Sunday scaries AND I'm too sad to sleep???

dear internet stop throwing pictures of beautifully toasted bagels slathered in cream cheese at me i don't have a toaster i don't have room in my teeny kitchenette for a toaster a toaster is a luxury here in japan as are bagels as is cream cheese

bagel places here that ask me "do you want that heated up" make me want to cry tears of joy even though all they mean is they're gonna stick the bagel in the microwave for ten seconds so it's slightly warm-ish but not enough to crisp up or melt the cream cheese a little

I’m sorry but some fics leave Steve on such a bleak note. Like the whole fic is about Steve trying to find meaning in his life and escape from the past and then the fic ends with lots of mention of what Eddie’s planning for the future and no proper mention of Steve’s plans or hopes or wants.

if the whole fic is Steve learning that he *can* have hopes and dreams, that he doesn’t have to wait till the world ends again to be worth something, I actually don’t think just saying “well Eddie thinks he’s worth something” is a proper resolution. Even just a few lines discussing that Steve wants to find something more or is starting some hobby! Let Steve have hobbies 😭.

“Steve is spiralling, he can’t leave hawkins, what if something happens and no one is there to stop”

And then it ends with

“Steve AND Eddie live in Hawkins because what if something happens”

This doesn’t feel like progress for Steve.

All I’m trying to say is I’m a little sick of “love conquers all” when a character is set up as having obvious mental health issues and then the love interests comes and we’re meant to believe that fixed it.

it's sort of amazing what you can do if you throw your whole heart at it. i have been wanting to go back to learning the piano lately, and in the last months i've also felt like maybe i should actually learn how to sing. i've always been extremely self conscious about my voice because i know i sound pretty bad, but i've encountered a general insistence in learning spaces that anyone can train themselves to sing, that it's all about controlling pitch and understanding your own vocal range. it makes me want to learn, for no other reason than the overwhelming feeling that music is a fundamental expression of spirit and freedom, and being able to do it well would bring me joy.

i am also driven suddenly and inexorably to start reading again, and writing as well. i'm sort of tired of being in this headspace of "i really want to be able to do this, but clearly i don't want it badly enough or i'd already be working on it." i've gotten so much of the rest of my life in order that i am itching to see through the creativity that has always poked and prodded at me. it feels almost like a tow rope around my wrists.

hmmmm the job interview panic is settling in nicely

Me, after quitting my job: what if I got a summer job as a camp counsellor in America?

I’m making this very clear right now:

If you think AI stealing real artists artwork is excusable, unfollow me this instant. AI Generated Images is theft.

I don't think those newer to Tumblr understand it used to be that about a third of a post's notes were reblogs, if not half.

Folks from twitter don't realize they're not really feeding the tumblr ecosystem when they only hit 'like' and they rarely if ever reblog stuff. (And also folks with empty blogs are gonna get blocked for looking like bots!)

So please, if you see something that you think deserves to be seen by more people, reblog it! The appeal of tumblr is that content is spread through people, rather than through an algorithm!!

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and the 'Like' button is still a nice little compliment for the maker of the post. Liking things is good! It is normal to 'Like' more things than you reblog.

But as an artist who has seen his art get circulated less and less as the like-to-reblog ratio has become increasingly imbalanced in the past couple of years, please understand that reblogs are the primary way tumblr continues to function as a content-sharing platform.

You are not expected to add commentary on a reblog if you don't feel like it, and again, your blog is a space where YOU get to decide what makes you happy and comfortable. So do what you want.

But the fact that I get to work to appeal to PEOPLE rather than to a vague and biased algorithm is Actually A Really Good Thing, and reblogs are what make algorithms unnecessary for the smooth running of this site!!!

There's no need to feel guilty or ashamed about this if my words apply to you - that's not my goal - instead, please just consider this info if you can, and consider how happy you might make an artist by showing their art to more people!

Sometimes, living under late-stage capitalism is just like. I'm tired of being asked to spin straw into gold in exchange for a plate of stale, soggy bread crust.

i feel down and idek why 😔

Whenever I get around to actually writing something, It’s almost inevitably going to be completely unpalatable to the transhumanists in my circle because I am, aesthetically, almost exclusively interested in transhumanism as a spiced-up allegory for real-life bad things that people do to themselves or have done to them. Or as a means of having protagonists who can endure an absolute metric truckload of slapstick ultraviolence without dying. One of those two things and nothing else. Which I imagine is gonna paint a fairly ugly picture of transhumanism. So in advance- you do you!

Send a few good vibes my way if you can spare any. I've put out two applications -- one for a week and a half summer workshop about a new astronomy research method and another for a post baccalaureate research position with NASA. Being accepted into either would be a huge boost on any grad school application and to my CV. But the second would be a full time job out of state. Which means I'd be out of this house.

I need something to change. And soon. Whether it be a full time research position or the CV boost I need to get into grad school next year. Just. Something.

I got a job offer today guys. Nothing fancy, nothing high paying, but still a job offer, and I have three more interviews next week. So, looks like I will be back amongst the working world soon whichever way it goes. Here's to getting back on track.

Happy one month until tears of the kingdom 🎉

WAUGH YOU’RE RIGHT

i’ve submitted well over 50 job applications this summer. tell me why the one (1) position i’ve made the most progress toward is one i didn’t even apply for???* and THEN. yesterday. one of my preceptors from the internship i just finished emailed me out of the blue like Hey i'm gonna have an open position at my private practice soon, are you interested?** girl what the fuck is going on here***

Reminding all 5 people who follow me I have an artfight

https://artfight.net/~Phonysaxo

You want to help me collect Killjoys so so bad.