Remembering how I had an allergic reaction one summer. Complete with hundreds of hives all over my back and my throat swelling. And I had to go to the ER and get an IV of antihistamines.

And then I went to the allergist and they didn't see any new allergies on the test so the allergist said THAT I MUST HAVE BEEN BITTEN BY BUGS AND DIDN'T NOTICE. THAT I WAS BITTEN MY HUNDREDS OF BUGS THAT GAVE ME HIVES. NOT BITES. AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. AND YES HE WAS A MAN

If you’re interested in a story with “Please don’t be scared of me. I’m not dangerous, I’m just big.”

However you please! You’re writing is amazing btw

PROMPT

“Please don’t be scared of me. I’m not dangerous, I’m just big.”

Big and small, we’ll see it all

*WHACK!*

Zower’s fist collided hard with what he was sure was a jaw. He ducked the next boy’s punch and, with a quick jab, nailed him in the gut. The boy’s air was thrown from his lungs, and he crumpled. Good thing he aimed high…

He felt someone grab around his waist and attempt to lift him up. Fool. The older teen used his weight in his favor and threw his head back, sending him and the boy who attempted to grapple him to the ground. Because the boy wasn’t ready for it, he was disoriented, and his head collided harshly with the ground. He groaned in pain as Zower grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him just enough to be a few inches off of the ground.

“Stay down!” he growled. His attention turned to the other brawling boys, eyes focused on his friend and the reason for this midday spat - Birrant Spennek.

Birrant, in the meantime, focused all of his energy on the one boy who was about his size. They each had gripped the other’s shirt and were throwing one another around, trying to throw them off balance. The boy snarled and forced his hand up, clocking Birrant in the cheek. Birrant was sure he was going down when the eyes of the boy he was fighting widened. He let go and took several steps back in retreat as did the other boys who were nearby.

The one Zower nailed earlier forced himself to his feet and spat.

“This isn’t over Speck,” he said as he and his thug friends. Zower glared, his dark brown eyes practically boring holes into the boys’ backs.

“See you next time then, Fayne,” Zower growled.

He made sure the other boys were far down the road before turning to his friend, eyes softening slightly.

“I’d like to think you didn’t provoke them, but I swear you’ve made it a habit to run into those rats every chance you get,” stated Zower with a hint of sarcasm.

“You know I didn’t,” retorted Birrant as he reached up with his thumb and attempted to stanch the blood sluggishly leaking from his split lip. He looked up, practically craning his neck, to see Zower flash a sarcastic grin.

“Mmhmm,” hummed Zower suspiciously. He looked down at his knuckles and checked to make sure he wasn’t bleeding too bad before reaching into his side pouch and holding out a wad of herbs he collected earlier that day to his friend.

“Thanks,” muttered Birrant. “I swear I’ll hit my growth spurt one of these days. Let’s see them pick on me then.” Zower chuckled and grabbed his friend playfully around the neck, forcefully ruffling Birrant’s platinum blonde hair which had been smudged with mud and blood.

“Like that’ll happen,” teased the older teen.

“Hey!” Birrant struggled futilely. “Not fair! You’re basically an adult! You’re older and stronger.”

“Not really, and it doesn’t matter. You should be able to fight back at this point. I go for the same moves every time,” stated Zower as if he were bored. He released his friend after a few seconds and, for his actions, Zower received a comparatively weak punch to the side from his teenage friend.

“Manners,” muttered Birrant. It was something his mother always said when he was misbehaving and, naturally, he mirrored the behavior.

The two teens walked off to a nearby well with a running stream to tidy up.

This had been their pattern now for many moon cycles.

Birrant would get picked on and a fight would break out, Zower would come running out of nowhere, they’d fight off the thugs together, and then the two teens would go off and talk or hang out until Zower started feeling unwell and had to go rest back at his home. Birrant offered for Zower to come and rest at his home, but it was always turned down politely with some explanation or another and would depart, promising his friend he would return the next day and fight at his side. Even though the fights were becoming a less frequent occurrence, they still happened from time to time.

Though this wasn’t always how things were.

Birrant Spennek never really considered himself someone notable or special in any sense of the word. He didn’t understand why he was the center of torment for the older, bigger boys of his home in Wohl. Then again, it wasn’t like Birrant ever questioned their motives. He was slight of stature, the youngest boy in his age group, and had a memory like a steel trap.

Needless to say, he was singled out early on and dealt with torment for years from the same group of five boys.

It was because of the fights and the older boys picking on Birrant that the two boys became friends in the first place.

Birrant still remembered that day. He had just left the schoolhouse and knew immediately the boys were going to give chase. They did that often. They would wait in the alleys and shadows like they were hunting him before chasing him through their town streets and cornering him and beating him bloody.

He tried to outrun them and outwit them, but the odds were never in his favor with five against one. This particular day, Birrant had a plan to climb barrels to the safety of a roof, relying on his thin and dextrous muscles, but no such luck happened. The barrels were knocked out from under him and he crashed down to the ground, sure he was about to receive another beating when something - someone - stepped in.

Zower.

Zower had been in their town of Wohl for about a week at the time. He was skilled in herbs and wanted to live a solitary life after his family and possessions were taken and destroyed by the monsters and creatures in the mountains where he used to live. He barely escaped with his life and asked the town elders if he could simply live off in the woods with permission to enter the town to trade the supplies he harvested from the first.

Zower saw Birrant being surrounded and simply sprang into action, charging in and fighting off the other teens. If Birrant closed his eyes, he could still hear Zower’s battle cry as he came sprinting at his tormentors. The younger teen regretted not springing into action and helping his newfound friend the first fight they were in together, but he made every effort to participate and defend himself after.

When Birrant asked Zower why he stepped in, Zower had a direct and very simple response.

“Answer should be obvious. I hate bullies.”

It was all history from that point on. The two boys became fast friends. Despite the relative age gap of about three years, the two of them had a lot in common.

They had a love of things that grew like plants and herbs, woodland investigation, and wanted to travel and see the world. They both had a fascination for potions and for the arcane and magic in the world. They talked endlessly about how they would discover the secrets of the universes that swirled around them. The best place to do that was The Lyceum, a school for knowledge seekers across the world.

Though Birrant was the only one who could read between the two of them, Zower’s curiosity was insatiable. More often than not, their talk consisted of traveling to The Lyceum and learn everything they could before taking the world by storm.

Their talk was always just that though - talk.

Birrant was more than ready to take up stakes and travel, seeing the world with his friend, but Zower was a bit more hesitant. Birrant wasn’t one to pry, but he did ask once why Zower was reluctant to leave a town he hadn’t known all his life when Birrant was champing at the bit, ready to leave at the drop of a hat. Zower’s response still chilled Birrant.

“You don’t know what they’re like…”

Birrant knew exactly what - who - Zower was referring to.

In this land of the arcane blessed and potions and monstrous creatures that lurked in the shadows of the forest, there were other dangers - and not all of them were human. Though the town they lived in, Wohl, was just an average town that was nestled in the forest beyond the mountains, it was protected from many outside dangers.

One of those dangers were the giants – the Mendo.

The Mendo, for the most part, left towns and villages alone. Still, it didn’t stop the occasional rampage and slaughter of a roaming tribe.

Birrant didn’t need to ask Zower to put together that it was probably the giants that destroyed his family and his possessions, leaving him to live alone in the woods. So, when the subject of travel came up, Birrant was always left feeling slightly hollow. He wanted to travel with his friend, but he instead settled for the stories Zower told of his own travels before everything was taken from him.

So, as they tidied themselves up at the stream by the well, Birrant asked his friend about his travels. Zower had the best stories about all of the places he had been to. Nyfee. Enhuryn. The Pol Islands. Everywhere, something interesting happened which only fueled Birrant’s drive to travel far away even more.

“You are blessed by the Souls. Handpicked by them to live an exciting life,” moaned Birrant as he pulled up another bucket of well water to help clean out his wounds. Zower chuckled and reached up awkwardly to scratch his messy black hair which was now long enough to hang in his eyes.

“Hardly,” muttered Zower. “My family traded security for adventure.”

“But to see the dunes and smell the brine of the sea? That sounds so much better than scraping mud thumpers off of tree roots,” countered Birrant. “I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to go back and see all of these places?”

“Sometimes,” replied Zower as he folded his arms against his chest. “But I like it here. Of all the places I’ve gone to, I have probably liked this one the most.”

“Really? You can’t be serious,” said Birrant disbelievingly. “This place?”

“It’s quiet here. You don’t have to worry about a lot of things here. There’s plenty of hunting, fertile ground, and there is nothing like the forest at night.”

“You know where else is quiet? The Lyceum. We could travel across to the Ibry-ne, stop off by Caprice, and then we would be there!” said Birrant excitedly. Zower chuckled and shook his head.

“You know that is a four-moon ride by itself, right?”

“So? We’ll get horses and go.”

“And your parents?” prompted Zower. Birrant shot his friend a dirty look.

“I’d… come back… eventually…” he said quietly, knowing that his case was already at its end. Sometimes he could tease the conversation into a couple hour long debate, but today wasn’t one of those days.

“And leave them on their own?” asked Zower, his dark brown eyes proading Birrant into relative submission. Birrant sighed and shook his head as he finished cleaning the split in his lip.

“Well, if you ever want to go back out there, you let me know. Oh! That reminds me. Are we still going hunting for Peekem root?” asked Birrant, surrendering his argument in exchange for a new subject.

“Yeah, I think… ggaahh…” Zower suddenly doubled over, letting out a gasp of pain. His arms, which were casually folded across his chest, jolted and wrapped around his middle. His teeth were gritted to the point where Birrant could hear them grinding against one another.

He had never seen his friend like this and, instantly, his heart tripled in pace and adrenaline coursed through his body. He rushed forward and grabbed Zower’s shoulders, panicking as he realized that if Zower fell forward there was no way he could catch his falling friend.

“Zower? Zower! You okay? What’s wrong?” Beads of sweat were forming on Zower’s temple. His breath shuddered in his chest. His entire body was shaking. The color in his cheeks drained as his body raged like an inferno. After nearly thirty seconds, Zower’s breathing regulated. His pulse started to slow, but he was still shaking.

“I’m okay. I’m just… not feeling well. I’m sorry. I just… need to go home. Here. I’ll walk you back,” said Zower.

“You kidding? I’m making sure you get back,” insisted Birrant, which made Zower reach out and grip his friend’s shoulders. “Come on.”

“Birrant, maybe it’s better if you… hngg… just… stay here. I swear, I’m fine. Get home safe and I’ll see you tonight,” insisted Zower. Before Birrant could argue, Zower stood at his full height, making him tilt his head back to catch the worried expression on Zower’s face, and took off running, sprinting, toward the edge of town by the forest.

Birrant had every mind to go after his friend, but there was no way he could catch him.

What in the name of the Souls just happened? Zower had never acted like that before. What was going on? Was he actually hurt? Maybe the fight took more out of him than he let on.  

Birrant decided to question his friend later and, for now, go home and gather his supplies to hunt Peekem root the next day.

But his friend didn’t arrive as usual that night.

In fact, Zower didn’t return the next day.

Or the day after.

That second night, Birrant was beyond convinced that something terrible had happened to his friend. So, the next morning, before the first sun’s light, he packed up his satchel with water, food, herbs, and a small blade his father gave him and set out for the edge of the woods.

Yes, there was the challenge of finding his friend since he didn’t know where Zower lived. All he knew was that his friend lived in the woods beyond the edge of town. It was dangerous, but he knew he had to take a chance after everything Zower had done for him.

They were friends after all.

The fair-haired teen set out down the road of the town, spotting the few shops and carts laying out their wares for the day, until he reached the boarder. He vaulted over the four-board fence separating the town from the fields and darted across the field to the tree line.

He scanned the dense forest around him. It wasn’t the first time Birrant had been in the woods. He and Zower had been many times hunting for different herbs and roots that grew nestled in the roots of the mossy shade of the towering trees.

Birrant remembered Zower mentioning making a home by the stream and decided to follow that trail first. Knowing his friend, he most likely made his home upstream. It was as good of a place as any to begin.

He set out, stepping over the first few roots reaching out from the ground to snare unsuspecting travelers.

The forest was a dangerous place if someone didn’t know what to look out for. The roots twisted and turned in loops and knots. The trees

There were mushroom shelves the size of an arm that would release spores that would disorient the inhaler when disturbed. The list of natural dangers went on and on, and that wasn’t even including the creatures that lurked and played in the shadows.

Thankfully, this was part of the trail that the teen was familiar with. The route he took wasn’t too different than the one he took to hunt for Peekem root with Zower, and he knew that one very well.

He ducked under the shelves of mushrooms, carefully traversed over the roots like he was balancing on the edge of the fence post and used some of the vines to swing over the murky, stagnant water. All the while, he couldn’t help but think about his friend. What was going on with him? Was he extremely sick? Perhaps he should have consulted with the Curer of the town.

Nearly two hours of traversing the terrain and worrying passed when familiar sound broke through the natural creaks and snaps of the forest.

The sound of trickling water was near. The brook was close. He grabbed the next vine and leapt across the last gulley, feet perching on the next set of tree roots and balancing precariously on the edge as he stared at the fresh creek water below.

Small stones smoothed by the water flow lined each side of the creek. Birrant scanned the edges of the bank but saw no footprints. He raised his hands to his mouth and shouted as loud as he could, “Zower! Zower? Can you hear me? It’s Birrant! Zower!”

When he received no response, he nodded slowly, sighed, and continued with his plan to follow the stream up until he reached the main body of water, hoping and praying to the Souls that his friend was by this body of water. He followed along the banks, picking up rocks and roots as he went. The second sun would be rising in the sky soon. It would be too warm in a few hours to travel, even in the refreshing shadows of the tree canopy above him.

Birrant needed to find his friend soon, but he would be useless if he didn’t look after himself first. Deciding to save his canteen of water, he knelt by the stream and took some of the water in his hands. It was cool and refreshing, but he noticed something else that he wouldn’t have seen before.

The stream looked like it was pulsing, as if something were causing a disruption of the water further upstream like making waves in a pool.

Was something keeping the water from flowing? And why in a rhythmic pattern?

Birrant cautiously sipped the water but could taste nothing out of the ordinary. Curiosity got the better of him, and he continued to cautiously follow the running water upstream. He followed the twists and turns of the stream until he could see the tree obscured scene of a clean lake.

It looked like it hooked around into a much larger fresh spring lake, and the ripples were now the size of small lapping waves which could cover his feet easily.

He stepped up to the edge, instantly spotting the ripples in the water, and began to follow the rippling lines with his eyes when his blood chilled as though a winter gust knocked the wind out from his lungs.

The ripples that he thought might have been created by a herd of wisent drinking in the cool, clean water of the water was actually being – a giant. The way it was crouched, its head could easily brush against the canopy the trees offered as protection. Dark hair and long, menacing digits made this the most terrifying thing Birrant could possibly face.

Instantly shaking in his boots, he tried willing his body to move, but he couldn’t. He could only stand there absolutely stock still and hope the Mendo didn’t notice.

Sadly, this was short lived.

Birrant thought he might be in the clear when the immense being dipped its hands into the water and splashed its face with water. He started to back away and that subtle movement was just enough for the Mendo’s eyes to catch sight of him. Every nerve in his body shrieked and leapt into action, running back into the cover of the woods.

He didn’t want to see this thing again. He didn’t need to see it. Perhaps it would wander off if it couldn’t find him. The sound of heavy crashing and the splash of water behind him only sped up his movement.

Perhaps he could get away. Maybe if he lost the giant’s line of sight it would lose interest. His hands shook as he fumbled his way up a slight embankment and pried one of the vines off of the nearby trees. Trees snapped and cracked under the weight of this thing.

No time to waist.

He leapt and swung down the gulley, feet skimming the top of the water, before he leapt down and ran back along the most clear path he could see.

“Where’d you go?” mumbled the giant. Birrant gulped back a scream and, instead, tried his best to fill his lungs with air. He was used to running away from his enemies, but this was literally a run for his life.

What was a giant even doing around these parts anyway? They usually stayed away from the mountains and the forests, didn’t they?

Birrant’s racing heart was having a hard time keeping up, skipping every few beats as he leapt from root wad to root wad.

There!

Up ahead, Birrant saw a hole in the roots. It was going to be a tight fit, but what other choice did he have? He dove headfirst into the dirt filled hole, skidding to a halt as he scraped against the roots and wiggled his way into a partial protective barrier.

*THUD*

He could have reached out to touch the barefooted giant in that instant.

“Quit running,” muttered the giant, obviously annoyed. The voice somehow sounded familiar. It also wasn’t as loud as Birrant thought a giant’s voice should sound. The crashing started to subside and Birrant breathed a partial sigh of relief when a thought occurred to him.

What if Zower came across this thing? What if that thing was why he wasn’t back? Maybe he was holding up by the water’s edge waiting for someone to notice and come to rescue him? What if that thing… no��� he wasn’t… he couldn’t be…

Birrant had to know.

He carefully shimmied out of his hiding spot, elbows burning from the scrapes he received from raking himself against the gnarled roots of the trees, and started making his way back to the stream when he heard a bone chilling sound behind him.

“Gotcha.”

Birrant whipped around only to be entirely encased in the hand of the giant being. Only his feet were free while everything else was pinned and confined in between the giant’s fingers and palm. He tried screaming and thrashing, but to no avail. He was hoisted into the air, making his insides flip and drop, when he felt a pressure under his feet.

Souls no…

What were his feet touching? Was this the end?

“Hold still. I don’t want to drop you,” said the giant, voice unnervingly calm and even. Birrant felt himself drop and, instantly, he looked down to see he was placed in the giant’s palm. This only gave him a partial sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t the giant’s mouth.

The hand that had him pinned opened slowly, leaving only a small hole at the top for Birrant to look up and see his assailant. His entire body was shaking and if he had taken a drink from his canteen or eaten any of his rations earlier, it would have made a reappearance. All he could see was a single dark eye looking down at him.

“Please don’t be scared of me. I’m not dangerous, I’m just big,” said the giant softly. “Now, I’m going to open my hand. Don’t do anything crazy like try to jump. Okay?”

Just as the giant said, his fingers uncurled and retracted, exposing Birrant completely in the giant’s hand. Weak in the knees, Birrant let himself collapse as he attempted to breathe in quick, short bursts. Shock kept him from sobbing, a single saving grace, and it kept him from babbling pleas of mercy.

“There we go. Isn’t that better?” asked the giant, who Birrant could now see was crouched by the roots of the tree. “Look, I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. You’re the first person I’ve ever seen come out this far and kind of… panicked… oh my… Birrant?”

Birrant stared into the giant’s features curiously, wondering how he knew his name until it struck him like a bolt of lightning. How did he not recognize the features sooner? The tone of voice?

“Zower? You’re… a…” stammered Birrant, now feeling a mixture of nauseous and curiosity. Lightheaded, he shook his head and looked again.

“A Mendo – a giant. Yeah, I know,” replied Zower, awkwardly reaching up and scratching the back of his neck and looking away from his friend.

Sure enough, the giant was his friend.

“But… how?” asked Birrant. “I… don’t understand.”

“I…” Zower, knowing he was found out, nodded his head slowly and carefully maneuvered himself to sit down while holding his friend safely aloft. “Long story short, I left my herd. I don’t have arcane abilities, but I know herbs, roots, and spices which can be brewed into potions. I created a formula, admittedly through trial and error, to make myself small like all of you using herbs and plants like Peeken root. It was meant only for emergencies, but something about your town felt like the right fit. The ingredients can be difficult to find depending on the season, and it takes a while to brew. That’s why I wanted to go to The Lyceum – to find alternatives to the herbs I’m using. I… didn’t realize I was out, which is why I haven’t been back. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my lies, and it’s not like it matters now anyway. You’ll go back and tell everyone, so I’ll need to move again.”

Birrant watched his friend’s face shift to a neutral distraught, seemingly disappointed in himself and hurt that it was a friend who discovered him. He looked reluctant to leave, and if Birrant were being honest, he didn’t want his friend to leave.

“Zower I… I won’t tell anyone,” said Birrant, suddenly piecing everything together quickly. Zower had lost everything because he left his herd, friends and family alike, which technically wasn’t a lie. His world travels suddenly made more sense. Roaming herds could surpass any horse bound travel by nearly three times over.

“I’m not threatening you, Birrant,” sighed Zower, looking dejected and disheartened. “You don’t have to worry about keeping any promises or anything. I won’t hold it against you.”

“I’m… no… I wouldn’t tell anyone,” Birrant insisted. Zower gave him an unsure glance. “You’re my friend. You fought with me and have been protecting me. It’s about time I had a chance to protect you. Granted, not in the exact same way, but you get the point.”

Zower chuckled, making his hand tremble and bounce his handheld companion.  

“Not the response I was expecting,” chuckled Zower. Birrant chuckled with him.

“You’ve got that right,” said Birrant, now finding himself slightly curious. “Zower, you said you left your herd. Why?” Zower’s eyes flashed with a hundred memories in a moment, ending with him giving a sigh and a sincere but somber look to his friend.

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who was the smallest in town,” said Zower. “Probably one of the reasons why we became friends so quickly. We understand what it’s like….”

“You mean you… the others picked on you?” asked Birrant. Zower looked away bashfully from his friend again but nodded.

“I was hoping to find easier ways to brew the potion that helps my resizing and a way to give it to them so they stop hurting others, like a punishment or negative reinforcer or something, but I’m, as some might say, literature challenged,” mumbled Zower.

Birrant looked up into his friend’s face, hating how much pain he saw, when his long, untouched idea resurfaced.

“Zower, what if… we go together? To The Lyceum I mean,” suggested Birrant. “I was serious about going, and it sounds like you are too. If you were worried about your… um… size… or reading skills, then I can help you. What do you think?”

The giant gazed into his friend’s eyes for several agonizingly long seconds before a smile curled onto lips.

“I think… you and I have some places to see.”

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Cheers and, as always, stay awesome! ~Narrans

Olly, Olly, Oxen Free {Hotch x daughter!reader}

Warnings: PLEASE, be advised of the SEVERE mentions of gun violence, murder, death, etc. This is a heavy piece, so please, please, please, do not put yourself at risk to read this, if you would like to know the plot without reading let me know and I will accommodate as best as I can!

This is set in “100″, so, daughter!reader is currently trapped with foyet in her childhood home. Alright, enjoy. 

"Y/N."

You sprung from your place on the floor, watching your brother retreat past the living room, his feet happily climbing the old route he used to take in the childhood home he was raised in. You  doubted he forgot it so soon, even with his young age. This was the house they had made home. Over the last year, you would've done anything to be back in this house, surrounded by the memories of your past life. The life in which you weren't forced into the witness protection program, abandoning all of your friends due to a serial killer hellbent on destroying your father's life.

Your hand reached out, gently grabbing the cellphone extending from the hands of your mother's.

"Dad."

You forced herself to sound calm, composed. Sitting only ten feet from you was a man who had previously shoved a blade into your father's abdomen just to prove a point. You figured seeming weak wasn't particularly a good idea.

There was the hum of an engine, one that you knew well. When you was younger- much younger- you used to wait up for you father to come home from cases. Most nights you fell asleep before he came back, but on the rare occasion you actually made it past midnight, you could hear that very same hum of his government issued SUV pulling into the driveway, subsequently causing you to dart out of  bed to jump into his waiting arms. It never mattered to you that you would receive a scolding from your mother for not going to bed at a proper time, not when you would see the smile that grew on her father's face when you accomplished your goal.

That smile, so rare and so blinding, hardly even captured in pictures. Your father was a tired man, a hardworking man, a dedicated father, but all of his good qualities had hardened into stone from the heat of his job and sometimes you feared that eventually, even you might not be able to crack that tough exterior. It seemed silly, sure, but your mother used to be able to find the chinks in his armor, used to make him laugh and smile and love and then one day she couldn't and who was to say that it wouldn't happen to you too?

"Y/N/N, I love you, you know that?" He used the nickname Jack had accidentally given you. When he was just learning to talk, the boy was unable to fully pronounce your name and you had been stuck with it ever since. You used to hate it- or, at least pretend to, but you could never yell at Jack. The boy was too good at absolutely melting you.

Your father's voice, which was typically strong and gruff, came out a bit cracked. It filled you with a sinking feeling. If your father wasn't composed then how the hell were you supposed to be?

The man who hoisted you on his shoulders every Fourth of July to see the fireworks better, or grabbed every spider that made you scream for your life. The man who taught you how to swing a baseball bat and then immediately yelled because you whacked him right in the knee. A fearless, strong, admittedly taciturn man that was making abundantly clear the ambiguity of your future.

You swallowed down that fear, you couldn't afford to be afraid right now. Y/E/C  eyes looked up to your mother. She was still beside you, looking at her daughter as if trying to engrain every single facet of your face in her mind, burning the image of her daughter into her memory.

"I know, I love you too." You didn't know how you managed to keep your voice so even but to anyone listening it sounded like a normal conversation. She could almost imagine they were sitting at a dinner table (something they hadn't done in a year because of the Witness Protection Program).

Pass the salt. She would've said.

"I need you to listen to me carefully, Bug." If you hadn't been so worried that you might die soon you might've found yourself scolding the man not to use that nickname anymore. After your friends had slept over in seventh grade and heard your father use it you were teased relentlessly, but now you didn't mind it. You didn't mind your father using a nickname you hated. You didn't mind a lot of things now that you were facing death, serial killer breathing the same air as you and your mother, standing in your living room, staring at you with cold, calculating eyes.  

It's funny how little things matter when death enters the picture.

"Remember when I taught you to drive?"

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you glanced to your mother, trying to keep your face void of emotion.

You hadn't learned to drive. You had begged your father, of course, but he had said no. You remembered the fight that had ensued, his words loud just to overpower your teenaged protests. "There's no use learning to drive when your mother's here, sometimes me, and the metro, it's useless. It would do you better to learn something more useful, like shooting a gun."

Oh.

The sinking feeling returned in the pit of your stomach. Or maybe it just never left. Your eyes hardened with resolve over what you knew her father was asking you to do, and you nodded.

"Yeah."

A tiny breath of air left your parted lips, and even with the confusion laced on her mother's features and the amusement playing on Foyet's, your mind cleared a bit.

Frontside. Trigger press. Follow through.

"I'm a terrible driver." You murmured to her father. Your hand began to sweat at what he was asking of you. You recalled the shooting lessons. It had been a year or so ago, the man wanting you to be prepared for anything and then he had been shot and you hadn't seen him since. Even with the little practice, you hadn't been too bad, but this was nothing like the shooting range. This was pointing a gun at a killer and hoping to anything that was good and holy that you didn't miss. Even so, who said you could get to the gun before Foyet got to you?

"You're good enough."

Good enough. You wanted to scream.

Foyet rose from his spot on the floor, and Haley stiffened in her place.

"I think that's good enough, right, Y/N?" The way he moved, eyes trained onto you, alight with a kind of...mischief? Yes, mischief. Like an adolescent boy who just found his father's stash of fireworks. His body moved like a predator. Refined, sophisticated, and calculated.

And, as he moved closer, you could smell him. He didn't smell like you thought a killer would smell. Though, to be fair, you hadn't ever given much thought to the scent of a killer. Maybe you thought that someone capable of such dirty, heinous crimes would smell as such. Like the rotten core would seep through their pores and become a putrid scent recognizable to those surrounding him. Instead, he smelt clean. Like laundry detergent and freshly washed hair. The hand that didn't hold the gun reached up, taking a strand of your hair into his fingers and running it through them deftly.

"Don't touch me." You pushed him back on instinct and, not seeming to expect such force, the man was shoved back two steps. Rather than cocking the gun right then and there, Foyet looked at you with interest and then, he did something you didn't expect. He smiled.

A laugh fell through his lips. It bubbled and boiled and hit your ears like nails on a chalkboard.

"Wow, you've got a feisty one, Aaron. I think she gets that from you, the old ball and chain over here is a bit of a whiner." He chuckled to himself like he said the world's funniest joke, and you glared.

"Leave them alone." Your father may as well have been on mute because the killer paid no mind to his orders.

He breathed in a deep sigh, looking at you with those same bright, calculated eyes. Then, as if coming to a consensus, tilted his head. "How about this, how about you go hide, I'll give you a head start, and then I'll come find you."

You could feel her mother bristle from beside you, quiet whimpers coming from her mouth. The hum of the engine played in the background, and the wind chimes on the front porch sang a tune with the breeze. "No." You said firmly.

Foyet pouted, going to stand closer to the two. With each step he took closer to the two of you, it felt like a nail going into her coffin. You could see the twitch in his hands, as if itching to plunge a blade into your mother's flesh, yet, you couldn't just leave your mother. You couldn't leave her to die.

"Ah, come on. You're a teenager- a teenage girl, no less, aren't you guys supposed to be fun?" His tone was teasing and coupled with his non-imposing figure, he shouldn't have been able to chill you with his words but the way his eyes bored into yours they did.

You felt a hand on your elbow, a nudge and you glanced back to your mother. Haley was smaller than you, it had been that way for about a year or so now. You had hit a growth spurt once you entered high school, inheriting your father's height, and it caused you to be a couple inches taller than your mother. Her eyes were filled with tears that were streaming down her face without care. You had seen her mother cry more than most daughters should.

Haley liked to cry at night, after putting her children to bed. She didn't think about how often you stayed up, listening to the sobbing on the other side of the wall.

A hand cupped your face, and you leaned into the warmth. How many fights had you two gotten in over the past year? You had always been a daddy's girl. He was never home, and it left your mother to be the 'bad guy' in most situations. And then, you all had been forced to pack up your lives and vanish. That year had been filled with nights of yelling at each other. Fights about small things. Like, your music playing too loud, or drinking too much coffee. And big stuff too. Like, you confronting your mother about having an affair.

Your relationship had been rocky. But, she was still your mother. She still reminded you to wear a coat when it was cold out, or washed your sheets when you felt sick. She made your favorite meals when you were sad, and bought  nail polish that she thought you would like. She was your mother, and you didn't think you would ever be able to ignore that.

"Y/N, go." Her words were stern, and it reminded you of a scolding. But your mother's lips were tugging at the corners, and she was caressing your cheek so softly that you thought you would collapse right there. Your heart clenched at the sight of your mother.

Would this be the last time you saw her? The thought made you want to scream, cry, and punch something all at once.

For the first time that afternoon, you let your mask slip. Your eyes welled with tears, lip trembling. "Mom, no." it came out shaky, and you didn't have to turn around to see Foyet smiling at the way he could make an entire family fear for their lives in a mere couple of minutes. You could simply feel it.

Haley nodded, both her hands cupping your face now, scanning it over and over again. Your eyes, a fierceness to them that mimicked her own. A button nose that sat above rosy pink lips. On your chin, a small scar. You were an adventurous child. You hadn't been afraid to climb the monkey bars despite being far too small for them and when you had fallen off, you had busted the skin open. Haley remembered being panicked, seeing you covered in blood, rushing you to the hospital, to find that you were calmer than she was. That's how you always were. You were never scared. You were brave and fearless and kind and even if you played awful, punk alternative music that made Haley's ears want to bleed, you were such a sweet girl with a big heart. The mother stood on her tiptoes, kissing your forehead.

You let your eyes flutter shut for a moment, trying to burn the memory of her mother's lips on your forehead in your mind. And when you opened them again, you tried to burn the image of your mother as well. Even now, red eyed and sniffling, your mother was beautiful. Everyone always told you, you looked just like your mother. Haley used to have blonde hair. It had passed her shoulders and you used to beg her to play hair salon because of it. She had cut it after the divorce and you had a suspicion that it was because she craved change. Her cheekbones were high and sharp, just like yours. It made her skin pull taut when she smiled. Her nose was soft and dainty- something you had always been jealous of.

What if you never saw your mother smile again?

Haley was nodding, nodding and patting the girl's cheek and it took you a moment to realize she was speaking once more. "Go, baby. I'll be okay."

No, you won't. You wanted to say. You wanted to let your body fall into your mother's arms and have the woman hold you like she did when you were a child. You wanted to feel your mother's hands run through your hair and hear the woman sing you to sleep. You didn't care how childish it seemed, you just wanted your mother.

Your shoulders shook and you fought to keep your emotions from consuming you.

"I- I love you." It was a desperate attempt at closure but it did nothing to make you feel better. It only made your mother smile.

"I love you too." Haley gave one final pat before a light shove and you felt numb. You couldn't feel yourself hand the phone to your mother, nor could you feel your feet move in the desired direction. Everything in you felt like it was simultaneously being doused in cold water and burned in hot flames. Your mind kept screaming at you to go back. Turn around, grab your mother and hope for the best but you could hear Foyet talking with your mother now and she knew that your father had told you what to do next.

It was weird.

All the nights you had spent in that stupid witness protection program, closing your eyes imagining you were back in your childhood home. You would pretend you were back in your room, waiting for your father to come home. You would pretend your mother was putting Jack to sleep and you would pretend that everything was normal. Now you were back and everything was wrong.

Focus.

After teaching you how to properly use a gun, Aaron had told you where one could be found in cases of dire emergencies. Your feet stepped lightly, moving as swiftly as you could. The laces on your converse slapped against the sides of the shoes and you silently pulled open your father's nightstand. It hadn't been touched since you all had moved out.  It was normal upon first glance. A couple of papers, reading glasses, sleeping pills. You knew better.

You pulled at the string on the bottom, the false top giving in immediately and revealing the silver .38. You grabbed for it, cocking it as quietly as you could. The weapon was heavy, yet, familiar in your hand. You thought that in a time like this you would be more shaky, but all you could focus on was your mother's quiet sobs from the living room a whole story down.

The sound gave you hope. If she could cry, then she was alive. You pushed on with that thought in mind, rounding the corner. Just before you could head back downstairs and possibly take down Foyet, you heard it.

Gunshots.

Your mother cried out the first time, but it was completely silent after the second two. Just the light thud of a body hitting the floor.

You bit down on your cheek to keep herself from screaming. The taste of blood followed soon after. Your hand rose to your mouth, attempting to muffle the cries that attempted to escape.

"Y/N!" A sing song-y voice called out. There was a thumping sound on the stairs and after a sickening moment, you realized it was the sound of your mother's body hitting the wood. He was dragging her up the stairs, wanting to display her just how he liked. Your eyes burned and you let the tears fall down your cheeks without care. They dripped off your chin, falling onto your shirt. It was a band t-shirt. Your mother hated it, said that the swords were too violent, but she allowed you to wear it anyways.

You darted into the closest door- Jack's old room- eye's scanning your surroundings for a plan. Whatever Foyet was doing, you knew you didn't have much time until he was coming after you.

"I just wanna play, Y/N. Come out, come out wherever you are." He sang out. He must've taken your mother- your mother's body, you corrected yourself bitterly- to your parents bedroom. With a chilling realization, you remembered you had been there only moments before. He was close to you.

Your eyes landed on the closet, overflowing with toys, even months after not being in use. Jack tended to get whatever he asked for- not that he was spoiled, he was just hard to say no to. It wasn't difficult to squeeze into it, leaving the door open a crack. The gun sat in your hands ready and waiting.

You steadied the sound of your breathing.

How was you going to tell Jack about mom? Well that was a bit optimistic, now, wasn't it? Presumptuous of you to think you would live through the next five minutes to be able to tell your little brother that our mother was dead, You thought bitterly.

"I think I'll lay your body right next to your Mom. You'd like that, wouldn't you? So you can be together?" He was in the hallway, and even with the barrier of Jack's door and the closet door, the sound of his voice made you shiver. It was smooth, charming, even. If you hadn't known he was a complete psychopath you wouldn't have given the man much thought. You wouldn't have thought him capable of doing the heinous acts he had done.

There was a creak, the door opening to the room and your arms rose slightly. Your eyes were peaking through the crack, your heart racing. You could see the man moving into the room, searching for his next prey- and that's what he thought you were. Prey. He thought you were an easy target. Everyone did.

Everyone thought you were just some stupid kid. Some people said it outright and others just assumed. You could tell when you first met your father's team, some of them had stereotyped you as well. They had asked her about school and about boys and gossip, because they assumed that was all you were capable of speaking about and then you had surprised them by mentioning books and Neo-noir films. You were accustomed to being underestimated. And you were betting your life that George Foyet was doing the same.

As soon as you saw the man move into the middle of the room, you sprung. The door flew open and before you could hesitate, you pulled the trigger. Pure shock could've been the reason, you were able to get out of the room. Or perhaps you had managed to shoot him in the head and end your family's suffering once and for all. You weren't sure because you were moving purely on instinct. Your feet carried you through the house, jumping over toys and broken chairs and bloodstains that weren't there before.

"You bitch!"

Okay, so he was alive. He was chasing after you but you didn't look back. You jumped into the linen closet, out of breath but not allowing yourself to pant as you wanted to. You could hear the slight groans of the man as he made his way through the house, though it was farther, as if he was walking in the wrong direction. You had slowed him down, that's for sure. The gun in your hand felt warm, like a pat on the back, but the thought of your mother's dead body lying somewhere in the house sat in the back of your mind.

Where was Jack? You thought briefly. You had to trust that he was safe. Trust and pray that whatever their dad had said to him had made sense. You hoped he couldn't hear anything that was going on. That he didn't hear the sound of your mother being murdered and you shooting the killer.

You  felt the towel shelf press into your back, but you didn't dare move anymore. You were sure Foyet hadn't died now. If anything, you might've made him more angry.

It smelled like fresh laundry in the small space and it reminded you of Sunday nights. Your father was usually home, cases typically being taken during the week and coming home Saturday nights. That's why you liked Sundays so much. You liked waking up to the smell of pancakes while your father played a Beatles album. He would sing into a spatula and twirl your mother around the kitchen. And Haley would laugh and tell him to stop, but she never actually meant it. And, when he noticed you coming down the stairs, he would take you in his arms- no matter how big and tall you had gotten, he never stopped doing it. He would spin you around as well and when you was little you would dance on his feet, but when you were older, your bare feet would touch the cold hardwood floor.

Your mother would do crossword and pretend not to notice that your father was giving not-so-subtle hints every so often. Your father would have you catch him up on what you had been up to that week, and you would have to help Jack read through the comics because he didn't really understand the jokes. Sundays were your favorite days because instead of being a separate family like they were every other day, they were all together and it felt normal.

You closed her eyes, trying to imagine it was Sunday.

A large clatter rang out, effectively snapping you from your thoughts. You could hear footsteps, fighting, yelling. It was hard to tell how long you waited in the closet, gun pressed to your chest. You could hear someone outside the door, light footsteps against hardwood.

The light on the bottom was obscured from a large shadow and you tried to prepare yourself. What would death feel like? Maybe you was selfish, or maybe you were a coward, but you didn't want to know. You wanted to stomp your foot and say that it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that your mother was dead. It wasn't fair that you were about to die. The door was ripped open and you extended your arms, about to shoot blindly, when you saw who was before you.

"Woah, hey, Y/N. Y/N, look at me."

You had stopped crying long ago, but your entire body was shaking. There was so much tension in your shoulders, it felt like somebody had tied you up entirely, slowly but surely squeezing the life out of you. You hadn't realized it before, much too focused in getting as far away from the serial killer in your house as possible, but when you had shot Foyet, some of his blood had splattered onto you. You could see it now that the light was on it. It sat on your hands, partially dried and partially wet. And you could feel some of it on your cheeks.

You wondered what you looked like.

Derek stared at you. Your eyes were wild, darting between the gun in your hands and the gun in Derek's. Your cheeks, flushed as they were, were painted lightly with splattered blood. The only evidence of previous tears were puffy eyes, but you hardly seemed weak right now. You seemed...feral.

"Y'N, it's me. You're safe. it's me, it's Derek. Put that gun down." It was strange. It was like you could see his lips moving, you could see that he was speaking but you couldn't hear the words. All you could hear was the sound of your mother's body hitting the stairs one at a time.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

"He's dead. Y/N, he's dead." The sound came back all at once. Everything came back all at once.

You could see people behind Derek. There were cops and medical examiners, flooding in and out of your childhood home. They all seemed to be moving toward the same place, all in the direction where you had fled. They were heading toward the body, you realized. The body of your dead mother. There was the faint sound of sirens, and there was chatter. You wanted to yell at them, scream for them to be quiet. And then you saw someone else.

Your father was coming toward you. He was covered in blood. Who's blood was that? Was that your mother's? Was that Foyet's? Movement caught your eye.

JJ was holding someone in her arms, he looked confused, pointing at his sister, eyes alarmed at the weapon in her hands and the Jaraeu woman seemed to be trying to turn him away. He was asking for you.

'Y/N/N?' He said.

Your shoulders dropped, the weapon falling into the Morgan man's waiting hands. You stepped forward. Despite your sudden awareness, everything felt like it was in slow motion. The world was moving with resistance, and you opened her arms, almost crumpling in relief when Jack squirmed away from the blonde agent and ran into your waiting arms. You scooped him into your arms, sitting him on your hip.

"Y/N!" Despite all the chaos around you two, you let yourself focus on your brother. He seemed fine. Confused, surely. He had looped his arms around your neck but his eyes squinted at the blood on your cheeks that hadn't been there before. His little eyebrows furrowed, and he reached one hand to poke your cheek. "Are you okay, Y/N?"

Jack loved you. Before you two were put into witness protection program, he didn't see you all too much. You were so busy with school and hanging out with your friends, that you hadn't even been home very often. Then, you didn't have much of a choice.

You  liked showing Jack your music- the clean versions, of course. He would scrunch his nose at certain metal heavy bands, but you assumed he liked most of them just because you did. He liked to play cards with you, and have your draw him funny sketches. And when he would have bad dreams, you never hesitated to let him sleep with you.

You felt multiple sets of eyes on you, your father pulling you into a hug. They all pretended not to notice you flinch. You kept your eyes on Jack.

"I'm fine." You took a hand, running it through the boy's ruffled hair from hiding god knows where. He giggled at the action, and you let your hand rest on his cheek for a moment. Your mother was dead somewhere in this house, her body laid across the floor, slaughtered. You swallowed down the rising bile in your throat.

"Let's get you checked out, yeah?"

[1/3]Bombshell Dupain-Cheng: YSSMIAC

Masterlist  Maribat by @ozmav​

Bombshell: The AU // 0, 1, 2, 3

Ships: Lukadaminette, Jondrien, Chlolix, Feligami, Kimax

Warnings: Language

2.6K

Chapter title: you should see me in a crown

You should see me in a crown Your silence is my favorite sound Watch me make 'em bow One by, one by one 

Here's: Marinette and Kagami didn't expect the transformation to be so outrageously obvious.

Of course, Diana had warned the teenagers that it could happen, but- again, they didn't think it would be so drastic. The growing pains had been, well, a pain. A brutal one.

If Marinette was being bitter, she would blame Tikki for this happening to her and her miraculous partners, but she knew for a fact that it was not the fault of the kwamis for this lack of information.

It was the first time since the world was created, that the miraculous were given to literal children. So, for that reason the side effects were something unknown. But they believed that they had already discovered all the effects after five years wielding the jewelry.

Diana was able to destroy any idea they had about it, since none of them noticed the biggest and most obvious side effect of the miraculous:

They were trapped in underdeveloped bodies for seventeen/eighteen-year-olds teenagers. And that wasn't just because their genetics made them look more youthful, no. The active use of Ladybug’s cure was slowing the aging journey of the other heroes, as they were the hardest hit by healing magic.

So, when Diana - Wonder Woman - invited the miraculous female team to Themyscira to correct this problem with the Amazons, Marinette, Kagami, Chloe and Alix did not hesitate to accept.

The men's team had already been invited by Arthur Curry - Aquaman - because men were not allowed on Themyscira, but also because training with Arthur would be more ideal for them than that of the Amazons.

Zatanna encouraging and assuring the heroes that she would maintain a blocking spell throughout Paris to prevent Hawkmoth from acting.

They left their homes with an excuse to travel the world. Adrien was a little more difficult to get out of Gabriel's claws, but in the end, with Bruce Wayne's call, Adrien was able to leave Paris alone with friends. They were ready.

That's when Marinette suffered.

Starting with all the miraculous having to be resigned in order for the effect of magic to expunge faster, the box being kept safe in Themyscira. And then with the infernal training that the Amazons put them through.

Before, Marinette and Kagami prided themselves on being the most agile and sharp in the fights against akumas, but being in Themyscira showed that they did not even reach the feet of the youngest warriors in the island.

So, it was already clear that if Kagami and Marinette were having problems, Chloe and Alix felt death touching their souls with affection.

(The boys also suffered in those months in Atlantis. Arthur was not at all merciful in teaching them.)

Anyway, when the two and a half month mark reached, the physical changes were simply too glaring to go through a simple growth spurt.

Marinette never envied Chloe and Alix so much for not being predisposed to be tall naturally.

Of all four, Marinette grew the most in height without the influence of the miraculous. She may or may not have cried when she reached 5'11” with Kagami and Hippolyta said she would still grow a few inches.

She didn't care much for stretch marks on her joints, but she complained about the growing pains. Kagami was not very vocal, but the grimaces of pain she let out did not let anyone be fooled.

But even with the pain, the teachings and the struggles, Marinette was happy that they were finally having the right mentoring to guide them. Fu had left very early, much of his knowledge was not passed on.

○○○

After almost struggling to free Marinette from Chloe, they left the blonde sleeping on the brunette's bed while she showered.

Alix ate a croissant, Damian and Luka talked about strategies against Hawkmoth and Plume.

"I already talked to Zatanna and she will release the blocking barrier in three days, just so Hawkmoth doesn't suspect anything." Damian looked at Alix, attracting the young woman's attention. "It would be very suspicious if the barrier was broken just on the same day that Dupont's classes returned."

Alix nodded in agreement. "Did she say anything about tracking the miraculous?"

Luka sighed despondently. "No. She will probably only make it when they are active, meaning- “

"We will have to wait for Plume and Hawkmoth to attack again to get any leads."

Marinette came into the room, fully dressed - a black skater dress with the pattern of delicate cherry blossoms, reaching a few inches above the knee, v-neck and short sleeves; white liner socks - and dry hair stuck in a messy bun, leaving the bangs framing the pretty face.

Luka and Damian swallowed at the glorious sight. She managed to be strong and cute at the same time. And it destroyed them so good.

"He should attack as soon as he feels the barrier is gone." Alix replied and it took both of them out of inappropriate thoughts. Marinette's knowing look showed that she knew exactly where the boyfriends' minds ran.

"And that is why we will be making a war council in half an hour." She reached for the pair of white sneakers on the shoe rack and tucked them in her feet, the laces already tied. “Everyone has already been warned. I will be delivering the miraculous and we will make plans on how to take down Hawkmoth for good.”

"... But first we have to wake Chloe." Luka points. "Who's going to be the unlucky one?"

○○○

After managing to wake Chloe without resulting in a murder, they were quick to leave Marinette's home for Fu's massage parlor, the current headquarters of the miraculous team and where Zatanna had lived for three months when they were away.

"We are here, losers!" Alix announced pompously.

Upon arriving, they found Adrien talking to Jon in a corner; Max, Tim and Barbara on the computer browsing documents that appeared to be important; Félix and Kagami sat at the big table - which Adrien insisted on calling the round table and Marinette found it unnecessary - analyzing a detailed hologram of the streets of Paris.

No sign of Kim or Zatanna yet.

The entry of the five drew everyone's attention; Tim and Felix's eyes doubled in size as they focused on Marinette.

"What the hell, Mari?!" Tim choked on his words.

"This is what I call transformation." Barbara commented amusedly.

“Everyone has undergone drastic changes, Drake. I'm sure you didn't react that way when you saw the others.” Marinette replied.

"Of course not! Nobody came here looking like an Amazon.”

Kagami coughed against the fist, eyebrow raised.

"Okay, I take back what I said." Tim raises his hands in surrender. "But you have to agree with me, Marinette is the most surprising change here."

Adrien nodded frantically in agreement. “When you showed up at school earlier, everyone was shocked. I hardly recognized you.”

Max and Felix scoffed. "Yes, we noticed the warm looks you were shooting at Mari." Max pointed out causing Adrien to choke in embarrassment.

“Oh, is that so? Interesting." Damian murmured, a frankly murderous look on his face. He had already taken the seat next to Felix.

"What? No! You got it wrong.” Adrien stammered, his cheeks red.

“Okay, Adrien. I'm not jealous." Luka said. The malicious curve in the corner of his mouth making it clear that the musician was loving seeing the model turn into a hot mess in front of everyone.

"Luka!" Adrien groaned painfully and turned to Jon. “You know it's not true, right? Everyone knows that I only have eyes for you.” He pouted.

The brunette put his arm around the blonde's waist, bringing him a little closer. “Of course, I know dear. I totally trust my charm.” He winked seductively; Adrien's blush only growing in intensity.

The two of them seeming to forget that their friends were there.

"Ugh, nobody deserves to watch these two making out with their eyes." Chloe moaned on the chair, still drowsy and irritated at being woken up.

"Think on the bright side!" Marinette said happily.

"What would it be...?"

"At least this time they are dressed and aware that there are other people in the room." Kim replied upon entering.

"... I think we better split them up before they really forget we're here." Kagami pointed a finger at the two boys who had started a kiss in a way that, in her opinion, should be inappropriate for people under fifty.

"Does anyone have a spray bottle?" Damian asked.

And Marinette stopped to analyze the physical changes in her team.

So, the fact was: yes, Marinette was the person with the greatest physical change among the miraculous group. Because in addition to the height, she got muscles (which she didn't have before). It wasn't something like a body builder would be, but it also made it clear that she had a pretty intense exercise routine.

Kagami had also grown a lot, losing to Mari by just a few inches. Even before wielding the dragon's miraculous, she had already developed some muscle due to the intense fencing routine; so, the only things that had changed was the increase in body mass around the shoulders, biceps and calves.

Alix didn't grow much, just two inches from what she was before, and the muscles in her body hadn't been developed as visibly as the two asian girls. She had a better definition, elasticity and mobility had improved dramatically.

Chloe was the only one of the four parisian heroines who had no visible change. She remained thin and flexible, with no pronounced hard muscles. Diana had said that the blonde's body was the type that hid her power. The deceptive, fragile type, but who was agile and fatal. Which suited Chloe.

Of the boys, the shock had been Damian. Damian, who, like Marinette, was one of the smallest on the team - followed by Alix and Max - reached his desired height of 6’3”; surpassing both Bruce and Jason, the tallest in the Wayne family.

But that didn't surprise Marinette or Tim, since Damian's parents were both quite tall. They hoped that eventually Damian would start to grow like a weed.

Anyway. While Damian did not grow muscle mass like a brick house like Jason, his shoulders grew broad and powerful, biceps pronounced, muscles lean and defined. He achieved a perfect match between raw power and agility.

Luka surprisingly hasn't changed much. He put a few inches more - taller than Marinette by just an inch, but smaller than Damian by four - but his muscles didn't grow. They just became more defined. And Marinette understood that.

Among all of them, Luka, Alix and Max were the ones who least physically attacked akumas; sometimes they even stayed out of the fight, as their powers were only for a very critical situation.

Adrien somehow still had room to grow. You see, it wasn't like he was short before; for a twelve-year-old boy - before wielding the ring - he was already quite tall, so even with the magic interfering, he still had a decent height for a teenager.

Then discover that there was still room for him to reach Damian? That was surprising.

Unlike Luka, Adrien gained muscle mass. The blonde, over the years, showed that there was no mercy when it came to eating. He never refused food, always chewing what he could as if there was no tomorrow, since at home, his diet was strict. But even with that, he never gained weight.

Always the same skinny boy as always. So skinny that Sabine had made it her life's mission to fatten the Agreste boy. (Which did not work, but it did not diminish the determination of the Chinese woman.)

Then, without the interference of magic, Adrien grew up.

The boy who was once skin and bone, now looked like the blonde version with green eyes of Kim. He didn't get uncomfortably muscular, but the muscle tone he got was insane. Even wearing a hoodie that was supposed to be 2x bigger than its ideal size, it was possible to see that some corners of the seams were stretched on the shoulders and chest.

Gabriel probably burst a vein when he saw his son's transformation. The more youthful Adrien looked, the better it was for him to sell the image of "teenage prince".

Kim was the least surprised, as he was already big even for a teenager. In addition to his shoulders - which became broader - he grew a few inches, bumping head-on with Marinette and Luka. The chest remained strong and his body seemed to have no problem staying flexible.

Félix followed the same path as Luka - which Marinette secretly thanked, since finding a bodybuilder Félix would be beyond strange -, remaining tall and elegant. Lean, well-defined muscles. He remembered Chloe's changes. Silent, but fatal.

He was also in the race for whoever got higher with Adrien and Damian.

Max, on the other hand, must not have grown more than five inches. His muscle tone did not grow at an alarming rate either, remaining mostly thin, but looking agile. Like a person who runs five miles every morning without losing his breath or sweating.

Which was good, since Max was never a fitness person and everyone knew it. If he appeared like a damn monster truck out of nowhere - like Marinette, Kagami and Adrien - it would make people ask even more and they didn't want to attract more attention than they were already getting.

All of this, of course, without pointing out the other obvious changes that puberty brought.

The lack of baby fat, sharp jaws, developed curves, deep voices... Marinette managed to get used to her new height, but was not finding peace of mind with the new weight of her chest.

She clapped her hands to get everyone's attention and smiled.

"Let's start?"

And everyone, including the two lovebirds, sat around the table.

They would only leave with a solid plan against Hawkmoth.

BONUS:

"Wow, did you see how some of Ms. Bustier's and Ms. Mendeleiev's students looked different?" Lila heard extra #1 gossip with extra #2.

"I saw it, girl!" Extra #2 responded. "Everyone is saying that they joined a gang."

"Oho, do you believe that?!"

"Well, won't you say that you didn't find Agreste's new appearance strange?"

Lila jumped when she heard the name of one of her enemies. She moved closer to the two girls to hear the conversation better.

It could be something she could use against the ice king.

“Did you see Dupain-Cheng?! That was insane!”

The Italian bristled when she heard Maribrat's name. Still confused about what the two girls were talking about.

She had decided not to go on the first day of school to make a flashy comeback, so what had happened, she didn't know.

"And Adrien?!"

"I know!"

And that was it! Lila needed to know in detail what was going on.

"Excuse me, girls..." She sweetened her voice as much as she could. The two girls looked at her confused. "I wanted to first apologize for listening to your conversation and also to ask what you were talking about..." The ‘poor woman’ expression stuck to her face.

The two girls were even more confused. "Didn't you come yesterday?"

"No. My flight from Achu took longer than expected and I just arrived today.”

"Ah..." Extra #2 waved. “Is that- Ah! In fact, just look back and you will understand!” She said hastily.

Extra #1 looked over Lila's shoulder with a haunted expression. Waving violently.

And when Lila turned... What the fuck was that.

[tag list]

@nightstarblue​ @dreamykitty25​  @phantomroseo3​ @avengerthewarrior​  @guessmyname17​ @luveverything12​ @wannajointhecrabcult​ @chocolate1721​ @polyvirnl​ @enchanted-nerd​ @sandraf0612​ @multi-fandom-freak0221​ @rosalineandrosemary​ @jessigurl-design​ @saays-bitch​ @xxmdsxx​ @nicknnie​ @iamablinkmarvelarmy​ @damianette-is-life​ 

Teenage Dream

Genre: Molasses level fluff and teenage hormones. 

Summary: What if our babies didn't have such traumatic lives and they went to the same high school? Teenage Gang-Tae falls for Mun-Yeong, the moment he sets eyes on her. He just doesn’t notice that she’s not far behind. The misadventures of a boy blindly in love. 

Gang-Tae let his best friend tow him into the their recent hangout spot, Subways, around the corner from their high school. It was always bustling with kids their age after classes were dismissed, most of his classmates came here to relax or the brainiacs would use it as a spot to continue their studying. Gang-Tae alternated between both category depending on the day, he wanted to have a high ranking to impress his mother and older brother, Sang-Tae. But studying all the time was tiring and made him stressed out about all the material he didn't know. He also wanted to impress her. The prettiest girl in their grade and probably all of Korea. Ko Mun-Yeong. He sighed thinking about her, her lustrous chin length hair perfectly curled around her beautiful face, those dark eyes framed by long lashes, her aquiline nose that made her face even more interesting and finally those rosy plush lips. She was the smartest girl in their class, quiet and confident, he read all of her short stories in the school newspaper. His recent favorite was a story she had written about a young boy who learned that bad memories could be helpful for emotional growth. All of your life experiences crafted who you are, if you only remembered the good then you wouldn't have empathy or coping devices when something went askew. She had a unique way of looking at the world and he couldn't stop the crush he had developed on her if he had a choice. She was the whole package,beauty and brains. Unfortunately, this resulted in her immense popularity, which made her unapproachable, there were barely any moments that she was without a crowd of people. Students hanging off her every word, and with the warm timber of her voice he couldn't fault them. Her voice filled all his dreams. Especially the riskier ones. He didn't mean to think of her in such a manner, tried his upmost to respect her, but in the depths of his slumber his imagination created scenarios that made him wake up tangled in moist sheets. Shaking those memories off, he joined the conversation his classmates were having around him, "We need to study for Mr. Kan's science test, if I bring home any more low grades my mom promises she will lock me up in the basement with textbooks." He groaned in agreement, he hadn't done his best on the last exam either and desperately need to do well this time around. They all agreed that this was the best course of action, opening their textbooks to the correct section. The study session went by in a blur, they took a quick break to get sandwiches as brain fuel and then went back to studying. Before, he knew it his head started to feel heavy, he jerked up, taking a big gulp of soda trying to wake himself, it was a short term fix and soon he stopped fighting and laid his head on the table. His classmates voices white noise in the background, he drifted off into a light sleep. Minutes passed by before he was shaken awake by Jae-Su, "Moon Gang-Tae! Are you sleeping? You always slack off when it's time to studying...", he groggily rubbed his sleep laden eyes and then he felt lightning rush through his body. There she was. Alone. Casually sitting, her cute nose in another book, before she checked the time and began to pack up, collecting her trash and without full awareness, he stood with her. "Where are you going? Moon Gang-Tae! We're not done studying!" Jae-Su exasperated voice shouted after him, as he haphazardly snatched all his belongs and raced after her. She hadn't noticed him yet. Peacefully crossing the street, her delicate hands gripping the straps of her book bag, he had ached so many times to offer to carry it for her, to carry her books to class for her and maybe get a smile in appreciation. If there was one thing that made her even prettier, it was her smile. She had the kind of smile that could light up a room. He would do anything if it meant seeing that smile. He stalked closely, it felt invasive following her this way without her consent, the last thing he wanted to do was made her uncomfortable. He raised his fingers through his fringe, hoping his quick nap hadn't completely ruined his hair and with a deep inhalation both for courage and necessity, he called out "Hey....excuse me... um hey." Although he had trailed her for this very purpose he still wasn't mentally prepare to meet her eyes when she turned around. Curiosity and then recognition running through them. A small smile graced her lips as she tilted her head in concession, hands now clasped in the center of her body. Wow. She is even prettier in person, up close. Look at those eyes. They are the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. I could die right now knowing I saw those ey-- "Yes?" Her voice cut through those his traitorous thoughts and he snapped back to reality. She has started to nibble on her lips, question still in her eyes and his mouth felt like a dessert, dry and brittle. He thinks of what he can say that won't scare her away, he doesn't think professing his undying love is right for their first conversation. Maybe their third. Maybe he can ask her what she thought about the school lunch today, what did kids there age even talk about? He feels like an alien in his own body, screaming at himself to say something, anything before she loses her patience and walks away. But all his months of wanting and wishing hadn't prepared him for this moment. In all his dreams, they magically got together and there was none of this overwhelming sea of awkwardness that he was currently drowning in. Say something. Anything!! "I...um I like....you...r um... I like your outfit!" He blurted out, immediately wanting to smack himself in the face, she was wearing the damn school uniform! The same uniform that thousands of other students wore, she was going to think he was a moron and walk away. He had wasted his first impression. Starting to plan his exit, he opened his lips to apologize for wasting her time, he should have just kept watching her from afar, anything was better than this humiliation. But then, she started to giggle, the most melodic soothing giggle, his eyes snapped up from their permanent spot on the ground, to see her covering her mouth with her dainty hands, soft pink nail polish this week. He couldn't believe she wasn't gone. She was here giggling. At something he said. Granted what he said was ridiculously stupid but it didn't matter because she was giggling. He made Ko Mun-Yeong giggle. He wanted to shout it from a rooftop. "Oh this?" She tugged at her uniform collar, "It's one of a kind." With a twinkle in her eye, she knocked him off his metamorphic feet. Laughter burst out from his winded lungs and she laughed with him, shifting comfortably on the heels of her feet. "I know you, I've seen you at school. Moon Gang-Tae? That's your name right?" She knew his name. He tried not to show how much she was knocking his world off balance. He was able to muster up a shaky nod in agreement. "So what did you want to say to me Moon Gang-Tae?" She inquired, checking her watch once again. "I....um....do you have to be somewhere?" He asked in return, hoping he wasn't getting in her way. "My driver, Sang-In was supposed to pick me up but he messaged saying I should just head home on my own." She responded and without a second though his mouth said, "I can walk you. It's dark, I don't ....um what anything to happen to you. I mean if you want me to, I'm using sure you can walk home on your own and..." "Okay." She cut off his rambling, turning to continue her trek as he stood frozen. "Are you coming?" She looked back over her shoulder, and he ran to catch up out of breath and not from his sprint. They walked in silence, his brain racing, disbelief that he was really walking next to her. Maybe he was still asleep in Subways? How could this be reality? He looked over and her, turning his head away when he found her eyes already on his face. Absently, he wondered if he had food on his chin or something, that would be just his luck. Casually, he wiped at his face pretending to have an itch. "Do you always walk girls home? Everyone always says you're so nice but I didn't know to this extent." She teased, making his cheeks redden in shame and pride. He didn't feel very nice right now, he was doing this for his own selfish purposes. After a long pause he broke his silence, "No. This is my first time walking someone home." He answered honestly, knowing that most boys his age had done much more than walk a girl home, but he was as his older brother Sang-Tae described a "hopeless romantic". He knew that other girls at school liked him, or at least found him attractive. He wasn't bad to look at, and he had enjoyed a growth spurt over the summer, making him taller than most boys in his grade and all of the girls. After months of convincing, the basketball coach had convinced him to join their team and that had increased his popularity overnight. But none of those girls were Ko Mun-Yeong. He was polite but never flirty, there was only one girl that had taken a hold of his heart. "Honored to be your first." He blushed at her words, his mind instantly sinking to the gutter. She looked at him as if she knew exactly what he was thinking but thankfully did not comment. Suddenly she stopped, looking up at a high rise building, he quickly realized that they were in the more affluent part of town, with modern buildings and luxury cars. He tried not to be intimidated. He failed, spectacularly. "This is me." She pointed at the sleek building. "Oh. Okay. Get inside safely." He said with a downward shift of his lips, he had hoped that this walk would never end. He hadn't garnered the courage to say anything to her during the rest of the walk. Just quick glances to confirm that she was still there and he hadn't lost his mind. She walked towards large glass doors, before turning back, "Thank you for walking me home, Moon Gang-Tae." She said, beatific smile on her face. He was too stunned to respond and then she was gone. His heart raced as he jogged home, grin on his face, he felt untouchable. Tossing his shoes and book bag at the entrance, he bounded into his house. He heard voices in the kitchen, his mom and Sang-Tae. He rushed to join them for dinner. "What's got you so happy?" His brother instantly questioned him, string bean hanging from his lips. Gang tried to tame his smile, not wanting his too perceptive brother to find out anything. He was always so embarrassing when it came to girls. "Nothing, nothing. I just had a great day." His mom turned around with a smile, "That's great sweetie, how about you go wash up and help your brother set the table?" Knocking Sang-Tae's hand that reached for another string bean. His brother always got hungriest right before they ate dinner. As he washed his hands, with soap and water, his brother swaggered in with a knowing smile on his face. "Okay, who is she?" He dropped the bar of soap at the question, putting all his focus on washing his hands. Giving it his full attention. With a war cry, his brother grabbed him and easily put him in a headlock, he wriggled trying to free himself, splashing water on his brother to counter his attack. "Tell your big brother, there are no secrets in this house!" Sang-Tae shouted ruffling his hair and he groaned at the rough treatment, until his mother's voice called out, "Boys come for dinner, stop playing in the bathroom. You would think I'm raising toddlers..." With one final twist, his brother set him free. "You'll come to me in due time, little brother. " Dinner was delicious as usual, he feigned fatigue to escape early, eager to relive the day. Thoughts of her smile filled his dreams.                     

                       <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Nerves churned in his stomach as he nodded and hmmed to whatever Jae-Su was talking about, he had already berated him for quote, "Abandoning him like a stray animal to fend for himself." And after his fifth apology, he had ultimately tuned him out, he had bigger things to worry about. Like how he was supposed to act now? He didn't know if walking her home had changed anything? Was he allowed to say good morning to her now? Or did she want him to act the same as before, strangers who didn't acknowledge each other. He didn't want to do the wrong thing. And he couldn't ask Jae-Su, who had adamantly declared that they didn't need girls because they led to the decay of friendship. The only person he could think to ask was his brother, but he didn't want to deal with his smug smirk, You'll come to me in due time little brother. There had to be an easy way to know if a girl wanted you to say good morning to her? Maybe he could say good morning to other girls and use their reactions as a gauge for how Mun-Yeong would respond? He was so consumed in his thoughts that he didn't that the object of his thoughts was right in front of him. "Good morning Moon Gang-Tae." Tripping over nothing, he reached out to grab Jae-Su for support. She had said good morning to him. She was standing with her best friend, Seung-Jae, a quirky girl known for her eccentric style, who always had loads of buttons and stickers on her bag. Before, he could locate his tongue and answer she continued cheekily, "Do you like my outfit today too?" She turned around as if on her own personal run way and his cheeks scorched with the embarrassing memory. He groaned placing his head in his hands. Jae-Su and Seung-Jae both looked on in confusion. With a lift of her lip, she clutched her books to her chest, walking off to her class. "What was that about?" Jae-Su chased him down, as he shook his head, too bashful to explain that particular incident. The day dragged, he was itching to see her again. He wondered what she was doing right now? Definitely not thinking about the idiot who had complimented her uniform. He would never live that down. But still he smiled, it was almost as if they had an inside joke. It was safe to say that he didn't learn anything today, all of his brain capacity busy thinking about his next encounter with Mun-Yeong. Jae-Su had left as soon as school ended, leaving him by himself and he stalked the hallways hoping to accidentally run into Mun-Yeong but after the third lap he gave up, sighing in disappointment. Pushing the school doors open, he squinted his eyes as at the influx of bright light. Due to this light he didn't see the figures, a few places ahead of him. He saw her before he heard her. "I don't need you to wait with me. I would prefer to wait alone." Mun-Yeong. And she sounded.....annoyed. He walked closer, instinctively yearning to protect her from whoever was bothering her. A male voice responded, Gang-Tae vaguely recognized it, Daniel Choi, he was one year above them and the school's heart throb. He even had his own fan club, according to the flyers around school they met on Mondays and Fridays. "It's no problem, I could never leave a pretty girl like you alone on the street, who knows what creeps are out there?" He answered, magnanimously, moving further into Mun-Yeong's personal space. Gang-Tae watched her take a step back. The look in her eye reminded him of his neighbor's cat right before he scratched you for daring to pet him. "You mean like creeps who don't take no for an answer and pester girls who aren't interested, creeps like that?" Daniel laughed, humorlessly, reaching out a hand as if to grab her and Gang-Tae moved before he registered the intent, "Don't touch her." "Don't touch me." They uttered at the same time. Her eyes cut to Gang-Tae in surprise and maybe a bit of relief. Daniel yanked his hand out of his grasp, snidely looking at him, "This has nothing to do with you Moon, mind your business." He stood between them, shielding Mun-Yeong's body with his own. "She said she didn't want you to wait with her, how about you respect that and leave her alone?." He didn't know what was coming over him, he had never been in a fight before. Never even argued with anyone, but he knew in this moment he would do anything it took to maintain her safety. Daniel eyed him, annoyance clear on his face, lips snarling before he rolled his eyes and scoffed, "She's not even that hot. Not worth all this trouble." With that dig, he turned away stomping down the sidewalk until they lost sight of him. Gang-Tae took a deep breath to control his anger, before turning back to Mun-Yeong. "Are you okay?" He briefly scanned her body, she looked fine, perfect actually. Finally she spoke, "Yeah I'm fine. He was just very persistent." "I'm sorry." He apologized, wishing he could have been there sooner, whenever she needed him he wanted to be there, it felt natural to protect her almost like his body was made for it.  "Why? You didn't do anything." "I'm still sorry." She laughed breathlessly, "You really are nice, huh? Probably why you're so popular with the girls." He knew she was teasing him now, her nosed crinkled in the cutest way when she did, but he ached to ask her if she was part of that group. He would trade in all those girls for a chance with her. He was too much of a coward though so instead he said, "What are you waiting for?" She jostled her books in her hands, trying to find a comfortable position, "My driver again, he said there was traffic but he would be here soon." Wordlessly, he extended his hands, gesturing at the heavy textbooks in her hand. She looks back with a blank stare and he almost retracted his hands, but then she leaned forward, placing them in his hands. The tips of their fingers brush during the exchange and he wonders how long he could reasonably go without washing his hands. His mother would have his head. Like their walk the other night, they lapse into silence. He clutches her textbooks to his chest as if they were the finest jewels. He can faintly smell her intoxicating scent lingering on them. Then he recalled her newest story in the school paper, "Zombie Kid", he had tried showing it to Jae-Su but he had denounced it once the mother gave the child her limbs, calling it cryptic and weird. Gang-Tae thought it was brilliant, raw and thought-provoking. Like all her short stories, they had a message if you were willing to look past the surface. "I liked your story. Zombie Kid." He forced the words out, desperate not to waste a second opportunity with her. " You did? Did you get the message?" He nodded, meeting her eyes, "Love is truly what everyone wants, not just to sate their base desires." She lit up  at his answer, excitedly replying "Seung-Jae said I should have probably left out the cannibalism but I thought it served its purpose. Fairy tales should help us wake up from our sugar coated dreams and face reality."

He smiled at her, blown away by her mind. He’d never met anyone like her before.  Suddenly, a car pulled up at their feet, tires screeching and a man in a suit jumped out, "My dearest apology, Ms. Ko, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I hope it wasn't too much of a bother." He proceeded to collect her bag, and open the car door. "Oh, but I see a friend waited with you. " He looked expectedly at Gang-Tae with clinical eyes, "This is Moon Gang-Tae. He's the nicest boy in my grade." She answered for him, he coughed choking on his own spit. Was nice a good thing? Did girls like nice boys? "Is that so? Well thank you for waiting with Ms. Ko. Would you like a ride as well?" The man offered but he shook his head in refusal, it was such a small space to occupy with Mun-Yeong, he wasn't quite ready for that. "Okay, well we need to get going. Thank you again." And Gang-Tae turned to return Mun-Yeong's textbooks, gently placing them back in her arms. "Thank you Gang-Tae, I'll see you tomorrow." She beamed up at him, hopping into the car, her uniform skirt bouncing distractedly with the movement and he watched it drive away. He smiled all the way home.                               <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 It was their first game of the new season, coach had been putting them through the ringer, lap after lap, drills until they were sweaty messes on the ground. Gang-Tae wasn't particularly competitive, but he did enjoy the discipline and team building that came with sports. The best team was only as good as their weakest link, coached had drilled that into them, especially the first practices when they were all finding their footing. A fight had broken out because someone had been upset that the ball hadn't been passed to him, claiming that he was the better shooter. Coach Hwai had made them all run 10 extra laps, stating that they suffered as team and won as a team, they would practice until everyone was great shooters. There was literally no "I" in team. They had learned that with sweat and tears. He sat on the bench, stretching, usual nerves in his stomach but also excitement, above all he enjoyed basketball. He searched the stands looking for his brother, he had taken the day off work to watch his first game, his mother hadn't been able to do the same. But she had woken him up with favorite breakfast and a kiss on the cheek for good luck. He spotted Sang-Tae, in the back row, frantically waving at him, proud smile stretched across his face. He hadn't been able to find Mun-Yeong after classes, he had no intention of inviting her to the game, that was too much pressure but he had wanted to let her know that he wouldn't be able to wait with her today. After the first time, it had become a routine, he would wait with her for her driver, Lee Sang-In, and he would happily hold her textbooks. Most times they were silent, sometimes they would talk about their day. He was still extremely shy around her, finding himself tongue twisted at random moments. Still in disbelief that he was allowed to be this close to her. But he loved listening to her, the excitement in her voice infectious when she talked about new ideas for her short stories. How could someone so beautiful also be so smart? It just didn't seem fair. He had given up finally after looking for her for fifteen minutes, coach would have his head if he was late for the game. He sighed, hoping she made it home safely, tensing at the thought of Daniel bothering her again. With a shrill blow of the whistle, the game started with a blur of passes, dribbling and shots. He tried his best to pace himself, taking deep breathes, not wanting to get winded too soon. Suddenly, the ball was in his hands and quickly scanning the court to see if anyone was in a better position than him, seeing that no one was he took the shot. The ball easily slid through the hoop. 2 points. He pumped his fist in the air before turning with exuberant pride, needing to know if his brother saw that and that's when he met the eyes of Mun-Yeong. She was with a group of girls that he had seen at school, but her face was the only one that stood to him. Had she gotten even prettier since yesterday? She cutely waved the pompoms the school provided to everyone in the stands at him, mouthing "Wow." Her lips looked lovely forming around each letter. He didn't feel his team mates pats of congratulations and forgot to look for his brother. It was a struggle after that, he was hyper-aware of her presence and he couldn't focus. He dropped the ball so many times his teammates stopped passing it to him. It was like his first practice, all over again, nerves shooting up and down his skin, his heart beating like a drum, boom, boom, boom.  Half time was a blessing. "Okay team, we're looking good but I need to see more passing. Remember this about teamwork so use each other. But don't be afraid to take shots, you shouldn't be looking for anyone specific, everyone here is capable." He sighed in relief when he wasn't singled out, albeit prematurely, "Moon, I don't know where you are but you need to get your head back in the game. Go for a walk and come back ready." "Yes Coach." His first stop was the bathroom, to splash water on his face. He glared at himself in the mirror, pointing at his reflection, "What are you doing? This is not how we get the girl. Get it together. You can do this." Then with one last shake, he left the bathroom only to collide with Mun-Yeong. She stumbled backwards and impulsively he reached out to steady her by her shoulders, when she looked balanced he pulled his hands back, suddenly shy, he was all sweaty and gross. "So I was waiting for you outside and you didn't show up, when I came inside I heard all the noise coming from the gym and I found out you had a game. How come you didn't tell me?" She inquired, eyes glimpsing down his body, so fast he almost missed it,  she was probably disgusted by how sweaty he was. "I'm sorry. I tried to find you to tell you I couldn't wait with you. Are you okay? Did anyone bother you?" His fist clenched at the idea. She shook her head side to side, "No you worrywart I was fine on the sidewalk, I was just curious why you didn't tell me about your game. Did you not want me there?" He detected....hurt in her voice but that couldn't be right, right? "I..um.. well." He stuttered over his words scared to tell her how much he wanted her everywhere with him but how distracting she was and how much he liked her. He was saved from saying any of that by his brother bursting out from the doors, "Little brother, why are you hiding out here? The game's going to start again soon, your coach looks like he's going to pop a vei--" Sang-Tae paused noticing Mun-Yeong, looking back and forth between them. "Now who might this be? Little brother you didn't tell me you had a pretty girlf-" He ran over, clasping his hand over his brother's big mouth before he would finish that sentence. "Shut. Up." They started to push each other, his brother licking his hand to free himself, ew, he shoved him in retaliation before his brother grappled him into his signature headlock. He tapped in concession until he was freed, only to see Mun-Yeong's retreating back. "Gosh, you're so annoying." He puffed at Sang-Tae looking longingly at her back, not wanting to leave their conversation like that, he hadn't even gotten a chance to explain himself. Hadn't built up the courage to tell her his true feelings yet, he was working hours to it. Slowly. Molasses dripping in summer slow. "Hey miss, with the short hair? I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt." Sang-Tae called out, ignoring his punches, beckoning her back. She stopped. Then turned back towards them, as he shuffled awkwardly, not comfortable conversing with her around other people, much less his brother, who knew what would come out of his mouth? When she reached them, Sang-Tae offered his palm, "I'm Gang-Tae's older brother, Moon Sang-Tae and you are...?" She politely shook his hand with a sweet smile, "I'm Ko Mun-Yeong." "Are you two just friends or..." He mischievously glanced between them, his eyebrow wriggling up and down.  "Can you stop? This is why I don't introduce you to anyone." He grumbled, shooting apologetic glances at Mun-Yeong. I'm so sorry my brother is an idiot, please don't stop talking to me.  "We're friends, your brother has a knack for showing up right when I need him, some would say it's destiny." Nose crinkle. She was teasing again. Sang-Tae looked at him with mock awe, "Oh helping ladies in distress huh? I'll take credit for that little brother, you clearly learned that from me." Then one of his team mates slammed the gym doors open, calling his name, there was two minutes until the second half started. Half time over and he didn't feel any more prepared to be back on the court. He started to walk away, unsure of what to say to Mun-Yeong, so instead choosing to run, but his brother had other plans in mind. He grabbed his jersey, bodily yanking him back. "Now miss Mun-Yeong, are you superstitious? Little brother here looks like he could use some luck, he seems a bit distracted. Would you be willing to help him out this time?" He watched her head tilt inquisitively before she answered, "Sure, how can I help him?" "Well, of course a good luck kiss." Gang-Tae felt his brain go offline, shut down. There was no way his brother had actually said what he thought he heard. Sang-Tae was not that crazy. He must have heard wrong. "He's just joking", he smacked his brother, hard, in the stomach, "He has a sick sense of humor, I'll just be going, I'll see you both aft--" "Okay, if you think it'll help." She answered resolutely, calmly approaching him, catching his wrist in her small hand. He held in a gasp. His eyes fixated on her lips, the same lips that had starred in his dreams. He’s never kissed anyone before, but thoughts of doing that with her kept him wake at nights, tossing and turning. At one low point, he had even considered kisses his damn pillow to have some sort of practice for the real thing. 

He couldn’t breathe, it was like all the air had been sucked from the room and his vision blurred until all he could see were her lips. Moving closer, she lifted herself on the tips of her toes, looking like a real ballerina in her black ballet slippers. Her hands taking a hold of his shaking shoulders for balance, and finally soft as a butterfly’s wing, her lips met his cheek. She pressed a little bit harder and with a mwah, it was over. 

Words escaped him. 

“I hope that was enough luck.” With that those final words and a wave, she sauntered away. 

He let out the breath he had been holding in, touching his warm cheek, before turning to his brother in shock and pure jubilation, and did he already say shock? 

“See little brother, I told you all you needed to do was come to me. She seems nice, make sure to keep being a gentle man, impress her.” Sang-Tae clapped him hard on the back, before dragging him back into the court, his legs felt like they jelly.  

They lost the game. He really didn’t care. 

                                                 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Mun-Yeong hadn’t come to school today, it was her birthday and as usual she was missing. He hoped that meant she had plans with her parents, everyone knew about her parents, her father was a renowned architect known for his amazing skyscrapers in the heart of Seoul and her mother was a famed mystery writer, consistently on the bestseller’s list. Clearly, she had inherited her mother’s passion for words, her own short stories were read by everyone in the school. 

He was sure that her birthday was a huge spectacle in her house, with a banquet of food and gifts that spilled to the floor, she always came in the day after with a new trinket. Gold earrings, a ruby hair pin that made her hair look glossier than normal, designer boots, obviously all birthday gifts. 

That knowledge made him wilt in chagrin as he thought of the measly gift he had gotten for her, when he had mentioned it was her birthday to Sang-Tae he had all but dragged him out the house to purchase a gift for her. “You can’t not get her a gift, haven’t you ever courted a lady before?”  He blushed recalling, the answer was clear, he had never courted anyone and Mun-Yeong was not just anyone, she was perfection.  It was intimidating to say the least. He also wasn’t completely sure what they were? After the kiss incident, they had continued on as normal. 

Greetings in the hallways when they crossed paths, he had started walking her to her class in the morning, happily carrying her books and helping her store them in her homeroom locker. The first time he had felt everyone’s eyes on him in the classroom, as if their presence had paused all conversations in the room. Whispers erupting, “Oh my god are they dating?” “She has never let anyone carry her books before!” “Didn’t she turn down Daniel Choi?” 

Mun-Yeong had acted on as if she didn’t hear the gossip surging around her, instead placing a warm hand on his cheek, thanking him for his help. She sent him off with a honeyed smile, “Thank you. I’ll see you later?” 

He nodded. Walking away, touching his cheek in wonder, again. 

Then it became a routine. He would show up early, waiting for her and carry her books to class, savoring her little touches of gratitude. A warm hand on his cheek, syrupy sweet smiles, eating it all up like he was starved for affection. 

But maybe that’s how friends behaved when they were of opposite sexes, he’d never had a female friend besides Nam Ju-Ri but that was different they barely spoke, he would just find her staring at him at odd times. He didn’t think too much about why. 

Whenever he thought of Mun-Yeong touching others the way she did with him, the urge to punch something came over him. Preferably whoever else was getting her attention. But he never saw her with other boys. Despite all the attention she received, she seemed ignorant to their interest. 

As he caught sight of Seung-Jae he snapped out of his thoughts, he needed to ask her a favor. She was on the phone has he approached her, voice soft but audible, “I’m sorry, do you want me to come over? I can be there in ten minutes..” She trailed off as she turned around to find him standing there. Her eyes lit up as if she had just conjured an extraordinary idea. “You know what, let me call you back. Destiny just showed up.” 

His face twisted in confusion at her words, but he didn’t question her, still thinking of the favor he needed to ask. 

“Moon Gang-Tae, what a pleasant surprise, do you know that today is a very special day?”

Great, they were already on the right track. 

“Yes, I know. I wanted to ask you a favor actually.” 

He had gotten closer to Seung-Jae as a result of hanging out with Mun-Yeong, she was nice and fiercely loyal to her friend. He was happy that Mun-Yeong had a friend like that, at times her other “friends” didn’t seem completely genuine. 

“A favor? What favor? I have something I want to ask you too.” 

She swung her arms, inquisitive look on her round face. 

He clumsily reached into his back, pulling out a box that was wrapped with shiny paper and a simple silver bow. It was thin and rectangular in shape. 

He handed it to Seung-Jae, “Can you...um if you don’t mind, can you give this to Mun-Yeong? It’s nothing special but I wanted to give her a gift.” He mumbled under his breath.

Seung-Jae slowly took the box, surveying it with spacious eyes, illustrating why Mun-Yeong’s playful nickname for her was Bambi. 

“I want to counter your favor with a different favor. Can you bring this to Mun-Yeong yourself?”

He stood silently, perplexed by her question. Why would he do that? He’s never been inside Mun-Yeong’s house, the few times her driver didn’t show up and he walked her home, he had simply done that, walked her home. He would stutter out a quick goodbye and be on his way. 

“You really don’t know huh?” She looked at him like he was the stupidest person on earth before sighing and whispering under her breath, “This guy is really something else.” 

This was hands down the most confounding discussion he had never had. 

“Just take it to her yourself, trust me.” She pushed the box back into his hands, rolling her eyes at him before striding off, “Don’t just stand there. Bring it to her, now.” 

That was how he found himself at the sleek building, twisting his fingers, he didn’t even know how to get to Mun-Yeong. With trepidation, he finally entered going to the front desk, he had never been in a place this fancy. 

“Good afternoon sir, how may I help you?”

“Um...I..um..well.” He floundered over his words, cursing Seung-Jae for placing him in this predicament. Until he got a savior in the form of a snappy, loud driver. 

A strong hand landed on his shoulder and with a jolt, he twisted around, to the calculating eyes of Mun-Yeong’s personal driver, Mr. Lee. 

“Moon Gang-Tae was it? What are you doing here?” 

He felt minuscule under the intense gaze and it took all of his fortitude, not to look away, it felt like a test he couldn’t afford to fail. 

“I am...um I came to bring Mun-Yeong a birthday gift. I know today is her birthday.” 

Mr. Lee’s hand tightened on his shoulder, he quietly winced in pain and then the hand was gone. And he was rewarded with a slight curve of the lip, it was too small to call a smile but it was on its way. 

“Is that so? Okay.” Mr. Lee then turned to the smiling worker at the front desk, and within second he was given a name tag that he carefully placed on his uniform shirt. Moon Gang-Tae. He was informed to go to the sixtieth floor, only one elevator took you there. 

“Don’t hurt her.” Mr. Lee said with iron in his voice, and his steps echoed on the marble floor as he stomped away. 

Gang-Tae stood speechless at his words, hurt her. He would never dream of it. He didn’t have the capacity to even think of hurting her. He was counting the seconds until she decided this friendship was no longer worth her precious time, on that day he would know pain like no other. But him hurt her, inconceivable. 

He shuffled outside the glamorous door, it looked more expensive than everything in his own home. He knew that Mun-Yeong came from wealth, but to see it so visibly was daunting. 

With his heart in his throat, he brought his shivering fist up, curled his fingers and knocked. First softly and when that went unanswered he knocked harder. 

He heard movement behind the door and then she appeared. Looking like a fallen angel in all black, she donned a short black dress with long sleeves and a short pleated shirt, gold buttons shined remarkably on her chest. On her creamy long legs were knee-high socks, his brain stopped and then reset at the sight. 

“Gang-Tae? What are you doing here?” She pulled him in the lavish space, all smooth marble and hard wood. Everything was neat and organized, it looked like something out of an architectural design magazine. 

She looked up at him with dewy eyes and that’s when he noticed the slight red that rimmed them as well. She had been crying and on her birthday, why? That was unacceptable. 

Instinctively he reached out with sure hands, brushing against her eyes, “You’ve been crying? Are you okay?” He yearned to draw her into his arms and fight whoever had made her cry on this special day. 

Her head descended as she rubbed at her eyes, before looking back with a joker smile, only the corners of her mouth moved, “I’m fine. Just had something in my eye.” The lie settled in the air and he allowed her this moment of dishonesty. Sometimes it was hard for him to put his true feelings into words too. Pushing her wouldn’t yield the desired outcome. 

“Anyway, what are you doing here? Did you come to check on me? How did you even get in? I haven’t added you to the guest list yet.”

Yet.  She had plans to add him to some exclusive list, he straightened up in satisfaction. 

“Happy Birthday Mun-Yeong, I brought you a gift.” He pulled the box from where he had it hidden in his pocket, looking away as he pressed it into her hands. 

She gasped, looking between him and the box, unraveling the box and lifting the cover. If he had been looking at her, he would have seen the tears that filled in her eyes, the soft o that formed on her lips, the way her body melted as she saw his present. 

Unfortunately he missed all that. 

On a plush bedding, laid a gold pen, besotted with small diamonds, on the very top sat a larger diamond that sparkled with the natural light that filtered into the room, as she turned it over, her own named stared back at her in looping letters, Ko Mun-Yeong. 

Her silence was unsettling. 

“I know it’s not much....but when I saw it I thought of you. You write such beautiful words, I thought it was..fitting that you have a worthy pen.” 

Silence continued. 

Until there was a whimper and suddenly he had an armful of crying Mun-Yeong. He stood paralyzed as she clutched to him, fingers twisting in his uniform shirt, her tears wet on his chest. Delicately, he brought his arms up to encompass her, trembling fingers on her back and she grounded in closer and that broke his resolve, he wrapped her up tightly, ever so carefully stroking her hair. 

His own heart felt shattered as he felt her break apart in his arms. 

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. Everything is going to be okay.” 

He uttered those words to her, they were lies even to his ears. He was not okay. He needed a minute for his brain to catch up with everything that was occurring. But his drive to protect her overrode his drive to protect himself. 

She tearfully started to talk, “Every year, they tell me they’ll be here. That we’ll eat together as a family, I get so excited. Everyone thinks it’s great having rich parents, but I never see them. I spend all my time alone in this huge apartment, the only person I ever eat with is Sang-In. Then the day after gifts show up, pretty empty gifts that mean nothing to me. I just want...”

The sentence is left incomplete, but the rest is clear, want my parents. I just want love. Zombie Kid becomes clearer. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  He lets her cry into his shirt, until her whimpers peter off. She doesn’t leave his arms, but he feels her head lifting and he glances down to meet her gaze. 

“Gosh, I’m so sorry I cried all over you.” 

“I didn’t mind, I’m glad I was here to be your tissue.” He means it with all his heart. 

She lets out a wet laugh, “You are the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.” 

You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. One day he’ll say it out loud. 

“I’m relieved my awful gift didn’t make you cry, my brother always says I’m a horrible gift giver.” He reaches back to scratch his neck nervously. 

She looks back down at the pen with wonder-filled eyes, “I love it. It’s the best gift I’ve ever received, every time I write I’ll think of you.” 

Their eyes meets and its as if there is a gravitational pull, she grabs his shoulders and he finds himself leaning down bridging the gap between them, their lips inching closer and closer together, his heart thumping out of his chest, he’s sure she can hear it. She licks her delectable lips, now millimetres away and then his stomach grumbles loudly. The sound loud enough to smack them out of the moment, he violently blushes, wishing that he would sink into the ground. 

Her light giggle permeates the air and as he watches the joy on her face, his shame fades, he would be the butt of every joke if it meant seeing her smile. 

                            <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

He hadn’t expected her to agree, actually hadn’t even meant to ask her, but as usual when around her his brain wasn’t able to function properly. That’s how he found himself inviting her for dinner at his house. Her enthusiasm was unanticipated therefore he knew that he couldn’t rescind the invitation after seeing her elation.  

Alas, they got on a bus and ventured off to his house, he was too terrified of her driver to accept her offer to have him drive them, and once she had put on heeled boots he knew he wouldn’t let her walk the distance. 

Her beauty did not go unnoticed on the bus ride, several times he found himself seething at random men who deemed it appropriate to devour her with their eyes. He didn’t notice her knowing smile as he had placed his body directly behind her, shielding her from their hunger gaze. 

It was with a huge sigh of relief that they finally exited the bus and made the quick walk to his humble abode. Their fingers brushing, the temptation to clasp her hand in his was astronomical. But he fought it off, too much of a coward for something so bold and revealing. 

His house was nothing compared to her luxurious apartment but still her first words were, “It’s lovely.” And his... fondness grew, if that was even possible. 

They both removed their shoes at the door, and his mother’s voice shouted out at the familiar sound, “You’re home a bit late, we were just about to start eating without you.”

He’d thought of calling ahead and asking threatening Sang-Tae to be on his best behavior, he knew they would both make a big deal about this, he’d never brought a girl home before, and never thought his first would be the girl of his dreams but his life was out of control lately. But he’d gotten distracted by the creeps on the bus and defending Mun-Yeong had taken priority. 

“Hi mom, actually.... um I have a...guest.” 

“Oh, is it Jae-Su? Come on in sweetie, I made more than enough food, he can join us.” 

Then he heard Sang-Tae join in, “No, tell him to go eat at his house. He’s always here, doesn’t he have his own family? Little punk.” 

He heard his mother’s resounding smack and Sang-Tae’s answering cry of pain and he walked further into his house, Mun-Yeong following closely behind with folded hands in front of her. He’d never seen her nervous before. 

All of  a sudden, her hand grabbed onto his arm, stalling his progression. He looked at her in question, watching as she nervously fixed her already faultless hair, “How do I look? Do I look okay?” 

She couldn’t be serious. He searched her face for the joke but found nothing but earnest honesty. That took his head for a spin, she didn’t know she was perfect. Wow. 

“You look pretty.” He found himself saying exactly what was on his mind for once, and was instantly glad about his decision, she rewarded him with the most brilliant smile, he desperately hopelessly wanted to kiss it and see if it tasted as mouthwatering as it looked. 

“Listen, it’s not that I don’t like you but you gotta eat at your house.....”  Sang-Tae’s voice trailed off as he rounded the corner and his eyes landed on them, then settling on just Mun-Yeong, his eyes widening in shock and then mischief. Gang-Tae mentally groaned. 

“Brother you brought your pretty...lady friend! How wonderful! Why didn’t you say so? She is always welcome here, come in, come in. Don’t spend all evening in the doorway.” He watched as his brother took Mun-Yeong by her shoulder, guiding her into the house, excitement bubbling in his voice. 

He followed behind them. 

Dinner was loud as usual with his family, he was scared that she would feel overwhelmed but after a few wide-eyed stares she joined the ruckus. Answering all of Sang-Tae’s ludicrous questions and politely complimenting his mother’s cooking, causing her to blush and wave it off.  With a heavy heart he realized that the most important people in his life were all in this room. He blinked away the happy tears that gathered in his eyes as he slurped his noodles. 

“So Mun-Yeong, you look beautiful today.” His mother gestured at her outfit, “Is it a special occasion? Or..”  She nodded and quietly stated, “Yes. Today is my birthday.” 

Gang-Tae watched more questions wash over his family’s face. Why was she spending it here with them? Why wasn’t she with her family? But with a quick slap of his hand on the table, he got their attention and firmly shook his head, no. They understood. 

“Well, thank you for joining us on such a special day. We should sing for you.”

His mother found some candles in a drawer and they stuck it in a cupcake, with only the soft glow from the candle, they sang for her, all ignoring the wetness that swam in her eyes.  Happy birthday to you. 

He waited with her outside, an old jacket of his wrapped around her slender figure, he’d noticed her shivering and shed the jacket immediately to give to her, ignoring her arguments. Lifting her hand and placing it on his stomach, “It’s okay I run hot.” Her fingers had trembled at bit on his stomach, sudden heat in her eyes as well before she drew her fingers back. 

Mr. Lee had sounded surprised that she was not home but had agreed to come collect her. 

The wind blew as they waited for him, sitting on the steps at the entrance of his house. She looked so small swimming in his jacket. His eyes darkened with desire seeing her wrapped up in him. 

“Usually, I spend my birthday alone, ignoring Sang-In and Seung-Jae because I want to believe my parents are going to show up. It’s always so shitty, but today, it wasn’t shitty at all. That’s thanks to you. You always show up when I need you.” 

He tried to decipher the emotion brimming in her eyes, but couldn’t quite place them, he had to be projecting, it was impossible that she was looking at him, the way he looked at her. His brain and his heart warred, screaming opposite messages rendering him lost. 

Then in the blink of an eye, he was found. 

Easily closing the distance between them, her lips found his, a soft press, skin against skin, time slowed down and all he could hear was their staggered breathing. He felt his body move on auto pilot, his hand reaching out to cradle her head, deepening the kiss, her mouth slide open and his tongue slithered in. Her taste exploded on his taste buds and he was eager for more. Her hands sunk into his thick hair, tugging softly, bursts of pain shot through his scalp and he moaned in pleasure. She crawled into his lap and he held on for dear life, pulling her back when she shifted away, lifting her easily and swallowing her gasp. 

They pulled apart with puffy wet lips, the desire in her eyes hitting him like a tidal wave. 

“Where did you learn to kiss like that? How many girls are you saving?” She panted out teasingly, but he could hear an edge of truth in her voice, he blushed both at her inquiry and how unbelievably sexy she sounded. 

“No one. Just you. It’s always been just you.” 

“Good.” And he was pulled into another mind-melting kiss. 

                     <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Suspended. For a week. Principal Oh had scolded him until his ears were scarlet, he’d sat squirming as the man berated him for using his fists instead of his words. His mother was not going to be happy with him, his grades were subpar at most, Mun-Yeong had tried tutoring him but they often got..distracted and most session would end with someone’s tongue in the other’s mouth. It was the absolute best. 

Jae-Su had also not been happy with him, “You’re my best friend what I am going to do without you for a week? Why did you have to punch him? What’s wrong with you lately?”

He hadn’t meant to really, it was like his body went primal and when he came back he was smashing in Daniel’s pompous face. He’d stayed late for practice, Mun-Yeong seeing him off with a warm kiss and “Have a good practice” and he still wasn’t used to that, the fact that he got to have that. Her kisses and her hugs and her smiles. They were all gifts and somehow he’d been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of those precious things. 

That’s when he had heard the voice, “You know she’s just trying to make me jealous right? There’s no way she’d choose you over me, girls like her they enjoy the chase.” The smarmy voice invaded his ears and he walked around him, pushing back his angry and insecurity. He, himself had thought similar ideas before, wondered what a girl like her could see in a guy like him? But she was steadfast, always quick to praise him and tell him what a great boyfriend he was, how happy he made her.  Soon, her words soaked into his skin and he started to believe her. He clung to that now. 

“Or maybe she likes slumming it, has some weird fantasy about being with someone beneath her. Bet she likes it roug--” And he never got to finish that disgusting sentence because Gang-Tae’s fist interrupted, slamming hard into his mouth, Daniel grabbed his face in shocked pain and suddenly they were wrestling limps on the ground. Coach had been the one to break them up, all of his basketball teammates looking on in awe, in pure disbelief at the participants of the fight. 

He sighed at the memory, it wasn’t his proudest moment, he was of the mindset that fighting didn’t solve anything but damn it had felt good to knock the smug smile off that bastard’s face. He could eat shit in the nicest way possible. 

However, now with time process, he was definitely second guessing his sporadic decision, how would Mun-Yeong feel about his fighting? She had mentioned on many occasions that she hated men who acted like women were a prize to be fought over, that’s why she loved how calm and rational he was. He groaned. 

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he missed the knock at his door. Then he jumped as it turned to pounding. He dropped the towel filled with ice that he was using to ice his knuckles and went to the door, cautiously pulling it open. 

Mun-Yeong instantly pushed her way in, speedily removing her shoes, before taking his hand and dragging him into his living room. She shoved him into the couch before plopping next to him. 

The stark anger on her pretty face shifted to worry when she saw the various bruises on his face, his lip was busted and he had a cut next to his right eye. it stung a little but he had carefully cleaned it when he got home, employing all the first aid techniques his mother had taught him. 

“I heard you got suspended! What happened? Why didn’t you call me right away? Who were you fighting? Are you crazy?” She fired off question after question, voice raising in octave after each other and he placed a finger on her lips to stop the diatribe of words. 

“I can’t answer your questions, if you keep asking me new ones.” 

She scoffed crossing her arms but quieted down, looking at him expectedly, okay go ahead, explain. 

“Well as you heard I got into a fight. I’m not proud of that but he had it coming, I would do it again.” He answered with conviction, her eyebrows lifted in surprise at his eyes. 

“What were you fighting about?”

The one question he didn’t want to answer. He loathed the idea of being another neanderthal in her eyes, someone who couldn’t control themselves and lashed out like a child. That wasn’t who he was, but his actions today said otherwise. The last thing he wanted was for her view of him to be altered. Losing her would break him, he knew it. 

But he also couldn’t lie. When they had stumbled into this relationship, she’d made him swear that no matter how painful it may be, she always wanted the truth in its entirety. Up until today, that had been an easy request to honor. 

So he stayed silent. 

She moved closer, gentle fingers brushing over his bruises, pulling back as he winced. “Tell me, why did you fight today?”

With a quiet plead he begged, “Please, I don’t want to.” 

With finality she responded, “It was about me then, you fought someone trying to defend me.”

His head snapped up to look at her- how an earth did she know?-  expecting to see disappointment and instead he was met with....passion? She took his silence as agreement and her next words knocked him off his feet, “I know I shouldn’t but I find that really.....hot.” 

He gaped at her and suddenly, she lunged at him and he was knocked onto his back on the couch, her body smashed against his. “Will it hurt if I kiss you?” She breathlessly asked and he grabbed her neck, pulling her into a heated kiss. Wet tongues twirling and stroking, her breath hitched when he grabbed her waist, dragging her impossibly closer. Wet smacks reverberated in the room and he hissed when he felt her cool fingers creep under his shirt, nails scratching across his abs. 

The first time she’d seen him shirtless, she had gasped and then reached out with a bold hand, caressing his skin, “Mmmm all mine.” His cheeks had burned but he hadn’t argued, he was all hers, there was no competition. 

But they hadn’t gone beyond kissing yet, she would eagerly reach under his shirt during their make out sessions but he had yet to return the favor, despite her encouragement. He was scared of his own reaction. 

She loved bulldozing over his comfort zone though and seeming emboldened today she leaned back, he missed her body on his instantly, suppressing his own sad whimper, he raptly watched her.  She plucked his hands from there stationary position on his sides and lifted them, then slowly she brought them closer to herself. Soon the destination became clear. 

Her breast. 

His hands tense in fear and anticipation, before he felt the soft mounds underneath his hands. Electricity rapidly moved through his fingers. “Touch me.” She whispered with a sultry look from beneath dark lashes and he squeezed. 

She easily climbed into his lap, rejoining their lips, forcing his mouth open with her tongue, as she moaned at his hands exploration of her breast, he could feel her hard nipples through the thin material of her uniform shirt. She began to grind on his him, he realized with thunderous clarify that he was hard, all of the blood surging to his burgeoning erection. 

Instinctively, he grinded up into her, moving one hand to tug her skirt up and out of the way, groaning at the sudden heat he could feel though her panties. She was panting, bobbing in his lap, as they grinded through their clothes. 

Wet mouths met over and over, until they just hovered over each other’s lips, breathing into each other as their bodies met in harsh collisions. She was moving faster now, grinding with intent as he roughly handled her breasts and he felt the moment she reached euphoria, she threw her head back, nails digging into her shoulder as she shuddered in his arms. 

He watched her face intently, her pretty red lips, her eyes closed in pleasure and that was all it took to push him over the edge, his orgasm knocked him back, his vision clouded up and he groaned at the warm stickiness in his pants. 

“Next time we’ll do that with less clothes.” 

He mewled at her words, too spent to become hard again so soon. 

After freshening up in the bathroom, she’d dragged him into his bed, snuggling into his arms, he started to pull away knowing that this was a dangerous game they were playing, they couldn’t fall asleep. His mother was accepting but even she would not want two horny teenagers in bed in her house. She soothed him, “Don’t worry, I’m not staying I just want to cuddle a little. I set an alarm, I’ll leave soon. Just hold me.”

He wrapped her up in his arms, as she placed her hand and head on his chest. Fingers rapping on his chest before she fell into a deep slumber. He watched her sleeping face in awe, she was his girlfriend and they had just...did that on the couch. 

He felt his own eyes getting heavy with sleep, and soon started to drift off too, for once not having any dreams, because his biggest dream was already a reality. 

I’m Back in My Body

Luke has a conversation with KayKay that pushes him to re-consider his own gender identity.

Hello all. This was born out of @daydadahlias and I chatting about KayKay in their latest fic and Jess reminded me of part of this series, where I had KayKay come out as non-binary and in turn, it helped Luke come out as non-binary. KayKay uses she/they pronouns and Luke uses he/they pronouns. So thank Jess for pushing me to finish this part of the series. I’ve been thinking about Luke’s gender in this series for a while and Jess gave me the push i needed to explore it. 

Big thanks to @tigerteeff for many things: the original push to write this series, to keep going with this series, for the encouragement of having Luke and KayKay be non-binary. Heath has inspired many parts of this series and I love them for it. Also thanks to @lifewasradical, for the help on this doc and the constant love and support I really wouldn't be half the writer I am without you I love you thanks for putting up with me. And to Mandie, Molly, Brooke and Meg for reminding me to do what I love and listening to me while I ranted about writing. Love you guys.

on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29793279

As far as days go, it’s a pretty average Tuesday. Ashton’s out doing some music things with his friend Matt and Michael and Calum are doing their own weird MikeyandCal things that had sounded vaguely close to sexual. Luke had pouted about being left until Ashton had kissed him and told him it was healthy to spend time apart. Luke doubts it, but it also gives him some free time to go hang out with (harass) Sierra and KayKay at the store. 

Luke shows up close to noon, blowing through the door in a floral sundress and heeled gold boots. It had been one of those mornings, when Luke had looked at all of his pants and felt uncomfortable at the thought of anything masculine. The weather’s nice enough for sundresses now, a relief to Luke’s scratchy brain when he’d put it on. It’s a dress Sierra recommended once, all soft pinks and bright flowers and he wants Sierra to see it. 

Sierra’s standing at the counter, clicking around on her laptop. She grins when she spots Luke, waving him over.

“Luke! Just the person I was hoping to see. I’m putting the final touches on those photos you wanted for Ashton’s gift. Come look!” She waves him over. Luke grins, crossing the store to lean over the counter and look at her computer. 

Luke looks good in them, propped up and posed on the couch they’d used, in his bed (which had taken some convincing to get Ashton out of the house long enough without him suspecting what was going on). Luke looks soft and delicate, pink lips and soft curls and wrapped in lace and bows.

“They look so good, Si. How’d you manage to make me look so good?” 

“Thank KayKay. Without them taking the photos, they wouldn’t look so good. I can only do so much in editing. You’re easy to photograph and KayKay took such good photos of you.”

“I’m not a particularly good model. KayKay’s just really good.”

“Give yourself some credit Luke,” Sierra says, smacking Luke on the arm. He blushes. 

“Where is KayKay anyway?”

“In the back. Why don’t you go see them?” Sierra says, going back to the laptop. Luke nods, rounding the counter and going behind the curtain. KayKay’s sitting at the table in the back on a computer. KayKay glances up at Luke and that’s when he notices the name badge. It has KayKay’s name on it, but under that is listed they/them. Luke stops.

“Hey Luke,” they say smiling, holding their hand out to Luke. Luke sits down next to them, looking down at the name badge.

“Hey KayKay. Sierra was just showing me the photos. Are the pronouns new?” Luke blurts out, questions running through his mind. 

“No. Some days are just more they days and today is one of them, so I put my pronouns on my nametag. No confusion that way.”

“What do you mean they days?” 

“I’m non-binary Luke. Sometimes I have days where I feel comfortable being a woman and some days I don’t feel gender connected at all.”

“I...I didn’t know about that,” Luke says, quietly. The words stick with him, something about the feeling about them sitting heavy in his chest. He can’t place what it is about what KayKay’s said that’s sticking with him, but he’s just on the edge of it as he stares at their face.

“Did you really not know I was non-binary?” 

“I guess I just never paid attention to some of the cues or the pronouns you two used or whatever. I feel so stupid now.” 

“If you had misgendered me, I would have said something.” 

“What does it mean?” 

“What does what mean?” 

“Being non-binary. What does it mean for you?” 

KayKay shrugs, pushing a strand of hair behind their ear. Luke tracks the movement, trying to focus on it, to stop the panic in his own chest that he can’t place. 

“I just don’t always feel right in my own body. Sometimes I wake up and I feel okay. I feel like this is who I am. That I’m a woman and it’s okay. That that’s how I want to present myself and be seen by the world as on those days. Some days I wake up and I know it’s not one of those days. I know it’s not going to be a day where I feel right with myself. I feel a disconnect from the person I am. Sometimes feeling right with myself means I don’t feel like a woman. I just feel like me, no gender attached. It changes how I present myself, how I want the world to see me. Sometimes I don’t want to be seen at all. I just want to exist without anyone labeling me or who I am. Some days I don’t mind the labels. Some days I’m indifferent. Some days it feels like I can’t handle it if someone gives me a gendered label and I have to correct them. Everyone’s different but that’s how I feel,” they say, smiling over at Luke, soft and slow. Luke swallows, feels his chest tighten a little bit. 

“Oh,” Luke whispers, wrinkling up his nose. A lot of what they’re saying feels a little too close to home for Luke. The feeling of unrest in their body, of not feeling connected to the image they’re putting on. How the idea of how other people’s perception was wrong to how they were feeling. It all feels too close to how Luke feels. The sense of unease on some days when interviewers would call them all boys. The fact that the lingerie and dresses blur the lines of who Luke is. That no matter how nice it is, seeing the look of want and desire on Ashton’s face when he sees what Luke’s wearing, it was never about that. It was always about Luke’s ability to breathe, the warmth in his chest, the feeling of security he got whenever he put it all on. It was always about how he felt like it was coming home, getting to see himself in the mirrors, see the delicate lines and soft angles, crying the illusion of softness and femininity to his body, the tightness easing when he sees himself in the mirrors. Luke thinks he might be crying, feels the pressure at the back of his eyes.

“Luke, have you really never thought about this before?” KayKay asks, voice soft. Luke turns to face them, sees the look of concern on their face. Luke just shakes his head, pressing his face into his crossed arms. He’s trying so hard not to cry, doesn’t want KayKay to see him like this, even if they’re his friend. He hates when anyone who isn’t Ashton sees him at his lowest. 

“I guess I didn’t want to. I had one teenage panic about my sexuality. I already had the crisis about wearing lingerie and the dresses and everything else. I have had so many fucking crisises. I’m supposed to be happy now, why can’t I just be happy with who I am,” Luke mumbles. He sniffs, trying to stop the tears from flowing. KayKay sighs, scooting closer till they’re pressed against Luke’s side. They wrap their arms around him in a pseudo hug, resting their head on top of his. 

“Luke, honey, describe to me again how you feel when you wear everything?”

“Happy. I feel so happy. I put the first pair of panties on and it just felt right. I haven’t fit right in my own body since I had my growth spurt when I got all broad and tall. I used to hate looking at myself because I felt too big and masculine and I just miss feeling delicate and it did that. It made me feel delicate and lovely and I felt like I could breath. And I have some days where just wearing them underneath my shirts and trousers are enough, where I feel masculine and that’s okay. But I have some days, where I have to wear it all. I have to put on the dress and the heels and I go out in all of it, where I want to deck myself out, I want to be as feminine as possible. I had someone call me Miss in the store once,” Luke says. KayKay hums. 

“How did you feel?” 

“About?” 

“Her perception of you.” 

Luke pauses, considering it. He hasn’t thought about the incident in months. It was one of the few days where he’s gotten dressed up and gone out in public without any of the guys and without going to Sierra and KayKay’s store. He’d woken up feeling itchy in his own skin, kept pulling on layers, the bra and panties not doing anything on their own. He’d had to put on a whole thing, long flowing summer dress and wedges, makeup to match, until he’d felt comfortable enough to look in the mirror. He’d gone to Ulta and ended up poking around the makeup until a sales associate had come over, called him Miss, asked if he needed anything. She’d asked for his name and without thinking he’d said Liz. He doesn’t know what made him say it, knows that even if he had said Luke no one would have cared, but something in the moment made him want to be feminine. He’s never told anyone this before, took the memory home with him. He never even told Ashton about it, the way the feeling of it had settled in his chest, having someone look at him and see feminine.

“It felt okay. Having someone see me and see feminine it just felt so good. I have to be Stage Luke all the time, that it just felt nice to have someone see me and not wonder. But I don’t feel female enough either, ” Luke says. 

“Maybe that’s what it means for you. For me, being non-binary means I have some days where I feel like a woman, like that’s who I am and some days where I just feel like I’m not, where I don’t feel connected to my gender at all. For you, maybe it means some days you feel more masculine and comfortable being a man and sometimes you don’t feel that way at all. Maybe some days you feel more feminine.” 

“Is that allowed?” 

“Luke sweetie, it’s you. It’s all about how you perceive yourself, what you think of yourself as. There’s no right way or wrong way to be non-binary. That’s the beauty of it. It’s all up to you,” Kaykay says. Luke rolls the words around in his head, thinking about them. Thinks about what it means to have a word to describe how he’s feeling, the sense of who he is. Luke’s never felt all the way “female” exactly, but he does have days where that feels closer to who he is than “male” does. 

“Is it?”

“It is. It’s all a personal experience. That’s the wonderful thing about personal gender experiences. They’re unique to each person,” KayKay says, smiling at Luke, squeezing his arm. Luke smiles at them, pressing his face into their shoulder. 

“I think today is one of those days for me. I woke up and I thought about what I wanted to wear today and the idea of anything masculine made me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t feel comfortable until I went through my whole routine.”

“So maybe today is a they day,” KayKay says softly. Luke rolls the words around in his head.

“I think maybe it is. I think today I want to try it,” Luke says softly. KayKay nods. It’s different to think about, trying to wrap their head around it, but it feels good. Thinking about themselves like that, removing the idea of being one or the other and just existing. 

“I’m proud of you Lu. I’m here if you need anything,” KayKay says, kissing them on the temple. Luke smiles, turning to face KayKay.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime. Now, I heard there were photos to show you. Come on, let’s gush about how pretty you are,” KayKay says, pulling Luke to their feet. Luke grins. It feels right, something about it just feels right.

***

When Luke gets home, Ashton’s car is already in the driveway. Luke sits in the car for a bit, tapping their fingers against the steering wheel. They’ve been thinking about the conversation since talking to KayKay, how to talk to Ashton about it. Luke doesn’t know if it’s too soon or whatever to talk to Ashton about how they’re feeling, but Luke wants Ashton to know. They want Ashton to know they’re exploring themselves and what it means to Luke. Luke’s nervous about how Ashton’s going to respond to it, but it’s Ashton. Luke’s pretty sure there’s nothing they could really do to upset Ashton at this point, easy-going, loving Ashton.

Luke turns off the car engine, leaving the car and heading up the steps to their front door.

“Hey Ash,” Luke calls, coming through the front door. They hear the sounds of Petunia’s nails on the floor, rushing to the door to demand attention from Luke. Luke gladly gives it to her, dropping to their knees and cooing at her.

“In the kitchen darling,” Ashton calls. Luke scoops up Petunia, making their way through the house, finding Ashton at the kitchen table. He’s clicking around on his laptop, frowning.

“What’s up Ash?”

“Looking for tickets to Australia. Fucking complicated to find anything on short notice.”

“Not expensive?”

“We’re rockstars baby,” Ashton teases, looking up at Luke. He’s wearing his glasses, smiling enough that his dimples are showing. Luke giggles, setting Petunia down so that they can climb into Ash’s lap, press a kiss to his lips. Ashton returns the kiss happily, squeezing Luke’s hips, letting Luke sling their arms around Ashton’s shoulders.

“You look nice,” Ashton says.

“Thanks. Felt like a good day for it. Went to see Sierra and KayKay.”

“How was it?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Luke says, figuring it’s better to get it over with. Ashton furrows his brow, letting Luke settle into his lap before turning away from his computer to face him.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?”

“KayKay was talking to me about how they’re non-binary and I think I might be too. They were describing it and I just...I felt so connected to that. I don’t always feel right in my body. Sometimes I feel like Luke, like I’m okay in my own body, and sometimes I just don’t. I don’t feel quite female, but sometimes I just feel more feminine and that’s how I want the world to see me. I’m not sure what it all means, but I want to explore it.” 

“Oh Luke sweetie, of course you can. Whatever you need darling, I’m right here for you. Is today one of those days?”

“Yeah. I think it is. It just feels like it,” Luke says. Ashton nods, face open and understanding. Luke doesn’t have the words to keep describing how they’re feeling over and over again today, but Ashton’s easy acceptance and love feels good. It reminds Luke that they don’t have to figure everything out today, that they have time. They have time and they have the words to describe how they’re feeling and they have Ashton. Everything else will fall into place after that.

***

Luke waits a couple weeks before sitting down with Michael and Calum to talk about it. Luke spends the time between their revelation and sitting down to talk to the guys. It gives Luke some time to explore what their gender means for them, wrap their head around the words. KayKay is sweet about it, giving Luke answers and resources where they fail to have the answer. Between KayKay’s support and Ashton’s easy acceptance, it’s helped Luke figure out what they want to do. Luke’s still not sure how to come out to their family or even to their fans, but Luke knows that the only way to do that is to talk to Michael and Calum. Luke hasn’t come out to anyone except for Ashton yet. It feels right though, taking the first leap and telling the guys. Luke’s hoping that telling their closest friends will ease some of the tension and uncertainty of having to tell everyone else.

Ashton and Luke set up lunch with Michael and Calum, invited them over. It felt better, doing it in their own home, in a place of comfort. Luke’s nervous though, has been since they got up that morning, got dressed. Luke’s put on another sundress for the day, opting to blur their gender lines again, on a day where it feels the most appropriate. 

Michael and Calum showed up about an hour again, bringing some fruit salad with them to lunch. Luke’s been trying to work up the courage throughout all of lunch, find a way to work it naturally into the conversation. There hasn’t been a time yet and the longer Luke waits, the more nervous they get. Ashton’s been wonderful, pressed close to Luke and squeezing their thigh to comfort them. It’s just about the end of lunch when Luke finally finds a natural place in the conversation to finally bring it up.

“I have something to tell you guys,” Luke says when the conversation dies down.

“You’re leaving Ashton for Troye Sivan,” Michael says, tone teasing.

“I’m not...what is that the first person you think of?” Luke asks. Michael shrugs.

“You’ve decided to leave the band to become a mime,” Calum chimes in, grinning.

“Okay, I’m never letting either of you guess ever again,” Luke says, swatting at Ashton as he continues to laugh with Michael and Calum.

“Alright, alright what did you want to tell us?” Michael asks, when he finally stops. Luke frowns, lump in their throat. Ashton reaches over, squeezing their hand. 

“I’m non-binary. Everyone’s gender expression for identifying is different, but for me it means that someday I feel masculine and comfortable being Luke and being male. Somedays, I feel more feminine. I don’t want to be a woman necessarily, but I want to be seen as more feminine. I want to be less gendered,” Luke says, swallowing, chest tight. Michael reaches across the table, holding his hand out palm up, signaling for Luke to take his hand. Luke reaches out, letting Michael grab their hand and squeeze.

“What can we do for you?” Calum asks.

“Some days I want to use he/him pronouns and some days I want to use they/them pronouns. I’ll start telling you guys in the morning how I feel, especially if we’re doing interviews or public appearances, so I don’t get misgendered or have anyone refer to me with gendered words. I don’t want to change my name, I like Luke. I just want to adjust how the world perceives me. And I don’t know how to come out online or what to say to our management,” Luke says. 

“Fuck management. You gotta do what’s important for you. Say whatever you want online, we’ll back you up,” Michael says, all determination and indignation. 

“But what about our fans? Or the online response? I still have to worry about that,” Luke points out.

“Fuck them if they don’t want to respect you. I don’t need those fans,” Calum says. Luke swallows trying to blink back their tears. Michael and Calum leave their seats, wrapping Luke up in a hug and pressing soft kisses to their head. Luke knows it’s not that simple, can’t just say fuck it to what management will think or how their fanbase will respond. Luke knows it can’t be simple, coming out, expressing their gender publicly. Maybe the first step is for Luke to change their pronouns on their twitter and instagram bios, letting the world find out as they check their page. Getting to see the fan reaction that way would be incredible, pouring out support for them and letting them know how valid they are without having to make a big declaration about it. Luke knows it’s going to be interviews and explanations, trying to talk to people about who they are, but it’s nice. The easy love and acceptance from their friends, knowing that no matter what, they have Ashton and Michael and Calum on their side. The world’s a little brighter for Luke, getting to be themselves, getting to be happy, getting to do it all with their friends. Right here, wrapped up in the guys and their hug, the world feels brighter and full of love and possibilities. 

Supernatural Novel: Bone Key

Welcome to my not-quite review of the third Supernatural novel, Bone Key.

Author: Keith R.A. DeCandido

Timeline: Set after Episode 3.07 A Very Supernatural Christmas

Location: Key West, Florida

Synopsis: Sam and Dean head to Key West, Florida to investigate reports of supercharged ghosts. What they encounter is far deadlier and far older than they ever anticipated.

Warning: Spoilers abound!

I found this book very enjoyable. It was certainly a much faster read than the previous two. With the story being further along in the series, there are a lot of callbacks to prior episodes, mostly concerning Dean's demon deal.

LGBTQ+ representation: Sam and Dean stay at a B&B with a lesbian couple and another gay couple is highlighted. Normally, I wouldn't mention this, but the book was written in 2008, which may have been early for representation in the media (I'll admit I haven't paid close attention to the evolution of such), and I think is still relevant today. Of course, Dean is quite straight in the novel, going after multiple women, so it fits with canon.

Included are a few references to sexual situations, e.g., a woman being leered at by her step-brothers, to a ghost who was gang-raped. It's not graphic by any means, but it's interesting to see how a novel can share more than a tv series can (or at least get past the censors).

Bobby appears in the book as Sam and Dean share the New Year with him drinking champagne out of whiskey glasses. This whole scene leads into a page's worth of trolling Ryan Seacrest. LOL!!!

Dean: "Who's the genius who thought replacing Dick Clark with Ryan Seacrest was a good idea?"

Sam: "Well, he was on American Idol."

Dean: "Dude, you are not equating being on that lame-ass Star Search wannabe show with American Bandstand, are you?"

Bone Key has fewer references to the boy's past than the previous two books, but here is a fun bit: "I don't need to make myself tall, Dean, I am tall," Sam said in that tone he always used when he gloatingly reminded Dean that, for all that Sam was the "little" brother, he had a good three inches on Dean. Sammy'd been using that tone since hitting his growth spurt at age fourteen and shooting past Dean on the height chart. Back then, of course, Sam provided those reminders approximately once every five minutes. "Hey," teenaged Sam would say, "can I borrow your jacket? Oh, wait - it's too small for me!""

In addition to the above, the book mentions John trying to put Dean in martial arts classes and it eventually failing because they moved around too much, and Dean's more of a brawler.

There's additional insight into Dean's intelligence that I find fits very well with canon after both acknowledging they know what laissez-faire means: 'When they were kids, Sam was always the book-smart one who liked studying, while Dean was more of the type to beat up the nerds, and who hated admitting to knowing anything. Smart made you an outcast, and given their hard-traveling ways, Dean had enough issues in school with that. So he adopted the jock persona of not caring about learning anything. That tendency still bled into his personality, to Sam's annoyance, to the point where Dean would profess ignorance on subjects Sam knew damn well he was knowledgeable about. Anything to not be the nerdy kid."

First, I don't believe for one second that Dean beat up nerds. Bullies, yes. Second, I can totally see the not wanting to seem smart as part of Dean's personality. He does this multiple times in the tv series. Sometimes Sam calls him on it, other times he lets him get away with it.

At one point, a demon requests that the boys work with them so they can both get rid of the 'big bad'. They are reluctant, as they should be, but then she brings up Ruby. Most of that fits with canon, but there was this part that confused me because I don't remember anything like this in the TV series: 'Ruby had also dropped some hints about Sam and Dean's mother that were leading Sam down some disturbing roads - sufficiently disturbing that he hadn't shared Ruby's revelations (and his own research) on the subject with Dean.'

If anyone remembers what that might be about, let me know!

As the end nears, there is a lot of Dean worrying about Sam, and a final showdown that basically uses the love he has for Sam as an anchor and uses that power to destroy the big bad.

Some final notes:

Funny scene: Dean has to pick up Bobby at the airport (yes, Bobby took a plane). His fear of flying comes back in full force, so much so that he seriously considers smoking. In fact, if he's going to Hell anyway, what's the harm? Luckily, budgetary reasons win out. Smoking is expensive.

Brotherly moment/Hurt Dean: I'll let this section speak for itself: 'Dean had suffered plenty of pain in his life. He'd been beaten up, beat down, shot at, stabbed, cut, electrocuted, punched, kicked, bit, thrown across more rooms than he could count, and run over by a Mack truck. If you combined all that pain, It was only a fraction of what Dean felt now.... No matter how bad it got, though, he refused to let the protection for Sam and the others falter. It didn't matter if he died in the effort - he was dead anyhow - but that sonofabitch wasn't taking Sam with him.'

Extra Bonus: For readers of my other blog: '[People] came in from the parking-lot entrance, as Megan had, past that smelly guy who was selling his poetry.'

“So, I took {youngest sister} to the paediatrician yesterday. she gained seven kilos. the doctor says she needs to slow down her eating”

“She’s fourteen.”

“I said it was probably the pork buns. I told her if she keeps eating them she’ll start looking like a pork bun.”

“She’s still growing.”

“Apparently she only grew a centimetre this time.”

“She’s only just started puberty. half that weight’s gone to her chest.”

“I know, she went up 4 cup sizes in six months”

“She’s fourteen.”

“She’s 63kg. That’s heavier than you right?”

“...”

“She’s getting a bit of a belly.”

“She’s fourteen.”

There seems to be this idea, that kids just crave being skinny just because. just because of social media, just because of airbrushed pictures in magazines, just because of media, just because of celebrities, just because, just because. And people really thought, the adults really thought, that teaching us about “Body Image” in high school was going to solve that. That telling us that those pictures were doctored, that social media influencers are fake. we know. for fuck’s sake give teenagers a bit of credit. 

You know what was always dumb? When teachers got told to sandwich body image and mental health topics in between subjects like obesity in young people. That one second you have an adult telling you that you should love your body, that it will be changing because puberty is a thing that happens, that you will have a growth spurt, that sometimes you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see and that means you brain is lying to you (that was a stupid thing to say to kids), and then you tell us, that there is a growing problem of obesity in children. That gaining weight is bad.

I can’t speak for other people’s schools, or the areas that grew up in, but my school didn’t seem to have those allegedly CRIPPLINGLY obese kids. Of course there were fat kids; kids with a bit of chub around their waist, teenage girls with cellulite, boys with stretchmarks on their bellies, kids who wobbled when they ran. We were children. We were still growing. You can’t have a growth spurt without gaining weight. You cannot start puberty without the necessary fat stores. You just can’t. but instead of telling us that, they told us there was an obesity crisis, and we looked around the room at all the other normal looking kids and wondered who? And when we couldn’t figure it out, we asked: Me?

let me tell you a story:

When I was 12 I was a particularly weight. By the time I was 14, that weight had nearly doubled.

sounds bad right? 

let me tell you a story:

When I was 12, I weighed roughly 30kg. That is roughly 10 kilos underweight. I had this trick I could do when I was about eight, where I could shove my entire hand under my ribs. People told me I was skinny, but it was never the insult those people who like to derail fat positivity posts like to think it is. Not one adult ever told me I was unhealthy. Not one adult ever told me my weight was a problem. 

By the time I was 14, that weight had nearly doubled.

For the first time in my life I was a healthy weight, and all I could think about was that my stomach wasn’t flat anymore.

I was fourteen

Now lets look at how that mentality happens okay?

2013 I got instagram. I only followed my friends; a bunch of gangly and chubby 12 and 13 year olds. I didn’t care for magazines.

You know what else happened?

We started highschool; year 7. My friend’s parents were finalising their divorce. I didn’t know then, but one of the reasons her dad cheated was because he thought his wife had “let herself go”. Said wife was in her forties, and had given birth to two kids. I don’t know what he expected.

And my friend started parroting her mother. “I’m so bloated, I’m so fat. I can’t eat that, it has too many carbs.”

Never: I’ll get fat. Always: I am fat.

She was twelve. She hadn’t even started puberty yet.

You know what else happened?

2015, my family started going through some shit. My mum got diagnosed with a new chronic illness, which the doctor said she got because she was overweight. The advice the doctor gave her was to lose weight.

And suddenly, everything I ate was a personal attack on her. “Don’t eat that, it’s full of sugar. Don’t eat that, it has too much fat. Don’t buy that, I can’t eat it. If you eat that you’ll end up looking like it. If you eat that you’ll end up like me.”

And of course, my personal favourite: “Are you suuuuuure you should eat that?”

And a year later I was diagnosed with anxiety. Shocker.

My family used to be close to the family of a friend of mine. And my mum still mentions sometimes that the two youngest (a year older and younger than my youngest sister) were always hungry. Their parents used to starve them so that wouldn’t end up fat. I’m still friends with the girl my age, and she gets regularly and violently verbally abused for her weight, because she’s fat, and her siblings are skinny enough that you can see their ribs, and we all eat the same food, what’s your excuse? As if, just because you’re the same family, with the same food, that your genetics, your body, is all the same, all functions the same. As if it didn’t matter how good her achievements were in literally anything, she was fat, and her parents both made sure they would bully her until it just stopped. As if that’s how it works.

Watching my friends, go from these awkward funny kids, to very very anxious and depressed teenagers (and we all developed anxiety and depression to a degree, which is a post for another day), watching as some of them ended up hospitalised and forced to drop out of high school for eating disorders, watch as others tried to justify compulsive puking and laxative addictions with a smile on their face, because of their parents, it’s always because of the parents, or teachers, or whichever adult meant the most to us, because someone instilled that pathological fear of watching that number on the scaled tick up and up and up. Someone warned us that gaining weight meant we failed. And we believed them because we were children.

My little sister is seventeen. She lost seven kilos this year. Her ribs stick out, and when she lies on the floor on her stomach, she gets bruises on her hip bones. She’s still growing.

My little sister is fourteen. She gained seven kilos this year. She hasn’t, yet, internalised our mum’s fatphobia; she doesn’t care, yet, what she weighs. She doesn’t care, yet, what size clothes she wears. She had a big shit eating grin the day she was told her bras were too small. She’s fourteen. This year they did the body image module in PD/H, this year she went to a doctor for her ADHD, and instead they told her she needed to watch weight. This year will be the year adults start ramping up the policing of her eating habits. She’s fourteen.

Telling us there is an obesity crisis isn’t helping. Treating obesity as a social problem instead of a biological one isn’t helping. Doctors deciding their first advice, regardless of the condition, is to loose weight, isn’t helping. People on social media promoting laxative teas isn’t helping. Celebrity endorsement of weight-loss companies isn’t helping. Commercialising weight-loss isn’t helping. All this^ has done nothing to make society, broadly speaking, less fat. It has created a lot of eating disorders and mental illnesses though.

But blaming people’s obsession with being skinny on that, takes away from the very important fact that, the most harmful factor is our parents. And when you’re a teenager, or a young adult who can’t move out yet, you cannot escape that. Because there will always be someone nagging you about your weight, about what you’re eating, when you’re at home. And when you’re not?

Well I can’t speak for everyone, but when I’m eating out, what makes me choose the “healthy” option instead of the filling one, is that little voice in the back of my head muttering;

Are you suuuuuuuuure you should be eating that?

Connections Review Part 1

Happy 2021 everyone! Well…the year’s off to a terrible start due to how bad last year was but I hope that most of 2021 will be good and not be 2020 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. But enough of that, another arc ended, another review due. Now I am quite conscious of length here and I’ll try to make these reviews a bit easier to read, it will still be split into 3 parts as there I can cover the main themes which are; Time Travel, Harems and Maverick ‘Motherfucker Hellspawn’ Storm. My initial plan was to have a quick lightening recap of everything that doesn’t fit into these categories and then review the Time Travelling and Harems but Storm became so big he needed his own part. Oh, and it should go without saying, but I will not cover the Mistletoe Asks. They are not relevant to the arc and are basically shipping fluff. No in-depth analysis required there. And with that said and done, let’s get right into it.

Its Recap time

So, as I mentioned before we get into the 3 big themes of this arc, I’ll cover really quick, and I promise it will be really quick here, anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. So firstly, we see that Kazuichi went around the Void Warehouse and helped fix their lights. Now that all of Class 77-B are aware of Void’s existence, they can help out with any problems they might have in their living quarters, which leads to a funny scene of Kazuichi getting attacked by a crow. This could be random but given what has happened with another seemly random event (more on that later) and the fact that Monocrow exists, this could be sinister foreshadowing for things yet to come. We also see Kazuichi getting ideas to build a robot with Chihiro as that’s his way of romance. Given Chihiro’s crossdressing tendencies, I wonder when the truth comes out and how confused our shark boy would be. But yeah, Kazuichi out all of the new Class 77-B members seems to have the most focus in this arc, not that I’m complaining as he was the most ‘pointless’ survivor from DR2 so him getting actual character development and focus I’m more then welcome for! There’s also Yoruko rekindling her relationship with her mentor Minako. This went better than expected then again it happened years ago, both Yoruko and Minako had time to reflect on it and both wanted to make up, but thought the other wouldn’t accept it. We also see some parallels here with Hiroko from UDG as Kizuna is revealed to be the result of a teenage pregnancy. As I mentioned in an ask, not to bog you down with personal details but teenage pregnancy is a serious problem where I live and too many people I know fucked as teens, didn’t use protection, and boom! Babies! Good thing I have a passion for Danganronpa so I DON’T get wrapped up in that kind of stuff eh? So, I completely understand Minako’s rational here, and Kizuna’s more troublesome behaviour as one of my RL friends was also the result of a teen pregnancy, and this led to her having…issues. And yeah, Kizuna shamelessly flirts with the Anons and talks about Josuke, no not THAT Josuke, simping hard for her. Naturally we have bigger problems to content with but once the weather calms down, we need to sort out Kizuna, especially now that Yoruko and Minako have made up. And that’s the two things that happened which weren’t relevant to the main themes. Now they are out of the way, time to move onto Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff. Hey, Emma made a Doctor Who joke already, so it’s okay!

Back to the Visions

Despite Time Travel being one of the main themes of this blog, not a lot of research has gone into it at the moment, so in this wind down time, it’s the perfect time for Umeko to do some experiments into time travel. Last Arc dropped the reveal that Mikako has being getting dreams of the future, and as Koroko and Umeko pull up at the Kisurugi household, we see that Mikako just had a dream of the Tragedy, which understandably horrified her. Because of this Umeko and Koroko were forced to tell Mikako, Yamato and his father the truth about the future. They omitted Kasugano and him changing the timelines as its not needed but well…when one dreams of an apocalyptic future you know is coming, there’s no sense in lying about it. Umeko then explains about the time travel and basically that since the brain surgery, Mikako’s brain has become a tachyon receiver that can pick up tachyon from different timelines, not just the one you are on. But it goes beyond being able to see the future via her dreams as if Mikako focuses, and someone touches Mikako during this time, they are hit with a vision of the future that involves them. The first vision was with Koroko and she caught a glimpse into a future much more distant then the 2017 that Hajime, Yoruko, Sora and the other 2 time travellers came from, as it seems to be from the Year 2020-2022 so pretty close to our time then. Here Koroko and Kanata, who not only went through a growth spurt like Hiyoko (Poor Hibiki, she is forever going to be the short one) and has married Nagito, are giving vaccinations to a young girl named Sayuri Hinata. Sayuri herself is very familiar to some people as during the last Arc when Akane was trying to comfort Nikei, one Anon asked about a timeline where she and Ayame had a child. This was a reference to Nextgenronpa which is a Nextgen AU on Instagram created by Mikwithnoando, if you happen to have an Instagram account, I highly recommend reading it, it’s really good! The character in question is called Sayuri Otonokoji the Ultimate Sculptor and in Nextgenronpa she’s the child of Hibiki and Iroha. Koroko looking through her medical records noticed her mother’s name is Hibiki Hinata so Hibiki obviously changed her last name, makes sense as she wants to probably be as far away from Otonokoji as possible now but no mention of the father and yes Sayuri looks a lot like Iroha. This has a few possibilities.

The first theory is that Sayuri is Hibiki and Hajime’s child, but both are very busy. Hibiki would have very likely restarted her musical career around this time and we don’t know what Hajime would be doing but he would be very busy as well, and thus not a lot of time to raise Sayuri. Now Iroha would have a very sedimentary lifestyle and given she is looking after Jataro at the moment, this would probably make Iroha one of the more experienced caretakers/mothers of the cast, so maybe Sayuri was often babysat by Iroha, and if Sayuri was spending a lot of time with Iroha at a young age, she would start to view Iroha as a second mother and start copying her behaviour and mannerisms. But that doesn’t evade the fact that Sayuri PHYSICALLY looks like Iroha as well. The second theory is something happens to Hibiki or Hajime and they are unable to reproduce but want kids. With Kyoji, making kids would not be an issue, but a surrogate mother would be required and maybe Iroha volunteered to be a surrogate. However, the big issue there is that Iroha is much younger than the Goodbye Despair cast, and as Mikan later points out legally, you need to be 21 to be eligible. Sayuri looking to be 8-10 years old means Hibiki and Hajime must have banged around now-2014 and Iroha won’t turn 21 until 2017 and Sayuri looks way older than 3-5 years old. But there is one more theory and the one I believe in. Just because Mikako can see the future, doesn’t mean it’s the timeline we are currently on, and you guys remember that awful, awful period during Oncoming Storm when Iroha was crushing on Hajime and wanted to join the Cuddle Puddle despite there being a significant age gap between him and Iroha? In our timeline, Yoruko was able to slap some sense into Hajime, he was able to see he was developing a Saviour’s complex and was able to grow and develop, and it also system shocked Iroha as well as she learnt that she needed to grow up as well. But what if that didn’t happen? I think that timeline is from one when the sense slapping didn’t happen and Iroha did wind up being part of the Cuddle Puddle, and Sayuri was the result of science from Kyoji and Iroha and Hibiki wanting kids. In addition to this we also see Kotoko in her teen years and she looks brilliant all grown up and the way she talked about ‘our mothers’ and Sayuri referring to Kotoko as a big sister, makes one believe that Mikan is successful in adopting Kotoko. Overall, while Sayuri is going to be a headache to decode, that future was nice and sweet, even if it gave Mikako mild seizures.

After Mikako recovered, Yamato wanted to see the future as well, and thus we get the second vision which is from the OG Timeline in 2014, as it shows some Class 79 tomfoolery with Haruhiko ‘testing’ Yamato’s jetpack and crashing into a tree, and Teruya being concerned for his bro. I know its 2014 because Class 79 was formed then and they didn’t bond for long before Utsuro showed up with an army of Monokumas and was like ‘Knock knock, it’s the upupupu train’ and we get the Proto Killing Game. At least Yamato gets to see his future friends for the first time. And Mikako doesn’t get that much of a headache this time so it seems that the further in time she looks, the bigger the side effects. The first vision was a decade into the future so the side effects were quite big but the second one was only a couple of years so the effects were reduced.  It remains uncertain if Mikako has to trust the person in question for the vision link to be done because as much of a force of good this seer ability is, it can also be used for evil. Overall, lots of discoveries on Mikako’s abilities and some hope that not every future out there is filled with despair and there exists a timeline where the Quantum Crew do win. Now it’s a case of seeing if that’s the timeline they are on or not.

That summarizes part 1 with the recapping of minor details and the time travelling science! It’s a longer part then I wanted but with the recap at the beginning it cannot be helped. When we come back, I’ll talk about the Harems and the events surrounding them and hopefully that would be the new length I wish to aim for because this is more of my old length. Stay tuned people! - Review Anon

Let’s Review || Chapter 1

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

This story is, as advertised, fucked up. It’s inspired by the recent influx of Dark!Steve and Dark!Tony fics and there is a lot of potentially triggering material so please read with caution. Our heroes are not heroes in this story; they’re criminals with limited to no consciences. 

There weren’t many things that Penny Parker could really rely on. Her paychecks fluctuated unfathomably every two weeks, the electricity bill was never consistent, and for some reason even when she drove her car dry it never took the same amount of gas to fill the tank. Peter’s class schedule seemed to change every time she asked about it, his after-school club activities were never on the same day, and why did she have to sign this report card but not last quarter’s, Pete? Consistency was something she’d learned not to hope for. Mostly she kept her fingers crossed that things would somehow work out to her advantage, day by day.

For the most part, it did. She’d dropped out of high school when uncle Ben died to start working, to help support aunt May and Peter. It had taken three years to get her GED between the three jobs she worked, but she managed. GED accomplished, she checked off that box on her mental list and signed up for night classes at the local community college. It was hard, but she could make it work. Then aunt May had died.

Custody of 14 year old Peter Parker had been hotly contested, as Penny had only been 21 at the time of aunt May’s death. Technically, she was an adult. She had two jobs, a steady income, an apartment, a decent credit score. Somehow, like most things in her life, it had just kind of worked out and she was granted sole custody of her younger brother. She’d dropped her night classes, picked up a third job overnight, and kept her fingers crossed that social services never asked why her “two bedroom apartment” only had one bedroom.

Semi-decent luck was the only thing that really kept her life running, and by extension Peter’s. She knew it would wear off someday, she’d been granted the lion’s share of good fortune in Queens when it came to looking after her brother and it wasn’t super fair. She just didn’t think it would end so spectacularly. The end of the luck was supposed to be a low, painful fizzle.

Instead, it was a flashbang that started with Peter acting like a cokehead. Peter had never been a particularly twitchy kid; Penny had leeched all the chaotic energy from their mother’s womb and left the intelligence behind for her kid brother. Over the course of several months though, he’d begun jumping at the drop of a hat. Penny would turn the corner into the kitchen and startle him so badly he’d have an asthma attack. If she even glanced at his phone when a notification lit up the screen he’d lose his mind, accusing her of not respecting his privacy and dart away into his room. Asking if he needed anything from the store was suddenly the Spanish Inquisition and god forbid she offer him a ride to school.

Because she’d graciously left all the IQ points for Peter, Penny had a tendency to do stupid things. Like assume Peter’s behavior was because he had gotten a girlfriend or was just going through usual teenage boy hormones that made him act like a jackass. Luckily the dumbass wasn’t actually a cokehead, considering he still blanched whenever she had weed in the house, but fuck if he wasn’t acting like a freak. It came to a head when she happened to be coming home from her second job at the same time he was getting home from one of his after-school club meetings.

She hadn’t been sure what she was seeing at first. It was definitely Peter, he’d hit a growth spurt finally and started to put on some height and muscle mass but was still a lanky little shit, and he was arguing with a man in a suit who was walking next to him. Both were being followed by a slow-moving car with blacked out windows and no front license plate. Peter’s body language was uncomfortable, arms crossed over his chest, shoulders angled away from the man and tucked in, eyes down.

When Penny called out to Peter, the man had gotten into the backseat of the black car which promptly drove away. Her brother had gone red in the face and ran up the steps to their apartment complex without waiting for her to catch up, locking himself in the bedroom and refusing to come out when she followed him in. She’d given up on being the casual guardian, the cool big sister who let him live his life. Penny had begged him to come out, to tell her what was going on. She just wanted to help, how could she help him if he wouldn’t talk to her?

It had started with simple answers, after Penny had started to cry, through the door.

Who was that man? Tony Stark.

What did he want with Peter? To offer him a job.

Why were they arguing? Because Peter rejected the offer.

He was lying. Penny knew what it sounded like, the way his voice changed. She’d been glued to his side since their parents died when she was 13 and it had only gotten worse with uncle Ben’s passing. Peter was lying through his teeth and Penny had no idea why, no idea what to do. Helplessness had settled over her shoulders like a lead blanket, her chest tightening. If Peter was willing to lie to her, then whatever was happening with Tony Stark was really, really bad. And she had no fucking idea what to do.

***

“JARVIS, bring up Peter’s file.”

The voice cut through the silence of the car like a shot, Happy glancing at the man in the backseat through the rearview mirror questioningly. Usually his boss was in a pretty good mood after having harassed the high school kid he’d become obsessed with over the last several months, but the tone of his voice said otherwise.

“Of course, sir,” the AI responded dutifully from the Stark phone, a document appearing on the screen, “anything in particular, sir?”

“Peter told me he was emancipated after his aunt’s death and that he lived alone. I think my boy’s lying to me, J,” Tony’s voice was lower than usual, irritation apparent in his stony expression.

“Straight home, boss?” Happy asked quietly, humming in response when the man in the backseat nodded.

“Records show that Peter Parker is under the guardianship of one Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, relation: sister.”

“So he did lie to me,” Tony ran a hand over his goatee, sighing through the motion in disappointment before anger overcame him again, “You mean he lives in that shithole with someone? She’s supposed to be taking care of him, that place is a fucking drug den!”

“The police have indeed responded to 23 calls involving illicit drug use in that apartment complex in the last 10 days, sir. Another 10 calls were answered in response to domestic violence, 5 calls in regards to loitering, 7 calls in—”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” he waved his hand impatiently before the AI could recite every reason his boy shouldn’t be living in such a fucking pigsty, “tell me more about Penelope.”

The name was said with enough venom that Happy’s eyebrows went up, glancing once again at his boss in the rearview mirror as he navigated through the congested New York City streets.

“Penelope Parker, 24 years of age, born in New York City, New York. Dropped out of high school at 16, accomplished a GED at 19. Currently employed at Little Hands Daycare, Starbucks Coffee, and Kroger’s. Owner of a 2001 Toyota Camry, license plate 605-CEG, rents a one-bedroom apartment in Queens for $1,200 a month, credit score of 713, 1 speeding ticket, no medical insurance—”

“Stop,” Tony grit his teeth, tilting his head from side to side to crack his neck, “a one-bedroom apartment. No medical insurance. Didn’t even graduate from fucking high school. How the hell did she get custody of my boy?”

“Custody of Peter Parker went to his closest living relative, with the stipulation that social services kept up regular visits on account of the young age of the guardian. Records show that visits kept up for roughly 3 months before ending.”

“3 fucking months, those useless fucks,” it came out as a snarl, “look up the case workers, I want their names. And their heads. On a platter. Get a lock on their wifi signal, I want to know what they’re doing at all times. I already have a tracker on Peter, hack into the GPS on Penelope’s phone and keep track of her too.”

“The phone number listed on Ms. Parker’s work forms is a prepaid burner with no GPS capabilities. I can use triangulation to pick up on her general location when she connects to cell phone towers.”

“Seriously, a burner phone? Is she a drug dealer?” Tony’s eyes shot up to meet Happy’s in the mirror, “Oh my god is my baby’s guardian a drug dealer?”

“There is no evidence of any misconduct on the part of Ms. Parker, sir,” JARVIS stated calmly, despite the edge of infuriated panic from Tony, “she has no arrest record or suspicious activity.”

“That doesn’t mean anything and you know it JARVIS,” Tony pressed his head back into the cushion behind him, squeezing his eyes shut, “I’ve got to get him out of there, sooner rather than later. Happy, once we get home, start coordinating with Rhodey for extraction plans. JARVIS, keep an eye on any activity on their WiFi network.”

“Shall I connect to the webcam on the laptop computer, sir?”

“And the camera on my baby boy’s phone,” on his own phone, Tony opened his picture gallery to swipe through the images he already had of Peter, a small smile taking over his mouth in the process, “Keep any recorded video for at least 24 hours, let me know if anything interesting happens.”

“Of course, sir.”

“Happy, let’s get everyone ready for my boy’s homecoming,” Tony stated, shifting in his seat as they pulled into the private garage beneath Stark Tower, “its coming up sooner than we anticipated.”

***

Penny had started googling Tony Stark the moment she realized Peter wasn’t going to part with anymore information. The longer she sat in front of the laptop, the more panic began to grow in her chest.

Tony Stark was a bad man. A very, very bad man who made very, very dangerous weapons and had lots of very, very important and powerful people in his back pocket. There was no real evidence, of course. None of his misdeeds could be proven in court, none of the weapons he invented could be traced to his company, none of the people he practically owned would even admit to knowing the man. He was incredibly powerful and so fucking dangerous that Penny’s teeth ached at the thought of him even being near her baby brother.

“Fuck,” she muttered dragging both hands through her dark brown hair, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

There was no reason for a man like Tony Stark to be offering Peter a job. Sure, Peter was smarter than anyone she’d ever met. The kid’s IQ had to be off the charts, he’d gotten into that insanely expensive private science school in Midtown. But there was no reason for Tony Stark to recruit a high school senior, even if he was a budding genius.

“What are you doing Pen?” Peter’s voice was raspy from crying and the sound made Penny jump, turning in her seat to look at the teenager behind her.

“I’m…,” she glanced guiltily at the laptop before sighing, “I didn’t know who Tony Stark was off the top of my head. I had to look him up.”

Peter quickly reached out and closed the internet browser before shutting the lid of the laptop, running his hand through his hair in a way rather reminiscent of his sister, “You shouldn’t google him, he’s got enough of an ego that he probably gets an alert every time his name comes up.”

Penny bit her lip, rubbing her hands together in her lap before gathering as much courage as she could and pushing out the chair at the table next to her, “we need to talk, Pete. I need you to tell me the truth about why he was talking to you, no bullshit. I can’t help you if I don’t know the situation.”

The teenager hesitated for all of 30 seconds before dropping into the chair, his expression one of dismay, “I can’t tell you anything, Penny. Its too dangerous, he could hurt you—”

“I’m not worried about me, Peter,” she cut him off, hand rising when he started to open his mouth again, “Stop. Listen. Its my job to take care of you, to keep you safe. Start from the top, how did you meet Tony Stark?”

Another hesitation, eyes darting away from her face before he answered, “on accident. He saw me on the street, I was looking for a job at one of the coffee shops near school.”

Penny held her tongue, refusing to lecture him on getting a job and derailing the current conversation, “and he approached you?”

“Yeah,” Peter rubbed a hand over the back of his head, “Asked me my name, about my uniform. Asked me if I liked science since I went to a special school. I thought it was cool, he runs a research and development laboratory. Then he started… showing up in different places.”

“You think he was in those places deliberately?” The question was a quiet prompt when Peter seemed to clam up and he nodded in response.

“It was weird, but I… I liked the attention,” it was whispered, tears gathering in his eyes as shame built in his chest, “He told me how, how smart I was and how impressed he was by me. Talked to me about science and then just… about me. He wanted to know what kinds of things I liked to do for fun, what kind of movies I liked. I kind of thought we were friends but then…”

“Its okay, Peter,” Penny reached out and grabbed both of his hands in hers carefully, tears in her eyes as well, “what happened then?”

“He started getting handsy,” he murmured, a shiver going down his spine, “at first it was just, just like him putting his hand on my back when we walked through a door. Or he’d put his arm over the back of my chair and touch my shoulder. It was weird because he was an adult but… he’s handsome, Pen. He’s really, really handsome and I was excited because he was interested in me for some reason but now I realize that it wasn’t good and it’s not good and I shouldn’t have let him and I’m so sorr—”

“Don’t say sorry, Pete,” a quiet sob escaped Penny’s mouth and she covered it with her hand, the other still clutching at his, “Don’t apologize, you have done nothing wrong. Oh God, Peter, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I noticed that you’d started acting differently but I passed it off. Oh my God, I should’ve talked to you so much sooner. I should’ve asked what was going on. How long has this been going on, Peter?”

He was quiet for so long that another sob was ripped from Penny’s lips and she shot forward, dragging her little brother into a nearly suffocating hug. Fuck, fuck how long had that piece of shit been conditioning her little brother. That fucking pedophile how long had he been stalking her little brother. Fuck the age of consent in New York, fuck the law, Peter was a baby—he was a fucking child.

“You don’t have to answer, Peter, its okay,” it was a soft whisper, her hand carding through his hair while he cried against her, “I’m going to figure something out, okay? I don’t know what yet, but I’m going to make sure that he leaves you alone. I’m going to take care of this, I’m going to take care of you.”

“You can’t, Penny,” his cries were breathy and quiet, “you can’t take care of me this time, he’ll hurt you—”

Penny couldn’t say it out loud, because Peter would lose his mind, but Penny would let Tony Stark murder her in front of an audience if it meant he’d leave Peter alone. Every promise she’d ever made, to her mother on her deathbed, to aunt May on hers, was to keep Peter safe. To make sure he had every opportunity. Peter was so smart, he had so much potential, if she could just give him the chance, if she could just get him to the point where he could make something of himself—then she would consider her life perfect. She’d die knowing she had done her job, she’d opened the gates for her brother’s success.

“I’ll figure it out Peter, one way or another.”

Juxtaposition and Derivation (english version)

“Una and Leofric should be asleep now.” Astrid’s hushed voice is barely audible as she comes around the shabby house that saw Bren grow and goes to stand near the road. “No one’s coming.”

“Don’t say their name out loud.”  Eadwulf’s low growl rings behind him. “They’re traitors. They don’t deserve a name.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to confront them before we end this, Bren?”  she asks. “For closure?” 

“The cart is over there,”  Bren says instead of anything that could be misinterpreted. “Wulf, a hand?” 

“Already on it.” 

They pull the creaking cart out of the shed and bring it to the front of the house to block the only entrance. The two boys step back, panting. At least, Bren is; physical effort never was his strong suit. 

He glances at Eadwulf looking towards his house, towards their last mission for the night. He is rubbing his hands and arms, and Bren is not sure if it’s because of the scars from Master Ikithon’s experiment a few days ago or if he remembers their… first stop of the night. It has been gruesome. 

Bren knows he must do it too, for the good of the Empire, but part of him wants to ask Eadwulf if it was difficult to watch his own flesh and blood die at his own hands. But he decides against it: there’s a trace of confusion and grief and anger in Eadwulf’s eyes, but when he notices Bren staring, it’s gone. 

“You ready?” 

Bren nods. “Yeah.”

His hand is shaking as he makes the flame appear. He closes his eyes, breathes in, breathes out. 

He is quick but methodical. First, the pile of firewood by the east wall. Second, the roof, covered in hay to make it burn quickly. Third, the windows and doors to block the exits.

The smoke starts to billow. Bren steps back, looking at his work. 

A strong hand squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. Another, more delicate, alights on his hip. 

“You made the right choice,”  Astrid says. 

“For the Empire,”  Eadwulf states. 

“For the Empire,”  he echoes. 

The flames are self-feeding now. It’s only a matter of time until—

-----

The roof is bright with flames and he hears more than he sees the first beam yield: the crack is covered by the muted roar of the flames, but the spurt of embers and burning hay it sends flying, rising towards the night sky like thousands and thousands of fireflies, captures his eyes and imagination. 

A vertigo. 

The day has been long helping his father with the crops, and every single muscle hurt, even those he didn’t realize he had. They’re a little short this month, and even though he would very much like to read a book, he knows they have to be frugal with the candles and they can’t read into the night anymore. Which explains Bren’s presence on the front step a few hours after sundown. It’s summer, fireflies’ season. A lazy and lovely and bored evening, looking up at the clear sky splashed with stars.

His mother joins him, sits beside him, and pats her laps. As the almost teenager he is, Bren hesitates, but lies down. She tangles a hand in his hair as they watch the sky in silence.  

“You see that one?”  she says pointing up. 

“The fireflies?” 

“No, silly! Farther away.” 

“The stars?” 

“That’s a planet, that one.” 

“Another place?” 

“Yeah,” she smiles. 

He hums, contemplates the possibilities. 

“And this,”  she adds mischievously, “this is the constellation of the Big Spoon.” 

“Don’t lie to me, mom. I’m too old for this…” 

“ And right next to it is the little spoon!” 

“MOM!” 

“ Not too old for that one, are you?”  she snickers before starting to hum a Zemnian lullaby, her voice, lilting but slightly off-key, drifting him to sleep. He takes her hand, presses a kiss on the back of it and closes his eyes. 

“We should move,” Astrid says. Bren blinks off the vertigo.

There’s shuffling inside the house by now. Panicked barks and yells as his parents realize the situation. Bren frowns. The hand on his shoulder squeezes. A delicate hand slips in his, and tugs. He follows without resistance. 

He looks at the house, at his own quarters upstairs now engulfed in flames. He can picture the door frame where, once a year, his father noted his growth with a small mark and where he himself once tried to do so with an already-adult and annoyed Frumpkin. That door frame must already be crushed by the beam by now. 

 There is a cat at the window, staring at him disapprovingly, calm as ever. 

Bren blinks. The cat is gone. 

Bren blinks a few more times. Was there a cat? He feels like there shouldn’t be a cat in there. He can’t remember why. 

He stops. 

He can’t remember why. 

Him. 

The screams start to pierce through his skull.

“Bren?”

Something in his mind starts to fissure.

-----

“ You asked to see me, Master Ikithon?” 

“Yes, yes I did, Bren. So, how did your little trip to Blumenthal go? Did you see your parents?”

“It went well, Master. They ah… They’re very thankful that I was offered the opportunity to serve the Empire. But ah… they seem worried about me that is.”

“You seem... troubled.”

“Do I?”

“You do. Does your family cause you worry?”

“Well, I miss my family and they miss me in kind. I haven’t been with them for Harvest Close for the third year in a row.”

“Not everyone understands what it means to offer their life for their country. But is that all that bothers you?”

He thinks about telling Trent that he had just learnt about the death of his childhood cat, but decides against it: it is not something worthy of Master Ikithon’s time.

“One night, as they thought I was asleep, I overheard them talking about me. Father thought [REDACTED] and… and Mother, she said she… she [REDACTED].”

“Those sound like very dangerous and very unpatriotic thoughts.”

“And then, they [REDACTED].”

Master Ikithon stays quiet, his gaze so severe and intense Bren had to look down. His jaundiced hands are almost immobile on the table. The silence is almost deafening against his inner turmoil, but Ikithon seems to not even notice the heaviness of the air. Bren has to break it.

“I don’t understand I—They know the Empire is keeping us safe… How could they?”

That… that doesn’t seem like something his parents could think, could say, could do…

“Often, the enemy is closer than we think,” Ikithon says. “Traitors and revolutionaries often live inside the Empire they mooch off like leeches.”

“How could I be so blind? All my life I…”

“It is dreadful news, you must feel quite ashamed.” Ikithon leans over the table towards him, ever so slightly. “What do you plan to do about this?”

Bren feels the anger flare up.

“I will do what it takes to keep the Empire safe.”

Ikithon says nothing, but the beginning of a smirk makes its way to his lips. He leans back, calm as ever. 

“You seem tired. Sleep on it. Bring me Astrid as you get out.”

“Bren?” Astrid says. “ Are you alright?” 

He looks up.

Two silhouettes pounding on the window. 

-----

“A kitten!” 

“I found him hidden in the chicken pen,” his father says. “ His mother doesn’t seem to be around.” 

“Leofric, is it really—” 

“Can we keep him?”  Bren asks.

There’s a smug look on Leofric’s face as he turns to his wife. 

“You always worry Bren will grow up lonely without a brother or a sister. I think we can afford a cat, Una.” 

“Dad, you’re the best!” 

“I love you too, little bear.” 

“They’re inside…”  he mumbles.

“Yeah. That’s the point. Remember?”

-----

The muscles locked in place. 

The high-pitch whistle in the ears, overwhelming everything else. 

The cold, the void, the suffocation.

His parents’ screams. 

It starts as a whimper, a groan. It then bellows into a howl. 

A scream he can feel passing through in his own body.

A scream that will never leave him, that he will always hear when he closes his eyes.

He opens his mouth in a yowl without hearing himself.

“Pull yourself together!”  Eadwulf orders. “ Shit! You’re gonna wake up the whole Zemni Fields!”

“If Master Ikithon learns you got cold feet…” Astrid tries to hush him.

“We can’t let them burn! They’re… I…”

“Bren!”

“Don’t touch me!” 

“Bren! Stay!”

“Mom! Dad!”

“Bren, what are you doing!”

“Wulf, catch him! He’s gonna burn if he gets there!”

“Damn shit!” 

His mother’s very unsubtle ways of asking if anyone from the capital had caught his eye yet. The red of his ears when he tried, and failed, to convince her to drop it.

“Geh mir aus dem Weg, Wulf! Ich muss—!”

His parents laughing and kissing on the front porch after they thought Bren had gone to sleep, leaving their initials in the dust like teenagers.

“Verräter sind Verräter. Werd nicht weich.” 

“Bren, sei vernünftig—” 

“Ich sagte ‘fass mich nicht an! ’” 

The fear of the blade the first time he shaved. The steady hand of his father showing him the ropes. His mother’s peck on his cheek afterward.

“Ahh!”

“Astrid! Das war’s, du gehst nirgendwo hin, Kumpel.” 

A tall and dark shadow framed by reddish light. Fixed dark blue eyes, shining cold against the flames. Almost inhuman.

The fearful smile of his mother when his father managed to scare off a bear threatening to ravage their apple tree. 

Another loud thud. The house ablaze, looming, breathing out a splash of fireflies.

The joyful tear of his stoic father when Bren was accepted at the Soltryce Academy. 

The cracking sound of Wulf’s fists and shoulders.

“ Hide this necklace, don’t tell your mother,” Father says with a giddy smile, handing him a wooden beads and tiny quartz necklace he clearly made himself for her.

Astrid’s hissing behind him. The smell of burnt flesh.

The field and the work, the sweat on his weak back. The apple tart at the end of the day. 

The pounding on the door stops.

Magic tingling at the tip of his fingers. 

“Geh mir aus dem Weg! Ich muss—!” 

“Versuch es erst gar nicht, Bren.”

The world upside down. 

The taste of cold dirt smeared on his face. 

A human warmth and weight on his back. 

Wulf’s scars itching his neck.

The dark and thick smell of rose petals mingling with the smoke.

His eyelids grow heavy.

Nothingness.

Silence. 

The end of his life as he knew it. 

The 100 Season 7 Episode 4 - Post-Liveblog Recap

Okay, so I liveblogged an episode for the first time - and it turned out to be a nice way to stay focused through the commercial breaks. Might continue to do that for the rest of the season.

But TBH I started doing it just so I could bitch about the CLEAR AND BLATANT LACK OF A SCENE WHERE SANCTUM!KRU REALIZE THAT BELLAMY AND ANOMOLY!KRU ARE MISSING. That was an important scene that the whole fandom, more or less, has been waiting for the entire time for various reasons. 

How do the characters react? Who figures out that something’s wrong first? Does Clarke sense Bellamy’s absence because they have a bond? Does Emori go looking for her space sister to comfort her other space sister only to find her missing? 

(Actually, she does. That’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Might fic later. Accounts for Emori’s complete absence while her bestie Raven is falling apart.)

Edit: here's the fic!

Anyway, back to the episode - whoever was in charge of editing really really dropped the ball. Missing realization scene, poorly ordered Raven and Clarke scenes. The music during the Dev-and-Hope montage was a nice touch but just too loud enough that I really had trouble telling what they were saying - and the pacing would have felt better with just one show of teenage!Hope before we got 20-year-old her. The cut from Orlando agreeing to train Anomaly!Kru to 5 years later was WAY too abrupt for me to get a feel for the character and relationship development that they were trying to shoehorn in in order to create conflict at the end. I got where they were going with everything, but in a I’m-reading-a-newbie-writer’s-fanfic-because-I-love-the-story-concept-and-want-to-support-them kind of way and not in a I’m-watching-a-show-made-by-experienced-professionals-and-paying-for-the-privilege-in-ad-revenue kind of way. Disappointing.

Jumping around here for a bit: I gotta say I’m loving the makeovers this season! Hair and makeup did a great job on bringing back the old Raven without losing the maturity they gave her, giving Murphy and Emori their Gucci Royalty Vibes without losing the feel of their individual styles, and making Hope look like she can’t find quite the balance between feral forest girl and innocent shut-in who can’t bear to take a life (which is accurate to her character, of course). 

And Echo! So I really, really didn’t like her makeovers in seasons 5 and especially 6, because it felt like they were trying too hard to make her look pretty in a 21st Century kind of way. She looked softer, more vulnerable, which really contradicted her character traits - but I thought that might’ve been on purpose, to show a change in her (that she did indeed allow herself to become softer and more vulnerable for her family). And her post-time-skip (not that one. Or that one. The other one. There’s a lot of those. Bah.) look feels like a return to herself; she’s beautiful but in a no-nonsense, don’t-forget-I-can-cut-your-throat kind of way. (Is this because I just really love the butch look on woman and am myself a butch woman? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.)

Side note: Where the hell did they get clippers on Penance? Those haircuts were entirely too even to have been done with scissors. I’ll buy that Gabriel and Orlando shaved their heads and their perfect round cuts were growout, but Hope and Echo? Electric clippers. Like I said I like the looks, but guys, there’s no way.

I liked that I got a better feel for Hope’s character this episode - she’s trying so hard to be like her mom and Aunty O and all the heroes they told her about when she was a child, but the truth is she’s been in one real battle, she froze, and her best and only friend died. And since her only role models were these incredibly strong people who didn’t give up, back down, hesitate, that wouldn’t be an easy thing for her to get over. (Given that Diyoza was pregnant with her for two entire seasons, I’d really like to have more time developing Hope’s character - or even the same amount of screen time but go easier on the timeskips, lol. She keeps having growth/maturity/life experience spurts so it’s hard to keep up with the development that we’re shown.

So, 5 (7? Wasn’t she 22? There’s still 2 years we missed right?) years after watching her friend die, and 5 (7?) years of blaming herself for freezing, she’s put into the same position, and she stabs some lady in the neck. Kid didn’t steal her coping mechanisms! All joking aside thought, the kid basically relived her trauma in real life - honestly her reaction was 100% valid.

I’m sure I’m supposed to be upset by Echo’s choice to kill the remaining gold-head people. But I think the only reason that’s supposed to bother me is that she promised (ish - she was real explicitly clear that she’d do what was necessary to rescue Bellamy and them were the breaks) Orlando that she wouldn’t. I think I’m supposed to care about the fractured relationship between AnomalyKru and Orlando.

I don’t. I don’t know if it’s the super-fast timeskip (it was weird enough to see the changed dynamics in SpaceKru when I deeply knew all of the characters AND we got time to see the changes play out) or the fact that I didn’t really get to know Orlando in a way that made me super sympathetic to him (I’ll get to that in a minute) or if it’s just that he was smart enough to know he was being played from the start (see Navy SEAL mom didn’t teach you how to swim and Echo again being 100% clear that killing people might still happen) and walked right in anyway. Either way, his betrayal wasn’t enough of a motivator for me as an audience member to be bothered about how things ended between him and AnomalyKru. I kind of shrugged and moved on.

More on Orlando... So The 100 has had several plotlines that center around people doing dangerous, terrible and downright ridiculous things because of their religions; see the kidnapping and conclave of freaking children killing each other to become commander, Gaia’s whole character arc + starting a new religion around Octavia/WonKru betraying that religion to go back to their old one centering on Madi, WHO IS GODDAMN TWELVE, all of Sanctum and season 6, the Sanctum conflict here in season 7, and now this goddamn Bardo Disciple shite.

Now I’m not dishing on real life religion or religious people - I happen to have one of those myself - but the plot of some-people-take-their-religion-way-too-far-drink-the-koolaid-and-hurt-people-around-them has been done and done and done on this show. And now here we have Orlando, who was a high-ranking member of his religion, drank the koolaid, cast out, still a true believer and therefore dangerous because his perspective is fundamentally skewed. I don’t know anything about this religion but that it’s militarized (they can arrest people) and think that sentencing people to 10 years of madness-inducing Geneva Convention violations and then bringing them back to their families two days later is okay. I don’t really want to know anything else, because I’m worried that the show is going to work hard on making this religion scarier than the Sanctum one (needing to one-up themselves with the big bad, of course) which just keeps making the commander religion look humane in comparison. 

Which it wasn’t. But I digress.

So Orlando was kinda’ cool, but getting in too deep with a fundamentalist who was complicit in his own abuse by said religion (and so who knows what he thought was okay to do to other people) and then it ended badly.

Cue shocked Pikachu.

Moving on. Clarke. Baby. After the harrowing experience of the radiation destroying the radio so you couldn’t say goodbye to your mom when you were supposed to go to space, then missing your time window and getting left behind on Earth, and the radio broke them too so you couldn’t even be sure your friends would leave in time until they blasted off, and then calling Bellamy every day when you knew he couldn’t hear you, and ALL OF THE FREAKING LAST SEASON WHERE YOU WERE POSSESSED AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO LET YOUR FRIENDS AND DAUGHTER KNOW BOTH THAT THAT WASN’T YOU AND THEN LATER THAT YOU WERE ALIVE and THEN your MOTHER getting possessed and you had to check to see if it was really her and it WASN’T. Clarke. 

After all that terrifying inability to communicate.

You leave Gaia behind to warn everyone of the danger. INSTEAD OF CALLING THEM ON A PIECE OF HANDY TECHNOLOGY OR TAKING A QUICK TRIP BACK YOURSELF. TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER WHERE YOU WERE GOING. YOU DON’T THINK THAT MAYBE MAKING EXTRA SURE THAT EVERYTHING GETS COMMUNICATED CLEARLY AND IMMEDIATELY MIGHT BE A PRIORITY.

And then Gaia gets kidnapped. Honestly, cool! Not ‘cause I’m rooting for Gaia to be hurt (I don’t care all that much about her tbh) but I LOVE Indra and I want her to have more screen time and development this season - and or the chance to cut people up with her sword - and kidnapping her daughter seems like a great way to facilitate that.

*Looks at list* Oh, right, Jordan. I forgot you were here. Honestly I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on with you, and since I’ve had a whole season of not connecting with you because the story was too busy focusing on external plot... I don’t see that changing any time soon buddy. Sorry.

Oh and that FrEaKiNg PrOmO! 

My garbage boy! My chaos gremlin! My excellent-at-impersonating-a-deity-even-if-it-goes-against-his-programming! What are they doing?! 

I’m torn between NO DON’T HURT HIM and YES HURT HIM BECAUSE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BRAVERY BWAHAHAHA. At least I know there’ll be Murphy and hopefully Memori content in the next episode. That’s the good shit. It’s the only thing left about this show that still feels “pure,” not that I didn’t know what sort of darkness I was signing up for when I started but just because he and Emori are sort of the last light in the darkness, and it’s nice to get a break periodically.

Liam asking his parents why Marc doesn't look like them so now they have to explain about Marc being adopted. Marc overhears and gets all sad thinking Liam wouldn't like him as a brother anymore. But, Liam is all like no, you're the best brother ever and Marc is just so moved as Liam hugs him. this family is everything

A tear or two may have slipped down my face at this idea......damn dust.

💜Looking Different💜

Liam was at that age. The age where the question poured out of the curious mouth and seemed to never stop.

He was bright, so damn bright. Those green eyes of his mother’s were just as observant as his father’s. They narrowed as looked back and forth from Marc to Dad to Mom.

“Why doesn’t he look like us?” Liam asked.

He had been on the floor, playing with some cars before he had thought about his question. His face was scrunched in confusion as he looked at his parents and his brother.

Marc felt his heart plummet into his stomach. He looked at his mom as she reached over and squeezed his hand.

“Liam, come over here and we will explain.” Levi said, patting his leg.

They had all been watching a movie together while Liam was playing. It certainly wasn’t something he had expected to pop out of Liam’s mouth. But then again, he was unusually observant for a six year old.

Marc’s features had changed as he had gotten older. The now teenager had a growth spurt that had given him a bulkier frame than Levi’s lean one. His facial structure had broadened, giving him a more hardened face than either one of their parents. His hair had even started changing, incorporating a tint of red that neither Y/N nor Levi sported.

Levi pulled Liam up onto his lap and looked over at Y/N before he began. “Well, before we had you, we had been told we would never be able to have kids. And we wanted a family so bad.”

Y/N nodded and wrapped her arm around Marc’s taller body, bringing him closer to her.

“So we decided that we wanted to give a home and family to a child that didn’t have one. I had grown up without a mom and dad and knew how bad that felt. So we went to the adoption center and we knew that when we saw Marc that he was our son. So we brought him home and made him apart of our family.” Levi explained as he looked into the little boy’s eyes very seriously.

Marc’s expression was downtrodden. He was so afraid the little boy that worshipped him would think less of him now. That he would feel like he wasn’t really his brother anymore. He had started tuning the conversation out as Liam rapid fired questions at their parents.

He hadn’t realized the conversation had stopped. Suddenly the movement caught his attention. Liam was crawling over their Mom and launched himself into Marc’s arms. “You are the BEST big brother I could ever want! Thank you for being my brother!” Liam cried as he hugged Marc fiercely.

Marc felt his eyes begin to water as he looked at his mom and dad. Their eyes were also suspiciously bright like they always got during really emotional times. His dad nodded his head at him and smiled, putting his arm around his mom and pulling her close to him.

They may not be blood, but they were brothers. Family for life.

**All other stories in this AU are labeled Modern AU -Levi Family**

Mobile MasterList

Halloween Special: Costume Mishaps

Summary: It’s the end of the Halloween/Birthday Party, and Garnet finds himself surrounded by his sisters and friend dressed up in sexy costumes. What’s bound to happen next? 

Word Count: 4,225

Life...was cruel. That was the thought of one Garnet Rose as he sat down the couch. A huge blush on his face. 

It was late in the evening as the Birthday Bash/Halloween Costume Party had finished; coming to a satisfying end within the shared House of Garnet, his sisters Ruby and Yang; along with Weiss & Blake. The four girls and lone boy resting after hosting such an amazing festive night for their friends. 

“That was actually pretty fun,” Blake said with a smile. Despite not being one for parties, she had actually enjoyed herself.

“See what I’d tell ya?” Yang smirked, as she laid back in her seat. Feeling proud at the successful party they had. 

“I suppose you were right,” Weiss said with a small smile. “At the very least, I’m just glad we aren’t left with a huge mess to clean up.”

“That’s true after party clean ups SUCKS,” Ruby whined as she slumped down on the couch next to her brother. Smiling as she leaned on his shoulder. “What about you Garnet? What’d you think of this party?” 

“H-Huh?” The teenage boy, who had been utterly silent until now. Finally registered what his twin sister had asked him. “I-It was fun,” He stuttered, “H-Happy that we all had a great time.” 

Ruby blinked, raising a brow at her twin brother’s stutter. “Huh? Garnet is everything okay?” She asked, grabbing the attention of the rest of the RWBY Girls. “Your face is kinda red.” She said, noting the hot blush staining Garnet’s cheeks. But not for the reason the cute Rose believed it to be. 

“I-I’m fine Rubes, really, I’m just probably a little lightheaded from the punch. You know how Nora tried to spike it earlier.” He lied; though technically, it wasn’t a lie. Nora really did attempt to spike the punch earlier, saying she had wanted to make the party a little more ‘Fun’. It was thanks to the efforts of Ren Pyrrha, and Jaune, that they managed to stop the girl from doing something stupid. And would undoubtedly get her shit knocked out by Yang. 

Hey, Yang loved her alcohol, make no mistake; but she drew a hard line on any alcohol being consumed by her young twin siblings. Especially on their birthday. 

Regardless, the semi-lie worked, and Garnet managed to get Ruby to buy it. Even more so as Weiss crinkled her nose at the moment. 

“Ugh, I swear, Valkyrie is that girl to use any form of celebration or parties to go absolutely nuts at.” The lovely heiress said with a huffed. “Well, if you’re not feeling well, why don’t go rest?” 

“Weiss is right Garnet,” Blake chimed in with a smile. “We’ll check up on you after we get done cleaning the house, it’s not like it’s a huge mess.”

Garnet nodded and stood up, quickly running to the room and leaving the rest of the girls behind. Yang frowning a bit with furrowed eyebrows. 

“I hope he’s alright.” The busty blonde said. 

Little did any of the ladies realize, their little evening was about to get started in the most unsuspected way. 

-X- 

“Finally!” Garnet let out a huge sigh of relief as he entered his and Ruby’s bedroom. Happy to have gotten away from his friends and sisters. “I’m not sure how much more I could’ve taken being in the same room as them.” He groaned as he trudged to his bed. 

Now some of you might be wondering to yourself, just what exactly had Garnet in such a state earlier with the girls. The answer to that was rather simple.

“I’m not sure how long I could’ve hidden this from them,” Garnet muttered, staring at the massive tent pitched in his costume.

Garnet couldn’t handle just how hot friends and family were, this evening. 

He should’ve seen it coming honestly, Halloween was Ruby and Yang’s favorite time of the year. Not only because of the sweets and parties; but also, it was because they could dress down however they wanted. And while Garnet didn’t mind at first, over the years as they all got older. Did he start to notice, and realize just how much his sisters had developed in terms of their figures. He was positive that Ruby and Yang knew about this as well, as they had started wearing costumes that would help show off what they had. 

Not to the point where it could be considered slutty. But it WOULD turn the heads of those who managed to see them. When they met and became friends with Blake and Weiss and even manage to live together under the same house when they all started college. It just added more to crimsonette’s problems and pent up frustrations. Sun and Neptune often claimed that Garnet had a sweet life, living under the roof with four hotties. The painful constant erection that Garnet sported on a daily basis, was more than happy to disagree with that statement. 

You try waking up seeing all of the roommates walking around in nothing but their panties. Not bothering with their clothes until they had something to get their day started. 

But back to the main issue; this year’s Halloween was no different in have Ruby and Yang unconsciously frustrate poor Garnet. Along with the combined efforts of Weiss and Blake as well. As stated before, they had managed to make each of their costumes show off their figures. 

Ruby had dressed up as Android 21 from Dragonball FighterZ; her reason for the costume was due to how much she and the Majin had a shared love for sweets. So that’s why she wanted to cosplay as her for the evening. The bellydancer-like outfit just served to remind Garnet of the curves, chest, and ass, he didn’t know that his sister had. While not completely on Yang’s level, it definitely caught the attention of some of the guys during the party. And with the way Ruby had been all over the place, hopped up on candy and cookies. It was nothing short of amazing, that small black tube top kept her, not so little puppies, contained. 

Speaking of Yang, her choice of costume wasn’t any better. Deciding to go with the classic icon Dark Magician Girl; Garnet wasn’t the least bit surprised that she had decided to come to the party dressed up like that. But he was CONVINCED that Yang purposely got a costume that was one size too small for her. Cause unless she went through another growth spurt that he didn’t know about. There was no way that outfit should’ve had trouble containing her jugs and keeping that ass hidden. Seriously, with how tight it looked on her, one sneeze. One good sneeze was all it took for Yang, that’s all that would be said on the matter.

Garnet let out a sigh, smiling weakly. “But at least Ruby and Yang’s outfit was better than Blake and Weiss’.” He muttered.

In hindsight, they should’ve never made that bet with Yang, and let her have control over what the blonde should choose for their costume when she had won. He had never their faces so turn so red out of anger and embarrassment when Yang showed them what they would be wearing.

For Blake, Yang had gotten her to dress up as Raynare from Highschool DxD. Anyone who knew the character or had seen that series wouldn’t need any further explanation beyond that. Just that the borderline BDSM costume did a spectacular job in not only showing off Blake’s tits trapped behind that bundle of straps that was considered the top of the outfit. But also the amazingly dubbed ‘Bellabooty’, housed in that form-fitting black panty-like bottom.

To this hour, Garnet still wasn’t sure how Yang managed to convince Blake to wear that willingly. And to be honest, he didn’t want to know; he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy seeing Blake walking around dressed that that. He knew the others did. 

And then there was Weiss. 

Truthfully, Weiss’ costume was arguably better than Blake’s. But considering it was still Yang who chose it for her, that wasn’t really saying much. Nor did that piece of knowledge offer much comfort. Regardless, Yang had Weiss dressed up as Ishtar, the Goddess from Fate Grand Order. Naturally, Weiss wasn’t happy when she had been shown her costume. And even made her discontent for it apparent; so Garnet and even Yang was surprised when she appeared at the party dressed up as the beautiful Goddess. Again, he wasn’t sure what managed to make Weiss change her mind on wearing it. But like with Blake, he wasn’t going to look the Gift Horse in its mouth.

As for him, and his choice of costume; he should’ve never considered a skin-hugging costume, like Starforce Megaman’s outfit. Especially if he knew what he would be exposed to this evening. With another sigh, he quickly snapped his head up and looked at the door, before back to his bulge. A look of contemplation on his face, as he gulped silently. 

“M-Maybe I can rub one out quickly.” He muttered, feeling himself throbbing intensely again the fabric. He knew if he left this unchecked, Ruby and the others would see him like this. And he really didn’t want the awkwardness of explaining his hard-on to the others. But before he could even get started, he found himself interrupted. 

“Garnet” Came Ruby’s voice from the other side, as the door opened. Revealing the still in costume younger twin. “I just came in to check on up you. How are you- Eh?!” 

There was a long, LONG silence as both twins stared at one another, one in pure horror, and the other in pure shock. Neither one managing to say anything as Ruby’s eyes slowly cascaded down to the massive bulge housed in her brother’s costume. A blush forming on her cheeks from the sight of it, h-had Garnet always been this big? Realizing she was staring, she quickly ripped her eyes away and scratched her cheek with an awkward laugh.

“U-Um… I-I just… came here to- to check up on you. See if you were alright.” She said, trying to look anywhere that wasn’t her brother and his big long… *Ahem* you know. “I-I see that was disturbing you, so I think I’ll just…” 

Ruby turned to leave but was stopped when she felt Garnet grab her by the shoulder. Making the girl jump a bit and look up at her older twin. Who had his eyes, completely shadowed by the bangs of his hair. Ruby shifted a bit as she had a confused look on her face. Unknowingly giving her brother a nice view of her bust. 

“U-Um… something wrong Garnet?” 

-X-

“Ruby’s certainly taking a long time isn’t she?” Blake commented. 

By the time Ruby had left to go check on the sole male of the house. The rest of the ladies just finished up cleaning the house. And were looking to end the evening with a scary movie night, they had wondered if Garnet would be willing to join. And Ruby had all but eagerly volunteered to see if he would be okay with joining them. 

It had been a good bit since she had run upstairs to check on her brother. 

“It is odd for the dolt to be taking this long,” Weiss commented, folding her arms underneath her petite breasts. “What on earth could she be doing up-”

“Wait,” Yang interrupted with a hand “Do you hear that?” 

“Huh?”

Upon hearing that question, both Weiss and Blake became silent. Their ears perking up to listen for something; in return, they were greeted to muffled sounds coming from upstairs. Sounding oddly like Ruby and Garnet’s voices. But they couldn’t figure out what was going on.

“Is… Is that Ruby and Garnet?” Blake said with perplexed narrowed eyes. “What are they doing?” 

Looking at each other, the girls left for upstairs. Wondering what was going on, or what the twins were doing. As they got closer, the noises and voices started becoming more profound. Gripping the handle, Yang opened the door, and what they were greeted too. Shocked every last one of them. 

“WHAT THE-?!” 

Weiss, Blake, and even Yang were rendered speechless as the sight before them. There was Garnet, on his bed; and underneath him, taking his massive dick was Ruby. The pants to her outfit torn around the crotch as they witnessed Garnet’s cock savagely being pumped in and out of Ruby’s tight wet folds. The fleshy slaps of Garnet’s heavy balls plapping against Ruby’s shapely ass filling the air. While one of her sizable tits freed itself from her tube top, bouncing erratically from the intense fucking she was receiving from her twin. 

“GAH! NGH! G-Garnet! W-Wait! It-It’s… too much. I-I’m gonna break!” Ruby squealed loudly, her silver eyes going crossed with pleasure as she unconsciously wrapped her arms around her twin’s neck. Her legs bouncing wildly in the air at Garnet’s sides. The speed and power behind his thrusting causing her to cum her brains out once again. Soaking not only her costume but also her brother’s bed. 

With one final thrust, Garnet came, his hips colliding with Ruby’s violently as he blasted her insides with a heavy load of his hot seed. Ruby’s pussy, milking his cock as much it could for his cum. Moaning brokenly as her womb and insides were quickly filled, causing the excess to spill out the sides with a soft splash. Her legs twitching with ecstasy. 

Yang and the others were shellshocked at what they had just witnessed. What could they after seeing Garnet and Ruby commit the sinful taboo of twincest. And so shamelessly right before their eyes. Neither Yang nor Blake could find anything to say on the matter. Their eyes still transfixed on the thick creampie oozing out of Ruby’s cunt. Weiss, on the other hand, was another story. 

“Garnet! What in God’s name are you doing?!” She yelled, her voice nearly shrill, as she had a ripe blush on her face. Whether from anger or embarrassment, no one would know. “That’s your sister! How could you do such a thing to her?!” 

Had Weiss been in a more level headed state of mind, she would’ve caught the wild look in Garnet’s eyes as he pulled out of the cock drunk Ruby. The lust-fueled teen glancing in their general direction now; Blake, however, spotted the look and tried calling to the irate Schnee. “Uh, Weiss?” She said tapping the girl’s shoulder. 

Weiss, however, ignored her friend’s warnings; too lost in her anger to really think. “Well?! Answer me, Rose! I demand to know what possessed you to do such a thing to your sister!” She watched Garnet make her way towards her. “Are you listening to me you perverted… d-dolt…?” 

Looking up at Garnet, Weiss’ anger started to dwindle down in time to see Garnet standing before her. His appearance suddenly putting her off, as his taller frame, mixed with his crazed look in his eyes. Made the costume-clad Schnee feel very small all of a sudden. Though that didn’t stop the heiress from maintaining her stern gaze at him, even if it was weakened. 

“W-Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?” She said, her voice wavering a bit under the wild gaze.  

-X-

“Holy Shit...” That was all Yang could say to the scene before her. Being the only girl left compared to the limp bodies littered all over the floor or bed inside of Garnet and Ruby’s bedroom. Weiss and Blake joining Ruby in her cock drunk high state, completely out of it as their holes leaked with Garnet’s seed. 

Weiss had been the first to go down, pulling her close and smashing his lips against hers. Garnet’s actions on the ivory-haired beauty managed to sap all of her strength away considerably. The dominance behind his kiss, acting like some sort of makeshift drug to the girl. Prompting soft moaned to leave her, a ripe blush forming on her flustered face. Before she knew it, her back was against the wall, her body pressed up against Garnet’s, the scantily designed costumed provided easy access for Garnet. Who pulled off the bottom half, tossing it aside before plunging his still hardened cock into Weiss’ core. 

A cry of pleasure and pain from the massive cock left the girl as she helplessly bounced up and down like a whore on her roommate’s dick. Her legs held up by the boy in question while her hands dug into the wall behind her. Letting loose a serious of moans and screams throughout the room that Yang and Blake didn’t even know Weiss had been capable of making. Which only grew more perverse and slutty as the cock drilling inside of the petite Heiress, brought deeper into the depths of depravity and lust. Feeling her bouncing legs from Garnet’s hold and wrapping it around the boy’s powerful waist. Her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Not even caring that her stunned friends were witnessing her in this unsightly state; her mind long since shattered from the pleasure washing throughout her entire body. 

Once Garnet brought the two of them to their limit, Weiss’ visible toes curled up tightly. Breaking her kiss with Garnet to let out another whorish scream as she and the stud pounding her reached a simultaneous climax. Her juices creaming all over the fat cock lodged inside of her while Garnet pumped a hefty load of his pearly white jizz into Weiss’ folds. The amount just as much as he unloaded into Ruby, causing a thin stream to run down the lithe girl’s thigh and drip onto the floor. Weiss going limp in Garnet’s arms as the teen pulled out of her. Letting her body slid to the floor in a twitching daze. 

That’s when Blake decided to step in, but much to Yang’s surprise, it wasn’t to stop the boy. Blake instead coaxed him, wanting him to do the same thing he had done to Ruby and Weiss, unto her. The sight of Garnet taking her two friends so aggressively like a wild animal turned her on to no end. Even causing her to pull him into a heated kiss; shuddering excited with no form of resistance as Garnet ripped parts of her skimpy costume off of her body. Managed to somehow get onto the bed, where Yang’s little brother started fucking her Doggystyle. 

Yang had to admit, hearing and seeing the normally level-headed Blake lose herself to her lust, was actually really hot. The dark-haired girl was definitely letting the faunus part of her heritage take control. Having the girl shaking her hips and ass like a woman possessed, meeting it halfway with Garnet’s powerful thrusts. Her large chest smushed against the bed; her face contorted into absolute bliss. Letting out a yelp then moan when Garnet grabbed her by her hair and yanked roughly, causing the girl to seize up and clench his did tightly. 

Soon it wasn’t long before Yang witnessed her friend reached a bone-rattling orgasm with Garnet. The boy letting out a grunt, as he creampied yet another one of his friend’s cunts. Smiling, Yang finally started walking towards Garnet, whom she noticed, was beginning to come down from his lustful frenzy. Looking a little confused and stunned at what happened. 

“Wait, what did I…?” He jumped when he felt a pair of large breasts press up against his back.

“Seems like you came down from your little sex crusade,” Yang smirked, giggling cutely whilst wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Running a finger down the fabric of Garnet’s now messy costume. “I hope after all of that, you still have some leftover for me.” She purred with a small salacious grin. 

“You… planned this…” Garnet said between labored pants. 

“Jeez Garnet,” Yang laughed. “You make it sound like some sort of sinister plot when you phrase it like that. Though...” Yang gently moved his head to make him face her. “Would you believe me if I said, Ruby and the others had a part in this, too?” 

Garnet looked at his unconscious sister and friend stunned, before back to a grinning Yang. “W-What?” 

“Who knows, it might be just the words of a playful little witch this evening.” Yang winked. “Now are you going to just sit there, or am I going to get a piece of this alpha dick tonight as well?” She said, grabbing and stroking off, the still amazingly hard member. “Seems you’re good for at least a few more- Eep!” 

Yang jumped as she was pushed flat on her back, Garnet looking at her with lust and a grin on his face. Yang could feel her heart skip a beat as her baby bro yanked off her costume’s top. Letting her massive tits pop out and bounce freely, her thighs rubbing together with excitement, her arousal already soaked clean through her panties. 

“You’re a cheeky little blonde aren’t you?” Garnet smiled. 

“O-Only for you.” Yang panted softly, feeling Garnet peel her wet panties off and tossed them aside. Spreading her legs, and using two fingers to open her lower lips. She felt him stab his cum coated member into her. Her walls slowly spreading, taking her brother in inch by thick deliciously throbbing inch. 

“H-Holy fuck!” She gasped, gripping the bedsheet underneath her as Garnet started plowing. Her tits bounced wildly, her hips slapping against lewdly, filling the air and mixing with the prominent moans already beginning to leave Yang. Her tight walls already drenched, squeezing down tight wanting to keep his cock deep inside of her as much as possible. Yang reached up and pulled Garnet close to her, smothering the boy deep inside soft bosoms. Her legs wrapping around the powerful small stud’s waist. 

Garnet groan muffled in between the valley of Yang’s chest. His pace and speed of thrusting picking up. The very tip of his shaft kissing Yang’s womb entrance, rubbing along the sweet spots in the process. 

“F-Fuck, y-yes, like that Garnet! Harder, Hard- Mmph!” Garnet silenced her with a passionate kiss, the sibling’s tongues fighting for dominance. Their bodies drawing closer to their climax impending climax, unaware of the three other girls slowly coming to. Slowly attempting to pick up their weakened bodies from either the floor or bed. 

Feeling Garnet stabbed her sweet spot once again, Yang let out a muffled squeal as her folds coiled around him like a snake. Tightening up and cumming all over her brother, her juices spraying all over. But that didn’t stop Garnet in the least, riding through the climax. He soon repositioned himself, lifting up Yang’s legs and pinned them to her sides. Effectively putting the girl in a mating press, giving everyone a nice view of her ass. The healthy skin-colored rear rippling from the impacts of Garnet’s balls slapping against it. 

“N-Ngh, Yang! I’m-” Garnet couldn’t even finish his sentence as he came. Burying his cock balls deep inside of her, piercing into her womb and flooding it with his hot creamy baby batter. Yang’s lilac eyes rolled slowly in her head, her mind becoming hazy with euphoria. Garnet remained still, his cock throbbing with each spurt as the last of his discharge was pumped into his older sister. Panting heavily at the release, slowly pulling out, his cock now starting to soften after four heavy ball draining loads. He looked down at Yang, who was panting, struggling to catch her breath. But had a satisfied smirk grace her soft lips. 

“Heh, you didn’t hold back did ya?” She commented, looking down at her oozing pussy. Even after cumming four times, her brother could still let out this much? Talk about stamina. “But don’t think we’re done just yet.” 

“Eh?” Garnet blinked before feeling Blake, Weiss, and Ruby started to rub up against him. With grins and seductive looks on their faces. 

“We can consider this your’s and Ruby’s extra special presents,” Yang smirked, rubbing her chin. “I hope you still some left in ya. Cause now that you claimed all of us; we’re not gonna stop until you successfully ‘Megabusted’ inside each and every one of us. And keep it up until you brought our HP doing to Zero. Our cute little Megaman.” She giggled with a tap on his nose for emphasis. 

Garnet blushed as he realized the situation he was now in. The redness on his face deepening as he felt Ruby and the others pressed their bodies into him more. Each one, eager to get their turn with him the crimson-haired boy first. And yet, despite him being complete terrified at what would happen next. His body couldn’t help but twitch in excitement. Happy and eager for what the rest of the Halloween night would entail. Something the girls couldn’t help but take notice too. 

“Seems we’re in agreement then.” Yang hummed with a pleasant filled smile, looking at the twitching cock. “Now then. How about we get you all comfortable, huh?” 

And for the rest of the night, loud moans and screams of pleasure would be heard coming from the Team RWBY household. As a new annual Halloween tradition would be born that night. 

this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

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...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

Weekend Away

1st Night

First attempt at weaving 33% truth, 33% faction and 33% fantasy....let me know how it works.

4 nights away with Lucie. No kids, in our beautiful secluded house overlooking the Atlantic coast….just the two of us on our annual time together to recharge and reconnect.

I picked her up from the airport and she threw her bags into the back of the car, we kissed and then we drove off into the evening. We had about a 2-hour drive in the fading light, but with the rush hour traffic dissipating and clear roads ahead it would still be light enough to go for a walk upon our arrival.

We chatted about our past week, upcoming events and just enjoyed each-others company as the scenery sped past.

It was close to 8.00 when we pulled into the driveway of our holiday home, there was till a good 90 minutes of light left. Our cleaner had done an excellent job of setting up the house. Cut flowers in all the vases, clean bedding, food supplies in the fridge and an opened bottle of Rioja and two glasses on the breakfast bar with a note “Enjoy your weekend away, Brian and I are having dinner on Sunday night, love for you to join us – no pressure”

I poured two glasses and went out to the car to collect the luggage. Throwing three bags on the bed, Lucie came up behind me and hugged me, squeezing my butt. I craned my neck back and planted a kiss on her lips.

“Let’s unpack later after our walk, I could do with stretching my legs” I said.

“Not so fast baby boy” she responded “I’m setting you some ground rules for the weekend”

She walked around to her side of the bed and opened up her biggest bag and started taking things out.

“Since this is our first weekend since you admitted your Adult Baby lifestyle to me, I think I need to make sure you’re diapered for the whole weekend” She unpacked 4 plastic lined training pants with animal and rocket prints on….”I’ve been shopping for this weekend” she said with a smile.

“From this moment on…until we leave on Tuesday morning you will be constantly in protection…I don’t want any leaks on those new trousers baby boy. So, here are the rules….

1)      Whenever we are out you will be in training pants

a.       You must ask me if you want to go to the toilet

b.       If you need to do poopies I will come and wipe your bottom

2)      If you don’t let me know you need the toilet and mess your training pants you will get a spanking when we get back here

3)      As soon as we get back to the house you will lay on the bed and ask me to check your training pants. If they are wet without permission, you will turn over stick your bum in the air and ask me to spank your naughty bottom

4)      When we are at home, you will always be diapered in these (she held up the baby blue plastic disposable diapers) for daytime and these (she held up the thick terry cloth fitted diapers) at night.

5)      Whatever diapers I put you in you will be wearing a selection of these plastic pants and you will always be in these baby socks and these onesies, nothing else.

6)      When at home, the toilet is off limits to you at all times.

7)      You are not allowed to touch your diapers at any time

8)      You have to tell me when you need to go number two and I will decide if you can use the big boy potty

9)      You will always ask permission for food and drink; you cannot help yourself

10)   You will always hold my hand when we are out together

11)   If you break any of these rules or get grumpy about them or cause me to get angry your butt will be over my knee quicker than you can blink and your diapers will be around your knees and I will spank your naughty bottom pink then red.

12)   Obey these rules and you will be rewarded with access to this (She lifted the hem of her summer dress to revel her panty-less mound) And I won’t have to tease you by playing with myself with this (out came one of her vibrators) whilst you lay next to me.

Finally she stopped taking things out of her bag and said “Agree”? with the gentlest of smiles that made me fall in love with her all over again. There was no humiliation in that smile….just love for me and my chosen lifestyle.

Tears formed in my eyes and rolled down my cheek. “Agreed” I replied

“Ah baby boy, don’t cry, let’s get you changed out of those big boy clothes and go for our walk”

She sat down on my side of the bed and undid my belt and in one swift moment my underwear and jeans were in a pile at my feet. She couldn’t resist stroking my cock with her warm hand and she gently took me into her mouth and brought my semi erection to full growth. She continued sucking for about 30 seconds then suddenly stopped just as soon as she started. Getting up from the bed she hoisted my loose-fitting t-shirt over my head. Apart from my socks I was totally naked. She bent over the bed and picked up the green dinosaur training pants and matching onesie. She held the pants open and told me to step in. She pulled them up over my cock and patted my bottom.

“Okay sweetie arms up” as she slipped the onesie over my head and helped my arms into the sleeves. Kneeling she snapped the poppers in the crotch. Picked up my jeans, discarded the “big boy pants” as she called them and asked me to step into my jeans.

Buckling the belt tight she asked what shirt I would like to wear. I chose the one I was already wearing, and she helped me into that too.

I was then gently pushed onto the bed and she knelt to put my shoes on.

“I can do those if you want” I asked

“Don’t be silly baby boy….if you can’t keep your big boy underwear dry, how can I expect you to be able to tie your own shoe laces” She replied and lovingly patted me on the knee.

I was in heaven…if I had know this level of joy when I first opened up to her..I would never have left it so long to confess in the first place.

“Okay sweetie, ready for our walk, oops, nearly forgot”….and she reached into her own packed bag and slipped on a pair of white cotton panties, “can’t have me walking around in a dress with no knickers now can we….that shore line breeze might give the wildlife something to scare them”

As she closed the door and we walked out into the dimming light, I automatically felt for her hand “Good boy…I think Mrs Hand is not going to visit Mr. Bottom much this weekend if you continue to follow my rules”

We only walked for about 45 minutes. Just enough light to guide us to the ocean. The earlier glass of red wine working its magic on both of us. You could barely hear the crinkle of plastic under my jeans and occasionally I got a gentle pat on my behind.

Walking back to the house, I felt a familiar urge in my bladder. Not sure on the house/outside rules I stopped.

Lucie looked at me, the clear night sky dimming to ever disappearing sun gently lit my confused face.

“What’s up baby boy”?

“I think I need to go to the potty” I replied, “Can I go”?

“Well, its only about 10 minutes until we are home, do you think you can wait”?

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to risk wetting myself first time out, certainly not without your permission”

“Ah that’s okay baby boy, you asked permission to go potty, so I wouldn’t spank you for it…but if you don’t want to wet your trainers I can help you out, you can pee in that bush over there”

“yes please” I said,

“Okay sweetie” She held my hand and walked over to the bush, she undid my jeans and pushed them to the floor, then I heard her unsnapping my crotch buttons and then the fresh evening air cooled my bottom and privates as my trainers also hit the floor. Lucie held my onesie to one side and said “go ahead baby boy, go wee-wee’s for me”

It felt weird and I struggled, maybe it was the cold, or just the new dynamic I wasn’t really sure, but I couldn’t pee.

Lucie shushed me and stroked my bottom. ”O sweetie, is my little boy all shy and doesn’t want to pee for his mama”?

”I don’t know, it won’t start, maybe it’s the cold air”

“Or maybe you’re being a bratty naughty boy who is being silly”?

“No honestly, I can’t do it, I must be the cold”

“Its okay baby…don’t worry, lets get you all snapped up and back to the house”

After dressing me up again, we continued to walk back to the house. The inside lights guided us in the gloom and within 10 minutes we were back inside. Once inside she said that she was going to shower and get ready for bed. I said I was going to put things away and set up the TV for Netflix

Halfway through setting up the new TV with our account info, I desperately felt the need to pee. The water, the red wine, the cold then warm environments all working a combined force on my bladder control,

I walked… actually trotted to where the on-suite was and tried the door. I could hear the shower on full blast, and she had turned on the Alexa and was singing her heart out to her favourite country songs. I tried the door in a last attempt at adulthood, but she had locked it. Either on purpose or by habit from having two teenage daughters bursting into our bathroom at home…

I knocked the door out of desperation as I felt a little spurt leak out into the front of my trainers. No reply. I knew she would be another 10 minutes in the bathroom, I hopped from foot to foot, and squeezed my cock through my trainers in a vain attempt to quell the urge to pee. It would only buy me a minute or two, I could break rule number 6, she wouldn’t know. She would be in the bathroom another 10 minutes at least.

I carefully walked to the bathroom, undid my jeans, unsnapped my poppers and pulled my trainers down to my knees, only just managing to control my stream as it forced its way into the bowl. The relief on my face was abject, the pain in my bladder subsiding…

I quickly pulled my trainers up, re-did my poppers and remembering rule number rule number 5, I folded my jeans up and walked out into the living area in just my onesie and socks.

I then went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed waiting for Lucie to come out of the bathroom.

After 10 minutes she appeared from a cloud of steam, my beautiful wife with her hair tied up, a thigh high sleep t-shirt barely covered her bum. She smiled at me and I smiled back.

“Glad to see my baby boy is ready for his checks, but didn’t you need to go to the toilet when you got back”?

I hesitated, for a millisecond, but I knew she picked up on my nervousness, “No, funny, but the need never came back sweetie”

“Okay, baby boy, I’m just going to our myself a glass of wine and I’ll be back in to get you ready for bed”

I heard her go into the kitchen and pour two glasses of wine. Then silence. Finally, after about two minutes she appeared at the bedroom door holding two glasses of wine and sporting a frown on her forehead

“Care to explain to me your last 15 minutes”

“Hmmm, set up the TV, put away some of the food, came in here to lay down”

“Is that it, it that your final answer?”

“Yes, honestly”

“Well then, I guess we better call Angie and say her services are not required any longer as the guest bathroom has not been cleaned, there is pee in the bowl and all over the toilet seat”

I secretly cursed my stupidity. I was in such a rush to get out, I forgot to clean up and flush. Damn it, damn it damn it..

My silence spoke volumes and I just did nothing but stare into the void

“Well, well, looks like Mrs. Hand will be paying a visit to Mr. Bottom after all, but first I want to remind you.

You broke the rule of not using the toilets, that’s 10 smacks on each cheek

You lied to me, that’s another 20 smacks on each bottom cheek

She then pushed her hand down the front of my trainers and felt the tiniest of damp patches where I let out the smallest of leaks trying to get into the bathroom

“And you wet your trainers without telling me, that’s another 20 smacks on each bottom cheek sweetie. I don’t think my hand will be able to survive 100 smacks on your bottom”, she walked around to the large bag on the floor, “good job I bought Mrs. Paddle along for the ride, you two are going to get well acquainted in the next 20 minutes”

“But, its not fair….you locked the door to the bathroom, I tried to open it and then I knocked, I didn’t want to wet my trainers on my first night”

“But…but…..but….nothing baby boy,

1)      You lied to me

2)      You tried to hide your naughtiness

3)      You broke the no potty rule

4)      You wet your trainers anyway

You would have been better to wet your trainers and confess to me….I might have been lenient with you if you had, I might have agreed with you and just cleaned you up and put you straight into your night time diapers…but…but…but… you didn’t did you?

She walked to the dresser and pulled out the stool, sat down and her night shirt lifted up over her beautiful tight thighs briefly releveling her panties

She crooked her finger at me. “Over here baby boy”

I shuffled over to her and as soon as I was within reach, she hauled me over her lap, adjusted me so my bottom was at the highest position possible

I felt her right leg come out from under me and clamp my legs into position.

“Sweetie, you broke my rules, you lied to me and you still wet yourself. You are a 4-year-old baby boy and I will not tolerate this behaviour.” At that I felt her fingers go into the waistband of my trainers and yank them down to my knees.

Without warning, or warming up, the paddle started it job, swish, splat, swish, splat, left cheek to right check, rhythmically and without pause. Every 5 seconds a fresh slap landed on alternating bottom cheeks. Within 30 spanks, I was breathing hard, it took another 30 spanks before I started crying, by the time she had counted to 90 I was sobbing and inhaling deeply between the next smack. She stopped at 90 and I hoped, against hope, she had mis-counted.

“Okay sweetie, I want you to stand in the corner and you can stand there for 10 minutes whilst I get everything ready for your bedtime, You’re going to get your final 10 in the diaper position then I can put you straight into your night time diapers and then we can snuggle in bed as its getting late”

I felt her legs release its grip on mine and I stood up, I went to rub the pain away from my bottom but she slapped my hands away…”No touching baby boy”

I waddled to the corner and faced the wall.

I could hear Lucie tinkering in the background, gently singing to herself.

After 10 minutes, I felt her hand on my bottom, “Okay baby boy, onto the bed for me please”

I turned around and there in front of me the bed had been transformed into a changing station. A large towel covered 3 quarters of the bed, baby powder, baby oil, baby wipes, on one side, plastic pants with jumping lambs on the cover and matching blue onesie on the other, and right down the centre my baby blue Velcro diaper with absorbent inner lay waiting for my bottom.

I shuffled over, the tears dry on my cheeks.

I lay down on the middle of the diaper, knees up.

Lucie then pulled my ankles gently together and lifted them up over my stomach, she grabbed a wet wipe and expertly and gently wiped my genitals and bottom, front to back, then another cooling wipe wiped over both of my cheeks and then again between them. My legs came down and a fresh wipe cleaned my stomach and my pubic area.

“There all clean baby boy” Within a flash, my ankles were together and up over my head.

“Now baby boy, I want you to count for me a we finish your spankies. Don’t mis-count or I’ll start again.

Slap, 1, Slap,2, Slap, 3, Slap 4, …….all the way up to 10.

“Well done, baby boy, you counted so well for me and took your spankies so well” She let go of my legs and opened them and I felt baby oil being worked into my groin and bottom, next a liberal sprinkling of baby powder all over my diaper area then the front was quickly pulled between my legs and the Velcro sides fastened tightly over my waist. I automatically lifted my legs as she reached for the plastic pants, she eased them up my legs and I instinctively lifted my bottom as they were pulled up.

Lucie pulled me up into a sitting position and gently pulled the matching onesie over my head, she kissed me gently as my head popped out and laughed. Helping me with the arms I was then lifted to my feet as she knelt down and snapped the three heavy duty poppers of my crotch.

“All done baby boy, I know its late, but mama wants to watch some tv, do you want snuggles with mama in bed? I can get you a bottle of warm chocolate milk if you want”

“Yes please mama, that would be nice” I rubbed my eyes and stifled a yawn. It had been a long day, I’d been at work since 5am, the long drive, the walking and the bedtime activities all taking it toll…on both of us.

I grabbed my stuffed elephant and lay down in the fresh sheets of the bed, lucie went into the kitchen

I She returned 1 couple of minutes later with a baby bottle full of warm chocolate milk.

“There you go sweetie, don’t gulp it all at once”

She lay down on the bed and I snuggled into her chest and stomach. Looking up at her, she held my bottle in place as she pushed it into my open mouth., with her other hand she flicked the TV on to a movie channel and selected our favourite Meg Ryan movie…French Kiss….I was indeed a spoiled happy baby boy.

I suckled on the bottle for five minutes whilst Lucie stroked my hair and gently patted the front of my diaper.

The last thing I heard was the opening credit music to the movie as I closed my eyes and fell into a long a deep sleep.

I’m not sure how long I had slept there but I woke up around 2am needing to pee. Lucie had fallen asleep and the duvet covers were only covering her legs. He night t-shirt had risen exposing her sexy bottom clad in silky white knickers. I reached out and started to stroke them.

“What’s up baby boy, did you wake up? were you not warm enough?  I tucked you into your blankies nice and tight.”

“No, I need to go to the potty”

“Ah baby boy, thank you for telling me, but you are wearing your night-time diapers and plastic pants, you can do your wee-wees in your diaper”

I lay down next to her on the bed, the plastic pants crinkling as I did so.

“Are you sure mama”?

“Yes, of course, that’s what night-time diapers are for. No need to wake me if you need to go potty at night”

She then turned over to face me, rested her hand on the front of my diaper and said “Go ahead sweetie, mama will sort it out in the morning”

With that I relaxed my bladder muscles and let a flood of pee run into the front of my diaper.

I could feel Lucie smiling at me,

The warmth flooded the front of my diaper, Lucie popped another pacifier into my mouth, and I drifted back off to sleep with Lucie’s gentle rhythmic patting of the front of my diaper. The stresses of the world dissolving with every suck of my pacifier.