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#and the other being cocomelon
cherrysnax · 1 year
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the cocomelon fandom really didn’t like that post
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cipher-fresh · 1 year
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Why is nobody capable of being normal in discussions about people watching shows with younger age demographics
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erikkarlsson · 9 days
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not to sound too median-voter but there are few things more contenting than sitting at a sports game in summer with a beer in hand and brain completely shut off
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doebt · 1 year
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Its the same as like kids cartoons are anymore its like everything has to be extreme and exaggerated and colorful to an INSANE extent to the point of being nearly unintelligible but also completely sanitised and boring and mind numbing at the same time Like and the way little kids have tiktok now and stuff. its sooo disturbing it actually freaks me out so bad when I think about it too hard
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blue-jisungs · 2 months
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PLAYLIST
author's note. sorry for the slight delay!!! i hopeu all enjoy it tho<3 thank u so sooo mcuh @slytherinshua for the banner (again)<3333333333
summary. jihoon is curious about you, especially your music taste and this... somehow leads to your first kiss with him
word count. 1233
genre. music major!jihoon (and also undercover artist, woozi) x psychology major!yn
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jihoon felt like a fool.
a complete, love struck fool.
he didn’t know what you did to him but – how did wonwoo phrase it? he was down bad for you – he was whipped.
ever since bumping into you in the library, which was quite embarrassing by the way, he just couldn’t get his mind off you. luckily for him, he gained some courage to talk to you and exchange socials.
you were in a talking stage, getting to know each other. like, for example your name, sign, major – so on, so forth. he was completely smitten to find out that you’re a psychology student but then again, you seemed amazed when he told you he’s majoring in music.
despite all this knowledge he still yearned to know more. your music taste, favorite drink, the name of your first hamster that you had in childhood– despite how creepy it sounded, it was the effect you had on him.
naturally, you wanted to know more about him too.
hence you’re here now, in his studio.
“do you want something to drink? vodka? tequilla? i mean, other drinks are okay too. ice with water?” jihoon asked, opening his mini fridge and trying to ignore the feeling of blood rushing to his ears. he’s such an idiot. ice with water? really, jihoon?
“water is fine” you grinned, looking around the room.
you were curious about the studio, it’s where the magic happens after all. apparently he didn’t let people in… except his friends. even with them he made some exceptions – like soonyoung, who once snuck in while he was drunk and made a song about a tiger…? you remember this story, he told you it on one of your first meetings (dates?).
“it all looks so expensive” you sighed, scared to even touch anything. jihoon must have noticed it because he broke a smile.
“well… music equipment usually is quite pricey. but feel free to try something, i’ll guide you. guitar, keyboard, saxophone… even the mixing board” he hummed and handed you the glass of water.
“oh really? i always wanted to try the silly machine” you pointed at the sound mixer, recalling a video you saw on tiktok how the grey keys lit up upon touching.
“here you go, then” jihoon grinned and pulled your chair closer to it, causing you to giggle. then, he pulled another chair for him and sat down.
he turned it on and put you glass away, ebony irises looking at you with excitement.
“so do i just…?” you asked and shyly tapped one of the tiles, it making a sound and lighting up with a pink light.
jihoon watched you good around with it, creating a silly melody and being rather amused by the colors than the music itself. his heart was thumping against his chest, weirdly liking it. he was anxious that he’d feel somehow stressed and somehow angry upon seeing you touch his instruments. he always did when someone came over. but with you… why was he so carefree?
“i have no idea how you do it, that just sounded like cocomelon intro” a laugh escaped your lips and jihoon joined you. oh, he loved the sound of your laughter.
“let me play some music, wait” jihoon stood up and grabbed his phone from the pocket of his sweats.
you admired him, observing his silhouette. he really fitted perfectly into this space, you could see he’s feeling himself because he’s surrounded by things he loves.
and he let you in that safe space of his.
this caused your heart to skip, trying to convince yourself it’s nothing. that he takes every girl here sooner or later, lets her play his instruments–
“everytime you look at me like that i wonder if you’re having flashbacks of your psychology textbooks, you know? and then you’re like… ‘ah yeah, he fits that description perfectly’” he giggled and you scoffed, shaking your head.
“you know, sometimes i can’t help but consider all the… small signs… but i don’t diagnose you!” you joked but saw his eyes widen. oh.
“small signs?” he asked, a bit of panic in his voice. great, now you freaked him out.
“like… you’re a workaholic but that’s no surprise, right?” you tried to ease the situation and it seemed that it worked.
“yeah, yeah” he nodded, a small smile blooming on his lips.
once again you looked around the room, eyes taking in every detail.
“wait, actually… do you want to play some music? i’m curious what you listen to” he asked and handed you the aux with a boyish smile.
“don’t judge me though… i’m already feeling kinda stupid” you laughed and scrolled through your playlist, jihoon looking over your arm.
you decided to play one of your cozy mixes on shuffle and turned around to peek at him.
“you… um, you know woozi?” jihoon asked, a tiny of nervousness in his voice.
“oh, yeah! jun recommend him to me! he’s so good, honestly. i kinda wish he had more music because i feel like i know every song by heart right now” you giggled and saw his eyes widen “what? you don’t like him?”
“wha… i… actually…” jihoon stuttered, mind racing like a wild horse galloping through the fields. why did jun tell you? no… he knew the answer to that – jun knew jihoon has a crush on you. what an asshole.
but… what to do now? how didn’t you figure out that woozi is him? should he confess? or should he thank you? or… maybe he should deny that he doesn’t know him.
“you kinda sound like him now that i think about it” you hummed, scanning his face.
“are you playing some psychological games with me right now?” jihoon asked, cracking a smile and finally sitting down next to you.
“no, why would i?” a frown appeared on your features. jihoon took it as a sign that you’re really clueless. taking a deep sigh, he pointed at one of the diplomas (or what you thought they were).
“i’m… woozi”
your mouth fell agape as you scanned the paper on the wall, secured safely in a ruby frame.
“and i’ll admit, you have a nice taste in music” he added, observing you. why was he kind of… excited by your reaction? the fact that you liked his music was another thing, making his heart go crazy.
“are you serious?” you asked in disbelief and your eyes shifted to meet his ebony ones.
“i’m in your playlist. come at me, gir” jihoon laughed and opened his arms in a cocky manner.
“so… woah. that’s crazy. i have a question though” you grinned, cocking an eyebrow at him. woozi’s mischievous spark in the eye told you to be straightforward “about who is ‘ruby’ about?”
no words were exchanged but the look he gave you was like an electric spark between you two. maybe hence the next thing he did, powered by an impulse, was standing up.
“can i kiss you?” he asked and you nodded vigorously, shame flying out of the window.
if it wasn’t said, the kiss definitely translated it into words: ‘ruby’ was about you. everything was about you, including his feelings.
his plush lips felt heavenly against yours, soft music playing in the background as his warm hands cupped your cheeks.
who knew that revealing your playlist to him would lead to your first kiss.
main masterlist | event masterlist
taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu
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tainbocuailnge · 16 days
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[with full understanding that the reason for viera all wearing high heels is "unga bunga hot"] i like to think viera are evolutionary freaks of nature who basically convergently evolved with the other humanoid races rather than sharing a common ancestor because they're all but begging evolutionary biology to do some cocomelon shit to them by being so secluded and uniquely long lived, so they're all wearing heels because their musculoskeletal structure is optimised for a digitigrade gait because they're the result of prehistoric rodents moving into the niche of primates, and while they Can walk with a heel-first gait it puts comparatively more stress on their joints and tendons
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yanderehsr · 11 months
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Good Day.. I had this thought in my head all day and I wanted to hear your take on it: Yandere platonic stellaron hunters (Blade Kafka and silverwolf) over a toddler reader. Maybe Elio foresaw Reader being vital to their future plans. Of course Elio just dumps the reader to kafka and they’re all inexperienced with taking care of an actually baby so chaos ensues. I thought of a scenario for each character:
Blade looking for vengeance and just being very blood thirsty but Toddler reader just gives him puppy dog eyes and he just melts:
Blade: All must pay the pric..
Toddler Reader: Dada (does a spit bubble)
Blade(looking shock forgetting for a moment about his vengeance): Can you.. did you just.. can you repeat that..
Silverwolf tired of babysitting toddler reader and listening to baby shark all day long. She gets a genius idea
Silverwolf(hacking the herta space station just to play baby shark throughout the station): If I have to suffer this I’m taking Herta with me!
Toddler Reader(tries to sing baby shark)
Herta: Just shut it all down! (Slowly loosing her mind)
Kafka irresponsibly have toddler reader attach to a baby carrier with headphones on as she goes to the luofu for her mission.
(Kafka shooting at everyone with her guns):
(Reader just chilling on her baby carrier as she listen to Cocomelon)
(Cloud Knights shocked to see a baby on kafka): She kidnaps babies too?!!!
-Sorry for the long request, I just had to get it out of my head. Thanks for reading and I hope you can give me your take on this dysfunctional family.
No need to apologize, and finally Silver Wolf is requested🥰
Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour
Out of the three it is only Kafka that wants to raise a child, she finds you cute and that is all it takes for her to be interested, she takes you everywhere she goes, to any mission. Of course she wouldn't take you out to a fight, she doesn't want you hurt.
Silver Wolf takes a bit longer to warm up to you, she is awkward, she doesn't really open up to other people. She tries to play video games with you, it doesn't go well. Herta amd Screwllum are surprised when there is a baby with Silver Wolf in the simulated universe
Blade takes the longest, he doesn't want to raise you, but he grows attached and that is enough to make him grow obsessed, he takes you everywhere, it has started a fight or two between him and Kafka about who gets to have you. He even takes you to his battles, he is confident that he can protect you.
Just don't try and leave them when you grow up, they have frown to attached to you, they might not even let Elio use you to whatever you were supposed to do.
"Awwww, look at them, they are just so cute"
"Keep your hands off, it's my turn to watch them"
"Let's just go, they can continue the fight without us"
There we go, three chaotic caretakers, and I love them all three🥰
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princessbrunette · 2 months
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babydaddy!jj still being hopelessly in love with reader. constantly finding reason to be at her place, fixing anything if it breaks, having play dates with your daughter that lead you him sleeping over and waking up to you making him breakfast while he feeds your daughter. all the emotions come running back and he just knows he wants to make you his wife. maybe he’d just blurt it out because he can’t help himself
this. he is relentless. constantly showing up unannounced just to ask you the most random question.
୨ৎ . ⸝⸝ ! 🌙 ꒱
when you open the door you look all stressed and tired and you have coffee down your top and he just wants to make your life easier and help you so bad! cocomelon is on full blast, your baby is loudly babbling and shouting and you’re just simultaneously relieved at his presence but also stubborn, shaking your head at him. “jj this could have been a text.” you respond briskly and his eyes dart between you and your hallway before wedging himself through your door slightly.
“yeah, no for sure uh— i was just in the area, y’know how it is and my phone died so… hold on a minute, what’s this?” he points to the small side table in your hallway and you furrow your brows, too exhausted for the conversation.
“a table.” you answer in deadpan.
“well, you’re damn right about that— but look, right here. this!” he points to the corner. “you know, soon enough our lil girl is gonna start crawlin’ and when she does things like this are gonna be a total danger to her and her squishy head. what if she falls, huh? rams right into it? did’ya consider that?” he’s being totally theatrical, nudging his foot against the low table on the ground.
“i’m sure we’ll manage, jay—”
“nope. you got tape? i’m baby proofin’ the shit outta this house.” he slides into your home, walking straight through to the living room where you hear him greet your baby. “theres my favourite little gremlin!”
you lean against the wall for a second, disorientated from lack of sleep before following him in and dropping down on the couch. “the tapes in the kitchen drawer. just watch her for a little would you? just gonna close my eyes for a second.” you hum, sinking into the couch. you feel the seat dip beside you, and a hand on your arm.
“hey, you been gettin’ any sleep?” his voice is gentler now, concerned.
“m’fine.” you rasp, half asleep already. he sighs out his nose.
“di’nt i tell you to call me if you needed me to take her? dont gotta do this all by yourself, mama.” he softly reprimands and you shrug, too sleepy to argue and he lets it go, watching you for a moment.
you wake up, in your bed at around 2AM — JJ clearly having taken over for the whole night, putting you and the baby to sleep. you shoot up, disorientated and concerned, going to sprint from your bed but accidentally stepping on the blonde sleeping on the floor beside it.
“ow, jeez woman!” he groans, sitting up.
“jay— you, where’s —”
“asleep. you’re meant to be sleepin’ too. you knocked the hell out, aaand… i didn’t wanna wake you n’stuff so…” he explains, running a hand through matted hair. you blink yourself more awake, looking around before back at him.
“why are you down there?” you exasperate and he blinks back at you.
“uh…”
“‘can sleep in here with me jj, it’s fine. you put a baby in me for gods sake you don’t have to act so repulsed.” you grumble before rolling over to face the other way, making room for him. at this, he shoots up, appearing directly behind you in bed.
“hey, woah — quite the accusation there. s’not true, alright? i was being…respectful. that’s my bad.” he holds his hands up and you unclench your muscles slightly, relaxing more into the bed.
“‘kay.” your tone softens and so does he, laying down and getting comfortable beside you, staring at the ceiling. after a moment he speaks again, quietly.
“repulsed… yeah right, dude. i’m like the freakin’ opposite. you have no clue.”
in the morning he’s not by your side, but when you pad out into the kitchen — you find your baby in her high-chair, being spoon fed by her blonde father.
“look who it is, say riiiise and shine, mama.” jj, cheerful as ever grins as he spoons more mush into the babies mouth. she babbles out spitty sounds in retaliation, equally thrilled to see you. “yeah, close enough.” he chuckles, wiping the mess on her chin.
“good morning baby!” you coo, leaning forward to kiss her soft head. “and good morning daddy.” you gently place your hand on his back as you pass him making his heart skip a beat, watching you rifle the cabinet for your mug to make some coffee.
“oo, i remember when you used t’call me that.” he smirks to himself, spooning up more baby food and you whip your head around to give him a look.
“jj! not infront of the baby.” you huff, light heartedly and he holds up a hand.
“my bad, my bad.”
his smile doesn’t fade, and when you turn you back to pick out a mug — you grow one of your own.
୨ৎ . ⸝⸝ ! 🌙 ꒱
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jannahswaiting · 2 months
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saja.
a four year old.
four year olds play with toys. break their crayons. scribble on walls. giggle. laugh. cry because their favorite color cup wasn’t given to them. their childhoods are a sweet melody of watching dora, paw patrol and cocomelon.
but four year olds in Palestine? their childhood is a soundtrack of bombs, shots being fired and screams of pain. four year olds in Palestine go through more than what an adult would in any other place. instead of watching cartoons, children in Palestine watch horrors upon horrors happening around them.
saja’s face.. is there even a word for what happened to her face? burned isn’t a strong enough word, and yet the only thing that’s available as a sliver of comfort from the pain is a lollipop. instead of doctors and medicine and anesthesia, the only thing Palestinians have left is a lollipop to comfort a child whose face is burned beyond belief.
next time you look in the mirror, thank your Lord that you have a healthy body. that you didn’t have to suffer through intense pain and injuries like saja. that you aren’t being bombed and starved. that you’re safe and sound.
may God grant saja relief from her injuries. and may He grant ease, relief and the highest levels of Paradise to all Palestinians, ameen.
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izvmimi · 5 months
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cw: this is selfship-coded. reader has a job and is on call for it. reader and izuku are married with kids. cocomelon exists in this universe.
being on call for work can sometimes be the bane of your existence. while you now have the luxury of home call more often than not these days, and the calls are fewer and further between, every so often there's an emergency, and you find yourself zipping through your home to find your keys and wallet and stuff them into your purse before jumping into your car to drive straight to the hospital.
tonight, izuku is home with you, and his attention shifts from the television where he's holding your baby son in his lap and helping him sing along to cocomelon to you. you murmur something out loud but at low volume about not being able to find your work id badge and without moving, izuku scans the room and spots it hanging off of the chair of the dining room table. he quickly uses blackwhip to get to it without moving.
"got it right here, baby," he offers, cheerful to be helping.
your eyes light up as you see it and then you rush over to meet where he dangles it in the air, but as you do so, your keys not completely shoved into your hospital scrubs end up falling out of your pocket. you bend over to pick it up but he gets to that before you too; however before he hands it to you, he pulls the tendril of energy back towards him and inspects it carefully.
"wait, what's this?"
squinting, you can tell he's looking at your newest addition to your key ring, and you already can guess he's about to start commenting.
"is that... a tiny knife?" he asks, in genuine surprise. incredulous, he looks at you, and you reply with a small scoff.
"it's for self defense!" you find yourself already slighted. izuku looks at you and furrows his eyebrows, then tilts his head gently to the side.
"... this knife is literally the size of my thumb, honey."
"yeah, but it's stealthy!"
izuku's lips press into a thin line, in the way you can tell he cannot believe you're being serious with him right now.
"and it's useless? what are you defending yourself against with this? ants?"
he adjusts your son to tuck him in his other arm, who also now looks at you with bright green confused eyes as though he is already siding with your husband. a traitor sucking his thumb. izuku places the knife in his palm for scale.
"this is so useless," he repeats to himself, appalled. your face warms.
"izuku, stop judging me."
he sighs.
"i'm not judging you, i just am trying to understand what a tiny knife will do to protect you."
"it's a weapon!" you defend yourself, furrowing your eyebrows.
"why do you need weapons when you have me?" izuku replies, and you're flummoxed by how confident he is.
"you are not there 24/7."
"i could be," he repeats. you exhale loudly through your nostrils, tired of the nonsense.
"midoriya, give me my keys."
he does hand you the keys, but now he's up and following you.
"who's making you feel unsafe? tell me. you don't need a tiny knife, baby, just talk to me."
he attempts to make you talk in that annoying persistent way of his, up until he's outside of your car window knocking with a pout on his face, then waving goodbye.
you roll down your windows and give him an exasperated look.
"maybe i thought it was cute. i feel very safe, and especially so because of you, okay?" you give in. he smiles, and you lean in and kiss him and your son both, and he grins.
although there's a very good chance your anxious, sweet, protective husband will be calling you more than once tonight, just in case your tiny knife isn't enough.
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kechiwrites · 1 year
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i hate toxic baby daddies but toxic bd!ghost seem like the type of mf throw a fit whenever you tell him to come get his son (let’s call him tommy after Simon’s brother cus i feel like he’d try to honor his brothers memory that way) so you can go on a date. he thinks just because you two created another person together, you belong to him even though you guys aren’t together. You go on your date and look outside the window just to see him in a car with your baby in the car seat. 😭 i feel like he’d just do mad corny shit to ruin any chances of you moving on.
No because he would pretend to be so nonchalant about it too, sending you off while he assures you that your house won't burn down around them in your absence. It's all very new, Ghost being in your life as a permanent fixture, but you have rules firmly in place to keep things civil (and platonic) between you. But you couldn't have predicted him gleefuly pushing you out the door and into your uber to spend an evening with another man, but hey! maybe people change.
Meanwhile, he's plotting exactly how he'll crash your date with poor little Tommy who at this point is just along for the ride.
You haven't been on a date in so long (because no matter what he insists, letting Ghost finger you in the kitchen while Tommy watches Cocomelon in the other room doesn't count), and it's not like the guy's the next love of your life or anything, but it's nice to be wanted, to feel wanted by someone who doesn't have court mandated contact with you. So you accept the invitation to dinner, and yes the guy is handsy, but your ass is fat in those pants and you'll put a stop to it when he gets outta pocket. It's actually a surprisingly fancy place and your eyes go wide as dinner plates when you scope some of the prices. So imagine your surprise when you spot your ex and your son who can barely stand the sight of non-dinosaur shaped food sitting innocently at the table across from yours.
You barely toss your date an "excuse me" before you’re stomping over to his table, demanding to know just what the fudge he's doing here?! (you're both trying to limit your profanity in front of Tommy). "The little one and I were just feeling hungry, ain't that right, Boo?" and your sweet little baby is just happy to see you, waving his little hands in the air from his booster seat.
Before you can continue to read him the riot act, he's up and in your face, crowding into your personal space and clapping a heavy hand against the soft curve of your ass, well within the sight of your date, digging his fingers in until you’re pressed chest to chest with him.
"We'll see you at home."
Your date ends pretty quickly after that.
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rustytrident · 2 years
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i think the hc that occupies my brain the most is the "demonic nature is kinda like human world animals' instincts" so here is the breakdown no one asked for: why i believe demons are much less scary after you actually get to know them!
so, in case it hasn't been evident in my three posts and some lint i have about obey me on here (sarcasm) i am obsessed with the idea that even the most powerful of demons aren't able to resist their demonic urges. like their brain kind of blacks out?? and they do whatever tf either demon brain or sin brain (or both) tells them to do.
lucifer checks himself out on every. single. reflective. surface. fixing his collar, combing his hair, straightening his sleeves – he absolutely hates when he realises he does it but demon brain goes "oohhh!!! it's me im here!!" and sin brain goes "ihavetolookmybestatalltimespleasetellmeilookgood". every time he catches himself with his hand midway through his hair he sighs and tries to go on with his day (one time satan and belphie pranked him by putting mirrors everywhere) (they didn't know lucifer has memorised the layout of the hol and can walk anywhere with his eyes closed).
mammon is that one kid that touches anything shiny and sparkly. you could be wearing highlighter and just feel a poke on your cheek. turn around. it's your demon boy. his pupils are dilated. finger still on your face. half a toof fang sticking out of his mouth. fucking elated. glittery shiny sparkly holographic things are his demon brain cocomelon. sin brain just hoards any and all glittery shiny sparkly holographic things he can find. whenever he's upset he watches those slime or chalk asmr videos but they have to be the ones where the creators use a whole bag of glitter (or! or! the ones where people flick brushes full of glitter above their cameras in slow motion yknow the ones).
leviathan has to be quirky different not like other girls. he has to be the one with the most marine knowledge in the family, the one with the most ruri knowledge in the family – you get the point. i believe he has a touch of the demon tism so if you think you know anything about his special interests no you don't. he was actually there when it happened so joke's on you. yes he did witness the creation of the first amoeba now move. he's also that younger sibling that sees you get praise for doing something and does the exact same thing to get praise too. sin brain goes "if they get that then i have to have it". you see him wearing your clothes sometimes and when you think back you remember you got a compliment on it about a week ago (week agoo 🕺💃) and like yeah. makes sense (pls tell him he's pretty pls).
satan has chewy toys and wears a retainer pretty frequently because that wrath may be chronic but them teeth won't stay there for long if he keeps baring them!! he buys new ones once a month because he absolutely tears through them and everyone is just used to him popping in his acrylic retainer every time lucifer comes in the room. he isn't even half ashamed of his toys because trust me it's not a cute sight. this man is one of the most imposing beings you have ever encountered creating holes with his teeth in places you believe there weren't any before through what you're guessing used to be something green and made of rubber, but you aren't too sure. you ask him what's wrong and he just stares at you blankly and goes "nothing? why would anything be?". it's just a casual case of both demon and sin brain going "AUURGHHHDHS *chomp*". absolutely feral unicorn man with the straightest teeth you've ever seen.
asmodeus is in the same predicament as lucifer when it comes to checking himself out but instead he embraces the moment. and checks other people out too, as long as what they're wearing catches his attention. he's a very touchy demon so you can find him absentmindedly having his hands on you without even realising he does it: twirling a strand of your hair, playing with your fingers, tracing your jawline. it's just that demon brain goes "ohoho!! my humnan look at my humin go!!" and can't not touch you after that. he also bites. you think it would be mammon or beel but nope it's asmo!! you're just too pretty and he wants to feel close to you!! don't bring it up though he gets embarrassed. you know that meme where person a says "i wonder what i taste like" and person b says "i can help with that" and a imagines a kiss and b imagines biting person a? yeah, inside asmo are two wolves.
beelzebub is the randomest fucking demon in that household idc. he's always so quiet and you never know what he's thinking until one day he brings home a human world ostrich like it's nothing and gives it a "tour of its new home"??? absolutely insane. he also buzzes randomly?? like you'll be hanging out in the common room and all of a sudden you hear "bbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" only for another brother to go "beel. i can't concentrate on my book. please refrain from buzzing inside the house"??? hello??? i think he's got a passion for cleaning too (thousands of years of food and blood stains, crumbs and mould have taught him a couple things) so he is always ready to assist in cleaning his brother's rooms and won't stop until they look brand new. his most demon brain moment is when he lifts things. doesn't matter what or how heavy it is, if he sees something new around him he has to give it a little lift. same thing with the people he's fond of. you have been grabbed by the armpits one too many times to have an impromptu simba moment for three seconds, only for beel to just go on with his day, no explanation. what a demon *sighs dreamily*.
belphegor is the most like his familiars (or at least his habits are most prominent). you see the demon chewing and chewing and chewing like one bite of food and if you dare look at him weird he gives you the cow stare (pls tell me you know what im talking about). you see him in full demon form running headfirst into a wall with his horns (#satan_and_belphie_bonding_activity) and if you dare look at him weird he gives you the cow stare. kinda like his twin, he does random moo or hffphhhmp noises according to his mood without realising ("no belphegor, you can not destroy every wall in this house with your horns" "moOOO"). demon brain goes brrrr with some human world grass and some sunshine. like he absolutely loves being in that mediterranean countryside, twirling some grass between his fingers, eating it, living his life. best brother to go on a picnic with hands down.
fucking dorks *heart eyes*
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babydollmarauders · 8 months
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MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 2)
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
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y/ndevils00 hello and welcome back to your preseason recap! i’m your host, y/n “dove”, here to give you my totally unbiased and not at all subjective rundown!
as this is preseason, not all of our favorite whores were playing tonight (gotta give the babies a chance!) but among the ones who WERE, we have best friend (or idiot) number 2, sweet baby jesper, akira-shakira, basket bahl, smush, uncle lizard, new-found uncle truffle, and everyone’s favorite babygirl: jacky!
side note: do you guys think Jack was looking around suspiciously in fear of me taking his picture? 👀
we had a pretty uneventful first period until my recently acquired uncle, tyler, scored the first goal of the game! go uncle truffle! he also let uncle lizard borrow his stick and glove! we love besties who share!
we opened second period with (fuck it we) bahl getting a penalty for interference! in my opinion, he didn’t interfere with anything because trash cannot be disrupted… but whatever! (yes i did stand on an empty seat to get that picture over the glass, no i will not be stopped)
halfway through second we had a goalie switch! those are fun! (they are not fun.) and i was caught taking a picture…. that doesn’t happen often, the guys can’t usually find me… i think schmido-torpedo has a y/n-sense. kinda like the sense i have to catch Jack when he’s watching cocomelon (that can also be found on slide 6)
in third period, my sweet sweet baby bratter got the devils ahead by one with his goal! pop off, you sweet swedish fish!
seeing as he went to the matt tkachuk school of hockey, lukey pookie was seen chewing on his mouth guard like LSH and electrical cords 🫶
and finally, i added in a picture of maraschino cherry, because he did good tonight despite being the apparent object of the rags hatred and being targeted! he held his own and even pushed a rags player tonight!
p.s. we scored an empty netter goal as well, getting us a 3-2 win tonight, but the puck flew in on its own for us? who knew that was possible!
tagged jackhughes, curtislazar95, tofff73, kevinbahl88, akiraschmid93, jesperbratt, lhughes_06, and john.marino97
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jackhughes i live in constant fear of your camera
y/ndevils00 oh shush, you love my camera
jackhughes no, i love YOU. i put up with your camera
y/ndevils00 aw shucks, you love me 🥰
jackhughes dear god please don’t ever say “aw shucks” again
y/ndevils00 ya know, i’m not really feeling the love here
jackhughes never intended for you to
user29 marino: 😗 y/n: 📸
john.marino97 did i just get… outright praise from you?! i thought i knew what it felt like to win, but i never REALLY did until now
y/ndevils00 don’t get used to it. i pitied you and best friend number 1 didn’t play tonight
john.marino97 i’m gonna ignore that
jackhughes for the last time: I’M WATCHING PLAYS! NOT COCOMELON!
y/ndevils00 say what you want but i know your youtube history
kevinbahl88 i was trying so hard to ignore you
y/ndevils00 you can’t ignore me forever, soccer bahl! i always get to the players eventually!
kevinbahl88 you scare me
y/ndevils00 you’re like 10 feet tall, how do EYE scare YOU? you could squash me like a spider
kevinbahl88 or i could not be watching and trip over you and break my neck
y/ndevils00 this feels like an attack on MY height now… @/colecaufield how do you deal with this?
colecaufield now hold on… wtf
akiraschmid93 i do have a y/n sense, i acquired it over the playoffs
y/ndevils00 that scares me
akiraschmid93 i’m always watching
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes TELL HIM TO STOP
jackhughes how does it feel, dove?
y/ndevils00 i- LSH and i are moving in with john
john.marino97 no, you’re not! i can’t have you there to cockblock when i’m trying to hook up
y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 this is why dawson is best friend number 1
lhughes_06 did you just compare me to your cat with an apparent death wish?
y/ndevils00 be nice to Lil’ Satan! she may not be smart, but where she lacks brain cells, she makes up for in cuddles! kinda like your brother!
jackhughes all i do is love you and this is the thanks i get?
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes you get other kinds of thanks too! but you said i can’t speak of that on here anymore
lhughes_06 god please don’t. i see all your posts.
user18 y/n is out here acquiring uncles like i acquire new nhl crushes
tofff73 did you just nickname me truffle? and call me your uncle?
y/ndevils00 welcome to the devils!
tofff73 thanks? i think?
nicohischier you get used to her, she’s an acquired taste… but you have no choice but to acquire it
curtislazar95 you are my favorite niece
y/ndevils00 🥹 and you are my favorite uncle, lizard man 🫶
curtislazar95 🦎💚
jesperbratt hey! that’s me!
y/ndevils00 that’s you!! you look at you all smiley and scoring a goal! i’ll break lindy’s kneecaps for you… i don’t think it would be that hard. he’s old.
nicohischier y/n, i’m BEGGING you to stop dissing our coach. you’re gonna lose your job!
y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier nah, lindy thinks i’m funny
jackhughes @/nicohischier i wish she was joking but i’m pretty sure he called her his honorary daughter last sunday after she said she would be in his walls if she couldn’t go to Montreal and see Cole
dawson1417 i feel left out. i don’t like not playing!
y/ndevils00 so get your skates on and play! what lindy gonna do? tell you no?
dawson1417 uh yeah?
y/ndevils00 oh- well leave that up to me then
dawson1417 what are you gonna do…
y/ndevils00 shhh don’t worry about it
trevorzegras i’m so glad i’m not a devil and don’t have to be subjected to these posts
y/ndevils00 you’re unemployed, you should probably be worrying about bigger things right now before i have to see you as a thirst trap tiktoker
user72 the return of jack the ipad kid!!
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91dawsonmercer · 2 months
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𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆:𝐃𝐀𝐖𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄
We've been adjusting to the move pretty well for the most part. The Devils are playing the Canucks tonight so mom and dad are visiting and Odessa is absolutely loving all of the attention she has been getting.
Poor Quinn has been getting her ipad shoved in his face every five seconds, Luke was forced to play dolls and Jack is honestly the only one that hasn't been tortured with something yet.
"What team are you rooting for tonight, Dee!?" Dad asks, and Quinn smirks at Jack and Luke as she runs into the room with her baby Canucks jersey on.
"Odessa!? Get that garbage off right now." Jack says, shaking his head. "What happened to the Devils being the best team?"
"Not when Quinner is playin'." She tells him, and Quinn holds up his hand for a high-five. "That's right, Dessa. Let them know where they rank."
"I'm telling your buddy that you're a traitor." Jack says.
She shrugs, holding her arms up for Quinn to pick her up. "Owen will forgive me."
During warm ups Owen immediately pointed out that Odessa's jersey was for the other team and after a little bit of explaining he understood why.
The whole game the kids were talking about stuff that was going on with the bench.
"Dawsy has an ipad?" Odessa says, pointing.
"Do you think he's watching coc'melon?" Owen asks.
Reanne and I both laugh.
"That's definitely what he's watching, guys." Reanne answers.
The Canucks end up winning six to four and Odessa is letting Jack and Luke have it.
"You lost." She points at them.
"Yeah, Dessa. We know." Luke says, picking her up.
"Where's Dawsy?" She asks, looking around for him.
"He already left. You'll see him at home." Jack tells her and I look at him confused.
"What?" I ask.
"Mom, Dad and Luke are babysitting. We're going out." He says.
"Don't I have a say so in this?" I question.
"Nope."
Back at the apartment, Odessa is giving Luke attitude about getting ready for bed.
"Your clothes are on your bed. Go get changed." He tells her and she shakes her head no. "I waiting for Daws."
"We won't leave without you getting to ask him about the ipad, Dess. Let's go get changed into your pjs." I say, picking her up and carrying her into her room.
I get her changed and she grabs her blanket from her bed before running back out of the room.
"Dawsy!" She yells, her voice echoing through the apartment.
"Hi, Dess. I heard you got something to ask me." He says, picking her up.
"You lost."
"I did. Was that all you had to tell me?" Dawson laughs.
She shakes her head no. "Were you watching coc'melon?"
They all look over at me confused.
"She seen you on the ipad and Owen and her were taking bets if you were watching cocomelon or not." I tell him.
"Oh. No, I was watching a replay of the previous play." Dawson tells her and she nods.
"Okay, you asked Dawson your question. Now it's bedtime." Mom says, causing Odessa to reach for her.
"Be good for Mimi, Pap and Luke, Okay. Don't give them any trouble about going to bed." I kiss her cheek and she wipes it off. "I won't, Mommy."
"Alright, let's go before she somehow manages to get out of going out." Jack says, practically dragging me out of the apartment.
In the Uber ride to the bar, Jack turns around in the front seat so he's facing us.
"We aren't being sappy emotional drunks tonight, got it y/n." He tells me, and I nod.
I've always been the type to get drunk and let my emotions get the best of me, but I'm determined not to let that happen tonight.
I bought first round because I technically owed them it since they all helped me move in, but after that, the guys wouldn't let me pay.
Jack and Nico went to get us more drinks, leaving Dawson and I at our table. The drinks start to hit, and I start to think about everything and feel like I'm failing Odessa. I start to cry, and Dawson looks over at me.
"What's wrong?" Dawson asks, pulling me into a hug.
"I just… I feel like I'm not doing enough for Odessa. She's been through so much with the move and everything, and I just want her to be happy. But sometimes I feel that I'm not doing a good job as a mom."
Dawson pulls back slightly to look at me. "Y/N, you're an amazing mom. Odessa is so lucky to have you. Moving to a new place is tough, but she's adjusting. You're doing everything you can for her, and that's what matters. Don't be so hard on yourself."
I smile weakly. "Thanks, Dawson. I really needed to hear that."
Jack raises an eyebrow at me as he puts my drink down in front of me. "Everything okay?"
Jack and Nico return to the table, carrying a fresh round of drinks.
"Yeah, just had a moment." I reply.
We drink our drinks and uber back. Deciding to go to Dawson's apartment so we didn't risk waking Odessa up.
"Nico and I will take the couch. Y/n, you're with Dawson." Jack tells me.
"Is that okay with you?" I ask Dawson, and he nods.
I follow Dawson back to his room, and he grabs a pair of sweats and throws them at me.
"The bathroom's right there," he says.
"Thank you," I reply, heading into the bathroom. I change into the sweats and return to the room.
We get into bed, and can hear Jack and Nico yelling at each other in the living room.
"Get your nasty feet out of my face!" Jack's voice rings out.
"Get your face out of my feet, Hughesy," Nico retorts.
Dawson laughs, shaking his head. "Those two are like an old married couple."
I laugh, nodding in agreement. "They really are."
As we drift off to sleep, I feel a sense of contentment wash over me. Tonight may have had its emotional moments, but being surrounded by people who care makes it all worth it.
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hungerofhadarr · 2 months
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Okay . She mass on my gate until the Baldur is effected . Is this Anything .
Like I said b4 … Wyll is a human Spectre with artificial biotics that Mizora funds and controls . Hidden face of the Alliance he probably doesn’ t have any identifying symbols but he’ s . He is the Omniblade of the Frontiers . You feel me ? He would be a Sentinel honestly … the class just fits him the best … Rarely gets actual assignments but always has access to a ship , aid , evac , etc due to being a spectre and also … Mizora … she is not letting him go he is her magnum opus .. like I also stated b4 the artificial biotics definitely have very Adverse and Dangerous side effects , so he has to keep up with a lot of medication and routine hospital checks and medical testing , but he also cannot have it removed unless Mizora willingly removes it , because she is the only one that really can ..
Karlach . Okay . So . She has to be like a Cerberus Super Solider Test right . Like she was under Project Zariel and the whole point was to make an extremely powerful and unbeatable soilder , leading to still having her heart replaced with a mechanical replacement . That is still killing her because it’ s not like it was anything more that a prototype , and she escaped before it was fully fixed and updated so she could live without needed it monitored and constantly tweaked 24/7 .. now I know that this would make her human but the vision of Krogan or YAGH KARLACH is also fucking dope .. sorry Yagh Karlach is like cocomelon to me right now . Honestly I think that’ s gonna be the only way . Yaghlach …. Full solider class , something like a Dragoon without biotic whips
Astarion is Ardak-Yakshi . Look me in my eyes and tell me I am wrong . I am not . Um I think huntresses are like . The asari term for infiltrators … he kinda has to be that . When he was being transported to the Monastery , the ship got attacked and Cazador was the one to “ save him “ . Now , here’ s where I am pondering . Cazador can be another Ardak-Yakshi , targeting others when they are being transported to the monasteries , and is trying to like . Set up his own personal army of them . You know how Morinth says that Ardak-Yakshi are the perfect future of the Asari race ? Yeah . He’ s taking that to heart . OR . Or . He can be a scientist . Human , maybe , or whatever . But he is a non-asari Fully fixated on Ardak-Yakshi and trying to understand how it develops and how he can utilize it . Can he somehow develop something to mimic this power , can he work backwards to recreate it … etc etc
… Lae’zel should be a Prothean survivor . I was kinda going back and forth between Quarian or Batarian , but she would be a fucking Prothean !!!!! Avatar of go fuck yourself . She would be similar to Javik and be an avatar of something very similar . Revenge , I think . I think she would choose Revenge to be what she represents. I mean , Protheans and Collectors echo Gith and Mindflayers to Be Clear and Frank .. Prothean born near the end of her original cycle and was forced into a cryopod .. ohh wouldn’ t it be fucked up if Voss gave up his pod for her ? Like he knew they would need her and her youth and her ability to adapt for the next cycle and made sure she would survive .. ORPHEUS . Ohh okay . She thinks that he was a betrayer and ratted out Prothean resistance groups but she learns through having access to the archive and with new research that he was the last standing against indoctrinated groups trying to betray a save zone … yeah … Vlaakith is like . Sovereign . And keeps trying to speak to her through the collectors and trying to convince her to join them . She also probably preys upon her fear of being forgotten or failing her duty .. Ohhh fuck yeah
Gale is . Okay I have Two Ideas . The most ‘ correct ‘ one is that he is a Drell biotic who would be like . A wandering scholar ? Like his purpose is to gather knowledge and experience and bring it back to Kahje . Mystra could be the one he serves in a Compact , alongside other drell like Elminster .. he’ s been sent off world after getting too cocky and overstepping in the eyes of Mystra , and he needs to go learn humility before he can return back . He’ s an adept .. trying to translate the orb … either it is Kepral’s Syndrome and he’ s gone without care for it for a concerning stretch of time , or it could be related to biotics in some way … how ? Good question . But honestly it would make the most sense if he did have Kepral’s Syndrome in place of the orb . Okay second idea that I won’ t go with but i like . Geth Gale ( chose the name Gale based on the definitions of both a strong wind and an outburst ) who is now an outlier Geth .. MYSTRA was like . A group name for his collective mind until he was cast out from the group . YOU GOTTA ADMIT YOU GET THIS VISION TOO
Shadowheart . I really like her as a Quarian .. Quarian who was taken away from the fleet and raised outside of it .. being told all her life her family gave her up and traded her so they couldn’ t be exiled from the fleet .. So she lives in full resentment of them and the fleet and other Quarians she sees on pilgrimage because of how cruel it was for her to not have that , that her family gave her up and never tried to contact her , that the fleet would be so cruel to her and allow such a trade off ... but that isn’ t actually true . She was forcefully taken and raised by non-quarians , mostly because they saw her as a chance to try and understand the Quarian immune systems and responses and use that research for riches … if they can reverse engineer a way to artificially boost immune systems and make Quarians pay a random for it , then.. project SHAR . That is what I’ ll call it . That is also why her hand is constantly injured they’ re running tests and using that wound like a controlled variable . Aylin and Isobel are Quarians too , and Aylin has been on a hunt to find Shadowheart since she learned of her kidnapping .. she’ s the team medic but also the engineer … spirit guardians are still a thing they are drones that shoot rockets at you
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fruitanddarkness · 1 year
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Mia my beloved. Please. I require serotonin. Give me incorrect headcanons about the upper moons.
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Daki: claims to be a name brand influence but only has 9 subscribers and a sponsorship from shein.
Gyutaro: Smells like a whole foods & works as a babysitter but really just puts on Cocomelon before fucking off to bully kids in Fortnite.
Gyokko: A monster-fucker who became his kink after his application for aquarium janitor got rejected.
Hantengu: Has egg farts 24/7 and blames it on others.
Akaza: Forced to take anger management classes & banned from local magic tournaments for being 'too enthusiastic'.
Douma: Identifies as an unproblematic hetero but is actually just the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.
Kokushibo: Doesn't talk to anybody to hide the fact that he's legally blind & has extreme social anxiety.
Muzan: Desires immortality in order to become the next tumblr sexy man...or the grinch. Whichever comes first.
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