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bird-inacage · 8 months

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1 YEAR WITH PRAPAISKY / FORTPEAT

My first post about Love in the Air was published on 1 September 2022, where I started speculating on what the Prapaisky storyline may have in store. But it was really when I shared my first meta 'Love in the Air: Sky’s Desire to be Loved' that I realised just how many others were invested in the Sky/Prapai story.

LITA was the first thai BL series that was on my radar before it aired, that I avidly followed during it's weekly release, and then far beyond. In those very early days, there were probably less than a dozen of us posting about Prapaisky here. And once LITA finally did start, it quickly dawned on us that the Prapaisky episodes wouldn't begin until the second half. The sound of crickets and the occasional sighting of tumbleweed would continue before we got some substantial content to feast over. Let me tell you, the wait was trying. Fast forward to just over a year later, and it's absolutely incredible to see how much this show and pairing has blown up since then.

I'm extremely grateful for how much joy both my mutuals and followers have brought me throughout this fandom. Even if this blog does shift to other shows or pairings, this couple will always have a particularly special place in my heart.

How did I come across LITA, was it love at first sight?

I happened upon the trailer, and these two immediately caught my attention. Sky entranced me with his big doe eyes, much like how Prapai was drawn to him that fateful night at the race track. I swiftly fell in the love and the rest is history.

What do I love about Prapaisky?

There's something I find very compelling but also comforting about the Prapaisky relationship. A story is more likely to stick with me when there is really poignant character development - something that can be found in both Sky and Prapai. Their relationship is a healthy union that makes them both better people. Prapai is humbled by Sky's love, and Sky is empowered by Prapai's.

(ABOVE: My full video edit "this is how you fall in love" is on youtube HERE)

Favourite Prapaisky scene?

I think the episodes I have rewatched the most are probably Episode 10 and Episode 13. But just to mention some of the scenes which I find most memorable: Sky holding back tears after his one night stand, Prapai coaxing a feverish Sky during a nightmare, Sky falling asleep in Prapai's arms during Last Cheer, Prapai's imaginary kiss whilst Sky is sleepy, Prapai's utter devastation when Sky breaks up with him over the phone, Sky's affectionate back hug when Prapai comes to him, Prapai begging Sky to cry, Sky wiping away Prapai's tears.

What do I love about Fortpeat?

My favourite aspect of this partnership is Fort being a hugely affectionate and clingy person, whilst Peat is smothered by his love. Peat tends to be the more quiet and measured one within the LITA foursome (probably due to being the oldest) but Fort brings out his inner child. I still can't get over the fact Fort calls him 'baby' because he acts like one when he's with him. You wouldn't have known this in the early days when Peat was considerably more reserved. Fort comes across as an unfiltered, energetic, massive softie. Peat is the grounded, silent assassin of a tease who is unapologetically himself.

The future of Fortpeat?

I desperately hope these two get a new series as a couple. LITA really put them both on the map, and I'd be incredibly shocked if they don't get cast in something new, considering their enormous popularity now. But please, please give them a decent script. We know what they're capable of and I want to see their talent given the material it deserves.

#LITA #love in the air #love in the air series #prapaisky #paisky #fortpeat #peat wasuthorn #fort thitipong #I'll love them forever #how has time gone so quickly??#my sweet precious babies #a prapaisky anniversary #where my chronic insanity started

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endless-bunny · 6 months

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I was wrong about marriage in D&D 5e (not clickbait)

I don't think I've blogged about it before but I was previously very dismissive of the 5e marriage ritual (ceremony, in Xanathar's Guide to Everything, p.151) and compared it unfavourably to the equivalent ritual in PF2 (heartbond, in Advanced Player's Guide, p.242)

However, upon a second, closer examination, I realise I was unfair to ceremony. I had previously thought that it was both monogamous and exclusive, but in fact it is only exclusive, not monogamous. In fact, in this way it has a slight advantage over PF2's heartbond, which is monogamous but not exclusive.

Ceremony

1st-level abjuration (ritual) Casting Time: 1 hour Range: Touch Components: V, S, M (25 gp worth of powdered silver, which the spell consumes) Duration: Instantaneous You perform a special religious ceremony that is infused with magic. When you cast the spell, choose one of the following rites, the target of which must be within 10 feet of you throughout the casting. Wedding. You touch adult humanoids willing to be bonded together in marriage. For the next 7 days, each target gains a +2 bonus to AC while they are within 30 feet of each other. A creature can benefit from this rite again only if widowed.

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Notice how it just says "adult humanoids". Ceremony lets you target any number of creatures, joining them all together in marriage at once. You can't later add people to your polycule, but it's only a 1st-level spell and the cost is pretty minimal.

It does suck that the mechanical benefits only last for one week (is this what they call the "honeymoon phase"?) but that's enough time for the whole gang to get married and just steamroll the final dungeon. +2 AC is a big deal in 5e, so to have the benefit last longer you'd probably have to make it less impactful. I'm now imagining that trope of the socialite woman in black velvet and a stole, with a string of ex-husbands who died in mysterious circumstances. Come to think of it, I think Zee Bashew did a video about exactly that.

Also note the ambiguity in "within 30 feet of each other" -- does everyone have to be within the same 30-foot radius, or is it sufficient to be within 30 feet of any single member of your polycule? (not that any of you are "single members" now, hey-o). If it's the former, it does suck that it doesn't also give you a bonus to Reflex saves, because having your whole gang clustered within 30 feet puts you in prime fireball proximity.

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Compare and contrast heartbond:

Heartbond

Ritual 2

Cast 1 hour; Cost fine wine and a set of matching rings or other tokens worth 40 gp total; Secondary Casters 2 Primary Check Nature or Religion (expert); Secondary Checks Diplomacy, Society Range 20 feet You create a magical bond between two willing creatures, who are secondary casters of the ritual and must share genuine affection for one another. As part of the ritual, both members of the bond receive a ring, amulet, or similar token to symbolize their shared connection. They lose the effects of the ritual when not wearing the token, and the bond is broken if either token is destroyed.

Creatures benefiting from a successful heartbond ritual can later participate in a heightened version of the ritual without requiring new checks by spending the required time and paying the difference of the two costs. A creature can be under the effects of multiple heartbond rituals at once.

Critical Success Once per day, each bonded creature can use a 2-action activity, which has the concentrate trait, to learn the present state of the other bonded creature. The creature knows the other creature's direction and distance and any conditions affecting them. Both of the participants can cast message as a divine innate spell at will, but can only target the other participant. Success As a critical success, except the bonded creatures can't cast message as a divine innate spell. Failure The ritual has no effect. Critical Failure Magical backlash creates discordant energy among the participants. For 1 week, each ritual participant is clumsy 2 and stupefied 2 whenever they are within 30 feet of another ritual participant. Heightened (6th) Increase the cost to a total value of 600 gp. On a success, secondary casters in the ritual permanently gain the effects of a 6th-level telepathy spell, but only with each other.

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A few differences here. It's a higher level and has more expensive material components, plus a chance of failure. The effects are permanent, but also much more minor. In some ways I do like this, like you're not incentivised to get married specifically for the mechanical benefit. It's also a ritual rather than a spell, which in PF2 means that anybody can cast it, not just a spellcaster, as long as they have the right skill proficiency. (notice also that the secondary casters are the people to be married. Their success on the secondary checks directly impacts the degree of success of the primary check, which means if somebody is getting married and they forget their vows, or forget the traditional routine, they might get a worse version of married)

But notice as well that it specifically allows you to bond only two participants at a time rather than any number. This is what I mean when I say that the 5e marriage ritual is exclusive but not monogamous, and the PF2 marriage ritual is monogamous but not exclusive.

While this means you can link up a whole polycule, it has to be done in pairs, which means the cost for each member beyond the second is (40gp × [the number of members already bonded]). So the third member would have to be the target of two rituals; the fourth would have to be the target of three, and so on.

If I could just make one revision, it would be to remove this stipulation and just let you bond any number of creatures as part of the same ritual, perhaps increase the cost linearly rather than geometrically, maybe say the cost is "20gp × [the number of targets]", and adding a new member to an existing polycule just requires paying once more.

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So to summarise: the 5e ritual has its place and is very strong, I dismissed it unfairly before and upon a second reading I'm much more favourable towards it. Still sucks that it only lasts a week, but given how big the mechanical benefit is that's possibly for the best. Nice that you can bond as many creatures as you want in one go.

The PF2 ritual is more expensive, weaker mechanically, and has a chance of failure, but it's permanent. Sucks that you have to bond people in pairs, especially considering PF2 has historically been very good at queer representation, and I think polyamory is a natural extension of that.

Maybe the PF2 remaster will include a more poly-friendly version of the ritual, but if not I'll just homebrew it, NBD.

#pathfinder #pathfinder 2e #pf2e #tabletop #ttrpg #role playing games #role playing game #dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd 5e

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rays-of-fire-and-ice · 2 years

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BLEACH: The Thousand Year Blood War Ep 1 Thoughts and Reactions

Overall reaction:

^ I was each of these guys at some point while watching the episode

WE'RE BACK! WE'RE ACTUALLY BAAAACK!

Highlights:

Seeing the Karakura gang back together in Ichigo's room: I got emotional, and teared up for the second time! It's just so nice to have all these character back on the screen together, and when you think about where this is all going to go...they;re in for a rough one.

The Kick TM: he really shouldn't have stood on Ichigo's bed.

Everyone getting their chance to show off their powers: this is probably my favourite moment in the whole episode. Chad and Orihime got to have a good moments, Uryu's fight was absolute hype and I can't get over how incredible it looks, and Ichigo...when he screamed 'BANKAI!' I cried, you cried, we all cried. Absolutely stunning visuals and animation for that entire scene, I loved it and I've gone back and watched it more than once.

The declaration of war: this scene couldn't have been adapted any better, it was downright perfect! From the suddenness of Chojiro's death to the reflection in the Quincy's helmets to the explosion of flames from Yamamoto, it was stunning!

The end credits sequence: the highlight reel to end all highlight reels, this was such a nice touch! I was already emotional, but this just made me start crying AGAIN! I mentioned in a tag before, but when they showed the clip of Hitsugaya and Hinamori from 293, I screamed. And then the Ginran section that came after, I sobbed...I was not prepared!

I'm almost speechless. I can't believe we're actually here. We have a new anime, the fandom is back, and BLEACH is trending on social media. It comes back with a punch and a half, with a stunning visual style, some amazing animation, and a good pace for the first episode. I can't get over the detail and style in some of these scene. I mean just look at this shot of the Wandenrich's helmet:

Look, maybe I'm alone in this, but I just love the detail of a reflection in the helmet. It's something they could have left out, just make it that the helmets don't have a reflection and are just a blank surface. The reflection not only makes for a more visually appealing shot, it adds something to these characters who's faces we can't see. The fact such a violent death and the head of all the Shinigami is reflected on their helmets emphasizes just how dangerous these guys are. They've gone for the jugular of Yamamoto, and Chojiro's death is just the first of many violent events yet to come. All that from a reflection on a helmet! (I know, it's just me over-analyzing ^^; )

Another thing worth bringing up is cut content. The majority of scenes and moments cut seem to be comedic ones, and I think this is actually a good move. While hope a few of these moments get incorporated down the line, making the first episode primarily a serious one really sets the tone for this arc. This is a war, not some shounen protagonist going to fight the big bad and win, not some tournament arc, not some colourful battle anime, this is going to be rough. For me, TYBW is BLEACH's darkest arc, chock full of character deaths and near-deaths, violent battles, and character moments that are dark and shocking when you think more about them. This is also reflected in the colouring, with darker shades in the character designs and darker lighting, setting a somber mood for what's to come.

And now to get needlessly sentimental!

I'll preface this by saying BLEACH was one of the first anime I got into while I was in high school and has held a special place in my heart ever since. It was for the latter reason alone I continued to keep this blog running, even when I had [gradually] stopped loving the series after the manga ended. Also, it helped that I had some of the most amazing followers a blog could ask for, you all encouraged me to keep reblogging BLEACH and writing for it.

After watching this episode and realising how much I missed seeing these characters, I am in love with this series again. A part of me feels like I'm a teen again, binging through the episodes and coming to love the characters, and another part of me is looking forward to revisiting this arc as if it were the first time I'm seeing it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go lie down, the hype has completely sapped me of energy.

This is seriously me right now...so happy though!

#bleach #ichigo kurosaki #chad #uryu ishida #orihime inoue #HYPE HYPE HYPE!#WHAT A FANTASTIC START #bleach episode reactions

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emilyelizabethfowl · 3 months

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I'm slowly struggling through an assignment, so this is my reward to myself: a new pinned. because the number of my OP works is slowly growing and I wanna have them out on my blog uwu

someday in the future i'll probably sort them by category but for now there's only 7 of them so chronological should be good enough

Who's On First? - crack - ASL - <1k

A moment of silence passed. A beat, followed by a second when Sabo naively thought this was going to be the end of this. “Then why did you say you’re Ace?” Luffy asked, shattering the peace. Sabo groaned, throwing his head back and letting it thunk against the wall of their treehouse. “Yeah, I wanna know, too,” Ace added. “Are you calling me rizzles?” “Believe it or not, this conversation wasn't supposed to have anything to do with you,” Sabo mumbled, his eyes focused on the sky instead of his dumbass brothers.

You Are Loved - light angst & fluff - Ace & his parents & Luffy - 13k

“You have no idea who I am!” Ace yelled, shrugging the hand off roughly. It shouldn’t have worked, Roger was clearly just humouring him, but all that mattered was to have it off- “Neither of you knows me! You weren’t there!” His parents’ faces grew blurry. “You weren’t there,” he repeated, hanging his head low and wrapping his arms around himself in a pale imitation of his brother’s hugs. “You left me all alone.” Maybe Luffy had a point, back when he told them loneliness was the worst kind of pain. Rouge was the first one to move, bringing Ace back into her embrace. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, darling.” He let himself be held, but didn’t dare relax. Surely that bastard would try to get in on the hug, surely he would interrupt, surely- Roger was crying.

Kitchen ABCs - funny & fluff - Sanji & Zeff - 1.9k

The following day in the kitchens was very entertaining. For everyone who wasn’t Little Eggplant, at least. “See, it’s an orange,” Patty was saying, shoving it proudly into the kid’s face. “It’s round and starts with an O sound, so when you see a circle on a piece of paper-” “I know how to read!” The brat interrupted indignantly. His face was beet-red—the orange wasn’t the first comparison the cooks made—and he snatched the fruit from Patty’s hands, storming off to prepare the dessert he needed it for. With every letter and the following assurances of his literacy, which grew higher in pitch each time, Zeff couldn’t help but be certain that the boy was simply too proud to admit his lack of skill.

disconnected - extreme angst - Sabo vs Ace & Luffy - 4.5k

For a brief second, Sabo really wanted to interfere. The sword in his hand wasn’t his trusty seastone-covered pipe, but he could cover it with haki and it would work just the same against Akainu’s logia powers. He could step in front of Strawhat. Sabo was a bit far, but still closer than Fire Fist, and with how little energy he spent in this war so far, he was fast enough to make it. There was nothing stopping him from saving the Strawhat. And probably Fire Fist, too, considering the guy seemed desperate to throw himself in the way and Sabo doubted he knew what haki even was, let alone how to wield it. He really wanted to step in but, in the end, Sabo didn’t. These two pirates, young as they were, signed their own death warrants when they decided upon their career. Sabo still had his mission to finish, and he couldn’t sabotage it all for a couple of rookies.

Are We Brothers in Every Universe? - fluff (?) - ASL - 3k

“You can pick any island -- as long as it’s not Garp’s.” “You’re no fun, Benn,” Shanks complains, but drops the matter, picking another island at random. *** “You just mumbled about not wanting to go back and went back to sleep. You were being very boring, Sabo.” It takes him an embarrassingly long moment to realise that is supposed to be his name. *** “Demon wings, they call them,” Gramps had said once, one too many cups of sake into an evening. “Like Rogers’; Hell, if the wrong person sees them, they might think you are his kid! Bwahaha!” *** “Oi, Luffy,” Garp calls out gruffly. “I brought you a friend.” *** “One day, I’m going to be free just like that.” *** “Wait,” Ace cuts in, his brows furrowed. “A dojo? Your dad owns a dojo? Why don’t you just beat up those bullies of yours then?!”

Peekaboo - fluff - Dragon & baby Luffy - 1.2k

Maybe he should have gone with his original plan and left Luffy with Garp. At least his father, as far as Dragon was aware, never lost a child. How do you lose a child, you might ask? Well, simply put: You forget to cherish them. Perhaps you have some very important reports to go through, and you dare commit the ultimate crime of Not Paying Attention to your beloved toddler, and the next time you look up, he’s just- gone.

family connections - crack - Garp & Ace (mentioned) - 1k

Garp blinked, tilting his head as he played up his cluelessness. "His family connection?" Sengoku stressed. "Last I checked, being related to me wasn't a crime," Garp said, deliberately obtuse. "It should be," Sengoku muttered. "I meant the part where he's the son of Gold Roger! " Garp started laughing. And then, once he started losing steam, he remembered that one time all three of the brats got trapped between the branches of the same tree, firmly stuck one above another like yakitori, and kept laughing.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #dragon the revolutionary #black leg sanji

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demivampirew · 2 years

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How are all of you doing? I hope you are well ♥ I just wanted to pop up for a second to say I'm doing ok. I've realised that the last time I posted something here was right at the start of the year when I got covid-19 and me not posting for months can look like something happened to me. I'm doing just fine. I continued with symptoms for months and I still haven't fully recovered; my headaches are constant, although I suspect they might have something to do with cervical problems, previously diagnosed. I've been dealing with depression too, trying to socialize and get out more now that the world is slowly getting back to "normal" but not being able to do so. And, I feel always tired, which is normal when you are depressed, unfortunately.

Another reason I haven't posted in a while is that I'm not in the mood to create new content. It's not a secret anymore that I'm mad at Henry for the way he's treated his loyal fans, throwing us under the bus because he failed to single out the people actually harassing his family, friends and that woman; then complete silence, then back to pushing us to have to see her and her dog, then back to silence, then pretending she didn't exist when he was promoting The Witcher, then pushing her down our throats, even if he knows at least half of his fandom can't stand her -great for him to do while claiming he appreciates privacy, like he said less than a year before that woman showed up on his life and ours, unfortunately. And now, seeing that he used Kal to promote a product and she used her for his charity, again, knowing half of his fandom, probably more, hates her, it's absolutely heartbreaking.

The thing is that I'm still hopeful he'll be back to be himself someday and, that's probably the reason why I'm still his loyal fan...? -I believe I am because I still spend a lot of time supporting his shows and movies but, I'm sure now I carry the label of "bitch" "You're not a fan, you're a hater" and so on.

Anyway, I don't want this post to be a testament and it's already too long, so I'll just finish by saying that I'm so thankful for all the people who understand how I feel or maybe doesn't but still supports me and thinks my feelings are valid. I'm thankful for those who care about me and have sent me lots of messages and asks asking how I was doing. All the people who still support my blog and follow me, like and reblog my stuff, thank you so much ♥

I know the gif doesn't match my post but look at him, laughing, I miss that so much ♥😭

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toseeclearly · 1 year

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i deleted everything by accident

I deleted everything by accident, and now I am grieving.

It's not that these things were important, technically. I deleted a tumblr I barely used or looked at; a place where I would start to write a post, get cold feet, and then leave it in the drafts until I no longer wanted to do anything with it. That's all it was, a graveyard to things I was never going to complete, ideas I'd given up on, plans I never followed through with.

But still, the day they rip the memorial down is still sad, and you'll forever walk by that lamp post and remember that, at one point, there were flowers here.

So I guess I just... use this how I used to use the internet: like a diary. I was once a dedicated blogger, back in the days when being a "blogger" had some sort of caché (I think if you said that now, someone would assume you were using some sort of throwback term, like asking aloud if anyone knew of a video store they could check out. Are there any video stores left? I don't know, and I don't feel like googling right now). I wanted to be a writer, a blogger, I wanted to be like all the cool teens I followed who had custom webpages with sections where they'd post about their thoughts and other sections for cool things they did with their friends. I wanted to be their friend and be posted on their cool blog! But this was the early 2000s, where the only way to contact these people was to either stalk a forum they might be on, or email them directly, and both of those always felt unappealing. So instead, I wrote about my life and my friends, read my friends blogs, hoped to be cool enough to be included. Hundreds of posts, stories and essays and quiz results and absolutely atrocious poetry, we wrote so much, I wrote so much. And all of it is gone, now. Blogs long deleted, websites no longer active, everything lost to digital decay. Or, if you're me, you delete your tumblr by accident while massively tired and only realise too late what you've done. More decay, more insignificant pieces of the web burned away. I'm the only one who cares, but that's fine. I can... rebuild. Or just use this space for my own terrible navel gazing.

I write a lot. I have a fair amount of published work, but I also write a lot that never sees the light of day (and probably never should, mostly for quality control issues). I spent a lot of nights writing Parkdale Haunt, a lot of very late evenings hammering out page after page after page until my eyes hurt and my brain was trying to escape my skull, but it felt good. It was a good time. There's several episodes where I wrote the first draft in a complete haze, like when you're running a marathon (NOTE: I have never run a marathon, but like, stick with me here, I'm just extrapolating from my time as a long distance runner) (SECOND NOTE: I hated long distance running and quit to focus on sprinting and hurdling, which I loved, because sprinting is designed for people who want all their endorphins RIGHT NOW and hurdling is designed for masochists, and the 400m hurdles is the perfect race if you just want to punish yourself for any feeling of hubris that you've ever had in your entire curséd life) and you're just zoning out and pushing through any thought you might have that says hey man, what if you just - oh, I don't know - lied down on that patch of grass over there? Yeah, that would be sick as fuck. Writing feels like that for me sometimes, like hey, wouldn't it be nice to just go to bed? Yeah, bed is good. But then I would look down and there'd be 15 pages in front of me, and I'd feel... great. And also exhausted and vaguely headachy, but great. Then I would just spam Emily and/or Ian with screenshots of scenes at random times. Being in my vicinity means you're getting unhinged screenshots at some point.

So I've been writing again. I've got two scripts going for a new show, here's to hoping it works out. And I guess I can write here when I need/want to procrastinate. I don't have much of a footprint left after I threw my fucking shoes in the ocean.

All this has done is made me miss hurdling.

#blog post #parkdale haunt #sure

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chut-je-dors · 1 year

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gotta say, I sometimes wonder if I should delete my tumblr and disappear, in a way that I'd still be on tumblr, just without anyone knowing it's good ole Chut. Still be writing and such, but... quietly. It's the weight of knowing there are a ton of people waiting for the next chapter of my fics, and I can't shake the... pressure I get from all of that. God, I love everyone's comments and kudos as much as any writer, and writing stories that so many seem to love, but there's just so much pressure in it as well. If I post a new fic, people will go "oh Chut posted something new, it's gonna be goooood" and with that presumption I can't write anything but good. Over and over again I seem to manage to create something people praise, without really seeing the greatness myself. I guess it's part impostor syndrome - I'm still waiting for when people realise I really am not that good a writer, even though I'm gradually learning to ignore the perfectionist in me.

All in all, sometimes I think it would be easier to shake off the follower count, and just blog for myself. I've learnt the hard way to not share much of my opinions here, since it'll get noticed. I love receiving asks, but i often forget answering them straight away and then there are 300 of them and then I feel bad for not answering them - and if Chut didn't have a tumblr (that people know about), I couldn't disappoint anyone in that way. Does that make any sense?

Chut-je-dors is a name that's known by most who read mclennon fics (?) and it's just, it's a lot. I also sometimes wonder what would happen if I wrote under a different pseudonym. The fic wouldn't probably get that many hits, since I'm pretty sure half of the hits in my fics are because I'm a "popular" writer. It would be liberating I think - no pressure of delivering anything that fits the "Chut-je-dors" box. I miss the days of writing the Hot Mechanic, with no rules, no pressure over the quality of writing or storytelling - just plain wackiness with no predecessor. Now, when I'm writing The Hot Spot, it has to live up to the other entries in the Hot Series. There's a lack of freedom in it - the text has to be funny, whereas before it was funny because I was completely unhinged, and had an absolute blast, and had absolutely no plans. No one knew me, and didn't base their opinions of THM on how I've "once again" delivered "such an amazing fic" etc. People like THM because of the fic itself.

The more popular and "good" fics I write, the more the pressure to deliver what people expect from my fics grows.

(And don't get me wrong, I want to write good and deliver good stuff, for my own sake as well. I love writing, and I love writing stuff I can read a year after and go "ahh this is good stuff". But the pressure of writing well for other people's sake overshadows the desire to write just for myself.)

(A part of all this is the language gap, cos my god, I write good in English but I write so much better in Finnish, and I'm always aware of what my text is lacking in English. Maybe I should write the fics in Finnish and translate them to English afterwards but lads, imagine the Work)

(After I lost my home in a house fire in 2020, and suffered a burnout and depression etc. all that stuff, the quality of my writing understandably dipped, and someone immediately noticed it and commented on it. Well, I've struggled with writing ever since. Always second-guessing whether what I'm writing is good, because I don't want to - or can - let my readers down. And now, I rarely write anymore, partly due to not having enough time, partly because I never feel like I'm doing good enough. I can take criticism, it's not about that - it's a comment that hit me hard at a point where I was just trying to produce text, any text, despite how hard it was, struggling with the trauma left by me losing all of my belongings, and knowing the writing wasn't probably good enough, but deciding to post still just to give people something, and then that comment - it hit right in the spot of insecurity that then manifested fully, and now whatever I write I feel it doesn't live up to, say 2019 writings. And thus I can't write at all, crippled by that insecurity.)

So yeah. Sounds probably silly, me whining away that "I'm too popular as a writer" but... well. Well. It's been 10 years since THM came out. Ten fucken years! It was the second fic I wrote under Chut-je-dors (the first being ThighGHGHGS, an absolute Legend of a fic written by an unhinged 15 year old) and I'm still partly trying to live up to it. THM cemented me as a popular mclennon author in this fandom, and I've had to live up to that mantel ever since with everything I write. Ten years!

(There's no point in any of this, no set resolution, I'm just rambling some thoughts away into the tumblr void)

(Don't get me wrong: I love each and every comment I receive and I'm so thankful people like my fics. These are issues that live inside my head, and they don't affect the gratitude I have that people still, after all these years, love my fics. That's all an author could ask for. Perhaps that is the core of the issue; I love making you guys happy with my fics, so much that I can't bear the thought of giving you something below my usual level of writing. Hm, a double-edged sword)

Anyway. That's some thoughts for now!

#oops this is longer than I thought #also ramblier #whoops #oh well #Very Open For Further Discussion #cjd rambles #choo choo all aboard the chut insecurity train #I'm not rereading this. press enter and send.#as they say.... yolo

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fluffykitteninabox · 1 year

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I never blamed Dabi for using the footage of Hawks killing Twice, but I also wonder what was Hawks supposed to do after offering Twice a chance to surrender, besides offering asylum for the rest of his friends as well since that was the main reason Twice rejected his offer?

This is coming from someone who only watched the anime adaptation, so I would like to know why this event is a setback for Hawks character development.

Hi, thank you for the ask🥰🥰

here, have some sparkles ✨✨✨

Also sorry in advance but I ramble a lot and...

I don't know if there's an equivalent phrase in English but in Greek we say "Μέσω Λαμίας" when we do something in the most inefficient way possible.

This is me in this post! 😂 (and also Hawks too in a way👀)

Also I'm not a meta blog so I don't always have a conclusion when I start responding and I might realise something new mid way through typing and then I go back and edit stuff because I change my mind so...

hopefully this makes sense

First of all I do agree that this is the main reason Twice rejected the offer, but probably not the only one.

I think the two "requirements" for his offer to work would be

Hawks extending the offer to not just Twice, but to the other LOV members as well

Convince Twice that this offer is genuine and he's not just lying to him

And that second one is kind of hard to do because Hawks gave their location away to the heroes who are currently ambushing them and he's also attacking Twice specifically. Plus Twice had been let down by heroes and society itself in the past (as have all the other league members) so it would be hard for him to trust that this "chance at rehabilitation" isn't at best going to fail, or at worst a trick.

And I don't think Hawks meets either of these two requirements. I'm not saying he's lying when he offers to help Twice. It's more like... he can't actually do what he's promising here.

The commission gave Hawks the order to kill Twice, not bring him for rehab. So in his mind that option wasn't possible from the start. He entered the battle knowing how it would have to end. That's why he wastes a bunch time by explaining himself to Twice, he doesn't want to do it.

If Hawks doesn't offer help to Twice, then there's also the option of simply arresting him without talking to him at all. (Then they would have probably placed him in Tartarus, because other people would have witnessed his arrest and the commission definitely wouldn't want people to know they give heroes assassination missions.)

I pointed it out in some posts here and there, but Hawks very clearly had the upper hand in the battle right up until the moment Dabi joined. The scene starts with Twice already pinned down to the ground surrounded by Hawks' feathers. Even when he starts making clones to fight, we see that Hawks doesn't need to put much effort to destroy them. He almost doesn't move from his spot at the door at all before Dabi comes in. He could have very easily knocked him unconscious and taken him quietly. We know he is physically capable of doing all of that.

But again, Hawks went into this with the predetermined notion that anything other than killing Twice wouldn't work.

So in this case Hawks had other options technically speaking, but he thought he didn't because of the way the HPSC have conditioned him to follow their orders. When Dabi joins the battle Hawks loses the control he had over the situation.

He could stand still before and let his feathers do the work, now he has to dodge Dabi's attacks.

He had Twice immobilised on the floor, now he escapes literally from under him.

He was wasting time before, but now he needs to find a way to end this quickly.

So he does what he was ordered to do in the first place.

All of this to say that Hawks had plenty of other options, but also no other option at the same time!

Twice's death was a tragedy because it could have very easily been prevented, but it was also inevitable.

Hawks had the ability to make other options, he's not like the nomu, he has free will. It was his own choice to kill in the end. But because of the way he was groomed by the commission in his mind there was only one option.

----------------------------------------

Now about the second point..

I don't think Hawks' decision to kill Twice was bad for his character development. In fact I always thought Twice's death was a great direction for the story to go. It creates conflict which makes things interesting.

My problem is that this very interesting plot point wasn't used to its full potential afterwards.

We don't see Hawks thinking about his decision, whether or not he could have done things differently. We don't see him regret it. Again I have said in some other posts that I (personally) didn't even need Hawks to regret killing Twice specifically. I would have been happy to see him struggle with his decision to kill a person in general. He took someone's life, I think he should have been more affected by it. But by some of his lines in the latest chapters it seems like he didn't struggle with that at all. (I'm keeping it vague because you said you only watched the anime and I don't want to spoil you, even if it's just a couple of lines)

This didn't just affect Hawks' character arc, he's just the worst case because his character arc was stopped in its tracks.

Imagine Twice's death as Chekhov's gun in a way, but it's for character growth. And then Hori brought some bullets to shoot but forgot the actual gun! Twice died and we saw how that affected the villains (and not even all of them) but we didn't see how it affected the heroes.

We never got to see Tomura's reaction to losing another member of the league (when we saw him avenging Magne in the Overhaul arc)

Dabi asks Tokoyami "who do you think really needs saving?" and Tokoyami never thinks about that ever again.

Hawks kills a man and then proceeds to never think about it again (except to publicly acknowledge the fact)

Also Hawks is used in the Todoroki family side plot a lot after the war, which in my opinion is a bit forced. I think it would be more interesting to see him separately from his parasocial relationship with Endeavor. He was already lacking in the self identification department because of how the commission groomed him, I was hoping he would separate from them after the war. Not only does he not do that, he also latches onto Endeavor and is now only a tool to push his atonement arc forward. And he doesn't even do a good job doing that! (Again keeping this kind of vague, hopefully I didn't accidentally spoil anything you don't already know)

Basically I wanted to see more of his internal conflict. I wanted to see him struggle I WANTED ANGST AAAAAA!! 😂😂

Hopefully we're going to get that now with the inevitable Hawks vs Toga, but this will still be external conflict caused by his actions. I still think it would work much better if we saw his thought process before he gets narrative consequences.

#ask #responding to these is really fun #i can freely ramble and rant about the things i like or don't like and i get to talk with people #thank you again for the ask #😊✨✨✨#hawks #takami keigo #krista answers

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a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,141 times in 2022

That's 707 more posts than 2021!

55 posts created (2%)

3,086 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rabbitindisguise

@a-boros-named-seamus

@ussmysterymachine

@vaspider

@asexual-thot

I tagged 139 of my posts in 2022

#goncharov - 21 posts

#unreality - 21 posts

#mechwarrior - 10 posts

#mechwarrior 5 - 8 posts

#battletech - 8 posts

#twitch - 6 posts

#youtube - 5 posts

#yes the hell jehan's whales - 3 posts

#skyrim - 3 posts

#worldbuilding - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#the look on the blue suns face when the way they find out they didnt get archangel is him offing papparazzi on the citadel...

My Top Posts in 2022:

I would be Conan Doyle's favourite sort of fan. "Sherlock who? Now about Professor Challenger..."

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle jumps off the Q&A stage, runs down the aisle, and kisses me full on the mouth.

16 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

What pronouns does the Faerie Knight use?

Sidhe/They

18 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

Please friend, tell your tale. What earned you your position as The Guy?

So I went from being home schooled directly to university and joined a historical reenactment group in my second semester. It quickly became roughly ninety percent of my identity. I routinely wore my non-combat kit everywhere. Tunic, trews, and most importantly a giant fuck-off cloak.

I, of course, did not realize I was The Guy until an acquaintance of mine came into the pub I was drinking in and excited bought me a pint because one of his friends had mentioned seeing "The guy in the cloak" in town, and my buddy was able to go "I know that guy! I'm friends with him!"

I also, one semester, regularly showed up to lectures in armour (In my defence. The lecture ended when the training session started. And it's easier to wear maille than carry it)

32 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Something tells me that either the U.S. Army has never watched M*A*S*H, or has COMPLETELY MISSED THE POINT.

And either of those seem to me to be equally likely.

36 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So because I have had a hyperfixation on Scandinavian history 700AD to 1300AD for about a decade and a half now, consistent like. And have been coming back to the Temeraire books all regular like for about the same span. I have decided to share some headcanons/AU worldbuilding for the role of Dragons in Norse society.

So. The generally accepted theory is that dragon-handling was introduced to the Proto-Norse by the Romans. Because the setting is similar enough to the real world that we aren't getting rid of that 'radiation of civilization' bullshit. Especially not before the Napoleonic War.

However. My headcanon is that it happened slightly differently, and I have come up with some ways to have evidence that both supports my headcanons but is obscure enough for the “The Romans did it” theory to be the dominant one at least as far as the novels.

Specifically having the Romans theory contradicted by several manuscripts of Snorri's "Heimskringla", and an Icelandic manuscript of uncertain provenance (But probably also fucking Snorri because everything is) entitled "Sigurds Saga Fafnirsbani" which would be an alternative text of the Volsungasaga or Nibelungenlied. The texts would diverge in the sequence immediately following the death of Fafnir.

In the germanic texts, Regin the smith instructs Sigurd to cook Fafnirs heart but not to eat it. Depending on the version Sigurd either burns his fingers on the heart and sticks them in his mouth, gaining the wisdom Regin intended to obtain by eating the heart and coincidentally realising the smith plans on betraying him. Or is warned of the impending treachery by a grey-cloaked old man who happens to be wandering nearby and may or may only have the one eye. (This is how the story goes IRL)

In the Icelandic text (invented for this AU by yours truly), amongst the treasures of Fafnir is a large egg, and Regin instructs Sigurd to wake him if the egg shows signs of hatching as neither of them them have the skill to destroy the egg before it hatches and only Regin has the lore to slay the hatchling, as he had the lore to instruct Sigurd as to how to slay Fafnir

Regin then goes to sleep, at which point our nameless old hobo ambles past, stops, and goes "You ken your friend is lying through his teeth, aye?" before explaining the Regin intends to bind the hatchling to his will, before murdering Sigurd and conquering the north with a tame Dragon. But. Says the creepy old man, who appears to know things he really shouldn't. If you let Regin sleep, and when the egg hatches, you feed the hatchling and give it a name, it will be willing to bind it's fate to yours. Anyway. Food for thought. Says the old man. And then wanders off.

Long story short, Sigurd ends up with a harnessed dragon (Scandinavia’s first), Regin ends up with several feet of steel through his spine, and the sagas converge again, because having a dragon doesn't do you a lot of good if you don't have the sense god gave little green apples, but do have the insight check of a golden retriever puppy. (For those who aren’t familiar with the saga, Sigurd gets engaged, then drugged and forced to marry someone else, and while under the influence of said drugs is also forced into tricking his ex-fiancee into marrying his brother-in-law instead of him. It starts a blood feud that lasts about three generations and only ends when everyone related to anyone involved is dead. But that isn’t important here.)

Sigurd’s “success“ starts a trend of Norse magnates harnessing dragons, and a linking of the Udal (land) Rights with the support of Dragons. Specifically, amongst a Landowner's Udal rights, they include the right to dictate who on their land was permitted to support a dragon. (Also, a bunch of responsibilities regarding any harnessed dragons supported under their Udal rights)

Now because the Udal Rights (And the titles and land that go with them) are so closely tied to dragons, the Udal Right is entailed on the Magnate's Dragon, and on the Magnate's death, passes to the heir selected by the Dragon as partner. The fact that dragons basically control the inheritance of noble titles makes the relationship between the Norse and their dragons more of a partnership than you find elsewhere in Europe.

However this leads directly to the start of the Viking period as there are only so many Udal Rights available. So you end up with Dragon-riders who have no landrights of their own, and thus have to do something to make it palatable for someone who does have Udal Rights to permit them to support themselves off said magnates land. Obviously the solution is to provide expensive gifts while simultaneously requiring as little support as necessary. And oh, look. England isn't far. And it's rich. And it doesn't have many dragons, and those they do have are smaller and less invested.

My. That's a lovely monastery you have there, Lindisfarne. Be a shame if someone were to happen to it.

But everything changes when the fire nation Ragnar Lodbrok attacks shows up.

As in Ragnars Saga Lodbrokkar, Ragnar marries a princess who is descended from Sigurd Fafnirsbani

Unlike real world Ragnars Saga he does not kill the Dragon guarding her. As it happens to be Sigurds Dragon. Instead he convinces it to become his companion.

He makes the argument that as said Dragon was a key part of instituting the draconic elements of Udal Rights, and Udal Rights are conferred by the Dragon they are entailed upon, he has Udal Rights to all of Norway.

This a bullshit claim and not widely accepted, but he is able to sway enough magnates that it is never conclusively struck down, even if he never manages to enforce it.

But it sets a precedent.

Said precedent is latched onto by Harald Shaggy, who does manage to enforce it. With much bloodshed and strife. He then buys himself a comb, and hires a barber, and changes his cognomen to Fairhair. The bastard.

Now we have a problem. Because we have a nation full of dragons that are used to agency, and aren't too pleased at being forced to yield it to some upstart Christsman who was fostered in DENMARK, of all places. And one full of magnates who are used to being big fish in a medium pond and don't take too kindly to becoming medium fish in a big pond. But what's a good pagan dragon or ormscarl to do? Fairhair has the backing of a bunch of converts, traitors and sellouts, as well as the Danes and the English, and some of the Swedes, and the Saami, knowing which side of their bread does not have punitive campaigns marching over it, are staying decidedly neutral.

The answer? Fuck off to Iceland and found a new country! A Better Country! With Blackjack! And Hookers! And no centralized authority! And Votes For Dragons (STEP IN TIME!)

Of course, Iceland isn’t known for it’s forests, and eventually their boats start to fall apart, and Haakon the Good and St. Olaf show up with their Christianity and Organized Church and Monarchy, and treaties that they don’t even honour for a year, and everything falls apart.

The decline of the Icelandic Commonwealth actually happens slower. The dragons mean they’re less dependent on boats for fishing and whaling, although trade still suffers. Too, the shift to Christianity being the state religion takes longer, as dragons making impassioned speeches about “The faith of our fathers” and “Isn’t this why we left Norway in the first place” are impossible to ignore, if only because they’re so loud.

But it does happen, and the same trend of slowly tightening the restrictions on the pagan faiths until they are practically impossible to practice occurs. The Icelandic Diocese also does it’s very best to get rid of this pesky “Dragons are people, actually” thing these Icelanders seem to have come up with, a campaign aided by the fact that property in Iceland steadily ends up being held by the church (or church aligned families, me here, glowering at the Sturlissons), so most of the people well-enough off to support a Dragon are closely tied to the diocese.

HOWEVER! Dragons are long-lived, and more than capable of holding grudges, and in some of the more remote parts of Iceland, and some of the offlying islands and Skerries, dwell families that remember the old ways Some of them hold Gothi, or priest-rights, and eventually these end up being passed to their Dragons because it means they’re more likely to keep the traditions correctly. These families and their dragons are effectively a secret society, probably responsible for a pretty hefty chunk of North Atlantic piracy, and can be relied upon to meddle anytime it can inconvenience the Powers That Be.

Anyway, this got away from me a bit, so...

63 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I love how my top post for this year is my magnum opus on Viking Dragons #Maybe next year I'll pick a saga and adapt it for NaNo

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brainwashingyou · 2 years

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How to write a disaster on modern social media.

This is my second blog, it's been a lot if fun running it and I've met some life long friends and my forever here because of this space. That being said, I find things here and within social media and general media quite toxic, unfortunate, and a relative echo chamber of harmful things.

This doesn't absolve me of anything especially within a small community such as hypnosis. Above all I've been fooling myself why I have this blog. I've been lying to everyone even myself about what this has been and who it was for, a narcissistic desire that I couldn't recognize.

With that I realise I'm been subverting and supporting things that don't make me happy. 2/3rds of my followers kinda

1. Are not active

2. Do not have your best interest in mind. I'm even guilty of this. (I'm leaning how to unfuck myself.

3. I don't relate too

There's so many bad actors in the tumblr hypnosis community. I've been vocally quiet about a lot that goes on to keep the purity of this blog, I've learned that I can no longer in good conscious keep supporting a lot of that behavior and that the content I've been re-blogging encourages to everyone out there.

WAIT FOR IT!! HERE COMES THE DEEP DIVIDE!

This is going to enrage lots of people, but I'm at the point that I frankly don't give a flip. I'm tired of SISSIES. You are relentless, you never cease, and rarely apologize for your obscene behavior. I hope that you take an honest look at yourself and those who you open your mind to and give it some critical thought. Maybe even consult a propper therapist? Please before you dig into this kind of rabbit hole talk to someone who can be objective to help you make a choice.

What's the next worse thing in my opinion? HERE IS WHERE LOSE ALMOST ALL MY FOLLOWER. But again, I don't really care what you think anymore especially if you've read up to this point you probably know its going to get even more disastrous.

Feminism, misogyny, matriarchy and patriarchy extremes have destroyed the very nature of our humanity.

I hate misogyny. Women are amazing and you should love a woman for her being a woman. Not a man for trying to replace woman. Celebrate her, her femininity. I'm saying this as a straight hetero man whos not confused about the differences bewteen Men and Women. (Oh dear I said it, better burn down house!)

Patriarchy and feminists... this will be an earful from everyone. You're probably already getting engaged that I dared to put the two words together. Doesn't that already suggest that you are handling the situation wrong? Anger is a secondary emotion, so what's the root cause for why you're so angry?

Equality for everyone? Absolutely! Not understanding why its not "equal " thats arrogance and negligence. If you put yourself in an echo chamber you will never understand disparity to its fullest or why. Don't be so closed minded that you shun something because the perceived majority doesn't like it. This is me telling you to use your brain and so some research.

If you're some irreverent feminist who loves misogynistic porn, maybe, just maybe there's a middle ground that opens your eyes to something not so extreme in both ways but a healthy middle ground that encourages both to grow. Not only for youself but for the others around you and your SO who is choosing to spend their life with you.

So this blog is slowly coming to an end for me. Throughout the last 5 years its been an experience, positive and negative.

There's so much more to say but i think this will infuriate enough people that my popularity will be ruined, and that's fine with me.

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moonswolfie · 6 months

Note

Hi Wolfie!! I've been following you for a while now, and I absolutely adore your works! (I hope you don't mind having me here 😓) I was wondering if we could get our beloved Omi-Omi + 8 & 9 for your follower event, with fem reader :3 Omi's just a confused, silly little guy with feelings he can't really explain- and he's just so lovable nwjshiwjdksdhsjshwjw

(ohh, btw do you think it can be timeskip version, where reader is the manager for MSBY BJ/National's team? 😋)

That's all!! Take your time, take care and stay healthy!! 🫶

MSBY!Kiyoomi x manager!fem!reader

Ahhh choco you're so sweet you got me giggling in my room at 12 pm😭😭 i'm actually very excited to write this one in particular!! it's fine for you to follow me and like my stuff, don't worry

it feels a bit strange actually recieving this many asks, this must be how a popular blog feels ( •̀ ω •́ )

"Great. We're locked in." Sakusa sighed after pulling on the door handle, the door refusing to budge.

The thing you probably least expected to happen today is being locked in a room with Sakusa Kiyoomi, the one player in the MSBY Black Jackals who disliked you.

"Do you have your phone on you?" He asked, annoyance showing in his voice. You checked your pockets, quickly realising you forgot your phone on the office desk. You groaned, cursing under your breath.

He realised the same thing as you, also cursing himself out internally for somehow forgetting to charge his phone this morning.

"When do the others come back?" You could sense the impatience and discomfort in his voice, sighing silently to yourself. Of course, neither of you were happy to be locked in a room with no way out, but the fact that it's you he's trapped with must make it even worse for him.

Somehow, it hurts you immensely that the two can't seem to get along. You know that it's just like that with some people in life, but why Kiyoomi of all people? A player that you have to interact with a lot as a manager, a player who's... kind of hot...

No! This is weird! Why would you think that for even a second?!

"...Are you going to answer me?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!- I don't know!!" You stammered out, embarrased at your own thoughts even though you knew he couldn't read them.

He furrowed his brows at you slightly before sitting down on a chair in the room, making sure to dust it off beforehand. He muttered something under his breath that you vaguely registered as a curse word.

Oh, he hates you that much.

You swallowed your spit, not knowing what to do yourself. You sat down on the floor, placing your arms on your knees in anticipation of an uncomfortable time.

"Don't sit on the floor. Sit here." His suggestion surprised you, looking up at him to find him pointing to the chair next to him.

You did so silently, not wanting to make him annoyed or angry. God, this was the most awkward you've felt since confessing to your crush back in middle school. You glanced over at him, and he looked to be deep in thought.

You couldn't tell what his expression was like exactly because of his mask, and you had a feeling that you've been looking at him for far too long anyways.

"I'm going to regret this later." He said quietly, and before you could even question what he meant by that, he was sliding his mask down his face and pulling you closer by the waist. Wait... what?!

You had no time to think about what was happening because before you knew it, his lips gently pressed against yours. You made a noise of surprise, slightly muffled by his lips.

He pulled away far too soon, making you whine lowly. He looked away.

"I'm sorry. I usually think things through well, but I-"

"I liked it!!! I liked it a lot!!" That was the only thing you could say right now, still in a state of shock. But he hated you?! What in the world...

He simply hummed in response. He himself doesn't know what came over him there. He's always been distant towards you since you made him feel something weird, something new. He felt a little too safe and comfortable around you, despite you becoming the manager only a few short months ago.

And it bothered him to no end, considering his cautious nature. Up until now, ignoring it was the best route. But being trapped in a room with you for god knows how long made something snap within him.

It made the feelings he tried to desperately supress bubble up.

And you took it... well. Almost as if you felt the same way.

"Oh my god..." you groaned into your hands, feeling very overwhelmed with emotions yourself. And you're going to be trapped in a room with him... for how much longer?

Join the event HERE

Omi's hubby tag🍈: @melonnmiru

#˗ˏˋ ★ ☁︎ 「Wolfie’s works」 ☾ ★ ˎˊ˗#sakusa imagines #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu sakusa #msby sakusa #msby #sakusa x y/n #sakusa x you #sakusa kiyoomi x you

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

Note

Hello lovely jen, its been a while since ive been active on tumblr and its safe to say i did not remember much of what I left here but i had my following list to help me remember what my interests and favs were before i decided to leave tmblr.. and while i was going over my list and catching up with the long list of amazing authers and fics, i came across Velvet cherry, and then I remembered all over again, why I followed you in the first place why seeing your username made me feel happy and a wave of relief washing over me, I am currently trying to read all of your works new and old, but I'm specifically here to confess my love and admiration to velvet cherry... not one sec, did my heart stop thumbing against my chest, every word gave me some sort of emotion not once did I got distracted I felt myself completely and utterly devoted to the world you've created and I loved every second of it, and I think that's the biggest accomplishment a fic could ever achieve, to make its reader so invested and devoted and I believe you've done an amazing job on bringing justice to the storyline, characters everything. I am here to support you and I really really wish you enjoy writing just as much as I enjoy reading it, Thank you for being so amazing, and talented and sweet and just talented 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I just love you okay if you didn't realise already (that is)😁😁

thank you so so much for this, i don't know if i can properly tell you just how much i appreciated this message.

i'm glad that you're back on tumblr again, and i'm beyond happy that you remember who i am :') the fact that you took the time to write me this means the world to me, and you guys always me feel so grateful to have a community like this full of wonderful people who are so much kinder to me than i deserve. it's what makes my tumblr experience so worthwhile and comforting.

i think this message came at a perfect time too. i might even call it divine intervention hahaha. i teared up reading this, because last night i came kinda close to deactivating, which is ironic because 1) what i just said about loving my community here and 2) yesterday was this blog's 1 year anniversary and 3) this is one of the things that bring me the most joy. so i guess this is just what i needed. hearing (or reading would be more correct hahaha) you say that seeing my username made you happy and relieved is probably one of the best things anyone has said. just the fact you remember me is already enough to make my whole day.

honestly i don't even know what i'm trying to say. i guess the point is that i love you and there is so much love to be passed around here even though all of us are quite literally strangers and i'm thankful that you think i deserve any of that love and i'm thankful that you're reading my writing and giving me a chance :')

#i'm sorry if i don't make sense hahahah i'm all over the place rn #re: velvet cherry #anon #answered #💌

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unravellingbeforeyou · 2 years

Text

Finding It.

The point. I go to grab the remote control to turn the TV off so I can write this. I want a secret cell, a place to live where I can just be and write freely. I am a man. I work hard. I want to believe that I am a good person. But is that it? This year I have experienced a lot of things that have been extraordinary - all time goals ticked off .. This I'm lead to believe should really be the peak of my life. But I battle everyday against a constant wall of distrust in myself. The knowing that I have evil running through my bones. Genuinely frightened by what I think.

Recently I went for a walk whilst nursing a heavy one. I'm not sure why I wanted to walk but the energy was just there within me, I told myself to "Find the sea", Where we were staying was about a mile maybe two from the sea. I knew this because we had a poor BBQ there the night before. Was a great experience. Anyway.. I'm walking headphones on. Sandals. Shirt loose. I saw the long blue strip of Navy in the distance - I reach the road that takes me there. There. However unlike the night before - I took a trail of that I still recon would lead me to the seafront. I follow the trail. It lead me to something I think was probably the most dangerous and most beautiful spot I've ever been. It was a barbed wire laden wooden fence and the other side of which was about a metres worth of grassy ledge. Then a full vertical cliff. Drench in overgrown trees. Of course outstretched right before me was the English channel resplendent in deep summer morning sun. The light lighting a direct white chasm from the sky directly to me. Glorious.

I look down. Stoney rocks. 200 ft. "Do it."

I obviously didn't. But that voice was so clear. The wine coaxing me to believe it, almost trust it. I would of died happy. At least high. I could feel death. Haunting. I wanted some. It amazed me how clear everything came in that moment, almost peaceful. I don't know if I will get that chance again to die in such a glorious place again, spiritually in a really good place. Anyway I sat down took in the views and tried to just breath. My life is very non stop and I rarely stop to reset or anything. Even in this moment I pick up the phone and ring. A nice conversation, slightly disappointed. I really tried to convey the beauty of where I was and the thoughts that had just run through my head. Maybe the message got through. I ended the phone call and returned to listening to my favourite music. The best, you know the ones that make you jump out your skin with excitement, the ones that make your heart ache that the song has to finish. I realise that I should get back to the men. A big day ahead. When...

I felt death again.

Something touched me from the back. I snap and crawl like a baby back to the fence. There was nothing there. But I fought it. For a split second I put all my energy into staying alive. It was invigorating. "THANK GOD I'M ALIVE." (Bat for lashes). "Thank God". We all say it. But I learnt in that moment that I do want to be here. Despite the evil that runs though my head. Ignorant of how I'd spent the previous hour. I fought. Whatever that feeling was, I didn't want to end up on those rocks. Splayed. Outplayed - giving in. Scary though, one bad thought, anything could of happened. I never felt more alive walking back - senses heightened. Maybe I had found it? The reason, it's to fight say "No I am strong". I am here and I am not stopping until I fulfil everything I want to fulfil no matter how small and thankless an idea or dream that is. But what if your ideas and dreams are big? Then maybe you have to fight harder. Its so simple. Don't give up. Never give up.

This blog is my secret cell. Where I will be evil as well as heavenly.

#mental health #tumblog #introductory post #introducing myself #character intro #bat for lashes #seascapes #ocean #the search

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kanmom51 · 2 years

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Hi and I want to apologies in advance for my long ass question that pretty much comes with an introduction, but I want to give some context to it.

So… for starters I´m not an “official shipper” or someone that searches jikook intentionally, if I come across the content I think “aww that’s cute” “I love how they make each other happy” and that’s pretty much it. Being a 100% honest I’m biased towards Jimin, I respect and support all of them but my love for Jimin is just something else, so much that I don’t really have a bias wrecker, I even entered the fandom after I saw that famous “7 second clip” of him. But having him as your bias inevitably leaves you coming across JK sooner or later and of course there is a soft spot in my hearth for him, because why wouldn’t I?, he clearly is someone special to Jimin, ofc I don’t know the exact nature of their bond whenever it’s as friends, brothers, lovers or whatever BUT is something that is making my bias happy, so it makes me happy. I mean… he took him on a trip, exercises with him, check’s on him at his hotel room 3 times a day, emotionally supports him ( complementing him, calling him hard worker, on the ONU speech incident, etc) I’m realizing as I write this, that I do sound like a shipper, just by knowing all of that, but you don’t even need to ship them to know those things, you don’t have to search or “plot” to know, it’s right there in your face, I know because I never miss anything related to Jimin and those things happened and they did with JK.

The reason I came across your blog was bc after looking into the hate Jimin was getting on twitter from either other ships with JK or JK solo (y/n) stans I’m trying to understand why. It’s like everyone it’s ok as long it’s not Jimin, dear lord forbids Jimin breaths near him cuz he is Begging for attention, which lead me for the first time in my life to intentionally look for jikook as maybe something more, cuz I’m from Mexico and as people in here say “si el rio suena es porque agua lleva” or “If the river sounds it’s because there must be some water on it”, so… the question is basically why for so many people it can be anyone but Jimin? all of them getting pressed and with their veins close to explode got me second guessing, because why to get angry with something that is not a threat? Another thing I’m coming across its that people treats JK as if he was the ultimate price or jackpot that no one deserves, specially not Jimin and frankly that offends me, I almost feel like a mother LOL, like what its wrong with my son? Why wouldn’t he be more than enough for your son if that was the case Karen?

Oh anon, you asked me a couple of questions and without even realising it answered them both in your own ask.

I'm happy to hear how someone that isn't a Jikook shipper or supporter per say not only recognizes the clear as day special connection those two have, but is also willing to say it out loud.

And just like you see it and recognize just how much these two are linked, where JM is there will many times be "a JK" there or following or around, others see it too, and it bugs the hell out of them.

“si el rio suena es porque agua lleva” or “If the river sounds it’s because there must be some water”

Exactly!!! I love that saying anon. Kind of like “if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck”.

People love to ship. They love to play pretend that two hunky idols are together, but this is as long as they aren't really queer, as long as they look good placed next to each other, but hell, they aren't really in a queer real live relationship.

It's funny how some shippers fight so hard for their ship, while these ships are unattainable, the two members are distant, and they love to play the hidden card. I wonder what would happen to the popularity of said ship if those same two idols were to exhibit the same behaviour that JM & JK do.

As you said, many perceive JK as a lottery grand prize, one they think they have chance in winning some day (someone needs to tell them what the chances to win the lottery are, lol). JK is the golden maknae. He was built up as such by the company and his band mates. He's good looking, he's multitalented, he's hunky manly, the wet dream for every girl with eyes in her head. And JM, well to these people JM is ruining him. How dare he 'turn' their manly man JK. JM is the seducer, in a way, the competition. And none of this would matter if they didn't see what we all do, that JK would rather be with JM than anyone else. That JK looks at JM like he's the most wonderful thing in the world. That JK adores JM. That JK looks at JM like these people only dream he would look at them.

JK&JM are too real. If it was only a close friendship I think people wouldn't be acting the way they are towards JM. But they have eyes, and as much as they scream blue murder that it's only queerbaiting and fanservice, they know. And because they know, that's why they are so vile and hateful towards JM. JM threatens them. He threatens their JK fantasy. JK can't be queer, and JM, well JM being there with JK, JK being there with JM, the way they are with each other, the way they look at each other, act around each other, that brings down the fantasy. It's kind of like, in their twisted way of thinking, JM is 'the other woman', but even worse, because he's 'the other man', which would, god forbid it, make JK queer, and how can that be, their masculine manly man JK queer???? Clearly, JM's to blame for that, right?

#ask #anon

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