just my unstructured thoughts on “complicated and sad”
I’m not huge on radiostatic and haven’t thought about the dynamic as much as other people so probably I’ll be retreading common ground
radiostatic friendship had to have broken up for smth more ideological, it would honestly be a bit boring/disappointing if it was just over the unrequited romance aspect (but it was likely a contributing factor)
the fact that vox asked alastor to join his team gives a few clues
I think atp vox still thought positively of alastor while alastor’s opinion of vox was starting to deteriorate. Vox respected alastor enough to *ask* him to join, rather than manipulate or try to force him
if that’s the case, then whatever vox did that alastor hated likely wasn’t malicious (but knowing vox, it was still a bad/harmful thing)
it seems like the kind of situation where alastor showed discomfort and vox refused to change and didn’t understand what he was so mad about
what could vox have done that alastor disliked so much that it ruined a previously good friendship?
using people? Alastor does that
owning souls? Alastor does that
killing people? Alastor does that
associating with and enabling ppl like val? Maybe? It seems like an arbitrary line to draw, altho one of the comics shows alastor killing an attempted rapist
influencing people’s perception of them through media? Alastor does that, but maybe it was the difference of method that he didn’t like (hypnosis vs charisma)
being fake? Alastor does that but is better at it than vox (smiling to hide weakness)
being weak*? (*not just physically) Now we’re talking. Alastor hates weakness, both in other people and himself. He hates when people let their composure slip and tries to exploit any weakness he sees. Maybe it disgusted him to see someone he thought was strong actually prove to be weak, insecure, and pathetic
a combination of the last three seems the most plausible to me (especially considering what things alastor disses vox for in stayed gone), but I’m still struggling to come up with something that has the right amount of “oomph” to it
I’m curious what alastor initially liked about vox in the first place?
did he only like him bc he thought vox was stronger than he actually was?
has vox just changed so much over the years that the vox alastor formed a friendship with was basically a different person? That would make me curious about what sparked that change in vox—was it a particular incident or gradual corruption?
does alastor hate modernity because of vox or does he hate vox because of his modernity?
leaning twds the former, the way alastor speaks abt tech has a personal tinge to it
most of vox’s hostility twds alastor is prob due to what alastor did as rejection
supported by vox not having much variety of his insults in stayed gone
yes he’s pathetic and might be salty that he doesn’t return his feelings, but I feel like that’s not the whole explanation
does “I thought he was gone *for good* too” imply that alastor has previously disappeared or been shooed away by the vees and came back soon after?
“he owes us a lot more than money” + “things have changed a lot since he left town… …I gotta send a message of who’s really in charge of things now” = before he disappeared, alastor was previously in control, possibly by sabotaging the vees and overthrowing them?
I didn’t rlly mention “still pissed he almost beat you that time?” bc that had to have been after the fallout, so not as much to dig into there (this isn’t to say that I don’t desperately want a flashback of it lol)
hmmmmmmmnfgh… so many questions
I really hope their backstory has already been mostly planned out, bc it seems like something that would go poorly if you just made it up on the fly
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Hellooo, can you make a ftm! Reader x Toji comfort where reader has been feeling down due to dysphoria and feels he’s not enough for Toji and Toji notices this and comforts him abt it?
Feel free to delete/ignore this! :3
Also, i lof ur writings
⋆˚࿔ 🌊 . 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Note ~ of course! Thank you so much, I’m glad you like them! (^○^) DM me if you want any changes or smth please! I just wrote off what I thought would be short and sweet💔
MENTIONS — Fluff/Comfort, SFW, FTM!Reader, body dysmorphia, overthinking.
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You and Toji had plans to go out to a friend of yours party, it wasn’t anything major just a hangout for friends. As you were getting ready you looked at yourself in the mirror, placing your hands on your face feeling..icky about yourself. You began judging yourself, feeling like you didn’t look manly enough, how you felt like you didn’t fit into the male standards. You then began to start overthinking if Toji even loved you for you or if he thought you were just some ‘girl’ and not really a man. You were thinking the worst as those thoughts started to flood your head.
As you looked at yourself once more you viewed your body and even tried talking to yourself to hear your voice, you felt like you didn’t sound like a man enough. Like you weren’t enough for Toji in general, you sat on the floor burying your face into your hands as big tears fell down onto your hands. You were crying..shit after all that effort of getting ready to..that didn’t really matter to you though, you just wanted to be reassured that you were just over thinking and that you are a man. You are something.
To Toji you are his everything, you may not think it or may think poorly on yourself but he really does love you. You didn’t notice it until you felt Toji behind you wrapping his arms around you laying his head on your shoulder, he was looking at you with a slightly concerned voice but he suddenly spoke in a calm quiet tone, “hey, it’s okay. ‘m here, tell me what’s wrong.” He’d bring you in a tight embrace looking at you waiting for a response, he didn’t rush you but he wanted to know what was wrong with his boyfriend so he sat there patiently holding you into his arms as you then spoke in a awfully quiet, bothered, sad tone..
“I just uh..I don’t feel like i’m right. I feel out of place. My body I mean..I uh..” you paused mid sentence looking down, your breath was a bit shaky as you were still crying trying to keep your composure. You opened your mouth to speak once more but nothing came out, your mouth was left open, agape. He was also quiet, you then broke the silence by explaining how you felt, “I feel like you don’t really view me as a man like..no one does. I just look at myself and feel so disappointed. It’s tiring.” You slowly looked up at him, “I’m not good enough for you, I feel like I don’t really belong I’m just here for..no reason?”
The room was quiet for a few minutes after you had spoke, he gave you some time to think and calm down a little before he spoke softly. “No reason? I love ya’ very much, Y/N. Looking at you makes me happy knowing I’m dating such a handsome man.” He brushed your hair out of your face as he wiped any tears you had on your face, “I don’t care what ya’ are or want to be, I’ll b’ here for you. I don’t tend to say it much..I show it through action more than my words.” He loosened himself around you as he stood up and helped you get up, he looked at you with a serious genuine look, “we don’t have to attend that party with your friend, I want to spend time with you, is that okay?”
You nodded looking at him with a slight smile feeling a bit better but had some doubts about yourself but before you could even finish your thoughts he spoke up again just to reassure you to make sure he didn’t miss anything, “you are very worth it to me, I assure you there ‘s nothing wrong with ya’, you are just feeling doubt and down about yer’self and I understand. Though I may not understand yer struggle I understand it can be hard for you. And that’s perfectly fine, but you aren’t a girl, I don’t see you that way, at all.” He placed his hand on the side of your face and then kissed your cheek.
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the angst in your zombie au bREAKS MY HEART INTO PIECES (I LOVE IT VERY MUCH)
okay, okay, so!! if the kagebros got separated from reigen and teru when mob is still fine, i imagine that their reunion would be hEARTWRENCHING also, i'm a bit curious, would mob still be able to recognize teru and reigen? or would he thought about them as strangers?
(tbh, following your lore, i imagine mob would act a similarly like nezuko from demon slayer? but instead of little hums, his zombie sounds would more like babbling and incoherent mumbles :"D)
the reunion is fuckin AWFUL man it's SO gut-wrenching. both reigen and teru feared this for Months while looking for the brothers; pretty much the worst case scenario was that mob or ritsu or Both turned—a lot of humans prefer death over being a zombie any day, so the idea of ritsu or mob having to go through that and wander around aimlessly until starvation or smth else gets them,,,
it hurts them so much to think about. teru forces himself not to dwell on it and he's pretty good at that but reigen thinks abt it a lot and he's honestly not sure what scenario is worse. best case is that they're both alive and unturned, obviously, but what's the worst case? you'd think it's both of them getting killed, or turning, but reigen also knows that if One of them got killed/turned, the other would probably lose their mind, especially if they had to watch. the fact that they're kids makes this all three times worse and reigen has to act like he's Not worrying himself sick over the brothers while he tries to keep teru in high spirits
the reunion itself is rly fuckin gut-wrenching for them. they see mob from afar, wandered off just a bit from ritsu and tome who are just around the bend looting a place, and they book it bc ofc they do, it's mob!! but then they see how pale he is, and when he turns around they don't see that light in his eyes that's usually there and the red is dulled and dead looking,, teru almost moves in for a hug before he realizes mob looks vastly different when he Rly takes him in, and mob doesn't rly react too much besides staring at them blankly. the obvious answer is almost too horrifying to even consider, so it takes them a minute to rly,,realize what's going on
tome comes around the bend and shouts, cuz when humans and zombies mix it's usually guns pointed at zombie heads. ritsu comes running out after her and when he sees reigen and teru his thoughts go, in order: holy shit is that reigen and tero ohmygod oh my god they're alive they're alive ohmy god i could fucking cry, and ohmy god they see shige ohno oh no oh no
ritsu sounds like a lunatic when he pulls mob away from them on instinct and says that he's safe to be around and that he's "still him" and he's "not gone" and he's very aware of that. he's very, intimately aware that he sounds fuckin crazy, bc ofc he does, this is what all the crazy people in zombie movies sound like. but he doesn't care, he doesn't care if reigen or teru dismiss him as nuts—he has to make them understand that his brother is still in there somewhere
and yeah, they both kinda think that ritsu's lost his marbles a little bit, but while teru is focused on that and the fact that mob doesn't look like he's rly tuned into Anything that's happening rn, reigen is a bit more focused on the fact that both ritsu and mob look awful? they're both very skinny and very dirty, obviously barely scraping by. they're cut up and ritsu's jacket is basically blood and dirt with a little bit of green fabric mixed in. and just by the look in ritsu's eyes, reigen can tell, man ... reigen can tell ritsu is like.not okay at this point he's kinda lost it.
i think the most painful thing about this whole reunion in general is that later that night, when reigen and teru r finally like ok we get it he's,, he's still mob. we believe you (they want to believe him... [they Do believe him, later, wholeheartedly]) and they settle down someplace safe, teru asks how long mob's been like this. and ritsu has to answer "since we got separated" and they both have that to stew over while everybody else sleeps
they realize that ritsu likely watched mob turn, watched the entire process, and that process takes a long time. it's at least a week of deteriorating motor functions and cognitive skill, and the fact that ritsu stayed for that to keep mob company is .ough. and it doesn't end there bc ritsu obviously stayed after that too
given how these things usually go, ritsu probably did think about killing mob. it probably did cross his mind, bc that's basically what everybody's been told to do. kill them before they have a chance to do any more damage. and it's obvious that ritsu did not have it in him
ritsu not only did not have it in him to kill him, he didn't even have it in him to leave him there. the kid fucking took him with him. a zombie. and he's somehow made it work, for months. and the next few days are filled with watching him still treat mob like a brother and take care of him and gently steer him away from a bird he tries to follow down the wrong street.ritsu is as gentle and kind as he's ever been with his brother. and even tho they're both hungry and tired and barely making it, ritsu is doing a rly good job taking care of mob with what he's been given
the kid obviously wholeheartedly believes in a cure and that mob is still There. he's gone through the trouble to take care of him, and the grief of continuously seeing a loved one that many would consider effectively dead, to get him that cure. to get him his brother back. and mob doesn't seem to be in any pain or distress, so reigen and teru think that this path ritsu has followed is probably infinitely kinder than the mercy kill method they've been taught to do
i think they have a new respect for ritsu, after that reunion
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lets build some memories today and tomorrow too
momoi & midorima | rated g | word count: 1776 | where momoi and midorima go on a shopping trip together
for @mason-ajar for the 2024 @knbexchange !! prompt: character a and character b pick out outfits for eachother
i was super excited to see that we've been paired up for the exchange !! i haven't been able to write in a long while, but seeing your prompts gave me the inspiration needed to to write about a friendship that is just so important... and so here they are!!
read on ao3!!
Momoi was lying on her bed, mindlessly reading a sports magazine until her phone rang. It was too early in the morning for Aomine to be calling her. Maybe it was Kise?
“Hello?” She held her phone in between her head and shoulders.
“Momoi.” To her surprise, it was Midorima. “There is something I would like to talk to you about.”
“Midorin!” Momoi practically sang. She immediately sat up, abandoning the magazine. “You rarely call first! What is it? Oh, let me guess! Do you need a lucky item? Or are you having boy troubles?”
“No, I am not having, as you say, ‘boy troubles.’” There was a pause. Momoi figured it was Midorima pushing his glasses up. “I also have acquired my lucky item for the day. I need your assistance. Could you accompany me on a shopping trip?”
Momoi felt her already wide smile go even wider. “Of course, I’ll go with you!” She loved being invited to things– be it eating lunches at Maji Burger or coordinating streetball lessons for the local kids. Usually, she was the one doing the coordinating– which, for the record, wasn’t something she minded! But it was nice having the invitation go the other way every once in a while. Especially from Midorima!
People may think he was someone who wanted to be uninvolved, but it was not true! When luck permitted, he always came to different events like the team’s after practice ice cream trips. Sometimes he needed just a bit of nudging, nowadays in the form of Takao, but regardless, he didn’t often initiate events with her. She’d noticed that lucky item shopping is usually his excuse to hang out with others, but he already got his lucky item of the day.
She wondered if anyone else was coming. Takao or Kise maybe? She couldn’t help but ask. “Are we going with anyone else? Takao-kun? Or Ki-chan?”
“No, it would just be the two of us, if that would be alright with you.” There was a pause. “I understand that it may be… unusual for it to be just us, but you were the friend that I deemed would be able to help me best.”
“Aww Midorin, that’s so sweet of you!” She could imagine him blushing at the compliment. “Send me the details over email, and I’ll be there in an hour!”
Momoi saw Midorima standing on the outside of the clothing store. He wore a simple dark blue t-shirt and beige pants. He tightly held onto a giant penguin plush. When his eyes met with Momoi’s, his grip loosened.
She ran up to him, stopped right before him, and started bouncing on her feet. “So? What’s the occasion? What are we shopping for?”
“I… would like your help in choosing an outfit.” He turned his head to avoid eye contact. Momoi knew what that meant.
“So you were having boy troubles!” After everything that’s happened in the past few months, it’s been getting easier and easier to read Midorima and this was no exception. She will admit, however, that she hadn’t quite figured out who’d captured Midorima’s affection. Most people would say it was Takao who held the title as “The Boy Midorima Likes,” but Momoi had a theory she had been brewing up. It was still a work in progress, but her “Kagami Taiga: The Boy Who Has Captured Everyone’s Heart” thesis had a lot of evidence. Momoi would simply have to take into account both possibilities today.
“That would… that would imply that I am struggling, which I assure you is not the case,” Midorima’s face flushed and his voice was louder than usual. Momoi couldn’t help but laugh.
“But you’re not denying that this is a boy-related problem!” She winked. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about Midorin! I understand completely! Whenever I’m with the person I like, I always want to look my best. I won’t ask who it is, but I’ll give it my all in helping you out!”
“I… appreciate it…”
“You’ll definitely capture his heart, Midorin!” She began urging him into the clothes store. “Let’s go!”
“I think this outfit will be the one, Midorin!” Momoi held up a green sweater with an argyle pattern. “It’ll go great with your eyes!”
Midorima took the sweater to examine it.
“Besides the color being the same as my eyes, is there anything else to take note of?”
Momoi giggled. Midorima’s questions reminded her of a time in middle school where Midorima asked about her notes and note taking strategies. He was always serious in his studies, and this was no exception. “You want to pick clothes that fit well and that you’re comfortable wearing! Make sure that colors and patterns don’t clash. Like two very bright colors! It can work, but I’m not too sure if that’s what you want to go with.”
Throughout her speech, she could see Midorima nodding and paying very close attention to her words. “So for the pants, should I go with one of the darker ones?”
“Yes! Let me choose…” Momoi looked around, surveying each pair of pants until she found one she thought to be suitable. “I think those black pants should work! Check to see if they fit!”
“Thank you.” He gently placed his giant penguin plush down and grabbed the pair from Momoi. “I truly do appreciate the time you’ve taken out of your day to help me with this.” The tips of his ears were red. She found it quite cute, but chose not to comment.
“Of course, Midorin!” Momoi beamed at him. “I’m honored you asked me to help you out with this! I’ll be cheering you on!”
His blush spread to his face. He managed to mutter a thank you before shuffling off to try on the outfit. She sat down to wait for Midorima. Would this be a one time thing? While it was the first time that it’s been just the two of them, Momoi found that she quite enjoyed the experience. With just the two of them, the energy wasn’t as face paced, which Momoi appreciated. Sometimes, she needed the break from the constant running around of her daily life. And not only that, but Midorima had definitely changed. It was easier to understand him now.
When Midorima walked out, she saw some people began to sneak glances at her friend. Unfortunately for the interested party, his heart had been taken by someone else. She bounced on over and eye’d her friend at all sorts of angles. Midorima stiffened at the attention, not knowing what to do.
Momoi laughed. “It’s fine Midorin! You look great!” She gave him a thumbs up.
At that, Midorima sighed, finally letting the tension escape. “That endeavor was just as difficult as I imagined it to be.” He pushed his glasses up. “Thank you Momoi for making this trip much easier. Your knowledge was crucial and your guidance saved me a lot of frustration. Is there any way to repay you?”
Momoi thought about it and couldn’t think of anything she needed at the moment. Just spending time with a friend was already a gift in itself. But she knew that he wouldn’t take that as an answer. She placed a finger on her chin as she thought of her options.
“I want you to pick an outfit for me!”
“I beg your pardon?” Momoi could see the gears running in Midorima’s head. “Do you not already have suitable clothes?”
“I want to test what you’ve learned! Let’s see if you can make an outfit for me.”
“I’m not sure if–”
“C’mon Midorin! I know you can do it! You’re not one to back away from a challenge are you?” With that, Momoi knew she won.
“Give me ten minutes.” Midorima rushed towards the center of the score, scanning all around to find an outfit that would look well on her. She couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that his penguin plush was tucked between Midorima’s arms.
“A brown plaid skirt, a white blouse without any patterns, and a light brown sweater that clashes with neither of these colors.” Midorima used his penguin to hold onto the clothes, as its flippers served the clothes like how there’s a waiter serving food at a restaurant. “Is this a suitable outfit?”
“There’s only one way to find out!” It was her turn to try on something new. She came out with a little twirl, “Well, Midorin? I have my thoughts, but let’s check your sense of fashion. What do you think?”
Midorima wasted no time. “For the skirt and jacket, I was hesitant at first since you chose a sweater that specifically matched the colors of my eyes, but the neutral colors appear to coordinate well. I also ensured that the blouse had no patterns. I do believe that it fits the criteria.”
She saw a slight hint of a smile. Was he proud? She hoped so, as she truly did love the outfit that Midorima chose. “But do you think I look cute? Do you think I can capture the hearts of anyone I set my eyes on?”
“You… you asked me for my thoughts and I believe I answered appropriately. Was I incorrect in this assessment?”
“I’m just messing with you Midorin!” She saw the hint of exasperation on Midorima’s face and so she finally relented. “It’s such a cute outfit! I’m impressed!”
“Hmph.” He turned away and began walking towards the cash register. “In that case, let’s go.”
Momoi followed along happily.
Outside of the store, Midorima said, “Thank you again. I found myself enjoying our time together.” There was a pause as he ruminated on what to say next. “I hope we can do this again. I’ve been told it would be beneficial to be the one to reach out more, so I will try to do just that.”
Momoi felt a tinge of tears begin to form, but she willed them away. To think only a year ago, she was wishing for a time where everyone could smile together again. So much had changed, and she hoped that it would continue to do so.
“And thank you Midorin,” She gave her friend a very wide smile. “Let’s definitely do this again. But before you leave, you definitely have to tell me about who you like! Come on! Tell me! Tell me!”
Midorima’s cheeks reddened as he tried to back away, but he realized fairly quickly that this was a battle he would not win. “Fine. But let’s do it somewhere else.”
“Of course, Midorin,” she said as she walked with her friend towards their next destination.
notes:
i couldn't decide if i wanted to have hints of midotaka or hints of midokaga bc i like both ships a lot! i ended up just keeping it vague on both ends, so YOU, the reader, can decide who The Boy Midorima Likes is :)
outfits are based on some merchandise art and official art! midorima's outfit is this:
momoi's outfit is this:
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