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#and there's a lot of religion on her side
lordsothofsithicus · 3 days
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So I promised someone I would make this post - Kira Nerys from DS9 and why she got Kicked Upstairs, quite literally
@iconsumethesoulsofthedamned
OK so - establish what we know of Kira's character at the beginning of the series She has been made the political officer on Deep Space Nine. She is not happy about it both because she has been essentially politely shooed off of Bajor but she also has to take orders from a Federation commander, and resents the very presence of the Federation because having just chased off one military authority why are the Bajorans welcoming another, one approaching making the same promises of friendship the Cardassians did, it's lunacy
Kira is Argumentative (capital A) Kira is temperamental Kira is undiplomatic By all standard political yardsticks she is a TERRIBLE choice to serve as a political officer, especially since Bajor is trying to negotiate its admission to the Federation, and she very much did not ask for the posting
So why did she get it?
Kira is a Major in the Bajoran militia. This is a command officer rank but not a Colonel or a Generalship - it is as I recall the last of the ranks where during wartime you'd be personally commanding soldiers in combat (correct me if you know better). Meaning that she is by the time we meet her a seasoned field officer
But what else do we know about her?
Kira is religious
Not in a flashy or ostentatious way, but in a deeply, sincerely-held way that some could interpret as traditionalist or conservative.
But wait - she also has a close personal relationship with more than one highly-placed Vedek, including a VERY close relationship with one (Bareil) who is on the short-list to become the next Kai... this is like having a list of Cardinals on your speed-dial including one who is placed to become the next Pope with little hearts <3 <3 <3 next to his name in your caller ID.
So not only is she religious, she is a military officer with influence over religious figures (she would doubtless find the idea of exercising that influence in a way that personally elevated her blasphemous, but that's beside the point) - this carries onto the next point
Kira is a leader of one of the most famous resistance cells on Bajor - essentially, the one that did so much damage it forced the Cardassians to relinquish the entire planet as part of negotiating the end of the war with the Federation. The Bajorans made such a stink and did so much damage the Federation said "Let them go" and the Cardassians said "Ok" and that's largely laid at the feet of the Shakar resistance cell. This is why she's so highly-placed in the Bajoran Militia. She has influence over the ex-Partisans and most of the Militia that far exceeds her rank; it becomes fairly obvious over the course of the show that when she calls, they come. Would she use this influence to elevate herself? No, but again that's beside the point.
This influence is so important that politicians like Minister Jaro who want to overthrow the government need her on their side, because if she's not - well, see what happens with Jaro's coup.
So here's a complete portrait: A military officer who's been fighting ever since she could pick up a weapon, notoriously impatient and undiplomatic but with TREMENDOUS influence over the military and ex-military civilians, probably outstripping a lot of officers who outrank her. An officer who is deeply motivated by traditionalist religious beliefs and who has a close relationship with prominent religious figures INCLUDING the man who is widely regarded as the candidate to become the next leader of the planetary religion; she ends up in bed with him later on, quite literally.
Now imagine if you're a politician who sees this quite frankly frightening, charismatic, impatient, INFLUENTIAL officer, probably when she storms into your office and begins to yell and you cannot make her leave. Your government is made of matchsticks and hope. You start to think... if Kira Nerys decides she could do a better job of running the planet she will whistle and not only will half of the Militia side with her, a bunch of farmers who used to be partisans will beat their plowshares back into swords. She could plunge the whole damn planet into civil war. Sure there are people who swear up and down she would find the idea offensive (and she would, but that's beside the point) ...But can you take that chance? What do you do with her? You can't ruin her career, assuming you're jaded enough to try. She is untouchable - incorruptible, fearless, and devoted to service. She has Friends. Maybe you're even one of them?
So set that aside... there is a posting that is technically a promotion; the Federation is establishing a presence in the star system in order to protect Bajor and help clean up the mess the Cardassians left on the planet, and the government needs a ranking officer to represent Bajoran interests and work with the Federation commander.
For her supporters, you sell it like this: Kira Nerys is tough (boy is she) and she won't let the Federation and especially the Cardassians push her around (she absolutely will not). She will represent Bajoran interests above her own (she will). She will serve Bajor on Deep Space Nine the way she always has, with every part of her being (Absolutely)
To those who are afraid of her, you spin it like this. This posting will occupy all of her time (it will) and it will literally keep her off of the planet and isolated (it will, this is one of the reasons she hates it at the beginning of the series). If she messes up, it will damage her reputation (...probably) - and if she succeeds, hardliners who might've rallied behind her will suspect her of being tainted by association with the Federation (cynical, but sure)
And that buys you time to work on strengthening the government so someone like oh, say, an extremely influential, extremely popular war hero can't huff and puff and blow the whole damn thing over
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soft--dogs · 6 months
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sorry sorry sorry commissions are behind again, this whole fucking month has been one thing after another. my grandma has been in the hospital since yesterday, she's ok for now but she's had health problems for a while now and the doctors never seem to know what's going on :/ anyway just wanted to say i'm here and still working and everything, i might just be like a week or two behind schedule for a bit >w<
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arthursfuckinghat · 16 days
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"Religion is just a word. Hearts are rarely pure, but equally are they rarely impure either."
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quietprocrastination · 9 months
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Hey so, like, not to be super critical of a piece of media that has a lot of toxic tropes and messages in it but like. I Do Not like Nesta's whole power character arc like
Gains power from a cauldron when after she's drowned (awesome, literally a witch they couldn't drown)
2. Visibly intimidates others (lol Rhysand)
3. Gets a cool mentorship (friendship) with another magical and feared character (Amren)
Okay at this stage you have a Cool Character, what now?
She's depressed and not paying attention to her powers. Fair! She literally just survived a war.
Oh wait her old mentor now suddenly thinks she's a waste despite saying previously to give Nesta time (hm, weird, okay).
They now don't want her to learn more about her powers (too threatening) give her a sword to solve her problems!
She is now handed over to an abusive asshole, while in a vulnerable state, to learn something new. (The asshole is Cassian btw.)
They fuck (?????? Romance ?????????)
Brief interlude to introduce the very evil and very promising evil prince who's like. Hey your powers are cool we could kick ass together.
Hm, no. Power of the Sword. (Is this a phallic thing that dick makes everything better??????)
??????? She now wants to become a mother ???????? Anyways the powers are gone and she is no longer a threat! No longer on equal standing! She's broken in, she is now acceptable :)
Anyways I find it really weird that it goes from potential female friendship with Amren to being shoved under the training (and by extension authority) of her male "romance" partner.
I think Sarah J Maas has an unhealthy thing with women only gaining validation through male approval and training. Like. Why can't they learn from other women? Her power now depends on Cassian (kinda like how Feyre's power depends on Rhysand, how Rhysand gave Morrigan her position, etc. etc.)
Also why does all power have to be physical. Boring.
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shredsandpatches · 5 months
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Really want to see the church scene in Gounod Faust staged with Marguerite and Mephistopheles on opposite sides of a confessional screen (I would not be surprised if this is common but I haven't seen that many productions). I think it'd really underscore the psychological/spiritual horror and violation going on in that scene.
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m4niackkyun · 1 year
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Hi. (Announcement in the tags)
#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this...#so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately#mostly our relationship with our step father#there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well..#money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support.#i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where—#I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did#i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it—#—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others.#no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him.#my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness#that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel—#nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget.#they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but—#I won't be able to be active all that much either.#without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account#I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time#maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and—#—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you.#I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for—#—the better or worse.#if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here.#I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms#but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God.#I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle.#and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith.#that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah...#yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.
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sweetenby · 1 year
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my toxic trait as a dnd is player is that I'm obsessed with making fantasy communities and if you leave me alone with my thoughts for too long I'll turn my characters simple backstory into a whole fucking town that has its own history and culture and then walk up to my dm and be like 🥺 "Can you put this in your world please?" 🥺
#My first dm ruined me this way#Bc he gave each of the players their own side missions based on backstory n love that I did this#bc I've written like half of the quest for him already Including NPCs#I invented a religion in his world to justify some character choices I made for my barbarian#And he just rolls with it and it's incredible#Like I go 'my character has a twin sister who went to magic school'#And 'when my character left her tribe she joined a crew under the captain Tommy Wisgnome on his ship the antechamper'#And then my dm goes cool#Your sister graduated magic school and now works as an advisor to a power dragon king#And Tommy actually is a former agent to a disbanded CIA like government agency but still retains some powerful contacts#Anyway yeah they'repowerful but if you want help from either of them you have to deal with the politics they're deeply embroiled in#Like God fuck yeah#I still have to get used to the fact that other dms don't Do That#Bc I'm over here crafting nuclear story bombs of NPCs from my backstory on accident#Bc I cannot stop fucking thinking about absolutely ridiculous concepts that have nothing to do with the main story#And then putting them in my characters backstory bc they sound neat#Like girl help me#I pretty much always turn my characters family/caretakers into NPCs bc like how you were raised influences you a lot#And I like being like my character is this way bc they grew up around these ppl#And then my brain took it a step farther and went#Okay now I'm going to create a whole ass setting bc my character acts this way bc of the culture they came from as a whole#Like hello!!!#It feels rude to just be inventing cities at someone else's table but also I'd love it if my players did this#I have no idea what is proper dnd etiquette#Anyway currently having big thoughts abt the village my teifling gnome is from
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scattered-winter · 11 months
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I think one of the biggest things I want to break the cycle of if I'm ever able to have kids is religion tbh. like growing up my parents didn't really give me a choice of which religion I wanted to be a part of, if any, and when I expressed interest in studying religions from other cultures as a hobby they got freaked out and made me promise I'd "be careful not to fall away from the True Real Church" or whatever and like. idk I feel like a kid should be allowed to choose for themselves !? because religion is a big personal thing and so I think the reason it never clicked with me was because it was always something I was forced to do and believe. and idk if I ever have a kid I would want them to be able to explore the world around them and decide what they believe on their own, and have my support no matter what they choose
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AITA for sabotaging my husband's relationships?
CW for discussions about sex, but I wouldn't say it's NSFW
In my country, arranged marriages are very common and this was how I (24F) got married with "Jason" (24M) (note that I said ARRANGED marriages, not FORCED marriages. An arranged marriage is basically when your family plays matchmaker with you and someone else, but it isn't forced). It's important to say I never wanted to get married and am for sure placed somewhere in the ace spectrum, because sex was never something important to me. But I knew Jason since we were kids and he was always nice to me, so I accepted to spend some time with him and see where it would go.
Turns out Jason and I had a lot in common. Our country is pretty religious, but neither of us saw that much importance in religion and just pretended to our families to not cause problems. We are both more on the introvert side and don't like crowds or big family reunions. When I told him about my feelings about sex and sexuality, he was sweet and understanding. We ended up becoming good friends and it was obvious the idea of marrying each other seemed appealing for us.
So we got married two years ago. We made a deal to be basically good friends who are married, to not have sex and sleep in different rooms. He was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted since he was not getting this from me. Everything was perfectly fine.
Our families, however, really started to pressure us to have children this last year. Since this was so important to them, we agreed to, well, try. But first I asked him to make an STI exam since he had his fair share of casual sex and, even though he reassured me he always used protection, I wouldn't feel safe otherwise. After the exam showed he was clean, we had our first time together and it was great. Way better than I could ever imagine. After that, he noticed I liked it and asked if sex was in the equation of our relationship now. I said yes.
This was a few months ago and since then we've been having sex pretty regularly, but we also started to spend more time together outside of that, and I think my feelings of friendship for Jason are starting to change. Not only that, but I started to feel jealous of his casual relationships, especially his affair with this "Anna" girl (20sF) who he's been seeing regularly for the past months. I'm scared he starts to fall in love with her, because he always speaks highly of her and he seems to like her.
So I kinda started to sabotage his dates with her and other girls, in a way? I pretend to have headaches, to feel sick or sad or any other excuse so he has to stay with me instead of go see them. I know it's childish and maybe I should just talk to him about it, but I'm so scared he doesn't feel the same and things get weird between us. It's not like we can escape each other.
AITA?
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hup123hup123slapslap · 2 months
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So a thought has been kicking around my head for a bit...what if Helio knew exactly what he was signing up for by making Kristen his chosen one?
It has always struck me as odd that when describing Doreen in Helioic heaven, Brennan mentioned her flirting with men and women. It also strikes me as odd that Kristen never got any pushback from Helio about turning her back on him. Even if he was similarly 'out of the picture' like sol was while Arthur was wrecking havoc, Kristen's powers should have faded when she fully committed to not worshipping him. You need to worship a god to get powers, and this is emphasized heavily in the latest episode. Kristen worshipping the vague idea of religion but Definitely Not Helio just doesn't cut it. Sure, taking away a PCs powers wasn't really in the cards in season one, but Brennan works very well and very caringly with what he has to establish as canon.
Kristen was looking for a reason to drop Helio from the get-go. His frat boy appearance and non-answer to a nearly impossible question didn't truly matter at the core of her feelings. She wanted an out from the prison she was trapped in with the Helioic faith, even if she didn't realize it fully. She had tension with her mom and her ideals from the scene one! She wanted to connect with people the church actively shunned. Helio was never the true problem.
Now, gods are shaped by their worshippers. So on some level Helio is shaped by people with shitty ideals. But there's still a foothold of good, especially if there are out and proud gays in heaven. Especially if Kristen Applebees of all people is the chosen one.
When you have worshippers misinterpreting your whole deal, going with Sol's shitty messaging and transferring it onto you and using it for bad things, what can you do as a god? Because you ARE what they say you are. So how can you fight back?
Well. You make your chosen one someone that embodies your true heart. Someone that can actually turn the tides of your worship.
There is an emphasis on tracker reinventing and revitalizing her religion. Changing it for the better. Taking the old and not tossing it out, but making it better.
Isn't that what Kristen struggles with the most? That's what she needs to learn how to do.
Tracker also established that she can worship multiple gods when she helped with Yes?. Kristen doesn't need to settle for one even if she (fingers crossed) brings Kassandra back.
Because the season opened with the slow apocalypse of endless night. Endless daytime would end similarly. There has to be a balance. They are two sides of the same coin. Day and night. The surety of the sun and the doubt of the shadows.
Kristen wants both. And she can fucking have it if she decides to.
Ally once said they appreciate that the enemy is always the church. Organized religion. Kristen is perfect for disorganized religion though. Chill frat boy vibes and anxious doubts and the ultimate message of 'just do your best'.
I think religious trauma is a compelling, close to the heart topic for a lot of people. And some turn away from religion entirely and wash their hands of it. But some people don't. Kristen is a cleric. She can't. She wants a god, she wants answers, and she just can't find them in the established community she was raised in. That doesn't mean the core of her religion was wrong. The church was. So you take the religion and you harness it in a way that means something to you.
Maybe Kristen being desperate enough to invite Helio back into her life is what this has all been leading to.
She can remake a god. She's done it before. Because Kassandra was good at the core. Maybe Helio can be too.
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harmoonix · 5 months
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🍂𝓝𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓦𝓲𝓷𝓭🍂
🍁 (Astrology Observations) ❄️
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𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐲
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🍂 Capricorn Placements (Sun/Moon/Rising/Venus/Mercury) can indicate ageless beauty, your beauty comes with the time and patience
🍂 Sun in the 10th house natives can put their main focus in careers/job/future and sometimes they can forget about their family/friends/relatives, need a balance here
🍂 Scorpio Women are very different from Scorpio Men, like people tend to put them in the same box thinking they're both the same because they share the same sun sign
🍂 I don't know why some astrologers don't like cusps (they have beef with the birth chart I guess) if you have a Placidus chart rather a whole sign chart, cusps are important for Placidus
🍂 Moon in the 1st house/Moon aspecting the ascendant makes the native very soft/kind and generous, they have gorgeous eyes too
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🍂 Mercury in Fire/Air Signs may like loud music, something like R&B or Rap/Trap, club music
🍂 On the other side Mercury in Earth/Water may like soft music especially if there are romantic songs, for example Love you like a love song is such a Pisces Mercury song
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🍁In her waters, deep and true
Lie the answers and a path for you❄️
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🍂 Sagittarius Mercury or Mercury in the 9th house may like to listen to songs in other/foreign languages from other cultures/ethnicities. They may like traditional songs aswell
🍂 Mercury aspecting Venus/Moon can have a very comforting voice, very soft and sometimes they can be shy in their voice
🍂 Mercury in Scorpio/Scorpio in the 3rd house/Mercury aspecting Pluto > You can feel free to talk everything with them, literally they will jump from every topic to another topic
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🍂 Pluto in the 9th house can make the native to have a philosophical opinion about their own religion/belief system
🍂 Jupiter Retrogade can indicate not acknowledging your own luck/benefits/opportunities, is like you are blinded from them
🍂 Sun aspecting Juno [3] they will shine in every relationship they are in. They may also show a big support in their partners
🍂 Groom(5129) /Briede(10929) in the 4th house can sometimes indicate marrying someone from your childhood (maybe a friend/maybe someone you didn't expect to marry from your Childhood)
🍂 Pluto or Saturn in the 4th house can indicate an continuously changing home mood/behavior, and sometimes tensionate moments too
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🍂 11th house ruler in the 5th house can indicate romance between friends, and is not always you who is in romance but you can have friends who can get in a relationship after some time
🍂 4th house ruler in the 8th house can have ancestors who may practiced occult/magic/tarot maybe? there is a big interest for the taboo things here from your family
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Every inch of me is trembling🍁
🍁But not from the cold
Something is familiar❄️
❄️Like a dream I can reach but not quite hold
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🍂 6th house ruler in the 12th house can have a pretty chaotic sleep schedule/may sleep a lot or may sleep less at points, they're with one eye in the spirit realm and with one eye in the human world
🍂 I cannot imagine Libra/Taurus/Pisces and Leo Moons getting in relationships with non romantic people, babes please...romance is everything for you...don't settle for less
🍂 Mars in Pisces/Mars in the 12th house can experience weird dreams or nightmares, sometimes they can have vivid dreams
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🍂 Neptune in the 3rd house natives are very intelligent/spiritual/clever, they're very kind at first glance and always ready to discover new things
🍂 Uranus chart ruler can bring you unexpected desires in life, like you never know what's coming next with Uranus, a desire or a wish
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I have always been a fortress🍁
🍁Cold secrets deep inside
You have❄️ secrets, too
But you don't have❄️to hide
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🍂 Aries/Aquarius/Scorpio Risings can really show on their faces when they don't like someone, and is not about being rude is that they have a prominent facial figure to express that
🍂 Moon in the 11th house/Moon in Aquarius "Friends stick together" the are this vibe 100%, I love how friendly they are and their attachment to their friends
🍂 Having a Virgo Moon/Moon in the 6th house is also an indicator having a very nurturing/healing/purifying energy around you like a shield
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🍂 Girls if you wanna do synastry chart with your crushes and you don't know their birth time, is enough to know their birth date because it shows the placements of the planets at least, so if you have Virgo in the 8th house and your crush is a Virgo Sun/Moon... love - hate war
🍂 Moon - Sun aspects have a great analytical mind, maybe it is from their ambient style of analyzing and feeling the same things at once
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🍂 North Node opposite the Moon, it indicates that you have emotional patterns from a past life that don't serve you. And that you can fall into moods/moments that are difficult to get out from
🍂 Also if you have North Node opposite the Moon your mother in this life was also a mother figure in your past life (shock 😲). It says that it can be damaging in one or both lifetimes (idk if I should cry or not)
🍂 If you have Saturn square north node in your chart you can often have the feeling of taking the responsibility/accountability for other people, in a way you live for others but not for yourself
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🍁🍂❄️ I hope you all have a great great greattttt day full of blessings !!❄️🍁🍂
Have a blessed day to all of you who read my notes, Harmmonix ♥️🍁
Off topic but I have to admit Frozen 2 was one of Disney's biggest masterpiece, the native language, the songs, the storyline, the goosebumps everything is on point. There are rumors of Frozen 3 coming in 2025 and so my eyes are ready to cry again at this masterpiece (The Nordic culture 😍)
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atyourmerci · 2 months
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† Salvation †
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Read pt.1 and pt.2
Summary: finale of repent series! Drabble of abby and readers life after abby comes to terms with her sexuality. Happy ever after lesbos<3
Warnings: smut, MDNI, switch!abby, switch!reader, religion play of course, strap usage, refers to strap as cock, cunnilingus, overstimulation, bondage, smnophilia, dirty talk yurrrr, some fluff
A/N: thank you so much for all of the love on this series!! Religious guilt/trauma is a tricky subject and I’m glad that I was able to portray it in a light that most of you could relate or sympathize with. And yall im so bad at writing fluff that’s why this is so short lmao that’s why I only write smut. I’m so excited to write through more niche experiences and topics. Love you like always<3
That night was nothing like the first. Your God showed mercy, wrapping your cold, shaky body with cloth and carrying you to where it all started.
This time she held you and never left, she was there was the sun came beaming down, drying out your soaked hair. While you were asleep she had removed her cross and strung it along your neck. Maybe there was no need hold a token of a god she had already met, maybe she wanted everyone else to know- you never cared to question her antics.
After your mission had ended she immediately broke things off with Owen, reclaimed herself within the community. And she for one took no shit with the commentary from anyone about the two of you. Her life mission was to protect you at all costs now, you were all she knew. She wouldn’t leave your side anymore. Anything you did she made sure she was there to protect you, she wouldn’t put your life in anyone else’s hands but her own.
There was a lot of things you had to teach Abby, and by teach, that meant showing her with your legs wide open. On a mission you both were sent out on to look for resources you ran across a run down sex shop. You found a girthy dildo with black leather straps, it was bigger than anything you’d ever taken but with the look of excitement on Abby’s face you couldn’t say no to her. You told her you could use it on her but she insisted on fucking you right there over the counter at the dusty sex shop. She wasted no time dragging your pants down to your ankles and ripping your panties seams to get inside, ”I’d tell you to suck my cock first but you’re so fucking wet already, how bad have you wanted this,hmmm?” She promised she’d go slow, walking you through it, “fuck you’re doing so good, taking me so well for your first time.” After your pain had been replaced with sheer pleasure she couldn’t hold back anymore, pumping into you so hard there was sure to be bruises all over your hips. After abusing your hole for an hour for her own amusement she finally let you cum while drawing circles around your swollen clit as she pounded deep and slow thrust into you. you were so cockdrunk she had to carry you back to the truck and finish the mission herself, it went by quickly as she imagined things she could do to you next with her cock.
She loved showering with you at night, she never let you lift a finger, washing your body gently after sneaking in the strap into the showers. Maybe it was because she learned how to fuck you in the showers that it made her so dominant in that environment. She wouldn’t let you touch her in there even after you begged her while she pinned your arms against the wall, overstimulating your clit over and over again until she was done with you. After she’d run you a bath and hold your fragile body as she ran soapy strips up and down your bruised skin, making sure to kiss every inch so that never missed an atom of your being.
Abby only regressed back into her old ways when she let you take complete control. She’d let you tie her to the bed you shared edging her till she was in tears, babbling prayers to climax. You’d tie her cross necklace around her clit and tug on it while you used your tongue to fuck her dripping hole. You’d only let her cum after she got on her knees like a whore eating away at your cunt while you shamed her for her sins.
Your life with abby wasn’t like anything you’d ever experienced before, but there was no before her, or after her. There was only your god, and hers.
Maybe she had still repented for her sins, maybe she had reached salvation at the mercy of your own sins.
Taglist: @wishbones999 @bookpagecandlescent @littlegingerperson2 @lanafresitas @lookforthelight1 @fict1onallyobsessed
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smileysuh · 10 months
Text
Sunday Sinner
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🌙 staring. Mark & Donghyuck x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “Everything is wrong,” Mark sighs. “Doing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in Church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But… as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.”
tw/cw. threesomes, inexperienced!Mark, fingering, blow jobs, deep throating, pussy eating, spit roasting, voyeurism, lots of masturbation (especially in the shower), Hyuck has a dirty mouth, sin sin sin, unprotected sex, creampies, cum play, kink for being 'full', religious contention, Mark gets hard during Sunday Service, Mark getting outed as low key virgin, proposition, Mark uses a cross necklace in sinful ways, praise, slight degradation, inklings of corruption kink, squirting, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel. (Mark's) church boy.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 12.6k
🍭 aus.frat/uni au, soccer player au, church/inexperienced!Mark, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I've wanted to do a fic about Mark being Christain for a while, but I wanted to make one that was still respectful. This idea popped into my head, and I think it turned out really well :) it's only slight blasphemy.
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There’s nothing like a frat party after a big win for the university soccer team. Even though Mark doesn’t really drink, and he’s never smoked a joint in his entire life, it’s nice to be surrounded by happy energy. 
His team always laughs at him when he notes how celebrations can feel almost church-like, but the indescribable buzz that fills the entire frat is familiar to the man who’s been going to Sunday Services his entire life. 
Mark likes seeing familiar faces, and if he hadn’t been raised in a very big family type of system, he’s not so sure he’d be this okay with crowds, or the number of people who reach out to pat him on the shoulder and shake his hand in congratulations for scoring the winning goal.
It had been a great game, and when Mark’s ball had sunk into the top left corner of the net, he’d run to the side lines to fall to his knees and make the sign of the cross, grabbing at the religious pendant around his neck to kiss it. People have always made fun of him for this tradition of his, but nothing will ever stop him from thanking God - his God - for the fortune life has brought him.
Even now, the necklace is securely around his throat, the cross resting just below his shirt. The cool metal brushes by his skin when he moves through the frat house, a constant reminder of his faith. 
Something is drawing him outside, and Mark has always been someone who leans into the feelings he can’t put his finger on. It’s something like divine guidance, and Mark exits the frat to step onto the back patio, where his friends are in a circle around a fire. 
It smells like weed, something Mark hadn’t liked at first, but it’s now a scent he’s used to, and he heads over to stand next to his roommate. 
Lee Donghyuck and Mark have been friends since high school, where a few ‘less woke’ teachers had assumed - because of their shared last name - that two were cousins, or something of the sort. They’d always been put in group projects together. At first, Hyuck had been too much for Mark to handle, but over the years, he’s come to like the chaotic energy of his closest friend, despite all their differences, mainly, their disagreements on religion.
“Look what the cat dragged in!” Hyuck bellows, throwing his arm around Mark to pull him tight to his hoodie covered side, which reeks of marijuana. 
“Church boy Mark!” Yuta grins from across the circle, raising his beer in a mock toast to the man who had won them their soccer game. 
“Can he even be here?” a bitchy foreign exchange student from Thailand asks, earning a shove from Mark’s frat ‘big’ Johnny.
“Of course he can be here,” the man from Chicago laughs.
“I just mean-” Ten is quick to correct himself, “we’re playing Never Have I Ever. Are we sure this is suitable for him?”
“Mark plays games,” Hyuck insists, but Mark’s not so sure about this one. 
“He doesn’t even have a drink,” Ten notes, looking Mark up and down.
“Someone get him something,” Hyuck says, snapping his fingers at one of their pledges. “One of the iced tea mixes, the low percent ones-”
“Hyuck-” Mark sighs.
“Trust me,” Hyuck assures him, “you hardly do anything with your life, it’s not like you’ll have to drink that much.”
Mark still doesn’t feel too enthused about joining the game, but he supposes his heart led him out here for one reason or another, so he accepts the hard iced tea can Jisung hands him. His eyes immediately scan it for the alcohol content, and he sighs. “This is the same as beer.”
“Come on, church boy,” Hyuck groans. “You’ll only have like three sips, max. Watch-” without waiting for Mark to agree, Hyuck is addressing the circle again. “Never have I ever sucked cock.” 
The girls in the vicinity all make sounds of annoyance, raising their drinks to their lips. In the periphery, Yuta also sips his beer, and after a moment and a groan, so does Ten. 
“See!?” Hyuck squeezes Mark’s shoulder. “You’re already zero for one.”
“That was a low blow, Hyuck,” your voice draws Mark’s attention. You’re standing on the other side of his best friend, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise, seeing as you’re Hyuck’s fuck buddy. 
Mark takes a moment to assess you while Hyuck rolls his eyes and defends himself. The church goer has always thought you were pretty, and you’re smart too, much too smart for the crazy gemini he has as a roommate. 
“Two can play that game,” you warn, raising your voice to announce, “Never have I ever eaten pussy.”
Mark’s skin prickles, panic washing over him as every man around the fire - and even a few girls - drink. The church boy can feel his grip on his can shaking slightly, and for a brief moment he considers having a swig of the hard iced tea just to protect himself, but, well… it would be a lie. And if there’s one thing Mark Lee doesn’t do, it’s lie. 
Mark can feel eyes on him as he downcasts his gaze to the ground. His skin is heating with embarrassment, and he just prays to God no one makes a big deal out of this-
“You’ve never eaten pussy?” Jeno yells, and Mark just knows the question is directed at him. 
He looks up, lips parting at the shock of being put on the spot. 
“Wait, you guys haven’t heard the church camp story?” Hyuck asks, and now Mark’s really panicking. But it’s too late to stop his loose lipped roomie, who is already diving into Mark’s past for the whole circle to hear. “This one time, he fucked a girl at church camp, and a Jesus picture fell off the wall, so he hasn’t even touched a girl since then.” 
A few people laugh, and while Mark can understand that - objectively - they’re not laughing at him, but at the story, he can’t help but get defensive.
“It fell off the wall, Hyuck,” Mark insists, voice shaking. “How else do you explain that?”
“I’ve always thought you were just banging that girl too hard,” Hyuck suggests, earning a few sounds of agreement from other frat boys. 
But Hyuck wasn’t there when it had happened, and Mark knows for a fact there was no true bed rocking going on. He’d been taking things slow, and the only possible explanation for the picture falling - in his mind at least - is that he’d disappointed God. 
He’d done a hundred Hail Mary’s as repentance, and now that his secret has been put out where everyone can hear, he thinks maybe he should do fifty more for good measure.
“I’ve gotta go,” Mark mumbles, handing Hyuck his drink.
Mark’s roommate tries to stop him from scurrying away, but the damage has been done, and the man who scored the winning goal at the soccer game rushes back into the frat house with red ears that betray his shame.
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“You can’t still be mad at me,” Hyuck whines, chasing after you as you exit the frat bathroom.
“Why do you assume I’m mad at you?”
“Because I followed you to the toilet and you didn’t wanna smash?” Your fuck buddy manages to pin you to the wall, hands on either side of your head while he looks at you with serious eyes, a contrast to the sentence that’s just come out of his mouth.
“Sometimes a girl’s just gotta pee, Hyuck,” you laugh.
“Don’t play games, angel,” he insists. “You’re mad about the Mark thing.”
“So you admit I have something to be mad about.”
Hyuck lets out a sigh. “Fine, yes.” He pulls away from you, throwing up a hand in defeat. “I shouldn’t have told everyone his stupid Jesus picture story. There, I said I’m sorry, are you happy now?”
“You said what?”
He groans, and in one motion, he’s pinning you to the wall again, his lips just millimeters away from yours. When he speaks, his voice is low, and his eyes drill into your own, “I’m sorry.”
After a moment, you say softly, “I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to.”
“You want me to apologize to Mark?!” 
“Among other things.”
Hyuck pulls away, looking you up and down. “You better not be suggesting what I think your horny ass is suggesting.”
“I don’t know,” you smirk. “What do you think I’m thinking?”
“It looks like you’re thinking about going upstairs to offer Mark help with getting over his Jesus sex fear.”
“And that would upset you?” You cock your head to the side, assessing your fuck buddy.
“Angel,” he groans, “you’re mine.” 
“Am I though?” you counter. “Am I really?”
When you’d started sleeping with Hyuck, he’d made it clear that he’s not the kind of guy who likes to be tied down to one person. While he can be somewhat possessive, part of your arrangement is that you can both do what you want, and right now, you’re seriously considering fucking the sweet church boy you’ve had a slight infatuation with since year one.
“Fuck the fact that you’re not my girlfriend,” Hyuck says finally. “There are bigger reasons you shouldn’t do this.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Well for one,” your fuck buddy leans in, his lips ghosting by your ear as he whispers, “Mark has a massive crush on you.”
For some reason, you find yourself laughing. Leave it to Hyuck to spill two of Mark’s biggest secrets in the span of one hour. 
“If Mark has a crush on me, then I have to do this. You can either join us, or go cry about it.”
Hyuck sighs. “For an angel, you can be a bit of a fucking demon sometimes.”
“And you love it.” 
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You and Hyuck are standing outside his bedroom. The door is locked when you try to open it, and Hyuck watches you let out a deep sigh before knocking. “Mark? You in there?”
“Of course he’s in there,” Hyuck whispers, rolling his eyes.
“Shh! Be nice!” you chastise him, playfully smacking his arm. Your voice is soft when you call out again, knocking gently a few more times. “Mark? Please let me in.”
The music from downstairs is too loud for Hyuck to hear movement in his room, but after a few moments, the door opens and Mark peers out.
“Oh, it’s both of you.”
“Don’t sound so disappointed, Mark,” Hyuck nearly laughs, placing his palm on the wood so he can force it open before his friend tries to shut the door again. “I live here too, you know.”
“How could I forget,” Mark sighs, heading over to flop onto his bed.
You and Hyuck enter the room, and he clicks the lock back into place behind him. He watches you approach his friend, sitting on the foot of the mattress. 
When you reach out, ghosting your hand over Mark’s shin, Hyuck leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He wouldn’t define himself as a jealous type of guy, but watching you be gentle with Mark is definitely bringing up some suppressed emotions, and Hyuck’s not sure what to make of it.
“Mark,” you stroke his leg. “Hyuck has something to say to you.”
“Huh?!” Hyuck’s eyes widen, and he looks between you and his roommate. 
You’re going to make him proposition his friend for you? 
“Yeah, didn’t you tell me you wanted to apologize?” There’s a warning tone in your voice, and when you look over your shoulder at Hyuck, you give him an expression filled with expectation.
“Right,” Hyuck coughs. “I uh… I’m sorry for what happened at the fire.”
He can tell by your small eye roll that you’re not fully satisfied with his apology, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind. The church boy sighs, running a hand over his face. “It’s okay,” he mumbles.
“It’s not okay,” you insist, turning your gaze back to Mark. “I’m also sorry for saying never have I ever eaten pussy. I was trying to attack Hyuck and make him drink, but you got caught in the crossfire.” 
“You didn’t mean to, though,” Mark says. “I shouldn’t have joined the game. This is a lesson for me, I guess.”
“Aw, Mark,” Hyuck can’t see your face, but he knows you’re frowning. “We wanted you to join the game. We like it when you do things with us.” 
It’s interesting for Hyuck to hear you saying the royal ‘we,’ as if you’re a couple, a unit. 
“I’m sure the incident with the Jesus picture was very traumatizing for you,” you continue, sounding as genuine as ever while your hand continues to smooth up and down Mark’s leg. “I can understand why you’d be… apprehensive about doing anything sexual after that.”
Mark groans, covering his face with his hands. Hyuck can’t help but smile when he sees his friend’s ears flaring red with embarrassment, it’s always so easy to get the church boy riled up.
“I just want you to know…” you shift a little where you’re seated, moving closer to Hyuck’s roommate, “this is a safe space. If you ever wanted to… try something like that again, there aren’t any Jesus pictures here to knock down.”
“What?” Mark’s lips part with shock, and he looks between you and Hyuck. “Are you two…”
“Propositioning you?” Hyuck suggests. “Yeah, she is.” 
“I’m not-” Mark swallows thickly. “I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity,” you assure him. 
“She wants to fuck you, Mark,” Hyuck says, trying to be helpful. “It will be good for you.”
“Good for me?” Mark squeaks.
“You’re a frat boy who’s practically a virgin, dude,” Hyuck nearly laughs. “You’ve gotta dip your dick in the sinful water sometime. What’s life without eating a little pussy?”
“Oh my god,” Mark groans, covering his face with his hands. 
“It’s not that bad, Jesus won’t mind, you don’t even have to put your dick in her!” Hyuck can’t believe he’s the one backing this now, but he also can’t really believe his roommate is a near-virgin. 
“This can’t be happening-” Mark is still hiding his face, his ears as scarlet as ever.
“Listen, “ Hyuck sighs, “we usually fuck while you’re at church on Sundays. But if you wanted, we could wait a little and let you join after your service tomorrow.”
Mark’s eyes widen. “After my service? Are you two crazy?” 
“You don’t have to decide right now,” you assure him. “I’m sure this is a lot to take in, especially after the day you had. I don’t think I’ve congratulated you on your goal in the game today yet-”
Hyuck scoffs at how you could be bringing that up right now.
“Just think about it,” you continue, giving Mark’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “I’m going to go home now, but, tomorrow, if you want to try eating pussy, Hyuck and I will be here.”
Hyuck wonders what would happen if it was just you propositioning Mark. If he’d be more willing to agree. It’s definitely an added level of sin to have Hyuck in the room while Mark rips his virgin bandaid off, but it’s not like Hyuck’s going to leave Mark alone with you.
You’re his angel, even if you’re looking to save Mark.
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Mark can’t pay attention to the sermon. His palms are sweaty, no matter how many times he rubs them against his pants. He feels like - at any moment - a big Jesus statue could just fall over and everyone in the church would turn to him, knowing he was the cause due to his sinful thoughts.
What makes it worse, is the way he can feel blood rushing to his cock. He’s half hard at the Sunday service, and he’s never felt like a worse Christain. 
This experience definitely trumps the losing of his virginity, if that’s even possible, and he hasn’t even done anything with you yet.
But in the dark, back corners of his mind, Mark knows that will change. He knows he won’t be able to resist you, you’re just too tempting. He doesn’t have that kind of control over himself, no matter how much he wishes he did.
When the service is over, Mark stands on shaky legs, grabbing a Bible to hold in front of his crotch while he exits the place of worship to head back to the frat. 
The fresh air does little to calm his nerves. If anything, the closer he gets to his home, the more sinful he feels. He knows each step is one step closer to you, one step closer to religious paraphenia being miraculously moved by the hand of God- 
Yet, he can’t stop. He can’t even alter his course, and when he reaches the frat, he doesn’t say one word to the boys kicking around in the kitchen, he heads straight up to his room. 
When he gets to his door, Mark pauses. His hands are shaky as he reaches for the knob, and for a second, he wonders if he should knock. Taking a deep breath, Mark decides to ignore his manners, pushing into the room.
He’s almost relieved to find you and Hyuck sitting in his bed, fully clothed, watching something on Netflix. 
“Hiya, Mark,” Hyuck waves, as if their relationship isn’t about to be completely altered.
“How was Sunday service?” you ask.
“How was it?” Mark shuts the door behind himself, giving his head a little shake as he hurries over to the closet to discard his jacket. “You know, good.”
“Why are you carrying a Bible?” Hyuck asks, looking him up and down. “Did you steal that from your church?”
Panic shoots through Mark. He had most definitely accidentally stolen it from his church, wihtout giving it a second thought. His mind had been so focused on you and covering his boner- 
“I can give it back,” Mark insists, palms sweating again as he places the book gently on top of his backpack. 
“You look spooked, dude. Did some pastor try to touch you?” 
“Hyuck!” you practically scream, slapping your hand over your fuck buddy’s mouth. “You can’t say things like that!”
Hyuck mumbles something against your hand that sounds like ‘historically accurate,’ and Mark wants to strangle him. 
“You want to know why I look stressed?” Mark sighs. “Because you two are sinners who propositioned me last night!”
Hyuck moves your hand from his mouth, smirking. “Come on, Mark, be sinners with us!”
“This is not helping,” you whisper to your fuck buddy, gently pushing his shoulder before you stand from the bed, approaching Mark with an empathetic expression. “I’m sorry about last night, we shouldn’t have pushed that on you.”
“It’s okay,” Mark shakes his head, refusing to meet your gaze.
“It’s not, we’re horrible, dirty, sinful people,” you reach out, linking your pinkie with Mark’s. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes. “Forget we ever said anything.”
“I can’t forget,” Mark states, finally looking at you. He licks his lips, thinking of something else to say, but all that comes out is “I can’t forget,” and it’s the truth. 
You open your mouth, and Mark hangs on what your next words will be-
Hyuck interrupts the moment. “So are you gonna eat pussy or what?”
“Hyuck!” you yell, turning to flash a warning glare at the man who’s giggling to himself on his bed. 
Mark doesn’t even want to focus on his friend right now. Instead, he reaches out, taking your other hand gently. He gazes down at your fingers, too scared to look at your face. 
“I think…” Mark swallows the lump in his throat. “I think we should do this.”
“Really?” you ask while Hyuck lets out a loud “What?!”
“You’re both right… maybe it will be good for me.” Mark can’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth. “But- I’m not sure what I’m even ready for.”
“We can go slow,” you assure him, squeezing his hand. “Anything you’re comfortable with.”
Mark looks up at you. “Can I… can I kiss you?”
Hyuck scoffs loudly, but it’s an afterthought in Mark’s mind when you nod, reaching up to cup his face. “You can kiss me,” you tell him softly. 
Mark’s free hand reaches out to grab your waist, and he moves closer. He can feel your breath on his face. He’s never been this up close and personal with you, and you’ve never been prettier. There’s a softness in your expression, an acceptance, and it makes Mark feel confident enough to press his lips to yours.
It’s a gentle kiss - a perfect kiss - and Mark can feel the tension releasing in his shoulders. 
You step even closer, and your breasts press against his chest, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your tongue smooths over his bottom lip and Mark stifles a groan, opening his mouth just enough for his own tongue to meet yours. 
He can count the number of girls he’s kissed during his life on one hand, including you, but none of them have happened like this. Mark had never imagined he’d end up in this situation before, and despite the calming effect you have on him, he still finds himself pulling away and struggling to catch his breath.
“I want to touch you,” he admits, in fact, he’s been thinking about it all day. 
“Yeah?” There’s a sparkle in your eye and you smile at him. “Where?”
Mark can’t bring himself to say it.
You gently take his hand, bringing it to your throat. “Here?” you ask, and Mark traces his thumb over your jugular, surprised to find your heart is racing just as fast as his own. “Or…” you move his hand down, his palm cupping at your breast, “Here?” 
Mark lets out a low groan at the feeling of you. He’s touched even less boobs than he’s kissed girls in his life, and yours are absolutely perfect in his hand. 
“Mark,” you whimper, and he brushes his fingers over your pebbled nipple, peaking through your shirt. He can feel his cock throbbing in his pants, and he shifts uncomfortably. 
“Or maybe…” you move his hand lower, dragging it across your stomach until it reaches your pussy through your sweatpants, “were you thinking of touching me here?” 
He nods, still unable to speak as you guide him to apply more pressure to your core. You feel so warm, and a sinful voice in the back of his mind tells him you’re probably wet too. Or at least, he hopes you’re wet, hopes he has the same effect on you that you have on him.
You let out a soft moan, and it’s like music to his ears. You grind down slightly on his hand, wiggling your hips in a motion that’s hypnotizing. “Do you want to…” you bite at your lip, toying with the waistband of your sweats. “Do you want to put your hand inside?”
“God, yes,” Mark groans, finally finding his voice.
You pull the waistband away from your skin, giving Mark access to slip his hand below it. Then your lips find his again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he teases his fingers along your panty clad core.
You’re as wet as he’d hoped you would be, and Mark moans at the realization. 
He’s only watched porn a handful of times in his life, and always felt bad about it after, but he knows where the clit is, and he gently circles his fingers around the spot.
You gasp into his mouth, and Mark eats up the sound, applying more pressure.
“Fuck, Mark, just like that-” you tell him, threading your fingers through his hair as you deepen the kiss.
You rut your hips, grinding down on his hand, and it drives Mark wild. He wants to touch you, really touch you, without any fabric in the way, and when he opens his mouth to ask, “Can I-” you’re agreeing without even hearing the end of the sentence.
He takes a breath, and then he moves your panties to the side. 
The first swipe of his fingers through your pussy lips feels like nothing he’s ever felt before, and the wetness he collects against his skin makes his cock throb again.
He teases your opening, earning more gasps from you as your lips move to his neck. When your mouth makes contact on a spot just below his ear, a shiver runs through Mark’s entire body. He’s heard about sweet spots, but no one has ever kissed his, and the feeling has his eyes closing with pleasure.
Without a second though, Mark slides a finger into your pussy, and you mewl in his ear, holding him tighter. “So good,” you whisper as he slowly thrusts the digit in and out of you, building the confidence to add another. 
You're grinding down against him still, and his palm works your clit while his two fingers curl inside of you. The sounds you’re making are increasing in pitch and frequency, and you’re gently pulling on his hair, licking at the spot on his neck that has his body tingling. 
He’s never made a girl cum before, but he can tell by the way you’re reacting, that he’s going to get you there. He wants to get you there, more than he’s wanted any goal he’s ever scored in a soccer game. 
The cool weight of the cross around his neck has Mark wondering if he’s going to go to hell for this. But can he really go to hell for something that feels this good? This right?
“I’m close,” you tell him. “Don’t stop.” 
Mark works his fingers into you even faster, eager to have you coming undone on his hand-
A clinking sound in the periphery makes Mark’s eyes open, and when he looks over at Hyuck’s bed, he sees his friend wiggling out of his pants.
“Dude, what the Hell-” Mark freezes, making an attempt to pull his hand from your pants, but you latch onto his wrist, shaking your head.
“No, Mark, please, I’m so close, please-” There’s a look of desperation in your eye, and it has him swallowing thickly, focusing on you while he picks up his motions again.
“I’ll wait,” Hyuck says in the background, and there’s some comfort in that at least.
“Mark, it feels so good, you’re so good at this-” you praise him, whispering in his ear while you work your hips faster against his hand.
“Oh God-” Mark groans, watching your face contort with pleasure. 
“There’s no God here, dude,” comes Hyuck’s snarky voice.
Mark’s eyes begin to shift to his friend, but you cup his face, forcing him to look at you. “Focus on me,” you tell him. “Like I’m focused on you.” 
He swallows thickly, breathing deeply as he fingers you harder, earning all sorts of sinful moans that drown out anything Hyuck could ever bring to the situation.
“Yes, Mark, yes- I’m gonna-” You’re gasping now, and you can’t even finish your sentence. Your pussy clenches around Mark’s fingers, your lips finding his as you cum. 
He continues his motions, wanting to draw out every second of pleasure that he can-
Mark has heard all sorts of ideas about what Heaven could look like, but he’s never heard that Heaven could be standing in your frat house room, hand down your best friend’s fuck buddy’s pants, with her pussy throbbing around your fingers. 
You begin to shake, reaching down to grab at his forearm, and Mark knows you’re finished. He doesn’t want to hurt you, and he pulls his hand away, marveling at the slick that’s covering his digits.
“Here,” you say gently, grabbing his wrist to guide his fingers to your mouth, licking them clean. Then you reach for him, bringing your mouth close to his own. “Taste me.”
Mark’s never kissed a girl so fast in his life, and he groans at the flavour of your tongue. If this is what your pussy tastes like, Mark had missed out by passing up the opportunity to eat you out, but at the same time, he’s really not sure if he’s ready for that yet.
“Okay, you two,” Hyuck’s voice makes Mark draw back from you. “This is enough teasing, I’ve gotta fuck something now or I’m gonna explode. Mark, are you staying?”
The church boy swallows thickly and then he shakes his head. If he’s not ready to eat you out, he’s definitely not ready to watch his best friend fuck you. “I’ve gotta…” he stumbles for an excuse. “I’m gonna go shower.”
“Right, shower,” Hyuck rolls his eyes. “Have fun with that.”
You go in for one last kiss before Hyuck is pulling you away from Mark, and he watches for just a moment while Hyuck presses his own mouth against yours-
Mark tears his eyes away, reaching for a towel in his closet before escaping the room.
The towel covers his boner while he runs down the hallway to the bathroom, and he strips himself naked in record time, stepping into a shower stall.
His hand is around his throbbing cock not two seconds later, and Mark throws his head back, closing his eyes while his brain struggles to process everything that’s just transpired. 
It doesn’t take long for him to work himself to the edge. His toes curl against the vinyl floor, and his vision goes practically black as he cums. 
There’s no time to aim, and Mark feels sticky warm fluid coat his chest, but his hand doesn’t stop. He jacks himself off until he’s a nearly overstimulated, gasping mess, and he thanks God for the water cleaning his body of the sinful filth.
He’s never cum this hard in his entire life.
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You’re at your usual Wednesday lunch with the girls before class when you notice one of your friend’s looking at something over your shoulder. She’s done this a few times now, but when you turn in your seat to assess the room, you don’t see anything out of the ordinary.
“Are you looking at someone?” you question.
“It’s just…” Hyuna leans forward. “Did you do something to Mark?”
“What?” you look behind you again, thoroughly confused.
“Every time you turn, he pulls his baseball cap down,” she explains. “He’s over there, by the window. Green cap.”
When you scan the area again, you do notice a pair of cute red ears sticking out from a baseball cap, the guy’s head downcast as if he’s just staring at his french fries.
“How many times has he looked over here?” you ask, grinning.
“Like, a lot.” Hyuna cocks her head. “You did do something to Mark.”
You stand up, leaning forward. “Actually, he did something to me.” With a wink to your girls, you turn to head off toward Mark’s table.
He looks up once during your approach, and you see him scrambling with his bag. It would be very entertaining to watch him run away from you again, but he doesn’t have the chance, as you arrive before he’s done shoving papers into his binder. 
“Hey, you.” You take the seat across from him. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” His voice is shaky, and you find it adorable. 
“You know…” you reach your foot out under the table, grazing it by his calf. “I can’t get you out of my head either.”
Mark coughs, adjusting the cap on his head. “What?” 
“I said, I can’t get you out of my head either.” You’re enjoying the effect you have on him, and you’re very aware of how public the space is. You don’t think Mark’s going to confirm that he’s been thinking about you, so instead, you ask, “Are you planning to go to church on Sunday?”
“Yeah, of course,” he swallows thickly. 
“Do you think you’ll be able to pay attention while you’re there?” 
“I uh, I-” Mark stutters over his words. “I think so?”
You study the pretty virginal frat boy. As soft as you’ve been with him so far, you feel like teasing him, just to see how he reacts. “Just so you know, if, while you’re at Sunday service, a Jesus picture falls down, it’s because Jesus knows what you did.”
Mark lets out a groan, and you see his neck has turned red now too. “I-” Mark’s gaze dips down to your breasts, which are pushed together in your low neckline shirt as you lean forward. “I have to go-” he grabs his things, fumbling with all of them while he stands abruptly. 
The loud sound of his chair scraping across the ground draws a few eyes, and the pool boy nearly knocks the table over in his haste. You notice the way he immediately holds his binder over his crotch, and you lick your lips while looking up at him.
“See you later,” he mumbles, running away.
You watch him enter the men’s bathroom, and you think you can imagine what he’s going in there to do. Last time he’d run away from you, Hyuck had mentioned he was probably going to jack off in the showers.
The frat bathroom is one thing for a quick wank, but a public restroom is another.
You shake your head, walking back to your girls table, Mark’s tray of fries in your hand. They’re all gawking at you. 
“Damn,” Hyuna whistles. “I know you just said he did things to you, but girl, you definitely did a number on that church boy.” 
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There’s nothing Hyuck loves more in the world than making you cum on his cock. He loves the noises you make, gripping at his bed sheets as your orgasm overtakes you. He loves being the source of your high.
What he doesn’t love however, is the way that today, you immediately ask, “How’s Mark doing?” as Hyuck pulls out of you.
He can’t help but laugh slightly, shaking his head at you. “Been acting weird all week.” 
“Do you think he’s going to join us tomorrow after church? I’m kind of shocked he wasn’t here today, if I’m being honest.”
“Is that why you came over? Wanted to see your precious little Mark?” Hyuck lands a smack to your inner thigh that has you giggling. “And yeah. He’ll probably join tomorrow. Jeno says he’s walked in on Mark jacking off in the shower like, four times this week. It’s actually starting to be a bit of a problem.”
“Is frat boys jacking off in the shower not a common occurrence around here?”
“It is, but not when it’s Mark,” Hyuck laughs. “That guy needs to get fucked.”
“I’m not sure he’s ready for that yet.” 
Hyuck studies you. “What makes you say that?”
“Just a feeling.”
“Well, maybe he just needs to cum properly.”
You sit up, teasing your hands over Hyuck’s thighs. “Tell me, how does a guy ‘cum properly.’”
“Buried inside something nice, and wet, and warm,” Hyuck reaches out to grasp your chin. “Your mouth would work.”
You laugh at the idea, “Maybe if he lets me,” and Hyuck grins, getting off the bed to pull on his pants. 
“I’m gonna head to the kitchen for water, need anything?”
“Just you,” you tease. “Hurry back.”
“You got it, angel,” Hyuck winks at you before heading to the door. He pulls on his shirt as he exits the room, but just when he gets his head through the neck hole, he catches a quick glimpse of one mister Mark Lee rushing into the bathroom at the end of the hall.
Had Mark been listening this whole time? Had he been outside of the door, listening to Hyuck fuck you? 
The thought makes Hyuck laugh again, and his ego triples in size. There’s something very… intriguing about this whole situation with the frat’s ‘designated’ virginal church boy, even if this experience is making Hyuck rethink his ideas of commitment. 
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If the last Sunday service had been torture, today might just be Hell for Mark. 
He’s sweating, shaking even, his knee bobbing up and down anxiously while he sits in the back row. 
He’d returned the Bible he’d stolen last time, but he fears that he might end up taking it again. Every time he thinks about you, thinks about what it felt like to have his hand down your pants while you sucked on his neck- 
No, he can’t think about it. He can’t-
But it’s too late, he feels his cock growing in his pants, and shame washes over him. He runs a hand through his hair, fanning himself and taking deep breaths. 
It’s not ten minutes into the hour long service, and already, he’s at his breaking point. 
Mark battles with himself for another two minutes, and he finally gives up. When everyone stands to sing, he quietly excuses himself from the back row, ducking out of the church without looking back. 
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“Mark?” you sit up hastily from Hyuck’s embrace, blinking at the boy who’s just entered the room. “You’re back from church early!”
“Yeah, I couldn’t sit through it,” Mark mumbles, throwing his jacket in the closet before collapsing on his bed, running a hand through his hair.
“That’s unlike you,” Hyuck sits up next to you. “Are you sick or something?”
“Definitely sick in the head,” Mark groans. 
“Enjoying sex doesn’t make you bad,” you tell him. “Besides, we haven’t even fucked yet.”
Mark sighs. “Yet.”
“So you were thinking about her fucking you while you were in church,” Hyuck grins next to you. “That’s sinful, Mark.”
“I know!” Mark flops onto his stomach, shoving his face against his pillow.
You look at Hyuck, and he makes a face, motioning to his friend. ‘Say something’ he mouths.
‘No, you say something!’ you mouth back.  
Instead, Hyuck simply pushes you out of his bed, and you stumble onto your feet. 
“Mark…” you approach the sulking churchboy. “I know a few things that could cheer you up.” 
Mark groans, but he sits up all the same, looking at you with eyes that tell you he wants you to elaborate.
“I was thinking…” you swallow, choosing your words. “Based on your history, it sounds like maybe you’ve never had someone go down on you before-”
“Fuck, she’s so good with her mouth,” Hyuck quips. 
“I know this whole thing started with you not eating pussy, but, seeing as you made me cum last week with your fingers, I thought I could return the favour somehow.” 
Mark’s lips part, and he allows you to take his hands, pulling him to be standing in front of you. 
“What do you say Mark?” You lean forward, your lips almost touching. “Can I suck you off? Pretty please?”
Instead of answering, he kisses you, cupping the back of your neck. 
Your first kiss with Mark had been slow and gentle, but there’s a new fire in him now, and it’s only a moment before his tongue is gliding past your lower lip, begging for entrance. You release a groan, reaching down to loop your fingers in the waistband of his pants, pulling him tighter to your body.
You can feel that he’s already hard, and you love how easy it is to turn him on. You love the way he’s already becoming more explorative in the way he interacts with you, his hand steady on the back of your neck, insistent that you stay lip locked. 
For a guy who doesn’t kiss girls much, he’s a phenomenal kisser. There’s emotion in it, and he tastes like spearmint. 
You get lost in the feeling of him, but after only a little while, you’re aching to touch him properly. Your hand slips down, cupping him through his pants. The church boy shivers at the contact, and you squeeze him. It’s the first time you’ve really touched his cock, and you bet he’s already aching-
He releases the back of your neck, and you take it as a sign to begin kissing down his body. You start at his throat, licking the sensitive spot that has him grabbing your hips and releasing a moan. He makes such pretty sounds-
You continue rubbing his cock, but when your mouth gets to his collarbone, you grab at his shirt. “Can this come off?”
“Yeah,” Mark mumbles, releasing you so he can unbutton the nice church shirt he’s wearing. 
When he discards the fabric, revealing his body to you, you simply enjoy it for a moment. 
Mark and Hyuck both have such wonderful bodies. Sure, some of your friends make good arguments about the muscled forms of Jaehyun, Johnny and Jeno, but you prefer Mark’s understated physique. 
He’s a soccer player, and his body is perfectly athletic without being too much to handle.
Your kisses begin to descend, and you find yourself pausing at the cross necklace. You lean forward and press your lips to it softly. Mark lets out a shaky breath. 
You know he’s watching you, and this is your way of showing him you still respect his religion, despite persuading him to partake in the more ‘sinful’ side of life.
“Wait,” Mark says, and he lets go of you to reach behind his neck, fumbling with the clasp. You watch him with curiosity as he removes the cross, holding it gently and placing it onto his bedside table.
You don’t think you’ve ever seen him without the gold chain around his throat, and you wonder what the removal of it could mean, but you try not to think too hard about it.
You sink to your knees on the floor, undoing his belt and looking up at Mark. If he doesn’t want this, he can stop you, and you give him more than enough time to make that decision. But Mark only watches you, breathing heavily as you undo the button, then the zipper-
“You want this?” you ask, hooking your fingers in his pants and briefs.
He nods. “I want you.”
You smile, tugging the fabrics down so they pool at his feet. 
“You have such a pretty cock,” you whisper, grabbing the base and swiping your thumb across the leaking tip. You notice the way Mark’s chest and neck flush pink, as if he’s embarrassed by your words, but you know that praise is good for Mark. 
You press a kiss to the head of his cock, suckling a little while Mark moans above you. 
It looks like he’s not sure where to place his hands, so you reach for one, placing it on your cheek while you take more of him into your mouth. 
“God-” Mark whispers.
“She feels good, right?” Hyuck asks.
“Yeah,” Mark nods. “Really good.”
Having them both give you praise has your pussy throbbing, and it encourages you to sink further down onto his cock, sucking harder-
“Shit-” Mark nearly whimpers, and you think this might be the first time you’ve heard him swear. 
You know it’s wrong, and bad, and dirty, and sinful- but there’s something about corrupting Mark that has you going insane. You bob up and down on his cock, stroking the base that you can’t reach with your mouth. 
“This is too hot,” Hyuck says. “I’ve gotta join.”
“How-” Mark begins to ask, but a second later, hands are pulling you off of Mark’s cock.
“Both of you, on the bed,” Hyuck instructs. “You’ve heard of spit roasting, right, Mark?”
“I-” the church boy’s skin is flushed again, and when you hop up on the bed, he follows, clamoring after you. 
“Look, you’ll have her mouth,” Hyuck gets on the mattress behind you, and you hear him undoing his belt, “and I’ll have her perfect pussy. It’s a win, win.”
Mark doesn’t argue, his eyes moving down to meet yours as you take his dick back into your mouth, picking up where you’d left off.
Hyuck, meanwhile, tears your pants down, and a moment later his fingers are gliding through your pussy. “Fuck, angel, you’re soaked. Sucking Mark’s cock really turns you on, huh?”
You groan a sound of affirmation around Mark, and his hand is quick to grab your head again, fingers flexing in your hair. 
“You can fuck her face if you want,” Hyuck suggests, working two fingers into you easily. “She loves getter her throat fucked-”
Mark’s hips twitch at the words, but he doesn’t follow through. You think maybe he doesn’t want to hurt you, and it’s an endearing idea.
Hyuck pulls his digits from your core, and they’re replaced with the head of his cock, which he rubs the length of your pussy, teasing your clit before pushing into you.
Your fuck buddy lets out a loud groan, his hands finding your hips as he sinks his length fully into your core. 
“Dude,” Hyuck breathes, “her pussy is literally Heaven-”
His first thrust sends you further onto Mark’s cock, and the man above you gasps when he hits the back of your throat. 
“Is fucking pussy going against God?” Hyuck asks, in an almost rhetoric manner. “Isn’t there some weird church loophole where anal doesn’t count? Her ass is great too, scout’s honor.”
At this point, you’re pretty sure Mark’s not even listening to Hyuck. He’s much too focused on your lips wrapped around him, and the sounds slipping out of him make you think maybe he’s close to the edge.
All things considered - for a guy who’s never been blown - Mark’s lasting remarkably well, but you don’t want him to last. You want him to cum, like he deserves to cum. 
When you suck harder, you feel Mark’s cock twitch, and he lets out a groan. “Shit, I’m gonna-”
“Cum in her mouth,” Hyuck states, pace getting rougher inside of you. “Do it. She’s a good girl. She’ll swallow. Fuck, it’s so hot when she swallows.” 
Mark moans, and he pushes his hips forward, sending his cock into the back of your throat. Your gag reflex is the thing that makes him cum, and an “Oh my God!” leaves his lips as he explodes down your throat.
Hyuck’s right, you are a good girl, and you swallow every drop, working Mark through his orgasm until he’s gasping. He pulls out of your mouth, and Hyuck takes the opportunity to fuck you even harder.
Now that you can moan freely, you fill the room with sounds of your own pleasure. When Mark gets off the bed, you fall onto your face, turning to press your cheek to the mattress while you watch Mark find his pants on the floor. 
His eyes meet yours, and you can see his pupils are blown. It’s so incredibly sexy to have Hyuck fucking you on Mark’s bed while Mark watches, and your pussy throbs around Hyuck’s cock. 
“Fuck, you just got so tight, angel,” Hyuck groans, fingers digging into your waist while his hips buck wildly. “Shit, I’m not going to last like this-”
You reach a shaky hand under your body, finding your clit, and it only makes your pussy clamp down harder on your fuck buddy, who releases another loud moan. 
“You close, angel? Sucking off Mark must have really got you going-” 
“I’m close,” you confirm, grabbing at the bedsheet with your free hand while your fingers continue on your clit. 
“Yeah, you are,” Hyuck growls. “That’s my good girl, my perfect angel. I want you to cum so bad, it’ll tip me over the edge- Fuck! I’m gonna fill you up so good, so fucking good-”
You love it when Hyuck talks dirty like this, and you gasp as you get closer and closer to your high-
“Come on,” Hyuck lands a smack to your ass, and the pained pleasure has you crying out, rubbing your clit harder. “Cum for me,” he commands.
It’s all you need to reach the edge, and you fall over it with a loud moan, forcing your eyes to stay open while you stare at Mark, who watches you with parted lips and a dazed expression.
“That’s it, that’s it-” Hyuck grunts, pace faltering as he cums too, fulfilling his promise of filling you up just the way you like it. He fucks you through your highs, and your hand falls from your clit to the bed, body on the cusp of overstimulation as Hyuck’s motions begin to slow.
As things come to a stop, Hyuck lets out a deep breath. “Mark, come over here, you’ve gotta see this.”
“I don’t want to look at your dick,” comes Mark’s quick retort.
“Then don’t look at my dick, look at her pussy with my cum dripping out of it. Trust me, it’s so fucking hot-” Hyuck pulls out of you, and you whine at the loss.
You watch Mark go around the side of the bed, and you can feel both of their eyes on your hole, which is already beginning to drip Hyuck’s cum-
You place a hand under your core, not wanting to get any of this on Mark’s bed, and Hyuck laughs loudly. 
“Aren’t you two worried about pregnancy?” Mark asks.
“That’s what birth control is for,” Hyuck says. “Cumming inside feels like nothing else in the whole world.”
“What about STI’s?”
“Well, I mean…” Hyuck gets off the bed, and you watch him grab a tissue from his desk, “we’re only really fucking each other and we’re both clean so…”
“Wait, you two only sleep with each other?” Mark sounds justifiably confused. “So… why aren’t you two… why aren’t you two dating?”
It’s a very good question, and from the way Hyuck brushes it off with a ‘you know’ and a topic change, it feels as if neither of you really have a good answer. “Anyways, you have to try this sometime,” Hyuck says again. “Next Sunday.” 
Mark sighs. “Can’t we do this on any day but Sunday?”
“Where would be the fun in that, church bitch?”
You let out a groan of annoyance, but you think you’re starting to understand this is just the way their relationship is. 
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Getting through a full week while being on the same campus as you is starting to feel like Mark’s own personal Hell. Every time he so much as catches a glimpse of you running between classes, blood rushes to his cock. 
Hell, even at soccer practice with Hyuck, every time Mark looks at his forward position roommate, all he can think about is the visual of Hyuck fucking you from behind on his own bed. 
By Friday, he’s too pent up to even attend his last class, and he rushes back to the frat to get some shower time.
He’s becoming much too used to jacking off in the shower, but he really can’t help himself. 
Mark feels like an absolute sinner, especially with the cross necklace around his neck. Today, something comes over him, and he takes it off, wrapping the gold chain around his right hand. He looks at it for a moment, and there’s almost something like curiosity-
He wraps his hand around his cock, flinching a little at the cold metal on his heated skin. As he begins to move his fist up and down his aching length, the bite of the necklace feels like repentance, like something he deserves. 
Mark takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he thinks about you. 
He thinks about the sounds you make, the expression on your face as you cum- how your mouth had felt on his throbbing cock- 
He can’t believe how easy it is to get himself to the edge, especially with the added pain of the necklace around his hand. Does this make him even worse? It shouldn’t be this easy to cum- it shouldn’t be, but it is.
When he reaches the edge, it’s not God’s name on Mark’s lips, it’s yours.
He gasps, body tingling as he pumps his way through it, the necklace biting into his skin-
“Jesus Christ Mark! Get a fucking room!” comes Jeno’s voice. “Some of us are just trying to fucking shower!”
The outburst makes shame flood through his body, but it also only adds to the powerful sensation in his cock, his cum shooting across his chest. 
Mark’s decides he’s definitely going to Hell for this.
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Another Saturday win for the soccer team means another frat party, and Hyuck loves the attention you give him on days when he gets a goal. You’re even touchier than usual, praising him for his skills-
Yet, Hyuck finds it hard to focus on you with Mark blatantly staring from across the room. 
Hyuck has enjoyed sharing you with his roommate, more than he ever thought he would, but tonight, he wants you for himself, and when you begin kissing his neck, pushing him against the wall, Hyuck’s had enough of this public bullshit.
“My room, now,” he commands. 
With a giggle, you turn, darting off towards the stairs, and Hyuck follows you with a smile. As he climbs the steps in twos, he gets a feeling he’s being followed, and he stops on the first landing to turn and look at Mark.
“What are you doing?”
“Huh?” Mark blinks. “I’m uh… coming with you?”
“It’s Saturday.”
“So?”
“So,” Hyuck sighs, “you only get access to angels on Sundays, all good Christians should know that.”
“But-” Mark opens his mouth to argue but Hyuck’s not in the mood for it tonight.
“No joining,” he says firmly. But as he looks at Mark’s defeated expression, Hyuck feels something like pity. “I guess you can stand outside the door and listen, you perv.”
Mark’s skin flares with embarrassment, but as Hyuck continues up the stairs, he gets the suspicion that Mark’s going to do exactly what he’d just suggested.
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When you arrive at the frat house on Sunday afternoon, Hyuck is waiting for you in the living room. He pulls you into a kiss, and his lips linger against your own, his fingers digging into your hips. “Are you ready for today, my little demon?”
You laugh. “I’m always ready. But we have to wait till Mark gets back from church.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Hyuck rolls his eyes. “We could always start without him.”
“That wouldn’t be very nice,” you note, grinning at your fuck buddy.
“Making me wait isn’t very nice,” Hyuck counters.
“It’s important to learn how to be patient,” you tell him, pressing another peck to his lips. “Come on, I’m sure we can find an episode of something to watch on Netflix.”
When you get to Hyuck’s room, the last thing you expect is to find Mark waiting for you. He’s sitting on his bed, staring at the floor, and his head snaps up as you enter.
“Mark?” You can’t hide your confusion. “Shouldn’t you be at church?”
“I’m not going today,” he states, standing and placing his cross necklace on the bedside table.
“Is something wrong?” you ask, walking over to grab his hands, assessing him for head injury.
“Everything is wrong,” Mark sighs. “Doing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But… as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.”
Hyuck lets out a whistle behind you, and you hear him locking the door. “Damn, Mark, I’m actually kind of impressed.”
“So…” you look into Mark’s eyes, “does this mean you’re ready?”
He nods. “Yeah… I’m ready.”
“Are you sure about that, church boy?” your fuck buddy asks. “Do you want us to put up a cross and see if it falls down as a sign that God thinks you’re a sinner?”
Mark takes a deep breath, and his eyes shift to Hyuck over your shoulder. “Fuck God, and fuck the cross.”
Your lips part in shock, and Mark takes that moment to grab your face and kiss you. It’s the hungriest kiss you’ve had from him so far, and you melt into his embrace, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and pressing your chest to his own. 
His tongue explores yours, as confident as ever, and his hands move down to your hips, needy and rough. When his palm slips down to grab your ass, your moan loudly, all consumed by this new Mark. 
“Shit, dude,” Hyuck whispers from behind you. “Guess I should stop calling you church boy.” 
Mark lets out a groan, and then he’s tossing you onto his bed. A squeal of delight escapes you at the roughness of it all. 
“I wanna taste you,” Mark states, breathing heavily as he looks down at you with dark eyes.
“Then taste me,” you say simply, already grabbing at your pants to push them down.
Mark helps you tug them off, and then his own fingers are hooking in the waistband of your panties, tearing them down your legs with one rough motion.
“Oh my God, Mark-” you gasp, shocked at his sudden change in attitude.
The man who gets on the bed between your legs isn’t the same man who had whimpered while he fingered you two weeks ago. He’s not a soft church boy worried about boundaries, he’s a confident man who knows what he wants. And what he want is you. 
You can’t even take a moment to breathe before Mark’s pressing his tongue against your pussy, hands firmly grabbing at your thighs while he licks a stripe of your most sensitive area.
“Fuck,” you groan, reaching down to thread your fingers through his hair.
His response is a moan that sends shivers through your body, his lips suctioning around your clit like he’s a seasoned pro. There’s no hesitation or worry about correctness, there’s only a pussy deprived man who seems to know exactly what to do to have your toes curling as you drag them across his back.
You’ve had good oral sex before, Hyuck’s particularly skilled in this field, but as wild as your fuck buddy is, he’s never been feral like this. 
Mark’s tongue is unpredictable, lapping at you and pushing into your hole, teasing your walls as he rubs his nose against your clit. “Shit, Mark, you’re so good-”
“Better than me?” Hyuck asks.
You hate to admit it, but when a strangled “Yes!” leaves your lips, it only makes Mark go harder on you. 
You have no brain space to focus on Hyuck, your eyes closed as Mark’s tongue pleasures you like no one ever has before. 
It’s like he knows your body already, as if he’s divinely guided- 
The thought has your pussy throbbing, and as if he senses your need, Mark lets go of one of your thighs, adjusting so he can slip a finger into you while his tongue returns to your clit.
“Shit, just like that-” you gasp, legs quivering over his shoulders.
Another digits slips into your wet hole, and more moans leave you as the church boy finger fucks you even better than he did last time. 
You’re consumed by Mark, completely, and it feels like Heaven to get lost in the pleasure he’s providing you. 
You apply a bit of pressure on his head, wanting him to go harder on you, and he rewards you by sucking your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking the sensitive bud.
“Fuck-” you moan, pushing your hips up toward his face. You’re already so close to cumming that it’s almost insane, and you trust that this time, nothing Hyuck could do in your periphery would prompt Mark to let up on you.
He seems Hellbent on getting you to the edge, and as his fingers crook up to stroke your gspot, you know he’s going to accomplish his task with flying colours. 
“Sounds like she’s close, dude,” Hyuck muses, reading your reactions like the back of his hand.
When you turn your head to open your eyes, you find Hyuck has his cock out, and he’s stroking it, gaze fixed on the man between your legs. 
There’s something so… fulfilling about being watched like this. To know that Hyuck’s just as turned on as you and Mark, even though he’s taking no part in your pleasure. 
Hyuck has a nice cock, and the sight of his fist wrapped tightly around it has even more lust coursing through your body. 
To have both men worshipping you in this way- it’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. 
“I’m gonna-” you stutter, licking your lips as the pleasure builds between your legs.
“Cum for me,” Mark groans against your pussy. “Please, angel, I want you to cum.” 
The ‘please’ is the cherry on top, as is the petname that usually only Hyuck ever uses on you, and combined, they throw you over the edge. 
You cry out, rutting your pussy against Mark’s face while he tongue and finger fucks you through your orgasm.
The church boy lets out sinful sounds, and you can tell he’s enjoying being used like this, enjoying making you come undone on his fingers. Your pussy is throbbing around him, and his unrelenting digits continue stroking the spot that has you tinging with overwhelming pleasure.
“Mark!” you nearly scream, overtaken by the kind of ecstasy you’ve never felt before. 
“Fuck, dude,” Hyuck breathes, “you made her squirt-”
You’re almost twitching when Mark finally pulls his tongue from your clit, and his fingers slow before slipping out of you. You open your eyes to watch him lick them clean, and he lets out a deep groan, clearly enjoying the taste of you.
You need him to fuck you, like you’ve never needed anyone - even Hyuck - to fuck you in your entire life. 
“Please,” you whimper. “Mark-”
“Let me get a condom,” he states, sitting up-
“No!” you reach out to grab at him, locking eyes with him as you state, “I want you raw.” 
It’s the first time today that he looks unsure. “I don’t-”
“I’m clean,” you insist, “and so are you-” 
“Bruh, just raw dog it,” Hyuck says. “Trust us-”
With one last look between your thighs, Mark relents, and he gets back on the bed, tugging off his shirt and his pants while you work on getting yourself naked. 
As soon as you’re both bare, Mark is laying his body over yours, pressing you into the bed while his lips move feverishly against your own. You tangle your fingers in his hair, enjoying the feeling of his cock trapped between your bodies, rubbing over your clit as he rocks his hips.
“Please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his hips. “Inside-” 
Mark pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily as he looks into your eyes. His gaze shifts down, and he reaches a hand to grab the base of his length, teasing it against your pussy.
You moan loudly as he toys with your clit, and then he’s testing the head of his cock against your aching hole. The tip slips just inside and you whimper, only for him to pull back, then do it again-
“God, Mark-” You dig your nails into his shoulders, throwing your head back against the pillows and closing your eyes.
He pushes his cock deeper inside of you, and you both let out groans of pleasure. His mouth returns to yours while he slowly sinks into your pussy, until his hips are flush against your own. 
“Fuck,” Mark whimpers, twitching from the new sensation. 
“Told you raw was the way to go,” Hyuck says, as if he’s the most helpful person in the room.
Both you and Mark ignore your fuck buddy, and Mark takes a test thrust that has you both gasping. 
“Just like that,” you encourage him. “Fuck, you’re doing so good-” 
His lips return to yours, and the kiss takes your breath away as he begins to find a slow pace. Each thrust is deep, intentional, and in some odd way, this doesn’t feel like fucking. Fucking is hard, fast, fevered- but this is different. This is more like making love.
Mark sucks on your bottom lip, and he adjusts one of his hands so it can come up to grab at your breast, his thumb ghosting over your nipple and making you shiver. Your body reacts, pussy throbbing around Mark’s cock, and he groans into your mouth.
“Feels like Heaven,” he whispers, massaging your boob with a loving hand. 
Your skin tingles at his words. You can take the church boy out of church, but you can't take the church out of the church boy. 
His pace is getting faster, and each thrust has the pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. It’s insane how this is Mark’s first time- it sounds like he hadn’t gotten far with the last girl he’d had under him before the Jesus picture incident- 
He’s an absolute natural, and each brush of his lips against yours has you feeling closer to him than ever before. His cock fits perfectly in your pussy, and the sounds continuing to escape him tell you that he feels just as good as you do.
“I’m not-” Mark gasps, kisses moving to your throat. “I’m not going to last long-”
“That’s okay,” you assure him, gently rubbing his back. “I’m proud of you.”
He groans, sucking on your neck. Mark’s hand moves down to your hip, anchoring you to the bed while he ruts into you faster. You know you’re close, but it can be hard to cum without clit stimulation, so you sneak your own palm down your abdomen, fingers seeking out your most sensitive spot.
You both groan when you make contact with your clit, and Mark’s breath is hot against your throat. “You close?” he asks.
“Almost,” you nod, rubbing soft circles around your clit while Mark’s cock slides in and out of your pussy. 
“Ya’ll better cum quick or I might bust a nut just watching.” Hyuck’s voice makes you laugh, but the laugh quickly becomes a moan as Mark fucks you harder, fingers digging into your hip.
“I’m so close,” Mark whispers. “Please, this feels too good-” 
“Mark,” you whimper, loving how sweetly he talks to you while buried balls deep in your pussy. 
“Please, angel, I can’t hold on much longer-”
Your skin tingles at the idea that he’s working hard not to cum, that he won’t allow himself to get there until you can reach your high with him. He’s such a soft boy, the most perfectly wonderful man you’ve ever fucked-
“I’m gonna-” you bite at your lip, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of ecstasy that you’re so close to reaching- 
“Cum with me,” Mark begs. “Cum with me, angel, cum-”
The desperation in his voice is what finally sends you over the edge, and you gasp as your core clamps down on him. Mark echoes your sound of pleasure, groaning loudly in your ear as his fingers dig into your hip. 
You can feel him filling you up, and it makes you extra sensitive as you ride out your orgasm, clutching his shoulders like a lifeline. 
To Mark’s credit, he fucks you through it, hips only faltering slightly before the end.
When you’re both done, you pull your hand away from your clit, and Mark all but collapses on top of you, breathing heavily as he buries his face against your neck. 
You can hardly have a moment of peace with Mark before Hyuck’s pulling at his shoulder. “My turn,” your fuck buddy insists. “Come on dude, I’ve been waiting forever-”
A laugh bubbles out of you at Hyuck’s antics, and with a loud groan, Mark gets off of you. There’s a dazed look in his eyes as he rolls onto his back in the small twin bed next to you. You wonder if he’s going to just lay there-
Hyuck’s not having it, and he reaches down to scoop you up in his arms, tossing you onto his own mattress. 
“Fuck, angel,” Hyuck looks down at your body. “How do you want it?”
You consider it for a moment, and then roll onto your stomach, lifting your hips as an invitation.
Hyuck groans loudly. “God, you’re perfect.”
He’s straddling your legs not a second later, grabbing your waist to tug you up a little bit more while he glides his cock between your closed thighs, grazing your pussy. 
“Shit, this is going to be so good,” Hyuck mutters to himself, using one hand to wrap around the base of his cock and guide it to your entrance.
He moans as he slips inside. “Fuck- I’ve never banged you using another guy’s cum as lube before, but shit, angel, I could get used to this.”
His words make you feel dirty, sinful even, a little like a whore- but something inside of you actually enjoys it. 
“Hyuck-” you whimper at how good the position feels. With your legs closed and your ass in the air, things feel more snug, and the angle has Hyuck hitting a sweet spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
“I know, angel,” Hyuck assures you. “Feels fucking fantastic.”
His breath is hot against your back as he begins rutting into you, and you grab onto Hyuck’s pillow, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne that has perfumed the material. 
“You look so good like this,” your fuck buddy says, and the slapping of his hips against your ass is making you go crazy. “I’m never going to get used to the way you look with my cock buried in your perfect fucking pussy.”
Your grip on his pillow tightens, the praise going straight to your core, which throbs around him.
“Yeah, I know you love it when I praise you. You just love being made out to be an angel while doing dirty shit an angel would never do.” 
He knows you so well it almost hurts. And when he talks to you like this, it makes you wonder why he hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. Although, if you had been his girlfriend a few weeks ago, you would have never propositioned Mark, and the idea makes you sad.
You open your eyes, looking over at the church boy you’ve come to enjoy spending time with. 
Mark’s watching you, and as Hyuck fucks you harder, you have to break the eye contact in favour of pressing your face into the pillow. Your sounds are just getting too loud, even for a frat house.
Your pussy feels like magic, to have been fucked by Mark and now Hyuck- you know you’ll be cumming again soon, whether you want to or not.
“I can feel you clenching, angel,” Hyuck laughs, as if reading your mind. “So this is as good for you as it is for me.” 
“So good,” you confirm, which only prompts him to fuck you faster, gliding in and out of your cum lubed hole easier than ever before.
“Watching Mark have you first was torture,” Hyuck tells you. “I was so close to busting multiple times- but I held out, because we both know you’re going to love being filled with us both. Dirty fucking angel.”
You whine at his words, so close to the edge you can almost taste it.
“Don’t be shy,” the man fucking you announces, “cum on this cock. I know you want to.”
Your skin tingles on the cusp of pleasure-
“Be a good little angel and cum for us.” 
There’s something about the word ‘us’ that just does it for you, and you let out a loud gasp as you fall apart. Hyuck echoes your sound, fingers digging into your hips as he reaches his own release. He fucks you even harder, groaning while your pussy clenches around his twitching cock.
“Just like that, just like that-” he pants, encouraging you while he rides you through your highs.
You’re not sure how long you cum, but when Hyuck finally slows to a stop inside of you, you think you might just pass out from all the pleasure you’ve received in such a short time.
Your fuck buddy leans over your back, pressing a kiss to your shoulder that moves up to your neck, and you tilt your head to give him better access.
“That’s our angel,” Hyuck muses softly in your ear.
You find yourself smiling. It’s the happiest you’ve been in months. 
Nothing else matters, all there is right now is safety and love and acceptance… and maybe a little bit of filth.
When Hyuck pulls out of your pussy, you feel yourself immediately begin to drip, and you do your due diligence, shifting your hand under your body to collect the fluid so it doesn’t ruin Hyuck’s bed.
Your fuck buddy grabs a few tissues, and then he’s sitting by your thighs, spreading your ass cheeks so he can get a good look at you while he groans at the sight.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he says, gently wiping your abused hole, cleaning you of his and Mark’s cum. “I don’t think you even know how hot you are.”
He’s probably right about that, but you’re sure that if you keep doing this with him and Mark, they’ll make you learn.
When Hyuck’s done with his very basic aftercare, he flops onto the bed behind you, back to the wall while he cradles you to his chest. His lips return to your shoulder, and the soft kisses make you whimper from sensitivity.
Then- something is falling on you, and you jolt, eyes snapping open-
“Shit,” Hyuck groans, and you realize the soccer poster has slipped off the wall and onto your bodies.
Your gaze immediately goes to Mark, and you see a look of shock in his expression. “Oh my God-”
“It’s not God,” Hyuck assures you both. “It’s probably just Jeno fucking some chick on the other side of the wall.” As if to prove his point, your fuck buddy bangs the wall three times, and a moment later there are three returned bang noises. “See? Totally just Jeno fucking.”
Mark doesn’t look very convinced, and he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling while he runs his hands through his hair.
“I hope this fucking poster isn’t going to stop you from joining us again next Sunday,” Hyuck says as he pushes the symbol of Jeno’s sex life to the floor.
“Next Sunday?” Mark turns to look at you both.
“Yeah, next Sunday,” Hyuck repeats. “You do want to cum again, don’t you?”
The church boy lets out a deep sigh, but then he’s nodding. “Yeah.”
“Perfect, then it’s settled,” Hyuck grins against your shoulder. 
Your fuck buddy is something of an enigma, and you’re never quite sure if you’ve gotten him figured out. He’d started this whole thing being reluctant to allow Mark to join, but now, it seems as if he relishes the thought of having Sunday dick appointments with his best friend.
Although, as you stare at the pretty church boy in the bed across from yours, you really can’t say that you mind. 
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I just love Markhyuck?
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔮 preview. “I’m bad?” Hyuck gasps in shock. “Says the people fucking in an accesibility washroom?” He has a point there, and even Mark lets out a chuckle while he presses his lips firmly to your neck, his hips beginning to thrust so he can glide his cock in and out of your wet pussy.“I expect this from her, but from you, church boy?” Hyuck shakes his head while leaning back against the locked door, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m still shocked by how sinful you’ve become.”
cw/ tw. Exhibitionism, threesome, hand job, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, mention of fingering and pussy eating, praise, some degradation with affectionate use of ‘whore/slut’, the constant ‘sin’ mentions, slight cumplay/leaving panties on after having 2 men’s cum in you, bathroom sex, etc… I petnames. (hers) angel. (mark’s) church boy. 
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2k I teaser wc. 270
🌙 staring. Haechan & Mark x afab!reader
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bonus
It’s been something like four months since you and Hyuck invited Mark into your unconventional relationship, and so much has changed since then. Having battled for a long time with perceived self-worth, it seemed that the inclusion of a friend within the relationship was all Hyuck had needed to realize his deeper feelings for you, and feel comfortable enough to share them.
Now, Hyuck’s having the best sex of his life with his two best friends in the entire world. Despite Hyuck’s growth, however, it’s clear that the person most changed by your relationship is none other than the OG church boy himself.
Hyuck had thought he’d been horny when he entered university, but it feels as if Mark’s pent-up energy has made him significantly hornier. 
Sitting in class, knowing you and Mark have a spare right now… well, Hyuck can only imagine what the two of you might be up to. As the lecture gets particularly boring, Hyuck pulls out his phone, opening snapchat maps to see if he can pinpoint you and his roommate.
Hyuck’s not shocked to find you were both active on snapchat ten minutes ago, in a building closeby. He’d never been one for maps, but since you and Mark had started fucking, Hyuck had been forced to learn all feasible sexcipade locations on campus. If he’s not mistaken, you and Mark are in one of the single occupancy accessibility bathrooms on the first floor of the arts building, and the thought makes him swallow thickly. 
With one last look at his boring teacher, Hyuck grabs his backpack and he slinks out of the lecture hall.
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general taglist
@gotshinct - @subhyuck - @fraechan - @learnthisfeeling
@runahways - @d-abin - @milkteade - @woogyuhae 
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@ninetechculture - @yungiland - @suhsfam - @binchangf
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@learnthisfeeling - @gigilame - @cumtrov3rsy
@mocha000 - @darthlunaa​ - @just-here-to-read-01​ - @shiningnono
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✘ nct taglist
@milkyway-vxm - @nctsawrus - @shiningdery - @freezerandfame
@fairieblog - @fairybr3ad - @peachyjaemin - @chemaistry
@sehunniepot
and thanks to those who reblogged the teaser :)
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roll-for-gaslight · 14 days
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While I think Sklonda is right to be critical of the Bad Kids and specifically Kristen, I think that a lot of the reason she did so is that she was missing a lot of context the other parents were given. We see in Freshman Year that she’s often given the information about their quests from Riz, several hours after the fact, and he shares clues with her rather than personal things. He doesn’t think the personal bits are what she cares about because, for him, that’s not the problem being solved. He’s happy with his friends and she only really would hear if one of them caused a problem. Her apartment isn’t a hangout like Seacaster Manor, Mordred Manor, the Thistlespring Tree, or even Gilear’s season one apartment were. By the nature of her being a single working mother in a difficult financial situation, she often was left out of extracurricular activities.
For example, Mordred is obviously a place filled with a lot of activity, and plenty of kids to give updates on said activity if something slips through the cracks of someone’s retelling. If Adaine leaves out a personal moment because she’s focused on the case, Fig or Kristen or even Ragh could fill in that blank, plus the fact that the other BKs spend a lot of time there means that Sandralynn, Jawbone, and Lydia are usually getting every side of every story. The Thistlespring Tree is where the Bad Kids go not just because it’s a nice place to spend time, but because it’s often directly tied into a plot or subplot! The power source in season one, the satellite in season two, and Gorgug’s artificer journey + the whole Frosty Faire thing going on now! Besides that, the Thistlesprings have raised Gorgug in a way that encourages open channels of communication about his emotions above all else, so he tells them what’s going on! Fabian’s parents over at Seacaster Manor haven’t been involved so much this season, but Bill Seacaster saw their bond from the start and taught them how to take care of each other and fight as a group, and Gilear has always been heavily involved in their adventures because all of the BKs have been emotionally invested in him as well!
Aside from that, she’s missing the context of actually being able to attend their quests like some other parents/guardians were able to in Sophomore Year! Gilear and Cathilda and Sandralynn all know things like the fact that everyone was worried about Riz and called him their little angel when he was gone and that Kristen saved him almost at the expense of her own life in the Nightmare King’s forest. She never sees them together, the way they’ll risk everything for each other when the chips are down, the way they all show they care in little ways all the time ( like Fig giving him the card or Fabian’s gifts in Freshman Year). She doesn’t understand that while “the Ball” may have come from a bully on the first day of school, it turned into a term of endearment! She doesn’t see how hard they’ve been trying this year to pass their classes and such, not because it matters to them, but because they know it’s important to Riz. He never even explained the whole needing scholarships thing to them! He showed up with folders on the first day, stressed out of his mind about all of them passing together, and basically decided to get their shit together! Sure, it took Kristen and Fig a little while to do it, but that’s because they were struggling to build better habits!
I also understand how she could think Riz does all of the heavy lifting: when he presents the clues to her and he’s their lead investigator, do you think she assumed other people did the finding? Absolutely not! She doesn’t see the way they put things together by focusing on their individual strengths; she only sees Riz trying to put it all together and find the connections. Why would she know that a lot of the investigative work was done by Adaine and Kristen in sophomore year because so much of it had to do with religion? She wouldn’t!
All this to say: Sklonda is a good mom for checking in with Riz, but she also has a narrow view of things that no one else has. If she were to be exposed to the BKs more often and actually pay attention to how things work between them, I think she would be much more understanding.
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munson-blurbs · 10 months
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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
Summary: Grandma's funeral brings out a side of Ms. Sweetheart that Eddie hasn't ever seen, leaving the two of them questioning everything they've built up together.
Warnings: funeral service (I tried to keep it as neutral as possible so it could apply to any religion), mentions of cause of Grandma's death, failed attempt at sex, pretty much all angst sorry
WC: 5.1k
Chapter 10/20
Divider credit to @saradika Harris's note credit to @girlwiththerubyslippers
Eddie can’t remember the last time he went to a funeral. It might’ve been for one of Wayne’s friends, or a distant great-aunt twice removed. He doesn’t even own a proper suit for such an occasion; everything he’s wearing actually belongs to Wayne. He smooths down the creases in his black slacks; the material of anything other than worn denim is foreign against his legs. The elbows of his coat jacket are patched, and he slides his palms over them in embarrassment.
He takes a seat in one of the back rows, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible while the other mourners file in. There’s a pit growing in his stomach as his gaze swoops to the coffin resting at the front of the room. The realization that Grandma was inside was almost too much for him to handle, and he’d only met her a month ago. He hadn’t known her when she was…herself, but he saw glimpses of her now and again. The last time he was over for a Wednesday night dinner, she rested her head on his shoulder as though she’d done it a million times. You’d mouthed sorry, but Eddie had simply smiled and let Grandma stay there as long as she wanted. If he was being honest, he felt special, knowing that she was comfortable with him.
Eddie’s eyes are only drawn from the casket when he sees you walk among your family. He immediately takes note of your face, normally soft and vibrant, now stoic and emotionless. It’s a sharp contrast to your relatives, who wear their grief through bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The hymn playing in the background fades out as a man speaks up at the podium. 
Eddie’s barely listening, keeping his attention on you. He watches your mouth move as you recite the prayers along with the rest of your family, though he’s only half-listening to them. He’s never been one for organized religion, but he echoes the closing statement when everyone else does. 
That’s when you stand up, smoothing down your dress at the back of your thighs, and walk towards the front of the room. You’re clutching a piece of paper in your hand, which Eddie notices is slightly trembling. He locks eyes with you, dragging his teeth along his bottom lip and offers the smallest of encouraging smiles. You acknowledge it with a tiny nod in his direction before taking a deep breath and beginning the eulogy. 
“Um, h-hi.,” you start, stumbling over your words awkwardly. You clear your throat and try again. “Thank you all for coming to honor and remember Grandma. It’s evident that she meant a lot to so many people. 
“When I was writing this eulogy, I kept thinking about who she was as a person.” You don’t let your gaze drift from Eddie’s, and you could swear that he’s the only force keeping you from crumbling to the ground in a heap of grief. “For a lot of us, we wonder what ‘big thing’ will define our lives. The occasion that people will remember us by, you know? But with Grandma, there wasn’t one ‘big thing.’ Her life was a series of little kindnesses that she made sure to sprinkle into her everyday life. Like, when I was a kid, my dad broke his ankle. My mom couldn’t leave me home alone, so Grandma drove him to and from the hospital and stayed with him while he waited. She always took care of us. 
“One of my favorite memories is how she would bring me a bouquet of flowers after every dance recital I was in. She’d be waiting for me by the stage door with a big smile on her face, telling me what a great job I did, even if I totally messed up…she was the best. All she wanted was for the people she loved to be happy. 
“And that’s what I associate with Grandma—love. How much I loved her, and how much she loved us. Just a few weeks ago, she was sharing Oreos with the kid I tutor, and it reminded me of how she used to be with me.” At that line, Eddie feels his lip quiver, tears dampening his lashes, and he ducks his head to keep you from seeing him break. This time, it’s more for your sake than his, since you’re leaning on him to remain upright. “I encourage all of you to find the little kindnesses in life, and to be the kindness in someone’s day. 
“Grandma, you are already so missed. I hope you’re seeing the values you instilled in each of us. Rest easy. We’ll take it from here.” The only sounds in the entire room are the heels of your shoes clacking on the floor and sniffling from nearly everyone else in the congregation. You take your seat quietly, bowing your head as though trying to hide.
The rest of the service is a blur of hymns and prayers; nothing, Eddie notes, nearly as moving as the eulogy you gave. He barely notices when the people around him start moving, keeping a watchful eye on you. You’re trying to blend in amongst your black-clad relatives, but Eddie has no problem finding you. He cranes his neck just in time to see your family make a right through the doors, while you pivot left. 
Instinctively, his hands tuck into his pants pocket as he fumbles for his cigarettes and lighter. He has no idea what to say to you, no idea where to even begin. He needs a smoke or three to clear his head before he sees you and stammers out some half-witted acknowledgment of your loss. There’s no time for that; however, because as soon as he steps outside, he sees you sitting on the steps. It’s freezing outside, but your arms are bare, and Eddie can see the prickle of goosebumps lining your skin.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” he asks, drawing your attention as he takes a seat next to you. He shrugs off his own jacket, placing it over your shoulders without a second thought. 
You offer him a sad smile, tugging the coat so it covers more of you. You didn’t realize how cold you were until you felt the contrast of his body heat. “Trying to avoid my family,” you admit, placing your hand over Eddie’s. “Could you take me home? I got a ride here from my uncle, but I really don’t want to go out to eat with everyone.” They’re probably arguing over where to get lunch right now, acting as though their matriarch isn’t about to be lowered into the ground.
“You sure?” Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together in concern. “I mean, I don’t mind, but I don’t want to take you away from them or anything.” He can picture the sneers he’ll receive, a pit forming in his stomach.
You remain unfazed to the conundrum he faces. “Trust me, you’d be doing me a favor. I can’t…” your voice catches, so you restart your sentence. “I can’t sit there while everyone’s smiling and laughing. That’s what happens when an old, sick person dies; people don’t even try to hide their relief. I need…I need to be alone.” You tuck your lips inside your mouth, attempting to bury your feelings.
Eddie nods, reaching over to take his keys out of the jacket you’re now wearing. “Yeah, no, I get it. We can get outta here.” He stands up, takes your hand in his to help you to your feet, and leads you to the car as inconspicuous as possible. The last thing either of you need is to be confronted by one of your relatives.
The two of you sit in the car quietly, without even the radio on. Eddie can’t remember the last time he’s had a silent car ride; he either has music playing, Harris yammering his ear off, or a combination of both. He keeps his hands at ten and two, internally debating whether or not to rest one on your knee. It wouldn’t be a sexual thing, not even close, but he doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. His grip remains steady, the hum of the engine is the only sound.
You take this time to study him, taking in the crow’s feet that line the edges of his eyes, the tiny patch of stubble that he’d missed while shaving, the slight dimple in his chin. You try and turn before he can catch you, and though your efforts are fruitless, he doesn’t quite call you out on it. “Y’good?”
“Y-Yeah,” you stutter, smoothing a part of your dress that isn’t wrinkled. “Could you come inside for a little while? I thought I wanted to be by myself, but I really want you to stay.”
You really want him to stay. Not just that you need company, but you want him specifically. The notion sets all of Eddie’s nerve endings alight. “‘Course,” he replies, perhaps a bit too casually to cover up his excitement over the realization that he brings you some form of comfort.
When he pulls into the apartment complex’s parking lot and shuts off the ignition, he takes the opportunity to hold your hand again. It’s so much different than when he held it a few days earlier on your date, when there was an atmosphere of joy and hope. Now it’s like he’s pulling you along, like his lead is what has you placing one heel-clad foot in front of the other.
You unlock the door, accidentally leaving the key within its latch, and Eddie quietly removes it and places it on the table. His fingers ghost your biceps to remove your–his–coat from your body, but you just pull it on farther like a safety blanket.
“Y’want coffee? ‘M gonna put on a pot,” you offer quietly, already heading over to the kitchen. You scoop out a serving of coffee grounds for you, inhaling the hazelnut scent before dumping it into the basket, glancing over at him for his response.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he nods, and you put another scoop in before filling the carafe with tap water. With a flick of the power button, the Black + Decker rumbles and kicks on, and the drip drip drip of coffee fills the room.
You grab two mugs from the cupboard and place them on the counter. “How’d you even find out about the funeral?” 
Eddie walks over, though he feels as though he can’t get close enough. He just wants to hold you tight and never let go, but you’ve put up some sort of barrier that he can’t quite interpret. “Oh, um, I asked Byers. I hope you don’t mind–I tried calling you, but it said the line was disconnected.”
Your cheeks burn. “That was Grandma.” Eddie looks confused–rightfully so–and you elaborate. “The morning that she…she got annoyed with the phone ringing, so when I wasn’t looking, she took the scissors and cut the wire.”
Eddie’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You’re joking.”
“I wish I was. I left the house for a few minutes to get a new phone, and when I came back, she’d fallen asleep and…” you swallow thickly, rummaging through the refrigerator for the tiny carton of half-and-half, “…and she never woke up. First call I made with the new phone was to 9-1-1, but it was too late.” Too late. That’s what the EMTs told you: I’m sorry, but it’s too late. 
“Oh, Sweetheart. My sweet girl…” Eddie’s heart lurches, and he instinctively reaches out to you. One hand lays between your shoulder blades while the other rubs up and down your spine. He’s careful not to let it drop too low, never going past the small of your back. Though you’re pressed flush to his chest, there’s still a strange disconnect between you. 
Despite every urge you have to cling to him, you pull away and shove a teaspoon into the sugar bowl, sliding it towards him on the counter. “S’okay. I mean, it’s not, but…they said she’d had a heart attack. If I didn’t get the phone, I wouldn’t have been able to call for an ambulance anyway.” The dripping of the coffee maker slows as it finishes brewing. “Only thing I could do is go back in time and stop her from cutting the wires, and Melvald’s was all outta time machines,” you joke, but it falls flat.
Eddie frowns, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the countertop. “You don’t have to do this, y’know.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Pretend like you’re alright,” he explains, voice hardly louder than a whisper. He tucks a lock of hair behind his ear.
You feel an anger rising within you, though you’re unable to pinpoint its origin. “I am alright,” you insist through gritted teeth.
Eddie shakes his head, peering at you through his impossibly long eyelashes. “It’s okay to be sad–”
“Don’t you get it, Eddie?” You cut him off with a snap, slamming the coffee pot down so harshly that it almost cracks. “I’m not sad. I’m not relieved. I’m not anything. My grandma just died, and I don’t feel a goddamn thing! It’s like I’m some kind of monster.”
“Hey, hey, c’mere.” He hugs you again, holds you even tighter than before as he kisses the top of your head. “You’re not a monster, ‘kay? I promise you.”
You look up at him, not quite believing his words, but you press your lips to his. He kisses you back gently; timidly even, but you deepen it and graze his tongue with your own. Your left hand weaves its way through his messy curls and your right fumbles with his belt buckle, but you’re unable to unhook the clasp before he steps back.
“What’re you–” His eyes widen and he puts his hands up to avoid touching you, clearly confused by your behavior. If you had the capacity to be honest with yourself, you’d admit that you’re not sure why you’re doing this, either.
“Please, Eddie,” you beg, trying to reconnect your lips with his, but he just pulls away again. “Please, I…I need this. I need you.”
“If we sleep together for the first time right now, while you’re like this, you’ll regret it,” he says.
You don’t deny the accusation; instead, you double down on it. “Okay, so I’ll regret it! I’ll feel regret, but at least I’ll feel something!” Your trembling fingers brush against his shirt, trying to grab onto it and bring his body to you, but he turns with a scoff.
“You’d really be okay with that?” There’s unmistakeable anger in his tone, but it’s laced with something more than that; something that sounds more like hurt. “Regretting our first time together?”
“Didn’t we almost fuck on your couch the night we met? You didn’t even know my last name. You barely knew my first name.” Your words are biting, thick with malice. “When did you become so averse to meaningless sex?”
“Meaningless?” Eddie balks, digging his fingernails into his palms until they leave crescent-shaped marks. His lips contort into a perplexed grimace as he formulates a response. “I, um, I gotta go. I’ll call you–”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that line before, and I’m not falling for it again.” You can’t stop the words before they’re tumbling from your mouth, and you can’t take them back. “Shit, Eddie–”
“Just—don’t say anything else, ‘kay? I’m leaving.” He turns around, digging into his back pocket. “This is for you. From me and Harris.” He tosses a piece of notebook paper, folded into fourths, onto the end table and closes the door with a slam.
You stand there, dumbfounded at what just occurred–mostly at your own actions. When you move towards the paper, you realize that you’re still wearing Eddie’s suit jacket, and you yank it off and throw it to the ground, leaving it in a heap. You open the note and read, vision blurred from the tears threatening to spill over.
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The innocent kindness of a little boy is all it takes for you to break down and cry, muffling your sobs in your palms though there isn’t anyone around to hear them. Grandma was gone. You’d chased Eddie away with the same vitriol he’d spewed at you that day at the record store. You’re really, truly alone.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you chant to no one in particular. You’re sorry to Grandma, for leaving her home alone. You could’ve asked Jess to run out and get a new phone, but you’d needed a break from Grandma’s anger that was always directed towards you. That morning, after you’d discovered the cut phone line, there had been another argument over taking her medication, and she yelled “I HATE YOU!” at the top of her lungs. Then she sat at the table and ate a bowl of cereal like nothing had happened. Instead of taking a deep breath and brushing it off, you’d grabbed your keys and headed to RadioShack. You could’ve driven there, it would’ve made the trip much faster, but you’d decided to walk. The fresh air would do you good, you told yourself, pushing away the full truth of the matter: you’d desperately needed to be away from Grandma. When you got back, she was laying on the couch, and you would’ve sworn she was only sleeping…
You’re sorry to Eddie. Sorry that he’d wasted his time with someone who resorted to dredging up the past as soon as she felt an ounce of anger and rejection. Someone who insisted that he could trust her and then promptly shattered that rapport once he’d let his guard down.
And for a split second, you allow yourself to feel sorry for you. Sorry that you couldn’t even grieve properly without feeling like you didn’t deserve it, because if you were home, Grandma might still be alive. 
You look down at the card one more time, choking out a laugh through your tears at Harris’s offer to share his grandpa. It dawns on you that you’ll either have to stop tutoring him or continue to see Eddie on a weekly basis. Everyone who comes in contact with me gets entangled in my problems, you note miserably. Eddie’s finally getting his life together and I’m fucking it all up. He deserves better than me.
Maybe it’s a good idea to leave Hawkins and go back home, at least for the holidays. You’re not sure what type of celebrations the family will muster up, but it’s better than being alone with your thoughts. And if you never return, that might be best for everybody.
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The bell above the drugstore door chimes as Eddie pushes his way in. He smoked out his remaining cigarettes on the drive over, and he’s desperate for another pack. He makes a beeline for the back wall, plucking his usual Camels from the display. “Perfect,” he mutters, though his lungs would certainly disagree.
As he shuffles towards the cashier, he spots a familiar face in one of the aisles. His lurking cowardice screams at him to run away, but he shoves it deep down and talks anyway. “H-Hey, man. How’s it going?”
Jeff turns around, first bewildered at who’s speaking to him, then tensing up when he sees Eddie standing before him. “Can’t complain. Just getting some of these prenatal vitamin things for Viv,” he replies tersely, shaking the bottle to emphasize his statement.
There’s an awkward silence before Eddie speaks again. “Look, um, I’m really sorry about what happened at our last show.” He rubs the back of his neck and winces at the memory. “What I said, what I didn’t say…you’re gonna be a great dad, dude. Like, the best. I was just jealous, but that’s not an excuse to be an asshole.”
“Jealous?” Jeff cocks an eyebrow incredulously, willing Eddie to continue.
“Yeah,” Eddie nods, shamefully averting his gaze. “You’re bringing a kid into a stable household, and I couldn’t do that for Harris. I don’t regret having him, of course, but I’ll always feel guilty about the shitshow he was born into.” He taps the pack of cigarettes on his palm, biting his lower lip to shut himself up. “Anyway, I gotta get home—”
“Eddie Munson?” He turns around to see a young woman standing behind him. Her low-cut top shows off the top of her breasts, cleavage pushed up by a bra, and her jeans hug every curve. She purses her pink-glossed lips together in a flirtatious smile.
“Y-Yeah?”
“I’m Lisa.” She says this like Eddie should already know this, and he’s embarrassed to admit to himself that he can’t place the name or face. “We hooked up last summer at the Hideout? In the men’s room?” Lisa lowers her voice seductively to whisper that detail. “I haven’t seen you there in a while.”
“Oh, yeah.” There have been multiple men’s room hook-ups, but he’s not about to play detective to figure out exactly who she is, so he plays along. “The band’s been on a bit of a…hiatus, I guess.” From his peripheral vision, he can see Jeff ducking his head, and his cheeks burn with the truth.
Lisa juts out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout, though Eddie knows it’s all for show. “That’s too bad.” She lets her hand rest on his chest, leaning into him and twirling a strand of his hair around a polished fingernail. “If you’re not busy tonight, I’d love to have you over for drinks and…dessert? Recreate that night at the bar, minus the urinal?”
Eddie moves her arms from his vicinity, putting a necessary space between them. “Um, n-nah. No thanks,” he clarifies. “I’m, uh, kinda involved with someone, so…”
She remains undaunted, a small chuckle escaping her throat. “I can keep a secret. She doesn’t have to know.” She takes another step forward to close the gap, and he’s so goddamn tempted, but he shakes it off. He doesn’t have a clue what’s going to happen between you and him, but he knows he’s not going to sabotage any potential relationship.
“Well, I’ll know,” he retorts, “and I’ll feel like shit about it.”
Lisa rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Your loss.” She pivots on one heel and mumbles something under her breath that Eddie doesn’t even bother to interpret.
Jeff looks at Eddie with an amused grin as he shifts his weight from one side to the other. “So, you’re involved with someone?” He knows from what Jess has told him that Eddie went on a date with you a few days ago, but he couldn’t gauge the seriousness of the situation.
“I think so. At least, I was, until about fifteen minutes ago.” He relents and fills Jeff in about everything that happened, from your conversation over steaming coffee mugs, to the amazing kiss you’d shared as snowflakes collected on your eyelashes, to the unexpected confrontation after Grandma’s funeral today.
Jeff sighs, but it’s one of sympathy, not exasperation. “You did the right thing,” he says finally.
“I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Jeff laughs, punching him playfully on the arm. “I’m serious. And you did the right thing just now, too, with that groupie.” He clears his throat. “Viv’s baby shower is in a couple weeks. Ladies only, y’know, but I could use some help loading all the gifts into the car. And we could grab some lunch beforehand, if you want.”
Eddie nods. “Yeah, that would be great. Might have to let Harris tag along, if that’s all right.” He doesn’t want to keep asking Wayne to babysit, no matter how much the old man insists that he doesn’t mind.
“Of course. You know that little man is always welcome.” Jeff says, walking towards the register. “I’ll call you with the details.”
Eddie hesitates, letting his friend pass him by a few paces before he calls out. “Jeff?”
“Yeah?”
“What do I do about…” Eddie trails off, unwilling to finish his sentence. He feels absolutely ridiculous having this conversation in the middle of the drugstore, but he’s desperate not to fuck this up further.
Jeff scratches at his stubble with his free hand, contemplating the options as only someone who’s been in a long-term relationship and hasn’t had to navigate the nuances of a fresh relationship in ages can. “Give her some time; a few days, at least. She’s going through a lot. She needs her space, y’know, to figure things out.”
It’s not the answer Eddie was hoping for; patience has never been his forte. He wishes that Jeff would have told him to chase after you, to go get the girl and make sure she knows how much she means to him. But he knows that his friend is right, and he acknowledges his response with a small smile. “Thanks, man.”
“See ya around, Ed.”
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Eddie unlocks his apartment door, new pack of cigarettes in one hand and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s tucked under the other arm. He doesn’t usually splurge on ice cream, but every romantic comedy cliche has instructed him that it’s the perfect remedy for heartbreak. If that’s even what this is, he thinks, but he knows it’s true. After doing everything in his power to prevent it, he’d allowed you to break his heart. And as he shoves a spoon into the container of Devil’s Food Chocolate, it dawns on him that he’d do it all again.
He’d come to your rescue and pick the lock of Grandma’s bedroom door. He’d sit around the table and eat pizza with you, Harris, and Grandma every Wednesday night. He’d drive to your house with store-brand cookies and watch cheesy Thanksgiving movies with you just to see the smile on your face. He’d take you out for coffee and kiss you in the snow a thousand times over. And he’d go to Grandma’s funeral and drive you home and turn down your offer for sex and break his own fucking heart again and again if it meant protecting you.
He shimmies out of his starchy dress pants and unbuttons his shirt, leaving himself in just a white undershirt and his boxers as he sinks deeper into the sofa. He reaches over for the remote–now that he works when Harris is in school, he rarely has time to watch something that he actually enjoys–and notices the phone’s red flashing light indicating that he has a new voicemail.
He presses play with a clumsy finger on the button, expecting Wayne’s gruff voice or a reminder for an overdue bill. When he hears that it’s you, he sits up straight, nearly dropping his ice cream.
“Hi, Eddie. It’s me. I’m so sorry for what happened earlier. I’m sure you’re probably mad, but I just want you to know…it wouldn’t have been meaningless. It wasn’t meaningless the night we met when it was supposed to be meaningless.” You take a deep breath. “I’m going back home for the holidays. Um, I’m not sure when…if…I’m coming back, but before I leave, I had to apologize for what I said. You’re a great guy, Eddie. I hope you know that. Have, um, have a nice holiday. Okay, bye.”
Eddie remains still, a loud silence enveloping the room once the machine relays that he’s reached the end of new messages. He’s dissecting every word you’d uttered, replaying them over and over. 
It wasn’t meaningless the night we met when it was supposed to be meaningless. 
So you’d felt it, too; that spark much stronger than the usual lust that overcomes him during hookups. And while he’d tried to convince himself that he’d only asked you to cuddle, had you stay over out of post-sex, post-show delirium, he can’t deny the truth any longer.
He’d asked because he felt comfortable around you, like he could hold you forever and whisper secrets that scare him to even admit to himself. Maybe it was because you’d seen Harris’s car seat that night and hadn’t run for the hills, or maybe it was the way you’d kissed him like he was worth savoring. And the morning after, when he’d all but chased you out of the apartment…Christ, you didn’t deserve that.
I’m not sure when…if…I’m coming back. 
The ‘when’ he could handle, but that ‘if’ was a weight on his chest. He questions his actions for a moment–should he have slept with you? Showed you how wanted and cherished and safe you were with him? Given your mind a chance to wander from the grief choking it? But Jeff said he had done the right thing, and considering the man was engaged with a baby on the way, Eddie figured he had to know something about women.
You’re a great guy, Eddie. I hope you know that.
Is he? He’s certainly a better man than when you’d first met him, but is he actually a great guy? He’d bought you coffee and didn’t fuck you when you were too vulnerable to truly consent–is that what constitutes greatness, or is he just a step above a piece of shit?
And, of course, part of him is angry. Not only because you were so easily willing to use him–although that realization definitely stings–but mostly because you’d thought he’d want to. After everything you two had been through, did you truly believe that he’d be unbothered? That he’d throw away all of that progress just to get his dick wet? Is that how little you think of him? Eddie doesn’t want the answer.  
The ice cream is melting, so he forgoes the spoon and just takes a swig from the pint. He licks the chocolatey residue from his lips before standing up to put the carton in the freezer. Tacked onto the refrigerator is Harris’s picture from Halloween where Eddie and Ms. Sweetheart are holding hands.
He plucks it from under the magnet, staring at it intently. The memory of his son and his uncle asking him about you, that pretty like a princess remark, the unfurling realization that he felt things for you that he’d thought he was incapable of feeling. He never should have taken their ribbings, inadvertently getting his hopes up that there was something there worth pursuing.
Without thinking, Eddie crumples the paper in his fist, crushing the family portrait into a ball. “Shit,” he mutters, placing it on the table and smoothing it out as best as he can. His hands glide over the drawing, rubbing over every crease until it looks good as new and Harris will be none the wiser.
But Eddie knows what’s been destroyed. What he doesn’t know is whether or not it can be smoothed out.
--
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astariontopofme · 7 months
Text
𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 🍷 (Astarion x F!MC)
Summary: Astarion is on his nightly prowl for an innocent civilian to return to his master. He meets an unexpectedly warm soul, distracting him completely and sending him down a spiral of self deprecating thoughts. Basically if he met Tav in his slave days, it’s quite angsty.
TW ⚠️: Descriptions of panic attacks.
Word count: 2.2k ___ Astarion had been ordered to an entirely different tavern that night, the atmosphere a lot more chaotic than what he was used to.
He wasn’t best pleased by the change of scenery, watching from the door as people of all different races and religions cheered and laughed in the name of alcohol, a common ground for their usually differing views. At least he knew who was easy and who was going to put up a fight in his regular spots.
This unknown territory could present itself as dangerous if he wasn’t careful.
Despite his weariness, he was desperate to please Cazador this time around. The last few innocent souls he had lured back to the palace had put up a fight and caused havoc, which had rather displeased the merciless vampire Astarion feared most. It was the whole reason he was now not allowed back to his usual spot. He was not at all prepared to be on his bad side for another day in the shadows if he did not bring the man what he wanted peacefully.
His crimson eyes rapidly flickered from face to face as he scoped out tonight’s target. As much as he despised this cruel task of leading people to their doom, this was all a game of survival. It was what kept him from irreversible punishment at the hands of Cazador.
He had to do this, just like every other night.
In a rather dark and sadistic sense, he was usually pretty nifty when it came to the art of seduction. He knew all the right things to say, the perfect places to rest his hands and the most irresistibly tempting way to look at his prey. If he wasn’t doing such a terrible thing, he’d likely be more impressed with himself.
His lingering gaze on a man he deemed suitable enough to deliver to Cazador was abruptly interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. Turning almost defensively, he came face to face with a rather attractive woman behind him, smiling at him sweetly.
“Could I just squeeze myself past you please,” she requested kindly, her shimmering eyes flickering across his features before landing back into a lock with his own.
Astarion wasn’t entirely shy or someone who struggled socially, in his own opinion. Yet something about this woman had caused him to hesitate, stopping his train of thought about the fate of the glum looking man sitting at the bar.
The glum ones were always the easiest.
This woman on the other hand smiled so brightly that it almost instantly felt like physical affection. He could feel a warmth within him, something he had never felt in his years as a spawn. The soothing feeling was throwing him off completely, and all he could do was stare at her like he’d never seen a woman before in his life.
Her comforting smile dropped ever so slightly as her brows furrowed a little in concern. “Are you alright?”
Astarion cleared his throat, his conscience giving him a stern telling off for allowing himself to become so distracted by a simple smile. “Yes. Apologies,” he said monotonously, stepping out of her way and into the tavern.
“It’s no bother,” she reassured him, her beautiful smile returning to a full beam once again. “Would you like a drink? You look like you need one.”
There it was again. Hesitation. Almost insecurity in fact. All he had to do was say no and walk away. He didn’t even need to be polite about it, he wasn’t there for niceties, he was there to ruin someone's life. Those two things did not go hand in hand.
And yet he was standing there, staring at her intently once more while his mouth refused to let the simple little word of rejection out. He found himself to be completely drawn to her, and not in a luring her to her death kind of way. Nobody who was completely sober ever spoke to him first, usually put off by his blood red eyes and pasty skin. But she seemed interested in him, and her smile was just too much of a precious sight for sore eyes for him to reject her.
Supposing a quick drink wouldn’t completely ruin his plans, he simply nodded, his tongue stuck firmly to the roof of his mouth. Her eyes lit up at his acceptance before she turned to lead him through the crowd. 
At the bar, Astarion placed himself beside the man he had set his eyes on earlier. He seemed particularly upset upon closer inspection, holding what appeared to be a wedding ring in his hand as he weeped quietly. The man truly couldn’t have been more vampire bait if he tried, and Astarion only hoped he would stick around long enough for him to make his move once he’d shaken off the cute lady ordering him and herself a glass of red.
Once they were perched on bar stools and sipping their wine, the woman spoke up again. “I’ve never seen you around here before.”
“First time,” he responded simply.
“Well, welcome. If you like a rowdy atmosphere, this is the place for you,” she joked, the flickering light from the candelabras above casting a golden hue over her beautiful features.
Astarion merely sipped his wine, trying to keep the main part of his focus on ensuring that the sad sack behind him wasn't going anywhere. And yet his focus couldn’t be shifted from the woman before him. He’d never described another as lovely before, but he could just tell that she had a pure heart.
Another easy target, if he played his cards right.
The nice ones were always his second choice, but he usually led the conversation and bought the drink to charm them. The way this woman had approached him made him wonder if she was trying to lure him somewhere terrible.
“So, what brought you here?”
Astarion snapped himself back into the present, clearing his throat again to slip into his default setting of synthetic confidence. “Oh nothing in particular. The eye candy was becoming a bit…scarce, at my regular,” he responded convincingly.
The woman laughed, a sweet and innocent giggle. Astarion found himself drawn to the way her nose wrinkled up as her cheeks were splayed with a rosy pigment. Her laugh extracted a smile of his own, the only real smile he had managed in a very long time.
What was she doing to him?
“You’re funny,” she assessed, still giggling into her drink. “See anything you like here?”
Her head cocked to the side as she asked this question, her eyes trailing up and down his body subtly. Soft locks of her hair swayed to the side with her head, revealing her collar bone and the smooth curve of her neck. The woman was hitting on him, and he had no idea what to do about it. It had never happened like this before.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” he teased quietly with a smirk, his gaze fixated on her glistening eyes.
She laughed again, the sound hitting his ear like an angelic song. The woman was truly refreshing, like a ray of sunshine in the shadowy night. He hadn’t felt something so close to the luxury of the day time for many years, and it instantly made him feel unhappy again.
Here he was again, searching for some poor and innocent soul to rip away from their life and into the hell he’s had no choice but to call home, so they can die at the hands of a sadistic bastard that he cannot escape from. He wanted to live a life. A real life. Going on real dates and enjoying the fresh air in the afternoon sun like everyone in the tavern but himself could do.
A fever dream by all accounts.
“Are you alright?”
He snapped himself out of his thoughts once more, his almost watery gaze meeting her concerned eyes. Clearly he had let his emotions overtake him enough that she had picked up on them, something Cazador would have given him absolute hell for. He was so wrapped up in the terrifying thought of being a slave of the night forever more that he could almost feel himself beginning to panic.
He set down his drink, standing from the stool rather quickly and putting on a fake smile. “I’m fine. Thank you for the drink,” he said sincerely, turning away from her and making his way to the exit.
Air was what he needed in that moment, his sense of hearing tuning out as the woman called out for him to wait. Recklessly elbowing people out of his way, he barged through the exit and back out onto the cobbled road, practically gasping for breath. Even outside, he felt the immense feeling of being trapped. Damned for all eternity.
There was a ringing in his ears and a tingling in his hands as he swallowed every bit of oxygen he could fill his lungs with. He didn’t want to do this anymore, every look of betrayal on every face that he had lied to presenting themselves in his mind, rightfully haunting him for manipulating them so heartlessly. And for what?
For Cazador. Always for Cazador.
When a hand rested on his shoulder from behind, he spun around quickly, ready to defend himself whilst his breathing remained quick and shallow. The same sympathetic and concerned eyes of the beautiful woman widened in shock at his reaction.
“It’s okay,” she said with a slight shake to her voice, holding her hands up. “You’re okay.”
Something about her voice made him believe her for a split second. He most certainly wasn’t okay, but he was by all means going to ensure that she was going to be.
She smiled softly at him, holding out a hand. “I only live a mile away if you need somewhere to calm down. Come back to my-”
He cut her off, grabbing her wrist to pull her towards him a little roughly and clamping his hands on her shoulders. She gasped, the smile dropping from her attractive face immediately and replacing itself with a look of fear. Her larger than life eyes were flickering between his red ones quickly, likely searching for any bad intentions.
“Listen to me,” he warned quietly, almost in a whisper. “If you ever come across another with red eyes and pale skin like myself, promising you an unforgettable night of love and pleasure, do not go anywhere with them. Under any circumstances. Do you understand me?”
The woman froze up for a moment, trying to digest what he was saying to her. Her mouth opened a few times to speak, but nothing came out. He gave her a little shake, his eyes burning into hers to relay the severity of his request.
“Do you understand?”
She nodded quickly, her now frantic breathing matching his. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to do such a thing, but he leant in toward her, pressing his cold lips to her soft warm ones for a feeling of comfort. Surprisingly, she didn’t pull away in sheer panic, and Astarion could feel her relax a little beneath him. When he finally pulled away, he let go of her shoulders, taking a step back.
“Please remember what I said,” he almost begged, not wanting this pure soul to become a victim to Cazador.
He turned to walk away, but was stopped when her melodic voice finally spoke up.
“Tav.”
Turning back, he gave her a funny look, not knowing what she had even said. She cleared her throat, speaking up again.
“My name is Tav,” she repeated quietly, looking at him with an expression that he couldn’t read. She looked down at the ground awkwardly for a moment, before glancing back up at him with a bit of hope in her eyes. “Maybe we’ll meet again?”
Astarion furrowed his brows, utterly perplexed by the woman he had just intensely and cryptically warned about his kind mere minutes after meeting her. He couldn’t help the little curl of his lips. She was cute, and definitely the type of person he would have courted if his life was his own.
“Goodnight, Tav,” he concluded, turning back in the direction of the palace and leaving her there.
He wasn’t up for fake interest and meaningless sex to please his heinous master tonight. Tav had made him feel something he’d never felt before, and he gruesomely thought it best to let Cazador punish him for not doing as ordered to get him back in check. After all, this was all just a game of survival, and he needed a fresh reminder of why he had to do such terrible things.
The faces that flashed into his mind were never happy ones, but her smile was one he was never going to forget.
He truly hoped he would see her again someday.
.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this angsty little AU fic! 🤍
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