#and once they knew the way to greatness
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I think that one of the reasons for my vivid interest in Vinland Saga, outside of how fucking interesting Askeladd is, is the theme of depravity and cruelty. It's not necessarily explored in the Vinland Saga itself but rather when I was writing "We were the fire" and now, when I'm writing my other thing, focused a lot on Askeladd's crew, I was forced to confront the question - how do you write such assholes without making everybody hate them and without making them lose their original character?
And the answer struck me quite suddenly as I came back to the passage from "Fire", Askeladd backstory after Gorm but before Floki. It's not that you go out of your way to be an evil fucker that kills and steals for the act itself - although there for sure are people like that, people that just enjoy hurting others. I, however, think that it's just the fact that it is so much easier to fit in and choose simpler solutions than bother with some moral path.
Especially in the context of Vinland Saga, with it's viking culture, how would you turn out if that was all you have ever known? Could you really turn out better, not give in into those impulses? Would kindness really win that easily over how you were conditioned to be and the simplicity of living like that?
Now that I think about it - Thorfinn was such a cute and happy child originally, wasn't he? And he had Thors "You have no enemies" as his father - and even with that, he so easily fell into Askeladd's lifestyle, into killing for the convenience and achieving that bloody duel with Askeladd. And Askeladd was so proud of his ancestry, he clearly treasured his mother so much so why did he end up the way he was? How could he abandon his legacy, after all this time, and become just a Danish viking that he hated so much?
Well, my perspective on that is in my monster of "We were the Fire" but those are just our main season 1 characters - what about the rest? Was the rest of Askeladd's crew truly so wicked and inhumane from the beginning that they really didn't care? Have they never hesitated, like Olgar, after he witnessed killing, could they truly be just a mindless killing machines? Why did Atli, so against betrayal, a man that was so unsuited to this lifestyle that Askeladd himself told him to never enter the battlefield again, ended up in a crew like Askeladd's? How did Torgrim, how did Ear, how did Bjorn?
I don't know, this may seem like such an obvious thing to ponder but it really hit me and, while I wanted this post to be maybe a bit more cohesive and to the point, now that I'm here I'm actually really unsure of how to put my thoughts into words. But, if you are interested in my writing, know that "The Blue of her Eyes" is getting a whole ass theme now and my other project also got a kickstart, now that I have such a clear vision.
So, yeah. Chapter 2 of "Blue of her Eyes" should actually come out soon, I am really motivated to write now.
#askeladd#vinland saga#bjorn#ear vinland saga#vinland saga torgrim#vinland saga Atli#a lot of vinland saga thoughts#kinda obvious thoughts maybe but#there is just so much wonders going through my head#how hard was it to be so idealistic for Thors#and he was so strong#how were people so much weaker#so much less suited to fighting the system#how were they supposed to upstand the moral ground?#and once they knew the way to greatness#how could they resist coming back to the killing for wealth glory and respect?#how long can you resist depravity when it's all that surrounds you?#how many are strong enough to stand nobly against such normalized curelty and violence?#would we really be the heros if we were in their place?
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do you have any alecto/anastasia hcs?
I think my biggest hc is that Anastasia wanted to be present at laying Alecto down in the tomb, but something went not as planned, cause she helped design it and it's her house, where is she
and not quite a hc but I want Alecto snatch some of Anastasia's bones before leaving the tomb
but tbh the moment I got the ask my mind completely blanked out on everything I was thinking about them, I'll add more to this post if I remember some of it
but thank you for asking!
#but it's complicated cause I don't have a lot of understanding of how canaan house and the ninth was back then#and what timeline of events looked like so i keep rotating in my head dif scenarios with dif ideas#Anasatasia could've had her own way of calming Alecto during tantrums but Alecto still could accidentally hurt her in out rage#at least Anastasia is great at mending broken bones#them hanging out in the pool is everyone's hc#but once had an idea that telling the true started with them both submerged and Alecto just unpromptedly started bluntly blurting out stuff#but in the gist of 'I'm eating pencils' and then it escalated with time#someone said before that Alecto being sorry about Samael in her nature might mean that she somehow was responsible even if not in direct wa#it could be eating her out after Samael's death and seeing how heartbroken Anastasia was#so later on the ninth she drags Anastasia into the water and reveals something that makes Anastasia realize John fucked her over#Anastasia's breaking down and after on it could lead to the vow being made#cause I'm still thinking about that one line that John says 'Anastasia knew 'at the time' that killing Samael was a necessity'#like she could've figure out something#keep rotating in my mind conversation that goes like#Alecto: are you angry with me#Anastasia: yes. but I'm not being fair
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Siegfried Farnon is based on eccentric vet Donald Sinclair, who Peter Wright worked closely with in his early career.
"You know, Donald died unexpectedly. And that morning, I remember the phone going, Jim Wight rang me to say Donald's died. Jim said, 'It's going to be a duller world without Donald Sinclair.' By gosh, it was. It has been."
#all creatures great and small#acgas 2020#the yorkshire vet#samuel west#peter wright#donald sinclair#long post#mine#this was so much fun#and what can be a bigger compliment than hearing those who knew the guy your character is based on#tell you that it's almost like being in his presence again#i dont know sam and im sure he has his faults but he once again comes across as such a genuinely kind and good person#and it makes me so happy#and yes the beard is essential for siegfried but i love that face either way#still if he ever tries to go clean shaven on the show i hope audrey hides his razor w/ as much success as she hid his tobacco#and - understandably - it was skirted on screen but if i remember correctly donald took his own life after real-life audrey died#which i could def see happen (not that i ever wanna mind you) on the show as well given how siegfried was on the verge of going to pieces#and that was 'only' when she was about to move away
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"Nobody will judge you, Mrs Hall. And if they do, so bloody what!"
#Acgas spoiler#Acgas spoilers#all creatures great and small#acgas 2020#Siegfried x Audrey#Siegfried Farnon#Audrey Hall#no one was supposed to know abou it#but once Siegfried knew he made sure she has his full support#he offers his study ! he brings her tea !#he does not judge her at all#he tries not to ask questions about it#except for that one thing#(to make sure he is not losing her!! because for a moment he was scared she was doing this because of Gerald)#(you can so see it in his face in that scene and the way he can barely find the words to ask his question)#god this took forever
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I'm comparing xuanji and tantai jin right now in how they handle their "innocence" about romance (just cause they don't feel emotion generally)
Xuanji: completely oblivious, WOULD grab sifengs boner while dropping in on him naked in a bath and DOES NOT care. He's her great friend! And he's fun to make blush! Will also be the first to kiss HIM. Again, she's not really sure why or that it means EONS to sifeng emotionally. But she is glad to be with her friend and it seems fun uvu
(Xuanji later will go onto top her babe but that's later, I'm talking the early parts when she isn't feeling things much)
Tantai jin: I am SCANDALIZED you would touch me. I know you're my WIFE but as my wife you tried to sleep with me to lock me into marriage and I was disgusted by how fucked up and cruel you were so I put you to sleep. Do NOT strip me, don't even look me up and down. I don't have lust or any particular romantic feelings for you, it's not like I'm abashed of sex as I AM an adult who got married and know the fucked up palace shit of behind closed doors. BUT I am repulsed by the idea of being near you, especially naked and sharing that experience with YOU agh, so I Am going to continously insist on Being chaste. Maybe one day I'll want to rail someone, like you said when I feel "love" for someone or whatever maybe... but lmao not your awful ass
Also tantai jin, seeing a demon kiss qingyu: huh... evil powers cool I should eat her. It'd be nice if I could eat humans for power too. Huh... that kind of looks enjoyable? Maybe I'll try making out with someone I don't dislike. (Thinks about his wife who feeds him and would die for him, but there's baggage so he just moves on)
A few eps later: actually... like... would it be Too Fucked up? If I just... DID make out with my evil Wife who wants to kill me? I mean... a kiss is a kiss if it feels nice does it matter if we kill each other later? What if she sat on my lap! What if... I was held in her arms... <3 (no! Focus! She'll betray me! We can only have sex if she's my prisoner or something so she doesn't stab me or sell me out while we're naked!)
#love and redemption#till the end of the moon#tteotm#lb#xuanji#tantai jin#i just. 1 I LOVE how xuanji is actually the forward one unashamed and unworried about physical stuff#while sifeng is the blushing virgin concerned with propriety and feelings and STEPS etc. but love is SERIOUS in his sect#2 i LOVE how tantai jin has same vague Starting Setting as xuanji#but tantai jin IS socially aware of sex and romance enough to know he does NOT want#his evil bitch of a wife who whips him to ever try getting intimate with him#xuanji is both more innocent and naive in that she doesnt KNOW what it means#but also way more like I WOULD BE UP FOR RIDING SIFENG. SOUNDS FUN#and sifengs like NO babe STOP you shpuldnt unless youre in love and married!!! NO DONT RIDE HIM INSTEAD DONT#JUST APPROACH STRANGERS YOU DONT KNOW IF THEYRE NIDE#like if xuanji knew what sex was and had fun doing it shed have done it all the time asap#and she DID do it once she knew what it was lol#meanwhile tantai jin knows what it is but his life is so fucked up he cant imagine it being a#positive experience#(great i made myself sad :c)#anyway i love xuanji
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Half-drow Tav, seeing Astarian: classic good looks, white hair, red eyes. let me guess: you're half-drow?
Astarian: you could not be more wrong, but im delighted you were thinking of me
#astarian#tav#bg3 tav#tavily#she was so off base for the first couple days they knew each other#poor Tavily thought he was Like Her and she was hoping she could find some solidarity#she grew up in one of the better Drow Houses but like she's not just Half Drow she's also Half Elf#and the Drow *hate* Elves so like she's an abomination to them#only reason she wasn't killed when younger was that she is uncannily good with a blade#so she see Astarian and is like “oh you might be like me!!!”#poor sweet summer child no he is not#she's not fazed by the vampire thing as much as he thought she would be#ironically they do find solidarity together in that “their lives fucking sucked pre-tadpole”#as they learn each other's backstories they'll go to the ends of hte earth to protect each other#once Cazador is dead Tavily cuts off his head and heart to burn Just In Case b/c magic is weird#Astarian helps her break into her drow family's house in the underdark to assassinate her great-aunt#theyre both vicious fighters but in 2 different ways#Astarian believes in overkill and enjoying the slaughter and making it personal if thats an option#tavily is brutal and efficient and doesn't linger over bodies once theyre down
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Something rlly funny about my coworker calling me fucked up for my thoughts on a fictional relationship like lmao buddy u have no idea
#ink thinks#IT WASN'T IN A MEAN WAY it was funny but also like#no offense to him at all he's just definitely the type who rlly likes the vanilla cute relationships#so he was talking abt one he didn't like bc at some point one character kinda tortured the other#and i was like 'oh thats just how enemies to lovers goes' and he was like 'UR FUCKED UP!!' LMAOOOO#i don't even Go to the particular thing we were discussing but knew enough to Get It yknow what i mean#once again no offense was made to either of us it was just rlly funny to me#him: yeah idk i just think that's not great in a depiction of characters who eventually get together#me: is it really enemies to lovers if it isn't a little fucked up 🥰#him: BRO
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Chris Harms at Gefragt – Gejagt | The Chase
A Tragedy in 3 Acts
#chris harms#lord of the lost#lotl#queue are not the bug queue are the patch#sorry for the gif spam everyone but this was so hard to choose from. way too many good moments.#like when he knew the answer to the first question and said it out loud before the chaser had even picked her answer#or like twenty of his extremely displeased facial expressions. like at all the times the host alexander bommes called him 'Quiz Harms'.#biggest respect to bommes tho. have never seen someone be so immune to chris's charm. or maybe that cold shoulder was just him flirting bac#this is all light-hearted of course. chris did a great job. but he was also too fun to watch#some of these are actual quotes btw ... i let you guess which ones ;)#if anyone wants to see the whole show: the link is in the description. chris is there between 52:12 and 1:21:12#(the moment the tumblr tags work properly for once will be the happiest day of my life)
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bsd killing potentially emotional scenes by pulling the “I knew everything all along and it was all according to plan” is the equivalent of marvel movies killing sincere moments with quips and one-liners.
#They both kill the sincerity of the moment#Ok so we’re not exploring Dazai being vulnerable or needing to struggle in a challenging situation#So we’re not exploring Chuuya’s relationship with his humanity and autonomy#“I knew everything all along” shut up and be an idiot for once!!#Dazai’s intelligence is great. don’t get me wrong I love when characters do smart things.#but this isn’t smart or clever.#this is a way for the anime’s writers to not have to figure out how to solve this#Which is kinda funny considering every bsd enjoyer on this site has come up with 80 ways Dazai could survive#Bsd#bungou stray dogs
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“Hearts on Fire,” Moon Knight: City of the Dead (Vol. 1/2023), #2.
Writer: David Pepose; Penciler: Marcelo Ferreira; Inker: Jay Leisten; Colorer: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight: City of the Dead#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Scarlet Scarab#Layla el-Faouly#after all one of my favorite themes of Moon Knight comics (and some of my other comics) is people not really living until after they’ve die#died at least once that is#and what a classically Marc way to downplay all the great moral and ethical development that went down before he ‘caught the wrong bullet’#but since Layla brings it up makes me wonder exactly how much she knew about the system#or perhaps she only ever got ahold of some old medical records or his discharge papers????
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About the ending of The Troubadours of Roc-a-Pic...
I know Maximin's dad wanted to give him a reward for resisting his anger and Guillemette a reward for saving his ass, but after reading this one again for the first time since high school, I initially refused to believe that they just got married right then and there. They hardly interacted afaik. Idk it just seems kinda rushed at the time.
But eh, arranged marriages weren't unheard of in the middle ages anyway. Even if neither of them like each other in that way, at least they'll have heirs. I'm betting they were both like "Aw nice, I get to live with my best friend!"
Can't really see the marriage being very romantically fulfilling for them tho unless one or both of them are somewhere on the ace spectrum. But I guess after thinking about it, I can kinda see how it would be likely to happen considering the time period. Duke gets his heir back, and now there will be ANOTHER future heir to the dukedom. Guess it's a win win as far as inheritance is concerned ig. :/
#johan et pirlouit#johan and peewit#spoilers#ig#it's a french comic from the 90s man#bande dessinée#for the record i headcanon maximin as gay and guillemette as a lesbian#and sadly homophobia was quite common in the medieval era#so i guess i shouldn't be too surprised the dad would marry his son off to some rando he's an acquaintance with lol#i'm thinking in a modern au they might've dated once early in college when they were still in the closet#then they found out they weren't into each other in that way but guillemette didn't know why#some years later guillemette came out as a lesbian#and that gave maximin the courage to come out as gay#maximin knew he liked men since at least freshman year in high school and guillemette is a late bloomer sapphic who was stuck in comphet#and to be fair my reading comprehension in french is still not that great#but better than it was back in high school at least#so i may get SOME details a tad wrong?
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bro is inquisitive
#thinking of the possibilities of how it could be worse it's funny how you start to get addicted to thinking like a danmei writer#you are like anddd what if this person was (insert a guy who coughed once in chapter 15) anyways#i managed to not get many spoilers bc i hate it but i have always suspected that shi mei had a thing for cwn firstly bc i once saw a ship#tag and was like ?? well that is not uncommon as people ship shrek with chanyeol (im people) but secondly after that scene where mo ran#pinky interrogated him i was sooo 100% sure of it. but then there was nothing much so i let it go. the one mini spoiler i saw was#the enemy on pinterest who replied to a pic of a character saying it was shi mei/other name (didn't look at it) so it was why i knew#he was classically someone else. but even without that his ass was raising suspicion just for the way how blank he was#and i knew it was intentional so i kept thinking who he could be and my guess was xu shuanglin (rest in pieces poor guy)#bc i thought that both of them had the same spiritual essence or something. also the guy in the motel at the beginning who also had water#essense could only be either of them. but this is not the point bc then i was thinking that shi mei was simultaneously mo nian#bc why would he have the reason to be annoyed with mo ran to that extent. and also bc i knew there was a fire and hua binance has face burn#but mo ran chopped his head off bless his souls and good for him so how else can that be worse#he could also be that child of nangong yan who had his mother die bc of mo ran and mom he would also have a reason to try and compare#himself to mo ran in every way and hate him but why would he need to store nangong blood for mount jiao is he is nangong himself#but that would be great for disgusting points bc he would be mo ran's half brother doing all that ??#im just taking a break from throwing up bc of his ass trying to assault cwn every chance he gets and idk anything yet#so it would be interesting to keep guessing his motives as i do not get it yet but also (procceed to throw up)#also his interactions with corpse taxian ?? god tier. taxian is in the middle of diss battle drops his mic after every sentence#the crowd (me) cheers. moving on but i really enjoy insane plot twists i wish i remembered well what i was thinking while reading tgcf#the widely known thing is that i didn't even consider that fu yao and nan feng were fengqing it's my favorite thing bc i wholeheartedly#believed the little guys just loved their generals way too much#00
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛
#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by#i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time#i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime#i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone#dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that#but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this#an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill#he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week#maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him#but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out#I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die#i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them#mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here#and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one#idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out#but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for#the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids#anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you#mr. bees speaks
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it should be a crime to play that "so this is christmas" song Anywhere, especially super early in the morning in an airport where everyone is practically dead on their feet. one of the worst songs (not even christmas songs, just songs In General) ever made. like, way to bring the mood down. thanks for killing the vibe! unrelated, but i hate john lennon so much it's unreal.
#there are christmas songs that i'm neutral about. not great not terrible#but there are some christmas songs that i actively Hate. LOATHE even#other christmas songs that i consider the musical equivalent of nails on a chalkboard include: 'wonderful christmastime'#(no surprise it's another beatle)#'do they know it's christmas?'#('and there won't be snow in africa this christmas' i don't think they knew anything about africa's geography actually! condescending ass)#'happy birthday jesus'#(it just sucks!)#literally any cover of mariah carey's 'all i want for christmas is you'#(it's the way they can't even hit the final note so they just. drop an octave instead? and now you've ruined the vibe)#'please come home for christmas'#(it's a downer! i know it's a blues song but catching it btwn like jingle bell rock and sleigh ride is jarring every time!)#dishonorable mention to 'christmas shoes'#(but it's not high on the list bc unlike the others i very rarely hear it on the radio. just random christmas stores once in a blue moon)#rambles
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I find it very funny that I enjoy reading Corpse Knight Gunther yet stopped reading a romance because the couple was slightly mean to each other and their friends.
Maybe it's all about my expectations? Promise a sweet kind relationship and give subtle cruelty that's never addressed and I am out. Promise grimdark and have the character be just slightly less of a relentless asshole twenty chapters in? Hell yeah I am cheering for them.
Brains are weird man.
#webtoons#corpse knight gunther is great hoghly recommend#is quite dark (tw for violence mainly) but due to the core friendship slowly developing#and many valient side characters given full humanity and personhood even if just for a brief moment#before being taken out#somehow bolsters and reassures me in a way that things claiming to be sweet but are shallow and cruel (even just mildly) don't#just#bizarre really#brain why are you like this#I think it might be because in Corpse Knight the callousness is why the world is called grimdark#it's acknowledged you're allowed to grieve for it#but in that romance book it was subtle and I knew it would never be adressed#no one in the comments even noticed#personal log#oh hey look brain is braining again#aha words are mine to comprehend once more#I can play and revel and delight in language I have missed this sort of clarity I hope I get to hold onto it for a while#mild analysis mostly rambling
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