#and im really glad because now i only have 4 more exams this month :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honesthammie · 3 years

Text

Thought I'd start doing some prompts, im gonna do them all eventually but I'd thought I'd share some I've seen or thought of on my own with other writers that may need inspiration.

Look in the tabs for fandoms and characters i will do, hopefully.

1)"Look, I'm glad you've saved everyone and all that, but it's time someone told you to take care of you."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not, and furthermore, if you don't take care of you, think of all the people who need you in the future who won't have you!"

2) Reader accidently get sent to Hell instead of Heaven. The King of Hell tells you to make yourself at home while he sorts it out with God. Little did you realise how much you liked it there

3)"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-“

"At least a twenty."

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

5) "What do you see when you look at me?"

6) Everyone is born with 2 tattoos that has a symbol on each wrist. One for their soulmate and another for their biggest enemy. The reader only has 1.

7)"Why are you still here?"

"Because I care about you, you asshole."

8)"Your hair is so soft.."

9) "It's too cold! Come back!"

10) "No, I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get out of bed."

11) "C'mere, you can sit in my lap until i'm done working."

12)"I'm not going to stop poking you until you

give me some attention."

13) "Shh, you're safe. I won't let you go."

14) "What? does that feel good?"

15)"Just pretend to be my date."

16)"He/She did it." "No he/she did."

17) "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

18)“No no-it's alright, come here."

19)"I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise."

20) Everyone has a guardian angel. Except the reader. Something went wrong in system and now you're stuck with a guardian Demon. Fortunately, they seem more effective at helping you succeed.

21)"I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don't trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen."

22)"I am way too sober for this."

23)"If I go through with this, I die. If I don't go through with this, we all die."

24)"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Treating me like a person."

25)"What the heck is that?!"

"My cat."

"Cats don't have eight legs!"

26)"Hey, I didn't kill anyone today!"

"What do you want? A gold star?"

27)His voice brought back memories of dark rooms and broken bones.

28)"Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?"

"Because you're in shock."

"That doesn't mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze."

29)"I can't believe you haven't killed each other yet."

"We shared a room together in (enter what type of school here). If we could survive that, we could survive anything."

30)"Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture"

31)"How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?"

32)"Why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Seriously? I have worse nightmares about failing my exams"

33)"What is that THING in your backpack?"

"It's my new pet dragon."

"Dragons aren't real!"

"Then why is there one in my backpack?"

34)"I had a thought."

"Oh no."

"I swear it's a good one this time!"

35)"Are you there?"

"Physically, yes. Mentally is debatable."

36)"Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?"

"I don't know, I probably both."

37)“Are you SURE I can't punch him in the face?"

"Yes."

"What if I just break his nose a little?"

38)"It's a long story."

"You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time."

39)"Death wants you to be terrified, but the scariest thing is wanting death."

40)"What's our exit strategy?"

"Our what?"

"Oh my god, we're all I going to die."

41)"How's the meeting?"

"I want to stab everyone."

"Don't get blood on your dress. We have dinner reservations at seven."

"Love you for enabling me."

"Love you too."

42)"What can I do to make you feel beautiful as as you look to me?"

43)"Once hope becomes a symbol, you cannot kill it. Give it a name, and it will never truly die. You have to dismantle it and let the world watch on as it crumbles in on itself."

44)"Don't you have a country to run?"

"My favorite person is in the hospital, the people can wait."

"I don't think it works like that."

"I rule over them, so it does."

45)"Are you really still a princess if your kingdom is in ruins? If there is no one left to rule over but corpses?"

46) Reader stealing lovers clothes

47)"How did you do that?"

"Maybe if you spent less time rambling you'd have figured it out"

48)"You-you are-"

"Beautiful, a genius, immensely talented"

"Dangerous."

49)"And if the world thinks it can keep us apart, then it hasn't been paying attention because there is nothing, nothing! wouldn't do just to I stay by your side."

50)Take apart every word I've ever said, strip me of every action I've ever taken. Then know, for certain, that mean it when I tell you I love you."

51)"Do you trust her?"

"No. but I ... trust her anger."

52)"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"

"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it!"

53)"Where's your shoe?"

"The giant mud puddle demanded a sacrifice"

54)"People can do can worse things than kill you."

55)"Give my regards to the Devil."

"I will."

"And remind him that he still owes me fifty bucks for helping him out that one time."

56)"Hate to break it to you, but we're both someone else's science experiment."

57)"Timing is key"

"Says the one thats always late"

58)"Right now, I don't know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge."

"Can I pick?"

59)"This? These tears? They are not a weakness. They show how strong you are and how strong you've been. And when you're done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible."

60)"Act natural."

"For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic."

"NO, that's not what I meant! Act like it's a normal day!"

"My 'normal' days of late, consist of a lot of panic."

"Will you just cooperate?"

"When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!"

113 notes · View notes

yoursinfulurges · 4 years

Text

Toxin and Venom

Slight Dark!Peter Parker x Dark!Reader

Description:

In which a seemingly loving relationship appears greater than it is...

There was something rather terrible about this young man's naive exterior. Though nobody could pinpoint where exactly the dreadfulness laid. His eyes shined a little too brightly, and his words were coated in thick sugar, enough to appear disingenuous to the skillfully trained ears. But there hidden behind is smile concealed the sinister morals of a true manipulator.

Oh' but she was no better herself, twisting words to favour her narrative. Playing as if she was nothing more than a meek little prey.

Warnings: pure angst with an underlining layer of toxicity.

Disclaimer: This is a REWRITE of one of my old stories dated back to a year ago, so if it sounds familiar that is why. This story was originally written for Jung Jaehyun from NCT but seeing as though I've fallen out of love with kpop at the moment, I wanted to repurpose it for my new followers that I've harbored since The Venom Within, as I'm very proud of the way it was written and concluded that I wanted to share with you all. I did improve and change quite a lot so you won't be reading the exact same story and I decided to add a twist to it.

Note: This is more so a college au so the fact that Peter is Spiderman is insignificant...

Word Count: 4.k

_____________

Your boyfriend, Peter, had always been the most kind and caring person you knew. Ever since you met him, and even after months of dating, he still acted like the bashful, kind Disney prince you took him for. Only treating you with nothing but respect and admiration; you often wondered if this boy was even capable of making an insult, or had a bad bone in his body. Fore he acts way too nice and sweet for his own good. Controlling at times but it was with all good intentions...

Originally, you thought the kind gestures and lovely sweet talking was his way of subtly flirting, but after years of dating him, you came to the realization that it was just simply him. Peter didn't need to pretend to be kind and sweet like other guys; given that it was like second nature for him. You loved the boy to death. He showered you with so much love, spoiled you with affection. Treated you like his queen; His shining jewel. Out of the two years that you'd been together, not once has he wronged you.

That is, up until this exact moment...

You stand there in the middle of the kitchen, tears streaming down your cheeks. At this point you had stopped listening to what he was saying. In fear that if you continued to listen to his harsh words, more of your love would begin to fleet away, and you couldn't afford to lose any more. Despite of all your excessive yelling, you loved Peter. And he meant so much to you. But seeing him in this state, angry and hostile, attacking you viciously with his words, you began to question your future with him.

You couldn't quite fathom what brought on this newfound aggression in your relationship. Though, you had a slight seeking suspicion that it was from all the post-exam stress you both had to endure. Weeks upon weeks of studying and sleepless nights finally took its toll on the both of you. Thus bringing you to this exact moment in time. The once loving home corrupted by the harsh spoken words that fell from both of your lips. Anger and aggression filling the room, space welcoming the negativity with open arms. You had both tainted it...

That was not the boy you fell in love with, but instead somebody meaner, a-kind to venom...

Then again, you weren't a saint yourself either, words you wouldn't have ever thought of saying spilled out of your mouth like toxin. You needed to do something fast to mend your relationship back together...

The mere thought of breaking up with the man hurts you so dearly. You just wanted your loving boyfriend back from what ever abyss he dissapeared off to. Typically your fights never lasted this long, but this one proved to be quite challenging. You just wanted him to stop yelling. But in fear of the unthinkable outcome of your protest, you kept shut and held onto the remaining pieces of your heart. You knew for a fact that Peter would never dear to lay a hand on you, so you tried very desperately to push those thoughts aside. However, his following statements made both tasks very difficult. It was as if he was challenging your composure. Like he wanted the flood gates broken.

Like he wanted you to cave in to the malicious voice whispering in your ear...

His words could've very well be from all the stress, ..or pent up insults and remarks that he'd been silently keeping in. You had no way of telling. You prayed and hoped that it was the first one rather than the assuming latter. Because maybe then, you would consider forgiving him. Even though the words punctured you like bullets, penetrating your inner layers and hurting you in more ways than one. This was not your Peter... You questioned the morals behind his words, were they intended to hurt you, or was it just in the heat of the moment. Regardless, you knew that his words would be something that lingered on forever in your head.

"I don't even know why I stayed this long with you, honestly! What do I even see in you! Stop being so unreasonable! You're easily replaceable, so i don't see why you're acting so high and mighty. News flash y/n, i could do a lot better!"

And there it was...

His current state and demeanor rivalled that of which the one you used to know. The soft spoken, kind, sweet, shy Peter. The one that still plays with legos despite being nineteen years old. You'd give anything to have him back...

You always knew that Peter could do better, but hearing this from him was a lot different than you saying it to yourself in your head. Before you had started dating you knew he had a chance with Michelle. She was a very pretty girl that went to your university, she was also Peter's chem partner... Michelle was nice, smart, and talented. You were very aware of the little 'thing' they had going on. So to your surprise, when you heard rumors of a certain Peter Parker, looking to ask you out, you almost didn't believe. Hell, you laughed straight into Brad's face and told him he was delusional. If only a hesitant, blush faced Peter wasn't stood right behind you to prove you wrong.

Ever since that day, you questioned Peter's choice. Why did he choose you, when he could've had a chance with Michelle? Someone he was more compatible with... You figured that he saw something special in you that nobody else did. Though, his previous statement proves you wrong and tells you that he doesn't even know why he gave you a chance. You're at a drift, not knowing where this relationship is headed, or where to stand. Knowing that you were replaceable to Peter weakens you. Were you really that insignificant to him? Were you a chore to be around? If so then why did he stay for two years? All these questions ran through your mind as you're frozen in a state of shock. How do you follow such a thing?

You stand silently, wails threatening to break free from your lips, as you shake. Instantly covering your mouth with your palm. You watch as he screamed at you more, words blocked out by the ringing in your ears. Truthfully, you were glad you couldn't hear his words, not knowing how to reciprocate to any more of his personal attacks.

The familiar feeling of despair began to conjure in the pit of your stomach. The tightness in your chest began to focus on your beating heart, constricting you like a boa preying on its meal. Everything around you became a hazy blur as the non stop ringing became more prominent. The cause being your angry boyfriend and his heart-wrenching words. Jolts of anxiety began to climb up from your figure tips, like a thousand spiders crawling on your skin. A feeling you know all too well crept up from behind you. You were beginning to feel frantic and scared, as your breathing became unstable.

You were becoming erratic, desperate to end the fight and be in his arms again.

"What!? Huh, not gonna clap back with some snarky remark. Admit it, you know im right!"

Peter's face was a striking shade of scarlet while he paced back and forth, hands finding themselves tangled in his hair as he mumbled inaudible words. His hair, you remember running your hands through his curly, brown locks this morning when you woke up. Oh, how happy and blissful you both were twelve hours prior to this moment. You both were so content and hopeful with the prospect of your relationship. Being able to finally spend time with each other after a stressful week. Originally, you had planned a date night with Peter. But things began to make a turn for the worse when he began to insult every little thing you did. Now here you were, an hour and forty-five minutes late for your reservations.

A taste for bitterness began to fill your mouth, as your insides churned. Waves of sadness and despair hit you like a tsunami. You suddenly couldn't stand the thought of staying in the same room as Peter. Let alone sleeping in one. Fore his words had impacted you like an arrow through the heart. You felt sick, disgusted, vulnerable, and above all else, hurt.

"God, you're such a fucking bitch sometimes!" Peter spat, but soon after stopped, noticing your sudden change in demeanor. Your once, fuming and aggressive facade was replaced with a much more subdued, fragile, hurt exterior, mirroring how you felt inside. You had given up. The bandage that held your heart together snapped.

You looked up at him, hurt written all over your face. Instantly, Peter rushed your way. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, apologize for calling you a bitch. But stopped when you held your hand out and shook your head, a sob erupting from your mouth. Suddenly, all the hurtful things Peter said rang through his own head.

Oh...

Shit!

"Baby, I-" He started, not knowing how to follow. His mouth suddenly became dry, letting out a sigh of regret. Voice coming out weak and pained. His chest tightening at the sight of what he has done to you. No no no no no no.... Peter knew you weren't the type to forgive and forget. Even if you both manage to somehow recover from this, he knew that his words would always be in your head. You would constantly doubt yourself and his transparency, thinking if it was all an act.

Regret began to eat away at him once again when he noticed your uneven breathing. Another punch in his gut when he took note of your shaking. Peter's eyes quickly darted to yours, his heart breaking when he saw the amount of fear in them. He was uncertain if you were scared of him or your emotions. He wanted it to be the second one. Peter never wanted you to see him in that light. Yet here you were, having an anxiety attack because of him...

He knew that feeling all too well, having suffered from anxiety of his own, but the fact that he was the one to force you into that state shattered him..

"Don't call me that...." You spat coldy, backing away slowly into your shared bedroom. Making sure he didn't follow and locking the door. Once in the cozy room, you sob like la llorona conveying grief. You couldn't bear to see all the happy pictures of you two, when he said so himself, you're nothing special to him. Without thinking, you began to rip off every Polaroid, framed pictures, and drawings from the walls. Not caring of ripping them. You threw them all on the floor. Your vision becoming clouded by tears as you sob. Ruining the white fabric of your oversized sweater with your makeup contaminated tears.

Your body halts, the last remaining picture was of the both of you on your first date. You always considered that day as the happiest moment of your life. But now knowing that you're just a pit stop in Peter's life, the memory manifests into something much darker than obsidian.

You inhale as you looked at the picture one more time. It was you kissing Peter on the cheek. He donned a beautiful cheshire smile, his freckles displaying proudly under the sunlight. He wore a red, hooded sweatshirt with his hero, Iron man's logo depicted on the top right corner. You always love it when he wore sweaters, especially that one. You remembered every emotion you felt as the picture was being taken. Even if you didn't, your expression held it all. You radiated happiness as the butterflies in your stomach became restless. You were so happy...

You sob lightly, your thumb caressing his face as you looked fondly at the picture. Suddenly, words that fell from his mouth earlier replayed in your head. He had purposely attacked your deepest insecurities. Jabbed and taunted you. The Peter you knew would never result to something so cruel and petty. Without putting much thought into it, you began to take the picture out of its frame.

Your ears perking up when you hear the familiar sound of the lock being picked. The jiggling of the doorknob was something you grew accustomed to. Having locked yourselves out of the bedroom on more than one occasion....

Taking one final breath, you rip the picture in two and retreated into the master bathroom. Once the door was slammed shut and locked, all hell broke loose. As if it couldn't have gotten worse alright. Your wails grew louder and more repetitive that you were being to sound like a banshee, mourning for her decaying heart. Eventually, you found yourself curled up in the bathtub, suppressing your cries into your knees as you lowered your head.

Peter finally succeeds in picking the lock, after what seemed like hours, and once he creaked opened the door of your shared bedroom, his heart broke in two. Parts of him began to deteriorate, he wished he had never said those hurtful things. He felt numb and out of touch with reality, sensing his anxiety looming over his shoulder. Peter knew that one of your biggest insecurities was never meaning much to somebody. And that weren't fond of feeling worthless and neglected. He knew your background and upbringing well enough to know just how much you disliked being treated as such.

All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away. A pool of sadness brimmed his eyes as he evaluates the damage. From one corner of the room to the other, pictures were left scattered and discarded. The framed drawings of him that you illustrated, sat on the floor of your bedroom, frame cracked and shattered. The Polaroids he held ever so dearly to his heart, littered the bed and floor. He broke down in tears when he sees the torn picture of you both.

How could you vandalize such a treasured memory. But then again, how could he hurt the most precious thing in his life. Seeing the picture ripped apart like this, he knew that somehow he affected your perspective on this whole relationship. His previous words had tainted such beloved memories, and twisted them to seem like nothing more than a one-sided love. He made you question whether he truly loved you or not. Suddenly the realization kicked in, and it kicked in hard. A tsunami of guilt and regret pierced through is heart. His insides churned and it suddenly became very hard to breathe. He suddenly became really aware of how dire this situation was. His following actions may break your relationship if he didn't act wisely.

Peter bends down to hold your piece of the puzzle, a river flow of heart ache cascading down his cheeks, wetting the captured image of you. Your sobs, which had begun to sound like cries of help, due to lack of air, rang threw Peter's ears. Suddenly he grew extremely concerned and rushed to the door, dropping your image.

Immediately, you stop when you heard soft knocks coming from the other end of the door, which was soon followed by cries and sniffling sounds.

"Baby, open the door!" You don't comply with his words and stayed seated in your place, hugging your knees tighter.

"W-what are you gonna do if i don't? Pick the lock and violate my privacy! Just go away P-peter! W-why don't you go find another girl to replace me, because apparently, i-i mean nothing to you!" Screaming at the inanimate door, or more so the person behind it, as you let out a cut short wail. You hated yourself for how weak and broken you sounded. Wishing, you could drown out his stupid words that had already engraved itself deep in your brain.

"Y-you said s-so yourself! I'm easily replaceable! I-if i had known that this relationship was just gonna be one sided then i would've never wasted my time!" Apparent in your tone and words how truly distraught you were, Peter cried harder, cold sweats engulfing his body. He winced at the thought of how broken you were. It only lead him to wonder, what exactly happened and what brought on this fight. Sounding more so a statement rather than a question in his head.

He parted his lips softly, a small whimpering sigh rolling off his tongue.

"Please y/n, just open the door. I-i just want to see you. Please... I-I need to know that you're okay...." his words laced with mixed emotions, such as sorrow and remorse. Despite his current emotional state, Peter's stature looked anything else but composed. God, he was freaking out..

Incoherently mumbling a soft 'please' as he laid his forehead onto the wood door. His hand resting above his head, fist balled tightly, as if ready to start pounding. He was desperate, eyes screwing shut tightly causing a flow of tears to glide down his cheeks. Peter's jaw clenched tightly in frustration, as he beat himself over and over again for saying such things.

After much hesitance, you stood up and made your way to the door. Peter hears the small shuffle and quickly straightens himself out. After seconds of hovering your hand over the knob, you twist it open, instantly unlocking itself and setting free all the pent up emotions. You crack open the door, almost immediately, Peter rushes in and hugs you.

You don't return the hug, silently stiffening in his arms. At that moment, the last few bits of composure you had built back up snaps loose. You become a crying mess in Peter's arms. Feelings of unmeasurable sadness cascade down your cheeks, onto his black long sleeve shirt. You try and push him away, but fail due to his strength. His muscular arms constricting you as if you would fade away.

"Listen to me please." He says softly, tears lightly streaming down his cheeks, though, not to the caliber of yours.

You sniffle lightly, thrashing in his arms. Though, it was no use, his hold was so secure that no amount of resistance would break you free. So, you could do nothing else but endure what he has to say.

"I'm sorry-

Sorry doesn't fix anything Peter, it's just a word!" The teary-eyed male hissed at your words. The amount of hurt and venom your tone held was enough to make his jaw clench and his hold to tighten.

"I know it doesn't, but it's a start. L-look, i didn't mean to say that. I don't know what came over me, or what caused me to say those things. But what i do know is that they were a hundred percent untrue. And i want you to know that..." He pauses briefly to wipe away your tears with his thumb. Dipping his head into the crook of your neck. He took in your floral scent, hoping it would help him regain composure. You feel a tug on your heart at how utterly hurt and small he sounded.

"I love you with all my heart, and that you are the most unique girl I've ever met... If anything i don't know how i even managed to get a girlfriend as beautiful and amazing as you..... Wanna know why I'm with you?" You nod lightly into his chest. His hold readjust itself as he lays his head above yours. Almost content with your slight gesture, but he needed to be sure you were happy.

"It's because you accept me for who i am. You don't pressure me to be perfect all the time, you welcome my flaws with open arms; don't expect anything from me and shower me with so much love everyday... I want you to know that i could never replace you, not that i would ever want to. How did i ever get so lucky... Please y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life.... I-i can't loose you too..." Peter couldn't fathom a future with out you in it. He grew frantic, thinking that this day could be the last together. And that there would be a slight chance that you didn't want to forgive him again. He couldn't let that happen...

"Please say something...." He sighed whilst tears brimmed his eyes, taking your tightening hold on his shirt to keep moving forward.

"Do you remember when we first started dating, that night i texted you that i was frustrated and my anxiety was acting up... And you came over in a heart beat, even though you lived fifteen minutes away... Y-you told me to let it all out, and i cried in your arms for an hour, complaining about everything. I felt so ashamed for crying in front of you, but you told me that i was so brave for accepting my feelings... I know what i said must've hurt you a lot, but I'll do better... I'm sorry for triggering you like that." Peter's tone was barely above whisper, and if he hadn't have said it directly above your ear, you would've missed it. There he was... your Peter....

You thought back to the said memory and smiled fondly, that was the night you both realized that you wanted a more serious title on your relationship. Finally labeling each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. You thought back to all the happy memories you both shared and confirmed that a silly little fight wouldn't get the best of you. Yes, his words might've hurt, but his actions now out ways all of his petty insults. You give into your flourishing heart and forgive him.

Backing away from his chest lightly, you look up at him, gasping slightly at his blood shot eyes. You hesitatly reach up to cup both of his cheeks. Wiping away the remaining tears that streamed down his face. He smiled lightly and leaned into your touch, taking one of your hands in his and place a soft, delicate kiss on it.

"We'll be okay...." You smiled at his comforting words before planting a passionate, loving kiss on his lips. Peter smiled lightly before taking your wrist on his hold and guiding them to wrap around his neck. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer by your waist.

It was then that he realized that he wanted you to be the only women in his life. And that he wanted nobody else. Suddenly feeling an overly compelling urge in his heart to make up for his actions overcomes him. He was determined to trap you in his web of love again. He couldn't loose you too...

You smile in content,

portraying the victim always worked...

'Indeed, we'll be just fine.....'

Perhaps they were both awful people, fooling each other with the reality they both created. But it was done with the intent of love, sick twisted love... He was possessive and she was insecure. And together they were toxin and venom... God forbid anything that tries to get in between them...

_____________

End Note:

For those that don't understand, take notice in Peter's words and how drastically different they are from when he was mad to when he was apologizing. Sweet at first glance but if you really dig deep you'd notice how sugar coated everything seemed, like he's saying what you want to hear. And as for the Reader, I purposely left out how much she contributed to the fight in the beginning to make it seem as though she was the victim, when in reality she was also at fault. The anxiety aspect of this story was very much 'real' since I described what it felt like for me and I wanted her to suffer from anxiety yet have something be a little off. Now, I'm not claiming that the bedroom part was a whole scene to feed her victim persona, but that's up to how you want to view it. This story is subjective and can be taken however way you want to.

228 notes · View notes

iuwon · 3 years

Note

hello lina!!

🎐anon here,, i'm sorry it took me like a week to reply back..., i had exams this week and i tend to stay off my socmeds during exam week not because i want to focus on studying, no, no, absolutely not but because exams literally suck the soul out of me and i have no energy left to even open my socmeds or indulge in anything 😭, i literally take a 2 hour nap every time i finish one exam paper. so yeah... tough week and i'm glad its over. i have another big exam period starting on nov 16th so i'll have to study hard for that but, guess its freedom for now. anyways!! sorry i ranted too much. first thing i saw when i opened tumblr tonight was your pda hc post and omg 💘💘💘 , you literally never disappoint ?? i love it... especially jake's.... 'that's my girl' bruvv butterflies in my stomach. it's so rewarding to read your writings first thing after exams are over and i can finally open tumblr ㅠㅠ. oh and for the kpop groups i stan question,, i have 2 groups i ult rn which are aespa and enhypen!! i use to ult nct though back in 2018-2020 and i still keep up with them a little. i want to write down a lot more but i think i already said too much hahaha so i'll stop here. and please tell me about your week too 🥺. i want to listen and read about how it went or just little, memorable things that made you happy this week cause yk, i admire you and i want to understand you more

xoxo, 🎐

AHHH HI HI HI BB I REALLY MISSED YOU YOU'RE BACK. BRB SCREAMING

OKAY HOLD ON IM PUTTING A CUT BC THIS IS GONNA BE PRETTY LONG

AND NO NO IT'S ALL GOOD DON'T WORRY !!! priority is always important if not ppl end up like me 😻 I HOPE IT WENT WELL FINGERS CROSSED PRAYING ON MY KNEES THAT YOU GOT THE RESULTS YOU WANTED !! UGHHH tell me about it, exams are so mentally draining and exhausting just thinking about it makes me want to collapse. naps are always essential i live for sleep ✨ seriously i do nothing but fangirl, eat, sleep and study.

AHH NOV 16 THAT'S TOO SOON 😡 personally i need at least like,, 1-2 months of rest before another exam. FOR THE MEANTIME please rest well !!! sleep like a panda and eat like a panda 🤩 don't worry too much to prevent stress because you had it so rough oml :((( seeing how you turned off social media due to how drained you were just proved how much effort you placed into the exams 😼 but please please don't overexert yourself during the next batch of exams !!! i hate exams just for that reason only. make sure to never pressure or stress yourself with negativity no matter what scenario you're doing the best and that's all that matters !! 💞 NO FEEL FREE TO RANT ALL THAT YOU CAN

AGJWFEJFAJJWE OMG THE FACT THAT I WAS THE FIRST POST YOU SAW BACK ON TUMBLR #*%#*$%* IT'S GIVING ME EMOTIONS I'M GONNA YELL. AWEJGJWSK THANK YOU FOR READING AND ENJOYING THE HC WTF YOU'RE SO SWEET ????????? SERIOUSLY WHEN I READ THIS I STARTED SCREAMING AND JUMPING ON MY BED 💀💀

literally reading this is so rewarding like HELP you now and forever will hold the ability to say things that i can't stop thinking about 😭😭 AND OHHH AESPA AND ENHA !!! aespa along w bp and itzy are the gg i stan 😌😌 i used to stan nct too !!! but i somehow got pretty busy so i rarely just watch their videos 😭 i think enha and bts are the only groups that i'm up to date w/ but even so i'm still behind with their updates 💀 AND NOO ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO WRITE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO !!! i really love receiving asks and hearing from you, like honestly, it's so hard to explain 😭

"admire" SQUEAL CRYING EATING WALLS ROLLING SOBBING SCREAMING YELLING HOLLERING WHIMPERING HEART BLEEDING. NO BC THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL W YOU, YOU'RE LITERALLY JUST SO 10000000000% ?@#%?@!???INHALES. EXHALES. one day i will lose my sanity

BUT PLACING SCHOOL ASIDE I HAD A 4 DAY BREAK !! it's just about to end and school is starting tomorrow 🥀 i watched k-dramas w/ my mom, had late-night snacks (i love love love having late-night snacks/noodles it tastes so much better at night), and cooked breakfast for my family for 4 days (not really fun since i had to wake up earlier but at least i can cook) !!! it was so so fun :))

i'm going to the hospital tomorrow though !! our country doesn't allow vaccinations on minors so my doctor is issuing some special treatment to get me one on Friday !! i think i'm getting the faiser (is that how it's spelled HELP) or the moderna one and i'm pretty nervous bc i heard those are pretty painful (I HATE VACCINATIONS i am forever a kid at heart). i have online classes tomorrow so my mom is telling my to bring my phone instead to listen to my classes (a 100% fail but i can't argue against my asian mom). OHHH ALSO i was away from my gadgets the whole 4 days I JUST CAME BACK AND I SAW THE BTS SEASONS GREETINGS 2022 AJFEJGJAWSFJWEJ JIKOOK HELLO ?????????????????????????????? ,,,,, waIT hold on do you stan bts ?? I'M SO SORRY IF I'M JUST SPOUTING OUT NONSENSE <//3 but hmmm other than school i don't really have much going on 😭 currently going to study for my statistics quiz even though it's a rest day today 😡 ANYWHO HOW ARE YOU DOING THOUGH ??? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO WITH YOUR REST ??? OR HALLOWEEN ???

#◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ anonymous!#🎐 anon

2 notes · View notes

amjustagirl · 3 years

Note

Nikkiiii hihiii how are you?? how was your week?? how was your day?? I hope you got enough sleep >:)

I read Love knows not its depth (until the hour of separation) and... woahh

Okay first off, it just made me appreciate my parents a whole lot more. Recently I've had some downs with them (me and my habit to get distracted with messaging friends being the one at fault primarily) and idk i just felt hurt and annoyed (more so a week ago but not so much now) and its just....when I read your fic i just instantly had a lot of flashbacks of me and my parents and what all they do for me and how not easy raising a fussy child like me was and i just felt so so grateful to have my parents yk.

And second, man the beginning was so painful yet so real. Like often when people write such scenarios they quickly make it fluffy by having one person forgive the other after they change their behavior for a period of time. However, the more likely scenario that i feel happens is that when someone feels cast aside and that hurt, only a week of acting better or helping them out more really isn't enough. It could honestly take years to heal. It hurts a LOT and makes you wish it didn't work that way but it does and I feel you captured that part of redeeming oneself -due to any reason- quite beautifully.

also, ma'am, YOU PLAY 5 INSTRUMENTS I-

YOU'RE SO TALENTED OMG

(fun story, i picked up the guitar in 4th grade, learnt it for a few months and dropped it cuz my fingers ached💀 i started playing it again last year after i made some band friends [im quite a competitive being so really, all i thought when i wiped the dust from my ancient guitar was that i had to master it and play as good or even better than them...they had been playing the guitar for almost 4 years pls what eVEN] and i had to take a break for exams but i seriously started it again this year and i plan to continue it as much as i can...BUT

bruh sometimes you look at other people playing the same instrument and then you listen to yourself play it as a beginner and it just :( also, i have barely 3 more years until college and ig im just worried abt my profile and stuff too and just ajyfgetfege its all such a mess💀👌 im sorry for ranting a little ahdyfg i meant to express my awe for you KNOWING HOW TO PLAY 5 INSTRUMENTS OMG AND YOU WRITE LIKE A GODDESS TOO PLS AMAZING)

ahbyfg that will be all. Take care of yourself <333

Hello Nanini!!! it’s so nice to see you again!

haha yes - i drew a LOT of inspiration from my mom when i was writing this story, her angst and the hardship she must have suffered bringing up two daughters along with a full time job (and a difficult mother in law) was something i really tapped on. i mean tbh i think a lot of people have fraught relationships with their parents (because parents are human, are some rly aren’t meant to be parents), so im grateful for mine and i’m glad to hear you have lovely parents too (we all go through some angst with our parents in our teenage years, don’t sweat it, it’s only normal)!

redemption for kuroo was tricky to write. i definitely tried to build it up, show him put in a sustained effort, and show them fall in love and build their relationship again without either of them saying “i love you”. it’s...a very asian thing you know? to say i love you without saying i love you - again, something i drew on from seeing my chinese parents grow up yknow?

i was worried at first, writing him as neglectful - was worried people might say i’ve mischaracterised him, but i feel like there’s the potential for him to lose sight of his family because he’s so ambitious. he doesn’t do it intentionally - he just has a bad case of tunnel vision imo.

HAHA i’m not talented! my parents signed me up for piano lessons as a kid (again, very stereotypically asian), and i ended up studying music as a subject in high school so i had to pick up a second instrument (clarinet). then i joined the orchestra and picked up a few more instruments there, mostly out of necessity cos my main instrument sounds....most like a bagpipe so there are some songs that wouldn’t have a part for it! anw - practice the guitar if it makes YOU happy, and don’t compare yourself to others, its unhealthy and rly your only competition is yourself!

as for college applications - breathe. take it one day at a time, albeit with an eye on your overall goal. i was such an anxious teenager, worrying about college exams and i sorta regret not giving myself the space to truly find myself and have fun. so i’d say, while you should work hard and work smart, don’t forget that you’re only young once, so live life and explore what makes you happy - it’ll stand you in good stead for happiness further down the road <3

#Nanini❤️#love knows not its depth #Nikki chats!

4 notes · View notes

got7-markjinson · 5 years

Text

Strawberries and Chocolates

Pairing: JB x Reader x Yugyeom Genre: Fluff; Warnings: None!

A/N: This idea was born from a make-up fic title game link here. And since JUS2 is coming for us, I decided to write it with a friendly nudge from @katdefbeom and @ijustwantacue . Hope you enjoy!

Read: Chapter 2, Chapter 3(END)

Chapter 1

Opening the door to your apartment half way to peek at the person knocking, you let out a disappointed sigh to see it’s none other than your annoying neighbor, Kim Yugyeom.

“Good morning!”, he stood there, giving you his signature puppy look with a smile, which you already know meant that he’s going to ask something from you.

“What do you want?”

He raised the mobile phone on his hand for you to see, “My battery’s dead. I just need to recharge it just enough to make a call, please!”

“Where’s your charger?”, you ask, though you know it’s fruitless to.

“Uhh, the girl I was with last night must’ve picked it up by mistake when she took off early this morning.”

You shook your head, you didn’t need to hear anymore of it. You have already heard plenty enough from last night with him and his “girl”, who you assumed is different from the previous girls he’s been bringing home.

You finally fully opened the door for him to go in and went back into your room. You trust he already knows his way around your apartment considering how many times he’s been in, asking for various favors. Like getting hot water for his instant noodle, borrowing a towel, a pair of scissors, etc.

After a few minutes of charging, he checked if he can now turn on his phone, and it did.

“I owe you!”, he shouted for you to hear from inside your room.

“You always say that!”, you shouted back.

“And I meant it. You’re just not using your favors-”, he said now walking towards your opened room. When he finally raised his head to give you a look, he was surprised to see you dressed up. It was an understatement that it was different on how you usually looked or dressed when he sees you, even for work, you’re usually just dressed casually with your usual no-make up face. “Wow! Are you finally going on a date?”, he asked.

You hit his arm as you walked out the room, slinging your bag to get ready. “Shut up! I’m going to my high school reunion.”

“You know, if you dress like this every day, I’m going to have to put my moves on you.”, he smirked.

“As if your moves would work on me. Go away now! I’m going to be late.”, you practically shoved him out your door and let yourself out too.

“Have fun!”, he bid you goodbye as you walk off out the hallway of your apartment building.

You were drumming your fingers on the side of the glass of the drink you have been nursing since you got inside the ballroom of the hotel. After signing for registration, you were given your assigned table number and so far, you’re the only one in your table. Aside from being alone, you’re trying to calm yourself in preparation for meeting everyone. And “everyone” meant including your childhood best friend, Im Jaebum. The one you had a one-sided love affair with. Your “the-one-that-got-away”. The perfect “man” in your life. You’ve been head over heels with him even when you were just kids, and was amplified when you went on puberty, until college brought you apart. You took different courses but still kept in touch. Until when you started working, one night when you and a few close friends got together, he introduced his girlfriend. You didn’t’ saw it coming, and it just hurt you more. After that, you made up a lot of excuses, mostly about work, to avoid him. You wouldn’t have wanted to come in this reunion if not only your best friend, Kat threatening to end your friendship if you wouldn’t come.

One by one, your close friends came, and soon only one seat is unoccupied. The one beside you. And as you feared, was reserved for JB. He finally came after a few minutes, and he was still as handsome as ever that you felt your knees weak as soon as you glimpsed his crescent eye smile. You were taken aback when he went straight towards you and gave you a tight hug, “Y/N! I missed you.”, he say through your hair, as he patted the back of your head gently. You awkwardly accepted the hug, and let yourself feel his warmth, with your arms reaching for his wide back. You were glad. He’s still the same JB. Your JB.

“So, as I was saying…”, Kat continued telling her story as soon as everyone sat down at the table, “I said yes!”, showing her ring finger, as proof that Mark Tuan, another one of your closest friends finally proposed to her. No wonder she had to threaten you to come. She planned to announce her engagement in this reunion. She invited everyone of you to her wedding with both you and JB as part of the entourage. It’s not a surprise since JB has always been a close friend to Mark, as you were to Kat.

“So, I’m finally going to see you wearing those silk flowy dresses with flowers in your hair.”, JB said when he followed you to the open bar, leaving your friends at your assigned table.

“And I, you, wearing those formal pants and clean dress shirts.”, you teased back.

“You might. Or might not. You know how I hate being all traditional.”, he said. “It’s been good to see you. It’s been awhile.”, he quickly followed.

You cocked your head. “Has it? I got too busy with work and time just passed.”, you lied. It’s been exactly 4 years, 5 months 1 week and 3 days since you last saw him. You counted.

Thankful you’ve gotten pretty good at hiding your anxiety, you somehow held a normal conversation with him. It’s gotten too good that you probably spent hours talking. You reminisce your school days. He reminded you that one time you fell asleep at class and was called out by your professor. You laughed at how he mimicked how your eyes looked, opened but not really there. Then you teased him for flunking one of your exams because he missed the question number so his answers were off by one.

You got lost in the conversation that you weren’t able to keep track of how many drinks you had. You both turned silent at one point. And suddenly the mood became serious, he was looking at you for a few seconds. “It was always fun hanging out with you.” He said with a sad smile on his face.

Your heart skipped. “Me too. It was too much fun.”, and suddenly you can’t control the words that came out of your mouth after. “In fact, it was too much fun that made me fall in love with you.”

If you weren’t too drunk, you would have seen the surprised look on his face with what you just said. But your stupid self continued exposing your lovelorn past (present) state, “It’s gotten quite bad that I’ve practically avoided you for so long because it hurts to see you with someone else.”

Someone stop me!, you imagine your sober self scream from inside you.

“Y/N, I-“, he began to respond.

You put your hand on his and quickly stood up, “Hold that, I need to pee.”, you say before swaying your way to the ladies room.

You woke up with a throbbing head ache the next day. You walked over to stop the loud continuous knock from your door.

Yugyeom whistled from the other side of the door when you opened, “Must have been one hell of a high school reunion.” He said.

“What do you want, Yugyeom?”, you asked, frustrated.

He raised his towel this time, “My shower broke, I need to get cleaned up for work.”

You didn’t even bother asking what caused his shower to break and instead let him in and went straight back into your room and into your bed. You swiped the phone from your bed side table to see numerous chats from your friend, Kat.

Mark’s Kat: “Drink plenty of water when you wake up.”

Mark’s Kat: “Oh, and btw girl, clean up your room! It looks like a warzone up there!”

Mark’s Kat: “JB contacted me asking where you lived so I gave him your address.”

Your eyes shoot up when you read that last message. And as if on cue, another knock was heard from your door.

You hurriedly got up and gave a quick look at your face in the mirror. Hair disheveled, eyes red and puffed. Face bloated. What the fuck! You screamed internally.

Finally, you opened the door halfway and saw JB standing outside your door. You see on his hands are a few bags of take-out food.

His face contorted in a worry when he saw the mask over your face, “Did you get sick?”

“No!”, you quickly answered, shaking your head. “I’m not sick. I… I just look like hell this morning.”, you admitted.

“Oh”, he smiled, relieved. “Can I come in? I brought chicken and rice soup for your hangover.”, he offered, raising the bags for you to see.

“I’m sorry, JB, I-“, you began to say, thinking of things to throw him out the door without letting him know you were too embarrassed to face him after all you confessed last night. Just then, Yugyeom came out of the bathroom, half naked. And which JB caught a glimpsed from your half-opened door.

“Are you with someone?”, he asked, confused.

“Uhhh-yeah.”, you’re still clutching the edge of the door not wanting to open it fully and let him see the mess in your place.

Still, he peered in to see half naked Yugyeom drying his hair with the extra towel from your bathroom.

“Oh.”, he nodded. Though you can’t read his expression. “I didn’t know you’re living with someone. Is he your boyfriend?”

You nodded. You would have admitted to anything just to make him leave.

JB smiled again and handed the food to you, “Take it. Just heat it up if it’s already cold. I’ll see you next time.”

“Thank you.”, was all you can say.

He left and you leaned your back to the closed door, looking at the food he brought you.

“I’m just gonna hang this here, okay?”, Yugyeom said gesturing the towel he used from your bathroom.

You only now realized, he’s half naked. The towel that he brought the only thing covering his torso. The clothes he worn was thrown on his shoulders. JB saw that!?

“Thank you for the shower, I owe you.”, he said and continued to walk towards the door that you are still leaning against to.

“Wait!”, you quickly recovered your voice when he reached for the door knob.

He chuckled and is now a few inches away from your body, “What? You want a quickie?”

You hit his arm much harder now, “What!? No!”, you only stopped him in fear he’s going to run into JB outside your door.

Yugyeom laughed at how red your face is now.

“Look, I have food! I was just wondering if you wanted to eat with me before you leave.”, you offered.

“Uhmm… but I’m still half naked, can’t I get dressed first?”

You paused and realized JB must be out the building by now and he probably wouldn’t see Yugyeom if he goes out of your apartment. “You know what? Forget it. I’ll have breakfast by myself.”, you said.

“What? But I want to eat, too!”, he whined.

Kat called another get together for lunch to talk about the wedding plans. As part of the entourage, you are “required” to go. You’re just hoping JB wouldn’t ask you about your confession from the reunion and just leave you since he technically thinks you’re with someone now.

Kat was just done discussing the wedding theme. The color motif was rose red and so that’s what your silk flowery dress’s color will be. You’re just thankful it’s not pink or other neon colors that would make you look like a traffic officer. Kat is now asking around on plus ones, or if anyone would bring an extra guest to the wedding so she can finalize the guest count.

You were surprised when JB spoke, his eyes piercing to yours, after spending most of that morning not talking, “You should bring your boyfriend.”

You were rendered speechless. “What??? Y/N has a boyfriend?”, Kat asked, she was looking alternately between you and JB, waiting for someone to confirm.

“Yeah, I saw him when I dropped by the other day.”, JB answered, he straightened from his seat and took a sip of wine from his glass.

Although you’re thankful that he’s not staring at you anymore, your friend Kat is now looking at you, with questions one after another, “And you didn’t tell me? Wait, is that why your room is such a mess? You HAVE to bring him next time! We HAVE to interrogate him, don’t we sweetie?”, she turned to face Mark who just answered with a smile. “This is so exciting!”, she added and took down notes on her little wedding-planning-notebook.

“And you JB, I’m assuming you’re bringing Jen?”, Kat asked, now focusing her attention to JB.

JB shook his head, “No. We’ve broken up for a while now.” He answered.

“Why is nobody telling me things!?”, Kat exclaimed, “Since when!? Mark! Did you know about this?”, she turned to her quiet fiancée.

“Uh, yeah.”, Mark answered, wiping his face with the table napkin, ready to face the wrath of his soon-to-be-wife.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?”, Kat asked.

“Sweetie, it’s not my story to tell.”, Mark’s voice was as if laced with honey, to pacify his fiancée.

Maybe because you’ve been away for so long that you can’t read JB’s expression when you looked at him. But you still felt sorry, and guilty at the same time. Not being there for him when he broke up with Jen. You didn’t know how their relationship was because your selfish self didn’t want to get involved but it must’ve hurt, even a little.

The next day, Yugyeom was surprised to see you knock on his door.

“We need to talk.”, your face was serious when you saw him answer.

Although confused, he let you in without saying anything. He picked up the bowl of cereal he was eating for breakfast and continued putting a spoonful to his mouth.

“This place is a mess.”, you say after taking a quick look around the room.

“Yours is too, but I don’t state the obvious. Anyway, I don’t think you’re here to talk about how I clean up my apartment.”, he was still chewing the cereal and his hand was still on the spoon, ready to put another to his mouth. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Right.”, you tiptoed, “I’m going to have to call on those favors you owe me.”

He shrugged, “Okay. Shoot.”

You held your breath for as long as you can, you really couldn’t figure how to say it, but just state it for what it is “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

He choked on his cereal and almost made a complete mess. He’s coughing up milk and you helped pat his back. “I’m sorry? Your boyfriend?”, he asked.

He placed the bowl down and stood up, “Me? Pretend to be your boyfriend?”, he’s repeating it as if those words are foreign.

“Yeah.”, you confirmed again.

“We-How.. How exactly should we do that?", he panicked, “Should we date? Or be intimate or something? I need details! We both know I don’t really know how to be a boyfriend.”

“Calm down.”, you say. Although, you don’t really know how it would work too. You both sat down and you tried to explain what you needed from him, “We just need to date for the wedding I’m attending to by end of the month. And there’s going to be gatherings, lunches and dinners before then”, you enumerated, “so I’m going to need you to accompany to some of them. And don’t worry… I’m going to pay for everything!”

After just a few seconds of thinking, you heard him say, “Okay.”

Surprised by how quick he answered you curled your eyebrows. Maybe he didn’t understand what you were asking of, “Okay? You’re good with that?”

He nodded. “I told you I’m serious when I say I owe you, right?”

You felt relieved. And thought of something again. “Oh, and this goes without saying but just to be clear, I can’t risk having this found out. We’re going to pretend to be dating until the wedding day, okay?”

He nodded again.

“That means no dating other girls before then too, get it?”

“What??”, he exclaimed. He looked at you again and let out a defeated sigh. “Okay. Then I guess I have to cancel my plans this week.”

A/N: Team JB or Team Yugyeom? ^_^

#got7 #got7 fanfic #got7 writing #got7 jb #got7 yugyeom #im jaebum #kim yugyeom #got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #kpop writing #kpop fanfic #got7 jb fanfic #got7 yugyeom fanfic #got7 fluff #jus2

117 notes · View notes

kyunsies · 2 years

Note

MÄDCH!!!!!!!

Hello hello - it has taken me a while to reply because it has been a public holiday where I am for a while now but I am here back at work again today. How has the start of your week been? It is grey and rainy over here.

Are you managing to find more time for yourself after all your hard work? I am always here for whatever you need and I'm always rooting for you! I'm so glad you feel optimistic about how the interviews went - hopefully you can just feel like you can now let go about worrying or overthinking about your next steps because things will just unfold for you. like, now you have done all the hard work you can reap the rewards!

Treatment has been good so far, I'm feeling happier or more optimistic but i started a new program today so we will see how it goes i guess? so one that can help me be healthier in the long run? instead of like crashing and constantly feeling like i am struggling? i hope it will get better anyway... and this is a quieter time for my sector i reckon also which is helpful :)

KPOPFLEX was awesome and it was SO BIG but the organisation had me worried for some people because it was so hot and there really wasnt a lot of shade or anything like that? How is the babysitting going tho? Are you managing to enjoy it or do you just find it ok to pass the time? When's your Nclex exam? OMG also how are you feeling about how the MX renewals are going?

Sending all the love <3 <3

- 💥

angel !!!! SO SORRY THIS IS LATE i've been pretty busy lately :') did you have a good week? are you going to be able to rest for the weekend? also don't worry about not getting back okay you just take your time whenever you can <3

honestly i only had the first couple weeks of may to really chill but honestly between you and me i've been quite stressed lately sldkfjs as i said i'm working to make some money in between this really weird period of time bc i am not yet hired yet LOL ; also this board exam i'm preparing for is stressing me out bc i had to register for the exam but they needed background checks from me since i'm out of state before they can give me the "green light" to take the exam and it's all just stressing me out LOL not to mention looking ofr apartments and stuff :') so ,,,,, no i am not relaxing LOL

about your new program and treatment !!! i really am so happy that you are feeling the results <3 a lot of the times, when ppl notice that their medication or training is working and they start feeling better mentally, the most common things to happen is that ppl start to neglect treatment and forget about it since they feel that they don't need it anymore, which can result in a lot of rebound throughts and behaviors, so i'm really happy it's working for you and i am hoping u stick with it for a long time <3 it's all trial and error and a good program will put your needs first :)

LSKDJF I ALMOST FORGOT KPOP FLEX WAS OUTSIDE SLDKFJ wow it feels like the venue wasn't ready for u guys ;____; i hope no one passed out !! but the babysitting is going alright !! some days she's good for me, others not so good lol, she's only 4 months old so they're supposed to sleep a lot but she only takes like two 30 min naps sometimes which is frustrating sldkfjd so but it could be a lot worse i can't complain! ALSO as i said i don't know when i take my NCLEX exam since they haven't given me the "green light" to take it but hopefully everything will be all set very soon, i just wanna take it and be done w it so all i have to worry about is working and moving ;____; also about the contracts !!!!! honestly forgot about that lol i think ppl are making a really big deal over nothing idk that's just me tho ;____; and everyone is like "this tour feels different something is up" and im like ??? the concert was amazing and everything felt perfect idk what you're talking about lol !!!!!!!!!!!! so yea, it is what it is right now i think :')

#asks #💥 anon #i know this is pretty late hun i am sorry again !!!!!!

0 notes

ithisatanytime · 3 years

Text

To be honest im very glad she loves her boyfriend so much, initially i asked about her relationship status and she said it was open, and was very firm about that fact, emphasizing it to the point that it was the only thing leading me to believe she was at all receptive to my advances, of course thats not enough because i was so forward, and i knew she just likely wasnt that into me. but today when i pressed the issue, as i am a horny man and frankly im in a damn hurry, she changed her tune, now he was her soul mate. and you know what nothing could have made me happier. my last serious girlfriend was in a committed relationship but it was on the rocks, in part do to her going off her birth control (i was high test compared to her boyfriend, he had better musculature but prenatal test exposure was lower in the womb as evident by me being 6′2 and having masculinized bone structure in comparison to his.) and losing all attraction to him, also i kind of fucked their shit up by randomly confessing my feelings for her, we had known each other for close to ten years at that point, but i never made my feelings known because she was so fucking hot to me i just never thought of her as a possibility quite frankly, i was fucking SHOCKED to find out she felt exactly the same. this same exact scenario played out for me when i was a young man and i literally forced my girlfriend to go on hormonal birth control, the hormones in birth control literally trick your body into thinking that your pregnant, and pregnant women have different taste in men, they are looking for a provider obviously, their behavior changes dramatically, in part because they lose interest in higher testosterone but good physical genetics mates as they need someone to be their when they raise their baby, typically (naturally) this only lasts for 9 months than the baby comes, if the man who fathered the child is able to weather the emotional shit storm, he will stick with you through anything, and is thus a good potential provider for your offspring, the opposite is true if they met you while on hormonal birth control, as they value you for your provider traits and when they go off the bc their body thinks they are no longer pregnant, hence her looking for a big strong bull (me) too impregnate her.

she knew this indian guy since they were children, it was fucking obvious they were meant to be together, i hated being responsible for the heartbreak i caused BOTH of them. dude still wanted to be with her after she kicked him out of her life to fuck some drug addicted retard (me) but heres the thing i am not talking shit about her, they literally cant fucking help it, we are slaves to our hormones. i was very pleased to find out that she was hesitant to go on birth control as it “makes her crazy” i was so glad she brought it up and felt that way, as imagine going over this shit with a potential girlfriend, imagine how well thats going to go over! i have been familiar with hormonal BC’s effects on womens sexual preferences and ability to pair bond since i watched a documentary on the discovery channel about sex with i was 13, i was trying to masturbate, but i learned a lot instead, despite how crazy this sounds, all of this is accepted science and new papers get released about it every couple of years or so, its fucking insane that women arent made aware of this common side effect of birth control, so imagine how fucking conflicted i felt when she was adamant about getting back on birth control, i was 99 percent sure she would fall out of love with me, and at the time , it was insane to me how much she clearly loved me, she promised shed get off birth control as soon as i asked, i pleaded with her, saying that by the time she was on bc for even a couple weeks shed no longer love me or give a fucking shit what i had to say anymore, which seemed RIDICULOUS at the time, but she promised shed go off it as soon as i asked, i knew that would not be the case. within literal days after getting the hormonal IUD put in, she stopped looking at me the same, we started fighting all the time, it was horrible to see, especially for the second time, all men know what i am talking about, when that lok disappears, and of course she didnt get it taken out when i asked, and of course the fighting got worse and worse, who the fuck could stand living with me without loving me, suddenly all the bad shit about me (no job prospects, bad provider) that she had already been aware of for years became an issue, blah blah blah, it wasnt her fault, imagine being forced to live iwth someone who you didnt love, who loved you and stil wanted to fuck you. and of course as the fighting got worse and she slept on the couch, i could no longer sleep, i became obsessively jealous (mate retention strategy caused by testosterone masculinizing the brain) i knew she wasnt cheating on me, there was literally no way, but my guts were twisting and churning every single day, my behavior became increasingly erratic (men behave irrationally as well, in their own way) it all came to a head, after a solid month of the cold shoulder, i had finally landed a job interview to be a car salesmen (i built up a relationship with the neighbor i smoked iwth, and he landed me the job) but the day before i was set to be interviewed we had a massive fight which i started, because i tried to reason with her (in love men and women arent governed by reason) that she had been giving me the silent treatment for a month and i had been on my best behavior, which i had been, buying her gifts and flowers with the profit sharing check i got from my old job, but she started grabbing her stuff to leave, she wouldnt tell me where she was going and in my irrational state i was sure she was going to fuck an entire football team, an unbelievably searingly painful thought for a man, women literally cant comprehend this as they dont experience jealousy in the same way men do. so i slammed out of the house first into the streets of new york city, huffing and puffing trying to to cry as i pushed past the crowded streets, it was like 4 pm in the middle of queens. i found a bar and sat at the center of the bar, it was pretty empty when i walked in since it was like four o clock in the afternoon. i had 300 hundred dollars in my pocket and i spent it all that very night on beers and shots and whiskey sours, i had never gone to a bar of my own volition before and can count on one hand the amount of times id set foot in a bar, but i had been drinking more than i ever had in my life. the pain of jealousy and losing someone that i sincerely loved, and intended to marry was so intense that i started drinking and basically didnt stop until we were separated (havent really touched the stuff since, i dont really like alcohol) but i was losing the girl i loved, she was supposed to be my wife. i drank like there was no fucking tomorrow, just waiting for her to call me, which she did, but there was no love in her voice, no news on where she was, or who she was with (her girlfriends, studying for an exam) so i hung up and went back to drinking, my bartender was a young women, who may have been pretty i was not paying attention, so much so that when she finished her shift and left the bar, and a young woman sat next to me at the bar and tried to talk to me, she grew angry with me that i didnt realize it was the same bartender, who had been serving me drinks all night, she left in a huff, soon i felt people pressing up against my back as i finished my 20th drink of the day, i was way past my limit, but i was about to lose the girl i loved and become homeless on the streets of new york in my mind, she would never have done that to me, but my “home” had evaporated as soon as i left to new york, and after i lost my job delivering refrigerators he made it pretty clear he didnt want me around. he was not my real dad after all, just another of my mothers boyfriends, its not the same as a biological dad, for as good as he was and as much as he did for me, i was becoming too much, i cant describe the fear of the streets for someone who spent their lives homeless or near homeless is like, its always there. so i drank that way as the NYC bar grew very crowded and noisey, i had picked the hottest socail spot in the city to drown my sorrows,. i would drink until i couldnt feel the pain anymore, go home, puke my guts out, not remember anything and then regroup in the morning after she got home from her boyfriends house, thats a problem for tomorrow me. i was just waiting for her to call me and maybe show me some sign of warmth, some sign of the person i fell in love with. she did call me in fact, i was too drunk and the bar was too loud for me to hear it, i got up to take a piss and only then realized how crowded the bar actually was, people were dancing behind me the whole time and i didnt even realize it, it was packed from wall to wall, as i got up to take my piss, my last five fell out of my pocket onto the ground and i nearly fell over trying ot pick it up, plus the last shot i took i just spilled down my shirt sleeve, it was time to go home. i drunkenly stumbled towards the door the bar was so packed i literally had to raise my arms into the air (this detail will be important for later) as i made my way towards the exit suddenly she appeared in the doorway, i cannot describe to you my relief in this moment, how did she even find me? it was the last clear memory i have from that night, the only other memory i have is foggy, me drunkenly bragging that i could have beat up every dude in the bar and girls were totally trying to fuck me (see? im valuable) as she drove me home, the rest of that night is completely lost to me, i found myself suddenly in our bed, in the morning, i felt more hungover than i had ever been in my life by a factor of ten, i was shaking uncontrollably still half drunk and frightened (if youve never blacked completely out before you cant know what thats like) she informed me that i had pushed her, i was horrified, how could this have happened, and what more could i have been capable of, i didnt have time to process that however as her dad was on his way over from upstate new york, in my half drunk and frightened mind i knew he was coming to fight me, i went into fight or flgiht mode *if your dead comes here i wil lfuck him up!” even i couldnt believe i said that , her father was an unbelievably kind and gentle man, but i was frightened, i was gonna be homeless on the streets of new york, a forgotten man who fell through the cracks in the safety net, and worse i deserved it, my sense of self was shattered, how could i have pushed her? she made the right decision in having her father turn around, and head back to upsate new york. i cried like a fucking baby, how could i have done this? my father was a drunk who beat the shit out of my mother, and i remembered it vividly. i sobbed and sobbed, i had been doing a lot of that, i loved her from the beginning and worse, she had loved me too. i had no way of contextualizing it either, for me it was as if someone had woken me up to inform me that in my sleep i had punched a child, think about that, how do you process it? i had prided myself in never putting my hands on a woman unless she asked first (thats its own story that i will never fucking tell) i ddint even remember it, like at all, i ddint even remember us fighting, apparently i was barfing and doing somersaults of the bed and shit, as you do when you are blackout drunk. and she had never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked a single weed in her life, she must have been absolutely terrified. i wanted to die, it was over for good. we had made up in a sense, as the reality of the situation set in, we only ever held each other on the first and last night i was in newyork, and both times, you wont believe this but i have to say it because it was so strange, we cuddled face to face while her two cats cuddled each other inbetween us, only the first and last night.

part of why it was so hard for me, was because i knew i would miss her bitterly for the rest of my life, literally every day until i died, i knew from experience, and she woudl be really upset for a few months maybe and then never think about me again. my only hope was that she got back together with tha tindian boy she grew up with, he fucking cried outside of their apartment, and stil asked about her when she left him for me, this tore me up, as id been on the other end of that, he loved her better than i did, they were meant to be married but hormonal fucker and jewish sabotage has a combined effect of just fucking women right up, men too but i feel worse for the women. if you fuck a guy you should just stay with them honestly, you will be much happier long term. this started out as one thing, and then turned into something different, as i had been meaning to tell that story for years now. i know it seems like a lot of self pity and to be fair theres a lot of remorse too even to this day, i barely touched a drop of alcohol in the years since, and occasionally it will hit me like a ton of bricks out of the blue and i will excuse myself into my room to cry into the macaroni and cheese i was eating.

0 notes

irregulardiaryposts · 3 years

Text

16:35 01/03/2021

so. its now march!!!!! march is an okay month. but it also means its been a year since corona really kicked off and thats proper weird to think about. it feels like absolutely fuck all has actually changed but yet im a very different person yk. i played minecraft for 10 hrs last week. im addicted to it. this time last year i was kinda sick and we thought i had corona but since testing wasnt really available i just had to stay home ages. it was horrible but to think that was a whole YEAR ago is absolutely fucking wild.

anyway back to minecraft. i absolutely love it. its such a simple game and you can truly play however you want to. like. if u dont want to bother beating the enderdragon or doing any serious grind stuff, you can literally just fuck about doing whatever you wanna do... u wanna build a little cottage in the woods? yes. u wanna pick lowers and decorate and build cute farms? yes. u wanna explore a vast and expansive world filled with literally endless possibilities and find pets and loot and different biomes and blocks? yes. you wanna mess around with ur friends? yes. u wanna do pvp or multiplayer games? yes. u wanna meet new people? yes. u wanna play by yourself and become exceedingly rich? yes. u wanna do all this and comforted by the melodic tunes and beautiful landscapes? yesssssssss. it literally has something for everyone but people get so pissy about how others play its soooo annoying. like so what if someone wants to go into creative and cheat or they wanna play on peaceful or they have keep inventory on? they are playing the game in the way they enjoy the most, the way that makes them happiest, makes them comforted, allows then to enjoy playing it. coz i bet if everyone was made to play the exact same way and there was no way to customise your experience, it would not be nearly as popular as it is. it probs wouldve died out if people werent enjoying it because they got frustrated by it, or too scared to lose their things to progress in the game, or too anxious to play because its scary and they dont know how to beat things. or if people play solely in creative and they enjoy that the most and wanna try survival, they dont deserve to get made fun of coz they want to ease their way into harder things. or if someone just wants to build or just explore or just tame a million dogs, as long as they are happy they are already enjoying the game to the max, they dont deserve people being like “ if u play without X youll enjoy it more coz thats the way we play it” like fuck off it would be like if a hardcore players was like “play in hardcore or ur stupid” ppl would get mad because thats not the way they want to play it and they wouldnt enjoy it as much or at all as the hardcore player does. and dont even get me started on this whole bedrock vs java bs. this its such a waste of time like??? who benefit from this argument? because its silly java players think they are automatically better than every bedrock player because they have java.

like obviouslyyyyyy java is better and im sure a lot of bedrock players would rather java, but u cant lie and say that a lot of og players didnt start on bedrock and then upgrade to java, because as kids u cant really afford a proper pc but everyone has an xbox or an ipad lol. like they literally forget that they probably started playing on bedrock too. and its so stupid because yes while bedrock is a little shit in comparison to java, ITS STILL THE SAME FUCKING GAME just be glad were not fucking fortnite players jesus its pathetic. yes this is essentially a minecraft post and what fucking about it. i told u im obsessed with it.

i should talk about something else. perhaps my crippling procrastination? its absolutely abysmal how shit at school i am now. i get two unconditional offers and suddenly i think i dont need to do a single bit of work (its kinda true tho) i only have three classes and in doing 1 and 1/2 of them. im not even bothering studying for prelims/exams whatever the fuck because im hopeless. theres no point because even if i do end up doing the exam and i fail theres absolutely no consequences because i have 0 shame. ill walk out of an exam i failed with my head held high because i know uni will be so much better - ill only have one subject, one i actually enjoy and want to do work for (only somewhat tho, my procrastination problems still carry through, im actually doing this instead of a 15 min thing for class but whatever) ill have a reduced working day, i can focus on just one subject, ill have other things to work on too like a part time (scary) and car (exciting) and ill get to meet new people that also want to learn spanish and are interested in it too, and i want to make more friends and i want to be more independent (moving out??? hopefully but also scary)

i cant believe im actually at a point in my life where im actually interested in the future and want to live to see it (lol yeah) like i wonder what 13 yo me would think. even 15 yo me. i wonder how 20 yo me will look back on this. hi me if ur reading. do u have a s/o?? or new friends? how many new experiences have u had? are u comfortable in ur life? struggling ? happy? i hope ur happy coz u deserve to be. i deserve to be. i hope u have a good time reading these. i dont know if ill ever forget about this blog or not. what was i talking about tho. procrastination. its horrible, I hope u get that fixed pls tell me u do. also please tell me u get better at typing. this has accidently turned into a speaking to ur future self thing. ill stop now.

im a very good procrastinator. and my ability to actually focus on stuff has been getting comical. idk if its the pandemics fault or mine or schools but is a bloody issue and it needs to get better. i guess its coz i just have absolutely 0 energy do do what i need to or it just absolutely does not interest me to do it and i know theres absolutely no consequences to it looool.

every now and then theres a day where i feel very unproductive and lazy and it feels like how it used to. a sort of growing annoyance at myself and feeling like a slug. idk some days i feel teleported back to like almost 4 years ago and idk what to do about it. i used to have a coping mechanism (?) where if i felt bad about stuff id just shower, wash my hair and put on new pjs and do something i wanted to do. it kinda put me in a clearer headspace and allowed be to get out of a slump for like 20 mins. u could call it self care or whatever but it genuinely was like washing the bad thoughts away and starting anew (is that the word) like i was able to think more rationally and get back into the semi real world but i was also doing it because i never used to have a proper shower routine, i used to go days without showering or getting out of bed for much and it kinda feels good to have this little reboot thing where i just shower to get me away from straying back there.

idk. am i articulating well enough. ive written a lot i think. is there any more updates? nothing really apart from my growing disinterest in all things school lmao. anyway until next time i suppose (will probs be either never or like june lol)

#this is horrible rambling #i dont think i make a singular concise point #anyway that doesnt matter because i do what i want #im listening to mincraft music at the moment did i tell u that #i goddamn love this music #it is literally better than the beatles #im prepared to fist fight anyone that says otherwise #maybe not actually i dont think i could be bothered hahahahahahahahahahahahah #march 2021 entry #2021 the year of fun

0 notes

citious · 7 years

Text

CHAPTER 4

Characters

Main: Yoon Jinmyung, Jung Yeeun, Song Jiwon, Im Sungmin

Supporting: Kwon Hochang, Yoo Eunjae, Jo Eun, Parents

Note: If you haven’t read Chapters 1, 2, 2.5 and 3, you may do so here –> Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 2.5, Chapter 3

In a nutshell: Yoon-sunbae is visiting her childhood home as per her mom’s request. Is there a hidden purpose aside from her mom who misses her? Yeeun is going for another meeting with her relatives, and Yeeun will have to face a possible obstacle between her relationship and her parents. Meanwhile, Sungmin is going to encounter the unexpected, what is it and how will it go?

Rating: T

Belle Époque

17th February 2018

8.00 a.m.

Yoon-sunbae went out of the bathroom, damping her towel with her wet hair. It’s Saturday, and she had promised her mom to pay her a visit.

She opened the fridge to check the contents. There was nothing she could consume right away, so she took a carton of milk from the fridge door, and grabbed a box of Oreo cereal from the overhead cabinet. She poured a considerable amount of cereal in a bowl and poured a good amount of milk before consuming it for breakfast.

11.30 a.m.

It’s the time of the month again, when Yeeun’s parents and her relatives are gathering to catch up on everyone’s ‘accomplishments’.

Yeeun sighed as she saw her parents’ car approaching Belle Époque. She wore a feminine white dress with sheer short sleeves and tied her straight and long hair up this time. Yeeun sat on the backseat, staring blankly at the passing stretch of buildings as the car accelerated.

As the car was parked at the basement, Yeeun and her parents got out of the car. Yeeun’s mom scanned Yeeun from head to toe. Noticing this, Yeeun asked,

Yeeun: Why?

Her mom replied,

Mom: Nothing. Let’s go.

That statement meant one thing – Yeeun didn’t have to do anything about her lip color, her hairstyle, or even the dress she was wearing.

Yeeun’s parents walked in front while she followed behind them. It’s an exclusive Chinese Restaurant this time. Grandma and four of Yeeun’s aunts and uncles were already seated at the huge round table. Yeeun’s mom and dad shook everyone’s hands while Yeeun smiled awkwardly behind them. Suddenly, grandma asked Yeeun to sit next to her. Yeeun involuntarily agreed to her request.

Grandma: How is everything?

Yeeun: Everything is alright, Halmeoni.

Grandma: Are you doing well with the psychological treatment?

Yeeun was surprised when her grandma actually asked her about it.

Yeeun: I’m no longer receiving the treatment.

Yeeun relied with a smile on her face. She wanted to tell her grandma that she could manage herself well.

Grandma: Is that so? That’s great, then. What about a boyfriend? Do you have one, now?

Hearing grandma’s question, Yeeun answered reluctantly,

Yeeun: Well… I do have one now.

Grandma: Is he a nice boy?

Yeeun: He treats me well, Halmeoni. This time I really make sure he won’t do the same thing as what the previous one did.

Grandma: Really? Alright, Yeeun-ah… Honestly Halmeoni is very concerned about you. I think of all my grandchildren as precious, and I only want the best for you, and for our family’s reputation.

Yeeun forced a smile as she listened to her grandma’s explanation. She was glad a while ago when her grandma asked her about her therapy, but now that ‘reputation’ was mentioned, her feelings shattered. Yeeun knew very well what family reputation exactly meant.

For education, it literally means either studying law/doctor/business majors in a top university. For Yeeun’s case, it’s good enough that she went to Yonsei University, one of South Korea’s most prestigious schools. But even that’s not considered very impressive, as all her other cousins are either studying abroad, or taking those preferred majors.

Moving on to jobs. Well, Yeeun’s family members (uncles) are either politicians or those people who deal with law enforcement. Her dad alone is a specialist doctor. So Yeeun knew her major in Food and Nutrition couldn’t really par up to what her uncles and dad are doing, but she knew her major is where her passion is, and she’s going to prove that she can do well later on.

Last but not least, husband. Yeeun thought this would be the hardest thing to tackle. She knew everything too well for this matter. First he has to come from a well-off family. Second, he has to graduate from a top school. Third, he has to have a promising and stable job, someone who can guarantee himself to reach the top of a company hierarchy at least.

Yeeun thought to herself while eating on the round table, ‘My family is seriously no different than those families in a Makjang drama.’

The lunch thankfully didn’t last as long as the last time, and Yeeun was glad that only her grandma interrogated her. If not, her self-esteem could’ve been badly hurt.

On the way back in the car, Yeeun’s dad opened a conversation,

Dad: Yeeun-ah

Yeeun: Yes, Dad?

Dad: Your grandma told me that you have a boyfriend now.

When Yeeun heard her dad’s words, she panicked a little inside.

Dad: Are you sure he’s not gonna do bad things to you again?

Well, that question from her dad actually made Yeeun quite surprised. She thought he would scold her for telling her grandma that she’s dating a new guy after her last relationship fiasco. To that, Yeeun replied,

Yeeun: Yes… I have a boyfriend now, but no, Dad. I made sure that he’s a really nice guy. I’ve introduced him to my friends and they all agreed that he’s a really nice guy.

Yeeun’s dad could only hum at Yeeun’s explanation. Maybe he still couldn’t believe her daughter 100%.

Dad: Yeeun-ah, is it too much to ask if mom and dad want to meet your boyfriend together with you?

Yeeun’s heart suddenly beat fast upon listening to her dad’s request. She gulped and said,

Yeeun: Hm… Honestly it might be too early for him to meet you, but of course I’ll tell him about this and set up a date.

Dad: Is that so? Alright, then.

Yeeun’s mind suddenly got flooded with so many concerns. She was scared at the thought that her parents might reject Hochang.

Bus Station

9.30 a.m.

Yoon-sunbae rode an inter-city bus on her way to visit her mom. The distance between Seoul and he mom’s place wasn’t so far, so it’s actually quite convenient for her. Strangely, though, Yoon-sunbae just didn’t really have a close relationship with her mom ever since her late brother got into a vegetative state.

She considered herself very sinful when she wished her brother to die, but without that, her family would still be suffering until now. Yoon-sunbae’s relationship with her mom improved a little after the death of her brother, and more recently because she got herself a stable job in a reputable entertainment company.

As the bus reached the city bus interchange, Yoon-sunbae hopped off. The journey took her about 2 hours, which wasn’t too bad. She continued her journey with a local bus and finally reached the neighborhood where her house was located.

She walked towards a traditional Korean house that looked nicely managed. She flinched as the gate made a screeching sound upon entering the house’s courtyard. As she approached the main door, she knocked the door and said,

Jinmyung: Hello, mom… Jinmyung is here.

After waiting for a while, the door sled and Yoon-sunbae’s mom came out to greet her,

Mom: Oh, Jinmyung-ah, you’re here…

It’s been so long since she visited the house. The last time was probably 6 months ago, also when Yoon-sunbae’s mom called her to visit. If not, she wouldn’t have the initiative to do so. That’s just how estranged their relationship was.

As Yoon-sunbae stepped into the house, her mom asked,

Mom: Have you eaten?

Yoon-sunbae who was hungry as she’d only eaten a bowl of cereal in the morning replied,

Jinmyung: No, not yet.

Her mom looked a little concerned and said,

Mom: Wait here, I’ll bring you some rice and side dishes.

Yoon-sunbae sat down on the wooden floor in front of a small table that was meant to be for a dining table. She reminisced the times she spent in that house about 20 years ago when her family was still complete. Her dad, mom, and little brother were always with her at the dining table every night, every day.

Her dad unfortunately died from liver cancer when she was in High school. Since then, Yoon-sunbae and her brother couldn’t live the lives they used to have. Her mom didn’t exactly have a fixed source of income and would borrow money from loan sharks. That’s when Yoon-sunbae had to start working part-time while cramming to study for her university entrance exam. She was a hard worker from a young age, and she knew she was the only hope for her remaining family members.

Just when Yoon-sunbae graduated from High school with flying colors and got accepted at Yonsei University’s Business Management major, her brother was involved in a major accident that caused him permanent absence of responsiveness and awareness. The main cause of that was because her brother was devastated at their father’s passing, and he became a truant child.

Yoon-sunbae felt like her burden just kept piling up in her early youth. She remembered crying in her sleep every night because she felt like her life was too much for her to handle.

Just then, Yoon-sunbae woke up from reminiscing her painful memories when her mom came back from the kitchen with a tray full of home-cooked food.

Mom: Eat up.

Yoon-sunbae put on a smile and tasted the beansprout soup in front of her. She commented genuinely,

Jinmyung: It’s delicious.

Her mom smiled at Yoon-sunbae who seemed to joyfully enjoy the food that she cooked. It was a rare occasion.

Belle Époque

12.30 a.m.

The doorbell to the share house rang. Eunjae ran to open the door. It was the food delivery man. She handed in a few notes in exchange for the food that was delivered.

Eunjae, Eun and Jiwon were together at Belle Époque, and after discussing what they wanted to eat, they went for Tangsuyuk and some fire chicken for lunch because their fridge’s condition was dire. There was no food at all.

The three sat together at the dining table and started munching the food. Eunjae candidly asked a question,

Eunjae: Jiwon-sunbae, aren’t you gonna go out today?

Jiwon: Me? I don’t know.

Eunjae and Eun glanced at each other as they heard Jiwon’s reply. Eun added,

Eun: But why? You have a boyfriend now. You should go and meet him.

Jiwon smirked a little and responded,

Jiwon: So what if I have a boyfriend? I mean, we don’t have to see each other every day right?

Eunjae: But don’t you miss him already? Usually couples who just got together want to see each other every day…

Eun: I agree. That’s so true.

Jiwon being Jiwon, she replied,

Jiwon: Aish, don’t compare me with other people. Don’t you guys know I’m special and unique? I’m sure he’s fine. It’s not like he’s dying to see me now.

Eunjae and Eun just stayed still as both partly disagreed to Jiwon’s comment, but they brushed it off as there’s no point in talking back to Jiwon who’s all for her self-confidence.

Sungmin’s Apartment

12.35 p.m.

Sungmin’s usually a morning person, but strangely, he woke up past noon that day. It was the first time he could sleep that soundly after the misunderstanding incident with Jiwon the other day. He literally thought that Jiwon hated him, and he couldn’t get himself to sleep.

Sungmin stretched his body and put on a huge and happy smile. He reached out his hand towards his phone that’s on the bedside table.

He unlocked his phone and opened the message Jiwon sent him. He squealed and kicked his blanket when he saw it,

‘It feels like a dream,’ Sungmin thought.

Right at that moment, Sungmin wanted to ask Jiwon out, but he wanted to keep his cool, and decided to wait for Jiwon to say Hi or make the move first.

Sungmin went for a shower and thought Jiwon would text him, it was lunch time anyway, so he expected a message from Jiwon. As Sungmin finished showering and went out to check his phone with a smile, his expression suddenly turned disappointed as there wasn’t any message coming in from his girlfriend.

To calm himself down, he thought, ‘maybe she’s still sleeping. I’ll wait longer.’ He then went to the kitchen to cook ramyun. He turned on the TV and sat down on the sofa in the living room while eating the ramyun that he cooked right from the pot.

Knowing Brothers appeared on TV, and Sungmin seemed to enjoy it at first, but after 30 minutes trying to watch the variety show, it got boring, so he changed one channel up.

Right at that moment, the TV showed a drama where a couple was having a sweet date out on a beautiful day. He looked back to see the sky from the huge window behind him. He turned off the TV right away, went to his room to wear his navy bomber jacket, put on his shoes and stormed out of the apartment.

Belle Époque

1.30 p.m.

Yeeun reached Belle Époque and saw her parents drove off. She walked towards Belle Époque’s house entrance with her face looking sullen. She stopped halfway to grab her phone in her purse to call Hochang.

Hochang: Hello?

Yeeun skipped greeting him back and asked,

Yeeun: Can we meet?

Hochang was a little startled when Yeeun dashed him with a question right away.

Hochang: … Eo… of course. Where do you want to meet?

Yeeun: Just at the usual place.

Hochang: When?

Yeeun: Now.

Yeeun hung up as soon as she finished her words. She knew she was acting cold towards Hochang on the phone, but as a matter of fact, she really didn’t mean to talk to him that way.

At the café…

Hochang was already seated when Yeeun came in through the glass door. Hochang waved at Yeeun with a smile to signal where he was sitting. Yeeun took a sit in front of him.

Without beating around the bush, Hochang who saw Yeeun’s sullen expression, asked,

Hochang: What’s the matter?

Yeeun had her face looking down, just staring blankly at the table while flicking her nails. After a while, Yeeun finally looked up and answered,

Yeeun: You… are you okay if my parents want to meet you?

Hochang who heard what Yeeun just said, pointed his index finger at himself,

Hochang: Me?

Yeeun nodded her head twice to respond.

Hochang pondered and replied with confidence,

Hochang: Yeah. I’m okay.

Yeeun whose expression was dark, turned lighter. She clearly didn’t expect Hochang, whom she knew was ‘socially awkward,’ could answer the question confidently.

Yeeun: Are you sure?

Hochang: Yeah. Definitely.

Yeeun: You’re not scared?

Hochang: Ani, I’m scared, but I’ll meet them… for you.

Yeeun, who heard Hochang’s answer had her eyes teary, but before her tears could fall, she looked up and wiped it with her wrists. Yeeun told Hochang how she truly felt,

Yeeun: Honestly, I’m scared. I’m scared because I know what my parents expect of my boyfriend and I’m so worried that they may not accept you.

Hochang couldn’t stand Yeeun looking sad, so he stood up and sat beside Yeeun to hug her. He said,

Hochang: Yeeun-ah, it’s okay… It will all be okay.

Yoon-sunbae’s Home

12:34 p.m.

After Yoon-sunbae gulped down some water from a glass, her mom opened a conversation,

Mom: Jinmyung-ah…

Jinmyung: Hm…?

Mom: Aren’t you turning 30 this year?

Jinmyung: Yes…

Yoon-sunbae’s mom smiled as she seemed to remember something on her mind.

Mom: You know, when I was turning 30, I already have you who was in 1st grade and Jinho who’s 4 years old.

After her mom paused for a while, she continued,

Mom: I married your dad when I was 23 and had you when I was 24. It was honestly the best time of my life. Having a loving husband and a cute baby girl.

Yoon-sunbae’s lips stretched a little as she thought, ‘That’s true…. Dad was indeed a loving figure.’

Mom: So I was gonna ask you…

Yoon-sunbae looked at her mom’s eyes and waited for her to finish her words,

Mom: Now that you’re working in a reputable company and have a stable income, why don’t you build a family soon? Eomma knows you have a boyfriend.

Yoon-sunbae froze when her mom suddenly brought up marriage.

Jinmyung: Eomma… why are you suddenly bring up marriage?

Mom: Jinmyung-ah, mom is getting old now, and I have no one but you in this family... Before I leave this world, it’s my dream to see my child start a family of her own.

Yoon-sunbae totally understood her mother’s wish. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, Yoon-sunbae responded,

Jinmyung: Eomma, you know what? I do want to fulfill your wish, I really do…. But I want to let fate decide when the best time for me to do it will be. Nowadays, there are so many things to consider before marriage. The least I can do is to introduce him to you first, but I can’t promise anything yet.

As soon as Yoon-sunbae finished her words, her mom held her hand and said,

Mom: Thank you, Jinmyung-ah....

Belle Époque

3.40 p.m.

Yoon-sunbae got back and everyone was home.

Jinmyung: Hello, girls

The girls looked at Yoon-sunbae’s direction and greeted her back,

Everyone: Annyeong!

Jiwon saw Yoon-sunbae carrying a large bag, and she quickly approached her to help with the things,

Jiwon: Yoon-sunbae, what are these? Wow… home-cooked food?!

Jinmyung: Hm…

Jiwon: Ya….. How nice! Did you visit your mom today?

Jinmyung: Eo, I did.

Jiwon expressed her sadness as she thought about why her mom or dad hadn’t visited to send her some side dishes. She really had no choice but to order in food for lunch earlier.

Suddenly, Jiwon’s phone rang and when she saw the caller ID, she smiled and tucked her hair behind her left ear.

Jiwon: Annyeong!

Jiwon answered the call cheerfully.

The Belle Époque girls had their attention on Jiwon as she exclaimed on the phone.

From the other side of the call, Sungmin said,

Sungmin: Come out.

Jiwon who heard Sungmin’s reply on the phone, frowned a little as she was wondering what’s happening.

She approached the veranda and looked down. Sungmin was there, standing outside the courtyard in front of his car. Jiwon swiftly ran downstairs as soon as she saw Sungmin.

Jiwon approached Sungmin with open arms, but just before she could hug him, Sungmin said,

Sungmin: Stop.

Jiwon who was confused about Sungmin’s word just stood still and thought, ‘why is he like this?’

Sungmin asked Jiwon while looking at the sky with both his hands in the pockets,

Sungmin: Don’t you miss me?

Jiwon who heard Sungmin’s weird question, replied,

Jiwon: Huh?

Sungmin: Aish… Don’t-you-miss-me???

Jiwon couldn’t answer Sungmin’s question and stared at him blankly. She didn’t know how to react.

At the same time, Sungmin couldn’t stand staying cool anymore, and quickly pulled Jiwon into his embrace.

Sungmin: Why didn’t you text me today?

Jiwon: I don’t know…. That’s how we always were…

Sungmin: I know, but we’re different now… Do you know how much I missed you?

After Sungmin popped hat question, he looked at Jiwon’s eyes and lips and moved his face closer to kiss Jiwon, but before their lips could touch, a loud voice came from across the street,

Man: Ya you scoundrel! What are you doing?!

A man and a woman in their mid-50s were seen standing from across the street with their hands holding bags of what seemed like packed foods.

Suddenly, Jiwon exclaimed with a joyful expression,

Jiwon: Appa!

Sungmin: M… mwo? Appa?!

Jiwon: Appa! Eomma!

Jiwon ran towards the man and woman and gave them a big hug.

Sungmin who was left standing outside Belle Époque’s courtyard freeze and thought, ‘I’m so screwed.’

Belle Époque

4.03 p.m.

Sungmin sat next to Jiwon on the sofa. He had both his hands on his laps, feeling more nervous than ever. On the front left sat Jiwon’s dad and mom. They were both scanning Sungmin from head to toe.

The Belle Époque girls were inside Eun’s room, all trying to eavesdrop from the door.

Feeling the awkwardness and tension dominating the atmosphere, Jiwon suggested,

Jiwon: Dad… Mom… Why don’t we do this another time? You all must feel tired from the journey to reach here, right? Hehehehehehe

Jiwon stopped herself from her awkward laugh as her parents didn’t show her any interest for her effort to make them return home.

Dad: So… What’s your name?

Jiwon’s dad asked Sungmin. He himself didn’t know where to start, so asking name was the best thing to do.

Sungmin: My name is Im Sungmin.

Sungmin’s heart beat uncontrollably fast as soon as he finished his response.

Dad: Hm... How did you know my daughter?

Sungmin: I first met her during the university orientation 4 years ago. Jiwon and I take the same major, and we’re also members of the same university newspaper club.

Dad and mom nodded in acknowledgement.

Jiwon’s mom was curious about Sungmin too, so she asked in place of her husband,

Mom: What do your parents do?

Hearing this, Jiwon uttered,

Jiwon: Eomma-

Before she could finish, Sungmin signaled her that it’s fine, so she stopped.

Sungmin: My father works in a TV station, and my mother is a housewife.

Mom: TV station? Is that why you pursued journalism? So you can follow your father’s path?

Sungmin: Not exactly, Eomoni… I really do have passion in journalism. I like to gather facts and think objectively abut current issues. In the future, I do aspire to become one of the key people in the industry.

Hearing Sungmin’s answer that’s full of confidence and certainty about his preference and life goal, Jiwon’s parents shared a glance and nodded in acceptance.

Dad: So… Why do you like our daughter?

Jiwon thought in nervousness about what Sungmin’s gonna respond, ‘is he gonna talk about my sexiness? Or my skills in bed?’ Realizing how inappropriate her thought was, Jiwon shook her head to come to her senses.

Sungmin: Jiwon is...

(The girls in Eun’s room gathered near the door, Eun had her right ear sticking on the door so that she could eavesdrop the conversation).

Sungmin: a person who makes me happy. She may be very talkative and hyper sometimes, and honestly irritating at some point, but I do feel comfortable being around her.

She’s the only one who can make me laugh and lighten up my heart during the hard times.

When I was preparing for my final exams last semester, she even delivered books to my desk at the university newspaper club. But more than anything,

Sungmin looked over to Jiwon who’s sitting beside him and continued his words,

Sungmin: My heart only flutters for Jiwon. That’s what I realized for the past 2 years while having a crush on her.

Without realizing, Jiwon’s mom was smiling ear to ear, her palms were covering her heart. She was deeply touched by Sungmin’s words.

Jiwon, who didn’t expect Sungmin to answer the question that way, had her eyes sparkling in wonder.

Eun overheard Sungmin’s words and whispered the content to the rest of the girls behind her. Yeeun and Eunjae squealed, but Yoon-sunbae asked them to be quiet, so the people outside won’t notice that they’ve been listening in.

After considering Sungmin’s answer, Dad told Sungmin while nodding,

Dad: Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.

Dad then suggested,

Dad: Yeobo, let’s get going then.

After learning that Jiwon’s parents wanted to go home, Sungmin offered,

Sungmin: Abeonim, Eomonim… Can I drop you off at the bus station?

Jiwon whispered,

Jiwon: Ya! Are you crazy?!

Sungmin didn’t budge, but he saw Jiwon’s parents sharing a glance. They agreed.

On the way to the bus station in the car, there was silence in the air, so Jiwon tried to open a conversation,

Jiwon: Eomma, Appa… Why did you come to Seoul so suddenly today?

Mom replied,

Mom: Well, what’s wrong with your parents wanting to see you and sending you food?

She added,

Mom: If we didn’t come, how are we gonna find out that you have a boyfriend already? Why didn’t you tell us?

Sungmin’s grip on the steering wheel fastened as he gulped in nervousness. Sungmin uttered,

Sungmin: I apologize, Abeonim and Eomonim… I should have sent my greetings to you first.

To that, Jiwon’s mom replied with a genuine smile, expressing her fondness for Sungmin,

Mom: Ani, it’s not your fault at all, Im-seobang.

Jiwon blurted,

Jiwon: Mwo? S…seobang?!

Sungmin blinked his eyes and gulped again as he was startled at Jiwon’s mom’s statement.

As they reached the bus station, Sungmin gave Jiwon’s dad a handshake plus a 90° bow, and Jiwon’s dad gave him a pat on the back, saying

Dad: Right, I’ll leave our Jiwon to you. Take care of her well.

Sungmin: Yes, I will, Abeonim.

When Sungmin was about to give Jiwon’s mom a 90° bow, she prevented him from doing it and instead gave him a motherly hug and spoke,

Mom: Thank you, for loving our Jiwon. You’re my daughter’s first boyfriend.

Sungmin could only smile at Jiwon’s mom’s words. He bowed once more and let the parents leave before them.

As Jiwon and Sungmin saw the parents disappear in front of them, Jiwon turned her body to Sungmin, teasing him with her cute voice, and pinched his cheeks,

Jiwon: Sungmin-aaaaah, you did so well!

Sungmin pulled himself back, trying to stop Jiwon.

Sungmin: Ya ya ya ya! Stop it! You-

Jiwon let go of her fingers on Sungmin’s cheeks and turned back, walking towards the car. But before she walked too far, Sungmin chased her and gave her a peck on the lips. He said,

Sungmin: This is for the failed kiss that I wanted to give you earlier in front of the house.

Jiwon complained at the briefness of the kiss,

Jiwon: Aish! If you want to repay it, do it properly!

Jiwon tip-toped and kissed Sungmin’s lips with all her might. She sprung in her steps for the remaining distance to Sungmin’s car.

Sungmin chuckled as he saw his girlfriend’s cute and spontaneous behavior. He followed behind to his car.

6.12 p.m.

On the bus, on the way home…

Jiwon’s Mom: Yeobo, what do you think of that kid?

Dad responded,

Dad: Well, I like him. He knew what he wants in life and I can see the sincerity in him.

Jiwon’s mom nodded in agreement. Something came up on her mind suddenly and asked,

Mom: But I’m curious… Can a person who works at a TV station buy his kid who’s in the university a nice car like that?

Upon hearing her words, dad looked over to his wife and started to question the same thing.

Glossary

Makjang (drama): a sylistic, tonal, or narrative element in dramas that chooses to play up outrageous storylines to keep viewers hooked despite how ridiculous the stories become [T/N from dramabeans.com]

Tangsuyuk: Sweet and sour pork

Seobang: An expression used to 1) address one’s son-in-law or to 2) address someone’s husband (in this case it applies to no. 1)

Thanks for reading.

Read the next chapter:

Chapter 5

#ssongsungmin #song jiwon #im sungmin #song ji won #im sung min #son seung won #son seungwon #park eun bin #park eunin #age of youth #age of youth 2 #age of youth season 2 #jtbc drama #kdrama #korean drama #fanfiction #jiwon #sungmin #the beginning of something unexpected

19 notes · View notes

survivor-kuwait · 5 years

Text

Episode 6 - "Going to bide my time before I could take a shot at any of them." - Maynor

Damn, between Renee and Chloe to get the choppy choppy and it's Renee. the two people I have been speaking to. Wtf. Also clearly Chloe has not been stepping up that much with the social game. i need to find better people to align with.

Well, that didnt go according to plan and now Im by myself. I really trusted Renee in this game. Like I dont have anyone else in this game like that kind of connection. If Im being honest i dont think any of these people really want to work with me 🤷‍♂️ There like 3 people i feel like i can trust but they might just be total bs but theres Ian, Matt S, and Timmy. Even tho i feel like Timmy is gunna want to kill me soon. The only good thing is that i know F2,G2 were hits. So i need to guess at 5 am for 2 days to have all the hits me and Renee discovered. Hopefully no one has found this one either. Cuz i feel like i really need an idol if I end up in warzone again.

God not being us to Skype is really causing me inactivity. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass.

These people are dumb. That is all. Miss you Renee :(

Can i just scratch everything i said before? Im just gunna play a solo game from now on and not care about anyone else. No one really seems they want to play with me. So im just gunna be a floater in the game to try n make moves happen. Hopefully if i end up in warzone these people would actually try and talk game then waiting to the last ugly minute to is so annoying. The only person i hope voted with me is Matt. I really enjoyed talking to him so hopefully he is trustworthy. Like i also want to believe Trace voted Cloe but he doesnt seem someone you should trust but he was the one to tell me it was between Renee and Cloe so like he told the truth but maybe not the way he was voting. Rant down for now. Might have more.

Renee was voted out at the last Warzone, my initial reaction was she was voted out because she had won multiple immunities and people wanted to pick off others that were perceived as challenge threats. This is partly influenced by my prerogative to vote off people who can beat me in challenges. My whole premerge game is about me being perfectly average in challenges, I don't do the best but I don't do the worst. I'm always a solid contributor to my tribe, this format has me second guessing that motif I have for myself. I questioned Corey when he was added back into the Nar chat as to why Renee was voted out, he reminded me of the fact that he felt Renee has had it out for him since the get go. I believe him in that sense because he did say that to me on founding day of Nar. If Corey fully swayed that vote to go to Renee because of those reasons that's a player I want to ally with and be my shield. I think there were ulterior motives going on behind it though. That being said, I do want Corey to see me as a long term partner in this game, I shared with him the fact that I have an advantage, but not my true advantage. I told him that I have a double vote, a double vote is probably the weakest power any one could have in Survivor but seems powerful in a Warzone type setting. Letting him know I have a "double vote" endears him to my side, without him actually knowing I have a pretty strong advantage, The Topaz Idol. It's like a double vote but more like a multiple vote. Chloe keeps surviving and I am so fucking here for it, the more her tribe wants her gone the better it is for everyone on Nar if we can fucking stick together, I don't trust them to stay strong but who knows how people will hide when their neck is at risk. Chloe is an "easy vote" shield but also a vote with Nar the more Ma'an, henceforth will be refered to as "Mane", wants her to be booted.

okay uhm.....so this confessional is coming after the tribal council in which renee was voted out. i was completely blindsided and not in the loop at all about the vote there. i ws told by literally everyone that the vote was chloe and that she was 100% going out. so when renee's name came up 6 times, i was completely shocked. corey told me that the reason i was left out of the loop for the vote was because i'm close to madison and madison is close to renee. so they didn't tell me so tht i wouldn't tell madison. hmm....seems fishy! let's just say i came out of this tribal council not trusting anyone but madison. i'm glad she is my partner and i'm gonna try and get us both immunity this round so that we don't risk going to another tribal bc i could def see us becoming a target soon

youtube

I had my masters exam today so i couldnt spend all day doing it which sucks. I only got up to 31. I dont think imma win immunity. Im most likely going to warzone and Imma be going home most likely if Madison/Jacob/Kage are in there. It sucks. Imma keep trying but i also work at 5pm and challenge is due at 7 so i lose 2 hrs there and its 3:20 right now. And cuz all this I havent eaten at all today.

What I have learned from this challenge is that both the movie Sausage Party as well as Female Genital Mutilation have more average searches per month than World Hunger..by a large margin too, and if that doesn't show what's wrong with this world then I don't know what will.

Corey sending me a message ‘i want to touch up on the vote from last night’ I said okay amd what happened? He has not responded at all. Like you lied thats the simplest answer. Because Renee and I werent coming for you so there wasnt a main reason that I could think of to take out Renee. But gunna be nice and play like oh no worry, i understand. Going to bide my time before i could take a shot at any of them.

This is it, corey and devon are safe, nehe isnt. If I can get chloe and others on board nehe will go home tonight. However.... nehe told me he has an idol, so that complicates things. Ideally I can blindside him and we’re good, but doubting that I just have to make sure the other votes dont land on me. Which means... subtlety. Never my strong point.

Ah shit here we go again. Last tribal really left me with a lot of pieces to pick up and I’m really wishing we had done the easy thing and voted chloe. I like her but I worry that I won’t be able to salvage a relationship with Maynor and Madison who I do like. I’m content with being honest about flipping, even tho I did sort of augment the circumstances. It’s better than doubling down and saying I voted for chloe when I didn’t. And truly I do wish I had voted with them so I hope I can convey that. Being back with Adrian is interesting because he is super close with Corey and Corey sort of has some followers here who I don’t really have strong relationships with without him connecting us. I also feel really nervous about playerslike him and Nehe who are bringing old game shit in, and I don’t want to be collateral damage in their wars against one another. I’m ready to do my own damage.

With immunity again after last week's tribal council, I am feeling pretty good. Devon, Ian and Trace are immune with me and there p much couldn't be a better group of immune people (Trace and Adrian are interchangeable). I hope, from those who are at tribal, Madison, Matt, Adrian and Cullan make it out unscathed. Renee leaving last week was a success to me. I took the first shot and I didn't miss. It also gave me 5 people who I built trust with who will want to use me as an asset later on (those who were part of the plan). As for this tribal council, Maynor or Thomas leaving is ideal. We left Maynor out on the vote this week so I don't know if he'd flip easily to the other side (sort of like Chloe voting with us to get Renee out). However, to keep 4 available immunity positions in our tribe, ideally it's someone from the other side that leaves. I have not interacted with Thomas once nor Stevie (but Stevie is Owen's capricorn tribe mate). Those two boys leaving would be fine by me. I hope there are fights and drama and whatnot as the more things happen and we focus on other people's business, the more I can fade back into the background after getting Renee out last week. With Nehe at tribal this time, who knows. Ian and I have gotten really close and I hope to get far with him. He told me about his double vote and we made our loyalty/alliance to one another official I guess? I also am part of a 4 person alliance, termed "Golden Boys" of Devon, Adrian, Matt and myself. I am trying to set myself up as much as I can so that when we merge or tribes get swapped around, I have people I can rely on. We'll be down to 17 people tomorrow night which is still a very big number and way too early to be loud or making flashy moves. I'm in the process of uncovering an idol or some power of sorts and believe I will have it tomorrow because I have 4 hits on it as of today. I will tell Ian about it. I trust him. I am staying alert and continuously developing my social game to the best of my abilities.

I’m so happy I am safe this round! Kait, Owen, and I are the only ones on our tribe who have been immune every round. I would love for us to group together to keep each other safe, but also I know out of the three that I am the weakest one. But for the time being it seems like at least an okay idea. I will try to make it happen and see where it goes because we could all be good together and work something out because when merge comes people will try to target those who have been safe for the longest time. At least naturally that’s what i would try since they are more likely to win individual immunity. I just hope things work out well for the next couple of rounds.

So I learned lots of things from Matt in this warzone. It looks like it was gunna 5-5 vote last time but he flipped last second not wanting it to be a tie. Im some what upset cuz Renee left but Matt wants to play with me so I feel like I can trust him. I hope. Turns out that Madison actually did vote with me last time so she is in my good side again and i feel bad for doubting she was with me. This vote I want it to go my way. Im hoping i can pull it off. My target is still unknown for right now. Im not the only one that feels like Nehe is a snake. Adrian and Matt know that he is a sneaky player. Tbh I would want to target him sooner rather than later.

I'm starting to think Madison is sitting out all of these challenges to get into the warzone to try to build relationships to propel herself forward if she makes merge, it's a risky strategy but would have huge pay off if it works. I'm gonna go ahead and subvert her expectations by pointing that out to Corey and hopefully get the rumor mill going against her. I see you and I don't like it.

So the vote looks like its gunna be Nehe and Im okay with that. I dont really trust him after he lied to me about the first vote we were together. It may bring my schances of immunity down to 3 but its worth having people to trust in this game.

Love the safety again...naturally I don’t have much to say because I haven’t gone to tribal in a while and I’m so thankful for that. Tbh I’m assuming Chloe will go tonight because it’s the easiest vote but who knows. Hoping it’s someone from the other tribe though that way there can still be 4 safe on my tribe. But also I want a twist tonight.

Tirns out I dont need to plot, we’re voting nehe tonight. Thanks Cullan. However, in case of an idol play I’m voting thomas, plausible deniability and all that.

Ok, so this vote I am controlling very well in my favor as long as I’m not the one going home. I believe I have everyone on Nehe and Nehe is voting Thomas. Nehe thinks all of Nar is voting with him to vote out Thomas who is inactive so let’s hope I don’t get blindsided.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

0 notes

zangse · 5 years

Note

(1) AAAHH HELLO IVE MISSED YOU MAHI!! 💕🌹💖🌸💝💐 im sorry about the late reply, i just got on summer break!! my responses should be more timely now though hehe anyway!! oh im sorry to hear that you didn't get to make bubble tea aww )): omg wait WHAT !!!!! so does that mean you get break for 5 months?? that's almost half a year.... omg that's so amazing,,, Love That ! but wait pt 2 does that mean, depending on your level in school (like high school or university), you end/start school at

(2) different times??? that’s so interesting! oh omg i hope you had fun on your trip!!!!! where did you go and how was it!!!! ✨🌿 oh yes hsksjsk i was asking what you like to draw/make gifs/gfx of!!! omg please you’re great the way you are already, you don’t need to be looking for perfection!! 💕 but yes i totally agree? like i haven’t put much thought into it, but like you said, it’s pretty likely for other life to exist?? like hm it’s ??? to think that out of the WHOLE system and 9+ (plus bc they’re finding more right??) planets, we’re the only planet with life… Hm. hssnsks omg no that’s not weird, that’s really interesting!! i feel like anti gravity is definitely really interesting esp since we’re so used to gravity, like how would it be without it you know? like how would it affect our lives and what kinda changes would we have to make?? oh wait can you exblain the invisible atmosphere? like why would you want it to be that way?? (sorry im like SUPER bad at science i(4) barely know anything about it but i do find it interesting dkdndksm) oh but yes, being able to see planets with our own EYES would be so so cool!!!! like we’re so used to seeing them in pics and all but like?? ACTUALLY seeing them??? like we can see the moon and stars in the sky, but can you imagine just casually seeing like. jupiter in the sky?? and also aren’t some of the planets super big?? so like being able to see them like that would be so!! amazing!! dhskdj omg no none of this is(5) weird at all!!! it’s really nice to see you really passionate and curious about these kinds of things!! esp because these are subjects concerning the system we live in like that’s really great that you want to learn more about it! and it really is amazing, all of this information and what we can learn about it!! ✨ AAAHHH FURUBA!!!! omg im so glad to hear that i LOVE hearing people talk about furuba and how much they love it omg it makes me so happy 🌹✨🌟💕💞💐💝🌸🌼💖💜🔥🔥🔥 omg yes

jklfdjsdkj HIHIIIIIIIIIII honeyyy ily how are u??!! u started summer break omggg that’s great!!! IM GLAD I GET TO TALK TO U MOTRT JA B ifdhgd im anoying omg no not always!! only for this year and the last year of high school!! school usually starts in june and ends in april with a vacation in either november or october (diwali vacation) and then christmas vacation durign yk christmas sdjhfbdhj but this year my school started in june, had my two tiny vacations and then ended in jan with the whole of feb free then exams in march for the entire month and then summer vacation!! junior college (last 2 years of high school and prep for uni) 11th grade starts in july and ends in april 12th grade starts in june and ends at the same time as 10th!! dsjfhsjdf OH YEAH THAT WAS ONE FUN TRIP XXNGJFG i went on the 1st with my parents only to sikkim!! it was so pretty and nice and we didn’t roam much just rested and relaxed in the cool place also!! my first snowfall!!!!!!! lovedddd it fjnwjfnf i got a cold afterwards gjrtnejt the 2nd time was with my entire family cousins and all to mahabaleshwar and damn wasn’t it fun it was too hot in the afternoon for my liking but we went to the pool then so it was okie! then we went to a garden and irritated the adults there because that’s what we’re best at jggfsduhs (not realy we just drank a lot of free drinks and stuff) I like to make gfx/gifs of anything basically!!! i used to make kpop edits when i was into it and now i make anime edits!!! i lie to draw human/anime characters sfshfjn seems to me like i can only draw them sad emojii but to be not humble i think i’m good at shading osfjsdfjsdk IF U SAY ANYTHIGN LIKE THAT IM GOING TO BLUSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH NFOITHJMIOSM have mercy anon i’ll have a stroke next /(/-/3/-/)/ omg yeah like. their physical form is best left to imagination but isnt it like. we’re in the goldilocks zone? i think thats what its called but it means that this is the only area where it’s suitable for humans to survive but like. there must be other goldilocks zones right… it’s not like there’s only one galaxy there’s many but only too many light years away for us to explore sad and crying emoji omg i mean like. i want to touch clouds gndgndfkgndfkg YES THAT’S THE ONLY REASON I DONT’ WANT GRAVITY im so embrased nmgjtgytyu YEAHHH that’s exactly what i meant like woah dude today neptune is in pisces let’s just all go to sleep or shit fuck mercury hasn’t moved it’s time for us to hibernate *hibernates* yk? hgdnjdf it’s okie everyone is bad at science!! OMG yes jupiter is like hugeeeee it just used to roam around in space collecting dust and air from the big bang so like!!! it’s like. HUGEEEE but it looks tiny in pics compared to sun (obviously) because the sun is huger fjgdfg FFFFUUUUUUUURRRRRRRUUUUUUUUBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAA i litterally cannotttt stress enougj on how mych i love hatori like. how dare a character be that. THAT good can i like giv e him a hug or something pls. pLS s it’s soooo good like yes. i’ve said this before i will say it again i love. how there is so much importance of yk women as a whole and so far no one has any romantic thoughts about the other (imo) and can u belive ??? wowww actual teenagers are being potrayed here i akin to tohru have never thought of romance with any of my male freinds and i really teaches u things society has stored away in the depths of mariana trench like “it’s ok to be selfish sometimes” WHO SAIDDDD THAT??!!!?!?!? IRL?!?!?!? WH OOO O O no one that’s who because being selfless is so overrated pls bye i will not go off rn when it’s been oonly 10 episodes but wait. wait till episode 20 i will stand atop tardeo twin towers and profess my neverending unconditional love for sohma kyo through a microphone i take my leave thank you all

#asks #shy anon #long post #fdvdhasfbvhj this is soooo long i truly did go off ilyylylyyy cant wait to talk to u more sorry for being late!!!!#i got my results omggg im apparently in top 30 of my school :( i didn't top but that's okie!!!!!!! i'm gppd enough as it is!!! \#when ure positive u'll never take any ls and i think that's the beauty of life ily #no hear t emojsi because pc but #f.<3 x infinity x 4285789457284 ily!!!!

0 notes

flying-shiny-pug · 7 years

Text

I’ve been looking through old photos of things I’ve done these last 4 years of high school and how much I’ve changed and grown. Freshman year I remember how I started to get comfortable with myself and sexuality then I saw how a friend of mine was treated when she came out and threw any idea of coming out as bi to anyone forever. Sophomore year was probably the roughest, things were changing my friends seemed distant and uncaring and at the hight of that I moved an hour away from them. We lost our house and we were all mentally abused. I took the brunt of that with nightmares of my family being killed in front of me and starving myself so I could feel something again. I was so numb that year I remember people trying to talk to me at the new school but I was so out of it I isolated myself. The last 2 months though brought me new friends that love and care for me so much, even if we don’t talk that much I am forever great full of them for bringing me back from the brink of suicide. Junior year went 50x better I was on top of all my classes I gained new friends that love the real me and I reconnected with old friends from back home that I lost communication with because I had too. The year went so great I started dating again and I had an amazing boyfriend for awhile. Senior year came along with new challenges. A bigger workload with college classes and a full time job took so much out of me I was going back into my shell and I could feel it. I took my relationship for granted and lost it but it was a learning experience, it showed me that im not ready for something serious just yet. As the year went on I got to actually hang out with my old friends. we grew much closer even though we are so far apart. College applications and scholarships took up most of my free time this new year. I applied to 8 universities and I got accepted to 7 of them I was so happy seeing how hard work pays off. I wasn’t winning all this year though I didn’t get a majority of the scholarships that I applied to and we had to move houses again(stayed in the same area but a bad experience). I did get a big scholarship that practically covers my tuition and guarantees me a job as a teacher for 4 years. As the year went on I couldn’t wait to be done with school, I quit trying since most of my classes were done and I only had 2 periods to really worry about. Dating again was a different experience since everyone was getting more mature and I still tried to joke around. Sometimes it worked sometimes it didn’t. Now we’re at the finale I got my cap and gown finished my last 2 exams and was on the way to walking across that mf stage. 2 days before that I got to see my 2 best friends get their diplomas and I went to 3 different parties that night I think I ate a weed brownie on accident but hey that’s life. The morning of graduation I got a message from one of my friends that made me cry. It was the best thing I’ve ever woken up too. I got ready. Put on my gown. Took my seat and talked with friends for probably the last time. Our names were called one by one each of us taking our diplomas. We got closer and closer to my name and it didn’t it hit till I was next. I was about to go into the next chapter of my life and new stage in the actual real world with adult problems. I wasn’t going to be sheltered anymore I am practically free to do the things that I want that school was stopping me from doing. I was in a daze until my best friend came up and hugged me I think she was crying I don’t remember. She drove and hour and a half just to come and see me get a piece of paper I love her so much she’s my soulmate. I took pictures with her and everyone that helped me throughout my journey. The gifts that family members gave me only made me happier. This was an awesome path that I was given and I still don’t know if given the chance would have I taken this willingly. The experiences and the opportunities that I’ve gotten were they worth the pain that I went through were they worth the crying and self harm. I don’t think I’ll ever know but in an odd way I’m glad they happened.

#long post #self harm #flying feelings

9 notes · View notes

oh-mother-of-darkness · 7 years

Text

asks (30)

@novelty--night said:

Can you recommend any angsty dick Grayson fanfic?

I don’t really read other people’s fanfiction, so I’m afraid the only ones I can give you are mine :/

Those are here: 1 2 3 4 5

You might ask Dawn for some others? I think she would know

Anonymous said:

Hi! I absolutely love your work. Can you please say anything about Steph? Maybe interactions with the Dead Robin Society? Please? Thank you! Your blog is AMAZING!!!!

The Steph content is here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (hc)

1 2 3 (fic)

I’ll go ahead and save the ask for the next time I have Steph ideas :)

Anonymous said:

I would very much like to join your ace crime-fighting squad, but I am rather tall and not good at concealing myself should hiding be necessary. What should I do?

Hm well we do have several non combat positions available in the organizational sector if that sort of thing interests you, but our standard training program includes a week of camouflage and concealment instruction, so I’m sure we can find some way to accommodate you.

I would also note that if you meet the (single) requirement for membership, you’re already largely invisible soooo

kpopfreaksgeneral submitted:

Something good that has happened to me

So, short story before all this: i’m 20 years old with autism, and I’ve dropped out of highschool (or i think the danish equvilant to that) when i was about 16-17, because I struggled with keeping up with homework. I was thrown around in the system for years, not getting meds, not knowing what to do.

Last year, I was told about an educations program which is targetted at young people with autism. Basically, it’s made to be suited around how fast you learn, how many hours you can work a day and how you will function most optimally when working. It’s within a certain supermarket chain’s stores that I’ll be taught working in.

So far, it’s going great, I get to work, get taught in it, do something and I’ll have a secured work place afterwards, all over Denmark as long as it’s in one of the chain’s stores.

Also, I’m back on meds, not the some one’s as before, but I got my med’s back.

That’s really great!! I’m glad things are falling into place for you!

Anonymous said:

something good, besides the obvious of seeing u on my dash: it was really nice and sunny today for the first time in a really long time and it was so warm i laid out in the sun with my roommates dog for a bit just to hang

Ooooh that sounds really relaxing

Anonymous said:

I got full mark and a bonus for a subject I didn't study well for.. I'm grateful and I think I should study next time so I deserve it XD

Whoop for grades coming out better than expected :)

@shieldshawk said:

I got kissed by a dog named Sirius Black. Because the people who come to my store are awesome nerds.

!!! Congrats on living the dream

Anonymous said:

I was on a date that had gone sour this weekend, and I was ready to go back home and call it a loss. When! My friend called me and told me she got into a study abroad program and wanted me to come over and get drunk with her! We had a great time!!!

That sounds like fun! Sorry bout your date ://

@nightwing1536 said: I watched Gordon Ramsay make donuts on YouTube today so that was pretty good

nightwing1536 said: It's awesome whenever I get new glasses cause then oh shit things are clear again!!

nightwing1536 said: Finding Teen Titans and getting into DC Comics was a great thing for me

nightwing1536 said: Once I made myself hot chocolate when I was alone and it was really nice

nightwing1536 said: A lady I don't know very well asked how I was doing once because I was sleeping in my old teachers class room that she sometimes popped into and she was worried so that was a great reminder

nightwing1536 said: I got a pair of really nice dentist people when I had to get root canals! Only two. But they were so nice as my usual dentist guys are mean.

nightwing1536 said: I'm friends with the dentist root canal people now

nightwing1536 said: Eating corn is always a good thing that happens for me

nightwing1536 said: My teachers influenced made me know I'm more than what everyone else thought of me to be. Made me like art as one once said "...your art is really unique, don't ever give up on that." It was a girl with a mole smoking a cigarette. Terrible picture that I let him have but it means a lot to me

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher, the teach I hang with that's now my old teacher, tapped on my desk when I had him first time(known him before ish from club) and he said "If you wouldn't mind drawing me something so I could put it up on my wall? Your style is very unique and I like it." Not sure what my style was besides melting creatures and whatnot but it was nice, gave it to him at the end of the year and he says its nightmare fuel <3

nightwing1536 said: Another teacher told me I was good enough to be in her AP ceramics class, simply because of my dedication to it. I had never taken ceramics before and only ever made a few things in her club. She and I aren't very close this year but I wish we could have been. I'll write her a letter, it's what I did for all my teachers before.

nightwing1536 said: In 8th grade my science teacher said I had potential, I didn't care much at the time but he was a huge inspiration for me to live and continue. He was the first teacher I ever drew anything for, a pic of himself, I remember his head was too pointed in the picture.

nightwing1536 said: Finding you was a good thing too

That’s a lot of good stuff! Thank you <3

@silly-fuzzy-babies replied

Bill Potts on Doctor Who saved my entire life

Oh man I need to catch up then!

@cannibalfood replied

Im almost done college, just have exams left then i graduate, my gpa so far is 3.7, not great, but I'm studying hard for exams

Listen I think most people would agree that 3.7 is a reaaaaally good GPA. Congratulations!

@therealstephaniebrown replied

Well! I'm going in on May 4th to get a new tattoo! A really beautiful thigh piece. I also got in to see a doctor and am starting to take better care of my mental illnesses. Three medications so far to help balance things. Oh, and my boyfriend is flying out to Cali with me to meet my family so he can finally propose to me cx I hope you're okay <3

WHOA CONGRATS!! I’m doing okay now. I wasn’t so much last night, but I’ll be fine

@freres-toujours replied

I got the new Mass Effect game when it came out and I've been slowly working my way through it. I finished off a planet today, and this one was particularly satisfying.

I’m glad you’re having fun :)

@another-nameless-person said

I’m gender neutral and was really scared when I found out I was pregnant(months ago) that my family would treat my gender identity badly but…. They’re surprisingly concerned if they are being rude in any way? My mom even offered to buy me a binder for after I have my baby? Also, they’re all excited for my baby to grow up having someone as open about gender, sexuality and equality raise them? Which is a HUUUGE step for my family. So that’s really something that is really good until next month and I finally get to see my daughter :D

HOLY SHIT YOU’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! CONGRATS!

@entrthematrix replied

I have been really sick these past two weeks and have not able to stomach any food so I've been on a liquid only diet. But, I had my first bit of real food for the first time yesterday and wasn't sick after, it is a real sign that I am getting better now.

Oh man I’m glad you’re getting better! That sounds terrible

@thelittlechibi replied

We recently released one of our birds into the wild, but he keeps hanging around the house, and last night he landed on my lap out of the blue. Ruined it by having a go at my face and leaving a scratch over my eye, but it's nice to know he's still safe and chill with us.

Whoaaaa that’s super interesting

@pallet-45 replied

I met you!! Ahaha wow that was lame

Aw thanks Danny <3

@minami-the-door-lord:

I saw a stray cat. It let me pet it.

Yoooo that sounds great I would love to pet a cat today

@richardgrays0n replied

One of my best friends just had a baby! And I got to meet him and hold him. He's adorable and so tiny. So very tiny. I love him already and I'm super proud to be his honorary aunt.

!!!!!!! Y’all I love babies so much

Thanks, guys! Y’all are really kind and helpful, and I super appreciate it <3

#asks #plus some replies #and a few comments?#thank y'all <3 #i was having a really shitty night but I'm okay now

36 notes · View notes