#and i think im allowed to be a little sad abt it
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i have a weird relationship w the way i look bc on the one hand luckily i don't have very bad dysphoria, i don't get it abt a lot of stuff and it's not smth that's constant either i'm very lucky that way. but also. i know that w my body and my face and my voice i am never going to look a way that makes other people perceive me as what i am and that feels. really bad. but also i don't deserve to feel bad abt that bc i have features that are conventionally attractive. but also i hate them
#its not even that i want to change myself for the most part. its that i wish i could change how other people read those parts of me#the only thing i wish i could change is my chest and having periods and thats partially bc its inconvenient#almost everything else is habitual. clothes/hair/the way i walk and move/etc#but just. the second people hear me talk they read me as a woman and it makes me want to fucking scream#and i have a v round 'feminine' face so like. its that x2. i get read as a teenage girl all the fucking time#and i like those things abt myself!! i like my voice and the way i look#i wish people just. wouldnt assume at all. i wish i could fucking confuse them actually i wish they couldnt tell anything#as a kid i read a lot of 'girl dresses as a boy to do xyz' and i always loved those stories#not bc i /wanted to be/ a boy (trust me ive fuckin questioned that lmao) but bc like. the freedom to pick and move around between#being able to get people to recognize you as what you want to be. being both and neither and smth else entirely#hell i still get a lot of euphoria from confusing people honestly. i cant meaningfully be misgendered bc youre either right or funny#idk! idk. its a very first world problem i know but im never going to be seen as the me that exists inside my head#and i think im allowed to be a little sad abt it#levi.txt
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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wheres the "why is it so saaaad" image with the cat with big sopping watering eyes ouauauuugh how I feel is the embodiment of that
#ow....... my heart 🥹#im not even really sad about anything specific its just been such a long week. and probably the comedown is enhancing it#i just want to cry snottily into someones shirt for like half an hour and maybe ill be okay#its just so haaaard. and i think the meds do help a bit but it still takes effort on my part too. and it sucks a ljttle bit that theyll-#take a while to get used to and maybe therell still be some side effects anyway. and also they could be stopped by shortages at any time#i guess it just scares me a bit the idea of depending on smth like medication just to get a little closer to being a functional human#i wish that came with existing already.. but no point lamenting abt it. the cards have been dealt and its not all that bad really#i just want to be happy.... not all the time but maybe a solid 60-70% of the time. if thats not too much. dont we all girl!!#ah my life is pretty good as it is though and i have a lot to be grateful for. but im allowed to want a little more... right 🥹#im going to go to beddddd. hopefully ill sleep better tonight and tomorrow will be a nice day. at least i dont have to work yayy#ahhh. also its my birthday soon and it always makes me sad coming up to and having a birthday i dont know why..#i dont mind getting older but i guess it makes me feel quite reflective and sometimes its hard to think about the past/future#i want to be able to celebrate birthdays and let people be nice to me and have fun about it! and i say every year ill try better at it#but i never manage to get there it always feels like too much to ask for and too much to take.. ah. well its okay really#ill make myself a cake and do smth fun. and have a good cry at some point but thats just part of the day#not for another few weeks anyway.. okay 10pm lights out zzzz#.diaries
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like yeah i know my blog is 95% bullshit at this point with occasional oc stuff but im usually just trying to not give up having interests and just become the most bland person ever
#i don't blame ppl for unfollowing me i get interested in a new thing but i don't feel allowed to talk about them#idk. im sad bc i have no energy to draw or write despite wanting to talk abt ocs#but i just feel like i've drifted away from my tesblr friends when i played rdr and now that im thinking abt tes again it's happening again#i just have no life outside of work and really struggle to actually enjoy the little free time i have#ANYWAY SORRY back to your regularly scheduled reblogging
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i think literary analysis esp literary discussion is actually incredible
#like yes we all need critical thinking DUH but ALSO when i am sad. it gets my mind off of my sadness and into the motives#of other people <3 u cant be sad when ur thinking abt poor little gatsby...it also provides an outlet FOR ur sadness too like#literary analysis or media analysis is one of the best things on earth nothing i love more than shairng my opinion on things abt#thing i read abt and their meaning#it ALSO prevents cramps REAL AND TRUE i had cramps todsy and no lemon juice.. gone the minute we start discussing things in english#i think discussion is just incredible. the urge to communicate is immense my cant shut up itis never stops#the urge to discuss something that CHALLENGES my brain and allows for seeing diff viewpoinnts....#yes im a nerd but GOD smth abt it is soooooooooooooo mwah
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ppl with misophonia i am giving u a kiss on the forehead. we are so brave. it’s ok to be exhausted and upset after hearing a trigger sound. we’re gonna be ok. i love you
#misophonia#im getting sad thinking abt how isolating misophonia is :(#like i was trying to hang out with my fam but they kept making noises so i went to sit upstairs instead#it sucks & it’s hard. and i’m allowed to be upset over it#but also i’m gonna be ok :) i love our little community#misophonia tag
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I was thinking abt english!reader back to japan with mizu, she doesn't have any experience with chopsticks, right? So I was thinking about having diner, taigen ranting and everything and mizu halfway through her meal just notices readers meal untouched and reader struggling so she just ends up feeding reader.
(also i don't know if you do rq but if you like I would be glad if you elaborated more :])
pairing: mizu x fem!english!reader
warning(s): light swearing, taigen is a warning in itself
a/n: this hits home because I a basic american do not know how to use chopsticks
summary: your eating dinner when mizu notices you not eating. her eyes travel to your hands, messing with the chopsticks in your hands.
word count: 554 words / 3,063 characters
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your eyes flickered from mizu to taigen, watching as the pair chatted. well, it was mostly taigen talking— ranting about his days work, and how his chignon had finally grown back after mizu had sliced it clean off.
than, your eyes landed on your food.
it was good food, yes, ringo had cooked it—and he was an excellent cook.
yet you hadn’t touched it.
your eyes than drifted to the chopsticks, letting out a quiet enough sigh that mizu couldn’t hear it. you had come from england where they used utensils such as forks, knives, and spoons.
here, they used chopsticks. sticks, to eat your food.
it’s not that you didn’t respect the culture, by not using them—
—you seriously just didn’t know how to use them.
so, you left your food untouched.
mizu felt her attention drifting away from taigen, tired of listening to his voice, if she were being completely honest with herself. her blue eyes landed on you.
you.. weren’t eating.
she watched as you spun the chopsticks in your fingers, gazing down at them with somewhat of a sad expression on your lips.
“my love…” she whispered, seeing your head perk up a little, “why haven’t you eaten?”
you looked away, embarrassed by your lack of knowledge, “I-I don’t..” you murmured. “I-I don’t know how to use these.”
you held the chopsticks up to her, her expression softening at your words. she nodded, sliding closer to you. she grabbed the chopsticks from your hands.
“I can show you later,” she whispered. “for now.. you need to eat.”
mizu slid the chopsticks into the noddles, picking a few up and holding them up to your lips.
you giggled at her, your face blushing red as you allowed her to feed you.
".. you two are weird," taigen huffed, folding his arms across his chest, "now, are we going to get back to our conversation, mizu, or not?"
she rolled her eyes, "you think im weird for making sure my wife eats?"
"not that she eats, that you're feeding her like a baby bird!" taigen hissed, "now answer my question."
"hmm--no," she hummed, turning back to look at you as you happily allowed her to feed you.
after taigen and ringo had left, mizu sat you comfortably back at the table--sitting herself behind you. she grabbed the chopsticks, and adjusted one in the crease where your thumb met your palm.
"now bend your finger," she gently pushed on your pointer finger, creasing it a little and sliding the other stick under your bended finger.
she straightened out your middle finger, and curled the rest of your fingers downward.
"now hold this one with these two fingers," she adjusted your ring and pink against the first chopstick. "and this one with these fingers."
she adjusted your middle and pointer against the second stick, holding it firmly so it would slip away.
"now eat," she let go of your hands, and wrapped her arms around your waist.
you weren't the best at it, but you managed to pick up the food well enough to eat.
"now you don't need me to feed you." she chuckles.
you laugh along with her, and place a kiss on her forehead. "thank you, sweetheart. can we please go to sleep? i've had enough of taigen for one evening."
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a/n: I literally pulled up a pic of how chopsticks were supposed to be held (step by step) and just wrote that shit down. next time I eat with those fuckers im coming back to this fic
#mizu x you#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu x reader#mizu#blue eyed samurai#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#ask#asked and answered#request#fic request#x reader
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hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on fred weasley where the reader is a pureblood slytherin (introverted, stubborn, etc) and they're in a secret relationship. one day their differences lead them to having a huge argument where their pride gets the best of them and they insult each other (about their hogwarts houses stereotypes, their families, blood status) saying the worst things.
thank you <33
this is my first request ever and i’m so excited! im not rlly sure how i feel abt it but i do hope this fits what you wanted! (900 words)
“I’m tired of us being a secret. I’m tired of being a secret.” Fred said as he closed the door behind him, locking you both in the potions classroom that was now abandoned and empty.
“What?” You scoffed.
“I can’t keep doing this. Hiding our relationship from everyone. Why can’t we just tell them?” He sighed.
“My family, they wouldn’t approve of it, you know that.” Your voice was small.
Your family’s views were strict and old fashioned. They were against wizards or witches and muggles being together, especially getting married and having children. They called anyone They saw and they’ve pushed those views on you ever since you were small.
It hurts to say but if they found out you were in a relationship with the type of person they weren’t fond of, someone like Fred Weasley. You’d be shamed and disowned in less than a minute.
“I don’t care what your family thinks! Why do you care so much about what they think?” Fred groaned. “We don’t have to tell them directly, we can tell other people, let your parents figure it out on their own. They can deal with it.”
“Fred. Our families are-”
“My family has said nothing but good things about you! Hell, George cares about you as much as I do! Yours can’t even return the favor.”
“What? You told your family about me?” Your face slightly dropped.
“Only George…” He trailed off.
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” You spat, the awkward look on Fred's face was wiped off and replaced with anger.
“Deal? What bloody deal? You’re making it sound like this is some bet you took.” He scoffed.
“No! You know what I mean, we promised not to tell anybody.”
“That’s what I’m tired of! How many more times do I have to say it?”
“Fred..don’t you know what they’ll say about me?”
“You won’t be the only one getting talked about. This isn’t just about you!” Fred rubbed his face with his hands. “I should’ve listened to George. He was right.” He mumbled to himself. Your face slowly dropped.
“What?” You spoke quietly, all the volume in your voice had been washed away.
“When I first told George about you, he seemed offended that I could be in love with someone like you.” He spat.
“Someone like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You were taken aback by his sudden change of tone.
“A slytherin. He didn’t think someone as bitter and stubborn and vile as you could love me.” His words stung like acid.
“And you’re not? Don’t you see how reckless and narrow-minded you can be with the things you do?”
The next few minutes were just the both of you taking stabs at each other. Insulting anything you could find one another. You both began to sound like broken records, repeating the same cruel things at each other.
“I’m choosing my own path in life, I’m not letting myself get pushed into something I don’t want to do.” At this point he was just spewing things out, biting back at you, you decided to do the same.
“You mean that little shop you want to open? With all your stupid trick candies? Have you even thought about how you’re going to get it, if you’ll even be allowed to sell things like that?”
“Well, it’s better than being like you and following in the footsteps of your mother.” He shook his head. You scoffed in disbelief.
“Don’t you dare compare me to her. You don’t know how hard it’s been for me. You don’t know what I’ve dealt with.”
“Oh of course, it must be so hard living in that giant mansion, getting everything you want handed on a silver plate.” He fake pouted and mocked a sad voice.
“I’ve worked for everything I have and I'm grateful for it. Have you ever?” He pointed a threatening finger at you.
“Working for it? By stealing and lying? At least I tell the truth.” You shot back.
“Then tell me why you refuse to let us be together in public.” Fred blurted out, you went silent.
“I’ve told you a million times, it’s my family-“
“No it isn’t! It isn’t about them anymore!” He shouted. “Are you embarrassed of me? You can’t be seen with a Weasley?”
“No! It’s not about you, it has nothing to do with you.” Your voice crackled, Fred only stepped back and sighed.
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, Y/N.” He ran his hands through his hair.
“I love you.” You blurted out, eyes beginning to water, tears filling them up. Fred was already crying, his teardrops hitting his robes and the floor.
“If you truly do, then you don’t in a way that I can understand.” He sniffled and began to turn away, heading for the door.
“Please don’t go. We can fix this, alright?” You cried as you clinged onto his wrist.
“Either you can stop being afraid and walk out there with your hand in mine,” Fred’s voice was stern as he began to give you his ultimatum. “Or I can leave, alone. And we’ll choose to believe nothing has ever happened between us.”
He stood there quietly while you searched to find the words, hot tears began to stream down your face. Freds eyes were only red and puffy now, his cheeks tearstained.
“I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t.” Your voice crackled as you shook your head weakly, giving an answer that you weren’t even sure of. He nodded weakly and tucked in his lips.
“Alright.” His voice was small. Defeated. Fred looked down for a moment, then brought his head back up and sniffled.
Fred gave you a pained smile. Then left, he didn’t even dare to look at you one last time. Shutting the door quietly.
#fred weasley#fred weasley fic#fred weasley oneshot#fred weasley blurb#blurb#oneshot#fred weasley x slytherin!reader#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x gn!reader#fred weasley x fem!reader#fred weasley angst#requests
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Rocky Rickaby x gn or fem reader who is really REALLY physically affectionate headcannons? Like i'm talking giving him a nice smooch on the lips from time to time for no reason, hugging and or cuddling Rocky when they or he wants sum and giving him small pecks and kisses on his forehead, cheek, sometimes nose and ALWAYS giving him compliments and words of reassurance when they see that Rocky's feeling a bit down in the dumps. While savagely telling or killing the person off.
I'm totally normal abt him bro dw
Okay so I got MANY requests for a Part 2 on the first Rocky HCs, so Im using this as a jumping off point! Lots of affectionate GN Reader in here, and i have. So many thoughts. So lets goooo
Obviously ... Rocky loves all this attention. When he initially started crushing on you, any attention was good and wanted, but especially the smiles and approving words. The best part in those early months was the fussing. Since he's always in some kind of state, you'd call Rocky over to smooth coat or tidy some leaves out of his hair.
He'd actually keep still, too excited and surprised to think of moving while your hands pawed over him - even if it just lasted a few seconds. At some point you'd clean dirt (or was that blood?) off his face with one of your hankerchiefs, and you better believe he always "forgot" to return it. Maybe if he knew you'd be at the cafe, he wouldn't fix himself up, hoping you might be inclined to do it instead. Maybe.
Anytime you initiated some closer form of contact - first the fussing, then maybe touching his face, then perhaps hugging - he always freezes for just a second, then immediately accepts and melts into it. And after that, he's more than happy to initiate the same kind of affection.
It's almost like Rocky needs to "wait" for permission, to have someone else cross that line first. Like he isn't allowed to, or rather - the wait is better than potential rejection. This is doubly so if you're more of a posh cat, or perhaps someone whose more closed off. Impulsive and adoring as he is, the thought of frightening you away or you being repulsed by him is too painful a thought. Once you make it clear that he can "cross" a new line in the relationship, he practically leaps over it. As time goes on he won't have these worries nearly as much. They're mostly subconscious, too - an anxiety he can't figure or name, and he'd rather not dwell on it.
Honestly, if you aren't a physically affectionate person, it'll be tough. Rocky really thrives off it and sees it as an affirmation of your feelings, though he soaks up the praise and loving words, being physically close, held and accepted just hits different. And ... combining both the physical and verbal affection? Yeah, he's just. Doe-eyed and lovestruck. It's both sweet and a little sad how desperately happy it makes him.
Your loving words don't even have to be anything effusive or overly romantic - simple appreciation for when he helps you out (or tries to), daily "I love you"s, complimenting something about him, expressing happiness at spending time with him, it all goes straight to his heart and his head. If he goes too long without it, Rocky will prompt you for praise and attention. Before you two were a couple, Ivy teased him about it - "You're always looking for them to pat you on the head!" Yes, and what of it? If you're someone whose older or at least seemed more mature and collected, your approval only matters all the more, as is his desire to impress you.
This also means if you're ever upset or cross with him, he takes it to heart as well. Icing him out, trying to do the silent treatment, etc seriously messes with him. Rocky will completely blame himself and spiral and it won't be pretty, so it's best to resolve the fights maturely and with a level head. Yes, he tries to act like he isn't hurt or terrified you'll leave. It's an act, and a poor one at that.
Since he's so noodly, it's easy to wrap your arms around Rocky's torso for a big hug! He loves it, of course, he'll return the favor and lift you right up (or ... try to, anyway). He'll even (try to) spin you around! If you let him, Rocky will just stay clinging and lean on you, inquiring about your day and what you're up to. He likes to rest his chin on your shoulder or your head, his tail happily whapping at your leg while he chatters.
He'd really love it if you just let him curl up in your arms on a couch or something - seriously, when's the last time he's had that? It's almost a novel experience, and even better if you're a bigger and floofier cat! He'll have moments of disbelief that this is real, that you're allowing it and you want the clingy sleepy snuggles. Sometimes he falls asleep because you're so comfy and warm. Again, when is the last time he's had a warm, safe and cozy place to sleep? When ??
(Semi-related note, he can fall asleep in the weirdest positions and places. Years of being homeless will do that.)
Oh! And the kisses. Kisses are good, they are great. Even the little ones on the cheek or his brow. He's not totally shameless so any lingering or deeper kisses in private (and ofc if you're masc, that's just safer). I mean he could just kiss and hug you forever, he just gets drunk on all the affection and love. Definiately the sort of person to just make out and be totally content; he'll get pretty cheeky and bitey, too. If you have a tickle spot, look out. It will be found. Also, if he's already in a manic-happy mood, expect random lines of poetry between the kisses.
(Zib always notices when there's lovebites or lipstick left on him and comments on it. Rocky almost never notices but !! It makes him oddly happy, even as he immediately covers/cleans up.)
Also if you go on bootlegging jobs with him, there's probably a "no PDA until certain danger has passed" rule because of uh, certain past incidents. If you two start getting touchy-feely then Freckle coughs VERY loudly and tries not to die of embarrassment.
Even when you two are in a situation where there can't be any PDA - maybe you're masc presenting, maybe you're in front of friends who don't approve or you're in a "business" meeting with some sketchy sorts - He still wants to stand very close, shoulder-to-shoulder. Rocky isn't aware how much he'll touch your shoulder, pat your head, pat your back, and so on.
Alas, he can't play his violin for you while smooching and hugging. He still likes to hum melodies to work on later. Looking at you just makes them pop into his head. That means cuddling isn't this serene quiet thing, you two are chattering or he's humming something against your skin. Oh, and he's great at remembering your favorite songs, whether they're folksy, jazz, classical - he has the range!
Since you're around him so often, you'll notice when Rocky's happy-go-lucky mask begins to slip. He'd try even harder to keep it up around you, not wanting to "scare" you off, but no one can keep that momentum up forever. You'll have to reassure him, many times, that he doesn't have to pretend around you. If he's troubled, he should tell you. It's going to take time (and probably a life threatening injury) before you get the full extent of his loneliness and fears. He's been burying it for years, after all. Slowly, he'll bring up bits of his past and his parents, but you won't get much unless he's under the influence or wounded.
It's been said before but, yes, it's obvious to anyone with a pulse how much he adores you. Some people he knows don't even know you're name because he always refers to you as his angel from on high, his auspicious muse, his grandest sweetheart, his Helen of Troy, so on and so forth. It's just. endless. If you're a more high-class sort of person, and/or someone whose very level-headed or serious, they don't hide their surprise to learn you two are together. There might be blunt questions, like what do you see in him. He won't admit it, but those inquiries do hurt Rocky's feelings, albeit he laughs it off. He's quite happy if you stick up for him and express that you're very happy with him, thank you very much.
So, yes. You have this particular bootlegging music-playing poetry-reciting man around your finger. Treat him well and don't let him go off and do stupid things for your sake. If you asked anything of Rocky, he'd do it in a heartbeat, but that sort of intense devotion isn't always in his interest. Maybe that devotion gets a little obsessive, especially on his insecure days. A more steady and mature partner would help pump the breaks on that, while someone more on his wavelength would uh .... Well, it'd be absolutely chaotic, but at least it'd be fun?
#i tried not to repeat myself but oops LOOK#he is a LOVE BUG okay please give him attention 😭#rocky rickaby x reader#lackadaisy x reader
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MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 4 HALF vs. MAGIC
Propaganda for both options under the cut!
Propaganda for HALF:
kazui may just be an old gay man but HE CAN SING.
its. literally stunning.
like aside from his character and everything else, half is just really really beautifully written
THE INSTRUMENTALS.
HIS V O I C E??? its so pretty
heartbreaking lyrics. i dont love kazui as a character but i have bawled to half
GAY RIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love amane but she will undoubtedly win when her purge march poll rolls around, so lets let the old man have a win shall we?
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half propaganda let's goooo sorry i'm sobern't in true kazui style so this probably won't make a bit of sense
theatre kid man. i love him, incredible mv.
this song is pure ASMR to me
visually aligned with Cat and it's so lovely to see that continuity
the GRAINY MOVIE DOTS THING ON THE MV <3
kazui is so dramatic. i love him i love him
dapper gentleman. such clothes
the key change is so well done
AND THE . THE PART WITH THE. THE ENDING SORT OF LYRICS OVERLAID WITH SPEAKING. and then his quieter singing and, and, and o h my god. im sorry. im not very coherent abt this rn
every part of the song is amazing but once it gets to the key change and after it keeps stepping up the amount of being perfect
kazui is in it
um
kazui is in it
go my psionic warriors vote for everyone's favourite failhusband
no children were tortured in the making of this MV (cough looking at You magic)
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Allow me to present my Half propaganda!
- The slower tempo adds a very relaxing feeling to the song. Kinda ironic, but I like it! It sort of reminds of old indie songs from 2012 (especially with what I think is whistling added in the instrumental in-between chorus and verses.)
- Kazui’s voice. Enough said.
- It’s very easy to listen to, and I find it’s one of the only songs from Milgram that I like to listen to out of context (besides After Pain, Backdraft, and Purge March, oddly enough.)
- The MV is rife with imagery, and is used to beautiful effect. It really makes you feel for Kazui and his situation.
- The scene with him and Hinako before the key change… that makes me so emo.
- The overlapping part at the end… the lyrics combined with the dialogue in the background makes me really sad in a way I can’t explain.
Propaganda for MAGIC:
MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.
Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.
---
shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!
seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.
adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive
there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue
ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!
this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY
"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE
the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????
amanes voice is ADORABLE
THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL
i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep
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Satan & Violins
I share a lot of similarities with Satan, even when before they canonized something about him; one of them being violinist!Satan😭 In spite of me having a mini identity crisis following the drop of his canon violinist card, i think it makes sense! heres why.
Disclaimer!
1. I have not picked up an instrument in years
2. This is purely bcuz my brain is so busy thinking abt Satan so its kinda rambly. . Pls bare w me T_T
3. THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY
4. Not too used to tumblr writing just yet sorry if it's messy
(Uploaded on my twitter aswell :D)
The violin and its family, unlike other string instruments (ex. the guitar), doesnt have these little things (that i forgor the name of because im a bad musician) that separates every note. those little separating thingies are the reason why people who dont know shit about playing a key on guitar but memorize musical scales (me) is at least able to strum a simple one octave melody.
Obviously, the two come in with their one difficulty (i prefer the violin myself), but it's a little bit harder to pull that trick with the violin. As you can see, theres not exactly something to tell you where each note begins or where they end. Nothing to determine where is where. You simply have to memorize the placement and the distance between each note. You basically play the violin with Your Gut (1). We'll keep this in mind for now.
Moving on, let's talk about body posture.
Beginner violinist usually directlty face towards the strings when playing, as they aren't used to letting their 'gut' lead the show. However, more experienced players would find no need to do so. A quick glance at Satan's art could tell us he was at least above beginner level to be brave enough to face (us) instead.
When you're not facing your violin, you would usually lean your head towards it, resulting in your ear becoming the closest thing to it- here's a real life example:
Now, if there was anything my teacher warned me before starting violin, is that even without having your ear be the closest thing to it, the strings are already LOUD😭 so its even louder when you alr have ur ear on it. The violin is considered one of the most emotional instruments ever, their lower sound resemble what we use to express sadness in speech. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, you as a player are forced to feel what you're playing. Thus is also why you play the violin with Your Heart (2).
So, how does this tie into Satan? It's no secret that our handsome man is incredibly romantic, and to me if he ever wants to express something to us and making sure the message is clearly received, the equally emotional violin is his best bet! The violin allows Satan to play heartwrenching notes that would quickly be felt by the listener.
Lets get technical.
There's still another side of the violin, as there is another side to Satan. The way you stroke your bow matters, the way you angle it so you'll only hit the notes you want. (thankfully if you mess up, the violin is made to still sound graceful😂). Satan too, is quite the detail oriented person. He is tactical, analytical, observant, a man obsessed with striving to be the perfect one, etc etc. The need of preciseness of the violin is definitely right up his alley. The way you need everything to be correct to be rewarded for a beautiful sound. Idk exactly where I'm going with this but it's basically intelligence meets emotion kinda thing, do you see it too?!?!
In conclusion, the violin is a wonderful instrument that both requires great attention to detail yet is also incredibly emotional and heartfelt, an instrument that requires your gut and heart guide your play without abandoning technique. Satan, the incredibly smart yet fluffy softie, is quite literally made for this and I LOVE HIM for that RAAAAAAHHHH. im normal.
THATS IT RLLY im soooo sorry if it's incredibly messy please have a sugarry picture <3 ily
#obey me satan#satan obey me#yes i like omori how did you know#thinking abt me and satan covering duet mghhhnnnhhhh#STAN SATAN OUR MULTI TALENTED KING FOR CLEAR SKIN#rambling a bit#obey me#obey me nightbringer
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spoilers below
sorry to make everything abt scara (i am unfortunately obsessed with him) but its crazy how his interlude quest which is basically a massive traumadump still has him taking accountability for all the shit he did in his own little shit way. nahida says that his actions could very well be seen as evil and taking his memories back would mean gaining all that trauma and all those crimes and he's like. "Well i made those decisions for a reason so i'll stand by them bc thats what makes me Me."
while arles quest felt a lot more like. "Yes im literally still being shown as someone intimidating and aggressive but i have a sad backstory i infodumped on you so you should be able to connect the dots and give me the benefit of the doubt. also other playable characters you probably care about are going to insist that im not that bad after you saw me threaten and berate them."
like SIGH the "she's actually not THAT bad!!!" felt like such a copout. it's not that i think she should've been a manically laughing stereotype like the previous knave in that fucking short but like 😭 at least stay consistent on her questionable actions instead of having people "forgive" her bc she could've done worse???
at the end of the scara interlude we dont get an npc or playable characters waxing poetic about how he's actually doing good in their eyes 🥺 or whatever. with scara we're allowed to still be suspicious of him, we're allowed to question if he really IS serious about helping nahida.
it's just frustrating to see that the writers CAN allow that sort of ambiguity to exist (frex when we first see scara during the parade of providence event, the narrative has us worry if he's going to do something backhanded etc) but w arles quest it felt a lot like the game going Well she's not AS bad as the previous knave so cut her some slack :/ JSJAJZJAJSJAJSKSJ
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Heyy i have a question for you bro. First of all i love your posts, it's so encouraging and makes me feel genuely better abt myself. My question is how do i make up for a boyhood i never had? I'm 18 and transitioning isn't available to me, my country is extremely homophobic and id simply need someone to tell me my chest doesn't make me a girl etc but i don't know any queer folks irl and it feels like im missing out
Thank you for contacting the Male Distribution System Bark Line. Remember: Mens bodies come in many shapes, sizes, colors, and heights. Being unconventional does not detract from your validity. Your message is in the queue...
hey man whats good!
This is something I've been doing/thinking about for years, and honestly I'm not sure how applicable my advice is, but i'll still try :^)
I grew up real sheltered and closed away from the world, there's a lot that I never got the chance to experience or be taught that I've had to make up for. I'll ask ya, What weren't you allowed to do due to your socialization/upbringing? for me the answers are: Tackle football, watching star wars, playing with "boy toys" from fast food meals, walking around shirtless, wearing "simple" clothes, stuff like that.
Dont be afraid to derive gender euphoria from shit thats uselessly gendered. I still use Old Spice deoderant because it was Boy Deoderant and i really liked the way it smelled when i was 17 lol. Buy "mens" body wash, use "mens" razors, stuff like that! (In america all these things are less than 10$ so im very sorry if thats bad advice for you)
My answer for experiencing boyhood is: Let yourself be free in all the ways you wish you could have at that age. Collect monster trucks, build lego sets, watch wrestling or mma or boxing or [insert overwhelmingly male-dominated physical sport here], engage with hobbies that are male-dominated and feel good about talking to other men online who participate too.
honestly on that note, make a social media account divorced from any of your other ones with no indicators whatsoever that you're trans, just say you're a man (if you specify at all) and interact with dudes anonymously, kinda like you did me here. It's such a quiet and hidden thing to do, but when i was in highschool (14-17 years old for me) it was one of the most validating things i did for myself. I was just one of the guys, because i literally am.
But also, that boy needs to cry. I'm serious, let him scream and be angry and punch things, let him be sad and ask "why couldnt i have this before?". That little boy inside you could use the aknowledgement.
Also hey, i know you dont got no IRL queer folks to say it to you, so i will: having a chest dont make you any less of a man. Wearing a binder hurts my back, badly. So i stopped wearing them and havent worn a binder in a few years now. I still correct people to tell them im a dude. I just let them hang about freely. I'm just a dude with a chest, and i make people deal with seeing that. Even if you can't go around correcting people and shit, i want you to know it in your heart. Dudes have chests sometimes. Not even just trans dudes! Cis dudes get gynecomastia at varying (but usually a bit older) ages and have to get surgery too. Hell, even those gymrats addicted to roids get tit fat that need to be removed. They're all still men, and so are you. I dont care what it looks like, you're still a man.
I'm sorry if this wasn't quite what you was looking for, but i hope you know you're a brother to us all, and like any brother would, i hope you get what you're looking for out of your life. You deserve it.
Be easy, now ☆
#Bark Line#had to redo my tags on this one bc i forgot using quotations fucks them up. gods i hate tumblr sometimes#anyways#it might look stupid or childish to other people to see me sitting here like#'play into gender roles to make yourself feel better'#but im actually serious it feels so good and the unnecessary gendering of random shit isnt going away#might as well use it to make yourself feel better lol
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Pls more Raymond headcanons I’m starving 😵
Hooh me too bbg im hungryyy
I'm gonna compile a couple of old hcs in this one, and add some new ones too. a misc hc drop for u ♥♥♥
tysm for sending a request!
Sex/Attraction
sorry this gif is the first thing i think abt when i consider his sexuality lmao 😂😂
some kinks he has AND IS AWARE OF:
hair pulling (receiving) scratching (receiving) biting (giving and receiving) hickies (giving and receiving)
these kinks are UNLOCKABLE and currently REPRESSED:
edging (giving and receiving) overstimulation (giving and receiving) praise (receiving) body worship (giving) pred/prey dynamics (pred) rope (receiving) toys (giving and receiving) olfactophilia (uhh not sure how to describe this in terms or giving/receiving, he likes to snoff lol) voyeurism (voyeur)
He's most attracted to curvy/hourglass body types, especially soft thighs
Prefers a bare face (but can be easily fooled with natural makeup)
Prefers full bush
Lost his virginity the summer before college to a girl he wasn't that into
Best sex he ever had was at a college party sneaking off with a stranger drunk off his ass
If you asked his face what the hottest thing is, he'd say something about soft curves and an eager personality
if you asked his dick, it'd be something closer to consumption. An attraction that could peel him open from the inside and wrest from him his rotten core-- for the purpose of ingesting it ofc-- leaving him purer for having been picked through and so thoroughly enjoyed
Physicality
This one is semi-canon but his thighs are covered in moles/freckles
capable of a nice tan, if his schedule would ever allow it
teeth are crooked from decades of jaw clenching
the body hair situation is kinda silly... he's got tons of hair in some places and looks so naked in others... im talking like bushy pits and balls but like a tiny sprinkle of sad little hairs on his chest and belly lol
His elbows and knees click when fully extended
Love/Friendship
Friendship never came extremely naturally to him but as a young man in the 50's/60's it's not like the expectations were extremely high
In grade school he mostly had friendships of convenience-- boys from his neighborhood/class
College was where he began to really relate to others, connecting with people who had similar experiences with death and grief
David Whitlow was a friend and not just an employee to Raymond (he was killed with a scalpel to the face)
Other friends from his 20's and 30's eventually fell off as he became more withdrawn and involved with "work"
Raymond never had an affair, but his eye did wander especially as his marriage began to fall apart in the early 80's
Despite this, he would absolutely consider Maria to be the person he loved most
Habits/Preferences
Black coffee, Marlboro reds
Has decided to give up drinking
Meditates daily
Tries to eat out once a week, as a treat
HOT hot showers
chronically dehydrated, i s2g getting this man his 8 glasses wouldn't cure him but it would blow his goddamn mind
Terrible sleeper, snores like a chainsaw, nightmares, talks in his sleep, walks in his sleep, has false awakenings, sleep paralysis, insomnia, the works
#yappa answers#Raymond Delver#the mortuary assistant#will i ever stop with the rotten fruit metaphors? nough
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What's your favorite thing about Wukong, MK, and Mei
And what's your least favorite thing about Macaque (as he's your favorite)
HM.
one of my fave things abt mk is how hes come into his own, owning his powers and self even though self doubt. hes a lil people pleaser, but hes not, like, a little somft uwu boy and he gives people many chances because he actively chooses to, and thinks they deserve them, but once its become too much hes happy to tell people thats e-fucking-nough as much as the censors will allow
fave thing for mei is probably her self confidence and aesthetic, she falters for sure but she has this fucking feral energy i adore and i hope nothing tames that, i dont care about how character growth is usually portrayed, you can be capable and not have to dim your fire. i understand the stuff with calming down to do the training at the end of s4 but she was also the only one with enough guts to tell him to fuck off. she got no stars but she was also the one to kick azure deadass in the face and steal swk (their trump card) back and if she hadnt, they might not have got swk back at all
fave thing abt swk is his tits his vibes. i actually like a lot abt swk fr, i like that hes a funny little guy, but you can still see bits of a more dangerous god under there, who can make the hard decisions noone wants to make because SOMEONE has to do it. hes a person with very firm convictions, even when he knows theyll get him a lot of hate. was he gonna kill the host? maybe, in hindsight its easy to say she didnt have to die, but realistically, one person vs the entire earth is a no brainer choice that noone else would have wanted to make
unpopular opinion and possibly hypocritical but i dont want canon maq to be too soft. stay a bastard. stay jagged. tbh im not sad over younger shadowpeach, and i know im a mean fucker but just in fiction, purely soft sweet relationships are pretty boring to me and i dont want that back at all. i want them to heal a little, tolerate each other, but i dont want maq to suddenly be sweet and sorry for everything. i got faith in lmk to not ruin his character tho.
also i liked his s3 outfit WAY better than his current one
#lego monkie kid spoilers#monkie kid spoilers#lmk s4 spoilers#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#mk#ask#OOPS OOPS SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT YOU GUYS MUST KNOW I RAMBLE A LOT WHEN PPL ASK ME QUESTIONS LIKE THIS KSSHSSKSJ
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i WANNA HEAR UR OC THOUGHTS TOO NOW ^_^ ^_^
WAWAUGHHHH TYYY!!!!!!! mostly i am thinkiing about teddy... hes a tf2 oc i made and hes jsut Some Guy. he moves to teufort for work reasons and through the power of lead poisoning begins to slowly deteriorate!! he used to work at binski logging (blu associated i think) and got moved to binski paper (red associated) and at first he was pretty sure they were the same company, but at some point he realizes theyre two different companies. it leads him into a little rabbithole spiral about red and blu, and mannco, and everything. so over the course of a few months he goes from normal guy to jittery conspiracy theorist with a corkboard covered in red and blue yarn
hes awesome hes still like a Normal Guy so he sucks at sneaking around trying to get information. he takes bad pictures of the red and blu bases on a little Polaroid camera and he talks through his theories with his cat, walter (awesome cat, girl cat with a boy name, old, always looks sad regardless of mood, missing a leg) and he also looks Not Scary or Threatening on purpose because hes funny. AND! hes a fat tboy. theres a lot in my beautiful mind but ohhh im thinking of him hiding in a bush taking a picture and then riding away on his bike to develop it and pin it to his corkboard and think and theorize.
i think it is fun to think about the comedy inherent in a silly dude, as well as the horror of feeling stupid for not realizing things sooner and the effects of horrible chemical runoff and capitalism and the metaphors of capitalism and large corporations as the same unknowable vastness as an eldritch monster, breaking your mind and turning a normal guy into a man who could hurt someone to get answers. BUT! he has a cute kitty so hes allowed to.
[image id: two drawings of teddy, a fat trans man. the first shows a drawing of him looking tired, hes standing and holding a mop in his hand and resting his other hand on his hip. he has his hair in a ponytail and is wearing a tank top that does not fit fully over his stomach, where you can see his belly button and some stretch marks. hes also wearing jorts and a pair of slippers. theres a dripping bucket beside him and a small doodle of him happily mopping to the side
the second image is a screenshot from a whiteboard. hes drawn in green from behind, speaking to a tired looking cat missing an arm. hes saying "walter keep an eye on my hostage okay?? love you kitty mwah <3" and beside that is a drawing of the same cat making a gross face, with a caption reading "pov your kidnappers cat is abt to throw up on you" end id]
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