#and laughing to hacking in others
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So far 2024 has seen me knocked flat by a cold, but hey, enabled my first book of the year to start and finish!
#another ticky in the new year box#gotten nowhere with the exercise part#but also doing cracker on the watching what I eat#thanks cold!#jet wolf sometimes reads too#in case anyone was wondering:#i enjoyed it#REALLY HIT SOME OF MY PERSONAL HORROR BUTTONS LOOKING AT YOU DOLLS#it felt in parts a little like a one or two step up christopher Pike#which I mean complimentary#in that it was very easy to read and I had a good time doing it#it was a little hand-holdy in places which grated on me a little#(yes I get what this is really all about I get it I promise)#and I think suffered in part from me having just come off of The Witch Elm#but it's absolutely competent and held my interest from start to finish#even legit creeped me out in places#and laughing to hacking in others#a good pulpy horror read#and I'll check out the author's other books when that's exactly what I'm in the mood for
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Hacks | 2x08
#hacksedit#hacks hbo#hacks#jean smart#hannah einbinder#*#i rewatched and i can't stop thinking about this moment#deborah looking visibly nervous + lost until ava walked in + she immediately softens + laughs#they Need each other
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.
#Today I decided to treat myself to some noodles 🍜#So I went to an empty Japanese restaurant and was enjoying my meal in solitude#UNTIL this bloke in his 20s with a bright yellow turban walks in and orders a ramen#and proceeds to sit at the table in front of mine…. directly facing me 👁️👁️🍜#And then he laughs about it and asks if he can sit at my table instead#In that moment one part of me was internally groaning that I’m disturbed by some random guy 😾🗯️#But the other part of me told him ‘comme tu veux’ and so he sat down and GUESS WHAT#It was actually nice 👌#Apparently he is half Angolaese & half Portuguese and is the youngest son with 3 sisters. Enlightened me w/some cooking hacks too#We ate together and had such a lovely chat …. But thinking about it later: how bizarre ? lol
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A drabble for an anon asking about the prisoners watching their music videos! This is focused on specifically Mikoto’s initial shock at seeing MeMe for the first time, but just know that Double comes with a whole new set of shocks as he truly listens to John for the first time ;-;
Mikoto was no criminal.
He didn’t know how to break into locked rooms, or hack into complex prison security systems. He figured there was no way in hell he’d be able to see these so-called incriminating videos that the Warden was recording, and had resolved himself to an eternity of wondering what they could be. He was shocked when he didn’t need to do a single thing to gain access to them – Es simply adjusted the computer monitor and told him he could hit play when (and if) he wished. Then they left the room.
“A-are you sure?” he called, but they were already gone.
Mikoto blinked at the screen. It showed a stretched version of his apartment couch, near his bathroom wall, broken to reveal sky above. He thought he could spot his tarot cards at the bottom of the frame. Had Milgram broken into his home to film this?
He scoffed, and hit play.
Distorted guitar started up. He flinched as his own face appeared for a moment – looking directly into the camera and making a wild expression he would never have made if someone was recording. His body tensed up more as he heard his own voice start to sing lyrics he’d never spoken before in his life. He wasn’t even a good singer, and here he was sounding like a professional.
There were plenty of ways to accomplish all of this, of course. Software could mimic one’s voice, making him say anything these crazy reality hosts wanted. A team could easily add some digital effects to a stunt double and match his appearance perfectly. Knowing that didn’t make the experience any less unsettling.
He watched himself commit a nasty murder. He watched himself return home bloodied. But it was all ridiculous. How could Milgram even claim that this was him? He’d never raised a hand to anyone in his life. Were the other prisoners’ videos as outlandish as this one?
But then, a switch.
The song shifted to a new melody. He appeared to wake up from his couch, and suddenly Mikoto got the sense that this was him.
He was struck with how familiar this new segment sounded. It simultaneously felt like a favorite song he must have played on loop not too long ago, and one that he’d never heard before. As it played, each new note and lyric felt right on the tip of his tongue.
It ended as quickly as it began. The song returned to the heavy-metal-murder aesthetic it had started with, and once again he felt like he was watching a cheap copy of himself onscreen. He watched another murder, a shower scene (had the warden seen all that? How embarrassing…) and then he turned to his bathroom mirror.
At the same time as his musical counterpart, Mikoto leapt backwards in horror.
His eyes remained glued to the screen. His hand flew up to grab the lower half of his face. It was fake, he told himself. AI and CGI and all that. It was fake. It had to be.
Something deep inside of him said “no. That’s real. That’s me.”
Something else deep inside of him echoed the sentiment.
The video was less than four minutes of music, but by the end he was panting and tugging at his hair as if he’d endured hours of prison torture. He burst out of the room. He sucked in breath after breath. The melodies still played in his mind, lines repeating in his memory as he tried to put as much distance between himself and that little television screen.
He found the others in the common room. They gave him a knowing look, but somehow he knew his experience had been very different from their own. Es approached him.
They studied his expression for a moment. Thankfully, they didn’t ask anything stupid, like “how did it go?” or “what did you think?”
Instead, they just told him, “if you ever want to watch it again, just let me know, I can get it set up for you.”
He would want to see it again. Of course, it would be better, then. He would take a moment to calm down. He’d watch it later and everything would be okay. He’d have a clearer mind. He’d pick out all the little camera tricks they used to make it. He’d be sure it was a fake, and laugh about how ridiculous he was being now.
Of course. Of course.
He nodded to Es, unable to produce any words. Es left him.
The rules in this prison never made any sense, but in this case, he was grateful. He wouldn’t need to figure out any snooping or hacking to get access to the video again. After all, he was no criminal.
… he wasn’t, was he?
#milgram#mikoto kayano#thanks again!! this was super fun to do 👀#i was so sad that they cant see their videos in canon so it made me so happy to work out how it may work/feel#you know when theres a song you used to love but its been too long and you sort of forgot the words#but as theyre playing youre like ‘ahhh i knew that’#thats what im picturing#something unnervingly familiar#as mentioned in the hcs i think john would have a very different reaction#hed be happy to see himself but upset to see mikoto so afraid of him#:(#i like to think that john watching meme is what prompts some of his lyrics in double#i think the opening shots of bring it on would convince fuuta that someone had just hacked his cameras#but then there would be shots they shouldnt have any way to get#and the same for mikoto seeing his apartment/the train station and then suddenly himself in the shower…#he probably laughs it off with the others knowing that they came back a bit more calm than hes currently feeling#so he fakes it as long as possible before having another Moment alone in his cell that night#OUGH#drabbles
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tumblr is such a fucking funny place bc right now people are circulating important news/updates about the college gaza solidarity encampments/occupations from me... a saw fanblog...
#to be clear i try my best to fact check and cross reference all my info before i post!! what im telling y'all is real!!!#its just funny that im a saw fanblog doing this#i saw someone tag 'hack-saw2004' the other day in my reblogs and i lost my mind#im glad ive become y'all's information guy but its not lost on me how funny it is#like you click on my blog and my header is adam but babygirl sparkly... im such an unserious person doing serious work#not an update#i needed a breather to laugh at myself for a second
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If my father hadn’t of crushed my dreams of being an author apart like he crushed my laptop full of years of work on my vampires in half over his knee, maybe…..just maybe I would have reached John Greene’s potential.
#…#this is in really bad taste and faith(kind of like his work) I will admit it (unlike him)#I would know I was on tumblr back then. i have been here since we had those mail letters instead of asks/DMs#I know I was under 13 because I felt rebellious about it and haha sneaky >:3c have to figure out my sisters login info because she doesn’t#log out and it’s suspicious if she comes back to the laptop and notices she’s suddenly logged out now when I use it !!!#because she fr did think that way and she was right about it I was a bastard younger kid so ‘sorry I closed it’ wouldn’t work on her lololol#so I serioisly (out of concern that she would change her info and I’d not notice) wrote down her tumblr act info and info we had on shared#accounts and what I knew she often used in video games and hacked some other accounts and wrote it down and her fav numbers and colors…..#then I made my tumblr account and used it and checked the history then logged back into her account and opened a separate google tab#of a website she knew I used and i did all of that I went thru all of that to use tumblr before I was 13 y’all jsyk respect 4 ur elders#yea I mostly wrote about bisexual vampire dramas leave me alone ok I was a child#I literally know my older sisters bank info. I know her card number because I technically came up with it when we were tweens. same for her#phone plan LMAO I know all of it because it’s numbers that we used together as kids which is kind of sweet and heartwarming but heartbreakin#because she has amnesia of most of our childhood and doesn’t show affection ever. she distances and is very very defensive at all times.#plus I’m her fucked up junkie loser younger bro that she knew at least was expected to outperform her so she just doesn’t like me hahah#but she still chooses inside jokes that I do remember sitting in the garage on neopets laughing about for passwords. and I often find myself#doing the same thing about inside jokes and creations we haven’t mentioned in almost 20 years now. it’s wild how siblings are. there’s rlly#idk something special
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I get very tired of dealing with people who are so busy being "practical" that they're just totally prescriptive
I tend to be, I think, a fairly pragmatic person. Like most years I spend about... maybe $50 on myself for the whole year (this year is going to be a bit higher, but there's also specific utility to what I'm spending it on). I tend to not bother buying myself snacks, cause I know I'm mostly hungry, and if I'm hungry real food is a better deal (I sadly tend to fail to get ahold of the real food either)
My point is that I tend to be very goal oriented (not in a ladder climbing way, in a I set goals and then work towards them kinda way), I tend to be very focused on what will push my situations into being sustainable, I tend to look for high efficiency, low cost, long term solutions
I was... I was talking to that friend I'll say is Dr Jekyll and Mr Dumbass (I was more trying to talk to my dad, but they were both there). It was definitely Mr Dumbass today
For one thing, he was already saying a bunch of really fucking dumb shit where... it's so stupid I'm not even going to repeat it, where it's like the answer for why we don't do that is because it's obviously a moronically stupid idea on top of being immoral, and also totally ineffective you dipshit
So I already wasn't in the mood for him
Then, while talking about visiting my grandma, I mention how in order to start cooking I need sharp knives, none of my knives are sharp (cause my mom's a fool and dulls them all), and how it would really help if I could just take a knife from my grandma since she doesn't cook anymore and just... keep it as my personal knife that I keep sharp
(I can't do this, cause my grandma is... bug fuck crazy, and legit believes that if you gift someone a knife they'll kill people with it which like... where do you even get that idea, like she has literally said before that she'd give money to buy a knife but wouldn't give one as a gift... what?)
Anyway, Mr Dumbass starts going on about how I can just buy a new knife, and it's like no... in your quest for objective practicality you've lost all pragmatism
I don't need to buy a new knife, I need to learn to sharpen knives which... which I just have a bit of a block on cause I've had trouble figuring out how to sharpen stuff so far (I've come to suspect that which of the hard and soft stones you use first and second isn't intuitive and I've been trying to hone with the sharpening stone and sharpen with the honing stone)
Like... to get mean for just a slight moment, shut your fool mouth, you've got more money than I've ever even touched, and while you were poor at one point when you were younger you've clearly forgot, and not everyone can just buy stuff
Also you're saying a bunch of dumb shit tonight with such confidence and it's pissed me off
He's capable of being a very very smart and compassionate person, and then other times he's a damn fool, and far too often he... he talks about practicality without actually understanding how to be practical
Being practical requires working in the confines of reality
...I don't know, I don't think I have all the words I need to explain what I'm saying, but the point is he's annoyed me and people who act like him annoy me where it's like... nothing matters in the end other than if you actually solve something
You can talk all day about what someone "should do", but what matters is what they will do
So it gets frustrating talking with my family with him cause he has all this ideas where it's like... that functionally won't work, and like some of his great ideas are how I can just wait for my grandma to die and get the knife then and it's like... yeah... but I need a knife now dummy, and I have knives, and which is more useful?
Dropping a pretty penny on a new knife, or finishing learning a skill I really fucking need badly and that makes it so I can sharpen things for next to free forever?
...I'm just tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help, that's all. How about you shut your fucking mouth, stop trying to offer advice that's worse than my plans I'm already slowly turning the gears on making happen, and just let me bitch about my idiot relatives?
Laughing at this fool antics when he chooses to do that, legitimately is more helpful than any attempts to help
#last two paragraphs are things that sadly a lot of people could learn#sometimes you need to shut your mouth and just listen#and this is why I have my no advice without action policy#if the rolls were reversed; I'm not willing to suggest someone buy a knife unless I'm willing to pay for it#most I'll ever do is something like say 'Just wondering if this is something you've already tried'#like know someone who go hacked here; and I just asked if they're running two factor authentication now cause if not it might help#like that's the outside amount of advice I'm willing to offer without action#because it acknowledges that they may have already thought of it; and it more just tries to float an option than it does suggest shit#honestly... I think I'd be less annoyed if it was like 'what about buying a new knife?; rather than 'you should buy a new knife'#advice in the form of a question makes for a dialogue rather than dictation#lets the other person just explain why something won't work if they've already considered it#like in this case... money; way rather just sharpen shit and get to spend money on food instead of a knife#like... this is the crux of what I complain about with my grandma; that groceries are my number one desire with money#are you my grandma? suggesting that I just flippantly spend money once it becomes something you'd want to spend it on?#...and the answer honestly is that yeah that's usually how people are#they can laugh off wasting money on shitty over priced clothes; but when it's what they like spending on that's what everyone should do#...maybe I fail at it; but I try not to do that#try to just be a back up to people and support them in whatever matters to them#and once again; only offer advice when I'm actually willing to do something like drop the money on getting them the thing I think they need#eh... I don't want to share the other dumb shit he was saying cause... dear god#edgy stoned dipshit talk; you know?#framed as actionable policy#good guy; helped me move shit up (I mostly needed a driver) but... utter fucking ass too much of the time#there's reasons we're not closer
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Tumblr kicked a coal from the embers of TJLC and it rolled to a stop to spark a small flame against a pile of crisp leaves, and the ash is currently rising up and spelling “But what if Byler—” in the sky
#tjlc#do i tag this#mmmm yeah#stranger things#byler#tumblr funny post#you are all reading a cautionary tale and missing the point to ship to the two hot background characters [metaphorically]#if you like byler no hate btw#I just feel like insisting it’ll be canon after everything is a little just#setting you up for disappointment#media speculation/analysis is good!! please don’t let yourself down or act like others are homophobic for saying there’s no way#I’m not here to be some hack who points and laughs at queer teenagers looking for representation#I also literally do not watch st#I just think the way these things mirror each other is like. interesting
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wondering what game to play but hmm maybe! maybe i’ll just first play the dmc5 demo (properly, this time) :O bcs i Lov dmc (mostly characters and music) <3 also in preparation for ffxvi ... ?
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#listening to saudade from re2 while typing this LMFAO re is a series i'm scared to play and i've accepted i likely wont#unless i have friends watching me or there w me. i think theyd laugh at me screaming every second tbh#but YEAH. i have yet to play a dmc game tbh but i know stuff from the games and not just 5 and i lov vergil and dante (TWINS!!!!)#and nero is SO COOL. super in love w the music from 5. and devil trigger just came up on my spotify rn hell YEAH.#not the biggest fan of gameplay of games like dmc5 tbh but idk really. what kind of games i like now#considering i like gbf (gacha and uhh. you click stuff) ffxiv (you click stuff and move your character.... theres rotations and all btu#yeah basically that but it's really FUN) uhm. fe3h strategy octopath rpg ?? turn-based! nier is a mix of diff gameplays which is so cool#dmc is like. hack and slash iirc ??#YO DEVIL TRIGGER IS SO GOOD. sorry i'm a nerd i llike analyzing music as well amongst a lot of other things#HOLY SHIT I COULD PLAY THE WITCHER 3! OKAY THAT WORKS. i lov ciri. and geralt. and yen. nd triss.#i love the show but i knew the game first but i never played it yet!!! rbut i love the witcher series a Lot#i might be cowardly though so... maybe nvm ...... i'll do whatever while waiting for lune to catch up again in automata T____T
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...I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS
#guardian#ava watches guardian#omg this show#i can't#i just... omg#i am laughing so hard i am going to break something internal#i raised an eyebrow at the other random detritus in the long shot but then we got the guitar and i just. nope. done#i mean. the guitar. why.#i was cool with him like... absorbing essences or whatever but. the guitar. why would you even.#how does this work biologically? i really want to know#i mean is it considered roughage? does it pass? does he hack it up like a hairball?#does he often ingest random musical instruments? does that result in embarrasing noises like he's walking too fast and suddenly TWANG#omg i am going to have an asthma attack i am still laughing too hard to breathe properly#screencap chosen to minimize spoilers but i doubt anyone who has watched this far in the series would forget this scene
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Wait wait wait pierlex???? WHY HAVENT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOUVE ENLIGHTENED ME IM SOOOOO !!! 🫠🫠😵💫😵💫😵💫 oh my god 😌😌😌omg please infodump on me about them im actually feeling bonkers about this
oh man, you're in for the shortest ride of your life but i will GLADLY take you through it all <3
i'm gonna spare everyone else though i can't have the world thinking i'm more deranged than i already seem
OKAY SO i'm assuming you're familiar with the lore but if you're not, i'm willing to fall down that rabbit hole too and teach you all about that too.
now even though they've been pitted against each other ever since the dreaded driver swap in 2019, they haven't really displayed any feelings of malice towards each other (unlike pierre and ocon... THAT is unresolved sexual tension if u ask me). they've sort of... solely tolerated one another and do talk in passing.
and their parallels are insane too. both getting promoted, struggling with the car, having everyone in the media criticize them and subsequently losing their seat at the main team.
but putting all that aside, the 30 mins of content we have of them is chefs kiss. and we will rinse it until the day we die because they refuse to provide us with more.
the iconic istanbul date is our most cherished memory. THE FACT THAT WE DIDNT GET MORE CONTENT FROM THAT IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. here's the video if you haven't seen it.
and some footage of alex and pierre playing together to waste some time, here and here. AND THE PICTURES.... THE PICTURES R MY DOWNFALL.
the rb videos really fed us. i'm still so upset alex didn't make a bigger appearance in those challenge vids or any bts vids from alpha tauri since he spent a good chunk of the second half of the season last year with yuki and AT in general. forever bitter but we move.
this clip has me on a leash. if you hear someone barking, its not me. believe me, your honor. accidentally brushing fingers is THEIR always. would you be interested in seeing more videos if it means witnessing them interact for just three seconds? because i have LOADS.
one of my favorites is when the whole rb team got invited to this one red bull event in austria and pierre claimed he was a lousy skier (alex just wasn't allowed to ski, from what i remember) and so them and pol went down the slopes on bobsleds. pierre kept pausing and making sure they were all ready to go down at once and something happened that alex just missed the cue and went down later, and you could hear his MEWL and it was so ;')
this is way too long omfg but i'll drop this here and u can cry with us.
#i would tell you to check the pierlex tags but its just the same 4 people going ballistic over fleeting glances#each one is more insane than the other so i would avoid every single one of us#maybe i should've mentioned how alex basically calls pierre lifeless when he was streaming bc that guy was always online on steam#and then he went back on his word two streams later and just assumed he was hacked#and then he assumed it was a bot#and then he laughed because someone claimed that pierre didnt know how to turn his pc off#ITS THE SMALL MOMENTS THAT COUNT#pierlex#ask
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finally finally finallyyyy got to starting hacks s2 + just watched like the first 5 episodes in one go + agghhhh these characters…… these characters!!!!! 🥲🥲🥲🥲
#olivia watches hacks#there’s too much i could comment on but i’m going to bed#but all i will say is ….. deborah + ava’s ability to crack through whatever is happening at that moment#to make each other laugh is soooooooo !!!! 😵💫😵💫😵💫#feeling insane about it#also marcus + ava finally maybe becoming friends at the state fair ❤️#deborah ava + damien all dumpster diving for ava’s dad’s ashes ?? ❤️❤️❤️❤️#OK will stop there .#rambles
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You can really tell the age of people by seeing whether they said Switch built .hack or SAO...
#i laugh because people on my GC just said 'they made .hack' the other day#and then people on my dash said they made SAO
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“Tim. Timmy. Ancients, kid, what are you doing?!”
Danny Phantom smacked away the instinctual terror of seeing an eight year old dangling out of a third story window.
“I gotta go take pictures of Batman and Robin! They’re out tonight!”
Danny thought that his barely healed vivisection wound might bust open from the sheer stress.
“Setting aside how you even know the patrol schedule of honest to god vigilantes, why’d you choose the window? The house is literally empty, just walk out the front door, for Ancient’s sake.”
Tim paused, a motion Danny was overwhelmingly thankful for, and blinked sheepishly.
“Um… for the aesthetic?”
Danny allowed the silence to settle between them before dropping his head into his waiting hands. Tim panicked.
“You- you can’t stop me!”
And yeah, Danny really can’t. In the months he’s been mooching off of the Drakes (not that they’ll notice), Danny’s learned that Tim Drake is nothing but relentless in the pursuit of whatever he sets his mind on. Whether thet might be putting hot chocolate in his cereal (which Danny doesn’t actually mind) or, apparently, stalking a pair of vigilantes.
He wanted to hack into the library cameras? Danny had to hover just to make sure the kid didn’t get caught after arguing for an hour about it.
He walked out of that argument with a loss, yes, but he also let Tim know that Danny cared about him. Danny also walked out of that argument with a new hatred for Janet and Jack Drake and his mind (just as diabolical as Tim’s) whirring with plans to haunt them.
Tim is never ever introducing his new little brother to Tucker. Ever.
“Okay. I don’t want to see you take unnecessary risks, but I’m also aware that I can’t really stop you. So. I’ll go with you.”
Maybe this is like… Tim’s obsession? When he put it that way, Danny lost the fight to prevent this tiny kid from what clearly is the only joy in his poor life.
“But…!” Tim’s eyes darted to Danny’s chest, the vivisection scars still fresh in his mind.
“They’re healed.” Danny pulled his dumbass little brother off the window sill, core settling as Tim follows willingly. “I’ll make us invisible and fly with you behind Batman and Robin so you can get even better shots. You can’t make any noise, though. That camera got a shutter sound, right?”
“Yeah!” Tim’s face brightened and Danny melted. He shoved a bottle of the (incredibly stinky but helpful in a pinch) ecto contaminated tap water into a backpack, along with some snacks and a blanket for when Tim gets cold. Danny’ll be fine, he’s got a Space Core. The cold his kind of his thing.
“Cool. We’ll stay out of earshot. If things starts to get too dicey, we’re heading home, okay?”
“Okay!” The look Tim shot him is full of trust and adoration and it makes Danny’s human heart squeeze painfully. “C’mon! I don’t want to be late!”
“We need to talk about your stalking tendencies later,” Danny said fondly.
“I’m not stalking them! I’m observing them!”
“Uh-huh,” Danny drawled, picking Tim up and making them intangible and invisible. “They’re not a bird observatory and also, even the birds in the observatory knows they’re being watched. Batman and Robin clearly doesn’t.”
Danny felt more than saw Tim’s pout.
He laughs as they fly just below the Gotham-brand of toxic smog. He waves to the City’s Spirit as Tim cranes his head around to catch sight of Batman and Robin.
“There!”
Danny obliged. With Danny’s flight, Tim got much better- much closer- photos than he would have originally.
Danny hung back as the pair of vigilantes swooped down to take care of a mugging.
“Wanna mess with them?” He grinned down at his little brother, canines glinting.
Tim looked up at him, admiration and mischievousness in his gaze. “Yes.”
Gotham parted her clouds in response to their glee.
——
Dick Grayson, AKA Robin, finally understood why criminals are so creeped out by him.
Other than the whole flippy child kicking grown people’s asses and winning thing, obviously (that, and Batman loomed menacingly behind him everytime a criminal even looked at Robin wrong).
Batman had picked up on it first, but the for entirety of their patrol, they kept hearing eerie little giggles and laughter. Haunting them. Never distracting. But persistent. And so creepy. He got goosebumps.
“B, I wanna go home.”
“Hm.” That’s a resounding yes if Dick’s ever heard one.
Maybe Alfred can chase away the giggles and chuckles.
Robin shudders and follows the Bat home.
——
Danny lowered the temperature as he held Tim up near Batman’s cowl so his brother could giggle menacingly. He knew for a fact that any recording device would get completely cram led by the sheer output of ambient ectoplasm he’s emitting. Plus, it freaked Robin out and raised the hairs on the back of the vigilantes’ heads. He tones it down when he noticed Tim rubbing his hands together.
He let out a quiet laugh, enjoying the flight with his brother in his arm and the light of the stars (thanks, Gotham) at his back.
——
Danny: oh, this kid’s got an Obsession, gotta let him do it safely, he’s a liminal from all that tap water
Danny: *forgets Tim isn’t a ghost nor is he from Amity and is therefore extremely breakable*
——
Danny and Tim: doing crime is a good bonding activity
Batman and Robin, who wants to say no it isn’t but they’re literally a pair of illegal vigilantes:
——
Dick as Robin: *cackles*
Tim, learning habits from stalking them: *giggles*
Gotham Criminals: *fear*
#danny phantom#bamf danny phantom#dick grayson#tim drake is a menace#tim drake#baby tim drake#Tim Drake is a little shit#Danny Phantom is a little shit#they’re messing with the bats#and getting away with it#inspired by dick’s iconic Robin cackle#that creepy lil shit#i love them your honor#they’re brothers your honor#Gotham’s F grade tap water#thanks scarecrow#Gotham’s tap water#dc x dp#dp x dc
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Dp x Dc AU: It’s not the usual suspects trying to summon the undead this time, and it’s proving to be a massive headache for John Constantine. They seem...Competent.
When John sniffed out a new plot to summon a ghost, he kind of laughed it off. Ghosts were not more than shades of the people/creatures they used to be, without all the right resources and enough buy in from the greater spirits of the Infinite Realms, most entities that came thought might scare some kids at a slumber party but that was at most. Plus, kids were scary resilient these days thanks to the internet, so really, John’s not worried.
Then he hears about the gathering of artifacts and he has to care a little more. He learns that one Jasmine Fenton is involved and he’s... Surprised. She’s got a public record of dismissing her parent’s inventions and causing stirs at supernatural conventions (not to mention a great reputation as a research focused psychologist). Jasmine’s credit cards report a great deal of cash (refunded to her account by an unknown off-shore account) being taken out and her location is right next to the last place anyone could find a shard of the Crown.
Yeah, that Crown. The Infinite, ancient blessed and deity cursed one. John had meant to get around to investigating if the shard of obsidian (fire forged) was legit, so he begins to set his sights on Jasmine for a ‘chat’.
Then Sam Manson, a scary ass Heiress, pulls up in a limousine and all but kidnaps him and dumps him outside city limits. She tells him that he’s been cursed for the next 48 hours to stay out of their city- If he comes close, any plant will identify him in a heartbeat and come to life to kill him. (Fun fact: there are a goddamn lot of plants surrounding this stupid town, even the dandelions are forging knives to kill him.)
THEN worse, Red Robin gets on his ass about cybersecurity of all things. Turns out another player, identified by the moniker TooFineTooFurious has been tracking John’s phone and has been rummaging around official JLD documents- How was John supposed to know that keeping his passwords on the notes app could be hackable? Red Robin declares him incompetent and John can only sigh, crush his phone and move on.
That all leads him to the summoning portal in front of him in this weird ghost themed high school gymnasium. It’s far too competent. It gives him goosebumps even before he can read out that they’re summoning the King of the Infinite Realms himself. John clicks the panic alarm on his JL communicator before engaging with the Trio before him.
They’re not wearing any capes, no candles are lit, but this is the scariest cult he’s ever seen. Jasmine Fenton, ghost denier, Sam Manson, Heiress and Plant Witch (?), Some other dude with a beret and fucking DRONES (he considers this might be the man who hacked him). John pleads with them, they don’t know what they’re trying to do. Pariah Dark will kill them all, eat their entire planet for breakfast!! Everyone rolls their eyerolls at him, and he’s taken aback by their nonchalance.
Plant guards grab him and a drone has a laser sight on his forehead. He fights but is subdued- They’re almost done chanting when Superman, Green Lantern, Red Robin and Cyborg all appear. Despite their disruption- the chanting ends with the green illumination of the circle. Despair fills the air.
And then- Poof- a groaning young man appears.
“Dudes you have no idea how unhelpful the Infi-map is sometimes. I was lost for like weeks and CW was being such a bitch ab- What. Wait, who are all- Holy shit did you guys summon the Justice League?” The Ghost King in full Regalia stared back at them in questioning concern. The three summoners start bitching at the monarch and John... isn’t sure if this is going to be an interdimensional incident yet.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dc crossover#dp crossover#danny phantom#red robin#cult summoning but it's just your homies#jazz fenton#john constantine#justice league dark
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Things that both happen in the same episode of doctor who
(content warning for dark humour and references to various morbid topics)
1.A thoughtful and moving depiction of suicidal depression/The Doctor fights a giant invisible chicken
2.An iraq war allegory involving aliens that cut off human skin and wear it/those aliens also fart a lot and laugh about it
3.The Doctor is tortured for billions of years in a metaphor for the incremental nature of moving on from grief/doors are revealed to be canonically sentient and mad at everyone and the doctor makes a psychic link with one
4.The Doctor grapples with the consequences of abandoning his friend because he cannot face the inevitability of her death/aliens make kids into geniuses by feeding them french fries fried in space oil so they can hack into the universe, they are then killed by said french fry oil
5.A man must deal with his loved one's inevitable death from a terminal illness/the doctor flys a sleigh pulled by a flying shark while wearing a santa hat
6.The Doctor accidentally causes his companion to be killed then brought back only to be trapped in a dystopia for ten years mutilated and dehumanized/missy dabs
7.The endpoint of the human race is revealed to be them mutilating themselves putting their heads in spheres and sadistically murdering other humans for fun/The Doctor becomes tinkerbell jesus
8.The Doctor admits that he's seen so many people die that he's lost count and become numb to it/the villains evil plan revolves around burning a sea monsters poop as fuel
9.The Doctor grapples with the ethical implications of the death penalty/a farting alien tries to blow up a town and then escape on a space surfboard
10.The Doctor abandons his companion for 30 years and then erases a version of her from existence against her will/a robot is killed by getting hit on the head by a replica of the mona lisa
#doctor who#doctorwho#twelfthdoctor#eleventhdoctor#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#twelfth doctor#eleventh doctor#the tenth doctor#10th doctor#new who#dr who
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