sometimes i remember that gojo wanted to tell geto “we’ll meet again, right?” just before he died but forced himself not to knowing it would have cursed him and then i start thinking about how kind and thoughtful gojo is as a character and how he hasn’t been able to lean on another human being since geto defected and then i want to . Scream

the beauty of astarion’s character before you start influencing him is that he is the perfect imperfect victim. he’s in this position because of his own greed, but his suffering warped it to a new degree. he’s so obsessed with getting power power nothing but power to have the upper hand, the advantage, so no one can ever touch him anymore; he doesn’t care how many heads he has to step on to get there. it’s an extreme case but it’s something so many narratives around survivors hide from - that sometimes you desire safety so much you are willing to do ANYTHING for it. it’s ugly and awful and he doesn’t play nice and kind and grovel and beg so he’s worthy of your sympathy. this is about survival in an extreme situation. you can hate him for it, but you can’t blame him.

i forgot how much of a pain it was to transfer something on a google doc to tumblr using a phone 😭

Someone let Blinky’s employees unionize. Please. A woman’s jaw was broken on stage at least give them healthcare

that epic relatable moment when you give your opinion in class about the film you watched and now you regret speaking because what if your opinion was bad even though that’s subjective and everyone probably hates you and thinks your dumb because you just have silly brain and will never be able to fully articulate your thoughts into words so they will never understand the whole point you were getting at

Man I sure am rusty at this

am getting a lot of character inspo for shri’iia from amy gone girl. I don’t think she’s as smart nor calculated but she is similar to some degree in that she’s hyper aware of the current persona she’s presenting and how she’s appealing to the people. the masks and the mjndgames, that’s basically how shri’iia operated while she was still serving under her matriarch in menzoberranzan. she needed to play the roles the matriarch required of her and it was only when she was with her matriarch that she can be ‘Real Shri’iia’, and that’s how I imagined shri’iia to be esp in act 1 when she is so new and scared in the surface. she needed to work out who these people are (her companions) and what they liked, so her first persona - her blank one - the charming helpful paladin who got tadpoled and wants to go back home just like the rest of them (which was half true). she didn’t really argue and she generally agreed to what the group wanted. she was helpful and co-operative, ask her about her past and she will tell you something bland and generic- interesting enough to be ooh-ing about but not too interesting that they’ll delve deeper into it. then, when she got to know them a little more, she started crafting little personas adjacent to her first one ; she’s the girl who’s curious about magic but never had the chance to learn with gale, she’s a cool girl who likes mischief as debauchery with astarion, she’s the one who likes to take risks and live in the moment with karlach, the knight in silver armor who’s willing to help the tieflings with wyll, a disciplined fighter with lae’zel, someone who understands the depths of devotion with shadowheart - but none are really her, not really. ofc her own personality might slip in here and there but for the most part she’s appealing to them and what they’d like her to be but none of it is really genuine. shri’iia just needs to be on their good side to minimise the chances of them turning on her, and if they let her guard down it’ll be easier for her to get rid of them should the need arise. taking up all these different masks, collecting all these intel abt them to be used for later, slithering and making a place in their minds - it’s really how she operated back in menzoberranzan. I think the only one who catches on to her game is astarion but that’s bc he’s doing the same thing too, so it’s very game recognises game lmfao

it’s only when she breaks her oath and goes through her existential crisis that all of her masks drop and her real self comes out. she was never that kind of person lmfao ^, she’s greedy, selfish, paranoid and rather obsessive. she doesn’t care about a lot of things that doesn’t concern her, she has a cruel streak that she hasn’t shown before, and she hates doing anything that won’t really benefit her. but she’s fiercely loyal to anyone she likes, like a dog. and severely she craves validation and approval - also like a dog.

some nights you just have very specific cravings I guess

🧍🏻 girl help the blood tests came back and I do possibly have pre-hypothyroidism. They want me to come back in 3 months to do another panel just in case bc smth was apparently way way too high 😭 wtf !!

One of the days I regret most going on twt

I’ve been to the dentists like 5+ times this year for my teeth :( an I still have more appointments to make so they can fix more of my cavities :( I wish I took care of my teeth better but my depression makes it hard

😐 i’m never reaching out again in my life

So apparently when you graduate college, you get to unlock a whole new sleuth of issues depending on what you do or happens after

My birthday is soon I can't do this right now. (it’s in May, in five months.)

this christmas just isn’t christmas-ing like other christmases ://