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dappercritter · 5 years

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You have been granted the oppurtunity to recast your favorite animated movie! The only catch is that each of the characters in said movie are animated characters from different shows/movies (X from show/movie is Bob, X from show/movie is Larry, ect.)

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boi. You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed, my friend!

Once long ago, before the Cringe Ages, I loved recasting my favourite and sometimes least favourite movies with characters from my favourite shows. But then I started taking storytelling more seriously and sentimentally and… art-y, and I started acting as if I was above the stuff somehow. To this day, I still don’t know whether to blame the masses or my own hubris.

But now! Now, the floodgates of my childish, innocent mind are open once more! And I have just the idea: The Nightmare Before Christmas but with Villainous and Batman* characters! (With a few CN villains on the side.) So, I guess you could call it…

The Villainous Nightmare Before Batman!

(No, wait. Uhhhhh…)

The Dark Knight Before Villainous!

Ok, yeah, that should do.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “Dapper Critter, what are you doing this? Sure, Batman meets Villainous could work, but why are you bringing The Nightmare Before Christmas into this? It’s not even Halloween or Christmas! What are you thinking?!” Well, first of all, Christmas and Halloween aren’t just holidays, they’re states-of-mind. Second, I think it’s time you guys learned something important: I’m a big ol’ lowkey goth baby, baby! If it’s spooky or gothic, I’ll soak it up like a sponge in sink full of soapy water. And nothing says gothic like the hero of a city literally called “Gotham,” a show with a grotesque monster hiding behind the guise of a well-dressed man, and the classic story of Jack Skellington himself! What’s more, all three of these hold a special place in my heart, as they all played a huge part in helping me develop and realize my interest in gothic culture. Lastly, I can see the worlds of these three stories coming together quite easily. Behold, this plot pitch I just made!

“Another Halloween has come and gone in CN City, and another cheerful Christmas is on its way. Black Hat, unofficial master of all that is dark and evil, is thoroughly disgusted that the multiverse will soon be returning to it’s obnoxiously cheerful and wholesome state. He morosely tears a hole through time and space to talk a walk through reality, miserable that he’s stuck living in such a wonderful place. That is until he stumbles upon the city of Gotham, where no matter what time of year it is, the streets are filled with misery and malicious mayhem. Delighted, he sets out to celebrate Christmas his own way: by taking a certain caped-crusader out of the picture and making Gotham his very own holiday vacation home! Little does he know, there’s one special girl who thinks he can celebrate right where he is, as well as a certain clown who’s got his own sinister Christmas party in mind…”

So now that I’ve convinced you, I think it’s time we got down to the actual recasting! Let’s begin, my darling children of the Hot Topic night…

Black Hat as Jack Skellington: This couldn’t have been easier—they’re both creepy gentlemen with excellent taste in fashion. Yes, I know Black Hat is a lot less nice than our dear Pumpkin King, but let’s just say this story takes the odd liberty here and there. Not to mention, Black Hat could easily match Jack’s enthusiasm, intelligence, style, and obsessive inquisitions. Plus, he could totally pull off an evil Santa suit. (Though to be honest, I’m not sure if his snarling, slimy, cockney-accented voice could match Danny Elfman’s melodious singing.)

Demencia as Sally: A devoted, mildly ghoulish, and totally cute fangirl who’s always pining after their darling idol, and who may or may not have been made in a lab? It’s like this fancast is writing itself! Demencia might be a bit more proactive—and scary—in the plot, but I can see her a lot Sally’s dilemma in her as she tries to get Black Hat to notice her and not to abandon them in pursuit of a crazy dream. (Well, that I’m filthy Lizardhat trash.)

Dr. Flug as Dr. Finklestein: Flug, being the only mad scientist who’s employed by Black Hat, as well as the only to survive this, seems like a good pick. Sure, he’s not in a wheelchair and, no, he’s not as creepy as the bugger, but he could still work as our horrid hero’s right-hand man. Plus, since a big part of his canon character is putting up with Demencia’s BS (tell my family that means “baloney-sandwich”), he’d also do great as the one trying to keep the free-spirited love interest under control. Only here, it would be because he’s trying to keep Dem out of trouble so she doesn’t make his boss mad and try to kill him, as opposed to… whatever Finklestein’s problem is. And of course, he can still be menacing if need be. (Just watch the Lost Cases of Townsville and The Tree House…)

5.0.5. as Zero: A cute animal sidekick is a cute animal sidekick, I always say! And 5.0.5. was basically designed to be the ultimate cutesy animal sidekick. Therefore, he can be basically do anything Zero did. Try to cheer up Black Hat? Check. Pull Black Hate’s sleigh? Why couldn’t he? Yeah, he can’t be a flying ghost dog with a glowing nose, but I could just throw bedsheet on him (it was just after Halloween after all) and maybe say he swallowed that anti-gravity device.

Batman as Santa Claus: For Santa Clause, I needed someone who could be the absolute good guy in a world filled with bad guys and weirdos, much like Santa was in the movie. Likewise, since Jack kidnapped Santa to take over Christmas, Black Hat would need to kidnap the guy in charge of Gotham in order to take it for himself. So, of course he’s going to go after it’s #1 protector. I can also see Batman being the voice of reason in this madcap story. Not to mention that he could pull off a Santa suit even better than Black Hat! (In fact…)

The Joker as Oogie Boogie: This one I had some trouble with. I kept asking myself stuff like, “who would be brave enough to usurp Black Hat?,” “who could match Oogie’s siz—er, presence?” or “who would want to kidnap Santa Claus?,” and “Who would be into gambling and crazy funhouse stuff?” And then it came to me: The Joker. I mean, he’s got charisma, a sense of menace, he’s a cutthroat who loves to play with his enemies, and almost always has a big ol’ amusement park deathtrap on hand. Sure, he wouldn’t have the creepy demise like Oogie, but he could get a good beating and traumatizing from Black Hat and/or Demencia (who’d really hate being a damsel in distress, I imagine).

The Delightful Children from Down the Lane as Lock, Shock, and Barrel: At first, I thought of using other Batman villains or Shannon, Darrell, and Ernesto from OK K.O.!, but then I thought it would make more sense to have child villains from a CN show who could do bad things for slime-balls like Black Hat and Joker with pleasure. I instantly thought of these scheming, little monsters from Codename: Kids Next Door (an old favourite of mine). Although they’re usually talk and act in unison, they could have some comical bickering now and then. (After all, “Lenny is an idiot.”) Likewise, I can see Black Hat using Batman’s affinity for young people to get him while his guard’s down. They could make for great trick r’ treaters as well!

Lord Boxman as The Mayor: The mayor wasn’t a very important character, but he was definitely a memorable one, and the first character I thought of who could match his dual personality was Lord Boxman from OK K.O.! They both act like leaders but are really terrible at their jobs, suck up to better villains, and throw a whimpering tantrum like nobody else. (Also, I get to imagine Jim Cummings singing lines from The Nightmare Before Christmas songs, so that’s nice.)

Various CN Villains as The Citizens of Halloween Town: Like with The Mayor and the Trick R’ Treaters, I like to think that the various CN villains who cameoed in the Villainous Orientation series would show up as the denizens of the seedier side of CN City which—as you probably guessed—would be standing in for Halloween Town. Unfortunately, I do not have an encylcopediac knowledge of either Halloween Town residents, nor CN villains, so I’ll just list the ones I can remember and am the most proud of without offering any real justification.

Nohyas as Mr. Hyde: I couldn’t think of anyone besides Black Hat with a fancy hat or smaller versions of himself. Nohyas just so happens to have a suitable villain’s hat, and Handre (his hand puppet) could work in place of tiny clones living under his hats. (And yes, I like Mighty Magiswords. Deal with it.)

Zombozo as Clown with the Tear-Away Face: I don’t believe all creepy clowns look the same, but a ghoulish clown could easily stand in for another. Plus, I used to be a big Ben 10 fan, so I thought I ought to work something in.

Donny as Behemoth: This grass ogre from Adventure Time was more of an outright jerk than Behemoth, but he has a softer side so that would make him a great candidate for a resident gentle giant.

Loony Toons’ Dracula, Billy and Mandy’s Dracula, and Count Spankula as The Vampire Brothers: Do I really need to explain this one?

The Red Guy as Devil: I sure don’t need to elaborate on this one.

The Gangreen Gang as the Zombie Band: The Gangreens were basically based off edgy bands of the late 90’s, and thanks to Gorillaz, we know Ace can play the bass like a boss. Also, I can totally hear Ace saying, “Nice work, bone-daddy.”

Earl (AKA Dopey Black Hat) as Igor: Earl doesn’t get enough to do, inside or outside of Villainous canon.

The Beast as The Hanging Tree: Yeah, I know, I’m messed-up.

HIM as Harlequin Demon: Seriously, this one cast itself!

The Queen of the Black Puddle as Undersea Gal: I don’t watch Courage the Cowardly Dog much, but I remember seeing this villainess once before and I instantly thought she’d be a dead-ringer!

Morbidia and Gateaux as The Witches: Another natural casting derived from my soft spot for Mighty Magiswords. Although Gateaux is a male and a tall one at that, he’s perfect for being a huge suck-up. (I originally considered Miss Endive from Chowder and Duchess from Fosters’ Home for Imaginary Friends, but then I remembered that no matter what they dressed-up as, they’d be unlikeable.)

Monstrous Black Hat as The Monster Under the Bed: Like Earl and the other Black Hat clones, he doesn’t get enough love. (Though this may be a good thing, since he seems too nasty to receive or return it…)

Rob as The Melting Man: There aren’t a lot of CN villains who are melting, per se, but I figured this poor bad guy from Amazing World of Gumball and his unique media-mixed malformity could work.

Biowolf as The Wolfman: Because they’re both well designed wolfmen and I refuse to forget Generator Rex.

The Robins, Batgirl, and Alfred as the Elves: If Batman’s going to be Santa, then his support staff/family might as well be his helpers. Not to mention, they’d look great in cute little elf outfits happily working on Batman’s gadgets in preparation for the big Christmas crime wave.

The Justice League as The Army: Someone needs to show up to shoot-down Black Hat and his idea of Christmas at the end, and since he’s kidnapped Batman, I think it only makes sense that the Justice League would retaliate and come to clean up Black Hat’s mess. He’d also get a reminder that he isn’t just in Gotham City, he’s in the DC universe.

Unikitty as The Easter Bunny: I have my reasons. Them being, Unikitty is good at being sweet and innocent, the episode “Batkitty,” and her world is one of the few Black Hat has interacted with so far. I like to think that’s because he’s too repulsed by her cuteness to touch it. So imagine his reaction when the Delightful Children bring him to her by accident while she’s cosplaying as LEGO Batman or something.

And there you have it! I had a lot of fun making this recast. It was a great way to step out of my comfort zone and to have some fun. Not to mention, I had an excuse to listen to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack early. I sincerely hope you like it as much as I do, @good-guy-is-alive!

Now I just need to make sure Black Hat himself doesn’t see this, or else he might find me and—

Oh no.

No, please, Mister Black Hat, sir, you don’t understand. I just was doing this for fun. I wasn’t trying to make you look—

OH NO.

NO!

NOOOOOOOOOOjglkajgflkjdshGH;LJF’W abfklghlfuGFARGTADS!!!#%RQ#@!

…

*Since DC changes their Batman shows like people change their socks, we’ll just say that this is your standard DCAU/Bruce Timmverse Batman.

#goodguy #goodguyisalive #critter asks #critter answers #the nightmare before christmas #villainous #batman #dc comics #cartoon network #self-indulgence #recast #fancast

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grapsandclaps · 6 years

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GRAPS AND CLAPS DOES XMAS GRAPS

Hello again everyone and welcome to another rundown of my weekend of graps which was the eventual reaching of the 100 show marker and even more. It has been a long and arduous journey but thankfully I am there!! This review will include Show 99, 100, 101 & 102 taking me to Preston for 3 shows of PCW and Halifax for BWE Wrestling, so lets get into the highlights, beer and lack of Chicken & Rice in Halifax.

PCW on Friday staged a show at its Academy which is home to some of the best up and comers in the North West with Philip Michael, Rhio, Dave Birch and Sheikh El Sham leading the charge. This show however had a festive feel to it including a Elf on a Shelf Ladder Match, Santa Battle Royal, BIG T’s Naughty list, Mrs Christmas’s revenge and a Christmas deathmatch.

As a show very much played for laughs, PCW got it very on point. BIG Ts Naughty List was a special favourite of mine with him issuing death sentences to a number of PCW Academy luminaries including Freakshow and a guy doing a Baywatch gimmick. These two stuck out especially as they got chopped into orbit by BIG T with the crowd hailing T with the ‘12 Days of BIG T’.

From a wrestling side of things the Elf on a Shelf ladder match was the best of the night with Martin Kirby facing Dave Birch. The purpose of this match was for one of the competitors to climb the ladder and sit a top of it, like the said Elf on a Shelf.

Very good 10 minute match with Birch coming off really well despite him ending up losing when Kirby eventually climbed up the ladder. Birch who is maybe the lesser talked of the 4 mentioned from the Academy has had some good matches on the undercard and does his role well as the angry Preston Jesus.

Similar the 3 way Xmas deathmatch involving James Finn, Philip Michael and PCW Academy original Jack Baron was another good effort. Many Xmas items were used including brussel sprouts (one of which hit our Geoff very hard on his bonce), broken candy cane, BIG TREE JUSTICE and wrapping paper.

James Finn got the surprise win here pinning Jack Baron, which makes a change as Finn is usually the 'Canvasback’ of the Academy in and out of his Arcadian get up.

Main event was T-Bone putting his title on the line vs Sheikh El-Sham who apart from Philip Michael is my hot tip for 2018. He has the looks, can do promos with his pet snake from the local pet shop , also he can do the wrestling side of things as well - keep a watch out for him.

The usual pre match scowling at me passed, it was down to business in a match where T-Bone dominated his young opponent eventually putting him away with a piledriver for the win in 10 minutes. But hopefully look for The Sheikh being around the top of the card next year 👍

Other happenings included Rhio vs Lauren in a Christmas Cracker match, Fludder winning the battle royal and putting his name in the hat for a PCW Title shot and a match which was either the funniest or worst thing I have seen all year when a Naughty Tree faced Jennie B - just Oh Dear 😣

Saturday dinner time’s show took place at Evoque Nightclub and was the first women’s show to grace the venue since the still infamous Pro Wrestling EVE show, which has been referred to in this column on many occasions.

Due to the small crowd of about 50, which was a shame, but I guess it was hit with being one of the last Saturday shopping days and also Xmas parties. So we gravitated from our usual standing position to the more snug surroundings of one of the booths for the first time ever.

With quite a few of the women being first time in front of my eyes, I was intrigued to how it would pan out. Luckily there was some very good things here:

First up was Sierra Loxton who bases her character on a Frozen Princess vs the ever improving Rhio who was due for a PCW Womens title shot in the evening show. Rhio has come on leaps and bounds since her start as Iestyn Rees manager last year where she looked very nervous and didn’t have that presence that a heel manager would have, but this year she has blossomed into a very competent wrestler and it was shown her that her improvement has come on leaps and bounds for which she has to be commended for.

Loxton as well looked very fluid here and it provided a good start to the show with Rhio picking up the win with the faceplant DDT.

Lady Chardonnay who has recently returned from a tour of Japan faced off with Jayde from Bedford. Another good match, Jayde on defence from the attacks of Chardonnay looked good and worked well with the more experienced former Chavette. Don’t be surprised to see these two pop up at more shows in 2018.

Jayla Dark vs Sadie Gibbs was a hard hitting affair. Gibbs who has just recently made her wrestling debut and has had a WWE tryout, looks the part from an initial impression with her well built physique from her Fitness days and athleticism she has the tools to make it big. Dark got the victory here in a good match.

Nightshade vs Lauren was the main event in a Falls Count Anywhere match with the chance to be the next potential contender for the women’s title. This was possibly the best Lauren match you will see, away from her usual opponents Rhio and Jennie B she stopd out more against a good baddie like Nightshade who got the victory in a hard fought match giving Nightshade a shot at the title vs Rhio in the evening show after Greg Lambert stripped Champion Lucy Cole due to the 90 day rule.

In other matches Jennie B beat Molly Spartan and Joker in a bit of a meh affair and Crowd favourite Session Moth beating Nadia Sapphire in comedy filled match as ever with Martina who is a really good character, Sapphire on the other hand - less said the better.

Evening show

Crowd attendance was up from the afternoon show reaching around the 150 marker to see the climax of the PCW year which has been a successful one from a quality standpoint. Starting off was Philip Michael vs Arcadian vs Dave Birch vs Martin Kirby vs Jack Baron in a fast and furious 5 way starter with Philip Michael picking up a much needed win with the fujiwara armbar submission.

Very happy to see Jack Baron back on the shows again, when he first made his debut on the Academy shows him and Jack Garvin (not sure where he went) had a good little tag team going.

After the announcement that The Hooligans were now stripped of the tag team titles due to the 90 day rule again, it was then announced that a tag team tournament for the PCW Tag Straps would take place at the Road 2 Glory show in February. Roy Knight who made an appearance for this announcement was made to face Joe Coffey in a hard hitting match which was won by Knight. After the match Knight was interrupted by PCW antagonist Tel Banham who distracted Knight enough to be attacked by BIG T, luckily for Knight - Joe Coffey regained his bearings to fend off the baddies. Banham and BIG T were soon back to face Joey Hayes and Danny Hope in a match to stake each others claim to the tag belts and it was Banham and BIG T who picked up win after Briefcase Wanker Banham used the assisted briefcase shot for the win.

Banham has been one of the standout characters this year in PCW and has moved in a upwards direction since the awful interaction he had with MVP at the February show which saw record queues at the Evoque bogs it was that bad.

Next up was Nightshade vs Rhio for the PCW Women's Title. Really good match here with the crowd firmly behind Rhio to lift her eventually to victory when she hit the faceplant ddt for the win over the grumpy Nightshade who impressed onlookers as well. This was well deserved for Rhio as she looked overcome with emotion when I spoke with her briefly during the in-ring photos.

Next up was a Submission Match between Cruiserweight Champion Dean Allmark and Chris Ridgeway. Decent match with both guys straying away from the usual high flying offence which you usually can expect from a Deano match and it was Allmark who picked up the surprise victory and now goes into 2018 as champion.

In the other matches before the main event were Sheikh El Sham getting a big win over Ricky Knight Jr with a Spear. Also Martinas Christmas party that turned into another match , this was very much 'was what it was' 😦. Main event was T-Bone vs Bubblegum for the PCW Championship with the stipulation of if Bubblegum didn't win he wouldn't get another shot whilst Bone was still Champion. Sadly this match even though good for the duration ended abruptly due to Bubblegum's troublesome back striking again and he fell to the 1-2-3 which was a shame for an audience expectant for a title win finally for Bubblegum.

The huge announcement of the evening though was the big news about an entrant into the Road 2 Glory tournament in February with the chimes of Dschingis Khan ringing around Evoque - The big return of UHAA NATION to Preston and Fludders Spare Room was met with a great reaction from the arm waving right hand booth section of Evoque.

Overall PCW put on a great variety of shows for the 2 days and ends a good year for the promotion. Maybe search out the Rhio title win and Ridgeway vs Allmark submission match on demand and if you haven't already I suggest you purchase your tickets for the February Road 2 Glory shows.

Sunday took me to Halifax at the North Bridge Leisure Centre for BWE Wrestling Christmas Carnage with the promise of Chicken Curry and Rice on offer being an arm twister for going but to no avail as we were left with bags of 50p Seabrook crisps and £1.50 cans of coke 😢 Only 5 matches on this show but still a hefty 2 and a bit hours run time.

First up was Swagzilla Sean Kustom from the sunny climbs of Australia vs 'The Bombay Badboy', 'Your Weekly Fix of Bombay Mix' from the grey skies of Bratfurd - Amir Jordan in a Santas Submission match. Jordan was over like rover with the Halifax crowd, dad dancing was arife once again and got him instantly over. In a good 10 minute match Jordan got the camel clutch submission victory to the delight of the crowd. Amir is someone who could have a very good 2018 thanks to this and his recent Progress debut.

Womens action next with Amarah 'The Voodoo Queen' vs BWE Bombshells Champion Little Miss Roxxy. Most of this match involved Roxxy running away from the scary Amarah but she eventually got the upper hand and won 'but not so easily'.

Third match was Tel Banham vs Former OVW Champion Chris Silvio in a Turkey Suit match. Lots of interaction was had here between Banham and the Tidal Wrestling NANA from the other week who delivered a swift right hook that Anthony Joshua would be proud of to Tel. She also got involved later on during the main event trying to hide and stop Sean Only from using a bat - she has been a highlight on these undergraps shows for getting involved and the wrestlers play up to.

This match was worked around Banham chop blocking an already injured Silvio, but it was Silvio who soon regained his bearings to fell Banham to defeat and with Turkey suit in hand it was time for Turkey Tel to come to life. Very good fun match this and Silvio proved his popularity with a decent sized queue for pictures at half time.

After the break which involved BIG T telling some little scamps to leave the ring, it was 'AND' John McGregor w/Sexy Kev vs Bas Ban w/Rory Coyle - the latter of which was giving Spike Trivets mate from last week - Ben jip about the spitting incident. Alright sub 8 minute match with McGregor trying to down his larger opponent, but due to distractions from the outside it was Bas Ban who hit a giant tackle for the win and it looks like now that the Sons of Ulaid now have a BWE Tag Title shot.

Main event was a 6-way gauntlet match starting off with Sean Only with previously said 'bat' sending Sexy Kev and Big T packing before the arrival of Liam Slater who pulled off one of the best good guy showings I have seen in ages, he came through Only, El Ligero and eventually Champion HT Drake to end what we thought was a fantastic 20 minute match. That was until GM Dan James swerved Slater into defending his title vs a 7th contender - Tel Banham. The already knackered Slater fell to the USHI-GO-RUSHI from Banham to lose the strap to the jeers of the crowd, Chris Silvio then rushed in to send James and Banham scarpering to the back whilst also asking for a future shot at the title.

All I could think of after this match was how has Liam Slater gone missing from the general scene. I know he has been doing NGW and WCPW, but for the life of me he could easily fit into many promotions in the UK. BWE pulled off a very good Sunday afternoons entertainment for a tenner despite the lack of hot buffet, I certainly wouldn't put you off one going one of their shows.

Food & Drink: Hogarths Preston - Festive Reindeer Ale which tasted like a Reindeer had shat in it, not nice. The Guild Ale House - 5% White Stout and another light ale were had here, both in the £2.90 a pint range. This is maybe the best real ale outlet in Preston and now has a new upstairs room to move away from the usually packed front of house.

The Twelve Tellers Preston - 2 pints of Saltaire Brewery at a cost of £2.29 and a special offer of £4.99 Lamb Rogan Josh were the order of the day and I have got to say the curry passed with flying colours. Evoque - £3 for Coke and £4.30 for Tyskie, usual standard fare.

The Pump Room Halifax - Pint of 5% Scottish Stout at a cost of £3.40, also the barman lighting a new candle due to a public fingering the previous night that put paid to another candle.

Percy Shaw Halifax - Standard Spoons with a great view of the rolling Yorkshire hills, Pint of 6% Wobbly Bob was had here at a cost of £2.29 - good pint.

Alexandra Beer Cafe Halifax - half a pint of 7% Northern Monk Blueberry Stout at a cost of £2.40 was a welcome addition to the tastebuds after the overpriced £1.50 a can of coke at the wrestling.

Last but not least is a new addition to the Halifax beer and music scene - The Lantern which has a good range of craft ale on offer and by the looks of it all under £4 a pint. I had half of the Tiny Rebel Blackberry and Marshmallow stout which was a treat - £1.90 a half.

Chants of the Weekend "SEXY SEXY KEV SEXY KEV SEXY SEXY KEV NO JON"!!

"PURPLE HAIR PURPLE HAIR ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU WRESTLING WITH YOUR PURPLE HAIR"

"LAMPSHADE LAMPSHADE"

"MESS HIM UP NANA MESS HIM UP"

"ROXXY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN SO EASILY"

"SHEIKH EL SHAMBLES"!!

So that is that till the 28th December and Futureshock Wrestling in Prestwich for the next review. But that won't be the last time you will be hearing from me as my dulcet tones will be featuring on The Indy Corner's Year End Show soon with a minute and a half bit on my favourite show of the year. Which for someone who has only started these reviews in March this year, I am really chuffed about even though it is only a small thing #grapsandclaps.

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