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#and julian fell in love with him because of course he did

totally-not-here-for-the-smut · 9 months

Note

would love to hear how the M6 handle an apprentice with a hypersomnia disorder 💛💛 someone who struggles with a lot of excessive sleepiness but really tries to push through it

Oooh, thanks for the prompt, I love it! As you didn't specify the spicy level, I'll assign ♤♡◇♧ randomly to the characters

Cracking my knuckles because it's something that hits home// The spicyness key is ◇neutral/random/funny,♡romantic/physical affection, ♧fluff/light smut,♤big dongs

So here it comes ~~~

~The hypersomniac apprentice~

~♡~

As soon as you open up to her about it, Nadia has you treated for your sleep disorder right away. Julian is sent for, and he has your treatment started by having you to keep a diary to track your sleeping, eating and exercising habits, dreams, mood, and of course any periodic cycles you may have. When he gave you the little red-line notebook, you saw an idea twinkling in Nadia's eyes, but forgot to investigate further. Shortly after, you started noticing that the palace staff you interact the most all had a tiny jade-green, golden ruled notebook with them. You wanted to ask her about it this afternoon while having tea on the veranda, but you had one of your hypersomnia episodes. When you wake up, Nadia brushes your hair from your sleepy face, greeting you with a smile. "I hope your sleep has been refreshing", she says, "in the meantime, I kept some notes for you". She handles you one of those little green notebooks that is filled, to you surprise, with little useful notes about what were you two talking about it, your immediate future agenda, the time you spent asleep and a little recap of everything that has happened.

You meet her loving gaze, speechless. "I recall how embarrassing was to ask people to fill me in on what happened during my long sleep", she explains. "I felt so cut out on the world, confused and distressed". She brushes your hand. "I made sure you will never feel as lost as I did".

~◇~

You really did try to push through this episode. Lucio looked so caught up in the game you were playing, so genuinely happy. You didn't want to let him down... but you see, trying to push through hypersomnia is awful it truly is folks, worst thing and hardly possible. Your eyelids are heavy and your neck isn't holding your head anymore. You try to rest your head against the sofa to avoid the telltale head-falling...

...but when you wake up you realize it wasn't a good idea. The lights are down, the room empty, and Lucio...? Nowhere to be seen. Your heart shrinks with guilt. You will have to apologize to him.

"Not many people know this, but Lucio has troubles sleeping. Eventually, the weight of his deeds fell upon him, robbing him of his sleep. At the beginning he started using narcotics to fall asleep, but Julian caught him immediately and made sure to put a hasty end on the dangerous habit.

Now Lucio slips into your bedroom with some dumb excuse ("thought you wanted some water" "hey, I had this WILD dream" "I'm horny") just to lay with you as you fall asleep. Watching your serene face as you sleep helps him to soothe his sleepless nights and find some kind of peace."

If you weren't so worried about letting him down, you would have put the pieces together and understood why he let you sleep -why he always lets you sleep.

~◇~

Portia knows about it, and find it so damn cute! Being the little mischievous fairy she is, she always puts you into situations where you will have troubles staying awake. This includes

getting the two of you seat for the opera in Nadia's box -this means you're next to her- and exchange giggling gazes with Asra. The three of you are the perfect partner in crime, but little did you know that you are their favorite victim.

Going stargazing with you and Muriel -he tells the BEST constellation tales and she knows that you love them and would give the world to stay awake - but joke's on her this time, for Muriel adores when his voices coddle you to sleep

Inviting you gardening in warm afternoons after some rich lunch, where she has an hard times refraining from laughing at your attempts to resist the sleep.

Today though, you realize she's doing it on purpose. In your hand there's a bunch of drawings she did of your cutest sleeping poses -they're on napkins, reciepts, grocery lists and god forbid Portia is this book from Nadia's library?!

~~~~~~~♧♤♧~~~~~~

I'll put the spicier ones (Julian, Muriel, Asra) in a reblog [THIS ONE] I'll flag as adult content :) you can alway find them from the Masterlist

Disclaimer: please remember that hypersomnia is a legit disorder that should be addressed by any means you have at hand. Don't get fooled by the "manageable" face it has: it may be caused by many underlying issues, from moderate avoidant anxiety to much more serious things. There's nothing wrong with choosing to live with it or thinking it's cute (i have it and i do), but if you do experience it, love yourself and investigate its causes! Remember, as an human being you're entitled to health.

#the arcana #the arcana game #nadia satrinava #nadia the arcana #countess nadia #asra the magician #arcana fanfic #julian devorak #the arcana smut #muriel arcana #lucio x mc #lucio morgasson #portia devorak #arcana muriel #muriel smut

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to-the-stars8 · 10 days

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If you do song inspired fics could i pretty please with a cherry on top have fem MC x beautiful doctor Julian inspired by Too sweet - Hozier

Me falling head first back into the arcana fandom has happened at the same time as me rediscovering my love for Hozier and that song just gives me such Julian vibes for some reason

I hope you have a lovely weekend 💘

(PS your other Julian fic made me want to rip my own heart out and stomp on it so i applaud you)

My job, as an author, anon, is to make sure I break your heart every once in a while so I am happy to hear my job was well done lol! And now is no different! This came out kind of angsty because of my interpretation of the song, hopefully, it's somewhat what you were looking for! I do hope to hear if you liked it, my love! Also thank you for reading my story, and hope you have a lovely/fantastic weekend yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I digress, so here is your lovely story!

You believed Julian Devorak was an easy man to read. That, despite all the times he would say he was a dangerous deviant, the truth always revealed that he was a good person. Troubled? Of course, but there were few people you knew who could not say the same. Perhaps it was the rough way he lived or the stories he would tell you that made you yearn for him. Endless were the nights where you stared at the ceiling recalling moments with him that seemed too real to be written off as mere fantasies. In these moments, you would call him by another name, “Ilya.” You liked the way it danced off your tongue and how sweet it tasted.

One day, when Asra had left for another one of his adventures, Julian had entered the shop. You were nervous and ecstatic all at the same time. The night before you had gathered the courage to finally reveal how you felt about him, and this was the opportunity that fell right into your lap.

Closing the shop, you ushered him to the kitchen with a smile. He sat at the table, looking intently at the wood, before asking how your day was. Smiling, you said, “Very well! I have gotten so much done this morning. You’ve arrived just in time, too, I was just about to have lunch. Are you hungry?”

Julian shook his head, and you noted that he seemed a bit quiet himself. You tried to not let the silence tug at your nervousness before turning your attention to making some tea instead. You felt more at ease with your hands busy.

Despite the busy hands, you could feel butterflies erupt in your stomach so you finally blurted out how you felt. It was a rush of words that tumbled into one long, hardly cohesive sentence. All thoughts about lunch and tea were forgotten.

“I…I like you, Julian,” You said, finally finishing. “Very much so.”

When Julian looked at you, he saw memories that he could not quite place—Back when he was a different man. A better man. These memories, if he could even call them that since fantasy and reality had become muddled over the years, were sweet. He recalled a night with your skin against his, breathing each other in as if there were only you two in the world. Every time he closed his eyes to recall it, his heart ached for the feeling again. Yet, he couldn’t seek it out.

As much as he was in love with the evocation, he could not drag you down into this whiskey-neat life of his. It might have been nice on the tongue for a while, but, ultimately, it was the type of influence he would not put anyone else under. You were good. Too good. Your personality was like candy, sweet to the core with an even more rich innermost part. Years had passed and, along with parts of the past, he couldn’t recall the days he lived now. All Ilya knew was that his nights were late, filled with the taste of bitter liqueur, and his days spent trying to recall what or who he had done.

So, when you stood before him, eyes filled with intoxicating sweetness, with words of love dripping from your lips he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Did he lead you on somehow? Lull you into a false sense of goodness that made him worthy of any of your affection? You were too good for him, high on the good parts of life, and he had no plans to change into that any time soon.

“I’m…erm,” Julian tried to clear his throat to get the words out. He saw the way your face fell, and it broke his heart. “I’m sorry.”

You turned away, hands going to the teapot on the stove, voice shaky, you replied, “I…I understand.”

Julian could hear that you didn’t believe your words, so he got up to make you look at him. There were tears in your eyes and Ilya wiped them away with his thumbs.

Trying to smile, he explained himself. “Erm, uh, how do I say this?” After another moment, Julian decided it would be best to just get out rather than try to be nice about it. “Damn it, you deserve the world, beauty, and I do not wish to burden that comfortable world of yours.”

You stepped back, eyes looking everywhere but at him. Thinning your lips, you finally looked at him. “What makes you think you would be a burden?”

“Love, look how you live, it’s comfortable. Magical, truthfully. How I live is, uh, nothing of the sort. You wouldn’t want to have such a life,” He said.

“I would,” You were quick to say. “If it was with you, Ilya, I would.”

Ilya, the way you said his name was a candy he could get addicted to. Shaking his head in an attempt to get the thought of you out, he decided it would be best to double down on the decision—whether or not it broke your heart or his.

Finally, when you had enough of his explanation, you refused to let him speak anymore. Somehow, he found that worse than if you had told him you didn’t have feelings for him at all. Still, he relented since it was exactly what he had asked for. It was bitter-sweet to part with you in such a way. He could continue to drown his sorrows until dawn, and you could wake at that time without a worry about him.

When the door to the shop closed behind him, Julian looked at the Vesuvian streets and decided quickly it would be a night he would drown in a pint, just as the night before.

#the arcana #julian devorak x reader #julian x apprentice #julian x mc #julian devorak #the arcana asra #the arcana mc #julian the arcana #asra alnazar #angst #asks #anon asks

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footy-fictionist · 1 year

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Is this it? - Julian Brandt

Pairing: Julian Brandt x female Schlotterbeck reader, Nico Schlotterbeck x sister reader, Karim Adeyemi x ex-girlfriend reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of fear of commitment/abandonment, reader is a student, little bit of fluff, nervousness, mentions of the game against Leipzig

Word count: 1281

Note: If this one works well, I will post more parts for this. As always, English is not my first language. I do not know any of the players personally, this is completely fictional. Let me know what you think, should there be a part 2 and maybe 3? Please do not copy or publish my work, reblogging is fine!

She swore off footballers after one of them broke her heart. She had been in a relationship with Karim for almost a year, when she found out he was cheating on her. He was her brother’s best friend and she had to convince Nico to forgive Karim, not being able to forgive herself if they wouldn’t be friends anymore. Even if that wasn’t something that would be seen as her fault, since it was Karim that screwed up big time. But for her it meant not going to games anymore and cutting off all the footballer friends she had made. She had to process everything and get over Karim before even considering going to a game and seeing other footballers again.

Nico understood and never forced his sister to go anywhere. Everyone loved her though, so they were all a bit cold towards Karim the second they found out that she wasn’t going to be around anymore. Especially Julian, he was livid when he found out what Karim did. He would never admit it to anyone else, but he fell in love with her the second he met her. But he never showed it, because he would never try and ruin her happiness. He settled on just being her friend instead. If she was happy with Karim, he would accept that. He never expected her to cut off all contact and it hurt him more than he expected.

It is the reason why it took him a long time to warm up to Karim again. Everyone else let it go once they saw that Nico didn’t take any further action. But Julian still held his grudge. It took weeks to warm up to Karim again and even then it was only small steps at a time.

It took her a few months to get over Karim. She enjoyed having almost zero contact with football, even if she missed some of the friends she made. She could completely focus on school and didn’t have any other distractions. Of course she watched the games for Nico, but she didn’t participate in anything else. She didn’t expect one footballer to jump back into her life though.

It was another day of classes and in the early morning she went to get her coffee at her favourite café in Dortmund. It was small but cozy and they knew her order by heart. After getting her drink, she thanks the barista before leaving the café, only to bump into someone. She manages to not spill anything but stumbles a little. The person helps stabilize her and she looks up to thank them. Only to find the eyes of Julian Brandt. The second they lock eyes, both of them send each other a bright smile. She puts her coffee on the small table that’s outside the café and immediately wraps her arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around her waist.

“Oh my gosh Jule, I didn’t expect to see you here! I’m sorry for bumping into you, but also not sorry for bumping into you! How are you?”

Julian is thanking his lucky stars for bumping into her. He answers her whilst still holding her in his arms. They pull away and just talk for a few minutes. That is until she checks the time and sees she’s running late to class. She goes to say goodbye, but Julian can’t let her get away again, not now that he’s had contact with her again.

“Please, please don’t cut contact again. I miss you.” He knows he sounds a little desperate, but he can’t help it. He won’t lose her again.

“I promise Jule. I didn’t realize it till I just bumped into you, but I really missed you too. A lot. I’ll text you. I have to go now, but I promise.”

And she does. The second she’s sat in her class she’s texting him. And it’s the restart of their friendship. Soon enough they’re talking everyday, both of them happy to have this much contact again. Smiles on their faces, that no one can get rid off. Nico asks her about the way she smiles at her phone, she just smiles at Nico and doesn’t really give him an answer. But it doesn’t bother him, because whoever it is, they’ve brought back the sparkle in her eyes.

With Julian it shows in the way he plays on the field. He’s back to the skill level everyone was used to when he played for Leverkusen. He’s probably even better than he was back then. And she always finds a way to congratulate him on the way he played. He never saw her at the games though, but that is something he wanted to change. Not just the seeing her there part, but who she was supporting. But instead of just asking her, he sent her a box in the hope she’d understand what he was asking. A box with his jersey and a ticket to the game against Leipzig. The box arrived at her apartment whilst Nico was there with her.

She didn’t expect a package but opened it nonetheless. She gasped when she saw the contents of the box, only making Nico curious. Whilst she was still processing what she saw and what Julian was asking, Nico looked into the box. When he saw the jersey with Brandt on the back, his eyebrows almost touched his hairline. So this was who was making her smile all the time, she got back into contact with Julian. And from the contents of this box, it wasn’t just regular contact.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

The question confuses her a little, as she’s still processing what Julian is asking of her. But then she realizes Nico is with her and that he just looked into the box. Her cheeks start to burn and she starts stuttering, trying to explain. Nico just smiles at her softly, knowing that she was scared. Scared to admit that she likes Julian, scared to get back into a relationship with one of his teammates. Scared of what he, their family and everyone else would say.

“You know you don’t have to worry about me when it comes to things like this. I’ll give him hell if he hurts you, but if you like or love him, I won’t hold you back.”

She didn’t think Nico could make her cry over something like this. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted this, especially not after what happened with Karim. So she threw her arms around her brothers’ neck and started crying a little.

“I’m scared. What if he does, what Karim did? What if he ends up breaking my heart? I don’t think I can go through it a second time. I don’t care about Karim anymore, but what if this all backfires.”

So all Nico could do was hold her and try soothing her. He reassures her about everything, that even if it did happen, she wouldn’t be alone. But he didn’t think it would happen. He’s seen the way Julian looked at her when she was still with Karim. He knew back then that Julian was in love with her. No matter how bad he felt about it, he thought Julian was a better fit for her then Karim. So when Karim broke her heart, he was pissed, but also not surprised. He knew Karim wouldn’t be the one for her. So to see that she got back into contact with the boy that has loved her for ages and him finally shooting his shot, made Nico happy.

“So, what are you gonna do? Will you accept what he’s asking of you?”

Part 2?

#julian brandt x reader #julian brandt x female reader #julian brandt imagine #julian brandt one shot #julian brandt fanfic #football imagine #football imagines #football one shot

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sscrambledmeggss · 1 year

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My acitw kinda hot take, is that I don’t want Cooper and Julian to end up together. Not because I don’t like them together, or I think they are a bad couple. It’s just it would be so thematically beautiful for them to not.

acitw is all about change (I mean it’s in the title, it’s what the first paragraph is about LOL), it’s about how things change, and sometimes you don’t even realize it unless you’re looking back. Kurt throughout acitw realizes that he’s changing, and that maybe Blaine isn’t the right person for him. Not because somehow Sebastian might be, but because Kurt is now a different person from the person Blaine fell in love with, they grew up, and it’s nobodies fault.

So like imagine, Cooper and Julian have been pinning for each for seven years. The idea of their old selves. They basically did what Klaine did during the summer, just unwilling for seven years. They love who they once were. And of course they will still care about each other, but maybe just not in that way. Maybe after all these seven years, they just aren’t who they once were, and that’s okay. And then they finally get closure on that coffee shop meeting. Idk

#idk if this makes sense or if anyone cares LOL #but I just think that Cooper and Julian not ending up together would be amazing story telling wise 😭😭#and yes I’m rereading acitw so that’s what this is about #I’m sorry I’m having acitw thoughts again LOL #i love this fic <3 #kurtbastian #meg’s incoherent thoughts #acitw #kurt hummel #Julian Smythe #cooper anderson #<- how would I tag this 🤨#tagging Kurt because he and blaine are a big part of this #but not tagging blaine or Klaine since it’s a kb fic #juliper #<- that was their ship name right? 😭#Ty to anyone that read this LOL

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julians-rum-and-coke · 11 months

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Hey pal if you’re still doing requests (no worries if not!) could I perhaps have a fluffy fic where the reader comforts Julian and patches up his injuries after he comes home from some sort of fight or situation? 👉👈

of course!!

You were sitting on the couch, watching something on TV and eating a little something for dinner, when you heard a knock at your door. You open it to find Julian standing there with a black eye, scratches, and bruises all on him. You expected him to show up that evening, but not like this.

"Oh my god, what happened?" You asked him, leading him inside your trailer to sit on the couch.

"I got into a little fight a few minutes ago and it got worse than I thought." Julian winced at the pain he felt while trying to move his arm.

"Who did you fight with?" You asked, making him an ice pack with frozen peas and a towel, then topping his drink off. He put the ice pack on his head, where he was hurting the most.

"Cyrus." He responded hesitantly, looking at you, worried you'd be upset, since you told Julian to stay away from him because you don't want him getting hurt.

"Did you at least beat him?" You asked, now sitting beside him, comforting him.

"Of course I did, I don't have all these muscles for nothing." He smiled, looking at you.

"Mhm..." You smiled.

"Of course, they're for you, too." Julian gave you a kiss and pulled you closer to him, despite his arm being in pain.

"That's what I thought." You teased, snuggling up to him. He watched TV with you until he decided it was time to take a shower.

Luckily, he had some of his clothes over at your trailer, so he found those and took a quick shower. Once he was dressed, you opened the door and looked at all his bruises and scratches. Nothing looked too horrible, so no bandages this time.

Before bed, you lit up a joint. "Here, maybe this will help," You said, passing it to him. He hit it a few times, snuggling closer to you as the two of you got high.

"Goodnight, Y/N, I love you," Julian kissed you goodnight and fell asleep fairly quick, keeping you snuggled close to him.

"I love you, Julian. Goodnight," You replied, kissing him goodnight and turning the lamp off.

#trailer park boys #julian tpb

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tetsunabouquet · 2 months

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Heir To The Lands Chapter 28

Thoughts About the Future and Thoughts About the Past Masterpost

Dru walked to the booth where a Faerie had pointed her too, the new adres of Ragnor Fell. She approached the stall and was alarmed with the items being sold. From rare talismans to spellbooks on wards. It was a warlock booth dedicated to protective magic and not the scam artist kind. In the blink of an eye, the door behind the stall opened with green little sparks. Dru immediately went for the opening and found Ragnor Fell walking down the staircase, a grim look on his face. "From the Blackthorn look of you, I take it your Tiberius' sister. Welcome." "Look, as much as I'd like to give you an earfull for enabling Ty back then, Livvy's spirit did came with valuable information which is how I got stuck here. Can you help me get back to the Shadowhunters Academy in Exile? As in, sneak me in through a portal to my room?" Ragnor looked at her knowingly, "You came using the tunnel from Faerie at that S-bahn station haven't you?" "I think so." Ragnor rubbed his temples. "And once again Shadowhunter teenagers are at the middle of the brewing storm. Why is it always a bunch of students aged Nephilim?" Dru shrugged as the warlock sighed. "I'll get you to your room if you promise me you'll report to Alec and Magnus immediately." "Well, I can ask the headmaster to arrange a meeting after I'll tell him what happened." She answered. Ragnor nodded in agreement. "That's good, kid. You should be happy you made it out alive." "Trust me, I am." Ragnor hurried to make a Portal and Dru bet he had a feeling he knew why she had been in Faerie and that he was going to talk about her arrival with someone and wanted to do so as fast as possible. However, she did not care because she too wanted to get back as fast possible and let Ty and Kit know she was alright and she had made it back to New York in a surprisingly safe yet extraordinary journey. So she jumped through the Portal the moment it appeared, not wasting a single second to get back to school. Now that's a thought she never would have guessed she'd ever have.

Tessa was resting against Jem, Mina on their laps as they rested in the couch, the boys upstairs. They had sent Emma and Julian away earlier as Emma recovered enough to rest at Blackthorn Hall. Which was almost a blessing, because delivering the news of Drusilla's dissapearance to Julian in person would have wrecked Ty even more. Mina stirred on their laps and seemed to sense their worry because she pouted at them and started shaking her head. "Of course, everything will be alright. It always turns out okay in the end." Jem said, having seen many teens and many tragedies. Tessa hummed and stood up. "I'm going to make some tea. Do you also desire a cup?" "Yes." Jem said, holding Mina close to him on his lap. "You really have your mother's mouth you know," Jem cooed to Mina and Tessa couldn't help but be taken back. For it was the way that Jem held Mina on his lap, that Tessa was reminded of Will all those years ago. In their love for their daughters, they weren't too dissimilar.

A young Lucie was sitting on Will's lap, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling with delight as his daughter told him a story she made up. She was about 7 years old at the time, her imagination and love for stories already rooting itself in her heart. Once Lucie was finished, she looked up curiously at her father, "Did you like it?" Will smiled at her. "Of course I do. Have I ever told you it was your mother's way of words that made me fall in love with her? She wrote the most beautiful letters and I was enarmored immediately with her charm." Tessa sitting across him felt her cheeks heat up a little at the memory of so long ago. "Really?" Lucie asked with a sweet wonder. "Yes. You are so like your mother, you know?" Will said, holding her close.

#twp #the wicked powers #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #shadowhunters #shadowhunter chronicles #the infernal devices #the last hours #dru blackthorn #ragnor fell #tessa gray #jem carstairs #mina carstairs #lucie herondale #will herondale

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caps-clever-girl · 10 months

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Okay I'm going slightly wild because I think I know your opinions on the mainstream ships - don't feel the need to do all of these 😆

Robin/Thomas

Kitty/Mary/Annie

Julian/Fanny

Robin/Cap

Cap/Mike

I ABSOLUTELY answered all of these and you did actually include one of my fave rarepairs in this jkjshdfkj THANK YOU!!!!!! Ship game here!

Fell in love with this pairing in the peach milk fic, i CANNOT EXPAIN this??? But i just lve how soft robin can be and i think thomas would do well with that. Also having someone who’s a bit more blase about monogamy could help thomas calm down a bit with how obsessive he is (or it could of course backfire and make him sad :c ) also i feel robins pranking/little shit-ness could go well with toms dramatics IF he let himself.

This one was DIFFICULT. I love burnt bread ok annie/mary is absolute soulmate shit. Its funny bc at the start of ghosts i did think kitty/mary was very cute, but between a growing fondness for kitmas and my LOVE for annie/mary i lost interest. I personally perfer this trio as annie/mary and their bestie kitty? But i do think the potential is cute as fuck and i an happy to be convinced of an ot3!!!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE JULIAN FANNY AND I WANT THEM TO BANG. I WANT THEM TO BANG A LOT. I WANT FANNY TO FINALLY SHOW HER TRUE HORNY COLOURS AND I WANT IT TO BE WITH JULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously i fucking love these two as an item, they were giving VIBES in s4 and i want those vibes to continue in s5 DESPERATELY. I think they get on so well when they arent insulting eachother (and when they are) like they’re both smart and can go toe to toe with eachother. And fanny is soooo repressed, i think she should unleash that and finally be her horny self and who better to do that with than julian? Yes he’s an ass but there is a chance he actually knows his stuff. Repressed posh horndog x huge manslut <3. The concept of these two send me so bonkers. I dont think its romantic, though i would not be opposed to seeing that develop, but i do think they would become besties with nasty benefits. Enemies to lovers, to Frenemies to lovers, to besties to lovers.

CAP AND ROBIN CAP AND ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! 100% a case of have 2 fave characters? Ship them! Its a shame bc they have SUCH little interraction in canon :( i cry about that every day. But i think they would work and actually work WELL. Robin not only lets cap infodump about weaponry but he’s interested in it!! And again, robin is a little shit but he is also a soft bitch. He would be patient with cap, but in particular because sexuality doesnt really bother him?? (Twas simply not really a concept in is day) he has like…. idk how to explain it but like he has no kid gloves around cap navigating himself. He just says it how it is. He doesnt go overboard with encouragement or praises but its clear that he cares and that he understands its hard for cap?? Yeah?? And cap would appreciate that. Cap can go at whatever pace he wants, talk as much or as little abt it as he wants and robin wouldnt pester him, but would be VERY helpful if cap did need it. PLUS!!! They are nature boys. Tell me they would not spend HOURS out on the grounds looking at birds. Robin would show cap his mouse family and cap would LOVE it, and in turn he would show Robin the ants and robin would be intrigued by the fact insects can be organised and have jobs. Robin would teach him about the animals from his time and cap would be so interested. They would absolutely watch nature docs together. And robin would watch weaponry docs with him (not neccesarily war docs themselves). They would both spend hours watching How Its Made vids. God i love them. So so much.

Ok my opinion on cap/mike. I do love the concept of this, but i do believe its one sided? Its hard to imagine mike falling for a ghost in general bc he cant see or interract with them in any way (hence i dont mind robin/julian/mike bc they kind of can have a bit of a chat and a joke). HOWEVER cap is canonically attracted to mike at the start of the series so hell yeah if that continued and developed that would be so good. The consequences of him being in love with mike would be excellent at any stage - pre-realisation of his sexuality would be incredible to watch, and it would maybe help him realise. It would be interesting to compare an infatuation with mike to one with havers and see the differences, esp if mike was mid/post realisation. I do think mike would be good mates tho. Just a vibe i have. I would love to see them interract so much. ALSO!!!!! I think the paralell of cap and fanny both having a thing for mike would be SO FUCKING FUNNY. Both of them sat bitching about it like “why me” “why me? Why HIM?” And “he lifted that box of silverware the other day and i fell through a wall.”

#bbc ghosts #squeak.ask

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walkingaftermidnight07 · 2 years

Text

Today's SOBH: let's chat yall

AKJS:DLJK:LKSJDF:KLJSFDLJLSKJDSLKJDSKLJSDLSDJLSLKJFLKSJDFLKSJFLKSJDFLKJSDFLJSLFJLKSJFLKSJFLKSJFLSJFLK

I AM SOBBING ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW I AM NOT OK

DEAR GOD I CANT DO THIS WHYYYYY

ok im trying to compile my thoughts as best i can but that's not gonna work so well so prepare for a very long, unhinged rant

first of all, livvy. seeing this update from livvy's perspective ripped my heart out of my chest and crushed it. i am already having all the feels. Hearing livvy describe kit being all grown up, it being a reminder that she will always stay the same....

I quit. im done. this hurts too much aksjf;jks;jfljslkfjlsfj

second, ty's reaction. my poor baby, he was so shockeddd

"I heard Ty take a breath like he never has before. Like he was gasping for air, like he’d been sucker-punched and he was trying to breathe and trying to breathe and he couldn’t."

kit may have fallen first, but ty fell harder for sure. this boy....he cares so much about kit that seeing him after everything that has happened causes him almost physical pain. he wants him back so much, but he doesnt understand why. or why kit has iced him out.

(sidenote: ty telling him that he's cleaning the gun wrong made me sob and laugh at the same time, because of course he would do that and i love him for it)

third thing:

KIT MY BABY WHAT THE HELL I GET YOURE HURT AND EVERYTHING AND I FEEL FOR YOU BUT YOUVE JUST HURT TY SO MUCH AND HES SO CONFUSED AND THIS ISNT HELPING YOU AT ALL

COMMUNICATE. I DARE YOU. TY CANT READ MINDS YOU IDIOT. HE DOESNT KNOW YOURE HURTING TOO. FOR ALL HE KNOWS, YOU HATE HIM

I LOVE YOU KIT, BUT DRU IS RIGHT YOU SUCK AT COMMUNICATION

“How long do you think it will take you to forgive me?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“But not now,” Ty said in the smallest voice.

“No,” Kit said. “Not now.”

i just wanna hug them so bad oh my fucking god

THAT WAS PHYSICALLY PAINFUL TO READ JESUS CHRIST AND IT STILL HURTS. TYYYYYY POOR BABY

fourth thing: livvy noticing how hurt kit is too, but ty not seeing that

something tells me that livvy isnt going to tell ty about that, so as not to get his hopes up, meaning twp is going to be a long ride for them to get to the point where they actually communicate 👀😭

"Julian, I don’t know what to do. Ty misses Kit more than he thought he could miss someone. He misses him as much now as he did the day he left. He loves him the same. I think he always will and it scares me.

Kit is used to not needing people, but Ty needs people. He is afraid to need people but that is only because he needs them so much. He is not going to stop needing Kit. I don’t know if Kit will always need Ty. But Ty will always need him."

DONT SAY THAT LIVVY. KIT NEEDS TY TOO HE IS JUST SO FUCKING STUBBORN A:KJSDFLJSLFJLSDJFLSJFLKJS

no but i have to applaud cassie for this, because holy shit, this update managed to wreck me within the first paragraph. The overall tone, livvy's perspective and voice throughout the whole thing, the descriptions of our two lil baby idiots-----

I AM FEELING ALL THE FEELS AND I AM SO EXCITED FOR THEM TO FINALLY TALK IT OVER FOR REAL NEXT TIME

let me know what y'all's thoughts are!!! Id love to have a discussion about yalls theories and overall thoughts :D

#sobh #secrets of blackthorn hall #the shadowhunter chronicles #the wicked powers #twp #tsc #ty blackthorn #livvy blackthorn #julian blackthorn #kit herondale #kit x ty #screaming crying throwing up #i am not ok #i will never be okay #i need a hug now #i know i sound insane in this ramble but you have to understand #i am so attached to these two fictional characters its not even funny #im going to go cool down now #i need a good cry and some ice cream

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zutraeumen · 11 months

Text

The Second Course

Darkness fell. The restaurant, bay windows aglow with warm light from afar. Out here, amidst the water and trees, all was quiet save for the lonesome, distant call of a loon.

Adele was actually prepared for the next clap! of hands from the Chef, you would never catch her unprepared twice!

"Is he gonna keep doing that?"

I fear so dear Margot.

This time, he didn't even wait for his customer's attention as he began another fancy monologue, "Bread has existed in some form for over twelve thousand years. Especially amongst the poor. Flour and water, what could be simpler? Even today, grain represents 65% of all agriculture. Fruits and vegetables? Only 6%. Ancient Greek peasants dipped their stale, measly bread and wine for breakfast. And how did Jesus teach us to pray if not to beg for 'our daily bread'? It is and always has been the food of the common man. But you, my dear guests, are not the common man. So tonight... you get no bread."

Now THAT was how you politely say 'fuck you' to the rich kids.

That was a devilishly wicked move and she loved it.

"He must be joking..."

"What?"

"It's gotta be a bit... wait, are you fucking serious?"

The worst part was, they still thought it was all in jest; a prank. Oh, how wrong the Chef proved them with his next words, "In this spirit, please enjoy the unaccompanied accompaniments."

Oh, this was better entertainment than South Park.

Watching them looking incredulously at their plates and not even realizing the Chef had just made fun of them. The level of pretentiousness and obliviousness was best described in Tyler's words as 'next level'.

The plate itself and the small accompaniments resembled a painting pallet painters used for their colours, and instead of bread was a note that read: The bread you will not be eating tonight was made from a heritage wheat called red fife, crafted with our partners at the Tehachapi Grain Project, devoted to preserving heirloom grains.

Slipping a chewing gum secretly into her mouth, the amount of chatter doubled significantly at the outrageous course of events and her amusement rose to such an extent that she could almost forget that the Chef wanted to kill her.

"This is insane," Felicity let the paper fall from her hands with a shake of her head.

"Hmmm... because the shit around the total absence of the bread is like, really good."

How could someone enjoy savoury oils and emulsions on their own when they couldn't stand without bread? George could, and Tyler as well, but he insisted it was part of a greater theme nobody of them could grasp.

Strange of him to say that, it was almost as if he knew something the others didn't. But hey, this was Tyler we were talking about, he was the type who probably knew how Slowik liked his coffee in the morning.

"I mean it's a little outrageous, isn't it?"

The blonde food critic leant back against her seat, "That's fiendish really. I mean he- he's always been keenly aware of food and its history of class I mean, as have I..."

"-Sure." Somebody shoot that sycophant in the head.

"... though I will say," she picked up her glasses once again, "that this emulsion does look slightly split."

At this point, the assassin wouldn't take anything seriously from that woman. That food critic was a joke. A woman insatiable, and so full of herself she had to criticize something to appease her own ego; as the one food critic who had discovered and later re-discovered the famous Julian Slowik.

What a bitch.

Madam Elsa thought so too, because it was only seconds before she abandoned her temporary post next to one of the hearths to put a whole ass bucket of orange, 'broken' emulsion in front of her, the very same one she had complained so viciously about. She looked so positively shocked that she couldn't even do anything else but take the L and push out a strained smile.

"Um, excuse me."

Madam Elsa was beckoned by Bryce to the larger table where the finance bros sat, "Is everything to your liking, sir?"

"Um, well, actually no, thanks for asking. I mean look, the food's great and we totally get the conceptual stuff but can we please get a little bread? Some gluten-free for my friend as well?"

"No."

Shit's about to get real.

"No?" Bryce replied, surprised.

Madam Elsa dropped the friendly facade and levelled him with a gaze that very much told him she would not budge no matter how many times he asked.

At the shock of being denied twice in a row, the table shared a round of exasperated glances before Bryan found his voice again, "This is all very clever, and I didn't wanna pull this card, but you know who we are, right?"

Oldest trick in the book.

"Yes."

"You do? You know who we are?" Soren joined in, looking patronisingly at the lady butler.

The maître d' continued to speak politely, as if she was speaking to children, "I know who you are."

Soren let out an irritatingly childish noise of disbelief from his tight-lipped mouth that further proved what a man-child he truly was.

"You know we work with Doug Varrick, right?"

"No, you work for Mr Varrick." The viper struck again. Yikes.

"Exactly so you know we all play on the same team so just, slip us a little bread, please."

"We won't tell a soul lady, I promise."

Their nerve was astounding. Entitlement at its finest. There was no way in hell they were getting what they wanted.

"No."

"Did you say no?"

"I said 'no', yes."

The tension deflated as they gave up, receding in their seats with equal expressions of undignified rejection. Adele smirked in triumph, served them right! But then the lady butler whispered something into Soren's ear and the man had gone paler than a white sheet in the matter of second.

Adele would have paid money to know what Madam Elsa might have said to him.

The Chef until then, presided over the kitchen with a downright menacing gaze, surveying both staff and customers until a loud, unexpected noise popped the bubble in the restaurant.

A glass was shattered and Slowik was onto it like a panther in waiting.

"You haven't touched your food." The Chef remarked to Margot, eyes devoid of passion. Where had that subtle malice gone?

"There is no food."

Hit the nail right on the head.

"No, this is food."

And then the chatter renewed and now there was no way she could continue listening in any more than that. Looking around to see if anybody would notice, Adele watched on as they talked and boy did it seem like Margot was telling him off. Tyler visibly fidgeted in his seat, mortified that he had somehow offended his idol.

Then a truly dour expression took over Chef's taut face, He half-smiled and half-grimaced. No one talked to him like this. Then he walked away. Tyler looked sick.

Adele had said it before and she would say it again, that woman had some guts to tell that to the head chef, even when she wholeheartedly agreed. The courses were horrendously empty of proper food and filled with superficial words that soured the mood to eat altogether.

And Adele was likely to get poisoned if she ever listened to her stomach- WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING HERE?!

The Chef suddenly stopped at her own table. Alarmed, she thought he would confront Adele the same way he did with Margot but he did no such thing. The patrician with clean-shaven cheeks, and trimmed brown hair completely disregarded her presence and gently lowered his forehead onto the madam's sitting with her.

There was warmth, there was true affection in this act, but even such raw moments were over in but a fraction of a moment if one blinked too many times, and soon the Chef was back marching into the kitchen, overseeing the preparation of the next course.

"I want plating in three, my friends!"

"Yes, Chef!"

#romance #julian slowik #chef slowik #horror #ralph fiennes #winston scott #john wick #john wick chapter 4 #keanu reeves #john wick 4 #margot mills #the menu #eventual romance #eventual smut #eventual relationship

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ailendolin · 2 years

Note

vacancy: [character] forgets where they are: Mary from ghosts

Here is your fic, anon! I went with a more loose interpretation of the prompt but I hope you enjoy it!

Next up:

Please be okay: [Fanny] isn’t feeling well, causing them to act differently.

Careful care: it’s hard for [Thomas] to accept help. [Francis] knows which care methods are “acceptable”.

Speechless: [Julian] can’t talk because of a sore throat.

Right as rain: [Thomas] says they’re fine right before collapsing.

Bed bargain: [Isabelle] won’t stay in bed. [Thomas] convinces them.

Ask Games are here & here. Filled prompts are here & here on AO3.

————

Come Home

Vacancy: [Mary] forgets where they are.

The first few days (weeks, months, years) after her husband’s death, Mary struggled. There were moments when her mind played tricks on her, making her forget that he was gone in the cruellest of ways. The mornings always were the hardest – that split second after waking up when she turned around to wake him with a kiss only to find the space next to her achingly empty. Her heart always fell, every single time, when reality sank back in and grief that still felt as raw and new as it did on the day of the accident would well up inside her, threatening to consume her again.

Sometimes, she had moments like this during the day as well. There were times when she got so lost in the routine of her life that she would instinctively look over her shoulder and call for her husband, be it to ask him to fetch her a basket or to show him the first signs of the new crop sprouting from the ground, only for the world to stop. She’d stand there, blinking at the empty fields around her, heavy with silence, as the memories rushed back in and she remembered.

Mary was no stranger to grief, of course. She had lost siblings when she was young, and children of her own after she got married. Death was a part of everyone’s life in those days and hers was no exception. But losing her husband, the man who had stood by her side for years and been a gentle, loving constant through every hardship, had been different, had shaken her to the very core and turned her life upside down in a way nothing else ever had before.

Then flames licked at her skin and smoke burned in her lungs, and she found herself confronted with a different kind of loss: that of her home.

Mary could still see it, just past the house’s invisible borders of witchcraft that kept her trapped. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t go past them. The magic always turned her back towards the house, forcing it upon her even though she did not want it. She wanted to go home.

In the end, she had no choice but to stay where she’d never dared to go to when she was alive, knowing that she didn’t belong in big houses such as that. The upstairs attic, far away from the livings, became her place to sleep and when she closed her eyes tightly at night and allowed her mind to wander far enough into the past, she could almost pretend that she was back home. If she was very lucky, that thought would follow her into her dreams and she would get to live again, just for a little while. Her husband’s smile always looked so bright and clear in her dreams – not faded as it did whenever she tried to recall the gentle curve of his lips during the day. His laughter rang like bells in her ears and she found herself laughing along with him as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and spun her around the room in a circle, nearly knocking the freshly baked bread he loved so much from the table in the process.

For a few precious hours, she was happy. But as much as Mary enjoyed those dreams, she didn’t like how they made her feel when she woke up in the mornings and watched the old familiar walls of her home change back into those of the house. It made her want to weep.

It wasn’t until Annie’s arrival that she warmed up to her new home – for that was what it was now, whether she liked it or not – a little. Annie, just like her late husband, was so full of life and had no love left for the fancy folk that Mary couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. Annie’s friendship was both the best and the worst thing that could have happened to her. She found her voice with Annie’s help and her company made the house feel a little bit like home, more than it ever had. But when the light took Annie, it left Mary as lost as she’d been after her husband’s death. For months, she caught herself turning towards the empty space next to her to share a smile or a scathing remark only to find no one there, and the others’ pitying looks made it even worse.

Her dreams changed. Sometimes, Mary dreamed of Annie in her home, smiling at her just like her husband used to do. Sometimes, both her husband and Annie were there, standing next to each other in the doorway and holding out their hands to her with matching smiles on their faces.

“Come home, Mary.”

Mary wanted to but every time she reached for them she startled awake just before their hands touched. It was cruel and unfair, yet she desperately hoped the dreams would never go away. They were all she had left of them.

#mary #annie #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic #ask game prompt ficlet

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lunastarhawk · 11 months

Text

Was reading back over previous chapters of Tides of Memories to refresh my memory of certain things as I'm writing the next part, and thinking about this scene which I kind of like.

Aside from the smutty one-shots I wrote, I don't think I'll ever do a full route rewrite, canon mostly works fine for Juleia tbh, but in the post-route I do like having Julian and Altheia reminisce occasionally. And sometimes it turns into a whole thing, frolicking in the sea in the realms becomes a Conversation, and it's just Them.

From Part 14

His smokey eyes wandered over her face, as with slender fingers he pulled back the wet hair clinging to her cheeks and hooked it behind her ears. Altheia tilted her head a little, waiting for him to speak, but it seemed as if a myriad of emotions were working their way through him. Eventually, he kissed her forehead, and spoke with his lips resting there. “Do you remember that night, back in the beginning, when you were bitten by the vampire eel?”

Altheia shuddered at the memory of the intense pain and sudden blood loss. “Of course. I remember how you healed me from it. Taking the wound for yourself.” “Mmm. And then we ran, and you pulled us into that garden.” Altheia pulled back and looked at him, grinning. She enjoyed that, with her being buoyant in the water, she could be nearly at eye level with him. “Ah yes, the oh-so mysterious and dangerous ‘one drop of star strand poison can kill an emperor’ act, wasn’t it?” Julian tsked, feigning indignation. “That was no act, my dear. I’ll have you know I’m extremely dangerous. Star strand really can be deadly, you know.” Altheia laughed low in her throat and kissed his jaw. “The flower was pretty though. Lit up your face beautifully.” “Oh, good! That’s exactly what I was going for. A blue-tinged illuminated face.” She laughed again. “Darling, let me tell you.” She wound her fingers into the wet curls at the back of his head, and dropped her voice to a husky purr. “Blue-tinged or not, I’d never seen a mouth I wanted to kiss more than yours when you smirked in that sultry way that you do.” She kissed the red flush that bloomed on his cheeks. “With your smokey eyes and fluttering eyelashes.” “Oho, is that so?” Julian bit his lip under his smile. “So why didn’t you kiss me?” Altheia laughed and splashed a little water in his face. “Because you were too busy acting mysterious and dangerous.” “Ah, if I had but known!” Julian put the back of one hand to his forehead and swooned; Altheia laughed, treading water until he righted himself with a grin, and she could pull herself against him again. “So yes, love, I do remember that evening. What about it?” “Hmm. You know…” He looked down, running two fingers through one of the white streaks in Altheia’s hair. “You asked if I was okay.” She tilted her head a little, puzzled. “Yes?” He shook his head. “You asked because you knew I wasn’t.” Altheia snorted a laugh. “Well, yes, you’d lost a lot of blood and were acting strangely. What else should I have done? Poked your wound?” Julian smirked and raised an eyebrow. “You never know, I might have liked it.” She gave him a pointed look and he grinned and planted a kiss on her cheek. “You’re right, that would have been a bit ah… macabre , even for me.” Altheia pressed up against him, enjoying the way his shirt clung to his skin under the water. “Did you have a point you were trying to get to?” “I did, yes. I do.” Julian cleared his throat. “The point is… the point is you knew that I wasn’t okay. And I’m not talking about the obvious, like an open wound. What I mean is… Whatever mask I wore, tricks I played, words I wove, you saw me.” “True. I fell for your roguish charm and devilish good looks,” she said, holding back a smile as she poked his chest. “Not your bullshit.” Julian barked a surprised laugh. Then said, “Theia…” He cupped her cheek with one hand and brought their faces closer. “I can see you, too. When you’re not okay, you need to let me help you. Not…” He gestured vaguely with one hand to take in their surroundings, and his eyes glinted with mischief. “... jump into portals so I have to come and rescue you.” “I did not need rescuing , thank you,” Altheia said, feigning indignation. “I’m not some fair maiden needing rescuing by a knight in… in starry armour!” “Maybe.” Julian held her gaze then. “But you know, I don’t need those memories. I really don’t. And I certainly don’t want you putting yourself in danger to get them back for me. Okay?” Altheia started to protest, but receded with a nod; Julian’s eyes were unusually steely. But as she sealed her word with a kiss, she couldn’t help but think that there was more to Julian getting his memories back than just whether he wanted them.

The Call of the Stars - Part 14 of Tides of Memories

#the arcana game #the arcana fanfiction #julian devorak #julian devorak fanfiction #tides of memories #julian x oc #juleia

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deepspacedukat · 2 years

Note

heya! can I have a scenario where Julian Bashir gets comforted by his s/o when he gets stressed out? thank you!

Of course you can! This idea is adorable, and I hope I did it justice!! I know this is a little short, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Stress Reduction

Julian Bashir (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: Gender neutral language is used in reference to the reader.]

Warnings: None, this is just fluff.

~*~

Despite his well-tailored tux, I could tell by the way his shoulders were slumped that something was wrong that even a visit to the holosuites hadn’t been able to fix. A scowl had made its home on the good doctor’s face and didn’t appear to be leaving anytime soon.

As I watched him walk to the viewport and lean against one of the bulkheads, a deep, heavy sigh left him. Quietly so I wouldn’t disturb his thoughts, I walked up behind him and slid my arms gently around his waist. Julian hummed and covered my hands with one of his. Resting my forehead against the back of his shoulder, I nuzzled him softly.

“Long day?” The words felt silly considering his current emotional state, but I needed to make sure he was alright. Supporting each other is what partners do, after all, and goodness only knew that Julian had done the same for me countless times. Besides, I pretty much had to be the one to ask, because Julian didn’t tend to complain about work unless things were really rough. It wasn’t healthy for him to bottle things up like that.

“You have no idea, darling,” he muttered darkly as his thumb skimmed over the back of my hand where it rested on his chest. “Long and bloody stressful.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” I promised leaning up just far enough to be able to press a soft kiss onto his neck above the collar of his suit. His grip on my hand tightened a fraction, and he turned slowly to face me. Taking a seat on the ledge behind him, Julian coaxed me into standing between his legs. Resting my free hand on his shoulder, I looked into his sweet, tired eyes and gave him a loving smile.

“Any chance we could go lie down together? I have a stack of work that needs my attention, but right now all I want is some peace and quiet. And maybe...” He trailed off with a bit of a blush, and I gave him an encouraging look. “If it’s not a bother, could you maybe...give me one of your scalp massages? You’re so good at them, and I sort of just want to turn my brain off and go limp for a bit. I-If you don’t want to, that’s completely fine–”

Cutting him off with a kiss, I grabbed his hands and took a step back toward the bedroom. Julian looked at me with a dazed sort of expression, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, c’mon then. Your scalp isn’t going to massage itself,” I teased, and he practically dragged me the rest of the way to the bed. About an hour later, we were both down to our underwear and Julian was lying limp in my arms, half draped across me and half wrapped around me. He’d vented about his day for a while before giving in to the sensation of the massage and allowing himself to be drawn into a near slumber. Soon his breathing had evened out as he fell asleep, and I called quietly for the computer to turn out the lights for the night.

#deepspacedukat fic #julian bashir #julian bashir x reader #fluff #star trek deep space 9 #star trek ds9

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blackink-onpaper · 11 months

Text

The Descend and the Resurface

Damian Hart (Beyblade) x OC

Summary: OC comes from a complex background, and in the midst of trying to save it all and help her family she enters a strange arrangement, which will change her life forever.

Masterlist 🖤

Tags: Beyblade, Beyblade Metal Masters, Ryuga, Jack, Damian, Zeo Abyss, OC, Gingka Hagane, team Starbreaker, team Gan Gan Galaxy, dr. Ziggurat, Hades Inc.

A/N: (ambience suggestion) this chapter and the next will go along with the canon storyline, for this chapter watch Beyblade Metal Masters episode 93 if you like, it’s available on youtube! Also, at one moment I mention Damian’s worried expression, which you can see on the last photo :) Enjoyy~

Chapter 16

I tried getting backstage a few more times, but the crowd kept being too difficult to get past from. ‘Well, time to find something to do for half an hour’ I thought to myself, as I pulled out my phone for a scrolling session. I had social media, but really hated it ever since Julian and I had started dating because of all the nosy, toxic people trying to get into my life just because of him. If I was qualified to write a book about anything, it’s definitely on what it’s like being an “uninportant” girlfriend of an important man. And it seems I did it again, ironically, but at least no one knows for now. Checking if I had any messages, I saw an ad for a summer dress in the same blue colour as Damian’s hair, with white stripes on the hems, and I gasped in excitement. I immediately checked the availability and ordered the dress, so that I would have it for a celebration with Damian once all of this was over. Reflecting on my previous relationship again, I realised I did everything completely different this time around and how liberated I actually felt: to be able to say things I should’ve kept hidden, to have sex before having a date first because there is no one who would gossip and make a story out of it, and of course, my biggest cliché of all: to fall in love with a ‘bad boy’.

After ordering the dress, which would probably make Julian throw up if he ever saw it, I remembered I had some polaroid photos in my phone case I had completely forgotten about. My phone case opened with a loud crack sound, showing me a few memories from my past: there was a picture Sophie took of me when we were all invited to Julian’s summer house at lake Como, and one more from the same day of me and Julian together. Everyone told us we were an amazing couple, and I agree we certainly looked the part, but looking back on myself then I was feeling nowhere near complete. I wondered what people would think of Damian and I, would they love us as much as they did the Konzern-Casilarghi combination? The last picture was that of my garden, with my mom and I eating cherries in the sun; I took a picture of it and sent it to my mom with a text that I’m at the championship. She replied back almost immediately:

“My darling ❤️🍒 Enjoy the match, any luck with Julian?”

I was struck by a wave of mixed feelings; I felt as if I was lying to her by not telling her I completely let Julian go and had fallen for someone new, especially because I am not sure what they would think of Damian, and Damian of them. However, I’m sure my parents would easily get over any hard feelings if they considered Damian rich enough, which is comforting in it’s own way I guess.

The match began again. Just as the presenters announced the Gingka vs Jack battle, a literal meteor fell from the sky right into the stadium. For a brief moment I thought this was the end of the world, as the fire swept over everything, and loud thuds and cracks echoed from the walls carrying the whole construction. Opening my eyes, I saw most people had the same idea, because some even hid under the seats or shielded themselves with their bags, but we were all unharmed. However, there was a distinctively recognisable figure standing in the stadium.

The Japanese presenter stuttered: “It-it’s Ryuga, everyone!”

I’ve only ever heard of this guy, but he looked the same as in the pictures I had seen some time ago: platinum hair, tanned skin, angry eyes. But from what I’d heard, he is the strongest and most fearsome Blader out there. Seeing as he was standing on the side of Gan Gan Galaxy, it occurred to me that Gingka might have lied about not having a third member, but I then realised how bewildered the three members of the team looked and discarted the theory entirely. However, Ryuga’s choice of standing position might mean trouble for Jack.

“You do remember what you said to me, don’t you?” Ryuga asked Jack

“No, what?” Jack blurted out bluntly, without his usual pompousness

Apparently, Jack had told Ryuga at some earlier point that he would paint him a picture of Hades, and Ryuga came to collect his comission. But it seemed Ryuga also had an agenda against Ziggurat, as he looked up at him several times. I darted a look at Damian; while Jack accepted his challenge, seeming enviably and surprisingly confident, Damian seemed quite worried - I would dare say perhaps even scared as he stood a few steps behind Jack. But his facial expression was hard to read, so maybe he was just being more serious than I’m used to.

As the battle began, I had to admit I was also becoming worried both about the match and Jack’s wellbeing. I mean, Ryuga is really not the kind of guy one would like to mess with, especially because I know Damian would not break the tournament rules for Jack like Sophie and Wales did for Julian - and rightfully so, because if Jack loses Damian can still win the final battle, whereas for Excalibur the tournament had already been decided before the intervention.

The start of the battle must’ve been one of the most explosive ones I’d ever seen. No time was wasted by Jack and Befall, who just kept hitting Ryuga’s Bey without a break, and Jack was evidently enjoying himself. After a couple of more attacks, Jack slowly descended into an insane laughter:

“Sorry, Mr. Ryuga” he began, after he calmed down from that weird laughing spell: “Earlier I said I’d make this match into an amazing work of art, but allow me to correct myself. This will be my greatest masterpiece! Yes, and the completion of my work of art will mean your total and definite defeat!” Jack proclaimed loud and clear as his hair started to levitate, and a glow in different shades of gorgeous pink colours surrounded him like an aura. I mean, I have to be honest and say I was not nearly as confident about this as Jack, but I was absolutely blown away by his bravery. Many experienced Bladers would not even have half the personality Jack held up against Ryuga.

But I need to be equally honest that Ryuga’s demeanour was nothing short of imposing: Jack slashed him with his special move, appropriately called The Ripper, and he didn’t even bother to move. I darted a look at Damian, who had a curious look in his eyes and a small grin to support Jack’s attack. Curious with a reason, as Ryuga’s L-Drago was spinning as if nothing had happened:

“You really are stimulating the right side of my brain now! How stimulating is this!” Jack announced yet another special move - Slice and Dice - as Befall began to literally carve out the stadium to his will and whim. I pulled myself closer to see better, but ended up almost slipping of my seat because I hadn’t noticed how close I already was to it’s edge. After checking left and right if anyone had seen me, I continued watching to see what image Jack was aiming to create:

“One more stroke, and my greatest masterpiece will be complete!” Jack waved his finger around as L-Drago was being dragged around by a lethally slicing Befall: this was looking good for Starbreaker, but something just didn’t sit right with me about this. As the camera display on the televisions across the stadium panned out, an elegant body of a peacock emerged from the flat stone of the dome stadium.

“So Jack is drawing an image of his muse: Befall” I chuckled to myself, he was really something else entirely. Befall struck L-Drago right into the eye of the illustrated bird, and his spinning was slowing down almost to a stop:

“L-Drago is almost out of power now!” The presenters gripped the handrails of their positions, while Gan Gan Galaxy looked pale as three sheets of paper from the stress. At least this seems to be an imminent win for Starbreaker; I guess I was just overthinking Ryuga’s strength, his mysterious reputation probably playing up his fame.

But then he made me question both my vision and my sanity by increasing his rotation with simplicity and out of nowhere. Gasps arose from the audience around me:

“But how?” Jack blurted out, more confused than shocked or outraged, to which Ryuga measured up to with:

“You call this your greatest masterpiece, do you? Heh, are you sure you’re all done?”

“No way” Jack gasped in a half pleading tone: “Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me the entire battle up to now has just been to measure my power?!”

Then, Ryuga called his special move, the name of which I did not catch because of the gust of fire, heat and wind that swirled over the stadium in a burning red glow. Very reminiscent of Damian’s Hades Drive, but inexplicably multiplied. A long red dragon, stretching out at least two kilometres into the air appeared, and even though Jack put up one last brave stance against him by sending Befall into a defending flight, it was completely clear it’s an immediate defeat.

An explosion shook the entire stadium, making a crack in the floor from underneath my feet as people’s hats, pamphlets and random small items just flew away over their heads. Jack’s loud, piercing scream was the only thing I heard over the explosion itself. Befall was now the pink ruby centerpiece imbedded within the eye of the peacock that stood for a minute until the entire dome collapsed, the image now forever lost and forgotten. Jack whimpered about his work of art, hugging himself as if to calm himself down as he fell to his knees. Ryuga stared at Ziggurat’s room overlooking the stadium, and L-Drago launched into a flight, breaking his window.

“Woah…what the…” I uttered to myself, there was something seriously foul in the history between Ziggurat and Ryuga if he acted this way. As Ryuga was walking away, some paramedic that are unmistakeably from Hades Inc., given their dark grey lab coats, helped Jack up to his feet again and into the backstage, while Damian was nowhere in sight. I got up immediately, and grabbed my bag and water bottle to run to the backstage door, before noticing all of the water from my bottle had evapourated from L-Drago’s fire.

“Unbelievable…” I gasped before making my way past the security guards and into the Starbreaker wing.

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amberjazmyn · 2 months

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she waits

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - she waits

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - parent abandonment, mentions of emotional childhood abuse, tears, pregnancy, happy ending

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - jules (julianna) benedict (nee holowitz) grew up without a mom after being abandoned by her. she never got over it and still waited for her. and maybe that was why her husband rob benedict was so against his wife's constant want and longing for her mom. this will chronical jules' life when she's a kid, teenager and now an adult with her own family with rob and the spn family.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i love the song "she waits" by supernatural's rob benedict's band louden swain. even though i cannot personally relate to the song since i did not experience either parent abandoning me and my brother, i still love it and think it's a gorgeous song with so much emotional meaning to those who can relate to the song.

masterlist listen to "she waits" here!

- - -

have faith, promises were made. you just take care and behave, you left and now you are saved, the path it walks you away.

julianna shouldn't be upset anymore. it was no longer news that jules' mom left her and emotionally abused her when she was a much younger kid. now as a teenager, it still hurt her feelings when her mom fell through on a promise she had made to her daughter and the rest of her siblings. jules' mom was the best at giving excuses after making countless promises of coming back to her family.

"...c'mon jules, have faith. she promised us...mommy promised us that she'd be here so she has too!" julian, jules' younger brother was so hopeful and it broke jules' heart as she sighed

"i know she promised us julian but bub, she's never ever followed through on these promises," jules sighed as julian sniffled, upset that his older sister was telling the truth

of course, because julian was still young, the youngest of the holowitz siblings, he still had faith and belief in his mom. he still couldn't understand why all his older siblings were so against their mommy. he didn't know why they were always so mad at her and why they'd constantly spew their hate for the woman that gave birth to them and then just left them.

"i know...i just...i just want my momma..." julian cried softly as jules felt awful for the little boy who had no idea why their mother just up and left

"...i know bubba, i do too...i do too..."jules sighed as she picked up her brother and hugged him tightly

just like she was told to do by her dad, jules took care of herself and she behaved. her mom left and she was saved and now the path was left for her to walk it and see where it took her. of course, she'd always wait for her mom, she'd wait for her for eternity but she knew her mom would never come back especially when it was clear that her mom never loved her and the kids she gave birth to. or the man she married. it was clear she wanted a whole new life for herself so, that's what she did. and now, it was up to her now ex-husband to pick up the pieces that were broken forever.

and meanwhile the house is empty, the floors lay naked and weary. the walls, barely hanging on, carry on and she waits for you.

jules never thought she'd see this house again. today, jules was back in houston, texas due to a supernatural convention that was being held there. and because the convention centre was so close to her childhood home, she decided that after the convention, she'd take a quick little drive and check it out. see if it still looked the same or see if her dad had changed it like he had planned to do since the day his wife abandonded the family and his kids. even though she genuinely never thought she'd ever want to see the house again, her ego was forcing her to check it out. just to see if it would still have the painful connotations it did before she decided to leave houston when she was seventeen for hawaii.

so, it shouldn't have surprised her and made her heart physically hurt when she got out of her car and walked to the front door to see the house as it looked now. but it did make her heart physically hurt. the house was empty. the floors laid naked, weary and worn in from all the abuse it had been given by her and her siblings. the walls, were barely hanging on. the wallpaper clearly ripped off so aggressively that it had basically destroyed the walls as well. and even though jules shouldn't think this and hadn't thought of her in years, she still waited for her mom even though she had carried on with her life without her. she still yearned to be loved and appreciated by that woman. if anything, she just wanted to know why. why did that woman decide to marry that man, have all those kids and then just decide one day that she was just going to leave.

sniffling, jules was embarrassed as her husband rested his chin on her shoulder, "...you alright baby?" rob's soft voice whispered behind her as jules held back the sob that was waiting to be heard

"no...i just...i don't get it...i don't understand why we weren't enough for her, you know? were we not good kids? was dad not a good husband?" jules' voice shook as rob sighed, turning his wife around and hugging her properly

"i know babe. i know what it feels like...and i highly doubt it was your guys' fault. i think a hundred per cent it was her fault. you were more than enough for her, the whole family was, and she didn't know how to appreciate that. it scared her that she could have people that loved her and she ran away because she didn't how to deal with it like an adult," rob whispered as jules nodded her head and smiled at her husband

she knew the pain of her husband's own abandonment by his dad and how that affected him. which was why it was so easy for rob to comfort jules when she'd get upset about her mom's abandonment. so she was glad that when she told that side of her to rob, she felt safe knowing that he could relate to her, as depressing and so dependent it sounds, it meant that they both had something traumatic that they could relate to. it was something they could bond over because they knew what it felt like to be abandoned by a parent, by someone who was supposed to love unconditionally and love them.

"yeah...she was probably scared but, why couldn't she just be the one to break the generational trauma? why does it have to be me and my siblings?" jules now felt mad as rob sighed, biting his lip as he shook his head

"i don't know darling but, if you don't break the generational trauma right now, then who will?" rob spoke as jules nodded her head, knowing she couldn't argue with that so she didn't

"no one would. it'll continue happening each generation that's created so, the cycle ends here," jules breathed in heavily as she clenched her fists as rob smiled, feeling proud of his wife

"atta girl. let's go, we don't need to be here anymore," rob smiled as he held his hand out for his wife as the benedicts then left the house that held many a bad memory

last night you left like a bird, fly away and never be heard. the wind, it's cold and absurd but man, you gave her your word.

as jules and the rest of the horowitz family slept peacefully, there was a sudden slam of the front door. this made all the siblings jolt awake as jules clambered out of her bed, down the hall, down the stairs and to the front door whilst the rest of the brothers and sisters fell back asleep. where her father, john horowitz stood as he sobbed. wailing for his wife, hollie-anne horowitz to come back as he opened the door back up again after hollie-anne had slammed it shut. begging for her to not leave him and the family. apologising if he had done something wrong that caused her to up and leave, abandoning their children. and this worried jules. as the third oldest child but first oldest of the girls, she rushed to be with her dad. wanting to comfort him and wanting to know what had happened.

"...daddy? what are you doing? what's wrong?" an exhausted jules muttered as she cuddled up next to her dad at the front door that was opened for the dark early morning hours to see

"ahh...jules, honey! what are you doing here? you should be sleeping!" john sniffled, trying to wipe away his tears before kneeling down to his young daughter's height

"i heard the front door slam, it scared me...where's mommy? was it her that slammed the front door?" jules was scared, sure, her mom wasn't a great mom but that was still her mom and jules adored her mom when she shouldn't be

"yeah honey. it was mommy that slammed the front door..." john whimpered, not even trying to stay strong as jules' eyes started to tear up as well, her dad's big oversized shirt she was wearing as her pyjamas made her look even smaller as john looked at her

"...where did she go? is mommy going to come back?" jules whimpered as her eyes welled with tears and her bottom lip shook as john shook his head, closing his eyes

"i don't think so baby girl. she seemed pretty certain that she wasn't going to come back..." john then shivered, as did jules, the wind cold and absurd for this time of year as hollie-anne vowed to never do the very thing her own mother did to her

"...but...but she promised she wouldn't leave...she pinky promised me she wouldn't do what gma did..." jules' teary voice broke john's heart because he remembered that pinky promise that hollie-anne made with jules when she was actually somewhat of a nice mom

"...i know she did baby girl but...i'm afraid your mom is not good at keeping her pinky promises..." john trailed off as he finally picked up his eldest daughter to bring her back into the house since it was below freezing and it was getting late

but jules wriggled out of her dad's grip and she stepped out to the front porch step where she and her father were not even a minute ago. tears streaming down her small little cheeks as she just looked into the darkness of the houston chill and she waited. she waited as long as she could before john knew better to leave his daughter out of the house like this. bringing jules back inside the house was a struggle but once he picked her up and brought her inside, closing and then locking the front door, she couldn't fight anymore. she was too weak and exhausted, falling asleep out of pure exhaustion of her tears on her daddy's shoulder as he walked them upstairs and into daddy's room. john knew his daughter wouldn't be able to stomach falling back asleep in her own bed. so, he let his six-year-old daughter sleep in his bed with her for the next four months, right up until she turned seven.

and meanwhile the house is empty, the floors lay naked and weary. the walls, barely hanging on, carry on and she waits for you.

moving into a new house with her boyfriend rob should have excited jules. it was a happy occasion. jules left hawaii to move back to the "mainland" usa and live in los angeles with her boyfriend. however, walking into this new house felt eerily similar to her childhood home back in houston, texas. the one that haunted the adult in her sleep every night. the one that her father and youngest brother julian still lived in. the one that took years for her father to get rid of everything that had connotations to his ex-wife that just left that one evening with no other word of warning but a measly letter that john had later found after jules had finally cried herself to sleep that night that hollie-anne left. but that was exactly it, no matter where jules moved to, every single house she's moved into, it reminded her of her mother. especially when it was a house that was empty, the floors naked with no rugs or carpets or worn in from the years of it being lived in. the walls were new and pristine but to jules, she saw the walls in the same way she saw herself, barely hanging on.

"...jules, babe, you need to stop doing this every time we move houses. you're slowly killing yourself by thinking everywhere we go is houston and your mom..." rob sighed, feeling bad that his girlfriend felt like this because he knew exactly what it felt like, he too had a parent abandon him

it was his dad that abandonded rob and his family but, he still knew what parental abandonment felt like. he had to live with it and still lives with it every single day but, he doesn't let it constantly control his life. he wasn't doing what jules does which is every new place they move into, bring in the memory of her mother that left.

"...i know i need to stop but i...i just can't! i don't know how!" jules sighed as she plopped herself onto the new velvet couch - which, when she really thought about it, was definitely nothing like the couch she had in her childhood home in houston

"yes you do, jules, you just don't want to stop it. and i know that because i did the same thing for a little while too but, i eventually stopped it because i realised i knew how to stop it, i just didn't want to because i thought if i stopped bringing my dad into every situation that my world would end. but, as soon as i stopped bringing dad into everything and waiting for him, my life became better and i didn't think of him everywhere i went. and i was so much happier knowing that i could live without him and that i no longer had to wait for someone who was never going to come back..." rob was exhausted, not of his girlfriend but of the pain she was putting herself through every single day

rob really did love jules but he didn't love that she couldn't let go of the woman that abandoned her. all because somewhere inside of her, there was still the little six-year-old jules that stood outside that front door in a cold houston chill waiting for her mommy to come home the very same evening she up and left.

"...you're right rob. i do know how to stop it and i don't want to stop it because if i do stop it, i feel like i'll never get the answers i deserved. the answers that that little girl all those years ago deserved...and i want answers rob, i want to know why she decided to leave! i want to know why she thought it was a good idea to just leave my family alone in the late night houston chill. i want to know what we did that made her leave us!" jules cried as rob softened immediately, not that he was fighting her or mad, he just hated seeing the hurt and pain that was still etched on his girlfriend's face

"i know babe but that's not healthy. and it's not going to do anything to actually help you, even though it may seem like closure, it's not actually going to help you, it's only going to make you fall into a deeper spiral of the what ifs," rob soothed as he pulled jules in for a hug as jules nodded her head

"yeah...you're right..." jules whispered as she sniffled and pulled out of the hug as she then saw all the boxes filled with everything that she and rob had brought with them to fill their new house with

"...well, how about we make this house a home? it shouldn't stay empty cause then that'll be boring.." jules smiled as rob's eyes lit up with joy as he nodded his head

"..that's an amazing idea, jules. i'd love to do that, let's start with this room we're in now and go from there..." rob smiled as jules nodded her head as her tears were gone and her joy had returned

even though today was a win, tomorrow was a whole nother story because she was always going to wait for her mom. but, right now, she didn't feel like she needed to because it was clear that right now, she wasn't going to come back. and jules was okay with that because she was with rob and in a new house where her mother wasn't.

she can't hear anything they're saying, she can't believe what is true. it doesn't make sense what they're saying, she can't see anyone but you.

in all of the supernatural storylines, jules had never really explored the storyline about her characters abandonment issues. and there was a reason for that. robert singer didn't want to put jules back into the position of when she was a child and her own mother abandoning her and she loved that and appreciated what robert did. but, since it was a major part of who she was as jules but also a major part of who her character in supernatural was, it would only make sense to let that part of her story be shared. so, jules begged and begged robert and andrew dabb to create that part of her character's story into a storyline for the next season and they actually said yes and jules was bursting with joy. she was so happy that she could finally tell this side of the story to her character whilst also not needing to stray too far away from her own self to make it seem authentic and believable.

her character, leigha watson, was a hunter alongside the winchester brothers, sam and dean, and angel castiel. leigha was the youngest of the group but she was the one with the most authority, what she said, goes. and for a while, dean didn't like that because he was the leader until he met leigha and he kinda fell in love with her. however, there was a huge secret that leigha was keeping from the boys and castiel. that she was abandoned by her mom at fourteen-years-old who covered it up by saying that she was leaving for a hunting trip and would only be gone for a week. and, after the week passed, it worried leigha and her family that their mom and wife still hadn't returned. so, leigha, the oldest of the kids went out to look for her mom in the place where she had told the family where her last known location was. however, mrs watson wasn't there but what was there was a note. and written on that note was mrs watson explaining and apologising. saying that she was sorry she lied but said she lied so no one would try to find her because she knew that if she didn't lie and told the truth her family would come looking for her. which, i'm sure you can guess, is not what mrs watson wanted. she didn't want to be found because she didn't want to be a mother or a wife anymore. she wanted to be a full time hunter and not worry about wondering whether or not she was doing a good job in keeping her husband and kids safe. so, she just decided the best thing was instead of leaving her job as a hunter that it would be safer if she just left her family and abandonded them instead.

and as you can imagine, this devastated leigha and her family. it caused so many fights in her family that it broke the family up. to the point where the older children, excluding leigha, left and the youngest and leigha stayed with their father. that was until leigha had to leave since she wanted to become a hunter just like her mom. and, also because she hoped that if she became a hunter that she would run into her mom. however, leigha was still waiting for the day she'd run into her mom as it hadn't happened yet. and it discouraged her...

...that was...until she saw someone whilst on a hunt with the gang. and the woman she had seen looked exactly like her mom. she couldn't verify if it was her mom but, it gave leigha hope that it was her mom. and because she was so hyperfixated on the woman that could be her mother, she couldn't hear anything that the boys were shouting at her. she couldn't believe what the potential truth could be. the truth that she could have found her mom, finally, after over a decade of looking.

sam, dean and cas all kept on trying to get her attention but it fell on deaf ears as they watched the way leigha tried to see if she could look at the older woman's face. because that was the only thing she could see. she couldn't see anyone but her...

...until the woman turned around fully, her eyes widened and she ran away because she knew they were the hunters, the people trying to capture her because she was the monster they were hunting for. but, because leigha had full faith that it was her mom, she had no idea until she let it run away before realising that she was what they had been hunting for the entire time and now, she had just let her go.

"...i...i am so sorry guys..." leigha stammered as she knew how mad the boys would be at the fact that she let the monster go

"...it's fine, leigha...we're just worried about you, what happened back there? you are usually an amazing hunter but this trip tripped you up. what went wrong?" dean was worried as were sam and castiel, sure it was annoying that they lost this hunt, but it wasn't the end of the world

what they were catching wasn't anything like a wendigo or a dangerous changeling. it was just an angel that had lost her course of travel and all they were sent there to do was to guide the angel back on her course to wherever it was she needed to be. so, it wasn't a danger that they hadn't caught her and that she had been let free.

"i...i thought she was my mom..." leigha stammered as the boys looked at each other and then back at leigha in confusion

"...your mom? i thought you told us that she had died...that was definitely not your mom, leigha!" sam was shocked and confused as leigha scoffed a laugh and provided the truth

"i lied sammy. my mom's not dead, that i know of. she could very well be dead now but, i wouldn't know because she abandonded me and my family when i was fourteen. she covered it up with a lie, saying that she was going on a hunting trip and that she'd only be gone a week...obviously, that was a lie as by the time the week finished and she wasn't home by dinner time, i went out to what she told us was her last known location and found a letter in place of where she should have been...and she's been gone ever since and that was why i started hunting...because, if i went on a hunting trip, there was always a reason for me to believe that she could be on the same hunt that i was on and i'd see her again..." leigha trailed off as the boys watched on in sadness for their best friend

"...but you never came into contact with her even though you saw her in everyone you came into contact with..." sam finished as leigha nodded her head as she breathed out shakily, tears welling in her eyes at the memory of every hunt she had gone on just hoping she'd bump into her mom

"...yeah...that's about right..." leigha sniffled as dean pulled his lover in for a hug as the distraught girl mustered a smile

"...why didn't you tell us sooner sweetheart? we could've asked castiel to go and look for her..."

"...no, you couldn't have and i wouldn't have let you. i can't keep doing this and think that my mom's going to be there when i wait for her because she won't be there and i have to finally take that as a sign to stop waiting for her..." leigha trailed off as leigha faded away and the tears streaming down her face was jules' tears and it was jules' cheeks

the director called for a cut and jules was left to cry on her own on the sound stage as she had to pick up the pieces of herself that broke and had to start glueing them back together to fix the broken pieces of herself.

little girl hold on and wait, it's not fair the fairness is overrated. wait and you will be saved, the path it walks in this way.

jules smiled as cheers and laughter could be heard all around her as she sat onstage during a supernatural convention in texas but this time, it was san antonio so she wouldn't have to see her childhood home this time. it was nearing the end of her panel with rob, jared and jensen when a little girl all of a sudden shuffled up to the microphone.

"...wait, wait, guys, don't end the questions just yet, i am so sorry but, i think this little girl has a question..." jules felt bad for stopping the moderator who was about to halt all questions but, she saw a little girl walk near the microphone stand and it was obvious she had a question

and the moderator nodded her head and stayed at the microphone stand as the little girl made it, "...hello sweetheart, what's your name and what's your question?" jules asked softly, inching off her seat even more to see the little girl clearer

the little girl smiled with a shy energy to her as she breathed into the microphone, "my name is julianna and...and my question is for jules..." julianna, the little girl spoke in her little high-pitched voice as the crowd cooed, jules, rob, jensen and jared doing the same thing

"...hello julianna, what a beautiful name, did you know that's my full name? jules is just my nickname?" jules smiled at the little girl who lit up at hearing that she shared the same first name as one of her idols as she then started to ask her question

"well, my question is, i really loved the storyline about leigha's abandonment from her mom and i wanna know, what was it like for you to film since i know from watching it that it was very hard to watch as my mom also left me and my family so...i...i was just wondering if it was hard for you to film that or not..." julianna got teary at the end of her question as that broke jules' heart as rob, jensen and jared watched closely, their hearts breaking as well

julianna, the little girl only looked to be eight...maybe, just maybe nine but, if julianna was nine, nearing ten, she was awfully small for that age. and it broke jules' heart into two because whilst jules was a lot younger, six, when her mom left her and her family, when she was julianna's age, she was still very much struggling with the fact that she didn't have a mom to run to for help or even an older sister since she was the older sister in the family, she didn't have a girl older than her to run to for help.

"...oh honey, are you okay? do...do you need a hug?" jules stood up from her seat as she watched little julianna started to cry, no longer able to hold her tears in anymore as the audience stayed quiet

julianna nodded her head as she slightly stepped away from the microphone so it wouldn't pick up her little sobs. jules stepped down from the stage and walked the two steps to where the moderator and julianna was and picked the little girl up and hugged her tightly. it was obvious to rob, jared, jensen and the fans in the audience who knew jules' story, that she saw herself in little julianna and how unfair it was that she was still hearing these stories of little kids being abandonded and left behind by either one of or both of their parents. a few minutes later and little julianna had stopped crying, only little sniffles could be heard and jules was content in knowing that the little girl could go back to her seat back to her dad who had come to the convention with her. it was obvious that little julianna's dad had also been crying duirng that exchange because not only had julianna's mom abandonded her, julianna, but she had also abandonded her husband and the father of their children. so it wasn't shocking that little julianna's dad was also crying and it wasn't something that needed to be made into a scene either because it was a father having his heart break as his little girl tells her favourite group of actors that she can relate to one of the storylines in a tv show that technically, she is still too young to watch and comprehend properly. but, again, it's stories like these that jules and the rest of her cast mates hear on the daily that makes what they do nine months out of the year completely worth it in the end.

as little julianna went back to her seat, it only felt like now, that she was away from the microphone and with her dad, that jules felt like she could properly answer the question.

"well, julianna, to answer your question properly, i have to say, it was hard to film that because, just like you, i was also abandonded by my mother. i was a lot younger than you and way younger than leigha was as her mom abandonded her when she was fourteen whereas i was six when my mom left back home in houston. so, i was very, very young yet, i still felt like i was old enough that i could understand what was going on and that mom was leaving and never coming back. however, i feel like as i've gotten older, it's been harder to understand that my mom left and never came back. and, i remember when cut was called on that scene that ties up that abandonment storyline and i just remember i started crying. and, i couldn't distinguish if these were tears for leigha...like i couldn't tell if these were leigha's tears and emotion or if was jules' tears and emotion. and i say that because my last line in that episode regarding leigha's mom and it's after dean asks why leigha hadn't told them as they could have had castiel look for her as they were on the hunt where they were trying to find the lost angel and leigha goes, "no, you couldn't have and i wouldn't have let you. i can't keep doing this and think that my mom's going to be there when i wait for her because she won't be there and i have to finally take that as a sign to stop waiting for her." and, it just hit me in that moment that it was life imitating art imitating life because that was what i was needing to do. i was needing to stop myself from waiting for someone who i know is never going to be there for me..." jules trailed off as she smiled at the little girl and her father who clinged onto every single world jules had said but it was clear that they weren't the only ones, it looked as though the whole convention hall had clinged onto every single world and you could hear a pin drop

because it was unfair but if little jules could wait and this was the life she lived now, so could little julianna. because little julianna's life was going to change forever and in the best way and it was her mom's loss that she was never going to know about it or see it because she made the decision to leave rather than stay.

and meanwhile the house is empty, the floors lay, naked and weary. the walls barely hanging on, carry on and she waits for you.

jules hadn't ever been happier in her life. she had just found out that she was pregnant with her and rob's first baby. and the way she surprised rob was in the empty spare room at the end of the upstairs hallway that was next to their bedroom. the room, that used to lay naked and weary was now decorated from top to bottom with everything that had got to do with babies and having a baby. it was colourful, it was vibrant, it was happy. it reflected the new joy of jules becoming a mom after always being scared of being one since the only mom she ever knew was a mom that lied and eventually ran away, never to be seen again but always waited on. and that wasn't what jules wanted to be as a mom. she wanted to be a mom that told the truth, that stayed and was always one message or phone call away if help was needed, and a mom that didn't need to be waited on. a mom that didn't break her pinky promises.

"...jules? babe, where are you?" rob giggled as he entered the house after a long work day as jules bit her lip in excitement

"upstairs babe, in the spare room next to our bedroom," jules tried to hide the excitement in her voice but it was clear that it couldn't be hidden way as rob giggled

he made his way upstairs to the spare room that was always empty, with confusion as to why his wife was up there. but, because he was too tired to question it, he didn't. however, what he saw when he made his way into the room made so many questions fly through his head that it almost made him burst.

"wait...is this...are you pregnant, jules?" rob questioned as his eyes widened as jules bit her lip and nodded her head

"uh-huh! all five tests said positive!" jules burst into excited squeals and tippy taps as rob laughed in joy, pulling his wife in for a hug as tears welled in his eyes

"oh my gosh, baby, you're pregnant pregnant!" rob sobbed with a giggle as jules giggled and nodded her head

"mmm, i'm pregnant pregnant!" jules sighed with contentment as rob then relaxed his shoulders as he noticed that jules wasn't worried like she used to be

"and...you're not...worried?" rob questioned, pulling out of the hug as jules shook her head

"no, babe, oh my gosh no! i'm not worried at all. if this was happening at the beginning of our relationship or even the start of our marriage then, hell yes, i would be freaking out and thinking about not wanting it. but, because, i've stopped waiting for her and expecting her to be there when i know she won't, i feel so much better and i'm so excited rob. i'm so excited to be a mom and for you to be a dad..." jules sighed as she sat her and rob down on the bed as rob released all the stress he had just gave himself

"...i'm glad you're excited about this because you will be such an amazing mom, jules. i have no worries at all that what happened to you when you were a kid is not going to happen to this baby...to our baby. because i'm not going to leave this baby and you're not going to leave this baby, we've already broken the generational trauma to make sure it never ever happens again to the future children and their childrens children. we're doing a great thing here, jules and i cannot wait for it. if anything, we're no longer waiting for our deadbeat mom and dad but our little baby," rob smiled with tears in his eyes as jules nodded her head as she gave her husband a kiss

"we're waiting for our little benedict," jules whispered as rob nods his head as he then goes to his knees to kiss the non-existant baby bump

she waits for you, she waits

after waiting eight and a half months, in december on a cold evening in austin, texas during christmas with the padalecki's and ackles' families that jules gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. the baby girl was named tallulah eleanor benedict and was healthy at a steady five pounds and eight ounces.

hearing the cries of little tallulah sounded like the angels in heaven. whilst it may have been exhausting for jules and painful to deliver a baby into this world after it living in the womb for nearly nine months, it was still a beautiful thing. and something that jules and rob could definitely see themselves doing again if they wanted to give tallulah some siblings in the future. but, right now, tallulah had just arrived and it was all about her.

"...here she is, well done jules. you did an amazing job, does the father want to cut the cord?" the attending midwife turned to the husband as rob smiled and nodded his head

the midwife offered him the sheers and he cut the cord clean and perfectly as tallulah was properly swaddled up and returned to her mommy and daddy.

"isn't she just gorgeous, rob? we made her, we actually created an entire little human being!" jules muttered, clearly still loopy and delirious from her epidural as rob could only smile with teary eyes at his wife

"she's beautiful, jules, just like her mommy. and yes, we did make her, we made a gorgeous human being who looks like the perfect mix of her mommy and daddy!" rob smiled as he caressed both jules and then tallulah as the midwife returned

"sorry to disturb you mom and dad but, i think the godparents want to be introduced to their goddaughter..." the midwife smiled as rob smiled as did jules as they nodded their heads

although it was tradition for the grandparents to meet the new baby first, rob and jules didn't fly that why. of course, rob and jules both loved their singular parent, of course they did. but, because they had tallulah in austin, texas, not in either of the states that rob's mom and jules' dad currently were, it just made sense that the godparents and other uncles and aunties met baby tallulah first. since mrs benedict and mr holowitz were on flights over to austin which meant that it was still a few hours before they'd land in austin and then arrive to the hospital to then meet the baby.

which leads to the question that everyone was curious about and that was who the godparents to baby tallulah was. and, the godparents of tallulah are jared and gen as well as jensen and danneel. which, everyone should have theoretically seen coming but, it was still a shock when rob and jules announced it.

"...of course, they can come in," jules smiled as she sat her and baby tallulah up in the hospital bed as jared & gen and jensen & danneel walked in

the two couples were confused that all four of them were asked to come in rather than just one of the couples. but, they didn't argue and they all cooed in adoration for the new spnfamily baby.

"oh my gosh...jules, rob...she's gorgeous! what's little bubba's name?" gen cooed as she looked at the baby lovingly, danneel, jared and jensen doing the same

"thank you gen, her name's tallulah eleanor benedict..." jules trailed off as she looked down at the little girl she was cradling that was hers and her husbands

"...tallulah eleanor...that's such a perfect name for a perfect little princess!" gen cooed again as jared could tell his wife was getting baby fever even though they already had three kids as jensen could tell that danneel was trying hard to hide her own baby fever as well

"she's gorgeous jules but, why do you need all four of us in here? i thought you only needed the godparents..." jensen asked in confusion as jules and rob giggled as little tallulah wiggled and made little noises

"...exactly...all four of you are tallulah's godparents," jules smiled as they all looked at their best friend and castmate as though she had four eyes

"wait, that's allowed? i only thought only one couple were allowed to be a child's godparents..." jared trailed off in confusion as to be fair, he did have a fair point

"...technically, that is true and if there is any "paperwork" that needs only one pair of emergency contacts, it'll be you and gen, alright jared. but, if it needs a second pair of emergency contacts, that's where jensen and danneel come in and why i want tallulah to have two godmoms and two goddads cause she already has enough aunties and uncles..." jules trailed off as they all giggled but it was clear that it really touched both couples that they both had been chosen as tallulah's legal guardians if anything were to happen to jules and rob

"...well, she does have a lot of aunties and uncles and cousins but, that's the best way to do it. you wouldn't want to bring a kid up with no one around them," jared smiled as he moved over and hugged jules and placing his gigantic hand on baby tallulah's teeny tiny head

"that's very true, jared, very true," jules smiled in content as she looked at everyone around her plus the others in the waiting room and her dad and mrs benedict who were also on their way as well

she had never felt this amount of love before but she loved it but she loved her new baby girl the most. baby tallulah was what jules had been waiting for, not her mother.

- - -

okay phew, this was fun to write but i don't know if it's good i guess. mainly because i've never written about parental abandonment because i never experienced that. but, alas, i did enjoy writing this as, like i said, i do love "she waits" by louden swain and i have had this idea for a while but i just never knew how to write it or how it'll turn out. but, i am still proud of it.

ok bye ily xx

wc; 7233

#supernatural cast #rob benedict x jules #angst but happy ending #she waits #abandonment issues

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natescoloringbook · 6 months

Text

ADVENT DAY 5 🎄🎁✨ 2023

Buddy wants to come out with us today!

Today we were going to visit Eli’s Mom! The next time we see her will be Christmas eve. We also looked in a couple of shops while we were waiting on the bus in Glasgow.

My outfit and friend today

Wolfie is helping me pack

This was such a cool giant cracker. It came with coloring sheets, stickers, and a puzzle inside

This took literally ALL of my strength to not buy one of these

On the bus

When we were at Eli’s Moms we played a bit of Animal Crossing

never realised how detailed the inside of the dollhouse is!

This is what it looks like, funnily enough like 5 minutes later Bertha tried buying it off me ( I said no of course )

I had a plot needing filled in since Sherb moved out. But I’m quite picky with who can move in, because I hate having duplicates of personality types. I worked out that the only personality missing from my island was Smug, so I went through the list of smug villagers and the ones I liked were: Chadder, Julian, Henry, and Ed. I normally don’t have a lot of luck with villager hunting but today I did! Only on my second ticket I found Julian and I’m super happy to be able to have a unicorn on my island : D

Once we got home and had dinner we decided to exchange winter boxes. This was something we used to do on Christmas Eve but we decided to do them during the start of December these past few years – so we can get more enjoyment out of the things inside!

I did not get any pictures of what I got Eli…because I am silly. And he already is using his things so I don’t wanna wrangle them, but they were: Concert loop earplugs, hot chocolate bombs, checkered hot water bottle, fluffy liners for his Crocs, and orca Christmas pyjamas. Here are photos of what he got me!

I had to put these on immediately so I don’t have my own picture but these are AMAZING. I saw these in the shop not too long ago and fell in love with them because they’re sooo soft

This little rainbow goes in the microwave to make it warm

I absolutely freaked out when I saw him sitting at the bottom of the bag, I have wanted one of these for so long! And I think that the message he comes with makes him even so special. I’m not sure what his name will be yet

When we were out I bought a wine bottle sweater in hopes that it will fit Doggie, I am desperate for him to have clothes. I was in luck! It was an extremely tight squeeze ( as you can tell ) especially getting his arms in. But I am just so happy he has something : D

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