his home that’s ever a mess is his studio, but he knows where everything is.

and lastly we have saeran’s little getaway :) - of course, saeran stays close to saeyoung. they both end up moving to a really nice, secluded area where they feel safe. even after the issue with their father has been resolved, both of them feel safer if they’re away from the public. this actually ends up being great for saeran though, because it means that he has access to so many plants. so many. he can walk though his pretty summer garden outside to get to his greenhouse, and he loves being able to tend to all of the flowers there. it really is something that’s calming for him. plus, whenever he walks outside he can see saeyoung’s house and he can be reminded that he’s only a few steps away, so he’d make the trip often even without the flowers. his house is pretty small, but he can’t imagine wanting anything too big. it always smells really fresh in his house, like clean linens and citrus, but not the artificial kind. he just always has oranges somewhere in his house so fresh citrus is always there in the kitchen. he and the mc enjoy a really quiet life together in their house, and it’s honestly at this point that he feels the happiest. he likes being able to wake up in the morning and sit at their kitchen island together, a homemade breakfast in front of them and her head leaning on his shoulder.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mystic messenger headcanons #mysme headcanons #mysme hcs #zen mm #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #jihyun kim #v mystic messenger #saeran choi

356 notes · View notes

jihyuncompass · 3 years

Text

This Year

Happy Birthday Jihyun! It’s hard to believe this is my second year in a row writing a birthday fic for you. But of course it’s deserved. Even as time passes and I don’t have the time to play Mysme much anymore that has never changed the fondness I feel for you dear Jihyun. Happy Birthday <3

Jihyun Kim (V) x MC

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: N/A

----------------------------------------------------------------

V hiked up towards the top of the mountain. Looking up he could see the peak not too far into the distance. Not wanting to stop just yet he kept pushing ahead, he was so close to the top. Taking heavy breaths he quickened his pace, his heart beating heavy in his chest as he got closer.

Chest heaving he looked down and over the summit, he stood just above the low hanging clouds, still he could look down and take in the rolling green hills below, the trees that up close would be towering but from this height looked like toys. The scenery seemed to go on forever and ever. Around him was no noise beyond the sound of leaves in the breeze and birds flying nearby and his own heavy breaths. However, beyond that, there was no people, no cars, nothing but himself and nature.

He let his backpack fall to the ground beside him as he slipped the straps off of his shoulders. V remained standing for another minute to fully admire the scene in front of him catching his breath taken from him on the way up.

Finding a good spot V sat down on the ground. He stayed silent as he looked up towards the blue sky. Perfectly blue and warm even as the summer started to fade into autumn, for now though summer remained. As did the sun as it warmed his face.

Unzipping his hiking backpack he reached for the small bundle he’d packed away in there earlier, setting it down on the ground in front of him. Closing up his backpack he pushed it to the side just slightly then turned his attention to the bundle in front of him.

V separated the small containers from one another. He couldn’t pack much for this hike but he’d managed to include a small meal to eat at the summit of the mountain. V smiled only to himself as he took the lids off. He settled with his back against one of the trees, looking at the scenergy he dug into his lunch.

He took his time with his meal, wanting to savor every taste and every sight in front of him. Tomorrow he’d get on a plane to his next destination, last week he’d booked a ticket to a different place. Somewhere new for him to explore and enjoy, and for all he knew he wasn’t ever going to return to this place, so he would take in as much as he possibly could. Committing every part of this to his memory.

The final part of his meal was left in front of him, clearing the rest of the containers he took a moment before opening the last one. He sighed softly at the small slice of cake he’d gotten from a small bakery that morning. He’d spent almost ten minutes trying to decide which slice of cake he wanted to get. Eventually he’d settled on a slice of champagne flavored cake with vanilla frosting.

Sitting alone on the top of the mountain V quietly sang to himself, at the end pretending to blow out the invisible candle he’d imagined on top. Making his wish for this year, a much different wish than he’d asked for in the years before.

As a child birthdays always meant large lavish parties hosted by his father. Always lacking children V’s age. Usually the parties his father hosted for his birthday were attended by their extended family and his father’s friends. Some of them brought their own children along, but they either were much younger, or much older than him. So besides Jumin his birthdays were most often spent in a stuffy suit chatting with adults about school and his future plans.

He’d never enjoyed these parties, always so formal and more of a party for the adults than the child at the center of it, and every year he’d made the same wish. To be a son his father would be proud of.

Those parties stopped after the fire. Jihyun wasn’t interested in formal business birthdays. He wasn’t interested in his father’s friends or his world. Instead his birthdays were spent with Jumin or Rika. Going on vacations, drinking wine, enjoying peaceful quiet affairs to celebrate a new year of his life. Back then his birthday wishes had been much different, he’d wished for Rika’s happiness, or for his own success. He had been fine with that, enjoyed it even. However, that was the past now, a past that felt a million years old.

That year sitting on that mountain he made a brand new wish. This year, he wanted to be happy, and he wanted to be ready to go home.

Jihyun could recall that hike in great detail, the way the breeze ran through his hair, the sprawling trees on the way down the mountain, the formations of fluffy clouds, all of it stayed in his mind even after a year had passed.

Like that day a year ago Jihyun felt the warmth of the sun on his face. His eyes fluttered open to face his bedroom window. The sun was already high in the morning sky and bringing warmth throughout the whole room. Laying still he enjoyed the warmth of the blankets around him and the brightness of the sun on his face.

After laying like that for longer than he could count he sat up in bed. Stretching his arms over his head with a deep exhale. Next to him the other side of the bed was empty. The covers had been pushed aside but already cold.

Leaving the bedroom Jihyun glanced into the living room. They must have woken up a while ago, he couldn’t hear the shower running or cooking in the kitchen like he would have expected after waking up in the late morning.

He stood in the middle of the living room, looking for evidence of where his beloved had gone off too. The keys weren’t in the usual spot by the door, they must have gone out somewhere then.

Feeling the mystery solved Jihyun sat on the couch against the living room wall. His eyes landed on some of the framed photos on the wall. Some were prints from his former photography career, but most were photos from the last few months of his life. Photos with the members of the RFA, of his beloved, of him. Each one a snapshot of warm memories in his mind. Even the old ones from when he was V, those photos still managed to bring warmth to Jihyun’s heart.

The click of the lock on the front door brought Jihyun out of his thoughts. Not wasting a second Jihyun rose from his seat and walked through the apartment to meet them.

His heart swelled at the sight of his beloved, he smiled warmly as they met his eyes with a matching smile. They balanced a couple bags and box in their arms as they entered the apartment. Without a word Jihyun took the box and one of the bags from their arm to lighten the load.

“Good morning love.” Jihyun said, leaning forward to kiss his lover hello.

“Good morning Jihyun.” They whispered. “Happy birthday.” A larger smile grew on Jihyun’s lips.

“I woke up and you were already gone.” Jihyun said, stepping back to make his way to the kitchen. They followed behind him, shaking off their shoes in the process.

“I thought I could sneak out and get back before you woke up.” They said, “I figured since you and Jumin were up late together you’d sleep in longer.” They put the rest of the bags down next to the others. As they spoke they placed the items in the bags in their proper places in the fridge or cupboards.

Jihyun worked next to them doing the same process of putting the groceries away. “What are all of these for?” He asked.

“They’re for dinner tonight love.” They answered. “I figured since it’s just going to be the two of us tonight I should make a nice dinner for your birthday.” MC lifted the one box to put it next to the new groceries in the fridge. “And this is your birthday cake. Which you’re not allowed to look at yet.” They pointed at Jihyun with a teasing smile. “So no peeking okay?”

Jihyun nodded with a flair of drama. “I would never.”

“Oh really?”

“I wouldn’t!” Jihyun insisted.

“Sure.” MC laughed. “But I mean it, don’t peek until after dinner.” MC closed the fridge door.

“I promise.” Jihyun said with a sweet seriousness. “I’m looking forward to tonight.” Jihyun put an arm around their waist to bring them closer. Jihyun held them close. A year ago he could have only dreamed of getting to have this. Getting to hold them close, see them like this. Just be near them and able to say whatever it is that’s on his mind.

He must have been staring at them for a long time without saying anything because their expression changed. “Jihyun? What are you thinking about?”

Jihyun pulled them closer to kiss them, hardly able to contain the smile on his face as he did. Their hand travelled up to rest on his shoulder to keep him this close.

“I’m sorry.” Jihyun whispered when he eventually pulled away. “I just feel really happy.” He said. MC pulled him back in to kiss him again. They held each other close, both smiling in between kisses.

At that moment Jihyun knew what his birthday wish would be this year. For the first time in his life he wished for exactly what he had at this moment. He didn’t wish for anyone but himself, and he didn’t wish for some miracle. All he wanted was this. A million more moments just like this.

#mystic messenger #mysme #v #v mysme #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #v x reader #v x mc #no beta we die like [redacted]

68 notes · View notes

jafndaegur · 3 years

Text

Things Said and Unsaid

Jumin Han x MC

Mystic Messenger

a/n: now that the zine is long past, here is my story from the Garden of Eden Zine:) Enjoy!

Jumin twisted the flower stem between his fingers as he reclined further against the chair. Waxy pink petals mocked him in a way that he did not appreciate and the bright bloom weighed heavily, leaning forward in his careless grasp. He rested his chin on the back of his free hand, temple twitching at the not-quite perfect amount of wine for a buzz but enough for a headache.

MC's voice still floated in the air as if she'd just called about her final report for the RFA event.

"All of the flower arrangements are ready for the party," her voice was stilted over the phone even as she tried to be chipper.

Jumin wondered if she felt uncomfortable around him with everything said and done. "They'll look beautiful I'm sure." He reassured.

The pause and silence between them felt unnatural and constricting.

"What did you pick? For the bouquets." He finally peeped out, his voice rocking with concern. Had they always struggled with communicating? The memory of being able to freely converse with her, speaking of any little trivial thing that came to mind an easy and amusing way for him to pass the time. Surely he hadn’t ruined things so thoroughly during the time she had spent at the penthouse.

MC’s airy and pitched laugh reached his ears in a painful display of her discomfort. "That'd ruin the surprise."

And what a surprise it'd been.

Jumin had been eager, and even anxious, in awaiting her arrival to the party. Afterall they all owed its renewed existence to her. And he himself owed so much to her too. When they had parted the night before, V rightfully helping her return to the apartment, it had been with a tender apology. She'd embraced him—held him close and promised things would work out the way they should.

He wasn’t sure if it had been a lie or her convincing herself. Perhaps some odd adherration of both to her conviction.

The day of the party came, but MC did not.

It was obvious that Seven had hesitated his journey before finally making the reluctant trek to Jumin with a piece of paper in one hand and a tied bouquet of flowers in the other.

The pink camellia had seemed so bright and vibrant in the light of the ballroom. And even now in Jumin's hand, standing stark and vibrant, the bloom dazzled against the rest of his muted parlor decor. It smiled and flourished, and yet here he sat more dejected and more confused than ever.

Somehow, he managed his way back to the kitchen, where the rest of his bouquet lay abandoned on his dining room table—scattered petals and bulbs strewn across the wood top due to his careless toss of the bunch. He had been angry and frustrated at the time, but now he felt guilt tugging at the span of his ribs when he thought of the disregard he gave to her last gift to him. The note lay innocently next to it, as if trying to appease him with the gentle slope of MC's handwriting.

I've meant everything Jumin. Said and unsaid. I don't regret anything and I hope you won't either. But we both need this to move forward, I think this is what's right...I hope you'll see that. I've left you the best.

-MC

Among the flowers, pink carnations were the easiest to pick out. The petals crimped and wavy, and the blossoms themselves the most commonplace and plain. And yet MC had made sure the flowers had stayed nestled close amongst bushels of goldenrod. Another odd pick for a formal party. His eye for detail made things easy to recognize that beautiful hardworking and problem-solving touch MC made with every deliberate and precise choice. He knew that much. From the sorrel that warmly held everything together, to the pink camellias blushing prettily at the center wrapped in forget-me-nots.

In times such as these Jumin realized he had one consultant he could count on, a source where information passed easily from itself to him. Where he could learn unhindered and without bias about the best that MC left behind for him. Because surely, she did not simply mean the best flowers from the bunch. She was too clever for that.

He found himself at a library, in the area with the farmer's almanacs and horticulture how-tos. It was an aisle he frequented when seeking answers to inquiries about his vineyard.

Heavy and cumbersome, he found an encyclopedic tome titled Whispers from the Flowers. It was an odd name but upon opening it he found satisfaction knowing that his assumption on its topic had been correct. The flower language. Something not in a million years he imagined himself researching. But for MC, he would do anything. And his beloved left behind one very, very important clue. "Things said and unsaid." And he hoped it was more than a mere sentimental way of saying she left him behind regardless of whether or not she was able to relay all she wished to.

Jumin found the index at the back of the book, searching for sorrel first. MC had meticulously ensured that the green and stringy plant entwined itself around the main bouquet like a cradle. It was hardly a flower and yet the vibrancy of it added life and color outside of the thematic pink hues of the other blooms. Affection. Sorrel is the gateway to confessions and the key to unlocking the heart—it lays bare the raw and pure emotion of those who offer it. His fingers danced over the words, tracing the letters with the faintest of smiles. MC's disappearance seemed like a rather large lack of said-affection, but he knew there had to be further explanation. And all answers resided within the little puzzle she had set aside just for him.

Because she knew and understood he had every capability to solve it. He hoped.

Encouragement. Good fortune. Goldenrod offers the same blade with two edges. One of well wishes and the other of outstretched hands. It is an easy flower to convey both farewells and prosperity.

Jumin’s breath curled within his chest and his fingers hovered. “Farewells.” It was a mutter, something that he dare not speak more than a whisper. MC left behind hide nor hair of her existence. The memory of her laugh and gilded eyes were the only proof he could offer. Yet somewhere amongst the agonizing pull in his chest as he read the summary over and over again, he feared that she had truly meant her goodbye hidden within these flowers.

He knew his own faults had greatly weighed upon her decision to leave with Jihyun that day. But had he really ruined things so much that she chose never to see any of them again to escape him? Were all affections between them nullified because of his shortcomings.

Breath hitched and his fists clenched the book. Memories of true love. Forget-me-nots are the staple flower of sweet love. Anyone gifting their sweetheart with these iconic blooms know every moment spent with their true love will be cherished and treasured. Jumin’s brow furrowed. Contradictory. This was all so illogical and contradictory. If he had not just recently gone through a week-long anxiety attack and now the loss of the woman he had planned to propose to, he’d chalk these meanings up to happenstance and throw the book into the closest recycling bin. But everything said had been meant. And everything unsaid had been meant. He needed for his own sanity and for his own comprehension to know if these flowers truly enveloped MC’s feelings for him. Or if he was just a fool trying to pry into a love that was never his to keep.

“I’ll never forget you.”

A shudder. The words flowed past his lips as he read the phrase mechanically. “I’ll never forget you.” Each utterance a tremor to his heart as the walls constricted and shook.

I’ll never forget you. Pink carnations are easily the most misused and the most misunderstood. Believed to be a simpleton’s flower, the meaning behind this bloom is often lost due to being handed out of context. It’s beautiful and pastel color can often be misleading. It is a mournful flower, often handed at the cusp of goodbye. A beautiful tendril to remember a fleeting yet vibrant romance.

The search through the index for the last flower was a trembling one. Jumin’s fingers skimmed the crisp paper gentle against his skin as he tried to account his increasing pulse to apprehension or suspense. He was approaching the last piece of MC’s riddle and good or bad—real or not—he had been able to come to some conclusion about their parting. About their romance. About them.

His vision blurred and he felt the world spin.

A note had been tucked away close to the spine where the pages parted. It was a small envelope, no bigger than an index card. “Jumin” had been scripted neatly on the front, and on the back, there was a little flower drawn over the edge of the opening flap. He recognized MC’s handwriting anywhere. Impulse struck a chord with his nerves and he plucked the note quickly before forcing himself to slow down. He wanted to finish this mission.

Pink camellias. Longing for you.

No more waiting. Jumin dropped the book and tore the envelope open. His heart pitter-pattered and he double took the gentle slope of that oh-so familiar handwriting. The gentle sweep and slant of her penmanship was obvious the moment he gazed upon the ink. There before him, tiny and hopeful, was a phone number. He'd arrived at the end of her puzzle with a growing smile, shaking his head with a fond chuckle. His finger brushed the new note.

"You can be greedy, you know," he whispered reverently. "Around me don't worry. Whatever fears or struggles we may have to face, we'll figure them out together. You don't have to hold back for my sake or for yours."

He pulled two business cards from his wallet, placing one in the forget-me-knots section and the other in the section about pink camellias. Satisfied, he closed the book and walked to the front desk where the head librarian sat typing away on the computer. Noticing his approach, they gave him a warm smile. Holding out their hand, the librarian inclined their head.

"Got everything you need?"

Jumin nodded and handed the book over. "I will soon enough. In the meantime, could you place this on hold? A friend is going to pick it up."

"Of course," the librarian nodded. "Name and number."

"Han MC," Jumin decided with a touch of humor, a welcomed break to his multi-day anxiety high, before reciting the number from the note.

The person assured him that MC would be notified and that the book would be on hold for the next twenty-four hours. He bowed his head slightly and graciously thanked them before heading to the car where Driver Kim awaited. There was so little time to get ready but he wanted to make the most of this anticipation that clung to his lungs with baited breath.

#mystic messenger #mysme #mysme jumin han #jumin han x mc #mysme jumin

78 notes · View notes

amee-racle-ofmyown · 3 years

Text

Things you said when you thought I was asleep

Request from a friend on IG | V/Jihyun Kim x gender neutral reader | Words: 1095 | prompt list

The cabin was quiet, Seven and Vanderwood were in another room, leaving you with the man currently asleep in the bed before you. Perhaps it was just the lighting but it felt to you as if the life had been drained out of him; his mint hair appeared more like a cool shade of blue than its usual semi-cyan. It almost matched the splashes you'd seen covering his clothes and the cell floor when Rika had taken you down to her castle's basement, save for the eerie glow that set it starkly apart from the "elixir" Ray had offered you.

Thanks to Vanderwood, the toxins had mostly left V's body, but he still needed rest. He constantly drifted in between consciousness and sleep, and you hadn't wanted to leave him alone, dreading the thought of him waking up with no one around to reassure him. So you sat by his side, refusing to leave even as he slept. Occasionally you would take his hand in yours, in hope that it might ease his subconscious mind.

Nursing him during the day, it was easier to take your mind off the events that had taken place over the past several days. It was in moments like this when you waited silently that thoughts caused your head to spin and reel, straining to process everything that had happened in such a short space of time. Ray had been right in that it truly felt like forever ago when you first followed a stranger's words to that mysterious and undoubtedly dangerous yet hauntingly beautiful place and began chatting to V and the rest of RFA.

Images and feelings burned your memory like a silent wildfire. Rika's agonised, tear-streaked face as you snuck away. The feeling of V's hand desperately tugging your own, Ray's panicked shrieks and cries. You felt like you were being torn apart in different directions and it was getting difficult to handle but you did your best to stay patient.

You wanted nothing more than for all this to be over peacefully. For no one else to get hurt. You felt a dull ache in your head.

You could attempt to distract yourself, maybe by checking the chatroom… but Ray might notice and you didn't have the energy to talk to him right now. Not when your mind was swimming like this.

It wasn't that you didn't care for him at all, you still worried for him and the fact that it was evident that he was being manipulated. But there was no doubt that whatever he'd done to V had been with intent to cause harm. Intentionally or not, Ray had guilted you into feeling bad for leaving suddenly, but frankly you were far more concerned with ensuring V's recovery.

You felt your eyes sting slightly. What could he possibly have done to make them both resent him so much? Even Seven, who had previously seemed to trust him whole-heartedly, sounded doubtful and implied he had a lot of explaining to do.

The V you know was kind and gentle, you could hear the smile in his voice when he greeted you over the phone, the slightly flustered tone when you complimented him. His voice was even and soothing and wrapped around your heart like a comforting blanket. He spoke to you with warmth even when you called in the dead of night. And you'd inevitably learned just how hard he was trying to assure your safety. You could tell that he cared deeply for his friends and wanted them to be healthy and happy. And he'd made you feel so welcome, like you were one of them. Like you would always have a home with RFA.

Thinking of that brought a small smile to your lips, and the churning in your mind subsided a bit.

The man shifted in his sleep, likely consumed by another fever nightmare.

'Mm…. Sun.. Rika….. Sae... nnh… sorry…'

You frowned a little and extended a gentle hand toward his face, brushing a few blue strands aside and placing the back of it against his forehead. His skin didn't burn as fiercely as it had before, but he was almost certainly feverish nonetheless. You were tempted, so tempted, to press your lips tenderly against the warm skin as you removed your hand, but you held back, instead taking a small face cloth from the bedside table. You briefly left to soak it in cold water, squeezing it out and returning to place it on his forehead.

You opened a window to let in a gentle breeze, hoping his fever would come down somewhat. It was a hot spring evening and you could hear the low buzz of crickets outside.

Settling again at the man's side, you gazed at his face, tracing his features with your tired eyes. You couldn't help but note how handsome he looked, even in such a fragile state.

'You're going to be fine,' you said calmly but firmly, aware that he couldn't acknowledge your words, which may have been to reassure yourself more than anything.

'We're going to be fine. You're going to get better and when you do, we'll work through this whole mess, step by step, together. And you won't sacrifice yourself or have to keep secrets anymore and everyone will be okay and we'll live happy lives and I'll tell you everything I feel and-'

The crack in your voice caught your attention before the tears burning your eyes, blurring your vision and threatening to topple out. You quickly rubbed them away and took a deep breath.

'You did all you could to protect me. Now it's my turn to take care of you.'

You continued speaking words of comfort, eventually talking about all manner of trivial things, even if you believed no one was listening but you.

Little did you know your words reached him, just barely, like sunlight piercing thick fog at the bottom of a deep chasm where he wandered through the murky depths of the hazy plane between waking and dreams. He could scarcely grasp your voice but he wanted to latch onto it, to cling to it like a lifeline as his body fought the lasting effects of the poison substances he'd been forced to consume. A part of him wanted to give in, to throw himself further into the abyss. But your presence pleaded with him to stay.

Your voice, though at times distorted, and constantly slipping in and out of his subconscious, was enough for him to hold on as he let you pull him through.

109 notes · View notes