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cosmosrival · 4 years

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Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

#answered #long post #SORRY FOR THE BIG SCROLL.

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iggymani · 4 years

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I really don't understand why people feel the need to give their opinion on another country's situation (or lack thereof) if they don't even live in that country. And this is coming from an American socialist. The West's praise of communism is just as annoyingly disturbing as well. Anyway, if you're Bolivian and you say there was no coup, then there was no coup. It should be simple as that!

TL;DR: it’s not the opinions that really bother me its mostly non Bolivians discouraging actual Bolivians from giving their side of the story and speaking like they know their problems better than they do. I’m happy there’s an interest in my country and people are involved with talking about really complicated issues there but we can have better discussions.

Hello, thank you for this ask, Imma take this opportunity to give a pretty long and personal response about this. Honestly I’m glad that there even is a conversation about these issues, coming from my experience as a Bolivian that grew up in the US, most people I would speak to had never even heard of my country. To this day some people ask where it is or they know it’s in South America but have no clue where specifically or if it’s a European country lol.

When discussing Latino issues or celebrating Latino heritage Ive barely seen any representation of where I come from for most of my life. I feel like because much of Bolivian heritage and it’s history is so deeply rooted from our indigenous people I can’t relate to the general one dimensional box of “latinidad” that exists in the west and in turn we’re too “exotic” by those standards and stereotypes that were simply not seen, heard or spoken of much. For me seeing people like Lupita Nyong’o or Yallitza Aparicio in the spotlight and diversifying people’s perceptions of what it means to be Latino and open up conversations for issues that get rarely talked about is so important. And I’ve never seen such an interest in Bolivian politics or it’s indigenous people before and it’s awesome to see.

Now my biggest issue is seeing a lot of people who for most of their lives had barely had much education or much less a thought on Bolivia in general, and speak like they have more of an authority on these issues than people actually living in the country. A lot of these people also come from a completely different frame of reference with their ideologies and in reaction to the governments that affect them (particularly Americans) and I don’t think it necessarily translates well when it comes to certain global issues like this.

Bolivians who are trying to have a voice in this are trying to give their experiences and insight, and their lives are affected everyday by this. They have the context for a lot of these complicated factors like race, culture, religion, social and political power dynamics, corruption and the way a post colonized Bolivian society copes and progresses. I see a lot of them get labeled as CIA shill and get verbally attacked and insulted and I think it’s very unproductive and even dangerous to discourage them from participating in the conversation.

I usually don’t voice my opinions but during the second round of elections recently I’ve been much more engaged in this stuff. This is very very personal to me, It concerns the future of my country, the lives of the people there, my family, my friends, their families. I’ve been following the situation since 2019 when my family and every Bolivian I knew in the DMV area and in Bolivia were protesting against the fraudulent election. I’ve been hearing whats been going on from inside the country and the events unfolding as they happen. And I’ve been seeing a completely different story outside of Bolivia. So idk I feel compelled to give my two cents even if people don’t like it, and I’ve been considering maybe compiling a bunch info, maybe write some essay type posts and make another tumblr for it? lol but I’m just a guy in my early 20’s trying to pay bills and eat that’s cares about his country. With something like politics charged with so many other problems I understand why people are so passionate, but regardless of the opinions I just feel like better conversations can be had and if people are learning more about where I come from that makes me happy.

#Bolivia #my thoughts

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neuropathicgypsy · 4 years

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Mark confessed and Boss backed him up with the actual information...

I need an aortic valve replacement, the cardiologist said 4 years ago, i would need it 2 years ago if my heart didn't improve.

He asked the cardiologist not to tell me, probably with a gun. Because i wouldn't have the surgery.

But i had signed a DNR at the Cardiologist. So I'm pretty sure it wasn't that difficult to convince them.

I don't have a DNR anywhere else. Just the cardiologist.

I don't want heart surgery. I wss born with a cognitive defect.

Its the part that pumps the deoxygenated blood. The "impure" blood. The aorta is called Pisces in one diagram.

Pisces symbol is a fish. Christians use a fish to represent Jesus.

Baby there ain't no Jesus. That's a bad story.

You gotta change your ways. We can't be forgiven. We gotta be the best we can.

I was born knowing the system of Jesus was broken and I've had to take medicine nearly my whole life.

We can't breathe. People always I'll rape you. I'll beat you. Jesus will forgive me. Ill kidnap today repent tomorrow.

Baby. Jesus wants to stab you to death with your his own cross. You don't even wait for Jesus to forgive. Just demand and expect it

Jesus don't want to baby.

Jesus simply won't.

As humans we can't. Maybe it wasn't my time to be born yet but if we waited it would been worse. So God said, Go on little lamb, see if you can survive.

I can't.

I don't want any surgery. Ive always said that. Its God's job to take care of my heart when no one else will.

Its not about forgiveness or me doing something bad.

Its just being able to survive on Earth. There's nothing wrong with my soul. Just our planet.

Our Planet is such bad shape. I couldn't even watch from Heaven. I couldn't take it anymore. I knee what to do.

So God takes care of my heart when no one ekse will. But he tells us that its not taken care of enough.

I, like anyone else, represent a statistical portion of the humans on Earth. And none of our hearts can bear another day.

That is my job. And so as you know i fight for all of us. For all of our hearts and all of our lives.

My heart not willing to pump unpure blood. Its not bad. Ita just a little scary for some people. Because they don't understand the difference bet5good and evil

But that is my job because my body pumps the pure blood very well. I don't want anything unpure in my heart.

I don't want anything unpure in yours. Like Pablo Escobar, i asked him to pray rightfully not righteously. I gave him many reminders.

Maybe that is why his body is still so lifelike after all these years. Idk.

But expecting God to take care of his own creation -- me, is the opposite of expecting someone else such as Jesus, a human, a peer, an equal to take care of you or to forgive you.

To forgive: an error must have occurred then understanding of what went wrong then the ability to stop making the same error and then the action of stopping all must occur before forgiveness can.

That is the only acceptable definition.

Mark thought I would be angry for hiding I would need a new valve in my heart.

I'm more angry that I need the new valve -- that he knew I would need it if a change in my life did not occur and the only thing to heal a heart is love and peace.

I wouldn't need a new valve if my heart was filled with proper love and joy. But it isn't. Its empty. Filled with only what I can manage to fill it with.

Only my daughter to help me. And she has no answers to the last 35 years of my life. Or who her father even is.

She takes heart medication, too. Mostly preventive i tell myself. But I know the signs. I know her iron deficiency and what it will do to the heart. What it has.

If I get cancer I won't take chemotherapy. It doesn't make sense. Posion the entire body to kill something inside what God made. Or what God possibly did make. I've seen chemotherapy first hand. I was 18 years old. I decided then i would never put my body through that

I would elect radiation therapy but that is all.

Chemotherapy is man made like meth

Radiation is all over this world So its more like cocaine or may be crack.

Cocaine/crack or meth? Coke thanks

For why torture a body to live a life you don't even want to be in a body for?

No one wants to live through chemotherapy -- i mean besides the obvious point of living -- but the pain akd suffering of the chemotherapy they only choose to live.

I would rather die. If God chose not to keep me alive for a weird growth then for why fight?

Why allow a monster inside my body to nearly kill my insides just to live?

That I don't understand.

I have had to take heart medication since I was 5 years old. So I have a different way of seeing things

I think people who do take chemotherapy are brave and deserve to live a good life. For their pain amd suffering. But for me. It's not something i can choose.

I decided that for myself.

For my daughter I decided I would take radiation therapy. Because it's concentrated on the certain areas the tumor is, applied through the skin and muscles not the blood stream. To help me be healthy for her.

Side effects are a sunburn. And being radioactive.

A nuclear bomb could go off tomorrow and we would all be radioactive. Its happened.

So I can handle that.

Heart surgery in a world that doesn't have enough love for me?

No thanks.

Don't even tell me

He did the right thing, telling the doctor he would do Nothing to prevent my need for a valve replacement.

It would just made me even more angry and damaged it even more. And I probably would had died.

Because what he did do, send me to a world full of clones and not protect me, not tell me the truth.

It nearly killed me. My heart stopped so many times it's why i went to the cardiologist.

He lied to me and told me he Didn't want me so i went rooting around to try to help him.

And landed in the most evil place I've ever seen.

And he was not any better, encouraged evil with Mike Andrews who did want to kill me. Knew he wanted to kill me. And he took him to my house.

But these people actually wanting to help me, he abuses them and lies to me.

Why Mark?

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joshhutchsource · 7 years

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Josh Hutcherson AMA Transcript

This is the transcript from Josh’s AMA on Reddit on February 16th, 2017. All spelling and grammar errors are as written by the original people This is very long, so the majority is under a read more.

Q: Do you miss working with the Hunger Games cast?

Josh: yes... they were the best! family forever. i miss them all dearly... however we still hang now and then and keep in touch.

Q: Hi! What's your favorite television show to watch?

Josh: the Bob Ross painting show... i can benge for hours

Q: Hey Mr. Hutcherson, is there any actor (that you have not yet worked with) that you wish to work with someday?

Josh: so many.... joaquin phoenix is up there for sure.

Q: Hi Josh, You got second class treatment from Rosemary Telesco and continued with Katniss Everdeen. Does it hurt your feelings?

Josh: hahaha.... life imitates art…

Q: What do you define as your first "big break" into acting and that business?

Josh: For me my first ever job was personally my big break.. I was 9 and I held a goat in the backgroud for a bible study video in ohio.... everyone starts somewhere…

Q: How do you go about choosing a script that you want to work on, both for this project and other professional work?

Josh: I want originality. Characters that are bold and have clear voices. i also want to push the boundaries of what reality is.

Q: Hey Josh! What is the craziest encounter you've had with a fan?

Josh: i had two girls and their mom show up at my door a few years ago during christmas with my family..... that was..... awkward. Im not answering the door next time. Haha

Q: do you think 2017 is going to be a good year?

Josh: hard to believe it can be... however I feel like so many people are getting involved that werent before... this is a moment when people feel energized.

Q: If you had not been an actor, what profession would you have done?

Josh: i like building stuff... and i like photography... maybe building stuff and taking pictures of it... if thats a job

Q: Because Im sure you get the same questions over and over - what's your favorite day of the week, and why?

Josh: Thursday... not becuase im here... but because i like how the word looks. and wednesday is finally over.

Q: JOSH is there anything you couldn't live without?

Josh: my freedom of speech and gluten

Q: your favorite song at this moment?

Josh: Lazarus by David Bowie

Q: Why were you such a little bitch in the hunger games ?

Josh: i prefer other words... however this little bitch survived. so... yeah.

Q: Which country do you think is the safest in a zombie apocalypse?

Josh: Iceland... no doubt. Zombies hate Byjork

Q: What's your idea of a successful person. What would make someone successful in your eyes?

Josh: A person who is comfortable in their skin... I'm defintely not. I have gotten better as time goes on but someone who is and who is genuine is successful for me.

Q: Do you have any advice for someone dealing with depression?

Josh: I'm not certified to answer this sort of thing. However I go back to perception. As well as really find what you care about and express it. film, music, walking... whatever it is that you can connect with is what i try to lose myself in.

Q: i feel like, in my mind, i always associate you with the jungle. Why is that?

Josh: that really makes me smile. I love the jungle and i feel a part of it often. thank you.

Q: hi josh, I'm not very good at english so I can't write a good question but do you like mango?

Josh: yes... im human. never trust someone who doesnt

Q: What do you think about Darren Aeronosfsky as a director?

Josh: I think hes great... requiem is on point!!

Q: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Josh: here in this ama.

probably isolated somehwere thinking of ideas of things to make movies about. I dont know!!!! cant think that far ahead honestly.

Q: in ten words can you describe your experience directing "Ape"?

Josh: BEst experience of my life creatively hello cars cat apples

Q: What's your favorite food?

Josh: Skyline Chili... Only available in the greater Cincy area…

Q: You still here? And if so, what do you think of the Oscar contenders this year?

Josh: Moonlight!!! That movie was incredible. I also really loved LA LA Land. those two really stood out for me. so many great performances though. Denzel was on point!

Q: Donald Trump or President Snow ?

Josh: I mean... one in the same right?

Q: How are Driver and Manchi?

Josh: they are the loves of my life.... I worship them. I believe they are quite happy. they get plenty of love and attention!

Q: ‼️‼️‼️ BERNIE SANDERS !!!! ❗️❗️❗️❗️

now that i got your attention,

Do you watch TV SHOWS ? If yes which one

You are such an inspiration to me. After almost 10 years as a fan, im really proud of you and everything you've achieved! I cant wait to watch ALL your upcomings projects and you are such an AMAZING human being Joshua. Thank you for everything. Seeing you in Paris in 2015 was the best moment of my life, i hope i will see you again and talk with you. Please don't forget your fans, we love you so much. (We missed you so much) Will you ever come back in France? :)

Josh: THANK YOU!! that made my day=] I love france and would love to come back!

I do watch some tv... not so so much. I really love GIRLS. that show is so perfect in so many ways. Ive never seen a show that feels more flawed and honest like that one. Best characters ever.

Q: Really wanna know if you'll keep supporting Bernie although the election is over?

Josh: ABSOLUTELY. we must. things are crazy now but we need to vote in local elections and keep our voices loud. I miss the days when Bernie was a real option…

Q: Hey Josh! Congrats on your director debut of "Ape." Were there things you did differently as an actor because you were also the director? How did it change your perspective?

Josh: it was hard... I liked it a lot but it was tough because i couldnt watch the monitors obviously so i had to make notes in my mind while acting in the scene... i realy liked this experience though and i have somehow even more respect for directors than before.

Q: Do you believe in a real life happy ending? If yes, what would you tell someone who kind of lost hope?

Josh: I think a happy ending is possible. I really believe its all about perception. If you can learn to manage that then you can find ways to be happy all the time

Q: HEY JOSH! I'm so glad you have finally done an AMA!

What advice would you give you're teenage self when entering the theatre/acting community?

Josh: thick skin. actors are the most insecure and insane types of people... with that you need to have thick skin to deflect the dissapointment and let downs and judgements.

Q: Do you want to repeat the experience as a director??

Josh: No doubt. I loved it. its extremely addictive and Im feining fo some mo.

Q: Hi Josh ! How are you ? Will there be a French subtitled version for Ape ? I'm a French fan :) Thank you !

Josh: oui... i think.

Q: Yooo RV was a dumpster fire of a movie...that being said, how awesome was it to work with Robin Williams??

Josh: hahahahah! Robin is a saint... biggest heart in the world and never a dull moment. he was the best.

Q: What kind of movies would you like to direct in the future?

Josh: I like stuff that bends reality and questions the human condition... bending the rules. I love films like being john malkovich and eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

Q: Hey Josh! What's your all time favorite movie or a movie you think everyone needs to see?

Josh: Two for the Road. 60's film that was way ahead of its time and has inspried so many modern love stories. its great!

Q: Hello, Josh! As an aspiring filmmaker, I know how tedious making any sort of film can be. What gets you motivated to create? Also, what’s your favorite snack? Cause, duh, snacks are some of the best motivators.

Josh: Honestly I think i get inspired when i see a dope movie... like when i saw moonlight i just wanted to go out and create something personal and important.

Also sitting in a restaurant looking around and making up stories about the people...

Snack..... kale. Fuk off kale!! frosted flakes

Q: JOSH. Huge fan, you're awesome, yadda yadda ;)

You're such a strong ally to the LGBT community. How did you get involved with your organization, Straight But Not Narrow? What is your advice to the community in the wake of certain political events?

Josh: We started SBNN becuase it felt like there was a lack of outreach to bridge communities together... especially in schools where bullying is brutal. I think now more than ever showing your support to your neighbors is paramount in surviving whats going on.

We are all here and human

Q: What was it like working with Mark Ruffalo?

Josh: Hes the best guy in the world. I love that human!

Q: Josh! Favorite 80's movie?

Josh: Lost Boys

Q: Do you have any directorial advice?

Josh: prepare!! Its so important to know what you want to make so when youre there on set you have it all set up.

The script is the absolute base for everything. understad it inside and out.

Q: Hi Josh!

You and I went to the same school, and you even lived in the same neighborhood as some of my close friends. We’ve never met because you always looked like you wanted privacy and I wanted to respect that, plus I’m a shy person who wouldn’t have known what to say. I’ve always wondered if you felt like you sort of missed out on your high-school experience, and if that impacted you on a social and mental level.

I’m trying to pursue my dream of becoming a published author, but sometimes I just feel like it’s never going to happen and that I’ll never be successful in the only thing that I’m passionate about. What advice would you give to someone who’s been told over and over again to give up their dream and focus on a more practical plan for their life?

Thanks for doing this AMA! It’s really awesome seeing someone from Union doing what they love!

Josh: I think that going for something different in life is for sure the most important thing to do... FUCK THE HATERS!

Only you can stop yourself from going for it.

that should be on an inspirational cat poster...

Q: How would you beat up Donald trump?

Josh: With knowledge.... it seems to be his biggest weakness…

Q: Would you rather be attacked by 50 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

Josh: One horse sized duck.... no question... Ive seen some big ass ducks…

Q: What are the kind of things you learned while working your blockbuster role in "The Hunger Games Trilogy"?

Josh: TEAMWORK. we had massive crews and it is not possible without all that.

Q: Josh Do you have any Tips for a Happy life?

Josh: Inner happiness... you wont find it in anything else in the world. thats the only way to get by and be happy

Q: what is the number one thing on your bucket list?

Josh: go to patagonia…

Q: Was this role challenging for you to play and how do you think you did?

Josh: It definitely was challenging... its a deep and dark place to go to and I like tapping into that side of myself... I think I did alright... Im my hardest critic

Q: It's so easy to hack me because all of my passwords are your name, what do you think about that?

Josh: Its kinda dope,... maybe try changing it for a bit?

Q: What is your favorite horror movie?

Josh: I really like It Follows... and classics like the shining of course... some chronenburg stuff too... butchered that spelling

Q: Is it harder to be an actor or a director?

Have you thought about being in another large franchise such as the hunger games?

Josh: Hmmm. I would say that directing definitely requires a shit ton more focus and work!!! Id say thats more challenging for sure

Q: Are you looking forward to doing the full length APE?

Josh: YES!!! The plan is to fastrack this into production after the short comes out. the feature is even deeper and darker... gonna be weird…

Q: If Peeta tried to fight you, could real life you take him down?

Josh: fuck yeah!!! well... maybe not. I have a ferocious side that I can tap into.

Q: Hi Josh (my brothers name too) What is the most Hollywood thing you have done/seen so far?

Josh: dont ever come to hollywood for a vacation... its tacky and nothing like they make it seem. Hah.

Q: There's definitely a theme of dealing with mental health issues in your film. Is this something you've dealt with personally?

Josh: There have been moments where I've questioned my mental state... haven't gone too far down that road but I think it's beyond interesting to try to empathize and deal with people who are dealing with those.

Q: hey josh! the other night i was really high and felt like i was you. did you feel it too?

Josh: Wait... was that monday?? I felt something then…

Q: Hi,

What is your dream role, if you could have any in the world, and what is your dream directorial role (genre, plot, cast to direct)? If you had to pick one of these, dream role or dream directing opportunity, which would you prefer to do?

Now this is the obligatory thank-you part that I could not pass up the opportunity to post, considering how much your LGBT+ work has meant to me:

I figured this would be a good opportunity to send some well-deserved thanks your way and hope you see it…! This idea of wanting to thank you started in a letter I started writing a good few years ago now… which I still happen to have in my bedside table, because it never got sent. (I don’t think I ever figured out where to send fan-mail to you, which didn’t help my cause.)

I don’t remember, when I was younger, knowing of any out actors. I’m 20 now, but up until my mid-teens, there was a big blank space around the ideas of ‘LGBT+’ and ‘the world’ being connected for me. I’ve known I was gay since I was 11, but the experience was very isolating, not knowing any gay people in real life. I had no foundation to go on, no experience in this, and obviously felt as though I couldn’t talk with anyone about it, even though I remember very few support-type services.

I remember seeing you in Zathura (my Dad loves Jumanji, so it was bound to happen) and ever since then, I think I’ve just sort of stuck with you. I must have seen that movie when I was about 12/13, and I think that’s when I started to hear what it was you were saying, because I noticed it was relevant to me. I followed what you were saying, and as I got older and more aware of myself and the world, it really started to have an impact on me. I felt as though that was my connection, as though that was my way of learning partly about who I was.

Even though you weren’t gay, the fact that you were only a few years older than me and were into the things and the field I also enjoyed really helped me relate to you. Because I related to you and because you actually meant something to me, the message you seemed so passionate about really resonated with me and it gave me a sort of courage and hope I don’t think someone older (or just generally someone whom I didn’t look up to) would have been able to instil. For the first time, someone I liked and someone I respected was talking about this thing I wasn’t able to share with anyone else. And they were a proper force in the ‘wider world.’

I never really struggle with ‘being gay,’ but I struggled with what other people might have thought, and again your dialogue helped with that. It was just so amazing to see someone whom I respected acting in a way that showed me he would treat me and people like me just as he would any other person. Even though it wasn’t a two way conversation between us, I felt that because you were a person with such a big stature who was brave enough to say this in public, that surely you knew people like me were out there and you were at least partially talking to us.

In the big scheme of things, I didn’t have it as hard as some others do, and I never want to take that for granted. My parents are relatively liberal and Australia is an OK climate to LGBT+ in. But I still found that it was hard to relate who I was with something bigger, and it was scary thinking about whether I would have to start a journey of discovery (not just self-discovery, but a discovery of ‘everything LGBT+’ I suppose you could say) on my own. Simply said, you helped me bridge the gap that I think sometimes people forget exists, even for young LGBT+ people in “supportive” environments. Just because they’re supportive doesn’t mean they’re informative or comfortable.

Nowadays, I’m so happy when I see younger celebrities come out, because I know how much that visibility and that platform means to young LGBT+ kids who simply want to see someone like them on television or in the media. Ellen Page, Charlie Carver, Tom Daley, Troye Sivan, Gus Kenworthy, etc, are all fantastic people that I just know will help make all the difference in someone’s life, as you did in mine.

So, all in all, I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done and continue to do for me and everyone else like me! I think it’s fair to say you’re not just an ally, but a friend too. I hope one day I get to shake your hand and thank you in-person for what you’ve done.

(...well this is the most personal thing I've ever written on this website.)

Josh: Of course! I think its beyond important to give people their voice and fair shot at what they want from life. GET OUT OF THE WAY HATERS!

Only light can drive out dark.

#Josh Hutcherson #interview #Reddit #Reddit AMA

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marketwatchblog-blog · 4 years

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health-and-felicidad · 5 years

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'Hospital Diversion' Is Perfectly Legal and Putting People at Risk. Here's What You Need to Know

When California resident Mike Robinson woke up in the emergency room in late 2001, he immediately knew something was different. Robinson has severe epilepsy, and this wasn't the first time he'd wound up in the hospital without knowing precisely how he had gotten there.

In the past, however, the surroundings were familiar. That's because he had always been taken to the same hospital; his health insurance company at the time had asked him to designate a preferred facility, and he chose the one that his regular healthcare providers were affiliated with. He felt comfortable there—or at least as comfortable as one can feel when coming out of a major seizure.

This time, however, he was taken somewhere new. Robinson recalls fading in and out of consciousness in the ambulance and hearing someone say that they were "rerouting." He later learned that when the paramedics radioed his preferred hospital to say they were on the way, they were directed to bring him elsewhere. "It was a Saturday night, and they were overloaded," he tells Health.

RELATED: 6 Things That Can Trigger a Seizure Even if You Don't Have Epilepsy

The practice of turning away ambulances is known as "ambulance diversion" or "hospital diversion," and it happens in many cities across the country. The typical scenario: A hospital is so jammed with patients that it can't accommodate any more, so administrators decide to declare the ER essentially closed to new patients coming in via ambulance. Paramedics are directed to bypass the facility in favor of another one, and while they aren't required to honor that request, they usually do.

Sometimes that switch goes smoothly, but it can also have serious consequences.

After waking up in an unfamiliar location, Robinson says that he ended up having to fight off a nurse who was trying to catheterize him (no matter that he was capable of urinating on his own), then argued with a doctor who grilled him about his mental status. The key problem, he says, was that the staff did not initially believe he had epilepsy, despite the fact the he wore a medical ID tag around his neck. Given their typical patient population, they assumed he was a drug addict or having some sort of psychiatric episode. In the meantime, he was not getting the treatment he needed.

Feeling frustrated and worried that his health was in jeopardy, Robinson ripped an IV out of his arm and checked himself out against medical advice. He popped a rescue medication he always carried with him, which prevented him from having a subsequent seizure.

Wisconsin resident Tiffany Tate was not as lucky. When she had a stroke in 2014, bystanders assumed the ambulance would take her to the nearest hospital, which happened to be certified as a Comprehensive Stroke Center. But that's not what occurred, because that hospital was on diversion.

Tate's ambulance brought her to a different hospital a few miles away that was not properly equipped to treat her, according to USA Today. She was then transferred to yet another hospital, but by the time she arrived hours had passed. That created a dangerous scenario, because when you're having a stroke, starting treatment promptly is crucial. ("Time is brain," is a common saying when it comes to strokes, since the longer you wait to restore normal blood flow, the more brain cells are lost.)

Tate eventually died.

RELATED: I Was a 26-Year-Old Healthy New Mom When I Suffered a Brain Stem Stroke With No Warning

How could this happen?

Ambulance diversion is controversial yet perfectly legal, at least in most states. According to federal law, if you walk into a hospital on your own and request emergency care, the hospital is required to stabilize you. Yet there is no such nationwide policy that says hospitals can't instruct ambulances to take patients elsewhere.

According to a 2006 study in the Annals of Emergency Medicine, 45% of the emergency departments in the US had gone on diversion status at least once in the previous year. More recently, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, who also reported on Tate's story, conducted an investigation of the 25 largest cities in the country and found that 16 of them allow some level of ambulance diversion.

Last year, when Rhode Island resident Bob Kumins started having chest pain, his ambulance was diverted away from the closest two hospitals; fortunately, he survived. In 2017, Las Vegas resident Lawrence Quintana died after having a stroke; the ambulance that arrived at his home was diverted from the nearest hospital to a facility 70 miles away.

These are just a few examples of patients who've been affected by diversion. No one knows exactly how often diversion occurs, because there's no central organization dedicated to tracking diversion policies. "But I think it's safe to say that it's still relatively common across the country," David Tan, MD, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis and president of the National Association of EMS Physicians, tells Health.

The effect diversion has on a given community can also vary widely. In some instances, a hospital might only be on diversion for a short period or on partial diversion—say, because the CT scanner isn't working. In that situation, it might make sense for a hospital to tell EMS not to bring in trauma patients or anyone with a suspected stroke. But it's also possible for a hospital in a highly populated area to go on full diversion status for hours, and the spillover could end up creating a domino effect: One ER reaches maximum capacity, ambulances start bringing patients to the next one until it gets full, then that one goes on diversion, and so on.

Pamela Portnoy-Saitta, DO, an emergency room physician in Long Island, New York, admits that diversion can be problematic but notes that it's not a clear-cut issue. "If someone having a stroke goes to the closest hospital [despite it being overcrowded], would she be seen sooner? Maybe," she tells Health. "We have a triage system and stroke patients are suppose to be seen 'first'... but then again, so are trauma patients and those with chest pain and those who are showing signs of sepsis." (According to the American College of Emergency Medicine, patients who should be seen in less than 14 minutes per guidelines are already often being seen in 37 minutes, due to hospital overcrowding.)

A related issue, says Dr. Tan, is that EMS workers can't just drop a patient at the door of the ER and take off. This has become a major problem in Florida, as so-called "wall time"—the period in which paramedics are sitting around in hospital hallways with a patient on a stretcher, waiting for hospital personnel to take over—has increased and led to dangerous delays. More EMTs who are stuck babysitting patients in hallways means fewer emergency workers available to attend to the needs of the next person who calls 911.

RELATED: 5 Times You Really, Seriously Need to Go to the ER

No quick fixes

Some cities have decided on their own to get rid of ambulance diversion. "Where I live, in the greater St. Louis area, the hospital presidents got together many years ago and agreed to eliminate it," says Dr. Tan. But he notes that ending diversion, whether by choice or by official mandate, won't happen unless other measures designed to deal with overcrowding are addressed simultaneously. One important key is that most hospitals can't successfully end diversion on their own; coordinated strategies, in which medical centers in the same area work together to solve overcrowding issues, tend to be more effective.

How to set the ball in motion? Pressure from the public is one possible starting point. In St. Louis, during peak flu season, "ambulances would literally be driving in circles around the city looking for a hospital to take their patients," says Dr. Tan. "When that hit the news media, the hospital administrators got very embarrassed and said, 'No more.'"

Waiting for hospitals to make changes themselves, however, doesn't always work. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health (DPH) spent a decade encouraging hospitals to voluntarily limit diversion, but when that failed, they didn't give up: They declared an official ban. In 2009, Massachusetts became the first state to ban ambulance diversion.

The Massachusetts DPH warned hospitals about the new policy 6 months before it was scheduled to go into effect, which provided some time to prepare. The agency also offered advice about how hospitals might reconfigure their current processes in light of the impending change.

"DPH made several recommendations to hospitals, including examining internal hospital systems to be certain that they are configured for maximally efficient patient flow," Marita Callahan, director of policy in the DPH's Bureau of Health Care Safety and Quality, tells Health. Hospitals were also urged to "approach the problem of boarding patients as a hospital-wide problem, rather than only a problem in the [emergency department," she says.

It's very important to think about hospital overcrowding vs. emergency department overcrowding, adds Dr. Tan. "When hospital throughput has slowed because of overbooked operating rooms, too many elective procedures, etc., we can't move patients out of the ER and admitted to the hospital because it's already full," he explains.

RELATED: The Story of the Hospital Staffers Who Took Photos of a Patient's Genitals Raises Questions About Privacy and Security

A model for change

When Massachusetts' ban went into effect, some concerned parties worried that it would lead to massive increases in overcrowding and wait times in the emergency room. But that isn't what happened: A 2013 study determined that "there was no increase in [emergency department] length of stay or ambulance turnaround at 9 Boston-area [emergency departments.]" Some hospitals even became more efficient at moving patients through the system, researchers reported.

Kim Moriarity, RN, director of emergency services at Lawrence General Hospital in Lawrence, MA, tells Health that spending some time identifying the "weakest links" made it much easier to successfully end diversion at her busy hospital than anyone had anticipated. Communication was key. "The emergency room would be drowning [in patients] and nobody else knew," she says. Now when the ER gets crazy, other departments are looped in; nurses who normally work on internal floors are summoned to help in the ER, and any extra beds (such as in the ICU, which Moriarity says is rarely full) get utilized.

Lawrence General also hired additional staff and rejiggered schedules to better match the demand. "It sounds unpredictable, and we do have a rogue day here and there, but the number of arrivals [in the ER] per hour per day is pretty steady," says Moriarity. Meanwhile, the hospital changed the standard discharge time: Patients now leave before noon to avoid late-day backups, and everyone focuses on getting patients to where they need to be as quickly as possible. "If you're admitted and going to have surgery this afternoon, we'll send you to the pre-op area now," she says, rather than having you wait in the ER.

While hospitals in other states may benefit from implementing similar strategies, an individualized approach is important. "There's no specific prescription for how to solve the problem," says Dr. Tan, because individual hospitals and communities have unique challenges. However, he does believe that it's a issue that can—and should—be tackled on a local basis: A position statement from the group he leads, the National Association of EMS Physicians, urges hospitals and EMS agencies around the country to explore ways to "limit the time that ambulances are out of service because of diversion or offload delay."

At Dr. Tan's hospital in St. Louis, ending diversion went along with some physical changes to the facility: A larger emergency waiting room was created, along with a bigger triage area. The hospital also hired more staff. "I believe it's a best practice model," he says. "Ambulance services and hospitals need to work together to find solutions."

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source https://www.health.com/mind-body/hospital-diversion

#health #mind #body #fitness

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gocasualrunawaycollection-blog · 6 years

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Can you give me an educated guess on how much it would be per month or 6/mo to insure an 18 year old boy on a 2005-2009 Mustang GT? Can Military service lower/raise the rates?

How much would insurance cost for a 16 year old to own a 2002 BMW 330i?

I'm 16 and was wondering how much (about) it would cost for me to insure my 2002 BMW 330i. Doesn't have to be exact because I know there are plenty of factors.. Just ABOUT how much. Additionally, I dont want any answers like oh you'll just crash it. Give me a legit answer.""

Car insurance first time owner?

Hi, I'm an international student with USA drivings license in Fl. I'm covered by my boyfriends car insurance company in order to drive his car but that's everything what I have as insurance. I'm on my way on buying a new car and I don't know what to do. Because I have my driving's license for an less than year the rates are pretty high. Almost 500$ for a month. Does anybody know any cheap insurance company that will help me to overcome this obstacle and moreover is there any other trick that I can use in order to reduce the rates. Thank you in advance.""

Is car insurance issued in one province valid in another?

I can't afford insurance in Ontario. The basic rates for males under 25 are the highest in all of north america. I was thinking of changing my legal address to Manitoba to apply for their insurance whilst forwarding all my mail to my actual address. I can't take public transit, I live and study in the suburbs. I'd also have to bike 20kms each way to work otherwise. I was quoted between 6000-8000$ /year despite no accidents,tickets and choosing a relatively cheap car to insure.""

On average how much does home insurance cost?

Or if you could help me out further, how much would home insurance normally run on a $200,000 house?""

What would my annual insurance be on a 2007 Honda Cbr 125?

I just turned 16, recieved my M1, Got a bike (125 cbr), going for my M2 in acouple days. Havent placed insurance on the bike yet. Im wondering what my annual cost will be with low coverage ect (lowest possible)""

Where can I get affordable healthcare?

I am a Iraqi war veteran with a serviced connected disability of 50%. I would like to find good health care for my wife a full time student that is affordable. I have done searches in places like www.eHealthInsurance.com and the insurance is either really expensive or it doesn't cover much which could make things expensive. Any suggestions would be great.

Free car insurance quotes?

are these qoutes accurate or could the price they give you actually be lower then what the free quote says?

Car insurance for students UK?

My son is on my car insurance as a named driver. He's 19 and held a clean licence for 2 years. However, he's off to university in September and will only use my car when home...probably only for the odd day here and there. Is there any insurance company who will add him as a named driver for a few days each time he comes home thus enabling me to go back to my usual extremely low payment? I'm a 50 something driver with a totally clean licence and max no-claims.""

The average price of the Mazda RX8 insurance?

Ive been searching for cars, and Ive picked out the mazda rx8, it will be wrecked and im gonna fix it. Im 16 and I was wondering what the average price of insurance would be with AAA car insurance.""

What is the cheapest online car insurance where no deposit is paid? Morethan is no good. (UK)?

What is the cheapest car insurance?

Cheap teen car insurance, best car to get?

""Car registered 25sep, no insurance, car incident 1st Oct but is it illegal?HELP?""

WHY SO? So I registered my car at DMV on the 25th Sept, I do not have insurance but according to DMV, it is LEGAL to not have insurance until 15 days on the day of registration. But in between those 15 days, I got into a car accident and what do i have to do now?????""

Whats the cheapest insurance company to go with?

Car insurance help please?

Im 16-17 in December, and straight away im going into driving lessons. which my parents are paying for. But lets just pretend im 17 ive passed my test and im lookin into buying a car.. ive been looking at clio's, but which cars are quite cheapish but still nice cars, and most importantly has cheap insurance, cause i heard insurance is dear these days.""

File auto insurance claim or pay out-of-pocket in NJ?

My 17yo daughter just got her graduated NJ license, skidded on wet corner, causing $1300 in damage to wheel & susp. We have $500 deductible. Can we ask our insurance co. how much our rates will go up if we file a claim, or will that automatically flag her for additional points?""

Help on auto insurance decision.?

What company would you go with when getting insurance on your first car? I am 25 and this will be my first car. However, I have been driving since i received my permit at the age of 17 but i received my license at 24. I consider myself a good responsible driver but i know that no matter how good of a driver one is, there is always an idiot on the road who drives wildly. Anyway, Since i lived in Brooklyn, NY all my life i have never needed a car because of the City's Transit but now i moved from Brooklyn and need a car. Geico has been recommended from some people i know but lets put it this way... a quote for the car i want (05 Merc E320) is $2,310 for 6 months. I thought it was just because of the car but then i played around a bit and got a quote for a Chrysler 300 and they wanted $1950 for 6 months. Any better recommendations for insurance in NY? Thanks.""

Motorcycle Insurance?

Does motorcycle insurance cost more than car insurance would or is it about the same?

Looking for a job with cancer patient?

I just graudate 2 week ago in AAS for medical insurance and billing and I would like to work for cancer patient and cancer center. I want to do some medical insurance for cancer patient and other thing. Is there website that I can find some career opportunity?

Average price for public libility insurance?

Why should someone who is say 40 get cheaper car insurance than a 17 year old?

If for instance they passed on the same day, why should a 17 year be categorised as less responsible than a 40 year old in terms of driving ability? Particularly when chances are due to the insurance gaps and most probably the earnings of these two hypothetical people the 40 year old would be able to afford a more powerful car...""

What is the cheapest liability insurance in sacramento?

looking for auto liability. just to cover the basics. i'm shooting for 50 dollars or less per month.

Which car insurance have you got the cheapest quote from for a 1.0 car?

my family is looking to buy a new car. My mum would be the main driver...my father the additional driver and me as another additional driver my mum has had her license for 15 years my dad has had it well over 30 years and i just passed a week ago any suggestions for the cheapest car insurance company ive been to gocompare but some sites dont show up any result....well quite alot frankly that i cannot go to each one individually to find a quote

""Auto insurance question, need help!!?""

I have no idea about these questions, could someone explain them? Your neighbor has his own insurance policy with State Farm with the same coverages that you have with your Allstate Auto Policy. So when he says his insurance will cover an accident, you loan him your car. He promptly runs into a tree, causing $2,500 in damage to your car. How much will your insurance policy pay? A. $ 0 B. $ 2,000 C. $ 2,500 D. State Farm will pay E. Cannot be determined You are at the North Carolina coast when Hurricane Irene hits. Although you are able to get away, you have to leave your car and luggage behind. The hurricane blows your car into a tree, causing considerable damage and the trunk to open. Your luggage is then blown away and never recovered. It costs $8,000 to repair your car. The value of your luggage was $500. Your policy will pay: A. $ 7,500 B. $ 7,700 C. $ 8,000 D. $ 8,200 E. $ 8,500 After pumping gas in your new car, you forget to remove the hose from your gas tank. As you drive off, the hose breaks spilling some gasoline and starting a fire. The fire causes $325,000 in damage to the gas station. You are held responsible for the entire loss. Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 100,000 C. $ 300,000 D. $ 325,000 E. None of the above Your twelve-year-old brother, who does not have a drivers license, is visiting you on campus and while sitting in your car playing with the transmission, he puts the car in drive and drives it into the front door of your sorority (or fraternity) house. The damage to your house is $22,000 and your car costs $5,500 to repair. Your brother is hurt, goes to the emergency room and is released with a few bandages and a bill for $1,500 Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 1,500 C. $ 5,000 D. $ 6,500 E. None of the above""

""Brak wants to know, Should married women have higher auto insurance rates than men ?

Sure seems like women have a discount on car insurance and married people have it cheaper. But it's the housewives who I see driving gas guzzlers around with soccer stickers on the back. Talking on their mobile phone while driving with coffee in their other hand. They are worse drivers than me. I'm a 24 yr old bachelor & a safe driver.

Insurance esitmate for 2 door vauxhall corsa?

Im 17, and im planning to get a vauxhall corsa, estimated insurance prices please?""

Im 18 years old and just got a ford focus and i want to get liability insurance on it how much would it cost?

What is the cheapest car insurance company right now!!!?

Student auto insurance?

I'm currently a college student and would like to purchase my own auto insurance in Ohio (and no longer be included on my parents insurance). Does anyone have any tips on how/where to get good, affordable auto insurance? Are there any companies that you would recommend? Or ones that offer student/good student discounts? Thanks!""

Health insurance for the poor in California?

Does anybody know how to get some kind of free health insurance in Los Angeles? I lost my job and want to go to school full time but I need health insurance. Med-Cal told me you have to be 65 or disabled

I wanted to now about car insurance liability?

my boyfriend is on his mums insurance, but the other day, he had a little bump, which wasnt his fault, the person in front kept breaking spontaneously on a very busy road which caused him to slightly go in to the back of her car, theres no damage to his mums car and hes says (and i fully believe him) that the only bit of damage to their car is a few screws missing, yet they have still got the insurance company involved, but he really wasnt liable for the little bump, it wasnt his fault, the other person kept putting breaks on and i know you can fail your test for breaking like that on a busy road, i just want to know what will happen about his mums insurance now as hes really worried.""

Can I get Car Insurance in Texas without a D-License?

Can I get car insurance without a license. I'm located in Texas. Is there ways around to do it?

Best car and insurance for 18 year old?

Hey, just looking for some advice for the cheapest possible way to get a car and insurance (not necessarily together) for less than 4,000 a year? I knows there's schemes like Young Marmalade, but I'd rather know what's going to happen with my insurance after the 1st year, but at the moment they do seem like the best option. Any help appreciated! :-)""

Cheapest car and car insurance for a 21 year old.?

Well i dont know anything about cars so please dont criticise me lol my partner is having his test next month and he is 21 so his insurance will be sky high, so whats the best car for cheapest car insurance at his age? We need it as cheap as possible as were only looking for a second hand one due to it being his first car and he isnt botherd about the looks like as long as it gets us n the kids A to B lol please help.""

How much life insurance can a 75 year old woman get?

My aunt wants some insurance. How much can she get?

Insurance estimate?15?Sportbike?

I will be 15 and 9 months with a permit. I will have a Honda CBR 600RR and i was wondering how much would my insurance be? What the chapest and how can i get the cheapest. ill be a carefull rider.

Car Insurance and Credit Cards?

In less than a year I'll be getting my own credit card and I'll have to have car insurance. I am trying to find the best credit card and car insurance for me so that I won't have to spend money and time later to change it. I am unsure what kind of credit card is best. I am going to try and will most likely succeed in having the best credit. What credit card do you suggest to a high school student who will go to college and to the armed forces. Also I want to know which car insurance offers the cheapest car insurance, I want one that offers rewards for students, safe driving, clean driving records. Any help will be much appreciated.""

Cheap teen car insurance, best car to get?

50CC Does motorbike insurance cost more than moped insurance?

Ok so i just turned 16 and have got my provisional license and also have done a CBT my mum tells me that a 50cc Motorbike that you put your leg over costs way more in insurance then a moped that you put your leg through is this true ? also im talking About 50cc motorbikes and mopeds

How much would it cost for my 17 year old son to have insurance on a 2005 nissan 350z?

How do I transfer medi-cal insurance to PA for college?

Hi guys, I'm 17 and currently live in california and have medi-cal insurance because my family is low income. I'm planning on going to Philadelphia for college, but I'm not sure how I can transfer my medi-cal to Pennyslvania? Is it even possible? Or do I have to apply again in Pennsylvania? I Need proof of insurance to enter school and I don't know if medi-cal is enough. I have health net as well. I need it by the 23rd of July and it is now the 25th of June. Will I have enough time to get insurance? any help is appreciated. Thank you!""

Where can I get the cheapest car insurance for 18 year olds?

I've looked on gocompare, moneysupermarket and comparethemarket. Does anyone know any insurance company/comparison websites that are good? Preferably recommend ones you have used yourself. Thanks""

Why exactly life insurance?

I just don't think I need life insurance. I mean there are other priorities and other things I can spend my money on, why exactly life insurance?""

Car Insurance coverage question...?

Here is my question, CA policy I have three cars under my policy, I have now passed on one of them to my younger sister who is 21 and lives 50 miles away. However, she is NOT under my insurance policy and I am worried that my insurance won't cover her if something were to happen. I was told by a friend of mine who is an insurance agent that ANY insurance company in CA has to cover her if she has a valid license and does NOT live in the same household as the policyholder (coverage would be extended to her also as long as I verify she was authorized to drive the car). Is this true?""

What dental insurance is affordable for individuals in Western New York?

I'm 24 and my job does not offer dental insurance. I m in a wedding in two months and need a cap put on a front tooth so I'm looking for insurance now. I'm having trouble finding a good insurance company for individuals that fits my needs and doesn't have a waiting period. Anyone have any suggestions as which way to go and what is ideal for a single woman my age? Thanks so much!

How does an Insurance Claim work?

How does an insurance claim work. Let's say I get up one morning walk outside and my car has been stolen? The police come out and take a report, then they leave. How long would it take insurance cover this and how much would they cover? For example, if I have a car that I'm financing that is worth $24,500.00 dollars that had full insurance coverage. Basically, how does it work? Since it's being financed, I'm sure the insurance company would pay out the remaining balanced owed on the car to satisfy the loan with the finance company but what happens to me afterwards? Lets say I have $100,000 dollars in coverage that covers me in case of theft or something like that. Being that the car was fully covered and insurance was able to pay back the loan, would they give me the money to buy a new car at equal or face value of the car that was stolen? Insurance is so friggin complicated...if someone could explain the process to me I'd appreciate it.""

Which car insurance companies only ask for 3 years convictions?

Can anyone give me a of list of car insurance companies which only ask for 3 years of convictions...? I have 6 points, I'm 22, passed my test 3 months ago, and accumulated these points 3 years and 2 months ago... Catch my drift? :)""

Are car insurance rates adjusted by occupation now?

I just got done reading this article on car insurance and occupation at http://www.consumerbadcreditguide.com/carinsurance.html What do you think about this?

About how much will my car insurance increase...?

I recently received a speeding ticket for going 81/60. 4 points and 185$ fine...the officer said he would knock it down to 2 points and 80$ fine if i showed up to court. I'm 19, I live in S. Carolina, and I pay 195$ a month for a 2004 mazda6. Does anyone have an estimate on how much 2 points will raise my rates? Note: This is my second ticket; my first was an Improper start from start, no points 155$ fine. Thanks so much!""

What is the commission structure for a California Insurance Agent?

I am wanting to see some kind of chart or calculation of how earnings will be calculated in regard to working on commission as a P&CInsurance Agent in Californis

""Considering how big a money making racket Healthcare, and Insurance is?

Is it any wonder how bad republiklans would try to sabotage the Affordable Health care act? It's such a racket the Mafia is in on it..Florida.. woooowoooo lets stay together..

Which is cheaper- homeowner insurance or landlord insurance?

Insurance regulations?

does the commissioner of insurance have the authority to govern foreign producers/ foreign companies. these are business entities that sell insurance in there state but there home office is in another?

Insurance for my business?

I run a small local business that is a Pet Waste Removal service. My question has to do with insurance. I don't know much about insurance and I'm pretty lost right now. I'm the only employee. I go to someones house and scoop their pets poop. Do i need insurance for this business and if so what kind and why? How about being Bonded? Thanks I appreciate your help..

How much will State Farm raise insurance for a toll violation?

I didn't have any money on me so the attendant wrote down my license plate number and I went through. Here in Florida it counts a s a moving violation and is 3 points on your license. It's my dad's car, so I assume the points will be put on his license unfortunately. How will this affect his rates?""

Car insurance?

how much would it cost for a 16 year old girl, honor student & drivers ed to start a plan by her self, or would it be cheaper to be added to my parents plan? aslo the car would be a madza 3. THANKS :)""

Car Insurance and clueless teenagers?

Considering the kind of questions we are getting by 16 year olds regarding car insurance we could safely assume that they aren't ready to drive at all! Maybe raise the minimum age to 18? Might even save a few lives!

Cheap Health Insurance In New York State for single adult?

Is there any good but cheap health insurance in new york state not based on income?

Totaled a Financed car Liability Insurance!?

Okay December 22 2012 I went to Eldorado Motor to Finance a nice car! I'm 18 had no credit but I held a job since I was 16! Anyways I got Approved! I picked out a Red 2001 Ford Focus! Its was 7, 000 butt after everything was said and done it all added up to like 10, 000! Anyways when I got the car I didn't know they wouldn't let me leave with the car unless I had insurance! So after I gave the $500 Down payment! They was like alright all we need is proof of insurance & sign some paper work and its mine! Well I only had like 600 bucks and 100 left after I gave the down payment...I told them I wouldn't be able to get insurance until next payday cause I was broke! They worked with me and said how much will it cost you for insurance? I told them it depends on if I needed Liability or full coverage! They said all you need is liability! I was in shook! I clarified like twice if I could get Liability? They said yes! So I called State Farm got a 220 quote and Eldorado Motor dropped my down payment to 300 and refunded me 200 So II paid for insurance! And was rolling! Butt I do remember asking what happens if I wreak? They told me they had a repair shop and all I would have to do is pay a 200 dollar deductible! And they would repair it and just tack the rest of the repairs on my car note! So fast forward like 4 months its April 12 2013 I was in a hurry Tailgating a Truck and finally this ttuck in front of me swerved into the next lane! I thought the Truck was getting outta my way so I could go ahead of him turms out he swerved around a turning car! And I couldn't stop in time and I rear ended the car turning!!! So the Truck drives off and I got out checked on everybody no one was hurt! But my car and the guy I hit the cars was Totaled I could tell by just looking at it! Anyways my Liability insurance covered the guy I hit but not me!!! So I called Eldorado Motor and told them everything now i've been without a car 4 a week and don't know what the car lot wants to do""

About how much money a month do you think it would cost a 16 year old to get a mustang gt ?

Including insurance and how much do you think the down payment will be

Car Insurance question?

So I'm going out of town for a couple nights with my mom and sister. My mom owns the car we're taking and she's insured under it... but we're wondering if my sister can get a temporary insurance policy for this car so that she could do some of the driving on our trip. My sister has her G license.

Who has the cheapest insurance quote for a 16 year old riding a 50cc moped.?

Im 16 next month and im after a yamaha aerox 50cc and just wondering where would be the best place to get insured on it, iv heard comparison sites are rubbish so i tried a few sites like rampdale, justmotorcycleinsurance etc but all seem to be pricing things at 330ish third party only, can anyone help?""

Why my car insurance is so high and how can I lower it?

Recently I moved my house and my insurance went off the roof. For a 03 reg ford-ka its 2300 whereas the car cost only 1400. I also have passed pass-plus, but in vain. Checked on gocompares and other sites, but of no use. I am 28yrs old. I don't know what to do, I love to drive and want that car so bad? Do you guys have any idea? Should I go and check out with my bank for insurance and stuff? please help?""

Cheap teen car insurance, best car to get?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-do-i-get-health-insurance-lisa-taylor"

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petersaysthings · 6 years

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Prelude: A Brief History of Viktorium (Part I of V)

by Benoit Laurent IT BEGAN WITH THE DREAM of a young boy, as all things must. An innocent childhood fancy imbued with the spark of imagination. Throughout the course of his life, this spark would be heavily nurtured. His parents indulged him, this boy, as most born to affluence would—with immediate response to every demand and a condescending attitude toward his peers. This of course would leave him unprepared for the devastation that was to follow in his personal life as he dealt with its natural lessons such as death, betrayal, and above all, failure. ‘But what if one did not have to learn such things?’ he thought. This question, more than any other, became the primary driving force behind his life pursuits as he reached the age of adulthood.

Thus, the unchecked spark of indulgence was permitted to grow unto its logical conclusion; a dream so grandiose and decadent, its creator would soon realize there was no room left for it in the real world. And once he discovered Viktorium, that was it. The only reason this man ever needed, as it provided an excuse for everything from his narcissistic behavior to his mad scientist tendencies. The fact that it was a literal escape from the real world was perhaps the icing on the cake. ‘Ah, so one does not have to die after all! How might I exploit this?’

Have you all eaten your fill yet?

The man I am referring to of course is Charles DuPont, ‘First King of Viktorium’ as he no doubt likes to be known. By no coincidence, today so happens to be his birthday. I for one certainly hope he is enjoying it where he belongs—in exile!

Unfortunately for Viktorium—and in particular, our fine capital of Cavarice as it stands today—exile was not quite enough to repair the damage that was already done from fifteen long years of his leadership. We still have our share of problems to clean up, and that’s exactly where we lack guidance. Who is responsible enough to lead us into the next era as a Futuristic society? Mayor La Cour and the Republican Council certainly aren’t cutting it. The fact that everyone on both sides of the political sphere fancies themselves the next supreme is not the least of such concerns; they ousted DuPont with no clear backup plan in mind, yet they refuse to take responsibility.

And that is the very crux of the issue. Our current politicians in power were among the first to arrive here. No one in their rational, living, thinking intelligent minds could ever have conceived of the idea of having major responsibilities in the afterlife. Indeed how could they, when the very man who founded this place was just as irresponsible and naïve as they, so much so to have marketed it as a vacation destination? After all, death is the great respite. If you wish to escape death, you must take responsibility for the technological power that permits you to do so. But as is death, so is life! In Viktorium, you must work to earn your fill.

And to that end, I feel I must issue a sincere apology to all new arrivals. Many of you were duped into believing this to be a vacation destination, whilst those of you who came long after perhaps thought you were entering Heaven. Even the criminals recently executed that arrive here are those whom you must now consider your brothers, a rather Marxist law which has been upheld with disastrous results. Article IV of the Constitution of Cavarice which states “Thou shalt not judge new citizens for Earth crimes” was the worst of DuPont’s edicts left over as a relic of his former cabinet. But not to worry, you’ve got our fine upstanding Dispatchers for that, another organization that is not without its share of problems, and certainly not free of corruption either. So where did this all start, you ask?

The Man, The Machine, & The Movie Star

FIRST CROSSOVER, 1906. A man enters a poor rural village claiming he has recently developed a very special vacation destination which has yet to be used. All he needs are enough willing families of the general public to test it out for a couple weeks, which he will allow them to do for free. He uses all sorts of scientific words to describe the location, which you wouldn’t listen to anyway because he keeps pointing at his scantily-dressed assistant. All of your attention is focused on her. You trust him not because he smiles, but because the girl smiles. He goes at the men first.

“If you gentleman bring your wives to Viktorium for some much deserved relaxation, I can promise you they won’t soon forget it!” The girl captures your attention with all sorts of flashy poses as he displays a map of the area. “This is the most sophisticated restaurant in town, just off the waterfront. They serve only the best aged wines, delectable dishes of seafood including the finest caviar, and the best chocolate cakes for the lady here, if it so happens to be your wife’s birthday.” He smiles and pats her behind as she caresses her neck and coos in submissive adoration.

Now any intelligent man from the city could see through such a ridiculous act, but the town of Bezonvaux unfortunately had little experience with carnival marketing tactics. They were simply happy to escape their troubled lives through any means necessary. Then again, that is precisely why Charles DuPont had chosen them to test his machine. Also chosen as part of his marketing act was a then twenty-five year old model and actress by the name of Constance Renou, now the Director of Viktorium-France Transit. Charles’ relationship with her, as well as her role in the deception, remains unclear to this day.

What is most clear, however, is what occurred one month later at a date now known as First Crossover. The very mention of it in Viktorium is enough to make one shudder in abject terror, and rightly so. The Viktoria I machine was the biggest technological disaster of our age. Not that Charles cared. He got what he needed most out of the deal in the end—test subjects. Because for all of his credit as a scientist and innovator, DuPont was still the same ruthless, conniving human being he had been as a child. He had to have his way no matter what, and he would go to any means necessary to get it.

On the night of First Crossover, two hundred and thirteen people entered the Viktoria I never to be seen again, either in Viktorium or anywhere else for that matter. According to Charles himself as he stood trial, the crowd formed an orderly line and talked of their excitement. One by one they stepped into the chamber, each accompanied by a green flash that grew ever brighter. The last lit up the entire sky even ten kilometers away. And just like that, the peaceful village of Bezonvaux was gone forever. The following is from DuPont’s court statement before he was exiled:

I tried to stop it. I had noticed earlier that the matter density array was misaligned to a variance of a few degrees. At first, I thought it was within acceptable limits. When they began entering, everything seemed fine. But the flashes got brighter as time went on, and I realized the phase emitter was failing to compensate as it should have. There was a critical overload and I couldn’t be sure the rest would materialize on the other side. After the first fifty people, I told them we had to stop. But they kept pressuring me to continue firing the switch. ‘You promised us!’ they said. I had never seen a crowd of farmers so upset and angry. Some of them were carrying pistols, others rifles. I was certain more were carrying knives. Despite the fact I had my own pistol, I was outnumbered. Viktorium was no assurance for me either. I knew if I died, I would come here and the ones who had crossed might make further attempts on my life. We’re still not yet certain what happens if you are killed in Viktorium. Where would I go? But I thought they might have gotten through. How is this all my fault again? Surely they must be alive somewhere! We just have to keep looking.

But of course nobody wanted to look, and they won’t bother. There is far too much power at stake. The fact that Charles’ machine was an eventual success is all that matters to Viktorium’s current politicians now. They just needed the right scapegoat to exile him, because even that was difficult enough. He is a most intelligent man, but I digress. The machine must keep running at all costs, even if it should send us to the Reapers!

That was Charles DuPont’s philosophy, and it is that of our current Parliament. So does it not seem strange to you that the parts are still defective, even if the body has changed? Are we truly expecting a different outcome in this world, and will we also expect one in the next, so long as the same tired cranks are still in power? Of course not! These little power plays they make every damned election year are blatant misdirection, folks! The corporate wheels are still turning, and this is the very essence of The Man, The Machine, and The Movie Star.

Because while The Man hides in a magic box somewhere no doubt holding the secret to his miraculous return in his bloody hands, The Movie Star is still here to draw our attention, operating The Machine to the horrid detriment of our society.

God Save Viktorium! God Save Us All!

If you liked this, you can read more of my web serial Adventures In Viktorium here!

#writerblr #steampunk #dystopia #scifi #spilled ink #prose #web serial #web series #webfic #writing #amwriting #Viktorium #articles #creative writing #authors #dystopianfiction #dystopian novel

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alexatwood86 · 7 years

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How Marijuana Legalization Will Effect Substance Use Treatment: A Counselor’s Opinion

2017: Where We are Today

In the U.S., we are seeing a paramount shift in attitudes and policy on The Big M: Marijuana. As of today, we have 28 states that have legalized medical marijuana, 16 states that have legalized CBD oils (that are known to treat certain seizure disorders), and there are 8 states that have legalized the recreational use of marijuana for adults. Although marijuana has long been a threat to the dogmatic ideology of addiction recovery, the legalization of the drug is making many treatment professionals uneasy in navigating this uncharted territory of government sanctioned marijuana use. In this article, I will discuss how I view the changes in marijuana policy and how this impacts the field of addiction treatment.

My Experience with Recovery and Marijuana

When I was 24, I entered a residential treatment facility for the first time. At the time I used alcohol, marijuana, and opiates on a daily basis and also had a past history of daily cocaine use. Upon entering treatment I had basically no knowledge of the disease concept, 12-Step work, or addiction treatment in general. All that I knew was that my relationship with alcohol and opiates was making my life miserable.

After being sick in bed for a few days, I became clearheaded enough to start to comprehend what I was hearing in treatment. Once detoxed, I immediately realized that the treatment center not only expected me to quit alcohol and opiates, but also expected me to stop using marijuana. This was a complete shock to me.

I had never even considered that to be “clean” required me to quit smoking pot.

Once I realized this, I went from being hopeful about my recovery to being completely unsure about my ability to remain abstinent and my future as a person in recovery. It wasn’t that I was unwilling to consider my marijuana use as harmful, but this new obstacle destroyed the future that I had imagined.

Medical or Recreational?: Needs VS. Wants

Many treatment providers hold unjustified fears about the legal use of marijuana. To address these, I’d like to share a few benefits that I foresee in legalization of marijuana as a recreational drug. In fact, I can see how certain policy and perspective can directly support abstinence based treatment.

It’s a common addiction treatment exercise to have clients reflect on the differences between needs and wants. The hope of the curriculum is that substance users will see that there is a difference between needing something, and wanting something. Once the difference is established, then hopefully, the substance user acknowledges the fact that drug use is a “want” not a “need.” Now that drug use is separated from being a need, the substance user can see that they have the ability to choose their relationship with drugs in the same way that they could change any unnecessary relationship.

As a substance treatment counselor myself, I know that trying to convince a person who uses medical marijuana to stop using cannabis is near impossible. This is because, in the client’s eyes, marijuana is not a drug; it is their medicine. When a drug is prescribed as a medicine it becomes a “need.” Medical marijuana users don’t “want” the use marijuana; they “need” to use marijuana. Telling a client to give up medical marijuana is telling them that we know more about medicine than their doctor (assuming you are not a doctor).

Living in the San Francisco Bay Area, I see that the prescribing process of marijuana is anything but medical. I have taken clients to medical marijuana doctors; a medical diagnosis is the last thing that is required to get a card. Of course, there are countless people who have legitimate medical reasons to use marijuana, but I would assume that there are just as many people who get prescriptions for no medical reason.

The benefit of legalizing marijuana for recreational use, from an abstinence treatment perspective, is that it creates more users who “want” marijuana, and less people who “need” it. Those individuals who were getting medical marijuana under a false diagnosis no longer need to go to a doctor; they can now just buy it legally. Now, when these users come into treatment, if they are honest with themselves, they will have to admit that they use marijuana, not because they need it, but because they are choosing to get high. I see this making a big difference in motivating clients to conform to abstinence based treatment and also avoids the unethical practice of telling clients to stop taking medication that was prescribed by a doctor.

Legal Sanctions Create Unmanageability

The First Step in 12-Step programs is that, “We are powerless over our addiction––that our lives have become unmanageable.” It is the second part of the step that most concerns us in the treatment field because it explains why the individual is seeking treatment. People come into treatment because some part of their life has become dysfunctional – a state which is independent of their amount of use or the level of physical and mental dependence. If a person is physically dependent on a drug and they are still able to manage their life to their standards, they will never seek treatment. Therefore, for those people seeking treatment, addiction has more to do with the drug’s effect on their social life than their physical one.

Of the criteria used in the diagnosis of Cannabis Use Disorder, 4 have to do solely with social function**. Here are the social criteria for cannabis substance use disorder.

A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain cannabis, use cannabis, or recover from its effects

Recurrent cannabis use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home

Continued cannabis use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of drug use.

Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of cannabis use.

** DSM IV listed reoccurring legal problems as a result of use but it was removed in the newest addition.

Overall, there are eleven total symptoms used to diagnose Cannabis Use Disorder; including the four social symptoms listed above. Social criteria alone make up over 1/3rd of the total diagnostic criteria. To be diagnosed with a severe disorder, a person must have at least six of the eleven criteria. Two criteria must be met for a mild diagnosis and four criteria for a moderate disorder. A person who meets all of, and only, the four social criteria would be diagnosed with a moderate substance use disorder without having any physical dependence or health issues.

Because marijuana is an illegal substance, cannabis users are at greater risk of suffering dysfunction in their lives due to the risk of the criminal justice system intervening in their life. Having a drug arrest immediately creates unmanageability in the substance user’s life, regardless of their level of addiction. These legal sanctions dictate how a person is able to navigate their social environment, not because of the drug use itself, because of the drug’s legal status in the community. This last election we voters in California have completely legalized marijuana. This new law has, literally overnight, cured people of the diagnosable disease of addiction based on the four social criteria in the DSM by removing social obstacles that have obstructed people from controlling their own lives. Substance use disorder, in the social sense, changes across time due to the fluctuation of laws which completely negates the fact that addiction is a personal relationship between the drug and the individual.

Court Ordered Treatment May Not Best Target True Addicts

In California, clients who are in treatment solely for marijuana use makes up between 15-20% of all substance use treatment clients. These numbers appear to be dropping in correlation to the decreasing marijuana penalties in our country as a whole.

I wonder: How many of these marijuana users are in treatment only because the illegality of cannabis has made their lives unmanageable?

Undoubtedly, many of these treatment clients were having difficulty with their cannabis use, not because they are addicted but because of legal complications beyond their control. Since it is the legality of the drug that funnels individuals into treatment, through increased dysfunction due to legal consequences, treatment is not acting as a health care institution but rather an extension of the criminal justice system.

In my time working as a substance use counselor, I have seen clients who are in treatment only because they have violated their probation or parole due to violations of drug testing. These individuals may, or may not, have a problem with drugs but if they were using a legal drug such as alcohol, they would not have wound up in treatment. Again, in these cases, the treatment referrals have less to do with treating addiction, and instead act as a punishment for not following an arbitrary law that has been socially constructed.

As we begin to legalize marijuana, we will be opening up space for individuals who actually have drug addiction. It allows counselors to do their job without being manipulated by political and judiciary institutions. When clients are able to make their own decision about the role drugs play in the functioning of their lives, it benefits everyone.

Cannabis Laws Do Not Equally Affect All People

Drug use is, and always has been, a civil rights issue. It has been shown in countless research that people of color are arrested of marijuana offenses at much higher rates than whites, although whites use cannabis at equal rates to other racial groups. If cannabis laws affected all people equally, across racial and socioeconomic lines, we would be having a different conversation. In fact, it is a strong argument that the only reason that marijuana legalization has ever even been considered is because so many white people use pot. It was only when enough white people suffered the collateral damage of the war on pot that decriminalization was considered.

Because more people of color suffer more unmanageability from pot use they are more likely to have a more severe diagnosis of Cannabis Use Disorder. We as clinicians cannot sit back and allow a socially racist construction to interfere with the ostensibly unbiased work of clinically diagnosing individuals with medical disorders.

This is unacceptable and unethical.

By ignoring the racial implications in diagnosing individuals, when using social diagnostic criteria, we are directly implicit in perpetuating racism. This should make us angry, when we realize that we have unwittingly become active participants in a system of oppression.

Shouldn’t We Consider “Treatment” On a Client’s Terms?

In my opinion, the greatest failing of the disease model has been its ignorance that Substance Use Disorder operates on a continuum of severity. It is a myth that all addiction is the same and therefore requires the same treatment of abstinence. The disease model only caters to the most severely afflicted polysubstance user.

Arguably, there are many people who have such a chaotic relationship with substances that they can never safely use any substance for the rest of their lives. These are the people who benefit from the disease ideology, but what about people who fall lower on the spectrum of substance use? There are few treatment options for people who wish to change their relationship with substances on their own terms.

We do not know how many people there are who fall on the lower side of the continuum because these people avoid seeking the type of treatment that will tell them they have a chronic progressive disease. This lack of sympathetic treatment providers discourages individuals from seeking treatment at all. This is the great irony of disease treatment: that it is making the silent majority of users more isolated and mentally unstable.

This is why I see harm reduction as the only ethical practice of substance use treatment. Often thought of as radical, harm reduction allows clients to decide for themselves how they want to change their relationship with substances. We can still work with clients on treatment goals independent of their drug use. This includes giving a client the benefit of the doubt when they believe they can continue to smoke marijuana while changing their relationship with other substances. This allows the clinician to be a true agent of change, instead of policing individual’s behavior.

My Story, Continued

After spending 30 days in that residential treatment center, I had become convinced that I had the disease of addiction; that I could never use any substance without disaster (excluding nicotine and caffeine, of course.) After a short relapse on all my original substances, I joined a 12-Step fellowship and followed strict adherence to the disease concept of abstinence as the only way to live a successful recovery. I became fully involved in spreading the ideology of the disease of addiction. When I sponsored people who thought they could still use marijuana I stubbornly dictated to them that they are not “clean” or in “recovery” if they continued to use cannabis, even for medical reasons.

It should be obvious by this point that I have changed my view on what it means to be in recovery, although I have continued to remain abstinent of all substances for almost 10 years and continue my membership in a 12-Step fellowship.

For me, it is a personal decision to abstain from marijuana. I don’t abstain because it’s against 12-Step rules, or it might lead me back to harder drugs, or that it would reset my clean date. I don’t use marijuana simply because I choose not to and I believe that I can manage my life better without using cannabis. It is my choice and I allow others to make their own choice on whether or not they want to continue a relationship with marijuana––or any other drug for that matter.

Final Thoughts

We, as clinicians, need to follow our own advice when we tell our clients not to fear change. As a society our laws and perceptions are changing, and we risk becoming obsolete if we don’t change along with new ideas.

I realize that most of us don’t work in environments where we have the ability to change rapidly. Change is hard and slow; the disease model is so deeply entrenched into our work, and our world, that there will be major resistance to moving towards a harm reduction model. It is worth fighting for. I, for one, am tired of policing people’s bodies and behavior. To be able to give clients the ability to decide their own behaviors is both liberating and ethical.

To this end, I maintain that legalizing marijuana is a step in the right direction for a healthy and equitable society.

Reference Sources: ACLU. The War on Marijuana in Black and White. NORML. State Laws. SAMHSA. Client Level Data/ TEDS.

Copyright © 2011 This feed is for personal, non-commercial use only. The use of this feed on other websites breaches copyright. If this content is not in your news reader, it makes the page you are viewing an infringement of the copyright. (Digital Fingerprint: f7a6e0cc3471137b83805a08cd727b99) from Addiction Blog http://addictionblog.org/treatment/how-marijuana-legalization-will-effect-substance-use-treatment-a-counselors-opinion/

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shysheeptrash-blog · 7 years

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N: I tried making these digital prints. Like I printed them on the wrong side of photo paper. Then I just stuck them in a frame. I mean you can still sort of see the image but something/ something/ happened.

B: I feel like I remember seeing these, maybe not these exact ones, But now the frames killed them like I think there was one of one of Sarah.

N: Yeah Yeah

B: but something happened

N: almost looks like snow or something.

B: or like celluloid burning or something.

N: and its progressive too. This is one of like Mia thompson. From back to the future. I just downloaded a whole series of photos of her as a like tenneager. Like she had done some modelling or something

B: hmm though is that an eye

N: No its a mouth dripping with milk see because the ink pooled in weird ways.

B: is that a body

N: Yeah

B: Is that your body

N: Yeah

B: Are you naked.

N: Yeah

B: And that's a palm tree haha

B: I kinda like it.. Its like a fridge science experiment.

N: There are actually a fair amount of writers in detroit actually.

B: well that stands to reason. Cost of living is reasonable. I feel like it'd be a good place to write a novel or a poetry book.

N: not art writers unfortunately tho

B art writing kind of piggybacks off of the commercial art world though, and less the like, the like ritual and practice of art.

N: there's not really a commercial art world, so theres not really art writers here.

B: Is that good?

N: I think it's bad.

B: Really?

N: I think its bad.

B: Well, money is good. You need enough money to eat. Haha. Is important.

N: But also, I think feeling like people are looking at what youre doing. Feeling seen. And what's the word? Feeling acknowledged. There isn't any, well, okay so recently, well actually, maybe we should go to this today. One of my friends, put together, at the cave a big industrial warehouse, a show with a bunch of artists from Chicago and Detroit. And a few days ago my friend send me the review, this person wrote this and its basically like well I don't get this. This makes me feel stupid. I don't really get it. I didn't understand. And it's like, why would you write that. Why would you put that into the world.

B: like did you talk to anyone.. like at a certain point, maybe try a little harder.

N: she went to the show with the curator.

B: Okay but like the digitigi-- uh digiti-- or didigi I can't get the word. I'm skipping over it, is the digital version like a scan or a text?

B Do we have a plan today

N No. Chilling is the plan.

B Food is probably part of the plan.

N Yeah.

B do you need to work today

N today or tomorrow

B okay.

B: What are you working on right now?

N: Two art fair things to work on. So, the thing that I, here I can show you. Um, so. That's gonna to new york. This is what I need to work on this weekend. That's also gonna go to New York, when we head back. There's a fair in Cologne in april. That and that are gonna go to that. I might make a bigger version of this. This thing took a long time. But ironically a bigger version doesn't take much longer. It's just detail-y kind of fussy work. I've also kind of changed the way I'm doing things somewhat. So like, if you look at this one, even the relatively flat areas get lots of layers and adjustment. Where like you can see here, where theres not a lot of paint and you can see the weave of the canvas, versus here, where you can see its all filled in.

B: Who's the guy in this one.

N: You wanna take a guess?

B: noam chomsky

N: it's bernie madoff

B: ohhh what happened to those feet?

N: I don’t know. I did those what do you call them, bigger frilly socks, but I didn't really like them at that scale. The background there will just be white.

B: Hmm?

N: That's another. That's a kind of—I had this period where I just started everything, just to see what I liked. I started working on these triple penetration paintings.

B: Oh my god! Are those from real images.

N: Its yeah, it's taken from a porn.

B: It's kind of beautiful but at a certain point, it's like what are you saying when you bring that into the gallery.

N: Yeah, it's definitely like what are your saying white boy, and I'm trying to be careful.

B: Yeah I feel like getting at that uncanny or intimate thing with the body and like you know like cropping it or cutting it off, its like kind of a violent gesture.

N: Yeah I've been, I don't. Well heres an interesting question. I had a show in London and it sold out and they were like if you can keep doing that we can keep giving you money. So like now I'm trying to repeat some of that. So the next step was like, well this was interesting to do, but like will it continue to be interesting.

B: and the ones for that show were they all bodies?

N: Here I'll show you. So here's this thing. There’s this and that and that and that.

B: I like these dogs.

N: those are margaret cho’s dogs

B: oh! Awwwww

N: haha yeah

B: I think these are kind of around fashion and textures. Less bodies. Or I mean, it not triple penetration.

N: Yeah. Oh heres peeing baby. I really like peeing baby but the gallery was like

B: mmm maybe next time

N I love peeing baby.

B let me see peeing baby again. Yeah I don't know man. Like its like funny and whimsical but I can't see someone buying that.

N: I feels so religious to me. Like Catholic. Like the hand gesture and the posture, and like I don't know.

B: But yeah I see why its sticky because while that's beautiful, representing and then selling a body part could definitely be framed as a violent act, while erasing black bodies from your work which is making art about fashion and beauty and bodies and rawness within those spaces is like also fucked.

N: I don't know

B: the lips are beautiful, I feel like I saw a bunch mouths in a museum once as a kid, and I was like wow look at the mouths, and I'm forgetting who

N: I dont know

B: were like wet and like grotesquely over-intricate and like pearls in them

N: marilynn minter

B: yeah

N: but also like, feminist activist and different background makes that gesture like totally legit.

B: yeah yeah.. Yeah. Okay have you done any of these doll parts ones yet, because they're like freaking me out.

N: I started. And they're not dolls, or they are dolls but they are medical dolls. So like doctors teach how to do things on the different parts.

B: What are all the dicks for?

N: maybe like testicular disorders.

B: The catheterization one is activating a deep horror.

N: of course that's the only one I've started. And like moving towards this space where there are these surrogates for bodies, like it feels interesting for a little while maybe.

B: What were you doing before this? I remember there was some stuff that was moving towards bodies. There was that cliff face that was vaguely yonic. And the the rope that said like breathe or relax.

B: Have you done any paintings of Marcel and Henry?

N: Not yet

B: Haha, well when you have time, I feel like they deserve that from you.

N: Yes.

B: Why did you start doing bodies in the first place?

N: I don't know, like the image of the socks was part of the impetus.

N: I need to like just figure out a way to be confident about this stuff.

B: I mean. Or not. Being careful isn't bad. Yeah I dont think its bad to be careful. I feel like, I dont know but like images just work in such a different way. Like they work, and I recognize that now. But like I feel like a lot of the time, I can figure out what I’m doing as I’m doing it. Instead of having to know what I'm doing ahead of time, because you can't change around the syntax of an image on the fly to the same extent. But I mean, I am also have a little bit of a what am I doing here right now. Like ive been in that place as well, for, not too long.

N: uh huh

B: I think that like I became super enamored with this really clean, kind of distanced way of writing, that aims to elide subjectivity. And I got there because I had crushes on a few writers in a row that were in that vain. And then like the last thing that I did, I was fucking with it for six months. And in the end it was only like 20 pages. That shouldn't have taken six months. And the reason it wasn't working was it was supposed to be this highly structured formal gesture that was a commentary on influence and the canon, but what it actually ended up being about was trauma and trying to escape a memory. And I think having to make that admission and then go ahead and write that piece instead of the super frozen over one about influence, I think admitting that knocked me a little off course, in terms of thinking that writing sterile well structured things was the way to go.

N: when did the shift happen

B: like december. That's when I pushed that one out of the nest. Cause I had it in my pocket and was like I'll fix it I'll fix it I'll fix it, but then just published it the way it was.

N: I've been kind of curious whether people are making big shifts because of the election. I was apprehensive about this stuff before the election, but now I'm like I need to re-consider what I'm doing.

B: Yeah i've settled into team reconsider. I'm looking to get a little more uhh skin in the game.

N: Yeah I can totally see that

B: To like raise the stakes or something.

N: I've been wanting to bring the process closer, but I'm still using found images and not trusting myself to make my own images. Like I met up with some friends a few weeks ago and I had them all paint their faces with clown faces. Hand then took photos of them just hanging. And I started to think that I can get to the place where I can use my own images. Here, heres uh. And I also started reading like about the protest culture kids are starting to paint their faces to avoid facial recognition software.

N: Whoop. Yeah I think, or I mean when I first started doing this stuff, I listened to an interview, and it didnt prefigure the socks painting, but it was relatively soon afterward and I started to think about the subjects of the paintings in a different way. Because the socks painting has this kind of leisurely, fashion-y, and like just a little hint of sex and I sort of saw that as a sort of contentious space that we arguing over. Leisure time. And what leisure time means in different contents. The left sees leisure time as like citizen time and the right sees it as unproductive time or like laziness in a way. I like the idea idea of thinking about bodies at rest and I started reading a new book about the use of bodies, in a more basically political sense. Like what do we do with all of our useless bodies as automation advances.

B: I think one thing that could happen or that might be useful, is that the marriage of capitalism and like almost calvinism, whereby wealth is conflated with morality. And that particular america schema where virtue and work ethic are conflated. I would like for us to have those two decouple. But it feels like we are going in the opposite direction right now with debt and internships and the gig economy. But yeah images and stories that celebrate rest and decadence even if thats just laying outside on a nice day and doing nothing, time wasted in play or useless creation. Like a meaningful life separated from the market and from labor.

N: Yeah like non-instrumentalized creation, bodies in states of repose, and playing with culture and commodity as a kind of flouting.

B: I think the travel paintings looked more relaxed, but these look more decadent. And in terms of representing other possible ways of being, I like how you let that remain a little torn or bruised or uncanny. I think that that like better serves a narrative of another way of being, complicated, but also not caught up in that system of work or at least not caught up in the same way. I don't think a like overly romanticized version of the decadent or leisurely life would play. Given how cynical we've gotten. But a when we let bodies fold and wrinkle and bruise while they play or rest or shimmer or hint towards illicit sex, I think that's seductive. I guess I'm also talking about non-domestic spaces, or like ways of like occupying private spaces that aren't caught up in domestic labor.

B: and like I'm not signing up to be a part of a heterosexaul relationship and care for a big brood. So I think a lot, about becoming isolated as I slip into the like margins of society. I can't remember where I heard it but it rang pretty true for me personally, that queerness is oriented towards death.

N: Like we don't valorize seeking deep meaning except as it is consumption. And the other thing is—well with sex, or whatever do you think that there's any political value in the major city non-monogamous thing? Like are we actually getting away from the enforced solitude.

B: Mmm until society has achieved racial and economic justice, the way it's mostly set up now is rich white people LARPing as revolutionaries while not realizing that its like just their privileges that allow them to have access to these spaces. Yeah there's some potentials that inhere there. But the way its commonly concieved of or the versions we here about --if that's the main site of your political struggle, then you're fucking up. Now granted a fair number of people in collective living situations are involved—are activists or like allies in some respects. Its just that walling off a garden for the rich, white, and able bodied and then calling it eden. That's like actively shitty. Granted that's mostly not how it works, but it does sometimes work that way. But, the ones I've seen in new york, like you have to have money to have that house. There are some phenomenal exceptions. But like mostly, its walled gardens. It doesn't fix the problem, because everyones coming into your collective with an individualist mindset and the goal of accumulation of capital and a self rooted in the concept of work. I think there is a potential that inheres there, but it doesn't fix the real problem.

and of course that's good, but I think that that progress stands alongside the kind of stripping out and monetization or like collapsing into commodities of every other belief system. Like you said yourself that one nice thing about being in the commercial art market is that there is a sense of validation that comes from selling. Like everything gets abstracted back into like capital. As much as you like try and even as an artist where like you are trying to reach out and see other value systems and youre in somewhat of an okay like positions to try and like reach for other value systems, you still get something out of it as work, like work-work, and out of working on it and getting paid for your work.

N: How do you feel about ice cream.

B: I feel excellent about food. I kinda want noodles. I'm lactose intolerent though so maybe not ice cream. Unless theres like a sherbert situation.

N: I was gonna offer mochi.

B: Could they be rice milk?

N: nnuhh I dont know.

B: Where do cows live? Like where are they originally from?

N: I don't know.

B: I mean I know milk is everywhere. Because global logistics and shipping and stuff. But where are cows? Uh you have the same soap as my partner. And he has the same soap as my ex, and for like a week it was freaking me out, like what is that smell, but I didn't say anything because it seemed weird. But I'm used to it now so it's fine.

B: Also I did an interesting job of packing this morning. I have a short sleeved silk button down and a velvet leotard and a floral bomber. Nothing reasonable. I don't know what I was thinking.

N: We should go thrifting. Oh I wish you could meet the woman I've been seeing. She's so good at thrifting.

B: Ugh my voice. Well like I also do the upspeak thing too. I don't feel super femme, as I'm like wandering around the world in my person body. But when I hear my voice or see pictures of myself, I'm like oh—that seems like a woman.

N: Uh huh

B: With the upspeak and the likes

N: I've heard that women tend to put like in the front of sentences, as a way of cordoning off meaning. And the kind of like that we tend to associate with women's speech, the inserted, like creating a pause

B: like an um

N: Yes

B That was a literal like right? I've lost track of when a like is like and when a like is an um

N:This is what blew my mind and I want to look into this more is that the original definition of like, like in old english, the original definition was a synonym with the word body. Right, like if you go all the way back. The similarity definition, is a corporeal similarity.

B: Whenever I'm using like a lot in a sentence I'm just bringing everybody's bodies to bear, fully.

N: inserting your body into the sentence.

B: I wanted to read you something – uh! Beautiful cat! Look at this butt. Skinny butt. I don't like that their assholes are so visible. This is what I wanted to read you earlier about bodies.

B: I mean.. I have those reactions to like cats though, too sometimes. I'm just like oh you're so beautiful. Oh can I set my stuff in your room.

N: Oh so my bedroom is the one room I didn't clean.

B: Oh no worries.

N: Though I really should wash my sheets.

B: I still really don't care unless there's something truly alarming.

N: O-okay?

Scorpios are like intense and sociopathic and super slutty, and like I have my scorpio moments but that's not like the driving force um they're also super slutty, which again I hve my moments. I occasionally check my horoscope, and I follow astropoets on twitter.

N: I follow astropoets too. But I feel comfortable with that because it kind of feels like a joke, but IM not sure that its a joke.

B: I guess I end up touching it.

N: Touching

B: metaphorically, not grabbing grazing. Someething.

N: I guess I read libra stuff sometimes.

B: What are libras like?

N: Indecisive and deliberate, and kind of artsy.

B: Indecisive and deliberate: how both?

N: Those are the poles.

N: I have to go to court, I got in a car wreck, someone broke into our house.

B: What

N: Those are excuses.

B: I have to trick myself into reading my hard books, by sending myself on a trip and only packing my hard books. Otherwise I'll just read sci fi novels all year.

N: I've read like maybe 40 novels in my life. I only read the hard books, so I never read.

B: oh my god, that's like nothing.

N: I mean I read other stuff. Nonfiction, theory.

B: To a certain extent, novels sustained me through high school. I was so miserable and pretty lonely. And I just read all the time, because we didn't have TV or the internet really.

N: Wait.

B: Yeah, no because we were poor. Ish. And my mom was a luddite.

N: Yeah I grew up with the internet, like the first earliest version. Like 1994.

B: What even was the internet back then.

N: yeah it was super slow.

B: but there was no google and it wasn't social. How did you know where to go? Did you just hear rumors about cool websites to go to?

N: I don't know I don't remember really.

B: I remember the first time I went on homestar runner, was because I heard a rumor about it on the school bus, so I looked it up in the library later. Oh, did you have a myspace?

N: yeah well I was in a band, so. Actually a lot of my first internet experiences were through the band. Like emailing and myspace and stuff.

B: So I got the glass replaced, then I went to Texas for christmas and was holding my sisters cat and the phone, dropped the phone, and like the clattering phone freaked the cat out and it dug into my, look at that, the cat dug into my wrist and launched itself, and that's like three months old, and it's still visible.

N: I have one of those, see?

B: how old is it?

N: pretty old, super old.

B: yeah that's not going away. It was a cat?

N: No it was a box, at my old place. I was picking up a box and dropped it and it slid down.

B: eessh

N: Yeah. Do you have any other good ones?

B: I have a seven inch long one the wraps around, you know the sticky-outy bone on the outside of your ankle? Yeah. I have a scar. That's a surgery scar. It’s all nasty and ropy. I've got two little crucifixes on one knee from another surgery. I had a partial ACL tear and a cyst had formed around it and the cyst was interfering with my movement.

N: On both knees

B: Two holes, one knee. We're going to get through all my injuries by the time this weekend is over, huh? Oh I've got a scar on my butt, from when I fell and broke my ribs and back and stuff in july. I scraped my butt, and it ripped my dress. It had a big gash on the side, and I lost one shoe. So the sent me home in hospital issue shoes, these giant velcro converse looking things, with a gash in my dress. It was a good look.

N: Of all the indignities, I feel like losing a shoe is up there. That's like a punchline.

B: You get hit and the shoe just flies off screen.

So part of the reason, obviously not the whole reason, but part of it is she's ready for that new york dick

B: I don't want to shit on new york dick but...

N: Let's just hold on that phrase

B: I feel like its not that great. Um. I mean, I've only really done Boston and New York. But..

N: however mediocre you think it is, it gets worse outside of new york.

B: Of course there's some dick that's so good you have to really make sure you don't lose track of it, but the vast majority of dick just scratches an itch.

B: Yeah, I'm being gone down on not that often right now, like if I ask sure, but now I learned how to come from like heterosexual penetrative sex. I mean not dick only, but I've learned like which positions and what I need to do or whatever. Which is a neat thing to learn how to do as a 26 year old.

N: J is so small she just slivers away and hides in a crease in the sheets when I ask.

B: Haha, you make it sound she's a silverfish. Iunno sex is weird. Like I'm 26 and I just learned to come from dick. Granted I'm super attracted to my partner right now, and my sex drive is a little higher, so I don't really feel picky in that situation. It's been nice to fall a into a pattern together, and learn some stuff and be flexible.

N: Did you see this?

B: I like the big wax tongue.

N: You can touch it.

B: Oh my god it feels amazing.

N: yeah it’s made of a foam rubber

B: Eek! Is that the art?

N: Yeah

B: I stepped on the art. I'm supposed to step on the art, right?

N: Yeah. It's a long unfolding performance art.

B: I am part of the art, then. I wonder how many other people it terrified.

B: Are you in this?

N: That's a good question, I don't know. I stretched some of these canvases though.

B: Is it cheaper to stretch them yourself.

N: well it's cheaper to ship them unstretched and then stretch them

B: do they ever crack?

N: Yeah but I'm doing it to my own stuff mostly.

B: ah. Is it hard?

N: yeah.

pop

B: ahh, I'm wary of the floor now

N: hehehe

B: ahh

N: hehe *continues popping the floor poppers*

B: I really want a new tattoo, but the idea I have is super lame. Egon Schiele has these kind of wrecked looking flowers that I like, but it's a bit of a tumblr girl thing.

N: He's maybe a little a popular for the wrong reasons, but still good. I don't know if I've seen the flowers though.

B: I feel like if I was getting a nude, on ma body, that'd be a little redundant. But--

N: You should totally get a boob like slightly off on your boob.

B: Yes! I really wanted wild flowers though, but they were all too pretty. These are rougher or something. Wildflowers just remind me of home, and of my mom.

N: Schiele kind of looks naive or something as well, which is a good way to hit that from the side.

B: What's the plan. Drinks, chatting, friends, dancing?

N: Theres no plan. I might have a date, but you can come.

B: Would we leave it on if we hung out with people. Also should we like establish boundaries or anything? In terms of your date and the M situation, I kind of want expectations for me and boundaries in place.

N: What do you mean?

B: I mean, we have had sex.

N: Yes, I remember.

B: So like how am I introduced in this context? That seems awkward.

N: I'm putting like no expectations, I mean not 100% comfortable but I'm pretty happy with things just being relaxed. I'm not tryna fuuck.

B: Okay, yeah. I didn't know if I was signing myself up for a threesome or something.

N: I don't even know what this would be, or if it would go anywhere, but no.

B: Okay, yeah. I mean. Yeah, alright. We'll see.

N: Oh your head is cold, why is your head cold? Maybe you were lickin’.

B: Maww

B: how do you .. okay i understand this isn’t a real question, but, how do you make the paint paint? It looks hard.

N: Make the paint paint?

B: How do you make the paint paint? Noun version of paint, verb version of paint.

N: What?

B: It looks hard.

N: Uh

B: Like physically hard.

N: Oh. Some of it is hard. I scrape it off with this razor blade. Oil paint doesn’t dry, it oxidizes. You can sort of reinvigorate it to a certain extent by adding oil, but only to a certain extent because it becomes a hard resin.

B: Oh

N: Actually something else that’s, well this isn’t related. I used to paint on these ones, and now I’m using these

B: canvas and gesso

N: You can’t sort of see, here look at the edge here. There’s a thin see through plastic product.. can you see, where can you see, here. Feel this. It’s soft and then it’s rough. It’s called PDA Size. It’s used in book making. And I’ve been experimenting with using it as a gesso.

B: Ahh. The white ones are crisper.

N: I’m kind of letting the linen texture and color show through to a certain. Yeah and also to some extent I think there’s a reference, one that I’m trying to induce to a traditional technique. Contemporary image logic in a traditional environment.

B: it’s good for flesh

B: Is this alright

N: Are you asking the cat if you can take a picture of him?

B: I’m asking you.

N: Yeah. If you make kissy noise he’ll look at you.

B: Uh, how much gin is in this? Just so I don’t put myself under the table.

N: Like two fingers.

B: you can see it swirling

N: Oh that’s so good. Let me see if I can get it.

B: It kind of stopped. Do you want me to stir? Ohh it started up again.

N: Pretty good. Are you recording?

B: Have been for a second. It’s just there.

Well I do think that I’ve taken on some of our collaborations in the past year into my extended art practice identity, that I’m not just someone who makes paintings, that I also make funky language stuff with you. And so when opportunity came along… Well, and I read a lot of interviews and I’m interested in them, so I am interesting in how their are done. I guess I also feel like I function better on one-on-one, socially.

N: Out of interviews. I think some of it is fantasizing myself into the scenario, like a casual comparing of sensibility. Maybe in a way, that’s a little too meta. But I listen and try and think how would I respond to that?

B: Who do you fantasize yourself as, the, well I guess it’s hard sometimes to tell who’s doing who..

N: I kind of like fiction that feels like my inner voice. Well, I had this thing with a friend in Berlin, this bookclub we started reading ernst junger, and we had plans to read cioran

B: Oh my god I love cioran. I read him in college when I was super sad.. so

N: Excruciating nihilism. At least Nietzsche is kind of enthusiastic about it.

B: Invigorating nihilism. Like it can get perversely generative. Versus cioran is just soo. Ugh. He’s just like morose. In a way, it also wraps back around and becomes a kind of idealized melancholy.

N: Oh god, but he’s just a slow drag on your soul.

B: It was interesting to me, because I want to be more immediate, and have a clearer emotional stake and like psychological or something stakes in the work I’m doing. I like the idea of fantasizing yourself into a situation, [I really like the idea that I’ve fantasized myself into this situation, given the history and given the way desire seems to work on me. It isn’t exactly untrue.]

N: Do you feel like we have clear emotional stakes?

B: By emotional stakes, I don’t mean a channel of intense desire or rage. Though there is some desire and some compexity to it. I mean closer to my self than say an algorithm trained on another person’s texts can get. In a way. Not romantic stakes. I mean I want good things for you and the kitties and the art. And you’ve known me for a while, and in a few different contexts. And the longevity is cool, because we’ve gotten to be different people along the way.

N: I’ve floated the idea with a few people, a few friends that it’s better to have fucked first and then become friends. Like it gets rid of something, or establishes something, or does some sort of work.

B: Thats one thing that continues to flabberghast me. The way that I feel like I know someone after sex. Like I’ve seen them naked and somewhat vulnerable, and they’ve seen me naked and well usually super vulnerable.. That’s true especially lately, in that I’m less alienated from the experience of sex. But I just feel closer or something. And I keep having the experience of feeling close and known, and then that not at all matching up with the other person’s reality, that honestly breaks my heart a little. Like, most often with older straight guys. Like I’ll think that we’re becoming friends, have sex expecting to become better friends, and then have them never speak to me again.

N: Like they’re aiming at something and then once they get it?

B: Yeah, but it kind of baffles me, because I’m not hot shit. Like if you’re trying to make notches in your bedpost, I’m an odd target. I think it’s more that there’s a script or schema in place, where casual sex means someone is disposable. Versus I’ve not had that experience in my queer community. Like sometimes or rarely things will be weird for a bit, but it resolves. Versus these older dudes, just leave me hanging oddly. The younger straight dudes have less of the idea that if you speak to someone after you fuck them, you’re suddenly married.

so like omg do you really need that much moral cover to be a slut?

N: This boy M is just the softest boy, non-threatening and beautiful. But he sleeps with everyone. He slept with my friend and she said he could not admit to himself that he liked sleeping around,

B: he had to keep up the lovelorn performance. God that’s even more violent. Like if a boy is an avowed slut, then you can hit them up and just be honest with eachother. I know those boys. I’ve bedded a few in a my day. They’re great to hit up when you actively dont want emotional work, but want to fuck something. Versus that whole, I’m really serious about finding love but there’s something wrong with you narrative is horrible.

N: bedded... Yeah, it disingenuous. It holds out a sense of false promise to people who are serious, and then it forces slutty people to engage in their weird game. Like over the winter the friend I was talking about got with him, and she said just wanted to cuff him for winter but he couldn’t stop with the

B: wait is that what cuffing means? I thought cuffing season referred to like cuffing your pants.

N: Explain that.

B: Cause it’s fall, so you put away the shorts and you get out the pants, but its a still warmer so you cuff them.

N: You might be right

B: No you’re definitely right, because I also thought thot was slang for a thing you think instead of an abbreviation of that hoe over there.

N: Oh that’s cute. But yeah but she just wanted to cuff someone and the guy thought she was being to calculating about things.

B: Ugh. I would much rather have someone be straightforward and say hey you’re gorgeous, and I want to sleep with you but have no emotional bandwidth for anything else. Like when people pull that shit of like oh I’ve had a crush on you for ten months, let’s fuck, and then I’ll text you for seven weeks, but not tell you when I get a real girlfriend.

B: well yeah. Though I mean there’s a balance to be struck. There’s been like four threesomes that I’ve straight up slept through.

N: Slept through?

B: Like my partner and whoever else set something up, knowing I’d be down, because I’m like perpetually, terminally down.

N: Haha

B: And then by the time they’re like back or ready or whatever I’m curled into a tiny, warm, ball completely unwakeable.

N: I like when they bite me, because they do it so carefully.

B: You like it.

N: less so when they use their claws

B: Oh you’ve never even smoked anything. Oh my god.

N: No and it felt really weird on my lungs. It kind of makes me want to go in a sauna.

B: Oh my god you’ve never been in a sauna? I went like three weeks ago.

N: There’s a big sauna near here that I’ve been trying to go to. It has like private rooms with a hot tub and a sauna.

B: Every trip I’ve taken recently, I’ve managed to get a spa type experience in. Which is super decdent but.

N: I’ve being trying to book this one near here for a while but I haven’t yet

B: We should go tomorrow.

N: I’ll call. Okay so its 25 dollars a person, and they have rooms available later in the evening.

B: You have such a decadent life. Excellent pants, covered in cats, surrounded by art

N: Excellent pants?

B: Excellent pants! Am I wrong? No I was just starting small and working up, but also to be fair, excellent pants are foundational for happiness. Oh, I need to call my sister.. Can I go do that?

N: Yeah

N: so my brain as come up with two options.

B: your brain has

B: I don’t like it. It’s like.. It’s like fake fun. It’s a bunch of people trying to convince themselves they’re cool and interesting. And they’re not. It’s like chill out, you’re a corporate lawyer, sure you’re whipping a woman in front of a crowd of other shills, but that doesn’t mean you’re cool.

N: What would it need to be actually fun?

B: To not be a sex club. To not be forced, or anonymous, or awkward.

N: Yeah well the schwitz is closing down

B: If I was starting a sex club, I would put it in a church and have only one room, with a max of 15 or 20 people. And everyone is chosen for a given party based on how well they’ll get along and how much they have in common. And then time is the factor that determines whether people get down or not, instead of like separate spaces where one is always already a writhing kronenberg monster.

N: I’ve got the avocado, and the hand one.

B: What’s the hand?

N: on my palm I have ‘Ne Travaillez Jamais’. It means never work. But the idea is that the more worn my hands get, the more the tattoo fades.

N: I think I might get another one in new york. This equation kunst equals capital..

B: whats kunst. I know what capital is haha

N: art

B: ahh I see . I thought it might mean pussy is capital

N: haha no. The other one is a ken price drawing of a naked woman with her legs spread, and it says dont think about her while youre driving. But I don’t know how I would get it. Just the text or the text and the image and where

B: Get the image in right here, straddling you. Like you have to shave to get it, but then when it grows back it’ll be partially obscured. If you have any other patchy hair on your body thats what you should do with it

N: Fill it with tattoos

B: Fill it with cunts

N: Are you looking up long legged chicken in jorts?

B: First I’m looking up long legged chicken, because I want relevant results.

N: wow. wow. wow.

B: I might be sleepy. I might be ready for sleep. Is that okay.

N: Yeah.

B: Oh yeah long legged chicken in jorts. Here we go.

N: ahh haha, close.

B: In boxing shorts. The rest are chicks in jorts. Human chicks. You should put a variety of chickens in your backyard.

N: Christine has chickens.

B: Oh my god, does she have americunas?

N: I don’t know you’d have to ask her.

B: If she doesn’t she should get some. They lay colorful eggs. And I think they are good in cold weather as well.

N: Yeah. Okay, I told M I would call her before I went to bed so I’m gonna do that and then come occupy the other half of the bed.

B: Okay, I’m gonna pass out and cudddle your cats. If you want me to sleep on the couch that’s also fine. If that’s neccessary.

N: I don’t think its neccessary.

B: Okay, goodnight.

B: Yeah I sleep okay, except I woke up with a hangover headache so I drank like six glasses of water, then I had to pee a bunch because of all the water. So I slept well except for self inflicted interuptions. Ugh these jeans I missed a button because they’re dumb and they dont have a zipper.

B: Who’s taking care of them while your away

N: Roomate. She’ll just pop down and feed them.

B: So what’s this one. I kind of read a crotch or a breast in the gesture, but...

N: A throat

B: right too furry for a breast

N: I guess my breasts are furry

B: No nipple on the throat.

N: some people have said they read the thumb as a nipple.

B: Kind of, maybe. And this, what’s this? I see a shoe, a foot.

N: Yeah and the blue wrinkles are the edge of a lap

B; so the foot is crossed over like

N: Yeah.

B: [inaudible]

N: [yelling] pigeons.

B: Yay! I think the thing that I liked about the idea, is that one of the art publications I read most is bomb. Which is literally subheaded, artists in conversation. And they have a shit ton of interviews, even a book of them. And I really like the kind of forced out, or half baked, or heavily mediated ideas that come from the space of a conversation between friends. It a faster, hotter way of coming up with stuff. Plus it kind of creates an idealized space of flattened power dynamics. But then on the other side its super parasitic. Like you’re performing being an off the cuff or being equal in order to reap some sort of benefit down the line. Lord knows its somewhat rehearsed and scripted.

For the most part theres a mutuality. The reader gets to use the text to access a kind of empathy or intimacy. Its a cool form. You get more of a stake it your ideas, they’re associated with your self and your body in a way that isn’t true of a lot of other forms. That whole habermas thing about the public, where the subject is stripped away and becomes just a vehicle for an idea, for reason. It’s absurd, but I think the interview can undermine that in some ways. Your self is inserted back in, with its vocal ticks, and gestures, and habits of thought. The body responds to the interlocutor no matter what. I think selfie art kind of makes a similar argument, inserting the body back into the public sphere. We’re doing the same here, in a subtler or more obscured way

B: with images of women or sexualized images of women, its broken in the way that these come from the tradition of having been object for consumption. Which is just one way the subject can be broken there are other ways it can be broken, moreinteresting way. A relationship to a self as a object for masturbation

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