genuinely how are ppl balancing school and work and occasionally sleeping and exercising and seeing friends

Hi Rose 🤍 My baby fever is off the charts rn!!! So can I get a hc of any of the RE characters as a baby/toddler in a daycare pls?

Ps: Ik I said any but Chris fs was a FAT baby and Leon was a mama’s boy (thinking about that one audio rn and im sobbing 🥹)

⦑ 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 ⦒

characters: leon s. kennedy, ashley graham, ethan winters, ada wong, chris redfield, claire redfield, carlos oliveira a/n: thank you maya for requesting bby!! my queen!!! also look at me getting too into this, i love these characters so so much! check out re character's reaction & their s/o's dog ! « masterlist┇reblogs appreciated! »

LEON S. KENNEDY

You are right! He is a mama's boy!!

On his first few weeks of daycare, Leon would cry the longest every time he's been dropped off.

Has a hard time adjusting to daycare, but gets used to it after making a few friends (notably chris & luis)!

He is always telling his friends and teachers in daycare about how his mama did this... mama did that... Leon is super proud of her.

Also Leon's the kind of kid who plays with cars, crashes them together and starts clapping (Not much different from the present)

ASHLEY GRAHAM

Teacher's pet just because she's always respectful, and sharing toys with her classmates.

Oftentimes, kids take advantage of that and take her toys.

Because of that, I think she's often neglected by her teachers since the other troublemaker kids need more attention, so to speak.

She would be friends with Claire as Claire would not hesitate to snitch on other kid's bad behaviour to the teacher.

Ashley loves little Sylvanian Families and play-doh - I see this developing into a slime making hobby as an adult!

ETHAN WINTERS

I'm getting the quiet, nerdy kid vibe for Ethan.

Toddler Ethan loves to collect trading cards, he doesn't necessarily know how to play the game, he just likes the glossy look of them.

I feel like he'll have trouble making friends in class because they don't understand what the cards mean to him.

Poor kid just wants someone to talk about Pokemon with.

Gets very excited about dinosaurs and will play the game "Who can name the most dinosaurs?" knowing he'll always win.

ADA WONG

Don't mess with Ada, or she'll have you regret it.

Even as a toddler, she would always get her way. Always be the first on swings.

Ada, even as a kid, enjoys her solitude and hates for that to be broken. She enjoys playing LEGO uninterrupted.

I can see her hating loud kids like Chris (And that's totally not because Chris trampled her LEGO town one time and she'd held that grudge for life)

Younger Ada teaches the other kids bad words, but somehow she is never caught, and never gotten in trouble.

CHRIS REDFIELD

Fat baby (he's just built this way)

'Accidentally' steals Claire's NERF guns, and feigns ignorance when he's confronted.

Big troublemaker at daycare. Teachers are always chasing him down but toddler Chris runs really fast.

100% Captain America enthusiast. He admires the act of serving his country, and that lead him to choose a career in military.

NERFs guns for life - I see him messing around and shooting the dart at other kids (especially Claire, usually to get back at her for snitching on him to mum)

CLAIRE REDFIELD

Younger Claire, who also inherited the Redfield attitude, takes no shit from anyone.

If Chris shoves her, Claire would shove back. And that may have resulted in a lot of sibling fights.

Strong believer of justice - Will pick fights with anyone, even big kids and adults, if she sees injustice.

Brutally honest kid - when someone asks for a compliment, she would say "That shirt makes you look fat" without batting an eye.

Alike Chris, she loves NERF guns (they often like the same guns, so it almost always turns into a brawl at the toy section)

CARLOS OLIVEIRA

Carlos, is the number one reason of all teacher's migraines in his daycare.

He is the class clown, so anything he says gets a reaction from the other kids in class (often disrupting them)

So the moment Carlos speaks (he is still focusing on whatever he's doing), the class erupts in laughter.

Toddler Carlos is the kid who mashes the music button on a toy repeatedly. A cheeky smile on his face, very entertained by it.

Also I see toddler Carlos on the trampoline a lot, often trying to jump as high as he can. Even though he is most definitely too young to be on the trampoline.

thanks for reading! come check out my other works. —yours truly, rose. tags: @valsthea @sporeghost @httpsuguru @emilzke @daydreamrot @navstuffs @custard0nut @ovaryacted © roseglazedlens — please do not repost, plagiarise, or feed to ai.

2023 In Review

for me, 2023 just kind of... came and went. very quickly. i kind of wish it didn't.

there's been some horrific mental-health stuff, not aided by what's going on, both in my little corner of the world and across the world in general. i'll start with the negatives, so we can end on a positive note - that seems like a good outlook for the year.

there's obviously the horrendous situation with the writers and actors strike, where garbage studios think paying people for their hard-made art is very much an optional thing rather than fucking mandatory. yet in this year, warner bros, the company who's the most mask-off with their transphobia (still releasing HP stuff and hiring a TERF and sandy hook truther to voice one of the most well-known female characters in mortal kombat), releases a 2 hour toy commercial and gets heralded a Feminist Masterpiece for the same messages that Mean Girls and Legally Blonde had shovelled out two decades earlier. there's also just the countless fucking genocides. i'm hoping and praying that the victims of those genocides are not wiped out, even if i've acknowledged i cannot help directly.

but in addition, i think this year just sealed the deal for me about the cosplay community. i'm still routinely dragged to cosplay events - it's either that or be socially isolated for two whole months as it's all that gets talked about - and the local 'in-crowd' community is as garbage as ever. someone a close friend wanted to hitch a ride back towards the city with just. randomly started spouting anti-trans sports propaganda to us? she started complaining about trans women 'having a biological advantage' by being taller or whatever. the absolute second that this person was away from a transmasc friend and with two people she didn't fully know, she just assumed we were both cis and went full mask-off with transphobia, and that indicates to me that things have gotten worse since i left. i want to return to cosplay badly, but the fucking community just keeps letting shit like that slide, going to a con run by a neonazi and excusing it with 'it lets me see my friends!' like they've never learned how to plan an outing more than two weeks in advance before. ultimately it makes cosplaying barely worth it; it's an expensive hobby that now only for my own validation. there's no leftist cosplayers in queensland - only people cosplaying as leftists.

it also doesn't help that, off-topic, i am pretty sure i know my dad's care for me is hollow now; something happened in september to prove it to me. there's also the fact that this year introduced me to now having chronic back pain thanks to his neglect, and i don't think i'll ever get any sort of apology from him. and while probably the least-bad thing in the list, one of the more charismatic members of a channel i'd just got introduced to had sexually harassed a semi-guest of the channel.

that said: in newer spaces, and in general, i think things are looking up. the aforementioned channel kicked the sexual harasser, and re-structured so that it was unlikely to ever happen again. i joined up with a new group of people to play Blood on the Clock Tower in-person every month and online a few times a week - and quite frankly i would trust those people with my life. i think just having something to do that isn't a popularity contest has been healing. i'm not super close to the people there yet (or maybe im misjudging it? i don't know how healthy relationships irl work if i'm honest). sewing has been fun, as has finding out an interest in vintage patterns - i'm hoping in 2024 to actually make some of them. finding resources for free patterns (via mood.com - a really good resource, i've found) and having fun with the creation has also been fun, though my fabric stash is getting pretty full now thanks to my many trips to a second-hand fabric store. the last con of the year also wasn't all bad; really only cementing my decision to remove myself at the very end of the con day. i wouldn't have considered coming back at all if the con hadn't been a fun time; even getting to meet someone who was a fan of my youtube channel. a recent bout of hostility for a two-year-old video because someone decided to grift off it had given me doubts about my channel; bad or not, those videos are still fully mine, more than, say, somerton- sorry, i mean someone can say. but i think just being able to see someone, physically, who liked my videos, made it a lot better. (and i purchased a pronoun pin from them and the pin is super duper cute and they gave me a really cute sticker oh my god--)

so, rather than setting resolutions, i tend to set themes for years after seeing this video by SCP Grey that offers it as an alternative. this year was the Year of Education - a year where i did my best to focus on my learning and educational pursuits. at the start of the year i set myself three semi-goals that could change; to do my Master's in Arts, to keep learning Japanese, and to learn corsetmaking techniques.

i wound up re-joining my university in the middle of the year to do my Honours in Creative Industries, focusing on adapting social deduction games and their game theories into the design of a narrative. i'm a little behind on the narrative itself, but the articles i've read and the definitely-research-and-not-a-thinly-veiled-excuse-to-play-games have both been fascinating for me, both in how much theory is kind of just ableist bonkers nonsense and what thin bits of truth are actually present (in all people, deception requires more cognitive thought; there's usually either scriptedness or a very slight delay when someone's trying to deceive - which proved useful when i finally watched roblox_oof.mp3 and noticed both in mister tallarico's behaviour).

my education with japanese fell by the wayside - i got burned out trying to keep up my streak with moving house yet again, and just kind of did the bare minimum to keep up the streak and stay in the diamond league. i think some of my basics have gotten a bit stronger, but that's all.

with that said, i learned a lot more about making clothes over the course of the year! admittedly, i still struggle with making a skirt fit correctly (it is either severely too big for me even with elastic in the back, or just small enough to be uncomfortable in day-to-day wear) but i think i've created a bodice block that fits close enough. i've also kind of fallen in love with a second hand place sort-of near my house that sells a lot of vintage and second-hand fabrics for cheap, which is really useful as a seamstress living on unemployment who'd like to make All Of The Things. i did also make a corset this year, but aside from the busk, it used some really shoddy materials - i accidentally made the lining layer out of broadcloth rather than twill or herringbone and the outer layer was a polyester brocade and a polyester waist tape, meaning the entire thing was just. the itchiest fucking thing in the universe. (and i was wearing an underlayer, it didn't do much to help). i have materials to remake it, i've just been unsure how to go about it.

so that's been my year (alongside obscene amounts of baldur's gate 3). onto 2024 and the goals there!

hey. fuck, i dont even know why im sendin this in. i'm the last one in my session, there's still shit to do, i'll have to get off my ass and do it eventually, but, uh. yeah it's just lonely as shit out here, heheh. um. sage of void. just. saying hello i guess! might see if i can get somewhere new with the magicant. it's been good to me so far. loneliness just doing a number on me. i hope it isnt intolerable for you, out where you are.

If you're thinking of escaping your session with the Skaian Magicant, I don't imagine you will, as a heads up. Though I do have a personal interest in saying this, because if it turns out you can do that and I went into this fuck-ass lovecraft-ass black space for no reason I might actually transmogrify myself into a public art exhibition.

I appreciate the show of solidarity from a fellow Sage, but between us both I think your situation is more dire. My main threat is mind-numbing boredom, starvation, and the possibility that I collide with something and instantly depressurize, killing me before I know it. You're still IN THE GAME, and the only advantage you have over me is better food and sunlight.

Advice on how to complete the session ASAP is somewhere between "obvious" and "you might want to look up a devoted guide". But to pay it back, I'll just tell you how I deal with the solitude and keeping up my mental wellbeing in the face of adversity.

This comes naturally to us as Sages, but bust out the whiteboard and write down everything you need to do it, with a list of steps if it's particularly involved or complicated. Not only can you cross things off (or checkmark them if it's a routine), but breaking down a daunting gauntlet into a series of smaller steps builds the fortitude of mind to take it on. For you specifically, this also boosts RP.

The Replayernet isn't just valuable for all the guides, it has things and people in it. If you have friends, keep in contact with them for the moral support. If you have hobbies, indulge them so you don't explode. If you're running low on reasons to live, "what if my favorite webcomic updates" can be enough.

Uphold your routines. Only excise them definitively, NEVER shirk them because it's not that important, you can do it later, etc. Some self-discipline builds willpower, and deciding not to do something inconsequential like brushing your teeth, changing your clothes, or checking your DMs can end up being the first step in a slow suicide., where everything becomes not that important and then you die.

Prioritizing your mental health is important, but don't neglect your duties, game-mandated or otherwise. There are times where you'll face a tough puzzle or difficult boss and want to turn in for the day and watch cartoons or something. Nobody's there to put your nose to the grindstone and regulate your behavior, so that falls upon you. Treat it like a reward for a hard day's work. Do not succumb to sedentary pleasures.

Similarly, the hobbies don't all have to be mindless pleasure, and in face shouldn't be (or shouldn't entirely be). This blog is somewhere between hobby and duty. I do it because it's useful, mentally stimulating, and challenges me in a lower-stakes environment. You can get similar results from books, puzzles, or video games. That last one is especially recommended by me, get your hands on some ROMs and an emulator. Those old-school games are simple to learn, challenging to master, not to mention you get to lord your superiority over other people by listing how many games that never got an official translation/export you've beaten.

You've probably done all of this before, or are familiar with the outline of what I'm reccomending. The advice is meant to spur you to double-down and provide structure to it. You're standing alone now, but that doesn't mean you can't build guard-rails or other systems of support to keep yourself from falling over.

I saw your “Im looking for mutuals to be friends with” post and let me tell you, I have So Many Thoughts about Shigaraki

like, I feel like people don’t really think about how tragic of a character he is! I didn’t really like the way he was framed as a “man-child” because so many of his behaviors, especially relating to video games and action figures/plushies seemed like he was genuinely in so much distress that he was involuntarily age regressing and AFO was using his impaired state of mind to manipulate him into thinking he’s playing a big game of heroes and villains

I think it’s very likely that he was stuck in the mindset of a scared little kid well into his twenties and that AFO forced himself into the role of father in a way he felt that Shigaraki would think of as normal when he knew the situation Shigaraki was in.

this is also reflected in the way that Shigaraki treats Kurogiri like an older sibling, since at the time that AFO… adopted? kidnapped? Shigaraki, he was struggling with the loss of his big sister. In all likelihood, AFO started out by trying to remake Shigaraki’s family with himself as head of the family.

YES I LOVE PARAGRAPHS P L E A S E ENABLE MY SPECIAL INTEREST 🤤

a n y w a y

I totally agree with everything you said. Shigarakis character is so tragic when you get into it. Alot of people are desensitized to media because of how fucked up anime backstories can get, so i feel like Shigarakis situation isnt treated as seriously as it should be by most of the fandom.

Alot of his mannerisms and hobbies are definitely very childish and could indicate that certain things (the hands) could trigger him into a more infantile like state of mind. Thus making him more impulsive, violent, and less concerned with the consequences of his actions with concern to other peoples lives (please note im talking about early shigaraki). Alot of times children will exhibit violent behavior not out of pure malicious interests but because they're state of mind makes them more reactive. I think shigaraki gets triggerd in his everyday life and gets triggered to become violent. For example he gets incredibly violent and angry during stressful situations, more than the fellow leauge members. So there definitely could be an argument made that some part of his brain regresses when exposed to triggers OR part of his brain is less developed due to the trauma.

His interests also show he likes more socially childish things, especially when you take into consideration that hes in japan. If you look at the picture of his room in the manga we see plushes and figurines, which adults definitely collect aswell, but the ones he collects look more like action figures and not really collectable figures (thats just my opinion though) and also the plushy shows that he does have an interest in these more childish things because i kinda doubt AFO or Kurogiri bought it for him.

When people face as bad of trauma as shigaraki did (physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, killing his entire family) its not uncommon for them, purposefully or not, to regress to a younger age usually the age at which the trauma occurred. I think shigaraki, wether or not his hobbies have to do with age regression, is at a higher risk of developing this coping mechanism. He is obviously under stress alot. And he was kidnapped by AFO and groomed. Constantly under the expectation of "demon lord" and the pressure of iving up to AFOs potential. I could definitely see him locking his door getting snacks, playing games, looking at his figures and plushies, and feeling his mind slipping him into a younger mental age. But i can also see him get triggerd by any sudden movements or violence and get involuntarily put into a more regressed state of mind.

AFO definitely is trying to make a family for tomura, but not for tomuras sake. We saw that AFO loved his brother and family obviously is something he values so want to have tomura act as his child could provide him some sort of emotional satisfaction. (Along with the satisfaction of knowing his evil is working) And shigaraki definitely treats Kurogiri like an older sibling figure, i have an older sister and the way they interact reminds me of my sister and i. I think shigaraki may subconsciously replacing hana but i also think that tomura is just hanging onto the only person who has been there and provided for him (emotionally).

Sorry if this makes no sense or has mistakes im writing this as my sleeping pills are kicking in and while im watching YouTube so my mind is all over the place but nowhere at the same time lmao im just ranting aboit shigaraki putting whatever came to mind on this post. I might sit down and make an in depth and more well put together post about this ask because i think its super interesting i love tomura shigaraki so much omfg

Thank you so much for sending this ask!!!!

Hey , I hope you are doing ok. I assume asking to type isn't inconvenient.

I'm confused for my type as my mom and sister have a completely different view of my personality than my friends. What the outside world thinks of me is a bit different than what my family thinks of me.

I do love spending time with my friends and colleagues. I'd love to meet them on the weekends. However, I feel sometimes I need to prepare for social interactions.

I do love sports a lot. I love playing and following them. At the same time, I'm quite heads deep into sci fi and interesting concepts.

I know I'm a thinker and not really a feeler

Im not good at planning nor good at following a particular plan. I just do what feels fun at the moment. I hate sticking to one thing for a long time.

I'm not particularly detail orientated. I ignore/neglect details of my work and my personal life. I have a good memory nonetheless.

At work , I'm very task oriented and a bit short term in my thinking. I'm more result oriented than process oriented.

Can you help type me. I'm 25M , working as a game developer

Hi,

So this is somewhat difficult in that I've turned off the inbox for a bit since I really do not have the time nor do I care to do more than one or two typings a month, if that, at this point, and I got four or five in the past few days but: this is extremely vague and so it's difficult to type. If you have not read the FAQ, please do so, and if you have, please review it. I will open up the inbox again in a few weeks if you want to do a follow-up.

To talk through this in the hopes of guidance:

Pretty much everyone is different around different groups of people, and different groups of people will have different views of you both because your behavior depends on the context (how you act at work is not how you act with friends which is not how you act with family) and because they are themselves different groups of people with their own opinions and preferences.

Hobbies can be helpful to an extent if they are highly specific or unique or if there is a pattern (eg, all very outdoorsy hands-on, though even then hobbies can reflect lower functions that people want to explore in a low-stakes environment) but something as broad as sports and science fiction is not helpful since again, many, many people like these.

It is good to let me know what you think of your type; but ultimately that's only a small piece of what I use, since people can be wrong, and I need examples. What led you to believe you were a thinker?

The part about planning and not being detail-oriented is useful; you are more likely a perceiver (high Ne or Se) based on this. Task and results oriented is also somewhat useful, though examples as always help.

In general a very important part of typing, and indeed the premise of typology, is seeing what traits you have that are not very common. The foundational text was named "Gifts Differing". What makes you different? Focusing on that helps eliminate things like very common hobbies, or nigh-universal behaviors.

hihihihiiiiii i’m new to tumblr but here’s my first oc, charlie. i’m still working on her design and developing them, but i still thought i’d share. :3

Name: Charlie (last name tbd) ((im super open to suggestions))

Gender: Non-binary (they/them pronouns)

Likes:

- Music, especially playing bass in their band.

- Secondhand and DIY fashion.

- Eco-conscious living and political activism.

- Vinyl record collecting.

- Art, particularly embroidery and sewing.

Dislikes:

Closedmindedness to other ideas

- Superficiality and insincere people.

- Indefference

Hobbies:

- Playing bass and music composition.

- Sewing, embroidering, and creating DIY clothing.

- Collecting and curating vinyl records.

- Participating in environmental activism.

Personality:

Charlie is passionate and embodies a blend of punk and hippie ideologies. They are environmentally conscious, politically engaged, and creative. Charlie is empathetic and values their close relationships with family and friends, particularly their dad and Jonah. They’re emotionally intelligent and well adjusted, but they’re smart too, particularly in mathematics and engineering.

Alignment and Morals:

Charlie's morals are aligned with environmental and political activism, rooted in their desire for positive change in the world. They believe in fairness, equality, and individual expression. They believe in always finishing what you’ve started.

Relationships:

Dad: Charlie shares a deeply loving and close relationship with their father. He has been a strong musical influence in their life and has played a significant role in shaping their character. He’s their biggest inspiration and greatest support.

Jonah: Jonah is not only Charlie's best friend but a bandmate as well. Their bond started in childhood, and is unbreakable, despite the challenges they face. They connect over their shared love for music, but also butt heads during moments of grief and distance (Defffff not important later).

Lorenzo: Lorenzo is another bandmate and friend of Charlie's. They value his passion for music history and appreciate his contributions to the band's creative process. They value his good listening skills and respect his dedication to the things he enjoys.

Malik: Charlie enjoys connecting with Malik through their shared interests in art and creativity. They encourage Malik to explore his artistic side as he’s been neglecting it. They love Malik’s general good vibes, positive demeanor, and stong moral compass.

Gabriel: Charlie and Gabriel have many moral and philosophical discussions.Gabriel handles the more theological side, while Charlie the more practical side. They appreciate the perspective and really get each other thinking.

Mannerisms and Expressions:

• Charlie tends to adjust their jewelry when contemplating or nervous.

• Expresses themselves through music and occasional introspective silences. (They go nonverbal (Me Fr))

• Values quality time and often initiates activities with friends.

• They have a hard time managing volume and speed of speech. When they have something to say they often talk to fast for anyone to understand.

• Although they love talking and would never mean any harm, they have a hard time judging when someone is done speaking, and sometimes accidentally cut them off.

Love Languages:

• Primary: Quality Time

• Secondary: Words of Affirmation

• Giving: Acts of Service

Looks:

- Depending on their preference, Charlie may have various hairstyles, both long and short funky cuts.

- A few tattoos and piercings.

- They are often dressed in earthy tones, such as green and brown, but they also love blue amd turquoise tones.

Fashion:

Charlie's fashion is one of their favorite means of self expression, and they see it as a reflection of their character. After all, if they shopfast fashion can they really claim to believe the things they do? They prefer secondhand and DIY clothing, often modifying and creating their own pieces. Their wardrobe includes band t-shirts, ripped jeans, cargos, maxi skirts, and jorts. Charlie loves to accessorize with unique jewelry and accessories like beaded necklaces and bracelets.

Brief Backstory:

Charlie's backstory includes their childhood experiences in their dad's band and their close relationship with him. They met Jonah as a young child in school, and their friendship with Jonah grew over time. Jonah eventually joined their family, becoming like a son to Charlie's dad. Jonah and Charlie started their own band after their dad's band broke up, inspired by the idea of creating music together. Their story takes a poignant turn when Charlie's dad is diagnosed with cancer, testing their resilience and love for each other. Later in the story, Jonah's avoidant attachment style leads to a rift in their relationship, which Charlie desperately wants to mend. To show their support and love, they write a song with the help of their bandmates.

Hi, this isn't really a Kaylor ask but as someone who has been following your blog for a long time, I was wondering if you could give me any advice about work-life balance?

Not just work and life, but also a wide variety of things — health, fitness, hobbies, social life, personality improvement, etc.

It feels like whenever I try to focus on one aspect of my life, I end up neglecting the others and so I'm always returning to square and moving very slowly ahead. But I'm also not good at multitasking or routines. Am I the only adult who's not able to get their life together even though it shouldn't be that hard? :(

hey! oh wow last night i was having dinner with a preschool mom friend of mine and we were talking about how hard this is!

i definitely don’t have a complete answer for you because i’m an entire work in progress 😭 and also everyone is gonna be a little different based on personality and life situation, but, here are some things that have worked for me. maybe something resonates for you!

i think one reason why i adopted the tea habit for me—aside from wanting to clean out my cabinets— was because i wanted to have a small victory for myself each morning. with habit building, some people will drink a glass of water first thing in the morning, or do a quick breathing exercise while still in bed… sometimes people do mantras or self affirmations. in essence, it’s something that you can set yourself up to complete with very minimal effort, and that will help you start off your day with a small sense of accomplishment. i’m a simple person… when i feel productive at the start of my day, im more likely to have a productive rest of the day 😆 and i can trick myself to feel productive simply by pressing a button on a tea kettle first thing every morning!!

alright, so, as for balance.. i think it’s important to recognize that work-life balance is less about achieving a perfect balance but more about getting better at knowing when you should prioritize something and then tipping the balance board in that direction with intention, maybe loosening your grip on other things that command your attention, or even streamlining them temporarily to make leaning into the one thing easier.

i’ll give an example i read about somewhere. i think for a lot of people, the holidays can be a stressful time. especially if you’re running a household or doing some amount of activities for other people, prepping and shopping and planning and getting ready for events or parties or gift giving can put a huge weight on resources and you might find yourself neglecting daily household tasks like dishwashing or laundry or self care. even if you arent the head of a home, it’s a stressful time of year and the stress can put a damper on your mood! one strategy i read about that i partially tried this holiday season was to temporarily change parts of your house and life into holiday mode: pack away all but one set of dishes and silverware, pack away or push aside your wardrobe and pick out five outfits that you’ll wear for the next few months, and streamline your daily beauty process (some examples are, cutting your hair short or getting a perm or treatment, putting all your skincare and makeup away and just using an all-in-one cleanser/moisturizer and like, one palette of makeup etc etc). basically the person was saying, it’s good to be mindful of the season that you are in and transform your space into battle mode when you need to. by taking away many of the options and streamlining the decision making process, it helps you focus more on getting through whatever it is you need to get through with. what i did was the dishes thing. i packed away everything but a single set of dishes for the family and went through december and january like that. the benefit is that it lowers the hurdle of dishwashing giving it a cap of about 15 minutes, whereas the stresses of the holidays often lead to reaching for another dish and another and another, just because you have them, in lieu of tending to the sink, and before you know it you have an hours long task. i’ve actually kept a lot of dishes stored away still because of how much easier this is 😆

in terms of work, i’m not sure your age or occupation but in case you’re in a 9-to-5 type situation i think it’s important to remember that most people are simply not paying attention to you. everyone is first and foremost focused on themselves. it’s a simple thing but i think it’s hard to remember. especially if you are a hard worker that naturally wants to do the best job that you can. it’s okay not to get it perfect. in fact, the most successful people, i think, are great at giving 80 or 70% consistently and quickly, in contrast to someone who gives 110% but sometimes burns out or often takes forever to make a decision.

there’s a japanese phrase called “saba yomi” which literally means “read the mackerel” and nowadays it is used to describe the act of estimating numbers in one’s favor (for example saying you are 25 when you’re actually 28). but it originally comes from the work of commercial fishers that pull in huge nets of mackerel, and how they report their numbers. in the olden days, refrigeration technology was not where it is today, and when there are hundreds or thousand of fish in a haul, you simply couldn’t take the time to count every fish in the net, take out the similar looking fish, etc, to get an accurate count, because the longer you take, the worse the taste of the fish would get. in other words, oftentimes, accuracy sacrifices quality.

when you can put down the armor and realize that not many people are paying attention to you granularly, i think it’s easier to let go of a need to get every detail of work perfect. and ironically in some ways, this can make you better at your job.

i think a common thread to everything i wrote is the idea of checking in with yourself and talking with yourself about what situation you’re in and how you’re going to approach it. this week work is gonna be busy so i’m just gonna wear these clothes and just do this hairstyle and power through, and this way i won’t have to have a huge pile of laundry and a messy bathroom to get through at the end of it. or, today im feeling like i’ve got a cold coming on so im just going to give 80% effort today and give myself a quiet moment later on in the day to relax. or, im not going to get everything right for awhile but ill do something simple each morning that i know i can do, and congratulate myself for it right away.

i hope there was something in here that helps… at any rate, be kind to yourself!! every day is a miracle in its own way.

#   𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶   . . .   𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀   𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑

    *     full     name     ,     nerissa     rose     sommer     .     nickname(s)     ,     nisa     .     age     ,     twenty     -     three     .     occupation     ,     musician     .      birthday     ,     september     thirteenth     .     zodiac     ,     virgo     .     gender     ,     cis     woman     .     pronouns     ,     she     and     her     .     sexual     +     romantic     orientation     ,     heterosexual     and    heteroromantic      .     faceclaim     ,     jasmin_hoppe     .

𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂    :  

   *     current     residence     ,     los     angeles     ,     california     (     for    house    tour    click    here    )     .     career     insight     ,    click     here     .     archetype     ,    blank     ,     blank     .     temperament     ,     tbd     .     element     ,     musician     .     virtues     ,    tbd     .     vices     ,     tbd     .     tropes     ,    tbd     .     character     inspiration     ,     daisy     jones     .     career     claim     ,     pending     (    non    existing    for    now    )     .     hobbies     ,     tbd     .     quirks     ,     tbd     .     tattoos     ,     tbd     .

𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳   :  

disregarded      before     first     breaths     . .      ❛         i’ll      never     accept     her     as     mine      .        ❜       :      in      your      existence      there     is     regret      . . . .     a      miscalculation      in      the      earned      title      ,        ❛         the      greatest     soccer     player     of     all     time     .        ❜      bo      mora     did     not     want     children       —      his      entanglement      with     his    too    young    of    an    assistant      gisele     sommer     was    a      way     to    pass    time     (     mumbled     reminders    that    sung    “    im    not    looking    for    anything    serious     “    )     .     he     was     an     legend     ,    he    swore    he    was    ‘    just    getting    started     ‘     . . .     two     lines     appearing     on    a     pregnancy    test     was     a    misstep     ,     one     he     tried     to     correct     .      ❛         abortion     ,     adoption     ,     i     don’t     care    as    long    as    you     get     rid     of     it      .        ❜      when     protests     came��    ,    he    did    not    admit    defeat    and     give     in    :       $$$$$     cash     arrangements     in     exchange     for    a    promise     ,       ❛         i’ll      never     have     to     see     either     of    you    ever    again      .        ❜

you      are      not     a     daughter     . .      you      are     dollar     signs     . .      a     never     ending     spoonful     to    a     hungry     mouth     :     while     bo     mora     miscalculated     ,     gisele     sommer     calculated     perfectly     . .     in      you     she     found    a    mean    to      her      end     (     to     live     lavishly      )     :     you    are    a    genie    in    a    bottle    . .    granting    her    wishes    (    giving    and    giving    )    while    being    caged    to    a    life    that    would    leave    you    empty    .      in     short    terms     :     you     never    had     a    chance    . .    in    the    choice    of    mothering    you    and    leaving    you    to    rot    in    the    care    of    others    ,    gisele    choose    the    latter    .    you    were    six    months    old     when    you    were    handed    to    a    hired    nanny   .     there    was    no    kiss    goodbye     ,    the    words    ❛         i     love     you      .        ❜      never    came     . . .     six    months    old    but    you    already    felt    it    :    the    dis   -    want    ,    the    neglect    ,    the    loneliness    that    would    follow    you    for    the    rest    of    your    life    .     

gisele’s     absence     would     be    a    constant     . . .     a     phone    call    once    a    month    the    only    reassurance    she    was    still    there    /    you    would    learn    early    not    to    ask    when    she’d     be    home    or    if    you    could    go     with    her    ,    her    lack    of    interest    was    entangled    in     her    tone    and    her    neglect    was    a    nightmare    you    never    grew    out    of     :     it    made    your    million    dollar    estate    a    cell    . .    loneliness    a    friend     . . .    abandonment    a    wound    . .    it    made    you    hungry    for    anyone    to    love    you    . . . .     and     in    your    longing    came    willow    :    no    longer    a    nanny    by    the    time    you    hit   4    ,    she    was    your    family    —     your    only    family    .     scrapped      knees     ,     sleepy     mornings      ,     aced     (    and    failed    )    tests    ,    chorus     recitals    ,    singing    lessons    ,    first    crush    and    first    heartbreak    ,    breakouts    ,    accidental    hair    clipping    to    copy    bangs    the    latest    it   girl    was   rocking    ,    willow     held    your    hand    through    it    all    . . .    ❛         my     love    for    you    is    endless      .        ❜     

#       (      age      )       sixteen       sinks      its      teeth      into      you      :     scribbled       letters       in      a      raggedy      notebook     (     identical     to     the     ones    you’ve     carried     around     like      a      little     kid     carries    a     stuffed     bear     )      asks       . . .          ❛         do      you      want      to     become     someone        ?        ❜         yes       .       yes      .      yes      !!!!!!      you       wanted      it      bad      . . .      enough      that      a      lack     of     confidence     bared     it’s     teeth      as     you     sat     in     front     of     a     camera     in     a     dimmed     bathroom     (     it’s     acoustics     the     best     )     and      sang     a     song     you     wrote     two     years     ago      :      one      year     later     you’d     have     4.2      million     subscribers      —      two      years     later     you’d      be     signing     to     a      record     label      . . .      three     years     later     you'd     become     one      with     a      band      ,     you’re      band      .

the       devil      comes      knocking     . .     three     times     . . .     thumb      .     thumb     .    thumb    . .     when     the    door    swings    open    :    gisele    sommer    gazes    back     .     you     cannot     remember     a     time    one    of    her    smiles    belonged    to    you    ,    and      yet     it     hung     on     red     lips     like     a     prize     . .     a     heart    will     whisper     ,     “     finally     “     ,     but     your     brain    knows    better      —     where    $$     dollar     signs    are    ,    is    where    gisele    is    . . .    and    like    always    ,     you     are     her     ticket     :     ❛         i’m     back     to     stay        .      ❜       . . . .     translation     :     i     want     in      on     your     blossoming     career    .     you     wanted    it     to     be    different    ,    wanted    her    to    be    different     . .     but    you    are    no    fool     .     resentment     is     greeted     with     charm      :    give    in    ,    give    in    .     unluckily    for    you    ,    resistance    is    greeted    with      punishment     .   willow    is    let    go    /       ❛         as    much    as    we    love    having    you    around   ,    she    has    outgrown    a    nanny        .      ❜      —     in    rage    ,    you    fight    back    and    gisele    grows    more    determined    . . .     gisele    wins    the    battles    but    you    ,    you’d    win    the    war    .   

❛         i       am      nerissa’s      manager        . .        ❜       an      attempt      to      carve      permanent      on      you      . . .       los       angeles        is       full       of       shining      stars     :       your      mother      dims      your      light     .       her       behavior       ,      greed      ,     a     turn     off     for     most     labels    .     no    amounts     of     ❛         you’re      ruining      this     for     me        !        ❜     couldn’t      shake     her     . . . .       not      until      them      . 

the       first       time      andrew       faiser        heard      you      sing      :       he      did     not      see     dollar     signs      . . .       he      saw     unimaginable     passion       —       felt       aching      loneliness      .         your        third      meeting      with      him      he     asked    ��you      two     things     :        ❛         do       you      want     her     (      your     mother     )    involved        ?        ❜       and       ❛         do      you      want     to      do     this      alone        ?        ❜       hesitation      did     not     come    for    the    first     question      :     you     did     not     want    your     mother     involved     . . .      the     second     question     however     ?      a     small     beat     of      silence      (     perhaps     confusion     )      and     he     smiled      sweetly     and     told      you     that     before     you     answered     :     he     had     some     people     he     wanted     you    to    meet     . 

when      browns      first      landed     on     five     strangers     —     you     had     no     idea     that     they’d     become     your     future     (     your     family     )      :      had      no     idea     one     day     you’d     be     standing     side     by     side     as     the     media     labeled     you       . . . .     ❛         the      biggest     band     since     the     beatles        . .        ❜ 

in       the      contract      that      would      be     the     start     of     your     career      . .      a      promise     from      andrew     would     be     kept     :      gisele      sommer      was     iced     out     . . .     in     your     success      ,      she     would     not     make     a    single     dime     .      the     war     :     you     won     it     .      but     the     little     girl     who     opened     your     mouth     and     stated     ,        ❛         you       can      still      try      to      have     a     relationship     with     me     without     money     being     involved       . .        ❜       was       left      to      bleed     out     when     her     answer      was     disgust     and     that      familiar     dis     -     want     . . . .      you     are     a    daughter     to    no     one     . 

#      (     age     )     twenty     -       three     :      you     dance     with      the     stars      . . .      titled      one      of     the     biggest     (     most    successful     )     voices     to     come     out       of     this     generation      .      and      you      deserved     it      ,     earned     it     . . .      but     sometimes     you      can     still     feel     it     —     the    weight     on     your     chest     .     the     wound    that     never    stops    bleeding   .     the    abandonment    in    your     lungs    . .      ❛        i     don’t     want    her    . .        ❜    carved     across     your    heart    . .     you     still     have      the     nightmares     . . .        you     think     :     how     could    it     be     ?      how     could     it     be     that    millions     of     people     love     and     adore     me     ,     and     yet     i      still      don’t     feel     enough     ?

𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈   :

pending      .  . .

𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂   :

coming     soon     . . .

𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳   𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂   :

*    please   note   :   i   love   plotting   and   while   these   are   super   basic   and  vague   would   love   to   go   into   full   details   and   really   plot   some   fun   fun   fun   (   and   messy   ,   chaotic   ,   toxic   ,   silly   plots   )    things   <333

001.       producers    and    music    people    she    works   with    a   lot    !!

002.     another    artist    she    has    a    work    boner    for    <33    basically   she    just    really    admires    their    talent    and    work    !

003.    will    submit    this    officially    too    but     bandmates   !!    just    four    -    six    muses    with    complex    dynamics    but    also    that    found    family    trope    (   and    please    give    me    something    based    off   of    daisy    and    billy    !!!    

004.     besties    !!    ride    or    dies   !    partner    in    crimes   !    unlikely    friendships   !!   bad    and    good    influences    !!    give    me    all    cute    platonic    things    <33

005.     ex’s/first     heartbreak/the    one    that    got    away    !!    give    me   it   all    <33

006.    hookups/flings/friends     (     or    enemies    )    with    benefits    and    other   stuff    of    that    nature    .

hey guys do you remember when i first got into milgram and made a crazy post about haruka? im about to ramble a bit because i dont feel like making something more in depth but remember when in that post i talked about how my first impression of the girl hes with as a child was not his sister 9or friend???) but his idealized self? well i decided afterwards that both of those things can be true and the release of “all knowing all-agony” solidified that for me hey. dont walk away. let me explain. (deckard cain voice) stay a while and listen... its obvious that harukas relationship with his parents (particularly his mother) is very fraught. they clearly dont care for him. when they have a daughter who is “normal” (not an effeminate ‘son’ who is developing differently than other children) (because haruka is autistic) (if you get it you get it) they stop pretending to care about haruka and focus on the daughter instead and haruka is like what the fuck 😐... haruka killed her for 2 reasons: 1. because he was sick of being neglected by their parents who favored her, particularly their mother because idk the dad has to be absent or a serial killer considering haruka didnt even attempt to latch onto him for approval in the absence of his mothers love (dad does not want a girly “son” even if said son will join the serial killer business) (i cannot explain this further at the moment but it makes sense if youre me or tshirt) (to be brief the fact haruka had been previous validated for killing someone/something and thinks killing Again will totally earn more love and validation is so strange and makes no sense even in the context of if the death was because of his parents taxidermy hobby because theres a stark difference in killing an animal and killing a person and most taxidermied animals are already dead not killed For The Sake Of Taxidermy in this the year of 2022 so someone is a serial killer) and 2. because he was like well there can only be one girl here and youre a REAL girl which is not fair . But if youre gone i will be the girl again. #win the fact all knowing all agony starts with lines like “why was i born like this / why does it hurt so much?” and “you kept calling me ‘hopeless’, you never called me by my name / you were always comparing me to someone else / you were always generous, except towards me / i will definitely make you love me again” and him going into his mothers(?) jewelry drawer and taking a necklace (that might have been his sisters 🤨✍????) is like. there is something happening here. the insistence that “i wasnt wrong, i wasnt wrong” (which was also present weakness) during the chorus, along with pleas for someone to “hug me again as you once did” and “dont leave me alone, dont leave me” and, like the beginning of the song, “why was i born like this? why does it hurt so much?” just makes the soup in my brain start bubbling the real meat of what im trying to talk about comes from lines like “i just wanted to be your good boy. why am i crying again?” and “i will keep on killing to be a good boy”. near the end we also get “why was i born to be me? why does it hurt so much?” like, his mother only validated him when he was a “boy”, and he was killing. apparently. but doing this is painful for him. existing as a boy and also killing people(?) (things?) for attention isnt something haruka particularly wants to do but its what gets the attention he needs. i havent forgotten that in weakness he asked “how many more times do i have to do this so i can be human?” implying if he does not kill he is not human enough. but also his mother was clearly distraught at the end of the video when haruka was on a pile of animal corpses (which was an awesome visual just btw) theres something going on anyway the point im winding to is haruka is a girl actually and maybe her dad is a serial killer (who knows) her mom sucked and maybe she killed her sister out of frustration and neglect and also because she wanted to steal her gender (but haruka was a girl before her sister came into the picture make no mistake she did not decide to become a girl because her sister got more attention and love than she did. but it did prove to her in her mind that oh well if im a girl then 🤨... like do you get it?)

tshirt put it thusly after we watched all knowing all agony: “i'm just like. narrativizing this in my head like "oh and haruka self consciously models himself after specific women in order to gain their approval and also disavow the femininity as emerging intrinsically from him-- btw also his dad is killing people" which i think sums up what im trying to say because ive just kind of been on a stream of consciousness ramble because i fell asleep thinking about harukaisms last night truly i cant get over the repetition of lines like “why was i born like this why does it hurt so much” “i wanted to be your good boy / why am i crying again” like im sorry but there is something so gender about taking on the habits of the women around you and being agonized by the fact you are not physically like them and crying over being a boy but wanting to be a boy because its what you “are” and the only thing your parents will see you as and they are the only source of love and validation you have in your life even though they are not validating or loving you and resent you the more you try to gain their affections. LIKE MAKE IT MAKE SENSE ? also i think its really funny if harukas dad IS a serial killer because we have someone like kotoko who is gungho for vigilante justice so much so she beat the shit out of an 11 year old cult survivor (i wont forgive milgram fandom for voting amane guilty btw) and mikoto who is so stressed by familial responsibility and work that he started disassociating and beat a guy to death with a baseball bat and also shidou botched surgeries for reasons currently unclear (finger paresthesia? moving a loved one up on the organ donor list? both?) and its just like. haruka with the actual lucid serial killer dad. who also kills people because she feels like she has to. i dont know its just really funny to think about... (theres also futas whole thing and kazuis and yunos but they arent killers. probably. futa wasnt a willfully malicious murderer he just accidentally doxxed a woman alongside the guy who was sexually harassing her and social pressure drove her to suicide. kazui is a closeted gay man with a wife who may or may not have killed herself. i wrote a whole thing about it remember? and yuno had an abortion. which like, is against the law, especially if she didnt have the ‘fathers’ consent to do it, and depending on the method of abortion. mahiru has something going on idfk if shes a stalker or what. and then theres haruka and muu. muu is so funny spoiled rich lesbian schoolgirl who is feeling super validated that her murder was justified because she was being bullied and now she has haruka to yank around. falling back on her old ojou-sama hobbies. good for her) milgram is so funny.... anyway tl;dr i do think haruka displayed girl power when she murdered her sister(?) and whoever or whatever else she might have killed for attention and voting her innocent/forgiven is the best option (because its the funniest option for her future development)

ty for the tag @januariat <3!!

1. are you named after anyone? nope! sometimes my mom says she wishes they'd named me for my grandmother bc i have a lot of similarities to her, though.

2. when was the last time you cried? coincidentally i ALSO recently came very close to tears while watching nimona. other than that... idk a few weeks ago??

3. do you have kids? no way

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? yeah plus a lot of Being Silly in general. i have to make jokes about everything constantly or i'll die (sarcasm included, but also just bad puns, witticisms, etc.)

5. what sports do you play/have you played? oh god im not a sportsy guy. i did a couple years of dancesport but other than that not much sdjkhfk

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? face i guess? i have no idea

7. what’s your eye color? brown!!

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings for sure!! im a weenie i can't do scary movies. i can barely do scary games and that's only bc i can control and BEAT them. scary movies? oh i can't do anything about it they will go in the basement no matter how much i beg them not to!!!

9. any special talents? im forgetting any real ones though im sure i have them so instead i will clown on myself: incredibly talented at forgetting things. tonight i was playing totk on my friend's switch to beat the 5 lynels in a row at the floating coliseum for them, finished it, and then left the area without getting the chest you get for surviving that, because i was like omg look at all these rare lynel drops! wahoo good loot! so in that way. im very talented at making my friends laugh

10. where were you born? in the usa... somewhere...

11. what are your hobbies? writing, video games, music, dance (ive been neglecting these latter two lately though). comics ofc too. and reading in general!

12. do you have any pets? YES i have one dog he is very large and so stupid and i love him so so so much

13. how tall are you? 5'2 gang rise up

14. favorite subject? math, biology, biochemistry...

15. dream job? man ive been questioning that a lot lately. i've thought research physician for a long time, or something research focused, but i'm not too sure i can actually do that, so... considering. idk. can i get paid to just hang out with my friends :/

tagging... oh god i am so eepy rn i KNOW im gonna forget everyone i know. um. @crimzoncrow @lemontongues @milfkon @misspickman @aigenderated @necer0s aaaand if anyone sees and wants to say i tagged you go for it :>

howwww do you find time to write as much as you do, i find it so hard to balance between life and fairy tail

i only work 14 hours a week and i neglect all of my other responsibilities and that's only half a joke.

i'm in my final year of uni and i've gotten really good at being able to do assignments quickly at a generally a or b standard without having to watch all of my lectures but don't take that as advice because it's really bad advice, don't do it

aside from that? i also don't really have much of a social life. my two irl friends are both also introverts who are fine hanging out like once every few months and i may have perhaps dropped my one other hobby in favour of writing over the past few months

even when i don't have a lot of time, i've just gotten really fast at writing in the past couple months. my record is 575 words in 20 minutes but generally i average anywhere between 200-300 in that time, so even if im running short on time i can still get a good chunk in

tldr im a loser and i don't have a life

ehehe i wanna send in a silly matchup req for your valentines event!!! could you give me a genshin impact boy pleeeaaase? :)

my pronouns are she/her and im a silly little enfp.

personality wise im a huge extrovert who loves making friends everywhere I go.. lol people tell me that I could befriend a tree if i wanted. im always drawn to introverted people because i hate seeing someone quiet and lonely lol. i also tend to be a bit of a goof. i like making people laugh. i get really invested and interested in other people's interests and i pick up a bunch of different things to be able to bond with people i meet.

im very much a talker, i can talk people's heads off if it's about something im interested in. I'm basically very energetic at all times. I can never take things seriously and most of the time i really need someone to reel me back in and tell me if i need to be serious or not.

despite all thattt, under certain extreme conditions, my social battery can run dangerously low, and sometimes i need to sit in silence to chill out for a bit. im also the type of person to speak up for others but never myself lol. im a little bit of a pushover in that regard.

my hobbies, i love singing and music and dance with my entire soul. poetry is also something that i love reading, as well as photography. i do a little doodling on the side too!!!! i love writing and history and sometimes i even enjoy a little math.

but..thats all I can think offfff! have funnnn with this oneeee hehehe >:)

HIII omg I'm so excited to see another fellow ENFP! It's like looking myself in the mirror while reading your description ( nah cuz fr)

Thank you for participating in my Valentines Day event and taking your time to write this! Let's see what we can deal with here <33

#GENSHIN IMPACT MATCHUP

I match you up with......

SHIKANOIN HEIZOU

Credit: Official art

I took a long time thinking about it, and this is the result I had!

Heizou is not an easy person to easily get along with, so I could see that your first encounter with him would be quite awkward at some point. I could see him purposely avoiding you when you're in your extreme extrovert mood as you keep on finding ways to bother him.

But I think after days after days 'trying' to avoid you, instead of completely neglecting you and mind his own business, he starts to find out interesting parts about you and got to know you better.

Like how you suddenly drain out of energy and just sits down below a tree and mind your own business. It's really interesting for Heizou to see you out of your extrovert mood. And we all know Heizou loves random mysteries he discovered.

Having a relationship with Heizou would actually be very entertaining. The two of you would have an absolute fun with each other joking around and pranking people. Probably something like run up to a random person and yell "tag, you're it!" and create confusion.

Something also tells me that Heizou's love language is quality time. He likes to look at you when you're both just doing nothing and stares at your eyes. He also likes to hear your rambles as if it was an opportunity for him to get to know you better, kinda similar like getting clues for a detective case or some sort.

Heizou is a person that is fun, but doesn't lack intelligence. So you don't have to worry if you can't read the room sometimes, cause Heizou would remind you about it respectfully. He is quite reliable on serious times, so it's fine to be yourself around him.

For him, you're his endless mystery and he just loves to spend time with you, no matter if its just a normal night having dinner with you or a grand event. And I think the two of you could actually get along pretty well!

Thank you for reading till this far! I hope you enjoyed it <33 likes and reblogs are appreciated!

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME:  cyan. PRONOUNS:  she / her. PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:  tumblr ims do the job when i don’t know someone well enough, but my discord’s available for people i’ve been interacting with for a while. just ask! NAME OF MUSE(S):  ray. RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  10+ yrs. i’ve been on and off this hellsite since i’ve been fourteen lmao. PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  mostly tumblr. when i was younger i used msn & skype as well, but i’ve found i don’t really like instant messaging platforms for rp. one time i rped through the letter system in a.nimal c.rossing with mika does that count too. BEST EXPERIENCE:  where to start? in general i’ve had such a good time on this blog. from the friends i made, to the muse relationships i’ve established, to dash-wide shenanigans... there are so many threads i hold dear, i could never pinpoint just one. all in all i feel very blessed and grateful to have found so many people who are equally as passionate about this hobby as i am. thanks, guys. ♡ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  i have a lot of both, so i’ll just name one: lack of communication. in my experience you can’t create interesting character dynamics / plots without a modicum of communication. even if it’s just in the tags. there is a big social aspect to rp and neglecting it dulls the experience. a little bit of communication goes a long way to keep enthusiasm about threads alive, too. FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:  angst appeals the most to me out of these three, but i don’t mind either as long as it’s not overdone.  PLOTS OR MEMES:  i highly prefer plotting; i don’t think i’ve ever even reblogged a meme on this blog... honestly, the best way to get a thread going with me is to just ask for one. my drafts and inbox are bursting, so i don’t actively seek out new things. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:  one to two paragraphs comes easiest for me, though i also enjoy “banter” / one-liners. haven’t really felt up for novella threads these days. BEST TIME TO WRITE:  whenever the stars align just right, aka when i have both the time and mental energy to. i don’t like churning out replies for the sake of it tbh. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  i want my peace and quiet, he wants to jump across high-rise rooftops, take a wild guess.

tagged by: @ofgentleresolve ♡♡♡ tagging: @kagoshou, @virtusdemonte, @bloodthirstyflower, @edgelord-dl6, @cuttingcanine, @counselheart, @lykaiia, @legalbrats​, @theothervonkarmagirl​​

fandom: kusuriya no hitorigoto pairing: basen & maomao tags: modern au; neighbors au; other: the vibe is cottagecore but the plot is horror

thinking about a basen-maomao cottagecore-esque neighbors au (they were neighbors! who are also found family! at some point!) because the very possible sibling dynamic of them is just too good to pass up

their first meeting goes like this:

he's just moved, consider it training, of a sorts, while he;s away from jinshi's side

he thinks it's a good idea regardless. he needs to temper his patience, and he needs a holiday. jinshi even told him to, and he insisted, so he really can't object

that said… the ad said that he'd have no neighbors, so why is there a cottage across his?

when he arrives at the property, it's all forest sound and birds, but he can see shadows from his neighbor's house. there's a light from the second floor, and stays as such

"you're the tenant?" rude, but ok. he whips around to see… a tiny girl. "you're a bit bulkier than i expected but new help is new help."

"now hold on," he says, forgetting to be completely nervous. "are you the one who posted the ad? it said no neighbors."

"no neighbors but me," she replied drily. "and my ward, but he's quiet, and does the chores."

he groaned. but jinshi already paid for this, and expects him to be at least more tempered when he comes back, so fine. "wait, what did you mean by 'help'?"

"everyone who stays here helps out part time with my research or with the chores. obviously, you do your own thing, but i need help gathering things from the forest every now and then, or i'd need you to help out with something physically demanding."

"…is this what the ad meant by reformed after a month?"

"i have no idea what's on the ad. my friend posted it for me, but it seems accurate enough." he sighs. "seems like you need to unpack though. call me maomao."

"basen." but wait… "you wouldn't happen to know a man of about forty with really thick eyebrows and sighs like the world is against him would you?"

"i know plenty of men like that."

"…the one im referring to. does he call you xiao mao?"

her eyebrows lift. it seems both incredibly intimidating and incredibly baffling. "sir gaoshun's son. a pleasure. last i heard, you fainted dead away when a woman touched your hand. will you be alright here?"

"just call me basen, please. and i have no idea what youre talking about."

"hoh. anyway, when do you want your tour? i'll head it, but i'd need to bring chou'u."

"perhaps later, after lunch…"

she nods, and then faces the road. she points out the directions for the market and the grocery, and other things he might need before she finishes with "i'd invite you over, but it looks like you're not particularly interested. have fun unpacking." and then walking away

other details i thought of but doesnt seem to fit anywhere yet:

jinshi and basen are childhood friends and work in the same company

maomao's a pharmacist, though she's kept up a hobby for researching traditional medicinal practices

the property is the ra family's that has been neglected over the years, that ruomen foisted off rakan. sits a little ways off a forest

maomao has a proper garden this time but forages every saturday

chuo'u became her ward after a minor accident a few years back

maomao and jinshi are distantly acquainted, having been classmates at university, but havent really interacted much since. she's had more contact with gaoshun, an acquaintance of her father's. he buys the tea blends she makes

xiao ran and shi sui posted the ad. they thought itd be funny.

Mental Health, Guilt And The Art "Community" TW: Unaliving Thoughts

Maybe people understand that feeling: Your mental health is at a steady decline and you´re unable to seek professional help so you need to cope with it yourself. But there is always that sneaking feeling that you dont deserve to feel suicidal or depressed. You have a home and your family isnt always bad to you. So how dare you feel bad if people have it worse than you? I feel like that a lot actually. But sometimes it helps to vent out what all happened to you and you realize that maybe your life was messed up after all. But under the surface. Still that guilt remains, maybe Im blowing it out proportion. Maybe Im faking it.

But I never before felt guilty for not harming myself.

But that changed recently. I was part of the LazyEule fandom and a member of her server. Her server is a poorly moderated mess she doesnt interact with. There is one kid mod who is abusing their powers, banning people who disagree with them and letting their friends do whatever they want. And thats where my mess comes in. That server is the perfect MicroCosm of the art community in general. You have lying, backstabbing and in-groups. Favortism and feuds. And naturally it got worse when the 12 year olds happened. (Okay that is just a joke but we all know that one fandom ruined by children.) Now I wont give much context. Its private and a lot to handle but I will summarize things a little: Alcoholic Father, aggressive brother, misfortunes and emotional neglect and abuse. I suffer from an eating disorder and fondness for painkillers. I also lost my last job thanks to our family name being so tainted they harrassed me out of the office, sending me into an inescapable limbo. With other adding to it, but this is the constant pressure I deal with. So sometimes when it gets too much I spiral into selfdestructive behaviour. Like picking fights to give me a reason to hate myself. That day I noticed that behaviour and left the main chat to enter the vent chat. Picking a harmless topic to vent out some steam without being too much. Some random child came in and just bragged to me how great their life was so I told them "Leave me alone then" and it appears that girl was massibly popular or friends with the mod because the dead as hell vent channel was suddenly swarmed by 3 other people. With two of them heavily dogpiling me and the third trying but failing to mediate. And so what I planned to be a harmless rant about my art became me fishing for reasons to hurt myself. I wasnt a saint, but I also was spiraling into an episode. I was vulgar, hostile and bitterly awful. So Im not even complaining I was banned. But I cant get over what lead up to me leaving. (Yes I left willingly) A friend suddenly became obsessed with me "being the adult" as if that means I cant go into a mental breakdown. She could tell I was distressed and when it all got to much I openly stated that I wanted to die. And expressed suicidal intentions. And for some reason my "friend" leaked a private story I shared in DMs with her to the whole server. Because I encountered a prankster once who openly admitted to faking suicidal messages. So not only did she share this story without my concent but she called me an attention seeker and suicide baiter. To win an argument with me. In a panic I left the server. Went to cry ugly adult tears in the bathtub and planned to harm myself, but my family came home and they needed me to do something so that intense mindset passed and it´s like you come to your senses. I talked to my friends and got myself together. Learning the same people who did this to me now banned someone over a naughty meme. The art community and its "quirky" children love to boast about mental health and awareness and taking things serious. But in reality they will simply weaponize it against you. The art community is a joke. Being an artist was a mistake and I will always regret wasting so much time on such a vile toxic hobby. I wish I had harmed myself, just so I wouldnt feel like a faker and suicide baiter.