After a year full of mass layoffs across probably hundreds of companies, AAA, AA and indie, I'm not really vibing with the game awards this year Geoff!!!!

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 269 “Wilk’s way of doing things”

So we’re finally dealing with a new chapter in which we can say...

...yeah, poor Wilk... as while yes, he was also responsible for his own downfall, what happened to him was surely terrible.

The first page is a quick summary of how the Ainu killed each over conveniently letting Wilk alive and not having him kill a single soul.

For start we can see Wilk is the only one who’s apparently without a rifle (his right hand looks empty at least). We can also see that the group split basically in two, a part is pro-Wilk (or, at least, let’s-not-kill-Wilk) and the other is let’s-murder-him-right-now.

So, Irenka (pro-Wilk) places himself in front of Wilk. He has a rifle but doesn’t seem to aim to shoot anyone, just to defend Wilk and calm things down.

Oskeporo (kill-Wilk) aims at them with his rifle and is knocked out by Mesira (pro-Wilk).

Ratci (kill-Wilk), who’s a friend of Oskeporo, aims his rifle at them.

Irenka gets shoot and, same as Tamai did, as he dies accidentally shoot and seems to hit Oskeporo who, fires as well.

At this point things are a bit hazy.

Siromakur, who seemed to be in the let’s- not-kill-Wilk team before (he was shown at Wilk’s side), is shown bleeding from a hole in his chest. Was he the one hit by Oskeporo. The guy is supported or used as a human shield by Sukuta. We see a knife in the image but that one is actually Siromaku’s if the  draws on the handle has to be believed. It’s clear Siromakur isn’t the one holding it as we can see both his arms so they probably took it from him.

The next image shows us Ratci firing, the knife in his belly.

The very last image shows Oskeporo and Sukuta on the ground, likely dead.

Yeah, there’s plenty of holes in this page who’s just meant to drive home Wilk didn’t kill anyone, the other Ainu just started shooting, some by purpose, some by accident, some in self defence.

Possibly Siromakur didn’t kill anyone either, I’m not sure.

The image is not really clear on what exactly happened because Noda wants to keep it secret some details for a little longer.

Anyway we see Ratci crawling away and, interesting enough, two more bullets being shoot behind him. He also hears something being said but we don’t get what it was.

The only Ainu of the rebels group that weren’t shown dying or being wounded to death was Mesira… but it’s hard to tell if he didn’t go shoot earlier since the images showed us so little.

We flash forward a little to Kikuta questioning a dying Ratci, asking him if Wilk was killed too and if others survived. Ratci dies before answering and the group then collects his body along with the heads of the other 6 Ainu, which were cut from their bodies. The total dead count is 7.

Usami wonders about who chopped their bodies since there should have been 7 Ainu and now their heads are all accounted for.

He tries to pick up Irenka’s head to see the head slip out of the skin which is something I expected. Usami figures out all the heads were skinned and the skins swapped around. He also notices the heads are missing eyes.

All this doesn’t faze Tsurumi in the slightest. He correctly figures one of those skinned head should have belonged to Kimuspu, which would mean that there were 8 Ainu.

We’ve a flashback in which Kimuspu is shown wounded and holding a rifle which means the group had keep him alive and he had taken part to the battle. That’s probably why we weren’t shown the full battle in the intro page, to hid he was involved as well.

Tsurumi, holding the head covered with Wilk’s skin in a Hamlet’s fashion, then easily sums up Wilk’s plan.

The Ainu were 8 and Wilk used Kimuspu (which nobody knew was among them) to fake his own death.

The eyes were then removed because Wilk’s eyes were distinctive.

He then seems to kiss Wilk’s skin… and I’m starting to think this might be where his affinity with Edogai was born.

We’re then shown the cover...

...and it’s an image we should be very familiar with as we saw it in chap 1 and used again when Inkarmat wanted to push fowward her Kiro culprit theory in chap 116.

The Ainu are on the ground and a man, Nopperabou, stand above them. Only this time we can see that the man standing above them is Wilk, not Kiro as Tsurumi told Inkarmat and, of course, despite surviving Wilk isn’t the one who did the killing.

Usami notices that people is coming, they’re the gold panners and the hunters who should have head the shoots during the night and are coming to check what happened.

Tsurumi split his forces, Usami is to go at the health resort facility at Noboribetsu (remember? The one in which Kikuta was) and call reinforcements while Kikuta remains there and secure the area. Tsurumi will instead pursue Wilk.

As Tsurumi leaves Usami notices Kikuta pensitive gaze. Kikuta is worried about Ariko. He wonders who will tell him the truth as he thinks Ariko will be upset to discover they were involved in his father’s death.

Usami says there’s no need to tell him as they merely told Ariko’s father about Wilk’s identity and it was the group of Ainu which tore itself apart.

Kikuta points out how their plan relied on sewing discord in the group...

...which yes, it’s true, although Tsurumi clearly didn’t want them to murder each other BEFORE confessing where the gold was. He was hoping to reach them before they all would die, this was a miscalculation on his part.

But this little scene traces a difference between Usami and Kikuta.

While Usami doesn’t really care about how this will affect others (namely Ariko) and doesn’t feel responsible for the consequences of their actions, Kikuta does.

Usami lives in denial of his own sins, where Kikuta looks straight at them, which matches with how he’s a man who told Sugimoto in hell they’ll be rolling the red carpet for him. Kikuta knows what he’s doing is wrong, Usami doesn’t even stop to think if it is, or if it can have consequences on the others.

The following scene shows Sugimoto and Shiraishi meeting up with Ariko (evidently they managed not to get discover despite their car crash… no idea how since they should have made noise worth checking… unless Nikaidou also has left his guard post?).

We also gets a panel of Kikuta looking down under the rain. No idea what he’s watching but he’s sure sad and, I bet, he’s thinking at Ariko.

The fact that he and Ariko are on the same page yet divided by the panel with Sugimoto and Shiraishi is meaningful.

There’s a tie between this two men… but there’s also something between them.

Meanwhile Tsurumi goes on in his narration.

He’s impressed by Wilk’s resolve to cut away his face. He figured Wilk, given the situation, expected to be labelled as the murderer and was worried of how this would affect Asirpa.

Thanks Tsurumi, after such a gruesome story, Asirpa really needed you to push on her the blame of her father’s actions. I get you want to manipulate her but this can also backfire because it proves Wilk’s actions were done out of love for her.

Anyway Tsurumi is just impressed by how Wilk not only came up with such plan but could also manage to carry it to execution quickly as cutting his own face off isn’t something a person would be able to do.

I agree and I would say it’s not just for the unbearable pain and the psychological trauma but also because it doesn’t seem that easy to do. I would expect a person to end up cutting a muscle or a blood vessel. But whatever, it’s a manga, and I’m not really an expert in skinned faces… and I like to remain as such, so let’s go on.

Tsurumi anyway thinks the plan was perfect if not for a detail, HE was the one chasing Wilk.

This isn’t said for a lack of modesty. Tsurumi just knew Wilk, he recognized his skinned face, he figured out his plan and, when he sees an Ainu with his face bandaged, he immediately recognizes him as Wilk due to the colour of his eyes. Another person, who had never met Wilk, might not have managed to do so.

Add to this that Wilk makes a mistake because he too recognizes Tsurumi (who back then looked a lot more like his younger self as he wasn’t disfigured yet), calling him ‘Hasegawa-san’ and giving away his identity.

Tsurumi doesn’t tell us what happened after.

There’s clearly a timeskip and then we’re shown Wilk escaping on the lake, Tsurumi shooting at him and causing Wilk to end in the water and the boat to sink.

Among the things that sank there was Kimuspu’s face, which Wilk has taken away. Tsurumi runs, trying to reach Wilk but Wilk, after discharging his Ainu clothes, is faster at reaching a prison lodge where convicts were kept illegally.

Wilk asks who’s the boss of the guards, who’s of course nothing else but ‘slave-convict-trader’ Inudou, who was of course abusing of his power to illegally use prisoners in that area as well.

Wilk tell them about the 7 dead Ainu and claims to be the one who know the location where those Ainu hid the gold.

As the 7th division couldn’t get around with the people ruling the prison the result is that the guards carry Wilk to the prison in secret and Wilk becomes Nopperabout.

Asirpa asks Sofia about Kiroranke and Sofia explains once he freed himself Kiro began to search for Kimuspu as well and, while doing so, he heard the commotion and ended up on the crime scene while the 7th division was carrying away the bodies of the Ainu. He saw Wilk’s head being carried away as well and crumbled on his knees, crying and mourning Wilk.

No matter how mad he was at Wilk for his own decision, back then Kiro was still his friend and cared for him. He even wondered if he would be able to understand him by starting his own family in Hokkaido.

However, once he was back from the Russo-Japanese war he hears the rumour that Kimuspu was among the Ainu corpses. An Ainu testified that due to him recognizing the tattoos on Kimuspu’s hands.

Due to this Kiro too starts piecing together things.

He believed the Ainu had let Kimuspu go once they gotten the location of the gold… but now that he knew they were 8 and only 7 bodies were found he believed one of them killed the other 7.

Hijikata coming to ask about Asirpa, the rumours about Nopperabou and the tattoo code… all lead Kiro to think that Wilk is Nopperabou… and, likely, that Wilk was the killer.

Kiro goes on saying despite having a family in Hokkaido he couldn’t arrive to the same conclusion as Wilk, he still believes that if the gold was used for the Far Eastern Federation this would protect the Hokkaido Ainu too.

Kiro thinks barricading themselves away was a pathetic way of thinking that would never allow them to win against Russia or Japan.

Tsurumi nods in agreement.

I’ll discuss my two cents in a while.

We’ve then a flashback in which Kiro gives the sign and Wilk is shoot and then we see Kiro’s expression.

His eyes… are void of light but not black, grey as he thinks that Wilk was a wolf within the pack who has grown weak and that therefore Kiro followed the “way of the wolves” Wilk admired and did Wilk the kindness of killing him. As he says so we see a flashback of Kiro, Wilk and Sofia drinking together and being happy, Kiro with his arm around Wilk and trying to get him to drink something and Wilk holding Kiro’s wrist.

Although Sofia is included so that they look a single unit, a single ‘body’, it’s clear the picture focuses more on Kiro and Wilk, in how they touch each other, in how their heads are close.

It’s not meant to be romantic, it’s meant to deliver how those two men were close, as close as two best friends could be in the past.

So okay, let’s go back.

I think I lost count of how many times I criticized Wilk’s plan, both the early one the ‘Far Eastern Federation’ and the new one the ‘Free Hokkaido only’ plan not because they’re wrong per se but because they’re horribly planned so this time I’ll spare you of them.

I’ll discuss a bit of the why Kiro, despite making a family in Hokkaido doesn’t just switches like Wilk.

The key is likely that Kiro, differently from Wilk, had no reason to switch.

Let’s go back a little. In the flashbacks located in Russia Wilk was presented like an idealist, his plan a beautiful utopia for which he was willing to bet his own life and the one of his teammates.

He has lost his village, likely his parents were already dead and he was on his own. Sure, he was friend with Kiro and later with Sofia but their attachment for them was, compared to his own goal, his own ideal, minor. He has devoted his life to that goal and that’s it.

And because no one is special in his eyes “All are equal” among the minorities.

That’s also what allows him to keep a cold, practical mind setting, that he doesn’t get deeply attached.

When he moved to Hokkaido he did a mistake.

Well, no, it’s not a real mistake, it’s just something that caused him to shift priorities.

He grew more attached to his wife and child than he was to his goal.

His priorities shifted and so he could sacrifice part of his goal for the benefit of his Hokkaido family, which he prioritized and, in sacrificing his goal, he accepted he could sacrifice all his Russian allies who had fought with him.

He wasn’t anymore ready to do everything he could to give ALL the minorities freedom.

He wanted to give freedom to his daughter’s minority, if the other minorities wanted to benefit of the freedom he planned to gain for the Hokkaido Ainu, they would have to come to compromise, give up their land, their customs. He would be still willing to help them but at his own conditions as they weren’t anymore part of his priorities.

It’s absolutely human… but it’s also a betrayal of the cause, of his ideal who used to held all the minorities as all EQUAL.

Now, “All are equal, but some are more equal than others.”

For Kiro instead the problem is different.

Kiro has built attachment for the Russian side, attachment that lies especially in Sofia but possibly he also had other companions he cared about. He couldn’t be as cold as Wilk, which means he was more emotionally involved in them.

In fact Kiro’s point as they argued was that “HOKKAIDO never had anything to do with them in the first place”, meaning deep down he prioritized the Russian minorities among whom he lived from childhood and fought together than Hokkaido in which he transferred only recently. He views Russia as his homeland, he views his people as the ones who live in Karafuto and in the Russian far east.

In a desperate attempt to understand Wilk he tries to build himself a home in Hokkaido… but it never worked. Contrary to what some part of the fandom thinks, Kiro NEVER sees himself as an Hokkaido Ainu, he sees his children as Hokkaido Ainu, he’s a Tartar with Karafuto blood from his grandmother side.

In short, marrying with an Ainu whom he loves and having children whom he loves helped him to INCLUDE Hokkaido in his priorities, not in demoting Russia from them.

Therefore, where Wilk started from an “All (minorities) are equal” and then moved to an “All (minorities) are equal, but some are more equal than others” Kiro did the opposite.

That’s why having an Hokkaido family doesn’t help him to embrace Wilk’s idea they should have prioritized Hokkaido but, if anything, pushes him to place Hokkaido and Russia on the same place.

He wants Sofia and Asirpa to join forces also because in this way they will become guarantors for both Russia and Hokkaido, they’ll protect the interests of both parties, of the countries he now both loves. And this too is a human view, same as Wilk’s was, even if it sits at the opposite extreme.

On a sidenote I wonder if the experience in which the Hokkaido Ainu slaughtered each other opened Wilk’s eyes and pushed him to realize that he’s an outsider, that he can’t hope he could just unite and lead them. But whatever, that’s just food for thoughts, it can be he escaped in that direction merely because it was the most convenient direction in which to escape for him and the speculations he was running in that way to bring the gold back to his Russian companions done by various cast members were just that, speculations.

Last but not least, Kiro’s reasoning as he killed Wilk.

We know that Kiro isn’t really that good at murdering people.

He can do it just fine in the heat of the battle or when he sees them as enemies (the Russian guards, the Russian soldiers) but not when he’s up close to them. He lacks Wilk’s coldness, which is what pushed him to hesitate when tossing the bomb to the emperor.

After all his weapon of choice, explosive, is a weapon that allows people to keep distance with their victims and it’s perfect for avoiding to get an empathic connection with them. Murdering people up close is a lot harder.

Although Inkarmat got in the way he didn’t mean to kill her and when she got stabbed by accident his first reaction was to try to help her, when Tanigaki let him know he was there to avenge Inkarmat he didn’t feel like finishing him off and he didn’t want Ogata to shoot Sugi.

Wilk though had betrayed them when he made clear he didn’t plan anymore to pursue their partisan group’s goal, circumstances paint him as the Ainu murderer and the fact he’s entrusting the gold to Hijikata, a Wajin, and Asirpa, Asirpa who has no idea about the other minorities, only worsen the picture.

Wilk, the NEW WILK who killed the OLD WILK and betrayed them, had to die.

It’s something Kiro likely knew Wilk had to die even before the Ainu incident, because partisans killed who betrayed them, yet he wasn’t ready to face, in fact, as soon as he believed Wilk died, he broke down and cried.

When it turned out Wilk instead survived, he could have been the one behind the Ainu murder and acted none the wiser by basically entrusting the gold to Hijikata, killing him for betrayal at that point was mandatory.

Yet the mental gimmick Kiro does to manage to condemn Wilk is interesting. Not only he has Ogata do the job but manages to persuade himself he’s doing Wilk a favour. The NEW WILK is a WEAK WILK and, according to Wilk’s ideas about ‘the way of the wolves’, the weak has to be killed.

Basically Kiro persuades himself he’s not hurting Wilk, he’s doing it an act of kindness according Wilk’s own mind setting (Kiro had no idea why Wilk was called as such but the volume version added a scene in which Wilk saw a lone wolf and talked with him and Hasegawa about ‘the way of the wolves’ so Kiro knew about it).

That’s probably why the image shows us a Kiro with no light in his eyes, a Kiro who’s blinding himself to the truth with a lie to cope with the guilt of killing his best friend otherwise he’ll probably break.

And this probably ties in with how, when their group was threatened by the Russian border guards, Kiro exposed himself to save the Orok and then called it ‘Kamuy Renkayne’, “thanks to the Gods”. What Kiro did is similar to what Sekiya was doing.

Before acting Kiro thought at how they murdered the Emperor, which is likely why they are held under fire but was also the moment in which Wilk, with an amazing coldness, grabbed the bomb and took care to correct Kiro’s mistake by placing the bomb in the royal coach. He likely gained Kiro’s loyalty with that act.

And by taking an amazing personal risk Kiro basically tested the will of the Gods to prove himself if he was right or wrong. If the Gods hadn’t spared him then his actions toward Wilk were wrong.

On a sidenote… it’s not a common occurrence for wolves to kill a weak wolf.

Normally they actually protect the weak in their pack by bringing them food and by defending them from larger predators because they’re like a big family, although they won’t hesitate to kill wolves that don’t belong to their pack, weak or not.

Wolves kill or drive out of the pack a silk or a weak or an old wolf only if they’re in conditions of great stress, for example if food is scarce.

Long story short, I’m more tempted to think the wolf Wilk saw as a child was killed not merely because he was weak but because he didn’t belong to the pack of wolves which found him.

Probably that wolf was kicked out by his own pack, trespassed into the area of another pack and was killed.

Anyway the irony is great and tragic.

We saw Wilk killing a member of his group due to ‘the way of the wolves’ mind setting and probably part of this mind setting is what made him cold when Hasegawa daughter and child were killed or when he left behind Sofia or now, that he decided only Hokkaido had to be saved… and yet this mind setting came back to bite him when his friend judged him through the same lens Wilk used to judge others.

His pack came back to him, only to get rid of him because he has grown weak in a perfect application of the contrappasso law.

Still, I’m sad for Asirpa. She didn’t deserve to see it.

But well, with this we likely have finished with the flashback for now… unless they’re going to include how the cat alliance formed, which I doubt as I expect Noda to save it for another time.

So, with the murder of the Ainu out of the way and all the tattooed convicts tracked down all that remains for the plot is to solve the code.

Oh well, we’ll see where this will lead us.

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 6.12}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.6k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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She took another deep breath, then held out her hand to him. "Would you do me the honor and dance with me?"

For a few seconds, Snape merely stared up at Robin in both shock and awe. Then he glanced down at her hand, and back up to her face with an entirely incredulous expression. "You cannot be serious..."

"You know me far better than to doubt that." She replied in utmost sincerity, then gave him that certain smile that was only reserved for him. "Dance with me."

He hesitated for another second, or perhaps merely used the time to wonder, but then he slowly placed his hand in hers and rose to his feet while his eyes never left hers. Only when they started making their way through the hall, towards the open space and the music, he wrapped his hand around hers entirely, switching their positions to take the lead. Robin didn't mind in the least, in fact she could hardly believe that she had found the courage to ask him at all, and even less that he had agreed.

They arrived on the dancefloor in perfect time with the end of the song, and Robin suddenly found herself incredibly glad that she didn't have the mind to pay attention to her surroundings. She had no doubt that people were staring, at both of them, at them together. But she found that in the very moment, she didn't care.

His eyes stayed on hers as he moved in closer, holding onto her hand while placing his other on her back ever so carefully, on that delicate part of her ribcage, and her body responded with an immediate shiver in delight. Honestly, dancing had never felt quite so publicly intimate, so wonderfully close and terribly far apart at once. Taking a deep breath, Robin got into position as well, just in time for the music to start.

"Are you certain you want to ruin your reputation by dancing with me?" He asked quietly, and yet his hold on her tightened ever so slightly as they started to move.

"I'm certain that there is nothing left to ruin." She replied with a small smile, the barest hint of a tease, and yet the deepest truth. "There is no one I would rather be with than you. I don't care what anyone says about that."

The barest hint of a smile ghosted over his face, for only a speckle in time, before fading from his lips and lingering in his eyes alone. He didn't say any more after that, and neither did Robin, as they danced only for themselves in a world of music, a world without people. Who needed a ball when two beings and a simple melody sufficed to delight one so entirely? Robin couldn't have cared less if the world around them had ended, she wouldn't have noticed in the least.

But once the music was what ended, the piece finished, and they came back to stand still while the world began moving instead, she unfortunately had to resurface from her illusion. The world wasn't just the two of them… they were but grains in the social machinery around them.

"Thank you for the dance." Robin said quietly before he could, smiling, even though she missed the warmth of his hand on her back when he let go.

"I believe that should be my text." He quipped in return, and Robin's smile widened ineffably.

"Well, I was the one asking you to dance in the first place, so I ought to thank you as well. For doing me the honour, and for making it such a pleasure." She reasoned, amused by his attempt at keeping a straight face. It was entirely adorable how he got flustered over compliments every single time, and even more endearing how hard he tried to hide it. But he couldn't hide from Robin, not truly, not without immense efforts.

"Minerva didn't exaggerate last year when she gushed about your skill at dancing. You are… good, indeed. In fact, I believe I have never had a more adept partner." He finally replied, and a warm rush of pride filled Robin's chest immediately. That certainly was a reputation she wanted to uphold. Not just in dancing.

"Makes me wonder what horrible partners you must've had before." She smirked, quirking an eyebrow at him in an obvious tease, and they started making their way off the dancefloor. "Actually, I-..."

"Excuse me…" None other than Damion Morgan stepped into their path, out of nowhere, and strategically blocked their escape from the open space. Every muscle in Robin's body tensed in an instant. "Seeing as Miss Mitchell is without any permanent company tonight, I believe I may very well steal her from you for a dance, huh, Severus?"

No! No no no no… Robin's mind screamed in protest, but her body seemed unwilling to transmit the statement. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, or at least to ask her for a dance instead of assuming that he needed someone else's approval but not hers. Even then she would've said no, or at least she would've wanted to. Ever since her birthday, she had been following through with the change of strategy and laid low, playing the submission almost too well. It disgusted her, quite honestly, but she had promised to Snape that she would do it, and it actually had resulted in less trouble with Morgan indeed. The dynamics between them had definitely shifted, on the surface at least, but Robin wasn't quite sure what actually lay beneath that. Damion Morgan still was a mystery to her, and not one of the good kind. And he was still waiting for an answer.

The fact that Snape was hesitating made Robin look up at him, but quite honestly she understood his struggle. It was safe to say that neither of them wanted her to dance with Morgan, but on the other hand, her act demanded her to agree to do so anyway. Robin knew that Snape had absolutely no reason to say no, no means to save her. It wasn't his decision, and Morgan very well knew that. He was playing his own game with them, and this time Robin couldn't change the rules without losing her own game in return. So when she looked up at Snape, he returned her gaze as both an apology and a warning. There was no decision to be made.

"As you quite correctly observed, I am not accompanying Miss Mitchell to the ball tonight. That however does not change the fact that you should be asking her if she will dance with you." Snape finally turned to scowl at Morgan, giving a reply as monotonous as ever, and yet he gave Robin's hand a subtle squeeze before letting go. She knew he was sorry for this… She was too.

"Well?" Morgan turned to Robin without wasting a heartbeat, smiling widely as always and holding his hand out to her, and she knew that she had no choice. With a polite but cold smile, she accepted his hand and let him lead her back to the dancefloor.

They got into position without further ado, and when the music began, they followed the gestus of the dancing couples around them. All the while, Robin had to suppress the desperate wish to chop his hand off for lingering on her waist. Better her waist than her ribs though, even if he was technically doing it wrong. She had no intention to tell him, and kept her nervous and fragile facade up like she ought to.

"Do you have any idea how many girls would love to switch places with you right now?" Morgan smiled at her smugly, and Robin only shook her head. She knew that he was right, the females of Hogwarts adored him, but she had never understood why. Never would want to understand it either.

"You know why I picked you though?" He asked on, but didn't give her any time to answer before doing so himself. "Because I took pity. When the only man willing to dance with you is Severus… Let's say I thought even you deserve a little better."

For a moment, Robin wondered if he was serious about this or if he had seen through her act and was trying to break her facades. Because honestly, he was getting dangerously close to that point right now. And if Robin had given in to her impulses yet another time tonight, she wouldn't have stopped at such simple torture as she had before. How dare he insult Snape like that... it filled her with a seething heat and anger. But she forced her emotions behind the walls in her head, swallowed both her pride and the blinding white hatred, and instead looked up at Morgan with a blinding smile instead. Always the damsel in distress.

"That is very considerate of you." She said in a whisper, for she wouldn't have been able to keep her voice from rasping. "Perhaps… Professor Snape too only danced with me for pity's sake."

"You don't know Severus, my dear…" Morgan huffed out a bitter laugh, sneering to himself as his hand dropped even lower to rest on Robin's hip. "He sets fire to the world around himself, but he never lets a single flame touch you."

The words sent a chill down Robin's spine, neither in fear nor in excitement, or perhaps it was both. Was it really that noticeable that Snape treated her differently? Probably. He never made a secret of it in class either, even if he usually called her by her last name then and kept the dialogue to an appropriate minimum. Somehow, at this point class felt more unnatural than their other meetings did. But that didn't mean that Morgan ought to know how close they were. Did he even know?

Robin kept her head straight either way, which allowed her to barely gaze over Morgan's shoulders. When they turned, her eyes found Snape standing among the observing crowd at the edge of the dancefloor, conversing with Dumbledore while still keeping an eye on her though. She was glad he was still nearby and not back at their table, even if in the company of the headmaster. The only other person whose mystery Robin couldn't quite solve. But at least Dumbledore was a neutral mystery, not a dreadful one.

"You never talk much, do you?" Morgan asked, sighing, and a mere moment later he almost made her trip over his legs. Very much on purpose, of course.

"I doubt that you would find interest in anything I have to say." Robin replied politely, and she had to admit that while she hadn't said much but for the occasional snarky comment during her time of superior neutrality over Morgan, she now said even less. Almost nothing, actually.

"Oh, don't make yourself so small, little songbird." He chuckled in an almost condescendingly empathetic manner. "I have always enjoyed that sharp tongue of yours… your crude little comments… the stepping out of line in the past few years."

"My behavior wasn't appropriate."

"No." He sighed, smiling. "But that's why it was such a delight. It's a shame that your… resistance against me has dimmed down so much recently."

Robin couldn't quite believe what he was saying. Didn't want to believe what he was saying, actually. And suddenly her act gained a whole new dimension of relevance, as she finally understood why Snape had insisted on it quite so vehemently. Morgan enjoyed torturing her. And he liked it better the more she fought back. The thought made her shudder, and for the first time ever she actually felt something like fear of the man currently holding her hand. She feared what she didn't know about him, in a twisted kind of way, and that perhaps was even worse. Her only chance was feigned submission, as disgusting as it was.

When the song ended, and the end of Robin's suffering was near, Morgan finally removed his hands from her hip and she could breathe again at last. His touch on her had felt like acid seeping into her skin, all the way through her dress even… She could only hope it wouldn't happen again.

"You are going to be a great partner, with a little more practice." He remarked, catching her wrist before Robin could excuse herself. "I very much look forward to our next time."

Robin's stomach twisted with a sick feeling, and yet she smiled at him politely, giving a courteous nod. "Have a nice evening, sir." She said, and at last he let go of her wrist, then bowed quite ridiculously and vanished off the dancefloor without another word. Finally, goddamnit…

Robin gathered her thoughts for a second, closing her eyes, breathing deeply. Then she made for the direction where she had seen Snape and Dumbledore. Honestly, she just wanted to get away from everything right now, away from the dancing and the music and the people. It was stupid how ten minutes of Morgan could overwhelm her quite so much, but the knowledge of the stupidity of the feeling unfortunately didn't change the feeling itself, and thus her heart picked up speed uncomfortably while it became harder and harder not to yell at everyone who stepped into her way. But she couldn't leave yet, couldn't… Until she finally found the two men she'd been looking for.

"Ah, Miss Mitchell, I knew we wouldn't have to wait for you long." Dumbledore greeted her even before she came to stand next to Snape.

"Good evening, headmaster." She replied, sounding too out of breath for her own liking, too annoyed, but when everything was starting to be too much, it usually happened faster than anticipated, and a lot less subtle than appreciated. "I hope I didn't interrupt your conversation."

"Not at all. Actually, I was just about to take my leave, and thanks to your impeccable timing, I do not have to worry about leaving Severus to himself. He will be in good company now." Dumbledore said to Robin, with his signature enigmatic smile, then gave Snape a look as well and finally nodded at both of them. "It is surprisingly warm for a December night, wouldn't you say?" Then, without another word, he turned around and sauntered off towards the buffet.

Robin let out a long breath once he was gone, vanished between people who didn't pay them any attention, before she turned around to Snape at last. "Thank you for waiting… I saw you kept an eye on me, that helped."

"Are you alright?" He asked in return, frowning at her in badly veiled concern. He was always so very observant… always knew when she wasn't feeling well. Robin could have cried for that reason alone.

"Not really. All these people are driving me crazy." She huffed, annoyed by the crowds and herself, and thus she crossed her arms over her chest. "This room feels like it's imploding, and I've been trying very hard for the last ten minutes not to burst into tears in front of everyone present. He didn't make it any easier for me."

"Morgan?"

"Morgan." She breathed in return, both ashamed of how easily he had gotten to her and how defeated she felt upon that.

Something in Snape's expression changed for a moment, lost in whatever string of thought he was following, but then his attention was back on Robin. "Are you going to leave?"

"Yeah… It's still some time until midnight, but I'm done with this bloody ball already. I just want to go."

Silence. For a few seconds they just looked at each other. "May I come with you?" He finally asked, carefully and almost reluctant. As if he would truly expect her to say no.

"I had very much hoped you would." Robin replied, and his question finally managed to bring a small smile to her face. He did want to stay with her after all… he wasn't tired of her company. "But don't you have to stay until shortly before midnight to chaperone this whole thing?"

"Considering I have hardly paid attention to anything but you this evening, I would say they are doing fine without me." He mused in all honesty, and his hand found its place on the small of her back again as they made for the doors. Upon his words Robin had to smile again, a little brighter than before, while a good chunk of the misery Morgan had caused her melted under Snape's touch, cleared away by his words, to leave nothing but warmth, and perhaps even a little excitement.

They soon left the great hall behind, passing by a group of chatting students, and finally made their way outside, towards the courtyard. Alone at last; some time shortly after eleven o'clock, no people, no music. Just Snape and Robin and the night. It really was surprisingly warm, especially for December, and the fresh air gave them no more chill than it had back in October. Even September, perhaps. Curious…

"Feeling better?" He finally asked, as they sauntered across the uneven stones and towards nowhere in particular.

"Mostly, yes." Robin sighed in return, and would've almost sighed again when his hand dropped from her back as they left the courtyard behind, and followed the path that led down the hill. Going nowhere, going everywhere. "It's just… nevermind."

"I'm listening. To anything you have to say."

"It's about Morgan. I think I'm starting to hear shadows speak when I'm around him."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I don't think he just wants me low and broken for him to come out superior… I think he wants me to keep up my resistance because he likes the fight. He enjoys being cruel to me, but only when I fight back." She said, crossing her arms over her chest once again. "He believes my act, but he still tries to break it. Tries to get me to react."

Silence. "What did he do?"

"Other than not knowing or not caring about where not to put his hands on my body? Just words… words about you, mostly."

Silence. "I'm sorry. I should have found a way to spare you from that dance."

"It's not your fault. There's nothing you could've done about it." Robin shrugged and gave him a half smile. "I kept up the act, at least. Even though I wanted to chop off his hands most of the time."

"Remind me of that next time I make the mistake of touching you."

"It's not a mistake when you do it! I like your touch..." She protested instinctively, but a second later her mind caught on and her face heated up in an instant. "And… I should probably not have said that. But really, I was one hundred percent referring to Morgan and only Morgan!"

"I was merely joking. Trying to, anyway." He said in as much awkwardness as Robin had ever heard his tone take on. "But I'm not particularly good at conventional humor, nor at cheering you up as it seems."

Now that in return brought a smile to her face, and she could almost forget the mild embarrassment of what she'd previously admitted to. "It really was a terrible attempt at a joke. But you're doing good in the other regard."

"You're too easy on me, Robin."

"Not at all. You are just too hard on yourself."

He didn't reply, and thus Robin took his silence as agreement, or at least as him believing in her sincerity. While they made their way down the path, she could feel his eyes on her from time to time, and every one of those instances made her smile a little bit more. Whatever he was thinking about probably included her in some way, and that was quite enough to keep Robin's own mind pleasantly busy.

After a while, they found themselves returning to the courtyard as instinctively as they had left it. By now Robin was feeling rather cold indeed, chilled but not entirely frozen, but it was only twenty more minutes until midnight anyway. She could do that.

They sauntered through the arcades as they had done quite so often already, until at last they arrived at the very arches they had long before chosen as theirs. Snape went ahead to sit down like it was the only logical thing to do, facing the open distance beyond the castle, but Robin behind him hesitated.

"Just ask, instead of standing there like a dunderhead." He said calmly, and while Robin couldn't see his face, she was sure that he was smiling a little at least.

"If you already know what I want to ask anyway, I shouldn't have to ask in the first place." She replied with a small smirk of her own, and a moment later he moved over wordlessly to make room for her to sit down next to him.

Robin didn't hesitate to climb into his arch then, heart skipping a beat even though he had literally given her his permission, and she came to realize that the space between the columns wasn't quite as large as she had been led to believe. Thus when she did sit down, her entire right side was pressed up against his left. He didn't seem to mind though, his calm prevailed as it only ever did around her, and Robin wondered if he could hear her heart racing. She definitely didn't feel cold now.

"I can't believe a whole year has passed yet again." She said after a while. "We were out on the wooden bridge just yesterday."

"Seems like it, doesn't it?" He mused in return, then folded his hands in his lap. "And yet so very much has happened."

"Has it, really?"

"You saved a life, aced your OWLs, made some amazing discoveries and became a very much respectable professional in the field. You even impressed Professor Dumbledore, seriously impressed him, which I can assure you is a very unlikely thing to happen. And not to forget, we went on a very memorable excursion."

"And we had an accidental sleepover in the lab after that." Robin couldn't help adding with a small snort and a smile, upon which she got a low chuckle in return. The sound of it alone made her sigh in contentment. "It really was a good year."

"Except for the times I thought you might die, or the times I wanted to strangle you myself, or any instance involving a certain colleague of mine…"

"You really should stop focusing on the bad things." Robin protested with a roll of her eyes, and out of another of those nasty impulses, she leaned her head against his shoulder, or rather his upper arm. Should he shove her down the abyss in front of them for that, if he wanted to. But he stayed perfectly still instead, a little too still even, before relaxing again at last when Robin spoke on. "There are so many wonderful things to focus on instead, and it's those that matter in the end. In a few years, I won't be thinking about Morgan, or Jos, or the crowds… I'll think about dancing with you, and mocking people, and sitting here together. In the end, all I will remember of tonight is you and I."

Snape hummed in return, quietly, but Robin still felt the soft vibrations going through his body and resonating all the way in her chest. The feeling made her shiver, and she closed her eyes for a moment to make sure to remember. To savour every single feeling, every speckle of emotion, every little sensation.

"So did I succeed?" Robin finally asked, opening her eyes again to look out into the night.

"In what?"

"Getting you closer to happiness, even if just a single step."

"You did." He replied after a moment of silence, almost serenely in a way, and Robin had to smile. At least she hadn't imagined it.

"Good." She said, and for the moment she felt truly proud of this achievement. She had succeeded once… she had no doubt that she could do it again. "On to another step next year then."

In that moment, the faint noises from inside the castle picked up, and a few seconds later the sounds of fireworks carried over from Hogsmeade as well. Another shiver ran over Robin's skin, but she smiled anyway as she took one more deep breath, then lifted her head off his shoulder at last.

"Happy new year." She looked up, with a calm and serene smile that was content no less. "I'll be here to make sure that it will be one indeed."

"Indeed…" He mirrored, but when his gaze met hers, lingering and observing her like he was seeing her for the very first and yet the very last time at once, there was nothing happy about his expression at all. No, he looked quite as troubled as Robin had ever seen him, and just as torn.

Her heart skipped a beat upon the sight, and her brows furrowed into a concerned frown. Had she said something wrong? Done something, perhaps? Maybe she shouldn't have told him that he made up the majority of her happy memories these days… Maybe she shouldn't have allowed herself to get so close to him, physically and through her words. Or maybe this wasn't about her in the first place, maybe he was only thinking about the year ahead. Who truly knew what went on in that man's mind after all?

"It's getting quite cold out here… Wanna go back inside for the first coffee of the year?" She asked eventually, in an attempt to brighten up the moment after a good five minutes had passed in silence. But he just looked at her like one looked at a picture of something long lost. "Or… would you like to talk about it?"

"Perhaps another time." He replied quietly, taking one last glance at Robin before getting up in a graceful move she could only hope to imitate.

"The talking or to coffee?" She chuckled while she fought to get back onto her feet as well, trying to avoid stepping onto the hem of her dress that pooled around her legs. Dresses really weren't made for violating the suggested functions of architecture like this. "Nevermind, stupid question. Coffee sounds pretty amazing right now, all warm and comforting and calm. I'm making the first, just for tradition's sake."

"I was referring to both." He said once Robin's eyes met his again, in an expression as grave as his voice. The smile faded off her lips in an instant and a cold heat rolled over her, cursing through her veins like a liquid poison. It never meant anything good when he looked at her like that; rather on the contrary. He usually would start raging now. But it was the absence of even the smallest speckle of anger on his part that truly scared her this time.

"So… no coffee?" She croaked out, brows drawing together in confusion while her arms crossed over her chest on their own account. "We could also have tea, or-..."

"No." His eyes stayed locked with hers for another few eternal seconds, digging through her soul in their dark intensity, and while he wore his strongest facade of cold neutrality, even he couldn't keep it from quivering now. "Happy new year, Robin."

Without another word he turned to leave the arcades, hurrying off to become one with the darkness while Robin stood frozen to the spot, watching his billowing robes and long strides until he was gone entirely. If confusion had ever been this allconsuming to her, now it was an unbearable torture.

______________________________

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AUgust 6: hospital au

PROMPT THE SIXTH: HOSPITAL AU

fun fact! me and @wuzzyletoastermac have a hospital au. so I’m just gonna...dig it out of its shallow grave from a few years back and plop that one over here. only it’s not gon who got hurt this time. killugon, descriptions of bodily injury resulting from a bike accident that absolutely doesn’t come from my worst fears as a bike commuter for 6 years, definitely not.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Killua glares at Leorio through a deep haze of pain and painkillers. “You have the shittiest bedside manner,” he says.

It’s almost certainly his imagination, or the drugs, but Leorio might be prodding the X-rays he stole from Killua’s nurse a little more viciously than he should. “My bedside manner’s not the problem here, kid,” Leorio says. “It’s the clavicle fracture that miraculously didn’t need to be reset, and an oblique fracture in your tibia that might need surgery. Not to mention that half the skin on your arms got burned off when you the concrete, and you definitely have a concussion.”

“Leorio--”

“And you did this, not joyriding in an ambulance like you do every shift--”

“--not joyriding, I’m just damn good at my job--”

“--or drag racing with your sister--”

“--that’s her job! And I taught her!”

“--but biking back from getting dinner!”

Killua wishes he could throw up his hands, and settles for a hoarse growl of frustration. “I know. It’s the stupidest possible way to get this badly hurt. You don’t have to rub it in, Dr. Asshole.”

“Will he be okay?” Gon asks, worry bleeding through his voice. He’s hovering at Killua’s side with one hand on the top of the hospital bed and a death grip on Alluka’s hand, like he’s been since she got here more than an hour ago. Gon had called her as soon as Killua went into the ER, and the two of them have been with him as much as they can. And Leorio managed to appear, bedraggled and exhausted from coming off the end of his own shift, haranguing the orthopedics and arguing over the logistics of surgeries and therapy like he specializes in traumatic injury and not immunology.

Killua can’t help but feel loved. He isn’t sure if he deserves it, but it’s there, given freely from the people Killua loves with all his heart. At least Alluka knows, because she demanded to hear it. But Gon...

Laying in a hospital bed under a questionable amount of painkillers is not the time to be thinking about telling someone I love you for the first time. Too many drugs to make a sensible decision.

Leorio coughs a little, and glances in the direction Killua’s nurses went. “It’s no worse than anything you’ve done, Gon. Several magnitudes better. There’re techs who still talk about your arm dismemberment.”

“But will Killua be okay?”

“Brother’s as fine as he can be,” Alluka says with only a fraction less nerves than Gon. “Right, Doctor?”

“The hospital looks after its own, even adrenaline junkie ambulance drivers.” A strange noise burbles out of Leorio’s mouth, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “You weren’t even in a car.”

Killua feels his cheeks burn, a strange sensation when everything else feels like it’s wrapped in several layers of scratchy wool. “It was still a car’s fault,” he says with his best scowl. From how Leorio looks like he swallowed a lemon whole, it’s not very good.

“At least you were wearing a helmet,” Leorio says. 

“The dipshit opened the door right into the bike lane. Ruined our dinner plans.”

It was date night. Of all the nights to get into an accident, it had to be the one night where Gon didn’t have to work tomorrow, and Killua was in the middle of his 72 hours off. They’d been talking about going back to the fusion place for weeks, ever since Palm had tipped them off, and they finally get to relax, and--

Alluka makes a noise that is supposed to be overexaggerated sympathy, but it comes out a little wet, like she’s holding back angry tears. “I’ll bring you spring rolls tomorrow, Brother.”

“And you demanded to argue until your boyfriend showed up looking for you!” The radio around Leorio’s neck squawks, and he grumbles something about not overstepping bounds when family’s involved. “Look, just. Don’t argue with Dr. Gel, she’s doing us both a favor. And don’t try to get out of here before she says whether or not you’re getting surgery. And you don’t try to help him leave early, Gon, you know how collarbones feel.”

Gon’s mouth goes thin, and he says nothing. But Killua can feel how tightly he grips the edge of Killua’s bed, a slight tremble beneath the sheets. He shouldn’t care this much--it was an accident, it could have happened to anyone on a bike at the wrong time with the wrong asshole driver.

Leorio’s radio buzzes again, but he puts his hand over it. “Gon. Promise?”

“...fine,” he mutters, belligerent and angry, because he probably was figuring out how early he could stage a breakout, and Killua feels bizarrely, impossibly loved.

“I’ll go with Leorio,” Alluka says as the doctor begins to stride out of the little room, white coat flapping as he barks an order into his radio. “He doesn’t have to do all the paperwork by himself. Don’t do anything else stupid?”

Killua starts to lift his arm to flip her off, and his collarbone reminds him why that is a terrible idea. “I’m not going anywhere,” he manages.

“That’s not avoiding stupid things.” She presses a soft kiss to Killua’s forehead, not quite missing the new scabs growing where the helmet dug into his skin. But Killua’s good at hiding pain. “Be right back,” she says.

Once they’re both gone, Gon pulls up a stool from the little desk and sits (finally, some part of Killua sighs in relief). With Leorio gone and no longer poking and prodding at the charts, Killua is hit by a wave of exhaustion strong enough that the hospital bed feels almost as good as a cloud, perfect to sleep through some of the drugs and pain.

“I can still get you out if you want,” Gon says.

Despite the light tone, Gon isn’t joking in the least. It makes Killua smile. Gon has a knack for getting out of the hospital before he’s supposed to--it’s why Leorio is usually on his cases, even though he should be in Infectious Diseases, because he can usually manage to make the chronically injured rugby player stick around even a day or two longer. And why they’re letting him stick around after his rotations tonight.

“I’ll be fine. It’ll just suck for awhile.” He flips his hand so that they’re palm-to-palm, fingers laced. “It can’t be worse than that time you got your arm chopped off.”

“But if I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have met you,” Gon says. “I’d rather lose an arm than that.”

Killua wants to protest, because Gon did almost lose his arm. But intoxicating warmth and fuzziness floods his veins, a rush of feelings that threatens to choke out what few coherent thoughts he has left. He wants to tell Gon that he doesn’t want Gon to lose another limb, not even a toe, not for Killua. He wants to make sure Gon knows that he’s grateful for the offer to break him out of the hospital even though it’s a terrible idea right now. Mostly, he wants to say that he’s glad Gon is here with him.

Instead, he flops his head over a little, just enough to smile up at his boyfriend. “I love you,” he says, words slipping out easily between the bone-deep weariness and drug-dulled pain, not like it’s been bottled up inside his heart for what seems like ages.

Gon’s eyes widen a fraction, and the grip on Killua’s hand slackens for a long, terrifying moment. But then he tightens again, firm like an anchor weighed against the tide. And Killua doesn’t have to hear it to know that Gon loves him back.

So it might be a dream, or just another part of the haze. But as Killua drifts off, he hears Gon say, voice quiet against the beeping of the hospital machines, “I love you too.”

(AUgust prompts)

Yes (BNHA) Chapter 8: Maybe, Somehow

Fic Summary: There’s nothing quite like a first love that cannot love you back. This is a collection of loosely related one-shots about the students of 1A dealing with unrequited love, which begins when people start to notice that Midoriya Izuku might be falling for Todoroki Shouto.

Chapter Summary: To make up for her numerous mistakes in class rep work, Yaoyorozu takes Iida out for burgers. Their meal is interrupted when Iida receives word of his brother being admitted back to the hospital. (IidaMomo; implied one-sided TodoMomo)

Read the chapter on AO3

The 1A classroom was quiet and tidy and almost empty. As much as Iida Tenya liked his classmates and tolerated their rowdy behavior, this was the time of the day that he enjoyed the classroom the most, because he could give his due silent, proper reverence to the room which was pivotal to the growth of many of the heroes he respected.

… or so he tried to tell himself, as his bespectacled eyes befell over the gentle movement of a certain delicate hand that needed to tuck a stray strand of hair behind a delicate ear. He refused to admit that this was his favorite time of the day on his favorite day of the week, just because he and Yaoyorozu Momo-kun tended to meet for class governance related matters at that time.

He also steadfastly refused to admit that he looked forward to that meeting in particular, because Midoriya-kun, Uraraka-kun, and Tsuyu-chan-kun had other things to do, and there was apparently nobody waiting for Yaoyorozu-kun either. In other words, it was just him and her and a pile of hard work. His shoulders tensed in excitement.

“Let’s work hard today,” she told him with a quiet elegance that no other living thing on the face of the earth could produce, and he found it a little harder to refuse his steadfast train of thought then.

He was at least willing to admit that there were many things he liked about Yaoyorozu Momo-kun. For instance, he liked having her as his--no, not just his, Class 1A’s--vice president. She was organized, decisive, serious, cooperative, all those good qualities and more. She was the type of student who separated documents in color-coded plastic files, used page flags and post-its with cute notes and smileys, and tended to use a specific brand of ball point pen with a 0.5mm width to keep her handwriting neat and consistent.

When he commended her for these, she proudly told him that she’d bought her items in a stationery store that she liked, instead of creating them with her quirk. He liked her for that. He liked that she respected the economy.

But that wasn’t all--come on, Iida, surely you realize that it’s anemic to say ‘I like this girl for respecting the economy!’ He liked that she was always poised and presentable that he couldn’t help but take in all the little details about her when they meet like this.

Yes, that was all. He frequently found himself thanking the other anonymous voter who gave her a vote during class elections and thus propelled her to the role of Vice President.

But that meeting, as much as he secretly looked forward to it, was turning out to be not as ideal and as productive as he’d liked. They were assigned by Aizawa-sensei to form a data grid of all the class members’ physical attributes, including compatibilities and incompatibilities with each other, which they should do incognito as part of planning for their next training camp.

However, Yaoyorozu-kun uncharacteristically forgot her share of files in the dorm.

She apologized very profusely, bowing her head so many times that he feared her ponytail would dismantle. Iida reassured her that they could work on it next time, although he knew that this would be a major deviation from their meticulously formed and mutually agreed-upon Gantt Chart. She’d suggested working on it in the common room, but then realized that they couldn’t keep it a secret then, and she apologized once more for her silly idea.

“Please worry no further, Yaoyorozu-kun,” he said, karate-chopping the space in between them in an effort to stop her from bowing her head like the paw of a Maneki-neko. “Let us focus instead on writing our activity summary for the past cultural festival.”

She agreed then, but even that didn’t go as smoothly as Iida expected. Yaoyorozu’s share of reports had small typos riddled here and there, which was frankly concerning because she was also the type of student who tended to edit her work a minimum of three times before submitting them. Iida corrected these quietly on the spot, until he came across a major error in one of them.

He didn’t mean to, but he made a small grumbling noise as he looked over the report in front of him. He saw the ponytail move downward again from the corner of his eye.    

“.. you’re right, I think I made a mistake here,” he heard her say across from him. They were looking over the financial reports from the last school festival--certainly an important, crucial activity that required utmost accuracy and care, but not one that warranted this much distress from the vice-president. “I must have messed up in my calculations. I’m sorry, Iida-kun.”

She sighed very deeply then, and Iida was reminded of how exhausted she appeared since the beginning of their meeting. He didn’t want to acknowledge this, because he had a very annoying inkling of what might have happened to cause this, although Iida didn’t tend to talk about other things with her, for professionalism’s sake.

“Yaoyorozu-kun, I think we need to wrap up today.”

Hearing the tired tone in his voice made her look up. A new glassy sheen covered her onyx eyes. “Oh, but we have so much to do, Iida-kun, we should at least finish the festival paperwork…” She took the report back from him and began to re-do her computations. “I… might have had a little trouble with these, but I can fix all of them now. No need to worry.”

She put on a brave smile for him before she focused on her work, the steely glare of determination back again, and he didn’t have the wherewithal to stop her.

But he wasn’t blind. Seeing the dark circles under her eyes and the lack of the usual glow on her usually dewy skin reminded him of at least twenty terrible injustices in modern society that were slightly less just than the sight before him then.

Yaoyorozu-kun didn’t deserve this turmoil, he thought bitterly to himself. As to why he felt so bitter though, he didn’t want to acknowledge.

Somehow she pressed on, and it took about an hour before they were able to come up with a comprehensive report that passed both Iida and Yaoyorozu standards. To his relief, it seemed that she was able to push whatever was bothering her to the back of her mind, and she was able to smile 10 times in their meeting, with about 2 of them obviously genuine.

Just like that, their meeting for that day was over, but Iida told her that they needed to meet again later in the weekend, perhaps in the library, to work on their remaining assignment together. She nodded quietly as they walked together to the print room to have the final version printed.

“Everything looks to be in order,” said Iida, tapping the sheaf of papers satisfactorily over the counter. Nothing like the sound of a job well done. He raised one arm in salute to the vice president. “It is time for me to pass this to the student council--”

“Iida-kun, I feel terrible about today,” she said, cutting him off mid-karate chop. She rubbed one arm bashfully and kept her eyes to the floor.

“It’s all right, Yaoyorozu-kun! I do understand that anyone may feel overwhelmed and exhausted given the many responsibilities we have in hero training, school work and such. Even an upstanding student such as yourself.”

He didn’t always wish that his way of speaking would be less stiff, but even he felt like cringing when he realized that he called a girl he was comforting ‘an upstanding student’. As if he was channeling Principal Nezu or something.

A bashful smile was on her face as she replied quietly, “Still, it’s no excuse for my mistakes today. I caused you a lot of trouble, Iida-kun.”

“Think no more of it,” he said, a little quieter this time. “I’d… prefer it if you spent a little more time tonight taking care of yourself.”

“Do I look that haggard? Is my skin that hideous, Iida-kun?” she asked, putting one hand to her dewy face in reflex.

“No--of course not--you don’t look hideous, heaven forbid, you are the farthest thing from haggard or hideous, I mean--”

Wait, she was laughing. It was a little weak, but she was laughing. And now she was laughing at him stumble over his words like the fool that he was. “It was a joke, Iida-kun. Thank you for your kind words. I do understand your sentiment, but I was hoping to make things up with you by treating you to food before we head back to the dorms.”

Just the two of us? an insolent part of his mind immediately voiced in his head, resulting in an embarrassed choking sound emerging from his mouth.

“Or are you busy?” asked Yaoyorozu in concern. “Because if you are, I understand. It must have been too brazen of me to assume…”

“Let us food!” proclaimed Iida, already marching to the direction of the exits. Only realizing belatedly that a) he forgot about the student council papers, b) he was leaving Yaoyorozu-kun behind, c) he said something nonsensical, and d) he was a big, square-shaped fool.

Luckily, Yaoyorozu only laughed at his tomfoolery and accompanied him to his tasks without a second thought.

*

While initially Iida worried about her treating him to an upscale restaurant befitting of a refined girl like her, much to his relief, Yaoyorozu had insisted on treating him to burgers. More specifically, the new Mess Burger that opened within campus.

It was perfect. The most important thing, of course, was that the place was within campus, so they would remain within the safe perimeter of the campus. Furthermore, Iida wouldn’t feel too embarrassed about being treated to anything too fancy. Besides, it looked like she was more excited about eating something so middle-class. “I’ve only ever eaten hamburgers when we go to America for vacation,” she said without a hint of boastfulness. “I wonder how local burgers will compare…”

It was comforting to Iida to see that she planned to order a lot. She ordered three types of burgers, three large fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, and a large milkshake. When she turned to him to ask for what he would like, the cashier almost lost his mind. Embarrassed to order anything less than her, for some reason, he loudly declared that he would have exactly the same thing.

“Are you sure?” asked Yaoyorozu in concern, to which he just nodded stubbornly.

And that’s how he ended up halfway through his second burger, trying his hardest not to throw up and wishing that he was wearing sweatpants instead of his starched school uniform slacks. Across from him, Yaoyorozu was delicately eating her way through all of her entrees, a bit of her glow coming back to her.  

“Thank you for accompanying me, Iida-kun. I couldn’t imagine that a locally made American-style hamburger would be so wonderful,” she said brightly.

“Th… think nothing of it,” he said, struggling not to sound like he wanted to throw up. “Is this your first meal of the day?”

She nodded bashfully. “My… appetite hasn’t been the best these past few days. It hasn’t been ideal for my quirk. So I have some catching up to do, to be honest.”

“I see,” said Iida, swallowing a mouthful of meat. He knew about her lack of appetite very well. He had been there during their hero training, after all, and saw how she barely had the will to eat at least one of a mountain of rice balls that Aizawa-sensei was pressuring her to finish.

She had that look of concern on her face once more as she looked at his struggle. “Iida-kun, you don’t have to eat as much as I do… I’m surprised that you ordered so much!”

“No, no, no, it looked too strange that a taller and bigger-built individual such as I would eat less than you! Besides, with the increased amount of physical training that everyone is doing, we could all use the extra calories to build more muscle!”  

Yaoyorozu started laughing. Ah, what a refreshing sound. His stomach suddenly felt like it could manage another five burgers or so. “Please don’t feel pressured by me. If you really can’t finish, we can always bring the leftovers back to the dorm.”

“Ever the sensible one, Yaoyorozu-kun. I do agree--ah, excuse me.” His phone started vibrating in his blazer’s pocket.

The screen showed that his mother was calling. He was suddenly overcome by a sense of apprehension. “Mother,” he said, voice low.

“Tenya.” His mother’s voice sounded strained, as it usually did these days. “I’m sorry for bothering you if you’re busy. But it’s about your brother. Not to alarm you, but today, he…”

Iida nodded and made sounds of affirmation as his mother relayed what happened. “All right… I’ll notify our instructor. I’ll be right there.”

He hung up and met with Yaoyorozu’s worried gaze. He released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Is… everything all right?”

“They… had to take my older brother to the hospital again.” Iida didn’t like how his voice shook, even if it was subtle. Yaoyorozu’s eyes widened in worry. He tried to gesture vaguely with his hands not to worry, even though he didn’t really understand what his stupid hands were doing. “No, it’s all right. He has a fever, that’s all. My parents are just being extra careful when he has small problems like this. I just… I just need to inform Aizawa-sensei… the hospital’s just a train away, so…”

He said those things to stop her from worrying even though he himself didn’t fully believe in his words. Tensei’s strong, but his spinal injury made him prone to a lot of complications that made Tenya deathly anxious just reading about them. What if it’s sepsis? What if it’s multi-drug resistant this time? What if he goes into shock? Just the thought of it scrambled his thoughts into an unreadable mess.

His fingers felt numb and heavy as he searched for Aizawa-sensei through his contacts. He barely noticed a graceful hand reach out to keep his still.

“Iida-kun,” said Yaoyorozu, bringing him back to reality. “I’ll come with you. Let Aizawa-sensei know.”

His thoughts, which were filled with noise just a millisecond ago, were suddenly stunned into silence. “What?”

“You’re not okay.” She had her own smart phone out and was dialing a different number. “As the vice-president, I have a responsibility to look out for you, class president. Please leave the transportation to me.”

He shook his head vehemently. “No, I can’t possibly ask you…” he began. Suddenly stern, she held out her hand up to keep him from speaking further.

At the other end of the line, he heard Aizawa-sensei’s curt voice, snapping him back once more to reality. Trying not to lose focus, he stammered out the family situation once more, and asked for permission for him and Yaoyorozu to come to the hospital.

“Yaoyorozu too?” asked Aizawa-sensei, a curious undertone to his bored voice apparent. After explaining that she extended her assistance to him, the teacher made a hum of affirmation. “All right. While you’re off campus, you two stick together. You’ll be responsible for her and vice-versa.”

“Understood.” Iida nodded as Aizawa-sensei added a few standard threats of them to not break any laws and to not use their quirks for whatever reason, and to let him know if they were back in the dorms.

After ending the call, he nodded to Yaoyorozu. Within minutes, a stretch limousine belonging to the Yaoyorozu family skidded to a halt in front of the humble burger joint. They stood up and left without a word.

*

Iida tried not to feel too numb or too anxious during their ride on the limo or their walk in the lobby or their ride in the elevators to room 504 in Ward 5A, where his older brother Tensei was admitted for the 3rd time this year. But the smell of antiseptic, the abnormal brightness of the lights, heck, even the shades of white and green and blue that scrubsuits and coats that the doctors and nurses wore made an array of uncomfortable feelings arise in his chest.

It was probably good that Yaoyorozu forced herself there. Somehow hearing her call out to him woke him up and made him aware of how he needed to walk forward and open the door or press the elevator buttons. He probably wouldn’t have made it to Tensei’s room if it weren’t for her.

Somehow, they reached the room in question. Tensei was sitting up on his bed, a little red in the face and a little tired, but he was smiling. “Tenya!”

All the other vital signs on the monitor were stable. Good. All good. Tensei was good. “Onii-san,” he called out. His shoulders sagged in relief.

“Hey now, don’t give me that kind of look. I might just get sicker, you know?” Tensei teased as he reached out to embrace him.

“Is… is that possible?! Are there new studies regarding caregiver stress and prognosis?! Then I shall smile!”

“Tenya, you’re too serious!” Tensei laughed as the younger brother made a weird grunting noise as he bared his teeth to him. And then, an altogether different smile went up his face, as he nudged him playfully. “So… are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

“What…? Oh,” Iida tensed, inwardly cursed his rudeness, inwardly cursed that he did something ridiculous in front of her. “This is my older brother Tensei, the pro hero Ingenium--”

“Former pro-hero,” clarified Tensei. The words still stung, but Iida pressed on.

“And this is my classmate from UA, also our class vice-president, Yaoyorozu-kunnnnnnnn?!?!?!” Iida’s jaw dropped when he turned to the girl in question, who was, for one reason or another, already carrying a large Ming-style vase with various genuine-looking flowers encased within.

Yaoyorozu blinked once, and then blushed furiously at Iida’s flabbergasted expression. “Oh… I apologize, Iida-kun! I thought it was improper of me to visit without bringing a gift for Iida-san, so I took the liberty of making a get-well bouquet with my quirk,” she stammered sheepishly. “They’re plastic flowers, so infection control concerns shouldn’t be a problem…”

Ever proper, Yaoyorozu-kun! Iida already regretted looking at the large plastic bouquet in shock. Behind him, Tensei laughed so hard he started coughing. “It’s fine, Yaoyorozu-kun! Please, pardon my overreaction! Your gift is very much appreciated!!!”

“Really? That’s a relief,” she said, carefully setting down the vase on the floor (it was way too big to be placed on any of the tables). She bowed her head politely in the patient’s direction. “This is the first time we meet. I am Yaoyorozu Momo.”

“Likewise. Please continue taking care of my brother Tenya,” replied Tensei just as courteously. His smile looked too much like the mischievous grin that he gave Tenya right before he teased him relentlessly.

Yaoyorozu nodded. “I’ll give you some time alone, Iida-kun. I’ll wait for you at the lobby.”

“... All right.” Iida watched as she bowed her way out of the room. As soon as the door slammed, he yelped when he felt Tensei’s still-strong hand slap him on the back.

“Tenya-kun, you’re so cool. You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend~ should I have mom send some red bean rice for you in the dorm?”

The indignation! He gasped in offense at the mere thought of it. “You are -very- mistaken, onii-san! I would never--Yaoyorozu-kun is merely a reliable classmate--I wouldn’t dream of--”

Tensei laughed again, and Tenya grumbled a little bit on how healthy and not-sick he was and he should just go home already if he was feeling so well. “Jokes aside, Tenya, I’m okay. I didn’t need to be in the hospital, but mom insisted and the doctors said it was about time for another executive check-up anyway.”

“But you have a fever--”

“Just a cold. Let’s not talk about what’s wrong with me.” He smiled so brightly it betrayed his illness. Tenya was grateful for the blanket that covered the atrophied legs and engines at the lower half of his strong older brother’s body. “So, Tenya, what’s going on at school?”

Tenya smiled and obliged, telling him about all the fantastic experiences and funny stories of his colleagues in UA. His brother, the very beacon of positivity, looked very genuine as he asked a few questions every now and then, just pausing a few times to let a cough escape from his throat. Tensei mentioned Midoriya, saying that he should keep such a reliable friend around him, and also mentioned that the green-haired boy reminded him very much of a friend of his who was similarly brave and an avid All Might fanboy.

“So… about Yaoyorozu-san,” said Tensei, again with that teasing tone.

Tenya sighed in exasperation. “It’s… impossible, onii-san.”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t say anything.” He merely chucked when Tenya did his odd karate-chopping movements a little more violently than usual. “Seriously, though, Tenya, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you with a girl, and with such a good dynamic between you two to boot. Can’t I feel a little hopeful for you?”

“Brother,” he said, his voice unintentionally dropping a bit.

“Are you holding yourself back again?” Tensei looked up at him expectantly, an enigmatic smile on his face.

Of course he’s holding himself back. Why wouldn’t he hold himself back? There were more important things in his life than his silly, childish crush that Iida Tenya had to worry about. Like being an upstanding UA student. Like being the class leader. Like being a great pro Hero. Like being the next Ingenium.  

Besides… he knew about Yaoyorozu-kun. He knew about how slowly, deftly, she let Todoroki-kun into her heart, watched her work so hard to stand on equal footing next to him for such a long time that Iida felt he was on a completely different stage from them. And he knew that even if he was brave enough to ask, there wasn’t going to be room for him there in her heart, anyway.

Not for him.

“It’s fine,” his older brother’s voice cut through his introspections like broken glass. He was smiling back at him again, a little more apologetic this time. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into it, Tenya. Whether it’s a question or timing or whatever, you know best what to do.”

Timing? Iida blinked slowly at this. Was there really a more appropriate time in the future when he could stop convincing himself that he didn’t only like Yaoyorozu-kun as his vice president? He could only imagine being able to do so after he’s proven himself worthy of being somebody else than the Iida Tenya of that day, who couldn’t even walk up to his brother’s bedside without being guided like a blind man.

And… it was going to be a long journey between this Iida Tenya and that Iida Tenya. He was still so far away from where he wanted to be. He told his brother so.

“Exactly. That’s where we all start, Tenya.” Tensei gave him another comforting smile then. “That’s why I’m telling you now that not all impossible things remain impossible forever. You wouldn’t really know unless you keep moving forward.”

Tensei placed his still-strong arm over Tenya’s shoulder, and gave a reassuring smile. The younger brother touched his hand gratefully.

“Now… go get ‘em, Tiger.” He winked at him then, and Tenya wondered whether they’d kick him out of the hospital for slapping a sick man with the back of his hand.  

*

When he went down to the lobby, Yaoyorozu was speaking to someone on her phone. She met his eyes briefly, smiled politely, and told the other person on the line, “Iida-kun’s here. We’ll go home in a bit. See you soon, Kyoka.”

She hung up the phone and smiled up at him warmly. The meal they had about an hour ago did her well, and the beautiful glow on her skin was back and ever radiant. “Iida-kun, you’re back!” She tilted his head at him the next moment in curiosity. “… what’s wrong?”

Iida straightened his mouth, only realizing then that he must have had a ridiculous expression on his face. Tensei’s go get ‘em Tiger~ echoed in his brain as he tried to avoid Yaoyorozu’s doe eyes. Ah, stupid onii-san and his silly jokes! “It’s nothing,” he supplied weakly.

The vice president blinked curiously at him. “Is there anything wrong with Iida Tensei-san?”

“Oh, no, on the contrary, he’s annoyingly risible,” said Iida. When Yaoyorozu looked at him questioningly once more, he elaborated, “He… just gave me things to think about. Like… timing.”

“... timing?”

“... yes,” he answered, suddenly finding it hard to not look into her eyes. He noticed this long ago during the earliest days of school, but once again he was reminded that they were a shade of onyx that was exquisite, and he’d like to spend more time staring into them, if he could. But…

He stared at the shadows under his eyes. Felt the exhaustion that she tried to hide from plain view. It’s only been a week since ‘then’, he knew, and he decided that it was more honorable to wait. “… the timing of his antibiotics,” he said lamely, after some introspection.

“... oh!” Yaoyorozu was suddenly nodding fervently. “That is a very important point of discussion. You know, I’ve studied about the chemical structure of antibiotics, thinking that it may be useful during rescue operations, and…”

She practically bounced as they made their way back to her family’s limousine. He listened to her quite contentedly as she spoke about the intricacies and controversies about antibiotic use. It wasn’t long before they reached the dorm and he sated everyone’s questions about his brother, and it wasn’t long before he was saying “good night and thank you” to Yaoyorozu-kun, who gently told him the same thing with her wonderful voice.

He could listen to her voice forever, he decided, and he decided then that it was something worth waiting for.

Preview: Week 17, vs New York Jets

Sitting at 12-3 on the edge of the playoffs, the Patriots have an opportunity to seize the number one seed in the AFC playoffs with a victory over their divisional rival, the New York Jets.

Recent Previous Match-Ups

The Patriots have achieved victory over the Jets in every contest since 2015, but the Jets have played the Pats tough in that time frame. Earlier this year, Josh McCown and the Jets gave the New England squad all they had and lost a close one 24-17. The contest had shades of the Jets game in MetLife Stadium last season in which a, at the time, struggling Pats offense eeks out a victory (thanks to some late heroics by Chris Long) 22-17.

Other than a week 16 absolute annihilation at the hands of the Pats last year (41-3), the Jets have always put forth solid efforts in recent times against the Pats. In fact, putting aside that blowout, the largest margin of victory the Patriots have had over the Jets since 2013 is just seven points. 

A major difference, however, is the fact the Jets are going with Bryce Petty as their starting quarterback for this upcoming contest. Petty was also the starter during the aforementioned Christmas Eve blowout last season in favor of the Patriots (though he did get injured during the game and did not return) so the Pats must be licking their chops at another shot at the inexperienced Petty.

Current Team Trends

The Jets are not the worst team that the league has ever seen. The hype (anti-hype?) prior to this season ended up about as accurate as the claims that the Pats were going 19-0. The Jets are assuredly not good team, but they’re playing much better than anyone ever gave them credit, sitting at 5-10 entering the contest, and it could have been better than that if not for the Denver game.

Josh McCown played a solid season for the New York team, but his injury in the Denver game thoroughly halted any type of momentum gained from the previous week’s shocking victory over the Chiefs. Petty has looked awful at the position since taking over. He has completed just 47% of his passes for a touchdown and three interceptions. The team has lost their last two contests with Petty starting. Perhaps he just needs longer to develop, but it’s beginning to look like the Bryce Petty experiment was a total failure for the Jets.

For the Patriots, last week was a decisive showing over the Buffalo Bills. The Pats are flying high, and the emergence of the running attack has truly added layers to the Patriots offense. Simply put, when the Patriots are able to get Dion running in open space like last week, their offense is very capable of putting up 30 or more points. The defense being as clutch as they are in terms of scoring means that not many teams will have the ability to match the Patriots scoring in that instance.

Going up against a team not as motivated or as talented as the Bills should mean an easy end to the season for the Patriots, but the threat still must be taken seriously.

Key Players

New York

Robby Anderson - The twenty four year old receiver put together a hell of a season to this point. He’s 61 yards short of cracking 1,000, and has seven touchdown catches. He was a sporadic factor in the Jets offense in the last match up against the Patriots (12 targets, four catches for 76 yards), and with Kearse working through an ankle injury the Jets may be leaning more heavily on the young receiver. The receiver has seen a bulk of the Jets targets this season, and he’ll need a big day to get the Jets offense to open up enough to beat the Pats in Foxborough.

Bilal Powell - Simply put, Bryce Petty is not good enough to beat the Patriots with a pass-first offense. Petty has not shown any signs of being able to orchestrate a consistent drive, and his abysmal completion percentage is a big factor in this. The Jets will need to utilize their leading rusher, Powell, on early downs in order to ease the difficulty of Petty’s throws. If Petty is forced into third and long situations, anticipate turnovers and plenty of three and outs. Powell missed the last match up due to an injury, and the Jets rushing attack suffered because of it, so the 29 year old running back will need to get early yardage against an ailing Patriots linebacking unit.

Demario Davis - The Jets middle linebacker has been the highlight of the defense to this point, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. He’s the sack leader (which the middle linebacker position is typically not known for) with just five sacks on the season. The Jets have struggled mightily with their pass rush, totaling only 26 sacks going into the contest. Davis’ role will be a multi-layered one as a result. It will fall on him to slow down Dion Lewis and attempt to make the Patriots offense more dimensional, and he must get to the QB on obvious passing downs. The Jets simply have to generate pressure on Brady in order to have success on that side of the ball, and Davis very well might need to be the guy to do that.

New England

Dion Lewis - This has been stated already, so I’ll leave out the obvious. Dion has been an absolute workhorse for the Patriots in recent weeks which goes against everything that we saw and heard early in the season. With Burkhead and Gillislee already being ruled out (and the possibility of White missing an additional week), Lewis and Boldin will likely be the two running backs to see serious time against the Jets. Bolden has hardly played at the position this season, so one would anticipate Dion getting the call. 

Brandin Cooks - This may be more “wishful thinking” rather than an actual critical role, but Cooks had a great game against this Jets secondary in the last match up. He hauled in 6 passes for 94 yards including a 42 yard bomb from Brady. With how much the receiver’s production has dropped in recent weeks the Patriots might be looking to try and get him involved against a weaker defense to prepare him for the playoffs. 

James Harrison - This is a bit of a flashy pick, but I’m struggling to come up with members of the Pats that absolutely *need* to have a great game to win. Harrison could be a major factor for the Patriots due to injuries and the subsequent lack of depth at the position. Everyone anticipates that Harrison will be used exclusively as a passing down rusher, and with the injury to Eric Lee it could be the case that Harrison sees a lot of the field in said situations. If Harrison can get going this early, it will bode well for the Pats in the playoffs as pass rush has been an issue at points this season.

Injuries

The Jets have ruled out offensive tackle Brandon Shell, and tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins has been given the doubtful designation. Seferian-Jenkins could be a significant loss for the Jets as he had success against the Patriots in the previous match up, and Bryce Petty needs all the short range targets he can get.

Questionable includes: Ex-Patriot defensive end Kony Ealy (who was a late addition to the injury report with a foot injury on Friday), running back Matt Forte, and running back Akeem Judd. 

Of those questionable, Forte looks to be the most significant one in doubt. He has not participated at any point this week in practice and is a significant factor in the short passing attack of the Jets.

For the Patriots, defensive lineman Alan Branch, running back Rex Burkhead, and running back Mike Gillislee have all been declared out for the game. Gillislee is a bit of a surprise as an injury was not apparent during last week’s game, but he has missed the entire week of practice with a knee injury.

Questionable includes: wide receiver Chris Hogan, defensive end Eric Lee, safety Devin McCourty, special teams gunner Matthew Slater, linebacker Kyle Van Noy, right tackle LaAdrian Waddle, and running back James White.

Eric Lee is trending towards not playing after missing practice on Friday with an ankle injury. The only other surprise is Devin McCourty, but it would appear he should be able to play after participating in practice all week (albeit limited). One would hope the Kyle Van Noy may be able to make his first start, but the Pats may elect to give him additional time off or play him in a limited capacity.

Predictions

As previously mentioned, the match ups against the Jets tend to be difficult for the Patriots, and history would tell you that this game could go down to the wire. The Patriots are battered, and may seek to sit key players working through injuries just to ensure they will be able to return in full capacity in the playoffs. However, I just don’t believe that is enough of an advantage for the Jets.

I cannot stress enough how terrible Bryce Petty has looked so far in his career, and I don’t believe Bilal Powell will be enough to make up for that. In addition, a lack of pass rush for the Jets means Brady should have plenty of time to find open targets against an already struggling secondary. I anticipate the Pats to win this one easily as they lock up the number one seed for the second straight year.

Final Score Prediction: Patriots 34 - Jets 10

[7DQ] - The Tragedy of Yeonsan-gun

I started watching Queen for Seven Days (Q7D) on a whim this week. I went in expecting to enjoy a romance and some politics and yet another tyrant king who devolves into madness. But what I got was one of the most compelling character arcs for a “mad king” I’ve seen in a long time. 

I’ll be the first to admit to having a soft spot for Wang Yo from Moon Lovers, but he had absolutely not a single redeeming quality to make the outcome of his sorry life anything more than justified karma. Q7D’s tragic Yeonsan-gun is a completely different story, and I’ve been obsessively thinking about him now that I’ve caught up with the latest episodes. I’d like to explore his character on its own and in conjunction with Chae-kyung, Q7D’s heroine, to hopefully pin down what exactly is so compelling about him.

Behold the twisted paths of a rambling mind under the cut below!

~ the tragedy of a self-fulfilled prophecy ~

The Yeonsan-gun we’re introduced to is a flat out tyrant, and his people and ministers are beginning to grumble about how unworthy he is of the king’s seat. Fairly standard for a mad tyrant. The creators initially make it appear that he’s tormenting everyone around him for no reason--he refuses to listen to his ministers give their reports, he berates them, he belittles his brother, he’s constantly paranoid and on the defensive. He’s one prickly pear, and it’s initially quite difficult to understand why he hasn’t had his own head chopped off yet. 

I initially wrote him off, thinking there was no point in investing in a character so obviously set up to fall. But the creators surprised me on this one. Instead of treating him like a caricature of a person, they began to peel back the layers of the initial impression they gave of him, and with each layer peeled back a tiny hint of a potential pearl was revealed. 

Slowly we begin to learn more about him. Why is he paranoid about his sweet brother Yeok, who looks at him with such affection and devotion? Why because the former king had told Yeonsan in no uncertain terms that he was to step down from kingship when his brother was of age, because Yeonsan was destined to destroy the kingdom. His own father wrote him off, stole his birthright, and didn’t see any value in him. That’s a pretty big pill to swallow for anyone.

Now, if Yeok was Yeonsan’s full blood brother, things might have turned out differently. Yeonsan loved Yeok, but he slowly watched Yeok stand in the spotlight of their father’s attention. Yeonsan, whose own mother had been deposed, was left abandoned and alone--the unwanted son of a traitorous queen, with a prophecy of doom on his head, writing him off entirely as being of any worth at all.

This I think quite understandably turned Yeonsan bitter and resentful, and upon taking the throne, he was determined to keep it. That being said, as Yeok mentions early in the series, Yeonsan never harms Yeok, despite having plenty of opportunities to. This is thanks to the affection Yeonsan bears Yeok, in spite of all the resentment and the envy. There is real love there between them, even as it begins to be subsumed by the heavy burdens and isolation of the throne. 

Yeonsan’s troubles don’t end with his father’s death and his brother’s potential for usurpation. On top of these, his court is full of vipers--ministers hellbent on promoting their own ambitions and playing their little games. It’s clear early on that Yeonsan is completely and utterly fed up with the ministers to the point of holding each and every one of them in contempt. Worse, he has virtually no connection with his people, the people he’s meant to rule. Because he has no connection to the people, he is wasteful and extravagant and shows little interest in their welfare so long as his own needs are fulfilled.

Not a single person believes in Yeonsan as a person and moreover a king, other than Yeok, who is by birth Yeonsan’s rival and cannot become a trusted companion or advisor. Although Yeonsan has the comfort of a beautiful wife from the Shin family, he seems to have virtually no connection with her--likely she was forced upon him in marriage during his father’s reign, probably adding to his resentment. Had he chosen her on his own, I suspect he would be more attentive to her. He does have a concubine he seems to trust in a limited capacity, but this concubine is constantly conspiring with the ministers behind his back. Even though she’s working for Yeonsan’s sake, it’s also to keep herself in power. Basically Yeonsan has no team to support him, because they’re all acting against him in secret or are supporting him in unhelpful ways due to their own ambitions. No man is an island, and Yeonsan is isolated beyond reason. It’s no wonder he cracks.

Beyond this, Yeok’s mother the Queen plays her own games and is always lurking in the background, scheming to destroy Yeonsan in favor of her blood child. Yeonsan clearly wanted her affection and love, but was unable to receive either, adding further to his resentment toward Yeok despite Yeok having done no wrong.

All of this leads us to the present day Yeonsan, who is a man full of paranoia, rage, resentment, impotence, thwarted hopes, and desperation. He wants to prove the world wrong, but this very wish is driving him toward fulfilling the very prophecy he wants to escape. It’s a terrible tragedy that his family pushed him down this path and the ministers helped shove him over the edge, and then in the end he’ll be the one who must take responsibility for his failures, despite having never had a chance to begin with. 

The most tragic aspect of his character is that there is within him a small, tiny flame of light and justice. This small flame, if only someone could have found it much earlier, could have truly led him toward becoming a sage king, rather than a paranoid figure of tragedy. I know historically Yeonsan-gun was considered mad, and perhaps that’s accurate in truth (maybe he really did have a genuine and legitimate mental disorder). But it’s easy to drive a person to desperate acts that appear insane on the surface or to an outsider but are actually quite rational given the limited decisions the person has left to them, and perhaps this more nuanced version of Yeonsan is meant to highlight that not all madness comes from the mind--sometimes it’s a reaction to external influences, and without a strong foundation to guard it, the mind soon crumbles under the onslaught. Not to mention the old adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely, which may also be the more truthful result of Yeonsan’s fall. I’ll leave that to the historians, though, lol.

All I can say is that I’m going to cry buckets when this man meets his end. I’m not usually the type who wants to save villains from their foolish or arrogant actions, but this man is such an unfortunate wretch that my heart bleeds for him. It would be one thing if he’d been given every chance in the world and had squandered it due to pride or arrogance or selfishness. But I can’t bear how he was written off before he’d even been given a chance, how his own father could believe a prophecy over his own eyes. It’s one thing to try and fail and then be deposed, it’s another to be told from day one you never had a chance and you’ll never succeed no matter how hard you try. What a debilitating thing to tell your own son. All I can think is that the former king must have hated the deposed queen and his own resentment must have come out against Yeonsan. 

Although I know Yeonsan-gun’s story is headed straight to tragedy, I can’t help wishing there was some way to save him. 

~ the king who can only move a single space ~

One thing I really appreciate about Yeonsan is how he just rips into his ministers nearly every episode. I get such vicious glee out of watching him chew them out and taunt them and mock them. After watching so many sageuks where the ministers drive the sweet and kind heroes to distraction with their games, it’s absolutely refreshing to see a king who won’t take any of their shit. 

Unfortunately, he’s ultimately impotent and powerless. I think this story does such a wonderful job at highlighting how helpless a king is when he doesn’t have the natural charisma and wherewithal to navigate the political waters. Yeonsan has no support, and he seems to be under the childish impression that because he’s wearing the crown people have to do what he says. It’s a tragedy of the highest order that he doesn’t have wise advisors around him to help him understand that the crown is only a symbol and that it has no power in and of itself. 

~ a song of what might have been ~

A few things struck me after the time skip. One was that Yeonsan-gun is ridiculously talented--he plays instruments and paints professionally. He seems happiest when he’s playing the bard, a free spirit floating around the town, nameless and unknown. 

I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t have been happier giving up the throne entirely and abandoning politics altogether. It would have been impossible for him, I know--the throne is really all he has and to let that go would cast him adrift into a sea of chaos he might not emerge from intact. He’s so desperate to prove his father wrong that he would never have been able to let the throne go. His resentment’s too strong for that. 

Still, it’s touching that he is willing to dispense with guards and servants and live on his own, helping Chae-kyung with the anniversary service meal without a single complaint, shopping with her, eating peasant food without turning his nose up. It makes me want to write some kind of alternate universe story where he realizes he needs to sacrifice the throne for his own good and goes on to become a renowned minstrel or something. Then he really could have gotten his own back on his father--rather than destroying the kingdom, his poems and songs become emblematic of the kingdom’s prosperity. 

It’s too bad humans are so foolish that they cling to the things that hurt them the most when letting go and sacrificing them is sometimes the only way to move forward. 

~ love arrived too late conquers none ~

Okay, I saved Yeonsan-gun and Chae-kyung for last because...holy mackerel this ship’s gonna be the death of me. ;D I never expected to get on board this thing, but now that I am it’s going to be such a heart wrenching experience watching everything fall apart. 

I probably should have put this in its own post, but I feel so much of Yeonsan’s interactions with Chae-kyung point out the inner light he still carries that it has to be part of this exploration of the depth of his character. So here we are, lol. From the moment they first met in the pool after she chased him down, I thought “oh no, this is my ship.” It’s absolutely adorable that Chae-kyung checks Yeonsan out--she has more of a reaction to him as a man than she does to Yeok later on, lol. What an adorable meet cute. It’s such a shame they’re doomed to never even have a chance. 

The thing that I noticed Chae-kyung brings out in Yeonsan is his smile. The man does not smile, unless it’s a mocking or derisive smirk. When he’s with Chae-kyung, his eyes light up like a sad puppy’s and although he tries to keep a poker face, these small tic smiles force their way onto his face. He usually covers them up quickly, but it’s just so deeply endearing to see Chae-kyung surprise a smile on his face, or a laugh. You can tell he’s not used to joy, and that it comes unnaturally to him, and that says a lot about his character without us needing to explore his back story any further. Kudos to his actor for doing such a fantastic job--the sheer amount of micro-expressions he puts into Yeonsan’s interactions with Chae-kyung never cease to leave me speechless.

Chae-kyung also brings out Yeonsan’s sense of humor, which is adorable and dry and clever and fun. If his court could have seen this side of him, maybe he’d have more political sway. But to show humor, you have to be wiling to be vulnerable, and Chae-kyung’s the only person who’s able to give Yeonsan enough of a sense of safety that he’s willing to let down his guard.

And that’s really the main thing I love about Chae-kyung’s effect on Yeonsan--her simple, honest affection is enough to make him feel safe for probably the first time in his life. He’s looking for a home, a place to rest and feel secure. It’s easy to see why he’s never had that--his father threw out his mother and then rejected him entirely, and his stepmother gave him nothing. Yeonsan took care of Yeok, and Yeok loved him back, but Yeok’s love wasn’t enough to cancel out the resentment. Yeonsan has never had that feeling of “home.” That’s why Chae-kyung, and her father really, get under his skin so much--these people offer him family, something he desperately, desperately wants underneath it all. Although he tells Chae-kyung not to call him brother, he doesn’t press the issue and continues to allow her to attach herself to him. Near her, he can sleep and the nightmares disappear, because he feels protected. It might seem kind of bizarre for a grown man to feel protected by a child, and then by a woman later on, but I think that’s what’s going on here. Something about Chae-kyung makes Yeonsan feel safe, the way a mother or sister does. 

I don’t know if Yeonsan has romantic feelings for Chae-kyung. I’d say those are probably in there now that she’s older, and that they’re growing now that he’s getting heavily involved with her, but at the same time I think the simplicity of familial devotion that she offered him was the foundation of their bond, and I think that’s the piece that will always remain, no matter what happens. 

He responds to Chae-kyung’s devotion with such a fierce desire to please her that it’s hard not to compare him to a puppy she picked up in the rain, haha. When she tells him that family should stick together, he rethinks his position on Yeok. When she tells him just to punish her alongside Yeok, he’s flabbergasted at her desire to protect both Yeok and him. When she tells him that he can become a sage king and do his father proud and restore his mother to her rightful place, he begins to change his actions to meet her wishes, much to the derision of Yeok and the Queen and the ministers. When she tries to get him to paint red on the ink wash painting of the Chinese rose, he immediately gives into her wishes despite an obligatory refusal. He clearly wants to please her and make her smile, and these are aspects of his character he’s probably never had the opportunity to explore. 

This man has never known tenderness. He doesn’t know how to demonstrate affection or speak of his feelings. His love comes out in all these adorable, quiet ways that Chae-kyung sadly will never notice because her heart is elsewhere. When they chat at the table in episode 5, he gets all shy after he touches her face (I love how he’s always looking away shyly when he notices her as a woman or when she makes him smile and he doesn’t want her to know). When he finds her drenched in the rain, he offers his own umbrella to her, catches her in his arms, and then immediately begins ordering her to get herself dry. Anyone else would ask her if she’s alright, but he’s never said those words in his life. Instead he offers gentle orders to eat or dry up or tell him what’s happened. In time, perhaps, he could have made that final leap to speaking more gently and carefully, but he softens where he can. 

He takes a huge step forward when he rescues her from being tied up on the cross and feeds her the antidote for the poison with his own hands. Like this is huge stuff for a king, especially this king in particular. For him to allow himself to express this much affection for someone is a milestone. Of course, this alerts all the ministers to a new weakness, which is unfortunate. Just as he’s beginning to learn to love, he’ll be quashed by the calculating cunning of his ministers. Still, he tries to save her father and her. The moment when he faces her down in episode 8 as she begs him to punish her rather than her family breaks my heart. He says her name over and over, wanting her to let him save her, but she won’t give in--insisting that in spite of all he’s offered her, she’s the one who’s let him down.

That’s the other thing about Chae-kyung that I think really gets to Yeonsan. She absolutely appreciates and values how he sticks his neck out for her, but she also fears for him and doesn’t want him to lose his influence because of her or her actions. Even though she loves Yeok and is desperate to protect him, she also wants to protect Yeonsan. The girl just has so much love in her heart, and it’s such a shame she’ll ultimately be unable to bring these brothers together and rebuild the torched fence between them. 

I think Chae-kyung’s interactions with Yeonsan-gun help us see what he could have been if someone had only given him the chance. Chae-kyung enters Yeonsan’s life far too late to achieve any great results, and his course was long since set before she arrived on the scene. He was already married and in the hands of a cunning concubine; there was never any room for Chae-kyung, and now Chae-kyung has no room for him either. 

In the end, I just feel grateful for anything the creators are willing to give me with this pair at this point. I know Chae-kyung will marry Yeok and that Yeonsan-gun’s in for a tragic end, but still... I hope there’re still some moments in the future episodes for me to enjoy highlighting this pair and their potential. Ultimately, they’re a love that can never be which was over before it started, but still, I can’t help but find it the more compelling love story in Q7D. Yeok, you’ve got a long way to go to overcome your big bro. Good luck, m’boy. ;)

So I Now Have a Buzzcut

Surprise! I relatively recently decided to go natural and this weekend I did the “big chop”.

There’s no where to start but at the beginning so I’ll start there.

My great grandma was a white British lady, great grandpa was from the West Indies. My grandpa inherited a naturally soft texture of hair as a result, and my mom got her hair from him. Because of this she always had hair that was relatively easy to maintain, and that grew way down to her back almost effortlessly. So when she had kids with my dad, whose genes seem to be pretty much your typical Afro-Caribbean all around, she just couldn’t deal with our coarser hair types.

And I say all this to state that I’ve had my hair relaxed since I was 6 years old. I don’t even really remember my hair before that, and can only tell from pictures and stories about what it was like. I know that once when I was little I fell asleep with gum in my mouth and when I woke up it was all over my hair, so mum had to cut my hair into two “picky” pigtails - though it was so short at the time it could barely fit. And pictures do show that it was very thick and frankly looking frazzled and dry.

But my relaxed hair was a great source of pride for me, because it was always much softer and longer than my siblings and anyone else in my family except my mom. It was pretty normal for people to ask me if I was wearing a wig/weave, and when I was in my prime it was so long and healthy that people didn’t even ask anymore - they just straight up assumed it was weave and asked where I bought such great quality.

I just couldn’t understand how some of my friends - including my best friend - didn’t have or want relaxed hair. My bff (and other friends) said their hair actually dropped when they attempted to relax it, so just remained natural after and I just couldn’t get it. Despite this my bff has been encouraging me to go natural for a looooong time, insisting that I could still have the long hair but just in a more healthy way.

She never was overbearing with it, although her insistence did become stronger during those few tough months leading up to me having to leave Canada when my hair was thinning out very badly from all the stress.

But the problem is - or was- that I HATE curly hairstyles. i think they can look very cute on others, don’t get me wrong. But personally I’ve hated whenever my hair got put into curls, even from when I was little. I’ve been the kind of girl who knows what she wants for a very long time, and curls are not it. For me that was what really made the natural thing lose its appeal. I very much love the ideology of going natural - that you’re not spending all this money to chemically alter your hair as if there is something inherently wrong with your natural hair that must be changed.

But for my personal style it was just the biggest turn off. Bestie insisted I could just straighten it but to me that suggested that it would not last as long as a relaxer so I shunned it.

BUT.

When I came back to this shithole that is my hometown, I had to keep cutting my hair over and over again because that thin spot in the back just refused to heal. It would grow as far as to my shoulders again, but never back to the glorious back-length that I had before. It would always be breaking in that one spot and I’d have to cut to barely neck-length once again.

So, earlier this year my sister went natural. She did a big chop but after transitioning for a while so she had some length by the time she went through with it. For her it’s different because, unlike me, she’s always loved curls so going natural made all the sense in the world. While relaxed she would often get curly styles then not comb her hair for days to keep the curls in, and now that she’s natural she gets to do all that while keeping it healthy. I’ll come back to this point later but seeing her progress was actually very reassuring for me when I eventually decided to join #teamnatural.

But in all seriousness it was actually spirituality that led me to this path and I sincerely thank my Goddesses and my ancestors for the guidance.

You see, having to move back “home” from Canada was incredibly traumatizing for me. And I often lamented over what I’d lost. Especially since at work there have been a few co-workers that function at the high school level so have been doing their best to turn the office into a “clique” situation and “bully” me. It has been grotesquely annoying because while I am their superior, I don’t have any actual power to enforce rules and my boss largely lets them run wild. my entire situation at work has been a shit show to be quite frank, because I do a lot but don’t get paid half of what I’m worth and have had -50 luck with finding another job because the economy is that shitty and my degree in English hasn’t exactly been helpful in a small ass town.

It was a source of great frustration and one day it came boiling over. My misophonia was being aggravated, the work environment was incredibly unprofessional to say the least, and I felt I was putting in so much more than I was getting back. And I got incredibly depressed, and starting once again thinking of how much I had lost in Canada. All that potential, all that happiness - lost. And for what? So I could be forced into this hell on Earth scenario?

It made me feel incredibly isolated spiritually as well. After all this time I had come to superficially accept that, for whatever reason, I was meant to be back here now. but I couldn’t rationalize why. i actually very seriously considered that I was being punished for something or many things, and that it was my curse to live out this sentence.

And then I realized something. While I’d been getting more into doing tarot readings, and actually doing a few for some of my bff’s friends, I never actually consulted the cards about what happened with Canada, and why the path led me here.

So I spent some time doing personal readings which were so clear they astounded me, and I spent some time meditating and thinking about my life based on the guidance from the cards. And I came to the conclusion that I’m here to start over with a fresh slate so that I can develop the life I want.

Letting go had been an incredibly hard lesson, but one I learned after all the kicking and screaming. But in a way I was still resisting by being so disgusted with my being here, rather than seeking to find the meaning of it.

When I was in high school, I didn’t care about anything. And I do mean anything, including physical appearance. I walked around looking quite terrible and not giving a shit because I hated everyone and everything, and nothing had meaning, but more importantly there was no need for me to care. I had no one to impress, no great mission to accomplish, I was honestly in a pessimistic way just being - which is the very goal of meditation (albeit in a different way).

Reflecting on the adult high school that is basically my work environment helped me to make the connections on this. That I’m here once again to just be. To just exist in a cocoon and take advantage of the freedom of not giving a shit so that I can develop my life into the butterfly I would like to see, and would be happy with.

The second part of the lesson, which I hadn’t even thought about until this point, was what comes after Letting Go - Beginning Again.

This was around the New Moon in Leo (talk about a real fire starter) and thinking on how the different aspects of the Triple Goddess shape me differently.

I  felt compelled to complete the cycle. To complete my letting go of the past - releasing the pangs of nostalgia and the resentment. To stop passively resisting the change - thinking on what I “lost” and longing to return. To stop investing in that which does not serve my greatest good - the bullshit at work and throwing myself so much into it, and letting my idiot co-workers get under my skin. To let myself be humbled and take this time to be “ugly” and not yet developed while moving into where I need to be.

So when all of this was thrown together in the pot of my life, I decided it was time to let go of my hair too. To start over anew, the natural & healthy way. I decided one evening, and the more I thought about it the more I decided to go for it.

I cleaned the house after not having the energy to for months. I started a diet regimen to lose weight and get down to where I’d like to be, and I forgive myself if I splurge one or two days a week. I started picking up hobbies that I’d put aside, and when I have some funds coming in I’m going to complete an online course. I’m meant to be at the “imperfect” in between stage right now, and I’ve come to terms & peace with that.

For a while I was thinking about whether I should transition or chop, but ultimately I decided I didn’t want to be carrying the past on my back anymore so decided to just completely shave it all in one go. Plus a hairdresser once told me that my hair apparently grows from its ends so keeping the past there literally seemed to only be stunting my growth.

I told no one, except bestie and even then I only spilled a few days before cause I was bursting with excitement and couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. My sister screamed when she saw me lmao, and it got my family buzzing about it very quickly.

But I absolutely LOVE the way it turned out. It felt soooo right to have it all sheared, even though the hairdresser kept stopping at different lengths and asking me if I was sure. I had no tears or regret, and even now my soul just feels so uplifted with my decision to accept this and begin anew.

I wholeheartedly plan on being a “straight hair natural” because as I’ve said, that’s just me. But this is of course a whole new journey for me since I’ve never had to actually deal with my or anyone’s natural hair. Plus I get now why they call it a natural hair journey, and it’s because everyone’s hair is different. There is so much exploring of my own self to do!

So far I can see that my hair grows in a similar pattern to my grandfather on my mom’s side - the top grows forward and the rest falls to its respective side. I remember being a kid watching him brush his hair and now I do it the same way lol. It’s just amazing that I’m almost 30 and never once knew that my hair grows like that.

My hair also feels very soft though, and since it’s known to grow quickly I’m excited to see how it will turn out. I have no idea what I’ll do to get it straight when it’s still too short for a flat iron but well I’ll just have to see.

I’m seriously happy with this and I’m very very very much excited to go forward. I’ve also been thinking about the potential to incorporate my witchcraft into this with hot oil treatments infused with certain ingredients and charged with intent.

In the long term I’m thinking I’ll dye it dark grey. And eventually get laser eye surgery so I can actually wear makeup and be able to see at the same time again. I’d like very much to setup a nice self for future me! My moments of hope are rare so I’ll seize them when I can.

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Edit pics with the awesome photo editor for Windows and pros The definition of picture modifying is the process of reshaping a picture, basically put. Still this is oversimplifying a topic which is rather complex. You can generally perform straightforward photo modifying techniques just like edit images relatively easily and swiftly but complicated methods and also digital editing and enhancing might need photo editor and also more experience. Photo editor is a tool which you can make use of to adjust and also increase photos. Due to the fact that pictures have a raising amount of usages, numerous services are experiencing techniques to reuse pictures and also make use of them on many different ways. Photo editor has actually turned into really intricate and also effective and it is possible to adjust images therefore they come to be totally different out of the initial. There actually are loads of photo editor as well as wide ranges of techniques of attaining the exact or very much the same final results. The purpose most when it comes to a lot of images I upload process is actually to make them look as normal as actually possible. I have no doubt this is an outstanding point to begin, also in case you would like to continue on and produce more unique appearing photographs. Coloration range in a photo is among the biggest priorities. The eyes have the ability to usually see a more comprehensive range of shade than your electronic camera most likely make.

Photo editor

Either the most misconstrued parts of digital photography is what occurs after you made the photograph in truth editing your photos. Here we will cover some concepts for editing your pictures, from the essentials like photos color correction and also edit an image, via a lot more complicated activities. The cut out technique allows you to alter the size of your picture, as well as also to transform the aspect ratio. For instance, you can crop a photo from a rectangle-shaped shape to a round form. There are many factors you would want to cropping, consisting of for publishing in various formats as well as element proportions. Compared to the original, I have chopped the image with photo editor to eliminate the colored part of the right-hand side of the picture as well as recomposed making use of the guideline of quarters. That makes the darkness screw extra the emphasis of photo shot. When making the image, you may wonder why I didn't just compose correctly. So in this case, I was actually preparing an extensive presence photo shot with no a tripod, so had actually the cam stabilized on the side of the pier for security. That significantly restricted my capability to completely mount the minute, so I just shot larger, understanding I had to be able to chop the shot properly as a result of the reality. In both instances, cropping is really simple and also it is simply entails you picking the cropping device and also after that selecting the location you wish to maintain with your computer mouse. After that you apply the adjustments and your brand-new chopped picture prepares to go. In some cases there will certainly be something within a picture that you totally do definitely not wish to be there, like an annoying pimple on another person's face. That is simple to remove in all of the main photo editor. It is definitely easy to clear away any objects directly out of an image however the photo editor functions great on unique, small objects that are certainly circled by uniform color tones. This is due to the fact that the heal device has to change the area you wish to erase with something else, and this works finest when it has an area close by that looks comparable. So for example, a pimple on a face is surrounded by a great deal of likewise colored skin, so the recover device can conveniently determine what to change the bright spot based on the bordering area. This is actually because the photo editor has to switch the sector you like to remove together with another thing, as well as this runs most ideal anytime it gets an area close that looks relatable to each other. All it takes is a considerable amount of imagination and also a proficiency of some of the extremely finest photo editor provided in the marketplace. Photo editor does possess a few of the features is popular for, which comes rather convenient when you've decided on you've like to try your give on something even more high end than Cliparts in photos and edit images. Photo editor may furthermore bring in stills from video recording, besides different documents. And when you're experiencing a bit lazy or even it is actually just plain oblivious regarding just how to use a few of the resources, an assistant can help you adjustment the fundamentals just as illumination, focus, color, and sharpening of pictures. For this people that like their photos in widescreen versions, the photo editor aids you beautifully produced images to make a beautiful picture. As well as if it is actually opportunity to printing off your digital photography abilities, you may choose among the photo plan concept layouts to automatically print all of them in a certain measurement. This photo editor is well for enthusiastic trainees along with a bunch of time in their manpower to identify the too technical features that would terrify very first time picture editing and enhancing individuals. It also happen got ready along with a 360 panorama program. Very most probably the shiniest treasure in the package would be the stunning skin outcome, which evens out and also eliminates reddish patches out the skin tone. While there is actually no self-regulating color repair option somewhat necessary to repair the terrible lighting very most digital video cameras catch, there are the simple functions of edit an image.

Photo editor for Windows

Photo editor for Windows and experienced with many great functions free download Sometimes when we take a photograph, components of the photo might wind up being actually darker than we want. We refer to the shady spots of the picture as shadows, and also the brilliant spots of the shot as highlights. Variance is actually about emphasizing the variation between the light fixture as well as darker parts of the image. Enhancing the contrast of a photograph can dramatically enhance the visible influence that had, by creating the borders in between these dark and also light parts more clear. Coloring correction is one other vital component related to the photo editor. We can readjust photograph coloring in every kind of ways, starting with altering the overall character of the picture such as just how http://www.in-mediakg.com/software/photo-editor/ red or green it looks, to individually altering the tone and also concentration of certain colors contents of a photo. I simply just desire to go over a few really easy color adjustments anyone can utilize to make your photography just a little extra aesthetically effective. The most effective solution in order to regulate the color related to a photograph is with the hue method of the photo editor. This modifies the visual appeal related to every single color scheme in a picture to help make it essentially condensed. Similar to many edits, the key is actually to get a great harmony excessive saturating the photos have a tendency to seem rather unusual. Hue photos can easily be actually pretty reliable, and obviously white colored and black is an exceptional decision for all kind of scenarios, particularly, family portraits, as well as specific panorama views. One of my personal scratch annoyances in taking photos is if the perspective line in an image is uneven. Sometimes whenever we are actually taken up in the moment, this essential policy is forgotten but the excellent information is such editing your photos with the photo editor to make them grade is also really simple. Stabilizing the cam within the edge of the boat dock indicated that the photo was uneven this is notably noticeable to the vision whenever the image has actually a clearly described horizon line, like the ocean. This leveling device becomes part of the cropping device, as well as you can easily simply just spin the picture to suit. The grate will certainly show up to allow you acquire the placement ideal as soon as you utilize the photo editor. Pointing a photo is a really basic task in which will take just a few seconds, causing a lot more visually wowing image.

Episode #9: "we're here for the messy bitch game play right" - Annabelle

Tribal was f*ckin wild. Like didnt see that coming and Nicole we literally never talked so dont come for me. 👏

So far Nicole’s attempt hasnt affected anything. And plus Sharky took more of the heat and more blood on his hand and I did for coming up with the Nicole vote. Like im scream team to the end but like it works better for me if people dont see me as a huge threat right now unlike Sharky. I think i might be in a good spot and with an advatage with this immunity hopefully i can win.

Well... I refuse to be booboo the fool right now. I have conflicting information currently about who voted me so guess what? I am not gonna trust anyone LMAO. Everyone is denying and pointing the fingers at others and its fucking pissing me off. Like just own up to voting me so i can have a clear target my fucking god. Like goodbye see you soon!

from my confessional cause i just went off in it LOL about the last tribal: i know brian and sharky did not vote me nate and bryce are being fishy maynor seems non exsistant keaton is literally opening his big mouth and getting himself in more trouble i trust anna enough and nick thinks he is "iconic" for an idol play like boi con-fucking-gratulations that you can do something many have done before you

Like, im so done with these people, just let me play my idol in peace smh

So I basically threw this challenge. I just put myself for most of the positives and I put Keaton for most of the negatives. With a few random answers sprinkled in. I get so nervous about really trying on Touchy Subjects because Im worried about revealing my alliances and stuff. This way I just look cocky. And Keaton and I are already on bad terms so me putting him for the negatives might piss him off but probably not anyone else. Ugh

ok so me snapping and voting matt is really annoying KJFHDSAKJFDHS idk why i did that! i was crazy back then... so current thinking is that me/matt/keaton voted matt. and then nicole did keaton and everyone else did nicole. i dont think anyone suspects me but like they woudlnt tell me if they do FJKASDHFKJ apparently matt thinks that nathan did it and anna thinks that it was keaton and maynor and im just like :| FSAJDHFKD. also this comp is about to ruin me like my answers are def gonna make ppl hate me and plus i wrote myself for some good ones which i never do but idk im just really feeling myself so cant wait for the crushing weight of reality to knock me down a peg or two when i get like "next voted out" "doesnt deserve to be here" AFJKSDFHKAJ but maybe not... anyways i recently got obsessed with shakira again like.. im thriving

https://i.imgur.com/5o6sz3j.png when i tell u i screamed JKDFASHKJAD

Okay so Touchy Subjects ALWAYS blows up my game. Like I got all the ones that make people target you. Running the Game. Biggest Snake. Physical Threat. I even somehow managed to get "Trust the Most" and "Best Liar". HOW!? And now I'm super worried because if I wasn't on everybody's radar before I sure am now. And I have no idea who I can trust after those rogue Matt votes. I even feel slightly sketched out by Nick. He's acting...weird. And he keeps telling everyone there is a war between me and Keaton. Which I guess is sort of true because Keaton is throwing my name out there. And obviously I would rather him go. 

everyone is so extra JKDAHSKFJ matt making a post about how the ppl who are lying and saying they didnt vote him are personally effecting him are terrible like.. ok sorry for not exposing myself get over it u got 3 votes one of which were ur own and maybe if u were more active and didnt reply with one word responses no matter how hard i tried to get u to speak i wouldnt have thrown the vote on u. im just like so over his entitledness that ppl confess to him like who do u think u are KJFHADKJFDH. i feel like maybe im being too mean so if matt reads this after the game im sure ur just in ur feelings or w/e and u did say u had personal stuff going on but like thats not an excuse to go on tirades in the tribe chat when no one but u cares.

keaton is the worst person ive ever met (and i know zach :s) weird of him to choose white ppl saying the n word as his hill to die on but um i got the cannon ready to aim and hes going :airplane: to jury.

OK, so basically Annabelle wins immunity!  Good for her, but she's literally not doing enough for me to feel beyond happy for her kjHD... like she's nice and I like her, but at the end of the day, I really don't think she's doing much to propel herself and she's just getting kinda lucky... considering the first and now second immunity have been somewhat luck based... ya....

Keaton's the name being thrown into the mix already (it's only 9:11pm), and I really am fine with that this time around!  I like him, but I think he's just someone who can easily go now and it not be bad for me in the future.  He's already thrown out Sharky's name and basically called out Sharky to his face, so I'm kinda shaking in my booties.  As long as it ain't me, I'm happy enough to listen, but I just don't want any big surprises like the Matt votes, again.

Sharky has been thrown out as the biggest threat in this game right now, and while I think it's very apparent to everyone, I can't have him going anywhere right now.  No fucking way.  I love the shark man.  He's my favorite... he cannot go anywhere... I need him!!  So buh-fucking-bye, Keaton!  I may like you, but it's not enough to keep you.

Keaton is trash.

Let me elaborate on my previous confessional. So first Keaton tries to call me out for mentioning his name which I didn't do (I did admit to it to save the drama so thats partially on me) but he tries to call me out in public after the vote. Gross. Then after the challenge he starts gunning for me hard. He wants to claim I was doing the same but I wasn't gunning for him very hard. Because i didn't care if he went. He wasn't an ally but he wasn't a threat either. until he started trying to tear me down. Also let's be clear this all started because EVERYONE thinks he's rude and annoying. Then he tries to come for me in pms calling me out for spreading lies. Which again I NEVER DID. So I straightened him out on that. Then he tries to do the "If I don’t get you out now I never will and then we all lose." which is BULLSHIT. Don't get mad and angry with me just because I'm playing better than you. CHILDISH. Then in the tribe chat he says "As a player he can burn. As a person he's enjoyable." IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE HIM!? First of saying I can burn makes me want to really drag him. Also bro you and i don't talk you don't know shit about me as a person. You did that just to feed this "Feud" thats going on. STFU. Bye. Whichever one of us goes I'm glad I won't have to talk to his KIRBY LOOKING ASS anymore. I wish Marie had stayed.

Okay I can't lie I'm super nervous about this vote. I just don't trust anyone. I'm talking to Annabelle now and was like "I'm down to vote for anybody" because I'm not sure where she's at and I want her to know I am a vote for her.

Well. Good thing is that i wasnt dragged with with what Nicole said which is good with me. I didnt get any touchy subject which is also great. My two best allies Sharky and Keaton both did which means they’ll be targeted before I do. Which is awesome. Me and Nathan dont want to see Keaton go so we got Annabell and Bryce to be with us for a 5 person voting block thats going after Matt. Thats right, Matt is going home. Keaton plan was to try and distract Sharky and fight with him and have both of their names on the chopping block. This means that Matt wont see this blindside happening. And if Sharky has an idol, he’ll waste it cuz he won’t be getting any votes. Its gonna sbe wild af. Be ready.

Its been very quiet this morning. The plan has been set so im hoping that nothing else shatters the plan. The idol search doesnt like me as it likes Nick. Only thing i found was an advantage for next immunity which was an extra point butnit was touchy subject so i kinda threw it cuz said my name for the ones i felt where really bad. And i want to give a shout out for host Drew. You are an amazing and cool person.

OK, so Nathan has been going behind me and Sharky's back to target Matt... and I'm just shook to my fucking core.... bless Annabelle's big heart for telling Sharky because it gave us some room to snap hard.  I know Matt has an idol, and I cannot wait for him to pull it out at tribal.  I think that Nathan is thinking very short term and thinking him not telling me and Sharky is just some move he can make on his own, but as the Touchy Subjects' results showed us, Nathan thinks he's running the game but Sharky is actually doing it.  Getting this info... what a fucking legend...

Annabelle doesn't want to be screwed because of this whole situation so Sharky wants to avoid voting Nathan out but I lowkey don't care.  Nathan keeping me out of the conversation makes me lose all trust in him.  I know I'm not the target, but it doesn't change the fact that he's trying to run the game behind my back.  It's not going to work, sir.  It won't.

Ok... I'm angry, but I'm going to have to control that anger and turn it into making the best decision for my game and that will be to work with Matt and Sharky till the end.

Brace yourself this is going to be a LONG ONE. So last night I basically went to Anna and tried to save my ass because I really haven't been sure how genuine our alliance was because of our history together. She basically kept saying she was in a tough spot and this and that and so I outright asked her if she was considering voting for me. And she was like absolutely not. Which is such a relief. HOWEVER! She confesses that Nathan has created a secret plan to vote out Matt. He specifically told everyone not to tell me and Brian about it. EXCUSE ME? Aren't we in an alliance dude? So thats really pisses me off. But supposedly they have the majority for this plan. So that means I don't have to worry about myself as much. But I don't want Matt to go. Especially after this proved that he's one of the only ones I trust. So I'm thinking out of 9 votes we have 3 we can maybe use the steal a vote or something to try and get a majority. CUT TO THIS MORNING. I tell Brian about this secret plan and Brian tells me Matt has a freakin idol!!! So now we can use his idol and even if there are 5 votes left Matt/Brian/Myself control that vote then. Now the tough part...I need the vote to stay on Keaton because if it goes to anybody else Anna is going to think I screwed her over. And I promised her that her telling me wouldn't bite her in the ass. I also need this to stay TOP SECRET because if anyone finds out I leaked the plan they are going to come after me and I love Matt but I don't want to destroy my game to save him. So we need to have Matt use his idol and all 3 of us need to vote for Keaton.

God these people. I am VERY sure I am getting votes tonight and it's ok. Why? Cause I have an idol fuck these cunts. If not the WOOO love a minority!

i'm playing a super dangerous game right now but it's ok hopefully it works out we're here for the messy bitch game play right and i also just like play better in chaos so let's keep it that way once the game gets boring people will think of me.

Y'all I'm feeling real shitty about this week. I still feel super in danger. i feel like everyone is lying to my face. But I'm also worried for Matt. Luckily he has an idol so he'll be safe but the fact that he's catching votes at all is concerning. I hope it's Keaton going out but you just truly never know. This could be my time.

So it seems Matt might be an option for the vote but the questions I have are: Do I trust Matt enough to tell him he’s getting votes? Am I willing to make an early move? How will this will effect me moving forward? And when thinking between Keaton and Matt... I think I know my decision…

The shit hit the fan. Somehow Nick knows the hidden real plan that it was going to be Matt tonight. Keaton keeps lying to Bryce that he’s doing Sharky but Bryce is the number we have to have majority over Matt. Keaton is being sketchy kinda. Hopefully the plan goes according and Matt goes because last time he was doing a witch hunt for those 2 votes. Im going to be drinking at tribal tonight. Shit is too stressful.

Keaton is idoled out in a 6-3 vote.

Dobber’s Offseason Fantasy Grades 2018: Edmonton Oilers

Dobber's offseason fantasy hockey grades – Edmonton Oilers

  For the last 15 years (12 with The Hockey News, last year’s via pinch-hitter Cam Robinson) Dobber has reviewed each team from a fantasy-hockey standpoint and graded them.

The 16th annual review will appear here on DobberHockey throughout the summer. This is not a review of the likely performance on the ice or in the standings, but in the realm of fantasy hockey.

Enjoy!

  * * Buy the 13th annual DobberHockey Fantasy Guide here – always updated and you can download immediately * * 

  Gone – Yohann Auvitu, Iiro Pakarinen, Laurent Brossoit, Eric Gryba, Anton Slepyshev, Mike Cammalleri

  Incoming – Tobias Rieder, Kyle Brodziak, Kevin Gravel, Mikko Koskinen

  Impact of changes – It looks like just a simple dressing room upgrade this summer, along with what is probably going to be a huge upgrade in the backup goaltender. Brodziak is a strong dressing room presence, Gravel is a depth defenseman with a lot of size, and Rieder offers good two-way depth although his offensive upside can be overrated at times. Koskinen has been a top KHL goaltender for years and if Cam Talbot stumbles again this year and Koskinen could theoretically steal the top job if he dominates the NHL half as well. Talbot had a heavy workload the last two seasons, averaging 70 starts, and he also had twin babies that no doubt threw him off his schedule at times.

The message here is that the team plans to play with the hand they have. The main weakness – defense – can’t be fixed via free agency. And when they tried, well, you know how that story went. To try the trade route again would have other NHL GMs licking their chops. No thank you. With a better workload and mindset, Talbot will bounce back. And with Connor McDavid lighting it up with his newfound wingman Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, the 7-6 wins will be fun to watch. McDavid had 61 points in his last 39 games, with RNH a big part of that over the final 20. Moving Ryan Strome to third-line center and making Nugent-Hopkins first-line left wing was a great move for all involved and completely changed Edmonton’s fortunes, albeit too late. Now GM Peter Chiarelli is gambling on that magic just continuing.

  Ready for full-time – Ethan Bear gave mixed results during his 18-game stint with the big club late last season. On one hand he showed some creativity and vision when it comes to the offense. But there was plenty of bad decision-making and with his lack of foot speed he often can’t recover from those bad decisions. But everything is a lesson for 21-year-olds and it’s all a part of the development curve. Bear is still the next guy in line for a recall when the team needs a defenseman (and if they don't find a replacement for Andrej Sekera that could be sooner than they should). Added AHL time will only help, and that is probably where he will be for at least the first half of the season. (Read Bear's scouting profile here)

Cooper Marody was acquired from the Flyers in the summer after a strong college campaign. The Oilers signed him shortly after as he forewent his senior year. The team will likely give him a look this season at some point. He had 51 points in 40 games for Michigan in 2017-18, and is a right-shooting centerman who could be an answer to their right wing problem if the other attempts (Ty Rattie, Pontus Aberg, Jesse Puljujarvi, Kailer Yamamoto) fail to bear fruit right away. (Read Marody's scouting profile here)

Speaking of Rattie, he will finally get his shot. He signed his first one-way contract after closing out last season on the McDavid line. He’s 25 and most pundits believe that at that age his odds of making the jump so late and succeeding are slim. This is partially the product of him being such a highly regarded prospect when he was 18, 19, 20 and 21 – perhaps poolies feel jaded? He has his shortcomings, but did anyone care about Rob Brown’s shortcomings when he was putting the puck in the net alongside Mario Lemieux? Did anyone care about Matt Moulson’s shortcomings when he was doing the same alongside John Tavares? If Rattie is given 20 games alongside McDavid, I think he’ll make it work. If Coach Todd McLellan loses patience under fan pressure if things look terrible eight games in – then it won’t work. I’m going to put it at 30% that McDavid makes a Matt Moulson out of him. Bold? Well that’s my middle name. In fact, if you type DobBoldHockey.com in the URL bar up top it will forward you to this site. Not really. (Read Rattie's scouting profile here)

  Edmonton Oilers prospect depth chart and fantasy upsides can be found here (not yet ready for mobile viewing, desktop only right now)

  Fantasy Outlook – Anytime you have a forward who can potentially get 70 points, then you want that forward. Even if the odds are slim. Well, on the Oilers you can say that about most of the forwards that have one iota of offensive skill. Yes, this means you have a bunch of fantasy owners running around with a butterfly net trying to catch something and often looking foolish doing it, but it’s what makes fantasy hockey fun. The thrill of the catch! Can you imagine if Pontus Aberg clicks with McDavid and sticks all year? He did for a handful of games when he first arrived from Nashville. And Ty Rattie? What about wunderkind Kailer Yamamoto? Former third overall pick Jesse Puljujarvi? Enticing us further is that there is a consolation prize. If the winger doesn’t click with 110-point McDavid, then perhaps he settles for 75-point Leon Draisaitl. That would mean 60 or 65 for a skilled winger, which is also a great result.

The Oilers seem inept and it starts with management. But teams built around generational talent get it right eventually. Not most of the time – all of the time. You just saw a Cup won by one of them! So my faith in Edmonton remains unflagging, and I would love to own any fantasy relevant player on this team.

  Fantasy Grade: A- (last year was A)

    Pick up the 13th annual DobberHockey Fantasy Hockey Guide here (out on August 1)

OR

Get the Fantasy Guide and the Prospects Report as part of a package and save$8.00 – here!

    Other Fantasy Grades:

  Fantasy Outlook for the Anaheim Ducks

Fantasy Outlook for the Arizona Coyotes

Fantasy Outlook for the Boston Bruins

Fantasy Outlook for the Buffalo Sabres

Fantasy Outlook for the Calgary Flames

Fantasy Outlook for the Carolina Hurricanes

Fantasy Outlook for the Chicago Blackhawks

Fantasy Outlook for the Colorado Avalanche

Fantasy Outlook for the Columbus Blue Jackets

Fantasy Outlook for the Dallas Stars

Fantasy Outlook for the Detroit Red Wings

    from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-home/the-dobotomy/dobbers-offseason-fantasy-grades-2018-edmonton-oilers/

Cancer - Metaphysical Contemplations and Considerations

In the English dialect "tumor", other than the medicinal definition, is synonymous with "detestable", "scourge", "curse" and "defilement". Despite the fact that it is not necessarily the case that individuals with tumor are underhanded (G-d preclude), malignancies originate from an abhorrent place. What's more, since the physical is a statement of the otherworldly, they radiate from the dull side of the spirit. Also, every one of the equivalent words really depicts the different aspects of the character of a harmful tumor. To begin with, being "underhanded", the growth loots the encompassing tissue of oxygen and supplements while it serves no valuable capacity. Consequently it has no thought for its neighbors and will annihilate them to possess their space as it develops.

Second, a "scourge" is one who sets out with a particular reason to cause hurt and obliterate. Such an element has no benevolence or tending to others. It will expend, eat up and wreck everything in its way decisively or thought with regards to the outcomes. Along these lines, the malignancy is a scourge since it is a parasite that murders its host, accordingly executing itself. As needs be, the sign of a scourge is to set out on a way of decimation that eventually prompts self-demolition like a psychological oppressor suicide plane.

Third, defilement means a piece of an entire that is changed from its expected reason or capacity in a way that upsets and pulverizes, like a hard drive that accidents on account of a record that was raided by an infection or other irregularity. This word additionally implies lost trustworthiness whereby an element never again satisfies its commitments. Furthermore, debasement symbolizes a totally self-serving presence with no respect for the results of a break of trust. These definitions precisely depict the atypical growth cells that turn off from typical ones with a changed DNA foundation.

The "What" and the "Why"

In perspective of the over, nobody can question that albeit great individuals experience the ill effects of it, tumor is the encapsulation of malice. The dangerous tumor and its annihilation is precisely what the dim side of the spirit looks like uncovered in the physical world. Also, despite that it shows the qualities of a parasite; the growth is anything but an outside trespasser. It originates from inside, as new creation.

To see how this functions as indicated by Hassidism (as clarified in the Tanya), we have to return to the structure of the spirit and its connection to the mind-body. The creature part of the human soul is the external layer or "skin", in a manner of speaking. The G-dly perspective is the center or center point, which speaks to one's quintessence. This Divine light, being the genuine focal point of each individual, is an integral part of the pith of the Almighty.

To proceed with, this G-dly embodiment is His imaginative vitality that radiates from the unspeakable name of G-d, referred to in learned Jewish circles as the "Tetragrammaton" or "Four-Letter Name". Two of the four Hebrew letters have the sound of the English letter "H", which compares to the "Breath of life" in Scripture. While everything else in creation occurred through Divine discourse, the making of man was more. For instance, the measure of air required to talk does not require much exertion, while the measure of air expected to explode an inflatable is debilitating. This is so on the grounds that the last includes compelling air into a tight space, which involves the utilization of stomach and chest muscles. In this way, since G-d re-makes everything each moment to look after presence, the vitality that interfaces with the G-dly quintessence of each individual is His inventive power.

Presently, the creature part of the spirit, which is the existence drive that vivifies the body, contains the G-dly pith inside it. Notwithstanding, the "creature" exists as a "shell" that endeavors to fill in as an obstruction to the Divine light. One way that it can complete its assignment is to assume praise for all achievements and neglect to recognize that everything originates from the one genuine G-d who controls the world. In this manner, the creature prevails in obstructing the light of creation, as well as in retaining it too. Thus, the "terrible" formation of new human cells emerges from the murkiness and malice turns out to be more uncovered in the physical world.

The Enemy Within

To be clear, this work isn't about "otherworldly mending" as a contrasting option to pharmaceutical. It is tied in with increasing some understanding with regards to the otherworldly progression of ailments like malignancy. In like manner, I bolster every authentic type of ordinary treatment, for example, medical procedure, chemotherapy and radiation when recommended by qualified disease authorities (oncologists). I likewise don't need anybody to understand that disease is a type of Divine discipline (Heaven preclude). What I have portrayed is a use of Hassidic ideas to demonstrate how positive imaginative vitality consumed into a negative domain will deliver a variation from the norm.

Also, every discussion about tumor focuses to battling an adversary; "I will beat this thing!" "I will battle it." "I will kick this malignancy in the butt!" "Neal Armstrong, the cycling champion, battled his fight against growth and won." Additionally, the accessible medicines are normally portrayed as the "armory of weapons". Thus, the individual who gets the stunning news that he or she has growth quickly starts to get ready for war with a solid assurance to win. Relatives will rally around to offer help and support. Hence, if a man will utilize sheer will to improve the viability of the endorsed regimen, he or she needs to center around the supernal domain and concentrate the foe inside. The way to winning any war is, knowing one's enemy.

Therefore, we should make the inquiry, "Who is this despicable adversary?" The foe inside is the creature that must affirm its reality as being free. This is steady with acting naturally mindful and is fundamental for survival. Keep in mind that the center of the human, i.e. the "Heavenly start" needs just to be with the Creator. As needs be, G-d hides His quality through the already depicted constrictions with a specific end goal to permit the made creatures to have the implication of autonomous presence. Notwithstanding, when unchecked, the creature life power will convey this self-idea to outrageous and prevent the presence from claiming G-d. That is the premise by which we as a whole at times assume praise for our achievements, overlooking that everything originates from Him. Subsequently, since G-d's Light of creation is constantly present, the foreswearing makes some of it be assimilated into the domain of dimness bringing about transformation.

Setting the Stage for the Cure

At the point when a man has dealt with the test introduced by a conclusion of growth (or some other calamitous infection), he or she needs to comprehend the idea of the battle. It is an internal clash. In the domain of learning, there is the known (what is uncovered inside us) and the understandable (what is uncovered on the planet). Consequently the tested individual gets ready for the fight to come by exchanging the understandable to the known. This transmittal happens by considering Scripture. There is one gathering of sections (Psalms; Chapter 73; Verses 21-28) that holds the way to the entryway of recuperation;

"At the point when my heart was in age, and my psyche was honed, I was an animal and did not comprehend, similar to a creature I was with You. However I was dependably with You; You have held my correct hand. Guide me with Your insight, and a short time later, get me with respect. Whom do I have in Heaven other than You? What's more, when I am with You I want nothing on Earth. My fragile living creature and my heart long; G-d is the stone of my heart and my segment for eternity. For view, every one of the individuals who are a long way from You die, You chop down all who stray from You. However, with respect to me, the proximity of G-d is my great; I have put my trust in my Lord, G-d, that I may relate every one of Your works."

What the Psalmist is stating here is that notwithstanding when we are occupied with corrupt acts, G-d as of now considers us being deserving of recovery. Along these lines, we should start our arrival to G-dliness by recognizing that He is the one genuine G-d who controls the world. As needs be, the point at which we say so anyone can hear with appreciation that nothing is autonomous of Him, we promptly invalidate the creature's bogus thought of independence. This jabs a vast gap in the shell of dimness and the G-dly Light from inside blasts forward to reconnect with its source. Along these lines, the battle to triumph over such difficulty starts and finishes with the propensity to think about one's self as being in charge as opposed to ascribing all occasions to G-d's unending Wisdom and Mercy.

Moshe Sharon has been an enrolled nurture for a long time with a graduate degree and claim to fame in general wellbeing. He has spent most his profession looking for approaches to accomplish genuine recuperating for the individuals who are not yet well. He has examined and drilled all encompassing human services for two decades, continually having faith in the indivisibility of the psyche, body and soul.

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Reviews of Smart Solar Box - Should It Go A Long Way

One particular healthy calamity left behind a man’s life certainly improved. This fellow is Ryan Tanner, a 52 year old technician, and also the creator associated with the Smart Solar Box Manual. Ryan Tanner is really a resident of Milwaukee. When he seen a monstrous blizzard in Wisconsin during a few days holiday to his dad’s cabin, he pretty much experienced the loss of life of youthful son. He made a decision that each of should be made with regards to a catastrophe. He was included with an clever remedy associated with a solar capacity electronic device that may be 100 time less expensive than a certified solar panel, and needs minimum amount maintenance. Not just that, ReviewsMagz Smart Solar Box Review will assist you to chop off of the an excessive amount of 70Percent within your power operating costs! The world is slowly heading on the way to energy situation. By having a increasing society, the requirement for electrical power is just escalating exponentially. Indeed, whilst you check this out short article, loved ones somewhere we know is going through a shortage in energy that it requires to fulfil its everyday effort prerequisites. Utilizing this type of imbalance while in the demand-resource dilemma, paying off your power desires is another task to acquire a center-style boyfriend. Do you really constantly be capable of spend your debts usually, nevertheless get some some money to additional in the end? Just ask yourself that if you find yourself executing a little something vitally important; possibly creating a necessary demonstration or even a institution task, and out of the blue, you remove energy levels give. How troublesome and dreadful could that be? So it will be even more difficult, believe that your town is smacked in a calamity, and also the the complete city is blacked out. The nursing homes are shut, where there is not anywhere for that damaged types to look. Smart Solar Box by Ryan Tanner will need to be thinking how will you ever in your life make a solution towards the huge vigor qualification. Does Smart Solar Box Review System Plan give good results, you ask? Effectively, it is always recognised that 17341 American households now utilize this product, by building it them from shop-obtained areas. These loved ones have noticed a tremendous alternation in their vitality business expenses, so are ready for any calamity in advance of them. Smart Solar Box PDF by Ryan Tanner Characteristics Smart Solar Box Review by Ryan Tanner is undoubtedly an perfect treatment which helps you get the job done any where, and everytime. This piece of equipment harnesses natural electric power from wind flow, also, the sunshine. For that reason, it is wholly in legal contract with Green technologies. Likewise, it may be so easy to form, it is easy to create 1 for yourself. 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You might use 18-20 hours of force by using charging you which includes a sole electrical battery. Yes, all you have to do can be to price it. One can quantity this capability to any device that operates on ability. It usually is a lamp, a tube perspective, a toaster, or even just an aura conditioning technique. This device has no confines. It is best to tidy the individual panels and dirt cases at regular durations of at the very least 6 months. In addition to the a PDF, this container also includes video exactly where Ryan identifies the way to successfully improve the solar device without even a screw driver! So, don’t panic for those who are a terrible auto mechanic. Ryan Tanners states that anyone can construct this entire machine in whooping worth of $200. This piece of equipment is actually noiseless, you will not even listen to it maintaining. Good things about Smart Solar Box Download by Ryan Tanner This piece of equipment is so very faultless and is also basically great. But why is it a practical victor? Just after are the benefits of the Smart Solar Box Experiences: Competitively priced treatment - For the reason that we have been discussing helpful energy levels absorption at less costly, a royally more costly electronic device for saving energy source ingestion hardly is practical. Just take time to think about your per year energy level expenses. Ryan Tanners boasts that this tool is often made in purely $200. Also, this gadget is incredibly efficient, to guide you lower your utility bill by 68%. That comes down to somewhere around $2000 of personal savings annually! Simple to follow the directions - The simple recommendations given by Ryan in his PDF additionally, the video help make the the complete creating approach so artless. Building Smart Solar Box Manual is absolutely not too tricky! You may not require even the standard controlled approach for this, all you need to do, would be to follow the instructions on the video or maybe PDF, and in just a few a small number of hours, you certainly will develop you and your family a power banking institution. Take it along the length of, anywhere you go! - This device is definitely mobile or portable. You can use it everywhere, and at any time. This gadget can also fit in your trunk area. It is a light-weight and compressed gadget. So, it is very suitable for hiking, and night outs. Also, it is extremely noiseless even as it functions. You simply will not even hear this device racing. You could work it silently approximately 20 hours, on single battery ask for, as mentioned previously. Slight, or No upkeep - Really the only routine service aspect of Smart Solar Box eBook by Ryan Tanner will be the maintenance in the solar sections. But again, you do not have to acheive it each time earlier than half a year useful. Perhaps the batteries be suitable for an especially very long time. So, the upkeep is totally simple. Renewable power - As we speak of energy level emergency, we ought to make note of the fragile and mandatory reasoning behind ecological and eco friendly stamina. We do not want to pollute the actual environment and use in the strength means rashly, only to reduce our current vitality involves. This product is rather eco-warm, and manufactures alternative energy by harnessing solar and force of the wind energy levels. 60-morning reimbursement ensure - As many people, us all really love assurance, should we not? Make sure only provides for us the self-confidence which will make any investment not having fear. You may be pleased to understandthat Reviews of Smart Solar Box gives its customer a 60-day of the week insure. You can be particular 60 days to set up your very own device and give it a try. In the event it is not going to reduce your energy source expense by a buck, that you are welcome to get a refund! Downsides of Solar Strength Box Very well, each individual coin has two aspects, does not it? So is the case for Smart Solar Box eBook. Other than each of the glorious benefits of obtaining this product along, it can do have its disadvantages. Allow us to take a look. It needs time - Regardless of the fact that you do not require to be an professional to create this device on your own, it is not necessarily bogus that you will need allow it too much time and perseverance. If this duty is not going to definitely feel up your ante, you should employ someone because of it. Online structure product or services - The product is perfectly electronically prepared. This means you have access to the necessary info electronically, i.e., by using a desktop computer, or perhaps a cell phone. You are unable to obtain it literally. So, should you have a poor bond, you may entire face situations in streaming videos. Verdict With truly being proclaimed, Smart Solar Box Review by ReviewsMagz is definitely smart expenditure of money that will most certainly not leave you dissatisfied. This device contains a minimal design costs, and requires these sorts of modest routine maintenance. It happens to be so transportable, you can actually take it quite literally virtually any place, and enjoy roughly 20 hours of natural green environmentally friendly energy source at this kind of economical. In addition to that, it aids you cut back up a bundle from your very own vitality business expenses. Who does not absolutely adore reductions? You can easily very likely arrange a holiday from individuals cost savings, and naturally, keep the Smart Solar Box Reviews Download Video with you. In addition to that, simply following Ryan’s instructions is really easy and perfect, you may establish you the product before you know it! Also, it really is utterly eco-oriented.

Girl House (2014) [REVIEW]

Although it’s been a few years since I’ve seen it, I used to have a lot of fun with Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer. It’s possible that stems from a nostalgic connection of having seen it at the first 24-hour horror movie marathon I went to in Chicago, but I’m sure the movie is still at least kinda fun? I had enough interest in those filmmakers to check out The Shrine, which was mostly boring, but had an interesting ending that almost made up for it being dull. Point is, directors Jon Knautz and Trevor Matthews gained enough good faith with me that I checked out their film Girl House, which has all but destroyed every once of good will they had previously earned. Not knowing the filmmakers personally, I can’t say for sure that they loathe women, but man, their movie sure does.

Yes, the film does have its fair share of attractive women dancing around seductively, so if that’s all you loo for in a movie, you’re in luck!

The film opens with a chubby little kid getting chased by two girls who bully him into showing them his wiener, which they then make fun of, so he responds by throwing one off a bridge to her death. Oh, great. Back in present day, Kylie (Ali Cobrin) is a down on her luck college student who moves into a house full of girls who get naked often for the cameras that fill the house. People pay money to watch them get naked and have sex with stuff, so what could possibly go wrong? Well, the little kid from the opening could grow up with a distorted perception of reality and feel like he has ownership over the women, so he comes to the house to murder them. Oh, and, spoiler alert, he does, except Kylie, because she’s the lead character. I can’t think of any other reason she’d stay alive.

This is the dresser of one of the girls who is referred to as the “wild one,” who is killed by having a dildo shoved down her throat and taped there, ya know, in case you were wondering if this film punished women for their sexuality enough.

Oh boy, where the hell do I start with this one? Firstly, the opening scene featuring the killer murdering a little girl is the most backstory anyone in the movie gets. Sure, Kylie repeats how her dad just died and she’s going to start stripping for money, but that doesn’t tell us anything about who she is as a person. Shortly after the opening scene, we learn that the writer has never heard an actual woman speaking since he was in junior high, as one character delivers a line that is something like, “You’re going to be showing your vertical smile on cyberspace.” UGH. Who the fuck wrote this garbage? No one has ever said those words in that order out loud to any other human in history, but here, it’s played as, “Hey, dudes, when chicks aren’t around, this is TOTALLY how the talk to one another!” Mind you, we’re only like ten minutes into the movie, and the turds just keep falling.

Don’t even get me started on how the killer wears the mask of a female sex doll and how a camera would put watermarks on the image, even if it wasn’t broadcasting to anything, because that’s not how those things work.

This movie was made in 2014 and could’ve been a positive portrayal of women in the pornography industry, and I almost believe that the filmmakers thought they were actually doing that, but all of the characters are underdeveloped and basically personifications of sex dolls that merely existed to pleasure men. The worth of each one of these characters is only reflected by their relationship to men, just like, ya know, most porn. When one male character recognizes Kylie on the Girl House website from having a crush on her since kindergarten, he drives 70 miles to casually bump into her, resulting in him immediately going on a date with her and have his feelings reciprocated. A couple of dates later, he reveals he didn’t bump into her casually but basically stalked her because he saw her online, but instead of calling him out for being a psychotic dirtbag, she basically just shrugs and says, “I’m not a prostitute…but now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s continue flirting!” Goddammit. I mean, sure, the horror genre, in general, doesn’t often empower women and they are often presented as nothing more than objects of desire, but you’d think a film called “Girl House” that featured half a dozen female characters would portray one woman as, oh, I don’t know, an actual woman.

Why is this woman opening her shirt? Oh, well she breaks into the house, having been kicked out for doing drugs, so she begs to be let back in, using words like “Papi” (because she’s latina, I guess) and promises that she’s off “crank.” That’s how real people talk about drugs, they say “crank.”

Even if you can put Girl House‘s hatred of women aside, it’s still a pretty dull film. It clearly wanted to follow the structure of slashers like Halloween or Black Christmas, but does nothing nearly as thrilling as either of those films and is full of idiotic decisions. Oh! Here’s one: the guy who owns the website and house where the girls live reminds the girls that the last line of defense in their protection are two buff dudes. Twice in the movie, the villain briskly walks towards these buff dudes and immediately kills them with his hands. These characters added nothing to the story and died immediately. Uhhhhhhh, okay. Here’s another: the owner of the house gives this big long diatribe about how safe and secure the house and servers are, but the villain hacks in to show the girls his photo and 1) none of them tell the owner, “Hey, we got hacked, maybe your site isn’t as secure as you claimed it was?” and 2) a dude hacks in and takes control of every technological aspect of the house and 3) a student hacks into the server to discover the house’s  location pretty easily, so 3A.) maybe don’t spend so much time talking about how secure it is and 3B.) oh goddammit, the women STILL need to rely on men to locate them to send the police to their home, proving these women would be nowhere without their connection to men. I haven’t even gotten to the one “top performer” in the movie who, when doing a super sexy show, complains that there are only THREE people watching (but I’m pretty sure actual performers get numbers in the hundreds/thousands tuning in, so I’m pretty sure even I could get three viewers if I threw on a wig right now and started broadcasting, so who the fuck knows how anyone makes money off this shitty fictional website), who is interrupted by the killer who chops off her fingers and cuts her face, which she could have easily survived, but instead decides she can’t live with “being ugly” so she puts a plastic bag on her head to commit suicide. GODDAMMIT. If you hate women and revel in how terrible they are and need a reminder that they only exist for your enjoyment, then I totally recommend Girl House! However, if you prefer to consider women actual human beings, then I suggest you avoid it.

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