#and if there are i don’t wanna hear ‘em
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low quality pics, high quality ass
#my caption is corny#but the statement still stands#also one again more red#but i look good in it so there shouldn’t be any complaints#and if there are i don’t wanna hear ‘em#me#my body#nsft#personal#message me#talk to me#dm me#girls of tumblr#girls of onlyfans#goth girl#goths of tumblr
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22/10 Dead Word Count: 1257
(Panic attack, discussions of child abuse, discussions of trauma) @jegulus-microfic
It’s dead silent when James gets home. But not in a comforting way. It’s the type of cold, ghostly atmosphere that instantly hits him like a brick wall as he walks through the front door. Only the soft hum of rushing water serving as white noise.
Worry immediately sets deep into his bones.
He carefully toes off his shoes, loosening his tie and dropping his bag as well. He walks into the kitchen, checking the time before plugging his phone into the outlet. It isn’t until he flinging his keys onto the counter that he’s able to put his finger on what exactly is wrong.
Placed there unassumingly on the counter next to all of the miscellaneous papers and near-empty mugs of once hot beverages is a small green envelope. On it his address has been written in neat scrawling cursive. The envelope has been torn open, the letter that was once in it now nowhere to be found.
The recognition is almost instantaneous, fear sinking deep into hit gut. The crest of the house of black stamped on the front of the envelope, ‘Toujours Pur’ printed in bold, though there is nothing pure about it. He’s seen his fair share of small green envelopes, never once have they meant anything other than certain misery.
As if by muscle memory he springs into action, scouring the house for any signs of Regulus. The lights throughout the flat remain off, only the streetlights shining through the dark night left to illuminate the rooms.
Despite the odds he finds Regulus relatively quickly. In times like this he’s almost always in one of two places. Either nestled deep into the corner of their closet or tucked into himself in the bathtub. Today the sound of the shower running gives away Regulus location.
Sure enough there he sits, cold water spraying out from the shower head soaking him to the bone. Breath heavy and shaky. His arms are wrapped around his knees which are pressed up to his chest tightly. He has one of James’ hoodies on engulfing is figure entirely, hood up covering his face as he rocks back and forth slightly.
James isn’t sure if Regulus is aware of his presence, none the less he runs over to crouch next to the side of the bathtub making himself eye level with the other man.
Regulus is clutching a waterlogged piece of paper so tightly in his fist that it crumples and tears and his knuckles have gone white with the sheer force of his grip. James doesn’t need to read a single sentence in that letter to understand its message. The black family crest visible on the corner of the paper solidifying his suspicions.
“Regulus,” James says, firm enough to snap him out of his trance but not harsh enough to send him spiraling any more than he already is.
Regulus stills in response, relaxing slightly to the sound of James’ voice.
“Can I sit with you?” James asks.
As expected Regulus didn’t give a verbal response. He only nods, lifting his head up to make eye contact with James. The tear streaks coating his rosy cheeks break James’ heart.
James decides against sitting in the bathtub with Regulus. There isn’t a whole lot of room to begin with and such close contact is often to overwhelming for Regulus. Instead he sits down cross legged on the bathroom floor next to the tub. Reaching an arm out to run his fingers up and down the notches of the other mans spine.
After a couple of minutes his’ breathing has slowed and the rocking has stoped entirely. James is now also wet from the constant flow of water from the shower. Squeezing Regulus’ shoulder lightly to remind him that he’s still there he reaches forward to turn off the water.
“Do you want to talk about it?” James asks.
The other man sniffles, rubbing the sleeve of the hoodie over his eyes. He nods then opens his mouth to speak. Regulus is quite, whispering when he starts,
“It’s all my fault,” he begins.
James gently tilts Regulus face to look at him, cutting him off, “No, if your talking about what I think you are it is not your fault, nor is it Sirius’, or anybody else’s but theirs for that matter.”
Looking back to the floor of the bathtub Regulus lets out another shaky breath, “If I had just stayed around, another 3 years maybe, it would have been better in the long run.” He’s is sobbing now, stuttering on his words.
“We both know thats not true.”
“My collage would have been payed for! My collage and my car and my housing an-“
“No Regulus, nothing is worth putting yourself through more trauma then you already had to endure,”
“But after Sirius left they never laid a finger on me. Not once. A-And all the good memories James. The summers spent on holiday, the games of chess we would play whe- where we would act like a real family. All the places they would take me just because I mentioned wanting to go. James, they weren’t bad people.” He cried.
“A good person wouldn’t abuse and manipulate their own children,” James reminded him. Though there wasn’t a single sharp edge to his voice, it was nothing but soft and reassuring. “The god memories don’t outweigh the bad Regulus.”
He was now leaning most of his body weight onto James’ shoulder as he spoke.
“But I still love them, and they love me, that I’m sure of.” He mumbled, almost inaudible.
“I’m not denying that, I’m not denying that they did good things, I’m not denying any of that. None of those memories are invalid. I’m simply saying that part of you died in that house, and I’m not prepared to lose more of you to them if you go back. I don’t want you dead even if it’s not physically.”
Regulus only turned toward James, nestling his face into the crook of his neck.
“No matter your decision I’m not gonna leave you to go through it on your own, I’ll be right by your side through it all if you want me there. But I do want the decisions you make to be rational, and I don’t think the decision right now you make would be any where near that.”
“I know,” Regulus says in agreement, nestling himself deeper into James’ neck.
“You ready to go to bed, it’s getting late.” James asks.
Regulus leans back away from James, nodding in agreement and allowing the other man to scoop him up out of the bathtub and place him on the counter behind them.
James towels the other man dry, kissing his face as he dose so.
“I’m gonna go get you something dry to change into, okay?” James says, continuing to keep his voice soft and reassuring.
“Okay,” Regulus replies in acknowledgment. Eyes still bloodshot from crying. The sight of him makes the feeling of tears prick at the corner of James’ eyes, threatening to fall.
James hugs him again, going into their bedroom to get another of his hoodies for Regulus to change into.
———
Not much later James watches as Regulus finally drifts into sleep, cuddled close up into James’ side.
As much as the thought of what both brothers went through in that house pains him, it almost pains him even more that there isn’t much else he can do about it other than help them through it in the best ways he knows how.
#it’s been a hot minute#but I’m finally back#with the reason you all follow this blog lol#sorry#I know this is a dark microfic#also I’m entirely aware that this isn’t how Walburga and Orion are typically portrayed and I don’t wanna hear shit about it#Em’s microfics#marauders#jegulus#james x regulus
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can we get a little commotion for my comfort man, soobin!? ✿ (>'-'<)📣
#txt#kpop#txt moodboard#soobin#soobin moodboard#choi soobin#also em when you see this i don’t wanna hear about his hands being included in this jsjfjd
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btw please don’t interact with me if you’re a proshipper or racist
#idk I never planned on making a DNI list but I’ve seen like 2 proshippers and I wasn’t even looking for em#don’t debate me on this either I don’t wanna hear it
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Going to start talking about my OC’s on here more. I need my problematic transmen to be honored as they deserve to be.
#🔪 txt#if you don’t wanna see or hear about em#just blacklist ‘nero oc’#but if you wanna hear about em#I will probably be discussing my vampire outlaw and my cunty high elf knight a lot
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Alright guys, I’m finally watching the new episode of FBI. Sit tight for my thoughts. 👀
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Weeks later and I still cannot believe Ishiwatari is giving us team battle mode before he gives us alternate costumes for the characters
#my programming knowhow is rusty but I got a sneaking suspicion it would a LOT easier/faster to make than 3v3 mode#and I’m not ungrateful for team mode(cause that’s awesome too) but I’d really like some alts#and I don’t wanna hear no rhetoric about 2D fighters not having alt outfits cause Street Fighter has been on that wave since 08#only 2D fighters that can keep that tradition is sprite fighters cause yeah#then again… SF aint been PERFECT with the alts either. bevy of grievances there#but idk I still think it’d be neat if GG had em.#would be fun to play as Sol with his Overture fit or Chipp with his outfit from that novel I think#guilty gear#guilty gear strive
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Alright y’all-
When it comes to the 1K fic, do y’all have any ideas? I wanna hear you guys out before I start writing more-
I had started writing but I might just save it as a special fic and just hear y’all’s ideas out first.
#I wanna hear y’all suggestions#throw em at me#and please don’t be shy to share#I wanna hear you out#❤️🤍#puddingtalking
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y’all am I ready for the dumb-sses that’ll appear in my comments once I show my designs and headcanons for my sp characters
#I’m gonna prob make a blog post about the whole blackwashing bs and the need to be straight fandoms have as a whole but is#extremely obvious in some#cause why not#while we’re on this subject#do y’all wanna hear about my sp designs and headcanons#specifically when they’re adults#cause that’s when things get really crazy#(and what I’m most passionate about#note that the designs are in gacha form for now until I draw em so expect that if you wanna see me#and even if y’all don’t say anything I’ll probs still post em cause I really dont mind either way#it’d just be nice to see y’all interested#my stuffy stuff#South Park#headcanons#🌻my designs🌻#my headcanons🩵
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Do you think Lovely would have friends who’d let them lick their face like Beastly does sometimes with his. I think it could be enrichment
#I also think lovely should get to leave the lab on good behavior. and then spend all that time at a library. chaaos is giving book#recommendations and providing chew stims for when things get tense and he can Hear their teeth grinding. goes hey friend I don’t imagine#that’s great for ya so I got a couple things if you wanna give em a shot. ends up having to buy new ones that are considerably tougher a few#times but still
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hi y’all apologies for the inactivity yesterday, i was binging all the mlp: eg movies/half-hour specials/45-min specials
#em rambles#equestria girls#mlp#i may be cringe but consider this#i don’t give a shit#i’m a legitimate teenager and that’s how i spent my weekend#binging movies about colorful ponies-turned-people#does anyone wanna hear my thoughts#please#i think i’ve given my bsf mlp burnout and she’s never even watched these movies#expect more mlp content/an mlp blog retheming bc this is gonna give me brainrot
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Realizing the healthiest thing for me would be to just Go Off and talk out loud for long periods about feelings and hyperfixations and such instead of constantly repressing myself, but like it feels equally messed up for my dad to just hear me in another room having a long conversation out loud with myself or to ask someone “I want to talk at you for an hour. You can’t say anything back and you have to convincingly pretend you’re interested the whole time”
#cus like in conversations I’m literally terrified of being disliked (for talking too much or boring em or saying somwthing stupid)#so I just let the other person lead and sit quietly. especially cus I’m used to being talked over or hearing bored ‘uh-huh’s when I do talk#so like even having more conversations with different people isn’t quite what I need. I need to monologue but don’t wanna impose it on anyo#crackpotproblems#TMI maybe?
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starting my morning off by crying to my chemical romance and the wonder years,,, i feel like i’m drowning in my grief this shit sucks
#shit happens#:(#I miss my dead friends#i literally can’t stop thinking abt how much i wanna talk to em and hear their voice one more time#im so sad that i deleted every memory of us that ever existed so yeah#ik that doesn’t invalidate our bond we once had but i feel guilty for not being able to help#but u can’t force anyone to change#just sucks that they both overdosed in the same way like wtf not cool besties#literally not even a year apart from eachother#it’s been almost a year and then it’ll be a whole 2 years since he died#i can’t believe its been so long it feels like just yesterday i was with them but it’s literally been two years since he died so i#it’s been like three years since we last spoke and now I’ll never get the chance to change things#not that I would have reached out but like it’s good knowing they’re still alive and now I don’t hav that comfort anymore#I’ll never hear them see them touch them or even feel their energy that they put out into this earth#it fucking hurts my feelings that i couldn’t be there even tho i loved them all#i just couldn’t stick around to see them destroy themselves#i feel bad but what can u do except for move forward
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN- sorry, what do you meeean Simon literally cannot utter the words I love you?
I mean, yeah he can. But it felt empty.
So he normally did it through actions, helping you carry things, morning coffee, buying a dvd version of that movie you liked to have backup ‘just in case’
He shows it through touches, kisses on the nape of the neck on sleepy mornings, trapping you like a oversized dog in your own bed (didn’t hear that from me)
“You’re late.”
“Im so sorry sir, my dog-“
“I thought you were allergic?”
He likes this. He thought it was right. He never thought that you needed to hear the words.
“Do you love me?”
Screaming silence all expect for the car radio that hummed through the air, your eyes glassy and mascara threatening to run.
“Simon, please-“
“I…give me a minute.”
He tried to pretend he didn’t hear you muffle back a cry- it was stupid, you had both gone to Kyle’s engagement party and the couple had been showering each other with compliments and ‘I love yous ‘ as if they weren’t the most sacred saying. It got to you.
“I…started using that scar ointment ya got me, to-to help ‘em fade, still stinks though. I, um, I wash my clothes with the lavender scent things you like because I like the way you smell- it-it makes me feel like I’m home- I…fuck- okay, I wake up a lil later when you’re over because you like cuddling and I would rather be with you than outside in the rain- I try to make sure your favorite creamer is always full in the fridge so ya don’t wanna leave me in the mornin to get coffee an there-there is no one I would rather be with and I’m sorry I can-Im sorry that im the way that I am and I’m sorry in not good enough-“
“Simon.” You cut him off, the red light he had stopped at green by now but it was so late in the night no one was there, tears streaked your face and his eyes were wide as a deers, “I love you too.”
(Anyway….thats all! <33)
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley imagine#simon riley fanfic#simon riley x reader#cod fluff#cod x you#coco's chaos <3#xfem!reader#x female reader#fluff cod#cod imagine#ghost imagine#simon ghost fluff
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If I can adjust to the sparse sleep schedule I can seriously see me making this my forever job
#this company is good#I still wanna do woods and nature stuff but as I build up the money I’ll have the freedom to pursue more things#even if it’s just a hobby#the big challenge will probably be with changing shifts and crews and boats n all that#im getting comfy with these guys theyre great#but i hear the next crew has some bummer people#so i gotta git gud before I’m with them so I don’t have to ask them too much#hahaha who knew I’d grow up to be 90% surrounded by newfoundlanders#gonna start talkin like em
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I told you she be listening through the walls but you thought I was being paranoid 🙄. You finally pierced your nips?
-Baji
no, you freak! guess again!
#oh em gee#that reminded me though#we’re getting matching belly button piercings#i don’t wanna hear it#seraph.replies!#seraph.baji!
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