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#and tofu
someweirdoreblogger · 10 months
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Buddha sharing buddhist culture with his lover.
Brain rot time, that's all folks.
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111thfloor · 2 years
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all my favourite things to eat that keep me excited about eating healthy are so expensive,,,,,,dates,,,greek yogurt,,,,oat milk,,,,nuts,,,,,sunflower seeds,,,,salmon,,,,,,that’s like a million dollars already 
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raizeprime · 3 months
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IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING
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merukins · 1 year
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jinkicake · 11 months
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Spring Is In The Air~
Something happens to them when the seasons change. 
Itto, Tighnari, Yae Miko, Zhongli x Reader
A/N: I wrote this like two months ago and never posted it... I’ve always wanted to try writing something like this so here is my pathetic attempt! It’s corny BUT, smutty!!! :-)
WC - 2,224
NSFWWWW // SMUTTYYY
~~~
ITTO
Itto is not subtle. Try as he might, the poor oni cannot learn the art of subtlety. His reactions always give him away to you within seconds. 
His struggle can currently be seen in the way he braces himself against the counter but still attempts to stand up straight to play it off. 
“Hey,” He sounds breathless, almost as if it is hard for him to breathe. You know he’s going to break any moment now, you can see it as his chest begins to rapidly rise and fall. His breathing quickens and all you can do is stare at his expanding chest. “I need you.”
Itto breaks every spring and putting him back together is your favorite part.
“Fuck me, fuck me!” Itto groans loudly and the sounds, one after another, fly off of the walls. He’s absolutely losing himself as you bounce on his lap, up and down while your thighs pound against his own. The pace is fast, quick, and your knees are not able to handle it alone. It’s entirely him, Itto uses the strength in his muscular arms to toss you around on his lap. His tongue hangs out of his mouth, eyes squeezed together shut all while both of your hands are wrapped around his throat. “Yes, yes, yes,” It’s almost pathetic, the way he is singing your praise and grinds down onto the mattress. He can’t get enough of the feeling, of it all. 
Itto is loud in everything that he does and he never shies away from expressing his desires. 
“I’m gonna cum so fucking hard,” He sounds entirely desperate, almost as if he is about to break into tears. You squeeze your thighs together and watch his every reaction as you clamp around him. His reaction is almost imminent. Itto’s hands on your waist squeeze you tightly as his bare nails dig into your skin as he cums with a drawn-out groan. The oni chases his high without stopping, still wildly thrusting up into you just as before. His pace then grows slower, impossibly slow as he slams into you a handful of times. There’s something final about this but, you know better. 
This is just the beginning. It takes hours to satisfy Itto, especially during the spring. 
You don’t even have the chance to catch your breath before you feel him twitching inside of you again, now hard as ever. His fast recovery is almost as quick as his reflexes. Itto pulls you off of him within a flash before mounting you from behind. 
“I’m sorry, just one more, one more, okay?” You can hear how his voice shakes in your ear but, you don’t have the chance to reply as he effortlessly slides back into you. In this position, you can hear everything, every puff of air that escapes his lips and every whimper that falls. Itto cries into your ear, tongue lapping at the surface as he moves his hips at a quick pace. “You’re fucking me so good,” 
You can almost feel him in your fucking stomach as you clamp around him but, his brutal strides feel so good. Each thrust against your bottom sends you flying and you end up face-first in the duvet. Itto keeps you still with a firm hand on your hip but, you can imagine how broken his expression must be as he groans above you. 
“One more time, one more time,”
((It’s never just one time with him.))
TIGHNARI
“(Y/N), please,” 
Hearing the forest ranger beg is something you are not used to. Tighnari never begs or yearns for your touch and attention. If he wants something, he takes it with little hesitation. 
Except when the seasons begin to change. 
When the air grows colder, something primal shifts in Tighnari. You can see it in the way his eyes soften into pools of need and how he becomes much more sensitive to the slightest touch. If you even think about touching his fingers, over his gloves, he will drop whatever is in his hands. 
Tighnari becomes reactive all over. 
“It’s happening again.” He murmurs into your ear as he presses up against your side. His tail wraps around your thigh, squeezing over and over again as he ruts into your leg. “I need you.” When Tighnari gets like this, you know it’s best to just let him take. 
“You poor thing,” Your voice is full of sympathy, perhaps a bit condescending, and it makes the forest ranger whimper. His ears flatten against the top of his head as his eyes squeeze shut in concentration. Your quiet sighs and hums only make him more delirious, Tighnari burrows his face into the crook of your neck and simply inhales. His breathing gets heavier as his messy thrusts become erratic. If he had not been holding onto you so tightly, you’re sure you would have fallen to the floor by now. 
He cums with a gasp, one that sucks the air from his lungs, and he tries to hide it by biting on your shoulder. Tighnari grits his teeth against your skin as little whimpers leave his lips, his tail rapidly thumping against your leg. His weight becomes too much and you both sink to the floor under his passion. 
That first orgasm meant nothing to him, it’s merely a warm-up. 
Tighnari can’t even bring himself to guide you to your shared bedroom, he takes you on the floor. 
He can’t help the way that he spreads your thighs and licks, running his tongue along your slit. The poor man devours it all, spitting and lapping up at whatever he can reach. His harsh sucks make you shiver and squirm but, you can’t move under the tight grip he has on your waist. 
“Ah,” Whatever Tighnari planned to say is muffled by your cunt as he shoves his tongue inside of you. He thrusts the muscle as far as he can go, ears flattened in concentration while his nose grinds against your clit. It’s as if he has become utterly consumed by you, everything about you because all he can focus on is getting his tongue in you as deep as possible. 
But then, he suddenly pulls himself off of you as if it hurts to touch you.
In the blink of an eye, Tighnari is above you, staring down while his legs get situated between your own. 
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry but, I need it,” His breathing has become erratic, eyes almost feral as he begins to heavily salivate. With his primal urges brought to the surface, you know you won’t be able to leave this position and similar ones for a few days. “I have to- I have to fuck you.” 
YAE MIKO
With the amount of time you’ve spent beside Yae Miko, you know her exceptionally well. 
You know when something begins to shift within her, almost as if it is in the air. It’s seen in the way the other shrine maidens keep their distance and in the way Miko’s fingers dance along your skin as she grabs you at any possible opportunity. She makes sure that she’s touching your bare skin, her pink nails nearly breaking it as she stands behind you. 
“I require your assistance, pet,” Her breathy voice always confirms it for you and is the tell-tale sign of when her primal urges begin to show. She drags you by your wrist to a lone room, one decorated exceptionally well with everything you could need to last for weeks. Your lover’s touch grows lighter.
“You know what I need from you.” Yae Miko stares down at you as if she is truly looking down on you, her eyes hold little interest but you know better. You can see how her finger is nearly starting to tremble and how her lips have begun to part. “Come here,” She doesn’t even have to lift a finger for you to stand in front of her, within her grasp. 
Her lips are on you without another second to spare. Immediately, it’s all tongue. She parts your lips with tight squeezes of your sides before her hands move to paw at your breasts. While letting her tongue run over your own, shoving the muscle as far down your throat as she can, she towers above you. Her moans are low and entirely full of pleasure. 
You have a belief that her urges bring out something in you, something similar because you can’t help but want to be used by her every season. 
With heavy hands, Miko pushes you to the ground forcefully on your back. She slowly lowers to her knees, watching you carefully as you pathetically stare up at her. Your lips are still part and slightly swollen because of her previous ministrations. It makes her heart stop as desire stirs in the pit of her stomach. 
She spreads your legs with her slim hands and hooks one of your thighs over her own. Your underwear is discarded in seconds by her nails and her shorts are magically on another side of the room. 
Yae Miko’s lips turn slightly upwards, almost in a mischievous grin as she presses your leg to your chest and sits on top of you. She’s hot, the touch of her skin nearly makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. An immediate roll of her hips makes you moan loudly, the feeling of her sopping cunt against your own renders you speechless. 
“How funny,” She coos but, struggles to hide back her own shakey exhales. Desire takes the forefront of her brain and all she can think about is satisfying the demanding urge in the pit of her stomach. Over and over, she presses her clit against your own and rubs at the sensitive area while roughly thrusting her hips. This is only the beginning, you’re too aware of it. 
With the way Miko is squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipple, you can’t help but anticipate the rest of her plans with you. 
ZHONGLI
After spending lifetimes with Zhongli, you still end up winded when the seasons change. 
Your husband is a dutiful man and always gives you a fair warning, a notice before something ever happens with his body. However, sometimes a warning is not nearly enough. 
It’s been days since his insides have turned into a molten heat and Zhongli has not been shy about tackling this issue with you. You’re always so good to him, let him do whatever he desires just to satisfy the annoying urges. 
Day after day, he can’t help but grow stronger about his affections. He’s a selfish man and he desperately needs more. 
“Oh, you’re-” The words can’t even leave his lips as his head tilts back, a loud moan leaves his lips. Zhongli grits his teeth painfully, grinding them down as his hand tightens in your hair. He’s not being careful and neither are you. You continue to choke on him, around him, as your spit coats his entire cock. The cool sensation makes your husband’s thighs twitch as he grunts at the feeling spreading between his legs. 
You feel incredibly lucky that his primal form has yet to take over, perhaps it won’t even show this time around. It would be nearly impossible to satisfy him with another appendage hanging between his thighs. But, the thought still makes you moan wantingly. 
“My love-” Zhongli finds it hard to speak, his balls painfully tight and it only gets worse when he sees your hand hidden between your thighs. He focuses on your fingers moving against your clit and his eyes nearly turn into slits as he focuses on the image. The realization that this brings you as much pleasure as it does him causes a guttural groan to leave his chest. “Come here,”
His voice changes, it becomes much deeper, much more commanding. Zhongli doesn’t wait for you, he roughly pulls you up to your feet before pulling you into his lap. The way he manhandles you, forcing you to sit back on his face makes your entire being light up with need. 
“Morax!” You screech as your hands press into his abdomen, his tongue doesn’t waste a second now that you’re on him. The archon presses his tongue into your cunt, thrusting in and out before running the muscle over your clit. The stimulation makes it hard to focus but, you still reach for his heavy cock. 
You grip him tightly and lick at his slit, tongue digging into the area as you hum at the taste. Zhongli’s grip on your thighs becomes stronger and he fights back with his sharp nails digging into your skin. Had you been any more focused, you would have thought he had grown claws.
Your cunt pulses around his tongue and all Zhongli can do is continue to shove the muscle inside of you. He doesn’t shy away from rubbing against your walls, no, he has his own agenda. It’s almost sick how he coaxes you to gush around him, all so he can swallow it greedily to satisfy some gut-clenching demand. 
But, he can’t help it, he also can’t help how his skin begins to turn and scales spread across his arms. He can’t help but connect with his primal side when you satisfy the very deepest desires that he has. 
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lustingfood · 26 days
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soup dumplings in mapo tofu (x)
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profic-mafuyu · 1 year
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im having an idea hmm,,,
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airplanebroo · 10 months
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His computer froze at the monthly peak meeting.
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holographicbutch · 1 year
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I made miso soup today everyone clap and cheer pls
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jaradraws · 4 months
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tasmyn muir: you should hate ianthe
me: i need her
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maklodes · 10 months
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Utopian techno-futurist concept: a tofu container which has a peel-away lid which is not bonded more strongly to the container than to itself, and as such can simply be peeled away rather than being iteratively torn into shreds or cut with a knife.
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jeonsupershy · 4 months
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thank you GAM3 BO1 for making our 2023 brighter 🎮🤍
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beefdogcoffee · 8 months
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sharing this information with everyone thank you have a wonderful day ahead
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wes-laye · 2 years
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Nothing like some almond tofu after almost getting stuck underground forever
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ch0c00n · 9 months
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oh to not be in a 36 degree celsius weather right now☀️
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jinkicake · 11 months
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Do What U Want
Shameless hsr smut for no reason ((voyeurism, riding, choking+riding, welt is additcted to p*ssy looool))
Gepard, Jing Yuan, Sampo, Welt x Reader 
A/N: I kinda want these big, stupid men so b4d! I pulled this out of my ass because I could NOT stop thinking about Welt.... Gepard turned into Welt into Jing Yuan into Sampo LOL I never got to writing for Blade 
!! ALL SMUTTTTTT // NSFWWW !!
WC - 2,276
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Gepard
“So this is what you do when I am gone?”
The captain nearly jumps at your voice, ultimately freezing all over as his hand stills over his cock. He’s immobile, shame stuns him speechless and all he can do is stare at you. With his heavy cock still in hand, and abdomen on full display because of his shirt being pushed up over his chest, Gepard looks messy. 
“My love,” He finally stutters out and quickly makes work of covering himself up. His shaky hands fumble with his boxers as he attempts to shove himself back into his light pants. You stop him shortly with a single hand, a gentle touch of your fingertips against his wrist. It makes the man stare longingly up at you, hands now frozen as he tries to blink the surprise out of his eyes. Gepard knows he should be afraid of the smile on your face, the slight upturn of your lips but, he’s not. 
The man is practically shaking as he awaits your touch. 
“Don’t be embarrassed,” You coo before running your lips over his jaw, the captain nearly winces as more precum pathetically spills from his cock. “continue.” Your encouragement goes in one ear and out the other, all Gepard can focus on are your dainty fingers against his skin. The captain continues to stare at you with furrowed brows and a confused expression.
It’s only when your soft hand guides his own, wrapping over his hard cock, that Gepard knows what he must do for you. You want him to pick up where he left off, you want to watch him complete an intimate act. Gepard tightly swallows and continues to stare at you, lips slightly parted, as his hand begins to move. 
He stares needily at your content expression, he stares at the pretty contours of your face and the perfect pout of your lips. Your eyes don’t meet his though, no, you’re too busy watching him jerk his thick cock. Each tight stroke causes you to breathe harder, hands now gripping his knees as you take it all in. 
Gepard tries to find any shame within himself but, he can’t find any. He puts on a show for you. His thighs tense at a particular yank and his balls start to feel painfully tight at a slight swerve of his palm over the tip. 
“Mhm,” He groans at the feeling, his head tilting back against his broad shoulders as his eyes squeeze shut. The touch of his own hand is nothing compared to your own but, Gepard makes the most of it. When you are watching him like this, he has to.
“Open your eyes.” Your voice is so gentle in his ears, calling to him like a siren that he immediately follows. The captain blinks his eyes open and moans out your name at your awaiting stare. You want to see the finale, you want to see him cum all over himself. Desire heavily clouds your iris. “You’re so close, aren’t you, Gepard?” With a singular lick of your lips in anticipation, the large man loses it. 
One more harsh tug pulls him to the edge, forcing him to unload all over his bare abdomen. As he strokes himself through the heavy orgasm, you excitedly reach for the ‘v’ of his hips and lower your head. 
Out of everything, Gepard shouldn’t be surprised that you want to lick him clean.
Jing Yuan
“How was your day, angel?” Genuine curiosity pours out of the general’s mouth as he stares at you with a darkened gaze. It’s cute how you squirm in his lap and are unable to respond, it makes the older man feel a surge of pride expand in his chest. He tries to encourage you with a large hand against your back but, the smooth touch of random patterns only serves to make you even more speechless. 
You make it a point to ignore him as you stubbornly shake your head and puff out your cheeks but, your general just laughs. It’s a rich and deep sound that seemingly fuels your irritation further as you attempt to move in his lap. 
“Eager, are we?” He breathes softly into your ear, thick hair tickling your cheeks and jaw, almost causing you to moan. Pitifully, you whimper and it’s a noise that Jing Yuan will always cherish. It seems that the man has had enough of teasing you as he begins lifting his hips in gentle motions. Strong and sturdy thighs keep you upright all while your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure. 
Jing Yuan maintains a steady pace as he leans forward to mouth at your chest. His heavy hand still keeps you steady from its position placed between your shoulder blades. The general places hot, open-mouthed kisses against your breast. He traces the outlines with intimate lips before subtly brushing over your nipple. The sensation causes your back to arch suddenly while desperately grinding down in his lap. 
Another peck to the growing pebble and your hands immediately reach for his hair. Thick white strands are now woven between your fingers and all Jing Yuan can do is groan against your breast as you tug against his roots. The sound is deep and low, causing vibrations to shoot up your spine. 
“Please,” You quietly beg, breathing out the plea with soft breaths. Jing Yuan licks over your nipple before encasing it with his lips. The immediate wet sensation that follows has you moaning desperately. His hot tongue works wonders against your sensitive body, dutifully flicking until your thighs begin to shake. 
Another hand snakes down between your legs as Jing Yuan places a thick thumb on your clit. He presses down before gently swirling a pattern of consistent circles that he knows will always do the trick. All it takes is a handful of seconds for the swollen bud to start reacting as your cunt tightens around him. 
Power surges from his fingertips as he uses his entire body to please you. The defined general beneath you does not once shy away from helping you reach the peak of your potential.
“How do you feel?” Jing Yuan asks as he forces himself to pull away from your chest. As he awaits your answer, he goes right back to your other breast. Each suction of his lips grows stronger than the last. “Tell me,”
You struggle to find the words as his hard cock rubs against you just right, any sound that falls from your lips is in his name. 
“So good,” You’re panting in his lap as you continue to grind down against him. “so close.”
“Is that so?"
That is what Jing Yuan wanted to hear, he always finishes his job with you. 
Sampo
“You really think you can take me?” 
All you’ve ever wanted to do is knock the cocky smirk off of Sampo’s face and now, the chance is right in front of you. 
“Yes.” You confidently sneer as you glare up at the large man, buff and carved in all the right places. His height almost makes it difficult to keep your gaze locked with his own. “Right here, right now, in any way.” 
The innuendo makes his lips split into a grin, eyes lighting up in excitement at such a prospect. This is a deal to be made. 
“Not in a fight?” He questions and one of his thick eyebrows raises up. Almost tauntingly, he tilts his head and your vision is nothing but a flash of deep blue strands. 
“Not in a fight,” You breathe, almost sounding breathless due to the close proximity. The merchant’s pleased expression only grows as his large hands wrap around your waist and pull you into his chest. His lips now ghost over your ear. 
“This way, my dear,”
With such a rare chance, you make sure to keep your word. By the end of this, the boisterous man will be fucked dumb by you and only you. 
The satisfaction is on the tip of your tongue and you can see the pleasure now in Sampo’s lust-filled eyes. 
Who knew all you had to do was wrap one of your hands across his strong neck and squeeze to get the big man to cry?
“Oh, fuck me,” He pants, eyes squeezed tight at the new onset of pleasure washing over him. His hips thrust erratically up into you and had you not been so prepared, you think you could have fallen off of him. Eagerly, you roll your hips down and grind into his lap. With each squeeze around his throat, you match it as you press your thighs together. It sends the man reeling, he’s just as noisy and as loud as ever. 
“Look at you getting fucked,” You coo while leaning over his chest. The merchant smiles at your voice, at your condescending tone as his large hands blindly reach for your chest. He groans at the feeling when he finally finds your pretty breasts against his palm. 
“You’re so fucking hot,” Sampo grins. “kiss me, I know you want to.” His own taunts don’t work against you, no matter how badly you might want to give in. 
“What have you done to deserve it?” 
“Oh, god,” He whines, the gigantic man beneath you actually whines at the denial of a kiss. You wish you had a camera, you wish everyone could see how he actually is. The merchant, talented and smooth-tongued, is nothing but your own little toy. Desire licks at your lower belly as you brush your lips against his chin. 
“Cum and I’ll kiss you,” 
“Kiss me and I’ll cum,” Even close to his orgasm, Sampo still finds a way to argue back with you. 
“Beg for it and I might consider,” You have to hear it, you need to hear his pleas of desperation. It’s a joke, really, because the second you hear them you’ll give in to what you both want. 
“Kiss me, please, please fucking kiss me,” Sampo’s throaty whine is muffled by your mouth as he eagerly parts his lips to meet you in a messy kiss. It’s perfectly, entirely too perfect because there is no one else you would do this with. 
Welt
“Are you sure no one will find us?” Your fingers, which Welt desperately wishes were tangled in his hair, are currently pushing him away from your cunt. It’s a mild distraction and does not steer him off track in the slightest but, Welt wants you to be at ease too. “Mr. Yang?”
He nearly moans when you call out his name, it’s like a dream how his perverted fantasies have come to life. Getting to eat you out in the back of a train car has only happened in his wildest fantasies. 
“No one will bother us, I promise,” His cool voice convinces you effortlessly and, once again, your pretty thighs slide open for him. The older man wants to give you a warning before he begins, he wants to make sure that you don’t interrupt him but he keeps to himself because the moment you push your panties to the side, any logical thought in his head is out the window. 
Welt starts with one short lick, partially to test his own restraint and to tease you. The sweet flavor on his tongue, perfectly earthy, nearly makes the grown man groan. He can’t stop after that one taste. Welt grips your thighs as his fingers dig into your skin, spreading you apart even further to wholeheartedly devour. One lick becomes two, followed by a third and each swipe of his tongue continues to grow heavier and heavier. He becomes utterly consumed with eating you out, nose now resting snuggly against your clit. 
A mixture of your arousal and his drool is coating his chin but, the older man can’t find it in himself to care. The neat and tidy Mr. Yang has fallen weak to you, this taste on his tongue is all he has ever wanted. 
“Please,” You quietly beg as your fingers tug on his hair, Welt moans at the sensation. He finally removes his tongue from inside your sweet cunt to focus on your clit. “Mr. Yang, Welt-” His broad strokes have changed to short flicks, focusing the tip of the muscle to properly stimulate you. Over and over again, he plays with your clit until it becomes swollen and slick. Welt sucks and laps over the bud even as your thighs tighten around his head. 
He couldn’t stop now, nothing could get him to stop now, not when he has you so close. 
“Come on,” He almost demands and at the brief insertion of his slim finger, perfectly curled to touch that spot shallowly within you, you come with a cry of his name. Welt continues to coax you through it, finger curling and pumping while he licks boldly at your clit to work you through the orgasm. He nearly whimpers while giving you a few more sucks, it’s more so for him than anything else. The sweetest taste on his tongue is a flavor he has desired ever since he met you, he desperately needs more. One orgasm is simply not enough.
“Mr. Yang,” You whine and attempt to push him back again but Welt continues to eat you out, hands still tightly gripping your hips. Your high-pitched moans sound like music to his ears, he can’t help the way he sucks and pops your pretty little clit in his mouth. 
Welt truly cannot help himself, he finally has you and can’t let you go just yet. 
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