#and it got me motivated to work on so many abandoned ideas
Text
˚✧₊・🍉 — SPONSOR A WIP FOR GAZA !
hello everyone!! i wanted to join the writing project ficsforgaza with the intention of raising more awareness and hopefully donations for the ongoing cause. i am a little slow on writing but hopefully this will motivate myself and others for a good cause <3!
rate: $1 USD per 100 words !
instructions: please follow this link and donate to a vetted fund of your choosing. after doing so, send an off-anon ask to myself including the following: a redacted screenshot as proof (hiding any personal information), a link to the fundraiser you’ve donated to, the name of the wip you’re sponsoring.
example: hi aali! i have donated to help mashael and her family. i would like to sponsor an alternative to grief [ screenshot showing $5 usd has been donated - equivalent to 500 words ]
i will not be publishing asks, but for transparency, will be keeping a record of evidence to send to @ficsforgaza — this is to ensure individuals are not reusing screenshots sent to myself or other writers. the wips will be updated regularly.
⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 🍉 wips disclaimer ! - they are below the cut.
there will also be a donation goal for each wip just to ensure that I don’t get overwhelmed! i work full time and write a little slow, but the main goal is to raise awareness and donate to an important cause. there are various lengths available, subject to change but dont worry if i don’t have anything you fancy! please check out the other authors who are apart of this project!
note: minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact. sfw, nsfw and dark content is included in the wips below.
⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 🍉 current wips available !
an alternative to grief; katsuki bakugou.
tags ! pro hero!bakugou, nurse!reader, strangers to lovers, dating after loss, children, therapy, grief, hurt comfort, fluff, angst, smut + part one of three.
with the sudden death of your husband, you find yourself alone with a son, angry at the world and in the corner of a therapy group specifically for grieving spouses of pro heroes. it isn’t until you lock eyes with a familiar, formidable red that you come to realise… there is happiness after death and alternatives to grief.
current word count: 5,991/10,000+
donation goal word count: 0/5,000
my doll; eijirou kirishima.
tags ! pro hero!au, soft dom!kirishima, dumbification, dollification, smut + dark content.
eijirou kirishima was born with an innate desire to protect, to give, to dominate and perhaps that is why he slowly begins to take over your life, treating you as though you’re some dainty little doll…belonging only to him.
current word count: 2,647/3,500
donation goal word count: 0/1,000
something i thought belonged to me; izuku midoriya.
tags ! pro hero!au, college!au, strangers to friends to lovers, coming of age, misunderstandings, fluff, angst + smut.
after abandoning your dream school to start anew and get away from your shitty ex, you adopt a stray l cat to cope with your lonesome…only to find out the pro hero exchange student next door has had the exact same idea.
current word count: 134/15,000+
donation goal word count: 500/5,000
swingsets; yuuji itadori.
tags ! college!au, small town!au, summer romance, coming of age, first loves, self discovery, misunderstandings, fluff, angst + smut, part one of many.
everyone always says you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. but life moves quick and yuuji itadori has only one year left of his degree to figure out what it is that he wants. making it big in the big city of tokyo isn’t all what it’s cut out to be, so he decides to return to his roots, and indirectly, return to you. OR a jjk small town!au where each sorry connects to another. this is the story of yuuji itadori, reconnecting with his first love.
current word count: 0/20,000+
donation goal word count: 1820/5,000
other ways to help can be found here and here.
— all rights reserved © TTEOKDOROKI 2020-2024. all fanfics belong to me, do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend on tiktok any of the works seen here.
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did it!
I'm a whumptober completionist! I wrote something for all 31 prompts!
Oh wow. I really wasn't sure if I could do it but I did and I'm really happy with everything I put out. Thank you everyone for the comments, relogs, likes & kudos, they're so fun to read and such a good encouragment.
Gonna take a little break to rest my mind and keyboard then I'll be back at it with some fluffy drabbles and more!
#ahhhhh I'm so proud of myself#and like to get a lil personal in the tags#last year october was super rough personally#and I felt like I was forcing myself to write and tbh not super happy with some of the stuff I put out#so this was like a bit of a redemption year for me plus a challenge#and I experimented and wrote what I wanted#and it got me motivated to work on so many abandoned ideas#dizarys talks
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, Horrormaster Sims. I have a wildly different question that barely relates to TMA (Sorry about that) but its about your own process. Please, if you could, can you tell me how your first drafts made you feel? I'm on the fence about writing my own thing (not a podcast, and again, not Magnus related, though I have a million little aus for that delightful tragedy you wrote, thank you for that!) But I'm discouraged by the collective notion that first drafts are always terrible, because there's no ... examples I can solidly use to help the dumb anxiety beast in my brain that tells me everyone who is in any way popular popped out a golden turd and not, well, you know. One of my friends said 'Oh I bet Jonathan Sims's first draft was nothing like what he wanted' and I got the bright idea to just. Send you an ask, since you're trapped on this hellsite like I am. Anyway, thanks for reading this (if you do) and if you'd rather ask it privately, I am cool with that. Alternatively, you're a hella busy man with Protocol (you and Alex are making me rabid, i hope you know) and you can just ignore this! Cheers, man, and good words.
To my mind all writing advice, especially stuff that's dispensed as truisms (like "first drafts are always garbage") are only useful inasmuch as such advice prompts you to pay attention to how you write best: what helps your workflow, what inspires you, what keeps you going through the rough bits. There are as many different ways to write (and write well) as there are people who write and so always consider this sort of thing a jumping off point to try out or keep in mind as you gradually figure out your own ways of writing.
On first drafts specifically, I think the wisdom "all first drafts are bad" is a bit of unhelpful oversimplification of the fact that, deadlines notwithstanding, no piece of writing goes out until you decide its ready, so don't get too hung up on your first draft of a thing, because a lot of writers find it much easier to edit a complete work than to try and redraft as they go. It's also important to not let perfectionism or the fact your initial draft isn't coming out exactly how you want stop you from actually finishing the thing, as it's always better to have something decent and done than to have something perfect and abandoned.
But the idea of a "first draft" is also kind of a fluid one. The "first draft" you submit to someone who's commissioned you will probably be one you've already done a bunch of tweaks and edits to, as opposed to the "first draft" you pump out in a frenzy in an over-caffeinated weekend. For my part, my first drafts tend to end up a bit more polished than most, because I'm in the habit of reading my sentences out loud as I write them (a habit picked up from years of audio writing) so I'll often write and re-write a particular sentence or paragraph a few times to get the rhythm right before moving to the next one. This means my first drafts tend to take longer, but are a bit less messy. I'm also a big-time planner and pretty good at sticking to the structures I lay out so, again, tend to front load a lot of stuff so I get a better but slower first draft.
At the end of the day, though, the important thing is to get in your head about it in a good way (How do I write best? what helps me make writing I enjoy and value? What keeps me motivated?) and not in a bad way (What if it's not good enough? What if everyone hates it? What if it doesn't make sense?) so that you actually get it done.
As for how my first drafts made me feel? Terrible, every one of 'em No idea if that's reflective of their quality, though, tbh - I hate reading my own writing until I've had a chance to forget it's mine (I can only ever see the flaws). I suppose there's theoretically a none-zero chance they were pure fragments of True Art and creative perfection, but Alex's editing notes make that seem unlikely.
#writing advice#rambling#first drafts#gotta say not mad on being called a horrormaster#feel like ive a ways to go yet#horror journeyman maybe
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
redamancy - jjk (part iii)
⤖ genre: fluff, future smut, angst, gardener!jeongguk x rich!reader, okay but jeongguk isn't really a gardener like that but you'll see, kinda slow burn but not really
⤖ pairing: jeongguk x female reader
⤖ rating: 18+
⤖word count: approx. 14.1 k words
⤖ chapter warnings: explicit language, angst
summary: jeongguk is just a normal dude with a simple routine. wake up, go to the gym, work his job as a waiter at this posh upscale restaurant in the heart of gangnam before coming home to a night full of video games and ramen (it's delicious and cheap). that routine gets disrupted when he accidentally taps the back of an expensive sports car of one of the richest men in south korea. considering he's broke, he couldn't afford to pay for the damages so the man makes a deal with him by offering him to work at his house as one of the gardeners. jeongguk takes it but wasn't prepared to meet this beautiful young woman who's constantly lounging by the pool, you, the rich man's daughter.
author's note: hi hi hi pls don't kill me yall. i know it's been MONTHS since i last posted. there were many life changing events that occurred in my life and it really held me back from ever completing part 3. i had half of it written in august but it was left abandoned for a while because of my college semester. i also lost motivation to write for so long too. im gonna be honest, i hate this chapter. no matter what i wrote, i was not happy with it at all and im still not. but i didn't wanna keep you guys waiting. the only thing i ask from you is that if you can really give me feedback and thoughts on the chapter, it would be really helpful. seeing you guys enjoy it keeps me motivated to continue writing, the more motivated i am, the sooner i can post future parts. im on summer break so i would really like to finish this story if possible. pls don't be a silent reader. i hope you guys like this chapter. xx M.
taglist:@janedukiesworld@rjsmochii@mwitsmejk@jjeonjjk7@whoa-jo @linda-botello @dewamused @tearsdntfall617 @taehyungseggs @thoudailydeets @hobiiihope @miss-jupiter @petalsofink @imjustreadingig @guksunshine @iheartsvt @rainnyrh @axniyx @kookies-n-spice @carolsummerlove @rievjjks @dopedreamfireparty @
“You’re going to what?” Jeongguk asks, almost dropping the garden snippers on his foot.
Dohyun jumps a little at the older man’s loud voice, almost dropping the flower bouquet. He dusts off his white button-up, fixing the collar.
“I’m going to ask Y/N on a date,” He reiterates proudly. “I got her these chocolates from that fancy chocolate store,” He holds up the white box wrapped in a baby pink bow. “And some roses from my aunt’s flower shop.” His other hand props up the bouquet, plastic rustling when he shakes it.
No way. There’s no way he’s actually going to ask you. Not when you literally just said last night that you don’t have any form of feelings for Dohyun. But you also did mention that you wouldn’t have the heart to turn him down, not wanting to see him hurt.
God, why did you have to be so nice? Are you actually going to accept the date when Dohyun asks you?
He looks at Dohyun who seems to be in a daze, probably daydreaming about you and him together. He shivers at the thought of you kissing Dohyun on the corner of his mouth as you did with Jeongguk last night.
Gross.
There’s no way you’re going on that date with Dohyun. Not when you’ve made it clear that you’re interested in Jeongguk. If that kiss didn’t mean anything last night, he’d be quite upset.
“Uh…I don’t know if that’s…a good idea,” Jeongguk replies, voice honeyed. He’d be damned if he lets Dohyun ask you out first.
The excited smile begins to fade, forming a firm line. He looks at Jeongguk in confusion, “Why?” He asks.
Fuck, what can he say? There’s no excuse coming to mind.
“Listen, dude,” Jeongguk walks up to Dohyun, putting his arm around the younger man’s shoulder. “Girls like Y/N, they’re not interested in guys like us.”
Is he gonna go to hell for lying like this?
“Guys like…us?” Dohyun questions, looking up at Jeongguk with a clueless pout.
Jeongguk nods, pretending to look sullen, “Yeah, I mean look at us, we’re just a bunch of commoners,” Something you’ve made very apparent that you don’t care about. “Y/N’s family…they’re rich. She’s probably into guys who own sports cars and Rolex watches.” Lies. You’ve mentioned how you couldn’t stand materialistic guys.
“So what you’re saying is…” Dohyun stares at the grass thoughtfully, “That I need to have nice and expensive things.” Jeongguk nods in response.
Yeah, he’s definitely going to hell.
“B-But I made reservations at that expensive French restaurant,” He tells Jeongguk, looking a little sad.
Lame. Going to a fancy wine-and-dine restaurant for a date would not impress you, he thinks. You already seem to be sick of your high-class lifestyle. The last thing you would want is to be sitting in a place surrounded by other rich folks.
If it were up to Jeongguk, he would’ve taken you to his favorite street vendor for some tteokbokki and then to the arcade to play games. He thinks you’d enjoy that more.
“It’s okay man. That wouldn’t have been enough,” Jeongguk shakes his head, putting a hand on the other’s shoulder in a comforting manner, “She probably would’ve ordered the most expensive wine on the menu.”
Dohyun’s bottom lip quivers and a look of despair etched onto his face. “I would’ve paid for it.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, “You could afford that?”
Dohyun shrugs, “I made a deal with the manager to pay in installments.” Geez, he really had it all planned out.
“I don’t think she’s worth it, dude,” Jeongguk’s voice is laced with fake sorrow. He hopes you never find out that he’s saying this shit because he does not mean a single damn thing he just told Dohyun.
“I mean I guess you’re right,” Dohyun looks down at the flower bouquet with a dejected look on his face. “She’s just always been so nice to me so I thought there might’ve been something there.”
You are a nice person. So nice that it shook Jeongguk to the core. There wasn’t a single bad body in your body it seems. You would never have any ill intentions towards anyone. He’s witnessed it firsthand. You’re damn considerate of others that you were afraid of facing the day Dohyun confessed to you because you didn’t have it in you to turn him down and witness his heartbreak.
If anything, Jeongguk is doing both you and Dohyun a favor.
“I hear you, buddy,” Jeongguk clasps his hand against Dohyun’s back, making the younger man wince a little. “Guys like us never get the girl.”
Except for Jeongguk. He thinks he might have a chance.
Too arrogant?
“I guess I’ll just cancel the reservation,” Dohyun states in melancholy, and Jeongguk immediately nods.
Yes, cancel the reservation. Please. Cancel so Jeongguk can ask you out on a date instead.
“Well I’m going to go put this stuff back,” Jeongguk tells him, putting the tools away in the bucket. He’s also hoping to catch you sitting outside again. He wonders what swimsuit you’re wearing today.
“I’ll go with you,” Dohyun mumbles, walking alongside Jeongguk.
God dammit, never mind, he prays you’re not sitting outside.
The two men are heading towards the back along the concrete pathway, stopping in front of the shed. Jeongguk looks over at the sunbed where you’re usually sitting but fortunately, you’re not there. His shoulders relax at that and he lets out a sigh of relief. He can’t help but look over at Dohyun, only to see him already staring at the sunbed as well with a gloomy look on his face.
“Come on, help me put these tools where they need to go,” Jeongguk suggests in an attempt to distract the younger man. He’s not going to lie, he does feel a little guilty for lying like this to him.
Jeongguk is never the type to really feel guilty which is why his Jin Hyung calls him a dickhead sometimes. But right now, he can feel it just a tad bit.
Dohyun glances over at the sunbed one last time before hesitantly following Jeongguk inside, placing the bouquet and box of chocolates onto the wooden table. He takes out the tools one by one, placing them onto the hooks. Jeongguk just watches the other, noticing how his frown isn’t going away, eyebrows furrowed.
Once the tools are placed in their respective places, the two of them head back outside. Dohyun leaves first and Jeongguk follows behind only to bump into the other male’s back when he pauses in his footsteps. He clicks his tongue, looking up at Dohyun only to find him staring longingly at something a few feet away.
Oh god, please don’t let it be.
He turns his head and there you are, walking outside of the house in your swimming attire. There’s a book in your hand as per usual and it sounds like you’re humming to a certain tune, earbuds on.
Jeongguk finds himself panicking, ready to steer Dohyun away from the back but it’s too late.
“You know what, I’m still gonna tell her,” Dohyun says determinedly. “I’m still gonna ask her out on that date.” He’s got to be joking. “I’m gonna ask her out on that date and then tell her I’ve been in love with her since we were kids.” Before Jeongguk could respond, Dohyun is already striding over to you, chocolate and flowers in hand.
This is not going to end well.
+
It’s a beautiful day out, you think. The sky is a bright blue, the sun is out and shining high, the garden is looking colorful and vibrant with the newly planted flowers and there’s a nice breeze blowing through the air. You have a smile on your face as you think about all the things that happened yesterday.
The way Jeongguk kept making you laugh obnoxiously and smile like a fool. He’s unintentionally funny because he’s so honest and blunt. He wouldn’t even try hard to make you laugh, he would just say something casually and actually be serious about it when you think he’s joking. You hope that you can see him again outside of your house soon.
You haven’t seen him yet and you’re hoping he hasn’t left yet. At least not without saying bye to you. Not that he has to but it be nice if he did.
You’re listening to music when you walk outside of the house into the backyard, book in hand, ready to begin your reading for the day. You plan to read just for a little bit, drinking a glass of red wine while you wait for Jeongguk to come to the back.
Luckily, your mother isn’t home, having gone to her company’s building after finding out about some setbacks with the clothing material for her latest fashion line. You have no idea what it was exactly but she was definitely stressed out about it.
Plopping down onto the lounger, you open your book to the page you bookmarked before picking up your wine glass to take a sip. Before you can bring the glass up to your lips, you hear your name being called by a ringing voice.
You flinch, almost spilling the wine on your thigh, and look up to see Dohyun striding towards you, a look of determination on his face. In his hands, he’s holding a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.
Oh god. You were afraid of when this day would come.
You set down the glass on the circular glass table beside you, closing the book as well. Mustering up your best (fake) smile, you greet him, “Hey,” You clear your throat, “Um you look nice.”
The compliment immediately brings a bashful smile to his face as he looks down at the ground before looking at you once again. “Thank you,” He responds.
“Mhm,” You clear your throat, awkwardly looking away.
God, you were nervous. You already told Jeongguk you were never prepared for the moment when Dohyun was going to ask you out. You always hoped for him to eventually lose feelings and let you go. However, here he is, standing in front of you dressed in nice clothes while holding a flower bouquet.
You felt like you were going to be sick.
“So I uh,” Dohyun lets out a deep breath. “I was wondering if you would,” No please no. “Sorry,” He shakes his head at himself. “I had a whole speech prepared but now I can’t seem to remember anything,” He tells you and a fake laugh escapes your lips.
If he can just get nervous and maybe back out…
“Iwaswonderingifyoudliketogoonadatewithme,” He says it so fast that you almost miss it but you knew exactly what he just asked you.
Your throat feels tight, eyes just staring at him in surprise. What do you say? How can you tell him no? Not when he’s staring at you with those hopeful eyes, hands clutching the bouquet and chocolates.
How can you go on a date with someone else when you have a crush on Jeongguk? A major crush. Though you don’t know him very well, you know enough to like him. A lot. But maybe he doesn’t like you. He’s still a mystery to you. He’s made it clear that he finds you attractive but what if to him this is just some sort of little game to him?
After all, he is only working here temporarily. He could just be trying to get into your pants and then disappear right after he gets what he wants. You don’t know. He genuinely seemed interested in having a conversation with you last night but at the same time, it could just be an act.
“Um Y/N?” Dohyun’s call of your name causes you to snap out of your doubtful thoughts and look up at him.
“Yes?” You say in surprise.
“Wait, that's a yes?” An excited smile grows on his face.
Oh fuck. That’s not what you meant. The smile on his face…how can you say no now?
Letting out a regretful sigh, you gather a fake smile on your face. “Yes,” You can’t believe you’re doing this. “I’ll go on a date with you.” With those words leaving your lips, your eyes immediately snap to Jeongguk who you didn’t realize was standing a few feet away from you both.
The look on his face causes your heart to drop into your stomach.
Did he just witness you say yes to the date?
Your eyes don’t look away from him, a guilty expression on your face as you stare at his now blank face. It went from surprise to blank in a matter of seconds, a way of showing you that he looks unbothered by what just happened.
Maybe he is unbothered by it.
If he isn’t, then he’s doing a great job at not showing it.
You didn’t mean to say yes. In fact, you were ready to say no. But with the excited look on his face, you don’t have it in you to take it away. You just have to come clean later. You can’t get this far.
Not when you know you can’t reciprocate your feelings for the man.
“I’m so glad you said yes!” His smile is vibrant and it looks like he can’t contain his excitement, bouncing on his tiptoes.
With a tight-lipped smile, you accept the bouquet of red roses he hands you along with the chocolates. Your eyes glance behind him again towards where Jeongguk is standing. He gives you a thumbs-up and a pursed-lip smile before heading towards the gate.
You open your mouth to say something but Dohyun speaks before any words can escape you, your attention turning back towards him again.
“So I can pick you up on Friday? How does 7 sound?” He asks you, voice sounding thrilled.
The more you hear him speak, the worse you feel. There’s no backing out of this now. Jeongguk left without saying anything which causes you to question how he might’ve felt. Maybe he did like you back. Or maybe he just doesn’t care.
Again, you don’t know.
The overwhelming feeling of all kinds of emotions fills you and you just wish to disappear but instead, you just give Dohyun another fake smile and say, “Sounds good.”
“Great!” He grins. “I’ll see you Friday!” He says before turning on his feet and leaving. You watch him walk towards the gate, no longer containing his excitement when you hear him whisper yes yes yes.
“Jeongguk! Wait up!” You hear Dohyun shout, eagerness, and enthusiasm loud in his tone.
You wince, looking towards the gate in hopes of catching a glimpse of Jeongguk but you fail to see him at all. He didn’t bother to come to the back and say. But you can probably understand why. You let out a sad sigh, holding up the bouquet of flowers in your hand and staring at them.
Just one date. You just have to get through this one date.
+
Friday evening
The feeling of dread swirls in your stomach as you stare into the mirror with your hair and face ready for the date you’re about to go on. You’re not looking forward to it at all. Ever since you woke up this morning, you thought about coming up with some sort of excuse to back out of the date. Maybe lie and say you have the stomach flu or something.
Then again, if you lie, you would just be postponing the date because you have a feeling he would reschedule it for another day. So you thought to yourself that it would be better to get it over with.
Your plan is to go on the date, eat and then tell him that you don’t have any feelings for him. You know that if you lead him on further, it will end with a more painful heartbreak for him.
You’re also bummed because, for the remainder of the week, you did not see Jeongguk at all. Even when you sat down at the pool all day, constantly looking over at the door in hopes of catching sight of him, he didn’t come towards the back.
Instead of Jeongguk coming to the shed to drop off the tools, it would either be some other gardener or sometimes even Dohyun who, of course, would wave at you excitedly and remind you about the time of your date on Friday.
You think he might be disappointed in you and doesn’t want to see you. Or maybe he backed off because he probably thinks you’re giving Dohyun a chance when you’re not.
You just fucked up by saying yes.
After telling Dohyun that you don’t have feelings for him, you’re determined to tell Jeongguk you like him when you see him on Monday. And if he doesn’t like you back?
Well then you’re just going to hide in your room in embarrassment until he finishes working his last few days at your estate
You’re wearing a black long-sleeved dress that has a square-shaped neckline and slightly ruffled sleeves. It reaches below your knees, a slit on the left side, revealing the skin up to your midthigh. You left your hair open in soft curls and your makeup is done minimally.
You’re putting on your dangly earring when you hear your phone vibrate on the vanity. The screen lights up with a text from Dohyun telling you he’s out front waiting for you. You exhale deeply, attempting to calm yourself down, feeling slightly sick in the stomach.
Just two hours. You just have to endure this date for two hours.
Fixing the loose strand of hair in your face, you look into the mirror one last time before grabbing your clutch and walking out of the bedroom and down the spiral steps. You nod your head at one of the maids on your way out, giving her a polite smile.
When you walk outside of your house, you see Dohyun waiting in front of the gate with another bouquet of flowers. He cleaned himself nicely, wearing a white button-up under a black blazer with matching pants. His hair is pushed back and he’s not wearing those glasses again.
With an elated grin, he gives you a bow which you return before grabbing the flowers he holds out and muttering a small ‘thanks’ in response.
He nods, seeming proud of himself before he holds out his hand which you hesitantly take. He walks you to his car, a red Toyota Corolla, opening the door for you politely.
Your mind can’t help but wonder when you went out with Jeongguk that night at the bar and he told you that chivalry was dead so he wouldn’t open the door for you. You can’t help but smile at the memory, shaking your head.
Once you’re sitting down in the car, bouquet in your lap along with your clutch, he gently closes the door before jogging towards the driver's side to sit down. His face is beaming when he starts the car again, the sound of a girl group song immediately playing on the Bluetooth loudly, causing you to wince at the volume.
He looks panicked, cheeks and ears red as he quickly turns down the volume dial on the knob and mumbles a shy ‘sorry. You give him a reassuring smile before looking out of the window.
The car begins moving, an awkward silence immediately filling the air since neither of you say a single word. Dohyun is the first to break it, clearing his throat before speaking.
“So how was your day?” He asks, attempting to make conversation.
You shrug, watching outside as he drives out of your neighborhood towards the city. “It was okay. Didn’t really do much.”
Other than hoping and praying for the date to be canceled one way or another.
He nods, tapping his index fingers against the steering wheel as he says, “Cool cool. I didn’t do much either.” You nod, listening. “Well actually, I started this new Korean drama. It’s about this guy who…”
He rambles about the drama, beginning from the first episode and providing you with details on how it all started, and for almost the majority of the car ride, he’s giving you a rundown on how each episode goes down one by one along with his personal opinions. You just nod and add in a few words to make yourself sound interested when really, all you wanted to do was open the car door and roll down the street.
Unable to help yourself, your mind drifts to the time you were with Jeongguk and how you two talked about the most random things. He would tell you crazy stories about the things he’s done with his friends, always having something ridiculous to say which would make you laugh a crazy amount.
Again, Jeongguk is blunt and careless about what he says and who he says it to. He never held back from telling you things that might sound absurd to others.
For this one time when he and his six other friends had a competition on who can eat the most gamja hot dogs at a carnival before they all went on one of those spinning rides and ended up vomiting while the ride was still going. The whole ride had to immediately shut down and people who were waiting in line were not happy and covered in their puke.
To make the night even worse, his friend Jin almost fought a little kid over the last alpaca plushie at one of the games and it resulted in them being kicked out of the carnival.
The whole time he had told you that story, he had a smile on his face at the memories and you remember being enraptured by how beautiful he looked with his bunny teeth on display, the small mole beneath his rose-colored lips visible; the hand gestures he’d make to animate the story.
You don’t realize you’re smiling again until Dohyun calls for your name, causing you to flinch in surprise.
“Yeah?” You ask, smile dropping and you look at him questioningly.
“I was um asking what you thought about it?” He wonders, glancing at you before looking back at the road.
Fuck, what did he ask about?
“I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “Can you repeat the question?” You look at him apologetically, mentally cursing at yourself for being distracted by Jeongguk again.
Dohyun clears his throat, “I was asking what your thoughts were on the show so far.”
Oh right, the show. The one you didn’t listen to a single thing about. God, you don’t know what to say.
Think, Y/N, think.
“It sounds…” You’re looking for the right word. “Like there’s a lot going on.” You slightly wince at that, hoping he doesn’t notice.
Dohyun looks a bit confused, pursing his lips in thought before saying, “Really? I don’t know. I honestly think it’s quite boring. There’s no good drama going on with the characters.” He says and you nod.
“Honestly you’re right,” You quickly add. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” You let out a fake chuckle. “It needs to be more dramatic.”
You have no fucking clue what you’re saying.
Seeming to be satisfied with the answer, he nods with a smile before moving on to a different topic.
For the rest of the car ride, you try really hard to give him your full attention when he talks, chipping in on things when appropriate up until you guys reach the restaurant. You let out a slightly annoyed sigh under your breath when the restaurant comes into view.
Pierre Gagnaire à Séoul.
The French restaurant your mother absolutely loves meanwhile you hate. The food is not bad but it’s not to your taste. You’re also not a fan of the environment, surrounded by all the posh and stuck-up rich people.
The restaurant has valet parking as well so when you guys pull up to the front, Dohyun quickly opens the door and runs to your side so he can open your own door for you, holding his hand out for you to take.
You try not to think about how Jeongguk would probably tell you to open the door yourself because he wouldn’t do it for you.
He hands his keys over to the valet before you both head inside, his hand holding yours. You try not to squirm when he tries to intertwine your fingers, letting out a breath to try and relax.
He opens the door for you, allowing you to go in first and you give him a thank you before walking inside first, internally grateful that your hands are no longer clasped together.
The aromatic smell of the food immediately hits your nose. The sound of chatter fills your ears along with the utensils hitting against the plates. The sight you see with your eyes is one you are used to. Wealthy people dressed to the nines in their extravagant dresses and suits, sipping on expensive wine.
“Good evening,” The hostess at the front greets with a practiced smile. “Reservation?”
Dohyun nods excitedly, “Dohyun at 7:30.” He tells her and she nods, looking at the screen before grabbing two menus from beside her and nudging her head towards the tables.
“Follow me please,” She says, Dohyun letting you go first before he follows behind you. You walk past other people, avoiding making eye contact with anyone you know.
This restaurant is where all of the affluent people go, friends of your family that your parents are close to. You wouldn’t be surprised if you saw any of them here though you’d much rather not which is why you just stare at the hostess’ back as she guides you both towards your table.
Dohyun pulls the chair back for you as soon as you reach the table before he sits himself down. The hostess places the menus down on the table before saying, “Your waiter should be here shortly.” And with that, she leaves.
“I’ve never been here before so I’m excited,” Dohyun says, flipping through the menu with stars in his eyes.
You shrug, pretending to look through the menu though not really because you already know what you’re going to choose. “I’ve been a few times,” You inform him.
“Oh,” He looks at you. “Do you like it?” He looks nervous when he waits for your response.
You give him a pursed-lip smile and say, “Yeah,” You lie. “I like it.”
He grins, seeming satisfied with the answer before looking at the menu again. You look down at your own menu again in order to distract yourself, waiting for him to decide what he wants to eat.
“Good evening, my name is Jeongguk and I’ll be your waiter this evening.” As soon as you hear that husky yet gentle voice, your head snaps up to the person and the menu drops onto the table out of surprise.
And there he is, standing in front of you wearing black slacks that accentuate his strong thighs while he wears a white button-up that hugs his chest. The sleeves are pulled up a bit, his inked arms slightly peaking out. His dark hair is pushed back to reveal his eyebrow piercing and strong brows, a single loose strand slightly falling forward on his forehead.
His large doe brown eyes meet yours, shock evident on his face as he stares right back at you.
“Holy shoot Jeongguk!” Dohyun sounds just as surprised as you look before a large smile overtakes his face.
+
Jeongguk had no fucking idea that this was the fancy wine and dine restaurant Dohyun was going to take you to for the date.
The whole week Dohyun wouldn’t shut up about it and he didn’t bother asking the younger man which restaurant it was. He wasn’t interested in knowing because quite frankly, he tried not to care.
To say that he was disappointed when you said yes to Dohyun would be an understatement. He knew you were too nice and didn’t want to hurt the guy but he really thought you’d muster up the courage to turn him down.
Instead, he watched you say yes and take the flowers and chocolates from Dohyun with that pretty smile on your face.
Now Jeongguk usually isn’t the type to get jealous. But that’s usually because there’s no one he’s really been interested in. Sure, he’s had a few girlfriends here and there but the relationships don’t last long enough because the girl either ends up batshit crazy or he just couldn’t return the same feelings.
But seeing Dohyun all excited and happy about taking you out on a date would just piss him off. He wanted to be the one to take you out. He thinks his plan would’ve been more solid and fun. Taking you out to the arcade before eating at his favorite fried chicken spot with beer.
Jeongguk can’t deny that he holds these strong feelings of infatuation towards you. You interest him because you’re different. Sure, it might sound like those typical cliche things but he’s speaking the truth. You’re intelligent, funny, and so fucking kind to others. Let’s not also forget how immensely beautiful you are.
Yeah, he’s got a gigantic crush on you.
Too bad he’s standing in front of you as your waiter and not as the date sitting across from you. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of you right now. Taking in your wide eyes and slightly ajar mouth, he tries not to act just as surprised by keeping a blank stare.
“Oh wow, didn’t expect to see you guys here,” Jeongguk says, voice flat and void of any emotion.
Before you can say anything, Dohyun says, “Jeongguk, I didn't know you worked here!” Jeongguk tries not to wince at Dohyun’s loud enthusiastic voice.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk clears his throat, giving his full attention to Dohyun so he doesn’t stare at you. “Usually the evening shifts now since you know…I work at the other place.” He informs him.
Dohyun nods, “Cool cool.” He looks across at you. “Isn’t it funny how Jeongguk is our waiter, Y/N?”
Jeongguk looks at you who’s just looking at Dohyun before glancing at him, “Yeah, it’s pretty crazy.” Your voice is shy of speaking and he thinks it's because of him. He holds eye contact with you, taking in the small pout on your glossy lips. There’s a certain emotion in your eye, almost looking apologetic but Jeongguk tries to brush it off.
“Anyways, what would you guys like to start off with? Something to drink maybe?” Jeongguk asks, pulling out a pen and his notepad.
Don’t fucking look at Y/N, Jeongguk.
Dohyun looks at you first with a questioning gaze, “Y/N?”
You clear your throat as you shut the menu, “I’ll just have water.” Jeongguk nods before looking at Dohyun.
“I’ll also have water,” The younger man smiles at Y/N.
Why the fuck is this guy always smiling? Jeongguk wonders.
And why the fuck are they both just ordering water? If Jeongguk were you, he’d be ordering the overpriced wines for the hell of it. Maybe just maybe…he can make this date a bit more entertaining for himself.
Jeongguk stands straighter and then looks at Dohyun, “Are you sure you guys don’t want to try the red wine? It’s Pinot Noir. A classic.”
Dohyun’s eyes widen for a second before they glance at you and then back to Jeongguk. Jeongguk looks at Dohyun and secretly winks, almost as a way of communicating to the younger man that this is going to impress you.
Jeongguk knows it won’t but he’s bored and sad. Sue him.
Dohyun nods rapidly and says, “We’ll have some of that as well.”
Before Jeongguk can say anything, you cut in by saying, “Are you sure about that? It’s quite expensive, Dohyun.” You’re looking at him in concern, pointing a manicured nail at the price of the wine on the menu.
Dohyun just shakes his head and tries to wave it off, “Don’t worry, Y/N. I can afford it. Order whatever you want.”
You purse your lips, not saying anything else. Your eyes shift to Jeongguk slightly squinting at him almost in suspicion but he just shrugs, turning around to walk away.
Is Jeongguk going to look like an asshole for trying to sabotage this date? Probably. Does he care? Not really. He’s trying to save your ass before Dohyun confesses to you. He needs to make sure that doesn’t happen otherwise you’re going to end up lying and telling the man that you like him back when Jeongguk knows damn well you don’t.
Though Jeongguk only really hung out with you once, he knows enough to say that you will feel extremely guilty for hurting someone else’s feelings. You’ve proven that just by going on this date with Dohyun regardless of the fact that you don’t hold any feelings for the guy. You just didn’t want to turn him down because you knew he’d be heartbroken.
Jeongguk is not going to let you accept Dohyun’s confession. Not when Jeongguk likes you and you like him. At least he thinks you like him because if that kiss on the corner of his mouth didn’t mean anything he doesn’t know what the fuck that meant.
Surely you weren’t leading him on. Or maybe that’s how you say goodbye to your friends?
Wait, but then again you don’t have friends.
This shit is going to give Jeongguk a headache. By the end of this date, if it doesn’t turn into a complete disaster, Jeongguk is going to stop being a pussy and say something. He doesn’t exactly know what yet. But something.
Pouring the wine into the fancy glasses, he puts them on a tray and brings them back out to the table. The first thing he sees when he heads towards your table is your smiling face looking directly at Dohyun.
Hell no.
“Here’s your water,” Jeongguk places down each glass one by one. “And your wine,” He carefully puts down yours, making direct eye contact with you as he does. He notices you gulp and he tries to hold back a smile. When he’s setting Dohyun’s glass on the table, his finger accidentally knocks over the glass, causing it to tip over onto the table and a little bit on Dohyun’s slacks.
Okay, that one wasn’t planned, Jeongguk swears.
Dohyun gasps out of surprise, standing up with his pants slightly soaked in the wine. Meanwhile, you’re just staring with your hand covering your mouth, eyes wide. Jeongguk quickly acts shocked as well.
“I am so sorry,” He picks up the white cloth napkin and attempts to dab it on Dohyun’s pants at the front. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know how that fell over.” He pretends to wince, facial expression feigning guilt.
Some of the people at the surrounding tables are watching, talking amongst themselves as they stare at what just happened. It’s like they’re expecting Dohyun to lash out at Jeongguk or something but instead, he says, “Hey it’s okay. It was an accident.” He grabs the cloth from the Jeongguk, patting the pants himself.
This guy is so damn nice, Jeongguk hates it. Why is he so damn nice?
“You sure you don’t want to go clean up?” Jeongguk hears you ask, watching the whole scene in concern.
“No no,” Dohyun shakes his head and waves off. “It’s alright. At least I’m wearing black pants so it’s not that noticeable.” He laughs and you just nod in response.
“I’ll get you another glass,” Jeongguk speaks, turning around to get him another glass. Once he returns with a new one, he carefully places it on the table.
“Alright, so did you guys decide what you want to eat?” Jeongguk clasps his hands together, looking between the two, gaze lingering on you.
Look away, Jeongguk. Look. Away.
“Hm, I’m having a hard time deciding actually,” Dohyun pouts, brows furrowed as he studies the menu. “Do you have any recommendations?”
Boy, Jeongguk sure does.
Clearing his throat, he slightly cranes his neck to look over at the menu and points at one item in particular, “I recommend this filet mignon. Everyone loves it.” And it’s fucking expensive as fuck.
Jeongguk hears you add to the conversation, “It’s almost 150,000 won…” You’re staring at him in ridicule, mouth parted and eyes wide.
If there’s anything Jeongguk has learned about you, it’s that you’re not dumb. In fact, you are very fucking intelligent and he’s pretty sure you can see right through his actions. But for some reason, that doesn’t stop Jeongguk. Maybe he wants to have a bit of fun with this. In his defense, he’s trying to help you.
“Don’t worry about the price, Y/N. I can afford it,” Dohyun acts nonchalantly, looking up at Jeongguk and confidently saying, “I’ll have that.” He then looks at you. “Y/N?”
You let out a defeated sigh, closing the menu, “I’ll just have the risotto carnaroli de coquillages.” The way you say it so eloquently in French almost makes Jeongguk's dick hard. God, it sounded so hot.
How much more attractive and interesting can you get?
And also, where the fuck did you learn to speak perfect French?
It seems as though Jeongguk isn’t the only one affected by your French speaking because when he looks at Dohyun, the younger man is just staring at you with parted lips and stars in his eyes as if you’re the greatest thing he’s ever seen.
You’re so damn nice that you ended up choosing the cheapest entree on the menu. You were just way too damn considerate. There goes that rich girl persona he was trying to paint to Dohyun.
Trying not to physically drool, Jeongguk looks away and nods, “Got it.” He walks always so fast, almost bumping into another waiter on his way.
+
You have a feeling that Jeongguk is trying to fuck up the date you’re on with Dohyun. You can see right through him. Having the poor guy choose expensive menu items so he can impress you when Jeongguk knows damn well you’re not about it.
At least this can kind of confirm that he was affected by the whole date thing. That answers some questions but not all.
Also, can you just say that Jeongguk looks fine as fuck in his uniform?
If you had known that he works here as a waiter, you would’ve definitely joined your mother for the sake of seeing him. The sight of him wearing that tight-fitted button-up with those slacks hugging his ass almost had you drooling.
You tried so hard not to just dead-on stare at him the whole time while he was standing right in front of you. You just couldn’t help yourself at times, eyes trailing down from his perfectly structured face to his chest and down to his tattooed covered hands and forearms that were peaking out from beneath his shirt sleeve.
Your mind was steering away to some…unholy thoughts. Especially because of those damn thighs.
Why did he have to be so damn hot?
Okay, you’re getting a little too carried away right now. You need to focus. Focus on Dohyun. The man you came on a date with. You have to try and at least make some sort of conversation with him. He’s always asking you for your opinion and thoughts on what he’s saying but you end up stuttering your way through the conversation since you have no idea what he’s asking you about when you’re not listening.
Jeongguk being here as your damn waiter does not help the situation at all. Although you think he’s trying to help you in a somewhat cruel way you need to get him to stop. You’re beginning to feel guilty as fuck when you see the man do something that is the total opposite of impressing you.
“Um Y/N?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear Dohyun calling your name.
“Yes? Sorry,” You apologize, feeling bad for being distracted again.
Dohyun shakes his head, a small smile on his face, “No worries. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
Your heart races at that and you gulp, beginning to feel a little worried at what exactly he wants to say. No no, you didn’t think it be this soon. You need to tell him before he tells you. You can’t let him tell you first.
Before you can say anything more, he continues, “I don’t know if you remember that before you left for college I was going to–”
“More wine anyone?” Jeongguk cuts in, holding up the bottle and acting oblivious to what he just interrupted. Your shoulders relax in relief and you nod rapidly.
You really need a fucking drink to get through this.
“Yes please,” You hold up your glass and he pours it in for you.
“There you go,” His fingers brush against yours which ensures the glass is in your hand’s grip when you pull it back and you try not to shiver at the tinging feeling and his eyes directly looking into yours.
“Dohyun?” Jeongguk looks at him with a questioning gaze, holding out the bottle but the other just shakes his head in response.
“I’m good thanks,” He looks eager for Jeongguk to leave right now, knee bouncing in anxiousness.
“Okay well your food should be here shortly,” Jeongguk says before turning to leave. He looks a bit hesitant to leave, glancing over his shoulder to look at you and you just send him a fake small smile, looking down into your lap.
What the fuck do you do?
“As I was saying Y/N, before you left for college I was going to tell you something,” Dohyun’s voice sounds a little shaky when he speaks. “But you had to leave and I never got the chance but for so long I–”
“Bathroom!” You blurt out, eyes going wide.
Dohyun looks confused, “Huh?”
You let out a nervous laugh, “Um I just really need to use the bathroom,” You stand up, grabbing your purse. “Can you give me a few minutes? I really gotta pee.” No, you don’t. You need to go freak the fuck out and possibly climb out of the window.
“Oh okay,” He nods understandably before flashing you a sweet smile. “I’ll wait.”
You give him a fake smile in response, pushing into your chair before walking towards the bathroom. You maneuver your way around a few waiters, avoiding eye contact and rushing inside. Luckily no one else is in the bathroom so you just stand in front of the sink, taking a few deep breaths as you stare into the mirror.
You don’t know how to turn him down. He’s getting so close to telling you about his feelings. You didn’t have the heart to turn him down for the date. What if you can’t reject his feelings for you either?
If that ends up happening, you’d be absolutely fucked.
You don’t even fucking see a window in here otherwise you’d escape right there.
“You okay?” You hear a familiar voice ask, causing you to flinch in surprise, hand resting on your chest.
“Holy shit,” You exhale. “You scared me.” You look at Jeongguk, wondering how the hell you didn’t hear him enter the bathroom.
The women’s bathroom might you add.
“Yeah yeah,” You try to wave off. “I’m fine. What are you doing in here?” You quickly ask, looking away and pretending to look into the mirror and fix your hair.
“I saw you come in and you didn’t look too good,” He shrugs, hands in his pocket as he leans against the wall. “Just thought I’d check up on you.”
Your heart swells a little at his concern. You’re in awe at the fact that he cared enough to come to see how you’re doing because he thought something was wrong. God, he’s making you like him more and more.
“I’m,” You clear your throat, “I’m good.” You’re not. “I think.” You add before letting out a shaky breath. “It’s not every day that someone is about to confess about being in love with you for years.” You let out a humorless chuckle.
“Well you’re right about that,” Jeongguk says and you look at him with a raised eyebrow. He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Sorry, not helping.”
“Not at all,” You respond, turning around so you can lean your back against the counter of the sink. “Aren’t you going to be in trouble for being here?”
Jeongguk shrugs, “Not my first time being in the women’s bathroom during a shift,” He smirks and your chest slightly tinges in jealousy at what he’s implying but then he adds, “I once had to help an old lady clean a stain off of her dress.” You relax at that, causing Jeongguk to smirk.
“What did you think I meant?” He teases and you roll your eyes in response.
“Was it a wine stain cus’ you sure seem to be quite clumsy for a waiter,” You ask with heavy sarcasm, watching how he pushes himself off the wall.
“Hey! That was actually an accident,” Jeongguk tries to defend.
“I’m sure it was,” You remark, arms crossed over your chest. You try not to notice how he’s slowly walking toward you.
“It was,” He answers before saying, “Look I’m trying to help you out over here.”
You pout, avoiding eye contact with him by staring down at the pristine tiled floor. “I don’t need help.”
You’re lying. You really fucking need help.
Jeongguk lets out a sigh, “Y/N, why’d you say yes to the date if you knew you didn’t like him?” He asks, pierced brow raised in question.
Unable to meet his eyes, you fiddle with the rings on your fingers and say, “I just felt really bad because he just seemed so excited,” You look up at him, “I just didn’t know how to say no.”
Jeongguk nods and you notice how he’s standing directly in front of you now. You swallow at the sight of how good he looks in his button-up that shows off his small waist and strong chest. The sleeves are snug around his biceps and the black dress pants accentuate his strong thighs.
“Yeah but now look,” His hand gestures towards the door to refer to Dohyun. “You said yes to the guy, making him think he has a chance or that you might like him or something.” The guilt weighs down on your chest and you stare down at the floor in shame.
Jeongguk is right. You made the mistake of saying yes and it probably made Dohyun hopeful that the feelings he has for you are mutual in return. But that’s not true when the man standing a few inches in front of you is the only one you want.
Seeing the uniform hug his body in a way that shows off his toned muscles almost has you drooling and you try not to shiver at how his dark eyes give you a once-over. You know you look good with the way your black dress is hugging your body, the slit reaching your midthigh, showing off your smooth skin. His eyes seem to linger on that area in particular and you try not to smile.
“I just couldn’t say no,” You whine, pouting at the floor with your arms crossing over your chest.
Jeongguk dips his head a bit, bringing it closer to yours with just a few inches of space in between, and asks, “And why couldn’t you say no?”
Your eyes can’t help but wander to his rose petal-colored lips that look so soft at the moment. You’re curious to know how the piercing would feel if you were to just kiss him on the mouth. There’s also that cute little mole he has beneath his bottom lip. Swallowing, you look up to find his doe-brown eyes staring at your own lips as well.
Clearing your throat, you answer, “Because he brought me flowers a-and…” You shyly look away from his intense gaze, cheeks flushing as you look behind him. “And he got those expensive chocolates. I just didn’t know how to say no.”
“What about me?” Jeongguk inquires, causing you to snap your head to look at him in surprise.
“What about you?” You raise an eyebrow in question.
Your heart starts to race when you notice his right hand come up to your face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lightly brush against your exposed neck, causing you to slightly shiver at his touch.
If he can just wrap those hands around your throat you don’t think you’d mind at all.
“What if I brought you flowers and overpriced chocolates and asked you out to dinner?” He asks, eyes watching how you grab his right hand, fingers tracing over the tattoos on his knuckles.
“I would’ve said yes even if you didn’t bring me flowers or overpriced chocolates,” You tell him truthfully, enjoying the satisfied look on his face.
“Well,” He looks down at your joined hands before intertwining his fingers with yours. “Good to know I don’t have any competition.” You snort at that, suddenly feeling brave and pull him closer to you.
You know you shouldn’t be doing this right now. Not when you’re literally on a date with someone who’s been crushing on you since you were kids but you’re in the bathroom with your waiter slash gardener slash friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is, what you know for sure is that you want to kiss him right in the mouth because he looks too good not to.
So you do.
Forgetting about everything else going on, you make the move you’ve been desperately wanting to make since you saw the man standing in front of you.
You grab the collar of his shirt and tug him down so you can press your lips against his in a lustful kiss. A small noise of surprise leaves his lips but he quickly reacts by putting his hands on your waist and returning the affection.
The feeling of his lips against yours was nothing like you’d ever felt before. They felt almost silk-like and pillowy as they moved against yours in the heated kiss. Sparks ignite, in your chest, buzzing throughout your entire body as his large hands slid up and down your back before moving down toward your hip. He squeezes it softly, causing you to inhale sharply.
His lips move against yours in a soft but sensual manner that has your knees slightly quivering and your heart pounding. You feel breathless when you pull apart for a few seconds with his forehead resting against yours. His right-hand cups your face, thumb playing with your bottom lip.
Jeongguk smirks, “You look good with your lipstick smeared.” You roll your eyes playfully but you can feel the heat in your cheeks at his comment.
“Shut up,” You pull him until your lower back hits the counter behind you, his hands caging your body against it which causes a rush of excitement to run up your spine. You can’t help but give him a once over, noticing how pink his lips look now, hair slightly unruly from your hands. Jeongguk watches as you bring your hands to his chest, fiddling with the collar before letting them trail down his chest to feel his pecs.
The muscles feel hard and firm beneath your hand as you trail them down toward his abdomen. When your hands dip a little too low, he quickly snatches your hand and holds it up against his chest, tugging you close by the waist with the other arm.
“Nuh-uh,” Jeongguk clicks his tongue, “As much as I’m into the idea of fucking you in a public area, you are not about to start this in the fucking bathroom at my job.” Your cheeks flush immediately and you try to shove him away but he hardly moves.
God, you just wanted to devour him right here. You couldn’t handle the sight in front of you right now. You know this is just his work uniform but you never would’ve thought that he can look this good. You just wanted to get on your knees and…
“Y/N.” You immediately snap out of your horny thoughts, eyes wide and face warm. Jeongguk has a stupid smirk on his face as if he knows what you’re thinking about right now.
Despite wanting to tackle him to the ground and have him take you right here, you remember you have a whole date waiting for you outside at the table most likely wondering where you are.
“What?” You clear your throat, pushing those lustful thoughts aside.
Jeongguk holds a teasing smile on his face, “Are you dreaming about my dick?”
“What-no!” You deny, pushing him off and turning towards the mirror to fix your hair. You notice how your lipstick is smeared, courtesy of Jeongguk. You take a tissue and clean it before opening your clutch to pull out the liquid lipstick so you can reapply it.
You can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you the whole time as you’re bent over the counter, looking closely in the mirror. You try not to make eye contact, gliding the applicator across your bottom lip.
Your breath hitches in your throat when you feel his hand slide on your hip but you pretend to like it doesn’t affect you even though your heart rate starts to increase and a feeling of thrill runs up your spine.
“You were totally dreaming about my dick,” You glare at him through the mirror, elbowing him in the abdomen which causes him to slightly groan.
“Why would I be thinking about your dick when I’m on a date with someone else right now?” You ask.
Jeongguk snickers, “You weren’t saying that when you had your tongue down my throat a few minutes ago.”
Your jaw drops and you turn around, pushing at his shoulder, “I did not have my tongue down your throat.”
He has that smug smile on his annoyingly handsome face that had you contemplating whether you wanted to smack him or kiss him again.
“It’s okay, you’re too shy to admit it right now. You’ll get comfortable eventually,” He shrugs, avoiding the little punch you were about to deliver to his chest. He grabs your hand instead and pulls you towards him once again with his tattooed arm around your waist while the other cups your cheek.
“You’re annoying,” You mumble, playing with the top button on his shirt. You notice ink peeking out from where the shirt is unbuttoned which you somehow haven’t noticed before.
Can this man get any more attractive?
“I’d say charming,” Jeongguk responds before asking, “We’ve been here for quite some time now.”
“You’re the one who followed me,” You retorted.
“I had to make sure you were okay,” Jeongguk defends, thumb stroking your cheek. “What are you going to do now?”
You let out a dreaded sigh, letting your hands rest against his chest as you say, “I’m going to have to tell him I’m not interested.” You shake your head. “I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place. It was a mistake from that day but he just had this hopeful smile on his face. I didn’t have it in me to deny him.”
Jeongguk looks at you with a nonjudgmental gaze, nodding his head. “You can’t let this drag out any longer.”
“I know,” You agree, thinking about how crushed Dohyun is going to look once you tell him the truth.
“He’s going to be heartbroken,” Jeongguk adds.
You pout, “I know.”
“But I’m going to be one happy man.”
“I know–wait what?” You almost missed what he said and he just chuckles in response. “Why would you be happy?”
“Cuz then I can ask you out on a date,” Jeongguk says with full confidence, wrapping both arms around your waist and swaying you side to side.
“And you’re so sure I’d say yes?” You ask, eyebrows raised in question.
He narrows his eyes at you playfully and says, “With the way you were about to get on your knees I’d like to think–”
You slap his chest, “God, you’re so annoying! See if I ever give you head now.”
“I’m kidding,” Jeongguk pouts. “You can’t take away that privilege already. You haven’t even done it yet.”
Rolling your eyes at his response, your hand plays with the piercing in his right eyebrow. His hands rest on your lower back casually as if you guys have done this a million times. Jeongguk is definitely a touchy person but not in a way that’s made you uncomfortable of course. You’ve enjoyed the feeling of his hands on your body and you wonder what it would feel like on your bare skin.
You’d definitely like to find that out.
To say that you’re surprised he’s even talking to you would be an understatement. Especially after the day he saw you accepting Dohyun’s little gifts and proposal to dinner. He had left so abruptly much to your disappointment. And even after that, you didn’t even catch wind of him when working around the garden.
You really thought you lost your opportunity with him but his actions and words say otherwise.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Jeongguk’s statement breaks you out of your thoughts.
“What question?”
He raises an eyebrow, “If you’d like to go on a date with me.” He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, staring at them as if he wants to just devour them again but he’s restraining himself.
You didn’t even realize he asked you that question.
With a snort, you say, “Are you seriously going to ask me this in the bathroom while my actual date is waiting for me outside?”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes at you, “I’m sorry would you like me to shower you with flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates? I can also ask Bill, who is playing the violin in the dining room right now, to play you a song while I ask you out.”
This time you roll your eyes at his response, “No need for flowers and expensive as fuck chocolates,” you emphasize his words. “And his name is Bill? He doesn’t even look like a Bill.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling my coworkers. He looks more like a Marvin to me.” Jeongguk says and you nod your head in agreement after a quick thought.
“Tell you what, give me your number first and then I’ll give you a response,” You don’t know where this confidence suddenly came from
“You know you could’ve just asked me for my number if you wanted it so bad,” He laughs and you ignore him, handing him your phone.
“Hush, I need to leave now so hurry up,” You watch as he types in his number, an amused smile pulling at his lips which causes you to narrow your eyes at him.
He hands you back your phone, an innocent smile on his face while you’re looking at him suspiciously. When you glance down at your phone, you understand why he has that look on his face.
The contact name for his number is My super hot gardener <3 <3
Can he get any more annoying?
“Are you kidding me?” You ask him but don’t change the name anyways.
“Not at all, love.” He pulls you forward once more, cupping your face with both hands this time, causing you to look up at him. “Listen, don’t worry about how Dohyun is going to feel, and don’t beat yourself up about it either.” You nod sadly. “You can’t keep leading him on like this. Neither of you deserve that. So just be honest about your feelings towards him.” Jeongguk tilts your head up to look at him. “You have to put yourself first okay?”
You nod understandingly, hands going behind his neck to pull him down for another sweet kiss because you just couldn’t fucking help yourself. The feeling of his lips on yours was just so damn addicting. The way he was gazing at you with those soft doe eyes and the comforting words he provided had your stomach fluttering with butterflies.
Your lips move in sync, arms tightening around one another as if you didn’t want to let each other go. His tongue prods at your lips, asking for entrance which you grant. His tongue slides into your mouth, hands digging into your hips as he fights for dominance with your own tongue. The kiss becomes more and more heated, your hands tangling in his wavy hair once again while you’re pretty sure your lipstick is smeared over both your lips as well as his own.
The sound of your phone vibrating has you pulling back from his lips with a loud POP. Your chest is heaving, slightly out of breath from the intense kiss. Jeongguk runs his thumb across his lip to clean the faint lipstick while you’re opening your purse to see a message from Dohyun.
Dohyun: Hey Y/N, are you okay?”
Great, he must think you’re fighting for your life in the bathroom or something. It’s probably been well over 20 minutes so you can’t blame him.
“I really have to go now.” You tell Jeongguk and he nods understandingly.
“It’s fine,” He grabs a tissue and brings it up to clean beneath your lower lip. “Your lipstick smeared again.” You smile at the gesture in a thankful manner, letting him clean it for you.
He’s going to kill you.
“Remember what I said okay?” He tells you and you nod in response, your throat feeling tight already at the conversation you’ve been dreading the whole night. “And I’ll be nearby in case you need help.” You nod once again, feeling reassured by his words.
“Okay, thanks.” You give him a sweet smile, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek which catches him off guard.
“Yeah…” He clears his throat, “No problem.”
With a small smile, you turn around and walk out the bathroom door not without looking over your shoulder at Jeongguk one last time.
Here goes nothing.
+
“Hey, sorry I took so long,” You apologize to Dohyun, straightening out your dress before sitting back down on the chair.
Dohyun just gives you a sweet, understanding smile in return and says, “It’s okay. Jeongguk hasn’t even come by with the food yet.”
You cough, taking a sip of your water to hide the flush of your cheeks. If only he knew Jeongguk was too busy with his tongue down your throat in the bathroom. The thought of what just went down in the bathroom had your stomach swirling in excitement. You hope the small smile on your face was not too obvious.
“Is everything okay?” Dohyun’s voice is filled with concern.
You’re snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of his question, looking up at him with wide eyes. You need to focus on the fact that you’re on a date with Dohyun right now and that you only have to endure this for a little bit longer before the food comes.
Then you actually have to let Dohyun down politely. Honestly, you don’t even know why you don’t just get it over with right now.
Jeongguk’s words echo in your head, telling you that it’s okay to think about yourself and turn Dohyun down. There’s no reason for you to be stretching this time out even longer. It’ll save him the heartbreak. It’s not like he was wrong. The further you lead Dohyun on, the more hurt he’ll be in the end when he finds out you do not reciprocate mutual feelings.
You also can’t forget the soft look in Jeongguk’s eyes. It was a look that you’d never seen on his face before and one that you didn’t think he was capable of showing considering his intimidating aura. But if there’s one thing you learned, it’s that Jeongguk is far from intimidating underneath all those piercings, ink, and black clothes.
God, you just wanted this date to be over so you can tell Jeongguk to fuck off his shift for the night and go somewhere so the two of you can spend some time together.
“Uh yeah, I’m okay,” You take a sip of your wine this time. “I’m fine. It’s just a little hot in here.” You’re praying he buys that excuse for your flushed face. You exaggerate it by fanning yourself with the menu listed with the different alcoholic beverages.
“Oh no,” Dohyun looks worried. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” He asks seriously.
“No no,” You wave off. “I’ll be okay. Thank you though.” You reassure him with a small smile. You are not about to drag this night out any longer.
Dohyun nods though he looks a bit unconvinced. You fiddle with your fingers, unsure of what else to say. The silence between the two of you is awkward. You’re staring down into your lap while Dohyun opens and closes his mouth as if he wants to say something but holds himself back.
“So Y/N,” You look up at Dohyun. “You probably already have an idea why I asked you out to dinner.” You try not to make it obvious when your eyes become a little wider, your heart dropping in your chest. “I mean..” He chuckles a bit, scratching the back of his neck. “We’ve known each other for so long. I remember watching you as a kid, thinking you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” You try to smile but you think it looks more like a grimace.
“I remember when one of the kids your mom would set you up with for playdates was being so mean to me but you just…came to the rescue and told them to leave me alone.” The memory was quite vivid to you only because ever since that day, you noticed how Dohyun would start bringing you small gifts like a flower from the garden or pieces of candy. “That’s when I knew I started to develop feelings for you.”
And there it is. The expression on his face is filled with admiration and love as he stares at you intently, pouring his heart out to you and confessing his feelings. Something you’ve always feared because you knew that by the end of this, he was going to leave with a broken heart. You let yourself get way too far and led him to this point. Now it’s your job to end it.
“I just really want to tell you that I’ve always loved–”
Dohyun gets interrupted when Jeongguk arrives with a tray carrying your entrees. “Alright you guys, the food is here.” Dohyun’s face drops, falling silent at the interruption while you’re filled with relief, exhaling out a breath. You look up at Jeongguk only to catch him already looking at you, giving you a small wink that Dohyun isn’t able to see.
“Filet mignon for you,” Jeongguk sets down the plate in front of Dohyun who thanks him in response with a polite smile. “And risotto for the pretty lady,” Jeongguk emphasizes pretty and you bite your lip to hide the smile that threatens to form on your face.
“Thank you, Jeongguk,” Your foot brushes against his ankle purposely when you uncross your legs and he just looks at you with a certain glint in his eyes, a pierced eyebrow raised at the gesture.
“No problem,” He clears his throat, breaking eye contact so it doesn’t look so obvious to Dohyun. “Is there anything else you guys need?”
Dohyun looks at you in question and you shake your head as a no in response. He then looks back up at Jeongguk and gives him a grateful smile, “No, we’re good. Thanks, man.”
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be back to check on you guys,” He informed you and it sounded like he was mostly talking to you from the way he looks at you, eyes lingering before leaves. He needs to stop making it so damn obvious.
“So…” Dohyun is about to start talking but you interrupt him.
“Let’s eat, I’m starving,” You immediately pick up the fork and dig into the feed even though you had no appetite to consume food. If anything, you felt nauseous. You’re dreading the conversation that you’re about to have.
“Wow,” Dohyun’s eyes are wide as he chews his food. “This steak is amazing.” He gushes, cutting into the meat with his knife and fork before holding it in your direction. “You need to try this.”
You shake your head, “Oh no, I’m okay. Thank you though.” You politely decline and give him a grateful smile.
“No seriously,” He responds. “You have to try this.” He seems persistent, wiggling his fork towards you with a bite of the tender-looking steak. You gulp, noticing how he’s leaning forward in anticipation with an eager look in his eyes. You’re about to lean forward, lips parted to take a bite but Jeongguk being the savior he is–God, you can just kiss him–comes back.
“You guys look like you’re running low on wine so I brought some more,” Jeongguk chirps, moving Dohyun’s arm back so he can pour into the glass. You bite down on your lower lip to keep yourself from smiling widely, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes with a thankful expression. You opt to stare at his beautiful inked hands pouring into the wine glass as you try not to make it obvious when your hand secretly strokes his thigh. You hold back a laugh when you notice him slightly flinch out of surprise, jaw clenching, and eyes narrowed when he glances at you.
You feign a look of innocence and say, “Thank you for the wine.” You’re grateful that the table is high enough that Dohyun can’t see how Jeongguk takes his left hand while the right is still holding the bottle and squeezes your hand.
Jeongguk clears his throat,
“Thanks, Jeongguk,” Dohyun gives him an appreciative smile, “I was just trying to get Y/N to try the filet mignon.”
“Oh yes,” Jeongguk says, attempting to sound professional and you bite back a laugh, “Many customers rave over the filet mignon. The cows were fed organic grass which is one of the reasons why it’s so delectable.”
Organic grass? What the fuck is he even saying?
You know damn well he’s trying to be funny but the way he said it with a straight face would make one think he’s serious. For example, Dohyun looked utterly fascinated by the thought.
“Wow, are they really?”
Jeongguk snorts but quickly covers it with a cough, “Yeah man. Don’t you know? Those cows are living their best life. Better than you and I,” Jeongguk takes the fork out of Dohyun’s hand and the other boy just stares at him, eyes wide in curiosity. He grabs the piece of steak that was originally meant for you and slides the bite into his mouth before giving Dohyun the fork back. Jeongguk scrunches up his face in delight, almost looking angry as he chews before he lets out a sigh and looks back at Dohyun. “Dare I say the cows are living a better life than Y/N too.”
You cover your face, unable to hold back your giggles while Dohyun just looks confused now. Jeongguk has a small smile on his face as he glances at you, feeling accomplished for making you laugh so cutely.
“I have to ask my uncle about this if it’s true,” Dohyun shakes his head, expression full of surprise as he looks deep in thought. “He owns a farm so maybe he can start doing that too.”
Jeongguk looks like he’s trying not to burst out laughing this time but instead nods, “Yeah let me know what he says, man.”
“Jeongguk, Suho is calling you to the back,” A waiter whispers into his ear, “Like now.”
“Now?” Jeongguk asks and the other waiter nods. He looks back at you and sees you swallow nervously. This means Jeongguk can no longer save you from delaying this any further. It’s either now or never.
You look back at Jeongguk and give him a reassuring nod in a subtle manner to tell him it’s okay if he leaves. He glances over at Dohyun, noticing how the other boy is tapping his foot impatiently beneath the table as if waiting for Jeongguk to leave so he can pick up where he left off.
“Alright,” Jeongguk clears his throat, “Looks like I’m needed in the back. Are you guys good?” He asks, mostly directing the question at you based on the direct eye contact he makes, eyebrow raised.
You give him an appreciative smile, “I’m good. Thank you, Jeongguk.”
“Me too. Thanks, Jeongguk!” Dohyun says a slight eagerness following his tone.
“Okay cool, be right back.” He tells you, sending you a small comforting smile. You let out a deep breath, looking over at Dohyun who’s already staring at you with a nervous expression on his face.
“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been meaning to tell you for so long but…” Dohyun twiddles with his fingers resting on top of the table. “I would just get so nervous and chicken out,” He chuckles at himself with a shake of his head. “I’ve always admired you and your kindness. Your kindness is what drew me to you more than anything. Comforting people when they’re upset and going out of your way to make them feel better.” Your lips turn up into a small smile at his words but your chest aches out of guilt with what you’re about to do. “Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that…I uh really really like you. I’ve liked you since we were kids. Maybe even love.” Dohyun lets out a quivering laugh, avoiding eye contact. “I was wondering if you’d give me a chance.”
Your throat feels like it’s closing up as you hear his words, processing them clearly. The feeling of your heart pounding against your chest and beating in your ears, your face feeling warm and flushed. You look down at your hands in your lap, playing with the ring on your index finger as you let out a shaky breath through your lips.
“Dohyun…you’ve always been a sweet guy,” You begin, “So selfless and always thinking of others.” You add and he nods, a smile playing on his lips from your compliment. “But I…I’m sorry,” You feel your eyes stinging as you notice the smile vanish from his face, lips pursing in despair. “I don’t see you that way.” You finally say.
His face crumples a bit, shoulders and head dropping as soon as the words leave your lips. He looks down into his lap and you swear you can hear him sniffling a bit. The silence between you two is almost deafening, the sound of other customers and cutlery being the only thing you hear.
“I’m really sorry,” You say again, eyes welling up a bit because of how bad you feel. “I probably shouldn’t have even said yes to you because it seems like I’ve led you on but I just didn’t know how to tell you no.”
Dohyun just nods in response, not moving a single inch from his position and his lack of words is killing you. You notice Jeongguk peeking at you from behind the door, locking eyes with you. He immediately notices the sorrowful look on your face, stepping forward to approach you but you quickly shake your head.
Not yet, you try to tell him. You think this conversation needs to end with closure. You don’t want to leave without making sure he’s okay. You know he’s not okay and he probably won’t be for some time. He’s had feelings for you for so long, he must feel so crushed by your rejection.
When Dohyun finally lifts his head up to look at you, you feel your chest ache at his red-rimmed eyes and quivering lips. “Y-You won’t even give me a chance? Like… not even if I take you on more dates a-and maybe let you get to know me better?” He wipes his nose with the back of his hand, sniffling.
You shake your head, a sad smile on your lips. “I’m sorry…I just,” You look over at Jeongguk who’s talking to another customer while constantly glancing at you in concern. “I like someone else.” You tell him, feeling like absolute shit. You just didn’t know what else you could’ve told him for him to completely let you go. You had to tell him the truth.
His face shows pure anguish, looking completely defeated. “So I-I don’t stand a chance against him?” He asks, voice hoarse.
“I’m sorry,” is the only thing you think you can say in response to that.
He just nods, head hanging low and lets out a quiet. “Okay.”
“Everything good?” Jeongguk decides to cut in, saving you from this painful moment.
Dohyun just looks up and Jeongguk in response and nods solemnly, “Yeah can we get the check please?”
“Uh yeah sure,” Jeongguk responds. “Boxes?”
“No thanks,” Dohyun immediately says, his voice cracking. “Y/N,” He looks at you properly for the first time. “Do you think I can get a r-ride home? I-I just don’t think I can…” He looks like he’s about to have a breakdown so you immediately cut in.
“It’s okay. Don’t even worry about it.” Your voice is soft, feeling like you need to speak to him in a delicate manner because he may break any second. “I’ll call my driver.”
“Okay,” Dohyun nods. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you on Monday.” He says quickly before getting up swiftly. There’s a fresh set of tears in his eyes and he nods at Jeongguk. Head hanging low with his feet dragging across the floor, he walks towards the door without looking back.
You stare at the door, never feeling this much guilt and regret in your life. Guilt for turning him down but also regret even accepting this date. You think saying yes to the date probably gave him high hopes that you had feelings for him in return. You should’ve come clean at the pool when he asked you out in the first place.
“Oh god,” You cover your face with both hands. “I feel so awful. I feel so fucking awful. I can’t believe he cried.” Your throat feels tight and painful, unable to get the image of your head.
“Hey hey,” Jeongguk looks around before kneeling beside you, hand on your arm, “It’s okay. You had to do it okay?” You nod but don’t move your hands away from your face.
“I know I just can’t forget the look on his face,” You whisper into your hands. “I just feel so bad.”
“I know Y/N. That wasn’t an easy thing to do,” Jeongguk acknowledges, rubbing his hand up and down your back in a comforting manner.
Not only do you feel like a total asshole right now, you’re a little embarrassed at the fact that Jeongguk is seeing you on the verge of bursting into tears but you cannot help yourself.
“Hey listen,” His voice is gentle and you feel him move closer to you, his chest pressing against your knee. “A lot of these people are looking at us and I don’t know if they know who you are but I don’t want it spreading around that you were crying in this boujee ass restaurant in the headlines tomorrow.” You chuckle a little taking the napkin he’s holding out for you, patting it beneath your eyes.
“Thank you,” You say quietly, unable to look him in the eyes.
“Of course,” He clears his throat. “I’m about to finish my shift soon. Um if you want, I can give you a ride home?” He offers before quickly adding. “Only if you want to. I won’t be offended if you just want your driver to pick you up.”
You finally look at him for the first time, taking slightly widened doe eyes, face looking soft. He’s tugging at the piercing on his lower lip, a nervous habit you’ve noticed from the time you’ve spent with him.
“I would really appreciate that,” You inform him with a grateful smile.
His shoulders visibly relax at your answer, a sigh escaping his lips.
“Thank God you said that,” He pretends to wipe the sweat off his forehead, “I don’t think I was ready to handle the rejection.” He tells you and you feel like there’s some underlying truth to that.
“The dude I’m crushing on is offering me a ride, who am I to say no?” You say bravely and he freezes, eyes wide and full of surprise with how you say that without a single stutter.
“D-Dude you’re crushing on me?” He repeats, bringing his hand up to point his index finger at him. “Am I the dude you’re crushing on?” He asks in disbelief.
You give him an ‘Are you joking’ look, pushing at his shoulder. “Who else is offering me a ride home here?” You ask him.
“I’m sure tons of people would. You’re beautiful.” He says easily and you flush, not expecting that response at all.
“Oh,” You look down at your lap with a smile on your lips. Feeling so flustered by his compliment, you change the subject. “Is it wrong to do all this after I just broke someone’s heart?” You ask him.
Jeongguk shakes his head, “No, you did what you had to do, Y/N.” You nod, a slightly guilty expression appearing on your face once again. “Here,” He pulls out what looks like car keys from his back pocket. “Do you want to wait in my car while I finish up here?”
You nod, grabbing the keys from him with a smile, “I’ll wait.” You grab your purse, pulling the strap onto your shoulder. Jeongguk also stands up from his kneeling position, brushing his black pants.
Once you stand up, you have to peer up to look at him. Even with your heels on you, you’re still barely reaching his damn shoulder.
Are you really that short or is he just super tall?
“By the way,” You start, causing him to immediately pause from picking up the plate and giving you his full attention with the way he turns his body to look at you, eyes meeting yours. For some reason that makes your heart flutter. “Can you charge the dinner on my card?” You open your purse to pull out your tiny card holder. “It’s the least I can do for Dohyun.” You add, handing him the card.
Jeongguk looks down at the card in his hand as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen, eyes squinting before widening. He holds the card up to the light as if inspecting it before bringing it back down and closer to his face again.
“Um, is everything okay?” You ask in confusion.
“Did you just hand me a black card?” His voice is full of surprise, mouth slightly ajar.
“Yeah…” You trail off, looking down at your feet.
Great, he must think you’re a spoiled brat.
“Do you know the amount of unnecessary and useless shit I would buy if I had one of these?” He holds the card in his fingers as if it’s fine china.
“I mean you can,” You respond and he just looks at you in disbelief.
“Baby you’re too sweet but I never thought about getting sugar mama.” He smirks before adding, “At least not anymore.” Your heart flutters and you try not to squeal at the fact that he casually called you ‘baby’.
This man is trying to kill you.
You pretend to act unbothered by his words with a roll of your eyes, shoving at his shoulder, “Shut up before I make you pay for this dinner.” You threaten and he immediately closes his mouth, turning towards the table. You laugh in response, shaking your head at him.
“I’ll be out in 10 minutes,” He tells you and you nod, a smile on your face as you step towards the door already feeling a lot better just by talking to him.
#jungkook fanfic#bts scenarios#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#bts writing#jungkook#jungkook fluff#my writing#jungkook fic rec#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook scenarios#tattooed jungkook#bts fic recs#bts angst#jungkook imagines#kpop imagines#kpop fanfiction#jungkook series
409 notes
·
View notes
Note
I have a request for a drabble or headcannon style thing, whatever you prefer. Where spencer and reader are very close (friends or dating you can decide) and he makes a fatal mistake on the job that gets reader killed 😳 if that is something you will do 🥰 thank you
(Long) Drabble: Doubt Comes in
Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!reader
A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! Normally I don’t like sad endings lol BUT this request gave me the motivation to write something with this idea I’ve had. I almost made it a full one shot but didn't know how. (if you like Orpheus and Eurydice, see if you can catch the hadestown references)
Warnings!: Sad ending/ANGST, Murder, death of a loved one, mentions of kidnapping, anxiety and questioning reality
Its kinda long for a drabble but not long enough where I would call it a one-shot, i got carried away but hope ya'll like it!
The team was working on a case with an unsub that was targeting couples. The team didn’t realize that the unsub had been stalking them since they arrived. He quickly learned of your relationship with spencer.
You were leaving the precinct to follow up with a victim's family member when the unsub had snuck up on you. After you went missing the team went into a frenzy and tracked your location to an abandoned warehouse.
When they arrived on the scene they had the unsub on the phone. He claimed that you were safe and unharmed.
He said you were free to go but only one member of the team could go get you. He demanded they send in her boyfriend.
Hotch was hesitant to send Spencer in. He was in shambles ever since you went missing that afternoon. His mind was scattered, he couldn’t think of anything but you.
They figured while this was exactly what the unsub wanted, it was their best chance to get you out safe.
Spencer was handed the phone and headed towards the warehouse. The building was dimly lit, it was so dark he could barely see 5 feet in front of him. The place was filled with storage and pallet rack shelves turning it into a maze.
As he made his way through the building the unsub would give him directions if he strayed too far from the path. It was like the unsub had eyes everywhere, he must’ve either had cameras or was positioned on a hidden upper level.
While Spencer was walking the unsub would taunt him through the phone. Asking questions about your relationship.
It made him sick. He never said anything to the man on the other end of the line; didn’t want to give the unsub the satisfaction of knowing he was in shambles.
It felt like he had been walking for forever when he finally reached you. You were curled up in a corner of a dead end. When you saw him you jumped up and landed in his arms. He felt you trembling against him and it made his heart crack.
“You said you would let her go if I came to get her,” he spoke into the phone with a shaky voice.
“And I intend to keep my promise. You both are free to go. Except, she must walk behind you. You cannot not turn around under any circumstance until you both are out of the building.”
“What will happen if I do?”
“Let’s just say you’re wearing a kevlar vest and she’s not. If you turn around, speak, or hang up the phone, I shoot.” Spencer's stomach dropped. “And don’t even think about being a hero and giving her your vest.”
“That's all we have to do? And we can go?” You asked, voice horse from not speaking in hours.
The voice on the phone spoke again. “You’d be surprised how many men can not resist the temptation. The worst temptation you’ll ever meet, the one that lines between your ears and behind your eyes.”
It seemed like a simple enough task. To walk out of the building. Spencer trusted you to be there and you trusted him to keep his eyes ahead.
He placed a hand on your cheek. “I promise I-“
“I know. I love you,” You interrupted.
“I love you,” he spoke softly before leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. The kiss was desperate, like he was trying to savor every last bit.
You both separated from the kiss and started your journey through the warehouse. This time the unsub wasn’t giving him directions to find his way back. At first he didn’t need them, with his eidetic memory he could recall the pathway he took.
But as he kept walking the anxiety started to eat away at him. The darkness was messing with his eyes and the silence was deafening. He started to make wrong turns, forgetting which path to take and doubting himself. Either he was getting lost or the building was getting longer.
The only thing that brought him comfort was the sound of your footsteps behind him. Or was that his footsteps? He didn’t know anymore.
It felt like his senses were working against him. He already felt like an idiot with his mind not being able to think straight due to your disappearance. But now your life was in his hands and they’ve been trembling since he walked in.
The logical part of his brain told him there would be no reason for you to not be behind him. But the anxiety running around in his head was questioning if you had ever been there at all. Or why would he let him win? Why would he let her go?
He had thoughts pounding in his mind of “Is this a trap that's been laid for me? Is this a trick that's been played on me?”
After what felt like a lifetime he made it to the front door. His footsteps picked up and he grasped at the handle to feverishly push the door open.
Spencer walked outside as a wave of relief washed over him. They finally made it.
He turned to face you as the corners of his mouth perked up. He met your eyes, shining with glee that you made it out safe.
Then it got loud. He heard gunshots vibrating against his eardrums. Your eyes went wide as saucers. You grasped at your abdomen before you crashed into Spencer.
How could this happen? They made it out. He said he would let them go. And Then Spencer saw it.
You hadn’t made it out yet.
He turned to look at you before you crossed. You both didn’t make it out. You got hurt, and it was his fault.
He held you close to him. The surrounding sounds all blended together. Morgans screams for a medic, the officers breaking into the building. That all fell on deaf ears.
It seemed as though his whole life fell apart when he saw you mouth his name as the light disappeared from your eyes.
Your life was in his hands, and he let you slip away.
“Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?”
― Ovid, Metamorphoses
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wait So Long
Summary: You are trying to surprise your boyfriend and it does not work out like you had planned.
Pairing: modern Aegon Targaryen x FemaleReader
Word Count: 2279
Warnings: Implied sexy times, but this is purely fluff.
Author’s Note: Here is another part of my series-that-isn’t-really-a-series. This is a collaboration piece I did with the darling, talented @f4ll-for-you ♥ Her work is amazing and I cannot thank her enough for her help with this piece! And a shoutout to my amazing beta reader @foxee-d-or.
Taglist (my Tumblr kindred spirits): @aaaaaamond @sirenofavalon @annikin-im-panicin @watercolorskyy @schniiipsel @aspen-carter @aemondx @fan-goddess @babygirlyofthevale @randomdragonfires
“Yeah, I know, Cree, but I keep telling you and Jace that I fucking suck at this game,” you heard Aegon whine into his headset, animated with his hands and wielding the controller as an emphasis to his words. “And, yet, I still play with you all, only to be verbally abused by you cunts-” his eyes rolled over and he saw you.
One of the many things you cherished about your relationship with this man was his ability to read you like a book, to such a degree he seemed more aware of the emotion you were feeling before it registered with yourself. Aegon moved in a fluid motion, beginning with the words, “Hey, I’ve got to go right now,” before he tore off and abandoned both the headset and controller on the couch; he pushed from his seat and moved towards you, his brow furrowed with concern.
Then you felt it, the tears that spilled from the corners of your eyes and bunching your lashes together. You did not know when it started, perhaps the frustration that had been building since you first took on this contract role, something you have been adamant about six weeks prior.
In the beginning, you saw his hesitation, but you coaxed him into believing it was a good idea, and in theory it had been. You promised him this job would allow you to polish your portfolio and you promised to quit that customer service role you currently worked. You explained your excitement to finally do something with your damn degree and how you could use the extra money to upgrade your equipment.
“I can buy you new equipment, though,” he had argued and you vehemently refused, continuing on about your independence, how this was your career, your passion.
And he listened to your every word, watching you in a way that was so uniquely him and you loved him for it: the slight tilt of his head, how his lips pursed together when he was not quite yet convinced, how his lavender eyes moved back and forth with your presentation.
“Only four weeks?” was all he had asked when you were done. You swore yes.
Now you were on to your seventh week, dealing with a client who was unhappy with everything you presented, with their ceaseless revisions that kept prolonging the contract; yes, the pay was nice, but you were unsure if it was worth your sanity.
In truth, you did want to utilize your degree and this opportunity would allow you to be rid of the customer service role you had since uni, to finally transition to remote work life. You also had an ulterior motive: a gift for Aegon.
He had always spoiled you and you loved him for it, but you were also frustrated that any gift you managed seemed to pale in comparison. “Babe,” he laughed the one time you tried to bring it up to him, “I’m a fucking trust fund baby. Just allow me to pay it forward, since you have already done so much for me as it is!”
This only made you all the more determined to contribute, as meager as your income seemed prior to this contract, but Aegon never breathed a word of complaint, other than he hated you being away from the apartment you shared.
It was the selling point. “If I take this, I will quit that job,” your tone honeyed and your eyes doleful. “This way I can work at home and be with you.”
But also, you desperately wanted to buy him a dog.
The idea came from his friends, Jace and Cregan, when you had a moment alone to press them for an anniversary gift for Aegon. They hemmed over their words and finally Jace mentioned getting him a dog and Cregan nodded enthusiastically.
“He sends us clips all the time,” he continued. “Specifically a golden retriever.”
You squealed your excitement at the possibility to outshine your boyfriend gift wise. “This is perfect! There is no way he can top that!”
They had exchanged looks, but said nothing.
Fate presented itself with a text from Cregan, letting you know his half-sister’s dog was pregnant from a dog park mishap, which also happened to be the same dog that began Aegon’s fixation on them. You texted Sara immediately and she offered your pick of the litter, letting you know her dog was about five weeks along.
It felt like everything was falling into place: the contract job would finish a week after, you could take Aegon to choose his pup, then go to Cregan and Jace’s apartment to collect the pet paraphernalia you had been hoarding there.
There was a moment when Cregan stopped by to grab the royal purple collar and leash, that Aegon happened to return home sooner than you planned.
Your relationship had a rocky beginning, but through his rehabilitation came an unwavering trust between you both. You considered yourself lucky to have Aegon as your boyfriend in that regard; there was no hint of jealousy when he found Cregan at the apartment, but his confusion was apparent when he saw him holding the leash and collar.
“I was showing her the collar,” his friend stammered. “I bought it for this…girl I am dating-uh, fucking,” Cregan had a white knuckled grip and you watched Aegon for his response.
“Uh,” he narrowed his eyes on him for a moment. “That’s good for you?”
Cregan was quick to leave.
Sara let you know the puppies had been born but that was four weeks ago and you were three weeks extended into this contract with the most unpleasable, nit-picking cunt clients. You wanted it to end; you had already sneaked away to pay the pet deposit and all that was left was to bring Aegon to be surprised by the litter, but instead you received your umpteenth email of revisions needed and it would damn you to another week of this never ending misery.
At first, you felt confident when you accepted this contract; you always had a knack to gauge colors, pigmentation, and you were software savvy to pick up on whatever the client was using. The interview left you feeling like they would value your expertise, but instead the weeks whittled away at your self-confidence, having you second guess your every attempt to begin this damnable career.
You thought to quit it all and just accept being spoiled by Aegon.
“Hey, pretty,” you heard Aegon coo and it returned your attention to the kitchen. He was rounding the counter and moving towards your spot; you worked here because the lighting was what you wanted and you appreciated how it overlooked the living room, where the curtains were drawn and allowed whatever sunshine was available to pour in.
Aegon would crash onto the couch when he knew you were at the end of your workday and you liked looking up from your laptop screen, exchanging glances with him.
“What’s going on?”
His arm wrapped around your shoulder and you allowed your head to fall to his chest; silent sobs of your budding frustration wracked your body. You felt him tuck you under his chin, wrapping both arms around you, with the whisper of, “Come on, sweet girl, I know you need to cry, but remember to breathe…”
The tears eventually subsided and he pulled you from the counter, bringing you back to the couch. He pulled you into his lap and held onto you still, while he hummed one of the many songs he seemed to have on repeat in his mind; his singing, his musical talent was a newer habit he discovered during his rehabilitation and was something you adored, along with his sobriety.
When he finished his chorus, you pulled back from his chest and he reached to grab your chin, turning your head to meet with his eyes.
“Quit the fucking contract,” he repeated, time and time again. “I will pay you whatever they will pay you and you can stay right here in my lap, but, you know, without the tears. Perhaps lingerie instead? It would be purely professional, of course.”
Your laughter felt groggy from your tears and he moved his large, warm palm to wipe your face dry. “Aeg,” your voice cracked, but you could not help your smile. “I’m gross.”
“Yes, you are,” he agreed with a smirk, wiping his hand dry on his jeans and moving to your other cheek. “Quit these cunts, they do not deserve you.”
“But…” and you faltered for a moment, realizing it was best to come clean with your true intention with the job. “But I also wanted this because I have a surprise for you.”
He groaned, falling back into the couch and pulling you against his chest. “How many times must I tell you that I already have everything I want,” and he wrapped his arms tight around your waist, nuzzling into your neck. “Must you make me repeat the cliches? That your presence in my life is present enough? That you, pretty girl, are my gift?”
You giggled and squirmed from his hold, the stubble on his jawline tickling your neck. You pulled back to look into his beautiful eyes and his wide cheesy grin on display. “I know, but I wanted to something more, give you something you really want-”
“I am dead serious about my contract opening,” he dead-panned. “About the pay and the underwear.”
You looked at him, his smile so contagious, and leaned forward to capture his lips with your own. His fingers combed through your hair, holding the back of your head; his lips felt warm and soft against your own, his beard growth tickling still. You giggled and he moved to rub his face against your neck again, goosebumps rippling over you.
“But what about a puppy?”
He stopped his movement and pulled back to take you in. “That was the gift?” The excitement bubbled in his voice, his eyes bright as they looked over you. “You were really going to get me a puppy?”
You nodded, smiling from his reaction. “Sara’s dog had a litter and I already paid all the fees, I have been getting the supplies, then we would go and pick you out a new furry friend…”
His hands cupped your face and he pressed a kiss to your hairline, then tilted your head back to find your lips again; you melted against his chest. “This is why you have been working this shit job?” He pulled away, his tone accusing. “I have been absolutely heartsore watching you slave away for these ungrateful swines who cannot tell the difference between azure or cerulean-”
“...you couldn’t either when we first started dating,” you remind him with a grin.
He held up a finger. “True, but if I hired a brilliant graphic designer, I would listen to your expertise and learn.” You blush and he sighed, pulling you against his chest for another hug and it was your turn to sigh, loving how well you fit against him.
There was a moment of silence and he continued. “A dog is a big responsibility and I would need your help,” he leaned forward and pressed his lips against your neck. “I am also not a fan of the stress they have been causing you, your anxiety has been in overdrive since this contract keeps being extended…”
You sighed again and he shifted his legs, catching your chin to bring your eyes to meet with his own. “I know you want this for your career and I will support whatever you choose,” he began, his eyes wide and watchful, the hint of a smirk to his lips. “I feel I must repeat myself and let you know I will happily fund you to be my perfect girl.”
You cannot help but roll your eyes, but giggled knowing that he would actually pay you to be a homebody, if it meant he got to be around you all the time.
The evening was spent with your laptop off, your notifications muted, and cuddled up with Aegon while watching some TV show you had been binging together. There is comfort being curled up, a pleasant warmth shared that inevitably lulls Aegon to sleep and you listen to his soft snores.
You were careful to pull away, creeping towards your laptop and reading the emails missed; not one included a thank you for your effort shown thus far, or any indication that your supposed contract would be over any time soon. Rubbing your eyes as if it would wipe away your frustration, you decided you had enough, that there were other jobs, other opportunities, and you didn’t deserve to be treated like this.
After pressing send on your resignation email, you slammed your laptop shut and felt a mixture of relief and worry wash over you. The sound caused Aegon to stir, his sleepy eyes barely open. “Babe?” he sounded confused, almost delirious.
“After careful consideration I have decided to accept your offer,” you joked, doing your best to mark the worry that brimmed beneath.
Aegon smiles, your words registering and waking him up. “Wonderful,” he breathed, pulling you in and sprinkling kisses over your face. “We start tomorrow with picking up our puppy,” and he giggled in a way that made your heart swell in your chest. “Then, we have to pick out a uniform…”
You giggled and grinned with how he suggestively wiggled his eyebrows, feeling a sense of relief washing over you and letting you know that you made the right decision; you could trust that, together, you would figure it out.
Arcie’s Masterlist // modern Aegon Targaryen masterlist
#mordern au hotd#aegon targaryen#aegon ii fanfic#aegon ii fanfiction#aegon ii x you#aegon ii x reader#this is just fluff#modern aegon targaryen
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
Intern Watch 2k24
(aka posting a first draft snippet of my killugon and leopika The Office AU in the vain hope that it’ll motivate me to finish it)
The office had gotten three interns for the summer. This in and of itself shouldn’t have been notable, but watching the interns had devolved into something of a spectator sport, and Kurapika was not above participating.
It hadn’t started out this way. Kurapika worked in accounting, so he didn’t have much interaction with the interns initially. The first time they spoke, he’d been working on something requiring a great deal of concentration when he heard the distinct sound of someone delivering a sharp, swift kick to the photocopier.
“Come on!”
“Don’t break the copier, Killua!” Gon whispered.
“It’s an ancient piece of junk anyway,” Killua muttered. “Hey, pull up a video on YouTube if you’re not going to help.”
“What kind of video?”
And Kurapika couldn’t help but sigh right along with Killua as he stared at his fellow intern in disbelief.
“How to use a fax machine, genius.”
“Ohhh,” said Gon. “That’s a good idea.”
Eventually Kurapika lost his patience and abandoned his task entirely to show them how.
“That’s dumb,” said Killua. “Why not just send a pdf?”
“I don’t know, just send the fax,” he replied. “And please, do try to keep it down.”
“We will!” Gon called over his shoulder loudly, already trailing after Killua who’d walked away while Kurapika was mid-sentence.
Their third intern was a boy named Zushi, who Kurapika quite liked and was so polite and respectful that he nearly made up for the other two.
Nearly.
“That Zoldyck kid is a menace,” Leorio grumbled to him about a week later. Kurapika had taken to spending his lunch breaks outside on the bench between their office building and the walk in clinic, and more often than not, he ended up sharing the space with Leorio, one of the doctors who worked there.
He looked up from his pasta salad in surprise.
“You’ve met our intern?”
Leorio snorted. “Oh yeah, we’ve met. Multiple times.” He stretched out on the bench and Kurapika found that he didn’t mind when their shoulders brushed for the briefest of moments. Leorio went on, oblivious to the entire thing. “Stupid kids, the both of them. Came into the clinic right when we were about to close because someone watched a parkour compilation and decided to jump off the roof of the building and into some boxes three stories down.”
Kurapika had abandoned his lunch entirely, leaning in with open interest. “And this was Killua?”
“No! It was his batshit crazy friend, the one with the spiky hair, but it might as well have been with the way they were both carrying on. Zoldyck had him hoisted up on his back, and the entire time he’s demanding we shut everything down so that multiple doctors can tend to his friend— meanwhile the kid just has a sprained ankle.”
“Gon’s crutches,” Kurapika murmured absently, connecting the dots.
“Oh right,” said Leorio. “Gon. I’ve been calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2 in my head. Nice kid on his own, but Christ, what a mess. You would’ve thought he’d been shot with the way Zoldyck was losing his mind. Both of them in my office arguing over whose fault it was that he got hurt, and now I have to put in another order for cotton balls because Gon ate so many.”
“Wait, what?”
“Oh yeah, I didn’t mention that part, huh?”
Kurapika shook his head emphatically, knowing he was wasting his lunch on nonsense and needing to know the answer anyway.
“Yeah, so they’re both arguing over how it’s their own fault it happened, Freecss is trying to say it’s on him because it was his idea to go onto the roof, Zoldyck’s nearly in tears because he came up with the addition of jumping onto the refrigeration boxes; I stepped out of the room to get some crutches— and let’s be real,” Leorio grinned, “to give them some privacy. When I got back, the little shit was eating my goddamn cotton balls!”
“I’m not sure I’m following,” Kurapika admitted. “Why did Gon eat the cotton balls?”
“To make Killua laugh,” Leorio said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “The kid was so upset, convinced he’d gotten the other one nearly killed— and if I’m being honest, with the amount of times I’ve seen them for stupid shit over the past few weeks…” He trailed off, scrubbing a large hand over his face with a groan. “If they were regular people they’d probably both be dead, but the two of them are weirdly indestructible, so it wasn’t a big deal, except now I’m out like half a jar of cotton balls.”
Kurapika blinked. “Are you certain he ate them? That seems...“
“Yes, Kurapika, I’m certain he ate them. I walked back in time to hear, ‘Killua, Killua, don’t be sad! Look how many of these I can fit in my mouth!’ And then the little fucker swallowed them when I tried to stop him.”
“Oh,” said Kurapika. “That’s…that does sound like them,” he sighed.
He didn’t give the interns much thought after that because Leorio wanted to know if Kurapika would like to get dinner sometime, and his brain promptly short circuited at the thought of going out with the hot doctor from next door.
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
AI BS because WTF guys
So like, I know I have a lot of WIP out there. A lot of fic I haven’t updated in a long time but have no plans of abandoning because I love all of my writing and I do have plans for all of my works. It’s just finding motivation that’s the issue, not the intent to finish them.
If I’d planned to never work on something again, I’d do what most people do these days and label it as Abandoned. Hell, if I hated it and decided to axe it completely, I’d just remove it.
There are plenty of fic I follow that haven’t been update in a long time - some over a decade, and that’s fine - and I love to reread and daydream about potential endings. A fun way to pass the time, because I can come up with the endings or continuations in my own way even if they never get finished.
I don’t, however, contemplate stealing them.
There are authors that I follow that have abandoned some of my fav of their works or left fandoms entirely, and that’s fine. I have never once thought while rereading a fic I know will never be continued “hey, what if I steal this and feed it into a capitalist machine for my own amusement?” because that’s not what decent people do. We don’t steal from people, even if they aren’t doing things in the fandoms or fic that we love, because why the fuck would we.
Who the fuck does that? No writer would thank you for it, and there is no doubt that you would know it’s wrong to take someone’s work like that.
Fandom isn’t perfect, but I want to think that the vast majority aren’t the kind of people who are so selfish and uncaring as this.
I haven’t removed Tsundoku from ffnet despite the many issues I have with the site, even though I haven’t updated it in an age, because someone who uses a text to voice app that works with ffnet better than Ao3 asked me not to. I could have done so despite the toxicity that I’ve known with the fandom on that site, but for someone else’s comfort I’ve left it up.
I haven’t stopped writing despite some truly unpleasant people trying to start shit in comments for their own petty, small minded amusement, even on Ao3. Where it is infinitely better than on ffnet, in my personal experience. I haven’t stopped updating and haven’t removed my works from the web even though trolls and shit stirrers exist.
But if I find out that someone has stolen my fics - no matter how long it’s been since I updated them - and fed them to a fucking AI of any kind, I will remove all my works and never post a goddamn thing again. I changed my settings on Ao3 to users only to potentially avoid the chance of being mined by some AI bullshit, and if I’m betrayed by even the fellow users of Ao3, I’ll just quit. I won’t like it, but I’ll fucking do it.
What else can I do? At that point? Where even real, live people in fandom just... steal from me to go expressly against my wishes? Who don’t respect my time, effort and creativity?
What would be the point of writing if someone doesn’t appreciate the time, effort and goddamn passion I’ve put into my works? Because feeding fic into an AI to get “an ending” - so fucking insulting - says that you don’t respect the authors writing and you don’t respect them as people. I’m sure there are some people - I can’t picture it, but I’m sure they might exist in some fictional universe - who don’t care.
I care. I really fucking care.
This isn’t about plagiarism or anything. I don’t make money from writing fanfic, I just have fun and like to play in sandboxes and share those ideas with my readers, hoping in good faith that they also enjoy and respect my efforts. There are plenty of fics and art that I’ve seen that are similar to my own works, and that’s fucking awesome. I’ve got some other authors who link me as inspired by, and so far I haven’t had any issues with people wholesale stealing my fics.
Who cares about a few similar lines or paragraphs in the grand scheme of things, because holy shit two cakes yaaaassss am I right? That’s just the way of things. If it’s like a whole chapter or more, then it’s like “hey bro, uh, nani the fuck” but I haven’t had the actual plagiarism issue. I’m flattered when someone has a style or idea that is similar to my own, because that means I’m at that point in my writing where someone is learning their own writing style based on mine.
That is nice. Flattering. Makes me feel like some kind of fandom parent or whatever, patting the little fandom babies on the back as they grow into themselves. You use that culture and world building I started - do it child! Expand! I’m so proud of those little shits.
This AI shit? That is not flattering.
That just makes me feel sick. Violated.
The thought that someone would just throw out that bridge - that trust - between writer and reader, just fucking burn it down, is so, so fucking horrifying. I don’t know how to express it, but my hands literally started to shake when I first learned that someone would steal work because it wasn’t finished and feed it to an AI without so much as a by-your-leave.
I have so many WIPs guys. So many beloved fic that I wanted to share even if they weren’t near done. I’d never thought I’d be afraid of posting something unfinished, but now I’m pretty fucking terrified.
And angry. So, so angry.
There are authors who stopped writing their fic for various reasons, who have disappeared from fandom, not because they don’t have inspiration or are experiencing burnout, but because they died. That’s right, you’re potentially whining about someone not finishing their WIP because their lives ended. I can’t even express how much writers not finishing their fics more than likely doesn’t have a thing to do with you.
Unless you harassed someone off a platform, then more often than not people don’t care about you when it comes to updating. Funnily enough, more often than not, it’s not about you.
If you’re upset about someone not finishing a fic - something that’s done for free and fun, shared without expectation - I would like you to think of that potential worst case scenario and take a goddamn chill pill. Sure, that’s not the result in some cases, thank all the gods, but it could be. It could be someone that didn’t just dip out of a fandom or abandoned a fic; it could be so much worse, and you’re stealing from them. They don’t even have a chance to consent - not that I think they would - and you stealing their hard work because “wah, I want to see the end boohoo” is just the epitome of being a giant, entitled piece of shit.
Why the fuck would you disrespect someone’s work by stealing it to give it to a machine that is literally built to be a capitalistic feeder? Why do you care so little about writers that you would do something like this?
If you don’t like that something isn’t finished, you can always ask to write a continuation. You can link as “inspired by” and write your own, if you’re that desperate. You don’t want to/think you can’t write? Live with it. Professional writers drop series or go on hiatus for decades all the time. And they get paid.
We don’t have to share our work with you. Honestly, I have plenty of people outside of wider fandom that I can share my work with privately and never worry about someone stealing my shit again. The fact that I’m contemplating that eventuality of someone going against my wishes, violating my contribution to fandom and the love I have of my work is just - awful.
It feels awful. Like, I have angry tears of frustration in my eyes as I’m writing this.
Writing for people who enjoy it is a joy! Interacting with people about my fics is one of the highlights of fandom! Getting comments - even the dreaded wall of emojis or “update soon” right after an update - is enough to brighten even the worst of days!
People who decide that their personal wants with an author’s work is more important than going on that journey with them? Deciding not to respect the author? That kills the joy.
The trust.
The drive.
I have less desire to write and post since learning about this, and I’m trying to fight back against that depressive wave of “what’s the point?” but it’s so fucking hard guys. If someone is going to decide to steal my shit anyway, what’s the fucking point in trying to continue or find inspiration?
I don’t want to have to leave fandom as a creator. I don’t want to take away my fic from the people who love it, who have been following my fics for years and respect that I can’t always wrap my soggy brain meat around a fic and leave it for a while - sometimes years - to work on other things. I don’t want to.
But I will.
To protect myself, my choices, my writing? To protect myself? I’ll leave.
It won’t be the first relationship that’s soured and gotten bad that I’ve needed to drop like hot coals, but it will be the longest lasting one. It’ll hurt, and maybe I’ll have regrets, but I’ll fucking do it because I won’t be disrespected and have my writing used like this.
Outside of fandom there’s already so much shit that I cannot stomach having to deal with this kind of fuckery here as well. Fandom isn’t necessarily a “safe space” but it has always been an escape and somewhere that I can have fun. That I can at least trust people to appreciate my writing when I manage to update someone after a while, even if it’s a small thing.
I don’t know what kind of asshole you have to be to decide to steal someone’s work, someone’s joy, and do something like this - at least outright plagiarism is almost flattering. I’m not the most popular writer out there, but I’ve been in fandom for a while, and it takes all kinds. All kinds does not include the AI that we’ve been suddenly having to defend ourselves against since they became a real problem.
This is just a slap in the face.
The fact that maybe there are people out there in fandom who are acting like the AI Trojan Horse, stealing our works - our time, effort, creative process and enjoyment - and doing things like this? It’s so fucking disheartening and hurtful and just downright cruel.
So yeah. Please don’t steal my shit. Don’t steal anyone’s work and do something like this. You’re doing more damage than you seem to think. Not that I’m sure you’re thinking at all.
Maybe you - the people who do this - don’t care. Maybe that’s why you did it in the first place. Maybe writers don’t count as real people to you, not when it comes to fanfic or anything. Maybe you are just that selfish that only your own wants matter.
Maybe you don’t care about how I, we, feel.
But I do.
#cher shares#fandom#ai bullshit#fanfic writing#My writing#fanfiction#stealing#be a decent human being
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw a bunch of beautiful knitted patterns on Pinterest and got inspired to make a few new knit patterns. They are among my favorite patterns to make!
Now some word vomit, I just feel like the need to ramble today...
I noticed that I really suffer from performance anxiety regarding making CC for Sims 3. It has been building up the whole year, and it is especially bad now that Simblreen is around the corner and the Christmas season is coming up too. On tumblr, people mostly post their accomplishments, not so much their failures, and it makes me think that everyone is so much more productive! I see people participating in Simblreen daily prompt challenges, or making/publishing CC for Simblreeen, and feel sad and inadequate in the face of so much success. I manage to make a couple of things that never really see the light of day, and I feel guilty about it and feel like I let people down😿
At the moment, I can really only make CC for the sake of making it (making patterns is a meditative process for me) and I cannot seem to complete the whole process of publication. I guess if you follow me you are not expecting anything you see appearing as a download soon anyway, but sometimes I really struggle with that.
I am really sad about this, but I have always struggled with my perfectionism and intrusive negative thoughts that make the process harder. I sometimes think my patterns are not really needed. The lack of CC that is tailored to Sims 3 specifically (that recolors better than conversions) adds to the feeling that I am becoming obsolete, and my anxiety feeds this feeling. I guess I feel much less motivated to try if there are few things that you can use my CC with, and collabs seem to be much more popular for Sims 4, and I really want to make meshes to accompany my patterns, but I just get stuck in the middle and cannot continue, it sucks so much! The last time I attempted to make a super cozy sweater, I wanted to bake nice textures for it in Blender, but it just wouldn't work it out and I got so frustrated, and the automated bone assignments are subpar for highly customized meshes too. Then I wonder whether my meshes are any good in the first place (sculpting folds and such is really hard to get right!).
Now most people seem to work with geoms instead of TSR workshop's WSO format, and I have a hard time understanding how everything works. I would love to assign bones in Blender and such, but I also want to use Blender 3.x and keep up to date instead of always using ancient versions for everything. Tutorials are often for older versions. My brain wants to do things a certain way and it's really frustrating sometimes! Learning from tutorials whilst having a different version of the software is making the process much more difficult. At one point, I had 4 different versions of Blender installed, but is so annoying to have different versions for so many things.
I am using a medically prescribed app now to hopefully help with my anxiety and it currently teaches me that anxious people tend to think negatively and catastrophize. This is definitely true for me, and it keeps me from actually trying out things because my brain tells me I could fail and why waste that time.
Actually doing things while the brain throws you curveballs all the time is taking a lot of energy too. Maybe this is part of why I abandon my WIPs, because I cannot muster up the energy anymore to work on them. I often have great ideas and start on projects, and then lose the motivation or energy. I envy people who are able to finish their projects 😭
If you have any tips on how to keep going even with negative thoughts and obstacles in the way, I'm all ears.
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
update:
to the numerous asks I receive daily if I am updating petrichor any time soon:
-I know I receive new readers all the time and that some of you may not know things I have posted weeks or even days prior. But I have asked that my readers please refrain from asking for updates. This is one boundary I am trying to keep. I am disabled and use most of my energy daily just surviving. I write to get away from my daily life and pain and receiving asks just wondering about updates makes me anxious and makes me begin to just push out chapters that I push through quickly just to appease readers. im trying to stop from doing that and I would appreciate it if you could look at my navigation on my profile before making any asks.
-petrichor is not on hiatus nor am I abandoning the story in any way. I have been trying to write ch 17 since December but nothing I write seems to work with the story. either the plot is weird or the chapter doesn't flow well or doesn't make sense. ive tried perspective changes and even rewriting it as a whole. ive even tried changing the plot of the story but im really stuck on what ive got planned. im trying to write the next chapter.
-I have numerous other stories Im writing because I will get burnt out otherwise. I have adhd and if I try to push myself writing something where I either have no ideas or motivation for, then I get stuck. I push myself to write because I feel bad and then I burn out and can't write anything for weeks/months. I have so many ideas that I get stuck in my head, that if I don't write them, I will drive myself crazy. I am following my motivation and serotonin and choosing to write ideas and stories that I enjoy.
- I write because I want to and I don't owe any of my readers anything. I love all of you guys and appreciate all of the love you have given me and my works and in part continue writing because you love my ideas so much. but my works and profile are my own and I am not trying to be rude but I kind of just feel like im repeating myself at this point.
I am not pointing fingers or anything at any one. im not trying to be rude in any way. im just trying to keep my boundaries set. I promise if I have any news about petrichor I will notify you all immediately.
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
made an fc for iron leaguer a long while back! meet ollie: the skateboardin' star!
shoutout to @odybramm and @gayelectro for givin' me the motivation to finally post this dude after being nervous about it for so long!! it really means a lot!!! :D
i came up with...QUITE the story for this dude lmao, a very long (and tbh maybe kinda mid-) one though. it was very fun to come up with tho! if you're interested in that, read below! here's some fun facts otherwise
ollie's wheels are retractable! that means he can both walk around as well as skate around without a board quite casually
apart from his cap, another spot where his old team logo can be found is on the bottom of his skateboard! it's a bit more visible, showing a trophy in the middle of a ramp
speaking of his skateboard, it's actually the one he always had ever since his old league days! he just gave it a custom do-over
this mf drinks the oil equivalent of monster energy
Ollie was once part of a formidable skateboarding team, and he took great pride in his teammates. Unfortunately, a win over a Dark Sports team sealed their fate, as they got screwed over by the corrupt organization. He was then sent to the scrap heap, where he'd eventually meet an abandoned Topjoy. The two became "oil brothers" (robo equivalent of blood brothers, shoutout to my bf for that idea), sharing an unbreakable bond and helping each other out. However, the duo had been separated once the basketball leaguer was picked up by Section X, leaving Ollie to worry about any further attachments. This caused Ollie's insistence on independence as he rose to stardom in the Iron League by himself.
Following the events of the Stray Leaguer Arc, Silver Castle came across the skatepark Ollie frequents, and the skateboarder was quickly able to recognize to his long lost friend, excitedly shouting "TJ?!" as he ran to him for a hug. Ollie is rather surprised by Topjoy's new team while his friend is shocked that Ollie had been alone for so long. While Ollie was quick to introduce himself to the team, so was the unfolding conflict. Some of the teammates found Ollie to be arrogant while some believed he truly was content by himself, and some thought he did yearn for a team once again. After someone (imagine whoever wkfnwj-) briefly points out Ollie's newfound "overconfidence", tension rises. This escalates to Ollie challenging Silver Castle to a 7v1 at a large, abandoned skateboarding arena. After heading off, Magnum is quick to notice a worn off logo on the back of Ollie's cap, recognizing it as an old team logo. While Windy has his doubts about Ollie, he learned better than to instantly assume the worst regarding others after what happened with Topjoy and Gold Mask (nods to episodes 9 and 23 respectively). Despite the earlier tension, Ollie still assists the team with custom boards and practice, refusing to accept that he truly enjoyed their company (apart from his oil brother's, of course, that he genuinely did). From there, the team came to realize that behind Ollie's false bravado, he did actually want a team again; what held him back is his fear of losing one yet again.
The match at the arena, formerly known as The Crossbone, finally took place once Silver Castle was ready to face Ollie. My idea here is that skateboarding matches are like the Iron League's equivalent of Beyblade: eliminate opponents out of the arena for the win. Sometimes matches were one vs one, team vs team, or (in this case, the most extreme matchup) many vs one. The team worked together to eliminate him from the rink, subtly showing him what good a team can do. Eventually, this led to Ollie saving someone from injury mid-match (again, you can imagine whoever tbh!!), which made him remember not only how his oil brother helped him out of a situation at the scrap heap but also what a team truly meant to him. A team wasn't a group of people that were only good for stardom's sake, which was a belief he self-deluded himself with to avoid the pain of losing another team; it was a group of people one could always depend on through times good and bad, win or lose. Silver Castle came out victorious, and after having been eliminated from the arena, Ollie heartily laughed, enjoying himself in a match after what felt like forever. He thanks Silver Castle for helping his best friend as well as himself. Before going their own ways, Ollie wishes them luck on the world championship and even invites them for a rematch once he finds a team. After all, they were "almost as good as the best", making a small nod at how him and his friend both referred to themselves at the best in their respective sports. Having learned the true value of companionship from a team, he promises to kickstart a new era for skateboard leaguers, both current and aspiring ones.
#iron leaguer#shippu iron leaguer#iron leaguer oc#oc#iron leaguer fc#fc#bucko's art#not the best but fuck it we ball#BE FREE FROM THE DRAFTS MY BOY#ollie iron leaguer#ollie!!#whoa that's a lotta tags-
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
I got a question again- (sorry if I bother ya-) do you hyperfixation about other thing beside smg4? Like what else do you like beside smg4
Thats fine I don't bother, thats also the reason why my askbox is always available <33
I AM still in the Spongebob Fandom and also Lego Monkie Kid. But besides any other fandoms? Nah-
If anyone here is wondering I'd be in TADC or Murder Drones. The simple answer I have on that is, no. I'm not in the fandoms but I do like watching the videos/animations.
In the fandom SpongeBob SquarePants, @flaray25 "@/Gaming_MusicOn" - WATTPAD
I used to have a big hyperfixation about a certain ship (SquidBob) that I TOTALLY didn't make a presentation about their dynamic/relationship with each other.
Made a BUNCH of arts/comics/fanfics of the two gay creatures... in what reason? FOR GIVING ME IDEAS FROM THEIR DYNAMIC AS THE OPTIMISSTIC/PESSIMISTIC SUN/MOON. I CRY AND BLEED FOR IT.
Ahem- in any other reasons, this ship changed my life FOREVER. As in like EVER AT ALL. I made like 20+ comics in traditional with 200 pages with my ugly ass artstyle. And in Digital with 23 separate comics and maybe about 80+ pages? Im not quite sure.
I published 20 stories (OLD FICS) that were about the ship and 2 stories (18 if separate) as two different ships
It was fun staying. I loved staying there until it got a bit toxic from my space in a personal issue.
But I'm good now ^^ just don't draw alot of it nowadays.
I'm also in the fandom called "The Lego Monkie Kid"
- TIKTOK ACCOUNT - @ray-is-they "@/Ray_is_They" Princex of SpicyNoodles
I'm pretty sure if people stayed here you guys know about a certain yellow lemon character of someone. DerpLee.
They motivated me to go watch the season. And so I did. I binge watched the WHOLE SEASONS.
It was great! It was very catchy and nonetheless the animations are pretty impressive! So smooth and perfect! I joined in right after there was a shipping dynamic of Enemies to Lovers. (AKA MK and RedSon = SpicyNoodlesShipping)
I've had SO- MANY... content creations from the ship of SpicyNoodles BACK WHEN TIKTOK was the mostly place I hang around. I got a bit influenced ever since I hear audios that give out their vibes and thats where I started a lil bit of animation even tho it was a bit lazy-
I had 2 published works of the ship from wattpad because... IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO CREATE IT?
I hundred percent sure that I hyperfixated about their whole relationship with eachother. Yes.
I kind of well abandoned the channel now so uhh yeaaaaaaa???????? (I made it to 4k followers but didnt made a special animatic about it I'm so lovely.)
But I still do observe and keep notified on what would be the upcoming season 5 will be... I'll stay on TUNED for that once it releases...
And so you have these two :33 cough. But now that I have this account now, I am no longer active much working with two so I RARELY post there anymore. (I'd have to apologize for the people I promised making an animatic for... aaaaaa-)
And yes. I do notice my followers are also a fan of lmk I see it. (I LOVE MEI-)
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.
1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?
2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?
3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.
4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?
5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?
6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)
omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌
i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??
i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.
i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶
my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.
i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,
ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)
again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway, this is me thinking today about this fic, which was a canon-era fic where hei xiazi had been a sex worker and had a whole plot planned and was accurate to the attitudes, norms, business and appointment structure etc of sex work in japan (where it was set) from the 80s-present. i care a lot about how sex work is depicted in fandom and wider media. anyway, i predicted it settling in at around 20k in terms of word count. and it absolutely flopped, lads, i won't lie to you. i think it got something like one comment at the time (it has slowly accumulated about 5-6 since then which i deeply appreciate, but you see my point). i am literally shocked by how many people have come forward since to say how much they loved it and wished it would update, because. yeah. as far as i have been concerned, it's been abandoned.
there are no shortcuts in writing. i'm an incredibly fast writer by most standards, i'm aware, but i reckon that 4k of the fic that was published represents at absolute minimum about 6 hours of work, and more likely 8. and again. i'm considered fast. but what happens is realistically, despite the speed of the actual words to page, the mental effort remains the same. that's what i mean by there being no shortcut. there's muscle memory and having trained for the effort of writing, but there is no bypass for the actual work without sacrificing something of the substance of it. (for example, something like this fic, which is not much more in terms of wordcount, took me about 20 hours.) i'm only able to sprint-write when i do because of like, hundreds of hours of writing in the past meaning i'm able to sustain the effort. which is literally the same for every writer, tbh.
anyway, like i was saying in earlier tags, i don't expect people to engage with my work at all, but i have cut projects dead in the water for fandom over engagement before, and i'll continue to do so because that's how i operate, especially since i do not write the full draft before i post - the story evolves as i update it. i am not motivated in a hobby by talking to a brick wall, i do not dream of labour for the sake of it, etc etc etc. but yeah it's just been very startling to hear how popular some ideas were knowing that it's been years since i've had any interest in writing them because of this. it's been literally two years.
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm sure someone's asked you this before, but I'm thinking about writing another short fic and I'm wondering what your process is for plotting out your writing? every time I try and write something I always struggle with knowing how to move the plot toward what I want. I'm wondereng if you have a structure you tend to follow? if you've answered this before feel free to tag me in that post or something, but it's been so long since I've written something and I want a good structure to start from. and you're one of my favorite authors so I figured you'd be the best to ask
ideas take time. I'm sure there are some people out there who can get an idea and then spit out a short fic immediately after and it's great and wonderful and amazing but personally, I can't do that. I gotta sit on my ideas and build them over time. even the short ones!
it's just not enough for me to want to write something. i gotta be into it, and i'm not going to get into it unless i've spent considerable time thinking about it and developing it in my head. whether that means building up plot or backstory or just witty banter, I need to have a good feel for the story before i can start writing it. most of the story ideas i come up with never get written. i come up with an idea that i'm into but then i can't brainstorm enough meat in the middle so i either tuck it away in my notes to try and salvage later or i forget it and move on
And that's okay! not every idea is a winner. but it's not a waste of time to come up with them. several of my stories were once ideas that i scrapped because i couldn't motivate myself to get into them. Summer Rain was an original story idea i came up with when i was a teenager that i stuffed into the very back reaches of my brain until years later i got into Haikyuu and dragged it out to rethink it into a fic idea instead. GMB too. Hard Times was a fic I started years ago and then abandoned because I couldn't bring myself to think up what should happen after the initial deal is struck.
when i am actually plotting out a story, i don't really have a structure that i follow. I just think of individual things and jot them down in my notes, then change or add to them as i continue to brainstorm. I mainly focus on the BIG parts, working them out in my head until I like them, and then write the little in between stuff as I go. I am one of those writers that prefers to write by the seat of my pants and it's worked well for me so far but I understand how some people prefer not to do that.
none of my stories come quickly though. For many of the long ongoing ones, i'm coming up with new stuff all the time. I've got a big thing planned for ATEGT that i didn't think of until I was like 15 chapters into it. Summer Rain is nothing like what it was supposed to be when i first started it. Ideas are supposed to change and bulk up over time, so if you give them the time they need, you can think up some really fun, amazing stuff!
Don't rush. I understand the need to write something and post it as soon as possible. There are times that i wish i could just bust out a fast one shot and shoot it out there for people to read but it's just not my style. the people who can do that are awesome and i admire them! but it's just not for me. I need to bat an idea around in my brain for weeks, months, or even years before it becomes anything concrete.
other than that, i don't really have much useful advice for you in this area, unfortunately. Just... take notes. Write down your ideas as soon as you think of them. It's not a contract. You don't have to keep them. I'm constantly jotting an idea down in my notes and then deleting it later because i changed my mind. It's fine! Get loosey goosey with it! it's supposed to be fun! don't stress yourself out with trying to force something thats just not coming. let it come to you freely and you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you think of.
i've also found that it helps for me to write my thoughts down as if i'm telling the idea to a friend. Just working through the plot on the fly from beginning to end. "I've got this new idea. So there's Character A who works at the airport and what they does is this and that. then one day as theyre doing this or that, someone comes through the line and then this thing happens and Character A is like what the heck? but they're cool so they're like hey it's no big deal and Character B is cute so Character A is like hey let's see where this goes, so anyway Character A does this and Character B is like that and after that Character C who is Character A's ex and a total douchenozzle shows up and Character B is like yo i'm gonna help you out and so-" you know? Just... write it out. If you don't know what happens next, say you don't know what happens next. "Some other stuff will happen and their bond will grow you know, like fun romantic and silly things where they learn some stuff about each other but it's clear that Character B is keeping a secret but Character A doesn't want to push them into talking about it so they just pretend like they don't notice and-" etc etc.
Walk yourself through the stuff you HAVE figured out and you might think up some others on the fly too. It helps to see it in a linear fashion. "And then and then and then and then". At least it does for me. Especially since my brain doesn't like to be organized and constantly jumps around to whatever is most interesting at the moment. my friends have gotten long strings of messages from me over the years about story ideas i've come up with and just want to get out to see if they have any real potential. and those are the ones that usually do!
sorry i don't have any real tricks or tips about this stuff. i really am just a sloppy disorganized writer and people probably shouldn't try to emulate me because it's a mess over here, take my word for it 🤦♂️
anyway, i wish you luck! You can do it! just make sure you are having fun. your writing should be indulgent and exactly the kind of thing you would want to read. don't think about what other people would want. You're not making a product to sell, you're creating art 🌈
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Querencia 15 - Park Day
The enthusiastic response I got on the last piece I posted helped motivate me to keep going! This is the actual chronologically next chapter, coming in a month or two after Mind Control. Enjoy!
Taglist: @darthsutrich , @inky-whump , @painful-pooch , @pigeonwhumps , @bookworm2107
Previous | Next | Masterlist
Contains: referenced mind control, referenced parental abandonment, fear of abandonment, broken bone, a couple more warnings in the tags to avoid spoilers here
.
.
Things have been fairly normal since the whole “supervillain getting in Jamil’s head and making him attack everyone” incident. Dagger is still a near-weekly problem, along with Meltdown and whoever else he happens to be hanging out with at the moment. Other villains come and go, too, some low-level Supers like Reaper and Gibbous, along with non-Super nuisances that the team does their best to curb, too - bank robbers and muggers and kidnappers and such.
No one has heard anything from or about Luna. Then again, no one had heard of her before the incident, either. Which means she’s probably still out there, and could very well be biding her time until she can strike again. None of them ever really talk about her, but Liliana can feel anxiety hanging in the air that wasn’t there before, especially on poor Jamil’s part.
Luna knows exactly where they live, what they look like without their masks on. Probably knows their names and where they work, thanks to rummaging through Jamil’s brain. So not only could she easily return, but she could also tell others the information she learned. They don’t know who she might be associated with. They managed to pin down Reaper one day and quiz him about her and any other new villains in town, but he was less than helpful on the subject.
Even if they could track her down and catch her, Liliana has learned from snippets of conversation that they really have nothing to do with her. It’s something she’s never thought of before, but one reason that there are still so many supervillains around is that there’s no way to arrest them. The government likely could detain them, but no one trusts that it would be humane or that the heroes wouldn’t also be captured in the process of trying to hand them over. Just the thought of the government locking them up makes Liliana sick to her stomach, villains or not.
Normal jails can’t handle them. Normal courtrooms can’t, either, in order to convict them to send them to jail. And no hero wants to be in charge of locking them away themselves, even if they did have the space and technology.
So all they can do for now is damage control, really. Try to stop their crimes as often as they can, try to disrupt whatever plans they have. She doesn’t envy the team their jobs. Between supervillains, regular criminals, and their day jobs, they’re constantly busy.
Every other Saturday, though, after everyone who’s working gets home, they make it a point to go do something together. Since Liliana’s been with them they’ve seen a couple of movies, gone to an arcade, had a picnic, gone to the mall, and eaten out at restaurants a few times. Every experience is a huge deal for her, though she tries to make light of the awe she feels. It’s just been so long since she’s done such normal, fun things. Sometimes she feels like she’s watching someone else’s life.
Today, they’re at the city park. No one can remember whose idea it was to start with, but “the children” - as Quinn likes to fondly dub Nari, Alex, and Jamil - went crazy over the thought of playing on the playground, so here they are. It’s late enough that all of the actual children have gone home. Jamil is trying out every slide, while Quinn judges Nari and Alex in a series of competitions on the monkey bars. Liliana watches everyone from the side, a small smile on her face, but every once in a while she glances over at the empty swings.
Swinging used to be her favorite. Especially on park or school swings like these, with the long chains that could take you so high you felt like you were flying. She and Mila used to see who could go the highest, and try to swing themselves right over the top bar.
It feels silly and childish now. She can’t swing herself right now, anyway. She healed another broken rib - on Nari this time - earlier this week, just a couple of weeks after the pain from Alex’s had finally faded. So there’s no way that she can pump the chains on a swing.
Still…she could just sit in one. That won’t hurt anything. Glancing over at the chin-up contest again, she makes her way over and settles into the plastic seat, gloved hands gripping the chains loosely. Her toes just barely reach the ground, giving her enough leverage that she can give herself a little push. The swing rocks gently. Liliana watches her sneakers as they brush across the dirt, back and forth. She pushes again and swings a little more. Such a simple motion, but it brings so many childhood memories flooding into her mind.
“May I give you a push?”
The sudden question makes her jump and look back over her shoulder, though she recognizes the voice. Jamil is standing behind her with a smile on his face, cheeks flushed from his adventures down the slides.
“Oh, um…y-you don’t have to, I’m…I’m fine.”
“I know I don’t have to, but I’d like to, if you’d like to swing. If not, I’ll leave you be!”
Now her mind is at war. She automatically wants to say no, not wanting to inconvenience him or make him do things for her.
She also really, really wants to swing.
Somehow, without her actually deciding what to say, “Sure?” slips out.
“Alright, hang on!”
Suddenly, she’s flying through the air, and it’s exactly how she remembers it. Colors rush by as the wind blows her curls back off her shoulders, then tangles them around her cheeks again. She grabs onto the chains tighter. Her legs automatically fall into a pumping motion, toes pointing out at the horizon, her eyes bright with exhilaration.
Yes, it pulls at her rib a bit. But she finds she doesn’t really care.
She’s been swinging for a few minutes, oblivious to anything else around her, when another voice breaks in. “Hold on tight, I’m coming through!” A set of hands grab the swing by her hips and shove forward, higher and faster until she’s sure she actually is going to go over the top bar, or more likely, fall out the back of the swing. She squeals in shock, though this sensation is familiar, too. Then she’s dropped abruptly, her stomach following the motion, the swing’s momentum twisting it back and forth as it reaches the bottom again.
Alex is turned around watching her, laughing. He’d come up from behind and grabbed the swing, running all the way underneath it.
Her brother used to do the very same thing, back when she was small enough he could lift her.
“Did I scare you?”
“A, a little.” She’s smiling, though. She can’t help it, even with the pain in her side and the melancholy of missing what used to be.
These people…they treat her like a family should. Better than her family ever did, though she feels like a traitor for thinking it.
She shouldn’t fall for it. If her real family taught her anything, it’s that what seems like love and care won’t last and can’t be trusted. If her own flesh and blood eventually turned on her, then she can’t expect people who were strangers a few months ago to be any different.
But right now, she’s shoving those thoughts deep, deep down. She can worry about all of that later. Right now, for once, she’s going to let herself enjoy the moment.
Nari is shoving and punching Alex and playfully fussing at him for scaring Liliana, and Jamil has jumped up on the swing next to her, standing on one foot and pumping with his arms. She doesn’t move from her spot, just keeps smiling and watching their antics. They’re so full of life and joy, even with the stress they constantly face.
Before long Quinn takes up Jamil’s position without a word, and she’s swinging again. Alex and Jamil balance on the seesaw, attempting circus tricks, screaming like girls when Nari uses her power to make the metal move beneath them, which sends her into fits of laughter.
It’s late when they finally pile into Quinn’s car to head back to HQ. Everyone is tired in a contented way. Alex leans the passenger seat back practically into Nari’s lap, claiming he’s going to take a nap, while she kicks his headrest repeatedly and threatens him. Quinn clears his throat loudly, though, and quiet falls to let him focus and not overwhelm him with sound in the small space.
Liliana leans her head back and watches the moon out the sunroof. Her hands are tucked between her knees to keep her arms from brushing up against Jamil and Nari, who each lean into their respective doors to give her more space. It’s…peaceful. She’s pretty sure she hears someone snoring. She could fall asleep, too, honestly, which is surprising for her since she doesn’t usually feel comfortable sleeping unless she’s alone.
The motion of the car does lull her into a near-dozing state. Her eyes are closed and she’s absentmindedly trying to picture which turn they’re taking when someone gasps and the car suddenly jerks to one side. Liliana’s eyes fly open and she sits up abruptly. There’s a bump and a loud popping and hissing sound, then the car is swerving uncontrollably, headlights sweeping back and forth across the empty road.
The seconds seem to pass in slow motion. Her hands are gripping the seats in front of her, eyes fixated out the front windshield. A cacophony of screams and shouted words fill the car as the steeply sloped side of the road looms in front of them, cutting off abruptly as they tip over the side and begin to fall.
Gravity inverts, and for a moment she’s weightless before being slammed back down. Her temple smashes into something hard and unyielding. Images are swimming through the darkness around her - a cracked window, slumped figures. A beam of light making her wince and turn away.
Someone groans. The car shakes as a door is forced open.
“This one’s still awake.”
“Here, use the syringe.”
There’s movement around her, the click of seatbelts unbuckling too loud in her ears.
“Wait, why are there five?”
“What?”
“This one, who is she? She’s not one of the usuals, is she?”
“Doesn’t matter, just grab her.”
Something is very, very wrong, but she can’t make her body work to do anything about it. The darkness outside is creeping closer inward. She feels her seatbelt loosen and a pair of hands latch onto her, but the darkness closes in completely before she can protest.
#querencia#liliana the healer#quinn the leader#nari the hero#alex the hero#jamil the hero#lady whump#lady whumpee#broken ribs#referenced parental abandonment#fear of abandonment#referenced mind control#car crash#kidnapping#urban fantasy#superheroes#heroes and villains#whump writing#whump series
20 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
willofcausality
Will of Causality
trz-airmaster
TRZ Airmaster
babylovepresley
s loves e.p ♡
heeqoqo
제목 없음