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thegoldencontracts · 3 days

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What Do You Want?

Summary: You try to approach Azul with an offer. His response is- odd, to say the least.

Notes: My heart wants fluff to make up for the angst yesterday... im sorry T_T

The moment you'd first seen Azul, you thought he was pretty. Then, you started noticing other little cool things about him. And before you knew it, you had a crush.

"You're- so stupid!" Ace said with a laugh. "You actually think Azul Ashengrotto would ever like anyone? Best outcome is, he tries to scam you but you barely manage to win."

"I've got a point-card!" You said cheerily. "And I've made a rough outline of what I want my contract to look like."

The 'outline' was only one sentence, but Ace didn't need to know that.

At that moment, though, Ace's eyes widened.

"You're actually gonna do it?" He said, the grin fading from his face.

"Yeah," you said. You were going to try and make a contract with him, see what happened. Maybe it wouldn't work out. But hey, you'd never know if you didn't try!

Besides, you had a plan. And that plan was what brought you to the VIP room, a golden point card in hand.

"Ah, what a pleasant surprise it is to see you here!" Azul said with a salesman's grin that somehow still looked cute. "I was under the impression you couldn't afford point-cards."

You laughed.

"It's lovely what happens when you make people compensate you for your labor," you said. And it was true. Telling people you'd do something for a free meal at the Lounge got you point cards and food witthout any complaints. For some reason, people were more willing to do that than give you the money straight-up, even if the expensive meals usually meant they'd have to pay more. Whatever.

"Oh," Azul said, before quickly changing the topic. "So what exactly is your desire?"

You smirked.

"Azul," you said. "Considering the ranking of the Golden card, that means you have to accept any contract I propose, so long as it doesn't pose direct harm to your mental or physical wellbeing in some way, shape, or form, correct?"

Azul's brows furrowed in confusion.

"Correct, however, you're forgetting-"

"The impact limit, yes," you said. "If the wish in question requires maiming, killing, or mentally scarring any individual, whether or not you agree to grant it becomes a decision entirely at your discretion."

At this point, Azul was looking at you like you'd grown two heads.

"Your point is...?" He asked.

"I won't have to make any other payment for my wish then, correct?" You said. You knew how these exchanges worked, and you did not want to get scammed.

Azul bit his lip.

"Fine, fine, you 'win', I suppose. Just- tell me what exactly it is you desire," he said.

You smiled, handing him a piece of paper with the draft of your contract on it. Azul's eyes widened in shock at its contents.

'Be my friend!' it said.

"Sooooo, what do you think?" You asked.

Azul shot you a glare. Harsh.

"What do you want?"

"I already told you- well, wrote to you, I guess, but-"

"No," Azul said, voice dangerously level. "What do you truly want?"

"Be my friend!" You said, flashing him a thumbs up. But Azul was still angry. Did he just hate you or something?

"I don't appreciate such juvenile attempts at mockery," he said. "If you have no true wish to make, then I shall have you escorted out."

You sighed. Seriously, this was getting annoying. Did he want to avoid you that badly?

"Look," you said. "I already laid it all out - you should try being my friend! And if you don't like it, then you stop! Simple as that, right?"

Azul scoffed.

"That's preposterous," he said. "No one would ever want such a thing-"

"Well, I want it," you said, before sighing. "Look, is it really that big of a deal?"

At that, Azul seemed to malfunction, like he couldn't possibly comprehend what you were saying. That was weird. Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't he going to try and scam you or something?

At long last, Azul shook away the red dusting his cheeks, handing you a pamphlet.

"Take this for now," he said. It was a study guide for Alchemy. "And keep the point card. I'll continue my inquiry tomorrow during lunch, so prepare yourself. Now then, leave."

"Great! See you tomorrow lunch then, Azul."

You took the study guide and headed for the exit. The study guide was pretty good, actually. And there was that little chibi doodle with hearts around it - you didn't know where it came from, but it kind of reminded you of yourself!

So, hey, it seemed like things were going pretty well.

Meanwhile, Azul was in a panic.

"The Prefect's caught on, I'm certain of it!" He said to Floyd and Jade, furiously flipping through his book of contingency plans for any type of social situation gone wrong. "Why else would such an odd request be made of me?"

Floyd rolled his eyes.

"Cause Shrimpy wanted to be your friend?" He said.

"No one would ever desire such a thing!" Azul said. "The Prefect's found out about that foolish little crush of mine, and decided to make a fool out of me. There's no other explanation!"

It was a sensible explanation, wasn't it? Common, too. It had happened to Azul all the time back then. He simply had to make sure he didn't slip, that he established consequences for all those who attempted to mess with him now.

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of Jade's laughter.

"What seems to be the matter, Jade? Do enlighten me," Azul asked dryly.

"You made an error in your panicked frenzy with the Prefect, that's all," Jade said. "The study guide you gave was the one with the doodles."

Azul felt his mouth go dry.

"W-What?"

"The one filled with countless doodles of your little crush, surrounded by hearts."

O-Of all the study guides, why that one?

Seven, how he wished to crawl into an octopus pot right now. But for now, all he could settle for was burying his face in his hands, left alone with his thoughts as he tuned Jade and Floyd out entirely.

He hadn't believed it, but- what if you were being sincere? What if you truly did want to grow closer to him? Yes, it was true that such a thing had never occurred in the past, meaning an analysis of past trends would seem such a thing impossible, and this sort of trick had been played on him countless times before but-

You seemed oddly sincere about it. And, frankly, he wanted you to be.

Azul couldn't help but sigh. Though it would likely cause him problems later, for now, he couldn't help but let himself hope.

#azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland #twst #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x you #twst x reader #twst azul

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hunieday · 13 hours

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Momo i-HAKE! Rabbit TV - Part 3: Gentle Closeness

Episode 1 - Episode 2 - Episode 3

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Drum beats, don,don, don! KA-!

Momo: Sei!

Town People: Haa!

Nanase Riku & Yaotome Gaku: Sei!!

Town People: Haaaa...!!!

Momo: Ahaha! You’re all perfect! Thanks for joining in with the shout!

Nanase Riku: Next, let's raise our fists together!

Yaotome Gaku: Come on, keep it up...! You guys can shout louder...!

Town People: Waaaah...!!

Elderly Board Member: Haha, it's the first time we’re shouting along with the drums. It's so much fun.

High School Boy: It's like shouting at a live concert!

Female Office Worker: ...No way!? A backflip…!?

Little Boy: Wow...! Amazing...!!

Middle-Aged Man: What incredible power... I've seen a lot of performances, but this is completely new!

Don, don, don, kakakaka...!!!

Town People: Waaaaah...!!!

Momo: Huff, huff…Thank you everyone…!!!

Momo: Our Japanese drum performance was a bit different from usual... How was it?

Town People: Waaaah...!

Middle-Aged Man: It was great!!

Momo: Ahaha! I'm glad...!

Yaotome Gaku: We consulted with the drums teacher and the youth group to add our own flair!

Nanase Riku: We wanted to bring a unique performance since we were invited to perform on this special day, it’s something only we as idols could offer. So we hope you enjoyed it!

Momo: The town's drum performance is so cool! We made sure to respect the tradition while adding our own touch!

Momo: This performance is for all the people who have cherished the Autumn Leaves Festival throughout generations...!

Town People: Waaaah...!

Momo: Thank you so much for letting us participate in the Autumn Leaves Festival...! We'll be performing with the youth group next! Let's keep the excitement going until the very end!!

---

Yuki: Momo of Re:vale, you're the best.

Yuki: I felt not just the quality of your performance, but the respect you showed for the Autumn Leaves Festival.

Yuki: The townspeople must have been delighted to have their beloved festival cherished by you.

Momo: Ehehe! Thanks! I feel like I could grow wings anytime you praise me, Yuki...!

Momo: Maybe I should open a bottle in my secret wine stash to celebrate? The delivery should arrive later.

Yuki: Sounds good. Let's do it.

Momo: Yippee!

Yuki: By the way, I haven’t been to your place in a while, it’s properly tidy.

Momo: I cleaned like my life depended on it! You said you were coming over out of nowhere!

Yuki: I felt like it. It’s been a while since we both had the day off.

Momo: I stuffed all the laundry and luggage into the closet... It was hell.

Yuki: ...Is that considered cleaning? Maybe I should visit more often if it gives you a reason to tidy up.

Momo: Ugh... I'm torn between being happy you’re here and annoyed at having to clean...

Yuki: Half and half?

Momo: ...70/30.

Yuki: And the happiness is 70, right?

Momo: ...I'll just keep visiting your place from now on!

Yuki: I knew it.

Momo: W-Wait! Having Yuki over is extremely special to me...!

Yuki: Hmm. So I'm like your personal Autumn Leaves Festival?

Yuki: Once a year is enough?

Momo: Ahhh, even sulky Yuki is handsome...! ...I mean!

Momo: Any time I spend with you is always special to me!

Yuki: Then that’s fine by me ...Hehe. Momo, you're really good at making me happy.

Momo: That's my number one best skill!

Yuki: You're good at making other people happy as well. You understand what people value and show subtle consideration for them.

Yuki: I thought it was amazing to witness in the Aihake VTR too.

Momo: ...Huh? What’s this about?

Yuki: During the drums practice. You noticed our juniors were overworking themselves and took them outside for a break because you were concerned, right?

Momo: ...No, no! I just wanted to take a little break for myself.

Yuki: But it must’ve also been refreshing for Riku and Gaku themselves. I’m pretty sure they noticed how much you cared for them.

Momo: Ahaha... Yuki sees right through me. I doubt those two noticed, though—

Ding!

Momo: ...Speak of the devil. I got a message!

Yuki: From Riku and Gaku?

Momo: Yeah. We made a group chat for the three of us during Aihake.

Momo: ...Just as you said… They said "Thank you for your consideration!”...

Yuki: Hehe. See?

Momo: Ugh! That’s embarrassing...! I thought I was subtle and cool, but our juniors noticed…!

Yuki: It's not embarrassing, it's cool.

Momo: You think so...?

Yuki: You’re cool even when you’re rough.

Momo: Yuki...!

Ding-dong

Momo: Ah! Delivery's here! I'll go get it.

Momo: I ordered a ton of organic vegetable dishes! Eat as much as you like!

Yuki: You think I can eat this much?

Momo: It's fine, it’s fine! Let's have an especially fun time tonight!

End of Episode 3.

#idolish7 #i7 #ainana #idolish7 translation #sunohara momose #momo re:vale #nanase riku #yaotome gaku #i-hake #rabbitv

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ditizygirl · 2 days

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Editblr is a breeding ground for idolatry, ableism, racism and so much more all for a community about putting images together.

I've been here for only a year but I feel like I've seen it all, and the excuses oh my god the excuses. You are all 15-19, you should not have the mental capacity of a 8 year old. Your common sense is non existent and almost all of you guys are so fucking stupid it's pissing me off more than any god can understand. You are old enough to have logical thinking skills, you may have a disorder and it may be a reason but not an excuse.

Alot of you have forgotten the saying "Think Before You Talk" and I've sure as hell done alot of thinking. This is my deep dive into editblr. I think if you consider yourself a good person you should read under cut.

Ableism

Typing quirks are a way of personal expression but why do so much of you hate to add plain text. I can understand to extent because plain text hates my head because of how long it can be but I'm not gonna act like a little bitch about it. I'm gonna add my typing quirk or even fonts itself to it.

I'm gonna ask someone to help me, or to do it for me. Stopping making excuses for ableism. Alongside with the typing quirks, your psds are ugly and eyestrainy. Psds also fall under racism because I have no idea why you guys are ignoring the fact some make dark skin characters lighter but in the case of ableism most of them are really bright and makes it hard to see.

Orange and brown? Green and yellow? Blue and brown? Why are you putting colours that can be so much eyesore together? And won't even tag as eyestrain and when someone does ask you only do it for one post.

Romanticization

This one is weird as fuck and I see no one mentioning it. Editblr highkey has a ddlg problem, this "little girl" aesthetic you guys have going on borderlines ddlg alot and its icky. The baby talk typing quirk is disgusting, stop it.

I'm not one to judge how someone copes with their trauma but what I DO judge is how you act when majority says its uncomfortable. Now this section I'm a bit unsure how to phrase it, gotta love dyslexia, but that isn't going to stop me.

There's alot of very uncomfortable romanticization of stalking which I've seen so much of alongside abusive relationships and the justification of these things.

Racism

Really can't escape this one unfortunately. Many of you are like kpop idols, you're too dyslexic towards the difference between appropriation and appreciation. Incase you forgot let me remind you.

You can not gift japanese names. Gifting names is a native practice therefore you can only gift native names. Also I've noticed you weirdos befriending people just to use their cultural names. I can't even say it east asian fetishization because its only Japanese.

Also for the love of God can you guys stop saying nonmem and non women especially when referring to sexualities. It's not hard to simply say "queer attraction to women" and "queer attraction to men".

Coming back to the "gifting" names thing, I think it's interesting how all of you conveniently have a Japanese friend who "gifted" you the name of a cute pink anime girl. Maybe I'll do a post later on how much of a bad liar you guys are.

Closed symbols is also another big problem you all have. No matter how much times you're told you can't use something you always cry "but my friend from xyz culture said it was ok!" One person can't speak for a whole culture. You're nothing but a coloinzer in disguise hiding behind the idea of aesthetic. If you want to know if a symbol is closed just use this site.

Goddess Personas

Yea this one is getting a whole section of its own. Like any people I am uncomfortable with goddess personas, especially being someone with biblical sources. Now the idea that a teenager on the internet is making people call them a goddess is strange isn't it?

In my opinion, they're all annoying, copy and paste, and I think not a lot of people talk about how the really bad ones get. You all love to indulge them, make them think they have power over them. You put them on a pedestal and praise them and get surprised when it all goes to their head?

Stop giving 14 years old power, stop indulging in their habits and letting it go their head. Forcing people to refer to you as their goddess? Their Lord and saviour? Their idol? Someone they must listen to? It creates a power inbalance which always leads to the weirdest of manipulation. Also all the engagekiss copiers are so obvious why would you want to copy the identity of a groomer? It says alot of about yourself if that's what you think is ideal.

Callout Posts

Now, personally, I believe that the only reason a callout post happens is because someone was affected, does it not? Very rarely would a callout post would be a fake one, especially if someone has more then one. If you defend someone who has more than one call out post that's on you and you're gonna end up making one some day I can genuine you that. People don't make them for no reason.

This is all I have to say for now. I hope you guys really consider what I have written here, or not, considering the fact you guys have shown multiple times you lack reading comprehension

#rentry #editblr

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isolophilian · 6 months

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me @ Disney: make Smelly Gabe a sculpture or Mickey fucking gets it

#funny because Mickey and Minnie will soon be public domain #i really hate the way gabe just. sounds impressed when percy says he got expelled for assaulting a classmate #i've rewatched too many times and every single time #i notice something that makes gabe seem more and more shitty #i wonder if disney will actually go through with his abusive step father arc #because disney is too weak to actually show impactful storylines #i'll be mad if they don't because it's so important #also you might've seen a post similar to this before and that's because i deleted that one #wasn't happy with it #i was among the people who were surprised at the changes in gabe's character #i just thought he was pathetic and wasn't sure if the statue-ification in the finale would work then because he was different from the book #but you can see how unhappy percy is to be returning home because he knows he'll have to see gabe too #and i'm glad there's so many posts on here talking about how his character is still an asshat #because him not reacting much to percy sassing him out blindsided me #honestly grateful to those posts because they really do put things in a new light #ok i'll stop being annoying in the tags now #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv spoilers #isoceratops

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kyouka-supremacy · 3 months

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Mmmhh...

#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11 #(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now #I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share #On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out #Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog #Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them

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youremyonlyhope · 1 month

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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

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franeridan · 1 month

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came to the conclusion that the reason why aventio has such a strong hold on me these days is that they're the highest purest greatest dumbest form of "I have feelings for you" (that feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it before) and I find that stupidly compelling atm

#i like that you can really start from scratch with them despite them already acting like they've been in a committed relationship for years #it's like yes these two characters go hand in hand sold in a pair do not separate #they're the only two people who have a high regard of each other and understand each other without words needed #the only ones who can stand spending prolonged periods of time in each others company and still seek each other out after #they're also still completely unaware that they have a positive opinion of each other #that they aren't a burden or an annoyance for each other #that the reason why they find so much ease in working with each other is that they're on the exact same wavelength #in ratio's about aven he talks about how he doubts aven will ever fail bc it's not all luck as aven plays it to be #in aven's about ratio he talks about how he believes the only reason why ratio sticks around is that everyone else is more annoying than him #aven's aware ratio doesn't even look people in the eyes when he can't stand them but he still hasn't noticed that ratio is always looking #straight at him with no barriers #they're so dumb #if you want to write them in a romantic relationship you have the whole road already paved for you but you DO have #to walk it from the very beginning #they built all the bridges needed to reach each other and refused to take even a single step on them #and the only reason is that they've always been so alone and disliked #that now that they have someone who genuinely likes them they can't even tell #it's such a new type of relationship for me I've never been into any characters like this #I'm putting them under a microscope and studying them so attentively fr #the biggest hurdle for them is really gonna be accepting that they're friends that's such a Dynamic™️

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lildoodlecat · 4 months

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The new blanket I got is purple with glow in the dark stars and constellations but unfortunately I sleep with a lamp on to keep the suffocating weight of the darkness away

#okay the blanket is actually part of a full bedset which #i have never owned a matching bedset in my life #and have been using the same blanket since i was like 8 #but when we were at my grandma's for christmas i mentioned offhand that i needed new sheets #bc we didnt have any for a full bed (mine) and i was just using an old stained queen one #and she just goes 'oh i have an extra bedset for a full bed do you want it?'#and i was like ??? yeah????? if you dont need it????????#and she brings out a brand new kids purple star set and im just standing there like what. what. i love purple. that's the cutest bedset wha #AND SUDDENLY I HAVE A FULL BEDSET WITH FITTED SHEETS THE CORRECT SIZE??????#took me over a month to finally have the spoons and the commitment to change to make the switch sjxkdk #i was ecstatic abt the sheets but i was wary abt the blanket and the pillow cases #bc previously i was using some super soft pillow cases i stole from a different bedset (there's a story to that but anyway)#and of course the same blanket I've been using for over a decade #which was pretty worn I'll admit but it smelled like me idk i found it comforting #it was twin sized so it didn't really fit my bed but i basically just become a burrito or perhaps a poorly folded taco to sleep so meh #and yeah i could've just taken the sheets and stuck to my old blanket but the set was so cute.. i wanted my bed to be cute now #turns out. just like the packaging says. it's really soft #the pillow cases probably aren't as soft as the other ones but ig i barely notice #only downside is that the stiffer side of the blanket (the glow in the dark side) rustles easily #which for a 'tuck the blanket up to my ear and under my chin' kinda person is kind of annoying #but im committed. or whatever. so ✨#jay yells #if you've read this far congrats now you know abt my relationship with bedding

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zincbot · 2 months

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the hits stop coming and they don't stop coming

#every time i think i can't feel worse i discover a new blow #TO BE FAIR. IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN THAT BAD #i'm just like. really sensitive or something annoying like that #the worst part is that usually when i'm feeling low i can hinge my feelings on smth like 'if this happens that means everything will be okay #but then sometimes. it happens. and i still feel like the world is ending. so that didn't work now what do i do #ugh i didn't even feel this bad when i was like in the hospital a few months ago and it's literally just like. (in summary)#2 people i love are mad at me. i did really poorly in my exams and might lose my gpa. my car (highly attached) is breaking down and i need #get a new one #i start a new job tomorrow and i heard bad things about it from my classmates who started before me #+ i have serious doubts in my ability to dress neatly and well with all my shitty poorman clothes #+ i started breaking out #+ i just noticed i lost a bunch of weight likely from my hospital stay and i dunno how to get that back #+ my doctor said i'm not likely to get full mobility back at this point and it's upsetting me #also my spare tires are missing #ugh i'll be fine. i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine. i'll be fine #i'm good at dealing BUT ONLY WITH SOME OF THESE. i can deal with the car and the job and the health. but interpersonal shit?#which is the thing upsetting me the most? wow surprise surprise local autist doesn't do people good #UGH anyway sorry for complaints on main i just feel like i got too many straws rn #it's 10:30pm i'm sure i'll feel better in the morning (ignoring the fact that i've been feeling almost exactly like this for days)#ugh. it's fine. i'll deal. only way out is through or whatever

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sysig · 1 year

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I finally set my last notebook to rest, so it’s time for a new one (Patreon)

#Doodles #It took a long time! Having three concurrent notebooks at a time will do that #I'm used to only having two at a time but I think three is going to become my new regular #One for sketches - studies and random concepts and scribbly comics to be cleaned up in SAI at a later time #One for more finished paper art - not necessarily Fancy but lineless y'know lol a bit more proper as far as I'm concerned #And then a true free for all lol anything allowed! Basically a stream-of-consciousness captured to page #For now I've got the latter two covered I'm currently vetting the slightly-more-focused lined notebook #It was from a bit ago and I was being silly at the time haha but the first one is from a new brand I'm testing out #It feels good! It's grippy but not in a scratchy way and it accepts graphite and pigment well #I haven't tested pen bleed yet tho that'll be next on my list #The second is an old standby - not my favourite but one that is very easy to acquire and I know what to expect of it #It's also the same as my free-for-all notebook but that's really neither here nor there lol - I'm not likely to mix them up #The only thing I've really noticed so far is the new brand takes a bit more cleaning because its margin line bleeds a bit more than normal #It's not bad but I can see it getting annoying - pros and cons #The second two are just normal sona thoughts #I miss my spider. I've looked out at where I buried them every day since but it feels more manageable #It feels more approachable like I'll be able to talk about it with the sellers when we're able to go to see them #I do hope they don't think less of me for it...#And then the last haha - my Vargas immunity is currently basically zero so any outside mention of them is overwhelming #I got about three lines into a fic and had to stop lol - I still really want to read it! I just don't trust my brain with it right now #As if I still don't think about them all the time lol ♪#Plus now I have my hammock again (♥!!!!) so I've got my reading spot back!#Reading never felt so good <3 <3

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

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speaking of your coming of age movie that never happens & your narrative non-narratives, shoutout to the arcs that’d be supposedly “worse” lmfao like posts about people-pleasers being like “i’m in my villain era” when it’s just consciously prioritizing themselves at all / noting when boundaries for their own wellbeing are being trampled, and the like. wherein i’m like, well i like talking to people i suppose, i can do the hours of monologue at a wall for one mode, got chatterbox mode, funny guy theatrical mode, etc, but in actuality also, i do not like talking to people lmao. the “yeah, that’s me” movie ending with another voiceover while upbeat music plays & you’re cheerfully walking along in 0.75x speed through some picturesque arena filled with socializing people like =) putting on headphones, turning up the volume, ignoring everyone, dodging people according to the berth one wants to maintain,

#i mean in person i like to be somewhere Parallel to other ppl; but there By Myself technically lol #i also am down for / enjoy spontaneous fleeting interactions w/randos but ofc only the actually good ones; which can sure be rare #and naturally Online interactions have a lot more flexibility than [not having that option] but even then.#like on just one point: being in a ''fandom'' like no thanks at all ever lol even when it comes to relatively niche things #j'etadore quantent being Just Me Posting To Myself. i absolutely do not want to talk to anybody about winston billions.#posts are scrolls i've nailed to a door to be perused if someone wants. take it or leave it; i've given it & left #meanwhile Not In Person chats aren't even enough lol like; need more Delay than a live chat; also too much to say just like irl anyways #gotta be down for short essays at w/e weird pacing & inadvertent caginess abt what ig other ppl would find matter of factly easy to share #i.e. like What Are You Doing? type ye olde facebook status prompt material. well that's a secret / weird / not entertaining enough isn't it #not like i think oh scoff i Should be popular likable & beloved lmfao like no ofc i Know i'm not gonna come off like that. l'autistique.#to be thusly is to be generally considered unlikable / disliked. i probably don't like interacting w/an nt rando too much either.#& w/the power of [adhd] it's like yeah sure i can be the chatty Fun But Annoying person lmfao But. rather than really being begrudgingly #tolerated until ppl are just more used to you / forgive the annoyances it's like no it's just the Annoying part lol beyond that it's like #well you're also somehow still too weird & quiet so worst of both worlds right. And ofc i have Other Traits aren't just for everyone.#some classic easy to embrace shit like bit of a hothead; argumentative; opinionated; stubborn; spontaneous; a hater; cagey....lmao #much of that For Fun but the [autistic Friendly] social cues don't get read that way. plus i Can be unfriendly too ofc lmao. get outta here #like a friend group seems charming & adorably heartwarming in theory until it's like oh god but drawing on all relevant experiences?? No #the third or fourth or nth wheel falling behind on the narrow sidewalk / talked over / finding a chair on the end & ppl dont notice ur here #lowering expectations even for exchanges that Do happen. ppl can enjoy the novelty of a lengthy exchange for like; a day #on the other side of that if what's initiated is like; Brief General messages i'm like oh god lmfao now Eye can't keep up w/this style #beyond that spontaneous shit is like oh god masking. oh god double empathy misinterpretations & being treated horribly b/c of it.#Recognizing & Respecting my actual experiences rather than hypothetical ideals like no i'm Not failing by Not putting myself in more damn #situations lmfao....if i stumble into good ones then great lol. sure have done that & i don't discount the Value therein at all #just sure like [points to the wisdom of e.g. autistic ppl talking abt having to be lonely but at the gain of looking out for / appreciating #themself] like Being ''Unlikable'' or having friends(tm) but not Really / the treatment is shit / you're having to mask a ton anyways...#sure can recall experiences like idk. ppl ''being nice'' & whether on purpose or not it's like actually I'm In Hell I'm In Hell lmfao #and then even if it's not on purpose it's like ah i can't actually talk to them abt it & that's not a great endorsement for the dynamic huh #or just noting like i'm duly accepted to be on the sidelines but what am i doing wrong lmao sweating How To Earn proper Normal participation #lot of anxiety & blaming oneself & it turns out like nah can't excise the Fault of autistic / adhd / cpstdness & you're fine actually #that was ye olde times more so but it's gradual & still fairly recent being like Oh Right. more accurate ideas re: Talking To Ppl At All....

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lilybarthes · 10 months

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#getting to that point in my life where i'm starting to get really annoyed at #the fact that i'm nothing more than the go to person for translations editing and vocab checks to some of my 'friends'#when i see their names in my inbox it's like 'let's skip the pleasantries which of your abstracts/summaries/papers needs translating'#my college roommate whom i haven't seen since my thin era in 2017 just got in touch bc she needs her research proposal translated into eng #last time we spoke was in 2019 when she wanted me to look over a press release #and there are at least four people i can think of off the top of my head who are just the same #like this guy i've known since primary school who now only texts me when he's stuck on an expression in his own translations #i've just been noticing a pattern and it bugs me eto

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iniziareold · 1 year

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Am I removing the obnoxious 5000 placeholders in the new text editor? Yes, yes I am.

#[ out of character. ] whatever. i don't really care. i'm just gonna sit this one out.#[ you know me-- let's edit the shit out of stuff tumblr releases/updates. ]#[ i don't hate this thing in concept-- but its functioning is a little clunky. like why does small text disappear mid-word. ]#[ but the placeholders of 'type anything!' really annoyed me. holy shit with the way i write my replies/even ooc posts... ]#[ i had like 5 'go ahead; put anything!' in my post and i just hate it. ]#[ like thank you tumblr; but i do know how text editors work. they all work the same. ]#[ so those are gone now and somehow... i feel like removing them has made it slightly less clunky for me? ]#[ any way; i'm constantly pushing out updates on my dashboard userstyle in light of swapping over. ]#[ so i do invite you to try it out daily if you use it-- luckily it has an easy 'update' button on the site that does it quickly. ]#[ and if something's amiss-- you can let me know or peek again a few hours later because chances are i've just noticed it! ]#[ i'll put a little link in the post for those who may not be aware of my little precious. ]#[ also this selection background-- i need to... edit... a little. part of me is like we don't... need this to be a thing. ]#[ but i also need it to not touch the actual proper selection. stay tuned; i have more messing to do with it. ]

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alexturner · 2 years

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#literally begging people to stop commenting on people's weight #like even if you think it's a compliment #my mom just told me with an excited voice and a big smile that she can really tell i've been losing weight #thanks for noticing mom i did indeed lose 5kg because i've felt like throwing up every single day for the past month 🤗#she even knows i'm on meds for this now like what is comment???#anyway i'm sorry to post this but i'm just annoyed and sad #weight tw #nausea mention #personal posts

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silasours · 3 months

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ৎ⸝⸝⠀COCKWARMING ! —

#pairing : lucifer, alastor, vox, valentino, x gn reader. #cw : 18+ content, mdni. unprotected sex. edging. office sex. public sex. sub/power sub reader. no mentions of specific anatomy. vox is in an online meeting for work. touch starved lucifer. val blowing his smoke on you for fun. non proofread because it's six in the fuckin morning and I have not slept a wink. #summary : in which they keep themselves buried deep inside of you while being busied by other stuff. #note : save me, I've been writing nothing but hazbin smut lately. i should really start working on other shows.. alastor's a bit shorter than the others, can't really think of a solid idea for him and I wanted to get this out as soon as possible

ʚ LUCIFER .

lucifer whines when you force him to focus on his unfinished work once again. he has been going back and forth from attempting to thrust into you, but you always found a way to press him down in his place firmly. he had some unfinished work that he left sitting in his office for almost a week now, and it irritated you. that's when you offered to cockwarm him while he worked, get him to finally get his hands on those unfinished works.

being absolutely touch starved, lucifer agreed without hesitation unaware of how miserable and impatient this will make him. his hand remain on his working desk, occasionally scribbling some words and a signature on the paper filled with printed words. he does his best to resist the urge to finally thrust into you, worried that you'd leave him unsatisfied if he doesn't do as he's told.

but there's a limit to how much he can contain himself, especially when he has you sitting on his lap with his cock stuffing you to the brim, when you'd tease him so often by clenching around him or moving your hips ever so slightly. lucifer whines every time, the hand that's placed on your hip squeezing on your flesh desperately.

"can i please.. just finish this up later?" his voice muffled from nuzzling his face into your shoulder, eyes closed shut to focus on the warmth engulfing his throbbing member. you let out a small chuckle, baring your teeth into his neck to draw out those pretty moans of his; his cock leaks pathetically inside of you.

"no can do, luci. you're not going to get whatever you want until you finish up." you pull away and tilt your head slightly, pressing a soft kiss onto his jaw while giving a quick glance at the papers sprawled across his desk. he's only halfway done with them. "you're doing pretty well, no? you're halfway done."

lucifer groans, annoyed as he picks up the pen from the desk again while reading through the papers. this time, you decide to tease him a little more instead of staying still. you connect your lips with his exposed neck, sucking on the sensitive skin as your hips slowly grind against his. you hear his breath hitch, his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping you.

your name spills out from his lips breathlessly, following with a whimper that you love so much. you carry on with your actions, dark marks gradually bloom all over his skin like breathtaking flowers. lucifer shifts to lay his forehead on your shoulder, shuddering from pleasure; you tug on his soft hair, firm enough to lift his head up from your shoulder.

"stay focused, luci. remember what's waiting for you to finish your work."

ʚ ALASTOR .

"oh, what a twist!" alastor exclaims with his eyes glued to the book he's reading, chuckling like you're not clenching down on his cock out of desperation. your eyes are teary as you turn to peek at the page he's on, frustration brewing in your chest. upon noticing your reaction, alastor laughs while moving his hand to cup your face, leaning in with a grin. "don't you agree, my dear?"

you groan, parting your lips further enough to drop his thumb into your mouth, biting down on it. alastor mutters a small "fiesty" before buckling up his hips, watching your eyes widen from the sudden pleasure that shoots up your veins. his arm tightens around your waist to stop you from squirming around excessively.

"put.. the fuckin' book down, a-alastor.." your nails dig into his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt, the back of your other hand hovering over your mouth with a frown on your face. alastor smiles in response, holding the book between the both of you now that there's a gap.

"why, it has only gotten interesting! patience is key, darling."

"it has been almost a whole fucking hour, alast-" your words get cut off by yet another harsh thrust of his hips, an uncontrollable moan slipping off your tongue. a low, barely audible grunt could be heard coming from alastor because of how you're squeezing around him like your life depends on it.

slowly, he places the book down, pushing two digits into your mouth as his sharp nails graze past your gums. your tongue swirls around them, gaze fixated on his that seems to be mocking your desperation. you grind your hips, wanting to feel more of that sensitive spot in you being stimulated by his tip brushing against it. alastor grunts every time you tighten around him, the feeling making his skin jump and his eyes close shut from the pleasure he receives.

you reach for the book to toss it aside, not allowing him any chance to get it back and return to what he was previously putting you through. he laughs at the action before getting cut off by yet another groan, a frown slowly finds its way to spread across his face despite the grin that remains on his lips.

"the book shall wait after all."

ʚ VOX .

the sound of vox's workers and colleagues echoes through his workplace, the source of it coming from the laptop that sits in front of him. he's holding an urgent meeting with them to discuss some things about work, yet you're here obediently sitting on him, cockwarming him. your arms hug his neck tightly, hands grabbing tightly onto his shirt while listening to him speak to the people in call.

you bite down every moan that builds in your throat, not allowing any sound to be heard by anyone but your partner. times when vox isn't discussing important matters, he leans into your ear to whisper praises, thrusting into you, and stops so suddenly when you're close to release.

he grins as you whine at the sudden loss of friction, skin flushed while feeling him draw lazy circles on your hips with his thumbs. he starts speaking again just when you're about to voice your frustration, drawing out a grumble from you. you stay there unattended, glancing at the part where the two of you connect; you're craving release, and you're done waiting.

with a steady pace, you move your own hips while holding onto his shoulders for support. vox's head snaps toward your direction, teeth gritting as he bites back the groans that threaten to leave his lips. he tries to hold you down, but his body betrays him and allows you to carry on with your movements. his head tilts back to lean against the headrest of his chair, the words that his workers speak gradually shifting to a blur in his mind.

"fuck, w-wait," his breath grows heavy, barely managing to keep his eyes open as you fuck yourself on his cock. you're supposed to be cockwarming him, not riding him. he has allowed you to the point of no return, how is he going to carry on with the meeting now? you grab him and connect your lips with his, drinking in his groans like how he does to your moans.

ignoring the calls of his name from the meeting, he pulls you closer by the waist as you grind yourself on him. it wasn't until he started getting annoyed by the meeting that he broke away from the kiss, strings of saliva still connecting your lips while his hand reached out to shut the laptop down. the room falls to a sudden silence, the only sounds that remain are your heavy breathing.

"you're gonna fuck up my company if this carries on," vox snickers before crashing his lips with yours again, hands holding onto your hips to thrust into you without anything holding him back this time.

ʚ VALENTINO .

you still can't process the fact that you're in valentino's studio with his cock buried deep inside of you while people walked around to work on set. valentino takes puffs from the cigarette he holds between his fingers, often ordering and even yelling at people as they rush to obey his commands.

nobody pays any mind to the both of you; in fact, they see it as something normal. after all, they're working for a porn producer, what is there not to be normal? you keep your face stuffed in the fluff of his coat, hands gripping tightly onto his outfit while still trying to adjust to how good he stretches you apart. everyone has just started working, and the set is still being prepared for a new film.

"you're tighter than usual my love, are you that excited to be around everyone?" he teases with a mocking tone, puffing out a wisp of pink smoke onto your flushed face. you lightly shake your head with a whine, the smoke that you inhale causing your vision to spin immediately. humming, valentino lifts your body up with the help of his lower pair of arms before roughly slamming you back down onto his cock. "I doubt that. you've always loved being fucking in public, no? look at you,"

you gasp, body tensing as a moan escapes your throat. you immediately bite down on your lower lip, eyes screwing shut while simultaneously having your body trembling under his hold. you don't want to draw too much attention to yourself, yet the idea alone excites you in an odd way that you never knew it would. noting your reaction, valentino continues repeating the action before stopping promptly, feeding himself with your choked back moans.

"keep looking pretty like that while i work, i'll have a reward waiting for you." you mewl at his words, giving him a weak nod while tugging onto his shirt. he takes another long drag from his cigarette before letting his gaze fall onto the prepared set displayed in front of him, eyes scanning for the stars of the show in the room.

he would moan softly into your ear whenever you clenched around him, teasing you with his mere voice and carrying on with his work. you don't complain, though, considering how you'll be fucked into a moaning mess once he's done with work.

© silas ( @silasours ). all rights reserved. every work posted on this account belongs to me, and only me. please refrain from reposting, plagiarizing, translating, or reproducing my work in any form possible.

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