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icanseethefuture333 · 1 year

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How your voice sounds like & how you talk according to your 2nd & 3rd house 🗣:

Aries in the 2nd house & Taurus in the 3rd House:

Aries 2nd house people usually have a very husky/raspy voice and can talk pretty fast when they're excited or angry. Although, their Taurus in the 3rd house can make them more soft spoken in everyday life. If you get on their good side they will be sweet to you but if you piss them off they won't hestitate to drag you. They can be slick with their words. They are the type to be sneaky with their jokes and tease you without you even noticing till later what they said 💀 (Michael Jackson has this placement and everyone thinks he was so sweet but would literally sing 50 Cent in his car, cuss words and all lmao 😂)

Taurus in the 2nd house & Gemini in the 3rd house:

I know this sounds weird but Taurus 2nd house people talk more with their throat. Their voice sounds either very throaty or very nasally (I mean come on now - Shakira, Rihanna, G-Eazy, Cardi B, Heath Ledger, Stevie Nicks, AND Andrew Garfield. The proof is in the pudding). Their tone of voice is very unique but it's also attractive? They cound sound a little bit like they have a cold, its cute. If they are singers they use a lot of vibratto (don't worry I'll do a post on this too 🙄). Gemini in the 3rd house people could be very expressive with their faces when they talk and show a duality. They could also talk with different accents depending on who they are with.

Gemini in the 2nd house & Cancer in the 3rd house:

These people are very chatty around those they feel comfortable with. If they have a lot of air or fire in their birth chart they are friendly and love to socialize. If there is more earth and water they are shy but like to converse with whoever they are close to. Gemini 2nd house people tend to speak with a vocal fry. They could be emotional speakers as well with their Cancer in the 3rd house or they are good at making people feel heard during a conversation.

Cancer in the 2nd house & Leo in the 3rd house:

Their voices sound as if they're sleepy. Cancer 2nd house people's voices sound soft and airy. With a Leo in the 3rd house, they put some bass in their voice when they yell or get mad. Similar to a cat, they might be chill at first, and pur and meow, but if you piss them off they'll roar. They are very passionate and could choke up a bit or cry if they talk about a sensitive subject.

Leo in the 2nd house & Virgo in the 3rd house:

Leo 2nd house people growl as they talk, sing, or rap. Might even clear their throat before speaking. Could have some health problems with their throat or nose. They have the tendency to be congested. Virgo in the 3rd house could make them sound like a nerd when they talk about their interests 🤓

Virgo in the 2nd house & Libra in the 3rd house:

Virgo 2nd house people have very thin voices and typically sound high pitched, it's like their voices sound like it's struggling to come out (if their is voice is deeper it will sound gravely like Tyler, The Creator). They could require voice lessons or speech therapy at some point in their life. Possibly has social anxiety. Has or could develop a lisp. Talented when it comes to using their voice for entertainment like voice acting, reporting, speeches, singing, rapping, etc. (Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn or Eddie Murphy as Mushu and Donkey). With their Libra in the 3rd house they could have a way with words. They could be very charming when they speak and like to flirt. Might even turn on the charm to get what they want (I'm guilty of this).

Libra in the 2rd house & Scorpio in the 3rd house:

There is two spectrums with these people. On one hand their voices are very attractive and the way they speak can be sensual... or they can be vulgar and/or hilarious (1. Ice Spice, Michael B. Jordan, Usher, Lauren Jauregui, Keanu Reeves, Meagan Good, & Idris Elba 2. Dave Chapelle, Will Ferrell, Tom Hanks, Kevin Hart, & Ryan Reynolds 3. Dolly Parton & Childish Gambino are both great at singing and know how to do comedy). They are great at entertaining a crowd and could be the host at parties. They know how to make people laugh and blush, it's their way of seducing.

Scorpio in the 2nd house & Sagittarius in the 3rd house:

This combination can cause them to be poetic and philosophical. They are great when it comes it expressing their inner most personal thoughts. When angered, they will let you let you feel their wraith (I mean have you heard Beyoncé on her Lemonade album or Doja Cat on her lives? Lmao they do not fuck around). Their language is very blunt and they cuss a lot (Britney Spears: "Holy shitballs!" 😃 *starts spinning*). Scorpio 2nd house people voices are clear and deep (yes, like the ocean) but if they are around someone they talk in a baby voice. It's so funny too it's like they're usually this badass but then out of nowhere there's this silly high pitched voice 😭 (Kendrick Lamar: "put the pussy on a pedestal ~ put the pussy on a high stool ~ that pussy to die for, yeah that pussy to DIE for ~🎵") Honestly they're just crazy lmao

Sagittarius in the 2nd house & Capricorn in the 3rd house:

These people are SHADYYY. They love to throw shade (Prince) or air out people's dirty laundry if you do them wrong (Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, & Halsey have some of their biggest songs about their exes lol). These people are petty as hell! Sagittarius 2nd house can also give good advice and with their Capricorn in the 3rd house, they have a lot of wisdom to share. A teacher to those around. They will also tell you things about themselves but know not to overshare. They like to have the upperhand in a conversation and keep their next move a secret. They tend to speak "as a matter of factually" and come off as having a careless attitude if they smile. A lot of them speak with a similar tone as well (Anne Hathaway, Jada Pinkett Smith, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, Winona Ryder, and Kim Kardashian don't have the same voice but their Capricorn tone and Aquarius speech pattern is obvious to me). The men can seem very cool and relaxed, almost the bad boy type (Justin Bieber, Brad Pitt, Nicolas Cage, Eminem, & Elvis Presley).

Capricorn in the 2nd house and Aquarius in the 3rd:

These people are eccentric and are unique. They like to have a persona so they can keep their personal lives private. Their voices sound a bit quirky (I remember watching a interview with Adriana Lima and a lot of people were surprised to hear how she actually sounded).

Aquarius in the 2nd house and Pisces in the 3rd:

These people sound so cute imo??? Jimin from BTS, Ariana Grande, Zac Efron, Ashanti, & Jordin Sparks all have this placement and their voice is so soft like a cloud. Their sense of humor is weird and silly. They are quiet in comparison to others and are probably told often to speak louder. Or they could be slow talkers. Overall just really mellow people lol

Pisces in the 2nd house and Aries in the 3rd house:

These people are motivational speakers (Barack Obama) and are often being quoted for their iconic sayings (Nicki Minaj, Naomi Campbell, Zendaya, & Alicia Silverstone). They know how to connect to people and they are passionate when it comes to helping others. Most likely will be the person to stand up to a bully and defend the person being picked on. Pisces is caring while Aries is bold yet impulsive. These people need to practice "thinking before speaking" because it has a greater affect on not just themself but those around them.

#astro observations #astrology observations #astrology #2nd house #3rd house #mercury #mercury signs

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 7 months

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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 24

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC New as of 10/11/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk. Chapter Warning: Heavy themes in this chapter. That is all I will say so as not to ruin anything. Feel free to reach out for more details before reading.

Chapter Quote: "Why? Are you afraid you might actually feel something?

In the days that followed Gabby’s visit, I couldn’t shake off her obvious concern for her brother’s wellbeing, or the details of what he had been up to. Before our conversation, I was doing well to keep my thoughts about him at bay. But now, images of his darkened eyes and broken appearance would creep in when I was least expecting it. Knowing he was unwilling to engage with Gabby and Alex was the biggest red flag of them all. It made me question whether he was doing okay. Knowing that the answer was most likely a “no”, weighed heavily on me. Even so, it felt like none of it mattered anymore. There was nothing I could do to change his behavior or help him. If there was one thing he had made clear during our unexpected encounter, it was that he did not care about my thoughts or feelings any longer.

The constant pressure of these new intrusive thoughts caused me to further throw myself into my work. It was one of the few things that I could control in my life. Working overtime nearly every day was starting to wear me out, but it was exactly what I needed to stay distracted at all times. I reasoned that if I decided to take a new position, everything had to be in order. Therefore, I poured myself in making sure there would be detailed instructions for whoever would be taking over my duties.

It was 6 PM and I was two hours into preparing a detailed account audit report when I heard the downstairs door open, followed by Lauren yelling to announce herself. I called back to let her know I was in my office, where she appeared a little later holding two coffees from our favorite local spot. Without a word, she walked in and set one down on the desk beside my laptop. I glanced up at her, surprised by her unexpected visit, and by the fact she came bearing gifts in the form of sugar and caffeine.

“Thanks for not scaring this shit out of me this time,” I said with a smile as I reached for the coveted beverage and took a sip. She laughed nervously. I eyed her, picking up on her weird vibes.

“Alright, what’s going on?” I asked as I leaned back in my chair.

“Nothing is going on… per se.”

“If this is about that infamous stray cat...” I trailed off as I raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

“What ca… oooh no. No, the cat is a non-issue. He’s been good the last few days.” A wide grin spread across her face.

“One of these days, I do hope you’ll clarify what you’re talking about in reference to that cat…because I’m pretty sure it’s not an actual cat.”

I had a sneaking suspicion that she was seeing someone, I just didn’t know who. It was probably someone I didn’t know, and I figured she was keeping it to herself for now given that my relationship with Dieter had just ended. While I would be excited for her to have met someone, I knew she would feel bad about being in a happy relationship. Even though she had no reason to feel that way. That was Lauren logic 101.

Lauren chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought of a reply, finally responding with, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I told you; it was a stray. He’s just hanging out until I figure out what to do with him.”

Her intense inspection of her fingernails as she spoke was a dead giveaway though. Clearly, she didn’t want to look at me directly, afraid that she just might give something away. I rolled my eyes at her and shrugged. She quickly changed the subject.

“So, as you know, next week is our birthday week…” She paused as she gave me a mischievous smile, letting the anticipation build up.

Given that our birthdays were four days apart, she had always used it as an excuse to celebrate for the full week rather than the usual one day a year.

“Yeah, what of it?” I eyed her dubiously.

I wasn’t sure if I was in the mood for any of her crazy plans this year. Two years ago, she conned me into doing indoor skydiving as a way to loosen up and have fun, which resulted in me getting a busted lip. I vowed to never let her drag me into anything like that again. Last year I managed to avoid the epic week of celebration due to the whole divorce fiasco, but apparently, she was not going to give me that courtesy this year.

“I found a place that’s having a karaoke team competition next weekend. It’s 90’s themed, so it’s right up our alley.”

She gave me a hopeful, yet nervous smile as she awaited my response.

I couldn’t help but scoff at her as I gave her a skeptical look. “You want me to do karaoke? We haven’t done that since college.”

“Exactly! We haven’t, and we used to have so much fun. We also kicked ass at it. I think we could totally win.”

The excitement was visible on her face as she spoke.

“Fucking hell. You said it’s a team though. How many on a team?” I asked, hoping there might be a way out of this.

“We only need three people for three rounds. Kerrie already said she’s in.”

“Kerrie? Of course she did...” I dropped my head, laughing in defeat. I knew she wasn’t going to let this go.

“So, what would we win? I wanna know what I’m about to sell my soul for.” I took a drink of my coffee as I continued to weigh my options on how to get out of this predicament.

“There are a few choices, but the one I am shooting for is the spa day. It’s the most expensive package too!”

“Here’s a thought… how about we skip the karaoke and go straight for the spa day. I’ll pay for it. My treat!” I suggested hopefully, but she shook her head, looking like a petulant child with crossed arms and a scowl on her face.

“No. A spa birthday isn’t fun…it’s relaxing. We can do that later. I want some actual fun for our birthdays. It’s been way too long, and we can all use it.”

I gave her a skeptical look, “We have two very different definitions of fun.” I chuckled as she rolled her eyes at me.

“Come on. It’s just one song…five minutes or less of your life that will give us wonderful memories for years to come.” Her hopeful smile had returned.

“Exactly, that’s my concern”. I sighed, figuring that I’d better choose my battles wisely. “Ok, fine. No breakup songs for me though. I refuse.”

She squealed as she clapped her hands together and bounced up and down in the seat. She then proceeded to start throwing out song ideas, starting with her favorite Shania Twain song.

“Look, if we’re gonna do this, don’t be picking stuff that everybody else is gonna pick. I guarantee everyone and their mother will sing that damn Man, I Feel Like a Woman song.”

She pouted, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Fine, I’ll come up with an epic playlist for us. Don’t worry.”

I scoffed as I finished my coffee, shaking my head at her, “Please. All I do is worry when it comes to your scheming plans.”

She gave me a disapproving glare as she raised her hand to flip me off, which caused me to laugh.

The next week flew by in a blur. Kerrie had been excitedly talking about our girl’s night out all week, in the process recruiting Elizabeth and Aubrey to join us as our official hype squad. It was turning into a whole thing at this point. Lauren was taking it to the extreme, which didn’t come as a surprise. She had sent a text to let me know that she had wardrobe plans for us all. She was always so extra.

When Saturday afternoon hit, Lauren came rushing upstairs in a flurry with arms full of bags. Kerrie arrived soon after as Lauren was digging through my closet in search of items she knew were hidden in there somewhere. I let her do her thing as I wrapped up my work and chatted with Kerrie. Once Lauren found what she was looking for, she started laying out our assigned outfits in stacks on the bed. As I watched her, I realized that I had never felt less excited about something as I did right now. After she had everything sorted, she instructed us to get dressed.

There was definitely some serious 90’s nostalgia going on with the clothes she had picked out for us. My outfit consisted of black ripped skinny jeans, combined with stacked heel lace up boots like the pair I used to own, and a white ribbed tank. To top it off, she had grabbed my black leather jacket and a bright purple skinny scarf. Even the accessories were accounted for: a black leather wrap bracelet and black leather cuff, giving the perfect finish to my look. I was also given explicit instructions to wear my hair down in loose waves.

She put Kerrie in a black spaghetti strap midi dress with combat boots, lots of bracelets, a choker necklace, and deep wine-colored leather jacket. Kerrie was instructed to wear her hair down to rock some tight messy curls. Lauren dressed herself in a dark blue mesh floral high-waisted midi skirt with a white crop top, a light blue cardigan, black choker necklace, and black Mary Janes. She wore her hair down and straight.

I stood looking at the two of them as they added the last of their accessories, shaking my head.

“I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. Why are we doing this again?”

“Because it’s gonna be fun,” Lauren assured me as she moved to touch up her makeup. “Relax, you’ll be fine. You sing well, so you have nothing to worry about.”

Once again, I was second guessing my decision to go along with this. I felt ridiculous. The other two, however, were more than excited to make up for my lack of enthusiasm.

We took an Uber to the bar where this whole shindig was supposed to go down. The place was huge and packed to the brim with people, which only amped up my anxiety further. At least we were not the only ones who had embraced the 90’s theme; everywhere you looked, people were sporting nostalgic outfits and accessories, which made us blend in easily.

We found Aubrey and Elizabeth inside, seated at a large table near the front of the stage. Lauren’s co-workers from her shop, Nicole and Stephanie, also joined us soon after our arrival, making our table a more sizable party than I had been expecting. We sat chatting amongst ourselves as a server came around to take our drink orders, I promptly ordered a whiskey, which seemed to catch Lauren’s attention.

“What are you doing?” she asked immediately, her tone laced with concern.

“If you want me to do this shit, I’m gonna need at least two of those…maybe three. I’m fine. It’s to relax, not to drown in my sorrows... Not yet, anyway.” She gave me a doubtful look, but let it go. I was finishing off my first round when the karaoke host took center stage, hyping up the crowd for the first-round category of 90’s classic Pop Songs. A girl from Team One, a couple of tables down, was the first to hop on stage and opened with Man, I Feel Like a Woman.

I glanced over at Lauren, “What did I tell you?”

She rolled her eyes at me. A girl from Team Two was introduced as performing the same song. Her excitement seemed slightly deflated now that someone else had already performed her song. I looked over at Lauren again. Before I could even raise an eyebrow, she shook her head and flipped me the bird. She hated it when I was right.

Lauren was up next. She had chosen to sing Christina Aguilera’s What a Girl Wants, which was a solid choice for her. She sounded great, definitely better than the other two. With her buzz kicking in, she wasn’t afraid to work the crowd and throw in some dance moves. Our whole group cheered her on while Kerrie recorded everything on her phone. I think it was safe to say that she absolutely won that round.

The category for round two was rock. Team One started it off with a very drunk gentleman giving Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit a go. It was terrible and he didn’t even bother to try and get the lyrics right.

During his performance, I leaned over to Lauren, “Pray tell what category you have me singing in please?” Her eyes got a little wider before she said, “What? You want another drink you say? I’ll go get that for you!”

She disappeared toward the bar while I glanced over at Kerrie in confusion. She shrugged. “Do you know what you’re singing?” I asked her.

“Yeah, I picked it myself. She didn’t tell you what she picked for you?” she yelled over the music.

I shook my head from side to side, “Do you know?”

It was her turn to shake her head as Team Two got started on their song. They busted out Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Californication. The guy killed it and was going to be hard to beat. Lauren came back just as he was midway through the song and handed me another whiskey, then immediately went to the other end of the table to talk to one of the girls she works with. She was avoiding me. Fuck. That didn’t bode well for me.

When it was Kerrie’s turn, she didn’t seem concerned at all. In fact, she was cool as a cucumber and psyched up as she made her way to the stage. Lauren came back over to stand next to me and hooked her arm with mine as she started recording on her phone with her other hand. Neither of us had ever heard Kerrie sing, so we didn’t know what to expect.

The host announced Kerrie would be singing Meredith Brooks, Bitch. Our whole table started whooping and whistling as the music started. As soon as she opened her mouth, we all absolutely lost our shit. She sounded amazing and had the rocker chick vibes down.

Lauren looked over at me, “We are totally fucking winning this!” as she started dancing along to the music and yelling, “Yaaaaas bitch” toward the stage. Kerrie worked the stage and the crowd like no one else had. On the "I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees” line she did a seductive roll and wiggle of her hips that sent the place into a frenzy. Once she was finished, she did a dramatic bow before exiting the stage and running over to our table.

As Kerrie approached us, she announced, “I guess this would be a good time to tell you guys that I was in a rock band in college.”

We all started laughing and scolding her for holding that information back. It certainly would have taken some stress off Lauren to know that.

I was taken out of the celebratory spirit when the host announced the category for round three. I could feel my stomach drop when he said “90’s Love Songs.” My head snapped toward Lauren who froze as she was raising a glass to her lips.

“Love songs? Are you fucking kidding me?” The frustration was clear on my face.

She lowered her glass and set it on the table, “Hey, you just said no breakup songs. It’s not a breakup song. Also, your voice is amazing, and you’ll be going last which means it’ll be the freshest on their minds. I do not regret my decision.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, well, I do. This is not a good idea.” I said, shaking my head.

“Why? Are you afraid you might actually feel something?” She raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to say the truth.

I drew my brows down together at her words. I didn’t know how to respond. I let out a loud huff and walked away toward the bar, immediately ordering another whiskey. I sat staring at the swirls in the wood grain as I listened to a decent rendition of K-Ci & JoJo’s All My Life play behind me. I could feel my heart racing as I downed the whiskey and asked for another. Halfway through Bon Jovi’s Always, I got up and made my way back toward the front.

Everyone at the table stared at me in silence. Lauren looked like she was stuck between feelings of anger and fear of what was about to happen. I finished off my latest glass and took my jacket off as the current song ended. I still didn’t even know which song she had picked for me to sing, which was probably a good thing. Having time to dwell on it wouldn’t help.

The host called me up. As I was walking, he announced the song, Shania Twain's, You’ve Got a Way. Looks like she still got her fucking Shania Twain song in. I let out a slow breath, followed by a low “fuck” as I took the microphone from the guy. He gave me a questioning look and I returned it with a tight smile. I was feeling a little unsteady on my feet by this point, so I walked over to grab a stool that was sitting to the side of the stage, brought it out to the middle, and took a seat. I nodded at the DJ, who cued up the music. The words appeared on a TV screen that hung on the front of the upstairs balcony, but I didn’t need them. I knew this one.

(If you would like to give the song a listen while you read, it is linked below... Fic continues after the jump.)

I focused on the back wall at first, attempting to let autopilot mode kick in, but it wasn’t happening. I didn’t make it far before the memories of Dieter started to flash through my mind. It started on the first verse, but the chorus is what hit me the hardest. Each time I repeated it, I was hit with a new memory. I was left feeling raw and exposed as the song went on.

It's in the way you want me

Dieter standing in the doorway between our suites, admitting he couldn’t stop thinking about kissing me… running his hands along my collarbone as we watched that stupid zombie movie… standing in front of me in the kitchen, running his hands up my thighs.

It's in the way you hold me

Dieter holding me in his arms every night as we slept…always grabbing my hand tightly to ease my anxiety… swaying slowly with his arms around me as we danced in Sonoma.

The way you show me just what love's made of

Dieter always being positive and supportive of everything I did… doing all the things that Justin never would… planning the perfect weekend away in Sonoma and trusting me with his past so that he could move on from it.

It's in the way we make love

Our intense emotional connection during our last night together in New York…our first night back together after the club… our intimate nights together in Sonoma.

I could feel the energy shift in the room around me. The tension was palpable as the emotion started to crack my voice a little bit. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes and it was taking everything in me to hold them back.

Oh, how I adore you, Like no one before you, I love you just the way you are.

That line finally broke me. A tear slowly slid down my cheek as I realized I would never feel that way about anyone again. I would never be able to let him go. I kept my eyes focused on the wall in the back of the room, trying to keep the sobs from escaping my lips as I finished up the last repeat of the chorus.

Once the song came to an end, it was completely silent in the room for a time. Then applause slowly broke out. I quickly wiped at my face before exiting the stage and walking directly over to the bar, ordering another drink. I sat with my face in my hands as the bartender slid another round in front of me. I could hear the host behind me giving instructions to the crowd about how to vote online. I tried to drown it out as I stared at the wood grain on the bar again.

Out of my periphery, I could see Lauren take a few tentative steps toward me. I looked up at her, unsure if I was pissed or not. She reached up and put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry, I honestly wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction from you.”

“What the hell kind of reaction did you expect?” I turned my body to face her, the frustration clear on my face. I was angry at her, but at the same time I knew that my struggle wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t trying to get me upset intentionally.

“I dunno, I just thought it might make you reconsider things. I wasn’t expecting tears.” She gave me a pouty look, “I’m sorry. I should have consulted with you about it.”

I let out a slow breath, “Don’t worry about it. I guess that part is on me.”

She gave me a weak smile, “If it makes you feel better, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house after that.”

I gave her a tight-lipped smile as I raised my glass for another drink, finishing it off quickly, “I think I’m gonna head home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I decided. I was feeling agitated from all the noise and just wanted to be at home where it was considerably quieter.

“You mean you’re not gonna stay for the results?” She looked disappointed, but I needed to get away and clear my head before I went into a full spiral again.

I knitted my brows together as I shook my head from side to side. She pulled me in for a tight hug, “Shoot me a text and let me know how it goes, yeah?” She gave me a small nod as she pulled away. I followed her back over to our table to grab my jacket and phone. I waved bye to everyone before heading outside and getting an uber.

The memories came rushing in during my ride home. I couldn’t stop them no matter how hard I tried. I managed to keep it together until I walked into the house. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I leaned against it and slid down to the floor. The tears came flooding out between sobs as I mourned the loss of what we had and the possibilities of what we could have had. It was something that I hadn’t fully allowed myself to do.

I sat crying for some time before I heard my phone vibrate on the floor beside me. I wiped my face as I tried to catch my breath. I reached for my phone and found a text from Lauren.

LAUREN: We totally kicked ass. Let me know when you’re ready for that spa day we earned!

ME: Excited to hear that. I’m ready when you are!

My response conveyed more excitement than I felt. I couldn’t have cared less at that moment. I sighed as I pulled myself up off the floor and moved to get ready for bed. I still felt slightly buzzed after laying down, but somehow managed to fall asleep soon after.

I woke up around 6 AM the next morning, feeling like death. I stumbled into the bathroom and splashed some warm water over my face. My eyes looked slightly swollen from crying, so I held a warm rag against them for a few minutes, which seemed to help some. I decided to go for a run, just to have a mindless task to keep me busy. I got dressed in my workout gear, pulled my messy hair back into a ponytail, and walked outside. It was a little chilly and I noticed everything was still covered in light morning dew as I put my air pods in and started my playlist. I took off in a jog in the opposite direction of Dieter’s house, toward the more populated area of town. The streets were still mostly empty at this hour on a Sunday morning. Many of the businesses either weren’t open yet or were closed for the day. It was an eerie calm that somehow filled me with a dreaded sense of foreboding.

As I was trying to push that feeling to the back of my mind, I rounded the corner of one of the local businesses and crashed into someone. I stumbled backwards slightly and looked down in time to see one of my air pods falling from my ear. Somehow, I managed to catch it as I regained my footing, swaying for a moment as my head still reeled from last night’s drinks. I was apologizing for my clumsiness before I even had a chance to see who I had bumped into, trying to catch my breath. “Fuck, sorry, I –”, I blurted out, looking up to see who I had crashed into. I was met by two dark eyes staring back at me in confusion. It was the same eyes that had been on my mind last night during karaoke. Dieter.

His eyes were watery and bloodshot, but surprisingly alert for the early hour. He stared at me blankly for a moment before he knitted his brows together, the set of his jaw tensing as he looked me up and down. He didn’t move or speak, but I could tell his breathing seemed to become shallower the longer he stood there, reminding me of how he looked after the first time I woke him from his nightmare on my couch. I couldn’t bear to see him like this.

I could feel my face tighten as we both held each other’s gaze. Something deep in the pit of my stomach stirred, opening up and threatening to swallow me whole. I could feel my entire body tense as my emotions threatened to spill out. The memories flashed through my mind; everything from last night, the conversation with Gabby, our encounter at the restaurant, the way he had sounded on the phone that night when he ended things, and a whole slew of moments from the time we had spent together before everything fell apart. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t unbridle my emotions and fall apart here in front of him. With effort I tore my gaze away from him and took a deep breath, digging my nails into the palm of the hand which held my air pod. The pain helped me snap out of my thoughts long enough to decide on my next move. Before I lost my nerve, I put the air pod back in my ear, stepped around him, and continued jogging at my previous pace. I was almost certain I could feel his eyes on my back until I was finally out of sight.

I cut my run short and headed back in the direction of my house, trying to shake off the numb feeling that was starting to overtake me. What the hell was he doing out this early? Where had he been? Or where was he going? I slowed to a brisk walk as I turned onto my street, thinking through the businesses that were near where I had bumped into him. There was a 24-hour convenience store nearby. Maybe he was going there?

My phone buzzed with a text from Lauren, which surprised me considering her late-night activities - it was barely 8 AM. The screen lit up with her message when I unlocked the phone.

LAUREN: Call me as soon as you’re up, please.

That didn’t sound good. As if I needed something else to worry about right now. I sighed as I punched in the lock code to my front door. Once I was inside, I called her.

“Hello?” She sounded nervous.

“What’s up?” I asked as I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my sleeve before grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

“Ummmm, I’m going to assume you haven’t seen any of the gossip sites today, have you?”

I sighed as I sat down at the kitchen table, switching to speaker phone so I had my hands free to open the bottle. I had a feeling I already knew where this was going.

“No, do I even need to ask why?”

Lauren was silent for a minute, “There are videos from last night. Like, a lot of fucking videos.”

I wished I could say that I was surprised, but I really wasn’t. I suddenly felt a wave of nausea run through me. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” I leaned my head into one of my hands as I let out a long breath, “I actually thought we were past all that shit.”

I heard Lauren suck air between her teeth before she spoke, “Well, they’re making a big deal out of you being emotional. They’re reading between the lines and running with it.”

I squeezed the bridge of my nose, “I knew I shouldn’t have fucking gone last night. I can’t believe I let you talk me into it.”

I could hear Lauren shuffling around on her end. “You know what, it needed to happen,” she then said matter of factly.

I pulled my hand away from my face, feeling a little stunned at her tone. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’ve been giving off the impression that you’re fine and have moved on when you haven’t. I know you haven’t. I can tell you're still hurting, even if you won’t admit it to yourself. He needs to see that. He needs to know what he did to you.” She paused briefly. “If this is a way for that to happen, then so be it.”

For the first time ever, Lauren had literally stunned me into silence.

I scoffed, “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“Good. Don’t say anything because I don’t want to hear any more excuses. You need to get your head out of your ass and stop avoiding everything,” she said in a rush.

I could hear her take a deep breath before she continued in an oddly pleasant tone, “Now, I have things to do. I’m gonna let you go. I’ll text you later.”

I couldn’t help but to chuckle at her abrupt change in attitude, “Oook, I look forward to your text.”

“Ok. Good. Bye.”

She hung up without giving me the chance to say goodbye. That was just as bizarre as the cat thing. What the hell has gotten into that girl?

I sat staring at the wall, my right hand tapping on my left shoulder, thinking through what she said. Had he seen those videos? Is that why he was looking at me like that? I couldn’t tell if he was upset, mad, or high on something. Was I the asshole for not even trying to talk to him? Why would I, after the way he talked to me last time? I had so many conflicting thoughts and feelings running through my mind, I didn’t know how to process it all.

What I did know is that I couldn’t keep running into him like that. It was too much and wasn’t going to help with the healing process. I know Lauren would say I was avoiding the issue, but I needed to be away from him. Somehow, I needed to start over. For the first time since Carrington had offered me the new position, I was leaning toward an answer. Silicon Valley was beginning to feel less like an opportunity, and more like the escape I desperately needed.

My phone buzzed on the table, breaking me away from my thoughts. It was a text from Kerrie.

KERRIE: Just so you know, videos from last night are literally everywhere.

I sighed. A second text from her came through with a link to a TMZ article. I opened it, noting the time stamp was late last night, with several updates added since. I hit play on one of the many videos of me singing. I almost didn’t recognize myself. The look on my face was clearly that of someone fighting off emotions. I didn’t look or sound bad, but it was hard to watch without it evoking some type of sad emotion - without it bringing up everything that I had been feeling last night and just now when I had run into Dieter. I stopped it before it got to the end and closed the browser window. The last thing I needed right now was to relive that minor breakdown.

There was another video, taken from a distance, of me drinking at the bar before I went up on stage, and another of me at the bar right after when I had been trying to compose myself. The article that accompanied the videos was all pure speculation, suggesting that I was upset about being jilted by one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. I mean, it wasn’t wrong, but they couldn’t possibly know that for sure. I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone back down on the table. On top of everything that was going on, the burden of not being able to go anywhere without being recorded and photographed was suffocating me. It would be one thing if Dieter and I were still together, but we were not. I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t let it go already. Yet another reason to go somewhere else for a fresh start. There’s no way I could possibly be happy here under these conditions.

Trying to keep the anxiety at bay, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, then got up to make a quick breakfast. Afterwards, I showered and settled in for a day of work in my home office. I still had a lot of prep work to do and loose ends to tie up if I was going to accept that job. The hours seemed to melt into each other as they flew by, and before I knew it, the sun was setting as darkness filled the room. Once my laptop was the only source of light, I finally got up to turn on a couple of lamps. As I was about to sit back down at my desk, my phone lit up with an incoming call.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw the name that appeared on the screen. Guy from the Bar. I still hadn’t changed it from what he had entered into my contacts all those months ago. Unable to move at first, I stared at my phone, debating whether to answer the call, until something in my gut told me I needed to.

I could feel every muscle in my body tense as I hit the answer button. “Dieter?”

A deep sigh sounded on the other end of the line before he spoke. “I… I’m surprised you answered.”

His voice sounded rough; the words slurred, throwing the cadence off. He spoke too slow, too laced with whatever he was intoxicated with. I could feel a lump forming in my throat as I listened to him. It took everything I had to control my emotions.

“I assumed you wouldn’t call if you didn’t have a reason.” My legs suddenly felt weak as I sat down at the desk, clutching the phone in my hand.

“I just wanted to…I’m sorry... I… I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want it to stop.” He spoke quickly, his words jumbling together as his voice shook. I could hear a quiet whimper coming from him as his words trailed off.

The nauseous feeling from earlier came back with a vengeance. I felt sick to my stomach, and I could feel a tightness forming in my chest. He didn’t sound right. Something was wrong. Very wrong. “What are you talking about? You want what to stop?”

“The thoughts… feelings.” His breath hitched, then he continued. “It’s just too much. I’ve fucked it all up. All of it. It’s all…” He was quieter now, his voice sounding strained, the words still slurred in a blur of what sounded like tears. Panic began to rise in my chest.

“Where are you? Are you at home?” I stood up, moving to my bedroom to quickly pull on some clothes instead of the pajamas I was wearing. It stayed quiet on the other end of the line. He wasn’t answering me, but I could still hear him breathing.

“Dieter, answer me. Are you at home?” I asked again, trying to not let the panic overflow into my voice. He mumbled something that sounded like there could have been a yes in there somewhere. Then there was a thud, it sounded like he dropped the phone. I could hear a quiet groan in the background, then nothing else but silence. I yelled his name several times, internally begging for him to answer me, but I got no response.

I slid on some sandals and grabbed my keys as I rushed downstairs to the garage, dialing Gabby as I got into my car. When she picked up the phone after a few rings, I didn’t even give her a chance to finish her greeting before I spoke.

“Gabby, something’s wrong. Meet me at Dieter’s house. Do you have a key?”

“Yes, I’m on my way. What happened?” I could hear rustling in the background and the jingle of her keys. She quickly yelled at her husband that something was wrong with Dieter, and she had to leave, followed by the sound of a door slamming before he could respond to her.

“I don’t know. He called me and wasn’t making any sense, then stopped responding… I think he passed out. I’ll see you there in a few,” I said as I pulled out of my driveway. I ended the call before she could reply, realizing that my hands were shaking, and that I needed all my focus to drive over to Dieter’s place.

I was at his house within minutes. Once I parked, I ran to the front door and knocked, then banged on the door when I didn’t get a response right away. The lights were on, but there was no movement inside the house. I tried the doorknob, surprised when I realized it was unlocked. For a moment I hesitated, afraid of what I would find, then pushed the door all the way open and went inside.

As I stepped into the entryway, I was met with an eerie silence. I called out to Dieter, but there was no response. I could feel my breathing going shallow as I walked toward the living room, bracing myself for several possible scenarios. The space was littered with empty and broken liquor bottles, shards covering every surface. The bright orange color of prescription bottles scattered all over the coffee table immediately caught my attention. The place wasn’t just a mess, it was absolutely wrecked. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I could hear the blood pumping in my ears as I took in the sights, still not seeing Dieter. I couldn’t find my voice to say anything, so I just walked further into the living room, desperately hoping to find him.

I nearly slid on the floor as I realized I had stepped into something wet. I followed the trail of spilled liquid, then spotted Dieter lying on the floor behind the couch. His phone was next to him in a puddle of spilled tequila. The mostly empty glass bottle laid near the phone.

My breathing stopped when I saw how pale he looked, and I rushed over to him, mentally shoving down the barrage of emotions that threatened to cloud my mind. None of that mattered. All I cared about was making sure he would be okay. “D? Dieter, I’m here. Can you hear me?” I dropped to my knees next to him and pressed my hands against his face, tilted his head to try to gauge whether he was responsive. He was cold and clammy, not at all like the usual body heat he would radiate. Once again, I forced myself to stay calm and called his name a few more times, shaking him gently to see if that would stir him. “Please don’t do this. Wake up. Dieter, stay with me.” His eyes opened slightly, unfocused and looking vacantly up to the ceiling, then closed again. His breathing remained irregular, barely audible. It was a terrifying sight, seeing him immobile and unresponsive like this.

With effort I managed to turn him onto his side, knowing that was the safest position for him in case he needed to vomit - the last thing we needed was for him to choke on it. “Dieter. Dieter, you have to wake up,” I tried again, slipping my index and middle finger just to the side of his Adam’s apple to check his pulse. It was weak but still present, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Before I could do anything else, I heard someone barge into the house, and I recognized Gabby’s voice calling her brother’s name and mine.

“Over here!”, I yelled, and a few seconds later she stumbled into the living room, freezing in her spot when she saw us on the floor. “No. Dieter!”, she cried, tears in her eyes as stared at her unconscious brother.

“Gabby, listen. Take a breath,” I rushed to tell her before she could do anything else. “He’s got a pulse, but we need to get him to a hospital. I think he has alcohol poisoning.”

Her breathing had started to turn into short, stuttered breaths, and I could see her unravel as she started hyperventilating, eyes fixed on Dieter. “He…”

“Gabby? Gabby,” I kept my voice calm but stern as I called her until her eyes landed on me, and I gave her a reassuring nod. “You need to focus, I can’t do this by myself. Take a breath.” She shook her head as she pulled herself together, her hands trembling as she reached for her phone. “I’ll call 911,” she said, dialing the number. “They…-”

“No, it’ll take too long for them to get here,” I interrupted her, knowing we did not have the luxury of time considering the state he was in. “We need to take him now, ok? Go pull your car up to the front and get back in here, we’ll get him there.”

She left and I tried to wake Dieter again, cradling his body against mine, but he remained unresponsive. Looking around, I remembered the pills on the table. I could see the lids were popped off some of them, but they still looked mostly full. Aside from them and the many shattered bottles of alcohol, there didn’t seem to be any other substances laying around. At least that was a relief.

When Gabby came back into the room, I instructed her to grab the prescription bottles just in case he had taken them. It would be helpful to the doctors to know what was potentially in his system. She threw them in her purse before running over to us, helping me get him off the floor.

With sheer force and adrenaline, we were able to lift him - each of us with one of his arms wrapped around our necks as we steadied him around his middle, carefully getting him out to Gabby’s car as fast as we possibly could. “Dieter, your sister’s here. We’ve got you; we’re taking you the hospital,” I said to him, knowing he probably wouldn’t be able to respond. I wanted him to know we were here and that we were getting him help.

Gabby helped me hoist him into the back seat of her car. I climbed in, making sure that he could safely lay across my lap while remaining on his side. When we got him situated, she closed the door and rushed over to the driver’s seat, hopping in as she set a straight course for the highway while calling her other brother.

Hearing Alex’s voice over the Bluetooth seemed to steady her for a moment, and she immediately filled him in on what was going on. “Where do we take him? What’s the nearest hospital?”

Alex said her name, gently urging her to calm down. “What are his symptoms?”

“Uneven breathing, clammy, weak pulse, unresponsive,” I answered instead of her. “Only opened his eyes for a second. I found him in a puddle of tequila, and he may have taken some prescription drugs.”

“Got it. You need to get him to the ER right away. USC Verdugo is probably closest”, Alex suggested, reassuring Gabby that he knew several of the doctors. “I’ll call ahead and let them know you’re coming in. I’ll meet you there soon.”

Once we got off the phone with Alex, it was strangely quiet in the car for a few minutes as we both tried to gather our thoughts. I could hear Gabby taking deep breaths before she spoke up, her breathing starting to stutter slightly, “How bad is alcohol poisoning?”

I met her glistening eyes in the rearview mirror, my heart aching for her. “It can be bad,” I said honestly, trying to keep my voice calm. I hated being blunt during a moment of crisis, but there was no way I was going to beat around the bush. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I lightly ran my fingers through Dieter’s hair, touching his face every now and then to check if he was becoming more responsive - but that wasn’t the case. At this point, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold it together.

It probably took us about fifteen minutes to get to the ER, but it felt much longer as I watched his condition worsen. His breathing was becoming so irregular that I was afraid I would have to try and do CPR in the car. As soon as we pulled up in front of the ER entrance, the vehicle was swarmed with hospital staff, pulling Dieter out of the car and onto a gurney. Several nurses immediately assessed his condition while one placed a medical resuscitator bag over his nose and mouth, then they wheeled him inside, leaving us behind.

As Gabby and I went through the sliding doors, we were joined by Alex and Lauren who had been waiting in the lobby. For a moment it struck me as odd that Lauren was there, but I couldn’t exactly process any thoughts regarding that. Down the hallway, we saw Dieter getting wheeled to the rear doors that led him further into the ER. That was the final straw that broke me, along with the knowledge that I didn’t need to be strong for him anymore. It was finally safe for me to fall apart. The lightheadedness from earlier returned with a new intensity. I gasped for air as I sank down to the floor, starting to sob uncontrollably. All the fears and emotions so tightly packed into my chest came pouring out at last. My vision was blurred momentarily by a rush of tears, then blackness sank in around the edges, slowly pulling me under. A/N: Y'all ready to stone me to death? Is it better or worse than you thought it was going to be? 🥴

No, he doesn't die. Happy ending, remember? This is the start of his recovery. It's going to be a long and rough road for both of them...but it is slowly uphill from here. How about that song? I felt like it summed up Talia'a feelings pretty well and was a solid choice. I listened to that shit on repeat while I wrote this chapter. Pretty sure my sanity is in question at this point. We now have confirmation about the cat. A lot of you were right, it is indeed Alex. Are we excited about that or no? Let me know how you're feeling after reading this. Do we need a support group meeting? 👀😬 I am currently working on the next chapter. It's going slow, so I don't have an ETA on it yet. I want to make sure I get the next few parts right as they cover some very tough topics. I'll let you know when I'm getting close to finishing though. Lastly, a quick thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for doing all the beta work and suffering through it with me. It's better and more heart wrenching thanks to her. 🤭 As usual, I have included the chapter mood board below. Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @pedrostories

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter bravo #dieter x ofc #dieter bravo fic #Destiny & Deliverance Series #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo x ofc #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #the bubble #the bubble fanfiction #Spotify

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themidnightarcher · 6 months

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❛ ♡ INTRODUCTION POST ☕ ୧

↳ જ⁀➴ 🏹 ｡˚ “i want to do something splendid before i go into my castle--something heroic, or wonderful--that won't be forgotten after i'm dead. i don't know what, but i'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day. i think i shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream.” — JO MARCH, LITTLE WOMEN <33 (my absolute beloved!!)

❝𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋, 𝐒𝐎 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋❞

││↳ 🖇️ ⵌ . HI HELLO!! welcome to my page, i'm fatmata, 14 and a hopeless romantic - this is my blog (aka daily dose of cats, coffee and cynicism) but honestly you can consider this as my personal messy online diary which mostly consists of casual brainrots, miscellaneous shit, random incoherent thoughts or rambles, angry rants, online oversharing or any current hyperfixations or obsessions i have at the moment!! <33 my brain is chaotic and always seems to be all over the place (sorry for your sanity). i'm also INCREDIBLY self-indulgent, sentimental, full of suppressed rage and can become unhealthily attached to fictional characters so yeah that's that :)) 📄

│╰─────────── · · · ──────────

╰┈➤ [BASIC INFO] -> black • 🇸🇱/🇬🇧 • UK • 14 • student • INFJ, 8w7 • scorpio sun/moon • virgo rising • slytherin • casual swiftie • major coffee addict (me 🤝 lorelai & rory over being insane over coffee) • PROUD FEMINIST • avid reader • insomniac • CAT LOVER • sunset & sunrise enjoyer • autumn/spring stan • philosopher at heart • major english & history lover • middle child • team conrad • lalala girlie <33 (methinks) • horror movie enthusiast • HARDCORE MUSIC JUNKIE • replay the 'this is me trying' bridge more than the average person should 🤷‍♀️ • olivia rodrigo supporter • self-diagnosed pinterest whore • legally married to spotify • fashionista & lipgloss lover • certified rockstar gf • red nails enthusiast • midnights & rep girlie!! • BRATZ & MONSTER HIGH >>> • stationary shops adorer • freddie mcclair apologist FIRST, human second ♡ • probably (NO DEFINITELY) mentally unstable? • professional perfectionist, overthinker & teenage girl-er 24/7 • burnt out workaholic • suffer from an EXTREME case of gifted kid burnout, exam anxiety & identity crisis (so hey that's super fun!!)

╰┈➤ [MAJOR INTERESTS/HOBBIES] -> true crime ➝ listening to music ➝ reading ➝ playlist-making ➝ sociology ➝ media/character analysis ➝ english literature ➝ greek mythology ➝ dancing ➝ reading ➝ playing video games ➝ defending my beloved characters ➝ deep intellectual conversations ➝ watching greta gerwig films ➝ arts & crafts ➝ FASHION ➝ sleeping ALL day ➝ online shopping but never actually buying anything? ➝ researching random shit on the internet ➝ photography ➝ skincare ➝ crocheting ➝ cooking & baking ➝ studying ➝ writing in planners/organising journals ➝ going to stationary stores ➝ board games ➝ girlblogging ➝ maladaptive daydreaming ➝ scrolling on pinterest/tumblr for unhealthy amounts of time ➝ making moodboards ➝ etc. (but i also DESPERATELY want to learn the electric guitar because it's like the best instrument to ever exist?!)

my beloved freffy (bottom right corner) ILY TO DEATH, you deserved BETTER *sobbing while enraged*

╰┈➤ 🎧 [ARTISTS] -> taylor swift (OBVIOUSLY), lana del rey, olivia rodrigo, gracie abrams, conan gray, sabrina carpenter, beabadoobee, maisie peters, mitski, cigarettes after sex, sza, the weeknd, beyonce, kanye west, reneé rapp, ABBA, melanie martinez, tv girl, marina, doja cat, the smiths, queen, nirvana, rihanna, ariana grande, tyler the creator, adele, lorde, mac demarco, phoebe bridgers, avril lavinge, boygenius, laufey, suki waterhouse, fiona apple, clairo, billie eilish, madison beer, tate mcrae, steve lacy, kali uchis, girl in red, lizzy mcalpine, arctic monkeys, radiohead, mazzy star, coldplay, ricky montgomery, harry styles, chase atlantic, the neighborhood, roar, alex g, pinkpantheress & more!!

╰┈➤ 📖 [BOOKS] -> (ok so one thing you should understand is that i've never actually read half of these before but ANYWHO these are books i'm hoping to read in the late future so i guess they still count?? so consider this as my reading list. i'll cross them out once i've finished them!!)

╰┈➤ 🎬 [TV SHOWS/FILM] -> skins, gilmore girls, bridgerton, derry girls, ladybird, little women (2019), tsitp, barbie (2023), anne with an e, twilight, stand by me (1986), the breakfast club (1985) the edge of seventeen, boyz n the hood (1991), red white and royal blue, ten things i hate about you, thirteen (2003), girl interrupted, thg, gossip girl, heartstopper, clueless, legally blonde, [2000s chic rom-com teen girlie movies have me in a severe life-threatening chokehold, send help], outerbanks, never have i ever, sex education, etc. and MANY MORE 🫶🏾🫶🏾

╰┈➤ [+ CHARACTERS] -> JO MARCH, hermione granger, edward cullen, pippa fitz-amobi, ravi singh, rory gilmore, lorelai gilmore, lane kim, anne shirley, mulan, katniss everdeen, peeta mellark, freddie mcclair, effy stonem, cam cameron, devi vishwakumar, nadine franklin, nick nelson, allison reynolds, kat stratford, max mayfield, tracy freeland, conrad fisher, liz buxbaum, wes bennet, peter parker, alex claremont-diaz, georgia nicholson, sidney prescott + MUCH MORE

❝ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐘, "𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ❞

ִ ࣪ ⟡ ִ ۫ ִ 🕯️ ── ꒱ ◠ 🎹 ۫ ִ ۫⊹

ִ ࣪𖤐 currently reading agggtm, (re) watching skins (uk) and listening to i wish you roses (kali uchis) <33

ִ ࣪𖤐 i tend to mostly post or reblog lots and lots of art, music, history, fashion, taylor swift, FREFFY, scene aes, pop culture, food, lifestyle, fanfiction, poetry, classic literature, shakespeare, greek mythology, coquette/downtown girl aesthetic, gilmore girls, whispers, gifs, moodboards, original posts, whatever fandom i'm in, etc. overall just WHATEVER seems to catch my eye at the given moment!!

╰┈➤ DNI - racists, terfs/radfems, AGEISTS, proshippers, ableists, ED-promoting blogs, pedophiles, bigots, empty blogs (y'all might be bots or smth), gaylors/kaylors, ceffy shippers (BIASED), mean girls, zoophiles, joe alwyn haters, anti-palestinians, misandrists/misogynists, antisemitics, fatphobes, islamophobes, homophobics, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. and ANYONE ELSE who fits into that majority → 🚪(especially creeps who want to do any 'freaky' shit with me??)

❝ 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄, 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❞

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NOW PLAYING: PEOPLE WATCHING - CONAN GRAY‎ — ♬

01:23 ━━━━●───── 02:38

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★₊˚﹟' CREATED BY @ [--- #THEMIDNIGHTARCHER ]

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ikamigami · 10 months

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Am I exaggerating whenever I say that Sun will "off" himself?

I see so many signs that the show's plot is going in this direction.. and yet I feel like I'm in minority...

Most people tend to focus more on Eclipse and his issues... Yeah, he needs therapy.. but no one can force him to change. He have to want that even if no one would forgive him or no one would like him. It might be harder to want to change but.. it's important to remember that we should always change for ourselves, for our own mental health etc. Eclipse shouldn't take things for granted because this is where the issue lays...

Anyway.. I didn't want to talk about Eclipse. It irks me that people tend to babify Eclipse and vilify Sun at the same time. I guess someone has to be a villain?/s But it frustrates me that people saw that Eclipse is su*c*dal and didn't see that with Sun! They saw it only when it was explicitely pointed out!

I know people probably like Eclipse more than Sun. If not.. Sun's fans are probably hidden somewhere..?

Anyway.. that's not what I wanted to talk about either.

I wanted to point out some of the signs that show really is going with Sun will "off" himself plot:

despite the obvious fact that Sun truly believes that he made everything worse there are also things like:

Earth's comment about Sun's cat liking her so much - Sun may feel like even his cat doesn't love him;

Earth's comment about her anxiety and lower self-esteem due to feeling unsure if she's helpful enough etc. - Sun may feel the need to support her more and shove away his own problems which will result with him not wanting to open up to Earth to not burden her further;

Moon's obliviousness to Sun's struggles - Sun may feel like no one really cares about him;

Moon's quick dismiss of Sun's idea about what to do with Eclipse - Sun may feel like he's efforts are nothing which alongside with

Moon doing most of the tough, important things - reinforces Sun's feelings of being useless and stupid;

Moon obliviousness to the whole situation with that "fangirl" - Sun may feel like Moon doesn't care about him or that his struggles are completely invisible;

Existence of "fans" like that "fangirl" - Sun said "so you're this type of fan" - did he met more fans like her? I'm assuming that yes, he did. - Sun may feel like fans not only doesn't like him but they hate him and either they want him gone or like seeing him suffer which he knows from comments on YT and Discord;

Being left alone with computer often time because Earth is in her room and Moon is going to do most of things needed to help with Eclipse's and creator's situations - computer's attitude towards Sun may worsen his mental state.

All of those things are so little and so easy to go unnoticed but it doesn't mean that they don't hurt Sun. And it's even worse in Earth's and Moon's cases because Sun knows that they care! How much easier it would be if they didn't... How much easier it would be to let go... But they care! They care.. and yet.. they seem so oblivious to Sun's struggles and suffering. Which only fuels su*c*dal thoughts and feeling of unbearable pain..!

I really wish that Sun won't kill himself.. or even try to... But the signs are there.. and they're painfully obvious... And yet not many people seem to notice that.. or maybe they don't care... ; ;

People only seem to care about other characters. "Where is Lunar?" "Oh no, Moon will sacrifice himself again!" "Eclipse is su*c*dal..." "I want Bloodmoon back!" And also the fact some of the fans left or were saying that show is badly written when show started focusing more on Sun's issues.. doesn't help to shaken off the feeling that people don't like Sun that much...

I know that people can like whoever they want.. but the lack of understanding of Sun's issues is unnerving... I still see that people only focus on Sun's "anger issues" even if it's the least concerning issue of all! It's tiring.. it's just tiring...

#sun and moon show #sams #sun and moon show sun #sams sun #fnaf sb #fnaf sun #sun and moon show moon #sams moon #fnaf moon #sams eclipse #sams earth #sams bloodmoon #sams lunar #sams spoilers #tw sui implied #tw sui #tw sui attempt #tw vent

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tsams-confessions · 11 days

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Tbh if you think about it it sorta seems like sun is mistaking depression for getting better-

If you think about it, all he does, or atleast all he wants to do, Is stay at home with his cats while drinking wine- he has also been getting more irritable lately, snapping at both eclipse and the creator when normally he wouldn't have said anything-

It sorta seems like he's just gaining depression, man- people normally mistake staying at home and doing nothing as "mental health days" when in reality it just makes your mental health worse without you even noticing, so. And sun would definitely mistake depression symptoms as his anxiety and ocd getting better-

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

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raibebe · 1 year

Text

Moving foreward

Genre: fluff Words: 2.457 Prompt: Samoyed hybrid Jeno x fem. reader

Warnings: unspecific allusions to childhood trauma, allusions to genetic modification

A/N: MY BABY IS BACK! And more baby and insecure than ever because this is set very early in the story and we get to learn some of his background! Bonus points for everyone who can guess which game he was playing. Also please appreciate the header, I ripped my hair out for streamer Jeno.

Hybridverse masterlist

“Wow, I can’t believe they’d just end it like that,” Jeno shook his head, falling back into his chair as he stared blankly at the ending screen of the game he had been playing on stream, “I need answers. This can’t be it. I know this isn’t it.” “We missed a few clues in the mines and the hospital I think,” he read a comment from his chat, “The mines were so creepy, you can’t blame me for that,” he whined, his ears flattening into his fluffy hair, “I was busy not getting that annoying girl killed even though she deserved it for being an absolute ass.” At that, his chat broke out in laughing emotes. “Am I wrong though?” He giggled, closing the game and enlarging his facecam for the viewers instead, so they didn’t have to look at the menu screen. For the cozy atmosphere that he was always striving for, he pulled up his curated playlist of calming videogame soundtracks.

“So… I kinda didn’t think we’d be able to finish so quickly, so I don’t really have anything else planned,” he admitted, “We could just jump into some other game real quick but I’m not in the mood for any shooters right now and I might launch myself out of my chair when I get jumpscared again.” He scanned the chat for good suggestions for a little while, his eyes darting over to the clock at the bottom of his screen. It was already quite late and the last half an hour of that game had been way too intense. So maybe he could just cut the stream early today and just get some extra cuddles. That would be nice. He’d very much like some cuddles. And maybe some ear scratches.

“Will you be playing ‘No home for us’ once it’s out?” He read out a question from one of his mods. “You know actually,” Jeno sighed, nervously picking at his cuticles, he knew that this question would be coming up sooner or later and that his answer might be unexpected. “I won’t.” Before he could even explain himself, his chat exploded with messages and confused emotes, the messages coming in so fast, twitch was barely able to buffer all of them. “Wait, wait wait, let me explain,” he asked, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts, “I think the game is going to be great. From what I’ve seen in the trailers and promotional videos, it’s going to bring attention to lots of valid concerns regarding us hybrids and the graphics are absolutely phenomenal. But… But I think the story will hit too close to home for me. I don’t think I’d be in the right mindset to play this and for my mental health, I’ll refrain from playing it on stream. Maybe I’ll take a look and play it in private so I can tell you guys my thoughts on it at least. But I really can’t do this on stream for my own safety.”

The tone of the chat messages immediately turned from confused to concerned at his words. The game was supposed to be a heavily story-based game following the journey of three different hybrids and it had been praised to high heavens because of that. But especially the story of the female cat hybrid had made the hairs at the back of Jeno’s neck stand up just from seeing the promotional videos and the behind-the-scenes the company had sent him because they obviously wanted hybrid content creators to talk about their game. It was eerily similar to his story even though hers would probably be even more dramatic for obvious reasons of storytelling and would only have a happy ending if you made the correct choices throughout the game. And Jeno already knew that if he were sitting alone in his streaming room, he’d go insane with anxiety over every little choice he had made because he needed this potential happy ending to happen or he’d just end up crying.

“I- I’ve never really spoken about my story and how I ended up here but I know some longtime followers have probably a good understanding of it,” Jeno mused, sipping on his Redbull just to get a sense of comfort from having the stupid metal straw in his mouth. A coping mechanism - and a comparatively healthy one or so his therapist had told him.

“Yeah, my story sadly isn’t the one of the golden retriever hybrid,” he laughed uncomfortably, “No privileged background despite my breed. I- I actually grew up in a shelter for most of my life and I’ll always be incredibly grateful for how good care I was receiving there, the social workers really did their best trying to take care of me and all the others.” “Prestigious breed,” Jeno read the comment flying past, his head tilting in confusion, “What’s that even supposed to mean.” He could only snort. Unsure if he should be angry and tell this person off or if he should’ve just ignored the comment to avoid fueling the discussion further. “I mean I guess Samoyeds are on the rarer side of Hybrids but there’s more to it - to me - than that. Multiple factors go into adoption and- Maybe I should do a whole video about this. With a dramatic title and all.” Jeno cut himself short with a giggle before he could get worked up about it. Some people - humans - just didn’t know what life was like for lots of hybrids. Especially the younger humans who didn’t know much about the history and the continuous fight of Hybrids for basic human rights. And while it was seen as normal for Hybrids to attend college and school nowadays, they still had a long way to go until they’d reach true equality.

“Our family just took in a cat hybrid the other day from a shelter and it has been such a process and a half.” “I’m glad to hear that”, Jeno smiled, “Not that it’s been so hard but that you decided to take someone in need in. And I hope you’ll take the time and effort to try to understand them and learn if they need any special care so you can provide for them. I should really just make a video on this since you’re always so interested in anything hybrid matters. And you really seemed to like the last video where my girlfriend helped to test just how good my sense of smell really is.”

“I’ve actually thought about telling my story multiple times but- But it’s really not a pretty story. And I never wanted my platform to be about me as a person but rather about the games and just having fun and making your days better with it, maybe making some fun content about hybrids with my friend but that’s it. And I already know that if I end up telling my story, people will be nasty about it and tell me that I’m only doing it for attention. But at the same time, this obviously is a huge part of my life and why I am the person I am today and maybe I can do something good for the community if I use my platform to call attention to things like that.”

A soft knock on the door pulled Jeno from his train of thought, his head snapping to where you quietly slipped into the room. Despite the heavy topic feeling like a weight pressing down on his chest, he couldn’t fight the smile that spread on his lips nor how his tail started wagging. “Hi puppy,” you whispered, mirroring his smile. Making sure that your face was out of the camera shot, you stepped into the frame, letting Jeno pull you close with a grip around your waist. “Thought you might need some company,” you explained yourself, shyly waving to the viewers who were welcoming you warmly. “I’m okay,” Jeno promised, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs with your comforting smell. “You think it’s a good idea?” “Telling your story?” In lieu of an answer, he simply nodded, looking up at you from beneath his lashes. Smiling, you playfully scratched beneath his chin, always endlessly endeared with his puppy-like mannerisms.

“I think it could be a really good thing. To shine a light on some stuff people don’t really talk about and to make people pay attention to things they didn’t know existed,” you spoke your mind, “But it will also make you very vulnerable and I don’t know if you feel comfortable doing that. It’s- It’s a heavy topic just like you said and I don’t know what it’ll do to you mentally if you revisit that time.” “So you’re saying that I shouldn’t do it,” Jeno asked, his brows pulled together in a frown. “That’s not what I said,” you smiled, gently rubbing your thumb through the crease to make him stop frowning, “I know you’re much stronger than when we first met and that you grew so much as a person in such a short time but these memories are- they’re traumatic and you know I hate nothing more than seeing you distressed or in pain.”

With a glance to his chat that seemed to just be filled with his cute samoyed heart emote, Jeno took a deep breath, giving in to the urge to bury his face in your stomach, nuzzling into the comforting smell of your laundry detergent and something just inherently you. “I asked Doyoung for my files a while back. I have them here but I didn’t have the courage to look into them.” “Do you wanna do that?” You whispered, carefully taking his headset off so you could card your hands through his silky hair and scratch your nails gently against his scalp and along the base of his ears to relax him. “I think I do,” he whispered back, “I wanna do this. I need to know.” “Then I’ll be here to support you,” you smiled, resisting the urge to kiss the crown of Jenos head to keep your face off of the internet, “For every step of the way.” “Love you,” he mumbled into the fabric of your shirt but you were so used to hearing the words from him that you understood them anyways. “Love you too, pup.” Playfully, you pulled his chair off-screen, swallowing his surprised yelp with a sweet kiss. “I have to end the stream,” he sighed against your lips but contradictory to his words, he stole another kiss that you couldn’t help but smile into, butterflies erupting in your stomach like it was the first kiss you shared. “I’ll wait in bed,” you promised, carefully rolling Jeno back into the frame of his facecam.

Smiling fondly, you watched him stumble over his words with a pinkened face as he said goodbye to his followers. “I- Uhm- Yeah. Oh god,” he giggled, putting his hands on his cheeks to cool down his burning face, “Yeah. I- Like. Uhm. Bye?” At his flustered stuttering, the heart emotes in his chat were replaced by laughing emotes and only then did Jeno notice that his mods must have changed the chat to emote-only mode possibly due to the comments either being mean or it becoming so many, they couldn’t monitor all of them for his mental health. “We can leave the emote-only mode now I think,” he smiled gently, “Everyone, say thank you to our mods for keeping this a safe and positive space.”

“How dare my favorite streamer make me feel single,” he read out a comment, immediately feeling more blood rush to his face, “Well, yeah for those who don’t know or haven’t suspected, that was my girlfriend and I guess we’re going to try and figure out more about my story and stuff… And eventually, I’ll post a video and share as much as I feel comfortable. To… You know raise awareness and actually use my platform for something else rather than getting jumpscared by scary-looking creatures in an old asylum.” “Hmm, yeah, I don’t know what we’ll do on Friday yet. I have to see if Haechan and Chenle are free, so we can play keep expanding our base in ‘The Forest’ and get some more exploring done for once. Yeah… Oh no, I absolutely haven’t forgotten that Chenle betrayed me and left me by myself with that crazy mutant. I’ll get my revenge.” “So yeah, we’ll let you guys know beforehand if the terrible trio will get together on Friday or if I play something by myself. There is this new ghost-hunting game I wanted to give a shot. But until then, stay safe, be kind and don’t forget to stay hydrated. Bye bye, guys.”

Smiling into the camera and blowing a kiss to it, Jeno turned off his stream. Sighing, he slumped back into his chair for a bit, staring at the empty overlay of his streaming software. He was really going to do this. With his heartbeat picking up and his blood loudly rushing through his veins, he slowly reached out to the bottommost drawer of his desk. The drawer was empty, safe for two things: A thick, light brown file with his name written in Doyoung’s neat handwriting and the stamp of the shelter and an almost sterile-looking white one that just had the number 423 and a logo that resembled DNA splicing printed in black ink. The brown file didn’t worry him too much. Doyoung had already told him that it was mostly his medical records, court cases and documentation of his past failed adoptions. The white file on the other hand gave him chills just looking at it. He didn’t have many memories from when he was a young child - trauma-blocking his therapist had called it - but he could for some reason vividly remember the DNA splicing logo and it was enough to make him sick to the stomach. Gritting his teeth, he picked up the file to put it on his desk. Between all the dark equipment in his room, it stood out like a sore thumb. It clearly didn’t belong here. But whatever was documented in there, it was part of Jeno, no matter how much he hated it. “Tomorrow,” he whispered to no one but himself, pulling his lower lip between his sharp teeth. Tomorrow, he was going to ask you to sit down to look through the file.

Tonight, he only wanted the comfort of your touch. And if he was demanding to be the small spoon that night, scrolling through Twitter to see the cute clips his fans had made of your visit to the streaming room, that was between him and his browser history.

#jeno #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #neowritingsnet #jeno fluff #nct fluff #jeno imagines #jeno scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios

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