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#and my ass is woken up by literally the smallest shit these days
spook-e-snail · 26 days
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Youtube asmr does not fucking get it sometimes when I say snoring asmr I want it to sound like the fucking walls are rattling when I say rain and thunder asmr I want it to be loud as hell like a tornado is passing by my window I do not want that "honk shoo snore mimimi" bullshit and the most pansy ass storm i've ever heard with one clap of thunder
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be0mcore · 2 years
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ txt as highschool bestfriends
notes: here's my second fic ! i kinda went overboard with taehyun... sorry in advance !
genre: fluff (platonic)
tw: swearing
words: 1.6k
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❥ˏˋyeonjun ´ˎ˗
◦ you guys were definitely childhood best friends
◦ your parents knew eachother before you were born, so ofc when y'all popped out the womb you were immediately inseparable
◦ as soon as you got to highschool, yeonjun became crazy popular i mean not surprised cmon look at him
◦ that didn't stop you both from remaining besties, however !!
◦ he had many 'friends', but only one true best friend (spoiler alert: its you!)
◦ wants to hang out with you all the time. if you have a class together you bet your ass he's sitting next to you. if there's a partner project you bet he's already told the teacher you're working together. if there's a school dance you're automatically his date.
◦ you guys cheat off of eachother's work. he'll give you his answers to the maths homework and you'll write his essays.
◦ work smarter not harder
◦ invites you to all of his parties !! and sports games !!
◦ introduces you to everyone. he absolutely adores you and wants everyone to know that you're his bestie.
◦ your biggest hype man. you could be doing the smallest of tasks and he'll be there cheering and whooping like a mad man
◦ very VERY protective over you. you guys are practically siblings, afterall. he takes on the protective older brother role and basically scares off anyone trying to even come close to you.
◦ at one point you gotta be like bro stop because as much as you appreciate the effort you don't wanna end up single your whole life
◦ will 100% get into fights to defend you. doesn't care who what or when,,,, if they talk shit they're getting hit
◦ constantly looks after you like a stressed mother. will make sure you've eaten, wipes food off your face, carries your schoolbooks, etc.
◦ overall a very loving and protective bestfriend <3
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❥ˏˋsoobin´ˎ˗
◦ since soobin is a natural leader, he's of course gonna be the class president
◦ takes his role VERY seriously. he genuinely cares about all the students and their well-being :((
◦ you guys met while walking through the hallway
◦ you were a new student, you had just transferred and ofc soobin wanted to meet you and show you around on your first day
◦ you, however, had woken up late and was now rushing to get to class
◦ you didn't know where it was though, so with your textbooks in one hand, phone in the other and the school map balancing on your forearm, you tried to find your way while speeding down the hall
◦ lemme tell ya bad idea bestie
◦ soobin finally found you and went to go introduce himself
◦ however, your dumb ass ran right into him !!!
◦ that 6ft giant basically sent you flying not literally but you did end up on the floor
◦ you were so stressed that tears started to form
◦ soobin felt so bad :(( so he offered to sit with you at lunch to make it up to you
◦ and that's how the friendship was formed !!
◦ he helps you out with your homework all the time. he really is the most amazing tutor, and will 100% give you snacks every time you finish a paragraph or equation
◦ regular study dates in the library is a MUST! sometimes though you fall asleep on the table, and he just stares at you in awe because he finds you so adorable :((
◦ whenever you're stressed he comes over to your house with a box of doughnuts, two mugs of hot chocolate and a movie for you to watch
◦ is a very big fan of platonic cuddling, and gets super flustered when you fall asleep on him
◦ whenever people ask him if you guys are dating he just gets super blushy because no !! just friends !!
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❥ˏˋbeomgyu ´ˎ˗
◦ time for this mf
◦ gyu was obviously the class clown
◦ everyone found him super funny and likeable
◦ but you were just never that interested. you didn't even really know who he was if you were being honest.
◦ beomgyu was honestly shocked when he discovered that he didn't live in your mind rent free 24/7, so he decided to make it a personal goal to make you pay attention to him
◦ would do little things like send you paper aeroplanes, throw spitballs, or purposely bump into you in the hallway
◦ you honestly just found these things annoying, so one day you turned around during art class to snap at him after he threw an eraser at your head
◦ this resulted in both of you getting a detention
◦ while you were in there you guys started to strangely get along
◦ thus, the friendship begun !
◦ you guys were definitely the most annoying little shits in the whole place
◦ would constantly get in trouble for talking too much or laughing too loud during class
◦ its not your fault you had a sense of humour 🙄
◦ would ditch class regularly to go do something fun such as skating or getting icecream
◦ beomgyu would show up at your house every morning so that y'all could take the bus together and plan how to be further menaces to society
◦ beomgyu encouraged you to live on the 'wild side' of life, and would sometimes get you to sneak out at 2am so that you could go stargazing
◦ you were both notorious at school for being the epitome of fun, and people were honestly jealous of your friendship
◦ would do crazy spontaneous things with you as well like dying your hair bright pink, having an eating contest or getting a nose piercing
◦ all in all just a very fun, bubbly best friend <3
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❥ˏˋtaehyun ´ˎ˗
◦ oh boy
◦ this was definitely an enemies to lovers friends type situation
◦ you guys knew eachother from primary school and oh man you guys did not get along
◦ you were an overachiever and tae was a child prodigy, so there was a lot of competition between you two for the best results
◦ so obviously when you got to highschool and saw him there, you were not happy he wasn't either babe don't worry the feeling is mutual
◦ you avoided eachother at all costs, but couldn't help and have academic arguments debates during class
◦ frankly the teacher was sick of it, so she decided to pair you guys up for the next project
◦ to say you were both pissed off was an understatement
◦ especially taehyun. mans was LIVID!
◦ you guys had to learn how to work together, which proved to be very awkward and not effective at all
◦ taehyun would always slide these little snarky comments about your work, which frustrated you completely
◦ you worked very hard and always felt the need to live up to everyone's expectations, so his comments could really hurt sometimes.
◦ taehyun would never admit it, but he secretly admired you and your work ethic. he was just really bad at conveying his emotions, so he decided to play the douchebag persona because it was easier :((
◦ it wasn't until he had made a particularly rude comment when you suddenly broke down in tears and left the classroom.
◦ taehyun felt like the biggest asshole as he should tf so he made it up to you by buying you a box of chocolates the next day
◦ he apologised and it was lowkey awkward but you were able to learn how to work together
◦ you found out that he wasn't as obtuse as you thought, and so decided to join forces and become friends
◦ you guys definitely intimidate everyone in the class. whenever you guys partner up for a project the class knows they're all failing
◦ you and tae help eachother with work you don't understand so that you can both succeed :)
◦ coffee dates after school where you guys just study and talk for hours on end
◦ taehyun understands what its like to be an overachiever, so he's always there to reassure you when you feel like you've failed
◦ you guys have matching notebooks (taehyun's idea - he thought it was cute)
◦ the teachers now absolutely adore you guys as you're no longer yelling at eachother during class <3
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❥ˏˋ kai ´ˎ˗
◦ you guys immediately became friends in homegroup
◦ you both had the same hello kitty pencil case which prompted a conversation
◦ you guys literally have the exact same energy !! he loves it !!
◦ you always get in trouble in class because of kai's dolphin laugh 😭
◦ he can't help it :((
◦ you guys love to trade lunches. of course i'll give you my apple for your sandwich, packet of chips and strawberry milk. of course that's a fair trade poor kai gets scammed by you all the time 😭
◦ matching stationery !! is !! a !! must !!
◦ if you don't wanna match with him he gets all sad :(( like cmon y/n that's our thing :((
◦ everyone thinks you guys are just adorable.
◦ kai always comes to your house afterschool so that you guys can study together
◦ no studying actually gets done though,,, y'all get too distracted by the temptation to make cupcakes
◦ gets you to do his makeup before school under the stairs. give him glitter eyeshadow and he'll feel like the prettiest boy in the world glitter really does that
◦ you guys share earphones on the bus ride home. if the bus driver gets annoyed by your horrible singing he doesn't say anything
◦ although thanks to you two the bus driver now knows twice's whole discography he better be thankful smh
◦ overall just a very pure and loving friendship <3
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pynkhues · 3 years
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Please recommend some of your fav Rio fics!
Of course, anon! Since you asked for Rio fics, I'm going to guess you meant Rio POV fics? If not, I'm sorry, haha, because that's what I've collated, but I hope you give these a shot regardless! They're all fics I think are pretty great. ;-)
Below a cut, because this got long.
But when he does reappear at the store—she still doesn't hear him coming, she needs to work on that—she's wearing a fuckin' dress, and he's glad she hasn't seen him yet because he can't stop himself from grinning.
Maybe it ain't for him, but given the fact that he doesn't think he's seen her legs since he came back—aside from that one night at the bar when she was definitely feeling herself—it seems like this is an intentional break in the pattern. Either way, he fuckin' loves the idea that she's been dressing up all week, not sure if he's coming but wanting to be ready if he does.
Now Use Both Hands by ms_scarlet / @mego42 6k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.
Ooooof, this fic causes me physical pain, but I love it a whole lot. Meg really captures Beth and Rio at their most acidic, their most sharp edged, while also managing to balance that with the feelings they desperately don’t want to have. It’s a bit magic, and the fact that she follows this up with another fave, Listening Through the Air Shaft is *chef’s kiss*.
- - - -
When he wakes, he's in a hospital bed, mouth dry as bone and he can taste blood, stale and metallic, on his tongue. The pain in his chest has been dulled by the drugs, but it still lingers, a persistent ache that spikes with every breath.
By all rights, he's a dead man walking.
Ten hours, they had him in surgery. From the look of his chart, he'd flatlined twice, and he can feel the consequences of that, see it in the bruises on his chest, the exhaustion lining the faces of his family. He'd woken to a little hand in his, Pop's cheeks damp with tears, and shit, it'd been close. Too close.
Bury a Friend by @ejunkiet >1k words. Mature. Beth x Rio S3 canon divergence.
Pivoting from 3.01, this fic is a wonderful, quiet character study that looks at Rio in the aftermath of the shooting before he explodes back into Beth’s life. It pulses with emotion and with the promise of catharsis, and it’s just a really special little fic. The Rio voice is terrific too.
- - - -
He finally gets what he needs one day when Elizabeth’s wearing this tight black sweater with a keyhole that shows off just enough to make Rio’s jaw rock. It’s so out of the ordinary, so unlike her ugly li’l sweaters or her surburban mama button-ups, he does a double take, head whippin’ around so fast that she catches it immediately. Then she catches where his gaze lands, where it keeps landin’ through their whole stilted, irritated conversation, and he sees her chest pinken til he can count her freckles. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, and her lips fall open just the smallest bit, and then she looks up at him.
Eyes locked on each other, Rio takes a step closer. Elizabeth doesn’t back away.
I Will Collect You and Capture You by @foxmagpie 17k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio S3 canon divergence.
I feel like I've recced this fic 1,200 times at this point, haha, but it really is one of my favourite fics in the fandom. It has this sort of grip on you as a reader that almost embodies Beth's grip on Rio in the story, and the way it builds and builds and releases only to build and build again is really delicious, affecting writing.
- - - -
“Com’n her and her lady friends were shakin’”
“Shakin’ about the lemon on the fuckin’ granite, sure.”
They chuckled as the car rolled on, the suburbs slipping away with the sun.
“Think they’ll pay up?”
There was a groan as Rio shifted in his seat, flexing his fingers along the dash.
“Neighborhood like this? Everybody knows someone who knows someone with a trust fund.”
Mick’s lighter flickered, followed by long, rasping inhale. “And a boat.”
Smoke swirled lazily through the open window up into the purple sky.
“And a boat.” Echoed Rio.
Drivin' through the Suburbs by gangfriend / @00gangfriend00 5k words. Teen+. Mick + Rio friendship, Beth x Rio. Canon compliant.
It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud in a fic, but this one does multiple times. It's just insanely fun, and captures Rio and Mick at their most boyish in a way I find utterly charming. It's really, really delightful.
- - - -
She’s got her crimes wrapped up and categorized in folders with labels and post-its. Wrapped up in gift paper with a big blue bow on it. And she’ll probably ask Turner do you want freshly baked cookies or some shit when they go raiding her kitchen.
Rio should really get it under control. Her, get her under control.
She opens the door and slumps onto the front seat, her eyes set angrily on him. Nineteen voicemails and she’s still got things to say: he sees it in the twitch of her hand, the restless, frustrated pattern. Any minute now she’s going to settle on new words to voice her complaints like he’s here to listen. Like he’s got the time— like he cares. Like he’d better.
It’s a Work Thing by isoldewas >1k words. Mature. Beth x Rio. 2.12 canon divergent.
I'm a bit of a sucker for a good canon divergent fic, and this one pivots the car break up in 2.12 in a smutty way that just works unfairly well. It's such a great little fic that really settles well into Rio's headspace during the messiness of s2, and I love it.
- - - -
They settle in their respective places and Rio takes the opportunity to give Elizabeth the same once over that asshole did. Her ass really does look great in those pants and she could fill out any shirt. Her eyes linger over him too, tracing his skin, the bar tattoos peeking out from under his t-shirt that she’s seen a million times but she devours at every opportunity. Then her eyes meet his and she gives him that small, crooked lil’ smile.
He’s not one for religion, but every so often he takes his mom to Spanish mass. All the viejitos and pious Catholic types think he’s a banger but his ma’s still excited to show him off. He sits with her in the pew and when the priest asks for the congregation to give thanks to God, he says a prayer for the riches that have come to him, the health and brilliance of his son, the vitality of the other little ones in his life now, and Elizabeth. And when he thinks of her in those moments, he sees her in his mind’s eye with this exact look on her face.
A Bit of a Stretch by @septiembrre 5k words. Teen+. Beth x Rio. Established relationship.
Beth and Rio do a yoga class together! There’s such a lived-in feel to this fic that it feels impossible not to fall a bit in love with it – their relationship is explored in a way that feels true to who the characters are, while sanding down the edges to create something that feels sweet in the way they usually aren’t in canon. It's a great fic, but more than that, it really just works in a way that's a lot more complicated than it looks, and it’s all the more charming for it.
- - - -
He’s happy to keep kissing her like this. To savour it. Realises she’s undone the last few buttons of his shirt at some point as she shoves it down his shoulders. Doesn’t have a second to think about his ugly scars pressed to her skin. Can just feel her little hot palms snaking up his back and grippin’ him tight. Refusing to let any light between them as they kiss for what feels like hours.
He realises these are the lips he’s been tasting. Searching for in other women when his night’s got too unbearably quiet, hunting for an echo of the thing he really wanted. Comin’ up short every damn time. Sweet and soft and lethal. Unique to her.
It’s longing in a way he’s never felt. This is the taste of it.
As Good as This by @riosnecktattoo 5k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. 4.05 canon divergence.
Okay, I know I just said how much I loved canon divergence fics, but it bears repeating – I love canon divergence fics, haha. This is such a great alternate take on how the wire scene in 4.05 goes down, and it simmers with tension from the opening line. The way it escalates as Rio navigates this newest betrayal works really well too, and it results in a pretty sexy and surprisingly emotional sequence. Magic!
- - - -
“Do we have a deal?” She asks.
When he turns to look at her she’s smiling, and that’s when he realizes he’s absolutely fucked. He’d just fucked himself out of almost a quarter of a million dollars. He lets his eyes drop down her body, licks his lips and nods.
“I choose the place,” he says and turns on his side to face her. “You owe me half - with interest,” he says and slides a hand into her hair. She’s damp, the sweat slowly cooling.
“That’s not what - “ she opens her mouth to protest and he takes that opportunity to slide his mouth across hers and lick into her mouth.
Long Nights by zetuslapetus / @querenaxx 2k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.
Rio and Beth bone while negotiating a deal! What's not to love, haha. This has such a fun checks and balances feel to it which just makes me want to peel my skin off, it's so good. It's exactly the way I like my Beth and Rio - hot and snarky and constantly trying to get a leg over the other, literally and figuratively. It's the best.
- - - -
He should go out and find someone to fuck. Maybe text one of his hookups. See if Jen’s working. He has options.
He knows what he should do.
But it turns out fucking other people is a worse hell than the one they create when they’re together.
And now that he’s yielded to this wicked ecstasy, he knows he’ll do anything to keep sitting in the fire with her.
To Sit in Hell with You by @daydreamstew 2k words. Beth x Rio. Explicit. s4 canon divergence.
Canon-divergent from 4.06 – Beth and Rio keep hooking up after the time at his grandma’s place. It’s fun and sexy while also keeping the complicated push-pull and lack of communication at the heart of them. Deeelightful.
- - - -
“Does it make it easier?” Maddie asks him once they’re spent, maybe emboldened because he has already brought her into their bed. Which may be unfair, because Lee had been in their bed from the beginning.
“What?” He seems lost in his thoughts, his arm behind his head. In a few minutes he’ll get up and get ready to get back to the factory. Like always, she’ll be looking for her keys so she won’t be late for work.
“Getting it out of your system before you see her.”
Rio glances at her. “I don’t always see you when I see her.”
It’s so rare for him to explicitly mention this woman, however tenuously, and Maddie waits for more. Rio’s gotten like this about a few women in his life but it doesn’t happen often.
Sure am Using You by aniara 2k words. Explicit. Rio x OC, Rio x Beth.
It's not for everyone, but I absolutely love fics that feature characters with other people in ways that tell you something about the characters' feelings about somebody else. In this fic, Rio's fucking one of his childhood friends, but it's all about Beth really, and the way both Rio and the OC negotiate that is really compelling writing, and feels so in character for Rio. I really love it.
- - - -
Rio dreams of her that night, again. It’s irritatingly pedestrian – Elizabeth’s kissing him deep and then, ah, suddenly his gun’s in her hand and she shoots him, with a double encore. It’s always variations on the same futile theme. When he wakes it’s not that he’s freaked, unaware of reality or his whereabouts. But he’s been soaked in anger for so long. He can’t think straight, not on her. It’s honestly terrifying. Cos stubbornly keeping his head on right is – that’s him. Maybe her entire raison d’etre is destroying every single one of his attributes though.
He ain’t sure if his subconscious is desperately screaming that he’s made the wrong move, letting her live. Or if it’s the total opposite. Could be fucking neither. It’s not – it’s not getting any easier. And that main reason for not biting the bullet, that he’d be mad as hell for being mad as hell at himself over killing her, it's not smelling any less idiotic.
Climbing up the Walls by s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe 8k words. Explicit. Beth x Rio. S3 canon divergence.
Another canon divergence from 2.13 and an interpretation of how s3 could've gone, and another one I really love. There's a throughline of chaotic frustration to this fic that rings true to Rio's character for me, and the way that that reverberates through his moments not just with Beth, but alone and with other women, feels really textured and interesting and real. It's pretty great.
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voidselfshipp · 3 years
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Tender heart
Ok to rb
Cw:violence, underwater scene and food ment.
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Jerico yawned stretching on the bed,her foot hits someones legs and she quickly snaps around.
Luckily wamai hasnt woken up yet.
She sighed figuring she must of have Fallen asleep while talking to him.
She couldnt quite place it,bit when talking to the kenyan Man there was something about his voice that was just so comforting, and it felt like home.
She stood up out of bed, a familiar sensation of claws appeared on her shoulder signaling that sunshine was awake.
Jeri opens the blinds, the perks of working here is that she gets a beautiful view of the sea.
Hearing the bed rustling she smiles as the Man Turned to face her still asleep.
"Cute"she thinks to herself as she walks to her closet,trying to make the smallest ammount of noise possible as to not wake up the Man.
She takes her trusty turtle neck sweater and some other clothes and pair of combat boots to then sneak out the door and walk to the showers.
She took maybe an hour in the shower,figuring by now that ngugi would be awake and gone.
Nope,hes still asleep.
Jer found it both amusing and cute, she sat besides him softly stroking his curly hair.
--hey ngugi, wake up--she said softly,the Man grunts and opens his eyes.
Her hand retreats from his hair and she smiles.
--morning--his voice is deep and raspy, he sits up stretching and making his neck pop--what hour is it?
--Its like...six am , why?
The Man quickly jumps out of bed--Ive got to go quickly! Kali is going to kick my ass if I dont get there right now
Jerico stood up giggling at the sudden informalness of wamai, putting a hand on his shoulder--First you need a shower and some food,hurry your ass up and meet me at the cafeteria--the Man stutters an excuse- ah-ah no ifs and or buts, shower and food first
She pats his chest playfully and walks outside with her eagle flying behind her.
The kenyan Man looks away and chuckles to himself, she surely was interesting.
While jerico waited for ngugi she sat there on the cafeteria with a couple of books and some paperwork.
--¿en que estamos trabajando?--(what are we working on?) She smiled at the familiar accent.
--Nada boludeces del trabajo(nothing just some silly work things).
Flores chuckles,resting his head on his hand-- tenes una pinta de cansada (you look tired)
Jeri nodded stretching-- odio tener que levantarme temprano boludo--(I hate having to wake up early dude)
He nodds in agreement, And they talk for a bit, shed laugh at his jokes and he would at hers, with the ocasional flirting in between.
Wamai however did not find this amusing as the second he entered the cafeteria he heard jeris laughs,his blood seemed to boil as he noticed who was with her.
--Im sorry but this spot Is taken--he said slamming a hand on the table.
--Hey Man--santiago said--we just talkin' a Man cant talk with his friend?
Another stern look forced the Argentine Man to leave,not before winking at jerico and patting her arm--bueno me rajan, me voy preciosa--(aight,theyre throwing me out, goodbye beautiful) he said walking away.
She giggles turning to wamai--Jeez jealous much ngugi?
Wamai sighs--My apologies I.. I dont know what took over me
Jeri shakes her head with a soft smile-- its okay, it was rather cute, but go get your food come on
After eating breakfast both went to their responsabilities.
--Bueenas!--(hello!)she said walking to Zero who was happy to see her.
--Hey, youre here what took ya so long?
She shrugged pulling her fluffy jacket closer,it was a rather windy day.
--Come here--he opened his jacket and she hid under it.
--Thanks
--Dont mention it
At one point jerico herself had to train, under her sweater was a sports top.
Now maybe it was the fact that she didnt sleep that well, maybe the fact that she had her mind in the clouds,but she was getting her ass handed to her in hand to hand combat.
This came with the sassy remarks of kali as jeri called it a day and was putting her sweater and blazer back on.
--If thats how her father trained her, I cant imagine how himself must be, a miracle he didnt die on the Battlefield
Jers hearing was somewhat supernatural, because for starters she wasnt one-hundred percent human.
She grunted trying to Keep her composture picking up her bag with sunshine perched on her shoulder.
Another sassy remark came as she Walked past jaimini--all those medals her father has? They are worthless,how did he let his daughter go into the military?, she inst built for this.
She Turned around walking to kali--the fuck you said to me?
Wamai who was running on the threadmill approached both women.
The other operators, specially smoke and mute took a look at what was happening.
--Im just saying that you and your father arent military material--jamini said-- you got your ass handed to you,If this is how the von-terras fight then its a miracle you made it this F--
She didnt finish because jerico punched her right on the nose, smoke and mute jump in keeping her from kicking kalis ass.
Wamai holds back his boss who looks at jerico in surprise.
--talking shit about me? I dont mind, but dont you ever, EVER talk about my father like that,Next time I wont be too kind,sushine nos vamos (we're leaving)
The eagle flied behind her owner, she should probably get her bloody knuckles checked,but that didnt matter at the moment.
Harry would totally hear about that fight one way or another, but that wasnt important right now.
She sat there in her Office looking at the painting of her dad and her when she was young.
How old was she?,she cant recall the exact number but she does remember that painting.
She smiled as the sunrays hit the painting.
--i hope im not interrupting anything-- Zero said.
--Not at all Sam, what happened?
The Man sat infront of her--Harry got Word of what happened during training, hes letting this one pass because you were justified, he'll talk with kali and he recomended you take the Next two days off
--And you came all this way for that?
Fisher stood up and Walked over to her giving her a quick hug.
She hugged back--Thanks..I really needed it
--And another thing, youre Burning up
Jer nodds lifting her hands from her desk in order to not literally set it ablaze.
The only three people that knew about jericos "identity" were Harry,Sam and ash.
She did as she was told and at night she went for a swim in the beach.
The water sizzled as she entered all the rage dissipated in the water as she quietly sings to herself.
She felt a pair of arms hugging her from behind--may I join you?
She chuckled and softly elbowed wamai on the stomach --Yeah you May
Both talk quietly,trying to avoid the topic of todays fight, even then they were still Friends.
--Hey wanna see something cool?--She asked
--uh...sure?
--follow me!-- she dived under the water and he did the same, they were far off the shore, walking on the sand.
Wamai was puzzled at the fact that she wasnt holding her breath but rather...breathing underwater.
Its the same thing that always catched his attention, she seemed to be super human almost
Hes about to say something but then a soft glow catched his attention what ngugi saw he couldnt Belive.
Massive fishes of every color,they glowed Giant octopi casually swiming above them.
And a song, he couldnt hear the words,but It came from the sea, he felt the beat in his whole body, as if the Ocean was speaking to him
Jerico let him walk around the fish for a bit, finding the cuteness of his Curiosity endearing.
But eventually they had to leave.
They Swim back to the shore.
--Wasnt that cool?
--How did you knew about that? How come i never saw any of that while diving?
Jer giggled putting a hand on his shoulder--Sometimes things dont want to be seen
She offered her hand and he took it walking close to her with her head on his shoulder..
They arrived to the dormitories--And...wamai one thing..
--Yeah?
--Nor kali, or anyone can know about what you saw, got it?
He nodded, and softly stopped jerico from leaving, taking her hand--Thanks for showing me that...its nothing like I ever seen..
He took some steps forward, and so did she.
He leaned in and she did the same.
Jerico cups his cheeks and kisses him, he kissed back tilting his head, leaning a bit.
They press their foreheads togheter.
--Ill see you later then?
He nodds kissing her again--sweet dreams jerico
--Sweet dreams ngugi
When she got to her room she collapsed on the bed sighing like a fool in love.
Sunshine curled besides her,looking at her owner with a smug smile.
Jer rolled her eyes softly passing out minutes after.
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mininky · 5 years
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Crash Landing
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Summary: Jung Hoseok. Notorious hot dude on campus. Excellent dancer. Bad boy. Tattoos. Your best friend’s older brother. There were a lot of reasons why he was a terrible idea. Scratch that, fucking awful life ruining idea. But hey, you’re here to win ‘dumbest idea of the century’ award apparently.
Pairing: Dancer!Hoseok x  Uni Student!reader (fem)
Genre: Slow Burn, best friend’s older brother AU, Uni AU, smut, romance
Warnings: mentions of divorce, mentions of Hobi having been cheated on, protected sex, oral sex (fem. receiving), Hoseok with tattoos 
Word Count: 13.4K
   Meeting Hoseok had been a freak event unlike anything else in your mostly uneventful life, and in that way, it was completely fitting. He had quite literally stumbled into your life. Well, crash landed is more like it. While seated on a bench spacing out into another dimension that was void of any sentient thought after finals he had face planted into the bush right next to you. You're not sure how long you'd been sitting there on the bench, possibly long enough to grow moss, and really you didn't think that anything could get you to move from your spot. You were on the fast track to becoming a Buddhist monk until Hoseok's ill-timed passing out had finally gotten you to move. At a lightning speed that you didn't think was possible after five finals back to back in one day fueled by sheer willpower and too much caffeine to be safe for human consumption you were next to him.
   You had been convinced at the lack of protest or noise at falling face first into a very thorny bush that the man had most certainly died. Fight or flight responses had miraculously kicked on and as adrenaline surged the first thing you thought to do instead of asking him if he was okay was to slap his face as hard as possible. He groaned but otherwise didn't stir until you started to pull out your phone with trembling hands to call 911. You recognized him as his hands suddenly came up to move the phone away with surprising strength. The man you were sure was dying in front of you was none other than Jung Hoseok. Your best friend's older brother, who normally looked the spitting image of the sun and good health in all of the pictures you'd seen of him but now looked closer to a strung out druggy who took one hit too many. You've also noticed that he has a ton of tattoos that weren't in any of the pictures you've seen of him. Intricate poke and needle types, all littered around his arms.
   "Holy shit, Hoseok?" He groaned again before struggling to sit up, hand clawing away some leaves and thorns stuck in his hair.
   "Please don't call 911. I don't have insurance. Just tired. Please let me sleep." With that, his head slumped back with an unnervingly loud thwack on the concrete.
   You had a few options at this point.    Option #1: Leave and just let him possibly die of a concussion after hitting his head that hard    Option #2: call your best friend and let her know that her brother is dying and won't let you call 911 because of his lack of health insurance    Option #3: slap him again, try to get him to move and drag him back to wherever he lives    Option #4 (should probably be the first but your brain is fried and adrenaline is a hell of a drug): call 911 anyways and then be forced to work three jobs and drop out of school to pay the medical bills you've forced on him    Option #5: try to drag him yourself back to your dorm which is only a short distance from the very bench you've been spacing out at.
   You went with a combination of option five and three. In which you slapped him (open-palmed and left a beautiful red mark behind and your palm stinging unpleasantly) and forced him to get up. In a bizarre zombie state he slumped over your shoulder and it took you the longest fifteen minutes of your life to finally get into your dorm and throw him into your bed. Now you'd like to lie and say that at this point you tried to give some sort of shitty and iffy medical aid, but your own exhaustion had taken over and you'd fallen asleep slumped at the edge of your bed only five minutes later.
   It was hours later that you'd finally woken up to the sound of Hoseok stirring and groaning before freaking out at his unknown surroundings. "Where the fuck am I? Who are you? What the fuck is going on?"
   "Wow, first of all, I'd appreciate a thank you for carrying your deceptively heavy ass up three flights of stairs when you were mostly unconscious. Second of all, I'm (Y/N), your knight in shining armor and also I happen to be Sam's best friend. You biffed it face first into a bush and told me not to call 911 and that you just needed to sleep. So after slapping you...twice actually...I carried you into my room." You wipe away a few crusties from your eyes as you look at the man in front of you.
   He's unnervingly handsome. In a way that makes you wonder how humans can be created his way. Perfectly well-shaped nose, a jaw that's both soft and chiseled, pouty lips, hair that flops in that painfully sexy disheveled way that some men spend hours to get just so for a picture on Instagram but refuse to admit that they did, eyes that hold a hint of playful mystery in their murky brown gaze. Even with bags under his eye and lackluster pallor from finals week he still looks like he deserves sculptures and shrines dedicated to him.  
   But the real sucker punch gut-wrenching charm was his laugh. The way his eyes crinkled up and perfect teeth shined as he heard this news had all the breath forced out of you slowly like a careful pinprick to a balloon. You should have known then that nothing good could come from Jung Hoseok. You should have known. But instead, you just stared up at him the floor like you were staring straight at the sun. So dazzlingly beautiful that looking right at it caused physical pain, although looking at him didn't cause you to sneeze at least.
   "Well, thank you for saving me oh knight in shining armor. Also, sorry for bailing every time Sam asks me to hang out with you guys. But you know, if the guys see me hanging out with freshman girls there will be inevitable questions and then I'll have to fight a horde of douchebags to protect my sister or whatever so really I've been doing you guys a favor." He gets up from the bed, carefully so as to not kick you straight in the face as you scramble off your knees and walk over to the door with him. "Oh, and do me a favor. Don't tell my sister. As far as you're concerned this never happened and you never met me."
   Just like that Hosoek was gone, as if he hadn't stumbled face first into a bush and nearly died. As if he hadn't made your finals addled brain nearly short circuit and all the breath leave your lungs from simply laughing. You kept your end of the bargain. You never told Sam what happened. Partially because you were convinced that it never did actually happen. You were sure that you had conjured up an obscure illusion or that it all had been some sort of strange dream. Until you met Hoseok again that is.
   It would be another three months before you would be destined to see Hoseok again. This time he would have that natural glow back to his skin, and the bags under his eyes were gone. Sam had dragged you to the coffee shop he worked at, fueled with a rage that was rather unnatural for her as she slammed into the quiet business with steam coming out of her ears and foam around the mouth as she tore into her brother with little care of innocent bystanders in her path. "Oy, you. You think you're too good to text me back asshole?"
   "Sam, not now. I'm working." He glanced at the one lone customer sitting at the worn leather couch three feet away who was staring openly at the debacle unfolding in front of him.
   "It's always not now! You're always too busy for me!" You made the mistake of trying to slip away, but Sam was too quick for you. She grabbed your hand before lighting back into her brother. "It's one thing to skip out on me, but really? Skipping out on dinner with mom last night?"
   "Shit, that was last night? I thought that was supposed to be tonight. God, I'm so sorry Sammy, I promise I'll make it up to you and mom. I promise."
   The beast would not be tamed, however. Sam, you're typically sweet best friend had a side to her that luckily rarely showed. The angry side. The side that could be heard across the county. The side that would slash all your tires. "Well, you fucking better Jung Hoseok." With that, she turned around and dragged you out of the coffee shop while you tried mouthing 'I'm so sorry' to the bewildered and painfully embarrassed Hoseok.
   Sam would later explain that she brought you along for the wild ride for two reasons. First, so you could stop her from committing a crime. Secondly, but most importantly, because you were the one with a car and she didn't want to pay for an uber over to the coffee shop.
   You know that in her heart of hearts Sam was angrier at the general shit show her family had turned into than Hoseok per se. He had just been the one closest in proximity and therefore the line of fire. Her parents were getting divorced, her family falling apart, and Hoseok had just kind of ghosted her. Bullshit reasons about fighting off the guys or whatever that had been earlier weren't good enough. She was angry at being abandoned. By her parents, by her brother, by the world. College was supposed to be the start of freedom, but for her, it had started in shambles. The two of you hadn't known each other before university, but you were in the same major and worked at the same small used bookstore and had fast become friends and then inseparable best friends. She spent more nights than you could count on the floor of your dorm just to get away from it all, and because you had lucked out and gotten the smallest room that was honestly more like a closet and could only house one bed so you had no roommate.  
   After that incident, she had broken into a fit of angry tears in your room and explained all of this to you. A word vomit of pain, anger, and angst. This all should have done something to dispell Hoseok to you, and yet it hadn't. Instead, you wondered what was going on in his head. You were curious about how and why he had withdrawn from his sister when she explained that before he went away to school they were closer than close. That he had always been her protector, her best friend. Sure they fought, they were siblings after all, but they were each other's rocks. Until he was just gone. And she thought going to the same school as him would fix it. Instead, the distance somehow felt larger now. So close in proximity but emotionally miles and miles away. Again, this should have shattered the perfect image of Hoseok that had been crafted in your brain after that odd encounter months ago but instead, it lent depths and layers to the man that made you want to peel everything back and study it closely.
   The third time you would meet Hoseok would be proof that the first encounter had, in fact, happened. It was two in the morning approximately a month later. You stumbled out of bed in a zombie state, sure that the only person who could possibly be knocking on your door this late at night could be Sam. It wasn't (unfortunately) entirely uncommon with her insane sleep schedule. So when you swung the door open in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear you could feel all color drain from your face at the sight of a very tired and sweaty Hoseok standing in front of you.
   "I know this is going to sound really weird, but my girlfriend and I broke up and I've been crashing couches but my friend has someone over tonight so then I tried sleeping in the library but it was just too uncomfortable so would you mind if I crash here? I noticed last time you didn't have a roommate. I can take the floor." Now you had two options at this point. (You're too tired to come up with 5 this time, thank god it was a lot of work having to detail your thoughts last time. You really should stop overthinking, I'm a little worried for you at this point. Sorry, I'll get back to the story.)    Option #1: slam the door on his face and crawl back into bed. You don't technically know him and it's not your problem.    Option #2: have pity on this painfully good-looking man and kiss a decent night's sleep goodbye because lord knows you won't be able to sleep when he's in the same room as you a second time.
   You went with option number two. Who are you kidding, you aren't evil enough to go with option number one. You just pray that his new distance with his sister and break up with his girlfriend isn't because he's actually secretly a serial killer and is going to chop you up into tiny bits. Although...on the plus side of that...no student loans!
   You opened the door wider and stepped off to the side. Covering your mouth for any offending morning breath as you spoke. "Sure, I've got an extra pillow and blanket too." You wanted to say more. There were so many questions about this random appearance, but really you didn't feel it was very polite to ask any of them. Not that knocking on the door of a near stranger at two in the morning to see if you can crash there is polite, but really one of you needs to respect boundaries. Right?
   "Thanks, I really appreciate it. Free coffee and baked goodies for life when I'm on shift. I promise." He stretched and let out a loud yawn as you tried to grab a pillow and blanket for him without bending over. He took them from your hands gingerly and you watched him try to get comfortable on the floor before you turned around, shut off the light, and crawled back into bed.
   You tried counting sheep. You tried doing simple math. You tried willing sleep to come. But everything brought your thoughts back around in a vicious cycle to the man laying on your floor. The man you knew almost nothing about. Save that he was your best friend's older brother, worked in a coffee shop, and went to the same school as you. Dance major, and that had earned him being cut off from his family financially if you remembered correctly. But that doesn't mean you know him. You've never actually had a proper conversation with him.
   At the sound of you stirring in bed once again you can hear his gravely voice from the floor calling out to you. "Can't sleep (y/n)?"
   You thought about playing dead or asleep or whatever. But figured there was no point. So instead you mumbled a quiet, "yeah."
   "Me neither. Can't sleep for shit lately." He pauses for a moment before sighing. "I'm sorry for just showing up here. I know we don't know each other, but I wasn't sure where else to go."
   "Nah, it's cool. Mi casa es su casa." You can hear him give one of those small snort laughs, the kind that's more like a loud exhale through the nose, and you can feel little butterflies start to hit your ribcage.
   "Well, I really appreciate it." You wait for a moment before calling out to him.
   "Are you okay, Hosoek?"
   "Ah, the million dollar question. I don't know. Are any of us?" There's something about the way his brooding words contrast sharply with his typically sunny appearance that has your heart singing. All of those layers around his heart built up like an impenetrable fortress has your curiosity in overdrive. It's not a safe place, you know that. But there's something about Hoseok that just lights things up around you.
   You've never been interested in another man this way. Every single person you've ever dated or hooked up with has been out of convenience. You were actually starting to question if you were some subcategory of Asexual. If there was a sexual category for people who couldn't hold romantic interest but did still get horny. That's a thing right? Aromantic? But Hoseok, now Hoseok is the type of guy that you can picture curled up next to after sex tracing at all of his tattoos and talking about everything and nothing for hours at a time. The type of guy that makes you start to understand why high school crushes are so painful. And you know it's slightly irrational. You know next to nothing about him, but god do you want to. If you could change your major to Hoseok you fucking would.  
   After a long pause, he starts talking again. His voice hoarser, as if he's trying to hold back tears. Or maybe he is crying, you can't tell in the dark. "No, I'm not okay. And I don't think I have been for a really long time. My parents weren't exactly the loving type. I tried my best to be there for Sam, but the moment I could get my freedom I took it. I rebelled, and my father cut me off for it as I'm sure she told you. But I didn't care. I was finally free. I was finally doing what I wanted, and I met this girl. I thought she was the love of my life. The one, you know? Listen, I don't normally give good advice but never date someone who tattoos you because it's going to end and you're going to wish that you didn't get all of them from her. I used to go into the shop just to see her. And then we started dating. And then she started cheating. And now we're not together and I don't have a place to live and it's middle of the year so I can't do dorms again and apartments are way too expensive. My boss said he'll give me the room in the back of the coffee shop tomorrow after he clears everything out, so at least after tonight I'll have a place to stay. But everything's a mess. My family is a mess, I'm a giant fucking mess, my grades have been slipping lately and I might lose my scholarships, and I've been homeless for a week now."
   Why did you have to really like the guy with all the baggage? The one with neon blinking signs that say 'no trespassing!' The best friend's older brother who has serious emotional issues to hammer out who's spilling his guts to a near stranger at three in the morning? And why is it that you have the emotional skills of a fucking rock at this moment? "Wow, that fucking sucks man." Really, that's all you can muster up? You tack on, "I'm sorry," for good measure.
   "You don't have anything to be sorry about. I'm sorry for dumping this all on you. I uh...I don't usually talk about this kind of stuff. To anyone. I guess you're just easy to talk to."
   "You should try talking more about it. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled in, you know?" You can hear him shuffle on the pillow, nodding his head you assume while you try not to squeal when he said you were easy to talk to.
   "How's Sam doing by the way? I've been a really shitty brother..."
   "Good right now. She had a few mental breakdowns, but she's on the quick road to recovery. She's taking the family falling apart in stride. She said that she kind of always knew this would happen, I think the harder thing has been the lack of contact with you. But don't worry, I won't tell her anything you told me. Just...talk to her when you're ready." You pause for a moment, trying to organize your thoughts before you add softly, "you know it's not always a bad thing for something to fall apart. Think of this as a new clean slate. There's still plenty of time this semester to pull your grades back up. And like you said you've got a place to stay lined up. And your parents...well there's nothing you can do about that. It honestly sounds like it was all for the better from the stories I've heard. Just...work on things one at a time. Don't try to do everything at once because then you won't do anything. And if things ever feel overwhelming like I said, mi casa es su casa. Think of me as like the emergency friend therapist or whatever."
   "Thanks (y/n)..." You can feel your cheeks heat up from the tone of his quiet voice and pray that your voice doesn't sound too squeaky when you call out a quiet goodnight.
   The next morning Hoseok is already gone by the time you wake up at ten. He's folded up the blanket and left a note on top of the pillow. "(y/n), thanks again for everything. If you ever need anything just let me know. (###) ###-####. -Hobi."
   It wasn't fair the way your heart hammered away first thing in the morning. It also was admittedly really creepy that the next thing you did was pick up the blanket to see if it smelled like him. It did. And you very much approve of his cologne choice. It's woodsy and citrusy and you're incredibly thankful that no one is around to see your face buried in the blanket. After your brain clicks back on and you realize that you're a certifiable creep at this point you slowly enter him as a contact. A strange, unfamiliar part of you wanted to give him some cutesy name but you realize how bizarre that would look and instead you simply enter him in as 'Hoseok' with no additional heart emojis.
   Part of you really wants to text him. Perhaps use the excuse of checking up on him, because you were actually really curious. There was a lot going on in his life and by the sounds of it he was cracking under pressure and not talking to anyone about it. Instead, though you simply stare at the contact, take a deep breath, and get ready for work.
-----------------three weeks later--------------------
   "Oh, come on (y/n), it'll be fun! Please? You always turn down my party invites but I promise this one won't be too over the top. It's not even at a frat house or anything!" You try not to glare in Sam's direction as you put away the last of the books received in this morning. You aren't exactly a party person. You're the mom friend, that's your role and while you don't readily admit it it's the truth. You're the friend that at parties always inevitably gets stuck trying to corral your pathetic, drunk, and often times sick friends back home. Which is why you don't do parties. That and they make you slightly claustrophobic. It's not that you hate people, you just prefer more conversationally stimulating environments than a party has to offer. Also, you hate the smell of shitty beer and body odor, which is the main fragrance of all college parties. And random creepy drunk dudes who smell like said hated fragrance mixed with cheap body spray trying to get into your pants? Yeah, that's a big no for you.
   "Sam, I don't know. I mean, you know how I feel about parties. Listen, I love you. And I love hanging out with you. But I've seen you drunk, and it ain't pretty. Besides, I still have that paper I need to finish for my Lit class." You try to avoid her potent puppy eyes as you walk behind the counter to slap price stickers on the rest of the books.
   "Listen, if you don't wanna go that's fine. But like, when's the last time you got some? It's been months since you broke up with Aaron, and from the sounds of it he didn't know how to find a clit so do yourself a favor and just come with me for a little bit? If there are no guys there that spark your interest ditch me. But don't use the paper as an excuse to stay in your fortress for another lame Saturday. It's not even due for another week and you're already in editing phase. We literally had that conversation half an hour ago." You make the mistake of glancing over at Sam. She's giving you more than just puppy eyes, she's even giving you a full quivering bottom lip. Ugh, why do you have to be such a sucker for her?
   "Fine. Fine, I'll go." You hold up your hand as she starts squealing, "But I make no promises on staying for very long."
------------------------
   Two hours later and you're nursing a warm Smirnoff ice in the corner. Not surprisingly thirty minutes ago almost immediately after entering the party, Samantha ditched you for a guy who looks like he does keg stands professionally. You swear she has the worst taste in men. The obnoxious little voice in the back of your head cackles at the sentiment, reminding you that at least Sam isn't pining after a guy who just so happens to be her best friend's brother that she knows next to nothing about other than he has a mountain of baggage and most certainly isn't interested. You take a swig of the warm, sweet drink in spite until your eyes lock onto the man standing in front of you. You're pretty sure you have a class with him, what was his name again?
   "Jimin." Shit, can he read minds? "Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out you just looked like you were trying to place my name. We share that intro to lit class."
   "Ah, yeah sorry about that I'm-"
   "(Y/N), yeah I know. You're kind of hard to forget."
   "Oh." You'll admit, Jimin is very cute. But cute is really the key word for him, and try as you might to summon an urge to jump his bones you just don't feel anything. There's no spark there, no lust to drag him into the nearest bed and explore all he has to offer. Too bad getting over a one-sided crush isn't that simple.
   Jimin is about to say something, but he's soon tackled by someone behind him. "Dude, it took me forever to find you. Yoongi's refusing to play beer pong on my team. Please, help me?" Jimin narrows his eyes on the other guy before swiveling back to you, his lips jutting out into a formidable puppy pout that your sure would make most women swoon.
   "Do you wanna come with? You looked a little bored." You should say no, you should just crawl back into the comforting confines that is your bed and pray to whatever deity to allow you to go back to a normal life where you didn't know a demigod walked the campus but no instead you fall prey to the puppy pout. Again damnit. (Y/N): 0, puppy eyes: 2.  
   "Sure." Jimin looks triumphant as he grabs your hand and weaves through the throngs of people until you arrive at the back porch where things seem to be much more comfortably quiet. Until you lock eyes with the earlier mentioned demigod himself.
   "(Y/N)?" Hoseok stares at you in disbelief for a moment in front of the beer pong table, before smiling. Oh god, that smile. You swear you can feel your heart trying to escape from you again, you can hear corny Disney music playing in the background, an angel halo placed above his head as a random backlight makes his tan glow nearly gold until you blink away the momentary insanity. You wish you could blame all of that on alcohol, but you haven't had nearly enough liquid courage to induce that montage.
   "Uh, hey." Fuck, why did you have to say uh? Jimin is staring at the interaction and oh god, he knows. He fucking knows. And you can't kill him, not here. Too many witnesses. Instead, you'll just have to pray for the world to open up and swallow you whole. Or a zombie to come over and take you first in the zombie apocalypse. Jimin, thank the sweet heavens, doesn't say anything. He just looks at the two of you a moment before winking at you and taking his place across from Hoseok.
   "You ready to go down, Hobi?" The other boy looks eager to start, he's stretching his wrists while glaring at the other team.
   You cast a glance behind you and take a seat at an empty bench to watch it all unfold. The boy that roped Jimin into all of this is Taehyung, and the one on Hoseok's team is Namjoon. Yoongi, the one who refused to play, at some point ambled over to you and offered a cigarette before beginning to loudly tell you why everyone playing sucks each time they miss. You're assuming based off of the shit eating grin on his face that he's doing it solely to mess everyone up, and it works on just about everyone. Except for Hoseok, who seems completely unaffected.
   It doesn't take long before everything is over and Jimin and Taehyung are forced to chug the remaining drinks. You polish off the last of your sugary alcoholic drink and start looking for the nearest escape before Hoseok is ambling over towards you.
   "Hey, I didn't expect to see you here. Is Sam here?" You nod quietly before slowly adding.
   "I wouldn't...uh...go looking for her though." Hoseok sighs and nods before sitting next to you on the bench.
   "You don't seem like much of a party person."
   "I'm really not. But it's nice out here, it's quiet." You glance over to see Jimin giving a now very drunk Yoongi a ride on his back. "Your friends are interesting."
   Hoseok snorts. "They're idiots, but loveable."
   "Did you get that room situation at the cafe all figured out?"
   "Yup, got all my stuff moved in and everything. Thanks for not telling Sam by the way. I've been talking to her you know."
   "I know, she's been over the moon about it. Oh, you know your mom is coming over next week?"
   "How do you know this and I don't?" Hoseok sighs but adds a quiet thanks.
   "Oh, uh, sorry. But, I know that they're planning on doing dinner again. I think we're going to Olive Garden, which means plenty of breadsticks to swipe."
   "We're?"
   "I was invited." Hoseok chuckles at this before shaking his head.
   "I think I should be offended that I've been replaced."
   "You haven't been replaced by me. I'm telling you all this so you can make sure to talk to your mom if you want to go. Or avoid it like the plague, it's your choice."
   "Thank you. I suppose I've done enough avoiding though, I'll try texting her." At this point an awkward silence begins to fall and before you start babbling you decide to finally make your exit.
   "Well, I should probably get going. I'll see you around." Hoseok jumps up, shaking his head.
   "I'll walk you home." He holds up his hand as you start to protest. "I need to get going anyways and you're on the way. Besides, it'll give me a great excuse to get out of here before they try to wrangle me into another round."
   You nod and start to walk forward before you call out behind you, "I'll see you in class tomorrow, Jimin!" Jimin sends a bright smile to you and waves, sending another all too knowing wink before Yoongi accidentally (at least you hope it's accidentally) starts strangling him.
   You weave your way to the back gate with Hoseok in close proximity as you start quietly making your way to your dorm. There's a lot that you want to say, but you aren't sure really what you should say. After all telling him that he's breathtakingly handsome probably won't end well. You mean, it might, but probably just for a night and for once you're not really interested in catch and release.
   "So...you never texted me."
   "Well...I haven't exactly had a need to." Oh god, you sound so harsh. "I mean, I didn't really want to bother you unless I really needed help or something. I figure you're pretty busy."
   You glance over at Hoseok to see him...smiling? He's actually smiling? "Well, it doesn't have to be an emergency or anything. Text me, whenever you want. I mean it (y/n). I appreciate all the help you've given me, so even if you just need someone to like vent to or something I'm here for you." God, he isn't helping matters. Why can't he be an asshole that you could just hatefuck and get everything out of your system? "Looks like we're here. Have a good night (y/n). It was nice seeing you again."
   "Um, you too Hoseok!" You turn away quickly and dash into the dorm. Never have you been more grateful for your tiny dorm room and not having a dormmate before as you squeal into your pillow before flipping onto your back and staring at your phone.
   It feels like ages before you finally type out on the too bright screen, "Did you make it home okay?"
   You get a response just a moment later.
[Hoseok]: Yes mom
   You groan before staring at the typing bubble pop up and disappear repeatedly. God, what is he typing? Why won't he just fucking say it? Does he hate you? Did he not really mean it when he said to text him whenever? Do you look clingy? CURSE THOSE THREE PERIODS! Oh god. You heaved a sigh of relief when you finally see the text appear.
[Hoseok]: Just kidding, it was nice seeing you again btw
[you]: How have things been going for you btw?
[Hoseok]: Better, I took your advice. I'm doing better in my classes, I've been talking to Sam more. Things are starting to actually look up.
[you]: That's great! I'm glad things are doing better!
[Hoseok]: How about you though? Any dudes I should beat up?
   Have you just been banished to the sister realm? You're pretty sure you have been.
[You]: No I'm pretty boring. Just trying to finish all of my papers.
[Hoseok]: what's your major?
[You]: Creative writing, made the mistake of taking ten classes this semester, and most of them are morning lectures.
[Hoseok]: Are you a superhuman? Like, how???
[You]: I've given up on free time
[Hoseok]: You sound like you need a break
[you]: When I space out too long I can actually hear my grades falling
[Hoseok]: ah, the woes of college. I'm glad I don't have to do many papers for dance
[you]: Yeah, but you still have to practice and perform and honestly I'd rather have someone shoot me in my face than have to perform in front of people
[Hoseok]: Wow, those are some intense feelings you have there
[you]: Most sane humans don't enjoy being in front of others like that. I don't know how you do it.
[Hoseok]: you get used to it. I promise. Hey, I have a performance upcoming that you might really like. It's in a month
[you]: Oh yeah! Sam told me about that, she already got us tickets
[Hoseok]:...she could have just asked me for them? I can't believe she actually paid for them
[you]: I think she was trying to surprise you. Please don't tell her I told you
[Hoseok]: It'll be our secret. Again. We seem to hold a lot of secrets, huh?
[you]: I blame you.
   After that the two of you send a few memes back and forth before you finally fall asleep, your dream being an odd montage of Hoseok dancing and kissing you in the rain until Sam starts screaming at you. Luckily the Sam screaming at you part seems to do more with her poorly timed wake up call.
   "WAKE UP ALREADY!" Sam unceremoniously rips your blankets off of you as you blearily open your eyes. "Christ, I swear you could sleep through anything. Wanna go get coffee? I have so much to tell you."
   You grunt in response before slowly changing and trudging behind Samantha as she heads over to your car. Luckily she doesn't even protest when you toss her the keys and try to squeeze in a few more minutes of sweet sleep before you pull up to Hoseok's coffee shop. God, why now? Why couldn't you have spruced up a bit more? Worn something other than a ratty t-shirt and leggings to see him again? And your face still has pillow marks, god this is horrible. You take a deep breath and follow behind Sam, praying she hasn't noticed your delay.
   The world must truly hate you because the moment you walk in you see Hoseok behind the counter smiling over at the two of you. "Hey sis, you won't be screaming at me this time, right?"
   "Unfortunately today I've decided to be civilized. Also, I came for free coffee." Hoseok snorts before nodding for her to continue. "Um, two flat whites. Also whatever muffins you recommend."
   "Got it, I'll be over to you guys in a bit." You try shrinking away as quietly as possible to the couch that Sam flops down on.
   "Listen, so I was going to go you know hang out with Bobby last night,"
   "Ew, his name even sucks."
   "Shut up! Anyway, as I was saying, I was going to but then all of a sudden that girl Heather the cheerleader all the guys are goo goo eyed for? Well, she came out of nowhere and started screaming at Bobby for knocking her up! Swear to god, I felt like I was living an episode of the Maury show." Samantha goes into more detail and you can feel your eyes glazing over. You actually have no clue who this Heather is, and you honestly don't care. You feel bad that Sam got stuck in the middle of it all, but this kind of drama has always been uninteresting to you. You're not sure if you should shriek that Hoseok has to once again witness you in this state or thank the gods that Sam finally seems to be finished telling the tale at the sight of her brother.
   "Hey, Hobi, wait! Before you go I've been meaning to tell you that Mom asked me to invite you to go to dinner with us next Friday. Do you think you can make it?"
   "I'll see what I can do. What time?"
   "Around six I think? At Olive Garden, which means all the breadsticks we can steal for later!" Hoseok winks at you as Sam occupies herself with her blueberry muffin for a minute.
   "Got it, I'll be there." You try your best to not get caught watching him walk away. God, even his ass looks great. How do some people get all the good genes while you're sitting here looking like an unwashed potato?
--------------------1 week later---------------
   You're munching on a breadstick, listening to soon to no longer be Mrs. Jung go on and on about how proud she is of Sam as your eyes narrow in on Hoseok sauntering over. No man should look that good in just a white T-shirt and jeans, and you're having a hard time not staring. Over the last week, the two of you have texted nearly nonstop. He's sweet and funny, and he has an arsenal of really good memes that he sends you at the most unexpected of times. It's just not fair. You can't have it all. You can't look that good AND have such a killer sense of humor and be witty and intelligent.
   Sam keeps pestering you asking who you could possibly be texting, and at one point you blurted out Jimin. Which isn't entirely a lie. The two of you have actually hung out a few times this last week, and he is convinced that he needs to be a wingman for you and Hoseok so you're pretty sure he'd have no problem covering for you. Apparently, you need to work on your poker face better if Jimin caught on so quickly. You hate that you've lied to your best friend, but at the same time you're not sure how to spill the beans that you have a thing for her older brother who she's incredibly protective over. Someday either you'll get over it or you'll finally buck up and tell her. Today, however, is not that day.
   "Hobi, my baby!" Mrs. Jung jumps up at the sight of her son and wraps him into a tight embrace before reluctantly pulling away so he can have a seat. After quietly wiping away a stray tear her eyes laser in on the tattoos. "When...did you get all of those?"
   "Uh, about a year ago I guess." His eyes cast down at the table, guilt clearly washing over his features at not having seen his family in so long. "You know mom, I uh, I have a dance performance upcoming and I have a solo part. I'd really like it if you could come."
   Her eyes finally look away from the tattoos and back up to his face before she nods. "Of course, of course, I'll come. You know, I always did think you were a great dancer it was your father who-"
   "Mom, mom it's okay. We know. Let's just enjoy tonight." Sam interjects and you find yourself awkwardly cramming a breadstick into your mouth as you try to astral project out of this family conversation you're intruding on. Hoseok glances between the three women around the table before cracking up loudly at the sight of your cheeks stuffed to full bread capacity.
   "Oh, Hoseok I guess I've never properly introduced you to (y/n). (Y/N), don't let his looks fool you. He's super lame. He once failed a test because he was up all night playing pokemon go and he's super loud which is totally not cool."
   "Sam! Be nice to your brother!" Hoseok laughs as he waves off his mother's warning.
   "Well, at least I don't still sleep with Mr. Porky your childhood stuffed pig."
   "YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!"
   Your eyes dart between the siblings as they quarrel with one another. Siblings look like fun, and there's something so heartwarming about the way how they interact even when fighting. Okay, well maybe not that time that Sam ripped him a new one at his job, but this time it looks fun. It's also nice to see Hoseok so relaxed and happy, so comfortable and not like the world is going to fall apart or with a bunch of thorns sticking out of his hair.
   The rest of the night you try not to glance over at Hoseok too much. It's hard to keep up the conversations and not include him, but you realized rather quickly that speaking to him too much cause your cheeks to burst a flaming red and words to come out slightly wobbly. It's so easy to text him, but in person (especially while trying to keep your friendship as a secret) it's like fighting a boss battle. By the time you get back home you're exhausted, utterly wiped out from trying to keep yourself sane.
-----------
   A month later and you're sitting next to Sam as the performance finishes up. You've never seen modern dance before, but you can guarantee it won't be the last time. The way he moved, the raw emotions that each movement gave it was like watching a silent movie but knowing all the dialogue. It's also at this moment that you realize you don't like Hoseok. You don't have a crush on Hoseok. No, you love him. You love his quirky sense of humor, you love the darker brooding side of him, you love the way his eyes turn into little crescents as his cheeks press up when he smiles, you love the way he's so effortlessly him. Perhaps you fell in love the moment you started texting him, the moment you started unraveling this. But this is dangerous and unfair to your best friend and to Hoseok who most likely sees you as only a friend. So before the very end of the show, you fake a stomach ache and head home, you're in far too much of a mess at this stunningly obvious realization to see Hoseok face to face with his family around.
   The guilt that already felt heavy to begin with now feels like a boulder on your shoulders when you get a text from Sam followed by one from Hoseok shortly after, both of them concerned how you're feeling. While at first, you wanted to save your integrity instead you just say, "I ate too much ice cream and didn't take a Lactaid." There, embarrassing but believable and certainly easier to admit than "I'm head over heels in love with Hoseok and I've been secretly texting him." It's at this point that you do something even dumber, you text your secret ally Jimin.
[You]: I have a problem
[Jimin]: ?
[You]: I'm in love with him. Please shoot me.
[Jimin]: No thanks, I don't handle blood well. But you just noticed this? How are you slow on the uptake about your own emotions?
[You]: Ouch, could you try to comfort me. I don't know what the fuck to do
[Jimin]: Put your big girl pants on and tell him
[You]: Fuck no. Are you crazy? My best friend, his fucking sister, doesn't even know we talk
[Jimin]: Yeah I know. Just tell her.
[You]: Life isn't that simple assface
[Jimin]: I'll take that as a compliment, I have a great ass. Also it is that simple. I assure you. It only doesn't seem that simple because you're afraid. Don't be. I know Hobi and...just trust me if his sister is anything like him tell her and trust me when I say just be honest. What's the worst that can happen?
[You]: I'm not ready to hear no, I think I might die from heartbreak
[Jimin]: Ohmygod you are so freaking dramatic. Tell them bitch or I will!
[You]: You fucking wouldn't
[Jimin]: Well someone has to...
   It's at this point that you throw your phone at the wall out of frustration at the same time as a few knocks are heard on your door. Fear seizes you at the thought that it might be Sam or Hobi. Fuck. Fuck. Oh god, you really screwed yourself over. "Open up loser, I know you're in there."
   For someone so cute and tiny with such a quiet voice you've learned that Jimin certainly has a snarky side to him which you've clearly awakened if his tone through the door is anything to go by. "Don't wanna. Let me die in peace."
   "I will kick the door down in five four three" You begrudgingly open the door for him before shutting it and shuffling back under the blankets.
   "What are you doing over here Jimin?"
   "Trying to talk some sense into you. Besides, emotional support is better in person. So, I saw you at the show tonight. Snuck out early huh? I left as soon as I got changed to stop you from blubbering alone."
   "Got changed? You were there?" You don't remember seeing Jimin in the crowd, although you were rather focused on the show.
   "Ouch, I'm one of the dancers remember? How cruel and heartless." Jimin fakes a sob before he socks a punch on your shoulder and wraps you up in his arms. "Seriously though, I know it's scary but just tell them already. Look at you, you can't keep this a secret much longer. It's like ripping a bandaid off, you need to let it happen."
   You try to weigh everything out, and you spend the next hour formulating a plan with Jimin. He's right, you do need to tell them. And while Jimin thinks you should tell Hobi first and get it over with, your allegiance to your friend holds more importance to you. Instead, you decide in the morning you'll talk to her first and then you'll try to talk to Hoseok. It might ruin the friendship that you've built, but it's no use pining after him from a distance. As much as you hate to admit it, Jimin is right. It's time to finally come clean after months of this.
-------------
   It was now or never. It was d-day, game time, time for the world to possibly collapse and have your best friend punch you in your throat. You're nervously clutching at the hem of your hoodie as she blabbers on about dinner with her mom and her brother, and you can feel yourself almost bursting. You have to tell her, and soon.
   "Ugh, I feel so bad that you had to miss dinner though. We went to this little Mexican place and they had this flan that you would have loved. I would have saved you some but one I have no self-control, let's be real, and two you would've just forgotten to take a Lactaid and gotten sicker."
   "Sam," You take a wobbly breath and interject her thousand words a minute rambling. She looks up from her phone and rolls over on your bed, an eyebrow cocked at the serious tone in your voice. "Sam, I uh, I have something to tell you..."
   "What, you're fucking Jimin? Yeah, I figured that one out already. So what, are you guys dating or just-"
   "What? NO? Oh my god, no why would you-"
   "-Well, why wouldn't I? When I was talking to Hobi about it last night even he agreed that you guys must be dating. Especially when he took off so fast after the show suspiciously around the time that you left. You don't have to lie about."
   "Oh. Oh god, oh no. Hobi doesn't really think that, does he? Fuck. Okay, Sam, Jimin was right I need to be honest. I'm not fucking Jimin, nor have I ever-"
   "That's a shame, he has a great ass."
   "Yeah, sure, back to the point." You can feel a cold sweat start to take over as you gulp in air, "I'minlovewithyourbrother." You say the words as fast as possible, eyes squeezed shut as you brace for impact.
   "What? You're...howzthatevenpossible? Since like when? And...love...not like...girl I am so confused." You slowly open your eyes, one at a time to see a very lost look on her face.
   "Okay so it's like this...I've met Hoseok before the incident at the coffee shop. Way before. Only once though. He passed out on campus and I helped him out. We didn't talk. But then at that party where you ditched me for Mr. Keg stands-"
   "-His name is Bobby, and I told you we didn't have sex he-"
   "-Knocked up the cheerleader, yeah I know. Anyways, we ran into each other at the party and we got to talking and then we started texting and I know he sees me as just a friend or maybe just a friend of his sister...but...I really like him. Like him like him, like love like." Great, now you're incoherent. Sam is dumbfounded, and for once she isn't talking. After a moment of awkward silence, she clears her throat.
   "You do realize he's a dork? Like a giant dork? And that he freaking lives in a coffee shop? And that he has a lot of baggage? And that honestly, as your friend I should warn you, probably has gotten an STD at some point in his life? Like...you're way too good for my dipshit older brother. I love him, but like honestly. Him?" Well, this wasn't the direction you expected at all. "I get that some girls think he's cute and all, but you've never had to do his laundry. It's gross. He smells like gross boy."
   "He smells like citrus and pine needle most of the time, you can't blame him for sweating when he dances."
   "Did...did you just defend his body odor? And how the fuck do you know that he smells like citrus and pine needle? What, are you some kind of scent expert? You know what, no please don't answer that. I don't want to know." Sam shakes her head before clasping your hand. "Listen, I'm not here to police who you date or who my brother dates. I'll support you. Or console you." Gee thanks for the vote of confidence. "But I think I might have fucked everything up. You should talk to him soon."
   "Well yeah, you did kind of make him think I was fucking Jimin. How bad was it?"
   Sam tilts her head, eyes narrowing as she recalls the memory. "Well...he was pretty surprised, but then he put on his typical 'nice guy' smile and said that you guys made a good pair and he could see it."
   You groan in frustration as you grab your phone, getting ready to send him a text before Sam slaps it out of your hold.
   "No, nope, you're not texting him this. Listen, there's a party tonight that I know he'll be going to after he finishes up work. You're going. That'll be the best way to talk to him." God, not another party. This isn't at all how you wanted to admit your stupid feelings. Damn emotions, you swear they're like dandelions growing in the least expected places. But the look on Sam's face says she's not going to take no for an answer. But she's right, if he's working right now the best time to get a hold of him today will be at that party.
   You take a deep breath in and nod resolutely. Just because she's right doesn't mean that you have to like it and you still stand by your hatred for parties. At least this time you have a reason. As long as you can find Hoseok. "What if I can't find him?"
   "I'll text him, dummy. I've got your back."
   "More like you'll have the popcorn to watch this all unfold."
   "Well, yeah that too. But I mean, I'm rooting for you." You pick up a pillow and hurl it at her face before groaning as you flop over her on the bed.
   "What time is the party?"
   "Well it starts at 9, and it's five now. So if I were you I would start getting ready now."
   "Now? What for?" Uh oh, you know that face.
-------------------
   There are few things in life that Samantha Jung loves more than giving people makeovers. You've been thoroughly groomed and primped to perfection and it somehow took the full four hours. Your skin is glowing in a way you didn't realize it could but after enough exfoliating, a clay mask, a sheet mask, and a hydropack later it's sparkling in a way that shouts "I drink tons of water and eat my weight in kale!" Not that you do, you probably should though. You're highlighted and contoured to perfection, and while Sam is clearly proud you have zero problems with admitting that it will never look this way again. She did at least let you wear your own comfortable choice of jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.  
   "He's in the backyard, playing beer pong again." Jimin appears by your side the moment the two of you walk in, answering the golden question before you can even think it.
   "Jesus, you scared the shit out of me Jimin." Jimin snickers as he hands both of you drinks.
   "Sorry about that princess. Well, what are you waiting for? Go show your very dewy face off to him."
   "Oh god do I look like an oil slick?" Sam hits him as you pull out your phone and check in the camera.
   "No no no, you look great." Jimin is trying to stop the blows Samantha is hurling his way as you sigh and glance around the party. You don't know most of these people. Apparently it's mostly music and dance students celebrating that they've finished all of their showcases. You can feel dread fill you with each step closer to the door as you move past the crowd. It feels like ages before you're finally standing in front of the door. You take a swig of the Kool-Aid and bottom-shelf vodka concoction before finally stepping out.
   If you weren't oily before you know that you will be soon. It's humid, sticky, and sweltering even after the sun has gone down. You can see the fireflies already coming out, cicadas can be heard buzzing in the distance, and you're sure mosquitos are actively hunting. If it weren't for your eyes landing right on Hoseok you would've walked right back into the comfortable air conditioning. Why anyone would want to play beer pong outside in this weather is beyond you.
   You take a deep breath before promptly taking a seat next to Yoongi. You'd like to lie and say you walked right up to Hoseok, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him...but that's not asking for consent for one, and you also would probably fall flat on your face if you tried. Yoongi nods your way before offering his cigarette, you shake your head in a silent response before taking another swig of your drink.
   "Hey Yoongi, who's the new friend?" A man you don't recognize stops playing beer pong momentarily and you try hard to not sweat as you feel Hoseok's gaze land on you.
   "(Y/N), what are you doing here? Oh! Jimin just walked into the house if you're looking for him." You try not to laugh too pitifully as you wave your hand as if to shoo the thought away.
   "No, no. I know where he is." You're so sorry Sam, but it's your turn to throw her under the bus. "In fact, I'm pretty sure he's still with Sam. She had some sort of uh...misunderstanding that I think she's rather eager to sort out." You look up from the dandelion you've been concentrating on when you hear his sing-song laughter and you feel like you've been sucker punched in the gut. His hair is slicked back for once, cheeks glowing a pretty shade of pink under the patio light, sweat trailing down his temple onto his collar bones and all of his tattoos on full display in his tank top. Lord give you strength to not die from thirst on the spot.
   "Sam has a bad habit of jumping to conclusions."
   "Hey, are we going to play or what?" The guy you don't know throws an empty cup at the back of Hoseok's head as he speaks. Hoseok rolls his eyes before sending you a wink and turning back to the broad-shouldered stranger.
   "Yeah yeah Jin. Ready to get your ass kicked again?"
   There are a few things you learn in the next few minutes. Hoseok is really good at beer pong, you figured that last time but considering that the defeat only took a total of three minutes it's much more obvious now. You've also learned that Jin sucks and that Yoongi loves nothing more than to pick on him each time he misses. Which is every time.
   "Aish, that's it. I'm done. I quit." Jin groans after chugging back the last cup before he ambles over to another group further in the backyard. Yoongi coughs before winking at you and heading over with Jin, leaving you and Hoseok alone. Bless that tiny angry man for being the best unexpected wingman. Hoseok glances around for a minute before sitting down next to you.
   "You were really good by the way. The show I mean, the beer pong too though. I had no clue someone could dance like that. You chose the right pursuit in life, I'm sure of it."
   Hoseok laughs as he takes a swig of beer. "Thanks, I appreciate that. It's a shame you had all that ice cream. Lactose intolerant huh? I've been fucking you up with all those free coffees and I didn't even know it." You can feel your cheeks burning bright red as you jump to your feet. The sudden movement causes Hoseok to jerk back as you point your finger at his chest.
   "For your information that was a lie, although I would appreciate if you used almond milk in the future. But that's beside the point! I was completely fine, just a scaredy cat. So here goes nothing, Jung Hoseok I'd like to take you out on a date!" You can feel the blush travel from your cheeks up to your ears but force yourself to look at Hoseok. He's smiling, ear to ear with cheeks pushing his eyes into those cute little crescents you love to see.
   "Okay. Let's go."
   "What?"
   "You said you want to take me out on a date. I'm saying yes, let's go. Come on, what are you waiting for?" Your mind goes blank as he stands up and clasps your hand in his. It's so warm (kind of sweaty if you're honest, but hey, so is yours) and so perfect. Your brain freezes, your mental record scratches as you follow him through the house and out to the front lawn. (Excuse me, this is your friendly narrator, I'd like to interrupt for just a moment. This story could have been much shorter if you didn't overthink everything so much. Believe in yourself more! Okay, that's enough interruptions. I'll get back to the story now.)
   "Wait, wait, Hoseok where are we going?" Hoseok gives you a bright smile as he looks down at you.
   "There's a diner a block away from here. You didn't bring your car did you?" You shake your head no as you follow him. "They do really good pancakes. Breakfast for dinner is the best." At the sound of you suddenly going mute Hoseok looks back down as he squeezes your hand reassuringly. "So why'd you ask me out?"
   "Why wouldn't I? You're hot for one, but you're also really funny and sweet and relatable, and honestly, it's impossible to not fall for you. You have this bright sunny smile, but under all these layers is this really sweet but vulnerable man that I..." Hoseok stops walking for a moment, his face turned away as if to hide the blush creeping up his face. You take a deep breath before asking, "...why...why did you accept?"
   "Why wouldn't I?" You laugh at the way he imitates you before he starts walking again. "You're beautiful, and you've saved my ass twice because you're either insane or insanely nice, you're funny, smart, and the moment we started talking my life turned around. Honestly, yesterday I wanted to punch Jimin in the throat but then I realized it was my fault for not beating him to the punch. I would've asked you out if you hadn't, you know. Ah, we're here." Hobi leads you into the diner and slides into a booth as you slide into the other side. You stare down at the shiny black lacquered table for a moment before peeking up to look up at Hoseok.
   He's peering intently at the laminated menu. You've never noticed before but he has beautiful, long fingers with well-groomed cuticles. "Do you get manicures?"
   "No, but Sam recently had one of her makeover moments with me and decides that my nails had to have some work done on them."
   "She did a good job, they look nice." Hoseok glances up and smiles at you before sliding another menu to you. You take it and stare down for a moment before a waitress comes up to your table.
   "What can I get you guys?"
   "Oh, uh I'll just get a water and a small stack of pancakes."
   "A sprite and the stackhouse, eggs over easy." The waitress nods as she scribbles it down before walking away. Hoseok fiddles with a napkin for a moment before piping up. "Okay, so really important question here, what are your top songs right now?"
   "What genre?"
   "Rap?" He looks hopeful and you pull up your phone.
   "Well, always J Cole and Kendrick, but let's see...songs...hmm. Recently I've been listening to Justin Bieber by Coogie a lot, Uzuhan by Uzuhan, Pink Blue Dawn by Dumbfoundead. Honestly, I've been listening to more R&B lately. Lots of Sabrina Claudio, Sinead Harnett, and Steve Lacey."
   "Holy sweet Jesus, mary me."
   "Were you praying to Jesus and his mother or asking for my hand in marriage?"
   "A bit of both."
   "Oh well Kevin in first grade and I got married by the swingset after he gave me a ring pop so I think I'll have to get those divorce papers first. Sorry. My turn for questions. In a dream world, what would you be doing?"
   "Well marrying you because Kevin never gave you that ring pop obviously, and I'd be working as an established choreographer with my own studio."
   "You'll get there. I'm sure of it."
   "Such confidence. What about you? What would you be doing?"
   You want to say 'you' to him but you would definitely die from embarrassment. You can see the shitty epitaph now just thinking about it. "Well, I guess I'd be an established author on a much-needed vacation on a beautiful island basking in the warm sun without a worry because I've dug myself out of student loan debt."
   "Ooh, that sounds nice. I'm thinking Hawaii, ooh or maybe Jeju, you know it's the Hawaii of Korea?"
   At that moment the food comes out and the two of you spend the next hour or so discussing random topics until finally, you get up to leave after not so subtle hints from the waitress that you've overstayed your welcome. The two of you choose to walk back to your dorm rather than wait for an uber. It's only a few blocks away and it gives both of you more time to just bask in each other's presence. You never guessed that he would say yes to a date, or that it would feel so natural. All this time you've been able to hide away with text messages, making it easier to be unguarded the way face to face conversations typically make you a nervous ball of anxiety. But with Hobi? It all just feels so right, so easy as if it was supposed to be this way all along.
   You can feel your heart sink though with each step closer to the dorm, and you're pretty sure that Hoseok feels the same way based off of how he slows down. By the time you're standing in front of the building, you're suddenly feeling an overwhelming urge to not let the night end, afraid that you'll wake up tomorrow and the fairytale spell that's been magically cast will vanish.
   His hand is still tightly gripped around yours, the moon and dim security lights casting a silvery glow over his skin. Cicadas are still buzzing, fireflies glowing in the distance as if to remind you that the night isn't over yet. You glance up at Hobi and notice that it looks like he's trying to say something but no sound is coming out. His lips are slightly open, brows furrowed together. God, his lips look so soft and perfect and pillowy. Before you can even think you're standing up on your tiptoes and weaving your free hand into his hair as you softly plant a kiss on his lips.  
   What starts out as a soft and unsure peck quickly escalates as he grips your hip and deepens the kiss. He tastes like syrup and sprite and everything right. You can feel yourself growing dizzy, hungry for more as his tongue parts your lips. You always assumed he'd be a good kisser, if you're honest you've fantasized about it far more than you'd ever willingly admit, but he's even better than you could have guessed. A soft breathy moan leaves your mouth as he brings your bodies closer together and the guttural groan that leaves him as he finally separates and the two of you try to breathe has you reconfirming that you really don't want this night to end.
   "I, wow that was..." Hobi's eyes are glittering, the world cast in a haze of twinkling euphoria as you look back up at him.
   "Hobi, would you like to come up with me?" You're suddenly regretting your sudden boldness at the way he stops moving for a minute. Perhaps you're moving too fast, maybe he thinks you're a floozy or something and you've ruined it. Your overthinking goes into overdrive before his hand cups your chin and forces you to look back up at him.
   "I would love to, but if I go up there I...listen I really want you. So if you just want to hang out I need you to give me a second so I can calm down." At that, you peek down to realize that he's clearly grown excited, and you can feel a surge of need trickle down your panties.
   "I...I don't want to just hang out. I want you."
   "Ah, fuck. Are you sure?" You nod your head before reaching back up and placing a firm kiss on his lips. The green light seems to go off in his head at this, his hands gripping you tightly to him as tongues melt together before he pries away and you quickly lead him up. Unfortunately, the elevator has been broken for almost the entire year so you have to make the trip by jumping up the stairs, fever clawing at you the closer you get.
   By the time you're finally in your room you can feel sexual tension hanging thickly in the air. The moment you shut the door he hooks your legs around his waist and presses you against the wall, mouth quick to find yours again. Your hips jut against his, desperate for friction at this point and the groan of pleasure that leaves him has you clawing away at his shirt. You knew that he had a great figure, you've seen it before at the recital but to see it so close in person is another story. Your hands etch over his firm abs, dipping down to that oh so drool worthy V as you unbuckle his pants while his lips attach to your neck.
   "I don't think you understand how long I've wanted you." Hobi stops his ministrations as he speaks, eyes boring into yours before he moves you off the wall and onto your bed. You watch as he shuffles out of his shoes and pants before crawling back over you. In a matter of moments, the two of you are both in just your underwear, his eyes trained on the obvious wet patch of your pink underwear. "You look so beautiful, so perfect."
   The feeling of his soft fingers trailing over your body raises goosebumps, your eyes shutting at the sensation as one hand trails from your calf up to your inner thigh. "Look at you, so wet for me. All for me, all mine." His words have you whimpering, your hand gripping his.
   "Please touch me, I need you. Please, Hobi." His eyes squeeze shut for a moment as he grips at your thighs, shuffling until his face is just millimeters from where you need it.
   "How can I say no to that face?" Finally, he's tearing off your underwear. For a moment you're afraid that he's just going to stay there forever, face hovering over before finally he dips down. You're so wound up that even just the lightest pressure when he lays his tongue down and licks one long stripe has both of you groaning in satisfaction. "Fuck, how do you taste so good?"
   "Please stop talking and just help me. I need you. I need you so bad." You weave your hands through his hair, trying to move him closer to where you need him most. Hoseok shoots you a smirk before relenting, finally diving in like a man starved. His tongue is everywhere all at once, diving between your folds one second before reaching back up to swirl around your swollen clit. Your hands grip tighter into his hair as your hips roll on reflex at the sensation. If the rumors are true and Hoseok really has fucked half the campus at some point then you must admit that the studying has been worth it. If the rumors aren't true then he's either a sex god or a prodigy because holy shit you've never felt yourself come so unglued just from oral sex before.
   His hands grip your asscheeks to bring you closer as you mewl out his name, his own pleasure rumbling deep from his chest and vibrating through you. God, this is so much better than your own fantasies. "Fuck, fuck, you're so good. Don't stop, please don't stop. I'm going to cum." The tell-tale knot deep in your belly is on fire, legs quaking around his head as you throw your neck back. The feeling of two of his fingers gliding into you as he latches onto your clit is all you need to tumble head first into euphoria. Everything feels fuzzy as if cotton has been stuck in your ears and your muscles have become weightless. Floating. Flying. Breezing right into heaven.
   You don't even realize that you've been moaning the entire time, or that Hoseok has stopped moving to watch you as you fuck yourself onto his fingers slowly, coming back down to reality as the stars fade from your vision. "You're so beautiful, I could watch you all day." His voice is gruff with desire as he leans down and captures your lips in a wet, needy kiss. "I need you, I need you right now." His lips lead a sticky trail down to your chest as he finally pries the offending bra off and flings it off to the side of the bed with an ominous sounding crash that neither of you pay attention to. You're too absorbed in your own lustful world to notice anything else.
   As his teeth bear down onto your nipple your hand grasps his clothed erection. God, why is he still in boxers? The sudden attention being placed back on him has his eyes closing as a guttural rumble of pleasure leaves his throat. You try to pry his boxers off, but at the angle you're positioned in you can only manage to get it down half his ass. In lightning speed he's standing before you bare, his weeping cock bobbing proudly in the air. The sight has you drooling as you shuffle closer to see him. Veiny, thick, shining with precum. It looks delicious as he slowly fists it, eyes boring into yours the entire time.
   "Do you...have a condom?" Hoseok's voice breaks you out of your spell and you nod before reaching over to your nightstand and pulling one out. He quickly grabs the foil and you watch with keen interest as he rolls it on and tosses the foil into your small waste bin. "You're...you're sure about this right?"
   "Hobi, I've thought about fucking you more times than I can count. Please, fuck me already." His adam's apple bobs at the admission and he pulls you up into a heated kiss before twisting you around and placing you on all fours. One hand pulls your ass apart as the other grips your hip for support. The feeling of him finally entering zaps you with electricity, each small movement as he sinks further into your dripping cunt has your eyes rolling back into your head.
   "Holy shit, how are you so tight?" You clench at his words, hips rolling back to urge him to move. "Keep doing that baby girl and I'm not going to last long." The pet name has you moaning, hands gripping the sheets tighter as he slowly pulls out and slams back in, balls slapping against your swollen clit. Hoseok sets into a steady pace, hips slamming into yours each time he hits your cervix. You feel so full, so utterly filled and the knowledge that it's Hoseok, finally him deep inside you has your head reeling and your second orgasm fast approaching.
   "Faster, I'm going to cum!" He grunts as he twists your hair around his hand, pulling you up so your back is flat on his chest as he drills into you at a brutal speed. The sound of moans, flesh on flesh, and wet sex fills the room.
   His mouth lowers to your ear as you start spiraling out of control, "come on, cum with me baby girl. Let go." For the second time you see blinding white, toes curling as his hand circles over your clit, walls clenching around him as you milk him to his own completion.
   The two of you remain there for a few moments, panting as you try to come back down to earth before you finally slump forward, his softening cock slipping out. When you turn around you see him grinning back down at you, pushing his hair out of the way as he flashes you that full crescent eye smile you love so much. He takes a moment to catch his breath before he ties up the condom and tosses it. He rolls onto the bed and pulls you into his arms before speaking.
   "You know, I can't remember the last time I was this happy? You're just so beautiful, and funny, and nice and I don't want you thinking that I was only in it for this. I...I know the rumors about me but I haven't been that guy in a long time. And I really want this..us...fuck do I sound super lame right now?"
   You place a soft peck on his cheek as you beam up at him. "No Hobi, you don't sound lame at all. I kinda figured on the rumor front, considering your ex and how serious that seemed. Besides, I don't care even if it was still true as long as you...only want me...now..." Your voice trails off towards the end, cheeks heating up as you look away before glancing back up at the sound of his loud laugh.
   "Trust me, you're the only thing that's been running through my mind for months now. I'm all yours."
   "All mine?" You watch him smile and nod before he leans down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead. The act feeling somehow so intimate. That night you fall asleep in his arms, trying to count all his tattoos as the two of you whisper about everything and nothing all at the same time. You were right, he's certainly the kind of guy that you can lay in bed with for hours after sex so that's exactly what the two of you do.
   One year later Hoseok graduates and the two of you are more in love than you thought possible. Two years later the two of you are living together as you try to finish up your degree. Three years later and you're working for a publisher while trying to establish yourself as an author as Hoseok finally opens up his own dance studio. Four years later Hoseok proposes to you in front of the slides at a park with a beautiful morganite ring, sneering a comment about 'take that Kevin' after you tearfully accept. Five years later and you're walking down the aisle as Sam bawls her eyes out as your maid of honor. There were ups and downs in the relationship (luckily usually between the sheets), but the two of you worked through everything. Somehow that crash landing all those years ago brought Hoseok into your life, and you wouldn't change how anything happened for the world.  
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astarryon · 6 years
Text
Hard Feelings Part 8
Pairings: Bucky x reader
Warnings: None
A/N: Okay, so it’s finally done! Bucky’s out here being reclusive and Wanda has suddenly become this relationship’s biggest fan, so needless to say writing this update was definitely interesting, but I’m happy with the result! Next update we’re tackling Valentine’s Day, so make of that what you will. As always, if you enjoy this chapter or have any questions or comments, feel free to send them my way! I seriously appreciate everyone who takes the time to read my work, you’re all amazing!
Part 7
— 
Vulnerability was weakness. Bucky knew this, had had the idea drilled into him for decades, over and over and over again. Connections led to vulnerability, as did things like love and compassion. Even the smallest bit of affection could cause a crack in the armor which was so melded over his mind and body. Emotional ties led to vulnerability, and vulnerability got people killed. This was the thought process under which he had operated for years, the one Hydra had assaulted him with until it had become a way of life.
Only, Bucky wasn’t a Hydra asset, not anymore. He was not the Winter Soldier, he was James Buchanan Barnes. He was not a machine, but a man who had had something terrible done to him and his humanity forcibly stripped away. He was not an object, but a good person struggling to find himself once more.
He was not a monster without feeling; he was a man who had begun to feel, for the first time in a very long time... romantic affection.
Or, in this specific instance, the affection was liable to be yours and not his, but for the life of him he couldn’t seem to shake it once it had been introduced into his mind.
You had kissed him, drunkenly and suddenly. Not only had he been totally unprepared for it, but he had also been completely helpless to do anything once you had. It hadn’t been romantic or overly touchy or anything like that; all things considered, it had been little more than a mildly prolonged peck, and had been incredibly chaste in nature. Impressive, really, for how drunk you were. You had gone on to remove yourself and then lay your head down on his chest, giggling like the happiest of children and mumbling something about traditions, and had shortly fallen asleep afterward, leaving Bucky to sit there, cradling you in his arms and feeling like the entire universe had been shifted upside down.
A midnight kiss. Try as he might, he couldn’t remember whether that was something he’d experienced back in the thirties. It wouldn’t have mattered if he had, he supposed; all of that had quite literally been a lifetime ago.
Something had happened, when you’d kissed him in that incredibly drunk, friendly way. You’d mentioned earlier in the night that you were numb to your powers due to your intoxicated state, but that hadn’t negated the fact that others could feel your emotions by way of physical contact; you just weren’t able to feel theirs. So, when you had kissed Bucky, mischief and amusement so clearly evident in your gaze, you had opened the pathway to your emotions to him, allowing him a look inside your head.
He found affection there, and longing. A willingness to bare the soul and offer compassion and care in any way possible. He found lighthearted attraction, and a wholehearted desire to act upon it. A bright, shimmering light which was indicative of fondness and companionship.
Romantic attraction.
The issue was that Bucky wasn’t sure if your powers were showing him your emotions during that innocent kiss, or if they were forcing him to take a look at his own. And on account of the fact that you were now passed out and would be much too drunk to answer any inquiries even if you were awake, it looked like he was on his own in determining which option was the truth.
If they were his emotions, he could deal with it. He’d been wondering when those kinds of feelings would come back to him, if he could even feel things like romantic love and sensuality anymore. Obviously he could identify if he found someone physically attractive, but that was all superficial. Feeling genuine affection for you, though, affection that went beyond just physicality and lust... he could handle that. You were a smart mouth, sure, and way too empathetic for your own good, but Bucky liked those things about you. He might’ve even loved them, as terrifying as the mere thought was.
If the feelings were yours, though, that was a completely different ballgame. That meant Bucky had no control over how the situation played out, and that only served to further terrify him. Would you pursue him? Would you be willing to share your thoughts and feelings, to admit to him the candle you held despite how he’d treated you previously? Would you stand before him, heart racing as his was at the very thought, and show him honest affection? Would you let him kiss you, as had crossed his mind from time to time? Would it be as easy to open up to you as he seemed to so desperately want it to be?
Or would you push him away, unwilling to stick around to see if he could give you what he couldn’t give himself?
The headache was present and pounding at the walls of your skull before you had even fully realized you were conscious. Your muscles were stiff and sore, the mattress beneath you harder and stiffer than normal. Pain danced at the edge of your senses, taunting each and every inch of your body at even the slightest movement, and so you did your best to stay very still. God only knew the vertigo which would present itself should you even make an attempt to function normally at this point in time.
For fuck’s sake, what had been in Thor’s cup and why did he drink that shit for fun?
“You seem like you’re regretting some of the choices you made last night.”
One of your first impulses at the sound of a voice which had come out of nowhere had been to scream, and you might have done so if you weren’t convinced that the effort would end you. The words had exploded into your mind, the volume causing color spots to fill your vision as your eyes flew open in fright, the majority of your surroundings tinged pink with the amusement of whoever had spoken.
“Jesus fuck,” you muttered, a hand flying to your forehead. Whatever had been in your cup had done a good job of numbing your power, as it was now coming back to you all at once, manifesting itself visually as opposed to its more typical form. That happened every now and again when you were particularly in tune with and conscious of your senses, as was typical in your current state. You were sensitive to everything when you were hungover. “Lower your fucking voice.”
“Sorry, doll,” the voice breathed, offering a low chuckle. Forcing yourself to just barely squint an eye open, you took in the form of Bucky, his eyes shining in the light of the room and the auras dancing in your field of vision. No wonder the mattress had felt so stiff when you had woken up; you’d been laying on Bucky’s chest. “Didn’t realize.”
Each word he spoke was like a knife digging in to the base of your skull. No amount of Advil in the world was going to be able to help you along with this hangover. You were going to kick Thor’s ass the moment the damn thing passed.
It took you a few moments to process your situation, and you had already closed your eyes and rested your head back down on Bucky’s chest before reality had hit you. It was probably on account of your raging headache that you were currently acting so nonchalant; normally you would have been a nervous wreck, all blushes and stuttered sentences. At the moment, though, you were so fucking beyond over it that it was almost comical. “You slept here with me?”
“I tried to leave,” he whispered. You could feel the fingers of his metal hand tracing your temple, a blessed balm of cold against your warm skin. “But you weren’t having any of it, and I would’ve felt guilty if I left before you woke up. Decent to stick around after a night like that, isn’t it?”
Not for the first time, your eyes flew open in shock, and you were immediately greeted with the pink auras once more, dancing across your vision as your eyes locked on a pile of black fabric on your floor, halfway across the room. Just looking at it made your anxiety kick into overdrive.
Your dress.
What had you done last night?
Ignoring the ache of your body and the disorientation brought on by your rose colored surroundings, you pushed away from Bucky to sit up. Blessedly, miraculously, mercifully, you remained clothed, swaddled in a large tee shirt and cotton shorts. It didn’t necessarily guarantee that what you were thinking hadn’t come to pass, but it did make it a little less likely.
“We... slept together?” you choked out, turning back to look at Bucky. He was still in his clothing from last night, but his tie was missing and his over shirt was gone, probably having found a home on your bedroom floor along with your dress. His hair was unkempt and wildly tousled, but it only served to make him look like he belonged here, with you, in your bed. Admittedly it wasn’t a bad sight, but if he’d... if the two of you had...
Fuck.
“We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re asking.” It was exactly what you were asking and the shit eating grin he wore said he knew that good and well. Prick. “Give me a little more credit, Y/n. I would never let you take advantage of me like that, even if you spent the night calling me pretty.”
Relief washed over you like an ocean wave, a balm to your anxiety. “Thank god,” you breathed, shaking your head. On top of everything else you were going to have to deal with during this hangover, a drunken one night stand with Bucky would have pushed you over the cliff that was your composure. “No offense, but that would’ve... I don’t do stuff like that, usually. It just would’ve been... I don’t know.”
Bucky blinked a couple times, seeming to take something in. The light in his eyes appeared to be dying, shifting into something you couldn’t name, and the rosiness of the world was bleeding away, becoming a distinct shade of amber with the shift in his mood. He’d gone from amused and a little uncertain to... disappointment? Was that what amber meant? It had been quite some time since you’d had to deal with physical manifestations of emotions, and you’d never preferred them.
“You don’t remember anything from last night?” Bucky asked you. It was strange; you could so clearly see his emotions shifting and winding down, but his face was painting a picture of humor and happiness. He was schooling his features, trying to fake you out; he had to have been. “Nothing at all?”
Well, that was a little subjective. You remembered certain things clearly, your memories leading up to your encounter with Thor being easiest to grasp onto. Asgardian alcohol, that was what you’d had to drink. You weren’t familiar with the stuff, but after chugging that cup Thor had looked at you like you’d just pounded three Jaeger bombs back to back. That explained why you remembered everything being doused in white light, you guessed; you weren’t drunk often, and when you were the effects on your mind were always so strange.
Steve had been present, that much you knew, and you could remember that he had helped you in some way. You’d been numb to it at the time, but the emotional entry your power had made from Steve while you were busy being wasted told you that he’d been worried, exasperated, and amused while with you, sometimes all three of those concurrently. Snapshots played when you thought about it, showing pictures of you leaning against him and patting his face, spending much of your time drunkenly looking up at him in wonder. How he’d dealt with that, you hadn’t been sure.
Wanda and Thor’s interactions with you had been less frequent, if you remembered correctly. In fact, you were pretty sure you had interacted with the two of them for a fraction of the time you’d spent inconveniencing Steve. Poor guy; you made a mental note to thank him whenever you managed to eventually drag yourself out of bed.
And then there was Bucky, acting so uncharacteristically strange in the little time since you had woken up. Though you could feel that you had been the most emotionally invested in him last night, you couldn’t remember much of your interactions together, which felt strange, considering you’d woken up to him in your bed. What you could place when it came to him were feelings of warmth and serenity, or at least you had been able to before he’d gotten all weird. You wanted to think that meant the two of you had somehow bonded through your intoxication, but you couldn’t just assume that, especially with how he was suddenly behaving.
You shook your head, having to let go of your curiosity at the sudden mood change in an effort to keep control of the nausea that was beginning to come over you. “I just remember a lot of light,” you answered truthfully, using what little left over attention you did have to carefully keep an eye on the colors surrounding you. The amber was becoming more concentrated, tinged with hints of dark orange. Try as Bucky might to conceal the truth, you could easily see that your words were upsetting him. But why was he so sensitive all of the sudden? He had just told you the two of you hadn’t slept together; why should it matter, then, if you couldn’t remember anything? “It’s all really foggy for me. Although... did I compare you to the Sistine Chapel?”
In spite of his intense emotions Bucky laughed, a loud, genuine sort of thing that made his chest shake as a result, a bright smile dominating his features. For fuck’s sake, the guy managed to look perfect no matter what the situation was. “Wasn’t the exact term you used, but yeah. Who knew alcohol turned you into such a flirt?”
“I did,” you sighed, raising your eyes to the ceiling. Getting drunk hadn’t been your goal in the slightest; you’d just been looking for something to take the edge off. “Which is why I was only going to have one drink, but then that one drink turned out to be a whole cup of alien alcohol and I swear, I have never been so far gone in my life.”
“Not hard to believe,” Bucky teased, once again eyeing you in that oddly piercing way of his.
Something strange was happening to the auras as you gazed at him, something which your brain was much too scattered to focus upon at the moment, and which ended up being nothing more than a fleeting though in your hungover brain. It was just... a specific shade of royal blue was dancing along the edges of your own body, lining your fingers as you splayed them apart. This wasn’t your aura, as you had believed after seeing it for the first time. You were getting visuals of Bucky’s emotions, so the deep, vibrant, nearly purple layer of blue clinging to your fingertips was indicative of how he viewed you. That couldn’t have been right, though, because that specific shade of blue... that was romantic, you were pretty sure.
Loving.
You shook your head, writing the whole thing off as a defect in your power on account of your raging hangover.
“You look like you’re in pain,” Bucky stated. Comical, considering the fact that he was pointedly looking anywhere but at you. That same humorous look was still plastered on his face, and you got the sense that he wasn’t aware just how disingenuous it seemed when you had the emotional reading to support that he was feeling the exact opposite of how he was presenting himself. He moved to stand, stretching and popping the joints in his arms as he did so. “I’ll let you get some rest, okay? Don’t worry about training today. We can skip that and therapy until tomorrow.”
“Bucky.” Maybe it was the desperate tone in your voice, but you actually got him to stop in his tracks. He eyed you hesitantly, seeming to check to make sure you were okay, his eyes telling you everything that his face wasn’t, and you silently willed him to answer honestly as you went on to ask, “You’re sure nothing happened last night? I didn’t do anything to upset you?”
His face softened, and you saw the blue hue lining your body grow the tiniest bit brighter. This time the small, fond, unbothered smile Bucky offered you was just as genuine as it could have been, and the amber color cast over the rest of the room was beginning to fade into rosiness once more. “You’ve never done anything to upset me.” Truth; you could feel it clear as you were seeing it. Truth was everything his words encompassed. “Now get some rest. I’ll come back to make sure you aren’t dead later.”
With that, Bucky left you to yourself, and your hangover took the absence of a distraction to worsen your headache, momentarily forcing you to drop the subject and do as Bucky had suggested.
Halfway through January and no one was fessing the fuck up, which was majorly beginning to piss you off.
Everything had been normal at first, nothing too much out of the ordinary. Your daily routine remained the same; you woke up, you trained with Bucky, you showered, you went and held your unorthodox therapy sessions, you logged the session and sent the report to Nick Fury’s email, and then the rest of the day was yours to do with as you pleased. Sometimes that meant you sat with Tony up in his lab and watched as he handled technology far beyond your comprehension, other times it meant you volunteered to do some grocery shopping with Clint and Natasha in an effort to get a change of scenery.
Lately, though, your free time was entirely taken up by your mind obsessing over what had come to pass between you and Bucky in your bedroom the night of New Year’s Eve. Maybe you would’ve been able to drop it if he hadn’t been acting so god damn weird around you, but the anxiety which had resulted in the last few weeks due to Bucky’s treatment was far too great to ignore.
In the weeks since the party, Bucky had grown distant. Which was understandable, you supposed. He was obviously working through something and the fact that you could bump him at any moment and accidentally feel the source of why he’d been so withdrawn was more than likely motivation for him to stay away from you; hell, you weren’t even allowed to hold his hand during therapy anymore, and that sort of killed you on the inside, sort of felt like the trust he’d placed in you had been rescinded, but you understood. You were adamant about not pushing him for anything that would make him uncomfortable, knew good and well that he would come to you and express himself if he wanted to.
It just seemed like lately, the only thing which made Bucky uncomfortable at all was you.
That was why you were heading to where you were now, looking over your shoulder constantly and feeling ridiculous each time you did so. There was nothing inherently suspicious about what you were doing, aside from the fact that you were making your actions suspicious. It was just beyond lucky that you were doing this while Bucky was preoccupied by a personal training session. Anyone else you could sweet talk into ignoring your strange, erratic behavior; Bucky would see right through it in a heartbeat.
“Wanda,” you called, throwing her bedroom door open and not even waiting for her scream of fright to die down before trudging over and plopping directly down onto her bed. She appeared to have been in the middle of tidying her things, and had been startled into knocking over a couple of the picture frames on her dresser. “Calm down, it’s just me.”
“What, you don’t know how to knock?” she demanded, throwing her arms into the air. Distantly you had the sense to feel bad, but you were beyond that at the moment. “I get that you’ve been mopey for the past few weeks, but like, common courtesy is still a thing, you know.”
“Mope— mopey?” you gasped, pressing a hand to your chest to show affront. “I’m not the one who’s been mopey.”
Wanda rolled her eyes, abandoning her task and wandering over to perch across from you on the edge of her bed. “Oh, please. You’ve been mopey and Bucky’s been skittish. Believe me when I say everyone is over it.”
Everyone? Had the awkwardness in yours and Bucky’s interactions really been that transparent?
Whatever. At least that confirmed that it wasn’t all in your head.
“Wanda,” you began again, resting your chin in your hands and sending Wanda a look which begged for sympathy. The great thing about being an empath? You knew how best to appeal to others. “Remember when you said that I was your best friend and that if I ever needed anything from you I should just ask and you wouldn’t hesitate to help, no questions asked?”
The dark haired girl blinked a couple times, processing. “Pretty sure I didn’t word it like that, but I’m willing to humor you. Does this have anything to do with a certain someone?”
She knew damn well who this had to do with, and you weren’t naive to that fact.
“Well, he’s...” How did you explain what you were about to ask Wanda to do without sounding vain and obsessive? “He’s being fucking ridiculous, okay? Way more so than usual. It’s like, he won’t even get within three feet of me because he’s afraid I’ll touch him and figure out what his deal is, and that’s getting in the way of our therapy progress, which is getting me bad feedback scores from Fury, and it’s fucking tanking my agent proficiency grade, okay? Bucky can be mad or cagey or whatever he wants to be, but when it starts getting in the way of my job, I’m not okay with it. And it wouldn’t even be that big of a deal if he wasn’t swearing up and down that nothing happened the night of the party, but he wouldn’t be acting like this if that were the case, right? Something’s got to be wrong. I know his normal feelings, and what he’s giving me aren’t those.” You exhaled a breath, not sure how long you’d been holding all of that in for. It felt good to get it all off your chest, in any case.
Wanda only stared at you, seeming unsure of how to proceed. Sympathy contrasting with humor rolled from her mind in waves, leaving a sweet taste on the tip of your tongue. Her emotions always tasted of honey, no matter how upset she was. “And... what exactly does all of this have to do with me?”
Oh, right. Your master plan.
“Well... assuming you’re willing to help me...” Wanda wouldn’t judge you, right? And even if she did, best friends were all but obligated to roll with it anyway. Right? “I need you to take me inside my memories so that I can see what all happened that night. I can’t remember what went down and Bucky says nothing really did, but he wouldn’t be acting this way if that were the truth. And I mean, I don’t wanna force him to tell me because he’s obviously uncomfortable with it, but I figure the memory is mine, so it wouldn’t be prying, would it? I have just as much a right to it as he does.”
Wanda shrugged a shoulder and gave a single nod of her head. “Okay. Sure.”
You arched an eyebrow, blinking in surprise. “Wait, really?” That had been way easier than you were expecting.
“Yeah,” Wanda answered simply. “I have nothing to do for the rest of the day and I’m nosy by nature. Pretty sure I’m just as curious as you are.”
Wanda Maximoff was a fucking saint.
She offered you a smile, and took your hand in hers, giving you access to her emotions and letting you know she found this all painfully amusing, though in good fun. “Close your eyes, and concentrate. I’ll try and get us as close to where you want to be, but let me know if I overshoot. I’m still not the best at pulling up specific memories.” And suddenly, the world around you faded away into nothingness, leaving you and Wanda sitting in a dark void, her eyes glowing a brilliant shade of crimson.
The darkness faded away almost immediately as it came, swirling and opening up, transporting you and Wanda onto a chilly rooftop, hundreds of elegantly dressed people bustling around the two of you. All of their faces were bright, almost as though a spotlight was being shined on each individual, and the decorations and view of the city skyline beyond it all were distorted, warped at the edges.
Beside you, Wanda let out a low whistle, blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted to the brightness. “You really were drunk, weren’t you?”
“Beyond,” you muttered, shaking your head. Just looking at the memory made you feel nauseous, and not just because of the disorientation that came with viewing it. It was entirely too east to recall how the alcohol you’d consumed had so totally effected you. “I think I’m—“
“I love Bucky! He’s like a marshmallow, right? He’s soft and sweet, but he has the potential to be even softer and sweeter. When’s he getting here?”
Your heart dropped in your chest out of embarrassment at the sound of your own voice, your eyes flying to the source of it. There, at a table placed in the outskirts of the seating area, were you and Steve, your head right in front of his as you cupped both his cheeks and stared him right in the eyes. For a moment you were caught off guard at how surreal it felt to see yourself as someone else, but the effect was lost on you as you observed. Jesus, you were right up in Steve’s business, weren’t you?
“We went too far back,” Wanda told you, chuckling under her breath as she watched the sight. “You and Bucky weren’t alone until after we all found each other.”
You nodded, cringing internally as you watched yourself continue to express to Steve just how soft his friend was. “Can you take us further in? Please?” God, you owed Steve the biggest apology.
Wanda simply nodded, squeezing your hand where she still held it and her eyes glowing crimson once more. The sight was mildly unsettling, but equally cool to look at. Your surroundings blurred, morphing into darkness once more before solidifying into the dim, lamp lit setting of your bedroom. The television set into the wall was on, showing images of the ball drop in Times Square with a countdown running in the bottom corner. Two forms were present on your bed, and it took you a few moments to process that one was Bucky, and one was yourself. You were curled into his side, your head tucked beneath his chin and your arm draped over his waste, your legs tangled together and Bucky’s fingers absently threading through your hair.
You gasped, taken aback at the purity of the affection bleeding into you from both parties you were observing. From your former self, you were picking up wholehearted content and bliss, and the smile present on your face as Bucky’s fingers whispered across your scalp spoke only of honest happiness. That was fair; you were definitely fond of Bucky, that was certain, and you had never been able to stop yourself from entertaining certain thoughts about him, even back when he’d been acting awful and calling you names. In fact, Bucky himself wasn’t naive to your attraction to him; he teased you about it constantly. Even if he wasn’t aware of the full extent of your feelings, he had to have suspected.
Your feelings, of course, you had been privy to; yours weren’t what were sending a thrill of shock and grudging hope through your chest.
Bucky’s aura was glowing. That was... that was the only way to describe the sight before you. At first you had assumed it had been part of the drunken air distorting your memories, but this scene was particularly sobering, and you knew very suddenly that your state of intoxication wasn’t the reason for what you saw. The ease with which his mouth tipped into a smile, the gentle caress of his fingers through your hair, the way his chin was so carefully perched atop the crown of your head — the way his eyes were shining, it was all so indescribably iridescent.
“You don’t hate me, do you?” your voice, quiet and timid, rang through the otherwise silent room.
Bucky’s brows furrowed in concern, and he brushed your chin with his thumb once before returning his metal fingers to your hair. “What kind of question is that?”
“... A good one?”
At that, he scoffed, and the tilt to the corners of his mouth was so wonderfully gentle that you almost couldn’t believe your eyes. Bucky had never been so openly and casually affectionate with anyone since you’d met him, least of all you. You considered him a friend, sure, but what he was doing with your former self went beyond that. “You’re drunk, Y/n. Just try and rest a little bit.”
Beside you, Wanda inclined her head, eyes flitting between you and the scene you both observed. “Was this it, do you think? Seems silly for him to get all worked up over some PG cuddling.”
“I’m not sure,” you answered, still not looking away from what you were witnessing. A certain lightness was settling over you, one which told a tale of uncertain longing. Was this yours, currently? Or was this what you could now remember picking up from Bucky? Why was it so difficult for you to tell? “I guess we better stick around a little longer. Just to make sure.”
But that wasn’t the only reason you wanted to stay. No, if you were being honest... you just weren’t ready to let go of the serenity quite yet.
Wanda and you watched, waiting to see if any major changes were to come, and listened as Bucky entertained your former self and her drunken musings. Huh; so the man did have a sense of patience and tolerance. Where did that go when he was teaching you combat?
The minutes ticked down, one by one, and you were beginning to think that perhaps you had overreacted. Maybe Bucky had been telling the truth, after all; maybe the excessive amounts of cuddling you two had partaken in had just unsettled him somewhat, and he hadn’t wanted to embarrass you over something you couldn’t even remember happening.
His aura in your memory, though, wasn’t showing you any discomfort in the slightest. His emotions were light, airy, content. Nothing was wrong here.
“It is now one minute to midnight,” Jarvis announced, voice bouncing off the walls of your room.
“Bucky!” you had exclaimed, readjusting yourself to look him in the eyes. The smile you saw yourself with was much more telling than you’d have liked to admit. “It’s about to be 2018! You have to make a wish!”
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” he told you, but you had already closed your eyes. A moment later and Bucky closed his as well, following your lead with a fine shake of his head.
“Oh my god, he made a wish anyway,” Wanda whispered beside you, looking for all the world like she was witnessing a real life soap opera take place. “That’s so fucking cute.”
You declined to respond, focusing intently on Bucky’s face. He looked peaceful, with his eyes shut tight and his arms wrapped around you. For a moment you wondered if this was what he had been like before, back in the thirties and with no knowledge of the traumas of war. It was easy to imagine the stars in his eyes which must have been present, the innocent wonder he would have expressed when talking of dreams and the future. In this moment, witnessing how serene he looked, you would have died in order to make this his norm.
You kissed him, suddenly. Or, not you, but your former self did, leaning up to press your mouth against his just as the last second to midnight ticked away. It was nothing passionate, nothing over the top or awfully romantic or sensual. The whole thing was over in maybe three seconds, but you could feel the surprise which had overcome him at your actions.
“Y/n?” he had whispered, glancing down at the top of your head as you settled it back down to rest on his chest. “What was that for?”
“Just figured it had been a while since you had one of those,” you had slurred, patting his shoulder. “And I thought if anyone deserves a midnight kiss it’s you, since you’re missing the party to take care of me when you could be kissing a pretty girl upstairs or something.”
A pause, and then he replied softly, “Well I just kissed you, didn’t I? And you’re plenty pretty.”
Wanda appeared to be having an issue containing her reaction to this, muscles tensing and her emotions telling you that her heart was melting for you.
“Pretty words from a pretty man,” your former self had mumbled, words muffled by Bucky’s shirt. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“Well, do you trust me?”
“About as far as you can throw me. So, like, a lot.”
Bucky shook his head, gently leaning down to press his nose to the top of your head. “Just get some rest, okay? You seem like you could use it.”
“‘Kay,” you had conceded, eyes falling shut. After a few more moments of silence, you went on to say, “In case no one’s told you lately, you’re a good person. I hope you know that.”
Bucky shook his head, eyes wandering up to the ceiling. “Pretty words from a pretty girl, Y/n.”
But you had already fallen asleep.
The world around you and Wanda faded away as the memory ended, returning you to her room where you were both perched on her bed. It took your eyes a few moments to adjust to the brightness of everything, the light of the afternoon streaming in through Wanda’s windows and painting stripes of sunshine across your skin. Normally you’d have welcomed the warmth of it, but at the moment you would have given anything to get back to that memory, just to see the sight of yourself being lovingly cradled in Bucky’s arms, to see a softness to him which you hadn’t even known he’d possessed.
“I don’t get it,” Wanda told you, her eyes having returned to their normal shade of green. “He seemed like he was happy with you. If that was all that happened and if he liked it, why would he be acting so weird around you?”
Coincidentally, you were wondering the same thing. Nothing had been wrong just then, in your memory. You had been happy. Bucky had been happy, and more expressive than you could have ever wished for. Why would he have kept you at arm’s length? Why would he have gone out of his way to distance himself from you? Between falling asleep with one another and waking up the next morning to his teasing laughter all those weeks ago, what had changed?
You don’t remember anything from last night? Nothing at all?
“I have a feeling,” you sighed, rolling your eyes at yourself and trying to take a deep breath in an effort to calm your nerves. “Look, I’m gonna... I’m gonna fix this.”
Wanda scoffed. “Uh, yeah, I sure hope you are. If you don’t, I certainly will.” Enter Wanda Maximoff, your and Bucky’s apparent number one fan. “What are you gonna do?”
“I’m not sure yet,” you admitted, shaking your head. The situation was suddenly so much more complicated than it had been before you’d entered Wanda’s room. Half an hour ago you’d been under the impression that you had just done something to embarrass your friend. Now you were conscious of the fact that feelings, both his and yours, were at play. “But I’ll figure it out. But, just... could you maybe not tell him about this? Technically we were rooting around in my head and not his, but I know he’ll flip.”
Wanda grasped your hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze as she offered you a kind, understanding smile. Arguably your closest friend in this tower, Wanda was. You were so thankful for everything that she had done for you. “Obviously I’m not gonna say anything, dork.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Thanks, Wanda. And thank you... thank you for helping me get the memory back. It really means a lot to me.”
She only smiled and squeezed your hand tighter as she responded with, “What else are best friends for?”
Part 9
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m0onbean · 7 years
Text
Bonfire (Camp Counselor AU!) Chapter 4
Tumblr media
category: floofy
pairing: sanha X reader
warnings: cussing
note: WOW I FINALLY UPDATED THIS SERIES! sorry it took so long... i lost inspiration to write anymore, was caught up in requests, and a whole bunch of other shit. enjoy!
What you expected for your first night at Camp Moon was definitely not a shirtless MJ running around the cabin clanging pots and Moonbin screaming BTS lyrics.
"EXTRA PLUS ORDINARY... GEUGEOTTO BYEOL GEO ANYEOOOO!!"
Groaning, you used the pillow you brought from home to muffle your ears. "DO NOT WAKE ME UP UNLESS YOU ARE RAP MONSTER."
Hurt, Moonbin clenched his chest but left the room anyways. You heard groaning from above you which reminded you of Sanha's presence.
"Good morning Sanha," you sighed and started to climb out of your scrambled bed. You heard some shuffling of blankets above you and a lengthy yawn. Chuckling, you finally manage to leave the room to brush your teeth and get ready for the day.
When you finished and closed the lights to the restroom, you were taken aback by the glowing face standing in the door way.
"AH!" You yelped and stumbled back. Upon closer inspection, you realized that it was just Rocky... being Rocky.
His customized flashlight was shining under his chin and he was smiling mischievously. "Good morning (Y/N), ROCKY SWAG. It's currently 6 am, congrats for waking up earlier than Sanha!"
"Kinda difficult to not wake up when MJ is literally slamming metal pots together and Moonbin is screaming lyrics to Not Today," you sarcastically replied and headed back towards Sanha's room.
Rocky chuckled and followed behind you, "Be prepared for that every weekday morning. Which reminds me..." he pulled out a crumpled paper from his hoodie pockets and tried to straighten it out. After failing at straightening out the completely wrecked piece of paper, he just handed it to you.
You looked over it curiously and saw that it was a document that held this entire week's schedule. "Right now we're going to eat breakfast in the mess hall and come back and start preparing for our kids to arrive later at 12," Rocky explained as you read everything.
Nodding your head, you attempted to fold it neatly and place it in your pockets. "Sounds great! I'm excited to meet our kids."
He smiled, "They're always wonderful every year. By the way, since we have some time, head over to the office to get your own flashlight right now."
Obeying him, you quickly changed into a shirt, jeans, and hoodie, and marched down to the office. As you headed there, you caught a glimpse of the other camps' cabins. They were of all different sizes, representing how many people were in each camp. Clearly, Camp Moon had the smallest cabin, but possibly the nicest one.
At a glance, Camp Sun's cabin could definitely be mistaken for an office. It was no wonder why you accidentally approached them first, mistaking them as the office instead of an ACTUAL cabin. It was ENORMOUS. Different flyers and posters were taped on the front door and it basically gave off that official vibe.
A shiver ran down your spine when you were reminded of your encounter with Howie. To think that you shook his hand even frightens you to this day,
Upon arriving at the office, you noticed some adults working at the front desk, occupied with their work. You opened the glass door to be welcomed with a powerful heater blasting warmth. Sighing in relief, you walk up to one of the workers and greet them.
The woman had round glasses on, brown bangs, and a cute camp outfit. "Hi my name is Leslie, nice to meet you!" she shook your hand and sweetly smiled.
"Nice to meet you too! My name is (Y/N), I'm new here." you cheerfully replied.
"Ah, are you the new Moon everyone's been talking about?"
You were caught off guard. "H-huh?"
Leslie cocked her head at your unawareness. "Yeah! Everyone's been talking about how Camp Moon finally got a new member after years... and how it's a girl!"
Scratching the back of your neck, you looked down to the floor in embarrassment. "Oh... yeah. That's me."
"Well, welcome! It's really amazing how you fit into that camp. I'm in Camp Venus, I just got duty to work in the office for now."
"Oh, nice! About that, I'm here to customize my flashlight."
"Okay, follow me!" she gestured you to another room where different sorts of machines lined up against the wall. Shelves and cabinets were everywhere, making the room really look like an arts and crafts room.
"What color do you want your flashlight to be?" Leslie asked while looking through the different cabinets.
"What colors have been taken already?" you asked while watching her.
She hums and takes out a document. "Jinjin took green, MJ yellow, Eunwoo blue, Moonbin black, Rocky red, and Sanha pink." (these are based on their power ranger colors from ASTRO OK READY)
"I'll take white then," you answered while remembering how Sanha showed you his snazzy pink flashlight.
Leslie nodded while scribbling on her notebook. "I'll make the flashlight right now and give it to you during lunch."
Thanking her, you were about to turn out the door before she stopped you.
"Wait... You know Jinjin right?" she hastily asked and a pink tint rose on her small face.
You rotated your body to face her again. "Yeah. The one who talks slowly right?"
She laughed, mouth curling up and eyes smiling. "Yup, that's him! He's always been like that."
"What about him?"
"Oh... u-uh... can you ask if..." she shyly lowered her voice. "-he likes me?"
Upon arriving at the cabin, you saw that everybody had woken up and was running around the house in a rush. They all screamed good morning at you not before rushing in and out doors.
"What's going on?" you asked curiously while dodging all of their movements.
"We're behind schedule!" Eunwoo screeched while trying to pull up a sock on his foot.
Shoving your hands in your pockets, you took the crumpled schedule out and tried to read the text. Indeed, you all were supposed to be at the mess hall by now.
"It's all because Sanha couldn't get out of bed earlier!" Rocky whined while sitting at the couch casually, waiting for everybody.
Once they were all done washing up, everybody walked out the door, bodies shivering from the morning air. Although you put an extra layer of sweater on, it was still cold. Why didn't you bring any winter coats?!
Sanha noticed your arms shaking so he walked up behind you and hugged you tightly while waddling like a duck. Giggling, you copied his motion and the both of you waddled together with his arms wrapped around your body.
"Get a room," Moonbin groaned and hugged himself alone.
As you all walked across the mountain to reach the mess hall, you spot another group also heading towards there. The group was made of a TON of people marching simultaneously.
"Who's that?" you quietly asked.
"Camp Sun." Jinjin answered in a low voice.
It was pretty obvious considering the extremely buff and large man leading them all, Howie. Sanha hugged you tighter as you all kept on walking while keeping wary eye contact of them.
Inevitably, the both of your camps met at the front of the mess hall. Howie gave your group the stink eye. "You guys are late... as expected of you Moons."
"We could say the same about you," Eunwoo scoffed.
The buff man scowled, "Be prepared to get your asses beat in the tournament next month. We have practiced all the games together and let's just say you'll be faced with another defeat... again."
His eyes met yours and he examined you carefully. "Huh, a new girl? Aren't you the menace who came up to my door on the first day?"
Your body stiffened, "Yes. I'm so glad it was the wrong door."
He cackled, ice driping off the edge of his voice. "All of us agree. We wouldn't want a weak girl like you here anyways."
"HEY! Don't fucking call her that when you don't even know her." Sanha suddenly barked while gripping tightly onto your hoodie.
Howie eyed him suspiciously, "Why? Defending your GIRLFRIEND I see?"
A blush crept up on Sanha's cheeks. Before Jinjin could beat Howie's ass, the door to the mess hall flung open. Behind the doors stood a tall lady with tied back blonde hair.
"You guys are so freaking late! Get your asses in here!" she scolded and turned around back to the cafeteria.
After giving eachother one last death glare, the two of you entered the huge auditorium. Loud conversations boomed in the room as soon as you stepped in. Lunch tables were set up with a bunch of people sitting at them together. The boys lead you to a table near the walls of the room and you all sat down together.
"Sorry you had to see that (Y/N)... we have bad tension with Camp Sun." Jinjin muttered shamefully.
"Oh, it's fine." you waved off.
"They're way too competitive, but we don't accept their hate like that," MJ spitefully said, venom dripping off his voice much different than his usual honey sweet vocals.
Sanha stayed silent with his head bowed down shamefully. You nudged his shoulder, "Are you okay?"
He nodded at you but said nothing else. As the other members talked amongst themselves, your hand found Sanha's and your fingers interlaced.
"Sanha... tell me what's wrong," you quietly urged so the other members wouldn't hear.
He sighed in defeat and glanced at you, "I just don't like how Camp Sun is probably going to pick on you now for being a 'girl' which I don't even understand..."
Giving him a reassuring smile, you squeezed his hand. "It's fine Sanha. I can handle myself."
He crooked his eyebrow silently but squeezed your hand back anyways. "I'm trusting you to stay strong (Y/N)..."
"What are you two talking about?" MJ nosed in by stretching his arm and leaning next to you guys.
"What did we say about choosing favorites!" Jinjin pouted solemnly.
"Ah, I'm sorry guys! It's just that I had something to ask Sanha, that's it!" you urgently insisted.
They all rolled their eyes and gave you a we're salty and you should further explain yourself look. To your defense, Sanha also spoke up, "Don't worry, she was just checking on me."
Moonbin suspiciously eyed how you two were still holding hands under the table. Realizing what it looked like, you quickly released your hand from Sanha's and shoved it back in your pocket. "I-It's not what it looks like..."
MJ gasped dramatically and stood up. "(Y/N)... You're cheating on us?!"
Everybody else except both you and Sanha's burning faces all stood up and gasped.
"What about us? What about everything we've been through?" Eunwoo sang with his face in his hands.
"And what about trust?" Moonbin continued and sobbed.
"Guys sit down everybody's watching!" you hissed at them like a mother while forcing their bodies back down on their butts.
To your relief, the High School Musical performance was immediately ceased once a familiar round glasses girl walked up to your table and tapped your shoulder next to you. "Hi (Y/N)!"
"Oh, Leslie!" you exclaimed more happily than it should've sounded.
"Since you're new here, want me to give you a tour of the camp? That is, if you haven't seen it yet," she pushed up her glasses.
"That sounds great!" you jumped up to her offer.
Sanha pouted and grabbed your arm carefully. "I thought you were going to eat breakfast with us."
Leslie looked at him weirdly, "I think she should have a tour here first."
Moonbin jumped in, "No, she should stay here with us since we've only known eachother for one day and we hadn't had breakfast together yet. The tour can wait."
"Well, I think the tour should be now since she won't have a chance to go on it later due to the incoming children," Leslie firmly tugged on your arm.
Looking back and forth, you were left speechless.
"Why don't we just let (Y/N) decide by herself?" Jinjin offered. Leslie's facial expressions immediately softened when her eyes met his.
"U-uh yeah. Sounds good," she retreated like a cat moonwalking back to the shadows.
Everybody's faces turned to yours expectantly.
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journal-of-j34n31 · 7 years
Text
friday, july 21 2017
4:11 AM;
okay, technically it’s saturday the 22nd. however, all these events happened on the written date above SO. damn has my life been crazyyy. let’s start with what happened the night before. me and ae were on facetime and trying to cop these new shoes (adidas x henry poole). although that mission was a bust, it had me late night thinking and simping about how much i miss his presence, as well as how happy he makes me. (sidenote, me and av were catching up like old times. sending tweets and shit to each other and it was actually kind of nice) being such a late night, i thought it’d be super amaze beans if i sent that random appreciation text to adrian. unfortunately, i ended up crashing before i could. i woke up without a text message from him so i figured he was not awake yet. this was the perfect opportunity to send out that text. so this is what i came up with after two hours of trying to figure out what to say, how to say it, etc:
good morning baby! i was planning on sending this after you fell asleep but my phone died and i crashed waiting for it to turn back on 😅 anyways i just wanted to say thank you for everything you have done for me because no one has ever treated me as good as you or taken care of me the way that you do. i am so genuinely happy and i promise it's all because of you. no one has ever given me that in the past 18 years. it makes me happy just being in your presence alone. i am so so so grateful that i can truly say i look at you as so much more than my boyfriend. babeee, you're my best mf friend. like ken is continually saying, you are like a boy version of me (even though we still clearly have many differences). i find every single thing about you perfect, even the things you may not like about yourself. it may sound weird or whatever but it's crazy how the things you say have an effect on me more than anyone else's. maybe because i know the things you say to me are sincere, but that's why it means so much to me. no matter what mood i'm in, you can always change that. especially when i'm cranky or upset, you are patient with me. you know the right things to say when i need comfort and security. i feel so safe knowing i can go to you for whatever, whenever, and you will be right there. you have shown/taught me things that no one else ever has and you have pushed me to become a better version of myself. i love the fact that there is always so much more to you that others, including myself, haven't seen yet because it's exciting. you got me feeling so much for you that i have never felt towards anyone else, which it's scary. however, you are giving me constant reassurance that everything i put into this relationship is given back to me. you don't make me feel stupid for the little things like wanting to keep that streak of seeing you everyday. it means so much more to me than a streak. it shows me how you would stop at nothing to go that extra mile just to see me once a day, even if that means for a little bit. the smallest things you do means so much to me, especially because i have a habit of overthinking a lot. you might think that me telling you all this is random but i just wanted to tell you how much i appreciate you and everything you do isn't going unnoticed. i wanted to remind you how lucky i am to have you and being able to call you mine. i honestly don't understand how i got you or what i did to deserve you, but i'm not complaining oneee bit. people that have known me since i was a little kid understand how picky of a person i am and when those same people are telling me how they genuinely see how happy i am and perfect you are for me are words i have never heard or thought i'd hear this early in my life. the fact that i am constantly being told this from people outside of our relationship just shows me something i don't even know how to describe, but it's such a good feeling. i am so blessed to have you in my life and especially by my side. i hope you slept like a little babyyy, GOOD MORNINGGG x2 😘❤ i was trying to get this to you before you got up and started doing things but it's ok
he replied with:
Oh man baby, I didn't expect this at all. 🙆🏼 I just woke up right now actually. I was tossing and turning, not able to put myself to sleep till about 4. 😪 I think it's completely fine now since I've woken up to this massive gift of a message. ❤️😍 just listening to everything you said here I feel like I'm hearing from your voice directly. Simply everything that you provide me never goes unnoticed. At times you see me get distracted w playing games and watching games, and I sometimes get caught up and I hope you don't feel like I'm dissing you and pushing you to the side. I want you to know that you are definitely my highest priority and although it might take me a little while to put the game away, I understand that we don't have all day so we gotta make the time we have count. 💪🏼 I've been stressing about how this year plan has been changing so frequently and I could imagine how it's effecting you. No matter the circumstance, we'll figure something out. We always do. I just want you to know that you have me to talk about this shenanigans even though it might get you upset since you may not know what's happening. Thank you for the lovely message my baby, it means the world that we are bhillen on the highest level and are completely invested in each other. 😘
then i said:
4 AM?! you're brazyyy, babe! awwww, you're so cute :( it's just whenever i see you and you're on you're phone it makes me upset because sometimes i have to go the whole day without even being able to talk to you and when i see you all i want to do is spend time with you, especially if you can't stay for that long. i get it though, you said with you being so busy you don't even have time to do that so i just wait. sometimes i wish we met sooner so that we would've had more time to spend together before we'd have to leave for college but everything happens for a reason and i'm glad 2017 gave me you. i also feel that it's the right time we met right now because i think we're old and mature enough to be in a real relationship and understand what all this is about. as scared i am for the future, i am excited. i believe and trust that if it's meant to be then it'll work out no matter what. i don't think either of us would throw it out so easily without a fight. ❤ of bourse baby, alwaysss 😘 you said bhillen :')
there goes a start to a perfect morning already. with all this waiting around, the day we finally say “i love you” better be one of the best days of our lives. i can’t wait to finally let him know how much i am inlove with his ass. i went about my day on twitter and whatnot. decided to wash my face and brush my teeth and do my makeup as i wait to see what he has planned. so he calls me and tells me that he has to deal with things from his insurance from that one accident we ran into. as he came over, we layed in bed and watched titanic. i did his eyebrows while he was playing his little games. we were both starving so decided to go to in n out. he eats so mf quick, it gives me anxietyyy. i even left my bag in the seat we were sitting at, and we were already to the car so my ass ran all the way back almost hitting the car next to us because both of our doors were open. we got back to the house, watched his gaming videos, and we finally fucked while i was on my period because ae is a brazyyy animal and had looked if it were safe to do so the day before. it was not as bad as we thought. we used a condom that i grabbed while we were in the car on the way home from in n out, laid my softball blanket under him, and bam. it happened. i had to run to the bathroom and grab toilet paper lmaooo. afterwards, we played fun run 2 and he gave me one of those bomb ass booty massages. we headed out towards the pool where we say jj and chic0. (another sidenote, it’s bs how debut practices are always being planned literally the second before it is supposed to start. like, i got plans) it was nice just bhillen in the freezing pool and then relaxing in the hot tub. when we finished, we sat in the car and got lit as fuck. i was so excited to get home because we were going to shower together. let me tell you, that shower sex WHILE WE WERE HIGH was hype as fuckkk. 10/10 recommend. we layed back down in my bed and were just talking. he did something and i slipped out “i love that” and idk man i guess he thought i said “i love you” and asked “what did you say?” he got all smiley and laughed to prevent himself from crying and i could’ve sworn in that moment he was about to say those 3 words. i started crying because i was thinking of how happy he makes me, at the same time i was high and ending my period. GUESS WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED NEXT. my parents get home and we smoked before so we can chill in the room and not have to worry about them seeing us. BUT, BITCH, they walked in my room and was like “we got you a late graduation present!” AS I WAS HIGH AND CRYING. jay was recording me and everything like i was just crying my nigga. they put the key into a victorias secret bag and THEY GOT ME A MF CAR. before that, i checked their location and saw they were at the dealership (when we were smoking) and jokingly said “watch them get a new car”. i got a spankin’ new white nissan altima. that shit fresh. it was so hard to act sober and i made the stupid mistake of agreeing to take it on a test drive around the neighborhood. bro, this is weird that III have my OWN car. fuck bro. that’s insane. then me and ae went back to my room, got bomfortable, and crashed. he woke up at 2:45 AM and woke me up as well, telling me it was his time to dip. my baby got home safe and sound and i went back upstairs to brush my teeth and wash my face. ahhh, today was such a good day. if only we actually said those three words today then it would’ve been JUST as memorable. my life is on a continuous roller coaster, but i wouldn’t have it any other way (kinda). the only thing i’m lost about is school. palomar vs csusm. the only thing getting me through this is how supportive my baby is of me no matter where i end up. he told me he can’t wait to show up to my games and support me 100%. if we play sdsu, he told me that he would root for me and then hand me a shirt to wear afterwards that reads “sdsu girlfriend”. fuck bro, i want to spend the rest of my life with him. forever. 
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alrightpoppins · 7 years
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all the questions b/c why not :)
you’re my new best friend.
this thing is 50 questions long so it’s under the cut 👍
1. do you have any recurring dreams? what are they?
lately i’ve had a recurring dream of beating the shit out of my cousin.. so there’s that
2. what is your favourite kind of fruit?
hmm.. either clementines, pears, or peaches
3. sweet or savoury?
savory
4. what is your smallest/pettiest fear?
ants. i freak the fuck out if there are ants around me.
5. what is your least favourite vegetable?
probably sweet potatoes. that’s like the only vegetable i can think of that i dislike. i hate sweet potatoes.
6. what is your favourite art movement?
either surrealism or pop art
7. do you drink milk?
no i really should.
8. what was the last line of the last book you read?
…i can’t remember the last book i finished… fuck i miss having time to read.
9. do you like bitter food?
 i can’t really think of any but probably not. i’m too bitter to eat bitter foods too.
10. what is the most significant event in your life so far?
i just did some deep ass thinking and like.. it had to have been my dad leaving. like i don’t even remember that but my life would be 100% different if he hadn’t so i have to say that.
11. what is one thing ( a book, movie, etc ) that has greatly affected you?
 i’m gonna nerd out…
 the wizard of oz bc that’s been my favorite movie since i was 2 years old and if happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why oh can’t i?
harry potter bc oh mY GOD. that’s like a whole world that is so fucking special and welcoming and magical and do you know how much a fucked up little kid needs magic bc it’s a lot man.
also… supergirl. bc alex danvers is so fucking special to me and her personality, her family values/dynamics, her coming out story are all so relevant and important to me and i cry about it a lot okay??
12. what is your favourite breed of dog or cat?
PITBULLS. i mean all dogs i love every single one of them but pitbulls are the best. and cats… idk i guess fat ones 😂
13. list your top 5 favourite turtle names.
like names that i would choose for a turtle? i love this question.
bubba, roscoe, franklin, squirtle, crush
14. what job would you have if you could have it without going through all of the school or experience that is required?
either a veterinarian or a children’s psychologist
15. are there any names that you dislike so much that you would dislike the person with the name? what are those names?
my dislike of names always comes from disliking a person with that name. and then it ruins the chances of me liking someone else with the same name. for instance: jason
16. what is your favourite letter?
L, J, or G because i like writing them in cursive
17. are there any instruments you wished you played?
i really wish i could play the drums and piano
18. list your best friends.
ellie, nicole, sam, jake, angie, my mom, my grandma
19. would you rather be a skeleton or a ghost?
ghost. definitely.
20. do you prefer fish or lizards/snakes? (as pets)
i’ve never had a lizard or snake so i guess fish.
21. art or music?
music is art??
but if you mean music or visual art, i’d say music.
22. what is your favourite type of flower?
gardenias. i’m trash.
23. soup or salad?
salad.
24. are you good at keeping plants alive?
i haven’t attempted this since i was like 6.
25. do animals tend to like you?
yes which is good bc i love them.
26. what is the worst book you’ve ever read?
i can’t really say. the only one that i never finished was Go Ask Alice.
27. do you collect anything?
not anymore.
28. how many pillows do you sleep with?
as many as i can possibly fit on my bed.
29. whats the latest you’ve ever woken up?
well i woke up at 2pm today. let’s just say that that isn’t my record.
30. how many pictures are on your walls?
sO MANY I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU. i fucking love pictures.
31. what age did you stop keeping stuffed animals on your bed?
i still have stuffed animals on my bed lmao.
32. what is your favourite candy?
probably gummy bears or 100 gram bars.
33. what is your favourite baked good?
the iced lemon cookies my aunt made for christmas this year. new discovery.
34. do you have a camera? if so, what kind?
yes i have a polaroid camera.
i also have a nicer one but i haven’t used it in a long time. i don’t know the exact model, it’s a fujifilm.
35. do you wear jewelry?
yep. every day i wear my cross, the prayer bracelet sam got me, my rainbow ring, and my class ring. i usually have another 2 bracelets and another ring too.
36. sunrise or sunset?
idek. both man.
37. do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?
either way. i blast it in my room and car. headphones in public.
38. what was your favourite show as a child?
when i was like 6 it was boy meets world…. also murder she wrote.
39. describe your favourite spot in your house.
probably my bed lmao.
40. do you like to be warm or cold?
i’d rather be cold than hot but i’d always prefer warm.
41. the best joke you have.
i’m made of sarcasm, not planned jokes.
42. whats the weirdest thing that you’ve seen happen in a public place?
i’ve seen furries walking around campus before. scary shit.
43. CD or digital?
digital is more convenient but i still buy CDs when i can. i’m a tactile person.
44. who do you miss right now?
poppop. jocelyn. my friends from school. the usual suspects.
45. if you could combine two places in the world, which two places would you choose?
probably somewhere green and scenic in the mountains with either my hometown or NYC
46. describe the worst substitute teacher you’ve ever had.
one time i had a sub in my german class who joined in with some kids and made fun of our teacher and the weight of student who was absent that day. he also let us watch The Interview on youtube on fire.
there’s also mr. finestien who i simultaneously love and hate. he’s adorable and nerdy and means well but if he subs a math class he straight up continues the lesson we’re on and it was like there wasn’t even a sub.
47. do you believe horoscopes?
i think they’re fun and maybe nice bc they can tell you what you wanna hear/give a basis for a little hope. but no i don’t particularly believe in them.
48. are you spiritual?
i’m more spiritual than i am religious.
49. describe your pets ( or family if you dont have pets )
my uncle has a dog named Chaos who lives in the back of my house. he’s a doberman rottweiler mix but he’s tiny as heck, very skittish, and pees when he’s excited.
then there’s Bear. he was my other uncle’s dog but now he’s my grandma and mom’s dog. he’s huge and fluffy. he means well but he’s kind of aggressive and bites/growls at/snaps at people sometimes. he’s always sorry after.
and then there’s Jazzy. she’s my dog and from the same litter as Bear. they’re german shepherd, siberian husky, chow chow mixes. she’s bigger than bear and looks nothing like him. she’s got bright blue eyes that i love a lot. she acts big and tough, fights with Bear a lot and is mean to Chaos. but when she’s out of the house, she’s a little bitch. she’s literally run from a cocker spaniel before. she’s just like me bc she has trust issues, is lazy, likes to be alone, is very stubborn, and has a bum hip. she also eats everything in sight and is sometimes food aggressive. she only really listens to me. 
50. are you good at getting over mistakes?
NOPE. i’m bad at admitting that i was wrong in the first place so getting over it is a time. i learn from them though bc i hate being wrong so much i wanna make sure i don’t fuck up again.
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