me @ Disney: make Smelly Gabe a sculpture or Mickey fucking gets it

Roundup: August 2021

This month: Jane Eyre, Wide Sargasso Sea, Don’t Call it a Cult, The Secret Garden, Showbiz Kids, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Lucifer.

Reading Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) - I’ve been meaning to read the Wide Sargasso Sea for a long, long time, but first I thought I’d revisit the source material. I find my opinion hasn’t much changed - I still love the prose, still love Jane as a character, and still find Rochester extremely unappealing. The section with Jane at school is the most engaging for me, and her early time as a governess at Thornfield, but as soon as Rochester shows up I just find him so irritating I have no idea why Jane loves him so much (other than he was the first man to ever show her a scrap of attention). I mean, I know to an extent - I've read the Takes, and part of fiction is accepting what you want for the character as a reader and what they want for themselves can be two different things, and that's not the fault of the text. I can be satisfied by the ending because Jane gets what she wants, I just can’t help but wonder about a Jane who was found by John Eyre before she went to Thornfield, or who took her inheritance and made her own way after Moor House. Byronic heroes just aren't my thing I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Wide Sargasso Sea (Jean Rhys) - The first Mrs Rochester of Jane Eyre strikes an uneasy tone to a modern reader; she does not utter a word in the novel, is depicted as animalistic and almost demonic, her story only told in a self-serving manner by Rochester, and conveniently disposed of so Jane can return to claim him. Rhys reimagines Bertha as Antoinette, a “white Creole” of Jamaica in a postcolonial take on the racial/social prejudices and hierarchy only hinted at in Eyre, where Bertha being Creole primarily an aspect of her Otherness, and in which Rochester describes himself as being desired as a husband because he was "of good race" . In Sea, although Antoinette is white (passing, perhaps), he sees her "not English or European either" and this contributes to his rejection of her (and perhaps his willingness to believe she is mad). The novel is surprisingly short - it skips over the meeting and courtship of Antoinette and Rochester (tellingly unnamed in the novel) entirely, jumping directly from her childhood/coming of age to the couple already married, and over much of Bertha's (renamed by Rochester) sad life in the attic. Still, there's a density to the writing, much is implied beyond the sparse use of words and recurring imagery - subjugation, reflection, and of course, fire - when freed slaves (Rhys changes the timeframe to after the passing of the Emancipation Act of 1833) set fire to Antoinette's family plantation, a pet parrot whose wings have been clipped by her English step-father Mason, cannot flee and falls to a fiery doom, in a grim omen of Bertha's fate. It did, however, leave me wanting more - I understand Rhys' stylistic choices and restraint, but in her effort to give voice to the voiceless, Antoinette/Bertha remains somewhat an enigma. Don’t Call it a Cult: Keith Raniere and the women of NXIVM (Sarah Berman) - I continue to be disturbed but intrigued by the NXIVM case, not only because of my abhorrence of MLMs/pyramid schemes, but my bafflement as to how this thoroughly unremarkable man was able to hold sway over so many women. My mild criticism of the two documentaries on this subject was that they tended to jump around in time so you never really got a good idea of what happened when. This book provides a well researched, detailed summary of events and linear chronology of Raniere’s perverse pathology reaching all the way back to childhood, and so is both an excellent supplement to the already informed, and broad overview to those new to the case. Berman is a Vancouver-based journalist who was present at Raniere’s trial and gives insight into witness testimony, supported by her own interviews and extensive research. There's less of a focus on the sensationalised celebrity members, with greater emphasis on the lesser known victims - including the three Mexican sisters who were all abused by Raniere, one of whom was kept confined to a room for years. It's difficult reading, consolation being the

knowledge that Raniere is rotting in prison and that his crimes finally caught up with him. Watching The Secret Garden (dir. Marc Munden) - Spoilers, if one needs a spoiler warning for a 110 year old novel. One of those stories that is adapted every generation, and generally I have no problem with this, since new adaptations can often bring something new or be a different take on old material (see Little Women 2019). But a part of me can’t help feel why bother with this when the perfect 1993 version exists. There is an Attempt at something new with this film, moving the setting forward to 1947 (Mary’s parents having died during the Partition), and turning the garden from a small walled secret to a mystical, huge wonderland full of ferns and flowers and endless sun. But in doing so, the central metaphor is lost - rather than Mary discovering something abandoned and run wild, gently bringing it back to life with love and care, she merely discovers a magical place that requires no effort on her part. There’s also less of a character arc for Mary, remaining unpleasant far into the proceedings, forcing Colin to visit the garden instead of it being his true wish, and generally succeeding by imposing her will on everyone else. In many ways she’s more like Burnett's other child heroine Sarah Crewe - the film opens I’m with her telling stories to her doll including Ramayana, which is eerily reminiscent of Alfonso Cuaron's (also perfect) 1995 adaptation of A Little Princess. But I suppose a sliver of credit where it's due - Julie Walters' Mrs Medlock is less of an antagonist, with Colin Firth's Lord Craven being Mary's primary obstacle. There's also a subplot with Mary's mother's depression following the death of her sister being the reason for her neglect (and Merlin alum Rupert Young shows up briefly as Mary's father) but like shifting the time period, there just doesn't seem to be a point to it. The climax of the film involves the Manor burning down (writer Jack Thorne stealing from Rebecca too, lol), with Mary and Craven have a very calm conversation as fire and smoke surrounds them. It’s all very bizarre, but also…rather dull? Don't bother with this, just watch the 1993 film again. Showbiz Kids (dir. Alex Winter) - a really interesting documentary on the titular subject - Winter was himself a child actor on Broadway before his film career kicked off in The Lost Boys and Bill and Ted, and has been able to assemble a broad range of interview subjects - Mara Wilson, Evan Rachel Wood, Wil Wheaton, Jada Pinkett Smith among others - former child actors, those still in the business, and some up and comers like Disney star Cameron Boyce (who I was sad to see in the coda has passed away). We also follow two young hopefuls - Marc, attending acting classes and auditioning in pilot season, yet to book a job but his parents are invested in "his" dream, and Demi, already established on Broadway but having to start to make choices between a career and a childhood. There's no voiceover, no expert opinions in this, letting the actors speak for themselves, but there is a telling juxtaposition of Marc returning home, jobless but having fun in the pool with his friends, while Demi has to cancel the summer camp she had been so looking forward to because she has booked a new role. The film is fairly even handed, but ultimately I took away that there just seems to be more harm than not in this industry, and abuses of many kinds. It does make you wonder about the ethics of child acting, at least in the current system where the cautionary tales are plentiful. Masters of the Universe: Revelation (episodes 1-5) - Mild spoilers I guess? I was never really into He-Man as a kid, other than the Secret of the Sword movie, so most of the in jokes and references in this went over my head. I have to admit, it was actually seeing all the outrage that made me want to check this out and see what all the complaining was about. I actually…really enjoyed it?!? I’m sympathetic to the complaints of a bait and switch (creators really need to learn to say

“just wait and see”), but other than that in my view the rest seemed completely unfounded. Adam/He-Man being killed in the first episode and the impact that has on Eternia and those left behind is actually a really interesting premise. This isn’t a TLJ situation; in contrast everyone (except Evil-Lyn) is always going on about how much they miss Adam, and the whole point of the first arc is him coming back. There’s also a nice little detail of Adam in Preternia (heroes heaven) choosing to remain as he is rather than as He-Man where all his predecessors have chosen their “ultimate” forms. I love him and his Magical Girl transformation. As for Teela - female characters can’t win, it seems. If they are perfect, they’re Mary Sues, if they have flaws, they’re unlikeable. Teela is Going Through things and is on a journey, but I often feel (and it seems the case here) that people confuse a character arc with author intent. No! Just because a character says/does something it doesn't mean you're supposed to agree with them! Some of Teela's actions may be petty and her demeanor less than sweet, but people make bad choices as a response to grief, and I actually thought her anger over Adam never telling her his secret and how that manifested was a pretty interesting take. I'll be interested to see the next half of the season, and ignore the ragebait youtube commentary. One more thing - Evil-Lyn (perfectly voiced by Lena Headey) was an absolute delight. Lucifer (season 5 part 2): They’ve basically given up on the procedural side of things by now and are leaning heavily into the mythology, which works for me since the case of the week is always the least interesting part of any show. It also struck me this season that there’s gender parity in the main cast (Lucifer, Amenadiel, Dan and then Chloe, Maze, Ella, Linda) - and actually, that’s more women than men. How often does that happen?!? I can’t say I’m particularly engaged with the Lucifer/Chloe pairing, but am happy to go along with it since that’s where the whole plot revolves. The best scenes for me this season were with God’s Dysfunctional Family, even if the lead up to the finale felt rushed (I understand the need to wrap things up in case of cancellation but still). I would have liked to see more of the sibling dynamics between the angels and less romantic drama, but hey. The character death got me, as well. I didn't see it coming and I didn't realise how much I had enjoyed that character until they were gone and well...it got me. I see the last season is coming soon, I'm not exactly sure where they can go from here, but looking forward to it nonetheless. Writing I was actually quite sick this month with a throat infection, so wasn't in the best frame of mind to get anything finished like I had planned to. I'm going to hold off posting the word count this month and roll it over to September when hopefully I've actually posted things.

Oh boy I really got in my feelings and wrote way too much lmao

Tagged by: @edithpattou86

Tags your friends to do their own lists: @chierafied @mother-ishvara @doughygraduatestudent @kazoomajor @pagan-assassin

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Top 5 animated movies:

1. Whisper of the Heart - Such a cute and whimsical slice-of-life coming of age story, and so inspiring for creative types! I love how Shizuku sees her fantasies come to life in the world around her, and how she just follows her whims to wander the city and treats each day like an adventure. I see a lot of myself in her. The grandpa and his shop are so cool! I want to find a place like that in my city! I love how she and Seiji inspire and encourage each other to improve themselves. Even though they’re so young and I usually hate that kind of thing, I think it’s a very realistic portrayal of what true love and a healthy relationship should be. The way her writing is treated as a creative process and something she can polish with hard work is just such a wonderful message and so inspiring to me.

2. Spirited Away - I love the Japanese culture and mythology, and the serene, still tone of the film. Truly beautiful. The way it doesn’t paint the spirits and gods in a bad light is good and correct: they were the careless humans who went into their world and took what they shouldn’t have. But it still focuses on the supernatural and eerie elements, often without even explaining anything, which I love. And the bathhouse feels like a real functioning place with workplace culture and all. And of course it’s great that Chihiro steps up and learns to be strong. I just love it.

3. Howl’s Moving Castle - I love all the characters so much, and all the magic and whimsy. The fantasy European setting is so charming, and they did a good job depicting Western magic. Ghibli movies really have such mundane magic, and they make me feel like my life is magic too. Sophie is so good and strong and I love seeing her come into her own. And Howl is hot. lmao

4. My Neighbor Totoro - I had the original Fox dub of this on a bootleg VHS my grandma made us when I was literally like an infant. My parents threw it away when I was still young- like no older than 5- because it “has Eastern religion in it” 🙄 Too bad for them the damage was already done lmfao. It was definitely one of the biggest influences of my formative years, I loved it so much and I’m so grateful to it. That mundane magic I talked about before, and just introducing me to a totally different worldview from my sheltered white American Christian bubble. I was fascinated by every single aspect from the traditional Japanese-style home to the bentos to the shrines... I really admired Satsuki and how grown up she was, taking care of her little sister like she did, making the lunches, all that. It’s really such a charming movie with great music and such a realistic depiction of childhood. Plus who doesn’t love Totoro himself?? And catbus! Iconicccc. I still look for little portholes in bushes and trees to this day lmao

5. Mulan - My little 8-year-old enby ass crying in the living room and repeatedly playing the Reflections scene over and over makes so much more sense now 😂 But really it’s just such a great film with a unique art style, fun characters, and great music. I love how Mulan fights for what she believes is right, and wants to protect her father. And I think it’s great how she also fights to find her own place in the world. I like how they don’t make it a “not like other girls” thing, but just that she personally somehow doesn’t feel comfortable in her own skin with the makeup and all that. Between her living as a man and the clear romantic relationship between “Ping” and Shang, it’s pretty good queer representation for a 2000s Disney movie lol. Also Mulan and Shang can both get it I mean what.

Honorable Mention: Prince of Egypt - That animation tho! So fucking cinematic!! And the music and everything just ugh so good! The characters are really compelling too and you can totally feel the brotherly love and familial issues.

Top 5 live action movies:

1. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day - This is a movie where you can’t look away for a moment or you’ll miss something important. It really is just one entire heck of a day for the main character like howwww does so much happen. It’s really just written so well honestly that they manage to pack so much into a single movie and a single day. I aspire to that level. The 30s setting is so great with the costumes and set and music ahh I get so much inspiration from it. Every single character (and actor for that matter) is just fantastic. It’s super funny- that situational comedy is my jam. And there are touching moments that give me inspiration for my own life. I relate to Miss Pettigrew with her clear social anxiety, and perhaps neurodivergency? But I love how the events of the film bring out the best in her. And Delysia is just so charming! I want her confidence

2. La La Land - Such a fun and whimsical musical about life for creatives in Los Angeles~ It makes me feel nostalgic and proud to live here. I love all the different homages to classic Hollywood, and the music is so good!! The love story feels realistic and I actually really like that they don’t end up together in the end. They just encourage each other to be better, and if that means being apart, they’re willing to do it. It is another one that gives me inspiration for my life and creative endeavors, especially The Fools Who Dream 😭 Gets me every time.

3. Mamma Mia - This is my shameless feel-good movie. I love just putting it on in the background as I clean or whatever. It’s just so upbeat and fun!! I love Amanda Seyfried and Meryl Streep especially. And I like that the main character learns what she wants (and doesn’t want) out of life right now. And I love that they depict older characters and women!! having full and rich lives including romance and sex. The message that it’s never too late for love is so great! And also just like please communicate and you will probably save yourself so much heartache lmao.

4. Across the Universe - I have an affinity for the 60s and 70s, and I love how this movie kind of takes you through that era with the various characters. It’s such a fun movie with great costumes, cinematography, and music! I just love all the covers of the Beatles songs!! I honestly like them just as much as I like the originals. This is one of the first things I ever saw with positive/neutral queer representation?? Like Sadie is presented just as she is, without it being like WHAT SHE LIKES WOMEN?????? I”MPOSSIBLE !! Or making it all about sex or whatever. It’s literally just like “I want to hold your hand.” Also the whole bit with Eddie Izzard is just incredible lmfao

5. LOTR - My first fandom~ I love these movies so much ughhh. The music! The costumes! The characters! The world! The high fantasy!! I think PJ was so true to the books, or at least as much as he was able in just 10-ish hours. I love that they just went for it and filmed all three in one go, and made them over 3 hours long, which was basically unheard of at the time for blockbuster films. They did so good fully representing the different races through costume, language, culture, and the music too. I literally used to just lay on my bed for hours at a time in junior high, listening to the soundtracks and being immersed in the world. My friends and I would often play pretend that we were in Middle Earth (so lame for middle schoolers lmaooo). I love every single (not-evil) character and I will fight for them. I will especially fight Denethor I don’t even cARE !

Honorable mention: A Little Princess - Sooo whimsical and lovely, even when the girls are going through hardship! I love Sarah and how she literally does magic and even puts a curse on what’s her face omgg. She’s so charming and a genuinely good person too, even though she could have been a spoiled brat. The big climactic scene is so !! Omg I still get the adrenaline when she’s crossing the board and then hiding from the police even though I’ve seen this countless times since I was a small child. And it’s so wonderful that she’s reunited with her father, and they adopt the other girl. It taught me at a young age that the world isn’t fair and people will be nasty and abusive for no reason, but that you can still believe in magic and “fancy yourself a princess.” And the neighbor guy taught me that strangers will step in to help out of the goodness of their heart.

Top 5 TV shows:

1. ATLA - One of the best series of all time. The worldbuilding, lore, storyline, character development, animation, music, etc, are all incredible. If they had gone with the original intention of making Zutara canon it would have been literally perfect and so subversive and innovative! As it is it is still nearly perfect and they still did an amazing job with Zuko’s redemption arc. I just ignore that very last scene tbh. In my mind, it didn’t happen. The series addresses so many issues like imperialism, sexism, abuse, family, disability, war, etc, in a very realistic way. Uncle Iroh is literally a treasure.

2. Steven Universe - So charming and wonderful!! I just love it so much!! It is so goddamn queer, it makes me so happy. Stevonnie is the nonbinary representation we don’t even deserve!! I love every single character. I love the animation and the music too! The bgm is so bubbly and glitchy and cool, super on point for trends these days. And the original songs are so charming~ It also deals with a ton of important issues like imperialism, interpersonal relationships, oppression, self-identity, abuse, leadership, mental health, boundaries, consent, brain-washing, unlearning unhealthy behavior, etc. I love that every single character, even minor ones, get character development and a chance to be strong and improve themselves. And it shows that even the ones we initially think are super strong and have it all together, actually have their own issues that they struggle with too.

3. Yuuri!!! On Ice - This show!!!! Oh my goddddddd. Literally perfect. I love that it just subverts every single trope???? Especially with the events at the beginning and the big spoiler in episode 10. Simply incredible. I love every single character so much??? Even ones I was expecting to hate, like how Yurio is a little shit at the beginning, and then when Lilia is introduced as this super severe tyrant, but she ends up just being a good, yet strict coach because she really wants Yurio to succeed. It’s honestly just so wholesome! The music is so amazing and the ice skating is really realistic too! It really shows that they had an actual skating choreographer and worked off video of him performing. I love how realistic the whole show is like with lots of social media, youtube, instagram, etc. And it does a queer romance without it being a gimmick. It’s just a sports anime with a side plot of a romance but it just happens to be gay. And Kubo-sensei has stated that homophobia doesn’t exist at all in their world which makes me so happy. It’s honestly so queer and I adore how all three main characters are genderfucks a bit. I also love how realistically Yuuri’s anxiety and depression are portrayed. I relate so much to him, especially because mine exhibit in the exact same ways as his. It’s another one that inspires me to fight to be better and live the life I want to live.

4. OTGW - So charming. A perfect addition to the canon of New England fairy tales. The music is great, the animation is wonderful and nostalgic, the characters are fun and interesting and spooky. I love how liminal it is and you aren’t really sure where they are or what’s going on for the majority of the episodes. Greg is the most realistic depiction of a small child and the brothers’ relationship is the most realistic I think I’ve ever seen in my life lmao. He’s just so random and weird and has such Little Kid Logic I love it so much lmao. The story is perfectly contained in its 10 short episodes, and it gives a very satisfying ending. I still can’t get over how many huge stars were in it too?? Like fucking Tim Curry as Auntie Whispers???? I can not believe.

5. Inuyasha - I’m weeb trash and this show is also trash but I love it so much okay. As a big fan I hold so much against the anime for changing things from the manga, but even so I love it. Overall I think the animation, music, and voice acting is perfect. It’s so cool with all the mythos of youkai and the shikon jewel, plus I love traditional Japanese culture stuff. And isekai type stuff is my jam. If I found a portal to another world or to the past you bet your ass I’d go through it. I totally don’t still look for portals as a 30 year old adult, I don’t know what you’re talking about 😂 Kagome is such a great mc tbh like she’s so smart and strong and talented and kind I just love her so much??? I want to be more like her. And I love all the characters honestly. I have to overlook some questionable 90s anime tropes for certain ones, but I still love them. As much as we rag on the constant upgrades thing, the battles and stuff are pretty thrilling, and overall the series is good fun. And yes Sesshoumaru is my husbando, next question.

Honorable Mention: Doctor Who - I love how this show manages to be like every single genre?? SciFi, historical, comedy, thriller, mystery, slice of life, etc. I love all of the Doctors, and all of their companions. I just love how much the Doctor loves humans, and how much faith they have in humanity. And again it’s that whole isekai, time travel, normal modern human goes on magical adventures thing. I would go with the Doctor in a heartbeat. I still cry over Donna 😭

i was mostly wondering how you would’ve handled the reylo storyline? here’s the thing, i’m such a sucker for a trash ship (hello garcy) but i am so not a reylo shipper (finnrey!! you saw me in a way no one else has come oN they were RIGHT THERE DISNEY UGH). however, i thought their kiss at the end was objectively kinda cute (and i loved the ben solo redemption arc cause i’m a trash human), but it was so random based on how they were presented throughout the trilogy?? (part one)

(part two) you’re an amazing writer and lover of trash as well, and i was wondering if you had to construct the reylo arc, how you would’ve handled it? this is purely an objective thing because the end scene made me realize that they had potential, like garcy level potential, to be a really good dynamic and ship, but it was just handled so poorly everywhere overall, it makes me want to go back and be like “now THIS is how you do a trash ship, not whatever actual garbage you tried to pass off”

(again if you don’t want to that’s 1000% okay cause it was so gross i’m just bitter at the trilogy as a whole cause i don’t understand why they all didn’t decide on an overarching plot for all three and then direct/write their movies based off that????? like????? how?????? good?????? writing????? is????? supposed?????? to????? happen??????) (part three) 🤗

(thank you and i love you) (part four)

Aww you are so sweet anon, thank you! Much love and kisses and hugs to you! I hope that you’ve been having a good holiday season, disappointment over Star Wars notwithstanding.

I would also like to thank you for your patience–it’s been a crazy few days, with the holidays and all, so it took me a little bit to get around to this.

This will get long, I’m sure, so it’s all behind the cut! I apologize for how this turned into complete rambling. There is no structure to this. I’m sorry.

Now, I love a properly done, slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers ship as much as the next feral hyperfixating moron, but so few people do it properly. An enemies-to-lovers ship that’s done properly is one that has two people be enemies because of equally valid but opposing moral viewpoints or, takes the time to show the ‘enemy’ character a) recognize that what they’re doing and have done is wrong b) apologize c) make reparations d) continue to improve in their behavior and do good, not to win back favor or make reparations but because they have seen the error in their ways and they want to keep doing good for its own sake.

The example of the first is Flynn/Lucy from Timeless. Flynn and Lucy start out as enemies, and as we learn over the course of the first season, Flynn is actually the hero. He’s the one who is opposing the white supremacist bullshit cult trying to take over the country/world. Flynn, out of grief and desperation, does things that are morally questionable and objectionable, and through his interactions with Lucy, tries to hone and adjust his plans. Lucy on the other hand has the more “moral” standpoint aka let’s not kill people, etc, but she’s working on behalf of the evil bullshit cult. Their viewpoints are opposing but equally valid and the joy of season one is watching them start to fumble their way to meeting in the middle so Rittenhouse can be defeated.

An example of the second is Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Now, I’m not going to call out any particular ship here, but no matter who you ship Zuko with, it’s only possible for you to do that because he spends seasons and seasons of television making up for his mistakes. We see him slowly come to question his motives and actions, realize he’s wrong, and take steps to apologize and make reparations. After he does that, he then continues to do good. He doesn’t say, “well I apologized and then I taught the Avatar how to firebend so I’m all good now bye!” He continues to fight the good fight, and not because he wants a reward or praise, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do, and he wants to do the right thing.

So right away, we’re off on the wrong foot with Kyle Ron.

I don’t give a flying piece of monkey fuck what any other books or media say about Kyle’s fall to the dark side. Most people are only going to watch the films and in the films, all we know is that there was darkness sensed in him, Luke thought about killing him (which is a shitty piece of characterization that I will never forgive Rian Johnson for and trust me he can throw whatever arguments he wants at me with his I’m So Woke White Guy Persona and I can and will destroy every inch of his arguments and his brain but that’s a story for another time), Snoke started talking to Kyle or rather Palpatine as it’s explained in a quick ham-fisted explanation in TROS, and Kyle goes and MURDERS A BUNCH OF HIS PEERS WHO ARE ALL CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS, THEN PROCEEDS TO BECOME A SPACE NAZI.

…yeah that sure doesn’t sound to me like a traumatized child trying to make his father proud (Zuko) or a grieving widower and father trying to fight white supremacists and destroy their organization with full knowledge that he’s breaking his own moral code to do so (Flynn).

So yeah, right away, we gotta fix that.

The next thing we gotta fix is his first interactions with Rey. The Force Awakens didn’t set Rey and Kyle up to be romantic at all. He tries to mind rape her with his Force abilities, for crying out loud. And this is after he mind rapes and tortures Poe for information with his Force abilities. Then, after his father offers him redemption and love, he kills him–right in front of Rey, who had come to see Han as her adopted father.

Never once does Kylo Ren apologize for any of it. Not. Fucking. Once. Not even a simple ‘I’m sorry’. What the fuck.

I wouldn’t have him hurt Rey in any way. Capture her, okay, but not hurt her, certainly not try and force himself into her very mind. That’s not something I could ever forgive someone for doing. Sorry not sorry. Then I wouldn’t have him kill his own father after said father had offered him love and understanding and redemption. Nope.

Then, if we wanted to show the two of them establishing a Force bond et al like in TLJ, I wouldn’t have him fucking gaslight her. Saying “you came from nothing, you are nothing, but not to me” is a manipulative as fuck thing to say where you a) destroy the person’s self worth b) make them think everyone is against them and c) that you are the only person who values them. That is, as I’m sure I don’t have to remind everyone, not. healthy.

Having Kylo treat her with respect and consideration, praising her, not gaslighting her, and also um NOT TRYING TO GET HER TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE, especially after he killed Snoke. He rejects once again an offer of rejection, this time from Rey, and decides to rule the Space Nazi Army. Not cool bro.

Let’s compare that to Garcy real quick.

Flynn tries to get Lucy to help him specifically because Lucy is the person who told him to do this in the first place. He is doing things he hates doing and needs a true ally, a partner, someone he can trust and turn to for advice and assistance. Lucy’s refusal to budge on her moral stance even once she knows about the existence of Rittenhouse is actually a problem because it draws out the conflict between her and Flynn and makes it so that Rittenhouse has more chances to succeed. Flynn goes about asking for her help in an entirely trash way which… doesn’t help either. But he never lies to her, never manipulates or gaslights her, he respects her (and makes that clear) and repeatedly, when Lucy offers him redemption (or what she thinks is redemption) begs her to explain to him how he can accept it. Lucy repeatedly says to Flynn, “please do abc in order to be the honorable man I know you are,” and Flynn’s response to that is, “but will that mean that my terms of xyz are fulfilled.” They’re negotiating a treaty, essentially. Flynn needs certain things so that he has a guarantee that Rittenhouse is defeated, and until he gets that, he cannot accept Lucy’s offers despite making it clear he wants to.

Kyle Ron, incel fuckboy, does not do this. He instead kills his ‘mentor’ and assumes the throne as supreme leader after manipulating Rey and gaslighting her and then tells her to join him or die. Not… the same thing… at all.

Basically the whole Reylo thing suffered because there was never originally an intention for Reylo to be A Thing. Rey and Kylo Ren were set up in TFA to be opposites and to be enemies. Then in TLJ we got an enemies-to-lovers setup that was done incredibly poorly with gaslighting and manipulation and no effort on Kylo Ren’s part to actually apologize or atone for any of his behavior. How can anyone possibly have seen good in that boy? Because he talked to Rey a couple times across the galaxy when she was too far away for him to kill?

So to make Reylo work, you have to go back to TFA and completely change the setup, the character interactions, and THEN you get into TLJ and you have to change how Kylo Ren talks to her. Perhaps his decision at the end after murdering Snoke is to stay so he can destroy the First Order from within because he knows that if he doesn’t, someone else will just step up into Snoke’s place–you can’t just erase an entire movement just because one leader is gone, although that is a pretty big blow. Something like that.

THEN in TROS you wouldn’t have to change much at least as far as Kylo Ren and Rey’s interactions because you would’ve established them from the start in TFA and left out the blatant emotional abuse in TLJ. Oh, and have Kyle say he’s sorry and do some actively good things for other people BESIDES Rey so that we actually see him doing good. Someone realizing they did wrong is not the end of a redemption arc, it’s the START of one.

And the guy can’t only do good things for his love interest. Nope nope nope. Going, again, back to Garcy, over the course of season two we see Flynn a) save Rufus’s life several times and care about him b) give Denise a pep talk and come to an understanding with her c) support and praise Mason d) give Wyatt advice that Wyatt didn’t even deserve and e) joke about giving Jiya a hug (and would’ve given her one if she’d wanted it) and protect her in Chinatown.

Flynn mostly interacts with Lucy because she’s the person who gives him a real chance and opens up to him, but he’s there for the others as well and we see that. To get the same from Kylo Ren, we’d need to see him apologizing to and doing good things for Poe, Finn, etc.

Again: Reylo sucked ass because TFA didn’t set it up to be a romance. TLJ made it all worse by making the romance actually A Thing and using emotional abuse to do it, but TLJ really didn’t have much of a chance to make it a Good Thing anyway because it was building off of what TFA started, and TFA started off on the wrong foot if you want a romance between those two.

Personally, I think that there just isn’t enough time in three movies to pull off a really solid Zuko-style redemption arc for Kyle. There are too many other characters to worry about and too much else to deal with. So the answer would be to make Kyle Ron more like Flynn, but that would completely change his character, so… it’s a vicious circle of going around and around trying to make something work when the framework, the foundation, is just not going to let you do that.

How would I do Reylo? Well, to be honest, I wouldn’t do Reylo in the first goddamn place because I am so FUCKING sick and tired of white boys getting redemption arcs. I know this makes me a hypocrite because I have written 50+ fics of Wyatt Logan, The Most Whitebread of White Boys, earning his redemption, but I wasn’t starting from scratch there (and if I get a chance to make a boring white het person into a queer as fuck person, thereby actually making them interesting, then I’m taking that chance). And if I’m starting from scratch, if you’re giving me this new trilogy and saying “here are the characters, do with them what you want,” I ain’t having one more fucking lily-white privileged-ass bitch motherfucker be the “hero” because he said he was sorry and he looked longingly at the pretty girl a few times.

The trilogy gave us Poe and Finn. Two excellent, handsome as fuck, kind, loyal, good-hearted men who were fighting to save the ones they love and the galaxy. I would marry the fuck out of both of them. I wouldn’t do Reylo.

But if you put a gun to my head…

…no wait I don’t fear death that’s a bad analogy…

…if you put a gun to a kitten and told me I had to do Reylo, that’s how I would do it. Go all the way back to TFA and have Kyle Ron treat Rey with respect, never try to force himself into her mind or torture her, I’d have him not be nearly so murderous in the first place and I wouldn’t have him throwing tantrums left and right, and I wouldn’t have him MURDER! HIS! FATHER! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

Then in TLJ I’d start to show his conflicts, have the Force bond be established but have him talk honestly with Rey and open up to her instead of having him manipulate her and try to get her to the dark side at every turn. I certainly wouldn’t have him keep telling her that they’re meant for greatness together and all that bullshit while she kept telling him no, stop, go away, I don’t want this. You know that what kind of scenario reminds me of? A man continuing to push and do things when the woman told him to stop? You know what that makes me think of?

Yeah, I bet you do.

At the end of TLJ he would not just murder Snoke and take the throne, he’d be shown in the middle of a moral quandary so that we’re given a nice and satisfying emotional cliffhanger for his storyline for us to look forward to seeing resolved in TROS. Then, TROS, at that point eh I’d leave that pretty much the same, because it would WORK, BECAUSE THE GROUNDWORK HAD BEEN LAID PROPERLY IN TFA AND THERE WOULD BE NO BULLSHIT EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND MANIPULATION IN TLJ.

So there you are, nonny. I contribute anyone enjoying that last bit of Reylo in TROS to Adam Driver’s admittedly good and dedicated acting, and I hope that my answer explains my (rambling) train of thought and explains how I would do things. But to be honest I really wouldn’t do Reylo in the first place, the whole thing sickens me, I want to set the entire Disney studio buildings on fire, and if anyone tells me they ship Reylo I can and will stop talking to them for the rest of my goddamn life because they are not to be trusted and I can successfully hold grudges for decades.

…wow, I’m just a pillar of rage.

Thank you for your very lovely asks, nonny! I hope that this satisfies. If you have any follow up questions, don’t hesitate to ask them! I admit this wasn’t a very structured response but I hope it explained everything. Have a beautiful day and give yourself a hug!