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Yo this is also a specific kind of Christian, I/E Baptist/Evangelical. If you're, say, Episcopalian/Anglican you almost certainly don't recall being baptized because it was a dignified ceremony done not too long after you were born and involved things like your parents naming who your godparents were etc. I may be a simple country dark Lord but he careful because the events named here are not universally shared by all Christians, really they're not. Now you can argue things like is it ok to baptize a child as an infant before they're cognizant of what's going on but that's another debate
kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.
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Amend: The Stone Prophet is also a sequel to Touch of Death and refers to events and characters from that adventure including Isu Rekhotep and Senmet.
Homebrew D&D One Shot #14
[PDF]
This is a big one! I always liked the setting of Har'akir in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft but was struggling with distilling a singular adventure out of it. Some research eventually brought me to the original 2e module which I have now revamped to 5e above! While all that's written is probably 2-3 sessions worth of material at least, I have already run an abridged version rather successfully and plan to run many more!
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If you haven't, you should play "The Stone Prophet" you can buy it on Steam or GOG. It's a computer game from the 90s set in Har'Akir and an early example of the "open world" concept. It's begging to be adapted into a campaign on the DMs guild. I've thought of doing it myself.
Homebrew D&D One Shot #14
[PDF]
This is a big one! I always liked the setting of Har'akir in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft but was struggling with distilling a singular adventure out of it. Some research eventually brought me to the original 2e module which I have now revamped to 5e above! While all that's written is probably 2-3 sessions worth of material at least, I have already run an abridged version rather successfully and plan to run many more!
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If you really want to horrify players throw Boneless riding Skeletons or Zombies at them
idk man the nervous system makes me kinda nervous
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I find the texture of mango unpleasantly reminiscent of raw chicken
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Drink the wine, there's more. Eat scrimps, take that vacation, save some cash and buy that nice thing
Need an excuse? Invent one
A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.
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She looks like a Marbled Crayfish - they're a variant of the Slough Crayfsh that's mutated to be parthenogenetic, so she's likely going to just keep on laying fertile eggs as long as she lives.
They're also extremely adaptive and considered an invasive species that outcompetes native crayfish due to their ability to adapt to different environments and being parthogenetic.
Depending on where you live you may well have an Illegal Crayfish :D
🦐A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TO JOBS, WHO LOVES HER KIDS BUT NEVER STOPS🦐
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Write in: Lord Soth
All of you write in a Lord Soth
*Slowly draws broadsword*
Both are Ravenloft era.
Reblog for sample size please!
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You can find many of those novels on Audible in audiobook form if that's an acceptable form of media for you, including "Lord Soth", "Knight of the Black Rose" and "Spectre of the Black Rose."
There's also James Lowder's "The Rigor of the Game" which exists as a print short story and a comic.
I love how my current hyperfixation characters atm are Lord Soth from D&D, Hunk from Resident Evil. Both characters have very little media on them, and I've been scraping around the entire internet for just a scrap of content.
Also side note: I would like to have more of the short novels on d&d lore. Like the Ravenloft novels and the Dragonlance books. Can we bring those back? Or start reprinting them again?
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I too have struggled with the Rag Man in the past
Once he fell on me from a high shelf in my garage
What's that Azrael? Box of greasy rags?
Well that explains why when I lit it on fire to punish it the whole garage burned down
Curse you, greasy rag box man!
Azalini Reviews: Darklord Rag Man
Domain: Histaven
Domain Formation: Unknown
Power Level:💀💀💀 ⚫⚫ (3/5 skulls)
Sources: Domain of Dread: Histaven (4e) from Free RPG Day 2011
The vengeful undead known only as the Rag Man is the Darklord of Histaven, a Domain plagued by blight that was pulled into the Mists, because of the actions of two individuals forever locked in their selfish hatred and vendettas.
Histaven was once a prosperous, peaceful village ruled over by Count Histaven, a retired adventuring bard who thought his charms alone gave him the rite to rule. Not too surprising. I often find that adventurers have lofty opinions of themselves. The citizens adored their Count. Of course, the peasantry rarely look beneath the mask their rulers wear. In truth, Count Histaven was a ruthless, petty individual who held his power in a vice grip through the subtle assassinations of potential rivals and dissidents.
Political rivals were not his only targets. Indeed, one such ‘rival’ was a young man who married a fiery haired woman the Count wanted for himself. That puts me in mind of a particular Count I would rather not think of, but suffice to say, redheads in the Mists often inspire the murderous tendencies of others. Count Histaven had the young man killed, which in turn caused his mother to kill herself in grief. One of the Count’s sons, Artius, witnessed these events, yet did not lift a finger against his father.
Artius, as any dutiful son would, followed in his father’s footsteps. He became just as ruthless and vindictive as his father. He played the part of the charming hero for the townfolks while orchestrating plots that lead to the deaths of all his siblings
After he successfully killed off his siblings, Artius waited ‘patiently’ for his aging father to die. At this time a ragged soldier appeared in Histaven, wielding his blade without prejudice against guilty and innocent. Artius found entertainment in the ragged soldiers acts, doing nothing to stop it. That is, until the soldier made his way to the Count’s estate.
He targeted Artius, exposing him as a villain and not as the hero he pretended to be. Enraged, Artius attacked the Rag Man, letting his hatred and selfish ambitions drive him. In turn, the Rag Man was consumed in his vendetta against Count Histaven and attacked his son with nothing but thoughts of revenge in his mind. In this moment, the mists claimed them both and Histaven with them.
There is another version of this tale, in which the two men fought one another for the love of a woman with fiery hair. Naturally this is nothing more than poetic nonsense and the result of the forgotten history of Histaven’s former Count, who slaughtered a young man for being married to an object of his desire. It is interesting, however, that both the Rag Man and Count Artius are said to be drawn to a redheaded Vistana named Naeva who reminds them both of a woman from their past. No doubt, she resembles the young woman Count Histaven desired who was married to this nameless ‘Rag Man’.
After the Mist claimed it, the once prosperous village of Histaven was plagued by blight and rot, acting as a mirror to the Rag Man and Count’s own corruption. The coming of the Rag Man is known as the Season of Rot in Histaven. For even if he is slain, the Rag Man always returns.
The Season of Rot begins on the new moon when the Rag Man appears in Histaven at night as a beggar, silently extending his hand out as villagers pass him by. Any that dare disturb him during this time, are slaughtered for their efforts. As the moon waxes, the Rag Man murders any he believes to be an ally of Count Artius. The more he kills, the stronger he becomes. Finally, on the night of the full moon, the Rag Man forces his way into Artius’s manor and the two face each other and the violence that ensues inevitably ends one of their life’s.
If the Rag Man dies, the blight persists. If Artius dies, Histaven experiences a brief respite from the persistent rot. Regardless of who dies, both are reborn in time. It is said that the only way to end this cycle is to have the two men forgive one another for their past deeds. Perhaps Naeva is the key to this rather unlikely event, but that is none of my concern.
The Rag Man, on the surface, appears to be a mindless killer bent on vengeance and, for the most part, this is exactly what he is. However, when not harassing the people of Histaven, the Rag Man resides in a grove in the Nightwood forest that surround Histaven. The grove is a peaceful place, full of life and a crystalline pool that the Rag Man often stares into, brooding.
The grove is a form of torment for our little slasher-happy murderer. Here, every night ghosts of his past dance happily around the grove, reminding him of what once was. One of these ghosts resembles Count Artius, though is likely his father. Another is a young, fiery haired woman who, just before sunrise, places her ghostly hand upon the Rag Man’s shoulder before disappearing.
The Rag Man is clearly a revenant, rising every new moon to seek vengeance against the one who wronged him. Yet, unable to seek out Count Histaven, he is reduced to seeking out the man’s son and no matter how many times he kills Artius, the Count comes back. A rather pathetic cycle of vengeance. I will grant him 3 skulls since he is, techincally, difficult to kill.
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Witch Hazel is my favorite looney tune, which explains my soft spot for the Mindefisk sisters.
Azalin Reviews: The Three Hags
Domain: Tepest
Domain Formation: 691 BC
Power Level:💀💀💀💀 ⚫
Sources: Darklords (2e), Domains of Dread (2e), Domains and Denizens (2e), Servants of Darkness (2e Adventure), Ravenloft Gazetteer V (3e), Secrets of the Dread Realms (3e)
Tepest is a land of dark fairy tales that’s so overrun with goblyns that many of the people are unaware of the Hags’ influence over them. These three hags love consuming entire goblyns in a single bite and cackling under the full moon. Their horrendous appearance cracks any mirror they look upon and renders fear in the bravest hearts.
The Three Hags of Tepest were once beautiful sisters (on the outside that is) gifted to Rudella Mindefisk by the fey. Or most likely the fey, as it is the fey she pleaded with to grant her a daughter as her sons and husband paid her little mind. Her husband, Holger, was the sort that believed all girls to be weaklings and went out of his way to deny her even the possibility of having one.
Making deals with unseen entities is not the wisest of decisions, unless you’re one of my Warlocks, of course, then continue on. I promise I mean you know harm. But Rudella was desperate for a little girl, thinking a child would somehow save her from her loneliness. She snuck away from her husband and pleaded to the fey for daughters three nights in a row and on the morning of the fourth day she found three wicker baskets upon her doorstep, each containing an infant girl.
Holger, of course, wanted nothing to do with the children who were just as sickly and weak as he thought any girl would be. Rudella, however, named them Laveeda, Leticia, and Lorinda and raised them as her own. She nursed them to health and they thrived under her care. But as they grew stronger, Rudella grew weaker and eventually died. Deals with the fey often go in this direction, if you were wondering.
Now Holger, it should come as no surprise, was an utter idiot. After his wife died he tried to get rid of the girls a few times, but eventually gave up as they kept on coming back. Of course, there was likely fey trickery behind this, but he could have made a direct attempt himself instead of leaving them out in hopes that some wolves will find them or they drown in a river. There is something to be said about doing things yourself.
Deciding he was stuck with them, Holger made them cook and clean for him and his sons, but otherwise ignored them. If I had a magical child that was left on my doorstep and came back every single time I tried to dispose of them, I would keep a closer eye on them...but again, Holger was an idiot.
The girls were very unhappy with their situation and started planning on leaving their father’s little farm and living in luxury. This resulted in them killing the next wealthy traveler that stayed with their family. They killed him, robbed him, and cooked his remains in a stew that they then fed their father and brothers.
They continued this murder-theivery-stew routine whenever someone stayed with their family, which was sporadic enough to make their plan very ineffective. Not that it was a very well thought out plan to begin with. They did eventually come to this conclusion on their own and decided it would be best if they wooed some wealthy young lad into taking them away.
Soon the perfect dandy in victim form came their way. This dandy was a bit of a scoundrel himself and instead of falling for their ruse, he manipulated the sisters to targeting one another. This would have worked better if they weren’t such murderous hags by then, but as it was, they killed the dandy as each decided they’d rather see him dead than with one of their sisters. As they killed him together, each for their own selfish lusts, the Mists took them into Ravenloft and transformed them into Hags.
Laveeda became an Annis and gained the ability to smell any humanoid from a half-mile away and if she has smelt them before, she will be able to identify the individual. People really do smell, so I cannot say this is a gift. Leticia became a Sea Hag and her gaze can instantly kill any mortal. Lorinda became a Green Hag and can move silently through the forest. Seems Leticia got the better deal there...though Lorinda was granted the ability to weaken her enemies later on. They are stronger as a coven and casting their magics together, but it is always the way of Hags to reluctantly work together in mutual hatred, so this potent spell casting lasts only as long as they can tolerate one another...much like my situation with von Zarovich when I was in Barovia, I suppose. They also all have the ability to mimic another’s voice and take on any appearance they so choose, though our Tormentors only ever allow them to see themselves as they truly are.
Mirrors and sunlight are their greatest weakness, much like vampires...Though they can see their reflection in mirrors, they just tend to crack whenever one of the hags looks into them. They are always hungry for mortal flesh and usually feast upon the goblins that infest Tepest, though they prefer pretty, young things when they can get them.
The Hags are convinced that if someone manages to fall in love with them, then they will return to the beautiful young woman they once were. So naturally they go about this by capturing beautiful women just about to get married and taking their place, only to reveal who they truly are to their grooms in hopes that they will accept them. This goes as well as you would expect. Screams, fleeing in terror, and the eventual eaten alive by a hag.
The Hags are not overly visible Darklords and the people of Tepest fear the dark fey and goblyns that infest their land more than anything else. Even my little scholar “S” was unsure of who exactly the Darklord of Tepest was, though her attentions were lacking and clearly distracted as she traveled through the backwards country where even the road signs cannot be trusted.
Overall, the Hags, when working together, are incredibly fearsome foes. Not only are they powerful spell casters, but quite formidable in melee as well. I will grant them 4 skulls.
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Or maybe I'm just lazy
So what
@peopleiveloved
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Have you tried projecting yourself into someone's dreams and taking a comely humanoid form
I am begging everyone to stop hornyposting about squids.
I’m sexy too. And lonely.
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Lots!
really bums me out when people say that a character cant be redeemed. like sure, but that's so easy to explain. give me your unhinged theories about how the most disgusting vile little meow meow has a tiny ounce of humanity or hope that can be rekindled through the use of sheer luck, determination, and/or divine levels of intervention
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So there is precedent for this going back multiple editions. Wizards won't do it again I think, because as of right now it would stretch the rules for 5E a little too far.
But in 3.5 edition, they published Savage Species, which was a book that was all about... you guessed it. Playing non-standard monstrous races as PCs. It was complicated but a lot of fun.
But if we venture off the lighted path a little bit, maybe we can find something.
For instance, in a quick search of the DM's Guild I found this: I can't speak for the quality it, but it IS only three dollars US:
https://www.dmsguild.com/product/230312/Monstrous-Races
A couple months ago, one of the kids at the daycare brought in a D&D starter set and asked me to DM a game for him and some of the other kids in my class. Now, I had considered doing this in the past, but written it off for a variety of reasons, mainly asusming it'd be a couple days of chaos before the kids get sick of all the math involved and lose interest. But if a kid broaches an idea and others seem on board, I feel it's kind of my duty to at least try it.
So far my assumptions have been... mostly correct? Like, 70% of my predictions have come true, it is chaos, ten-years olds are the most murder-happy murder hobo PCs you could possibly imagine, and they've really been pushing my improv skills to their absolute limits with the choices they've made (and the constrictions I have on me as a daycare teacher). But they haven't gotten bored with the math, and they absolutely love playing the game still, which is nice. I like it when my students are passionate about something.
Anyway, I bring this up because seeing how children play with D&D canon has made me realize one critical fact:
D&D needs a Mons Game spinoff.
Kids love monsters. This is not my bias, it is something that has been categorically proven to me in my four years of working at a daycare. Every kid loves the idea of weird, impossible creatures, and they love the idea of befriending a whole horde of those creatures even more so. One of my kids in the daycare D&D campaign is making it his goal to find and tame every monster he can find in the kid-friendly monster manuals I bought for the class. He wants a Tarasque and a Bullete and an Owlbear and on and on and on, and keeps proposing tactics for capturing them based on his time playing Ark: Survival Evolved, a game where you can tame dinosaurs and mythic beasts while trying to survive a wild world full of danger and obstacles.
And it turns out that, while the mechanics of D&D don't support this, the philosophy of how its settings are structured according to those mechanics does. D&D is filled with hundreds of wild and imaginative monsters, all with distinct appearances, habits, adaptations, and environmental needs. The need to make the "dungeons" part of D&D interesting has required it to build really interesting monster ecosystems, and, much like mons games, the need to keep players buying new content has resulted in them building a vast library of creatures, because selling $50 books containing a slew of new monsters is a pretty guaranteed way to get money. D&D may not be a mons game, but it's accidentally made its setting perfectly suited to be one.
And what a money-maker that would be! Skew it more towards a child audience in tone, use simpler mechanics so kids can hop into it without spending, say, three solid weeks of afterschool daycare time crafting character sheets more or less one on one, and you'd have a game that would easily hook a younger audience while planting seeds of interest into the bigger game.
Of course, there are already indie TTRPG mons games, and I imagine some of them are actually good, but unfortunately they're not exactly easily obtainable on a daycare teacher's budget. And, you know, they wouldn't let you make a team of a bulette, an otyugh, a gray render, and an owlbear.
But then again, Wizards of the Coast continues to be absolute bastards, so maybe this idea is too good for them. Which makes it a good thing they're never going to read this blog post.
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I:IE (trying a Sothmoji)
Better be Lawful Neutral, waffle jockey
Sothmas Traditions
Wailing: Sithicans dressed as banshees go from house to house singing of my evil yet epic deeds and are rewarded with hot cider if they stay on key and fed to Azrael if they sing flat (this is Azrael's favorite part of Sothmas)
The Throttling of the Wretched Senechal: I dress somebody who's made me angry up as Caradoc and strangle him to death outside Nedragaard Keep, this is MY favoite part of Sothmas
The Coming of the Clownpire: I unstake some putz I transformed into a vampire and he goes from house to house in his stupid cape acting like he's so great. Sithicans are requires to throw trash at him, at the end of the night I punch him in the face and restake him for next year
The Sothvent Calendar: Every day commemorates one of my evil yet epic deeds, also candy
On Sothmas Night, I ride out with my 13 Skeleboys, and boys and girls who've fought with honor for the past year get a sword, but dishonorable boys and girls get trampled to death under the hooves of my Nightmare, Nightmare.
Remember, I know if you've been Lawful or Chaotic, so be Lawful for Honor's Sake
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