#and killed a monster he couldn't even see
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Absolutely love that Marisha was probably going to make a tamer choice, but Matt saw the perfect opportunity to push her as a Delilah, and really feed Laudna's paranoia. I think that really pushed her over the edge and Marisha fully ran with it.
And Liam really thought through what he knew (this was Laudna and she's being manipulated by Delilah but not intentionally hurting Orym), vs. what Orym knew (something he couldn't see attacked him in his sleep and he needs to defend himself from it because he had no idea what it's intentions were and has every reason to assume it's trying to kill all of them). Honestly Orym remained pretty defensive overall. Love that they both learned into how much both of them felt totally justified and like they were defending the party from harmful corrupting influence.
———
I'm someone with mental health problems that cause intrusive thoughts that can make me feel so absolutely certain that I'm justified in viewing other people as being intentionally harmful and lash out at them. In the moment it feels completely justified and righteous and a truth other people need to hear even though they'll resist it. I try really, really hard to resist expressing those thoughts. I try to remind myself I will end up regretting it and pushing people away permanently who (justifiably) won't put up with that treatment.
But sometimes it's so strong or I'm so triggered by the awfulness around me and despair that it escapes me. It feels like everyone else is lying to justify evil and I'm sick of it. Consequences be damned. It feels protective of other vulnerable people. And then I lash out and say things I regret and get yelled and blocked or dropped or otherwise lose people in my life and get more and more isolated. And feel like they're totally justified because really it's me who's the evil monster and need to be isolated for other prep people's protection because I can't be trusted and can't be better. I don't even want anyone too comfort me or love me because they don't deserve to be hurt by me eventually. (I'm not saying that's actually true, but that's how I feel and it feels very real to me while it's happening.)
———
Marisha absolutely nailed that depiction. In an ongoing way but particularly in CR C3 E95. And I love that it came right off the joyous mania of the shopping spree for and crafting season where they were all bonding and making plans for the future and letting off steam. But then she was triggered and all of that didn't matter. Off anything the strength of those emotions was a pendulum whose momentum helped her distress swing harder in the other direction.
She was triggered, and Delilah was a second layer of intrusive thoughts that made her feel so sure of her feelings and actions. 100% justified as Marisha said. And she would have been totally justified in just waking Orym up and having a conversation about the sword and at least putting it in the Bag of Holding overnight until they could make a long term decision. I think that's what Marisha was planning to do until Delilah showed up. She wasn't justified in hurting Orym in a unilateral decision that she should feed the sword to Delilah. Her thoughts were very real to get but not based on facts. Whatever her intentions she hurt Orym and avoided apologizing.
And I loved how Imogen pushed back this time. So often she's enabled Laudna because she loves her wants to comfort her. But this time I think she saw that's not what Laudna needs. She needs someone to check her and keep her from escalating. She's feeling complicated feelings right now because she loves Laudna, but she hates Delilah and what Delilah is getting Laudna to do. Like the partner of an addict who loves them, but hates what the substance is doing to them and how they're acting to feed that addiction. I can't wait to see how that plays out in the future.
The whole thing was incredibly real representation to me. This is an incredibly triggering situation that they're all in and they're all crumbling in the face of it. Chetney and Orym both made deals with Nana Mori. Chetney for fame, Orym for power. Ashton secretly took the fire primordial shard and nearly killed themselves in front of Fearne and then the other others. Imogen tried to flip her mom on the cult that's indoctrinated her for decades. FCG did blow himself up. Fearne was lured away by her shitbag sperm donor in the night so he could try to kill her and have a copy take her place. Dorian watched Lolth's crown take over Opal, his brother die, and his friends scattered. Laudna is feeding Delilah's power. None of them are okay and they're all being totally reckless. They're both bonding over their recklessness and being pushed apart by it. Can't wait to see what happens next.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#critical role meta#critical role campaign 3#Bell's Hells#Laudna Critical Role#Delilah Briarwood#Orym of the Air Ashari#Imogen Temult#Chetney Pock O'Pea#Ashton Greymoore#Fresh Cut Grass#Fearne Calloway#Marisha Ray#Liam O'Brien#Matthew Mercer#Laura Bailey#long post
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Gaara Relationship Headcanons (Part 1 - Catching Feelings)
Summary: Some personal headcanons of mine for how Gaara would catch feelings for his partner.
Warnings: Mentions of Death.
Notes: Since I am lacking inspiration for a longer fic, here are some ideas of mine for how Gaara would catch feelings for his lover! May do more of these for other Naurto boys, so if you have a specific request let me know! :)
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Gaara had a rough upbringing to put it simply, and for him to even catch feelings for someone would take a while. I feel he could adore anyone; he doesn't care about your appearance at all that wouldn't be the reason he'd catch feelings for you.
Most likely he'd fall for someone from the Hidden Leaf. Say you two met during the Chūnin Exams where you were a part of Team Seven with Naruto. You were one of the few who didn't immediately fear him and even attempted to speak to him. You were met with a threatening response of course, and the look on your face he'd definitely remember.
You looked disappointed, before listening to his threat and backing off respecting his boundaries. He felt something then that he hadn't felt for a long time, he felt guilty that the small frown on your expression would haunt him throughout the entire duration of the exams.
No one had ever wanted to speak to him before, yet you did and it seemed genuine, but he convinced himself that you were just like his uncle faking being interested in him to gain an advantage to kill him later.
The boy would most likely attempt to kill you, only to be stopped by the combined efforts of you and Naruto after he let Shukaku take over.
You then offered your hand to help him up. He was a monster, yet you offered your hand to help him up even after he tried to kill you. He was shocked. When that occurred, you and Naruto helped open his eyes and he felt guilty for attempting to kill you.
Before he could take your hand, his siblings came to get him and he was still thinking about you and Naruto when he returned to the Hidden Sand.
But, more often than not he found himself thinking about you. Your smile and the way you still held your hand out for him were what motivated him to become better.
You two ran into each other every so often on combined missions between the Sand and the Leaf but he couldn't bring himself to speak to you beyond what was needed for the mission at hand.
The next time he encountered you and really spoke to you was when you came to his village with Naruto and a few other Leaf shinobi to rescue him from the hands of the Akatsuki. While you didn't arrive to save him on time before he was killed, when he was revived by Granny Chiyo your face filled with tears was the first thing he saw.
And the first words he uttered was an apology to you. Why on earth would you cry for him? Yes, he was the Kazekage now but surely you didn't still think of him as much as he thought of you.
He had been waiting to see you, more than he realized at the time, he had tried to take your life, yet you cried when he lost his.
It warmed his heart in a way that only occurred when you first offered him your hand and when you first tried to speak to him three years ago.
But what really brought warmth back into his body was when you instantly lit up when you saw that he was alive once again wiping your tears and offering your hand to help him up like you had done all those years ago. This time he was able to take it and you and Naurto helped the Kazekage back to the village.
He thanked the two of you giving you both a smile, and from then on he found himself requesting you for joint missions to the Hidden Sand more often when he could. Gaara didn't even really realize why he was, he just found himself drawn to your presence.
It didn't take long for Kankurō and Temari to realize how much he requested you be sent on the joint missions to Sunagakure and they stayed silent at first to confirm their suspicions on your next mission.
They noticed how their younger brother seemed to go out of his way to speak to you directly even when it wasn't necessary as you weren't the captain of these missions. On the surface, it may just look like he was being extra cautious, but they knew Gaara better than that and confronted him.
Kankurō first teased Gaara about it, and when he didn't get a response Temari asked him about you. The Kazekage was confused by what his older siblings were on about until they explained how he favored you.
It was then that he finally confessed about this strange feeling in his chest and the warmth he felt when you were around. That was when his older siblings explained to him that what he felt towards you was love or as Kankurō put it a "crush." He didn't know what to do with this information, there was no way you felt the same.
However, with a little push in the right direction and some not-so-helpful ideas from his brother he may have an idea on how to make his true feelings known because deep down he wants your love but would never force you he wants to go about earning your heart in the right way.
#naruto x y/n#naruto shippuden#gaara x you#gaara x reader#sabaku no gaara#gaara of the sand#gaara of the desert#gaara
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"Legend! Four!"
The battlefield was a mess, but Warriors could still hear Twilight screaming. He finished off his fight with a quick, hard slash of his blade and then looked where Twilight was staring.
Four was on the ground, awake but clearly dazed and wounded. Legend stood over him, sword in his hands and wild eyed. Twilight was surrounded and was fighting like a madman, but Warriors saw that there was no way that he would be able to get to them in time. He couldn't make out the other members of the chain in this mess. This was Warriors's world, and the battles here tended to be spread out and terrible, the enemies using their great numbers to overpower their foes.
Bokoblins tried to swarm Warriors. He fought them off even as he kept one eye on Legend and assessed the situation. Something cut the back of his leg, and he kicked the bokoblin away without looking. Legend was tiring. Four was still awake but not getting up.
Both had revealed themselves to be shifters. Warriors guessed all of the heroes were, although he had only seen some of the different shapes. Twilight often used his wolf shape. Warriors had seen Mask transform but had never seen Time do so. Sky loved flying with Wind. He had only seen both Four and Legend transform once but knew their alternate forms wouldn't help them now. He doubted Four was coherent enough to shift and Legend's shift would only get him killed.
Only Mask had seen Warriors's other form, and if he had his way, only Mask would ever see his form. It was humiliating. It was another reminder of how poorly he fit the legendary hero title. He hadn't transformed since the last time Mask had seen him when he was barely 18 years old.
Legend and Four needed him. They were also on the far side of the battlefield.
With a swift slash, Warriors cleared the area around him. Anxiety rose in him but he pushed it back with long experience. He needed to save his brothers.
If any of them laughed at them for this, he would step on them.
Warriors took a deep breath and shifted.
It ached and his muscles protested. It felt like resuming sword practice after a long illness. Warriors hissed with pain, which transformed into a high whinny.
How embarrassing.
His body felt different than what he remembered from the last transformation. The ground seemed farther away than before. Warriors had no time to focus on it or Twilight's sudden, startled shouting. He bolted toward Legend and Four, stomping on or leaping over any monsters who stepped in front of him.
It was easier than he expected. His legs felt stronger. He would need to transform in private later.
For now, he needed to save his brothers. Nothing else mattered.
Well, Legend's wide eyes and fallen jaw mattered. A little. "You're a fucking UNICORN?" he spluttered when Warriors paused beside him.
Warriors snorted and knelt on the ground. No time for that. Legend seemed to agree, because even as he kept muttering to himself, he dragged first Four and then himself onto Warriors's back. With one last huff, Warriors stood up and ran from the battlefield. He would handle the rest of the details later.
"A fucking unicorn," Legend was still grumbling on Warriors's back. It made Warriors feel a little better about his embarrassing shift.
It helped, too, that Legend was stroking his neck with the hand not holding onto Four. Maybe Warriors would even be willing to transform after this battle.
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Fangs Of A Monster
Pairing: Suguru Geto x gn!reader
Warning: murder, death, angst
A/n: Welcome to the blog anniversary. It's been 4 years writing for you all. Thought I'd drop a little something for you all from today till the end of the week(hopefully ) to commemorate the day!
"Suguru? Suguru? Where are you?", you call out but I'm met with silence. The door was left wide open which was strange for Suguru's parents.
You could feel your arm hurt as you ran your fingers along the wall. You weren't the strongest sorcerer and your body knew that better than anyone. Well... anyone but Geto. You hadn't gotten the chance to head back to Jujutsu High. Not when he hadn't informed you of his status. He was not in Jujutsu High. That's all you knew.
You can sense any curse energy seeping out of the house. It was familiar but much too ominous. The house is in perfect order. Nothing spilt, nothing torn and the quiet humming of the TV but the smell was horrendous.
You take a look at the pictures on the wall and smile. You watch as they progress and look at the changes Suguru has undergone. His wide and toothy grin gradually fell into a sly and curt smile as each picture passed. When you compare it to the latest picture of him on the wall, it doesn't look anything like a smile.
"Suguru?," You cross the boundaries even further finally reaching the living room. The smell had increased ten-fold. The couch seemed empty but the table in front of it was amiss. You walk closer and are met with the lower halves of two bodies. That was what stunk. You jump back and press your arms tightly against your lips to keep you from screaming.
They were Geto's parents or at least what remained of them. "Does Geto know about this? Has he seen them?" you think. The grotesque bodies in front of you were covered in maggots and flies meaning it had been like this for a few days.
You rush out of the house with a bitter taste in your mouth. Something was wrong. A curse had clearly done it, the bite was massive, and no animal on earth could do it without some sort of assistance.
You tap violently against your screen before bringing it to your ear. You needed to see him. You needed to be sure he was ok. That he had someone near him. Someone he loved!
"Hello my love, were you looking for me," You hear him say as he approaches you in the hallway of the apartment building. You end the call and sigh in relief. He was alive but something was wrong.
"Geto! Are you hurt?," You rush to him and inspect him for any injuries it marks he did not leave jujutsu high with.
"I am fine, my love."
"Your parents, they-"
"I know"
"How are you so calm?"
"Because your parents are the same way."
"What?," You question, his statement not fully registering in your mind.
"I mean that they died the same way yours did. Did you not know? Don't tell me you came to Tokyo to search for me without ever stopping to see your parents-" He smiled. "-You really are the best partner a man could ever ask for."
Your eyes were wide when he laughed. The way he always did. He relayed the message that your parents died and was laughing!
"What is wrong with you Suguru? You can't say all that and laugh. Have you gone mad?"
"Pardon me, my love. But you can't expect me to be sad that a couple of monkeys died."
"Monkeys? What do yo-"
"I guess I'll have to say it. I killed them. I have no regrets about it either. I have a plan to erase curses from the face of the earth for good! They were a small price to pay-"
"They were my parents Geto! Our parents. You had no right to take their life!"
"They were non-jujutsu sorcerers, they bred curses and they shackled you,"
"Shackled me? You've truly gone mad Geto!"
"You told me that if I ever had anything I needed, you were in, I didn't even have to ask-"
"Not when it involves killing people! Geto! Not when it involves killing my parents and everyone you consider a Monkey!"
"You may not understand but I did it all for us. I couldn't stand to keep tasting curses, nor did I want you to keep getting hurt fighting them."
You never asked him to do this. So what if you get hurt? What if you get into a bit of trouble? You come out alive! You fell silent, a single question lingering on your mind.
"If-if I couldn't use curses, would you kill me too?", You asked quietly. You weren't sure what answer you wanted to hear. The man in front of you was nothing like the man you once knew. This man was over the edge and he intended to drag you along with him.
He fell silent, he was thinking. He had given me his answer.
"You would."
"Love I-"
"Don't call me that! Not after what you've done."
"Don't say th-"
"I shouldn't? Let me say this instead. I never want to see you again, Geto. The next time you see me, consider me your enemy."
"Love please I-," Geto can't get the words to form when you storm past him down the hallway. He feels his chest burn and suddenly it feels as though this was God's way of paying him back for his wrongs. This fate was much worse than the deaths of any of the Monkeys he had killed. He had lost the best piece of him, you.
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu geto#genshin impact#jujutsu gojo#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#jjk geto#geto suguru#geto x reader angst#jjk geto x reader#dogloveri23#jjk x reader
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'Epic: The Musical' confuses me
So one day, YouTube decided to let me know that someone apparently did a Hamilton-style musical play retelling of The Odyssey (with a little bit of The Iliad at the start).
Here are two of my favorite 'animatics' for my favorite song.
youtube
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I can see why these YouTubers would be so inspired. The music, the emotional performances of the singers, the lyrics... It's an experience that sticks in your mind.
But I've got a LOT to say about what doesn't work for me.
Cruel Vengeance or Ruthlessness Teaching?
What baffles me is the central thesis of the play, which is encapsulated in this song but which is equally strong in other parts. Especially one later in the play, "Monster".
It's not that the thesis "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" that confuses me. It's a very similar sentiment to "Mercy for the guilty is cruelty to the innocent."
I understand the difference between ruthlessness and cruelty. Ruthlessness is simply about getting the job done without regard for mercy or sadism, but cruelty is entirely about indulging in sadism without regard for getting the job done.
Indeed, while Poseidon is clearly engaging in deliberate cruelty, at no point does he accuse Odysseus of cruelty. He accuses Odysseus of not being ruthlessness enough.
One actually starts to wonder if Poseidon truly intended to kill Odysseus. Why bother trying to teach Odysseus that "mercy has a price", why constantly hammer him with the message "you need to be more ruthless", if Poseidon really didn't intend for Odysseus to survive to apply that lesson later? That ambiguity is one point of confusion.
Why Odysseus?
A bigger point of confusion is why the play's writer is trying to apply this moral to Odysseus at all.
In the traditional version of the story, Odysseus's mistake against the cyclops Polyphemus was letting his anger and pride get the better of him. He cruelly taunted the blinded cyclops, even foolishly revealing his real name and identity to magnify the man-eater's humiliation.
Aside from that one act of cruelty, Odysseus was extremely ruthless. He and his men couldn't simply kill Polyphemus in his sleep, because they needed him to move the giant rock with which he'd blocked the cave's entrance. And after they escaped, they didn't turn around to finish the giant off because he was still a powerful giant, and there were more giants on the island.
But in 'Epic: The Musical', the playwright tries to twist things around and doesn't really succeed. One of Odysseus' surviving best friends urges Odysseus to lead the men back and finish the cyclops off.
But Odysseus urges caution, and he's still proven correct when the other cyclopes on the island answer Polyphemus' cries of pain and suffering. If the humans had turned back, they would have died even if Polyphemus alone didn't prove to be too much of a threat.
Then the play breaks WILDLY from tradition by having Athena herself make an appearance, where she too scolds Odysseus for not turning around and trying to finish Polyphemus off. And Odysseus refuses not out of pragmatism or caution, but out of MERCY.
Now, Odysseus has always been capable of mercy, but traditionally he has never extended mercy to a bloodthirsty enemy.
Yet when Odysseus reveals his true identity, it's not because he's viciously angry or proudly smug. He twists the metaphorical knife in an explicit bid to magnify any regret Polyphemus might feel for killing and eating any other innocent travelers who find his home.
It's only later, during "Monster", that Odysseus the Wise, the Clever, the Cunning, realizes that Polyphemus never felt anything like guilt or shame for his actions.
I'm not convinced that Odysseus was the right character to need this play's thesis taught to him. And my opinion is reinforced by the fact that the playwright needed to turn the minor character of Polites into the most unbelievable caricature of a Disney Princess... despite having been a soldier in the Trojan War, and presumably part of the Trojan Horse ploy.
"Greet the world with open arms" should not be something you can say to the man who tricked the Trojans with the ploy that came to codify the phrase "Trojan Horse".
What is 'Mercy' supposed to be?
Going back to Poseidon and ruthlessness and mercy, Poseidon repeatedly tells Odysseus that he needs to stop fighting "to save lives", being "far too nice", merciful, and hopeful.
"So close your heart / The world is dark and / Ruthlessness is mercy upon (ourselves)"
While Odysseus later reasons in "Monster" that being merciful to not only himself but the people who depend upon him requires him to show no mercy to anyone or anything that threatens them, Poseidon doesn't make that distinction at all.
Poseidon doesn't distinguish between different forms or degrees of mercy, he denigrates all mercy with blanket statements.
He doesn't accuse Odysseus of fighting to save the lives of his intractable enemies; his accusation almost seems to apply to any of Odysseus' efforts to save the lives of his men.
Not to mention how the lyrics "You are the worse kind of good / Cause you're not even great" sound so much like "you're an idiot to strive for a moral perfection despite your imperfect human nature; you should just settle for being petty and unreasonably hostile".
Heck, Poseidon at points sounds angrier that Odysseus refused to kill his son than that Odysseus blinded him. That’s how much he seems to hate the very idea of mercy.
Conclusion
I think this play might have something worthwhile to say about recognizing that the world is a hostile place and that unconditional vulnerability, trust, and mercy is only going to lead you to ruin. That you WILL meet people who are wholeheartedly and unreasonably determined to ruin your day.
But everything I see feels like a cynical, poisonous take on that idea.
Or else it is a mixed bag of good ideas and questionable execution by someone who was confused about how to tell the story they wanted in a way that made sense.
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genuinely considering starting a Paul Blofis loving sideblog... man is making his way to blorbo supreme wow
#im not gonna cause ill probably abandon it but like#love of my life#hes so radical man#and canonically super hot#bros described as a super model#and hes an english teacher#which like i feel like theres something about percy being dyslexic and having daddy issues then gains a dad that can help him w english#idk man i just think hes neet#kite on the soapbox#Peter Johnson universe#paul blofis#percy jackson#plus he was in acting classes in collage#and killed a monster he couldn't even see#and when he found out percy was a demi god legit just thought it was cool#and he loves sally jackson#which like same king
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holy shit did kipperlilly kill buddy so that if kristen died no one would be able to bring her back and the only member of the church of cassandra would be gone
#i mean there was a lot at play here#it sounds like buddy wouldn't have been able to revive them even if he hadn't been murdered because the gems weren't in his bag??#unclear whether he knew that or not - currently i'm inclined to believe he was being genuine about reviving them#but someone had stolen the gems so he couldn't. i might be giving him too much credit idk#but i think kipperlilly's original plan was to kill gavin pundle to sabotage their exam - buddy wouldn't have been able to bring him back#w/o the gems and neither would kristen. so their grade would be significantly impacted#and if neither cleric can bring anybody back and the proctor isn't there to oversee the fight the monsters might have just kept coming#until the bad kids really did all drop#but idk why kipperlilly would suddenly switch to killing buddy if that wasn't the original plan and if he already couldn't revivify them??#unclear also how much oisin knew of this. rn im wondering if he was onboard w sabotaging the exam but didnt know she was going to kill budd#& the plane shift was an immediate shock reaction#or i did see someone suggest he wasn't even there to see it which. is also possible#idk just. many thoughts. head full. what the fuck was up with that preview also#my post#d20#fantasy high#fhjy
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not to Titans post but something about Gar being almost right outside the church (or whatever it was) when Rachel escaped always struck me as weird. either Doom Manor is really close to that church place and Gar just so happened to be there as a tiger or Gar followed them after they left roller rink and I honestly think that's what happened, the way the scene was lingering on his reaction after the group leaves and he's just randomly outside church at the perfect moment to meet up with Rachel again, almost like he knew what was going on and was ready to take her away from that place if/when she got out. It seems the most logical to me. I think he got curious after how weird the situation at the roller rink was and decided to follow them, and probably used his enhanced hearing to eavesdrop when he needed to like to learn about keeping Rachel at the church.. or he just is really well at hiding and heard everything from the shadows (which would also make sense since he seems to be a pretty good thief and would have to learn to sneak around and hide)
#there's so much about gar in s1 i need answers to but the show dropped it all#like why couldn't rachel see his memories when they held hands or heal him when he was poisoned#how did the asylum already know who he was when gar never introduced himself as 'garfield' in s1#and even though they ask him to 'show us what you are' they seem to already have some kind of idea of what he can do#since they put him in a cage which would make sense if they expected him to turn into somekind of animal/monster#honestly who knows what the chief had ties to#if he's okay with killing a ton of people for his own gain i don't think he'd have a problem working with the organization to some degree#wow thinking about s1 again really reminded me of how interesting and dark (in a good way) titans used to be#they really should have kept going with that atmosphere and storytelling instead of changing it into whatever season 2 was and onward#gar logan#titans
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this panel from the world guide of falin being surrounded by other girls while laios is all alone kills me because. that's it. that's the key difference in their journeys.
as laios states himself, he left the village in order to create a home for him and falin elsewhere. a home that won't collapse due to others' hatred and fears like their old home did, a home where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. but as he soon found out, even before earning money, or having walls surrounding him and a roof above his head- what he so earnestly desired was to meet other people who will accept him for who he is as well. instead, he kept being tormented by those around him, shunned and sneered at. his loneliness quickly became all-consuming until he truly had nothing left except for the monsters in the pages of his book, but even that became a target of mockery and destroyed. that's why ever since the day he left the village, he never felt that he truly made the right choice. so he kept running away: unable to resist and unable to accpet.
and an ocean away from him there was his sister, who never managed to fully fit in herself. but unlike him, she met a person who became a home to her and learned what a true friendship was for the first time in her life. and laios clearly realizes that too when he finally sees falin and marcille together, he can tell his sister obtained the greatest treasure there is on her own- the exact thing he never managed to find anywhere himself, thus coming back empty-handed to the sister he left the village for.
but when you read this part of the manga, laios's focus is on falin's loneliness, not his own. he talks about how it hurts thinking about all those moments she had to spend alone because he wasn't there for her, so it almost sounds like he's the one who couldn't bear her suffering and therefore decided to not let her go again. but we do get a glimpse of their first meeting after that almost-decade long separation in the manga, and then we see more of that in the world guide and daydream hour- and it becomes abundantly clear that it was falin who was trying to protect and save him from this pit of loneliness and depression he was in.
so instead of just doing his best to atone for leaving her behind in the village and making sure she is never lonely again, it might also be that laios was desperately clinging to the one person in the world he felt that accepted and loved him unconditionally. those words he used to describe his motivation to stay by falin's side are the exact words she would've used as well; she couldn't bear leaving him behind in this state. in a sense, they were each other's shackles.
but then she did. she died for him and their friends, and ironically enough, it was by leaving him alone like this that he was finally able to stand on his own and put his full trust in others. to have the courage to reveal who he is and give others the opportunity to accept him after such a long time of hiding. it was a long journey, but his hiding finally came to an end when he faced the others after shedding his monster form. and i love that the person who was falin's "home" all those years away from laios, marcille, became just as meaningful to him during their time separated from falin- the first one to find him and show him that he isn't alone anymore. just as he did for her.
so at the end of the story when falin talks about all the places she would like to go, it's not just that she wants to pursue her own dreams- but that she actually feels free to do so and go anywhere she desires. and one of the main reasons for that is that her brother finally found new people he wants to be with; his own home.
#im listening to fmab sad soundtrack while writing this im gonna die actually#dungeon meshi#laios touden#falin touden
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not 2 keep posting literally Only Vents (and like 1 normal thing once a day) but it's nights like these I reminisce about my abuser and wonder all that "what if"s
all the sui tw/cw tags r because of shit I wrote in the tags
#➳ valentin vents#and yes i am purposefully triggering memories by listening to my playlist of songs i had full blown panic attacks and mental breakdowns to#or would listen to while it manipulated and turned me into his own little puppet while i felt disgust and. so. unsatisfied.#i hate that you all know me as who i am now#i hate that this is the me you have to see#why couldn't you all have met the sweet immature aqua who made sex jokes and who's only worry was petty drama ?#why couldn't you guys have gotten attached to him ? he would have been a better friend and partner than this aqua .#this aqua cries xerself to bed every night even if things are theoretically fine and makes her life miserable for no reason#he's selfish and always demands more and more and then plays the victim about it#she shouldn't exist . this vessel should have died a year ago when it met the person — the monster — who ruined it .#the asshole who killed innocent sonia and left his body to be possessed by the worthless maryne#i should have done it . i should have gone and chugged all those pills instead of just cutting contact . maybe he would have felt remorse#maybe I'd have saved so much money and tears and not have wasted the time of those who got to know this current '' being ''#but I've always been too much of a pussy to do something like that#oh well#i guess I'll just have to wait until the universe decides it's my time since i guess . idk . dad would miss me a lot . maybe some irls woul#too ? and mom and grandma . yeah I'll . uh . not chug an entire bottle of whatever random pills i can find in my cabinet .#i still need to get married some day . and at the very least I'm not dying a virgin lmao#ugh angways aqua stfu time go cry in uur bed like uu always do stop telling people online how uu should have killed uurself a year ago n#sharing tmi about uur trauma !!!!#tw sui mention#tw sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#cw sui mention#cw sui ideation#cw sui thoughts#yea
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How would Monster!König act his his mate had a miscarriage (or something like a miscarriage) with their eggs? Like he goes to check on them one day and they’re curled up in the nest with blood all between their legs and they look sick. I feel like he’d become super protective of them and caring and somehow feel like it was his fault.
CW: Miscarriages
Konig isn't too surprised at first - after all, he wouldn't even care about his children if it weren't for his biological need to dump his eggs somewhere. He wouldn't even notice, honestly, his care for the eggs stops the moment he releases them...he does care about you. At least. Somewhat. Kinda.
You feel the pain growing somewhere deep in you, you see the blood and discarded, crushed slimy "shells" of eggs slowly moving out of your aching pussy. You cry, you yelp, you beg for the monsters stationed to look after you not to call Konig because you're sure he is going to kill you when he finds out you weren't able to carry his eggs to term - you are terrified of the thought of him dropping you, discarding you like a used toy.
Konig is...soft when he finds out. He couldn't care less about the eggs, but he does care that his wife, his favorite little pet, his perfect(not anymore, well) incubator being so stressed out and in so much pain - either real or phantom one. He calls for the human vet as fast as possible, cradling you in his arms while you cry and beg for him to not throw you away, to let you try one more time, to just give you one more chance.
It's the first time he actually had to confront his feelings with you verbally - usually, it's enough for him to just give you things or do things for you, without the vulnerability and the horrors of being perceived by his precious little mate. Now, he has to express his feelings for you - he whispers that it's okay, you didn't fail him, you can still be his mate, he will just have to take extra good care of you. He doesn't feel like it's his fault, but he tries his best to be as soft with you as possible, without even calling you mean names for at least two weeks!
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Please Princess
Summary: You were kidnapped by Kronos goons, and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, a familiar face proved you wrong
Pairing: Luke Castellan x daughterofPoseidon!reader
warning: Angst!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also kind of long (Sorry)
(This scene was inspired by Euphoria)
You’ve lost count of how many days since you’ve been in this cell. You don’t remember how one of Kronos’s goons managed to sneak up on you, one minute you were walking to the Poseidon Cabin late at night and the next you were in this small ass cell that only had a crappy spring mattress.
You were expecting Kronos’s goons to rough you up, but they haven’t. They’ve only come in once a day to give you food and water which you end up throwing back in the goon's faces. They still never laid a finger on you, you were starting to believe that you were leverage for whatever the hell your brother Percy was doing.
The next day you just sit Chris cross applesauce on the ground and face the wall when you hear footsteps. “Heard you were being stubborn” A familiar voice announced, your eyes widened No not him Luke was the last person you wanted to see. You touched the scar that laid across your cheekbone, something you got from that night.
You went to find Luke and Percy because they were taking a while and you wanted to enjoy the fireworks with them. You find them pointing their swords at each other, Luke tried to explain how Percy lied about not being the lightning thief but of course, you didn’t believe him which led to you and Percy trying to take Luke down. Luke swung backbiter intending to strike at Percy but he dodged and ended up cutting you.
You were heartbroken, Luke was the love of your life! You didn’t care about glory or getting the god's attention, as long as Luke was with you. You believed Luke cared about you too, he was your biggest supporter! This made you wonder if he was only dating you so you would be more willing to join Kronos.
Luke placed the tray on the small meal table on the cell door, “Come on please eat something” Luke’s voice laced with concern. You tried to blink away the tears, gods he’s still acting like he cares about you. You still sat with your back facing the man you once loved, even if you knew what you wanted to say, your voice couldn’t be found.
“You need to eat…please princess” Luke begged, when he called you his old nickname for you the memories that you tried to shut out came rushing back, all the campfires, sneaking to the lake at night, movie night on your phone. You couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, “don’t call me that” your voice cracked, Luke was relieved to hear her voice oh how he missed it.
He wanted to hear your voice more “Princess please, you have to understand” Luke tried to explain, and for the first time you looked at him filled with rage “Understand?” you mumbled, and you stood up “Understand?!” you yelled storming towards the cell door, words couldn’t describe how enraged you were “you betrayed us!” you yelled shoving the food tray back at Luke. The traitor didn’t flinch, “Y/N” Luke’s voice was soft, it felt weird that he was saying your real name “The gods don’t care about us, they have ignored us for too long. We’re just pawns to their game” Luke explained his eyes that only known kindness now replaced with spite and hatred, you glared at the man you once loved “So that’s supposed to make it okay for you to try to kill my brother?! He’s a kid!” You yelled white-knuckling the cell bars “I’m sorry for that Y/N, I am, but I need to make sure Kronos will rise” Luke explained, you felt your heart ripping once again.
You took a few steps back and looked at this monster who looked like the man you used to love. Your eyes darkened, You never thought he would kill a kid “That dragon should’ve fucking killed you” your voice laced with venom, that was a punch in the gut for Luke “You don’t mean that” Luke whispered his eyes glossed, “I do mean it!” you muttered at Luke who remained silent “You fucking betrayed us, Luke! You betrayed Annabeth! You betrayed me! And it fucking hurts Luke!” You shouted tears running down your face. Luke mumbled “I love you” You couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to say that “No you don’t!” your voice cracked, Luke nodded his head “I love you” he mumbled once again, Gods will he stop saying that “No you don’t! Stop saying that! You don’t love me!” You shouted, clapping your hands with the last sentence.
Luke has never seen you this angry especially at him, you guys have arguments but they were never this bad. You leaned into the cell bars wanting to look Luke in the eyes “I have a lot of regrets in my life, but I have to say that meeting you has to be on the top of my fucking list” You explained in a malicious tone, Luke's eyebrows raised. A tear ran down Luke's cheek “You don’t mean that princess” Luke mumbled, you’d be lying if you didn’t feel a little bit satisfied by making him cry “I.mean.every.fucking.word” you spat at him. Luke grabbed your hand before you could walk away to catch your breath “Stop” you mumbled trying to pull away but Luke tightened his grip, he turned your hand over, exposing your palm. You studied Luke who looked at you with love before giving your palm a soft kiss something he used to do all the time, your eyes glossed at the sight.
Luke gave it a final kiss before letting go, you cradled it into your chest “Y/N, none of this was supposed to betray you. I love you, I’m doing this for us” Luke explained calmly, you looked at Luke with murderous eyes “We could’ve left, Luke. We could’ve lived in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, just like we used to talk about” You reminded in a low tone your throat was dry and sore from the screaming, Luke shook his head “You know it’s not that simple, not for us” Luke explained, you knew it was true there would be monsters knocking on your door every five minutes but you wouldn’t have cared.
You started to laugh “You know you're no different than them” You stated looking up at your ceiling, Luke raised an eyebrow “The gods” you continued, you were walking side to side in your cell “That’s not true” Luke grumbled, you laughed one again “but you are. You’re no better than Zeus, you’re no better than Ares…you’re no better than your father” you muttered, you smiled in satisfaction when Luked at you with rage in his eyes “I am nothing like them,” Luke told his voice laced with venom, you nodded your head not believing him “you’re a fucking vampire. Just like them” you muttered, Luke stood there in disbelief “You just go around sucking the fucking spirit out of everyone!” You yelled pressing your face into the cell bars and looking him dead in the eyes, Luke shook his head “You know that’s not true” he reminded, your murderous eyes staring him down “It is fucking true!” you yelled before walking away from the bars.
Then Luke had the nerve to say the three words again “Y/N, please! I love you!” he shouted, you wished he would stop lying “No you love being loved! You love being needed and being awed at like your some whimsical fucking creature!” You yelled wishing the bars weren’t here so you could leave, Luke sighed before looking at you “I love you! What will it take for you to believe me?!” Luke shouted in frustration, you wiped away your old tears “If you want me to believe you then stay away from me” You muttered, Luke shook his head making you sigh in frustration “Then let Kronos’s goons kill me because looking at you makes me physically fucking ill!” you spat at him before walking into a corner with your back facing him, telling him that you are done talking to him.
You stood there until you heard the main door slammed, you turned around and he was gone. You felt like an idiot for dating him, you should’ve seen it coming. You should’ve killed him that night, he was no longer the man you loved. It’s all your fault, out of anyone in camp you should’ve been the one to know that he was up to something.
You slid down against the wall, you brought your knees into your chest, and you were hysterical crying into your knees. Even though with everything that is happening, deep down you still loved him and you wished you didn’t.
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x y/n#luke castellan#luke castellan x you#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan fanfic#percy jackson imagine#percy jackson x reader
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my angel baby [part 2]
(alastor w/ angel daughter reader)
[caution: NOT PROOFREAD oh and angst hehe]
(notes: alastor joins charlie and vaggie in heaven to convince them about the hazbin hotel. angel reader physically resembles a fawn. )
[tags: @luujjvi @c-lunette @mokisano @ghostdoodlen @wildfire153 @anonymousewrites @bewitchedbymadness @thisbitchreallyneedssleep @22carolina08 @original-person]
[remember if you want to keep in touch with a particular series I write, let me know in comments or messages you want to be tagged! you will only be tagged once unless specified that you want to be tagged till the end of a particular series!]
(also once again, apologies if alastor’s last name isn’t actually altruist qwq it’ll stick till the end of this fic but I’ll try not to mention it as much)
For the first time in years, you feared being in heaven.
Not that you felt unsafe, just that you felt incredibly uncomfortable seeing your serial killer dad who's now a demon be invited to be in the place where light and goodness is it's main foundation.. even reassuring yourself that it was temporary didn't calm you down when you were flying away from him. For your own sake you even avoided where the welcoming was happening.
Ahh but.. it also didn't help that he was following you around after the show without you knowing.
After the angels had performed their song to welcome in the princess of hell, her apparent partner, and-- him.. everyone sort of went their separate ways and the visitors from below started to relax in their new yet temporary places of stay. You felt a bit of relief when you assumed Alastor would also be setting himself in to relax as well.
During heaven's performance you decided to take a breather at a local coffee shop, one where you thankfully always had a spot there where you could hide away from the huge windows of the cafe.
Although right after that, unbeknownst to you at the time, Alastor was looking for you, but obviously pretended as if he was looking for a good bite to eat.. unfortunately for him he had to behave and he couldn't eat a living walking thing until after they came back home.
Oh how bummed out he was.
You were in a far corner inside the shop, as mentioned before anyone that was able to look in through the windows wouldn't be able to see you since you were out of view. Drinking your favorite beverage that the shop offered and eating a filling snack to relax your body and mind. Safe to say you were now more in touch with your feelings and weren't overly panicked as you once were.
'Why is he here.. is he an advisor to the princess? a companion?.. some kind of servant?.. she's really young though, perhaps she's ward to him or something.. but she has her.. dad.. and I'm sure he must be alive still.. ' You thought, different theories and ideas passing by in and out your head trying to make sense of the situation.
'perhaps.. he's here to see me?..' you hoped, then scolded yourself right after,
'nono.. I can't be wanting that.. sure he raised you but he's a monster. he killed you, _____. get a grip..' you sighed deeply while massaging your temples in frustration 'even if he seemed to not.. have meant to do that. he tried to kill someone else anyway, that poor man could've died instead of you.' you tried to reason with yourself, coming to a single conclusion in the end.
Eyes glued to your drink. staring at it with intensity.
"I regret nothing." you claimed to yourself in a low mumble, not enough for anyone close to hear.
Ahh.. but you did miss him very much.. the version of him that you grew up with at least.
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You were in your warm and humble home with your father. It was a fairly cold night with rain dropping onto the roof of your home yet the warmth of the house seemed to make the cold seem almost cozy to you.
Your small footsteps could be heard running around the house, as your little seven year old self ran around you seemed to be giggling uncontrollably with a peculiar circular item in your hand.
"No running in the house _____, remember what I told you." Alastor exclaimed in slight irritation as he could hear you from afar while he was cleaning up the table from the dinner you two just had, he started slightly missing the times when you didn't know how to walk and when you simply just blabbered baby nonsense.. he definitely doesn't miss the sleepless nights of baby crying though.
You huffed and puffed as you then plopped the item on the sofa, it was a disk, a record. You then climbed yourself up and once your little body landed on the cushions you then picked yourself up once more to then grab the disk and turn to the small table right beside the sofa where a large phonograph rested on.
"Papa!" you exclaimed, "Papa! Music music!.." you pleaded, your little voice begging to once again turn on the music playing machine.
Alastor faintly chuckled at your little demands, amusing how such a small thing dares to command but nonetheless he found it silly at how you tried. "Yes yes my dear, I'll be right there." He then set the last few dirty dishes away to be cleaned soon since he couldn't say no to listening to some tunes before bed.
You smiled brightly as your little feet playfully tapped on the cushions, almost jumping. Noticing your developing excitement Alastor hurried over to you.
"Ah-ah-ahh, no jumping on the sofa my dear. I'm excited as well but I can't have you break your little head open, that'd be no fun at all!" Well.. that and he didn't wanna ruin his cushions, but nonetheless he cared for your wellbeing the most even if he wasn't fond of admitting it.
His hands gently took the disk from your hands, carefully setting the disk on the phonograph to have it play your favorite tunes. Once you two heard the amazing first few notes of jazz was when Alastor settled down beside you on the sofa and you started clapping in delight.
Alastor looked at you almost fondly, letting out a small huff of delight at your reactions. Your innocence seemed to be something that contained him from wanting to continue his murder spree, although his bloodlust always wins in the end, he seems to always willingly pause his life for you.
Plus, he loves jazz just as much as you do.. why would he miss out on this?
Your fit of giggles dwindled down but didn't stop, in a sudden burst of energy you jumped off the sofa and then started dancing similarly yet obviously a bit more goofy to how you've seen couples and single dancers dance in the nights of Mardi Gras or just parties your father took you when he would be invited. Your little dance moves seemed to be fiddled with confidence yet they were so off from what you were trying to attempt, nonetheless you were happy, and that's what Alastor secretly liked to see.
"Dance with me papa dance with me!" you pleaded again, your smaller hands grabbing his larger one and tugging at it, trying to get him to stand up.
"_____ darling no tugging, besides I just sat down my dear and I'm exhausted." He sighed, his constant smile always present yet he was visibly a bit tired from the day he had.
But oh how you persisted, and how darn adorable you were as a kid. "But papaaa!.. pretty please! I wanna dance how you and that singing lady did the last time we went on those big loud places!"
"Parties, dear." he corrected you, but let out a long sigh and got up. Because no matter how tired he was or how annoyed he seemed to be he didn't mind keeping you happy.
So that's what he did, he danced with you. Swinging you, twirling you around to the melody and the beat, your cheers of glee and uncontrollable laughter motived him to keep up with your excitement. Not only that but your smile, genuine and pure, it was what he needed to get himself to match your energy. Jazz music was what always connected you two and it always brought you together no matter what.
At the end of the song Alastor ended it by gently throwing you up in the air and catching you, letting you get your last giggles out. You both laughed together, your bond ever growing stronger. You truly did tame this bloodthirsty killer without even trying or knowing, of course you were too young to know.
Once the giggle frenzy ended you both finished your dancing with a long sigh, the phonograph ending it's segment. You then suddenly yawned and rested your head in the crook of his neck over his shoulder, snuggling for warmth and for a sudden need to sleep.
"Seems like my little fawn needs sleep now, almost past your bedtime young lady." Normally he'd scold you a bit more strictly as he usually did, but seeing as how you were basically ready to fall into a pile of dreams he just felt no need to do that.
"Sorries papa.. I forgot.." your little words muffled by your face hidden in his neck.
Alastor was never one for being touched, let alone hugged or snuggled. Oh but he had no right to complain, he's had you this close since you were a baby.. to him this just felt normal now.
Of course no one but you could be this close to him, you're his little girl after all.
"No need to worry, my dear." He stopped in front of your bedroom, carefully opening the door with a creak following after. With careful footsteps he walked towards your bed, pulling the blanket away to then gently place you on your cozy sheets with care.
Alastor gently moved any misplaced hairs away from your face as he then pulled your soft and warm blanket up to your neck. Your sleeping face reassuring him.
"Sweet dreams sweetheart." His usual smile softening a bit more before backing away and slowly heading towards the door of your room, lingering for a few extra seconds to take one last look at you before slowly closing the door and heading off to bed himself.
After the click of the door closing can be heard, you mumbled "Goodnight papa.." with a smile, even if in the end Alastor didn't get to hear it.
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You missed him, dearly.
A weight fell on your chest, your eyes begging to form tears. You missed when you had that childhood innocence, when you didn't know what he was capable of, when he was nothing but a saint to you.
It still hurt after all these years, you thought he was a good man.. a bit strict, blunt, a bit too true to himself and definitely peculiar but.. the Alastor that raised you would never do that. Until you were obviously proven otherwise.
Oh but I guess you were too into your reminiscing that you didn't notice the background gasps and small shrieks of surprise and fear, and you didn't yet feel the eventual stares and eerie presence right in front of you.
"What don't you regret, my dear?"
You choked on your drink in surprise almost spitting it out,
that fucking radio voice again.
For heaven's sake how did he find you?? He couldn't have seen you through the windows. Did he follow you??.. did you just not notice.. Oh geez maybe getting used to having your guard down during all your years in heaven definitely didn't help with this situation.
You continued coughing on your drink, even punching your chest a bit to get that last good cough out. The radio demon pulled the chair in front of you to sit across from you, not waiting to ask permission.
To him he didn't need to, he's your father after all.
Once you calmed down you immediately avoided eye contact, only giving him a once second glance to confirm it was him in hopes your ears were playing a trick on you-- they weren't.
"How.. how'd you find me.." you mumbled in slight fear.
"Oh how would I not! Sweetheart I'm your father of course, as your father I must have those parental instincts.. I always know where you are!" he exclaimed, seemingly proud of this.
"I'm guessing those 'parental instincts' didn't kick in when you stabbed me, huh." you spat with attitude, unafraid to be rude to him with so much sin he's committed.
A sharp static sound came from him, as if in slight shock at the disrespect and comeback you gave. "Watch the attitude young lady, you're still an Altruist you know."
You scoffed, hating at how indifferent you felt about your last name.
"Not by blood though.."
"I raised you, don't forget that." he spat back, starting to get irritated.
"And because of that I owe you?"
"Yes, yes indeed! Smart girl you are."
You scoffed at his response, finally getting the guts to look at him in the face. His appearance frightened you, disgusted you even.
Is this truly the man that raised you?
"As a matter of fact, I actually don't." you crossed your arms in annoyance and a huff. Your eyes couldn't help but to slowly drift to off to the people behind him and you see fellow angels you know continue to stare in awe or fear, of course at Alastor. With all eyes on you and mostly him it made you feel a little embarrassed. You cowered down a bit and your wings went over your head and shoulders a bit as if to hide you behind a 'curtain' of sorts.
Alastor obviously noticed this, but could care less about the stares.
You sighed, "Look, Alasto--"
"I think you mean to call me 'father'." he interrupted as he obviously seemed a bit sassy about it. "Even 'dad' is just simply fine and dandy with me!"
"No, I can't," you frowned, wishing you could "I won't. Not after what you did to me, to that man that night, and to every other poor soul you hurt."
Your face slowly scrunched up in disgust "You don't deserve my forgiveness, my mercy."
In embarrassment and feeling tears want to shed you grabbed your drink and got up to walk out, before you could get past Alastor though he grabbed your wrist harshly.
"Uh-- hey.. let go--"
"I didn't mean to do what I did, my dove." His voice turned into a weird version of gentle, almost uncharacteristically gentle. "I never intended to take your life away."
He sounded genuine.
Could he?.. Would he?..
Maybe, just maybe--
"No." you spat, "Maybe you didn't mean to hurt me, but you definitely meant to hurt others. That's something I can't forgive and I'm sure your victims wouldn't neither." you glared at him, setting your foot down.
"I refuse to call you my father, not until I know that you repent for your sins but knowing you I highly doubt that." You snatched your wrist away and for a slight second you stopped caring about what others thought when they'd see this
"Besides, you killed me two weeks after I turned eighteen.. don't even include the years that passed since the 30s and present time so clearly you can't control me anymore old man."
But Alastor wouldn't go down that fast nor easily.
His sharp smile widened, you felt immense dread.
"Oh little one, no matter how far you are or how much you try to disown me you are forever connected to me.
I made you who you are and you can try to run and fly off however long you want but in the end you're tied to me whether you like it or not. Even in death."
He seemed deathly serious with his statements so much so that you could've sworn you could see his shadow giggling and smirking in a way that seemed even worse and more than evil.
Your breath quietly hitched in fear in noticing this to the point where it even forced you to take a step back. He let out a sinister chuckle before you couldn't help but speed out of the shop and flew out.
You couldn't handle him, he was shameless when showing this side of him.. how could he be this shameless and normal?? How could he act like this and be proud about it? He killed people and doesn't regret it, you being the only exception just didn't feel right and it wasn't fair!
Not to you.
He may have been able to silently control you and vaguely manipulate you to believe he was anything but a bad person back when you were alive and young but now your eyes are wide open and so is your heart.
You have such a bad feeling about this whole thing, he was up to no good he just couldn't be-- he had to be using the princess as an excuse to do something shitty.
Good thing you had plenty of connections, if you just played your cards right...
Hey.. wasn't there something about a court meeting happening soon?
On the other hand Alastor stayed sitting there still chucking devilishly, his intentions and true feelings smeared and unclear.
With a snap of his fingers a cup of black coffee appeared and he began drinking it with a sense of casual glee and eyes closed in delight.
Until he felt eyes on him, two nearby to be exact. He opened one eye to look at the angels staring at him and they both seemed like more biblically accurate angels, both having one eye and all. The radio demon shot them an evil grin.
"Oh adolescents these days, rebellious aren't they." He cackled before going back to drinking his coffee, the angels creeped out by his interaction soon scurried away from him.
The fear. He enjoyed it, just not really from you.
(thank you all who asked for part 2!! of course I had to deliver since you all really wanted it and honestly I love adding flashbacks to memories Alastor and the reader had when they were alive, makes their ending on earth just that more painful (as if it wasn't clear I love angst). Honestly I don't mind making more parts for this! If the demand is consistent and you guys still want to keep up with it I have a few ideas to keep this going! Once again thank you so much for reading!! Now I must finish writing for other stories lolllll!)
(p.s: i highly recommend listening to any mitski song while reading this I think it fits well especially with the flashback scene hehe)
#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel angst#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hellaverse#alastor#alastor platonic#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin spoilers#radio demon#alastor x reader platonic#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel platonic#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel heaven
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BRUTAL
c. sturniolo x fem!reader
summary: Chris got into a fight with his girlfriend Paige and you comforted him until things led to another...
warnings: dom!chris, angst, smut, fingering, degrading kink, make out, pet names, cheating, alcohol, use of y/n, throwing up, toxic relationship.
not proofread!
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You were at a house party that a few friends of the triplets organized. You were near the drinks table with Nick and Madi while Matt, Chris, and his girlfriend Paige were on the other side of the house. The thing is that you’re drunk right now and you can't help but stare at Chris, the way he caresses Paige's waist, the way he leans to whisper dirty little things to her, you want that, you want to be the one that he says those things, you want to be the one he can touch, love, crave for.
And it killed you that she was perfect and you felt like you would never be like her.
Little did you know...
“Y/n!” Nick snaps you out of your trance waving a hand across your face.
“Sorry, sorry! What were you saying?” You asked while you kept glaring at Chris’ direction.
“Do you want to play beer pong with us?” He asked once again
You nodded and that's when you saw Chris leaving with Paige upstairs.
Ouch.
This shouldn't be affecting you this much, but it hurts like hell. You can’t even recall when you started to feel this way about him, but it drove you crazy.
“Sure, but I kinda need some water…” And that’s when you felt it, your stomach turning, feeling the lump forming in your throat, this was the moment where your decision to get drunk would make you suffer the consequences for it. Kneeling on the floor, wrapping your arms around your stomach, feeling the acid making you gag, your first instinct was to pick up your cup and throw up on the inside, If you were going to humiliate yourself, the least you could do was to not make a mess on the fucking floor.
Feeling the sensation wear off slightly after literally throwing up your intestines (or at least that’s how it felt) you tried to stand up. Failing miserably, causing Nick and Madi to pick you up and rest your left arm around Nick’s shoulders and your right arm on Madi’s shoulders, trying to carry you to the bathroom as fast as they could.
Chris' POV
I went upstairs with Paige since she needed to talk to me. I think I’ve never felt so anxious in my life as I do right now. That’s when we got there and the conversation in reality was just Paige complaining about a trip I was going on with my brothers in a few days. “I just don’t understand why can’t you stay here with me!” she yelled.
“I already told you a few weeks ago that I’m not canceling another trip with my brothers just because you feel like not letting me go, you’re not my fucking mother to tell me where I can go or not, what I can do or not! Because guess what, Paige, I can do the fuck I want.” I snapped back, making Paige turn around and slap me harshly, leaving a red mark across my cheek.
I held my cheek, not feeling slightly shocked anymore since this started way back ago, I could tell by her face that she regretted it instantly.
“Chris, baby…” she tried to place her hand on the spot where she marked, making me pull away from her touch.
“And now you just gave me more reasons to go on that fucking trip,” I added between sobs, trying to hold back the tears, turning my back to her.
"Please, don't leave me… I can fix this..." She gripped my arm.
"As far as I remember, you mentioned the same thing last time we fought." The resentment showed up in my voice, but I couldn't help it. How could someone so perfect turn into a complete monster? How can someone hurt someone they love?
And when I left the room, I would rather not see her face or hear her voice.
Y/n’s POV
You were in the bathroom throwing up while Madi was making you a ponytail and Nick rubbed your back. This night couldn’t get any worse. “Shit,” Nick murmured as you let your head rest on his shoulder, feeling way better than how you were.
“What?” Madi asked, her voice sounding tense.
“Matt just texted me we’re leaving right now.” You sat up straight, panicking, “What do you mean? I thought we all agreed to go until 1:00 AM…”
He scratches the back of his neck, “Yeah, well, there’s a change of plans.”
You checked your phone, and it was only midnight, “You guys should convince Matt if we can go in 30 minutes?”
They looked at each other and then back at you, “We won’t leave you here, y/n.”
“I’ll be fine, guys don’t need to worry about me.” You smiled at both of them.
Nick shook his head. “I’ll just text Chris to ask him if he can try to convince Matt to let us stay a little longer.” He spoke as he started to type on his phone. “We’re not leaving you here alone, end of the conversation.”
"Alright, Dad," you replied jokingly, having as a response an eye roll from Nick as he was about to laugh.
Thirty minutes had passed, and the three of you were still inside the bathroom waiting for Chris’ answer. “Did he text you already?” You asked as you rinsed your mouth with some mouthwash to get rid of the disgusting sour taste you had.
"Yes, and he's giving me a headache already!" Nick answered as he kept texting back and forth with whom you supposed was Chris, "He won't stop being a fucking baby, and it's bitch complaining to me that Matt keeps insisting that we have to go now."
"Well...maybe we should try to—" You got interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door, you all looked at each other confused.
As you open the door, you see a long-haired brunette and a pair of pretty blue eyes.
It was Chris. His eyes seemed puffy and a little red as if he were crying. “Is Nick here?” Anger was plastered on his face.
That’s when Nick stood up and opened the bathroom door, “What the fuck, Chris? Can’t you do a simple task?” causing Chris to scoff “And you clearly can’t read. I texted you back saying that Matt didn’t give a shit about you guys needing more time. He wants to go now.”
“Did you explain to him that y/n is not feeling well right now?” Nick snapped back, crossing his arms.
Chris rubbed his face with both his hands before scanning your entire face. “Isn’t she okay now?”
“Chris! She could barely walk by herself a few minutes ago, why’s is it so hard for you to do a fucking favor and ask our brother to give us some time?!” Nick answered, his voice rising.
“Because I don’t understand why the fuck you guys need more time, y/n look completely fine, and you’re making a huge fucking deal out of it!” Chris’ voice also got a little louder.
“Because it will be a fucking huge deal when she’s throwing up all over the fucking car!” He shouted.
Chris’ jaw clenched.
“Then why don’t you ask Matt, since it’s such a big deal, huh?”
“Fine, I’ll fucking go and instead you and y/n will stay here while Madi and I sort this out since it’s so difficult for you.” Nick left the bathroom, Madi following his pace as Chris moved out of the way so they could get out.
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to—” Chris shut the door behind him and looked at you, tears forming in his eyes. Your first instinct was to hug him.
He just cried as silently as he could. You guessed that alcohol hits him differently than it does to you. He dragged you closer by wrapping his arms around your waist, and you began to stroke his hair. “Everything’s going to be alright, Chris.”
“No, it’s not, I’m a fucking burden to everybody and,” His sobs getting louder than before. “First, I fought with Paige and now Nick.”
You pulled back to look at his face, pulling his chin up so he could look at you, “You’re not a burden to no one, Chris.” You said, “You’re like the sun, and when the sun comes out, everyone smiles.” You kept talking, caressing his right cheek with your thumb, “Besides, whatever you and Paige fought about was just because she was drunk, it’ll pass.”
He just nodded and then rested his face on the crook of your neck and kept crying a little.
A few minutes had passed, you and Chris were sitting on the bathroom floor, laughing and talking a little.
“You know, If I’m being honest…I kind of envy Paige.” You said while looking up at the ceiling.
“Why?” Chris replied, furrowing his brows slightly
“Because she’s so beautiful and I’m not…” You admitted.
“Well that’s not true, you are really beautiful too.” He looked at you and smiled.
Beautiful, he called you beautiful.
A buzz sound came from Chris’ phone, he picked it up and looked at the screen. “It’s Nick.”
“What he said?”
“Matt accepted to stay a little more.”
“Excellent! This means I can finally get out of this bathroom.” You stood up and fixed your dress a bit, offering a hand to Chris.
He took your hand and stood up, as he was looking at you. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your lips.
And that’s when you noticed how your faces were just inches apart, feeling his breath hitting your face softly. “Chris…”
“Y/n…”
His palms were resting now on your cheeks, your mouths almost touching, “Do you want to kiss me, hm?” He suggested, grazing his lips against yours teasingly, causing you to shiver a little.
Of course, you wanted it, but was it right? Will he regret it? Will you regret it?
Something snapped you back from reality, cold hands running on your lower back down to your ass, gripping it slightly, “I asked you something.” His voice shifted to a demanding tone.
Fuck it.
You crush your lips against his. At first, it was sloppy, both fighting for dominance, he kept his grip on your ass, gripping it harder. Making you gasp.
And that’s when he gets the chance to slide his tongue inside your mouth, taking control of the kiss. Your body pressed against the cold marble sink that was right behind you, his hands now resting on the sides of your hips. Chris picked you up from your thighs and sat you up on the bathroom sink. Lifting your dress to reveal your black laced panties.
His hand snaked down to your inner thigh. His kisses lowered from your mouth to your jaw and then to your neck. His fingers finally got to your heat, your panties soaking wet. “You’re so wet for me.” He whispered, causing you to whimper a bit. He pulled your panties to the side and began to rub in circles your sensitive nub, whimpers coming out of your mouth. Shaking breaths, your hands gripping on the sink, your knuckles getting white.
“You fucking like that, don’t you?” Chris asked through gritted teeth, applying more pressure on your clit. You nodded but that made things worse, “You better use your fucking words, y/n. Or else I’ll stop and leave you all alone.”
“Y-yes, I l-like i-it.” You handled letting out. Chris smirked and kept stroking your clit. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, your head resting against the mirror wall, feeling the wave of pleasure consuming you. “Fuck…”
But then, the pleasure stopped. You opened your eyes and looked at Chris, he was smirking at you while he sucked his fingers, guiding them back to your throbbing pussy. Slipping them inside you, painfully slow. Your walls clench around his fingers, your legs squeezing with each other, a loud gasp coming out from you. Chris began to pick up his pace, thrusting his fingers in and out of you “Just like that, keep making those pretty noises for me like a good girl.” He groaned, intensifying his speed with each thrust.
He looked down where his fingers were working their way to bring you over the edge, you let pornographic moans out of your mouth, giving Chris what he wants.
Control.
“You look so fucking pathetic right now.” He grabbed your chin with his free hand and forced you to see him, his eyes darkened and full of desire. “Don’t you think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me? You fucking slut.” Chris whispered to you, pumping his fingers mercilessly in and out of you. “You wanted this? You wanted me to finger you?”
You nodded desperately, feeling the well-known knot forming inside of you, you were about to come. “I-I’m so c-close,” you mumbled. “What was that?” He gripped your chin tighter. Your hands grasp tighter on the bathroom sink, your climax getting closer and closer with each thrust. “Don’t stop, fuck.” You spat, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt finally getting to the edge.
“I won't.” He replied, getting closer to leave a few hickeys on your collarbone and the crook of your neck. That's when you felt your release “Fuck!” a loud moan coming out from you, your walls clenching around Chris’ fingers. Your juices flooded all over his fingers. Chris took out his fingers, a popping sound as he did. Your chest goes up and down violently, and your breath is heavy.
He looked at his fingers then at you, “Open your eyes, now.” You open your eyes slowly to get the view of Chris cleaning out his fingers until there isn't a single drop of your juices around his fingers. “You taste so fucking good, ma.”
What the fuck was going on tonight.
You were in the backseat with Nick and Madi, gossiping about tonight's party “It was fun.” Nick admitted.
“Yeah, I think I’m not going to parties anymore,” Matt added.
And there was Chris, glancing at you a few times before they left you at your apartment.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow, alright?” You said to them as you waved at them.
You're finally in a quieter place, where you can think about what just happened tonight with Chris.
It finally happened, you finally got what you wanted with Chris and even more.
But it wasn’t enough, you craved for more.
But then, reality hits.
He was still with Paige, and you were just a distraction to him.
Or that’s what you thought until…
You got a text from someone.
It was Chris.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
a/n: not the best one-shots ever but here you go!!! Lmk if there’s any mistakes!
Tag list: @sturniolossss @tillies33ssss @chrisloyalgf @alorsxsturn
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo x reader#Spotify#madi filipowicz#sturniolo smut#smut#one shot#imagine#female reader#angst#chris x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you
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"You're always on my mind"
Joel Miller x f!reader.
summary: You are Joel's reason to live and he is yours.
word count: 3k
warnings: some fluff and heavy angst.
a/n: I'm still on my writing break, but I couldn't take this one out of my head, so you have it here. I don't want to go into details because it would spoil the whole fic, but this is pretty much based on a movie, and by the name and the song, you may get the idea which one is it. Reblogs and comments are appreciated, so please come here and tell me your thoughts. Happy reading 💌
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
Finding such beautiful things in a world like this was not an easy thing to do. In a world like this, there was no spare room for distractions but survival.
In a tarnished world, you were a rose blooming from frozen ground, when neither the coldness of the cryptic winter could end your sweetness.
You were there even when your heart broke at the sight of him, defeated and lost without his Sarah; without the tiny baby he raised, he died in his arms that night of September.
You were there when he became cold, and Machiavellian, a distant ghost of the sweet man with the gleamy brown eyes that smiled at you without a warning, was just off and gone.
And you were broken for him, anxious and afraid of him letting his life go away because the pain of tightening his chest might have been stronger than his love for you.
He was hurting you by hurting himself, and he knew it. He knew he was hurting you; he was aware of the pain he was causing just by looking at your somber gaze, lost in state. Yet he couldn't care or see beyond his own pain. He had lost his daughter and his baby, and he was losing you as you slipped through his fingers.
He had tried to end his life, but he failed. He was going to leave you behind, and he didn’t think about it. He had decided he was going to die and find solace in the thought that he would be reunited with his daughter in a peaceful world while leaving you in a tarnished reality full of monsters and nightmares. Alone with your fears and pain suffocating your lungs. Alone, just by yourself, as if he wasn't the only reason you had to survive.
After the bullet rubbed the skin of his temple, you became silent. You weren’t able to look at the scar marked on his skin, let alone look at his eyes.
And Joel’s heart was constricted against his ribs. Once he failed, he woke up from his trance, and he became aware that he hadn’t been looking after you as he should, but you were silent and you were on his mind.
You weren’t talking, but he knew you were broken because of him.
One day, you were coughing, and Joel's heart contracted against his ribs, and his breath stopped as he listened to your complaints.
"You're sick," he said, looking at you, pacing angrily at him mostly.
Silence.
"You should drink water or
"Or one of those things is going to come after us, I know," you replied without giving a look.
“Do you want to get yourself?"
"Killed? Yes, maybe I do want that." Your voice was motionless, as your eyes kept staring at the flames from the fire flying away to the sky.
"Don't you ever say that; you hear me?"
Silence, defeating silence.
"Answer when I talk to you, please.” He looked for a glimpse of the spark that used to adorn your gaze. Joel's voice trembled with emotion as he stepped closer to you.
"You can't give up," he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.
You turned away from him, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. The fire crackled softly in the background, casting flickering shadows across the walls of your makeshift shelter.
“You were going to give up,” you whispered once you weren’t facing him.
Joel's heart sank at your words, the weight of them heavy in the air between you. He reached out a hand, hesitating, before gently resting it on your shoulder.
"I... I know," he admitted, his voice barely audible over the crackling of the fire. "I was lost. I was so consumed by my own pain that I couldn't see beyond it. But seeing you... seeing how much I've hurt you... it's woken me up."
You felt his touch, gentle over your skin, but you couldn't bring yourself to face him. The wounds were still raw, and the pain was too fresh.
"I'm sorry," Joel whispered, his voice filled with remorse. "I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I promise to do better. To be better."
Silence hung heavy between you, but it wasn't the suffocating silence of before. It was a silence tinged with possibility and the hope of redemption.
Slowly, tentatively, you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign of sincerity.
"You tried to kill yourself, Joel!" You called out "You are in pain, but I am too! Sarah was mine too; maybe not by blood, but she was my daughter too." You sobbed, not being able to contain the tears from spilling. "You were going to leave me alone. Here and-"
He cut you off by pressing his lips against you, expressing all the love he held on his chest and on his whole body for you.
"I love you; I love you; I love you," he murmured against your lips, recomforting, "I'm sorry."
As Joel's lips met yours, a flood of emotions washed over you: love, sorrow, forgiveness, and hope. His kiss was a silent confession, a promise to be there for you, to fight alongside you, no matter what challenges lay ahead.
Tears mingled with the warmth of his embrace as you melted into his arms, feeling the weight of the world begin to lift from your shoulders. In that moment, you realized that, despite the pain and the struggles, there was still beauty to be found in the love you shared.
"I love you too," you whispered against his lips, your voice trembling with emotion. "I forgive you."
Joel pressed his forehead against yours, holding your face in his palms with such a delicate touch. "We keep each other alive," he murmured.
"We keep each other alive," you echoed softly, the weight of his words sinking in.
He kept the promise. He would live for you, and you would live for him; you were each other's reason to stay alive in a mad world.
With time, he let his guard down. Settling in a place like Jackson, in a world like this, it seemed like a dream and a nightmare at the same time. There were people laughing, wearing nice clothes, and sleeping under a safe roof, and yes, it was nice, but Joel didn't want the conformity to ruin his careful routine.
But he couldn't help it. It was impossible to resist his sights in the mornings when the first rays of sunshine peeked through the window, directly at you on your side of the bed. He was astonished by you, by the effortless beauty of your creases and your ends, by your peaceful demeanor, next to the warmth he would provide.
While his achy bones and silver hair reminded him that he was getting old, you looked the same, as if time and pain never took their toll on you.
"You always do that," you murmured, your voice drained from sleep.
"Do what?" was his question, smiling.
"Staring," you blinked your eyes open, trying to wash your sleep away. "It's creepy"
"I love watching you sleep, so I can remember what you thought the day was."
You chuckled; the sound resonated in Joel's ears.
"Sorry if it creeps you out," Joel said, his smile softening. "I just... I can't help it. You're beautiful, even when you're asleep."
You rolled your eyes playfully, reaching out to tousle his hair affectionately. "You're such a sap, Joel."
He laughed, leaning into your touch. "Maybe I am. But I mean it. You're the reason I’m alive.”
Your smile dropped. “Don’t say that.”
Joel's expression softened, realizing he may have touched a sensitive nerve. He gently took your hand in his, his eyes searching yours with sincerity.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly. "But it's true. You've been my anchor through the storm, the light in the darkness. Without you, I don't know where I'd be."
A tiny smile graced your lips as you looked at him, studying his face, the creases on his forehead, and the silver hair growing. Time had hurt Joel, but it made him look beautiful to your eyes, and you felt a sadness within your body.
“What do you want to do today?” Joel asked, smiling at you.
You took a moment to compose yourself, letting Joel's words sink in before responding. Despite the weight of his declaration, you knew his love for you was genuine, and it filled you with warmth.
"I don't know," you replied, returning his smile. "Maybe we could take a walk around the town? It's been a while since we've explored together."
Joel nodded in agreement, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "That sounds like a great idea. It'll be nice to spend some time outside, away from these walls.”
Joel didn't like how people ignored him. His protective instincts kicked in as he noticed the way some people in the town seemed to ignore your presence. He tightened his grip on your hand in a gesture of solidarity and support. Even though he knew that you were the only one who could see him, he couldn't bear to see you being overlooked and dismissed by others.
“You seemed tense,” you joked, nudging his neck with your nose as you walked.
Joel couldn't help but chuckle softly at your attempt to lighten the mood, grateful for your ability to find humor even in difficult situations.
“Yeah, well, I hate how people look at me as if I were," he replied, his voice tinged with warmth as he squeezed your hand gently.
“You know why,” you whispered, mostly to yourself.
His gaze lingered on you for a moment before turning his attention back to the path ahead.
Just then, Tommy noticed Joel walking and approached him with a friendly smile.
"Hey, Brother! Where are you off to?" Tommy called out, his voice breaking through the silent atmosphere in Joel’s little world.
Joel glanced at Tommy, offering a small smile in return. "Just taking a walk," he replied, gesturing the way.
Tommy's smile widened as he nodded, noticing Joel’s cheerful humor. "Nice to see you out and about.” He downed his head for a moment. “Are you okay, right?”
Joel looked at Tommy for a moment, waiting for the words to come out of his lips: “Better than ever.”
"Yeah, Tommy, I'm doing alright," Joel replied, his voice laced with false cheerfulness. "Just enjoying the day."
Tommy nodded, though a hint of skepticism flickered in his eyes. "Good to hear, Joel. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me."
With that, Tommy bid them farewell, leaving Joel to grapple with the weight of his secret once more. As they resumed their walk, Joel couldn't shake the feeling of isolation that gnawed at him, knowing that no matter how much he longed for connection,.
“Don’t be mad. He’s just worried,” you said, picking up on Joel’s behavior.
Joel sighed softly, grateful for your understanding and support. He knew you were right; Tommy meant well, and his concern was genuine. Yet the weight of his secret still pressed heavily on Joel's shoulders, a constant reminder of the barrier that separated him from the rest of the world.
"I know," Joel murmured, his voice tinged with sadness. "I just wish I could... I’m the big brother.”
You squeezed his hand reassuringly, offering a silent gesture of comfort. Joel found solace in your presence, in the way you understood him without needing words.
"I'm lucky to have you," Joel whispered, his gaze softening as he looked at you.
You smiled at him, not speaking more words, and you continued your walk together, hand in hand.
Once you were outside the walls of Jackson, you led the way. As Joel noticed the surroundings, his apprehension grew with each step. Memories of that fateful day flooded his mind—the pain, the fear, and the aftermath.
"I don't like this place," he said, his voice tinged with apprehension as he halted abruptly in his tracks.
You turned to face him, noting the five-foot gap that separated you. "Please, “you implored, your fingertips gently caressing his cheeks. His eyes closed, savoring the warmth against his skin, oblivious to the tears welling up.
"Love," he murmured, his voice trailing off.
“Please, tell me you still have that sweet love inside you," you pleaded, still tracing delicate patterns on his face.
"You know I don’t," he finally answered, his voice breaking mid-sentence.
As the warmth of your touch withdrew, he opened his eyes, meeting yours with a mixture of fear and longing. Tears shimmered in your eyes, and Joel felt his heart clench.
"It's been a year, Joel," you whispered, but he shook his head, unwilling to accept your words.
"You need to let me go," you urged gently.
"I can't. I don't want to," he replied, his voice thick with emotion.
Your heart ached as you listened to Joel's words, knowing the depth of his pain and longing. You wished you could ease his suffering; you wished you could erase the sorrow that weighed so heavily on his shoulders. But you also knew that holding on to the past would only prolong his agony.
"Joel," you said softly, reaching out to cup his face in your hands once more.
“I can’t,” he repeated. “This is the only way I can have you,” his tears falling down his checks.
"I can't just let you go," Joel protested, his voice trembling with the weight of his emotions. "I was so happy that you were mine.”
Your eyes softened with understanding, yet they were also filled with a profound sadness. "I know it's hard, Joel. But holding onto me like this is only hurting you more. You deserve to find peace."
Joel's gaze faltered, torn between the desire to cling to the memory of you and the need to find a way to heal. His heart ached with the unbearable emptiness that consumed him, a void that seemed impossible to fill.
"I don't know how to live without you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
You reached out, gently taking his hand in yours, offering him a silent anchor amidst the storm of his emotions. "You don't have to do it alone, Joel. Let me be a part of your memories, but also let yourself live for the present."
Tears welled up in Joel's eyes, his resolve crumbling beneath the weight of your words. Slowly, hesitantly, he nodded, a flicker of hope stirring within his heart.
“Close your eyes,” you told him, grabbing the same hand you had put on the wedding band the day you got married, when the world hadn’t ended.
As Joel closed his eyes, a sense of calm washed over him, knowing that whatever was to come, he was not alone. He felt the warmth of your touch and the gentle pressure of your hand in his, and he let himself be enveloped by the love and comfort you offered.
With a trembling breath, you began to speak, your voice soft yet filled with emotion. "Joel," you whispered, your words carrying the weight of a lifetime of love and memories. "I want you to know how much you meant to me and how deeply I loved you."
Tears streamed down Joel's cheeks as he listened, hanging onto every word and every syllable that passed your lips. He felt his heart ache with bittersweet longing, the pain of losing you mingling with the warmth of your love.
"You were my everything, Joel," you continued, your voice breaking with the intensity of your emotions. "And even though I'm not physically with you anymore, I will always be a part of you, guiding you and watching over you."
Joel's grip tightened around your hand, his chest constricting with a mixture of grief and gratitude. "I love you," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.
And then, as you finished speaking, Joel felt a shift in the air—a gentle breeze that seemed to carry your presence away. He opened his eyes, expecting to see you standing there before him, but to his dismay, you were gone.
"No," Joel whispered, his voice echoing through the empty space around him. "Don't leave me."
But there was no response, no comforting touch to reassure him. You were gone, leaving behind only the memories and an ache in Joel's heart that would never truly heal. And as he stood there, alone in the silence,.
Ever since that tragic day, when you had died while patrolling with Joel, he had been unable to escape the relentless grip of grief. It was a stupid accident, one he could have prevented if he had been faster, but he wasn't, and he was paying the price.
Right now, every moment and every breath seem to echo with your absence. He had held himself to the memories of your laughter, your touch, and your presence by his side. Everywhere he turned, he saw traces of you. You were there, and he could touch you, but now your goodness fades away with the air. He longed for the comfort of your embrace, the warmth of your smile, and the sound of your voice calling out his name.
But there was silence. He turned around, and with the heaviness in his heart and tears spilling down his checks, he walked back alone to Jackson. This time, there was no reminder of you by his side. Tears blurred Joel's vision as he trudged along the familiar path, the memories of that day replaying in his mind like a relentless nightmare.
But no amount of regret or self-blame could bring you back, and Joel knew that he would have to find a way to carry on without you by his side.
And so, with a heavy heart and tears still streaming down his cheeks, Joel resolved to carry on, to face each day with courage and determination, knowing that even though you were gone, your love would always be with him.
You were always on his mind.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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I understand personal preference and that some people just don't like ships with men, and that's ok! but I'm annoyed at the implication from some fans that labru has less depth as a relationship than farcille or any other wlw ship in dungeon meshi, and the idea that people are only shipping it as a joke, or because they're horny, or because they're misogynistic and don't want to look at female characters, etc etc. I've seen people call it like, "bloodlust obsession that turns to horniness" and it made me realize that the people who don't ship labru don't understand their dynamic at all. labru shippers didn't just pull this out of our asses lol
a lot of the story around kabru involves how he and laios are perfect opposites of eachother. NARRATIVE FOILS, if you will. everywhere kabru thrives (social interaction, charisma, the surface) laios completely fails. and everywhere that laios is most successful (in the dungeon against monsters) kabru keeps getting killed. not only that but their desires are mirrors of each other too: laios grew up bullied by humans and wanted to become a monster, kabru grew up dehumanized by his villagers and then the elves, so he wants to affirm his identity as a human being.
despite how kabru should be repulsed by laios due to his hatred of monsters, he's drawn to him instead. kabru spends the entire story trying to get to laios to talk to him and to get to know him. firstly he knows laios is closest to defeating the dungeon lord and needs to sus out if he's a good person, but he admits that he really wants to be friends with laios too, not just to determine his virtue but to see what value laios sees in monsters. he wants laios to share his interest in people, he wants laios to be interested in him back. kabru never had any true bloodlust or desire to kill laios, he was prepared to go that far if laios wasn't a good person, but once finding out that he has good intentions kabru spends all his energy trying to help laios instead. and when you consider that kabru spent his childhood believing he was half monster because of how he was ostracized in utaya, his curiosity about how laios could possibly love monsters feels so much more personal.
and for laios, he's not used to anyone taking an interest in him. people are constantly telling him he's weird, and the person he believed to be his best friend told him he couldn't stand him. he misses falin so dearly because she thinks he's the coolest man on earth, so meeting someone and being told "I hate monsters but I still want to know YOU" would have an impact on him, I think. in postcanon they become good friends, kabru becomes laios' right hand man to help him with more of the dicey social aspects of being a leader. laios asks him to stay by his side and help him, and kabru says "yeah, that's what I've been doing this whole time"
I wouldn't claim that a romantic relationship between them is CANON, but I wouldn't even say that about farcille either tbh (and I love farcille just as much so don't come for me lol) this isn't a comedy crackship that yaoi fans just made up. laios and kabru are really multi dimensional characters and they're made to reflect eachother in every way, even down to their physical design. so it's not out of nowhere that people ship them
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