#and it took /literal years/ to get back to 'not immediately concerning' levels of joint pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stefciastark · 3 years

Text

Metal Arm ~ Webpril Day 7

A/N: Here is Part 1 of what will be a 2 part mini-story. Doombots threaten Manhattan, but with a significantly reduced team and some bad luck, things don't go so smoothly for Peter. It only briefly touches on the 'metal arm' prompt, but this is also inspired by a request from Hannah on AO3 to write a bit of 'post-battle injured Peter hides his injury and won't admit anything is wrong.' I'm really excited to write Part 2 tomorrow, had a lot of fun writing this first part!

~Read on AO3

~Read on FFN

Peter had never really been strangled, yet today it had happened not twice, not thrice, but it was bordering on his fourth time being on the receiving end of a chokehold. The Doombot cutting off his air circulation ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time however, as three out of its four limbs were obliterated and sent to mecha-heaven. All except the one heavily bicep-ed metal arm that clung to his throat like shit to a shovel.

“Get. OFF,” he gritted through his teeth, tearing the appendage off of his throat and tossing what was now just a torso, head and forelimb onto the growing pile of Doom scrap metal.

He had to take a breather for a moment and remind himself that these were robots and not real people. Despite how convinced their A.Is were that they were in fact the real Doctor Doom, their suicide missions were nothing more than a result of malevolent - albeit skilled - programming.

“You good, kid?” The Ironman suit hovered a few feet away from Peter, appearing to dance slightly in the air as Peter’s brain started playing ‘catchup’ with oxygen. He felt himself nodding in response, muting his comms momentarily so that what was present of the Avengers wouldn’t hear his breathing; he was pretty sure the exhaust pipe on the old Vauxhall Cavalier his uncle used to own sounded healthier.

The team was small today; Thor was offworld, Bruce didn’t feel like having another near miss after almost levelling another city during an incident the week prior near Seattle, and Clint was - as Tony put it - too busy ‘playing house’ in the country. That left Tony, Peter, and Natasha Romanoff on the mission. Peter was unsure whether to call her Nat, Romanoff, or use her Black Widow alias, and instead anxiously settled for using none of the above and simply avoided using any moniker to address her whatsoever. It had worked out for him well so far.

While it was by no means a three person job, they would have to make do, and so far, they were making...something happen. The showdown had initially begun in Hell’s Kitchen and was progressively and concerningly migrating towards the Lower East Side. The closer the action got to the east side of Manhattan, the closer it got to Brooklyn, and the closer it got to Brooklyn, the more there was a chance of the threat moving to Queens, and Peter wanted to keep the rough and tumble away from his neck of the woods if he could. So far they had left in their wake twelve office buildings turned to rubble, eleven burst sewer pipes, and at least ten separate fires that he was pretty sure were still burning. All they needed now were nine civilian casualties and they were almost halfway to rewriting ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’.

Tony didn’t have time to follow up with Peter’s uncharacteristic lack of a verbal response as two Doombots that had split from the herd attached themselves to the red and gold armour, their green capes combining with the suit to make a metallic caricature of a Christmas tree. Tony had a whole three seconds of warning before their self-destruct protocols were activated, and everything within a 300-foot radius erupted in a shower of rubble, flames, and smoke.

The suit - for the most part - diminished Tony’s impact with the building adjacent to the Tenement Museum. Peter didn’t quite have the luxury of inches-thick armour, and as he sailed diagonally across Delancey St through the glass window of Double Chicken Please, he made a personal vow to make them his new go-to fried chicken joint as a form of apology.

“Stark, was that you?” Nat (Peter decided that was the name he felt most comfortable with) queried over the comms, the distant sound of shots being fired and the purring motorcycle beneath her leaking into the background.

A stream of expletives from the man in question poured in through his suit’s speakers. Peter found it funny that if it were anyone but Tony in any other situation other than their current predicament, the frankly obscene amounts of swearing would be concerning.

“How many left on your end, Rushman?” There was a groan and the uncomfortably familiar sound of shifting rubble. “I think we’ve just about wrapped up here.”

Peter had been working on gently extricating himself from where he lay in a supine position behind the bar, struggling to hold onto consciousness through a haze of pain. The wall between Double Chicken Please and Subway had collapsed, half of it inconsiderately laying across his chest. He noted wryly that he didn’t expect himself to be battling unconsciousness behind a bar until he was at least twenty-one, yet here he was, five years too early.

A large bang went off from what sounded like only a block away, which was then followed by a moment of complete and utter stillness.

“I think our last guests just left the party,” offered as an explanation from Nat, finally breaking the silence.

“Don’t you hate it when you have company and they don’t even offer to help clean up? I am sickened by the youth of today.” Tony had managed to disentangle himself from what could now barely be called a building. The engineer was able to identify the date of manufacture on the most recent wave of Doombots - they were only three months old. “Speaking of, Spiderling, let’s get this cleaned up. I have a date with takeaway and my favourite sweatpants waiting for me at home.”

“Try not to wreck any more buildings while I’m gone, boys,” Nat said, immediately beginning her commute to the Avengers facility.

Natasha had become the face of the Avengers during the inevitable PR followups that seemed to accompany any and every brush with threat since the Chitauri attack on New York. She was level-headed and presented well, and so far had the least amount of tallies on the “PR Fuck-ups” chart that hung in the communal kitchen in place of a calendar. It was the team’s personal inside joke that S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t approve of, which of course made them double down their efforts if it meant ruffling Nick Fury’s feathers.

“Try not to wreck my public image, it’s what funds those luxury bath bombs you keep ordering,” Tony shot back, no venom in his teasing words.

Peter was otherwise occupied during his teammates’ little exchange. He had his arms arranged in an upside down tricep pushup position, palms pressing against the sizable concrete slab that occupied the space from his waist to his sternum. As he lifted the offending cement off of him, he very nearly dropped it back down as the air rushed out of his lungs. Something in his chest shifted sickeningly, followed by a stabbing pain that burned everything from his ribs to his airways. Failure never an option, he persevered, relieved when the hunk of wall finally slid gracelessly down the pile of debris.

He thought having a literal chunk of concrete off his chest would feel better.

“Pete?” His name was said with such a mixture of impatience, exhaustion, and concern that Peter found his nerves standing on red alert. This would be the first hour of many on cleanup duties

Taking a wavering breath, afraid to breathe too deeply, he steadied his voice and activated his comms. “Sure thing Mr Stark, on my way!”

Peter winced; he definitely overdid it on the enthusiasm. With every step he took his discomfort grew until the pain from his chest radiated down to his hips and he had to stop himself from hunching over and limping his way back to the Delancey St intersection. There were only two of them now, a whole lot of city to tidy up, and not a whole lot of time to spend fussing over what was probably just some deep tissue bruising. Plus, this was his first call to action since July, and it was now approaching the end of November.

Bracing himself for the amount of suckthe next few hours would entail, he gritted his teeth against the throbbing that rolled like waves from deep within his chest, and prepared to put on his best Oscar-worthy performance he’d titled: “I’m Fine - A Teenager’s Pledge”.

There was no way he was going to let Tony down.

A/N: There we have it! Things didn't go so smoothly for Peter, and I know he has superior healing and all but this poor boy needs some more safety built into his suit. Tomorrow will be the Part 2 fill for this mini-story, so check back in for the concluding part :) Thank you for all your continued support, kudos, and comments. Please feel free to send any fic requests into my Asks! Sending hugs to you all <3

#webpril day 7 #webpril 2021 #irondad fanfiction #marvel #mcu fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #tony stark fanfiction #peter parker whump #whump fic #h/c fanfiction #h/c #fanfiction #writing prompt #writing challenge #webpril

5 notes · View notes

tonystarkissist · 4 years

Note

How about... tony is jealous of happys role in peters life?

Thank you very much for the prompt! I actually had a lot of fun with this one :D It’s been a while since I’ve written something so simple and short and it was actually pretty nice!

Word Count: 1879

It didn’t really bother Tony all that much at first. He saw it as more of a blessing than anything else that the kid had decided to subject Happy to his ramblings and elaborate voice messages instead of him. It kept his phone message free and his mind sane.

Though, as time passed by, the lack of direct communication just seemed to piss him off more and more.

It was like the kid deliberately took every possible alternative just to avoid speaking with him directly. Heck, the kid had his phone number… his phone number. He never even gave Steve his personal phone number. So, there was no valid excuse for the kid not to call him. Yet, the brat felt the need to make it difficult and relay all his messages to Tony through Happy. And, yeah, okay, Tony might be a bit more understanding if Happy didn’t have the forgetfulness of an elderly man suffering of Alzheimer’s, but he did, and it was quite literally like pulling teeth when he needed to pry information from the man.

“Hap, where’s Peter? You were supposed to drop him off here an hour ago.”

“Oh yeah… the kid’s real sick. He called me this morning and told me to tell you he couldn’t make it. Sorry, I forgot. The kid’s Aunt had me runnin’ all around town trying to find this special Tylenol medicine for him. Oh, by the way, the kid was wondering if you had any super meds leftover from Steve. He kept burning through that over the counter stuff in like 5-minutes.”

It even got to the point where Happy would simply just forward any voice messages he received from Peter straight to Tony because it was such a hassle for him to remember important things. Tony even told the kid that too, suggesting that just maybe he might consider calling his phone to give his after-patrol reports just to make things a little easier, but the kid grinned sheepishly at him and shrugged his shoulders with a simple “I don’t want to inconvenience you Mr. Stark.”

Tony, of course, had rolled his eyes and insisted there was no inconvenience at all. Still… the kid never called and he never texted. The only communication he received directly from the kid was their twice a week meetings in the lab after school got out.

Even then, Tony got the vibe that the kid wasn’t all that comfortable being around him. He refused anything Tony offered him and he wasn’t at all the rambling motormouth Happy made him out to be.

“Kid, you want something to eat?”

“No thank you Mr. Stark. Happy took me to Burger King after school. He even let me get a shake too!”

Tony wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. Jealous was a very strong word. And he wasn’t jealous.

And besides, there was no reason to feel jealous. He was Iron Man. An Avenger. A billionaire. The owner of a multibillion dollar company ran by his stunning fiance. He had no reason to be jealous of his hot-headed, grumpy, slightly delusional head of security who was oh-so desperately in need of a girlfriend. No reason.

Except, maybe he did feel a little prickle of green against his skin when he was reminded of the developing relationship between his mentee and good friend. It was inevitable, really. It should be expected they grow at least a little close. Happy picked him up from school twice a week. Drove him to the Tower and back. More often than not, the man stopped to grab food, per Tony’s instruction, so the boy could eat his fill. Heck, all the things Tony really knew about the kid were via the channel Happy Hogan.

“Y’know, the kid had braces a year ago. Has the retainer glued to the back of his teeth. The kid hates popcorn, ‘cause the kernels always get stuck.” The man had told him while Tony was trying to brainstorm bonding activities for him and the kid and got the idea for movies and popcorn…

“Yeah, the kid hates peppermint. He says it’s ‘cause of the Spider bite. Spiders hate peppermint.” Happy had told him when Tony started freaking out after the kid dashed out the penthouse, hacking and gagging all the way. It was near Christmas… and Pepper loved her Christmas candles.

“You sure about that Tony? The kid’s kinda paranoid when it comes to creepy crawlies.” Tony had learned when his resolve to bond led him to an idea involving spiders, behavior studies, and perhaps a little learning of Peter’s spider-like idiosyncrasies.

Tony liked the kid. He liked the kid a lot. One of best he’d ever met… and the kid obviously worshiped the ground he walked on. And every so often the kid’s shy, tentative exterior would break away and he’d be able to catch a glimpse of the snarky, fun-loving teen beneath it. But sometimes he wished he had more time to spend with him. Maybe then a level of trust and comfort could develop because at this point he felt very out of the loop when it came to important matters.

He was a busy man, he understood that. He understood that he couldn’t always be the one to run to his aid when he got into some trouble. That’s why he had Happy keeping an eye on him… He just wished the kid was more inclined to confide in him rather than the body-guard working under his payroll. Many times, he’d get a call from Happy in the middle of the night, half asleep and exhausted, to tell Tony the kid had found his way into some trouble again and he was requesting back up. It wasn’t that Tony minded the 2am wake up call… he just would have preferred listening to Peter’s voice instead of a grumpy old man’s with sleep apnea.

“Uh, Tony… the kid got hurt again. Just wanted to let you know… I’m bringing him to the med bay and he should be fixed up and back to business before you and Pepper get back from your trip.” Tony had listened to the message and immediately raced the suit back to New York, leaving a confused Pepper alone in their hotel room with a promise to return. And sure enough, as soon as he touched down on the landing pad and made it to the medical wing, Cho was already pulling out the IV from his arm and Happy was helping the kid stand. Tony remembered the exact moment the kid spotted him in the doorway. He was hoping for maybe a little surprise or excitement at his sudden appearance, but all he received was dread. “Mr. Stark,” he had said, “you didn’t have to come. I told Happy not to call you. It wasn’t a big deal.”

But the thing was that it was a big deal! A very big deal because the kid had been hurt and the kid hadn’t wanted him to know about it.

Tony eventually just waved it off with an excuse claiming the kid just hadn’t wanted to inconvenience him again. It didn’t mean anything. Happy was the most logical person to call since Tony was out of the country. It didn’t mean anything. The kid wasn’t picking favorites… so that meant he couldn’t be jealous since there was no reason to be jealous.

Then, one evening while Happy was driving him and Pepper back to the Tower after their date night, a realization hit him. He was tired. Pepper was tired. And they were both drunk off their asses from the champagne and whiskey. Tony doesn’t remember what he said, but he does remember the sharp laugh that emitted from the front of the car. Happy had laughed… he had never heard Happy laugh before. That sound alone broke his drunken, giggly trance with Pepper and he was staring at Happy suspiciously, suddenly concerned that his driver had been guzzling some drinks of his own while he wasn’t watching, but Happy had waved him off. “It’s nothing Boss. I just remembered some silly joke the kid had texted me the other day.” The kid had texted Happy a joke… not because he was hurt, or needed to be picked up…. He hadn’t told Happy a joke simply to fill the silence in the car as they rode together to the Tower, or ate burgers and drank shakes at a lousy table in Burger King. Nope… the kid had gone out of his way to share something with Happy. “He calls ‘em Memes. They’re actually pretty funny.”

Pepper wasn’t so happy with him that night. His feathers had officially been ruffled and he brooded the rest of the night. Pepper had called it pouting, but so what?! Peter had picked a favorite and it wasn’t him…

Despite his growing aversion to the sprouting relationship between Happy and the kid, he didn’t do anything to stop it. That is… until the last straw had been pulled when Happy tried taking a couple hours off.

“The kid’s got a science fair today. He asked me to come and watch since his Aunt had to work.”

Long story short, Happy wasn’t the only one that went to watch Peter win first place.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter squeaked in surprise when Tony approached him, wearing a proud grin and eyeing the trophy in the kid’s hands. “What are- what are- what are you doin’ here?”

“Well, a little birdie told me about your science fair being today. I couldn’t miss out on that, could I? And really kid… really? You didn’t invite me? That one hurt. A stab to the back that was.”

Peter stammered out a long string of apologies and Tony clapped his shoulder with a lighthearted laugh, dusting off the trophy in Peter’s hands with the side of his index finger. “Don’t sweat it, kid. Now how about I take you out for some ice cream? I’ll break you outta this joint and we’ll have some fun.”

“Uh,” the kid’s eyes flickered over to Happy and Tony felt a small wave of jealousy rake over him. There he said it. He was jealous! He wanted the damn kid all to himself. He wanted to be the favorite. Was that so much to ask?

“Nope. Don’t look at him. Just you and me. It’s my turn.”

Peter’s face breaks out into a shy smile and Tony can barely hear his answer over the loud chattering of kids surrounding them. “Uh, yeah… that would… I think that would be kinda nice.”

“Great,” Tony grins, throwing an arm around the boy’s shoulders to pull him closer. “I got the feeling that this is the start of something wonderful kid. Let’s go all out, huh? Ice cream, then back to the Tower for pizza, movies, and some more ice cream. We can watch Star Wars.”

Tony didn’t think it was possible, but the kid’s smile grows even wider. “That sounds awesome Mr. Stark.”

“Sure does,” Tony smirked in triumph and shot Happy a patronizing wink over his shoulder. The man just rolled his eyes and Tony lead the kid out of the gym.

***

Tony’ would also like to happily report that after a month of his incessant demands for Peter’s attention and love, the kid felt it necessary to text him his very first 4 in the morning meme…

… and Happy didn’t get one.

#irondad #irondad fic #iron man #tony stark #peter parker #happy hogan #jealous Tony

132 notes · View notes

aha-my-villainous-thoughts · 5 years

Text

Please, keep me. (Good Omens)

Part 4! This whole practice of writing every day is a lot of fun. I hope I feel the same as the month trickles on.

I will do the links for Part 1, 2 and 3 when I’m at my desktop. I still need a title too!! (found one)

Part 4

The incident of seeking out the little angel should have been a one off affair.

It wasn’t.

It became a frequent exercise in emotional torture for Crowley. Now, when he lurked upstairs looking for the angel, he would have to gamble on the appearance of the Keeper at all. Sometimes he would come out at the right time, following members of his duty. Sometimes he might only be a few minutes late. Sometimes he didn’t come at all. Crowley would wait and grind his teeth in anxiety hoping to catch sight of him before he was called away to his own work. The worry that he would miss the milk-coloured curls and furtive glances made him feel a kind of weariness that settled deep into his bones and drained all the enjoyment out of his day. When he did see the little angel his entire being seemed lifted up by it. There was a small part of him that knew it was foolish to hang so much longing onto another being like this, especially in this manner, but he was too far gone on the Keeper and his soft little ‘Oh!’ to be able to turn back now. Come what may, everything that was his was inextricably tied to what was the Keeper’s.

And he didn’t even know his name.

After several cycles of missing sight of the angel in the refectorary, a resolution slowly started to form in his mind. At first it seemed ridiculous, but over time as the angel’s appearances to the hall became more and more unreliable, the idea became less ridiculous.

He could do what he had done that day in the library. Go into those winding hallways and watch the angel from afar. More and more days saw the angel linger behind in the library, clearly to indulge in reading every book he was charged to care for, and Crowley saw no alternative than to move his spying spot to among the quiet shelves.

The trouble was there was really nowhere to hide. The corridors and hallways were filled to every inch with shelves and books, they curved and branched out in every branch. Including all the way up, high enough that Crowley couldn’t quite see the ceiling in the dim suspended lights of the library. Even if there were a space for him to skulk up in the darkness he was keenly aware that that was altogether far too ridiculous an option to consider.

Ruling out the literal stalking, what if he was spotted? How would he begin to explain it? The little Keeper wasn’t the only angel in the library and if Crowley intended to follow through his mad plan the way he did, he would be risking running into them as well.

No, an alternative was crucial.

He was skulking in his usual spot, arms crossed on the ledge and a stormy expression on his face. The Keeper had not appeared for the fourth day in a row and Crowley was getting impatient. He turned away from the hall, silently grumbling at the entire hall of angels below for not being the correct angel. Instead he stared at the mural of animals, letting his eyes shift sightlessly over the complicated interwoven paintings of plants, tree, flowers and creatures. His thoughts ruminated sluggishly, never straying far from the dull ache in his chest.

To see without being seen. To watch without causing alarm. To exist in the same space and yet be not as he was.

He flickered his gaze between the array of beasts staring back out at him. Large and small they filled the shape, horns and tails and hooves. His eyes refocused as he settled down near the paws of the large golden beast with the mane, seeing a tiny little animal with cupped front paws, large eyes and a little tail. He strained to read the words etched in gold next to it.

Mouse.

An appealing little creation, it looked quick and intelligent. Crowley considered it, eyes narrowing as an idea slowly surfaced. It was possible for angels to manipulate their shape. This vessel wasn’t one made of skin and bone as the animals were. An angel’s true form was already condensed into this form, the wings committed to a different plane to accommodate the requirements of the Paradise She had made for them. Crowley couldn’t remember the last time he had released the boundaries of his current skin to be in his natural form, it was a lot simpler to be in a form that was so tactile and grounded to his environment. In theory he should be able to alter his vessel again, to condense himself down further into a form that could hide in plain sight, sneak through the bookcases and watch his angel without discovery.

He could become an animal.

His eyes lingered on the mouse for some time, considering the brown fur, the twitching whiskers. It wasn’t out of the question but something didn’t ring true for him considering the small thing. He stood and began to walk the edges of the upper mezzanine slowly, considering each animal in turn. Some were immediately dismissed - too large or too bulky or unsuited for the narrow spaces. Others were too colourful or had unnecessary additions - what use would a pair of antlers be in a library?

He considered a creature called a cat for some time. It was agile and slim, with clever eyes and short fur. It would be an excellent form to climb and jump in, its paws perfect for soundless sneaking. Perhaps a touch too big still.

He eyed a winged animal called a fruitbat for some time before dismissing it. The ability to fly might be novel, but he doubted it would prove that useful when clambering across the tops of books. Plus, this animal seems to spend it’s life upside down and he wished to watch his angel the right way up.

This pattern repeated for some time before he came to a stop in front of an animal he would not have believed could exist if it weren’t for Her endless imagination. An animal with no legs at all, a long twisting body and tail. Its head was streamlined to join with the body in one fluid shape. It appeared to have an unusual tongue, and eyes that reminded him of the cat from earlier. This animal was an unnecessary colour - a rather bright green, but that seemed to suit its surroundings. He was sure he could change that, maybe go for something that blended with the shadows a bit better.

Yes, it would do nicely. With some imagination and a little Effort, Crowley would become a snake.

Resolution is one thing, but action proved to be another. After Crowley had finished with his day of duties he retired to his room immediately. To change his form would mostly take time and concentration, and he knew he couldn’t be disturbed once he started.

Shedding his robes and loosening his red hair, he sat in the centre of his bed and closed his eyes. He drew his form into his focus, taking time to identify every part of this current form and its placement. He would need to be able to return to it easily, if he was going to be able to switch between them at will. He took care to memorise the ridges and lines that created his face, the line of his jaw and slope of his shoulders. The speckles of paint that had stained his skin over many years against pale skin. The narrow passage of his hips and the calluses on his fingers. Feeling further outside of his skin he was able to feel the joint that held his wings in the incorporeal plane. The knot of bone and cartilage that passed from intangibility into his shoulder blades would be of particular concern when changing, as it was held in the odd position of both existing and not existing at the same time.

Tracing the shape of what he wished to become into the air in front of him, small fragments of light trailed from his fingertips to sketch out the shape and length of the snake. At first he recreated the one he had seen in the mural, but it became obvious that this snake would be too small for him to condense his essence into without discomfort. He would have to make alterations to the form, whilst still retaining the subtlety of the shape. He still needed to be slim enough to creep. One option was to extend the length of the snake, while thickening the middle to give the body the correct level of strength and muscle required to move himself.

It occurred to him that there was a lot more engineering to create a physical form than he had initially expected, and that he should be even more in awe of Her divine imagination than he already was.

It seemed like many hours passed as Crowley twisted and contorted himself, trying to find the correct ratio to pour himself into the framework.

But finally, somehow, he had done it. He opened his eyes, the golden eyes of a large snake, and began to feel through this new form. Not having arms or legs was certainly an uncomfortable sensation, as he had to lift and move his head with his torso and neck, but his form moved smoothly. He looked at himself, pleased with the recreation of soft glittering scales that moved and writhed as he did. He had thought to adopt the blue of his robes, but instead he had darkened the tone until he had found a pleasing shade of smoky black that would wind into shades seamlessly. Despite himself he had been unable to resist painting the underside of this form with the fiery red of his hair. Maybe it was pride, a form of vanity in something he knew set him apart from his peers. Maybe, should he be discovered, he wanted to worth looking at.

If he couldn’t be himself, he would be the most beautiful snake.

Crowley manipulated his muscular body across the room, experimenting with his new form. It was surprisingly pleasurable to slide through the sheets in such a way, surfaces feeling almost luxuriously soft against his scales. He twisted himself up into a coil, resting his head on his tail. He lifted himself up leading with his head, flicking his new forked tongue out in concentration. He found he could extend a very long way just by using the muscles along this body.

A very clever design. He had picked well.

He hissed to himself in pleasure. He would be the very best snake. He would creep into the library and he would be able to watch his charge in peace, observing from the shadows and following along sneakily as the Keeper went about his duties. Oh yes, he would be a very good sneak.

“I am sssnake,” he announced to the room.

7 notes · View notes

sponfawn · 5 years

Text

MTH - Rowdy Bros (part 2)

Continuing from part 1, I'm not going to do every interaction in every chapter, but I'm going to analyze interactions in some key scenes.

* He knows how to use it/Lonesome when you go

In chapter 5, the scene with the team of school shooters happens. We get a lot of new information regarding the Boys' priorities, general lives, and interactions. Some of the info isnt surprising, since we know they work for an evil corporation, but it does give more explicit insight into their experiences. The Boys are completely unconcerned with the hostage situation - Brick is just annoyed, Butch is excited cuz there's a surprise with guns and even impatiently asks if the gunmen will shoot Brick or what, and Boomer's reaction is very nonchalant and relaxed.

Boomer acts like they're people he's just met (tho not new friends). Hes familiar, laid back, and just talks to his brothers like he normally would, as if the gunmen aren't of any significance at all. When one of them tells him to get on the ground, he literally just pouts back like a little kid and says no. Brick literally only decides to help cuz Blossom so desperately needs him to. From the exchanges with the gunmen and each other, we see more clearly what the Boys have likely done. Boomer can tell from a glance what type of gun the guy near him is carrying, all 3 of them know what the human brain looks like outside of the body (with disturbingly casual responses to the idea of it), and a bit later Brick instantly field strips one of the guns. They're familiar with identifying and handling advanced weaponry, and are clearly desensitized to extreme and traumatic levels of violence at 17 years old. But the most important thing that we get from this scene, I believe, is the dynamic that the Boys have.

Brick knows that due to their heroic duties, the Girls will be vigilant for their opportunity to strike, that they automatically will prioritize taking down the shooters to save the hostages, and that theyre perceptive enough to follow Blossom's lead in a split second. He know that his brothers don't have that same motivation, and is concerned that they won't get the message. But all he has to do is say, "Boys", and they snap to attention, Boomer prompting him for directions. All he says is, "help" - hardly an order - but they immediately understand and are ready to jump into action as soon as they get the signal. Brick can say what he wants about their lack of dilligence and obedience, but Boomer and Butch are on it when it comes down to testy situations. Butch still ends up collecting a bunch of guns and shooting various gunmen, and he's not as efficient as Brick would like because of his manic enjoyment of violent/dangerous situations, but he is ready to throw down for Brick at the drop of a single word. Putting a pin in this as well.

* beach episode! - we’ll still have the summer after all

Pretty early on in this chapter, Butch’s raging jealousy makes its first appearance (upon finding Brick and Blossom interacting alone on the beach). Because he works through his emotions with physical activity, he starts the (series of) iconic volleyball games. After the game between Blossom and Buttercup ends, Boomer and Butch try to get Brick to play a game with them. In the struggle between Brick trying to escape and his brothers trying to drag him to the net, he slips out of his shirt and all of the girls present flip their shit. As expected at this point, Butch, but also more surprisingly Boomer, becomes jealous, as well as the rest of the guys present. When Butch realizes that even Buttercup finds Brick attractive, he goes as far to say, "you're not allowed to find my brother hot!" After Brick declares hes going swimming, some of the guys say “girls suck”, to which Butch bitterly replies, "no, Brick sucks." He holds a ton of animosity and resentment towards Brick, certainly more than Boomer generally expresses for him. Yet, soon after, when the fighter aircraft attacks, Butch is the first to join Brick and pull up by his side when he yells for the others to pull back. After he orders Butch and Boomer to keep the aircraft flying at the same altitude and lead it away and then back towards him, Boomer is the one who asks what he's doing, Butch says nothing. After Brick rips out the aircraft's embedded computer, Blossom begins to examine it. He asks if she has any use for it, and as soon as she says no, he says "Butch, fire", and Butch immediately destroys it in her hand. He responds as quickly as if Brick had pushed a button to fire a laser. It's automatic, and he knew exactly what Brick wanted him to do, with no further explanation. It's also interesting to me that Brick didn't order Boomer to do it. While it may have been coincidence, I also want to put a pin in this thought.

After the Boys go home, and Brick finds out that Darius took over and they have to stay another year, he tells his brothers. And this time it's not Butch who sticks around, but Boomer. After Butch has already left, he helps Brick get blankets and a pillow for the couch, tries to cheer him up. He wants to go, but he knows Brick's emotional state is fucked up and he seems to actually care about him in that. After Brick tells him to leave, when he closes the front door, Boomer can't hold his smile in anymore cuz he's finally free to go back and see Bubbles. I think this is the first time when we see Boomer concerned about Brick, in terms of his emotional well-being. I would say his behavior still has an air of obligation about it, but it tells us that he cares about Brick and is loyal to him, in a way that is otherwise rarely shown.

* bonus chapter: Imperfect boys with their perfect lives

This bonus chapter is short, but it does reveal some things about our Boys. The first thing we find out is that the other field agents at JS genuinely like the Boys. They refuse to let Penny hire movers, insisting that they help. Later, they gather around and laugh as Butch chugs a gallon of coffee. Another detail of note, is that before they attend Townsville High, the Boys seem to have a slightly more amicable, normal (on the surface) sibling dynamic. Brick is still a grumpy pissbaby, complaining about how Darius wants them out, and he threatens to strangle them after they almost cause the Girls to discover them in the movie store. But he lets the Boys do what they want within reason. Boomer tries to lightly cheer him up, and even Butch seems to try to improve his mood, saying that once Brick is in charge of JS he can wipe Townsville off the map. In other scenes in other chapters, the Boys still joke and pick on each other like siblings, but I think that perhaps due to the toll Townsville takes on Brick’s mood and stress levels, along with Boomer and Butch’s growing relationships with the Girls, their dynamic is more strained. At JS, things were generally going according to Brick’s plan, and we’ve seen how an improved mood can change Brick’s entire demeanor and behavior towards them - going so far as to shorten Butch’s punishment by a week. In Townsville, I imagine he’s in a chronic bad mood, even for Brick standards.

* hey there Mr blue, we’re so pleased to be with you

The scene I want to talk about in chapter 7, is when Brick sacrifices Bubbles to the black blob that Him deployed. Again, we see Butch’s automatic loyalty to Brick. Buttercup is choking Brick, when Butch whacks her away.

When Blossom rebukes him for protecting Brick, Butch repeats that she’s not his leader, that she shouldnt even think about giving him orders (and we’ve seen how immediately responsive he can be to orders that Brick gives). Even when Buttercup, his best friend, tells him to move he is resolute, taking a fighting stance. We know that he’s reluctant for things to escalate, watching Buttercup carefully, as he tells Brick to explain quickly. But his resolve never visibly wavers. Meanwhile, Boomer doesn’t move an inch to protect Brick. He’s simply in shock, over what happened.

When Brick comes up to him, Boomer does something that we haven’t (and that likely Brick hasn’t) seen him do before. He directly questions Brick’s actions. In the scene with the aircraft, he asks Brick what he’s planning to do. But it’s because he wants to know what the plan is, not because he’s accusing Brick of making a bad or questionable decision. In this scene, he is showing outward disapproval of what Brick thought was the best decision. And not only that, he (a literal employee of Evil) is questioning how Brick (a verified supervillain and coworker in the industry of Evil) could do that to Bubbles, a superhero. No wonder Brick is unsettled, Boomer is expressing dissent, and suddenly has morals in regards to a superhero.

* Monday broke my heart

Chapter 9 has 2 important scenes that I want to discuss: interactions between his brothers and Brick the day after his date with Blossom, and some interactions at Robin's party. After the date, Brick is miserable. He doesn't sleep at all, he doesn't eat, he doesn't shower, he just hunches over the kitchen table all night. His brothers, who feel much better about their nights, try to cheer him up at least half-heartedly. Boomer is the one who asks if he's eaten, if he wants or needs anything. Butch encourages him to take a shower. After he finally does, they burst into his room, joint in hand. Boomer tells him to cheer up, Butch says "don't suppose you're gonna tell us what's up", and they just spend time with him, passing the joint around. It's scenes like this that I really treasure regarding the Boys. None of them are very communicative or vulnerable with others, and only Boomer seems to have much emotional intelligence in terms of self-knowledge and caring about others' feelings, but both Butch and Boomer do try to be there for Brick, in the ways that he allows them to be. It's easy to forget that between the ribbing, resentment, and abusive discipline.

Unfortunately, it's not even a week later (on a Friday, after several miserable days of Blossom basically ignoring him, and of trying to convince himself it's just adolescent hormones) when Brick turns his own emotional unrest against Boomer. He accuses Boomer of letting Bubbles get to him too much, of listening to her too much, and not having his priorities straight. He tries to order Boomer to break up with Bubbles, even threatening to make it more difficult for Boomer when they return to their jobs. And while he makes some good points about some of the unhealthy aspects Boomer's relationship with Bubbles (like fixating on her at the expense of his own interests and personal time, and becoming overdependent on her), he is absolutely projecting his own feelings and priorities onto Boomer. I think in a way he's worried about Boomer getting hurt like he is hurt, assuming it's inevitable and that it's just due to some distracting hormones.

He doesn't want Boomer to be "trapped". But it's still really very much about himself. He doesn't want Boomer to "drop everything [he's] doing if she so much as utters a word", and throw away everything Brick's been working for. He wants Boomer to do what he hopes he would do in that situation.

This exchange sends Boomer flying to Bubbles, and in their conversation, he reveals some very important aspects of his motivations, and his relationship with Brick.

Boomer is not invested in Evil. We've seen his more passive nature compared to Brick and Butch, and his active efforts to try to be good for Bubbles, something Brick would probly never even consider. Brick obviously makes the calls, and Boomer goes along with it cuz he literally has nothing else to do. His motivations so far have been his loyalty in emotional attachments, and lack of moral conviction. But recently, those things have been changing. Now he has someone he loves who reciprocates in a clear, communicative way. And that same person is teaching him what being "good" means, and asking him to change. In contrast, Butch goes along with Brick out of loyalty to a degree, and also cuz where else is he going to be able to get out his aggression and superpowered physical need for destruction and violence? Where else is he going to be able to handle dangerous weapons, and have enough money to self-medicate? Especially since, by himself, he's doesn't exactly inspire confidence in his reliability or ability to think on his feet.

Getting back to the scene, Boomer is venting about Brick wanting him to break up with Bubbles. And he frantically rants about how Brick is the leader, Butch is the tough guy, and he has nothing. How he's the runt, that the only thing people ever remark about him is that he's the stupid one, that his brothers don't need him for anything. That the one thing that makes him special is his music gift, but even that isn't really his. He's got some serious self-esteem issues, especially in regards to his brothers. Bubbles tries to calm him down, and Boomer ends up Bubbles about the Boys' job. Again, in their conversation, we get a little peek into his inner world, and his relationship with Brick:

Here we see that Boomer still cares about Brick, and still feels a sense of brotherly obligation to him. But I think he's pretty much done in terms of long term loyalty. I think he'll always care for Brick, but he's deciding in this moment that he won't always follow his lead, there's an expiration date. It'd be really interesting to see how Brick reacts to that when the time comes. I'm gonna put a pin in this thought as well.

Just before the party, Blossom and Bubbles go over to the Boys' apartment to give Boomer a haircut. As Blossom's beginning to cut his hair, Brick enters the apartment. After Brick asks what the they're doing, and Blossom says she's cutting Boomer's hair, Boomer makes a point of showing another act of defiance. He addresses Brick, making sure that he can see him reaching for Bubbles' hand - a silent, but pointed rebellion against Brick's previous orders to break up with her.

At the actual party, the infamous truth or dare game plays out. The part I want to talk about is when Buttercup kisses Brick on a dare, and Brick and Butch's subsequent interaction. As Brick goes back inside, Butch is waiting behind the door, glaring at him.

Brick glanced at him and frowned. What?”

Butch just stared at him, fuming.

��What, Butch?” Brick sighed.

“You're a fucking dick,” Butch spat, shaking his head, and shoved past Brick as he went back upstairs.

Brick's initial reaction, reads as confused. His second reaction is tired, exasperated, and I feel like he's just like "ugh what now". Like this is a repeated issue, where he doesn't know why Butch is mad at him. And this to me just demonstrates a continuous utter lack of understanding, in terms of Butch's perspective, and a surprising lack of pattern recognition for Brick. The only reason we've seen for why Butch is ever pissed at Brick, is due to jealousy. His reactions and behaviors are pretty damn consistent. But Brick just doesn't connect the dots, whether cuz of his issues with analyzing emotions, or cuz he was lost in thought. Either way, he fails to realize how attached Butch truly is to Buttercup. He doesn't see that it's not just Boomer (and himself) who's "trapped" by one of the Girls. And to be fair, Butch himself doesnt know it, but for someone who declared that he knew Butch and Boomer, he really doesn't know shit about Butch's internal experiences. This point of resentment and bitterness on Butch's part is a good jumping off point to go into a quasi-conclusion built from the many scenes I've put a pin in.

Butch is deeply loyal to Brick. We see this in many scenes. During the incident with the mama monster and her babies, Butch tells Blossom, "you ain't my leader". He says this again when defending Brick against Buttercup and Blossom in chapter 7. At the beach, Butch executes orders without question, and without hesitation. At a single word, he immediately eyebeams the computer in Blossom's hand, almost as quickly as if Butch was a gun and Brick had pulled the trigger. And all of this is in spite of the deep-seated jealousy and resentment Butch holds for Brick, the fact that he treats Butch like crap, beating the shit out of him over disobedience, and the fact that Brick is a controlling killjoy. So why is he so unquestioningly loyal to Brick? I think one aspect is that he obviously cares about his brothers. Yeah Butch makes fun of them, and gets mad at them sometimes, but that's what siblings do. Regarding the abuse, he has literally said that the reason Brick is so hard on him is cuz "he deserves it" (chap 3). This is a common mindset in abuse victims, and Butch is no exception. This next reason doesn't necessarily have much evidence, so its more of a headcanon, but i think he's also aware, to an extent, of how Brick has taken care of him and Boomer. He knows Brick got them out of Him's grasp, knows he's basically why they have a job with JS at all, why they've had good income. He's not the most analytical, but he's observant of others' moods, emotions, and behavior. We've seen him be so with literally everyone in the hallway when the Boys first attend school, with Blossom and Brick, with Buttercup, Mitch, etc. He acts like a dumbass, but he's not stupid. I think he sees how Brick has had his back (at least against outsiders), and this is a contributing factor to his loyalty. There's also the fact that siblings often fuck each other over, and still love each other and remain loyal to each other. As much as theyre atypical siblings, they're still brothers.

In contrast, Boomer seems to not be as unconditionally loyal to Brick. He tries to be there for Brick, particularly in terms of emotional support, but he is more inclined to ask questions about orders, and when it came to Bubbles he's even willing to outwardly show defiance against Brick's judgement. Ultimately, Boomer is very emotion driven. For loyalty, he needs to love and be loved. He loves Brick, and I think Brick loves him too. But Brick is not exactly demonstrative in his brotherly affection, and I think Boomer needs that. He craves and needs recognition and affirmation. Brick recognizes that Boomer is emotionally driven, but doesn't realize his emotional needs. And that is where Brick fails as a leader. Brick doesn't recognize the need for different leadership styles, based on the needs of his brothers/team. And that is why he's going to lose Boomer eventually. To someone who reciprocates and demonstrates their affection for him.

* Tried to stick a dead body inside me

This last part is on Chapter 10, with particular focus on the symbolism in the Vortex. I've already basically outlined my theories on this in relation to the Boys' dynamics in a post (link in the reblog), but I'll briefly summarize. The actions that happen in the Vortex, as well as the different positions of the Boys, is very important in regards to their relationships with each other. Boomer is at the lowest place, reflecting his lack of self-worth compared to his brothers. He stands at the bottom of a deep pool. He's alone in the cold, dark depths of the water, and the only way out is up. Brick is in the middle, standing on the floor around the pool. He has more freedom of movement than Boomer, and can make more choices. But soon he finds that he's swallowed up by rising waters as it floods outside of its designated area, disregarding boundaries, unable to be compartmentalized. It reflects his loss of control over his situation/environment, his inner turmoil, and relatively recent inability to simply contain and subdue his emotions. Butch is at the highest point, on a fence with Buttercup, feeling free and at peace with her at his back. Because he is literally "on the fence", with Buttercup on the other side, I feel like he might be (subconsciously) reevaluating where his loyalties lie - with Brick, or with Buttercup. It's worth noting that he is only able to be at that height when she is with him. As soon as Brick moves through her as if she's not there, Butch is eviscerated and pushed backwards off of his perch. And the culprit responsible for cutting him open and pushing him off the fence, forcing him "back in his place" or "back in line", is Brick - the one person Butch always seems to lose to (in his mind at least). This also reflects how Brick uses violence to discipline Butch and keep him in line, and that he tries to use that punishment as a way to regain control (since he unknowingly uses Butch's insides to pull himself out of a situation he couldn't control).

Going back to Boomer and Brick, Boomer is the weight dragging Brick down, reflecting Brick's view that Boomer is the runt, and also more recently, a liability due to his attachment to a certain blonde, blue-eyed Powerpuff Girl. Boomer sees Bubbles and her nurturing, loving care for him as a way out of the dark isolation he feels at the bottom. And that's the way he feels with his brothers. He's left behind, alone and cold, Brick and Butch far above him. But he has no hope that they will help him up. It's only Bubbles who seems to see him down there, and altho she doesn't help him either, she does inspire him to gather the strength to pull himself up to grab hold of her.

The symbolism honestly conveys their current relationships with each other, and their internal experiences, in such a concise and creative way that it gets me every time.

TL;DR

Butch is extremely loyal to Brick in an automatic and unquestioning way, despite all the resentment he has for Brick. But I theorize that that may be changing, very slowly, due to Buttercup. He genuinely cares about his brothers, even tho he rags on them a lot and isn't demonstrative or expressive about it. He seems to internalize the idea that he deserves violent consequences for misbehavior, and I wonder how much of his self-destructive behaviors are linked to that.

Boomer is loyal to Brick, but it's not quite as ingrained as Butch's loyalty. Bubbles is heavily impacting his loyalties, partly cuz, generally speaking, Brick and Butch make him feel worthless while she makes him feel wanted and loved. I think he knows his brothers care about him to an extent, but he has emotional needs that they arent willing or able to fulfill. He and Butch are closer than he is to Brick, and I think he understands Butch better than Brick does at least.

Brick is much more emotionally driven than hed like to admit. It influences what he allows his brothers to do, and how he enforces discipline on them. He's pretty typical in terms of thinking that his abuse and manipulation is justified or acceptable. I think he actually wants what he thinks is best for his brothers, but it's very tied to what he wants and thinks is the best path. He projects a lot of his wants and issues onto them. I don't think he's ever imagined a future where they weren't a team. Despite his emotional nature, he lacks emotional intelligence and doesn't understand or know Butch and Boomer nearly as well as he thinks he does. He knows their behavior extremely well, but not the inner processes and motivations that drive that behavior. And I think that's gonna trip him up.

#sbj more than human #rowdy bros #part 2 #its a super long one #im sorry #i wouldve broken it up #but i felt the points i was trying to make #might be more confusing if i broke it up

71 notes · View notes

iwritekpopthings · 5 years

Text

Dystopia (Ch. 12 & 13)

Characters: You, B.A.P, others Genre/ Warnings: sci-fi/ supernatural Word Count: 1486

Daehyun slowly opened his eyes to a dark room, lit only with the light from the moon outside. He was laying on his back on the floor, a massive headache pounding through his head. Jongup sat next to him and looked over as Daehyun sat up.

“So we got caught, huh?” Daehyun groaned when Jongup made an agreeing noise. “Perfect.”

“And we’re stuck. This is an anti-Skill cell.”

“Even better.” Daehyun got up and walked over to the red, darkly glowing bars that kept them in this prison. The boys fell into silence as they waited. Both were hoping to be rescued, of course. But at the same time, they hoped the group wouldn’t sacrifice themselves just for the two of them.

***

“There’s a side door here that will lead to the lower levels.” You led Youngjae and Himchan over to an old service door.

“Hopefully the others won’t take too long to catch up.” Youngjae mumbled. They had left Yongguk, Junhong, and Sae to fight the guards they had encountered when they broke in. Luckily it was only a few that heard the alarm before you were able to turn it off. But you were concerned that by now the whole area was aware of the intruders.

“They’ll be fine. Let’s focus on finding Jongup and Daehyun.” Himchan reminded the two of you.

Youngjae nodded and took the lead, his eyes glowing yellow as he tried to Seek out his friends. A puzzled expression came over his face and you could feel your heart beat faster. “What the hell..?” He grumbled in frustration. “So, there’s these holding cells two levels below. But one of them is all… blurry. I can’t See what’s in there.”

“That’s gotta be them.” You said, looking around for the stairs that you knew were close by.

“Wait, there’s more cells one more level down. One of those is blurry, too.”

“So one is a decoy.” Himchan ran his hand through his hair.

You clenched your fists in frustration. “Let’s split up then. It’ll be faster.” The other exchanged glances. You sighted the stairs and motioned for the boys to follow you.

You went down two levels and paused near the door. Youngjae was getting angrier the longer he tried to find Daehyun and Jongup. “I can’t See through it and it’s so damn frustrating.” He whispered, finally letting his Skill relax. His eyes turned back to brown as he looked at you and Himchan. “You two take this level, I’ll go down one more.”

You stopped him. “Wait, I’ll take this level while you two go down. If we run into trouble I know the layout better. Meet back at the exit if you find them. If no one is in the cell, run.” You turned the door handle and went in, not even giving them a chance to respond.

“Dammit, that is not a good plan.” Himchan and Youngjae both came in after you. The door shut behind them with a resounding thud and the three of you paused.

You wanted to growl in frustration. “We don’t have time for this.” You hissed at them quietly.

Himchan rolled his eyes. “We have all the time in the world if it means keeping all three of us alive.”

“I’ll be fine-”

“You can’t guarantee that.” He argued back.

“What? Do you not trust me to bring them back? Well listen-”

“No, you listen,” Himchan’s authoritarian tone could not be argued against, even in a whisper. “What if a whole legion of robots is in one of those cells? What if you find the two of them, but they’re both knocked out and you can only carry one? I’ve thought this through, believe me.” He gave you a moment to take that in before saying your name quietly. “I know you want to find them just as badly as I do. And yes, splitting up would be faster. But I know we’re better together.”

His argument was solid. “Fine, let’s go through the levels together.” They nodded and you led the way into the jail.

Together, you slinked through the hallway. It was eerily quiet and unguarded. “This feels weird.” Himchan whispered, barely loud enough to be heard.

“I agree…” Youngjae’s eyes lit up again. “But the blurry cell is coming up, so we have to keep going. It’ll be on the left.”

“There.” You pointed to a jail cell with dimly glowing red bars. You glanced around and the coast was clear. You ran to the cell, stopping in front of it. Inside was just a patrol robot. It stood up and turned on. The jail gate opened and you backed up quickly. “Not this one, not this one!!” You ran past the boys toward the door. They turned and were directly behind you as a siren started going off from the robot.

The three of you made it through the door safely, trying to catch your breath. “Now we’ll have to hurry. The next floor will be ready for us.” Himchan pulled out his gun, ready to fight. You and Youngjae did the same.

“Even so, let’s go. We have to find them.” You started down the stairs, feeling the stress of the mission. You were struggling, still feeling the pain that Jongup was feeling. It was as if his Skill wasn’t affected by the dampening effects of the cell. Either that or you were both so closely, intricately connected that there was no stopping his Skill. You shook your head and kept going. You could feel that you were getting closer.

At the next door, the three of you paused one more time. Youngjae looked at you and Himchan before turning the handle and opening the door. The three of you Slipped in quietly this time. As you looked around the corner, you froze. Five patrol bots and a handful of human guards were waiting for you. You, Himchan, and Youngjae exchanged looks, your resolve clear in your eyes.

“Let’s go.” Himchan led the charge, coming out with his gun firing faster than anyone could keep track of. He immediately took out three humans before they could even realize what was going on. Youngjae followed after him, shooting with great accuracy while sirens began to blare from the robots. You watched for a moment, looking for the right cell. Once you had found it, you grit your teeth and brought your gun out.

The robots shot back and the noise was deafening. Your ears rang as you aimed for their weak spots. Joints and the head. You helped disable one before moving a few yards ahead. You shot at the last two humans, taking them down enough to eliminate the threat. Himchan and Youngjae had the rest of the opposition well occupied. You took a chance and ran for the cell.

“Jongup!” You saw him as he ran to the gate, calling out your name. You reached through the bars and when your hand touched his, electricity shot out of the bars like they were being short circuited. A spark equally went through the two of you as you watched Jongup’s eyes become green.

“I’m here, too!” Daehyun said, coming to the bars as well.

You blinked quickly, your entire body humming. So much was happening at once. You could hear two more robots fall behind you and just as you were going to take a glance back, bullets grazed your left arm. You let out a yelp but refused to let go of Jongup’s hand.

You noticed the bars of the gate didn’t let the bullets through. Was it supposed to be impenetrable? You bit your lip and looked at Jongup who was watching the fight with anger and concern clear on his face. Daehyun had the same expression, eager to join the brawl. You looked away and spotted a ring of keys that had fallen to the ground nearby. You reached for it with a shaky, bleeding left arm but you still couldn’t quite reach it.

Suddenly your arm was grabbed and you were yanked abruptly from Jongup’s grasp. You cried out as the robot held you up by the arm, dangling you in the air. All bullets stopped. You were the hostage now. The robot stopped it’s siren and the silence was heavy. “You may take the two men and leave. Do not follow.”

You looked around while desperately trying to escape. The boys were all frozen in place. The robot walked backwards and you screamed as it jerked you one more time, keeping you in front as a shield. You looked at Jongup one more time and it felt like your heart was literally breaking. He was holding his left arm in obvious pain, but his expression brought you to tears. It was a look of defeat. Like he just knew he was losing you. And that there was nothing he could do.

★☆★☆★☆

CH. 13 Word Count: 832

You stopped struggling against the robot. It was only making your arm hurt worse. It was climbing a spiral staircase that you knew led to the President’s room. A room you had hoped to never go back to. You cringed as you entered; Tera was the first thing you saw. She looked gaunt, older than she should for only being one year apart.

“Ah, finally.” She smiled wickedly. The robot dropped you unceremoniously onto the bloodstained carpet. It then held you down, keeping you from moving away. “You have done a good job of avoiding me so far, my friend. But the second you met that group of ruffians, I had you. It was only a matter of time before you would be back here on your knees before me.” You glared up at her. “Well? Aren’t you going to say anything?”

You looked around the room before meeting her eyes again. “So is this it? You’re going to just kill me here and be done with it? What will that accomplish? I’m not hurting you. You could have just left me alone.”

She shrugged. “I could have. But you’ve always been a threat. One I’ve wanted to erase for years, actually.” Her cat-like smile made you shiver involuntarily. “But dear, I’m not going to kill you just yet. You’re going to stay in the lower levels for a while so I can play with you.” The robot pressed down on you harder.

You looked down at the ground and gathered your strength. You were going to make one last-ditch effort. You weren’t going down like this. Quickly, you Slipped out from under the robot, lunging up. You grabbed Tera around the neck, squeezing as she grabbed your forearms. The robot tried to grab you again and again, but each time you Slipped away. Eventually the robot stopped and sat back to wait for the right opportunity. You brought Tera down to the ground, still choking her with your hands.

She glared and used her legs, pushing you off of her. You rolled away and both of you stood up, facing each other. Tera grinned, grabbing the short knife from her desk. “You wanna end it like this, huh?”

“Yes.” You picked up a slim vase. The two of you ran at each other and you managed to land the first blow, a hard hit to her sternum. Even though you knocked the wind out of her, she was able to grab your hair, pulling you in. She stabbed directly into your stomach and you hissed. You backed away with her knife still in your abdomen. You fell down to one knee, your vision wavering as you looked at the blood stain your clothes.

“Well, I guess this is how it ends. Not what I wanted, but it’s fine.” She walked closer and loomed over you.

Gathering the last of your strength, you pulled the knife from your body and lunged up. As you moved, you slashed into her throat, taking the dictator by surprise. You pushed her back as blood flowed out of both of you. Her eyes were wide as she stepped back. She muttered a curse before falling to the ground. She didn’t move after that.

You fell to your knees, breathing heavily. You brought a hand to the wound on your stomach, closing your eyes against the pain there. Gunshots were blasting around you suddenly, but you couldn’t find the energy to care.

Jongup caught you just as you fell sideways. His own body was wracked with pain as he looked you over. It felt like death. “No, no, please, you have to stay with me.” He called out your name and held you tightly to his chest.

He felt you move one hand to touch his arm and he pulled away, looking into your eyes. They were dull. Too dull. “Jongup, weren’t you.. weren’t you going.. to..” You coughed, blood coming from your mouth. “to tell me s.. something..?” “I want to hear it. Please…”

Even your mental voice was weak and he fought to remember what the hell you were talking about. Then he found it, knowing what you wanted to hear. “I love you.” His eyes turned green as he repeated his words again and again, caressing your cheek. He kissed your lips lightly before resting his forehead against yours. “I love you, please don’t go, I need you…”

“I.. love you, too..” Suddenly a green spark visibly went off between you and your eyes went wide with surprise. Your pain was easing, still present, but much more tolerable. Your wounds stopped bleeding. It was like even the world around you froze. Jongup glanced around, looking you up and down with surprise. “Jongup, what are you-”

“You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you.” He told you, looking into your eyes as you suddenly felt incredibly tired. “Everything’s going to be okay.” His voice was the last thing you heard before everything went dark.

★☆★☆★☆

#baplibrary #Moon Jongup #sci-fi supernatural genre #slow burn #moon jongup x you #gender neutral mc #sorry to put the 2 chapters together #but they were short so yeah #'Dystopia' story tag

8 notes · View notes

newstfionline · 3 years

Text

Friday, July 9, 2021

Climate crisis ‘may put 8bn at risk of malaria and dengue’ (Guardian) More than 8 billion people could be at risk of malaria and dengue fever by 2080 if greenhouse gas emissions continue to rise unabated, a new study says. Malaria and dengue fever will spread to reach billions of people, according to new projections. Researchers predict that up to 4.7 billion more people could be threatened by the world’s two most prominent mosquito-borne diseases, compared with 1970-99 figures. The figures are based on projections of a population growth of about 4.5 billion over the same period, and a temperature rise of about 3.7C by 2100. The study, led by the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine and published in the Lancet Planetary Health journal, found that if emission levels continue to rise at current rates, the effect on global temperatures could lengthen transmission seasons by more than a month for malaria and four months for dengue over the next 50 years.

Slow trickle of rental aid heightens concern about eviction crisis (Washington Post) The White House, along with state and local governments, is under growing pressure to significantly ramp up the amount of emergency rental relief reaching tenants and landlords, as some economists and housing advocates say the Biden administration’s attention to the eviction crisis is coming too late. Weeks before an eviction moratorium put in place by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention expires on July 31, much of the federal aid meant to help tenants and landlords has not reached them. Many are not even aware that the assistance is available, or they continue to struggle with onerous and complicated application rules. Some programs run by state and local governments took months to get up and running. All told, Congress has appropriated roughly $46 billion for emergency rental aid. Of the $25 billion appropriated in December, only $1.5 billion had been spent on rent, utilities and arrears between January and the end of May, according to figures released Friday by the Treasury Department.

In Atlanta, a glimpse of why ‘defund the police’ has faltered (CSM) Social justice activist Kelsea Bond spends a lot of time canvassing Atlanta’s highest-crime neighborhoods. Her mission: Convince residents that, if core social and economic inequities were resolved, crime would abate and the city wouldn’t need a police department. Less than a year ago, amid massive social justice protests across the United States, the idea of fundamentally reducing the role of police rose from nonstarter to distinct possibility. Atlanta came within one city council vote of cutting $72 million from its police department. Today, however, that momentum has almost completely reversed. Ms. Bond says there has been “a doubling down on policing, increasing surveillance, and building a massive training center, which is in such stark contrast to the conversation we were trying to begin over the summer. What happened? What changed?” The simple answer is crime. Like other cities, Atlanta has witnessed a new crime wave—bad enough that one affluent part of the city is considering secession. Yet in talking to residents across Atlanta, even those sympathetic to the defund movement now say it overreached. The way forward, many say, is not in getting rid of the police, but helping them do a better job. “‘Defund the police’ was a slogan that really backfired ... because across the country—not only in Atlanta—people living in those neighborhoods who aren’t necessarily activists don’t want the police gone, especially with crime spiking,” says Ron Bayor, a historian at the Georgia Institute of Technology. “What people do want is police reform.”

Tears, prayers mark end to search for Miami condo survivors (AP) A somber moment of silence marked the end of the two-week search for survivors of a Florida condominium collapse, as rescue workers stood at solemn attention and clergy members hugged a line of local officials while many of them sobbed. The painstaking search for survivors shifted to a recovery effort at midnight Wednesday after authorities said they had come to the agonizing conclusion that there was “no chance of life” in the rubble of the Champlain Towers South condo building in Surfside. “We have all asked God for a miracle, so the decision to transition from rescue to recovery is an extremely difficult one,” Miami-Dade Mayor Daniella Levine Cava said at a news conference. The death toll stood at 54 late Wednesday. Officials said 86 people were unaccounted for, although detectives were still working to verify that each of those listed as missing was actually in the building when it collapsed.

The office is back, but it might never be the same (Washington Post) Across the country, the leaders of corporate America have begun opening their doors again at companies such as Facebook, Goldman Sachs and Microsoft, bringing the country’s white-collar workforce back to the skyscrapers, office parks and campuses that were long assumed to be the only way to corral them. But a lot has changed in the past year and a half, and offices have, too. The Washington Post spoke with a wide range of workers and companies that have begun bringing people back into their offices. Most workers described a strange office environment bearing little resemblance to the one they left behind—a world of complicated social interactions, lingering anxieties about masks and vaccinations, and simmering frustrations about inflexible work policies. Companies spoke about the challenge of getting a workforce that has grown accustomed to working from home fired up again about office culture. Only about one-third of workers—32 percent—are back in large office buildings, according to data from building security company Kastle Systems, although the numbers have been increasing in recent weeks.

World Food Programme starts distributing food in crisis-hit Venezuela (Reuters) The U.N. World Food Programme (WFP) said on Wednesday it had begun distributing school meals to children in Venezuela, where some 7 million people require humanitarian assistance after years of economic collapse in the once-prosperous OPEC nation. The WFP’s first take-home rations were distributed for children under 6 years old at some 277 schools and preschools, as well as school staff, in 25 municipalities in northwestern Falcon state, WFP said in a statement. Since Venezuela’s schools are closed due to the coronavirus pandemic, parents or teachers picked up the monthly rations—which consist of 6 kg (13 pounds) of rice, 4 kg (9 pounds) of lentils, 454 grams (1 pound) of salt and one liter (2 pints) of vegetable oil—on their behalf, according to Susana Rico, the WFP’s Venezuela representative.

Japan PM Suga declares state of COVID-19 emergency in Tokyo (Reuters/Washington Post) Japanese Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga formally declared on Thursday a state of emergency in Tokyo, putting restrictions aimed at curbing coronavirus infections in place through August 22. Japan will bar spectators from all Olympic events held in and around Tokyo, organizers announced, as the state of emergency will cover the capital during the Games. Olympic organizers, working closely with the government, had announced two weeks ago that they would allow some domestic spectators to attend events. They capped attendance at 10,000, or 50 percent of a venue’s capacity, but warned at the time that they might change course if infections rose again.

Millions of Syrian civilians at grave risk if U.S., Russia fail to strike deal on U.N. aid deliveries (Washington Post) Parts of northern Syria will quickly face a massive and deadly humanitarian crisis if the U.N. Security Council fails this week to extend a resolution allowing the United Nations to deliver aid across the Turkish-Syrian border, according to relief workers, Syrian civilians and the Biden administration. The resolution, which allows the United Nations to coordinate aid shipments to Syria through only one border crossing, is set to expire Saturday. Millions of Syrians dependent on the U.N.-led relief effort would immediately be put at risk if it lapses, aid workers say. Russia has promised for nearly a year to veto any resolution allowing cross-border aid to continue, viewing its distribution to areas held by opponents of President Bashar al-Assad, an ally of Moscow, as a violation of Syria’s sovereignty. The Biden administration favors expanding cross-border aid to Syria, and the debate over the resolution has emerged as a high-profile test of whether the United States and Russia, at a moment of escalating tensions, can identify issues on which to forge common ground.

Gaza reconstruction (Foreign Policy) The longer-term effects of the Israeli bombardment of Gaza in May were made clearer in a joint report from the European Union, United Nations, and World Bank released on Wednesday. The report estimated overall damages of between $290-$380 million while economic losses totaled between $105-$190 million—roughly 6 percent of Gaza’s GDP. The authors estimated that Gaza’s unemployment rate would reach 50 percent in 2021—its highest since the early 1990s—and that its economy would shrink by 0.3 percent.

Fiery explosion erupts on ship at major global port in Dubai (AP) A fiery explosion erupted on a container ship anchored in Dubai at one of the world’s largest ports late Wednesday, authorities said, sending tremors across the commercial hub of the United Arab Emirates. The blaze sent up giant orange flames from a vessel at the Jebel Ali Port, the busiest in the Middle East. Jebel Ali sits on the eastern side of the Arabian Peninsula and is also the busiest port of call for American warships outside the U.S. The combustion unleashed a shock wave through the city of Dubai, causing walls and windows to shake in neighborhoods as far as 25 kilometers (15 miles) away from the port. Residents filmed from their high-rises as a fiery ball illuminated the night sky. The blast was powerful enough to be seen from space by satellite. The extent of damage to the sprawling port and surrounding cargo was not immediately clear. Footage shared on social media of the aftermath showed charred containers, ashes and littered debris. Dubai authorities told the Saudi-owned Al-Arabiya TV that the crew had evacuated in time and that the fire appeared to have started in one of the containers holding flammable material, without elaborating. The Jebel Ali Port at the northern end of Dubai is the largest man-made deep-water harbor in the world and serves cargo from the Indian subcontinent, Africa and Asia. The port is not only a critical global cargo hub, but a lifeline for Dubai and surrounding emirates.

#headlines #news

0 notes

rxbelling-hxrald · 7 years

Note

(@ray-cherry-blossoms) 1,4,5,6,7,8, 13,18,19,21,22,23,25 (such a long list omg sorry but I'm jus too curious )

Describe Your OC

Warning! Very long post! so under read more to avoid filling up the majority of your dashboards xD. This took so long to do but I’m pretty happy with all of this, so I welcome all to read it.

1: their voice

My current voice claim to Dan’s voice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0OKZS5cBMU (Talion from ME: Shadow of ‘Series’ voiced by Troy Baker)

Despite being of demon origin, his more humane side must be evident at all times, an oddly somewhat gruff but gentle shade evident that can turn cold and serious within an instant. Its not much of a singing voice.

But while his voice is rather firm, it holds a clear vulnerability that displays when he is clueless or is filled with sorrow/concern.

I believe Talion’s voice/mannerisms are a good representative of how Dan speaks, minus the Middle Earth terms.

4: their insecurities

In general Dan is an insecure wreck, he’s just a decent act at covering his true thoughts up for the most part, though even they can be seen with minor mannerisms that will be displayed,

With people, he always feels like everyone is judging him for better or worse, even the strangers he passes by in the street with no interaction given in the slightest, this is in fact why crowds make him quite paranoid over extended time amongst them. It makes Dan feel worse that due to his specific lack of interaction during his younger years it makes him crave it yet wish to avoid people and lessen the risks of doing something to upset them, by completely minimizing the chance to 0 by no interactions at all.

In other respects, Dan’s inward confidence is quite lacking, always doubting himself, why he even exists and is there any true point to his resistance? to any whom asked or saw him in action, most may think he’s a cocky shit, but to Dan, the few victories he gains is nothing when a war against countless odds is always his opposition…..why bother fighting when he has nothing else? Dan would say its his will or his strength that keeps him going, but the truth is he’s scared, relying solely on his survival instincts.

These worries and insecurities ease up greatly when he’s with a friend or someone he trusts, but this in turn leads to a brand new one surfacing in the back of his mind. Dan doesnt wish to be an annoyance to his new found friend and risk ruining it, enjoying the experience and wishing to stick with them for as long as possible, If given the chance Dan may never actually leave someone’s side, but both wishing to respect their space and his own paranoia, Dan deliberately feels its best to avoid his friends until its a given they want to see him. his heart says stay but his mind says go due to the risks he may bring upon them should he stay with one for too long.

5: their shortcomings

An obvious one though is improving with time is his mindset, or in more general terms. ‘Common Sense’. Dan usually goes by simply what he deems right or what is needed, it doesnt matter what others think or if there is a rule/law against it, if he thinks it, that’s what is happening. This can lead to a variety of outcomes be they either hilarious or dangerous.

On a similar note is his general awareness, this can be related to the likes of the immediate area around him, a world’s history, people’s names or actions, even basic tasks. Unless he’s had experience in a regard before. Dan’s most likely going to be terrible or clueless on the subject at hand. Due to the majority of his life being only revolving around fighting and on the run…it can count towards a vast majority of topics.

These things are also what causes his great deal of passive actions when accompanying others, normally doing nothing of his own accord unless instructed or advised unless its a dangerous situation, preferring otherwise to stay back and wait to see what others want him to do to avoid risks to their more likely ‘logical’ plans.

6: how they deal with grief

Initially, he does nothing, letting it build up in his mental psyche more and more.

As time passes he’ll come back to it when doing nothing and brood over all the negative thoughts, usually getting himself in a rotten mood or even more paranoid about something.

But depending on the degree of the problems, Dan’s method to dealing with grief or any sort of mental downfall is to let it out via his aggression, he’ll find something to let out all his rage and sorrow, destroying an object or objects utterly in the process on most occasions.

This stands too for someone who may try to fight him in this state, he’d likely spend hours beating them senseless to the extent they’d need to be hospitalized…..or worse.

Luckily, He’ll do this in his free time and far away from population heavy areas.

7: how they like to dress

While having no true fashion sense due to lack of any kind of ‘clothing’ back in the demon realm. Dan is pretty open towards all clothing designs and shapes.

If Dan had a variety of clothes at his disposal he’d be the sort to wear the first thing he saw in his wardrobe, regardless if the colors matched or not with the rest of what he had on.

However as some may have noticed he has particular love towards his black overcoat and has adopted a ‘gothic’ mindset towards clothes, usually featuring all black as he feels its just cool and goes well with his need to stay out of sight, though this only really plays a good part at night, in day he’ll stand out pretty openly unless hidden somewhere.

In terms of styles, Dan also has an appreciation towards fancier/refined outfits, such as tuxedos or an officer’s uniform. most likely because its the complete opposite as to what he is in Dan’s eyes, a nobody. That and they look ‘Cool’

8: what they like to eat

There is no true answer to this question as Dan will and has eaten just about anything put in front of him and found it edible in comparison to the filth he had in the demon realm.

But in his time visiting and exploring other realms, Dan has been proven to have a sweet tooth, loving almost any kind of assortment and sweets. if it has sugar, he’ll love it. He’s also big on meat, having a clear favoritism towards Beef, Chicken, Lamb.

He’s not overly picky though so he’ll eat practically everything and anything put in front of him.

13: their embarrassing memory from years ago

During his younger years he doesn’t really have an ‘embarrassing’ memory per se, since most of his life back then wasnt even ‘his’ life, being strictly made to follow training and survival as if he were possessed. He saw and remembers it all but it wasnt his own control until he was a teen, by then he knew nothing but the dark life in front of him.

18: how they sleep

Regardless of his form he always sleeps in the same respect.

He’ll curl up to himself as close as he can, usually his hands and knees tightly closed together, wrap whatever he has available around himself, be it a cover, his coat and etc, only his head will be sticking out of it in which he’ll eventually fall asleep.

During his sleep his position changes depending on how well or badly his dreams/nightmares go. If he’s getting a good rest his body will slowly loosen up and resemble to him laying on his back with his arms and legs outstretched, usually his feet sticking out from the covers since they’ll still be pulled so close.

But if its bad, he’ll toss and turn, constantly mumble to himself and tighten himself up further, usually resulting in him getting sore joints and muscles. The worse case scenario is he’ll wake up screaming or gasping for air, from there he wont bother sleeping anymore and will stay awake until his body practically forces him to sleep.

19: their reaction to betrayal

This depends on the level of betrayal and the reasoning, there is no clear cut answer so here is the best and worst case scenarios.

Best? He’ll remember it, while he will forgive, he’ll never quite trust again and will openly curse the betrayer’s name both to them and to others, it would take a long time to repair the damage.

Worst? He’ll label them as nothing more than a future target, spending his free time trying to hunt the betrayer down and chase them via whatever means possible, potentially with those whom also share a hatred or have reasons to be rid of that person. Should he catch them….they’ll be beaten to a bloody pulp, he wouldn’t kill them, but he’d openly state that once they recovered, he’d do it again so they suffered more.

21: how they react to pain

One of two ways, usually depending on the level and cause of it.

One, he’ll gasp in shock from the pain, try to do something to deal with it, fail, ignore or shrug it off and then continue with what he was doing.

Two, Immediately give into anger and start lashing out at whatever he can find that he could use to relieve himself, he’d never target a person unless they were generally bad or the person that caused the pain in the first place.

22: what they’re like on two hours of sleep

Dan would still be very alert and active with such a small amount of sleep, his time of being paranoid and keeping watch from potential dangers around him back in the demon realm made him adopt this natural trait of being resistant to lack of sleep and make the most of minimal amounts of it.

The main difference would come when he eventually did fall asleep again, most likely no one would be able to wake him up regardless of methods if he was truly exhausted. A truly deep sleep.

23: how they act when they’re sick

Very moody and irritable, he’ll frequently shoo away everyone that approaches him, even those he knows well, occasionally even brief temperament problems as he’ll suddenly hit something near him as if to try and relieve his stress.

However his own arrogance would make him believe he could deal with whatever sickness he had and go about his business as usual, so even if he had a serious illness, you’d need to literally lock him up somewhere, otherwise he’d just keep wandering out.

Dan recovers from sickness quickly, but not because he’s resistant to it, his body accelerates the ‘cleansing/healing’ process.This usually means that even the common cold will feel 10x worse to Dan than to someone else as he goes through all the worst symptoms and effects all at once. Imagine the more severe or even dangerous illnesses, Dan would pass through their effects within hours.

He has a reason for being very moody while sick, now you know.

25: why you enjoy them

This is actually very hard for me to answer, i have a few reasons while also trying to avoid the generic ‘well he’s my OC’ answer.

I truly enjoy a simple concept, the main concept of what Dan is, a concept that I’m is done better with many other characters and OCs, be it by their depths, the values/descriptions held by their muns.

Dan is a stranger, a stranger in another world, another plain of thought and understanding. logic, morals, everything you can possibly conceive…Dan’s a foreigner to it. Its like how we look at cultures and mindsets in the world today, Dan to me is kinda a representative to the idea of it happening in other settings.

At first you think, oh, so its just about seeing perspectives? or what if scenarios? kinda yes and no at the same time, because there’s one final thing to note I love about Dan.

He’s utterly stupid!

I like to imagine Dan is a child in an adult’s body. he’s trying to look strong, he’s trying to look like he knows what he’s doing, to others that see him, they may look at him as someone not to mess with, or someone that knows his goal. But the truth of it is they couldn’t be more wrong!

Dan doesnt know what he wants, he thinks he does, but he doesnt! he doesnt understand the concepts of living! Again, he thinks he does, he looks at himself as some poor soul who needs to stop a terrible evil from happening and that is all that matters. The thought of other possibilities just don’t come across his limited concepts.

But as he interacts, as he meets people, he explores their worlds, sees what there is, understands their thoughts, their lives….he slowly gets closer to understanding, that life is ever changing and there is more to it than just what he thinks there is.

And when he has these little revolutions in his thoughts, no matter how slight, no matter how common they may actually be to everyone else. I cant help but smile that as he develops himself, I’m developing with him as a writer, allowing me to be even more free with what I do with him.

Throw in the whole ordeal of him being this supposedly really powerful being that has little understanding of his own capabilities, his limited mindset, it creates a fascinating dynamic or at least to me, that the world he’s in will form what he will become in the long run…..

Its why every interaction Dan has with someone else, feels all so important to me, I’m not the best with descriptions, I’m not the best at conveying things or even using much variety in my wordplay. But those he meets with are all critical pillar stones in his development, no matter how minor or major our interactions are. Dan will remember, he will adapt and when the time comes…..what your muse did with him or against him…it’ll effect what he does in the end of things.

#OOC #Ask Memes #Dan's information

2 notes · View notes

cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

today mom woke me up before 6 by talking loudly to my brother. then eve and wiley woke me up with an argument before 7. then mom woke me up a full 45 minutes (8:45) before she had said i was supposed to get up (9:30) to ask if i was ready yet or not.

i was pretty pissed. but i showered and went to work. despite the, maybe, 7 hours of sleep.

the guy i was working for, the boss’ son, chad, was super... irritating. he had me using a broken ass web site to write descriptions that conveniently omitted any mention of damage or wear on the items he was trying to sell. despite the fact that the web site gives a clear criteria you’re supposed to mark for any sign of wear.

i mean, the worst that’s gonna happen for the customer is they see the jewelry is damaged and send it back to chad and probably don’t buy anything else from him. it’s a waste of his time and money, not anyone else’s. so i didn’t argue.

most of my day consisted of waiting for the web site to load literally every time i tried to do anything. i did end up having to stop and take deep breaths before i lost my patience.

after i finished the work (he had like 12 items for me to list and besides the waiting it took maybe 5 minutes to write everything needed to list the item) mom suggested i go down into the mall and check out the nintendo switch at the gamestop. mom’s office sits on top of scottsdale fashion square. the one the celebrities go to. i’ve never seen anyone famous there, but i don’t spend really any time there at all. i don’t like being in the mall by myself, but i would never go with mom.

i saw that the gamestop was pretty crowded to i stepped into the pet store on the other side of the walkway. there was a single blind great dane puppy hanging out behind the glass. i saw he was from a breeder and cost like 500 dollars and i got kinda mad. not at the store, really, but at the fact that there are breeders who sell puppies with, like, common and maybe severe genetic defects. purebred dogs are generally not healthy. and they don’t have any control over that and don’t understand what’s happening, and that’s just cruel.

so i walked farther into the store to see if there were any other animals and if it was still visiting hours since it was like 3. turns out that was the last dog in the store and the four cats had come from a rescue organization. one of the cats had had kittens, and all of them got adopted. the cats were being taken somewhere for the evening i guess. maybe back to the shelter. i listened to the employee talk very proudly about what breeds the cats were, and how their lives were going. she asked if i wanted one and i said definitely but my mom doesn’t like cats so we don’t have one. she said she understood.

i poked around a little longer and found some stuff i can put in the dogs’ water that will help with dental hygiene and also apparently ease joint pain and is also odorless. since diogi has pretty bad arthritis and also has poop breath i bought a bottle. i asked the cashier a bunch of questions about it and she gave me a discount when i finally picked something out.

i know there are ethical concerns when it comes to, like, choosing which offspring to have due to genetic preferences. but why bring someone into the world if they’re going to be sick their whole life? wouldn’t you want to give your kids the best possible chance to have a life they like? hampering their progress right out of the gate doesn’t seem... i dunno, i can see why some people would choose to have a kid based on what kind of condition they would be in at birth. but i’m not a good person to ask about that, because i am miserable and have trouble imagining how people can be happy and fulfilled in the first place.

and i know looking at your kid’s genes and deciding whether or not to have that kid can lead to some pretty nasty eugenics stuff. i’m not trying to say all deviation from some genetic “norm” is bad. god, it’s complicated and it’s easy for that control to get out of hand. there ain’t no good answer.

just because i often wish i hadn’t been born doesn’t mean other people should also feel that way.

i got sidetracked. what happened next is that i snuck into the gamestop and hid behind a rack of amiibo paraphernalia. i ended up behind one of the cashiers and when he saw me he motioned me over. so i asked some stuff about the switch, like if it had backwards compatibility or if your purchases from the eshop carried over. i was so nervous i came off like an idiot fake gamer girl. even though those don’t exist? i don’t know if he thought they did or not though, and he gave me a kind of dubious look when i couldn’t immediately recall the gamer lingo i last used maybe six years ago. and i didn’t know some pretty basic facts about the switch, like the fact that it uses cartridges instead of disks. and he compared a new game to f-zero and i said i hadn’t played that one yet, but was looking for it at bookmans. that got me sniffed at by three different dudes at the counter!

he asked if i wanted to know anything else and i totally blanked so i stammered through telling him i’d come back if i could think of any more questions and awkwardly walked over to the switch display boxes.

maybe it would be good to get one for christmas, when there are more games out for it and i can see if i would like more than two of them.

anyway after that i piddled around miserably with putting together some battle box teams on my pokemon game. then mom and i went to dinner with my sister. i ate half my meal before i started feeling kinda sick again, but my sister got a dessert so i had some of that too.

when i got home i refilled the dogs’ water and hung out with eve and the doog. when eve started having what seemed to be a violent dream i called her to wake her up and then immediately felt bad for waking her up. she didn’t seem to mind. she just laid there with her eyes open for a little bit before going back to sleep. when i checked on her again later she wagged her tail and it was really cute.

wiley, of course, wanted to go for a walk, but it was already past 7 when we got home. i will try to get up before 10 tomorrow so i can take him out in the morning instead of after dinner when everyone else is out and about and also the rabbits are everywhere.

oh yeah, on the way to work mom asked if i had done a bunch of other stuff i haven’t gotten around to yet. like, after i had told her what i managed to get done yesterday. i felt kinda put out, like even though i put in all that effort, or at least, felt like i’d put in a lot of effort, it didn’t matter because some other thing didn’t also get done.

and the therapy place is booked through april so i’ll have to call my other option tomorrow. and take care of graduation stuff like getting my diploma mailed home, and find out what’s going on with my tuition.

and that’s what i did today!!! i also realized that the way i’d built one of my pokemon i didn’t actually need to get it to level 100 to change its ivs, because its ivs were fine. so that felt like a waste of time. at least it was just one of them out of the ~40. when i finish getting all of these guys leveled up i’ll have to look through their stats and prioritize. i do like having a project, even a really nerdy one like pokemon.

the competition in april is going to be doubles battles. i’ve found that i really prefer the speed micromanaging and overall faster pace of doubles battles to singles, especially when there are four players involved. since it’s a doubles battle i will feel more comfortable doing some setup. i’m going to see how a trick room team will do.

in competitions, for singles battles you can only choose three pokemon, so it’s kind of not worth it to spend time setting up a gimmick. you don’t have as many options to work with if your opponent can counter your first guy. but in doubles, you pick four pokemon, and you send out two guys at once, which means you can attack and set up on the same turn and don’t have to waste valuable turns switching your pokemon. setup stuff like weather and trick room only lasts a set amount of turns, so if you have to spend a turn switching your pokemon, that leaves that much less time that you can operate effectively in.

in retrospect, that explanation wasn’t really for anyone’s benefit. i already know what i’m talking about, people who read this and know pokemon won’t need the explanation, and people who read this and don’t know pokemon will probably still have a hard time following. but i’d feel bad if i didn’t at least try to explain the jargon.

basically i like doubles battles more because i am much better at them.

that took ten minutes, and now it is after 1. so i’m going to get ready for bed and maybe continue rambling tomorrow if i find i have something more to say. take care of yourselves.

3 notes · View notes

armyhealth9-blog · 5 years

Text

Episode 405 - Robb and Nicki Q&A #9

We're back with Q&A #9 with Robb and Nicki.

Remember to submit your own questions for Robb and Nicki to answer on a future show here: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Show Notes:

1. [2:06] Kidney Stones

Krisztian says: I've been mostly Paleo for about 5 years now based on one of your piror books. Overall, it has worked well for me, with one exception. I started to develop kidney stones on a regular basis. I finally had them analyzed and they turned out to be calcium oxalate stones. Upon reading up on this condition, it stems from a high amount of oxalate in the diet. Unfortunatley, most of the foods I liked on Paleo happen to be super high in oxalate... spinach, nuts, seeds, dark chocolate, sweet potatoes. The other wammy here is that I was initially avoiding dairy on Paleo which turns out to be worse for stones because one way to counteract high oxalate intake is to match it with high calcium to avoid stone formation. I've since gone back to eating plenty of cheese and high fat dairy in my diet.

I'm curious if this is a common issue that you've seen and I'm wondering if this is something that might be helped by going to a keto diet.

2. [5:33] Sugar addiction Kathryn says: Hey Robb, I am really hoping you can give me some insight into why I can't seem to fully recover from sugar addiction. I have had a sweet tooth my whole life, but in recent years I have learned that I have a true addiction to sugar. In the last four years or so, I have studied a lot of nutrition, functional medicine and ancestral health perspectives and gone on a strict paleo diet for months at a time. In almost every way, a clean diet of whole foods makes me feel amazing (better sleep, clearer skin, joints and movement feels better, etc.), except, I become very depressed. It's not a mopey, weepy kind of depressed, it's literally a depression of all feeling, like I feel very little at all. But I do sometimes feel really, really irritable, or sometimes bouts of rage that don’t match the situations they arise in. But most of the time, I just feel blah. I thought this would go away after a couple of weeks or even a month or two of eating clean, but it didn't. In happy or exciting moments, it was like I just couldn't feel those emotions fully. I also noticed that I didn't crack jokes like I usually do or feel like being social. All my feelings were dulled. Even sad ones. And when I did fall off the diet, and eat sugar, I immediately felt cheerful again. To me, it seems that the years of sugar abuse have altered my brain enough that without sugar, I can't feel normal emotions anymore. So my question is concerning healing my brain. Is it possible to reverse these effects? The longest I have gone on a strict paleo diet is three months. I admit it was hard to keep going when I just didn't see myself ever feeling happy again. If it's possible to heal my brain and increase its capacity for proper dopamine signaling again, are there certain therapies or supplements that can precipitate and accelerate that healing? Perhaps I am ignorant of some other factor or mechanism at work here. I would be grateful for any insight or help you can give. Thanks for the incredible work you do to bring to light the truth about human health and nutrition.

Notes:

Carb 22: https://carbsyndrome.com/nutraceuticals-new/

STEM Talk Episode 69 (David LeMay): https://www.ihmc.us/stemtalk/episode-69/

3. [11:32] Metabolic Flexibility and Weight Loss/Maintenance Julia says: Robb and Nicki, I am very interested in the concept of metabolic flexibility and eagerly waiting to hear your upcoming lecture on this topic. Intuitively it makes sense that given variation in season and climate that humans would have relied on a menu of macronutrient combinations. My question is: how can developing metabolic flexibility be used as tool for weight loss/maintenance? I have been about 90% ketogenic for the past 28 months; the other 10% would be high carb meals which I have allowed as a metabolically flexible person. I can swing in and out of ketosis with ease; however, I have noticed that if I go through periods of higher carb, it does result in weight gain which is tough to lose even when reentering ketosis. I do crossfit almost daily and practice the 18:6 IF schedule, and I don't notice either of those things affecting my performance. Thanks!

4. [16:31] Low afternoon energy

Laura says: Hi Robb and Nicki, Thank you both for all you do! I've been a huge fan since 2010 and admire your relentless pursuit of the truth when it comes to health and nutrition.

My question is about my extremely low energy in the early afternoons. I know it is a common complaint, but I feel like I've done everything I can to fix the common mistakes that lead to the afternoon slump, and I also feel like my exhaustion is too extreme to be normal for my age and health status.

I'm 32 years old, I eat low carbish (75-100g most days), have toyed with keto, eat mostly paleo with the addition of some dairy and occasional non gluten grains. I do crossfit 3x/week and spend most of my time chasing my 2 year old around. My sleep is good most of the time, and I do not have any major life stressors that effect me currently. No diagnosed health conditions, no rx meds.

I had bloodwork done recently, and my doctor was very impressed with the results, especially my blood lipids. A1c was 4.8, C-reactive protein 0.8, no thyroid antibodies present. Fasting blood sugar 78. The only things that were slightly out of range were homocysteine (slightly low at 4.6), Uric acid low at 2.4, serum iron slightly high at 148, and my free T3 was a little low at 2.5. Another Doctor years ago prescribed me naturethroid but I never took it.

Ive tried changing my diet in every way imaginable to try to combat a possible hypoglycemic or food sensitivity related slump after lunch. I've eliminated various foods that people can be sensitive to,and ive even tried more carbs in the morning, but that leads to blood sugar imbalance and cravings all day. As a result, my breakfasts and lunches would fall under the keto umbrella, as I feel better when I eat carbs later in the day.

The only thing that seems to slightly help is not eating at all, but I just get so hungry! My activity level is fairly high and I don't feel like I'm a great candidate for intermittent fasting at this point.

My mom, who has had MS for about 30 years, does not eat all day and only eats dinner because she's says eating makes her tired. I just can't handle not eating at all, and I do feel fatigued and hypoglycemic if I try to skip meals.

Thanks for reading and for all you do!!

5. [23:08] Carb test and ketosis

Carl says: Hey Robb,

I read Wired to Eat while I was pretty deep into a ketotic cycle, so I didn't immediately get to the 7-day carb test. Years of self-experimentation have led me to a relatively low carb (<50g/day) Paleo diet with an occasional 48 hour fast, an occasional ketotic cycle, and a very occasional carb re-feed. Genetic testing revealed some SNPs that predispose me to insulin resistance, and others that positively affect my fat metabolism, reinforcing the fact that I look, feel, and perform better eating in this fashion. I do enjoy my occasional carb binges, so I'd like to perform the carb test in order to whittle my food selections down to those least damaging to my metabolism; but I'm concerned that my postprandial blood glucose readings will be skewed upward because I don't regularly eat more than ten or fifteen grams of effective carbs at a time. Should I bring my daily and per-meal carb intake up for a certain period of time before starting the carb test, or is a 50 gram bolus of carbs small enough to give me a true measure of glucose tolerance for the purpose of food selection? Thanks in advance.

6. [27:30] Creativity and Writing Process

Peter says: Robb,

I hope all is well. I'm a big fan of the Podcast and excited about the Q & A return. I have a two-parter both within the same general idea.

FIRSTLY: I'm a writer and I am alway curious about how others approach the creative process. I was curious if you could elaborate on how you approach writing and creativity in regards to balancing an active lifestyle? And how a typical day when writing might look.

For example -- Do you do things like meditate? What time of the day do you write? Where do you write? If you write in the morning how do you reconcile with hanging outside first thing in the morning to get some sun? If you do Jujutsu around noon and roll for 2 hours how do you write around it? You've mentioned eating big meals in the morning, if you're in a heavy writing period, is this a habit you stick with? Oh by the way, you have a wife and kids... how do you balance it all?

Do you still do caffeine? Do you force yourself to take breaks during writing? How do you avoid sitting for 5/6 hours straight?

Sorry for all the questions, I've just been thinking about this a lot lately as I enter into a career pursuing my passion as a writer while trying to balance and prioritize my health. As I am sure you can attest, writing can be all consuming if you let it and setting boundaries is vital -- though difficult, especially if you're in "the zone." So I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[33:18] SECONDLY: I'd love to get your thoughts on the mechanisms at play when writing or doing anything else that requires intense mental focus in regards to willpower. Correct me if I am wrong, but it feels like for me, many aspects of writing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle (choosing healthy food over shitty stuff, hitting the gym, walking, etc.) can drain from the same willpower tank (if not just psychologically, and physically -- physiologically as well). This isn't to say that both can't exist -- rather does one need to be given priority based on ordering of events throughout the day?

For example, I feel my creativity comes to me first thing in the morning. If I were to wake up and hit a Metcon first thing, I feel my creativity gets depleted from the shared willpower tank. I feel this to be true with little things that chip away at my early morning start time as well. For example, taking the time to make a big healthy breakfast, sitting in the sun, even a short walk, all delay me tapping into when I feel I am creatively primed -- but is it worth the sacrifice of my health?

I was curious if you have any thoughts on when or how you prioritize creativity. Or maybe this is all just a bunch of bullshit like Robert Rodriguez says -- and our creativity is totally out of our control.

Anyways, love the show and everything you do. If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.

Regards, Peter

Source: http://robbwolf.libsyn.com/episode-405-robb-and-nicki-qa-9

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

0 notes

entirebodyexercise · 6 years

Text

Five practical fitness tips from the stars of Cirque du Soleil

Strong is sexy. And as I age, I locate myself much less inspired by vanity, and much more concentrated on exactly how well my body performs.

Many write-ups and fitness items attract altering the means you look, yet when you're encouraged by making a body that's even more fit as well as even more sports, it could lead to accomplishing vanity goals you never ever believed possible.

If you have actually ever before seen Circle du Soleil perform, you'll recognize just what I indicate. These performers have amazing bodies, but their training regimens have to do with wowing audiences with tasks of strength, stamina, agility and also style. Looking excellent is merely a side benefit.

Recently, I took my family members to see their efficiency of Amaluna in Calgary. It was my fourth time seeing the troupe, and later I went backstage to talk to 2 of the performers concerning just how they train to keep healthy, high-performance, injury free as well as looking good.

Here are 5 Cirque-inspired training tips you could use in your workouts:

1. Cross train " Considering that coming here I've understood cross-training is essential," says Amy McClendon ( above), the program's main dancer. After years on Broadway, Circle brought her to a brand-new physical level: "There is a great deal of physical effort. I go to the gym as well as do the elliptical machine over resistance to maintain my legs solid."

Melanie Sinclair (below), that does the program's uneven bars efficiency says, "I exercise several days a week outside of the performances. Consisting of the eight to 10 shows a week, it has to do with 30 hrs of training each week." Her cardio of option is 30 minutes of working on the treadmill or on the elliptical exerciser each day. She also brings a bicycle on excursion as well as bikes right into job each day. In addition to cardio as well as strength-training, they all do a bunch of stretching to remain versatile as well.

2. Focus on core stability " I such as to do core work because many of my act is top body so I desire to balance that out for my very own advantage," discusses Sinclair.

The whole dance team does a great deal of Pilates as it's a terrific means to build core strength swiftly. It ought to be not a surprise that Joseph Pilates was active in the New York ballet community helping expand professional dancers' careers.

Pilates teacher Lisa Johnson clarifies that, " With flexibility comes lack of stability. Pilates is truly good at giving stability to joints so they're much less prone to injury."

3. Have fun To push yourself literally often, it is essential to love what you do. And having enjoyable becomes part of what encourages these performers.

" It's performing and it's something I enjoy doing," McClendon states. "There is an inspiration that will certainly never ever vanish also when you're tired. There is constantly something to look forward to."

4. Take care of yourself You only have one body and also there's expanding issue over new workouts that press people as well hard and could cause devastating injuries with irreversible damage. Yet Cirque du Soleil performers recognize all about how to push their bodies the clever means without obtaining hurt.

" There are constantly overuse injuries that come from doing the same thing on a daily basis," claims Chad Fraser, who does performance medicine for the group. "Yet the artists are rather excellent concerning taking treatment of themselves."

" You require to be smart," says Sinclair, " Right here the goal is to make certain you last."

McClendon describes that each entertainer obtains massage treatment once a week which self-massage, with rounds as well as rollers, is urged to maintain healthy and balanced muscles.

5. Food is fuel No issue how a lot you exercise, it's still feasible to put on weight if you consume too much.

" I was consuming as well much sugar prior to," McClendon admits, "I needed to include more healthy protein into my morning meals so I wouldn't burn out. There was a nutritionist back in Montreal who told me I needed more red meat. I needed the iron due to the physical demands on my body and I observed an immediate difference."

" It's very requiring work," Sinclair includes, "so I get a great deal of freedom in the amount I eat. Obtaining enough calories in is extremely important."

You likely don't place near the demands on your body that these festival entertainers do, however your body is the just one you'll ever have. Interpreting these suggestions from high performance professional athletes for your very own usage can help you maintain your body a well-oiled device for several years to come.

James S. Fell writers the syndicated column "In-Your-Face Fitness" for the Chicago Tribune and meetings stars concerning their health and fitness routines for the Los Angeles Times. Obtain your WEIGHT Loss Report from James.

#exercise #fitness #gym #health #health and fitness #weight #work out

0 notes

thyroxy · 7 years

Text

Thyroxy Part 1 – The original Thyroxy – Diagnosis

Where to start? From the beginning? Thereabouts..

I was about 14 when I went for a jog with my mum and started hyperventilating. Mum, in her hard parenting style told me to walk home as she kept running. I sat for a couple of minutes and somewhat recovered. Determined, I trailed after her, pulling myself along, walking and jogging through the suburb, desperate to catch up. I wasn’t a fatty, not even slightly chubby. I was actually so skinny that it I put my forearms together I couldn’t make the skin touch. People would say I had hollow legs with the amount I ate and the weight that never came with it. I didn’t look unhealthy.. at least I don’t think I did. I just looked like a regular 14 year old girl. I thought I behaved like one too.. I was a moody teenager (but far more tolerable than my younger sister, my parents later realised), I had tantrums and loads of energy that would burn out as soon as I actually used it. So when I got back from this run/walk mum was concerned regardless of my efforts and took me to a doctor. The local GP diagnosed me with asthma and I was put on a puffer for a year or so.

My brother had asthma and our symptoms were quite different. Mum wasn’t convinced that it really was the issue when endurance in exercise didn’t improve (thank god!) so eventually we found a good pediatrician. The pediatrician could immediately see that I had a large goiter (thyroid) and bulging eyes indicative of a thyroid condition, Graves disease. Finally we had answers, I wasn’t ‘just a teenager’. I was placed on ‘carbemazole’ to subdue the thyroid activity.

Graves disease or hyperthyroidism is an overactive thyroid and occurs if the thyroid gland produces too much thyroid hormone, causing every function in the body to speed up. Symptoms include:

Weight Loss/Increased Appetite

Loose Bowel Motions/Diarrhoea

Increased Sweating

Difficulty sleeping

Heart Palpitations

Hand Tremor

Tiredness/Weak Muscles, particularly around the upper arms and thighs

Enlarged thyroid gland

Menstrual Changes/Fertility Problems

Restlessness/Nervousness

Emotional/Irritability

Shortness of Breath

Protruding or Staring Eyes

My pediatrician also recommended we also test for Coeliac disease as the two generally come hand in hand. A coeliac blood test was indicative on Coeliac disease.

Coeliac disease occurs when the immune system reacts abnormally to gluten (a protein found in wheat, rye, barley and oats), causing small bowel damage. The tiny, finger-like projections which line the bowel (villi) become inflamed and flattened. This is referred to as villous atrophy. Villous atrophy reduces the surface area of the bowel available for nutrient absorption, which can lead to various gastrointestinal and malabsorptive symptoms. Symptoms can also be caused by inflammation in other parts of the body. Symptoms include:

gastrointestinal symptoms e.g. diarrhoea, constipation, nausea, vomiting, flatulence, cramping, bloating, abdominal pain, steatorrhea

fatigue, weakness and lethargy

iron deficiency anaemia and/or other vitamin and mineral deficiencies

failure to thrive or delayed puberty in children

weight loss (although some people may gain weight)

bone and joint pains

recurrent mouth ulcers and/or swelling of mouth or tongue

altered mental alertness and irritability

skin rashes such as dermatitis herpetiformis

easy bruising of the skin

A lot of these double up with symptoms on Graves but I like to believe we caught the coeliac early and I didnt experience these. In the end, they are both autoimmune conditions and therefore have similar roots and symptoms.

We were were just about to holiday to America when I was diagnosed so I promised to start a gluten free diet afterward. I ate everything there and savored it.. pretzels, mac and cheese, McDonald’s.. it was great. Post-America, in the world of the mid-late 2000’s I was gluten free before it was cool.. There was no gluten free bread at the supermarket, never mind croissants, pasta or pizza bases. The best I got was a gluten free wrap that tasted exactly like cardboard. So I naturally became a bit more paleo without even trying? Or I definitely turned to rice based alternatives. I’m kind of glad I was diagnosed in that era, the amount of gluten free crap there is now would have had made me nostalgic for gluten based products.. and a lot fatter than I became..

In saying that I wasn’t very strict with my diet. I excused my diet when it came to birthday cakes and the like. I didn’t have coeliac symptoms back then when I poisoned myself so I thought it wasn’t so bad.. damn Rox! My doctor was much more concerned than me. I had two biopsies (camera down the throat) to check on my small intestine and assess the damage. There was none and they were not indicative of coeliac disease. Or was it the other way around? I may have been presumed to have had coeliac disease but blood tests were inconclusive while biopsies indicated the diseases presence..

Anyway, thyroid levels were the main concern for a long time. Ultimately, Graves is supposed to be put into remission by taking the carbemazole dose down slowly, kind of ‘training’ the thyroid not to be a psycho. When we originally found my Graves I was in danger of ‘thyroid storm’ meaning my thyroid gland had generated so much thyroid hormone and it would dump all of the hormone into my system causing a range of symptoms like shaking, fever, brain fog and extreme moodiness. Getting on top of my thyroid levels took a long time with a few spikes here and there. We were pretty worried as I went into high school because naturally my parents wanted me to do well (and so did I of course). Even when my levels were a bit high I felt I couldn’t concentrate (it’s described as someone always knocking at your brain or ‘brain fog’), I’d get fatigued easily and I’d be downright moody! We (my parents, doctor and I) didn’t want a flare up over exams or study periods, so I think I was put on a higher dose to subdue the thyroid function as much as possible as a precaution, so I actually gained a bit of weight.

I did ok at high school, considering the type of study I did and how much information I could learn and retain with my poo brain.. Once that was over and I was working through my gap year I had time to assess myself. I remember thinking about how much I hated this weight I’d put on and maybe I was hardwired to be skinny. Maybe it was just the way I was supposed to be! Maybe I developed Graves and was predisposed to it because that’s just who I am. Why does everyone have to be ‘normalised’? What is ‘normal’? So I started taking less of my carbemazole against the order of my doctor, in hope to let my thyroid do its funky thing and make me thin again. It definitely did some funky things..

After year 12 my boyfriend at the time was living in Darwin while his family worked in Cambodia in the Australian Federal Police. I didn’t like his living arrangements with a family friend of theirs (it was a dirty house with a bogan mum and autistic kid) so I managed to persuade my parents to let him move in with us (still don’t know how I managed to do that). Anyway.. one day I decided to be a complete mess because I was feeling so angsty and frustrated about myself, work and life at that point in time. I drank a bunch of vodka and laid in the kitchenette listening to music really loud. I remember him coming in, I made an argument about something stupid and then proceeded to wail on the floor, crying my eyes out and literally taring my dress up. Yeah, real top quality thyroxy moment! Poor Tim, hanging out with a hyperactive thyroid everyday. His efforts to calm me down were useless and he just had to leave while I sat it out. So angsty teen attention seeking plus hyperthyroid was a recipe for disaster. But I was coming out of my teens by this point? Why weren’t my levels settling down when I backed off the dose? I was well and truly leaving puberty behind..?

#coeliac #gravesdisease #teenager #autoimmune #autoimmunity #not normal #thyroid #thyroid symptoms #thyroid disease #autoimmune disease

0 notes

baby-born · 7 years

Text

15 ways to cope with the irritation of their own children

When I decided to become a mother, you did not think that I could be a problem - annoying own children. I thought that motherhood - is sheer luck, perhaps partly due to the fact that for a long time could not get pregnant. And then - a miracle! At the first ultrasound the doctor said to me that I would be twins! Everyone I reported this news, told me the same thing: "lucky, you will have twice as much happiness!"

However, very soon it turned out that the children - it is not only happiness, but also a sleepless night, and diseases, and digestive problems, and the rejection of the breast, and other difficulties. Frankly, I have appeared to him absolutely not ready, although my cousin and I said sympathetically - ooo, twins, well, get ready for the first year, you do not want to shoot once or throw children out of the vents.

My situation was complicated by the fact that at that time we lived in a small district center and my husband worked in shifts method, and relatives lived in another city. So I provided for many weeks with the children one by one. I remember the first time I needed to go to the grocery store during a children's disease, I cried from helplessness due to the fact that I can not leave them unattended at home, and get along with them, too, can not. At the time, I was saved by a neighbor, which has agreed to buy a couple of packets of milk and bread for me. But I remember all my life, like sitting in a corridor and knew that stupid I can not leave the house because of the children.

Since that time, I began to accumulate irritation to them. I really had to sacrifice so many after their birth. The most painful was the loss of freedom. I could not now at any moment to go wherever I want. I could not invite guests could not take the time to yourself to go to the gym, in the sauna, to the beautician. There was no money for a nanny or babysitter since my salary was no longer. And because of that, I was also very angry: I blamed all restrictions not her husband, who could not have our family to provide the previous level of existence, namely, children, it's because of them I could not work. There was no place in kindergarten, so the four of us long for three years lived on one salary, and could not afford literally nothing but a fairly modest meal.

At some point I suddenly realized that I was starting to fall apart on children. It was terrible. I realized that I was losing control of himself. Any quarrel children led me literally in a frenzy, and their disease - in despair. Sometimes I thought that I locked them in the 4 walls, slowly losing my mind. Then I helped the case: at the playground, I complained to a friend of his fortune, she whistled and said that I urgently need a therapy. What she had the same situation, and the psychologist, to which it is addressed, literally saved their marriage with her husband and kept nomalno psyche of their children. Money for the therapy I did not. Then I started to find out what you can do to get rid of irritation to their children - while it just did not give me to live and breathe, I fell into a very real depression. So, I write what I then helped. Maybe someone of these methods will save my homegrown mental health and peace in the family.

1. Recognize your fatigue. At some point I realized that I must not be a super mom, I also need a break from my day and night "on duty." And start looking for a way out, a way to let off steam and relax from the clock responsibility. At that moment I said to myself, "I do not iron", it has become much easier: I understand that there is a problem and look for ways to solve it.

10 Kids Who Suffered Terrible Punishments From Parents

youtube

2. Find a way to completely relax from the children. It was harder than I thought. I was able to negotiate with his girlfriend, mother pogodok, on duty at a time - it is by the time she was in despair. We agree with her that it is once a week 4:00 to cope immediately with four children, and then it's my turn. You can not imagine what it means for me, these 4 hours per week !!! The idea that soon will be 4:00 to rest, warmed me all week and did not give break.

3. Attract husband. By all possible means I explained to him that if he did not take over at least part of the care of children at a time when he is at home, then soon he will remain without a wife and without children. Of course, he grumbled and said that children - women's concern, but I'm not retreating, and he had to meet me. Now, in addition to my legal 4 hours and I had one day off per week when all the care of the children took the man, and I had only consulted - a habit he was hard, but then he became involved and began to manage itself.

4. Rest wherever possible. I started to read and listen to music while walking with children. Of course, only read when they walked "the perimeter" of the playground. This helped me old player and bought a hand "on the occasion" a used PDA - remember, were at one time such "handhelds", forerunners of modern tablets?

5. "Do not touch my mother" mode. In the afternoon there was a time in which I just wanted to do chores, and children had to get used to it: my mom is busy, it can not be touched. It was necessary to resolve the cartoons, against which I was totally set up during pregnancy. I had to admit that it is better mentally healthy mother and children with cartoons, cartoons than children without the mother-hysterical. Thus, to me twice a day could cut out for 40-45 minutes, when I could dispose of his time completely. The hardest thing was - not to succumb to the temptation and not to put cartoons clock.

11 PRANKS FOR BACK TO SCHOOL! NataliesOutlet

youtube

6. Semi-finished products. Yes, I started to use semi-finished goods. On muttering husband said, I have no strength for a daily cooking inside and out, and if someone wants a new dish every day, then he prepares himself. There have been weeks, mostly when the children were sick, which I cooked only half-finished. And nothing, not dead. There was more free time, I became less tired and, accordingly, much less take it out on children.

7. Own appearance. My husband (and girlfriend) thought that a woman on maternity leave do not care what she looks like and what to wear. Ooh, it's not! As soon as I started again to monitor their appearance, I felt much, much better! My husband also appreciated the way. I found the money and a new track suit (and what else to sit in the sandbox?), And on the trip to the hairdresser. With each event, my tone was getting higher and higher. I did not expect, that looks so affects the inner sense of self! Of course, I had to save on everything, try to choose less expensive items and services. But in the first year I even thought did not arise, it is necessary. And it turned out that this is a very important part of good health. And well-being disappeared and irritation!

8. Hiking to her friends. Well, even with the kids! But to pull out of the usual circle, on which you run from morning till night. It is also very invigorating. By the way, at a party, children sometimes become me seem easy with gift! At the time when they were engaged exclusively games, they looked like an angel! No irritation, sheer affection :))))

9. Joint hiking with children. In the park, a cinema, attractions, to nature - all entertainment. And the children useful, and most fun. However, the discipline it's still limping, but I myself was not allowed to raise their children in public and all conversations to reserve home. So much easier to walk. Street and on the street, the children splashed excess energy.

10. I took a small home-based work (I'm an accountant by profession). And denezhka small, and the way to make brains work, and the opportunity to practice in the home compliance "do not touch my mom" mode. Also very invigorates and enhances self-esteem. Ironically, employment increased and the irritation was less!

11. Hobby. Never in my hobby is not enough time, and in the decree found! I started to knit, it was very interesting and fun! Bought colorful, merry yarn, knitting scarves children first, then the cap, then socks. Related huge colored plaid! Of the various pieces of bright colors, but that combined with the interior. It turned out that every time I have this blanket fell glance at me mood rises automatically! And irritation somewhere evaporate.

12. Often children feel sorry. And remember the good. They are not especially annoying! At a time when the irritation peaked, I remembered how they embrace and kiss me, and say I'm their favorite mom in the world. I recall the happy moments: fun, joint campaigns somewhere, they enjoyed gifts. How to cry when I am dissatisfied with them.

13. Exit to another room. I usually enough for 5-7 minutes to calm down.

14. Beat a pillow, throw in the wall stuffed toys with all his strength, all kinds of balls. The main thing is that children are not seen. It helps to let off steam.

15. Find a good anywhere and in any moment. Yes, it was hard! Especially at first, when I owned despondency and apathy. But after a while such an attitude to life becomes a habit, oddly enough! First, I had to remind myself that in any situation, there are pros and then the pros began to be automatic.

I wish you as its own way of dealing with irritation to children as soon as possible to find! After all, children grow up pretty quickly, and we can make sure that only good memories, and irritation and fatigue were forgotten as soon as possible!

#ways #cope #irritation #their #children

0 notes