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polyamorousmood · 2 days

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Hey there :)

So I have no problem with my bf dating other people, and recently hes started having sth with someone else. Good for them! Legit, no problem with that by itself

But.. now I'm being left on read a lot, like majority of the time it feels like, no matter the topic or time. I just feel.. forgotten, I think, or replaced idk. But it feels pretty bad.

I dont want them to think I'm jealous or mad, I just wish he would still show me the same attention/care as before. Ive talked about how left on read makes me very insecure, due to fake friends and person past experiences before so I dont want to bring it up again.. but it hurts. Idk what to do?

Bad news, babe. You're gonna have to say something again. The good news though is that you can productively procrastinate it, because there's some stuff I want you to do first.

But before I get into that, I let having a cool opening distract me from very important other things that need said: That sucks, and I'm really sorry, but you can make it through this.

Now then. Time to productively procrastinate a difficult conversation. Look, I'm procrastinating it more by making it a read more! (It, um, it is A Lot. I took "blogging platform" literally on this one😅)

It sucks. Believe me, it bothers me too when I can't hear from my partner📵📴 because they're with my meta. It has been A Problem I've had to work through, so I think I'm actually pretty qualified to give advice on this.

Some of what I have to say is going to smart (old-timey word for sting) a bit, so I want to make it clear that I understand where you're coming from, so you can trust the part that stings is necessary. I imagine its something like this:

You relationship with your boyfriend is great! So great, you're happy for him to have someone else to love! That's. That's so rare and incredible, its a love beyond what most will know. And then he takes that love and wads it up and throws it in the back seat to make room for this new schmuck. The love is still there, it's just... in the back seat. And you never thought that would happen, because the relationship is so good! And you already said something, so you worry you're being a nag, which you don't want, because you ARE happy for them, you're so happy for them... except when you're not because you can't be happy when he can't be bothered to text you back. Its not really so much to ask, and you EXPLAINED why its important to you, so why doesn't he seem to care? You communicated, you did your part, and it was hard and scary! Surely harder than texting you back would be! And you don't want to feel like this, but. There's this anxiety that... shouldn't he want to text you back? Isn't that how he would act if he really did still care about you just as much?

Any of that resonate? I don't know you, so maybe some of it was way off base🎯, I don't know. But I hope enough of it was close enough to right that you know I get it when I say:

This isn't just your boyfriend fucking it up. This is, in part, probably you asking something unreasonable. To give you the exact same level of time an energy as when it was just you too is a big ask. To be able to supercede his time with the other person any time you want is a big ask. If you're only okay with your boyfriend having someone else if it doesn't cut into your time at all, how okay with it are you actually?

So before you talk to him about it, you gotta step back. Its not that you're wrong for feeling sidelined. But a poly relationship just isn't going to be the exact same as a monogamous one. It it were, I wouldn't have bothered making a blog, and I wouldn't have needed to because I wouldn't have a trail of loving, wonderful, burnt to ashes monogamous relationships behind me. Let's take a deep breath together. Pause here if you need.

Now, there are some questions here that do affect what I think would be fair. For example, if you're living with your boyfriend, and he's taking you for granted, always texting the other person when he's with you, you don't have any special time with him anymore, and then when he goes out its radio silence. That's a very different situation from you being in a long distance relationship so texting is your main form of communication/bonding and now he's got a new person that lives near him so he's with them constantly and now, what are you, chopped liver? for example. I'm going to give a list of things you might be doing that's unfair, and I want you to take a minute and evaluate as honestly as you can where you fall on that. This is a self-reflection, not an accusation, so please resist any temptations to get defensive (if you even feel them). I recommend taking out a pad of paper and committing to an answer for each. Some you may not be doing at all! Some okay maybe a little. And some now that you think about it, yeah actually, you're doing a lot. That's okay. You not handling it perfectly is okay, and doesn't mean we can't ask the boyfriend for accommodations still.

Are you valuing 1:1 time with your boyfriend as much as you're valuing (negatively) the time he spends 1:1 (not texting you) with his partner? IE, are you more bothered by him not texting you than you are appreciative when he takes time for you?

Are you texting him compulsively out of anxiety instead of because you have something more important to discuss?

Are you accidentally infringing on his other partner's time?

Are you trying to infringe on his other partner's time to reassure yourself that you're important to him?

Are you texting him to "test" him?

When you communicated that you didn't like being left on read, did you properly convey how big of a problem it is for you and what your expectations were?

When you communicated, did you allow space for negotiation and to work on the problem, or was it more like a list of demands?

Are you misplacing your feelings somehow? Is there something else that's bothering you that you don't feel comfortable bringing up?

Are you letting your anxieties run you? Is there something you could be doing to address your feelings?

Are you forgetting to weigh other allocations or shows of love he's making or you?

Is there anything else internally you might be overlooking in regards to this?

Whew! Heavy stuff. But you made it!🎉 Now, we'll dig into how his actions are making you feel. That last set was about what you could be doing better, and this one will help determine he could be doing better. But just like we weren't making accusations about you, we aren't making accusations about him either. We are assuming good faith on your boyfriend's part. This is still ultimately about your feelings and what reasonable accommodations could be made for them.

Do you feel the time allocation for you vs his other partner is fair? Why?

Does he seem to text them back more than you?

Does it seem like he's not taking your concerns seriously enough?

Does this issue look like a larger pattern? If so, what? How will that look long-term?

Has he made specific promises he hasn't kept to you in regards to this? If so, what were they and how hasn't he lived up to them?

Do you feel he's made adequate time for you to discuss concerns, or do you feel like he tries to rush through them?

Do you think he gave you a reasonably clear expectation of what him dating someone else would look like (or did he make it seem "nothing will change")?

Has he not responded to something critical?

Is there anything else he's done in regards to this that doesn't sit right with you?

You did it! 🎉Now we can officially start working on problem-solving. I imagine that was a lot more than you bargained for, for such a simple problem as "I want a text back," but its important to get everything laid out. This helps in a lot of ways. It helps guard against striking on a "solution" that isn't actually sustainable. It makes sure you're starting a discussion in good faith. And hopefully, it will help minimize having to return to the issue.

For the sake of formatting, we're going to address the questions for you first, then the questions about him, then how to have the hard conversation, then workarounds that you may not have considered that aren't really your or his problem. I actually think that third group has some of the better "quick fixes", if you can find one that works.

Starting with the questions about what you could be doing better, in order, skip any that don't apply:

Re: valuing 1:1 time -- Make active efforts to appreciate the time you do have more. Use this time as a guard against negative thoughts when he is unable to respond ("We spent all day together yesterday, a few hours today without hearing from him is fine")

Re: texting compulsively -- Be more vigilant about self-soothing. I find self-talk to be most effective for me. I cannot possibly cover everything here, but it sounds like it stirs up fears you're losing your partner. Since you cannot guarantee that will never happen, I find it most helpful to reassure myself I will be okay even if I do lose them. Another option is to make a reassurance bank, where you can store and see evidence of his affection without asking it from him. Your mileage may vary. If you really struggle with this, there's always therapy.

Re: accidental infringing -- Be more mindful of what you send. Save things that are non-urgent to discuss later, when you have his attention anyway.

Re: deliberate infringing -- Stop it. It will only strain things and make the outcomes you don't want more likely. See self-soothing. Find something else to distract you that you can put energy into.

Re: "testing" him -- See above. I know, its easier said than done. Do the hard work. That shit can ruin your life.

Re: didn't adequately express importance -- Well, its a good thing we're about to talk about it anyway! Really think through how you can explain how badly it makes you feel. We'll get into that more when we discuss How To Have the Conversation

Re: list of demands -- Well, its a good thing we're going to talk about it anyway! This time, see it as a negotiation. Ask him if that's feasible, or if its too much. But open to trying alternate solutions.

Re: misplaced feelings -- Take the advice on How To Have a Conversation and apply it to the thing that's actually the problem.

Re: managing anxieties -- Again, you'll have to find a way to self-soothe somewhat. That's not to say your partner shouldn't meet you halfway, but you do have to do your half.

Re: forgetting other expressions of love -- Literally make a list of all the things he's done/is doing for you. As many as you can think of. Add to it often. Pick a couple and do a deep dive on why that mattered so much to you and how you felt. Tell him, too. You gotta be grateful consciously, bro. This applies to all of life

Re: anything else -- Take that into account. Work on that, too, however you can. Be honest with him about your shortcomings when you address it.

A lot of these will require upkeep on your part (kind of mirrors🪞how texting you back consistently requires upkeep on his, huh?). Be prepared to discuss the changing you're going to make and have an actionable plan for them. Okay, his turn, same as before:

Re: fair time allocation -- does he need to make more time for you? Do he need to make protected time that is only for you? You said you feel forgotten, replaced, so maybe this is part of it.

Re: unequal texting -- first, consider why. If he lives with you, he's probably going to have to text the other person in front of you sometimes. If you still think its too much, again, protected time for you may be appropriate, he may need to do a better job keeping his New Relationship Energy (NRE) in check. Be prepared to discuss this, possibly including him defending himself!

Re: not taking concerns seriously -- Well, its a good thing we're discussing this again! Make sure you have an actionable, measurable metric he can do to show you progress here. (IE ❌"I need you to care more" ❌ but ✅"When you're unable to respond, I need you to say that you're busy so I know you thought of my needs" ✅)

Re: bigger patterns -- You will have to tell him you're concerned about those too. If it could become untenable for you, this will probably be a recurring discussion. Consider scheduling check-ins where you say one thing you think is going well and one thing you're worried about, for example.

Re: unkept promises -- here, you are super justified in being mad. Try not to be anyway. Try to be curious and interested in addressing the root problem. Ask him what got in his way, what middle ground he's confident he can manage. It is you and him vs the problem, even here, not you vs him.

Re: inadequate room to discuss -- Set expectations before the talk, and remind him of them if he forgets. (IE "I know this isn't nice to hear, but I need you to let me say my piece and talk through solutions, even if it takes awhile." and "I said I needed to talk through the solution. This sounds nice, but I'm concerned about X. How can we make sure that doesn't happen?") Consider reserving specific time to discuss it, consider reserving recurring time to discuss any problem, if you need it.

Re: didn't set expectations appropriately -- ask. Ask what this would ideally look like to him. If he's having trouble getting started, point out some differences you've already noticed, and ask if he thinks those are the new norm.

Re: didn't respond to something critical -- Establish a way he can see what is critical and what isn't. This might be texting something that can wait, but calling for something important, for example.

Re: anything else -- address that too. Give him a chance to explain himself. etc.

Okay, you've done everything up to this point alone. You're prepped. Now How Do You Have The Conversation?

For this type of stuff, I recommend the WIBS format. That is, "When [something happens], I feel [feelings] Because [explanation] So could you please [change]". But of course, it can't be that simple either. Critically you CANNOT say "you" before the "so could you please". The example I'm about to give is going to use the texting issue specifically, but if you've done the soul searching and found there's a bigger problem you want to address (which ngl, sounds like there might be something bigger based on what you sent), adjust accordingly! This is good general advice for any tough conversation. Anyway, here's what that might look like on the texting thing:

"When I am left on read, I feel anxious and betrayed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. So could you please make a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

But wait a minute! That doesn't include any of the bullshit I just made you do. What the hell am I trying to pull? Okay okay, so we have to modify this a bit. Our new format is going to be something more like this: "When [something happens], I feel [feelings and impact], because [explanation]. I have tried [things you've tried], and I am still struggling because [reason why that hasn't helped, including what you could do better]. So I was hoping to look at some more solutions, like, would you be willing to try [change]." Which might in practice look something like

"When I am left on read, I feel so anxious and betrayed I start spiraling thinking the relationship is doomed, because I've had a lot of friendships completely fall apart, and that's always how it started. I have tried dropping some hints and self soothing, and I'm still struggling because this is a really bad anxiety that I didn't have to deal with before recently and even with the hints I'm not getting the response rate I would like. So I wanted to talk about it and see if you'd be willing to try making a point to text me something when you read my message, even if its just 'lol' or you saying you want to discuss it later."

And then! The discussion continues. Maybe he says "oh my god, yeah, I didn't realize it was bothering you that much, absolutely I can do that" and maybe he says "I'm with you all the time how is this still a problem?" or maybe its "actually, [other partner] gets really anxious when I text, which is why I don't respond unless its important. I figured I could talk to you about dinner plans any time" and whatever the case is, you keep talking until you've set on clear goalposts and have reassurance they feel okay to all parties. So in order, your responses might be something like "are you sure you can manage that? I was really worried by my hints not being picked up on that that was the reason", "I know its a problem. That's why I'm talking to you about it. If that's not a good solution to you, let's come up with something else, because the way things are is really hard on me," and "okay. I don't want to make [other partner] anxious either, but this isn't working for me, can we find something else to try?"

Allow him to explain, be prepared to explain more yourself, and be willing to try a variety of solutions. Acknowledge

Is this my longest post yet? Maybe! Wild. Let's top it off with something easier: The Hack Solutions🧑‍💻. Sometimes, anxiety isn't logical, and goofy workarounds can be super helpful! Here are some off the top of my head, but feel free to get creative, too! Not all of these may be feasible, not all of them may help. But a lot less work than some other solutions so worth mentioning!

You said being "left on read" is what bothers you. Can you just... turn off read receipts? Or switch to a messaging app that doesn't have them? Can he just not read your texts until he has the time to respond?

A lot of phones have a driving mode, that will send an automated reply to texts. Can he turn that on when he's with his other partner so you get a reply like "hey I'm busy rn, but I'll text back later!" and would that help?

If you just want to feel more involved, maybe it would help if he just like, took a picture of his pizza to send to you. Reminds you you're thought of, doesn't require conversation.

Something that I've done with friends is write like, a dozen short affirmations/reassurances, and have them keep them in a special spot. When they need to feel loved, they can take one out to read. This has worked PHENOMENALLY for them, and still protects your partner's time away while allowing you to get love direct from your partner WHENEVER you want.

Can he just kick it with you both concurrently?

Can you have a friendship with your meta where you text THEM like "tell [bf] to text me back real quick" and then your bf doesn't feel bad about texting in front of the other partner because they're telling him to do it?

Classically condition yourself. Like, every time he leaves you on read, eat a chocolate. And then sometimes instead of it being "boyfriend won't text me :(((" it'll be "oooo! candy time!"

ai yai yai! That's all I have, though! Come back if you need help working through some specifics. I'm very happy to help however I can. Its not your fault you're struggling with this. Most polyam relationships have to deal with this to some extent, but with a little effort, you can make it through. Best of luck to you, friend. 💙💖🖤

#poly relationship advice #ask box is always open #long post #polyamory #jealousy

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statiicstag · 2 days

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[ ooo im seeing a lot of people talking about their alastors and how they handle relationships today makes me wanna join in !! yapping under the cut

i honestly think part of why i was so intimidated to bring my interpretation to tumblr was specifically because of how he handles emotions and how it could be seen as ooc (which I see now why does that matter there's so many unique ways to write this guy lol) in the way that mine is not completely emotionless but oddly emotional and That is what fuels him to be the way he is

mine is mostly fear driven and that I diverged from the finale where he's blatantly freaking the fuck out about nearly dying for the hotel. now the way I read that I honestly think he was just trying to show off by killing Adam and didn't expect to be nearly killed but the fact he'd nearly sacrificed his life for someone else clearly horrifies him, and i don't necessarily think its because of attachments to the hotel but even the vague Idea that, if he DOES form attachments, this is what happens he nearly dies

and i personally think that's the root of all his problems: he doesn't experience love like a normal person, he equates love with ownership (he considers husk a friend canonically yet he has him on a leash, same with niffty he canonically cares for her) i think he thinks he has to force someone to stay by his side or they'll walk away and his care will be tor nothing. and i think he has a very "eye for an eye" mentality—like each party has to be Doing Something for the other party to stay involved, love itself isn't enough. i also truthfully write him as fearful of the hurt that can come with letting someone in and caring about them, because that's a weakness

i think the reason he's so comfortable keeping rosie as a friend and not under his thumb is because she doesn't seek him out? like they have a mutually beneficial relationship for him, he can come and go, vox was Too Much and it frightened him so he self sabotaged the relationship to avoid pain

most people he just wants to be of use to him—he views others like pawns, and if you can't provide either entertainment or some kind of service, you're useless

clearly all this can be pushed past I have several ships on this blog he actually cares for but overall even at the beginnings of those, he sees them as someone he has to sink his nails into and own to a degree (though that can be worked past too). and good luck getting an i love you out of him, its simply not how he operates. anyone whose walked away from him has walked away with claw marks embedded in them ]

#【 ☓ 】 ❙ THIS BROADCAST HAS ENDED. ❙《 ooc. 》࿏#【 ☓ 】 ❙ PULLING ALL THE STRINGS. ❙《 headcanons. 》࿏#[this got. Long if you read this I love you]#[idk to a degree this probably Is OOC but hes mine and i love himb]

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blitz0hno · 2 days

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Mikoto's amnesia, denial, and the order of events in MeMe

So my theory about the memories detailed in MeMe, as per Milgram's record of Mikoto being the "guilty one," is pretty simple. The events in the outerworld are completely jumbled, and I believe the bulk of them take place right after Mikoto's "first" murder if there were indeed multiple victims. This is gonna be a very basic look at the "flashback"/"real-life" sequences in MeMe. I feel like this may have been done before but I mostly just see analysis on the headspace/symbolism in the video and not the implications of the real-world bits, but this video has been discussed to death so I can't be the only one who's thought about it lol

In the first part of our timeline, we see lots of static and Mikoto swinging a bat at someone as the train goes by. I imagine the tracks were where the body itself was disposed of. Mikoto's "dream" shows faraway 3rd-person angle and it's almost as if he's watching "himself" commit the crime. However, the face of the victim, his own expression, and the injuries inflicted are obscured from his view the whole scene.

It abruptly cuts to him entering his house after this, which is where I believe Mikoto's memory starts to get patchier. The moments after a trauma are when the brain is still reeling from shock, after all. After his first dream sequence where he expresses confusion, I believe the second verse is filling in the gaps of what happened between finishing the crime and changing his clothes. You can't lie in Milgram though, and sharing a brain means sharing memories, no matter how deeply they are buried. The memory gets more detail as he is examined more, and it's already common for brains to remember things out of order. Mikoto is shown to be in-and-out of his headspace in MeMe; the memories of how "he" saved "him" (the other alter, likely a big part of who John would become) are not all his own, even if the choice to kill was.

I believe that chronologically, this is the next scene.

Presumably John, processing what they've done, recognizing himself as "not Mikoto" for the first time. Mikoto, then, is seeing "himself" from yet another angle, completely upside-down.

It abruptly cuts again, his jacket having been taken off. His face is once again obscured, like Mikoto remembers doing it but not as "himself."

The angle here is more first-person, implying that Mikoto clearly remembers "dreaming" this part.

This is right before he goes home. He's disposed of the beanie, and presumably the jacket and bat.

Mikoto walking in his door immediately after the confrontation is likely exactly how he felt at the time. I believe this next line of dialogue is an alter, likely John or pre-John, speaking to him. "You don't have to keep it in and hide it away, 'I' will save 'me."" (Worth mentioning that "Boku" is used both times here.) It's the first time in the song he refers to himself as "you," which I feel like is pretty common for alters to do to each other even before they realize that they're completely separate ego states. This cut from the first verse, where it jumped right after the murder, shows him in the same pants and shirt he took the trash out in. This implies that Mikoto blacked out most of the way home, which tracks for an event as traumatic as killing a guy.

This part abruptly cuts to him on the couch, in new clothes and no longer covered in blood. As I said earlier, I believe Mikoto's memory begins to come back in bits and pieces as Milgram scans it, which is why the second part is where we actually see him getting cleaned up.

Just as he realizes he's fading in and out, and there seems to be someone on the other side who "doesn't care" that they've killed someone, he gets kicked back into headspace. Since he's in Milgram, that space could be defined as the present moment, while the memories themselves are reflecting more like flashbacks than a linear story.

That's why we see this part so early, even though it happened after his clean-up work.

Here we see Mikoto's alter, either John or "Midokoto" (plausible 3rd alter show urself challenge impossible likely literally impossible look at that trauma-holding sonofabitch) banishing Mikoto to the shadow realm /j. No blood, new clothes, numb to the world and very clearly trying to forget. "That had to have been a dream" type shit.

Ironically, alters who the host doesn't notice know when they're controlling the body better than the host, who takes it for granted like they're supposed to. If you don't know what DID is, it's easy to be aware that you are technically "working together" with yourself but not understand why it feels that way.

We're also shown this scene where he comes home from work, in the instrumental between Mikoto's Denial choruses. This is the answer to his question of "why?". He was running himself ragged and literally watching himself fall apart from the stress. Assuming he threw out that jacket, this could be interpreted as the days leading up to the murder.

Given that he doesn't have his beanie despite retaining the rest of the outfit, it could also be him continuing to go through the motions and act like the event didn't happen in the days after. I sure wouldn't throw out that shirt, it's a cool shirt. (Actually, it's such a cool shirt that I personally think it further proves the lack of pre-meditation, but like he still did it lol)

I think that in Mikoto's case, the farther away the camera is, the farther "our" Mikoto is from the front. It all happened so fast that his decisions were carried out for him, despite Milgram and his own sense of guilt determining that he himself was the one to take that path.

I don't think he's just talking to Es when he becomes more intense/angry about "why am I here?". I think he's speaking to his alter(s) as well. But I'm only allowed 10 images so I'll post about that later. The line "You don't have to keep it in and hide it away" from when he walks in his door contrasts directly with "Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn't change a thing does it?" Says a lot about how he dismissed his own stress and desire for change, unwittingly dismissing the pain of the people trying to help him.

He literally knows not what he does grrrrrr how dare this project be so fucking cool and good

#milgram #mikoto milgram #john milgram #mikotoposting #haha #again!!#meme milgram #milgram theory #possibly plate-of-corn type post #but like #the out-of-order memories about what could conceivably take up all of 1-5 hours of time #is so real #bitch got Unstuck in Time #me when slaughterhouse v changed my brain chemistry regarding how memory works

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bonzos-number-1-fan · 1 day

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Putting the CAT# Back in the Bag: The Flaws With Person/Place/Object

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".

I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.

Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.

So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.

Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.

Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.

We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.

There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?

The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.

As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.

People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.

What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.

CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.

CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.

CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.

CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.

CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.

CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.

CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.

CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.

CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.

CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.

This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.

CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.

CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.

If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.

What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.

This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.

CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.

Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.

CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.

The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.

Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.

The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.

Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.

I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.

Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.

That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theory #tmagp speculation #klaus = kl4-u5

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dwreader · 3 months

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making a whole marketing campaign about an abuse victim being an "unreliable narrator" is deeply irresponsible and is exactly why your fandom is the way it is.

#it honestly doesn't even matter what happens on the show itself #the idea is already ingrained that whatever happens isn't the truth until it comes from lestat #so amc can go fuck off

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mewtwo24 · 10 days

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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

#mdzs #i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh #and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit #and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on #idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance #that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all #how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones #how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall #how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances #how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places #always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome #no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him #i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem #how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride #how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance #that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life #how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time #he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen #even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned #god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD #will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg #while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing #i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it #also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression

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aeide-thea · 1 year

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very much an off-the-cuff post so there may well be bugs, i'm still workshopping my thinking here, but—

i seem to see posts fairly regularly in which a member of some marginalized group A is objecting to attempts by less marginalized group B to make connections between discrimination against A and harm experienced by B (the main thing i have in mind here is when people attempt to align themselves with visibly-trans people by pointing out the ways that transphobic legislation also impacts gnc cis people, theatrical crossdressing, &c, but there are definitely also examples along other axes)—

and like. the main objection i've seen from A is 'why do they have to connect my experience to their experience in order to care about it? why can't they just agree that i shouldn't be discriminated against as a matter of, like, compassion for fellow humanity?'

and this reaction does honestly always just seem a little, idk, naive to me?? like, i don't know, it's gotten very popular ime to complain about normies' clumsy attempts to Understand Instead of Just Accepting [this feels potentially linked to like. the way many of us now prefer silently clicking 'like' to producing our own original, maybe clumsy, responses? but don't @ me on that point], probably because a lot of the time they aren't genuinely seeking to Understand but just to point out all the ways our queerness &c doesn't fit their received (unexaminedly conservative) understanding of the world, which feels to us (very reasonably!) like renewed pressure from the establishment to make ourselves fit that established framework, and so we resist… but at the same time, idk, maybe i'm just outing myself as lesser-than-thou here, but for every sort of person i was raised to distrust and have since arrived at genuine loving acceptance/appreciation of, it's involved first coming to understand their frame of reference at least a little? not to say that there isn't a place for shutting up and listening while you're still working to understand, because there definitely is! but i do kind of think this idea that's become popular in certain liberal circles of like, 'you don't have to understand my experience, you just have to respect it,' is fine and true for keeping peace with strangers, but really isn't a recipe for winning friends or influencing people—it's a recipe for keeping people at arm's length where they can't hit you. and then people turn around and want to apply that rule to coalition-building, and get all shocked-pikachu-face when others seek to identify more active points of connection.

...

another ~Radical Objection to Liberal Approaches~ i've seen, though often not specifically in this context (of discussing the way attempts to oppress A have knock-on effects for B), is like—'there's no point in deconstructing their logic because it's fundamentally illogical! insert that sartre quote abt anti-semites!' and like. no, there's absolutely no point in debating their logic with them. but fundamentally when people assert a logical resistance to bigoted positions they are not doing it to Own The Bigots, imo, or at any rate shouldn't be; they're (we're) doing it to reaffirm the basis of their/our own camp's position, namely, we see your knee-jerk fears and reject them; we substitute instead a patient allegiance to logic, that reasons its way into compassion.

that said, obviously there's a conversation to be had here about, like, platforming bad positions, and to what extent deconstructing them is implicitly platforming them! but. i do think that complaining that logic won't win over bigots is missing the very fundamental point that the logic isn't for the bigots: it's for us. we're talking to ourselves; we're affirming ourselves. and yeah, we need to understand that this sort of intra-party discussion doesn't, on its own, constitute sufficient activism! messages need to be communicated beyond the bounds of the party! but i do think i disagree that there's no place for it.

#anyway i'm just sticking this all under a cut bc it got very long and i didn't arrive at a nice tidy overarching conclusion #but i guess i just think like. i'm not convinced that resisting people's attempts to understand a struggle as linked with theirs #is ever going to be a strategy that makes any sense—#i just think it's coming from a place of woundedness that wants its pain to be Seen and Matter In Itself #and not get ignored until someone else is also impacted #and like. that's SO emotionally valid! god! but also like. that's feelings and not a basis for politics???#and the second point here—#which honestly could've been its own post; i was just thinking abt the two points together bc i saw a post that made them together—#really feels to me like. showing up at an internal org meeting and then complaining that it doesn't constitute effective public messaging #like yeah‚ people pass posts around on here that aren't gonna convince conservatives #but like. (a) how much convincing of conservatives do you really think is gonna happen on tumblr anyway?#and also (b) then make your own posts that *are* angled at convincing conservatives! or‚ you know‚ do something that isn't posting!#(in b4 'some of us have disabilities' yeah‚ me too! i emailed my representatives the other day! there's stuff you can do!)#but like. everybody just wants to critique other people's efforts (and obviously as per this very post i'm not immune!)#when it's like. most of what we're doing *isn't* activism—what it could be is the tentative social basis for a real coalition #on which activism could then be founded #but most of us would rather suspiciously snipingly in-fight than let these tentative social filaments thicken into binding ties!#anyway. a great example of a post by someone with adhd that will probably be prohibitively difficult for other ppl with adhd to read!

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stinkrascal · 2 years

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idc about spoilers at all dude i love spoilers. i love being nosey about the media im consuming

#yea i could just wait until i get to that part #or i could learn the new information NOW and kick my feet and giggle with anticipation #i have very strong opinions about spoilers actually #i feel like if the art is good enough it doesn't matter if you know what's going to happen next #the writing can withstand itself #even if you know what's going to happen. you don't know how it will happen you know #you don't know the specific intimate details and how it all correlates together #i think bcs is a great example you know. that show basically spoils itself #it's a prequel so it's almost assumed that the majority of the characters who are featured will most likely be dead by the end of it #but the writing is so good on its own that that knowledge doesn't change the quality in the slightest #AND I LOVE IT WHEN SIMBLRS SPOIL THEIR STORIES AHAHAHA #being private about your stories is cool too! but i love when simblrs are like #Yeah so these couples are end game and these are the names of their future children and this person dies in this way and-#being secretive is fun and evasive and mysterious! but alas i am incapable of being secretive. i will spoil my entire legacy in one breath #eats up the spoilers like i'm feasting on a delicious dinner meal

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justanotherspeck · 2 years

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the pjo casting has been absolutely great so far, I could not be more excited for this show.

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #riordanverse #good casting doesn't make the show good but the spirit of pjo seems to be there #and that's what matters!#I'm not looking for a perfect match up in what happens in the books to what happens in the show #(in fact I hope they change some things)#but with rick riordan involved I have high hopes the series itself will be as good as the casting

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kateis-cakeis · 13 days

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Gaius, Kilgharrah, Morgause, and others probably: The future is never clear, there are many paths

The Disir and the Triple Goddess: oh lol, no, that doesn't apply to you lot <3

#bbc merlin #merlin #yes yes ive watched the disir episode again and i am having thoughtsTM #it's just such an episode where they do briefly touch on that destinies can be changed #while fate is something that cannot be changed unless the gods themselves and in this case the Triple Goddess allows it to change #again this is why the whole prophecy thing is in place before anyone involved is even born #Arthur's death Mordred's death even Morgana's death they were all decided because it wasn't destiny it wasn't this destined path #it was all fate in the end #even Arthur in this very episode is like I make my own path! then later when Merlin is talking about who he's destined to become #he says if it's fated it doesn't matter what i do it will still happen #and i think that really shows how Arthur ping pongs between having faith and being kinda secular?#anyway that's far from the point (i really cant help it i will tangent however i like :P) my point being here is like #there is an awareness that fate does exist and that there is a difference between it and destiny #and if anything destiny itself in the show is more fate - because what does change when anyone is given a vision?#every single vision comes true even if its a bit hazy around the exact details - i dont think there's a single one that is actually thwated #the future has many paths? lol yeah right - only the gods themselves can change the course for these legendary figures :P

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cafterdark · 7 months

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There's something about gradual mind breaking that drives me wild.

Imagine this. Your life is shit, you're stuck ina deadend cubical job. 9-5 bullshit galore. One day, you're assigned to train a new coworker. She's pretty, way above your league. And yet she's kind. She compliments you and your skills honed to perfection working these bullshit shifts. But still, she's way prettier than you so you feel awkward even acknowledging them.

The two of you have lunch together. The two of you were talking, and she was still complimenting you for some reason. About how pretty your hair is or how cute your smile looks. You can't even comprehend looking anything but shit. She pouts and fiddles with her phone a bit. Then she asks you to watch a video. Suddenly you're back at work. When did the break end? No matter.

She tells you how pretty your eyes were. You smile because good girls accept compliments and tell her how gorgeous her lips are because good girls are honest. The rest of the day the two of you compliment each other.

It's beenmonth since then and both of you just keep complimenting each other. Sure, your compliments are getting kind of weird. You don't know when you started calling her Mistress as a joke, but it's hard to stop now. But she tells you that it's normal for good girls to call their Mistress Mistress so you keep doing it anyway. Besides, her compliments are getting weirder too. Mistress has made it a habit to pin you to a wall before telling you them. Then she just tells you how submissive and docile you are. She kisses you a lot now. Good girls deserve to be kissed by their Mistress ofc, so you don't complain.

Work itself is harder now. You just can't keep up like you used to. You're just so horny and Mistress doesn't help. You know that good girls are horny messes, but it's so aggravating. The tight clothes that show off so much don't help, but good girls are required to wear them so what can you do? Mistress has to pick up a lot of your slack, but she doesn't seem to mind. And besides good girls let Mistress do the work for them.

Breaks are great. Mistress shows you another video and you feel so good and good girls deserve to feel good. You feel so good that you don't remember what happens during them. You've started finding bruises and bite marks on your skin after them, though you don't know why. You don't care because good girls need to be marked. For the rest of the shift, she keeps touching you and teasing. By the end you can barely stand.

At the clock terminal, Mistress pins you to the wall and makes out with you before leaving. You're frozen by lust for several minutes before stumbling to your car.

Three months in and things are now really weird. You can't tell why anymore. Your head feels like cotton most of the time. You ask Mistress why everything feels so weird, because good girls always ask Mistress for help. She gives you some pets and kisses you, reminding you that dumb puppies don't think. Your boss threatens to fire you because of poor performance, but it's not your fault you're a dumb puppy. Everyone knows that dumb puppies don't work. Dumb puppies are to be submissive and docile. Mistress does most of the work, she's so good at it that she's up for promotion.

Breaks are so fun. Mistress shows you another video. When you wake up, you feel sooooooo good. Like all the energy built up during the morning was just released. Mistress cleans you up and then she starts working again while you heel. Then when you clock out, Mistress attaches a leash to your collar and gives you a walkies home. The walkies home is the best part.

Six months in and life is perfect. You don't work anymore and that's okay. Dumb puppies don't work anyway. You and Mistress live together at her place. You sleep in your cage and if you're a really good puppy, Mistress lets you sleep at the foot of her bed. The best time is when Mistress works. She works at home now. Your job is to be adorable by sleeping in a dog bed under her desk. Well, that and pleasure her, because a dumb puppy's only role is to be her Mistress's fucktoy.

During lunch Mistress fills your bowl with kibble and it tastes amazing. She doesn't show you videos anymore. She says you're perfect now. You don't understand what she means but it doesn't matter. Dumb puppies don't think after all.

After Mistress finishes working, she takes you on walkies and plays with you. It's so fun and nice and amazing. And if you're a really good girl, the best puppy in the whole world, she'll let you sleep in the bed with her. Your life is amazing.

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hailthedragonmaster · 1 year

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my toxic trait is sometimes someone will rec something to me and i grab it and run with it and i end up liking it more/being more obsessed than them with it and i get very annoying with it. unfortunately this has happened at least 6 times likely more

#shows bands books it doesn't matter. sorry what you showed me happened to be made in a lab catered specifically to my brain #very very very earliest possible example of this. is the most obvious answer of all time. it's halo #my brother didn't even know thel's name or what made halsey decide to grab john. come on #it hails #this also happened with h-llywood undead. liking them in itself is a toxic trait tbh #the flipside is sometimes they show it to me i like it and then i literally never think about it again. sorry the worms didnt want that one

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evilminji · 4 months

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You ever fuck up so bad, you accidentally kidnap someone?

Imagine, if you will, the players of our scene. Young Justice. Perhaps the Teen Titans. It matters not, really, only that they are young. Too young, in fact, for the booze they have smuggled in, to celebrate still being ALIVE.

They didn't think they would be, approximately seven hours ago.

They didn't think ANYONE would be, by this time, seven hours later.

The world celebrates. Families hug, children cry and laugh, lovers desperately reunite. They did it. They saved the day. Survived.

With new wounds and some fresh new trauma to show for it, too. Perhaps... Perhaps it is that. And the looseness of alcohols effect on the tounge. Combined with their new closeness... that gets them talking. Sharing.

Talking of skills. Training. Histories normally not mentioned. Perhaps even bitching about this mentor or that old teacher, and OH, weren't they a NAG! "Fundamentals~!" The magic user mocks in drunkin parody of their old teacher. "it's all about the FUNDAMENTALS! Practice circles until you puke!"

But...

Oh? Oh DEAR~

Drunks have such POOR impulse control, don't they? The Speedster scoffs. He doesn't mean harm. Truely, he doesn't. But to him? It is a constant irritant against sore skin, that his team mates have access to such powerful and strange powers... yet choose not too study them at ALL! Ask questions. That they haven't considered the advancements humanity could make if they just TRIED.

Everything has an answer.

Just because you don't know what it IS yet, doesn't mean it doesn't EXSIST out there.

But this is an old argument. They ALSO a sore spot for the magic user and (by the many gods they know better then to swear by) they are SICK of it! You- *urk!* You think you can do BETTER? Explain it then, Mr. "Magic isn't real"!

And oh dear, oh dear~

The usual mitigator has already fallen asleep. Passed out, really, having amongst other things, texted their Ex and decided they NEEDED to dye their hair. Which leaves no one to stop what about to unfold. As the Speedster slams down his drink, his hyper accelerated metabolism leaving him, ironically, one of the LEAST drunk in the room.

But... sometimes all you NEED to royally fuck up?

Is to be just buzzed enough to ignore your better instincts.

And the argument kicks up. Again. Heats up. Again. But this time? Goes further. They are standing, yelling, in each other's faces. The Speedster certain they are just "making things up". The magic user hissing that the arcane is a field of STUDY. A SCIENCE and ART. Just because YOU don't-

But?

Well... One must ask. Have you ever FOUGHT a Speedster? Can you even conceive of what a pico-second FEELS like? What the Speedforce, once active, makes the world LOOK like? It is like statues. Silence. Calling a timeout on reality itself.

You can walk away.

No one can really stop you.

You can walk out the door, up the stairs, to your friends room, and grab books from their shelf. Sit and read them. ALL of them. The whole shelving unit. In the time it took a fraction of a second to pass. Then get up, put everything back, go back down stairs, search for supplies, find them, and return to your conversation. Having studied everything they have in the building.

And for them? It's like blinking. You just... have the supplies now. Air is displaced.

And you're ready to fuckin PROVE it.

You looked up all the symbols they used. So NOW? You can use nonsense. No chance that ANYTHING will happen, right? It's not "official magic"! He says, talking over a buzzed magic user. Who's staring at him blankly, mind churning as they try figure out why... why it sounds like he's saying he's about to do the One Thing they were... told.. to never...

Oh God.

WAIT!

DONT!

But it's too late. Our dear Speedster has made his "gibberish" circle. Chanted randomly strung together magically charged NONSENSE. Then? Let her rip! See? Nothing happ-

The world seems to suck in it's breath and wind up, as though preparing to PERSONALLY punish such hubris. The magic user us screaming. Back! Every GET BACK! Move, move, MOVE! Green hisses and crackles from the circle.

As.

Reality.

CRACKS.

!!!BOOM!!!

Glass shatters and electronics are beyond salvation. The couchs many dove behind are shredded, but hold. Sections of the ceiling and floor collapsing. The Radiation alarm deeper in the base kicks in with a clicking wail. There is SOMETHING casting a looming shadow... and it has a CROWN.

The air burns like arctic winter wind and ozone.

Before anyone can think of what to DO, a harsh golden light rips open reality and out steps most of JLA Dark. The are standing in front of the now completely trashed Zeta-tube. Which they could not USE. They do not look amused.

"What. Did you. DO!?" Snarls an exhausted John Constantine from the front of the line up, his normal rougish face is still half bruises and the cigarette he's holding looks like it's the only thing keeping him from strangling someone. "We could feel that from FUCKIN SPACE! We're you trying to blow up the PLANET?!"

"Good QUESTION!" snarls another voice, from the direction of where the circle should be "Here's another one! Where the HELL am I and who are you people?!"

Every spins to look.

There, floating above the green glowing circle, is a teen in a crown.

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @hdgnj @dcxdpdabbles @lolottes @mutable-manifestation @hdgnj @nerdpoe

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #minji's writing

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creatingblackcharacters · 3 months

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Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?

Okay, I recognize that this is a strong foot to step off on! But! If you learn nothing else from this series, if you decide for whatever reason to forsake me: this is the ONE perspective I'd like you to take away!

You may have heard this quote before, when Black fans deride a character design as 'a white man with the brown bucket tool'. On its face, it means exactly what was said. But specifically, what it means is that we recognize that whomever designed the character drew the way they normally draw for a 'default' character in their mind- default usually meaning White/Eurocentric features- and they added a shade of brown within the line art to make that character now 'Black'.

Now if you're feeling defensive, wait just a moment! This discomfort is not inherently a bad thing!

I'm going to use both a 'real world' example first, to show you what your Black fans and peers are seeing, and perhaps you will also understand our discomfort!

(if anyone was curious, my folder for this lesson is titled 'brad' lmao and you'll see why)

(I'll have y'all know that I actually worked very hard to make Blackface Brad look mildly presentable lmao I'm sorry, I'm wheezing, I can hardly breathe looking at him 🤣)

You see how, despite knowing where this was going, and using one of the darkest shades of brown in my Skin Tones arsenal, you still know that that's Brad Pitt? That nothing about his hair texture, his lips, his nose, or really anything other than the palette change... changed? And you can still see that?

It's incredibly hurtful to be told that that's supposed to be you. You know it's not, you know why it's not, but rather than hearing how it makes you feel unseen and what they could do to be better (since they wanted to draw a Black character!), the artist lashes out at you.

And as an artist, you might have worked VERY HARD to do this! That might be a real handsome guy you drew!! But... is he really Black? Did you walk into it with the intention, that you were drawing a Black Character, or did you draw a character that just happened to be Black? It seems like a silly thing, but it matters!

Okay. I just finished laughing over Brad. Now let's get into some more perspective changes:

Now, imagine you drew a character. You want to make her Black, so you change the hair and skin colors. All right! You have your Black character... right?

Changed ONE feature about her? (You should obviously change more than one feature, but let's just go with the simplified example.)

What if, instead of just changing her palette, we changed her:

Hair?

There isn't nearly enough time in the world, let alone in this little scribble and blurb, for me to describe the IMPORTANCE of Black hair in Black character design. There are so many ways to do curls, afros, braids, twists, locs, SO MANY HAIRSTYLES!! Get used to searching in the 3C-4C hair textures!!!! I plan on doing an entire lesson or two on hair alone, but suffice it to say, Hair Texture is thee BIGGEST giveaway that you 'painted a white person Black'- from cartoon styles to realistic! It reveals itself in your writing as well- just based on how your character takes care of their hair, how your describe the texture, how other people might perceive it... it lets me know just how much research was done. Because we can have straight hair! But again, that's a conversation for a whole 'nother lesson so- come back later 👀?

Lips?

I love our lips, I really do. There's a long history of shaming Black women in particular for the way our lips look. So when I see them done in all their glory, it makes me very happy. Two-toned lips vary in shade and intensity, so make sure you're using references if you want to be 'realistic', but it doesn't have to be that hard. Even a little subtle shift like this in the design/story description lets me know that a creator was thinking about me.

Nose?

One thing I've noticed ever since I starting drawing is that... people in a lot of mangas/manhwas barely have noses! I admit, out of all the features on the face, the nose isn't the most important. I think they should be, especially when you want to emphasize that your characters look different! People have different types of noses! I especially want to gear this towards those with a goal of drawing realistic portraits and the like- there, the nose is ANOTHER dead giveaway. There are Black people with aquiline and straight noses- we aren't a monolith- but is that why you drew it? Consider why you went for that nose specifically. That's part of the intent, in all this!

Now, you might be looking at me and going "Ice... this is just character design". To which my answer is: Yes! It is! It feels so basic, and yet if you ask your Black friends/peers how often they've come across this feeling of not being properly drawn/written, from fanart to professionally produced works, it's unfortunately common despite how simple of a concept it is.

I hope that you can walk away from my first lil lesson with new eyes. Remember, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

#creatingblackcharacters #black characters #black artists #black writers #black art #character design

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ultravioletrayz · 3 months

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𖤓1K FOLLOWERS SPECIAL𖤓

💜(N)SFW HEADCANONS💜

Pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader

Warnings: 18+, body descriptions (miguel is all buff and reader is curvy), size kink, manhandling, floor sex, oral (f. receiving), rough-ish sex, choking w/ bicep, 69, just the tip

Summary: miguel being a big, beefy man

A/N: tysm for 1000 followers!!

SFW

This man breaks EVERYTHING. Both in fits of rage, and just when using everyday items, Miguel's pure, superhuman strength just leads to him accidentally breaking shit all of the time. He has most definitely hurled the remote at the TV screen while watching soccer, also has probably broken things like glasses or mugs in his unintentionally firm grip before. He's always laughing embarrassedly and apologising for it, although deep down he's genuinely shamed of his brute strength and always having to go out and buy replacements for the things he breaks.

It's funny to watch him use utensils, brush his teeth, talk on the phone etc., because his hands are so big that everything looks comically tiny in his grasp. Also, Miguel purposefully puts things on high shelves to show off how tall he is. If you're struggling to reach something, he's definitely the type to reach for it from behind you and make you beg him to hand it to you. He's an asshole a tease who can't resist bragging about how much bigger and stronger he is compared to you.

He uses you as weights when he works out. It doesn't matter how heavy you are, since Miguel can canonically lift up to 10 tons, so he only works out for definition/tone rather than strength. He loves hearing your shocked gasps and giggles when he pushes you up suddenly while benching you, or when he curls your cute body and you blush every time he pecks your face when he lifts you towards him.

Miguel is always open to carrying you. He isn't into PDA, but his exception is the way you pout and complain about your feet hurting, and he's always quick to effortlessly scoop you up bridal style and carry you around the street, keeping you nestled against his warm tits chest. He also insists on carrying groceries and laundry, and he absolutely loves it when you ask for help/give him a task that requires him to show off his strength. Miguel is the king of princess treatment and will happily wait on your hand and foot if you ask, solely because he's physically capable of doing so.

Sometimes Miguel can be insecure about his strength because of the trauma associated with his mutant powers and his self-destructive tendencies, but the way that you give him a space to drop the tough, intimidating act makes him want to cry. You know he's a strong guy, but you never take advantage of his superhuman abilities. He just wants to be loved, he doesn't want to be seen as the scary animal he's made out to be.

NSFW

Following on from the "breaks everything" headcanon, Miguel has most definitely broken things while you guys have sex. In fear of hurting you, Miguel has a tendency to grip the headboard, the sheer strength in his hold causing the wood to snap in his hands. Obviously, the force of his thrusts has caused the bed itself to collapse underneath the two of you, but whenever it's happened Miguel has just dragged you onto the floor, kissed you on the cheek, and continued. He's a man on a mission when he's inside you.

Miguel treats you like a rag doll, he manhandles you completely. He makes sure not to hurt you too badly, but he likes to throw you around, lift you up, and pin you in place. He can easily contort your body into any position he pleases, and support you no matter what. When he eats you out, you can barely muster the energy to squirm, because he’s got your thighs wedged open with his broad shoulders, his rough hands keeping you spread. Sometimes, he’ll lift you up over his shoulders and eat your pussy while standing, leaving you dangling in the air and grabbing his hair helplessly as he keeps his hands hooked underneath your knees.

This headcanon is dedicated to Miguel’s arms. More specifically, Miguel putting you in a chokehold while he’s hitting it from the back. Heavy balls slapping against your clit as his bulging bicep engulfs your throat, restricting your breathing so deliciously that you’re panting and drooling all over the mass of beautiful tan skin and hard muscle underneath your chin, his pulsing veins caressing your throat with an almost sinful delicacy. His free hand gropes the fat of your waist and your ass, each slap that lands on your big butt making you squeal in pure ecstasy, to which his beefy arm squeezes around you tighter to stop you from escaping his deep strokes into your sopping cunt. Definitely talks to you half-degrading, half-praising just to make your mind spin and your pussy clench around him. “Keep taking it, sweetheart. Doing so good for me. You still breathing? Or am I fucking you so good you’ve forgotten how to do it, niña tonta?”

(This one is HEAVILY inspired by @mybvalentine’s 69ing with Miguel blurb because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I read it 🤭) But 69ing would definitely be a competition between you and Miguel, in the sense that you'd both be competing to taste each other. Miguel is so tall, and by comparison, you're so much smaller than him, so unless the two of you are willing to strain your necks and bodies by leaning in to suck and nibble at each other's essence, 69ing is a test of your patience. While Miguel has you pulled back, sitting on his face as he feverishly eats you out, you're stuck watching the way his pretty cock weeps at the taste of your slick coating his tongue, making you insatiably hungry for him. When you finally escape his grasp and lay forward with Miguel's dick prodding at the depths of your warm throat, Miguel groans at the way a combination of his spit and your juices dribbles onto his pecs, causing him to compromise and helplessly finger your weeping hole, scooping up your slick and bringing it to his mouth so that he can taste you again as you swallow and choke around his big cock.

Miguel is too big. Like, I’ve said in other posts, his dick can be unbearable at times, the dull aching off his cock stretching you out and filling every crevice occasionally becoming a relentless throbbing sensation. So, when you’re just too tight and he’s too thick to handle, Miguel will do just the tip to give your thoroughly bruised cervix a break. Even his flared, leaky tip is a tight squeeze in your little cunt, the wet *pop* sound the head of his dick makes each time Miguel pulls his hips back to the point where his slit is brushing against the rim of your entrance making you mewl. The sight of you unravelling on just his tip goes straight to Miguel’s head (you can decide which one).

sooo this was actually meant to be for 500 followers but I delayed it so much that it became my 1K special... 👀

oops!

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