#and i realise that there's a weird sort of vibe on tumblr
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Coming of age movie hot takes // Matt + Chris
YES, I realise that this is not a proper piece of writing, but don’t worry babies, mommy has got u covered for the weekend coming (hopefully) *nervous laugh*.
You guys can ignore this absolute yapping if u want but it’s really something that I must get off my chest because I think about it an unhealthy amount and make up too many scenarios for each of them in my head with themes and certain plot lines included. Plus, I feel like some of u are absolutely gonna eat this up lol.
But… here are my individual hot takes for both Matt and Chris and what kind of coming of age films they look like they’d star in + with specifically random but accurate details included. (Obviously these are all my own ideas and they may be vastly different to someone else’s, but I felt as though tumblr was the perfect place to brain dump this onto all of u lovely readers)
Matt:
So first up is Matt. Matt gives very much one of those low budget indie coming of age movies where the quality may not be as good but the cinematography is beautiful, as is the plot line. Matt’s movie is the kind of movie you would go to watch and sob at for the entire time because it’s so irrevocably soul-crushing that it tears your heart up piece by piece. If he were to be in an indie movie I feel like it would low-key give off the same kind of energy as something like ‘All the Bright Places’ or possibly even ‘Five Feet Apart’.
Something absolutely tragic is bound to happen in Matt’s movie, and I feel like him dying due to some kind of terminal illness is a high possibility because I don’t know why, it just fits his vibe in a really weird way? Like- his coming of age movie has to be unbareably depressing for some reason.
He’s delicate and gentle, one of those really interesting characters that has so many layers/complications to him. Him and his main love interest share such an odd but heart-warming relationship that you just can’t help but be stuck thinking about the movie days after it’s finished. It bothers you so much that their happy ending was just out of reach.
For the soundtrack, I’m mostly getting Phoebe Bridgers vibes (specifically her Punisher album), something that’s mind-numbingly sad and fits the overall heartache of the cinematography so well that you just want to cry whenever something like ‘Smoke Signals’ or ‘Halloween’ plays beneath the ensuing dialogue. Also, in addition to Phoebe, I also get heavy Current Joys vibes such as ‘In a Year of 13 Moons’ and ‘A Different Age’. The very thought of imagining it makes me want to flat out sob.
Outfit / aesthetic wise for Matt, I envision very much warm brown leather jackets and baggy blue jeans with beat up sneakers and knitted sweaters. He always carries a tattered notebook and drives around a beat up pick-up truck. He smokes red Marlboro cigarettes and constantly seems to have one neatly tucked behind his ear (what-? It would literally look so pretty matched up with his beard and fluffy hair combo… don’t kill me). He’s shy and likes to keep himself to himself but is also hopelessly in love with our main character that also sort of keeps to herself, so he decides to pursue her before it’s too late.
I also feel like this Matt would for sure write 100 love letters to the main character but she would only discover them hidden within his notebook after he had died because when he was still alive he would never tell her what he was writing down whenever they shared moments together. Possibly Matt never got the chance to confess his feelings whilst he was alive, so they stayed forever friends and nothing more right up until he slipped through her fingers at the very end…?
(Bye I’m sobbing, why the fuck does my mind have to be so vivid and imaginative??)
Chris:
For Chris I feel like it’s a little different. His coming of age movie would definitely be a mix between a light-hearted comedy of the classic ‘underdog that finally gets the girl’ whilst also incorporating really important life lessons into the mix of the colourfully bursting screenplay. In contrast, the cinematography is just as beautiful as Matt’s, but in a hazier way, so I’m getting very much party + late night hang out vibes from what Chris’ gives off. This includes darker, more moodier lighting, almost like ‘Euphoria’ in a way. I think his movie would more so correlate with either something like ‘Perks of being a Wallflower’ or even something like ‘10 things I hate about you’. I think the added comedy matches up with Chris’ personality in real life perfectly.
There’s definitely got to be one of those cliche scenes where they lock eyes at a party and all of the other guys on the football team are staring at the most well-known girl in school but Chris only has eyes for our main character. There’s some form of blue/pink/purple flashing lights and everything seems to take place in slow motion as they tentatively peer at each other from opposite sides of the random fish tank before them (Romeo and Juliet style) or some other form obstacle in the way.
For Chris’ soundtrack, I’m thinking something a little more upbeat, and I was possibly debating on Lorde, her songs fit Chris perfectly in my opinion, and no one understands the young mind quite like she does. The emotional vulnerability of her songs mesh together beautifully with Chris’ love language of touch and teenage curiosity and I can just envision something like ‘Perfect Places’ or ‘Hard Feelings’ playing over the back of one of those ending monologues where the movie cuts to a bunch of different scenes as maybe Chris says something really sappy and sentimental over the top of them in his voiceover.
Finally, outfit / aesthetic wise for Chris, I would normally put him in his baggy light-wash jeans and then pair it with a white t-shirt and some form of a zip up hoodie with a backwards cap, but to be honest, most of what Boston Chris used to wear way back when works pretty well too. I’m thinking, typical high school student attire, he’s on the lacrosse team, and is always wholesomely trying his best to impress the girl he’s had a crush on for years with his skills, giving the movie that light, feel-good atmosphere that leaves you with a fuzzy glow after you’ve rewatched it for about the 5th time.
(Again, actually sobbing, I wish these two brief ideas of movies actually existed wtf)
Author’s notes: I’m sorry if this is literally so stupid but I think about it so much, and I think about a lot of other possible movies the triplets look like they could star in. In fact, I even have a whole entire second series sitting in my camera roll of me explaining what horror movies I think each of them would look good in, so if u guys end up liking this one, then I would consider giving u a breakdown of my horror movie ideas if anyone were to wish it hehe. But thank u for listening to my rant and I hope it makes as much sense in your head as it did in mine… 🎀
People who I think would entertain this yapping and enjoy what I have to say here: @luv4kozume @luverboychris @lovingmattysposts @luvmila444 @rootbeerworshiper @nicksmainbitch @lacysturniolo @thesturniolos @strniohoeee @asturniolos @sturniolosreads @sturniolosstar @meanttomeet @sturniolowhore @mattscokewhore @matthemunch @mattestrella @vecnasnose0 @ellie-luvsfics @imwetforyourmom @breeloveschris @kvtie444 @stursweet @bernardsgf @fake-sturniolos @mattslutt @1800chokedathoe @orangeypepsi
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolos#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader
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i saw one of loki’s crew member’s say ‘he’s in love.’
it doesn’t have to be for sylvie.
it doesn’t have to be for mobius.
i think it’s good that they didn’t mention who. but i think personally that it’s mobius.
and that doesn’t make me delusional. yes, sylvie and loki got a kiss. but that’s all it was. because sylvie wanted her own life, and she was perfectly fine without loki. no matter their ‘deeper relationship’, i think they have given up on each other. i think that from the beginning, it was just supposed to be about self-reflection.
i also personally believe that they were pushed together because it was the closest thing to a heterosexual romance. (only my opinion).
even both the actors had said
‘it’s kinda weird isn’t it?’
‘sylvie was like a mirror that reflects and challenges him.’
‘it’s more like a goodbye kiss.’
i think their relationship (if they had one) ended. not ignored, but it’s that both the characters have realised what they want.
‘i want my friends back.’
‘i want to live.’
i didn’t ship lokius in season 1, because i acknowledged the fact that mobius was, in some way, mistreating loki. he may have been loki’s first friend after episode four, but sometimes he emotionally manipulated loki using his past as a weapon.
but in season 2, platonically or romantically, they loved each other. it was just there. their synchrony, their co ordination, their deeper conversations, their care for the other’s well being.
loki was lost without mobius in episode 5.
mobius was lost without loki in episode 6.
it was kind of visible. and it gives me sort of soulmate vibes.
they were so comfortable around each other. and i don’t ship them because they’re two men.
i ship them because they had such a beautiful relationship.
it’s so sad that we’re called delulu because we expected a queer relationship in a large scale show that is crucial for a franchise. but that’s how it is.
if mobius would have been a woman, they would immediately make them a couple with the screen time they have. all those touches would be a ‘spark’ and all those deeper conversations would have more romantic value.
i didn’t want a kiss, or a hand hold, or basically anything like they do in typical romances.
if in every interview they can talk about all the connections he’s made, and openly say that he’s in love, why didn’t we get some closure.
why did we get a half-assed ‘for you’ and then loki just processing the burden of his purpose. why didn’t we get a real-time, ‘thank you for finding me, mobius’ or ‘goodbye.’ or a hug or something!
tumblr is the only social media i’m on, and i only follow the loki fandom. and with the ship war out there, i just wanted to say, i’m sorry if i offended any sylki fans (even with my prev posts). but i’m not sorry for shipping lokius despite that kiss and believing that if loki loves someone, it’s mobius.
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hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3
i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!
i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.
anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!
omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.
ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!
i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:
annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.
with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.
anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.
also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.
#anti jegulus#jegulus hate#tagging those just to be safe lol#also#haha love it that my hatred of remus is A Proper Thing now#it’s a knife being honed for years#and now i am Attacking#i’m so fed up lmaooo#it doesn’t help i keep being enabled on here 💀#i’ve disliked him for years. but quietly. bc i thought it was just me#and now i’m here and can’t keep shut 😭#it’s a problem lol#it’s also funny bc when i started using tumblr a year ago#i was…so careful#mincing my words and being all apologetic and shit#bc i was like. i don’t wanna step on any toes#‘i don’t want unwanted discourse’#and now look at me#i think it’s mainly also bc i’ve managed to cultivate a niche. where all my anons r wonderful and mutuals r a+.#so i’m insulated from the outside drama#best way to live really#anyway. enough rambling.#obligatory disclaimer: i don’t care if someone is OOC. i just want to it to be indicated to in some capacity so i can choose s’all#that being said: my fav reg characterisation? him as a little loser#it’s the absolute best#he’s so ripe for it#bc he screams disgruntled younger sibling to me tbh#once again!!! thank u sm for being so lovely💜💜#ppb#pen’s asks
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YANDERE THE MAN HUSH DUDE HEADCANONS BUT THE READER LOVES HIM BACK?? Btw they make tiktok vids together or share the same humour, They make vids about jokes or making funny vids by reacting or making someone read something & forcing to watch the vid with their reaction lol.
YANDERE the man (John) x reader
Headcanons, filming vids together or forcing each other to react to a weird video or doing weird funny stuff, if you want you can add anything else and yeah lol
Woah that is a long letter u wrote there
I LOVE THE IDEA OMG PLUS THEM PRANKING EACH OTHER omg BUT U FOROGR TO SAY WHAT PRONOUNS TO USE😭*exploes* gonna use she/her :) , there is some dialogue John is green and she is pimk
(Swf)(Request open)(TW:yandere,stalking,bulling people on tiktok)
Yandere silly dude from Hush (le josh) with as silly s/o
When he saw her first time he was sure that he will stalk her a little, spook her with some dead bodies, and kill her (his average sunday)
But after a while he kinda realised that he kinda likes her?? But he didnt pay mind to it(just yet) he still will try to commit crimes
He probably tried to stalk her while she was out in city but she bumped into him and he just 😳🧍 she probably started apologising while he tried to catch his breath.
And imagine if she decided that hes cute and invite him to some cafe. This guy went on mission to gather info to kill her, now He sits there drinking some tea and talks about some drama with her.
He will kinda find her funny, she seemed to have similar sense of humor like him. Then he decides to slow down his kill evil plan and gives her a chancs
His yandere type is defo "youre mine and only mine" but if she gets along with it, he is the biggest cuddle bug and shmol bean ever.
John wont tell her that he loves her (even if she is visably in love with him) and probably plan some evil kidnapind plan(super epic) So yeah he invites her to cute trip in forest total cute, then he ties her arms, then he yeets you in his car (he expects some sort of fight tbh) and drives you to his hause. While she just vibes to songs in radio.
"This is your hause now, try to escape and you wont be so happy" "cool, do you have wifi here" "🧍yea"
God zamn John prepared so hard!! Duble locks on doors, windows with super hard Glass, ect. He was prepared for game in cat and mouse and she just vibes on couch?
"I ordered pizza honey:)" "I cant eat it, I have ligma:(" "whats ligma" "😈 ligma bools"
Shes lucky he loves her because after limga joke he accualy regreted sparing her in first place
Also she would show him the most gen-z memes you can think of and record his reacion "Who is 🤨 among?"
He would blush like crazy when she wears his shirts, he will cuddle her a lot
He works out a lot, and eveytime after, he feels super strong and he just picks her up or play catch or just play-fight
'Damn babe somone just posted rat stealing whole bag of chips, wanna see?" *sees the video* "damn, so us"
He will say stuff like: slay, common W, most sane person in Ohio. This Type of stuff, im sorry if this bothers you
He will give headpats
If shes like tiktok famous and posts funni shit daily, she will try to inculde him. At first only as the guy holding camera or something. But later she will do stuff like "my bf reacting to my skincare routine!" Or "puting make up on my bf! (Not click bait) (he is shocked)"
I SWEAR TIKTOK COMMUTNITY IS THIRSTY THEY WILL SIMP OVER HER MAN
But if they dont mind its win-win because its free comments and likes (and in big scale it means money)
I wanted to post memes at the end but tumblr doesnt like so I prolly post meme right after posting it
Also reader sending him funny shit while he is 'at work' *she sends funny rat meme* "honey i litteraly shoot somone leg off wtf is that" "hehe funi rat"
He loves walks in forest, with hand holding ofc. Also He has ps5 and he will play with her some silly games
Overall 9/10: pros:you get free food, and u dont have to work, u get hugs 12/7. cons: u get kidnaped
I hope its up to ur standards, i made it a little long, john>>
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ok so hello people of tumblr. who wants to know what happened since i last regularly posted here????
i became friends with this girl at work i was loooowkey crushing on, we became too close way too quickly. she confided in me a month and a half into out friendship how she had a crush on a***d which caused her a sexuality crisis bc she was convinced she was gay until then. i felt weird but loved her too much to let something silly like this ruin the friendship. he started hanging out with us, i felt real fucking baaaaaad. life situations led me into telling a***d i liked him for ages. he said we're too good friends to ruin it, we're beyond that point! if i had said something earlier then maybe! then i found out he liked her!!! but he decided because of me he would stop talking to her!! i was living thru insanity bc of it. then me and him spent a month and a half being friends but also more than friends? but also "it's just good friends it's nothing romantic bc i said i don't feel the same i don't wanna ruin it you're one of the utmost important people in my life up there with my childhood friends blahblah" and we cuddled and hugged every time we met, texted every day after work until late at night, went thru a kissing/making out one evening after drinking a lot of alcohol drama. he initiated all of this!!! always!! i was in this weird grey area and thought everything is Fine because i know it's not a good idea
then almost a month ago he decided to ask her out! he didn't tell me in advance (despite the fact i told him if you ever choose to act about your feelings just say so). she did not tell me about it despite me being transparent with her all along, and despite telling me she thinks friendship is more important than all of this. so this went on for a week and a half, without me being told, whilst i was feeling weird asf and convincing myself i'm going crazy because of my anxiety bc everything was Normal. and then i found out thursday march 28th (haha a month ago exactly.. what a coincidence) because we were together and he said he can't wait for a "right time" like she wanted to. all of life collapsed from the feeling of betrayal from and anger at both of them. first i hated her, now i realised i hate him because he was at fault for all this messed up shit and took zero responsibility the one time we talked. i gave 2 of them chances to talk as some closure and we haven't spoken since. i truly hate him and think he's a shit person.
took a whole week off work after that first happened. was depressed at home. one day i decided to dress nicely and go meet my friend who just came back from abroad at the city of christ..... told her everything. then she took me to see a cool hostel i'd like bc it's in an ancient building. guy who works there studied with us but i didn't remember him lol. we talked & had wine then i got tipsy i overshared everything. he was the most charming and cute person i met.... (& a proper proper leftist too). we spent 3 hours there with him despite my friend wanting to kill me bc that WASN'T the plan. he was overly friendly, had a very interesting vibe.. esp abt the situation... then he told me how he's going abroad the next day and perhaps is gonna break up with his ldr gf... we sat together whilst my friend was in another room/on the side on her phone (I APOLOGISED PROFOUNDLY) and he even showed me pics of him from the gym... my biggest regret is when we left, had food with my friend and just got on the bus, he texted me on ig that i should come back to say bye again.. i didnt... then he came back from abroad last week and sort of said if i got the time i should come visit.. so of ci did lol but the Vibe was gone (as like... he didnt break up with the gf and therefore there was no vibe & i was fine with it lol). he asked me if i want him to teach me how to fight and i said yeah so besides updating him again on my woes we also literally fought with each other which was fucking fun. like he was properly teaching me what to do in a fight. i'm still feeling sore (that was 2 days ago) he is so cool and i wanna be his friend now that i am not cr*shing on him...
besides that life is still grim and i am going back to work in a day and gonna have to see those 2 people who ruined my life again aaaaand i know my mental health will take a dive. what do you even do when this shit happens
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Thinking the suprisingly wholesome thing about tumblr (and when I do a yearly IG anon thing with the NGL app, too) is that so, so few people use it to be absolute shits.
Like, 99% of the time (unless you're burdened with being a really big creator and in that case I pray for you), people use it because they're just a wee bit shy about being nice off-anon? And like same, bestie, I get it, but it makes me think of how many times I've been somewhere and I've noticed that someone has like, a gorgeous jacket or an amazing look or whatever and I'm so tempted to compliment them on it, but I am socially anxious and I don't want to be weird or creepy or I'm worried about their reaction being bad, so I say nothing? And the person never even knows that I was sitting like 😍 for a good thirty seconds debating on complimenting them.
And then you realise how many people have probably had that exact same feeling around you, so they just sort of quietly admire and move on because slipping an anonymous note into someone's jacket being like "your vibe is God Tier" is serial killer behaviour.
With the IG thing, for example, I remember a friend who I have a very joke-y banter relationship with used it as a chance to be like 'I never say this because we don't talk like that but I really respect and admire you and I'm glad we're friends" and it just stopped me in my tracks bc it's so easy for us as individuals to just never think others go around thinking that way?
#i remember we did a game like that at a social thing i was at in my old city#where everybody had a sheet of paper with their name at the top#and it got passed around and everybody wrote something they thought about them#[it was a very healthy environment so it wasn't awkward and nobody was an asshole]#and i was so prepared for like just a list of stilted awkward compliments bc people were like 'oh god well i have to write SOMETHING'#but instead i ended up with a big list of really lovely personal things that people had noticed?#and it just stoped me in my tracks#especially bc i'm so quiet in person so i always assume the worst by assuming others are assuming the worst#idk there's some good in this world mr frodo etc etc
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. learn to know your mutuals and followers.(ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡
Thank you ❤️
This list will be unordered, because I am bad at sorting the ideas in my brain 😂
My friends make me really happy, both irl and not (@the-magpieprince ❤️ thank you for letting me rant at you), and even tho I may be rather asocial and introverted, I do love being around ppl. My parents are also ppl who make me really happy, and every time we talk it puts a smile on my face and makes me less anxious
Maths. That's it. I fucking love maths so much, it's actually worrying. I spend most of my free time either thinking/working on my thesis, or writing weird codes on python to make cute gifs. Maths is like the thing that I constantly think about, and has gotten me out of so many panic attacks (prime factorisation or Fibonacci sequence is my go to)
Reading. I've always loved reading, and I didn't do it much during lockdown because I wasn't in the vibe, but I'm back now! Currently I'm going through lotr, and I've just started the two towers. Reading is such a fun activity for me, and I sincerely look forward to reading every night, even if it's just a page
During lockdown I didn't really read much, but instead I got much more into twitch. I used to watch replays casually, and maybe watch a few lives here and there, but it wasn't a constant. Now, however, I have a weekly schedule with something pretty much every night (and if not, I'll watch replays). For instance right now, I have la soirée du lundi on Mondays, Popcorn on Tuesdays, replays or casual streams on Wednesdays, Backseat on Thursdays, la soirée est tienne on Fridays, replays or casual streams on Saturdays, and Indiemanche on Sundays. These shows, and these streamers do bring a smile on my face every time I watch them, I love their good and chill vibe.
Fandom (and particularly the rnm fandom, and everyone on discord ❤️) is such a great thing, and really makes me happy (and the Tumblr block and filtering aspects). Writing fics, reading fics, seeing amazing gifs and fanart, is such a wonderful thing. And I love being a part of it all, it's such a great feeling to have ppl from all over the world liking the same thing and talking about it
So this is the list, I think this is a good summary of what makes me happy, tho there's for sure more stuff! Like food, and going to the gym, and watching the flowers outside and many more things.
I realised during lockdown and during my first year of uni that I was not very happy in general, so I decided to start with small things and spending a few moments a day just sitting down and listing one thing that made me happy that day.
And those five things listed up there and the ones that make me the happiest, so I'll keep doing those (sorry babe @the-magpieprince , that means I'll probably keep renting to you ❤️😂)
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10 first lines
share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics / wips
hi @teeteringpileofunusednotebooks and @nv-md! tysm for the tag + i’m sorry i’m so late!! mari – i’m ridic excited for your stupid number of WIPs – also i feel like you’ve started writing at least? two more? since you posted your version? i’m laughing, but with love. ali – your lines are all so perfect and make me miss ur writing so much! nv-md binge incoming!!!
the last time i did this was exactly 10 published fics ago, so this is actually perfect timing! last time i also completely ignored the rules and talked in-depth about each line, and u kno what? tumblr is about the only place i feel comfortable being stupidly self-indulgent, so here we are again lmao 🙈
in reverse chronological order:
1. For Lack of Wanting (8.4k, E, unrequited drarry)
I was obsessed with him, you know.
(this line and also the entire first section is so tell-y but tbh i purposefully didn’t care. i just wanted to write some fucked-up unrequited roleplay sex, you know? sometimes you have to forget about writing good and just treat urself)
2. Still the pine-woods scent the moon (15.5k, E, remus/harry)
It seems like a reasonable idea, at first.
(so this fic actually started off as a sirius/harry after i went on a huge @lqtraintracks bender one weekend [and if u haven’t already, stop what ur doing and go inhale all 19 lqt sirius/harry fics immediately]. then i realised there was nothing i could really add to a sirius/harry fic that hadn’t been done already - but i came across this art and it lodged itself into my brain forever. it’s just the vibes, u know?? how soft remus looks but also the way he’s looking right at the camera?? that man is in CONTROL. so anyway then obv i needed to find a way to get him into grimmauld place so he could walk in on draco fucking harry in the arse. thus: first line.)
3. Ferrety Little Mouths and How to Snog with Them (5k, T/M, soft drarry kissing)
“And she lost her shit, can you believe it?”
(can’t rly take credit for this one; this whole section with draco talking about his ex is almost word-for-word a convo i had with a friend about their ex and their friend who was weird about it. not quite sure the phrase “she lost her shit” was used, but that was def the vibe.)
4. Two to Lie and One to Listen (85k, E, drarry fake relationship [sort of])
She’d got another letter from the Ministry that morning. It was from the Muggle Liaison Office this time.
(god, this fic. in the very first draft, hermione was the legit villain: the sort of friend who is well-meaning and loudly supportive, but is lowkey bigoted and doesn’t think that queer relationships are as meaningful as straight ones. then before the first big rewrite i started thinking more about her motivations and had the idea of making her trans – both to give her a non-bigot reason for agreeing to help draco hide his sexuality and not tell harry about it [it’s all about the trauma, folks!!], but also as a nice little fuck-you to jkr. so then she needed more of her own storyline, bc it felt like a bit of a cop-out to be like “hey this character is trans i swear! anyway let’s mostly ignore her and have her get in the way of the main pairing” [which, honestly, is still sort of the vibe of the fic], so she got her big Let’s Change The World Campaign.
the first version of this prologue was from draco POV; the second version was hermione POV but she was sooo mean and angry; this one is the third attempt. i wanted to show her desperate attempts at making any kind of change, anywhere at all, so it’s a bit more plausible that when she runs into draco malfoy, she’s like “ok yeah sure let’s pretend to be boyfriendgirlfriend!” lol. also does it bother anyone else that there are three different tenses in this one line? everything about this fic makes me sick lmfao)
5. Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it) (10k, T, epistolary author!harry/publishing-grunt!draco)
CURRICULUM VITAE: Draco L. Malfoy
(can’t remember whose idea it was to start with a cv? it seems like the sort of lazy backstory shortcut i would do, lmao, unless it was actually @lastontheboat’s idea, in which case it was a genius move to introduce draco’s work struggle and set the tone for his journey thru the rest of the fic)
6. An Auror Error (1k, T, stupid drarry auror fic written in tongue-twisters)
Harry shivered under Malfoy’s stern glare.
(1. wanted it to be left a bit ambiguous what harry’s actually feeling here [reality: he’s shivering bc he thinks draco is sexy when he glares, but also he could be scared bc he’s being interrogated?] 2. playing around a little bit with the s/sh sounds. easing into the nonsense to come.)
7. Eight o’clock, tomorrow evening (11.5k, E, drarry legilimency sex)
It was seven fifty-five, and Draco’s stomach churned.
(listen, i thought i was doing something with the title being a line from the end of The Four Doors, which this fic is a lil sequel to. this first line was (a) tying that together even more and also (b) establishing the POV switch from harry POV in 4D)
8. The Taste of Țuică (15k, E, ron/harry/draco)
Mum always says my problem is that I care too much. I think that’s nonsense, honestly—one of those meaningless things mums say to make you feel better about overreacting to stupid shit. But I can’t deny that I care about my friends. I mean, really care about them. You know?
(i’m including the whole first line here instead of just the sentence bc i was trying to do sooo much here, lmao. first, i wanted to really ground this fic in ron POV, and the weasleys are so very Family [u know??], so i wanted to get that in asap. i also wanted to get in ron’s maybe-demisexuality in there – i love love LOVE getting characters to explicitly state something about themselves while also simultaneously not realising it at all [seriously i do this all the time, promptly forget about this if ever u plan to read one of my fics bc it will be all u can see now haha] and this absolutely an example of that. poor old ron is going “hey i love my friends soooo much, i love hermione, and also i love harry, i just love them both SO MUCH. wait why tf did i kiss harry that one time???” what a chump.)
9. Belatedly Consummated (4k, E, drarry post-arranged marriage fuck)
The problem is: Harry can’t stop touching Draco.
(idk man i just really liked the thought of these two idiots having to cohabit and try to remain platonic while they get a magical boner every time they touch each other ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this one also gave me a chance to do another thing i rly like to do, which is take the first line and make it the last line, except the last line is somehow Resolved. last lines are fuckin HARD, i use this trick all the time, pls also forget this one before reading any of my fics, ty)
10. Show them the night that they dreamed about before (6.5k, E, percy/harry/draco)
Draco’s first thought is, Huh, Potter’s here again.
His second thought is, What is he doing, bent over the desk like that?
His third thought is, Oh. Weasley is fucking him.
(i think this was the first thing i wrote for this fic and i lowkey still love it. i think it’s maybe a bit confusing? clunky? i feel like one of my beta’s didn’t like it? but it makes me laugh and also i enjoy the mental image of percy going to town on harry and draco standing there experiencing a whole-ass face journey while otherwise completely motionless, so.)
BONUS WIPS:
1. 10k/15kish written, E, silly drarry vagina fic
As soon as Harry wakes up, he knows that Something is Not Right.
(i feel like this might stay the same in the final version? this wip is about 5 years old lmao but i’ve been playing with this beginning section a bit recently. have made it 100% sillier and imo it’s improved it so much. still not sure i’ll ever finish it.)
2. 27k/50kish written, M, drarry polyjuice clubfic
In general, Harry is grateful for Hermione’s efforts to keep him alive.
(i strongly suspect i’m going to rewrite this entire first scene once i actually finish the fic and realise there are secret themes that currently elude me. atm it works as a way of getting them to where they need to be [on a brisk morning walk!] and also as a joke later on in the fic, but there’s nothing else really going on with it.)
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god i’m so sorry for hijacking a simple tag game to talk about myself at such obnoxious length ;_; hope it encourages more writers to talk about their processes tho, i need more fic writing meta content now galla’s bonus podfic episodes are offline. tag me if u do this / come across this pls!!! love u ❤️
#ali idk why i can't tag u properly this happens all the time i'm so sorry ;_;#if you've blocked me but also tag me in things occasionally that's such a power move and i respect it#fair warning to anyone tempted to click the read more button: this post is 1.5k words long#be kind to urself and keep scrolling x#my fic#tag game
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Why don’t you think Paul and John were having a physical relationship. It seems to be more of a consensus that they were from what I’ve seen of mclennon blogs. and why ship them if you don’t think they were together
Oh God, nonny. I realise you sent this ages ago, but I'm somewhat reluctant to go into this currently.
But, the short answer is: I do think they had a physical relationship. What I don't think happened was a secret affair where they were open with themselves, or each other, about their attraction. Nor do I think they would have considered what they were doing together as 'sex'. Longer stuff under the cut to save everyone's eyes.
I think essentially they'd act differently if they were having an affair. For example, we see them joking about it in Get Back. We know that both J&P were very keen not to been seen as gay. See: Bob Wooler, Paul's weird quote to the scruffs about why he had to get married, that interview where they're all complaining about being seen as queer if they aren't seen with women. So, joking about it on camera seems weird if they knew they had something to hide. It feels so wildly different from say, Brian suing someone for insinuating he was gay a few years earlier.
That's not all, of course. John literally says during the break up that perhaps they should have tried it and that "would have satisfied it". Paul is also... baffled by what's happening in the break up, which he surely wouldn’t be if they’d literally been together and then broken up. There's also this sort of vibe of unfulfilled something about it all ('estranged fiance'), and the way they keep almost trying again. It just feels a bit... I dunno, unfinished somehow. That's why I essentially think they didn't.
Plus, they were both SO fucking repressed and weird about each other, I just don't believe they did anything that they couldn't laugh off.
As for the second part... I think people mean different things by shipping to be honest. In this context, I mean it to be, "I'm really interested in this relationship and would like to explore it." For me that comes in two parts. One of which is trying to ascertain what I think actually happened. What I think their dynamic was and what factors played into that. The second part of it, is just to play with them like Barbies and making them kiss (like I did with my Barbies). I guess also to 'fix' the problems I've seen in part one, and use fanfic to help me untangle my thoughts about it all.
I'm also not really sure what the consensus is to be honest. I've seen it run the gamete on tumblr. I also think most people tend to feel, I dunno, defensive of their place in fandom. Because it is very varied and people go about it differently. I don't think there is a wrong way - other than being aggressive or rude, I guess - but when you find yourself with an opinion that's at odds with other blogs, it can be intimidating. I really try not to be rude about my opinions and just leave those who I know for a fact don't want me on their posts or whatever alone. But as I say, I think it probably makes a lot of people feel a bit lonely at times. Or, I guess I can only say, it makes me feel that way. It's hard not to take it personally sometimes, but mostly I try to curate my blog and do what makes me happy. So...yeah. I may well not be part of the consensus on what ‘really’ happened. But that’s cool! People are here for different reasons.
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No fr like. I've been feeling the same thing tbh
Like I don't feel bad about posting other stuff but it sort of feels like a betrayal of some kind? Just a little bit? Especially cuz my blog looks like a Shiggy-Izuku Stan shrine, so when I start spam reblogging from other fandoms or talking about other stuff, I look at my header and pfp like "I've abandoned my boy. I've abandoned my boy!"
I think it's because I feel more comfortable posting and saying stuff about bnha than other fandoms, it's just a series I've been following for a long time so I feel more "experienced" talking about it, if that makes sense
I like talking and reblogging about other stuff too, and I LOVE bnha, but it also feels like a "brand" that I'm betraying sometimes lol (especially cuz of my header and such)
ANYWAY ndsjfdsuifjkfsd it's not that big of a deal for me on my end but I totally get what you're saying. I'm a multifandom blog and I'll always stick to that but sometimes I look at my blog like "I must look like I'm lying"
Also girl!! I'm one of your favorite shigaraki mutuals? 🥺 that's so sweet to hear from you! If I may take a moment to say so, I've been a fan of your blog for YEARS (I've only had my blog for 1, but even before I actually joined the fandom, I was still looking at yours!) and when I finally joined the fandom and saw that you followed me I was like "!!!!!" cuz woooow teapot followed me!! I feel like I'm at the cool kids table lol
So like. bottom line is that I've seen you go through a bunch of fandoms already so your OFMD brainrot and other fandom brainrot is nothing new, I always enjoy looking through your blog either way. Especially cuz your tags are funny af haha
Also I just like to see people happy! So there's that too
I'm sorry half of this is like. ranting. which I didn't mean to do dfnsdjfn but here we are. anyway yeah I understand what you're feeling with the fandom thing and also I love your blog 🥺👉👈
Yeah, honestly I feel the exact same way, you put it into words so much better than I did! That's exactly it, the true "I've abandoned my boy" experience.
There was a time when I truly was all about Shig, and I know that a lot of people followed me for Shig content specifically, so I'm often a little worried that they will be upset if change the content of the blog too much. Like I was saying, at times it felt more like a brand than a fandom and it felt like I wasn't meeting my followers' expectations.
Which is DUMB AS HECK because I know for a fact that 1) most of my mutuals and followers are very cool people who ALSO have other interests than Shig and will be fine with me just talking about other things that I like and 2) the people who are only here for Shig content can just unfollow me of they feel like they don't vibe with my blog anymore ... that's literally the whole point of Tumblr.
So yeah, I think that I'm getting better at handling this weird feeling, but it's oddly comforting to know that I'm not the only one who experienced something like this! XD
And yeah of course you are one of my fave Shig mutuals! :D It's one of those things where we've just been mutuals for a while and I always loved your posts and your meta and gradually realised that all this good content that I adored was coming from the same person and it got me like "wow they are so cool!!! their mind!!!" It goes without saying that I love Shig, but I also really adore Izuku even if I don't talk about him as much. He is in my top five for sure and he literally was the reason I fell in love with MHA in the first place! So your posts about them are just *chef's kiss* but I love all your other posts about different fandoms as well!
I'm glad that you're enjoying the OFMD brainrot XD I know that I'm not the first person to say this, but this show has been a healing experience on so many levels ... it's unreal. Shigadabi is forever my heart and soul, but after spending four years just desperately holding onto narrative parallels and begging Horikoshi to let them interact more, it's just so relaxing and freeing to like a ship that's just ... canon. Like, I never expected shigadabi to ever be canon obviously (shonen industry do be like that) but at times it felt like I always had to fight to justify my interest in their relationsjip, so it's amazing to just look at Stede and Ed and be like "oh my god these bitches gay ... good for them"
But yeah, now I'm the one who's ranting! Don't apologize for the long message, I loved reading it and I agree with everything you and really like talking with you! And like I said, you brought me a lot of comforts! :D
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Thanks @awesomedurraworld for the tag. Here it is. Tumblr has been being weird for a couple days and I had no idea I got tagged.
are you named after anyone?
I am not named after anyone, but I have a cat my grandmother named after me? And if you ask my dad, he’ll tell you I was named after the place I was conceived (which is not true whatsoever.).
But, yeah, no.
when was the last time you cried?
Let me quickly go check my dms... April first and second were my last real cry days. (My puffy eyes we’re definitely just allergies.)
do you have kids?
No, not yet, but hopefully soon. I can barely wait to have kids. (If you can’t tell by my four or five baby or toddler Ed Elric fics.)
Wait... Do these kids count? (I’m too blind to tell if this is a good picture.)
do you use sarcasm a lot?
Way too much... I am trying to stop so I don’t always sound so mean. People here were I live just don’t get it much...
what sports do you play?
None anymore, but I used to play baseball and softball as a kid. Now I am mildly disabled and prefer going on a long walk or a run.
what's the first thing you notice about people?
Their eyes. What emotion do they convey? Eyes are the windows to the soul, as they say. People have a harder time getting their eyes to lie. And differently the vibes/aura people give off. Can’t hide that either... And, yes, I am only just now realising that I seem to have trust issues...
what's your eye color?
Some people say grey, some say blue, and some say green (But that feels wrong. My eyes only show up as green in warm coloured rooms and pictures.)
scary movies or happy endings?
I’m a sucker for happy endings. I can settle for hopeful and I do write bittersweet, but the extent of my “scary movies” is Doctor Who. I know. Judge me, but I like my babies to be happy.
any special talents?
Is playing very below average piano a special talent?
It’s gotta be that or I’ll need to resort to my ability to always have an injury of some sort as a talent.
where were you born?
Same place I live now. :)
what are your hobbies?
I love to write and draw the most. And many other crafty things grab my attention. I love costuming and playing dnd with my dnd buddies. Probably other things also, but right now, that’s all I’ve got.
do you have pets?
Yes, so many. I have a Walker Coonhound named Rollie that is my big baby. I have two hedgehogs. I have two ducks and lots of chickens, several goats (kids too), fish, two cats, and several other animals. Those are just the ones I dedicate my time to taking care of. The rest of the beasts are on someone else.
how tall are you?
I haven’t a clue. At least five foot six. That’s what I said when I went to get my ID, so that’s just how tall I’m going to be. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
favorite subject in school?
Definitely English. It was always my favourite. It’s so fun.
dream job?
My dream would definitely be writing and creating art while having my own children to chase around during the days. :)
I don’t really know who to tag because it’s so late right now... My brain decided not to work. But you know, if you see this and want to do it, feel free to. And feel free to tag me if you do it. XD
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thoughts on the doctor who special i guess??
i don't think anyone who follows me really gives a toss about this but?? what is tumblr if not a place to garble nonsense about the things that you like
i thought it was good! not great, but definitely good, i enjoyed watching it - i mean, i was extremely fucking excited for this, my entire personality was doctor who when i was a kid during tennants (first) era (i probably would have been more excited for this but had something shitty happen recently which kind of put a damper on things)
i love david and catherine so much :') seeing them back together and as the doctor and donna is just so fantastic, the entire episode could have been complete horseshit and i'd still enjoy it because of them
love the meep, love how campy everything is, love all the practical effects and you can really tell the plot was based of the comics, it really has that vibe and it's just -chef's kiss-
i think rose has potential. i kind of want to watch all three of the specials before i really come to any solid conclusions about her character but i like her and i think she has potential
hhgh the main thing i love was just the energy, you can really tell that people care about this, despite it's flaws there's just such a feeling of everyone being there because they're enthusiastic about it and you can feel that in the episode itself, lovely lovely lovely
okay oh boy now the negatives! a lot of it... didn't really make sense, i mean, it made more sense than most of moffats time on the show (and i imagine chibnalls as well)
first thing i'll talk about is the metacrisis thing
so donna recieves her memories back, gets timelord stuff back, saves the day, dies. that all sort of makes sense. but then she comes back to life
donna had a child, and half of this metacrisis energy was transferred to her, meaning that the amount donna had in her wasn't deadly anymore! that sort of raises a few more questions, but it generally makes sense
then why... does donna appear to die at all in the first place? you know, aside from drama. when donna's timelord stuff was reawakened so was roses which meant they both became fully realised doctor-donna esque dna hybrids, but that energy already left donna when rose was born..? so why did she appear to die? that doesn't make sense to me
and the uh, binary non-binary stuff...? help? i have no fucking clue what that's supposed to mean - the stuff that rose was talking about at the end. maybe i'm thick, but i really couldn't tell what she was trying to say. i thought they were going with, you know, the literal meaning of binaries at first, but then gender was playing a role in it so it sort of came across as rose saying she was non-binary? but i thought she was meant to be a trans girl? not that you can't be both at the same time if you wish but it didn't really come across that way to me. and even if that is what they were doing what the hell has rose being a non-binary person got to do with the metacrisis and timelord stuff?? she stands there and says that she understands herself now and i'm like bitch i dont?? stuff about the doctor always presenting as male or female and she doesn't have to or something it just. it just didn't make sense to me. almost started to sound like they were saying that trans females are both male and female which is uh what?
and then the real kicker was when her and donna said we're going to do something that as a male-presenting person you'd never understand, let it go
and then they just fucking released the energy and all the timelord-ness from themselves
HUH?
(i wonder if the doctor was thinking to himself for fucks sake donna could you have done that this whole time??)
so there was no explanation as to why they could just do that, as far as i can tell?
and. the male-presenting bit oh god i guess i have to talk about this too
as far as i can gather that was some kind of weird sexist joke? which is a completely bizarre contrast when you then use a term like male-presenting person which i'm not sure anyone knows what that even means (has tumblr female-presenting nipples energy)
it's just so unnecessary. donna could have said 'something that YOU could never do doctor, let it go' and that would have a. made more sense b. not have been sexist and c. been far more in character
weird
i think what this episode started to lack was the 'audience eyes' character. that's a big part of doctor who. that's the entire purpose of the companion. but this episode didn't really have that in anyone at all and it started to feel really overwhelming and disjointed eventually
i could talk a bit more, especially about the slightly excessive performative virtue-signalling. i'm alright with a bit of it to scare away bigots but definitely started to make me wince sometimes
oh and some of the characters rose and i think lydia (the scientific advisor in the wheelchair) felt really wooden and bland and yeah no
i'm not going to though, rambled enough already and i dont want this entire post to become me criticising performative '''''''''wokeness''''''' because that's not what it should be about
okay well i really enjoyed it despite the flaws and i'm really excited for the rest! i think these problems will be ironed out in the rest of the specials and i'm also really looking forward to the new series with ncuti and millie, i LOVED millie in corrie and i've got a really good feeling about them both
cheers see ya later
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tumblr is lagging in a weird way so i dont know if this is gonna post but
what if I killed myself huh, would that give a chance at the life ive always wanted. i dont even really want to kill myself right now, sometimes specific words just sound right when out together. also earlier i was repeating "she needs to sort out her priorities" in my head because that is the equivalent of vocal stimming to my quiet ass. also yeah im kinda sad about the vibe ive created in my mind around harry potter. its this non-existant thing but still i get like really wishful and sad whenever I think about harry potter. and by "non-existant" i mean that the vibe was completely created by ATYD and is associated in my brain with the whole hp world forever now. and its kinda awful. but also I shouldnt beat myself up over this. because im pretty sure the only reason the vibe stuck so hard is because when i was in one of my earliest depressive episodes, imagining conjuring flowers for myself was how i spent many sleepless nights. but also I'm pretty sure my mom isnt aware of what kind of person jk is, and its really awkward cause we have like two hp mugs and I wanna throw them out but then she said that if I dont wanna use them, she could put them in between the window panes. as decorations. which is even worse. it would be better if the reason we have them still is "we use them to drink stuff.". but I was really fucking tired when she said that and i didnt wanna get into conflict. anyways what the fuck was I talking about im so sorry. guess ive just been dealing with the guilt of still wanting to enjoy the idea of harry potter that i have in my head. and the fics. which admittedly suck a lot of the time. honestly like if you write hp fics just dont mention the differing dorms its really fucking weird, dont keep that weird sexist shit in. I mean, thats assuming that you don't like jk. cuz if you did you'd probably like the sexist shit. you'd probably like how every single fic has at least one "group of giggling girls". anyways yeah i dont really hate myself today, i just think my hormones are a bit rowdy. so i just feel shitty for no reason. its honestly the worst when you cant even pinpoint why in the fuck you feel shitty. anyways im gonna listen to music now because i have not done that in a long fucking while. seriously, i have not had the need to leave the house for so long that id take my earbuds, and otherwise ive been tiring myself out playing on the ps4 so ive not even realised its a thing i can do.
oh cool you can add the read more thing on mobile now.
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Here's what I missed on ! Tumblr !
It's pretty weird to return to this site after so long. (I'm not exactly a "Twitter refugee" as they seem to be called lmao, more like someone who, because of the whole Twitter stuff, realised that there are still people on Tumblr? And apparently the site stopped their weird filtering/post banning system bc they now allow porn again? Anyway,) I don't remember when I was last active on Tumblr because I deleted my old blog some years ago, but if I had to guess I was probably active from around 2013 to 2015/16 at the latest? And boy, there's so much new stuff...
Firstly, the quality and functionality of themes seems much higher? Maybe that's just because I'm older now, but there are just so many original and innovative themes and pages that, like, are so interactive?? And such a broad variety as well!!!
Adding on to that: Javascript is sort of forbidden?? The work-around is pretty fast and easy (just ask support for permission basically), but still, that sucks lol.
Then there's the whole "you can have an account but no actual blog"-thing?? Idk if I really like that. A lot of people seem to use the site like that, so it's apparently at least somewhat popular. But as a Tumblr-conservative (as in conservative about Tumblr, not a conservative on Tumblr) I must say that having a blog and customizing it was sort of the whole Unique Selling Point of the site, so... interesting choice. (As long as that's still possible I'm still happy either way, I think)
The whole Dashboard experience in general is just so different now. For one, there are ads? I'm not a fan of ads (shocking opinion, I know) and I'm sure had they done it right Tumblr could have become like Ao3 and not even needed them. Still, I don't mind them too much (haha certainly not bc I use adblock :) idk what that is, sounds very morally wrong to me) and I read somewhere that the premium version is only 40€/year, which isn't a lot a lot, but still unfortunate.
I can't even tell which features are new and which aren't most of the time (except for the replying to posts? and THE CHAT?? now that there is one I can't help but wonder why there wasn't one from the start?). I think there's a lot of stuff Tumblr implemented that used to only be possible through xkit before.
Speaking of which: xkit! There's a new version - xkit rewritten - and it's incredible. I didn't even think about re-installing xkit until I stumbled upon a post that mentioned it. Now that I am aware of its existence again, god have I missed it. Being properly on Tumblr without it just isn't the same, man...
Pretty sure the search and follow tags/trending/etcetc stuff is completely revamped as well, but I don't think I used that very often back then anyway. Once I followed a big chunk of blogs I just found new ones through snowballing.
The last thing I can think of that noticably threw me off was the slang? Like wtf is a blorbo? (I actually think I get that one now) What are those other scrinkly, scrumblo, beedy weeby words? Why do I feel several generations older all of a sudden? I can feel the immediate and visceral impulse of disgruntled rejection welling up inside me everytime I see people use any new slang word (or meme, looking at you old scorsese movie that doesn't exist) whose invention I wasn't there for. (please if you've been (back) here for a while, feel free to educate me on the new tumblr etiquette, memes and slang words, I'm curious, I wanna know)
Though that being said, the overall vibes have not changed much. It is still a site that embraces its nerdy lameness and unnecessarily deep deep-dives into ANYTHING. And after the last few months to years of seeing people attacking anyone and anything, and feeling angry/depressed every time I spent some time on my social media site of choice, I think this is a very nice change of pace.
#a bit of a rambly list on my thoughts of the changes on here over the years#god i remember when i first made an account here#my english was terrible#i did not have the first clue on how to change my theme or what that was even called#AND i was a full on larry shipper directioner (my first url was sth along the lines of “larrystylinsonmonstaaa”#i say along the lines...#i think that was it exactly#making myself a tumblr account in 2022 just so i can go on an internet powered nostalgia trip#this time i'm going to fully (and self-aware..ly?) embrace the cringe though#off into the void you go
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My HxH ships
Disclaimer: These are my thoughts on my ships to share with my Tumblr friends. If you’re some stranger who disagrees with it and it evokes negative emotions on you, kindly exit. I know the internet has a bunch of trolls/idiots that has a habit of harassing people because the ship is “wrong” or it doesn’t suit them. Well, honestly, I don’t really care if you agree with them because I don’t know you personally? And this is fictional so it’s not something to be taken personally or even seriously. Don’t confuse my personal values with what I like with the ships.
I can’t believe I even need to make a disclaimer on this because a bunch of people don’t know how to be civilized once they are anonymous on a social media platform. I will just block lol; BYEEE.
HxH I love:
Defintion - Actively ships them, willing to make fanfics of them if possible
1. Kurapika x Neon
This ship is so underrated it hurts. They may not be similar in terms of personality and views of the dead: Neon focuses more on the living and the present (that’s why she doesn’t have sympathy for the dead and tells Chrollo her fortunes are for the living), while Kurapika focuses on the past and mourns for the dead (his mourning for his clan). But I think both of them are very similar in terms of loneliness. Neon doesn’t have friends and lacks affections from her father; Kurapika is lonely because all of his clan members are dead.
I know the common barrier is Neon’s hobby for flesh collecting, but I think this difference is what makes it more complicated and interesting for me. Especially when Kurapika has been in many seasons under the Nostrade Family... it makes me wonder what kind of interactions they had since it was all Killua and Gon on-screen.
2. Hisoka x Machi
I actually had always liked Hisoka with Machi together. Hisoka seems to really like her and enjoys her company. Machi may seem irritated by him but I think she’s more of a tsundere? She still decides to patch him after the fight against Chrollo, and their relationship got a bit more complicated after the Hisoka vs Chrollo fight.
3. Tserreidnich x Theta
Okay, I LOVE this ship. This is right out love-hate kind of relationship. It lowkey reminds me of Clarice/Hannibal and I find this ship so fascinating? I don’t see a lot of fanfics of them unfortunately. So Legacy by Alltagsabenteuer is a blessing from heaven because it’s the only TsexTheta tag in AO3.
So far I haven’t found anyone else who loves this ship, so please identify yourself if you do.
I’m starting to think I like those complicated love-hate dynamics....
HxH ships I like:
Definition of like - Actively ships them, may make fanfics of them or not. But doesn’t think of them 24/7.
1. Pokkle x Ponzu
This was like, a ship that never really sailed because Togashi decided to kill them both. I think this ship had potential and I’m hoping they find happiness in the afterlife.
2. Chrollo x Neon
I actually really liked how they vibe together during this one scene (although Chrollo targetted to meet her for her fortune-telling abilities). I am a KuraNeon shipper but I like the idea of Chrollo being a 3rd party because I think it fits so well? Chrollo and Kurapika are enemies and I had always found it fascinating how both of them got entangled with the same woman.
Also, people be like “Neon is 16″ uhhh... Hunterpedia states she’s born in 1982, along with Kurapika and Milluki. She’s the same age as Kurapika and Milluki; and Kurapika is widely accepted as 19 now; and it does tally if you see the Hunter x Hunter timeline (although there has been several discrepancies and dubious canonity when it comes to the Official Hunter x Hunter database and the HxH manga timeline). I’m not sure why people falsely remember Neon as a year younger than Kurapika and use it as a common argument to not support Chrollo/Neon when people have no problems (except for some) when it comes to shipping Kurapika with Chrollo.
So... Chrollo be that Mr. Steal Yo Girl and Kurapika’s posessive reaction to it will be astronomical.
I am also hella gonna support the upcoming #kuroneoweek2021 in May! @kuroneoweek
So you bet there will be more fanfics of KuroNeo from me!
HxH ships I support:
Definition of support: Does not actively ship them, but definitely likes the idea of them
1. Killua x Canary
I love how Canary tries her best for Killua and she does care about him. I realised that Killua seems to have an issue with older women (e.g. Bisky, Elevator girl), but I think for girls who are about his age, he’s okay with them. There is a misconception that he can’t communicate with women well (probably because he has issues with his mother), but I think that’s just for old ladies - Canary is cool with him.
2. Hisoka x Illumi
It drives me nuts how these two have matching outfits. I know that they have a more of a give-and-take transactional relationships rather than purely friends, but this is fab best friendship goals. My friend loves this ship and I absolutely support it.
3. Retz (with either Gon or Killua)
The unreasonable hate on Retz is insane because “she’s ruining KilluGon”. I think it’s really refreshing to see Killua and Gon hang out with another girl their age. You can see that Gon is really sweet towards her. Killua is more suspicious of her for a good reason but he never hated her. Remember that Killua is not used to interacting with people due to his family background. In fact, as @u-named mentioned, Killua and Retz shares similarities in terms of wanting to be free from their family.
4. Alluka x Gon
I would love to see a fanfic where Gon starts to woo Alluka and Killua will be that overprotective brother, knowing that his best friend is a player. Alluka/Nanika healed Gon anyway, so she’s technically his saving angel.
5. Ging x Gon’s unnamed mom
Okay, this is a bit weird cause we don’t know who Gon’s mom is... (and screw that Pregnancy Stone theory, I just think it’s weird how Ging mentioned Gon’s mom in the tape if he never had a mom lmao; is he gonna say “which you don’t have” like ???).
I actually like fanfics that explores Ging’s life before Gon and various interpretations of who Gon’s mom is.
What Lies Beyond by Thatsoneperson is one of the best fanfics I’ve read when it comes to Ging’s life before Gon. The ending was really heartbreaking and I had always loved the “Gon’s mom was from the DC” theory because Yusuke’s ancestral father came from the Demon World and there were hints of Gon’s dark aura throughout CA and Election arc.
Somehow in my headcanon, I had always envisioned Gon’s mom to resemble Usagi from Sailor Moon but with Gon’s hair colour. Gon also has certain personality traits that are very different from Ging and I believe that came from his mother.
6. Meruem x Komugi
One of the most unexpected, beautiful, saddest, semi-canon pairings in the entire series. It highkey reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. It was beautiful how Meruem, a Chimera Ant that was supposed to be destined to rule the world above humans, became gradually attached to a blind human girl.
7. Killua x Machi
This is fucking weird; because of the age gap but I like to think Killua meets her again one day when he grows up, and they had some sort of flirtation because he needs to be on par with Gon when it comes to dating women.
There was actually a cute fic about that called A Series of Pick Up Lines by Yandere Shoujo where Killua was trying to use pick up lines on a woman because he wanted to try it out after knowing that Gon dated women prior and just so happens to bump into Machi.
#kuraneo#kuraneon#kuroneon#kuroneo#tserreidnichxtheta#tsextheta#hisomachi#hisoillu#killunary#killuaxcanary#retzxkillua#retzxgon#retz#allugon#meruem x komugi#meruemxkomugi#killumachi#tserreidnichtheta#ponzukkle
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Describing my aphantasia
i wanted to write down what my aphantasia is like because i figured some people might not know what it is, or might be interested in what it is like, from someone who has it.
The best place to probably start is defining what the heck aphantasia is! (i have the sources linked if you wanted to look more into it! be thankful i can’t use full apa formatting on tumblr, or i would have)
According to A. J. Lamar in A Dictionary of Neuological Science (source) (and expanded on in the wikipedia page (source)) aphantasia is, simply put “is the inability to visualize mental images, that is, not being able to picture something in one's mind.” A research also found that for some people, having aphantasia makes remembering, dreaming, and imagining difficult (source)
For me, it means that when someone asks me to close my eyes visualise something, there is nothing there, it’s completely black other than those colourful spots it i squeeze my eyes. It also means that i have no visual dreams or memories, and imagining things in my head is impossible. Honestly, my aphantasia could contribute to my maladaptive daydreaming. (A quick aside, maladative daydreaming is also a trauma response for some people, which is the major reason i do it). So, what do my dreams look like?
The best way I can think of to describe them is that instead of visualising, i feel. not just like, if someone in my dream handed me an apple i would feel that apple in my hand instead of see it, but also just... the vibes i guess? Sense what’s going on around me? You know how in movies, when someone is blind and using echolocation, and everything is black except the vague outlines of objects? That’s sort of what it’s like. except, only in the corners or my eyes and complete peripheral. In front of me, it is completely black. there is nothing there. I can wake up and remember my dreams (i had reoccurring night terrors growing up that i can still describe in great detail) but i remember if more as if i read it. Like a movie played out, and someone wrote the whole thing down like a novel. That’s what my dreams are like when i’ve woken up. Which is weird, and is probably why i have never been able to lucid dream. Memories are similar.
to be fair, i don’t remember much of growing up. I have repressed and all but erased those memories (for good reason) and most of the “memories” i do have, are stories that my mum or my friends from growing up have told me. But the few memories i do have, i remember them, regardless of whether i remember them in first or third person, it’s the same as with dreams. I remember them as if they were stories i had read. which i guess helps me separate myself from the bad memories i have.
and for the final thing that that research found, imagining. i consumed books like i needed them to live growing up, but when i read them, i wasn’t visualising anything. i could explain how it would be laid out if i turned it into a movie, but i can’t see it. it was always strange to me when people spoke about what they saw a character to look like before a movie/tv show, or when they fancast based on a book. because i can’t do that. maybe my aphantasia is the reason why, when i write a fictional piece, i use so many adjectives and have such long sentences. because i need that in order to be able to ““picture”” something. it also makes drawing a pain. i love drawing, but i cannot do it without a reference. the only exception is if i’ve drawing something a million time. otherwise the proportions are off and sometimes it ends up a bit uncanny-valley
i found out i had aphantasia when i watched a youtube video on the topic. i am a psychology major and the topic has always interested me, so i clicked on it out of curiosity. and when she described what it was, i realised that that was what i have, and that it isn’t something that everyone experiences. so, i will tell you an abridged version of what she said.
close your eyes and imagine an apple. what does the apple look like? is it red or green? realistic or animated? is it perfect or blemished? is the apple floating in a space, or is it sitting on something? if it’s sitting on something, what is it on? or is there nothing there at all? if there is nothing there, you might have aphantasia
if you have aphantasia i would love to hear what yours is like if it is different. because obviously there are different versions of everything, so yours might be slightly, or completely different! or if you’d like me to describe one of my old reoccurring nightmares/terrors, i could tell you idk
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