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rinniessance · 5 months

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WELCOME TO TOXIC LOVER FM

hello there. yes, yes, you. tell me, are you feeling

L̻͓̿͗͐͟ O̫͗͒ N̸̓ Ĕ̷̴͍͢ L̦͆͘ Ỳ̺͕̗̘͒ͨ ?

you look tired of all this

ₗₒₙₑₗᵢₙₑₛₛ

why don't you go back to that person you swore you'd never see again? or send that text you've been typing and erasing for the past half an hour? or better, go and make them see you're the only one for them? and tune in to our TOXIC LOVER FM while you do it - after all, worst decisions need the best soundtrack.

WARNING - THIS STATION IS ONLY INTENDED FOR LISTENERS FOR 18 AND ABOVE

01. KILL BILL (FT. CHOSO)

꒰ you thought he really loved you, after all, didn’t you give him your all? choso kamo has a lot of nerve to leave you for another girl. you’ll just have to show him why you are his only one. ꒱ - nsfw - dark content. non-curse au, yandere!reader, dub-con, coercion, pegging

02. YOU RIGHT (FT. SUKUNA RYOMEN)

unlike your sweet boyfriend, yuuji itadori, his twin brother is personification of evil. when sukuna tries to seduce you pretending to be your partner, you see right through him - he didn't even attempt to do a good job. then if you know it's not yuuji, why are you leaning closer for a kiss? - non-curse au

03. MIND GAMES (FT. OSAMU DAZAI)

osamu dazai hates the idea of soulmates - why does he have to wait for the perfect partner when you’ve captured his heart, mind and soul? he just needs you to see you’re the one for him too. - soulmates au, yandere!dazai

04. ONE OF THE GIRLS (FT. SUGURU GETO)

when you bought tickets to see your favorite musician, suguru geto, the last thing you expected is to be called backstage. you would do anything for your personal god, right? - rockstar au

05. BREAK UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND, I'M BORED (FT. ITOSHI RIN)

he's famous, he's tall, he's rich, and he's so handsome. and that pretty little thing on his arm that calls herself his girlfriend will not stop you from tasting the flavor that is rin itoshi. - professional athlete rin

06. I WAS NEVER THERE (FT. KISHIBE)

he is not just a politician - kishibe is a family man, your every day citizen, neighbour and a friend. then why is he knuckles deep inside your pissy in the backseat of his Porsche? - no devils au, politician!kishibe

07. I FUCKING LUST YOU (FT. OLIVER AIKU)

what you and oliver have is a matter of convenience, neither of you want it to be anything more than that. yet seeing him with another woman drives you insane - college au

08. DADDY ISSUES (FT. TOJI FUSHIGURO)

you remember the very first time toji fushiguro walked through the doors of the brothel - all broad shoulders, handsome face and one hell of a cock, as it turns out. what you didn’t expect is to break the first rule of your job - don’t fall in love with your clients.

09. TEENAGE FEVER (FT. MEGUMI FUSHIGURO)

you know that your best friend is hopelessly in love with you, fact you've known since you were 16. you should have let him go instead of keeping him on a short leash for the nights when you feel especially alone. - no curses au

10. WOO (FT. SATORU GOJO)

it's taken him two years to stop dreaming about you, two more to find himself again and someone else to love, and on a fifth, he finally got engaged. satoru gojo thought that he is finally over the black hole that is you. his heart thinks otherwise when it shatters to pieces when he sees you at his own engagement party. - no curses au

TUNING OUT . . . UNTIL NEXT TIME

#꒰ྀི penned by ange ꒱ྀི #꒰ྀི toxic lover fm ꒱ྀི #another series no one asked for!

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stevebabey · 1 year

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part one here. ze part two to touch-starved stevie that absolutely no one requested hehe <3 but i gots to let my boys have a wee kiss :")

So, hugs with Eddie become… well, a thing.

Not a thing. They’re not a thing, Steve and Eddie. It’s totally the same as when he gets hugs from Robin. Eddie’s doing him a favour as a friend. It’s got the 100% platonic energy of getting a hug from a friend — a hug that usually melts into some form of a cuddle, limbs all tangled together until they can’t tell whose are whose.

Except, Steve doesn’t really do that second part with Robin. Like he hasn’t done it ever with Robin.

So, it’s an Eddie thing.

But they’re not a thing. Not matter how much Steve would actually very much like for that happen. Okay, maybe Steve’s overthinking the whole thing a bit, but he just can’t tell.

Where’s the line? It’s infuriating not being able to discern between platonic and more, just because Steve wasn’t held enough as a fucking baby. Out of all the things he resents his parents for, Steve’s surprised that this is so near the top.

Because, sure, Steve’s had more than his fair share of hookups. He knows that sort of touch. He knows the shape of lust; the scrapes of fingernails down backs, the tight grips over skin, the push and pull of the heat of the moment.

And this thing with Eddie… is not that.

So, really, Steve knows that it’s all friendly. Eddie is just being nice. He’s being a decent dude and helping his friend out — by catapulting himself into Steve’s arms at every opportune moment.

(Steve’s only dropped 3 mugs of coffee because of this so far. It’s only because Eddie says good catch, big boy with a devilish grin every time that Steve manages to catch Eddie that Steve hasn’t completely told him to knock it off. Just yet, at least.)

And he’s different in other areas. He’ll always seem to choose the seat next to Steve on movie-nights now, content to snuggle right up to him. They get thigh to thigh, arm to arm — and Eddie only needs to get about 20 minutes in for him to do a big sigh, like an old dog, and slump over, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve notices though. He always notices.

It’s impossible not to— the skin, even if there’s 3 layers between them, burns blazing warm. Eddie’s hair drapes over his arm, a curl inevitably tickling along Steve’s collar. He can feel the rise and fall of Eddie’s breathing, the little shake of when he laughs.

It drives Steve a little insane— insane in the way that makes him think about burying his fingers in those curls again, about pressing his lips against Eddie’s pretty mouth just to feel the smile against his skin, about digging into his chest so he can climb into his chest and live there.

Yeah, it’s— well, it’s safe to say that the effect of Eddie’s touchiness has sent what was once a fleeting thought of a crush into mind-melting levels of affection.

But he can’t fucking tell.

To Steve’s credit, neither can Eddie.

Which is not surprisingly considering sometimes he catches himself wondering how the hell he ended up here; in a close-knit friendship with band-geek Robin Buckley, princess Nancy Wheeler, and King Steve Harrington.

Okay, the Robin one sort of makes sense. He thinks that if no matter when their paths crossed, he and Robin would’ve always even some sort of strange friends - her snark complimenting his bitchiness. Also, the whole super queer thing helps too. Even the friendship with Nancy works, in its own weird way.

Steve though? He’s the fucking curve ball.

It works though, the two of them. Surprisingly well, actually — the two of them get on like a house on fire, bitchy quips back and forth. Even better, is the quiet that they can share. Steve loves to come around and do… nothing. Do nothing with Eddie, though.

So, even though Eddie had noticed the tension in Steve with touch, little moments where he turned rigid when Eddie’s usual wandering hands got too comfortable — Eddie chalked it up to the usual. Guys bring too uncomfortable with him, too weird about another guy being touchy. It didn’t matter than Eddie wasn’t even out to Steve yet, he was still might be that type of guy.

Well, Eddie had certainly thought so. Sure, Steve might not be one of those jocks who smacked around boys who looked too long in the locker room, but if he knew a smidge of the truth, who really knows. It would explain the tenseness at least.

But then— ‘Can I… have a hug?’ There had been a dozen things Eddie was thinking that Steve could’ve asked for but that? Wasn’t even in the ballpark. It was so left-field it left Eddie speechless for a whole moment. And Steve had been staring at the ceiling, his hands curled up tight again like- like he thought Eddie might say no.

A ridiculous thought, honestly. Anyone who knew Eddie well enough knew he was touchy; loved giving it, loved getting it. Like an overly affectionate cat, Wayne had once called him, just 11 years old, because Eddie’s need for affection seem to never be sated.

After that night, Steve’s lack of touch became far more obvious. It’s always hair ruffles or high-fives, yet never hugs. Normally, Eddie would keep to that boundary; some people are less touchy other than others, he knows that.

But… “Sometimes I realise it’s been awhile, since I’ve had some touch.” That’s what Steve had said, his words. Eddie doesn’t even think he meant to say something so heartbreaking. In fact, the guy seemed embarrassed.

It had thrown Eddie for a loop— because Steve gets around. He’s nearly notorious for one-night stands and failed flings, as Robin loves to drone on about considering she’s subjected to all the flirting. What had originally been a point of envy for Eddie, just saturates the bleakness of Steve’s words. Sex but without a moment of intimacy.

So, while Eddie is miles away from being the person who gets into Steve’s pants — not for lack of want, mind you — he does try hike up the touchiness. Little things. Lingering when he taps him on the arm, hooking his chin over Steve’s shoulder to peer over it, leaning up against him when they’re side by side watching a film.

It’s good. It helps Eddie release the pressure of his stupid monumental god-awful crush he has. Yeah, yeah, it’s laughable, even to Eddie. It’s like Gay 101; don’t get crush on straight dudes, especially the ones you’re friends with. And yet…

Steve lets him. He lets Eddie give him touch, more than he lets anyone else. He still tenses; there’s still always a moment before he can remember to relax, like he’s trying to shake off bad thoughts but then he melts. He always melts into Eddie’s touch eventually — in a way Eddie knows Steve actually loves it, drinks it up as much as he can.

And maybe, Eddie is the biggest fool to grace the Earth to let that fact give him some hope. Sue his gooey heart, he’s a romantic. It’s a quiet hope but, it’s there.

Tonight, it seems relaxing for Steve is been harder than usual— several times has Eddie traced a quite long along Steve’s arms, a subtle point that they were far too tense for someone who was wrapped up in cuddles on the couch. ‘Cos that’s 100% what they are now. Eddie will still call them hugs, but usually, when it’s just the two of them, it becomes this.

Steve, tucked up into the corner of the couch, one leg flush along the back of the couch and one hanging off the edge. It’s the prime position for Eddie to crawl up, wind his arms around Steve’s middle and give him a good squeeze and then settle there. Head on Steve’s chest, lying in the cradle of his hips. Safe. Warm.

It makes him warm, oh very warm to know that he gets this. That Steve doesn’t give this amount of trust to many, if any, other people but Eddie — he trusts Eddie.

“Y’know,” Eddie says, cheeks smushed against the plain of Steve’s pec. It feels deliciously warm and Eddie’s fairly sure he can feel how toned it is just through his cheek. Hot bastard. “I’m actually real glad you asked for that hug all those weeks ago.”

He leaves it there ‘cos he knows Steve will ask. Eddie’s eyes stay on the buzzing tv-screen even as Steve’s head shifts, turning to peer down at the boy slumped on his chest. Eddie’s pretty sure he can see Steve’s mouth twitch up into a smile.

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Eddie affirms, giving a nod and his eyes flick up to meet Steve’s for just a moment. “Think I’ve had some of the best hugs in the world.”

Okay, that was maybe more honest and sappy than Eddie was going for. He is just letting Steve know he isn’t just doing it for Steve — that he enjoys these moments just as much. He lays it on thick, tries for a smarmy angle.

“Swept up in these pillowy arms?” He croons, giving Steve’s bicep a quick squeeze, making the other chuckle softly. “Who wouldn’t think so? I’m a lucky guy.”

Despite the joking tone, there’s no quick comeback from Steve. That’s alright. Eddie’s quite happy if this is one of the times Steve just takes the compliment; let’s the word sink in and hopefully, believes them, even if it’s just a little bit. He watches the film and doesn’t read into the silence.

Not even when Steve says, “Eddie?” all soft. Nearly shy sounding. It doesn’t quite register to Eddie’s ears.

“Mm?”

“Eddie.” Steve says again, a little firmer and that catches Eddie’s attention. He turns his head and rests his chin on Steve’s chest, his brows drawn together in silent question.

But the moment he makes eye contact, Steve’s doing that scrunched up face again. Is studying the ceiling instead of facing Eddie. And just like all those weeks ago, his hands clench up tight. Twists up the fabric of Eddie’s sweater in between his fingers and uses it to ground himself.

Last time, he asked for a hug. Considering he’s currently just about squishing Steve beneath his body weight, Eddie can’t fathom what he might be worked up to ask for. Unless he was going to ask for something more than a hug— which, well, just wasn’t going to happen, even if Eddie really wanted it to.

“Can I-” Steve starts. He sucks in a breath, almost like he’s gathering courage. But he’s not, because he’s not about to ask for what Eddie hopes for, he’s not, he’s—

Unless…?

“Can I… have a kiss?” Steve asks, barely audible. The sentence is murmured, soft words that hit Eddie like a gentle kiss in itself — imprinting right onto his heart. Steve Harrington wants a kiss — from him!

“Oh.” Eddie says, in a breathy delightful way. He’s fairly certain the little monkey in his brain is clapping its cymbals at double-speed as the words process; or maybe it’s his heart, which feels like it’s leapt up his throat.

“Oh?” Steve echoes, a smile already playing at the edges of his mouth, because he can see Eddie’s want. Because he knows him.

“Yes.” Eddie says suddenly, with a frantic nod, pushing up closer so their faces are aligned. “Yes, absolutely, you can.” He affirms.

Steve huffs a quiet laugh at the eagerness and then his arm that had been slung around Eddie shifts. It moves up til his hand caresses along the line of Eddie’s jaw, tilting him just how he likes.

Eddie holds his breath. Counts the freckles he can see this close. Tries to feel Steve’s heartbeat through where they’re pressed so closely together; can Steve feel his? Thundering and hurried, beating so hard Eddie thinks he might bruise the inside of his ribs.

Then Steve kisses him. And shit, Steve’s lip are better by ten-fold than every daydream Eddie’s ever had about them. They’re warm and so soft — plush and pressing against his own and Eddie is freezing. Fuck, wait, how does this go again? Right, Eddie’s never… well, kissed anybody before.

Steve pulls back and Eddie screws his eyes up — not ready in the slightest for the disappointment of his own shoddy kissing skills. Fuck, did he really just freeze? Steve — Steve Harrington — asks for a kiss and Eddie decides to stab himself in the back by not figuring out how to fuck to kiss back.

“You call that a kiss?” Steve teases and Eddie’s well aware of the parallel — of the irony of Steve repeating his own words back at him. But he can’t make himself laugh even though it’s funny. Instead, a little groan wiggles out his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, earnest. He forces his eyes opens — he needs to see what’s Steve’s thinking. Where he’s expecting disappointment or perhaps regret, is only patience. Maybe a touch of concern. Eddie continues, despite the humiliation that makes his throat sticky.

“I haven’t- I don’t do this often.” He coughs awkwardly clearing his throat and hoping it hides the next word. “Ever.”

There’s a jump in Steve’s eyebrows, a moment of surprise in his eyes that lets him know he did, indeed, hear that final word. It makes Eddie feel… well, it’s nice that Steve had expected him to have been kissed by now. Even if he hasn’t. He tries to take it as a compliment.

“That’s okay,” Steve assures. Absentmindedly, his thumb rubs soothing along Eddie’s jaw. It makes Eddie shiver, some outrageous amount of joy clawing into every nerve. Steve likes Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie.

“Do you want to try again?”

Eddie nods before the questions even out of his mouth. Steve smiles, all sunshine. This time when he draws Eddie in, he notices the way Eddie holds his breath — the rigidness in his body.

Steve kisses him again, another short and soft one and then whispers against his lips, “Relax.”

‘Cos isn’t tonight just full of the parallels, Eddie thinks. He listens, tries to focus on how sweet Steve’s kiss is than his panicky heart, forcing out a breath between the kisses. His hands along Steve’s sides find a grip, grounding and good, and by the fourth kiss, he begins to feel a bit melty.

It’s good. It’s really good. Kissing Steve is top 5– nay, the top moment of his life so far. Somehow, it’s made all that much better knowing the build-up behind it. Knowing that Steve knows he isn’t just kissing him for a heat of the moment — that Eddie wants kisses here, kisses before bed, in the morning, on dates. Eddie wants Steve.

And with the way he kisses, Eddie’s pretty sure Steve wants him just as bad.

It doesn’t take long for Steve to reach what Eddie decides is an ultra pretty fuckin’ state; lips swollen from kisses, cheeks flushed, hair a little mussed up. He bets he looks no better. The thought makes him grin, enough they have to break the kiss ‘cos Eddie can’t stop his stupid happy grin ‘cos shit— he actually gets to have this Steve.

“What?” Steve asks, somehow half heart-eyed and half suspicious at the mischief in Eddie’s eyes.

“Can I... have a hickie?”

now with a part three !

#at this point call this the 'can i' series #sweet boys asking each other for things they most certainly would be given <3 #but don't think they will <3 #tried to flip it and make it so even tho eddie is used to touch. the romantic touch? he's got none! that's where he's touch-starved #ALSO EVERYONE'S TAGS WERE SO NICE ON THE LAST ONE #trust i am. not feelin so bad nowadays (me saying this like 4 days later lmao)#but <3 thank u all #gay ppl in my phone.... you know what to do #ruby writes steddie #steve x eddie #steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #touch-starved steve harrington #not rlly anymore hehe #does anyone notice that it ends with yet another 'can i?" question? HEHE #yet again stib gets kisses where ruby doesn't but alas <3 dis is way fluffier this time #nearly went the angst route! and went hmmmm naur #ok ok i'll be quiet now

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fluffyartbl0g · 11 months

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FIN. thats a wrap guys!

START | PREVIOUS

Speedrun/Timetravel AU masterlist

#one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #time travel au #speedrun au #bon clay #hahaha i hope that doesnt seem like 2 abrupt of a finish #you’ll get to see what vivi asked bon to do in one of the next installments of the series (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*#not the very next one though. im prolly gonna do usopp or somthin 4 the next one #welp no more daily updates peace guys i hope u had a fun ride #well… until i get another idea for a cover story that is XD

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steviesbicrisis · 11 months

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Eddie Munson who gets his Lizzie McGuire moment by going to Rome with an university art program.

The only requirement is to visit museums regularly and redraw the art pieces in his style and submit his work by the end of it.

What seems to be a piece of cake for Eddie, gets a lot more complicated when the average Italian museum worker is met with his peculiar drawings style -which might include evil dragons and decapitated heads in some of Caravaggio’s Still Lives and, in worst cases, some additions to Christian art pieces that have been described as “blasphemy” as he was getting escorted out and banned from the Vatican’s Museums (and maybe the whole country, Eddie still doesn’t know so he avoids that part of the city just to be safe).

And Eddie, who will never compromise his work integrity for a few Italian bigots, ends up in one of the least known and visited museums of the city. Which still, by his standards, contains fine art he can work on.

And if this particular museum, which is one hour and a half of public transport from his house, has a really hot security guard who follows him closely and barks at every tourist that tries to take a picture of his drawings, he surely won’t complain.

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elssbethtascioni · 5 months

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THE DURRELLS - 1x01

#the durrells #the durrells in corfu #tvedit #tvarchive #smallscreensource #perioddramaedit #periodedit #cinemapix #photopeablr #usermorna #*#i'm not gonna start another every ep series bc i never even finished my awae one #but just know in my mind i am #i always forget this show when ppl ask my faves but it's literally so high up there

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ask-morpho-knight · 15 days

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Dream Eater!

If it’s not any trouble, do you mind telling us how you met your partner, Meta?

//I found your blog when I gained an interest in Morpho. Love your interp of them! ^^

Also thank you! <:

#morpho knight #meta knight #meta-knights #javelin knight #mace knight #axe knight #trident knight #biospark #captain vul #kirby #kirby series #fluttering dream eater #gethoce #there is another ask that was about this but also another thing so I am answering this one first and linking it when I get to the other.

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poomphuripan · 21 hours

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Why must you be a virgin? If my 'first time' is with you, Ming. I wouldn't mind it.

MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.01

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thatonefandomjumper · 6 months

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Once again I am expressing how much I hate the punching line gag.

Leo, a character that's been canonically abused his whole life and struggles with major self worth issues, who'd died to save the world and has spent the last few months in the company of a person that treats him like dirt, finally comes back to the one place he felt a smidge of comfort an safety in after years of instability and hardships, and what greets him...?

A guy so mad that he didn't discuss his suicide with him first (despite him properly coming up with the plan after said guy had left the Argo) that he organizes everyone in the camp to line up and hit him, even people he doesn't know.

And he has no choice but to just laugh it off, because it's clear that no one has any sympathy for him. And Leo realizes this place rejected him too.

#Nico. Buddy. I love you. But that was like. Your least finest moment.#Like bro #Did you not see how unreasonable you were being???#Every single character in the entire series made Leo's death about themselves. Not one of them took a moment to ask how it effected him.#Honestly it was to the point of being ridiculous.#And your telling me CAMP JUPITER did it too!?!? The place where he knows barely anyone.#Hazel and Frank HELPED HIM with his plan. They should have been the two people MOST SIMPETHETIC AND REGRETFUL TOWARDS HIM.#But no. Instead there's another punching line of people that Leo doesn't know and probobly want him dead after the eidolon attack.#leo valdez #nico di angelo #hoo #pjo #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #the hidden oracle #anti caleo

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alienssstufff · 8 months

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Can I have some impdubs in this trying time?

using this as excuse to talk abt my au again >w<

the fellas during the childhood years of the Last Life Apocalypse au ie the 3rd Life arc of the timeline. 3L in this au takes place round primary school and that season is instead one giant game of pretend (after 3-pretend-lives are gone you CANNOT play the game anymore). this the part where Impulse gives Bdubs a watch and asks to be his pretend-secret-girlfriend... -w- and ever since then Impulse kept this crush all the way through to current day in the Last Life Apocalypse

#ask stufff #stufffsart #last life apocalypse au #bdubs #impulsesv #impdubs #last life smp #3rd life smp #trafficblr #life series #NOTE- i dont do requests but this ones mainly for me ok #theres meant to be a mini comic with this but im eepy i snzzzz another time

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moonpaw · 9 months

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Fighting DEMONS rn trying not to get invested in one piece to figure out wtf you're posting about!!!!

come here cyber.... we have this thang

‎

#mp answers #i've been trying so hard not to be annoying to my bnha friends but if you will allow me to push this for this ask let me say 🙏#if you're afraid of the episode count for one piece the manga is a lot quicker read while being just as enjoyable because the art style is #an actual delight. its great its fantastic im absolutely in love with it #the series is soooo good and i know luffy can seem unappealing to people before they start but he's just SUCH a great character & continues #to be even now. the story is SO GOOD the characters are SO GOOD... theres so much lore and world building that its insane #if you read the manga we get 'cover stories' on what's going on with previous characters to see what theyre up to even though we moved on #from where we left them. a lot of these cover stories blend into the main story so well its just seamless #there's one where we get introduced to a character we dont see hundreds of episodes into the anime and they show up like; during the second #saga. the series is about traveling to other islands and every single arc has been tied to another in some way or form that shows up later #even if its sagas and sagas later- it still becomes relevant again!! it's a huge ongoing story and there isnt a single arc that feels like #it has no purpose (sans filler in the anime-but even then!! some filler arcs are really entertaining!)#it's emotional! its sad! its downright stupid and silly but GOD... you can feel the love that oda put into this series and his characters #and the emotions in the expressions and the messages the story gives off it just makes me UEUHGHHAHGHH!!!#it's all about the adventure and the romance of it all! its about the freedom it brings and bringing freedom to others!#its a series where treasure should be a focus given its pirates and the its a giant treasure hunt for the one piece and yet! and yet so man #of the characters treasures are things that are not coins and gems but people and promises and family and and #im going to EXPLODE i love one piece

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todayisafridaynight · 9 months

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old man yaoi sketch commission........

Commission Info

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #tf their ship name. idk if someone tells me ill update the tags #koichi adachi #makoto date #snap sketches #commission #OLD MAN YAOI COMMISSION 🗣️🗣️🗣️#my life's in shambles rn but that's ok i get to draw date and adachi #this one especially goes out to the people who kept sending me adach|wag| asks #cause i think its really funny i kept getting sent asks about that but actually got a com for date/adachi ☠️☠️#anyway yeah i AM posting this. esp since commissioner wanted to share it around #i need to let the people know i will draw your saucy old man yaoi And More...#ok bye im gonna post another comm in like. ten minutes LMAO

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mrghostrat · 2 months

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Ur probably getting a ton of these questions so I’m sorry if I’m being annoying but…

I’m really into “and they were streamers” and I’m DYING. Any idea when the next chapter will be posted, or if it even will be posted?

it will be!! don't worry, it's not abandoned!! i've just got more muse for BNF at the moment so writing that is coming easier now that the house move isn't taking over my entire brain. thank u so much for being patient, i know how eager everyone is for the streamer fic so i haven't forgotten you 😭🙏

#ask a rat #ineffable streamers #only reason i feel ok with focusing on one fic over another is because i DID WARN U at the start #that it might be a slow updating series #(yes i know i then immediately updated like 3 times a week but I CAN STILL RELY ON THE SAME DISCLAIMER RIGHT)

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raayllum · 9 months

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Anyway I wanna talk about hands in Finnegrin’s Wake

This is not my last or even my deepest meta dive on the episode by any means but I’m a bitch who appreciates consistent symbolism and the Hand Motif is on fire this episode so like, let’s talk about it.

The first thing to establish is the (understandable) importance of hands in Callum’s mage arc, given that you draw runes with your hands and hold magical objects, etc. This is in line with primal magic yes

but also with dark magic, highlighted explicitly in S4.

By being tied to primal / Sky magic, Callum’s hands (and ability to use them to help his friends, do magic, etc) is tied to freedom. This is also linked to chains/bondage with Rayla’s wrist binding and dark magic, metaphorically, for Callum. So it makes sense that 5x08, an episode that is very much about primal and dark magic and subsequent themes of freedom vs control is likewise obsessed with this hand motif.

However, I want to talk about Rayla, and Callum, and how the hand motif, dark magic use, and Callum’s connection to the Ocean arcanum are set up this season. Briefly on the last one (that can be a meta on its own I want to dive into, pun intended, in tandem with adding S4′s development to it) because post for another day, but I think it’s worthwhile to mention.

For starters, there’s Finnegrin having a direct callback to Callum’s line from 5x04 with Rayla (which is also being paralleled to Viren and Claudia’s “I’ll do anything” in 5x03 an episode prior). And with Callum’s hand clasped over his wrist, foreshadowing the ‘anything’ he’ll do will be to literally undo his chains (and to metaphorically take some on) in order to save Rayla by the end of the episode.

But we see Callum repeat this “wrist rubbing” motion a few times this episode (pin in it for later) in addition to the repeated emphasis in S5 with Callum always being the one to reach for / take Rayla’s hand. Although she and Callum are undoubtedly in a much better place than they were in S4 in repairing their relationship, Rayla still initiates almost zero contact with him across the course of S4 and S5 (grabbing his elbow and wiping his drool away when he’s asleep in 4x03; placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder in 4x09; resting her head on his shoulder in 5x02; touching his face in 5x08 to provide comfort).

This is a far cry from how touchy-feely she is with him in Arc 1, initiating much more contact than he does, but in S4 and S5 we see this switch around; almost anytime they’re being physically affectionate, Callum is the one initiating.

However, one thing hasn’t changed, and it’s that Callum is almost always the one, across seasons, to initiate handholds (3x01 and the back half of S3 once they’re a couple being the exceptions). And S4 (4x09) and S5 are no exception.

Okay, great, he holds her hand. So what? Well...

In 5x08, Callum does dark magic again outright and connects to the Ocean arcanum primarily out of love for her. As confirmed by the writers on twitter, Callum had to accept exactly what he says in 5x08 about the ocean - that it’s about unfathomable depths, embracing the unknown (even or especially when it scares you) and accepting that there are things you can’t control. And the lack of answers about Rayla’s whereabouts, “I don’t know how to feel about Rayla either,” and “I have to go after him” “I know” helped pave the way for Callum to reach those conclusions in 5x01 and 5x08 alike: “To love is to simply know this: the tides are true as the ocean is deep.” And that realization included accepting that he’d done dark magic (and would do dark magic) to protect her.

So it’s not surprising, therefore, that while connecting to the Ocean arcanum, Callum looks at his hand, and rubs the same wrist as before, almost like he’s mimicking the crushing motion he would’ve done with the slug.

Or indeed that it’s a gesture Viren does in his dark magic induced dreams, and during Callum’s arcanum speech, either, if inversed.

Callum is accepting that the depths he can’t see, his “I would do anything for you” promises and inclinations, are a (dark) path he can’t entirely see and understand, but something he knows lives inside him, and has for a long time: “But not everything’s changed.”

Darkness equals dark magic equals chains, and Callum has enough self awareness (that Viren did not) to know more so of what he’s walking into, and that’s precisely why it scares him. Why, by the end of 5x08, even as it’s revealed how he got his chains off, it’s clear they’re not gone. Not really. Not to him. Especially considering now he knows exactly where dark magic leads in ways he didn’t before in 2x07: Aaravos. (“As long as we protect each other, as long as we love each other, you can never control us” and now Callum knows that isn’t necessarily true, because he gave up the info to Finnegrin, and he willingly took another step down a dangerous path.)

Which is why I love that Rayla is the one to reach for him, to gently touch his shoulder and then his face and pull him into a hug. And I love the way Callum hesitates to place his hands - powerful, ‘tainted,’ chained - around her like another link in said chain, so different and yet so similar from their hug in 2x04 about a lack of magic, and now having arguably too much. And all of it - the dark magic use, the metaphorical and literal chains, the devotional key of the Ocean arcanum, the hands - synonymous with his love for Rayla.

#tdp callum #tdp #rayllum #tdp meta #the dragon prince #hand motif #callum #multi #s5 #5x08 #could do a whole thing on elmer and how he thematically connects to the possession plot line but again #meta for another day <3 #analysis series #tdp spoilers #s5 spoilers #analysis #yes i Did hurt my own feelings writing this one thank you for asking #the fact i stayed so on topic for this one is Truly Incredible i think #i would do anything for you

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