#and if I want to like. god I don't think I've ever posted a thirst trap. but if I post something like that. then people are annoyed. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeanthebeagle · 18 days

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Grishaverse/Ketterdam dashboard simulator

🪙 Barrelrat1877 follow

just spilled my drink on a Fierdan's boots and now he's threatening to duel me. Should I call the stadwatch??? I'm lowkey scared.

#guys please help me

10 notes

🐦 Dregsconfessionsofficial follow

SUBMISSION: Last night I was walking around the barrel and I saw dirtyhands petting a dog. Like I'm not even joking, no gloves and all. And it was one of those crusty white ones.

#submission #omg I hope he washes his hands??? # those dogs are so crusty

10,350 notes

🌊 tidesofthecanals follow

Final results from 672 votes

♠️ kvasandass follow

Razorgulls stop sending anon hate to op over a poll challenge, level impossible, no glue no borax.

#i hope they get caught for tax fraud

380 notes

🐝 thislittlelife follow

A drawing my talented daughter made of Sankta Alina. We pray to her each night 🙏🙏🙏

🐾 magic-tricks follow

46.244.29.14

🍄 thekingofravkaishot follow

hello??? Omg. Why would you dox someone just like that??? This is literally putting them in danger. It's just a sweet mother with her child, who posted a drawing. What is wrong with you.

🏵️ krugebythedozen follow

Op admitted to lying like a year ago about how they don't actually have a kid, but took the post down. It's probably a dime lion trying to troll us like they did in mass when sankta alina died. Also, respectfully, shut up. You posts thirst traps and long drawn out texts on how the king of ravka is "babygirl”. Go get help.

47 notes

🤝 theholyhandofghezenofficial follow

To the citizen who spread a highly damaging rumor that we were hosting a petting zoo inside the church, please come to talk to us. You are not in danger, but words will be exchanged. Lots of trouble was caused due to careless behavior.

⚖️ ketterdamfails follow

Womp womp

9,789 notes

🎀 justapigeon follow

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to update my Pekka Rollins x Jan van eck fanfic. I've been searching for my mom for almost a week since she ran away after hearing that you had to get a vaccine for Firepox after the last outbreak. (She believes in praying to the saints.)

248 notes

🍪 eatthemerchs follow

I hate all of you. Why is this website making Kaz Brekker a soft boy when he literally MURDERS PEOPLE. No, he won't cry if you hug him. No he doesn't want to pet your dog. He'll take your eye out.

Stop romanticizing crime, all of you are sick.

(I am TIRED of the dog memes. Brekker is a crime boss. Why would any of you think he'd even care about your dog.)

🐾 magic-tricks follow

Your border collie is nice. But your chihuahua barks too much.

15,370 notes

🦂 northerstaverner follow

literally just saw some tall ass guy with a huge gun, a revolver and the brightest outfit l've ever seen, trot past my window??? In broad daylight??? Like oh my god. It felt like looking at a stork who made a wish he was human. His clothes were purple and green. Who wears that. Like, iconic. But still.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome

🦂 northerstaverner follow

He was built like a stork.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome???

🦂 northerstaverner follow

I'm not answering that... who is this.

🧁sugarandredribbons follow

Op answer

☁️ theweststavesucksass follow

Op we all want to know

🫵 isthisbarrelbossproblematic follow

OP THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER

🫀dmitrithekerchman follow

OPPPPP

4,750 notes

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papa-evershed · 10 months

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I’m curious… what do you think are the sexiest gifs of Rob EVER? 😏 I’d love to see ‘em.

I apologize for my late answer but like a weirdo, I was just convinced that my choices would somehow be disappointing. 😅🙈 I just feel like most people are going to expect gifs of kissing scenes or skin but those aren't even the ones that make me the most feral. But I'll give it a shot. 😂

As always, under a read more for length but also for cringe worthy fangirling and NSFW thirst-talk.

Immediately, my first thought was this gif. When I say I adore this man's belly I fucking mean it. He's just so deliciously man-shaped. Tall and thick and soft in all the right places. I love a belly, lets me know that a person isn't too militant and allows themselves to indulge in life's pleasures. 😏😏 (I'm reading way too much into a belly but here we are.) Add in the fact that in this specific scene, Martin Evershed is being the ultimate soft, caring Dad™. He has every reason in the world to lose his shit on Sam but instead he actively chooses to be what she needs in that moment and it's just incredibly sexy because he is a whole ass Man™. I just wrote a fucking novel about this one gif but listen, there's a reason it's first that comes to mind.

The thumb in the mouth? 🙃

Speaking of Act On This, this one too. I'm not even sure if I can put my finger on exactly why this specific gif is one of my favorites. Perhaps because he's usually so smiley (which I adore) that a rare serious/stern look wrecks me. Another reason I want him cast as a villain. Just...yes, sir.

And on the flip side, these because he's just so soft again. I fucking love soft men, ones who don't seem to have that drive to constantly perform their own personal version of hyper-masculinity. (also, I'd suck a random dick off the street to get this in HQ)

I'm a simple creature and I like profiles, noses, and tits.

Like I said, I'm a simple creature and I am no better than any man.

When the right men manspread at the right time? Yes. Yes, that.

When Dad™ shows up to save the day? Get that man a beer and a blowjob.

And while I love it when a man is great with kids...I also think it's incredibly sexy when he's tired of their bullshit cause aren't we all sometimes? 😅

FUZZY GREY NECK? say no more. Also, I'd stand in a three hour long line to wait my turn to ride his thigh like he was the carousel at Disney World. I said what I said.

Hutch. Just Hutch. Everything about the character was sexy. And bless this t-shirt. The shoulders. The arms. The fuzzy neck. The nose. He could 100% talk me into sleeping in that creepy ass cabin and much like Phil, we'd also wake up naked and calling out to God.

Annnd because I feel like it's expected and it does deserve attention, this kiss with Papa E. Listen. Listen. So many fucking onscreen kisses go from 0 to 60 in .000005 seconds. Just immediate face-fucking right out the gate. And IDK about y'all but that shit just isn't enjoyable in real life. Don't assault my fucking face like a Dallas Cowboy's linebacker. 🙃 Ease into it. Warm up. Mr. Evershed will patiently take his time making you so anxiously desperate for more that when he finally does deepen that kiss your lips will be eagerly wet and ready...heh. 🙈

Anyway. 😳 I've been really good about not being thirsty on main anymore and this is still quite tame for me but I'm gonna stop now because this post could go on all night. 🫠

#y'all can't see me like this

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friend-crow · 2 years

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Here's the thing about witchblr...

People crave knowledge. Something beyond the aesthetic pinterest graphics with correspondences from god-knows-what tradition. If you are offering that and engaging in genuine discussions where you aren't just self-aggrandizing at the expense of bloggers whose audiences you'd like to claim as your own, people will follow you.

If you have something meaningful to say and you don't give off the vibe of someone who would love to have their own cult, people will follow you.

I don't think I've ever even posted anything particularly instructional. I just have conversations with people and post my suppositions on topics that I find interesting, and every day I ask myself, "why the fuck are so many people following me?" (not that I'm complaining -- just a bit mystified)

I don't know, maybe people are more likely to follow bloggers who are just... you know... people blogging, than they are to follow someone who is trying to establish themself as A Brand. But the thirst for information and good content is there, and if you make it, people will want to sign up for more. There is really no need to be a dick about it.

#commentary #don't worry I have some more hummingbird photos to follow this with #witchblr #fuckin discourse #further musings on the subject of clown shit

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likeastars · 2 years

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@incorrect-nevermore your "Duke plays the drums" hc spawned this. Be responsible for your actions.

"So, Duke, why did you start playing the drums?"

"Well, I was a really loud kid and I got into some trouble down the line so... my mom put the sticks in my hand and told me to use all of my energy on the instrument. It worked. It helps me keep my poise, you know? They revoke your french card if you aren't always cool and collected"

"Pluto! You're always very vocal online about your social anxiety and the fact that people should treat it more seriously, so many fans where wondering: how can you remain so calm during your concerts?"

"Do I really have to do this? Oh god. You're filming. Umhhhhhh... I think I just really focus on the music? When I play there's just me and the bass, I guess??? That was dumb. That was so dumb can you PLEASE just cut it-"

"Last but not least, Lenore! Why do you love music so much?"

"It was a way to stick to my parents at first. I didn't want to be like them, with their boring jobs and galas and, well, general classism. But then... it became a way to express myself, an outlet of sorts.

Also, and this is very embarrassing, music reminds me of a very special person in my life."

"Oh! This will break the heart of many listeners! And who is this special person?"

"She would feed my bones to the birds if I told you, I'm afraid."

•••••

"Hi Ada! you and the others were seen so many times with Annabel in official events that people have started to consider you a band! How do you feel about that?"

"Oh it's amazing!!! It's good that people recognise what I, as a manager, bring to the table. AND THE OTHERS TOO OF COURSE. If I'm being completely honest I don't whink that Annabel would be so succesful without us. But here we are!!"

"Prospero, why did you decide to be the financial manager of the group?"

"Because if I hadn't stepped up, Ada would have. And she wouldn't know math even if she read about it in an Instagram post.

I'm not being sexist Annabel! I know you could do this job with your eyes closed! She's just dumber than a sack of bri- ahem. Please do me a favour and cut the last part. Thank you."

"So, Morella! As the latest addiction to Annabel's entourage, tell us: what do you think about her?"

"Well, it's really great working with her, obviously. I love how much she cares about the people that work backstage! It's an honor to have been selected to style her. Whe she told me she doesn't trust anyone else to do it I almost cried!! It's kinda scary to have to coordinate such a big team now, before I worked with a more underground band and there wasn't all of this pressure, but she always has the right word and immediately makes me feel better! She's such a great friend!!!"

"And now, Annabel. We wanted to ask: what does music mean to you?"

"Oh my, what a question. To me music will always be a way to express myself. In the beginning it was just another thing that my parents forced on me, but it became so much more. I've never felt more free, more myself, than when I'm on stage.

And music also means... love, to me. I used to play with a special person, so music in my heart will always be linked to her."

"You are killing us with curiosity now Annabel! Who is the lucky lady who stole your heart?"

"And where would be the fun in revealing that, love?"

••••••••••

The recently crowned walking, talking, breathing lesbian thirst trap Lenore, leader of the indie rock band "the spectreless", with her button ups and low, scratchy voice and the internationally acclaimed queen of pop Annabel Lee, aka "the white lady", with her queen-like attitude and her flawless high notes; what could they ever have in common?

More than anyone could ever imagine, apparently.

An old video of the two of them singing together resurfaces, and they seem to bee quite... intimate?

The internet goes wild.

Theories, fanfiction, fanart and AMVs start popping up, while the tag #whiteraven is trending on twitter.

Ada absolutely hates this situation, and hates even more the thought of having to work with Lenore's barbarians again, hadn't she suffered enough in college??? Unfortunately, she knows good publicity when she sees it, so she takes the hard decision.

They announce a collab.

Now, faced with the hardous task of having to share a myc, will Annabel and Lenore drop their rivalry and work together or stop trying to resist the urge of kissing the other, revealing their relationship to the world?

#nevermore #nevermore webtoon #nev #lenore nevermore #annabel lee nevermore #duke nevermore #pluto nevermore #ada nevermore #prospero nevermore #morella nevermore #band au #my writing

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tanoraqui · 1 year

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Hello! If you are still babysitting the printer or in the mood to answer questions about your OCs, then would you please tell me more about coolest person ever Rawen? Uh, let me think of some questions, answer any of these or just if you have something else you want to share about her. . . Can she cook? Favorite color? Tell me about a time she saved Maedhros’ life? What does she think of Elrond when she meets him in Aman?

I am not, thank god. But I still love to talk.

I don't know if Rawen can cook... She likes to fish, and can do some simple but fantastic things with fresh-caught fish and a handful of herbs over a campfire.

Her favorite color is maroon. This is convenient in the Second and Third Age, post-re-embodiment, when she wants to wear just enough red to visually communicate "I'm not a Fëanorian(TM) anymore, but I'm not not either."

She was the one who finally pulled Maedhros back from the battlefield in Dagor Bragollach, when he'd been holding the gates all but single-handedly for seven days and seven nights, and when the Enemy fell back, stalking around looking for more. He wasn't badly wounded; she already was, in fact; she had to pick her way through corpses and cinders while limping on a cut hamstring and coughing from dragonsmoke. But nobody else quite dared confront their lord in those terrible weeks, however much they feared he would collapse from exhaustion and/or burn himself to ashes from the inside out like his father.

(She never fully healed from those wounds, perhaps because she didn't rest them. She died in the Nirnaeth 18 years later.)

I've mostly thought about Rawen after her re-embodiment, when she basically appoints herself whip of the regrowing Fëanorian faction (mostly re-embodied elves like her who aren't as single-minded about this as they used to be but this is still where some combination of loyalties and ideals lie, younger elves with a thirst for rebellion). Rawen ideally wants a Person to follow, but lacking a sufficient Person she'll take up a Cause; her Cause now is Peace and Cooperation in Tirion (and Everywhere Else if Possible). Arafinwë is good for this - it's his cause, too - so, while even after the War of Wrath he's kinda placid as a king for her taste, she's happy to work with him and nominally serve him.

4,500~ years later, Rawen is comfortably accustomed to being a key political player in her own right, rather than as Maedhros's right hand. She and Fingolfin both, separately, go out for drinks with Arafinwë periodically and complain about the other. (Arafinwë thinks this is funny, and regards it as one of his key kingship duties for maintaining peace and cooperation among the Noldor. He's right.) The Fëanorian faction, as they're still called, has grown and changed far beyond what it used to be, but at its heart are still an assortment of former kinslayers, most of whom served at Himring. 500 years of constant exposure to focussed white flame can make a permanent impression on a fëa.

Like many, in the late Third Age when it's commonly rumored in Aman that most people still likely to Sail will be doing so as soon as this last Sauron issue is wrapped up, Rawen's attitude toward Elrond is eager curiosity with a readied but pending-judgement communist!Bugs Bunny "our child/lord" meme. Imagine you wake up after 1500-odd years being dead and the handful of friends/former employees who survived everything, or at least survived longer than you are like, "Yeah, so, we did...kill people...a bunch more people...we helped adopt some kids, though! They turned out great!" And then everyone else who Sails or re-embodies for the next 4500-odd years confirms that. If Elrond lives up to his reputation, Rawen is totally ready to add him to her short list of people for whom she'd throw her/the Fëanorian faction's political weight behind should they ever ask, for the sake of what could have been if only they'd been Good at the same time they were Great.

(The short list is, in rough order: Nerdanel, Celebrimbor, Celechwes, Fingon.)

Then, just a few years before Sauron's fall, Findis makes her own famous Oath (CFtN Ch.15), holding her own fëa for ransom of the release of Fëanor and all his sons from Mandos; and Manwë declares that the Eldar will decide her and their fate the Eldar overall decide, yes, we'll let them come back; and then when Elrond arrives, he brings Maglor...

Rawen is dealing with political fallout, and trying to anticipate the next political fallout, and trying to arrange the circumstances of the next political fallout, and trying to figure out how she feels about this - how she should feel about this, how she does feel about this...

Righteous Disappointment, is what she more or less concludes that she feels. That she will feel, when she meets Maedhros again. How could he. How could he. She'd believed in him...

No, Righteous Disappointment is how she wishes she could feel, but she's too honest with herself - she probably would've counseled the attack on Doriath, as a best hope (the Enemy would've done it if they hadn't!). She doesn't think she would've counseled the attack on Sirion, but she's talked with people who were there, what those late days were like with darkness spreading and bitter, angry desperation in every breath of air and sip of water. She remembers much the same from the not-days after the Darkening. She knows she wouldn't have turned away at Sirion, much less turned her coat.

She adopts Elrond almost offhand. There's a lot going on. Maglor is...ill, basically, half-mad from isolation and guilt. He hadn't been her lord, but she'd respected him for the earnest effort he put into their cause, so even if she's not sure how much she wants to still be affiliated with the literal House of Fëanor, rather than a consciously idealized concept of the House of Fëanor, she's glad to see him and does what she can to help him heal. Mostly he seems to heal by hanging around Eärendil, seemingly without intent to claim the Silmaril, which is... (ignites a hope in Rawen's chest which she hadn't realized it hurt to be without).

Rawen is pretty confident that her conflicted feelings, plus the distance of time, shake out to sympathetic neutrality re: the literal House of Fëanor. Well, re: Maedhros, and about half the others. She's more Unimpressed with Fëanor himself, and Celegorm and Curufin she'd frankly throw off a cliff for their little spectacle at Nargothrond. If Nargothrond had joined the Union of Maedhros in force, if Doriath had joined the Union in force...

What actually happens, when she meets Maedhros again, is that she bursts into tears and apologizes for losing Himring, which he'd left in her charge when he rode to what became the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. Funnily enough, this is roughly the same emotional sequence of events that happened in the various reunions of Fëanor's sons with their father.

After that initial burst of emotion, she does calm down, and... Okay, listen. She was going to rationally re-evaluate him. She does rationally re-evaluate him. She still mourns what the Noldor could've been when they were fierce and fire-led...but they are fierce and fire-led still, just tempered with long ages of peace rather than swift and savage intent. And Maedhros re-embodied is also tempered with long ages of peace and thought, the wisdom of utmost regret and slow, slow, still-incomplete self-forgiveness...

So, y'know, a few centuries later...when all the Oath-takers including Fëanor himself have returned and proven themselves capable of peacefully sharing a continent - and sometimes even family reunions! - with Gil-Estel...and nothing more dramatic has happened than the assembled line of Curufinwës blowing up the Alchemists' Quarter... Rawen teams up with Satarissë Finrodiel, Celechwes and Arafinwë himself to get Maedhros elected High King of the Noldor. The Fëanorians are back, baby!

(Maedhros was not consulted. To be fair, Arafinwë literally never is, either. For instance, his blissful vacation only lasts one term - but the point is made. Peace, cooperation and re-unification in Tirion, and maybe even everywhere else!)

#the silmarillion #my fic #ok so i went on for a bit #aman ever after #feanor and feanor's kin #ask meme

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collinnmckinley · 11 months

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wow. you have issues.

(1) telling people to “seek God” and assuming people are religious and believe in that? yikes. red flag.

(2) you’re literally shaming people for having a libido and engaging with sexual content in their own private lives, and having some fun—that’s another red flag and not cool. you clearly have some internalized issues with sex lol.

(3) it’s fucking FICTIONAL CONTENT, what the fuck is so wrong with liking fictional characters and wanting to talk about it? you don’t get to dictate and control what other people look at online. telling people to “seek God/help” for experiencing attraction to a character and reading fics??? wtf is wrong with you? extreme much? like this has to be satire, you can’t be fucking serious. that’s the kind of shit you say to a pedophile, or a rapist, or a murderer, or a bigot actively trying to ruin someone’s life, not some random person reading some fanfiction.

fuck you and your gifsets. I’ve followed and supported you for YEARS, but nah, you can go fuck yourself. I’ve seen you being a bitch to your own followers and people who support your content over and over, treating them like shit, having a conniption fit because people comment IN THE TAGS of a reblog of one of your gifsets or bc someone thirsted over a hot fictional guy from a game you also play. ‘god’ forbid anybody do anything outside of your ridiculous ruleset and dictatorship or they’re “not allowed to follow your precious public blog!” fucking private/password your blog then. stop making gifs. leave.

you’re on Tumblr dot com, a public website where the whole point of it is to reblog and add on commentary! people have every right to say something, and why WOULDN’T you want people to compliment the gifs or you or thank you for them? why in your mind are people “not allowed” to talk about their fav character in a gifset? you’re the only person out of THOUSANDS I’ve ever seen in the past 10 years bitching about people commenting on content here. at least people reblogged your shit, you ungrateful fuck.

you come off as a narcissistic, entitled, spoiled brat and have some serious anger issues. you’re the one that needs help, and not from some magical guy in the sky. get off Tumblr. you’d be doing the site a favour. one less dickhead amongst the circus.

“dni if you read fics!!!!!” that’s a new one. 😂🤡

holyshit what did I wake up to... lets go through this- whatever this is point by point shall we... cause I have a lot to say. buckle up!

first of all, yes I have issues, didn't I make it as clear as a sunny fucking day? everything I say or do, I bitch about it and I talk shit about it here. I legit don't care about what people say or think about me, I'm past that point in my life. tumblr drama? what is this? 2018?2019? grow the fuck up. I didn't make this blog for aesthetics and to coddle everyone who follows me. you like my content? I appreciate the shit out of you. you dont? I cant force you to like my posts nor gifs. but my blog my rules, dont like it? skedaddle.

"(1) telling people to “seek God” and assuming people are religious and believe in that? yikes. red flag." what of it even if someone didn't have religious beliefs? when I say that I mean get fucking cleansed you filthy bitches cause yall need to after consuming/create that type of media.

but no, all that bullshit going on on this fucking site that I've mentioned and you're worried about me pushing religious beliefs on people? and just basically say 'you're telling people to seek god? what if they dont believe in one? ugh so offensive' is kind of dumb really.

"(3) it’s fucking FICTIONAL CONTENT, what the fuck is so wrong with liking fictional characters and wanting to talk about it? you don’t get to dictate and control what other people look at online. telling people to “seek God/help” for experiencing attraction to a character and reading fics??? wtf is wrong with you? extreme much? like this has to be satire, you can’t be fucking serious. that’s the kind of shit you say to a pedophile, or a rapist, or a murderer, or a bigot actively trying to ruin someone’s life, not some random person reading some fanfiction." I never mentioned anything about liking a fictional character, or talked shit about someone liking one or reading fanfictions, did I go around and say 'oh you like ghost? fuck you you dont get to like him and read fanfics about him'. you missed every damn post I made. me ranting werent about people liking the characters or reading fanfics, my problem was with people consuming and creating the filthy, degenerate, pervy content made for the characters that I love.

and for fucks sake I talk about how I'm in love with fictional characters, you say you followed me for 'years and YEARS' yet you couldn't really understand the whole shtick of this blog, like the dumbass you are. I made this blog to rant and solely talk about how much I'm in love with fictional characters! and I go out of my way to seek out fanfictions on here and other sites. what an absolute imbecilic of being you are lmao.

also this phrase “seek God/help” like out of everything I said, and you took THAT to heart? and made a whole ass paragraph for it. religious point aside its a common phrase even an atheist can use, how old are you?

"fuck you and your gifsets. I’ve followed and supported you for YEARS, but nah, you can go fuck yourself. I’ve seen you being a bitch to your own followers and people who support your content over and over, treating them like shit, having a conniption fit because people comment IN THE TAGS of a reblog of one of your gifsets or bc someone thirsted over a hot fictional guy from a game you also play. ‘god’ forbid anybody do anything outside of your ridiculous ruleset and dictatorship or they’re “not allowed to follow your precious public blog!” fucking private/password your blog then. stop making gifs. leave." supported me for years and years yet you didn't know me well enough to read what i fucking wrote. and somehow you remember that i used to bitch about people leaving comments on my gifs cause it used to irritate me back in the day. it seems like you only pick up the bad habits about someone and keep them in your memories for some reason, and send them an ask like this to them when you dont like how they are anymore. (also get your facts clear man, I didn't bitch about people leaving comments in the tags I actually encouraged it, I bitched about people leaving comments IN the posts themselves. again another wrong fact about me).

"stop making gifs. leave" nah I don't think I will. I'll make even more, and bitch about how much i don't like people demolishing the characters I love even MORE now cause man, as tilted I am right now, I am MOTIVATED to make gifs even more now. oh my god you gave me something to work on!! just watch how many gifs i post this week :)

"you’re on Tumblr dot com, a public website where the whole point of it is to reblog and add on commentary! people have every right to say something, and why WOULDN’T you want people to compliment the gifs or you or thank you for them? why in your mind are people “not allowed” to talk about their fav character in a gifset? you’re the only person out of THOUSANDS I’ve ever seen in the past 10 years bitching about people commenting on content here. at least people reblogged your shit, you ungrateful fuck." its a public site but it's my blog, I get to post WHATEVER the fuck I want, I don't also tag these posts in the general media tags so it stay IN my blog, now if you you don't like it? simple enough. leave. also when have I ever said something or been ungrateful when someone liked my gifs??? that shit will send me over the moon even if the post didn't receive traction. holyshit youre dumb as fuck! my god I'm flabbergasted. someone leaving nice comments in the tags of a gif post, is a gif maker's wet dream! but of course you didn't know that cause why would you, or rather how would you cause you're dumb as fuck. what I bitched about wasnt someone leaving a nice comments in the TAGS so I can keep the post 'clean', I was bitching about people leaving comments on the fucking post itself and let me tell you they were NOT 'complements'. now if you didn't see that then not only you're dumb af, you're blind too.

"you come off as a narcissistic, entitled, spoiled brat and have some serious anger issues. you’re the one that needs help, and not from some magical guy in the sky. get off Tumblr. you’d be doing the site a favour. one less dickhead amongst the circus." narcissistic? I'm not too sure about it, I fucking hate myself that sometimes I'm suicidal and if you call that narcissism, then you need to fix your vocabulary. entitled? yes entitle to keep the filth out of my fucking blog that is. spoiled brat? yeah I've been spoiled with all the support that I've received recently from everyone who enjoyed my creations, and agree with my points that I've made about how degenerate cod fandome can be, and if by brat you mean being mature and express how some of the content in this fandom are just abominations, then yeah I'm a brat. also I fucking hate that word cause it's been in too many kinky fanfics that I managed to avoid, WHICH WAS THE TOPIC I WAS BITCHING ABOUT THE PAST TWO DAYS!

this isn't the first time I've been called all that cause I expressed what felt, and I'm sure it wont be the last either cause fucking brain dead, dumbasses like you exist in this site. and no amount of anon asks like this will make me get "off tumblr". you calling me a dickhead is fucking ironic considering what you sent over anon filter. fucking tiny dick, bitchless, maidenless, behavior.

"“dni if you read fics!!!!!” that’s a new one. 😂🤡" MY GOD! you are the dumbest anon I've received istg.

cry me a fucking river, you're expecting me to be grateful for having a follower like you? oh how you fucking wish. you lost all respect the moment you put on the anon filter on to send this abomination instead of sending sending one to actually have a debate or discuss it. oh I am so fucking glad you're gone.

and you also have some balls, coming here talking shit about how I keep ranting about stuff I didnt like, why dont YOU talk about it in your "own private blog"? I shit talk about how I hated the content some people made about my favorite characters, mischaracterized them or fetishized them in horrible ways. how I didn't appreciate the fact that people were going off and making filthy fanfictions about my favorite characters where they're being dicked down in the asshole and mouth at the same time, or how they're having their way with the supposed reader and they 'sharing them' with the others.

but you? you crossed the line that people don't cross in respect for others by sending this ask, not only you did that, you did it as a pussy ass bitchy anonymous. I hope you sleep well at night after you left this in my inbox. not only you sent a 'hate ask' you went out of your way to ask me to stop doing the only thing I love doing (beside shitposting and bitching) on this site, you made yourself look like a fucking clown by taking everything I ranted about the past two days out of context, and completely misinterpreting everything i posted.

and ironically you send a clown emoji so fitting

now all that aside, all this hypothetically speaking cause I aint a weak bitch and have managed to survive thus far; after you sending this 'nice ask' to me, what if I became suicidal again? what if I got tipped over the edge and completely disappeared from the site like you wanted by the nice words you sent? would you have taken the responsibility? would it be on your conscience that you ruined someone's life by sending a petty ass ask like this? do you really think this was a good idea? either you're getting roasted or taking responsibility of someone's demise. take that into consideration and think next time before you say some stupid shit like this.

there's an unspoken rule amongst people on this site. you don't send hate asks even if you're at your last straw. you unfollow and block people, but you did neither of those. and no matter how bad of a person is behind that blog you don't fucking tell them to 'get off tumblr' or tell them to stop doing what they love. you have absolutely no fucking right.

I wonder, how does it feel to act all 'holier than thou' then being wrong about everything you said. it also seems like you spent a little too much time on this ask cause I see those italic and bold words, man get a life, practice a hobby or just shut the fuck up. you could try to say that about me but I am FURIOUS right now. and goddamn motivated.

but yeah good fucking riddance. one less whiny bitch to worry about.

what a fucking dumbass...

I made the last post about people who likes 'pervy!141 hcs, kinky cumslut fanfics, and degenerate content' and told them to DNI because I've reached my limit, I told them to stay the fuck away from my blog, because I don't appreciate when people make scenarios about my favorite characters taking it in the ass and mouth at the same time, or associate them dark degenerate type of media, I dont want them near my blog and I certainly don't seek them out. all that happened recently is only because I went out my ways, which I rarely do, to seek some decent ass fanfictions. then, and only then I've encountered this stinky bull fucking shit.

#jay answers #dumbass anon #there's a new tag #made just for dumbass anons like this #what happened to trying to have decent taste?#or wanting to consume decent wholesome content?#if that makes me a bad guy then I've lost hope for this site all over again..#i've lost 4 followers because of the recent dni post #man shut the fuck up and get a life #i rewritten this 4 times now #cause i kept pressing ctrl+z #so im just gonna post this #anyways; be on the look out for more price and cod gifs #maybe some destiny too #edit: went ahead and edited some grammar and added a little bit more

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 2 years

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Guess whose ankle gave out for no discernable reason while walking to the parking garage at 2am after a bartending shift?

Guess who has a torn ligament now (and possibly something called connective tissue deficiency syndrome which I just played off as me being both active and clumsy all my life) and lost an entire source of income JUST before finally becoming somewhat mentally and financially stable?

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

I was blessed with many things: I'm pretty cute, I tell an okay story or two, I'm fairly athletic, I have blue eyes and a high IQ (even though I believe IQ tests are a scam but I digress), I have a wonderful son, a beautiful and supportive partner, several loving family members to balance out the abusive ones, and the best friends a person can have. I've got a good work ethic and I'm charismatic when I want to be. I'm resourceful (even if that's from the ✨trauma✨)but...

One thing I was not blessed with? Luck.

I blame my four retrograde placements and the possibility that I leveled a small village in a past life.

In other news, Min Yoongi is ruining my life with his dilf era and long hair (also he's so big now? Sir you were supposed to be my smol kitten boi) and I cannot believe I ever trusted a man, all they do is lie and I cannot think about Changkyun's new tattoo without breaking into hives. Also the latest SKZ album has NO SKIPS and I don't take criticism. What's going on with Jackson Wang? He's suddenly like GHOST on social media when he used to thirst trap us every 45 seconds and then he drops Blow, the slut anthem of our generation? Jackson did you date a Scorpio again? Sleep deprived just home from the ER confession: Tae lip syncing First Class in that insta story seemed like a personal attack bc I love that song and my friends clown me about my inexplicable attraction to Jack Harlow at all times. Don't @ me I don't want be attracted to him.

Bisexuality isn't a choice, it's pride month.

I've been legitimately working 80 to 100 hour weeks between two jobs and commissions but rest assured, I'm still peeping my head into kpop to see what's going on.

Anyways if you stuck out this long, rambling, "I'm badly injured and have had three hours of sleep in two days and my mental stability is hanging by a thread" post, hello. How are you, lovelies? I hope your luck is at LEAST 100x better than mine.

I'm praying to all the gods that my mental health meds (which my psych is still adjusting dosages of) starts working overtime, because I'm an Aries/Scorpio and being unable to move around much and having to rely on others for help is my personal hell.

Have a lovely Saturday, stay safe, keep your chins up, and remember you're valid and beautiful and I see you and love you.

*also if you're double-jointed or have frequent sprains or dislocations with seemingly no cause, research ligament laxity or CTDS. My whole life makes sense now. Well, some of it. A not so fun fact: CTDS has a high percentage of sufferers who have complex PTSD.

#bts #unlucky #my ex called me Jinx for a reason #torn ligaments 0/10 do not recommend #stray kids #monsta x #venom is probably my fave on the skz album #and if you're wondering it's not bc Jack Harlow is cute he's not but he does have the audacity and i enjoy that #i told Jackson to stop fucking with Scorpios but does he listen? no. he's an aries we can't listen

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thanatos-nightshade · 1 year

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I posted 14,052 times in 2022

That's 5,524 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (0%)

14,039 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@olivegardenmenu

@willworkforcakes

@shpider

@tigerintherain

@seeyouguyslater

I tagged 762 of my posts in 2022

#ohshc - 11 posts

#fashion - 9 posts

#come back to this - 9 posts

#listen - 7 posts

#t-n talks - 6 posts

#art ref - 5 posts

#tbd - 5 posts

#food - 5 posts

#lmao - 5 posts

#screaming - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#a nutshell sorry not sorry also im not bragging about my artistic skills because for realsies i'm just slightly above average on them so li

My Top Posts in 2022:

I finally did some art.

1 note - Posted March 3, 2022

when you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

I'm fucking adorable. I guess like shallow/narcissistic but more along the lines of generally I like how I look. There are some things that I don't like but they don't perturb me that much. Generally I think I'm adorable/cute and I like that but have the occasional issue with grander adjectives like beautiful/sexy that we won't get into because liking myself is enough.

I like that I'm good at art?? I'm not like fantastic but aaah to make this easier on me this can lead into my next one

I like my jack-of-all-trades thinking in that I don't really try to HONE one craft and instead try to experience things generally. For example, when it comes to art, I'm not that great digitally or traditionally, or musically, theatrically, or other. HOWEVER I have experience in all these areas ranging from oil paints, watercolors, ceramics, theater workshop, drama, choir, dance, sewing, crafts etc does gymnastics count? jk whatever So I like that I have not only had all the opportunities to try these but that I have tried to work on each of them a moderate amount we're working on sewing and crafting it's my lowest art stat rn followed closely by instruments

Let's see, I like my friend choices. I feel like all the friends I've made have been pretty good. Some have stuck around more than others but any friend GROUP that I've stuck with for a period of time like months to years, I always think about fondly. I don't think I've ever had like an insanely toxic friend or like a friend that would back stab me does that make me the toxic friend? Anyways, I feel like a lot of my life is colored by the friends/people I've surrounded myself with and yeah sure not all of my life is great but I made some nice friends and had some good shenanigans wherever I went.

Last but not least, I like my absolutely self indulgent/self insert nature. Listen, there is like no fandom that I have been a part of where I have NOT self inserted myself into in some way or another and god damn it NOBODYS GONNA DO THAT SHIT FOR YOU UNLESS YOU PAY THEM. I CAN PUT MYSELF INTO MY FAVORITE FANDOMS FOR FREE AND BY GOLLY I'M GONNA DO IT CAN'T STOP ME MY BRAIN IS A SELF INDULGENT THIRST MACHINE AND IT IS GOING

Anyways thank you so much for sending me this ask. It took me two days to get to it because I needed to sit down and think through these. I can't wait to send this to some of my followers!

2 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

I'm posting this at night because I want to share this and then bury it in reblogs because this scares me

3 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My birthday is on the 6th so i cant help but think that scara being released then is hoyos bday gift to me (i may or may not cry if i dont pull him)

6 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I need to put diluc and dainsleif on either side of leon from dislyte because i swear to god its all i see

11 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

0 notes

yuzuspace · 2 years

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the start of everything.

Hi, my name is Yuzu. I like to write sometimes. This is where I come, to retreat into a pseudo-safe space for me to selfishly and indulgently ship myself with fictional people.

Name: Yuzu

I use this name to separate myself from the persona I have created to self-ship, only because I also use the same name online. So to lessen confusion and that I know who you are talking to; she, my sona, is Kai. I, the writer and mod, am Yuzu. There might be times I might refer myself as Kai as it is also the name my friends call me by but if you have any criticisms regarding me, the writer, please address me as Yuzu so that I know that you are referring to me and not my self-shipping sona.

Pronouns: she/they

Age: I'm of legal age. I'm not comfortable sharing how old I am but I'm older than 18. I'm a fucking fossil. (jokingly)

Some FAQs for the curious soul under the cut ♡

What is this blog for?

I’m too shy to post my self-shipping written works on Ao3. So I figured. This is a good place to start. This is not an imagines blog for A3. This is a writing side-blog for my shameless self-shipping.

You self-ship?? Cringe! Unbased!

I’m cringe but at least I am free and very based, dearest! I live too short of a life to think about who to please! I’m mainly doing works for A3! (the game), specifically with one Summer Troupe leader (Sumeragi Tenma).

I have other children (my OCs, I do not mean to belittle them but they are my creations therefore, my children. Please do not get weird with me.) that I also use to create wonderful stories with!

I self-ship with Tenma Sumeragi romantically. I also have an OC for Muku Sakisaka. Feel free to drop asks for them should they tickle some of your braincells.

Sharing? (FUB ok?)

Sharing is totally fine for me, in fact—please! share to me your wonderful creations! All these wonderful fictional beings and you as well, deserve happiness and love! If you are not comfortable seeing my content because you are not a fan of sharing or anything else, feel free to block or mute me!

Do you write or draw?

This account would be mainly for writing but I do draw on the side every now and then on my Twitter account. I do love Tumblr's tag system so much, it's much more efficient on Tumblr than other SNS platforms, truthfully speaking.

Do we have...spicier options?

Well, I am not a stranger to such questions to be honest and yes! I do have a spicier option (for those who aren't following: NSFW content) for all those who thirst, like me! However, I will not be putting it here for now. Those would be for my eyes alone. I might put some out if I feel comfortable enough though ♡

When I do release my more...Cero-D rating-esque works (giggles), I will be tagging it with my own NSFW tag, feel free to blacklist the tag if it ever makes you uncomfortable. Edit: But also because of the Purge, no graphic stuffs. Please, I do not want to post this on Ao3, I am too shy for that.

EDIT EDIT: I forgot to update this but since Community Labels are a Real Thing™️, there’s that too but I also have a NSFW side side acc so I might just end up posting any NSFW works there :D

And please, if you are a minor—do me a favor and DO NOT browse this tag. The future you would thank and praise you as if you were God. I do not want to be held responsible for scarring you or…maybe awaken something in you ._.

In regards to questionable and mature content, I will tag them as such and put the rest under the cut! Please read the tags and heed the warnings! If you don't, don't say I didn't warn you. Please read. Thank you.

I think I've met you on Twitter! Oh my gosh, hi!

Hm! Isn't that wonderful, welcome to my hell-hole, albeit more...indulgent, I suppose. I'm no writer supreme but I try to enjoy the fruits of my labor :) Please, please! Enjoy your stay, send in an ask and let me know who you are on Twitter, I'd love to chat with some familiar names.

Hey, there's something you did that doesn't really sit well with me...

Oh, hi there! Please talk to me through my inbox/DMs! I'd prefer for us to come to an understanding through a discussion. No need to make the threads or the call-out posts, please. If this is something that can be resolved and be bettered through educating my un-informed self, please have a chat! We'll smoothen out the things, dearest.

I have a question unanswered, actually.

Well, don't be a stranger! Feel free to drop in my ask box anytime! I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible, or as soon as my academics permits. ♡

And that is about it! Thank you so much for coming this far ❤ I hope you enjoy your stay! (❁´◡`❁)

#happy first post <3 #outer yuzuspace

0 notes

killingbill · 2 years

Note

Well...if you want a Schneider ask 😁 with the new tour just around the corner, what do you want Schneider's outfit to be on this tour? 🍀

you reminded me of when he posted his latest insta snap of his kit, & i had a meltdown remembering that we're finally going to get to see the tour. the serotonin boost has been #real. this is a hard one. in all honesty, but firstly i have never once expected to see Schneider in sleeves, on stage. & who would ever want that? his arms, arguably, are top tier on my list of his attributes, in the sense that they're (sexy, toned & ridiculous) so attractive basically due to the practicing of his passion, so it gets me riled up. so, i suspect a sleeveless number. i feel like he always has the coolest costumes. my mans changed his bio, & It says "Father, " don't say "Daddy" - meaning he's a distinguished man, with babies. you know. no more booty shorts & fishnets to keep us happy. i would..... be in my peak prime if the outfit can somehow, let me peek at his belly. his belly is s tier, god tier... it is everything. it clears my pores, aligns my chakras. when we got the picture of him on set, thirst trapping us poor souls... (come to think of it he loves to thirst trap us.... & i think he knows what he's doing after the ... #darkn00d) i was busy absorbing the belly content i've been so deprived of since he used to take his shirt off on stage. even if it just peeks out, or something. there's also a certain wonder if they'll theme their costumes, like they did during the MIG era w. the laborer sort of vibe. you know, idk if their untitled EU tour had a theme for the outfits, although it didn't feel like it? but perhaps with a more concrete theme of this upcoming album, they will try & coordinate the outfits. i realize now i've hardly answered your question. but chances are, he'll be in a tank top of some description. fancier than lifad days. i do want this to continue being the case, though i'd like a bit looser fitting perhaps? maybe something cut like the chain mail looking costume circa rammstein paris/mig. but i think despite that, it would be nice to have him a little more understated than last tour, yet - i always like it when he feels on par with how the others are dressed. he's all the way in the back, so any details or embellishments they give him when till & richard are looking #flashy for example... it makes me smile. so yeah!! that's basically it. alternatives / wishful thinking include: put them all in suits like the beatles, at least for like - a few songs. remember that one show i forget which one but like, three of them are dressed in red & the other three are dressed in silver????? i'm pretty sure it's 100 Jahre. anyway, i fucking ADORED that vibe a lot? i'd like to see something like that again. the same vibe as when bridesmaids wear the same color but different styles of their dresses. it would be super super super cool to see him in a skirt, actually. not for any other reason than, i think he could pull it off well & they could do something super interesting with it. he arrives on stage in the black, zick zack outfit. this was so long, i missed this so much, thank you. lmfao. i very much appreciate it.

#; personal #christoph schneider #; rammstein #; christoph #; answered

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invisibleraven · 2 years

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One Year Fic-iversary!

So one year ago, I uploaded my first ever Julie and the Phantoms fanfic. I've already reblogged it if you wanted to give it a read.

When I wrote it, I really wasn't sure that I was going to write any more for this fandom, and present me is laughing at that so damn much. In that time I have written:

43 fanfics, including two ficlet collections (one for G-T rated ficlets, and one for E rated ficlets) equaling ~465k words. And if you saw my New Year's post, yes, that means I've written ~53k words since 2022 started. Told you I wasn't done!

Of course, this is the point where I get sappy, like every post like this before has done, so all of that is under the cut.

Thank you to @fandomdough and @reginaldpatterson for creating such beautiful artwork to go with my BigBang fics last year, and extra thanks to Geci for making the JatP Advent Event a thing!

Thank you to @reggiepetersbass and @catoptrific for being the best betas a girl could ask for when it came to my BB fics, and for honestly making me a better writer in the process.

To @tiriansjewel @psyduckappears and @floating-in-the-blue for always being so incredibly nice to me, even if we haven't talked as much, you three are so extremely kind.

@nuandia Vans, my fellow former Gleek, my introduction to the Regal Jewelry ship, and my dearest friend. Your heart and talent continue to blow me away, and I'm so grateful for you in my life. Love you hun. ❤

@daintyduck99 Ash, my sweetheart, thank you for always having an open ear and warm heart when I needed it most, for always flooding me with prompts, for being so kind and encouraging, for your talent and creativity as a writer and artist. You are truly a beautiful person, inside and out. I am so happy we started talking, and I count you as one of the sweetest friends I've ever made, love you lots. 💜

@merihn Alex, my Rulie muse... honestly the reason I even considered Rulie as a ship, so thanks for that! You have been an awesome sounding board, always there to listen or encourage me, and give me the best ideas for fics. Even with the stupid time difference, I know I can always count on you, and that means more than you know. Also you are so uber talented, and I am just so jealous of your ability to make me love all your stories, and even turning me around on pairings I was very nope about. Love you lots my dear. 💙

@where-you-go Jay... god Jay, you know how much you mean to me, how much your work means to me. How you tuned me into Rukebox and ruined my life as a result. 😅 You became one of my biggest cheerleaders over the past year, always making me smile and cry and scream with your gorgeous fics, your amazing comments, and your lovely personality. I just adore you, and I am so so thankful we stumbled across one another and that you let me run with so many of your headcanons. You're the reason for half that word count up there, at least. So much love sweetie. 💕

@bananakarenina Katie, I had to save the best for last. Katie... there are no words for how much I care about you. You constantly blow me away with your writing, but then, you turn around and have become probably my biggest fan which humbles me beyond measure. You have helped me through some of my darkest moments in this fandom, hell in this past year, and I don't think you even know how insanely grateful I am that you're always there to listen to me, support me, beta my work, and just chat about anything. I feel insanely blessed to have you in my life, and I seriously think you are one of the best friends I've ever had in fandom. When it's safe you and I are definitely going on an adventure involving snuggles, baked goods, and mutually thirsting over Jeremy Shada together. You're the Julie to my Reggie darlin', and I love you more than words can say. 💜❤

#happy one year of jatp fic!#and there's still more to come!#i love you all #but especially my rulie canoe crew #they are the reason i'm still here and writing

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kylewalker-peters · 2 years

Note

💌 I can't not .... got my screenshot fingers ready

well...if you've got your screenshot fingers ready...i GUESS it would be rude not to

dear miss allie mbappe2spurs,

please stop just writing COCK in the biggest font tumblr has.

thanks,

miss eleanor kylewalker-peters

no wait im joking im kidding

dear miss allie mbappe2spurs,

we have known each other but mere months and YET i am already like wow can i call allie and i friends??? do you think i have the HONOUR of considering us to be little internet pals? there is no such thing as an influencer on tumblr but like if there was one you'd be it. you'd be the IT girl. hell you already kinda are.

you're literally stunning and your voice is so lovely to listen to like okay????? i know i said this under your accent tag video but you just genuinely seem like someone i'd want to be friends with and just hang out with in each other's living rooms with you. you have the BEST vibe. i think that your family and friends and the kids you help at school are all very lucky to be in your presence and know you actually.

i support your rights and more importantly i am here to support your wrongs (ie 90% of the men you thirst after i means seriously bestie ily but mein gott) but your appreciation for the male body is truly something else and where else am i going to get expert arse analysis on the internet? we'd be deprived without you.

also you're so funny to the point it's intimidating you make me genuinely laugh out loud even when you don't mean to (team is meat backwards makes me giggle whenever i think of it and i think of it often). but you're also so nice to everyone and incredibly complimentary and as much as i am MASSIVELY intimidated by you and can be like oh my god i hope this message or tag or post passes the allie test or whatever it's not out of fear but just like i genuinely hope that i make you laugh? and you like everyone's posts when they reblog from you just to be like wow i see you and like what you said and that's such a sweet gesture.

the fact you've ever screenshotted a single thing i've ever said is insane to me and is a genuine achievement from the decade i've spent on this webbed site and im like stupidly proud of it. i can only hope anything I have said here or will say in the future is good enough to join your screenshot folder.

okay this is getting stupidly long so i shall conclude by saying allie i love you i think you're the fucking coolest person on here (although it is tumblr and i am me so take all of that with a pinch of salt lmao). i think i along with the rest of footyblr can confidently say that tumblr wouldn't be anywhere near as fun without you especially with you uniting people across clubs and leagues with your posts.

lots of love,

miss eleanor kylewalker-peters

#allie tag

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suometar · 3 years

Text

youtube

Power song of the day: Wake up by Smash into Pieces

You can not resist, like a moth to a flame -- You know it will burn, but sometimes you enjoy the pain

This is your favorite game -- But you're gonna be defeated -- And you're never gonna beat it -- Controls you like a slave -- But you gotta stop pretending -- You won't get a happy ending

(Chorus) Someday you're gonna wake up -- Gonna wake up -- From a life in fantasy -- Someday you're gonna wake up -- Gonna wake up -- And realize it's not meant to be -- You stumble in the dark cause you close your eyes -- Guided by the sweet talk lullaby -- But someday you will wake up -- You will wake up From a life in fantasy -- Wake up!

You try to cut everyone out of your life -- So no one can question how you can believe the lies

This is your favorite game -- But you're gonna be defeated -- And you're never gonna beat it -- Controls you like a slave -- But you gotta stop pretending -- You won't get a happy ending

(Chorus)

You're in the fire, what do you do? -- You wake up -- The final round is waiting for you

(Chorus)

Why? Well...

I'm coming down from mania.

Which sucks. And here's a glimpse into my 30 or so years experience of this nonsense.

But before I say more I want to say to everyone who I have been venting during the last month or so:

Please don't think that you have contributed in making my situation worse. You haven't. The fuel for all of it comes from within myself. I am nothing but crateful that I have had a chance to vent to someone because otherwise it all would've just clumped inside me and that would've made the situation worse.

And besides, not all venting has been caused just by mania. When I'm manic it doesn't remove the normal thoughts and feelings I have.

When you're stuck in a tar pit created by a certain person for who knows how many years in a row it's obvious it's not just the mania. I think you guys know what that's like :D

Coming down is like a really really really REALLY bad hangover

Except that you can remember every single thing you've done, the things you've felt, the things you've planned, what you thought of. EVERYTHING.

And you KNOW they're all just a result of the chemical imbalance of your own brain.

Coming down doesn't mean necessarily that I'm now depressed. It's just getting back to your normal state from mania.

But the bad hangover is real. If you've experienced that you know what it's like. Regrets after regrets.

What's mania like

That ecstacy of mania is an immense rush you don't really know unless you've experienced it yourself.

It's difficult to describe, but I think falling in love really hard and fast is the closest that describes it best. You have butterflies in your stomach all the time, you're hyperfixating on that one person and you feel invincible, like everything in your life is finally perfect and you're in control like never before.

Or even better: It's like being on speed, except without the drugs. Overstimulated 24-7-365.

Hyperfixation is typical for mania

In my case the hyperfixation can be basically anything from men (real or fictional, doesn't really matter lol) to any action, hobby or even work, totally depends on the situation.

What I do is I dedicate all my time to that one thing and one thing only even though I know it's not healthy.

Thank god I've learned to control it so that it won't take ALL of my time anymore, but it still is there. And I need to cater it to some extent or I won't be able to do anything.

It's like having a parasite you can't get rid of but you can make it behave if you give it some attention from time to time.

What's real and what's not? That is the question

When you're having mania it's sometimes super hard to differentiate what's a real thought and what is based on the illusion created by your own mind. And even though I am nowadays capable to tell the difference of my real thoughts/feelings and the ones fueled by mania the later ones do have an effect on me even though I try not to react to them.

The tricky thing is that your body can't tell the difference of a so called real/normal thought/feeling and one created inside my head fueled by mania.

A manic person wants nothing more than get more of the dopamine that fuels the ecstacy. Which easily can lead to a psychotic episode/period.

The saddest part is that manic person usually looks and behaves exactly like any normal person. You can't tell from outside if someone is having mania unless they choose to show it. Psychotic then usually is clearly psychotic and erratic and behaves totally out of character.

Triggers for mania

Anything can basically be a trigger for mania and they vary from person to person. For me it's usually one of the following:

an extreme negative change in life (such as death, divorce or other big things like that),

finding a new crush,

intensive concentration on some activity,

social media, or

as surprising as it might be: music. Especially any with a faster tempo.

Usually though I have already been somewhat hypomanic before the real mania hits. Hypomania though is very hard to notice because I'm somewhat easily excited and impulsive already by nature.

But I've lived with this so long that I know when it's going overboard. My manic mind just usually chooses to say it's nothing and I believe it like a fool - because it feels so good.

This time the trigger for me was intensive concentrating on writing. While the writing was crucial in easing my general anxiety this time it had this unfortunate side effect.

Nonetheless, I'm not quitting writing. Because the anxiety has eased significantly from when I started. I probably need to change the subject for a while and not to write daily or limit it just for 30 mins a day.

How a new crush can happen when you're married, you ask?

Oh, easily. See, with a manic mind a marriage is nothing but an obstacle. Nothing is but an obstacle that is designed to limit you. Because you're omnipotent. And obstacles - well, they're made to be conquered or plowed through.

In my case I've chosen to keep my crushes online and physically as far away from me as possible. I've made a mistake of crushing into someone irl and that was UGLY for all parties involved.

Thirsting over someone from afar online while remaining happily married is by far a better option.

How to control mania or turn it off

Yes, you can turn it off. The problem with that is that usually manic person doesn't

feel like something is wrong, and

doesn't want to get down from the high.

But there are things you can do to get it end sooner.

Log off from all social media. Seriously. Don't just turn notifications off - LOG OFF.

If that's not enough, remove all the social media apps from your phone. You can always install them again.

Turn off your phone if it's possible.

Don't use computer unless it is absolutely necessary - like for paying bills. You don't need to find out what age Barbara Streissand is at 2:30am - or, well, ever.

Social media is by far the biggest contributor for mania. The apps are designed to give us a dopamine rush each time we scroll down any feed and see a new post. That's how they keep us stuck on them.

When you already have an issue with the dopamine rush using social media just makes it worse.

You won't miss anything if you log off for two days or a week. SERIOUSLY. But it will improve your well-being tremendously.

The absolutely best thing you can do is to create as dull environment to yourself as possible. That there's nothing artificial you can drown yourself into. Best place to be in mania is in the middle of the woods without any mobile signal - trust me.

Take up an activity where you do something with your hands. Hands-on approach is crucial.

Doing things with your hands will root you into the real world.

It doesn't matter what it is: cooking, cleaning, handcrafts, drawing or painting (NOT on a computer or ipad but with real pencils/crayons/paints/brushes/etc).

Remember not to do just that though. Go out (without your phone). Enjoy the nature. Listen to the sounds of the outside world. Don't close your senses with headphones. Read. Watch out of the window. Stare at the wall. Watch the paint dry.

LET YOURSELF GET BORED.

Just stay away from any electronic devices.

The hangover is horrible but it'll pass. And you will feel better afterwards when you're functional again.

------

It's not easy. None of us chose to live with bipolar. It's always inherited. But there are ways to work through it.

I hope this helps at least someone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#bipolar disorder #bipolar #bipolar mania #coping skills #mental health tips #thoughts from the crypt #long post

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direnightshade · 2 years

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Tumblr Writer Q&A

Thanks so much for the tag, @daydreamsofren! ♡ I'll throw this under a Read More so it doesn't clog up the dash.

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)?

Completed? lmfao None. I did upload a new BHB piece to AO3 though, so... If we're talking what's not been added to tumblr, then I guess I can count that.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now?

DO NOT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS. It's like 60+ though. DON'T LOOK AT ME, I HAVE TROUBLE FOCUSING SO I AM CONSTANTLY WORKING ON NEW THINGS.

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both?

I used to take requests but that became a tad overwhelming. Also wouldn't consider my ideas original. lmfao So neither?

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have?

I'm not gonna lie, I still have a bunch of requests saved in my drafts from when I did take them...

5) How many fandoms do you write for?

Oof. Technically I've only published fics for the ADCU and also Attack on Titan, but I'm working on some Demon Slayer and Tokyo Ghoul fics too.

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for?

Yep. I used to write for Marvel (specifically Daredevil / The Punisher), Stranger Things, and The Walking Dead.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for?

Eh, I don't really think I write for niche fandoms or characters tbh.

9) Do you read fics as well as write them?

I do! I used to read a lot more but not so much anymore, though I'm trying to get back into it.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Anything dark and angsty. I feel like I do best in genres where I can pour a lot of my emotions into and that usually tends to be more depressing content. lol whoops

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?

Probably a/b/o.

12) What do you do to get motivated to write?

Nowadays, it's usually @leatherboundbirate and/or @burningdownthedark who have the audacity to make me thirst over various scenarios which in turn gets me motivated to write.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write?

Slow burn, probably. I'm too impatient to write it myself, I think. I love to read it though, as frustrating as it may be. lol

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested?

Mm, maybe Dan? I really haven't ever gotten many requests for him.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Oh god. I don't even know. It's been years though.

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing?

I did!

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well?

Started off on fanfic.net, moved to tumblr, and then also moved to AO3.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”?

Just going to preface this and say that I have no idea what the actual threshold for these are so these are just how I've always looked at it. I think I would consider probably anything 500 words or less a drabble, anything over 500 a one shot and idk...I sometimes use fics/one shots interchangeably.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other?

I wish I had the attention span for multi chapter stories that I could actually finish. But because I typically don't, I'll have to go with one shots.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why?

No, not really. I'm still actively working on everything, it's just severely slow going.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr?

I think the discouragement of writers from other writers in the fandom is a big problem and it's something that's bothered me for a long time now.

22) Do you write at a particular time of day?

I have found that most of my ability to focus and be motivated comes in the morning, so usually I write most of my stuff between 7 - 10 weekday mornings.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence?

I listen to music. Typically, I put the same song on repeat and let that play over and over while I write.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing?

Some of them I do. I have outlines for To the Wolves, Fidelity, and a couple others that haven't seen the light of day yet.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?

I'm impatient so I usually just post as I finish.

Tagging: I'm sure plenty of people have been tagged in this already so I won't be tagging anyone. However, that being said, if you're seeing this and you want to take part, feel free to consider this me tagging you!

#Tag Game #Writer Q&A #Q&A #Personal

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palimpsessed · 3 years

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So @captain-aralias did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

#fan fic year in review #my fic #at the top of a tower with you #use your words #a man of letters #to the manor borne

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