.

i think im happy with these???

but im going to let them sit for a few days and then scrutinize it again 

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

No but fr I wanna know all ur Yangchen thoughts 🥺🙏

Are we gonna get a review of Dawn of yangchen?? 💛💛 I really love ur analysis stuff, it’s fun to read

thank you and sorry for taking so long to reply! i kept meaning to write a review of the dawn of yangchen but then the sequel came out, which i just read, and i figured i'd just combine the little i had written with my overall impression of both novels. it might just be recency bias, but i really enjoyed the legacy of yangchen, it hit all the right spots for me. my review isn't formal in any way, but here are my scattered thoughts in the form of bullet points (in no particular order), and if there are any details you'd like me to expand on or analyze more formally, please don't hesitate to ask! i'd love to discuss these novels further.

obviously, spoilers for both the yangchen novels under the cut.

i like how i can tell that fc yee is a sokkagirl the same way i can tell that will arbery (one of my favorite playwrights, worked on s4 of succession) is a romangirl. and that’s all i’m gonna say on that! 

in my draft of my review of the previous novel, which i had only outlined but never actually finished, i said this: “zongdu chaisee seven months pregnant and effortlessly running an entire city from the top down in a way that makes her completely untouchable despite her obviously criminal tactics vs zongdu henshe gripping the public bathroom sink sobbing into the basin and flailing around throwing tantrums whenever the avatar questions his competence. a girlboss running her empire vs a pathetic little boytoy imploding under the weight of his own ineptitude. i love them both.” which i stand by even more now that chaisee is given more prominence in the sequel. she was already my favorite character in the yangchenverse, but now she’s EXTREMELY my favorite character. and rip henshe lmfao you were fun but we won’t miss you.

that said, kalyaan swiftly moved up the ranks. his scenes in this novel were so excellent. the way he humiliates kavik as simply as breathing, but also the way he completely fell apart when he thought kavik was hurt. their relationship is so fascinating, im obsessed with their toxic undying brotherhood!!!! and im the number one hater of guys with smug auras usually, but he’s so beautifully written in this novel i just couldn’t help but relish every scene he’s in. 

i also wrote last novel: “mama ayunerak was also a very cool character. at first she seems like just a sweet little old lady but it turns out she’s actually extremely shrewd and has eyes everywhere!! best spy in the whole damn spy novel, perhaps??” and my opinion has only somewhat changed. i still love her, don’t get me wrong, but i don’t think i was giving yangchen herself enough credit. she can evade the white lotus masterfully when she wants to.

i also, of course, LOVED seeing the white lotus in their banal, daily operations. how the sausage gets made, if you will. as a white lotus lover, and a kavik lover, and a lying liars who lie lover, this was all extremely satisfying for me. the fact that they were the ones to orchestrate the platinum affair is so beautiful to me. fc yee understands me. he gets it. 

yangchen and kavik have such a beautiful relationship. i love that by the end, yangchen still doesn’t even realize that kavik isn’t remorseful because he betrayed the Avatar, but because he betrayed her. he doesn’t even really give a shit that she’s the avatar in like, the grand, spiritual sense. he just loves her for who she is. a smart, funny air nomad who wants to make the world a better place. and she has it so bad for him lmfao i don’t think she even realizes it tho 😭

i loved the references to gurus laghima and shoten, the koans yangchen quotes to herself throughout the novels, the portrayal of air nomad culture in general. it’s great to be able to spend time with air nomads in a real way, even if most of the action still takes place in the earth kingdom. 

jetsun is such an incredible minor character, that final scene tells us so much with so little. and i love the stark contrast she provides to kalyaan, which yangchen even says. the difference between older sisters (queens & legends) and older brothers (toxic male manipulators) i suppose. 

a minor detail i enjoy is the confirmation that airbenders can use airwaves to detect the movement of objects. it’s only fair that each element gets its own version of seismic sense, and if firebenders have heatbending and airbenders have wavebending, i think waterbenders could theoretically do the same via the moisture in the air. just a fun piece of lore i like to think about. 

i love that despite how intelligent and studious she is, yangchen is, fundamentally, a jock. she thinks in koans and sports references. she prides herself on being airball team captain. she is competitive and fun loving, just like any other air nomad. 

also yangchen being called “a terror” (by jetsun) and “a horrible little girl” (by yingsu) is so real and adorable she’s literally a little sister & a menace!!!! <3

combustion bending lore getting expanded upon was great for me. i love that chaisee’s history as an exploited pearl diver gave her both the idea and the will to use people as weapons. it’s not that she thinks it’s okay to do, but she thinks it’s fine because it’s how the world works. though she’ll use the cruelest methods, she’s not innately cruel, she’s just been jaded enough to become amoral, and thinks doing whatever it takes to secure her position is always justified. excellent character i fucking love her truly. 

we never actually find out what happened to jujinta or the history behind the yuyan archers, but that’s okay. the toll it has on him is what’s important, and that’s communicated effectively enough without exposition. 

i thought that surely yangchen would find a way to end the platinum affair, but i actually loved that there was no getting through to feishan, and ultimately, he had the power. i think her strategy of becoming the zongdu for the entire earth kingdom and personally distributing funds is fascinating, because it’s exactly the kind of un-air-nomad behavior that separates her from aang. yangchen is wise and spiritual, but she is also shrewd and pragmatic. her air nomad status strengthens her integrity where it matters, but it doesn’t hinder her ability to make the necessary calls that burden the avatar. as much as she doubts herself and resents her responsibilities, she handles her role beautifully. 

her bison dying to save her is just. sheer pain. first jetsun and now nujian, not to mention her banishment from the northern air temple, avatarhood demanding sacrifice is the one constant across all their lifetimes. except roku. roku’s just a spoiled brat. 

something i love about kavik is that he is an excellent liar. i think that if he continues his career in espionage instead of becoming a healer, he could really flourish. also the fact that he’s really good at mental math is very funny to me. when you long to be a doctor but your skills are in accounting and spycraft… 

the chaisee yangchen foilage is so rich & juicy i love how chaisee genuinely loves air nomad philosophy despite her own modus operandi being so antithetical to air nomad values. how it’s clear that despite commiserating with the burden of the avatar, she so desperately wishes she had that power and built-in clout and eternally preserved legacy. how she calls yangchen her “little sister” in a parallel with kalyaan & kavik, but jetsun is her actual big sister so the thought of chaisee calling her that disgusts her. i actually think that if chaisee had joined the white lotus instead of becoming a zongdu she could have enjoyed all the benefits of power and protection without actually putting herself at risk. but she is also far vainer than she would like to admit. alas. 

i would have really loved to see the dynamic between chaisee and kalyaan. i know they would be such a fascinating couple, these inverted foils of yangchen and kavik, who are so smart, and shrewd, and talented, and fragile. i could read an entire novel just about their domestic disputes. 

i love the way the novel dealt with questions of avatarhood—its unfair burden, its unfair power, the ghosts of past lives possessing you, the way it can be so isolating even when you have community and personal support and the adoration of the masses, the arrogance that unique power can lead to. it’s a very difficult question if you actually try to consider the in-universe political implications of it. i hardly find it surprising that an anarchist (such as comrade xai bau) would come to the conclusion that avatars should not exist. 

fc yee does such a great job of incorporating lore from atla & lok, both small details and major plotpoints, in a way that feels natural and seamless. despite the fact that the tone of this novel is very different, it still feels like it takes place in the exact same universe. and for what it’s worth, i prefer the tone here. not that i don’t love the grand sweeping quest narrative of atla, but the daily minutia of exploitation, the manipulations and machinations of power players on a more balanced world stage is far more intriguing to me as an adult. the same way that as an adventure-loving child i was obsessed with katara, but i grew into loving sokka as i matured. i will always enjoy atla’s righteous battle between good and evil, but the nuanced, grounded politics of the yangchen novels really hit the spot for me now. i said in the past that the kyoshi novels do what lok tried to do, but this novel is actually the most perfectly illustrative of that idea for me. maybe because it explores the exact kind of archetypes and themes im already predisposed to enjoy in this franchise. maybe it’s just recency bias. but i loved this book. 

now that it’s been a few days and i’ve Calmed Down from the initial release mania i wanted to collect my thots…. first thanks to everyone that left comments and genuine ratings/reviews and feedback on siren’s call! i appreciate it ❤️ i know it’s only been a couple days but in my experience interaction declines pretty quickly for me after the first 2 days, though that’s to be expected since i don’t really “market” my work.

this whole thing has been a bit of a learning experience… i’ve been writing publicly for about 3 years now but this was my first time publishing anything quite as “official” (at least that’s how it feels) it’s been really cool posting something tangible as a PDF. makes me feel legit hahahaha

it’s also been really exciting seeing other authors interact with my work. despite being on the “writing side” for a while now i still tend to get flustered when other authors acknowledge/read my work so that’s been pretty cool 🙈

anyways my ramblings under the cut

what i’ve learned:

i need to be patient. this is a problem i always have to be honest, i get too impatient and excited to share my work. i wish i had let it rest for a few more days because i ended up going in and editing it repeatedly the first like 24hrs of publishing it lmfao. i rushed into it with one day hike as well (tho that was more of an emotional rip off the bandaid moment) & i tend to do it with my IF updates so it’s just something i need to work on.

people will pay for free stuff. i decided on a whim to offer people to pay what they want and i was genuinely surprised that people did pay for siren’s call. the pay what you want model is how i plan to continue going forward with any other work like this, i like offering my work for free for the most part and i prefer not having set prices especially for my shorter works. my longer IFs, as long as they are demos, will remain completely free until final publication (we don't have to worry about this for a while...lol).

this is something i want to keep doing. when it comes to siren’s call, i am still interested in publishing the long form story, with the short story being a little companion piece down the line. i’m not sure when that will happen; there are a lot of things i still need to figure out for that story to truly work in the way that i want. but just know this is not the end of siren's call just yet :-) and i'm definitely interested in writing more short erotica (though probably not as short as this again)

this whole thing was completely just on a whim like i mentioned earlier. i was in the mood to write something in that vein and i ended up turning to familiar characters and revisiting Rome and Lucienne for the first time in a while. and then i decided to publish it on a whim as well because i thought it would be fun & interesting to experience that process, plus i just wanted to see if i could do it…. and i can! lmfao

it's kind of wild to see my progress from when i started writing tnp; i was insecure about a lot of my writing but especially writing sex.... i originally hadn't even planned to write it in tnp to begin with. now it's one of my favorite things to write lmfao. i've written a lot of it for my novel and i've written quite a bit for blood choke now, too. it's exhausting but fun.

i have another project, hell or highwater, that will most likely be next in line (not counting tnp or blood choke) i keep flipflopping about the medium, but i do think the interactivity will add something interesting to the narrative. it's a romance and also a tragedy... i like the idea of giving the player options to guide conversations and influence the main narrative, but it's a set main character and overall a linear story, with the player only able to do so much to guide Jamie (the mc) through it. i don’t see this being ready any time soon, especially since i want to finish the next bc chapter before nanowrimo… so it’s on the backburner for now.

my plans currently are to finish bc ch3 & then lock in and finish the blackwater route for tnp during nanowrimo. once i push both of those updates out i might shift focus onto hell or highwater a little more, and whatever other random shit i might decide to start writing between now and then lmfao.

anyways if you read this far thanks for being here and supporting me and reading my silly little stories!

❤️ LOUSTAT

HOO BOY I hope you're ready for this one friend because it's about to get real fluffy up in here :)

Who is the most affectionate? Okay so here's the thing. We all know Lestat is the Golden Retriever BF who is constantly showering Louis in affection, but Lestat is also the one in this relationship who needs constant affirmation, so in terms of GIVING affection, it's actually Louis who exerts more effort (mind you, these things don't come naturally to him) in making sure Lestat feels cared for.

Who initiates the handholding? Lestat, 100%

Who worries more for the other? Louis absolutely worries more about Lestat, and for very good reason. Louis may be a bit self-depricating and defenseless without any of the Dark Gifts, but Lestat is Lestat, and Louis has to keep a very watchful eye on him because if he's bored for more than 5 minutes he's likely to cause another vampire mass extinction event

Who is more likely to ask for help? Lestat has actually gotten much better at asking for help these days (mostly because he's gotten himself into so much trouble). But asking Louis for help is always a humbling experience, namely because Louis' grace has very strict limits, and when lines are crossed, Louis can, has, and will deny Lestat any aid. Body Thief is such a great example lmao god I could pick apart their interactions in that novel for HOURS

Who is the one always losing the keys? Louis, for reasons stated here but also because Lestat is sappy about Domestic Things. He went through a Lanyard Phase because he liked the way the keys jangled around, but the noise was Too Much for Louis so now Lestat is just the Chivalrous Escort who keeps the keys in his pocket and valiantly opens the door and asks to carry Louis bridal-style through the threshold every damn night.

Who leaves little love notes for the other? Again, love notes are Louis' specialty!!! he scribbles the thoughts as they come to him and leaves them behind in random places. Lestat collects them all and ends up crying every time he finds a new one because they mean so much to him <3

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? Lestat!!!!! Lestat is canonically a very bad sleeper; he stays up as long as physically possible and experiences frequent night terrors. Having Louis in bed, even if it's just his dead weight while he's in the death sleep, is such a comfort to him.

Who is more likely to propose to the other? Lestat, of course, but not in the way anyone expects. He knows Louis doesn't like grand sweeping romantic gestures, so it happens out of the blue one night, as they're sitting on their balcony late in the evening, watching the throngs of people milling about the street below. Louis says something that makes Lestat laugh, and they kiss, and Lestat just blurts out that he wants to marry him and Louis laughs and blushes and pushes him away but says yes anyway :)

Who introduced the other to their family first? asdgfhgjhbjn this question is not well suited for this series!! brb pouring one out for Paul de Pointe du Lac as we speak

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? They both do. As I've said before, Louis' absolute weakness is when his hair is played with. It's his #1 turn on tbh. But Lestat's hair is much more unruly (especially after flying) so Louis often finds himself calling Lestat over to sit in front of him so he can brush it out.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Again, Lestat has...0 chill when it comes to worrying about Louis being fed. It's one of the many pinch points that still comes up for them on a more regular basis. Even though Louis has gotten over a lot of the reticence he felt in those initial fledgling years, he still has bouts of depression where he won't eat, and it resurfaces a lot of old wounds between them.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? Both! And we have plenty of examples in canon lmfao

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Lestat. He knows Louis hates it but he just can't help himself.

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? It's less pinky promise and more "Lestat, if you even THINK of doing what I think you're doing, you'd better prepare to sleep outside come sunrise."

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? It's a nightly ritual for Lestat to tuck Louis in for his mid-evening nap :) several photos have been sent to the group chat in the past— he can't help it, Louis looks too damn cute

Group A Round 1

[image ID: the first image is of Syksy, a person with short red hair, shrugging at someone off screen, and wearing a cooking apron with the boobs and lower body of a woman in a bikini, as if they're the one with the boobs. the second image is of Chaerin Eun, a high school girl with pink hair, wearing a dark colored blazer, a tan sweat vest, a white dress shirt, and a red tie. end ID]

Syksy

Syksy is the immortal (for now) embodiment of autumn, he's got ADHD, they've been alive since the 1800s and only started listening to music because of LMFAO in the 2010s. Syksy's roommates/coworkers technically with the other 3 seasons and somehow didn't learn it was inadvisable to have feelings for his fellow seasons after the world's messiest breakup with Kesa (summer). They've even got daddy issues. I don't know how to sum this blorbo up in words but I love Syksy so much !!!!

Chaerin Eun

She’s the main character of the webcomic Surviving Romance! The whole comic is so good, but Chaerin is such a compelling character. She’s a depressed woman who ends up isekai’d into a romance novel, that out of nowhere turns into a horror at the climax. Seeing her eventually befriend and make connections with all the characters she initially dismissed as unimportant extras is so rewarding.

hi there <3 I’m hoping that you would be able to do a tokyo revengers matchup for me if its still open :)

my name is Samantha <3

my pronouns are she/her!

my personally type is ENFP!

my zodiac sign in virgo!

if i had to say what alignment i am, it would be chaotic neutral LMAO

im 5’7, slightly on the curvy side. i have long-ish, black curly hair and brown eyes. i wear round, black glasses. i have a couple of pierces and tattoos!

if you go on Pinterest and look up “Tumblr aesthetic 2014 grunge” and that is my dream aesthetic if i wasn’t so lazy - i only wear leggings and hoodies…

my favorite anime right now is Tokyo Revengers <3 also slightly obsessed with hazbin hotel and helluva boss

the games that my friends and i have played / play are - Twisted Wonderland and Obey Me

i have one cat and one dog <3

my favorite food is sushi! i also LOVE DR. PEPPER <3333 its like BAD

i feel like i dont have that many hobbies because i work ALOT. my friends say that i am a workaholic :( when Im at work, i basically run around like the world is going to end if that task isn’t done in the next two seconds. i have the mind set of “if you want things done right, you have to do it yourself” - which stresses me out and idk why I am like that HAHA

but when im not working, i love to write for my friends - mostly it will be about whatever fandom that we are into at the moment. (tbh i never end up finishing the stories because i get lazy haha).

my dream goal in life is to write angsty romance novel - like enemies to lovers (which is my FAVORITE TROUPE) and become an author.

as well, I am IN LOVE WITH MUSIC! every year that my Spotify wrap comes out my friends are SHOOK about how many different genres, artist and amount of time i listen to music for. for example, this year i listened to 75 different genres, 2,864 songs and 1,595 different artist!!

my top artist were : Pierce The Viel, Taylor Swift, Chase Atlantic, Rosenfeld, and Fall Out Boy :)

my top songs were : emergency contact, habits, this is why im hot, cardigan, and ceilings <3

my top genres were : pop, pop : indie, pop punk, rap, and alt z (whatever that is LMFAO)

this year i listened to : 32,897 minutes

my favorite thing to do is make playlist based on shows and characters to show my friends about how I feel <3

ive been told that i look very intimidating and mean, but once you get to know me im an uwu baby. that im very down to earth and emotional. but i make friends very easily - considering people have told me even though i look mean but i have an inviting aura which draws them in.

i’m pretty extroverted lol i make friends wherever i go and always see people i know whenever im out

i have a hard time expressing myself verbally. that whenever i try to tell someone how i feel about something, i start to get tongue-tie and stressed and upset. probably cause i feel too much at the same time :( so what i end up doing is just writing out how i feel and showing them (which is kind of rare lol)

but when Im talking about something that i love - Iiget loud LMFAO I start to talk with my hands more than i already do, i start talking very fast. then when i noticed that im doing that, i stop and apologize for being annoying HAHAH

my friends call me a tsundere (only applies with anime characters - not IRL people) because there will be a character that i cannot stand at first and then i will start to slowly like them and be VERY MEAN AND ANGRY ABOUT IT. eventually that character will turn into one of my favorite characters and i love them with all my heart - but will still be mad about it.

but tbh i’m such a hopeless romantic! if we’re dating i love you with all my heart.

my love language are : quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. i will want to spend all my time with you. i am a very touchy person. words of affirmation is very important to me because i am very self conscious about basically everything about me *sigh* BUT IM TRYING TO WORK ON IT <3

SORRY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE SO MUCH! SORRY IF NONE OF THIS MAKE SENSE LOL

i hope you have an amazing day! stay cool

Hi there. I can’t stay cool because I’m not cool lol. It makes sense and it’s not too much. The more info the easier it is to find your perfect match. Idk how far you are in Tokyo Revengers. Let’s do this and I hope you enjoy.

You Got…

Kokonoi Hajime!!!!

He loves romance. (If you’ve seen season 3 you kind of get it). Love is something he really wants. And when he falls, he falls hard!

He works a lot too, so don’t worry about him getting mad at you.

He is patient and kind of a sweetheart. He wouldn’t get annoyed by your hand talking and getting passionate.

He’s been good friends with Inui (Inupi, Discount Sabo, etc. Boy has so many names lol!!!!), who does express himself much. He’d be able to figure it out and help as much as he could (his solution probably would include money).

He’d tell you he appreciates and loves you as much as he can. He can be a little emotionally constipated. He’ll probably also buy you stuff to show how much he cares.

If you love a character or band, expect lots of merch from him.

He’d love to hear your stories, especially angsty romance. He’s kind of an example angsty romance so…yeah.

I think you two would have similar music tastes and idk why. If he isn’t a Swiftie, I don’t know anything anymore.

I have so many thoughts about Apollonia and Michael and how their relationship is romanticized (I know I'm beating a dead horse here) at Kay's expense.

I remember even as a kid when I first watched it, I was weirded out that grown ass Michael married a literal teenager. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember reading somewhere that Apollonia was even younger in the novel. Even in the novel, it was all but stated that he wanted to marry her just to get into her pants. And to see fans with either completely OOC/really misogynistic takes on why Apollonia was so much better for Michael leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

Then these same people will turn around and demonize Kay for *checks notes* calling out Michael for repeatedly lying to her and manipulating her. And I've seen this kind of popular take that Carmela would have loved Apollonia and that she hates Kay, but in the novel, she and Kay became super close to one another (they went to church together every Sunday for Christ's sake). Carmela even thought Kay deserved better than just waiting around for Michael.

LITERALLY... I had the exact same reaction of disgust when I watched it for the very first time too, all the way back in 2017! 👀 I was also concerned for Kay and thought I missed a chunk of the movie or something because he never really formally broke up with her. He just left her on vague and empty words.

Apollonia stans have been grasping at non-existent straws in this fandom for years lmfao. I've learned to gloss over it. If your entire praise and adoration for a character can only exist at the expense of shitting on one that wanted her family to be safe and for her to stop being lied to and put in harm's way, then... you really need to rethink how you're interacting with characters. 💀

I'm thinking maybe it's insecurity behind Apollonia's character. She served a purpose in Michael's brief characterization in Sicily and that was that. Feels like to me she was a filler character Puzo created and nothing more. Even if Apollonia ended up with Michael forever, I would still proclaim she deserves better than Michael. Any woman that ends up with a man as cruel and manipulative as Michael Corleone does.

this is the "what are the projects that are the foremost contenders for me to work on in my break between finishing SMST and starting lightless labyrinth and silent spiral" post. i want to give a general overview of what they are, the pros and cons of working on them, and how likely i am to dump time into them

this post got /disgustingly/ long, so to spare your dashes, under a readmore it goes

Partial rewrite of Life Out of Balance and add significant material to Lighting Out for the Territories

so, It Is Known that by a fairly wide margin, LOOB and LOFTT are the worst parts of WIAW. they're not complete write-offs, but they have foundational, structural issues that are like. breaking the series haha.

LOOB has one strong arc (annerose's story), which is very grounded and has a natural emotional flow to it, and has a strong thematic throughline. unfortunately it also has one weak arc (reinhard's story), where i couldn't really figure out how to pull together a like. strong enough thematic backbone to make it function as a /story/ rather than a disjointed series of events. the writing itself isn't bad, and there's a lot of things i like about the book (and, furthermore, there are a lot of people who like LOOB the best out of all the books), but this lack of coherency has set me up for major problems down the line. the book is also "fanfic-y" in a way that I would like to resolve-- secondary characters drift in and out of the story expecting the reader to already know and care about them, and events happen in a somewhat random way.

LOFTT compounds all of the existing problems-- reinhard's emotional arc continues to be slim-to-none, secondary characters are given even less development in this novel (except, maybe, muller), the narrative continues to be a series of events rather than A Narrative. it also fails to provide enough setup for the next novel, leaving the alliance side feeling completely bereft of the interesting meaning that the empire side has. most people who drop WIAW drop it at LOFTT-- it's an actively bad book that turns away readers.

also my timelines are jacked to hell and back 😩 which needs a fix in general.

so i would like to fix these problems if at all possible lmao

there are a couple thoughts i've had rolling around in my brain, some of which may end up fully happening, some of which might not.

the first option is to get rid of Reinhard's POV in LOOB entirely. i think this would be an interesting but difficult thing to do: rein is the main character, or he should be, but right now he's just sort of wandering around his own story. i think part of my problem is that i find a lot of other people's reactions to rein easier to write about than rein himself. i think it might be possible for him to have more of an impact on the story if, like in canon, people are recognizing him as this strange, maybe more-than-human force of nature, rather than being inside reinhard's "oh my god let me out of high school" head lmfao.

of course, this is actively counter to my intentions for WIAW as a whole-- i want to provide a humanizing story. (but what does it mean for 'nat rome' to humanize the victor? 🤔). but i think if i do this, i can maybe use that inhuman POV to make LOFTT more interesting, by suddenly being inside rein's head where we weren't before.

the second thing that should definitely be done is, as i said, give fredrica /way/ more screentime and chapters. i think building a contrasting narrative between the musel family and the greenhil family would be interesting and a good way to both get a greater worldbuilding depth in the alliance (get up close and personal with the politics earlier) and elevate fredrica from a secondary to a primary character.

similarly, i think caribelle needs chapters-- the story has not yet had an inside POV on the earth church, and having one i think would move it further into the realm of a concrete and vital plot element rather than something that exists and functions only because it exists in canon.

and it wouldn't necessarily happen until LOFTT, but jessica could also use some chapters. she needs to get radicalized i think.

granted, the issue with all of these things is like-- i can say "oh, i'll give these people chapters" but i don't actually have anything for them to do. which was sorta the problem with LOOB and LOFTT both-- there's just. events that happen because I needed An Event to happen to make the plot move forward to fill the book lol. so all of this is something that would need to be workshopped in a pretty severe way.

as you can see from the sheer volume i've written here, i'm fairly serious about this one as a project lol. i think if i'm going to rewrite these books, even in part, now is the time to do it, because it will set me up in a much better position to write lightless labyrinth. it will give me plot threads to work from, it will give me an emotional throughline that i can draw on, and it will stop me from feeling just plain bad about having to write rein's sections lol.

this would be a pretty ambitious project and i estimate it would take no less than 5 months, but it would also i think be worth that time.

the "alternative" to this is to write instead a whole bunch of short stories that attempt to plug all these holes. but this would make the existing reading-order problem much worse, while not meaningfully fixing the "LOFTT is a total turn-off to readers" problem, b/c nobody's going to stop reading LOFTT to go read a short story plunked down in the middle of it.

[TBD Phezzan novella]

this is also a WIAW project. this one i don't want to talk about /too/ much but it would probably be a dominique-POV side story that gives insight into the political situation on phezzan just prior to the alliance's invasion. i think it's necessary to give phezzan a whole lot more development politically, and there's no way to do that without an insider pov. in general i'd like to answer the questions of

where is rubinsky going and what is he planning post alliance invasion

what is the actual relationship of the earth church to the phezzan govt

what do dominique and kesserling hope to accomplish by putting him in the position of the alliance's puppet ruler

what is UP with that particular weird tangle of relationships [tie into the families overall narrative]

i'd want to keep it short, no longer than something like pictures of decency. if i don't decide to write this as a standalone project, it could get looped in to either the LOFTT added-material, or it would get folded into lightless labyrinth. but since it concerns events that happen prior, it probably makes more sense as a standalone. also it being standalone would make it easier to write, and i (and maybe this is silly of me) really like the WIAW novellas haha. i know they do nothing but confuse the timelines but they feel so nice in my brain

"finish" as in a mirror, dimly

what does it mean for my collection of short stories to be "finished" anyway lmao. there's a bunch i want to write that i think would make interesting additions to the collection, and i want to get the thing printed out, but i'm also aware that i could probably keep writing canon-compliant short stories for the next 10 years and not run out of things to say lol. so like where do i call that book done? what do i put in it? idk. but i like writing the stories and i have a vague list of them that i'd like to get through (+ a mental list of edits i'd like to do to the existing ones) so it might be fun to spend a couple months doing nothing but writing short fics

[untitled arle heinessen/book of exodus pastiche fic]

god. ok. while this is of all of these the least readable (i'm sure my audience is like. 10 people.) it is unfortunately the one i'd want to work on the most lol. i really want to write a verse drama......... unfortunately. the gist of it would be to write out the arle heinessen story as like a commentary on the foundational myth/civic religion of the Alliance, through the lens of the exodus narrative. writing it as a play i think would help me keep the scope in check (sitting down to write a novel i think it would get really out of hand lol), and i want to write a play real bad, and i want to write a verse play real bad, and i think it would be fun to give this project to "the real dietrich bronner" (since he's from the alliance, and is a playwright) and then have a frame narrative of Nat Rome's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Earth Trip to string up around it.

this is ofc the most self indulgent thing ever lol. but it really makes my brain soooo excited to think about writing it. so i really really want to. even if the end product is borderline unreadable 😂 i'm in my flop era i might as well embrace it lol

finish every hateful instrument

i can practically feel the like 4 people who read itsoh yelling and screaming at me through the screen to finish this one lol. i should. i really really should. i've been working on it on and off for the past several years, and it would be good to just sit down and actually devote my full and undivided attention to finishing it. i love it as a project and i think it's really in a solid place, and having an original novel that showcases exactly what my writing is like that i can hand to people has been something that i have wanted to have for a long-ass time.

the trouble is of course that i have like 4 readers for this project, a situation that is unlikely to change for the better in any significant way lol. so that makes it hard for me to justify working on it.

it's also a tricky and difficult project, and i expect it would take me minimum 9 months to finish. which is a huge time commitment, especially when i do have people waiting on WIAW. at least if i'm writing LOGH fic i'm still theoretically entertaining those people-- that is not the case if i jump ship and go to work on itsoh-verse stuff.

but otoh i fucking love working in the itsoh-verse...... so.

itsoh act 2 rewrite

this is a similar situation to EHI, except it's even less urgent b/c it's not a project that i'm currently in the middle of. i am going to rewrite itsoh act 2 eventually, but idk when the best time to do it is.

the plus side of this one is that it would be /way/ easier than EHI, b/c it's a second draft rather than a first one. I have already solved all of the problems, and just need to put it down on paper. so it would probably be a 4-5 month project, and it would be very nice to have the itsoh rewrite essentially current with itsoh itself (i'm ditching the entirety of what i have for act 3 lol)

the machine that builds the machine

this is a standalone fantasy novel that i want to write, that i have an outline for, that i wrote the first really bad chapter of when i was miserable with SMST, but haven't touched since. (the quick descriptor is like lesbian judasxjesus fantasy industrial revolution labor politics novel lmao.) anyway it would be a very fun project i think, and similar to EHI i would like to have An Original Novel to pass around, but this one got shunted to the back burner due to [gestures] everything else in the whole wide world. the brainworms that made me originally start it have also gone into hibernation, but i think i could get them out of their cryofreeze if i decided that i actually am going to sit down and work on it. this would also be a "i am intending to flog this out for traditional publishing" novel, but like, idk. who knows. we'll see where life takes us lol.

tomorrow ye will get your pay

aka the whale novel. if you haven't been following this saga, essentially there's a fellowship available at a local library that put out a call for proposals for Fiction Writing About Whales using research from their historical whaling collection, and i tailored a novel concept to put in an application for that. so if i get the fellowship, i'll 100% be writing this novel (literary fiction, ~80k words, due in the spring), and if i don't get it i'll 0% be writing this novel. i'll find out if i got it mid october, so i guess i'm kinda writing this whole post prematurely lol

since this one is short and more importantly on a deadline, i think i would have it out the door pretty quickly. but i've also never written literary fiction before. it would be a good break from everything else i think, and this, of all the projects, would be a good step in my ~~~writing career~~~ (for whatever that's worth, which, afaict, is nothing lmao)

something extremely random not on this list

it could be that when i finish SMST i'll just start writing the first thing that pops into my head, or i'll get assigned something for yuletide that will break my brain and make me want to write a novella, or whathaveyou. anything could happen. your duty, should you choose to accept it, is to Stop These Things From Happening. etc.

You. 🫵 Top 5 Moments in The Karate Kid Novelization

OHHHHHOHOHOHO

so for anyone who wants to read a lot of bits and pieces of the Karate Kid novelization, click the read more bc I uhhh. Well I went kind of crazy on this ask. Sorry, friend lmfao

1. Well I made a post about it before but CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT. But anyway, you and I both know the top moment is when we see what goes through Daniel's head as Mr. Miyagi gives him a bonsai and urges him to picture a tree:

"He saw it. It stood, a cypress on a cliff by an ocean, beaten and shaped by the harsh wind and salt air. Its branches withstood the environment and reached bravely for nourishment and survival. It was lonely and beautiful" (Hiller 39-40).

I love this moment bc it resonates with the theme of healing yourself and obtaining strong roots through reaching for help and connection from other people, and not falling to anger, bitterness, etc. Wounds can be healed, y'know? And Daniel is stronger than he looks, and not alone anymore. (Also how you mentioned it coincidentally reminds you of the bonsai in KK3?? INSANE!!)

2. Next would be all the moments that clue you in to how kind and considerate Daniel is toward his mother. He has his pissy teenage boy moments, but he loves his mom so much, and wants a good life for both of them, even at the expense of himself. A couple examples:

[After he is beat by Johnny on the beach]

"'Oh, Daniel! What happened?'

Daniel wanted to tell her something she could believe. She had enough worries of her own and he didn't want her to have to worry about him, too" (18).

Very very sweet. But Daniel, she's your mother!! She will worry, and you gotta be honest </3

[After The Cobras ran him off the road]

"'I'm sorry doesn't help, Ma. I want to go home. I don't understand the rules here.'

'You know, hon. I'm not so sure I understand them myself. It's been a little rocky here for me, too, though I've made it through three days without getting a black eye.' Daniel caught the twinkle in her eye and smiled despite himself.

... 'Let's get you cleaned up and we'll see if we can't figure out the rules together.' She put her arm around Daniel's shoulders and they began to walk to the apartment together" (37).

I love this moment!!! Lucille lets Daniel know they are in this together. They are able to share their hardship with one another, and bounce back from it not just to soldier on, but to be there for each other!!

3. Honestly, I thought it was cheesey at first, but from a literary standpoint, the Garden of Eden allusion/motif. Some examples:

[At first he sarcastically/bitterly thinks of "the Garden of Eden" his mother calls California. This is as he ponders about insecurities about Ali, then distracts himself with thoughts of his tree.]

"He thought of his bonsai tree and how he had pruned it and clipped it so that it almost looked like the picture in his mind ー the one thing that flourished in this Garden of Eden" (44).

I love the way he thinks back to his bonsai and what Mr. Miyagi has given him, but this passage is kind of saddening as much as it scratches my brain

[The last line of the novel presents the phrase very differently (positively). It is pretty cheesy, but it's grown on me. Context within the quote.]

"How can I go wrong, he thought, with a terrific man like Mr. Miyagi for a friend, the most beautiful ... girlfriend ... a mother who will spring for lobsters every time I win the All Valley ...

A guy could really turn on to a Garden of Eden like this" (131).

I'm happy for him! This is how the ending should always be! The joy!!

4. Bobby's moments make me fucking INSANE. I think it was handled pretty well, all things considered. So: Bobby Brown renouncing Cobra Kai.

[After being commanded by Kreese to take Daniel out of commission, then beginning his match with Daniel]

"Bobby stood still, his eyes locked with Kreese's. Daniel couldn't understand what was happening as he observed a battle of wills between Bobby and Kreese ...

Once again [Bobby's] eyes shifted to Kreese, then back to Daniel ...

From the stretcher, [Daniel] watched Bobby exit the ring to catcalls from the audience. Bobby stopped just long enough to untie and discard his belt at Kreese's feet and walk out, shattered.

The Cobra, it seemed, could be poisoned by its own venom" (119-120).

THE COBRA POISONED BY ITS OWN VENOM? SHATTERED??? yeah I'm insane about this. Bobby...Bobby...

5. Lastly, bc who cares about these gay bitches (me, I do), all the moments that could be associated with lawrusso if you squint:

"As their eyes measured each other, Johnny's body moved, catlike, into a karate stance ...

Johnny and his gang mounted their dirt bikes" (16).

Cat-like, huh...mounted you say...this is some strange description, Daniel

"[Ali] smiled at him one more time and rushed off, almost bumping into Johnny. Daniel realized that Johnny had witnessed his entire conversation with Ali" (20-21).

Why are you so close, so transfixed, Johnny...

"Calmly, [Daniel] smeared the gob of blueberry gunk on Johnny's shirt. Mayhem erupted" (30) ...

"Johnny just stared at him ... Silently, Johnny brushed Daniel's bicycle to the limit" (34).

:( The bullying moments ... PIE!!! PIE!!! I love what a little shit Daniel is there. This moment doesn't have the sensuality of the deleted scene though. But I do like Johnny's STARE in the next part

"So, he learned Johnny's class schedule and avoided him" (43).

I get it but also. Hmm. Okay...🏳️‍🌈

"Johnny stood in front of him, soaking wet. He put his hands on his hips" (49).

This is just hilarious cuz a lot of us like to call Johnny a Wet Beast for Daniel. Also hands on his hips is just a funny and endearing moment, what a shit lol

"Daniel carefully evaded Johnny's grasp, but realized it was going to be a losing battle. Johnny was bigger" (66-67).

THE EMPHASIS...HUH. I GET IT. BUT ALSO. OKAY...🏳️‍🌈

"For there, on the dance floor, was Ali ー dancing with Johnny. Johnny's eyes met Daniel's" (88).

Gayass

"He'd have to ... meet Johnny at the tournament, completing the battle they'd begun that first day on the beach" (96) ...

[After Daniel returns to the arena, and Johnny meets his eyes] "Daniel wondered for an instant if there was a slight flicker of relief in those stony eyes, but rejected the thought" (123) ...

"Daniel and Johnny circled, each looking for a point of attack, each oblivious to the rest of the rest of the world" (124).

The tournament! I love the phrases...the battle that begun on the beach...Johnny's recognition of and buried hope for Daniel...their eyes only for each other, for this fight...

[After the tournament] "Daniel had won the crowd's respect; he'd won Johnny's respect; most important, however, he'd won his own self-respect" (125) ...

"Finally, Daniel stood next to Johnny. They bowed. Their eyes met in genuine respect" (126).

I love Daniel's journey toward his self-respect, that is so important to me. But also Johnny's HEHEH....Cobra Kai take notes.

ANYWAY UH YEAH. THERE YOU GO. THIS LITERALLY TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR (PROBABLY MORE). LOL...

Hiiii Seb! @sugarcoated-lame back again! Hope you’re doing well and having a lovely day my dear!! <3 an ask you got about single dad Rhett & single mom reader where their children kinda set them up got me thinking about single dad jake and single mom reader except it’s like an enemies to lovers sort of situation 👀 you meet when you’re both called down to your kids’ school to meet with the principal bc Jake’s son and your daughter have been fighting/not getting along in class (you can’t tell me Jake’s kid wouldn’t be an absolute menace and love to pick on all the girls and pull their pigtails so to speak 😂). So maybe you don’t like Jake at first bc he’s a bit blasé about the situation, saying it’s normal, just kids being kids and that they’ll work through it on their own. Ya know, just being his usual cocky, smug self, saying he was a little rascal as a kid himself. So the two of you start arguing in the principal’s office (and Jake finds it super hot when you start yelling at him bc he definitely loves it when women are a little mean to him, and you can’t help but think about what a waste it is that someone that attractive would be such a dick) and the principal has to tell you both to cut it out 😂 You never hear about any further incidents between your kids again because unbeknownst to you, when they left the school that day, Jake told his son he should apologize and try to be friends. But every time you see him after that when you’re both picking your kids up from school, you’re rolling your eyes and glaring at Jake as he just waves, giving you that signature smug smirk. So your kids, now friends, conspire to get you and Jake together, each asking to be taken to the park on the same day and “running into each other” there. You’re left to sit on a bench with Jake while your kids play, staring straight ahead watching them in an effort to ignore his presence. Eventually when he can’t take any more of the tension he tries to talk to you, probably saying something like, “what, you’re not gonna yell at me today?” Joking around and trying to lighten the mood, telling you you’re really cute when you’re angry which leaves you blushing and trying not to smile. And that’s when you learn Jake is actually really funny and charming. And maybeeee that smug grin of his is actually starting to grow on you a bit, and he just wants to keep making you smile and laugh because it’s one of the most beautiful sights he’s ever seen. After a while of playing, your kids are running up to the bench where you and Jake are sitting, begging the two of you to take them out for ice cream and of course neither one of you can say no to your babies. So you go and get to spend more time with Jake, getting to know him a bit and watching him interact and goof off with his son and your daughter and you think maybe, just maybeee he’s not so bad. 🥹 I’m sorry this turned into a whole ass novel lmfao oops! 💜💜💜

AH!! my love, please don’t apologise at all!! we love whole ass novels in this household and i love this so much!!!! 🥹🥹

enemies to lovers with single dad jake and reader?? oooof. you’ve created something really special here!! because of course you think he’s an ass at the beginning, but then you get to know him and see how sweet he is with his son. you see that he’s had to practically raise his kid on his own all the while being a pilot in an elite ‘death’ squad and you understand that he must have a lot on his plate. you come to acknowledge that jake can’t always keep tabs on his son’s behaviour, but he’s trying his best.

you would offer to take care of his kid on days when jake was busy with work, seeing as he was such good friends with your little one anyway. a couple of play dates ended up with you staying in jake’s house so your little ones could sleep over together while jake was away for work. that then turned into you leaving jake dinner some nights, which then turned into you and jake finally sharing a kiss on his couch when he came home from work absolutely exhausted and so grateful you were there to look after his son.

thank you so, so much for this my love!! 💌💖

Lmfao help I totally forgot I scheduled my last post where I rambled about Jian Suiying in the tags (I probably scheduled it to seem more normal or something because I didn’t want to flood my feed 😂).

The reason I find it extra funny is because I literally feel like I’m going feral right now and I did just draft another Twitter thread ramble before coming on here and immediately seeing my scheduled post with those tags LADNSKDNS.

My Twitter is still on hiatus until further notice—aka when I am more comfortable interacting and sharing things socially—but over the past few weeks, my drafts have become very full of thoughts on LiJian (Li Yu and Jian Suiying) and YuBai (Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu).

And the main reason I feel so feral right now—as in right this minute—is because of the author of this really good fic (which I found thanks to the fan audio drama adaptation on MaoEr FM) that’s multi-chaptered where the premise is that a younger Li Yu ends up in the present day in Li Yu and Jian Suiying’s house. Li Yu is obviously very upset by this because he hates his younger self for how he treated Jian Suiying, and the story is about helping him heal from that past.

And well anyways this post isn’t about that fic specifically, although it’s a really good fic and I went crazy over it a while ago as well: since it’s told entirely in screenshots on Weibo at least, I actually captured every image of text until I had everything and then I MTL’d them using Google Translate and then I severely edited them on-and-off based on my own Chinese knowledge—so this included grammar and pronouns but also less obvious stuff where I had to check line by line or turn it into audio to listen to. 😂

It’s a really fucking good fic though. So worth it.

And well the author has done other versions; one is where a younger Yu Fengcheng gets transported into current Yu Fengcheng and Bai Xinyu’s life, and I’ve already collected every part of that one (it’s still incomplete).

Except it referenced a case where there were two Jian Suiying’s, a fic the author said they were planning to write back when they released the two Li Yu’s fic, which obviously made me a little feral.

I struggled to find it until I finally did (yay!!) alongside a masterlist of their fics in general (yay!!!), and I really really want to translate and read it right now.

But part of me also wants to save it—because I like saving things I like—to the end, since the author has other fics I can translate first, including one where Li Yu gets amnesia, which will definitely also be quite interesting.

And yet. I cannot get over the concept of there being two Jian Suiying’s and how that might resemble or reflect or differ from the fic where there were two Li Yu’s (especially since the two Li Yu’s one is just very thematically perfect).

I might just translate it first because I can barely resist??? I already translated the second half of the first part just to tease myself, and it has me screaming because like:

(The above screenshots are from this fanfic here by 丧心病狂de凌子 on Weibo!)

The image of Li Yu dragging whom he assumes is his spouse (and he is; just from a different time period) back home only to come face-to-face with his actual spouse (of this time period) being all cute in his soft cozy home clothes with a little mug instead of having gone out drinking (which the Jian Suiying from a different time period in his arms had been doing—as all the fics so far have had the person from the past end up in the present after getting blackout drunk) which was a thing about Jian Suiying that Li Yu used to worry about…

(The above screenshot is canon and from the original novel!)

Yeah do you see what I mean???

I’m just so excited because you’ll get the chaos of two time periods intersecting, but also because Jian Suiying used to go out to such places and it upset Li Yu a lot since he knows Jian Suiying’s past life and their relationship took so long to get to a good place that he’s afraid Jian Suiying will discard him again when out partying—so seeing Jian Suiying here, at home on time, patiently waiting for his husband to come home from his business trip…

*sigh* They’re pretty cute even after all the craziness of their original novel lmao. 🥹

And yeah. Typing all this out…I think I’ll translate this first out of all of the author’s fics. I’m going to go insane otherwise SLFNKSDJSKS.

"Stories should be permitted to even those who have failed." The ones that had forgotten about themselves weren't even allowed to enjoy the opportunities of the scenarios. The < Star Stream > gagged them, and made sure that their words would become incomprehensible to others. […Is that what you truly believe?] Douzhanshengfo asked, his unreadable eyes still locked on me. No, more correctly, he was looking at the power of Chaos rising out from my body. [And you wish to sacrifice your whole being and become an 'Outer God'?] "…That's correct." The Great Sage was yawning with a bored face during my answer and once he was done, spoke his opinion. [Are you done with your confirmation? I told you, didn't I? This guy's really like that.] […Indeed.]

Lmfao I love that everyone who gets to know Dokja is just "no seriously that's just how Dokja is" while everyone who hasn't been watching this wild, scheming little baby Constellation / Nebula run amok is like "no surely he must not understand the consequences."

Oh, he does. He always understands the consequences. He just does it anyway.

Hmmm but the whole thing with failed stories and "ones that had forgotten about themselves" thing again. Dokja has been talking about failed stories for so long now, in bits and pieces here and there. And we've had the idea of people forgetting themselves waaaaay back since Peace Land. Or, actually, even before that if you count the people who read TWSA forgetting themselves and becoming characters. (Man, haven't thought of those guys in forever.)

So I know that this is all building up to something really big but I'm just not certain what.

Besides me still vaguely theorizing that Dokja has gone through this story before and forgotten it, due to his story being ORV and ORV being a novel, and thus something that can be re-read, or Dokja being a part of Oldest Dream, who regretted what he did to Joonghyuk by giving him the power to regress and started the story over as Dokja.

Hmm, maybe Dokja is the one who failed?

Except I've always pretty much thought that Joonghyuk was the one who "failed" because Dokja has always hinted that TWSA ended on an unhappy note and he wanted to change that. And now we have confirmation that it actually did end with everyone but Joonghyuk dying. And for no reason since there's nothing beyond TWSA, meaning Secretive Plotter saw the "end" and it basically just...stopped. The epilogue hadn't been written/read yet.

And now Secretive Plotter wants to change that... supposedly.

I guess it could be quite literal. The ones who "failed" are the ones who died along Joonghyuk's turns and were forgotten in the end by everyone but Joonghyuk himself and Joonghyuk's final reader, Dokja. Just like the story is literally saying.

It's just I've gotten so used to ORV having so many layers of text and subtext so I'm like...there has to be something else to all this "failed stories" and memory issues stuff. Right???

Hmmmm.

Oh, but on another topic, I guess Dokja is Sun Wukong now??? At least one of him? Part of him??? Uh...permanently or...

And at least part of Sun Wukong is an outer god, but apparently that's nbd to him. 😂

Oh, and I guess I didn't realize that all of the outer gods "belong" to Secretive Plotter??? Like, obviously he is the most powerful of them all but I didn't realize that he is literally their "king" or that Dokja becoming one would make him "belong" to him as well?

Or, at least that's seemingly what the Wenny King believes, though it doesn't seem that Sun Wukong becoming part outer god has in any way stopped him from wanting to throw hands with Secretive Plotter so...

I thought that Dokja's deal with the Wenny King was somehow to the Wenny King's benefit but I guess it would have been to Secretive Plotter's? Or both? Thinking about it, I'm not entirely certain why either of them would even want Dokja as an outer god versus just killing him. I suppose it has something to do with Dokja being able to understand the other outer gods? Perhaps something to do with all the stories he's built up? Would Secretive Plotter be able to control him and get him to do something that he needs him to do???

Or maybe if he publicly became an outer god that would shift public opinion and possibly allow them into the story since he's too much a part of this story and he hasn't destroyed everything like Secretive Plotter did so there's still story to belong to, just like how one piece of Sun Wukong becoming an outer god immediately shifted the shares of Journey to the West. Just like Dokja thought it would.

idk...a lot is happening right now. 😂

😅🥺😈💥💔⌛📚😬🌞🧏‍♀️🎶💋? (I know it's a bit much, answer the ones you want)

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

literally go through my ao3 back catalogue and you'll find an answer to that. probably Starkillers. I liked it at the time but it's not held up well, it was my first attempt at slowburn but didn't really go that way.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

any moment where two people pining for each other finally embrace. that's some good shit right there.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

lmfao Skjald had some pretty nasty cliffhangers when I was writing that!

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

on my fics? fine if i ask for it. i'm not writing a novel here, you know. i'm writing silly little horny drabbles, i don't care if they're not perfect lmfao. for my real life writing it is a needed part of any project. :)

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

i don't think so! I usually write happy endings, because i'm soppy.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

not ages. i can write pretty quickly, so I'll sit down in an evening and churn out four or five requests when I'm in the mood.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

hopefully!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

i'd not be thrilled for them to find any of this tbh. a couple of my real life mates know about my fanfic but only the people i can utterly trust.

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I write in the evenings, after work!

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

not really, I like to write in silence or i get distracted!

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

love them love them love them. will read about a first kiss a thousand times

stuff to write masterpost

mostly for my own reference but it is always more fun and motivating to share so!!! perceive if u wish, if ANY of these get written it’s a win actually!!!

fics marked green are done fics marked orange are in progress fic marked blue are on hold for now!! anything else is not started yet!

ffvii:

secret fic for turks fan exchange:

Coloratura

aerti/zakkura/rdrn triptych of au oneshots, tied together by the fact that everyone goes to the same gym

rdrn fake dating for a mission bc i have ALL the confession dialogue ready to launch alrd and it’d be a waste not to deploy..... (i conceived her last winter and was hoping to time it with NYE whihc. that could still happen. lmfao. update: ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BC TIME IS FAKE, update to the update: welp yet another winter is coming up so .)

jjk:

ch 3 (final) of wellness grifter geto stsg au (Let’s Purify ✩ Body & Mind!!) -- posted the second chapter after only (checks watch) a year and two weeks lmao. this one is getting slept on bc i have zero presence in the jjk fandom and my timing sucks. but ill prob finish it someday since *i* think the idea is good so WHATEVER!!

trigun:

drunk and unsexy boys-will-be-boys vw: good old-fashioned lover boy (it ended up maybe a bit more sexy than intended)

less drunk but VERY sexy plant heat vw: Gun Barrel Red Hot

modern au kniveswood ft terrible manipulative relationship dynamics to uncritically emulate in real life: pov: you're the most fuckable person at the grocery store currently in progress; also a bonus little epilogue-like pwp pretty fixation

post trimax livvash, aiming for short but eternally traumatizing: say your name, forever

dark biopunk au for kniveswood bang: oxytocin running

og (finally regaining some urge to work on these):

lesbians caught in a snowstorm but actually caught in the mindscape of the Creature but actually caught in their own inability to do feelings pls god i just need to finish Any version of this -- a finished version now exists! idk if it's my best work but it sure is done :'') if i can get someone to edit it i may start shopping it around after!

hivemind jellyfish slayer turned good dad angst bonanza ditto above -- this is currently undergoing edits after brilliant feedback from from AJ!! i finished a version i was p happy with but after i incorporate AJ's edits it will become so much better

The Necromancers Are All Dead but make it flash fiction in order 2 reclaim my ability to have fun with a concept without spending sixteen months with it first -- speedran a version of this in my little writing illegally at work notebook, i don't really know what this story wants to be yet but at least ive sat with it for a while

novel ideas wanna be attended to; am reattempting some expanded synopses bc given some distance, some of my ideas were perhaps more substantial than i gave them credit for wahoo

updating this periodically for the rush of ticking items off a list <3

no because the last thing i was expecting was fyodor’s backstory all of a sudden 😭😭 personally, i was thinking his backstory would be him beinf a somewhat “normal” person until spiraling into the mindset he has now. i definitely don’t think it’s over for him though, even if it means someone else is carrying out his plans

i also think the anime ended at atsushi and akutagawa so that viewers will run to the manga (which is still behind 💀). i feel like season 6, after they adapt whatever light novel, will open up with either the events leading up to the ending scene or fyodor’s backstory

also the theory with fyodor manipulating fukuchi does make sense!! fyodor can definitely twist things so that the whole plan they came up with seems like the only solution. seeing that part again with fukuchi + fukuzawa at the end though made me :((

also always feel free to share more theories, i’d love to hear them <3

omg yeah. this may be an unpopular opinion but i’ve never really wanted any of the “fyodor isn’t human” theories to turn out bcz i really like him as human lmfao. 😭 or the he being centuries old LMAO no wonder he sometimes reminds me of muzan kibutsuji. niki said maybe “demon fyodor” is quite literal lol. but tbh i really wanted to see kid fedya—my bad i think i’m so biased by all the childhood bsfs to lovers i’ve read on here haha

exactly !! + they also did fukufuku’s entire scene so that the finale could cut out the entire sigma’s memories from it. (omg it’s so long idek if we’ll see my fav aku & atsushi by may LOL)

EXACTLY with the manipulation !! and the last panel too :< i didn’t think it could even be sadder than the anime but… :’)

okay current theories !! (light beast & dead apple spoilers)

i have a couple on wtf is going on with fyodor. my initial thought and what i still think is most reasonable is that he fornicated his memories with his(?) ability somehow beforehand because imo i find it crazy he actually let sigma look through his memories and just leave him there w/out taking extra precaution? then the time travel theory could be possible because the amenogozen exists…so it wouldn’t be that far off? 🤷🏻‍♀️ (can you tell i’m still in shock + don’t want to accept the immortality direction we’re currently going in)

this one which i’ve been thinking about for awhile !! (this is also my favorite one.) obviously fyodor is super smart, so i found it odd that dazai is the only one who knows about the multiverse. i pointed out how i was super nervous dazai implied he didn’t get something for once (him saying “i just don’t get it…”) and then @chuuyrr brought it up later, saying this could be how fyodor was one step ahead. he could’ve figured out about the multiple universes too (without dazai’s knowledge) + he was able to get his hands on one page of the book. also mentioning the scar he has in this chapter to further add to our theory.

finally…okay i’ll address it lol. in dead apple where fyodor gives his infamous “crime and punishment” speech, it implies there is a duality or separation of his ability (literally crime as one persona and punishment as another.) there are so many parallels to fyodor’s situation in this chapter—him with ace (conversation), the helicopter (stabbed with a metal rod/he is about to get speared.) so, it would make sense that some type of resurrection/not being able to die power could be part of his ability, even if we’ve seen that his ability is that he kills people with a touch. two parts.

anyways, those are my theories on specifically fyodor. honestly, all of them could be wrong. any previous assumption i had was already shattered by this chapter, so we’ll have to wait until april to see whether they’ll be mended or further disintegrated HAHA.