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#and i feel like ryan would be proud of me :'-]
1980ssunflower · 1 year
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nuzzles my face against my baby ryan 🥺💖
#f/o:💖what a fool believes🎸#tape entry circa 1980#SILLAY MODE ENGAGED#FACE OF A MAN WHO HAS JUST PISSED OFF MIN HFDJS#OOOO my baby ;w;#i miss him so so fucking much i like. literally had a breakdown abt how much i missed him a couple days ago ghdfjk#full on sobbing abt how much i love and miss him and need him here holding me#i really want to be vulnerable w him and wrap my arms around him as bury my face in the crook of his neck#oh god id do anything to hear him... i want to hear his beautiful wonderful angelic voice... IM TEARING UP AGAIN#everything about him... its so wonderful... him and my min-gi own my entire heart#id do anything for them... i love them...#thinking of ryans voice makes me tear up from how much i love and miss him...#i want to hear him tell me how talented i am and he knows ill be able to do all the things id like and be something great#that he knows im destined to be a rockstar and we all will get to be rockstars together :'-]#i want him to play w my hair while he talks to me and runs his other hand over my body caressing me#id like to hear him sing to meee#maybe we'll put on a record or just listen to a tape and sing the songs together#id also like for us to play some guitar together :-]#ive been making progressing again on this song last night that i had to put off w stuff + surgery#and i feel like ryan would be proud of me :'-]#but just auh my heart is so full i just love my baby more than there are stars in the sky type of thing#i want to take in his scent and be comforted by it and his presence and how im being held against him#holding his pretty face in my hands and looking into his beautiful dark brown eyes#smoothing out his hair and tucking any loose strands behind his ear#kiss his pretty hands... just all over just hold it to my face as i keep planting little kisses all over#on his finger tips where his callouses from playing guitar are eheh#anyways aouh ( blasts thunder road by bruce springsteen while thinking of ryan and me )
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aftrskool · 1 year
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cried like a little baby last night
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corroded-hellfire · 21 days
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I've got this image in my head of very pregnant!AYW reader sitting outside with her feet in a kiddie pool, letting the older boys splash around and keep her cool on a hot day. Maybe a cooler full of frozen treats at her side.
I have had this one in my ask box forever because I wanted to write something I’d be happy with and I think I’m there lol. I hope it makes you happy as well 😘
Words: 1.4k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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Of course. The August that you’re seven months pregnant is the hottest summer Hawkins has had in over fifty years. Of course.
Eddie could see how the heat was getting to you. Sweat would dot your forehead just moments after you’d step outside. Your ankles had swollen to almost double the size. It hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice that you were a little more irritable than usual as well. But your husband wasn’t sure what he could do to comfort you. Usually, his way of comforting you included wrapping you up in his arms but the one time he’d attempted to do that you’d given him a death glare that blazed hotter than the weather. He’d learned his lesson after that: no touching when the temperature is above a hundred degrees. 
One early Saturday afternoon, you and Luke are eating lunch while Eddie and Ryan run a few errands. Luke had wanted to go too, but ever since you started your third trimester, Eddie didn’t like the idea of leaving you by yourself. 
It’s quiet between you and your ten-year-old son when the back door bangs open, making you jump and swivel around in your seat–which was no easy task. Perspiration runs down Eddie’s forehead, Ryan’s own golden brown hair plastered to his forehead from the moisture. Patches of Ryan’s gray shirt are black and clinging to his skin from the sweat. If Eddie’s black Iron Maiden shirt weren’t so dark, you know you’d see the same thing on him. Despite how hot and sweaty they both look, they both have smiles on their faces and Eddie looks quite proud of himself.
“I f’ought oo were goin’ to da store,” you say around a mouth full of pasta salad.
“We did,” Eddie said, breaths labored.
“And we set up a surprise for you!” Ryan adds, his beaming grin stretching from ear to ear. 
“And me?” Luke asks optimistically, craning his neck to look over at his father and brother.
“Actually, kind of,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Come on.” Your husband waves the both of you over towards the back door before remembering he should help you up out of the chair–even though you’re capable of doing it yourself. 
The boys both run ahead of you as Eddie stays back with your waddling pace. It feels like no sooner than your bare foot hits the grass of the yard than sweat begins to break out along your hairline. You swear you’ll never complain about the winter being too cold again. 
“It’s small,” you hear Luke say. 
Your eyes catch on the short inflatable kiddie pool set up in the middle of the backyard, two white and blue striped lawn chairs set up beside it, and a large red cooler between them. The garden hose is hanging inside the pool, the green tube writhing like a snake as the water whooshes in to fill the empty space. 
“Cause it’s a kiddie pool, duh,” Ryan replies to his brother. 
“I thought,” Eddie starts, reaching up to rub your shoulders before catching himself, not wanting to make your discomfort worse, “you could sit out here with your feet in the nice cold water. Might help your ankles, too. And you know these two monkeys are always splashing so you’re bound to get caught in the crossfire.”
“Hey,” Luke protests, but Ryan nudges him with his elbow because they both know that their father is right. 
“And…” Eddie takes your hand and gently leads you closer to the chairs, where he opens the cooler that’s nestled between them. Inside there are different flavors of ice pops, ice cream bars, and cold drinks, all enveloped in gallons of ice that have a pleasant chill wafting off them. 
Words become trapped in your throat. Your wonderful husband did all of this for you just because he knows how the heat has been making you feel lately. And after you’ve been a pain in the ass. This would’ve made you emotional even if the hormones didn’t beat you to the punch. 
“Eddie,” you say, all other speech cut off as your bottom lip begins to wobble.
“Uh oh,” Luke whispers.
“No, could be a good thing,” Ryan mumbles back quietly. He was slightly better at understanding the emotional aspect of hormones than his little brother. 
“This is so sweet,” you say, turning to cup your husband’s face in your hands. 
“You’ve been hard at work cooking that bun in the oven,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Oven needs some cooling down though, she’s getting overheated.”
“Ahem,” you hear from behind you. Ryan moves into your peripheral vision, and you turn your head to look at him, sliding your hands down to Eddie’s shoulders as you do. The eldest brother is clearly holding something behind his back, and you scrunch up your brow as you look at him.
“Whatcha got?” you ask.
Eddie huffs out a small chuckle and presses a kiss to your temple before saying, “Ryan found something at the store he says is on every ad for the beach.”
“You bought me sand? The ocean?” you tease the boy.
Ryan rolls his eyes, another reminder that he’s a preteen now. 
“No,” he says. From behind him, Ryan brandishes a floppy hat, and he is certainly right—a woman is wearing one of those in every ad for the beach.
“Ryan, I love it!” you exclaim with a giggle. The grass crunches beneath your feet as you waddle over the few steps to the boy. He holds the straw hat out to you, a bright grin on his face at your happiness. 
“You know,” you say as you accept the hat from him, “I’d bend down so you could put it on my head but then I wouldn’t be able to stand back up.”
“Like crowning a princess!” Luke adds as Ryan laughs.
“Well,” your husband says, coming up behind you, “it’s a good thing I’m taller than Ryan then, huh? Or we could’ve just made Luke help you back up.”
Eddie plucks the hat from your grasp, the straw scratching lightly against your fingertips as he pulls it away. He steps in front of you, and you keep your head level, only raising your eyes to watch Eddie’s pale, toned arms lift to place the floppy hat on top of your head gently. 
“Your Highness,” Eddie says, bowing his head. Your giggle makes Eddie grin as he gestures towards the lawn chairs. “Your throne awaits.”
Twenty minutes later it’s as if the summer heat were merely an annoying insect that you’re only somewhat aware of. Even though the chill water of the miniature pool only goes up to midcalf, sloshes of water have hit you all the way up to your neck. The cool beads of moisture feel like heaven as they meander down your red tank top, though. The denim shorts you’re wearing will weigh a ton later since the boys’ splashing has gotten them so wet, but Eddie’s such a pro at taking your clothes off that he could use a little challenge this time. 
Luke and Ryan manage to find games to play in the small pool—after Luke’s failed attempt at Marco Polo, anyway. Toy boats glide through the water, a few of them on the grass from flying overboard. The two boys shout but they’re outside and having fun, and it’s nice to hear. 
The sound of the back door slamming shut reaches you as you tilt your head back, protected from the sun by Ryan’s thoughtful gift and the sunglasses you grabbed when you got changed. Eyes closed, you listen to footsteps in the grass as Eddie walks your way from the house. They come to a stop and you sense as he crouches down next to you. Lazily, you loll your head to the side and crack your eyes open. 
“How’re my girls?” Eddie asks, placing his right hand over the soaked red shirt covering your baby bump.
“Mmm, good,” you hum. “She’s very happy you bought strawberry shortcake bars.”
“I’m glad she liked them,” Eddie says with a chuckle. “What about you, princess? How do you feel?”
You pretend to consider his question for a moment before speaking.
“Kiss me?” 
You pucker your lips and there’s no hesitation as your husband leans in and gently presses his own against yours.
“Perfect. Now I’m perfect.”
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two-white-butterflies · 6 months
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is it over now? | c16
Description: You reminisce about a relationship that was never meant to be. Charles moves on - but you stay there.
Pairing: charles leclerc/short!reader
(not really that short, more like 4'11 - 5'3)
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yournamelovely: 1989 (Taylor's Version) is out now! I had so much fun being the only feature in the remastered album. Please listen to 'Is It Over Now?' 💙🦋 Thank you for this beautiful opportunity Tay!
liked by 2,382,012 others
>comments
theraindrops4: I'm so proud of you 😭
taylorswift: 💙
nickdevries: Don't forget us when you're famous. - yournamelovely: Who are you again??
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There were many different ways to get over a breakup; some of them included healing, traveling and finding yourself - but how could you get over Charles fucking Leclerc? He was everything that you wanted in a man - dimpled cheeks, monegasque accent, and a perfect family that you adored. He was everything you needed.
When he decided to call things off three months ago. You haven't been the same. "Congrats on your new song with Taylor! I listened to it and I can't believe you both kept it hidden for 6 years?" Selena chuckled while handing you one of Taylor's famous mocktails.
"It was supposed to be in my debut album - but it didn't make sense. Now, I think - it makes absolute sense." you chuckled, staring off to the side. Yep, Charles' new fling was a Slovakian model - who by all means, looked beautiful. Blonde hair and blue eyes, you couldn't find it in yourself to hate her. How could anyone hate an angel?
"Oh come on, we have to catch up soon. You still haven't told me about the thing with Charles." Blake's eyes narrowed, she leaned on the door-frame - eyes trailing back and forth between you and her kids that were running around the backyard. "What is there left to say? Our relationship was amazing - it ended and we're going in separate ways." you simplified, leaning on the chair.
Blake took a deep breath, finally settling down in between Selena and Ryan. "I always thought that you'd end up together," she admitted - although she sooner realized that it wasn't the proper thing to say. "Charles, ending up with someone? He's not the guy that dreams about marriage. Maybe in another life, I'll want something less." you looked in the deep horizon.
"Maybe it was for the better that things ended - you obviously didn't agree on big things. You deserve to be happier." Ryan butted in the conversation, sensing that you were in deep thought. "I guess," you agreed with a hum.
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yournamelovely: quickie mart mwahaha
liked by nickdevries and 1,239,120 others
>comments
yournamelover: WHAT IS THIS HUMOR? HAHAHA
charlos92: please get back with charles
destinyshanggggee: I WOULDN'T MARRY ME EIGHTER
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olenna_markiz: Congratulations lovie! @Charles_Leclerc
liked by 81,203 others
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hollyshit2: YOU LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER
bolld6: the look of pure love omg
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charlesandy/nforever: real eyes realize that she was the one ...
liked by 712 others
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derivativeofx: The way that he threw it all away 😭
leftovers8: WE NEED AN EXPLAINATION
yournameleclerc: huhuhuhu
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You thought that having the internet hate Charles' new girlfriend would make you feel better - but it honestly made you feel worst. The entire fucking world fucking hates her, thinks that she's better than you - but it wouldn't change the fact that he chose her. It wouldn't change the fact that you didn't blame her.
You would risk the world for Olenna Markiz too.
"There has been a flurry of hate in social media directed towards your past relationship and his new girlfriend. What do you have to say about that?" the interviewer cornered you. The grip on your hoodie tightened - you wanted to buy food, but the Paps found you. "This is about Charles and Olenna, right? I'll be blunt - our relationship did end on a sour note but it's not an excuse to be mean towards her."
"- at the end of the day, we're separately happy. Please stop making rumors about us or about her. Especially her - because umm she wasn't the reason for our breakup. Judging from the posts I see on social media, they're really in love. I wish nothing but the best for them." you smiled bitterly, walking away as your manager suddenly rushes to your side.
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ynandcharlesuniverse: 1 year ago, (Your Name) wrote 'Timeless' for Charles Leclerc. I believe that we were supposed to find this, cuz even in a different life you still would've been mine.
liked by 827 others
comments have been restricted.
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Charles_Leclerc: With the beautiful girl 💞
liked by yournamelovely and 1,283,930 others
>comments
romanempire3: beautiful pair omgg
carlandodestroyer: OLENNA MARKIZ IS LITERALLY MOMMY
obladioblada: does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night...
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yournamelovely: World Tour EP ... featuring three songs: lacy, nonsense and vicious.
liked by 3,283,012 others
>comments
nickdevries: LACY >>>
danielricciardo: LACY >>>
chickenpozes34: WE ARE FED
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"Hey!" you waved at the girl beside you.
It was a charity gala - benefiting the orphans of Europe. To your surprise, you were seated beside Olenna Markiz. The girl's shadow seemed to haunt you all the way to Texas. "Hi, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm such a big fan," she gives you a firm handshake.
There was cautiousness in her posture - like she was trying to determine if you were nice or bad. "Likewise, I love your work with Bottega and Mugler." you named, oblivious to the cameras that were pointed in your direction. "Really? Not a lot of people recognize me, to them we're just girls wearing clothes." she chuckled.
"It's hard to be a woman in this economy, but I assure you - there are lots of people who know how to appreciate art." you complimented. It was your dream to be a model - ever since you were little, you were always fascinated with supermodels. Alas, God didn't grant you with the suitable height required. "I just hope that I meet them soon enough," she whispered to herself, before returning her attention to the man on the stage.
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Olenna didn't know what to expect with her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. A lot of people in reddit spoke about her bluntness, that she was unapologetically human - often lashing out in her childhood star years. There weren't a lot of posts to go along. His ex valued her privacy, rarely even attended any interviews.
To her surprise, she was pleasant company. Often making jokes that she understood and found hilarious. It was easy falling in love with (Your Name) (Last Name), what Olenna couldn't understand was how Charles fell out of love. "It was nice hanging out with you, maybe we could grab some coffee in the future?" she offered, a foot inside her luxury car. "Sure, I'll give your agent my number." Lena agreed.
Happy to have made a friend.
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LET'S NOT PIT WOMEN AGAINST EACH OTHER
WILL FOREVER BE A GIRL'S GIRL
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mbappebby · 2 months
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Stargirl || Two
Ivy Carter (OC) x f1 grid
Summary: Ivy never thought she could achieve a podium in her first ever race in formula 1, but she did and made everyone proud of her
Requested: Yes, by anonymous: Hey! Loved the 1st chapter of your new series! Can I request one where Ivy gets on the podium for her first ever race and everyone is proud of her. Thank u x
Words: 1K +
Stargirl series
Taglist: @myluvtaeil (let me know if you want to be added)
Race day
Ivy scanned her pass before entering the paddock, she greeted fans as she was making her way to get to the Mercedes garage. Ryan could see how nervous she was but didn’t say anything, the pair soon enough entered the Mercedes garage.
Ivy greeted her team before making her way into her drivers room, she put her headphones on to listen to music to try to calm down her nerves.
“Hey, where’s Vee?” Susie asked. “In her drivers room, she’s really nervous but won’t admit it if you ask her what’s wrong” Ryan said. “You really know her very well,” George added.
“Been her trainer since the beginning, I can read her like a book” Ryan told them. “Why don’t you talk to her for a bit? Might help to her calm down,” Toto said to his wife.
“I was going talk to her anyways, I’ll be back in a bit” Susie replied as she made her way to Ivy’s drivers room and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Ivy said as Susie opened to door. “Hey Susie! What’s up? Am I needed in the garage?” Ivy asked. “No you aren’t, you also don’t have to hide from everyone that you are nervous. It’s understandable, sweetie” Susie said softly.
Susie was sat down next to Ivy, the rookie looked the ground. “I hate how Ry can read me like a book..” Ivy mumbled. “He’s looking out for you” Susie told her.
“Still annoying..” Ivy added. “I know you might feel like that Vee, anyways let’s have a chat to hopefully calm you down before the race” Susie said.
And that’s what they did..
After the conversation with Susie, Ivy felt way better than earlier. She and George were currently making their way to the drivers parade. Ivy made her way over to Oscar.
“Hey Vee,” Oscar said as the shared a fist bump. “Hey Osc,” Ivy added with a smile. “Look who it is!” LOGAN SARGEANT said as he walked over to the duo.
“Lo! Hey! Sorry, I haven had a chance to see you at all this weekend!” Ivy replied as they hugged. “It’s alright Vee, happy that you made it up here” Logan said.
“Me too!” Ivy added. “Carter!” Lando called making her turn around. “What’s up Norris?” Ivy called back as Lando started to walk over to her. Ivy quickly walked to stand behind George.
“Aww, you need to be protected?” Lando joked as Ivy smacked his arm, making drivers laugh at the duo. “Feisty as ever,” Lando mumbled as he rubbed his arm as Ivy just smiled at him.
“Nice one Vee!” Alex called. “Thanks Albono!” Ivy replied with a laugh. “I actually hate you,” Lando said. “Love you too Lan!” Ivy said and once again moving away quickly from Lando and placed herself near Lewis.
“It’s going to be a fun season with them,” Max said. “Tell me about it, imagine what it would be like if they were teammates?” George said. “Chaos,” Charles replied.
“They’re two kids, what do you expect?” Carlos added making them laugh.
//
The moment it happened.
“HISTORY IS MADE TONIGHT! IVY CARTER BECOMES THE FIRST EVER FEMALE TO FINISH ON THE PODIUM IN FORMULA 1! WHAT A FIRST RACE FOR THE 18 YEAR OLD ROOKIE!” Crofty exclaimed as they watched the Mercedes cross the line.
R: “That’s P3 Vee!! What a way to start your formula 1 career with a podium! Brilliant performance today, congratulations Vee!”
Ivy: “AHH!! I did it!! Thank you guys so much, I can’t believe it!!”
R: “You deserve that Vee, amazing performance kid!”
Ivy: “Thanks Toto!!”
Ivy parked her car in the P3 spot, she stayed in her car for a while before eventually stepping out and running into the arms of her crew. She took her balaclava and helmet before seeing two familiar people.
She soon saw Toto and Susie and ran to them. “Knew you could do it Vee!” Toto said. “We are proud of you sweetheart, so many girls will be looking up to you” Susie added as she kissed her forehead.
“Thank you guys!” Ivy mumbled before she had to go get weighed, she then put her helmet down and had a drink of water. “Vee! P3?! Proud of you!” George said as he hugged his teammate.
“Congrats Vee, so proud of you!” Lewis added as they hugged. “Thanks guys, a double podium for us too!” I y replied looking at George. “You know it!” George said.
“I’ll get you both next week, anyways congrats again Vee” Lewis added. Ivy felt someone squeezed her shoulders from behind, when she turned around she saw the Dutch driver.
“Go again next week?” Ivy said as she put her fist out, Max accepted the fist bump. “You know it, almost got me at the end Vee, congrats by the way” Max replied.
“Thank you!” Ivy added as she made her way over to do her post race interview.
“Ivy, a huge congratulations! P3 on your first ever formula 1 race, how you feeling?” JENSON BUTTON asked as the crowd cheered.
“I’m still trying to find words to describe the feeling, I just want to say that can’t thank Toto and Mercedes enough for giving me this opportunity. It’s a dream come true and can’t wait forwards to the races ahead” Ivy replied with a big smile on her face.
“Thank you Ivy, congratulations once again!” Jenson said as Ivy waved up to the crowd before giving Jenson a hug before making her way into the cool down room.
Moments later, Ivy walked out onto the podium..
Toto and Susie had were clapping proudly with big smiles on their faces as watched Ivy up on the podium. Ivy pointed down to them with a big smile on her face too.
“Toto and Susie Wolff looking very proud of Ivy, what a special moment this is for Ivy, she’s just proved to everyone that she deserves to be in that Mercedes seat!” Martin said.
//
Instagram
ivycarter
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Liked by susie_wolff, lewishamilton and 2,572,980 others
ivycarter: P3 on debut?! Words can’t describe how I am feeling right now. If you were to say to me a few years ago that I would have achieve a podium in my first race in formula 1, I would have never believed you. A double podium for us, very strong start to the season. Thank you all for all the support, means so much to me. Let’s go again next week!!💗
tagged: mercedesamgf1
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user61 Let’s gooo, congrats Ivy!!!
user2 Proving everyone wrong😌
user94 🤩👑
susie_wolff Proud of you sweetheart❤️
ivycarter 🥰💗
user62 Susie & Ivy🥹
user26 Susie and Toto looked so proud of her😭
user17 Stargirlll🤩
lewishamilton Well done Vee❤️
ivycarter Thanks Lew❤️
user19 Awh her and Lewis!!
user7 Congrats Vee!
user81 Stargirl for reallll
user43 🔥🔥🔥
georgerussell63 Proud of u Vee!
ivycarter Thank u G❤️
user66 Ivy and George are the best teammates this year
user9 Toto and Susie looked so proud of her!!
maxverstappen1 Well done Vee!
ivycarter Thanks brooo, I’ll get you next time!!
maxverstappen1 Bring it on lil sis!
user20 I love how all the drivers treat her like a little sister!🥹
user72 I’m loving her friendship with Max!!
user80 Let’s go Ivy!!!⭐️
user58 Queennn👑
olliebearman Ay! Congrats Vee!
ivycarter Thanks Ol!
paularon_ Come to the F2 paddock!!
ivycarter On my way!!
user62 My fav trio ^^
user19 I love how Ollie, Paul and a few others weee watching her🥰
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A Taylor Swift x reader social media au PLEASE! I know that you're a swiftie so maybe the release of midnights with songs being about the reader and the reader also being a singer. face claim- selena gomez?
oh my god!! i have the best idea and as always... taylena>>>> requests open enjoy!
PART 2 PART 3 PART 4
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𝖘𝖍𝖊'𝖘 𝖆𝖑𝖜𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
taylorswift
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taylorswift Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, will be out October 21. Meet me at midnight. liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 8,135,006 others.
yourname.official i say that's my baby and i'm proud 🥺
taylorswift 💕 forever.more their friendship >>>>>> tay.y/nslover they are my favorite thing in the whole world istg!
blakelively i heard it before you did ;)
yourname.official i was there DURING the process y/n_sink wait they were toGETHER?! sadist.sinks oh my god, I'M HEALED
tomholland2013 you guys did not just hear the scream that @yourname.official just scrumpt.....
y/n.official it'S TS10 STFU- tay.y/nforevermore they're like siblings 😭
yourname.official
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yourname.official i am so so honoured to be able to say that i will be featuring in a song with my heart (my hips, my body, my love) @taylorswift... trust me, you're all not ready for this. remember it. october 21st. liked by taylorswift, zendaya and 5,09,800 others.
taylorswift this has to be my favorite song... not only because it is the best on the album but because it has the most talented artist i've ever met in my life...
yourname.official i loVE YOU- forever.more the MUSIC INDUSTRY called it the best song? okay, HOW LONG IS OCTOBER 21ST GONNA TAKE??!! SHEAKWDBGJEDBEFKJSHF
blakelively new favorite song???
tomholland2013 you've bribed her haven't you? YOU? BEST SONG?
yourname.official oh hush, you're just jealous. zendaya atleast she figured out how you get the girl... y/n.sink wHOT?
e!news
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e!news "she's my best friend, and means the most to me in the world... being able to make music with her would be the greatest blessing ever i mean, she's TAYLOR SWIFT, i guess everyone has a girl crush on her!" - y/n y/l/n, 2019
"oh she's my favorite person in the world, she owns my heart. i love her so so much... i could never have come here without her."
" i am so so honoured to be able to say that i will be featuring in a song with my heart (my hips, my body, my love)" - y/n y/l/n, 2022 liked by taylorswift, sabrinacarpenter and 1,09,800 others.
e!news after zendaya teased a 'how you get the girl' lyric in the comments of y/n y/l/n's new post, fans have lost it thinking the former best friends of more than a decade have finally taken a step forward.
taylorswift
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taylorswift this is the BIGGEST thank you to all the people who've helped me in these past few years... jack, aaron, blake, ryan, gigi, mom, dad, olivia, merideth,benji, y/n and all the others who've stayed with me and supported me. midnights is officially out and i love you all so much! enjoy...
yourname.official oh my god, look at my talented gf 😌
forever.more GIRLFRIEND????????? blakelively oh, finally!! tomholland2013 taylorswift her?! taylorswift zendaya him?!
ememyers Can we talk abt her eyes?😭 or better her everything?😭💗
costataylorsversion omg i feel like a proud mom???????
snehit.13 more like she and y/n.official are our moms.... yourname.official okay, idk how that's so funny but exciting at the same time??!!
forever.more
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forever.more Y/N CALLED BLONDIE HER WIFE IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE SO DESPERATELY NEEDED??? p.s. did you like midnights? (I'M IN LOVE WITH IT) liked by e!news, taylorswift and 300,405 others.
donna'sversion icons, queens, lovers everything and more!!!!!!!!
costataylorsversion 🧣💕💕🥺💘
ememyers Just heard it on a plane….. damn it was so raw and so honest!
satanicmoosic LOVE THIS DUO THEY'RE EVERYTHING OH MY GOD MY HEART IS GONNA BURST SWEET NOTHING?? MAROON?? SERENDIPITY?? THEY REACHED RIGHT INTO MY CHEST AND PULLED MY HEART OUT.
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taylorswift didn't read the note on the polaroid picture... they don't know how much i miss her... liked by yourname.official, blakelively and 7,90,600 others. comments on this post have been limited
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yourname.official if you kiss me would it be just like i dreamed it? will it patch your broken wings? liked by taylorswift, tomholland2013 and 5,09,080 others.
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part 2? maybe more for the tour? idk...
have a good day <33
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fcntasmas-archive · 1 year
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There is a part of my head that’s like, ‘So you just watched a woman collapse and you felt nothing. Like, that’s not normal. You should feel...awful? Crippled with guilt? Like... But then I can also hear his voice in my ear. And he’s — he’s saying, ‘No, actually, you made the right call. If you stop riding, then you stop surviving.” And, I mean, I’ve heard him like that for years. Like when Blue Bloods first IPO’d, the first thing I thought was, ‘Oh, my god, Ryan — Ryan would be so proud of me.’ And I don’t really know what to do with that.
Class of ‘07 1.04 | “Soul-Crushing-Cycle”
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Rebel Yell -D.R.W
Author's Note: I am so happy to finally be able to put this out, this story took me ages but I am so very proud of it. Am I projecting here? Maybe. But hey, I too am living for the single life.
Synopsis: A shitty party gets turned around after a playful game of spin the bottle.
Word Count: 8.5k (you asked for it!)
Warnings: 18+ MINORS NEED NOT INTERACT. Alcohol, mild violence, foul language, rough sex, choking, spanking, slight domination, oral, fingering, raw doggin’ (wrap it before you tap the hottest guy at the party.) Smut but make it Danny with eyeliner. 
Pairing: Tattoo!Danny x Female Reader
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Have you ever even been to a party where you had a genuinely good time? One without awkward conversations with people you hardly know, one that matches the high expectations for a night that only happens in movies, or one where you have a few drinks and don't feel like vomiting all over the friend's car that drives you home? Well, this is worse than any party you've been to so far. Mainly because you're fucking ex and his friends are here. 
You pound the rest of your drink from the plastic red solo cup of Malibu and coke, who fucking made that anyway? It'll have to do until you can get a baker's dozen of shots poured for you to even think about being in the same room as him. The music is loud and obnoxious and the tile of the kitchen is sticking to the bottom of your Docs, but, at least you're in the clear. Looking around for a familiar face you find one of your girl friends you came here with, Summer. She's walking with your other friend who looks like she's had way too much to drink and is making a b-line to the bathroom. You do not envy them in the least, you would go and help but the anxiety building inside of your chest needs to be dampened with more liquor. 
Pouring yourself a more than hefty amount of tequila in your cup, you slam the whole double (most likely double and a half) shot down. You cringe and squeeze your eyes closed as you take a breath. You groan as the alcohol burns down your throat when you meet eyes with a guy across the room, some very tall drink of water with long dark curly hair, you saw him earlier in the backyard puffing on a joint with some long haired hippie wannabe looking friend with a stoner laugh to match.
You hold his gaze a moment in the crowded room, you think you saw smudged eyeliner on him earlier and had to keep yourself from nearly falling instantly head over heels for the bad boy in the black leather jacket and Church of Rock N Roll muscle tank. The combat boots and ripped black jeans with the chain hanging off his belt wasn't helping your cause either. He sends a small nod your way along with a subtle yet confident smirk that lights you on fire. You can't help but smile back, you can feel your heart race in your chest as you look away, keeping your cool as best as you can. You've been told before that people can read your mind based on the faces you make, subtlety not being your best quality. 
At least you have positive qualities, unlike your ex, Ryan. You had been dating for about two years, your longest relationship to date and your first real boyfriend. It started out great, he was super sweet and funny, gentle and interesting. But he got distant, so distant in fact that he would almost never reply to your messages or calls until it was too late and you started seeing each other less and less. It wasn't until you were out with friends to dinner one night when you saw him there with another girl. Long story short, they had been talking for a while and hooked up a few times, poor girl had no idea you even existed. So yeah, the lying dick head was here and grinding on every girl in sight. 
Being single again after so long has been feeling so foreign to you, almost like you were doing something you shouldn't, forgetting you have no loyalties to anyone anymore. So fuck it. Tonight, you were gonna have fun and flirt your ass off. Why shouldn't you?! It's been almost seven months since your messy breakup with Ryan, might as well have some fucking fun for the first time in a while. And hey, if you end up having some stupid one night stand, who cares? You're owed at least one good orgasm that's not by your own hand. 
The music is thumping through the house and you've had enough to really feel the music and let your body talk for you. You make your way over to the makeshift dance floor and sway to beat. Closing your eyes and just allowing yourself to let go of the anxieties you were holding on to. You meet eyes again with that curly haired guy again through the crowded floor, damn he's good looking. He takes a sip of his drink, eyes not tearing away from you as you sway your hips up against some girl behind you. She laughs and begins dancing with you, she spins you around and you get lost in the song, your eyes only flitting away to the guy leaning up against the wall who keeps meeting your eyes, his conversation with the three other guys he's with be damned. 
The crowd moves to the kitchen as someone brings up the idea of playing spin the bottle. It seems like the whole party has decided to gather in the kitchen, to play or just spectate around the round dining room table. You stand at the table and your stomach drops into your shoes when your ex is almost directly across from you. You move to leave when the hot guy you've been eyeing all night stands right beside you. 
"Hey." The tall drink of water says accompanied with a smile that makes you mirror his expression. "Hi." You reply almost shyly, he's quite intimidating to be honest, maybe it's the bone structure or his clothes but something about his warm brown eyes that makes you feel safe to talk to. "Big fan of spin the bottle?" He asks. "I've never played." You answer, fiddling with your rings, your eyes take in his appearance now that he's right in front of you, his smudged eyeliner making your heart skip a beat, fuck he's hot. 
"The rules aren't very difficult, I'm sure you'll be a natural at it." He teases, a smile pulling at your lips as he gets a chuckle out of you. "Well, if anything, I think it's a great way to make friends." You counter flirtatiously that makes the man smirk. "I'm Danny, by the way." He says introducing himself, finally giving a name to the gorgeous face, you extend your own introduction when all of a sudden a voice rings out, "Alright, fuckers listen up!" A guy begins to shout, holding up an empty beer bottle. "I don't care if you're gay, straight or anything in between! A spin is a spin! So either play or don't." The guy finishes before spinning the bottle, starting the game. You exchange a look to Danny who keeps his ground, ready to play, come what may.
The bottle spins several times with no real wild kisses exchanged. You're nervous for when it will land on you. The empty Dos Equis bottle is spun and the girl on the other side of you gets a kiss, prompting your turn to spin. You take a deep breath before and your bottle is spinning rapidly, you're practically sweating as the bottle begins to slow, coming to a stop on the long haired stoner guy Danny was talking to earlier. He's cute, tall, tan, with a sweet disposition, why not? The crowd around the table "oohs" as the stoner walks over to you. 
He gives you a small but gentle kiss, his hand on your cheek, he tastes like tequila and weed, he smells like cologne and his lips are a little dry, probably cottonmouth. The kiss doesn't last long but the excitement from the kiss makes you buzz with confidence. The guy gives you a wink before walking silently back to his side of the table. You take your place back next to Danny, he whispers in your ear, "I see you've met Sam." He jokes, "Well Sam's a pretty decent kisser." You smile back, Danny gives you a chuckle before he looks back at the game unraveling ahead. 
The bottle spins and spins for a few turns, you and Danny quip back and forth, passing the time and flirting a bit as the game rolls on. Danny even gets landed on by a friend of his, some shorter long haired guy who joined him by the wall near the living room dance floor. It's short but kinda cute to see two guys kiss without making a big deal about it, but instead joking about, "Who hasn't kissed their friends before?!" The friend laughs before going back to his spot, saying something in a very drunk and very fake accent. 
The bottle takes a few more spins, you watch uncomfortably as your ex kisses some red headed girl for a little too long and gets a little too handsy, only egging on the crowd. You roll your eyes, crossing your arms and standing awkwardly. Danny gives you a look, tearing his eyes away from the scene ahead. "Will these two just get a room already?" He whispers to you. You can't help but show an uneasy expression, Danny must sense your discomfort because he asks you very gently, "Hey, you okay?" You nod quickly in silence, offering no reply. You look over at him, almost ashamed, "That's my ex." You say with a bitter taste left on your tongue. "Oh. Well he seems like a real stand up guy." Danny comments with a sneer, watching as Ryan practically sticks his entire tongue in the girl's mouth. It's like a train wreck, it's awful but you can't look away. A red solo cup is held in front of your face, "Here. You need it more than I do." He hands you the rest of his drink. From the smell of it, coke and fireball, which you happily sink the rest down, you sigh with a slight cringe as the drink slides down your throat. Danny brings his hand to your back comfortingly, "Good girl." He praises. That phrase shouldn't affect you the way it does but holy hell do you feel like a whole new woman. The pair finally disconnects and the game continues on. 
Your friend Summer appears behind you tapping your shoulder. "Oh there you are! Danny! This is my friend Summer!" You can already hear the semi drunkenness in your voice as you're introducing her to Danny. He smiles charmingly, "Hi, it's good to meet you." He introduces himself, "Oh, hi." She smiles, but you notice she's got her purse and your other drunk friend in tow. 
"We're leaving, Mari is a mess and I'm tired. Are you coming?" She asks, her keys jingling in her hand. They are your ride, but your night just got interesting. Fucking carpooling. You look back at the table and roll your eyes as you come to the realization that the party for you is probably over. "I mean, um, I guess-" "If you want, I can take you?" Danny interrupts, "If you don't wanna go, I can drive you later if you like?" His offer hangs in the air for a moment as you look at your friend, speaking practically telepathically with the other if that all sounds okay to the other. "Yeah. That would be great actually. Only if you don't mind, I don't wanna put you out-" "It's really no big deal." Danny assures you with a smile. Your friend shrugs, "Alright then. Just text me when you get home, okay?" Summer smiles at you knowingly. You widen your eyes at her turning your head so Danny doesn't see your obvious smile as she walks away. 
"You really don't have to do all that for me, I can take an uber or something later." "It's really no bother. Besides, I'd hate for you to miss out on having a good time. I think you deserve it, especially since that asshole gets to, I think it's only fair that you do too." Danny smirks as he motions to Ryan. You smile, your heart thumping in your chest with excitement at the idea of Danny driving you home. 
The game continues on and the guy next to Danny gets a kiss from some girl and it's Danny's turn to spin. You make accidental eye contact with your ex who just chugged the rest of his drink while his buddies laugh about something. It makes you practically freeze in an almost anxious fear until you hear the spinning glass begin to slow on the wooden table. The last rotations make its way around until the end of the bottle is pointed at you. 
You take a moment to even realize it's pointing at you, you look up at Danny, he wears a face of 'I'm down if you are.' A small smile pulls at your lips, this was exactly what you were hoping for when you joined the game. You step forward shyly, Danny brings a hand gently to your chin, "Let's give 'em a show, huh?" He rasps against your lips, only quiet enough for you to hear. You nod before bringing your own hands to his chest, letting him take you to his lips. His lips slot gently against your own, you move in time with his lips. His hands venture down to your waist, pulling you close to his body, he's so tall it makes you feel like swooning here in his arms. The crowd hoops and hollers loudly as you let him slip his tongue in your mouth, your nails come to his back, clawing into the back of his leather jacket. He smirks against your lips, his hands wander down toward your ass, but stays respectfully on your lower back. You bite his bottom lip, grinning as you meet his eyes again, they're darker than before and you want nothing more than to keep kissing him. 
You almost completely tuned out the woo’s of the party goers around you until now. You smirk at Danny, knowing damn well you put on a good show, and knowing even more that he's a great fucking kisser. 
"Fuckin' slut." A scoff sounds across the room. You turn your head fast to the voice the comment came from. Ryan rolls his eyes as he toys with his empty red cup. Before you can say a word, Danny stands up straight, "What the fuck did you just say?" He asks, his voice is deep, completely sincere in his question and it commands the room in a way that makes Ryan look in his direction. He scoffs again, the crowd hums with whispered excitement, "Just funny is all, a little desperate I think." Ryan says. "It's just part of the game, dude." Danny laughs. “Danny, really, it’s fine.” You say quietly, you gain his attention and he looks upset. “No, I think he’s a fuckin’ asshole.” Danny says to Ryan and the rest of the party. Ryan steps closer, his gaggle of idiot friends behind him making their way through to the side of the table by you and Danny. Sam comes up silently behind you and Danny, getting ready to jump in if the situation calls for it. 
“I just think maybe she and I broke up too soon, especially because she was never that freaky with me.” Ryan smirks at you, his friends laugh at his statement. Danny bows out his chest and looks down at Ryan who is only a few inches from meeting Danny’s eyeline. “Maybe you should learn to shut your mouth before it really gets you in trouble.” Danny threatens, his jaw is clenched as he stares Ryan down. “I’m not talking to you anymore, I’m talking to her.” Ryan says as he tries to walk past Danny and toward you, you take a step back, Sam places a hand on your shoulder to help guide you away from your ex while Danny puts an arm out, keeping you out of Ryan's reach. “I have nothing left to say to you.” You say, anger and anxiety adding a tremble to your voice. “We don’t have to talk, baby, what I have in mind doesn't require much talking.” He quips, your stomach churning at his words. “That’s enough.” Danny says firmly, putting a hand on Ryan’s chest, keeping him in his place. 
“Get your fuckin’ hands off of me.” Ryan shouts as he pushes Danny but he hardly even moves. “Then leave her alone.” Danny’s voice is deep and threateningly quieter as he steps even closer to Ryan. He smirks over Danny’s shoulder to you, "Oh come on sweetheart, just one last kiss, huh?" Ryan shouts at you. Danny shoves Ryan backward, he falls back into his friends. Ryan’s face twists into a furious scowl as he lunges towards Danny with his fist, but he’s too fast. Danny dodges the hit and swings, punching Ryan right in the nose. It spews blood as Ryan falls flat on his back onto the sticky kitchen floor, his hand comes to his face and his friends are too frozen in shock to do or say anything. A harang of people gasping and shouting and cheering echoes through the kitchen and it feels like time stands still until Ryan shouts, “You broke my nose?! You broke my goddamn nose!” 
“Then get the fuck outta here before I break your fucking legs!” Danny bellows at Ryan, his stance is intimidating and large as he leans over Ryan. Scrambling to his feet, Ryan stumbles as he gets up and to his buddies and begins heading for the front door. “Have fun with my left overs, asshole!” Ryan shouts over his shoulder. “You son of a bitch!” Danny shouts as he lunges forward, making a run for Ryan but Sam’s long arms grab a hold of his friend’s large frame first before he can even make it out of the kitchen, allowing Ryan and his posse of douchebags to run out the door. 
“Hey man, chill out okay. Just let it go.” Sam says, calming Danny down before letting go of him. Danny turns to look at you, his intense glare of anger in his eyes softening as they settle on you before him. “Are you okay?” His voice is soft as his hands hold your arms gently, bending a bit to speak to you. 
You blink rapidly as you try not to let the tears in your eyes fall. “Yeah, I’m uh, I just need some air.” Your voice cracks before you turn and walk out the back door to the backyard, letting the cool breeze of the night wind calm the heat of your embarrassed face. You look up and stare at the crescent moon in the sky, taking in a deep, yet shaky, breath and you can’t help but feel absolutely mortified by the scene that just transpired. 
Fuck Ryan. 
Fuck parties. 
Fuck this. 
“Hey.” A voice says gently, almost nervously behind you. You turn to find Danny coming out towards you. You turn back around and quickly wipe your eyes as you keep your arms crossed and your eyes trained up at the sky, dark clouds moving over the night sky and through the light of the moon. "I'm really sorry about all of that." Danny's voice is soft as he comes to your side. The thumping music from the party inside only makes you feel like curling up into a ball, never to be seen again. "It's fine. He's uh, yeah, he's not nice." Your voice is like a whisper, trying not to let it break as you hold back the tears that threaten to pull you down with them. "No, no he's not. I'm sorry." Danny apologizes again. "No I should be sorry, I feel like that was all my fault in there." You say, shaking your head. Danny's hand comes to your back, prompting you to look at him, "None of that was your fault-" "I should've just left when Summer said so. I knew he was here, him and his fucking friends. I hate that you got dragged into any of that. You don’t even fucking know me!" You say with a bewildered laugh as a tear rolls down your cheek. Your words hang in the cool autumn air for a moment before Danny speaks. "I think I know you enough to know that you're a really great kisser." He says with a smile, knowing that would make you forget about the whole Ryan thing, if only for just a second. You chuckle as you dry your eyes, "Oh my God, how could I forget." You smile at him, you can see his features perk up as you finally meet his eyes. "Besides, Ryan just seems like the kind of guy who deserves a punch in the face." He smirks pridefully as he thinks back to replay the look of shock on Ryan's face when he hit the floor. 
"It was kinda cathartic to watch the hottest guy at the party deck my ex in the nose." You smile playfully, turning to take in all of Danny's gorgeous face. He smiles charmingly, "Well, I'm just glad I got to kiss the hottest girl at the party." He muses before giving you a look that only makes you want to kiss him again, and again and again. You move to step forward but let your eyes wander to the house, a handful of prying eyes from the fight in the kitchen looking intently at you and Danny's conversation, only reminding you of how you wish you could be somewhere more private. 
"If the offer still stands, do you mind taking me home? I think I've had about enough of this party." You ask, crossing your arms to warm yourself from the evening breeze that seems to blow right through you. A smile pulls at Danny's lips, "Yeah I think I'm ready to go too, I'd say we made quite the impression though." He jokes before turning to leave, you walk along with him and head to his car. 
Your hands run up and down your arms, trying to preserve whatever heat you can keep from escaping your thin long sleeve shirt. Before you even really notice, Danny pulls his large leather jacket off and places it over your own shoulders. "There." He simply says. You smile to yourself before turning to him as you both walk, the whole thing feels like it swallows you up, the sleeves so long your hands aren't even poking through. "Fits you better than me." He jests with an endearingly sweet look, his smile is contagious and you can feel your cold cheeks warming from the blush on your face. You bury your burning face into the collar of his coat, relishing in the mix of musk and cologne of the well loved jacket. 
The ride to your place isn't too long, the conversation is easy and soon you're pulling up to your apartment. The silence in the car is heavy as you think of what to say next. "So-" "Do you wanna come inside?" You beat Danny to the punch, interrupting him. He meets your eyes with a look of subtle surprise, "I'd love to." He says, his voice low and soft in the confines of the car in a way that makes the butterflies in your chest explode. 
You show Danny up to your apartment, you close the door and take off his jacket, "Thanks for letting me wear your coat." You say before handing it to him, "What kind of man would I be if I let you freeze to death in the cold?" He jokes before taking it from you, hanging it on your coat rack as you both take off your shoes. You laugh before walking off to the living room, sitting on the couch, Danny follows suit and sits beside you. You both smile fondly and comfortably at each other, unsure of what step comes next. A familiar anxious feeling in your stomach begins to stir, one that could be described as really overactive butterflies when in such close and intimate proximity with a hot guy alone with you in your apartment. 
You cut through the silence with a scoff. "For the record, I just wanna say, you're a much better kisser than Ryan." You smirk, Danny chuckles, "I'm sure Ryan lacked in several departments." He smiles to himself, crossing his arms in pride. You stare up at the ceiling and huff a sigh. "Ugh, you have no idea." You wish you could say you had been in more of a slut era than you really were since your breakup, but honestly, it's been dry as hell. "That bad?" He cringes, bracing himself. "He was fine, just, I don't know, kinda… boring?" You reply, shrugging as you try and gently explain how your sex life for the last two years was less than satisfying.
"How bad was it?" Danny asks, you search the ceiling for a moment, Danny stirs next to you, sitting up straight, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry-" "No no it's fine! He just, uh, he just wasn't very um, creative?" You explain vaguely. Danny chuckles, "Creative?" He repeats with a smile, "Just that it was very vanilla I guess? He never really wanted to try anything new or different." "Sounds like he was pretty selfish." Danny extrapolates. "Oh absolutely. If it didn't end with him cumming first, he wasn't super interested." You explain irritatedly. 
"He's an asshole." Danny snarks, you just chuckle a knowing laugh. "Most times I had to use my vibrator later when I got home." You cringe with a chuckle as you recount the many nights you spent with a toy between your legs. "What would you think of?" Danny asks softly, "Oh." You pause a moment in anxiety at the idea of having to speak your innermost fantasies to this gorgeous man before you. 
Here.
Alone.
On your couch. 
You could feel the blush creeping in on your cheeks. "I uh, I liked to think about… ya know, getting tossed around, someone being rough with me." You confess, unable to meet Danny's eyes as you mess with the rings on your fingers. "Mmm, I see now. He was too soft? Too boring?" Danny speaks with a smirk that lights you on fire. "Y-Yeah, I uh, I'd bring up the idea but, he never really did anything new, maybe he thought it was weird?" You shift in your seat, ready to hear the judgment in Danny's voice. To hear the same put off tone like Ryan had. Instead, he places his hand on your knee, you turn to finally look at him. 
"I don't think it's weird at all. I like being rough." Danny smiles, you can feel the wave of relief washing over you. "Yeah?" You ask. "Mhm, to take control, to have a pretty little thing under me, letting me touch her all over, kiss her wherever, grab her however I want. Hear how good she feels." His voice feels like silk as he speaks, warming you all over. You can't think of a single thing that isn't a kin to 'fuck me', so you stay silent. You look over Danny's lips, he smirks at you as he moves closer. 
"Tell me what you've been dreaming of, angel, because I know I am a much better listener than that prick ever was." Danny grins, you can't help the hitch in your throat at the nickname. "Lots of things." You whisper. Danny smiles, his hand runs up your knee to your thigh, his large hand radiates warmth through your jeans to your skin beneath, fuck his hands are big. 
He leans in close, his cologne flooding your senses, his breath fanning gently over your lips as he brings his other hand to your chin, his eyes holding yours. "Did he never pull you onto his lap? Spank you over his knee? Squeeze his hand around your throat a little?" Danny asks, his finger under your chin holds you gently, your face is flushed as he tilts his head awaiting your answer. "Never." You whisper, your eyes practically begging his lips to yours, instead he runs his hand against your cheek, his thumb softly moves along your cheekbone. "Would you like that? If I did?" Danny asks softly, a rasp in his words sends a delicious chill down your neck. You nod embarrassingly quickly but it makes Danny chuckle at your eagerness. "Words, angel." He smiles. 
"Yes, I'd like that very much." You say, a slight shake in your voice, you almost don't even sound like yourself, you're so desperate. "Good. Because I think you deserve a good fuck." Danny pulls you in, a soft kiss at first, softer than the one at the party but it doesn't stay sweet. 
Your hands come to his face, to his hair, wanting to touch him where you've been dying to. Your kiss becomes more desperate, his tongue enters your mouth, your hands tug at his hair, he groans at the pull, smirking as he breaks the kiss, “Oh angel, that’s my job.” He teases before kissing you again, his hands on the small of your back brings you closer to him, bringing you on to his lap, he captures your bottom lip between his teeth making you moan. He pulls away, allowing you to grind down to feel his already hardening cock in his pants, you whimper out a pathetic sound at just the feeling of him near you. 
“You sure?” Danny asks, breaking the bad boy persona a moment as he reads your face, “Take me to my bedroom.” You sigh as you roll your hips against his. Danny sighs at the feeling of your movements before he huffs a small laugh, “Where is your bedroom?” He asks, you laugh, “Down the hall to the left.” You smile. With no hesitation, Danny stands from the couch, you wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to your room, his hands holding you close to him as he makes his way down the hall. 
Your room is warmly lit, a gentle glow from your fairy lights and salt lamp you left on, Danny sets you down on your bed before looking around the room, “Cute.” He simply states, making you roll your eyes. 
You go to take your top off, “Wait.” Danny interrupts, you stop your hands, dropping the material of your sweater. “Come here.” He says, you smile in response as you make your way over to him, clambering off the bed and standing in front of him. Danny brings his hands to the hem of your sweater, pulling the material over your head and off to be discarded to the floor. “Pretty girl.” He smiles, a rasp to his voice makes you blush as you stand before him in your bra. He undoes the button of your jeans, pulling them down your legs until you stand before him in just your underwear. 
You stand before him, his eyes scanning your half naked figure, he gives you a ‘come hither’ motion with his finger, you walk up to him, your doe eyes looking up at him as his hands come to rest warmly on your sides. “So pretty.” He whispers, his voice bringing goosebumps to your skin. His hand trails down to your panties, his fingers running over the already dampened material. You sigh at the touch, “Mmm, already so wet for me. Aren’t you such a good girl?” Danny praises, his lips right against your ear as he speaks, your heart nearly jumps out of your rib cage at his words. “Just for you.” You breathe, Danny smiles, kissing your neck.
He pulls away, his hands come to his own shirt, pulling his church of rock ‘n roll tank top off, tossing it alongside your own discarded clothes. You watch astounded at the beauty of his body, the dark ink of the tattoos you never saw are revealed as he peels the tight black jeans from his body, leaving him clad only in a tight pair of black briefs, the outline of his dick takes your breath away. 
Danny pulls you to him in a gentle kiss, he pulls away after a moment, taking you by the hand and leading you to the bed. He sits on the edge of the bed, he pulls you on to his leg, you sigh at the contact. “Wanna watch you ride my thigh, show me how bad you want it.” He says, his hands on your hips, pulling you down onto his muscular thigh, making you whine. 
You roll your hips down against him, a moan rolls out of your throat as you grind down, you place your hands on his shoulders as you move, his hands come down to your ass, dull nails digging into the softness of your muscle. “That feel good, angel?” Danny asks teasingly, you offer a hum as you chase the feeling building up in your lower stomach, “Tell me baby, tell me how you feel.” He smirks, his grip tightening and pulling you to rock against him harder and faster, “Ah, fuck, so good.” You whine. “Yeah?” Danny asks, his hand coming down hard on your ass, you yelp out in shock, the stinging a delicious blend of pain and a euphoric sensation that only makes you wetter. “How good?” He asks, looking at the way your eyes have widened and the way your mouth hangs open, his hands gripping tightly, “So fucking good, oh god.” You cry out.
Danny brings his hand behind your back, unclipping your bra and pulling you closer to him, his lips latching around one of your nipples. You moan as you rock back and forth on his thigh, his teeth grazing your nipple, his other hand gripping the small of your back, encouraging you to move. The wetness in your panties and the friction on your clit against Danny's muscular thigh, feels like nothing you've ever felt before. He pulls away from your chest, his hands pull you to him as he flips you onto the bed and lies you on your back, manhandling you and laying between your legs. He kisses you hard before sitting back on his heels, a shining wet spot on his thigh tattoo catches your eye, making you blush. “You need it bad, huh, baby?” He teases, grinning at the wetness on his thigh. 
"God yes." You sigh. He looks so dreamy under the lights like this, like an angel with his curly hair catching the warm lighting from the salt lamp. The golden hue makes his skin look so soft and warm and you cannot wait to feel him. "Then let me give it to you." He smirks, his hands come down to your panties, he gives you one last look for permission that you immediately grant him before pulling them down.
You can’t stop the instinct of closing your legs out of shyness as Danny tosses your panties to the side, Danny laughs a moment at your coyness. “Oh, baby, don't act shy now. Spread your legs for me, sweet girl, show me what a good girl you are.” Danny’s voice makes you sigh, no one has ever talked this way to you before, you keep your eyes on him as you slowly open your legs. Danny’s eyes travel down to your glistening core and subtly palms himself over his briefs, only making you wetter at the sight. “Fuck angel, you are dripping.” His voice laced in seduction as his hands come to your thighs, spreading you wider. 
“So fucking gorgeous, all laid out for me. I want a taste.” His proposition makes your eyes widen. “Fuck yes please. I haven’t…” Your voice trails off making Danny look at you with an air of confusion, “Haven’t what?” Danny’s voice in that perfect mocking tone that makes your brain hazy. You can’t help but blush and look away before answering him. 
“I um, I’ve never really cum from… oral before.” You confess. Danny almost looks pained by your statement. “Never?” he asks as his hands softly wander up and down your thighs. “My ex didn’t do that much.” You say nervously, Danny brings his hand closer to your core making your breath hitch, he leans in close to you, his face inches away from your own, eyes boring into yours. “With a pussy as perfect as yours, I don’t see how he wasn’t between your legs all hours of the day.” Danny whispers as his hand slowly glides down to your center, you sigh as his fingers bring your wetness up and around your clit, making you moan. Danny smiles as he watches your expression change as his fingers roll slow wide circles over your clit, your mouth hanging open. 
“Let me take care of you, pretty girl.” He says softly before kissing your neck, down your chest, your stomach, kissing his way down all the while his fingers play with your clit. Danny lays down on the bed, he watches as his fingers make a mess of you. “If it ever becomes too much, just say Metallica, that’s the safeword.” He explains, you simply nod. “No angel, I need to hear it. Be a good girl and repeat it so I know you understand.” “M-Metallica, yes, I-I understand.” You stammer out, “Good girl.” Danny grins before kissing your inner thigh, heading closer until he removes his hand from your clit. You take a deep shaky breath as Danny’s breath warms over your folds, his warm tongue licking languidly up to your clit. You sigh a moan as he takes his time, licking slowly along the sensitive bud, your hands clawing at the duvet beneath you. 
Danny’s mouth moves faster, lapping up at your soaking wet pussy. He moans against your core, making your back arch, “Fuck, Danny.” You moan, Danny brings his hands to wrap tightly at your thighs, gripping you to him, holding you in place as he eats your pussy. The delicious sounds of Danny’s mouth makes you whimper at the beautiful lewdness of it all. “So fucking sweet,” it was muffled but you just barely registered it from Danny, like it was never even meant for you to hear but you did and fuck that was hot. “Oh fuck, holy fuck.” You cry out, your eyes rolling back in your head as you clutch tighter at the balled up comforter beneath your writhing body.
Watching as Danny’s mouth works over you, the way his large hands hold you open for him and the way his nose nudges against your clit as he tongue fucks your weeping pussy has you moaning and your legs shaking uncontrollably. The prideful smirk you catch on Danny’s features makes your breathing more uneven than before, because he is so fucking good at this and the way you’re moaning is making him want you to cum even more. “Oh god Danny. Fuck, I’m gonna-oh fuck I’m cumming, oh fuck.” You moan out as Danny latches his lips around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves that has you clawing onto anything that can hold you as your orgasm takes root in you. Your hands come to Danny’s hair as your hips attempt to buck, but the firm grip he has on your thighs, move to your hips, pinning you down as his tongue fucks you hard and fast into the most intense orgasm of your life.
Danny’s name and a string of other expletives fill the air until you’re hit with a wave of pleasure so hard you can’t make a sound. Your body goes rigid, your grip in Danny’s curls is tight and rough, only making him groan against your core which feels like it's sparking like a live wire. Then something inside of you snaps and you can breathe again, uneven and labored breaths as you try to make sense of the bliss you just felt from this man you’ve only know for a matter of hours could make you feel like this, a million times better than a guy you were dating for two years could have ever dreamed.
His tongue slows to a stop as you come down from your climax, “H-Holy shit.” You huff out, you're in awe and just staring at your ceiling. If that’s what he can do with just his mouth, then you have to know what else he can do. 
You sit up and look at him with a look of insatiable lust. He smirks as he sits up and wipes the shine of wetness from his lips and chin with the back of his hand. “Oh angel, you look like you need more.” He teases as he sits up on his knees, the very prominent outline in his briefs pulls your attention away. “Please.” Is all you’re able to say. “I saw you sizing me up earlier, baby. I know you’re not as innocent as your boy toy thought you were.” Danny grins as he moves closer to you, his hand resting on the thigh of your spread legs. He moves to take his briefs off, you’re practically drooling as he pulls them off. His cock springs up and slaps against his stomach, “Fuck.” You whisper, a thought that wasn’t meant to come out. 
Danny moves closer to you, his fingers coming to your core, you almost jump from the enhanced sensation from between your legs. His fingers dip inside you a moment, you sigh out, your breath making Danny’s curls sway against his face from your proximity. “Show me what a good girl you are.” He whispers before pulling his fingers away and bringing them up to your lips. “Taste how sweet you are.” His voice sends chills across your body. Your eyes don’t leave his as you present your open mouth to him, sucking on his slender fingers. You hum against them, tasting your own arousal from his fingers. You open your mouth again, allowing him to pull away, but he doesn’t. 
His fingers rest on your tongue, “Such a good girl.” Danny whispers, he experimentally pushes his fingers back in your mouth, further back. You don’t dare break eye contact as he slowly runs his fingers in and out of your mouth. “Pretty little slut.” He smirks as you gag around his fingers, your eyes water, but you don’t retreat. “Suck.” He commands. You do as you're told and suck on his middle and index fingers, he sighs at the feeling. You release them with a ‘pop’, Danny smiles as he watches your face when he brings his fingers back down to your pussy, teasing your clit before pressing back inside of you.
You can’t help the moan that rolls out of your throat at the feeling of him filling you up. “Mmm, you are so tight.” Danny rasps, he moves closer to you, prompting you to lay back, his fingers slowly pushing in and out of you. He envelops you into a kiss as he makes work of you. You moan against his lips, grinding down on his fingers, your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of him grazing your g-spot. “I know baby, I know.” He teases you as he continues finger fucking you, his pace speeding up a tad. His hardened cock lays against your thigh, you whimper as his fingers move faster. “You need it so bad, huh, baby?” Danny’s voice sends a chill over you, “Mhm.” You can’t even speak it feels so good, playing your body like he’s done it so many times before, so intune with you for absolutely no reason, it makes your head spin. 
“I wanna hear you say it.” He says, your eyes look at him, almost shyly. “Yeah, I wanna hear you say it. Hear that innocent little voice of yours ask for what you want me to do to you.” He smiles devilishly, the sound of your wetness all over his fingers fills the room, making you want him even more. You move to speak, but his fingers curl up inside of you making you moan, “Oh fuck,” You whisper to yourself, trying to get yourself under control. “I-I want you.” You say, Danny just chuckles, “Oh sweet girl, you’re gonna have to ask a lot prettier than that.” He teases, he adds his thumb to the mix, rolling over your clit as he finger fucks you. 
“Mmm, fuck. I-I want you to fuck me.” 
“Not even a please?” 
“P-Please, Danny. Please, I wanna feel it. N-Need to feel it, fuck me.”
Danny thinks for a minute to himself, a smug smirk on his face, “Yeah, that’ll do.” He grins before kissing you, his fingers pulling away as he puts himself between your open legs. You hum against his kiss as you feel his hardened cock resting against your warm core, begging for more. You buck your hips against him, hoping and praying he'd understand how much you need it. He smiles against your lips, "Oh yeah? That bad, huh?" He teases. You open your mouth to protest but whimper as he slowly taps the head of his cock against your needy clit. You look at him with eyes of dismay, shocked how your body reacts with a jump with every touch like this. "Like that, baby?" Danny speaks in a way that makes you practically buzz with excitement. "So much." You whisper. 
Slowly he presses inside of you, both of you moaning at the stretch. It feels like a wave flowing through you, from your scalp down to your toes. All you need in this moment is him. "Fuuuck." Danny's voice waivers as his eyes close, "So fucking wet for me." "Fuck baby, just for you." Your voice breathy and small sounding as you rake your nails down his back, making Danny sigh in your ear. His hand comes down to your thigh, pulling it over his hip, gripping so tight you pray it leaves bruises, wanting some sort of proof that this pleasure wasn't some fleeting dream. 
The angle is so deep and you can't help the way he's making you sound. Your nails gripping into his back and pulling him closer to you. It's all so fuckin perfect, you've never felt this good, so all consumed by desire and a euphoric pleasure that takes you under like the wave of tsunami. His breath cascades over your cheek and you can't help the way you wish you were the only oxygen in his lungs. "Fuck, Danny." You moan out as he speeds up his pace, the head of his cock grazing against your g-spot in a way that has your legs spread even wider for him. "So good angel, so fuckin good." He practically growls as he moves faster. 
A moan rips through you and you're clawing at the sheets beneath you, your hands detach from the linen and take root in Danny's curly hair. He groans at the pull, the way your nails scrape through his scalp. You're so close to the edge, the way he's pounding inside of you and the way the bedframe slams against the wall of your bedroom makes your eyes roll back in ecstasy. 
Your eyes slam open as the presence of a large hand presses against your throat just right. "Look at me baby. Want you to look at me when I make you cum." Danny's voice is so raspy and commanding you can't help but say, "Yes, sir." It must have sparked something in Danny because the way his eyes glint in the golden light of your bedroom leads you to believe you must have stumbled upon something. His pace quickens and his hand on your throat closes tighter, your eyes roll back and a devilish smile pulls at your lips as you completely surrender yourself to Danny. 
The building pressure inside of you has you moaning against Danny's strong hand surrounding your throat, making only a weak and broken whimper come awkwardly tumbling from your mouth. Danny releases his grip on your throat and instead holds your wrists down to the bed as he fucks you. "Let me hear it baby. Come on, angel. Be a good girl and cum for me." He whispers, his own voice shakes as he's barely holding on to his own climax. Your moans are so loud and Danny's name falls so easily from your lips, crying out for more and for him. He watches intently in your eyes, feeling the way your pussy flutters around him, and the way you can barely keep yourself from moaning as you cum hard around him.
Your climax makes Danny practically collapse against you, letting go of your wrists and opting instead to hold you close to him, both of his arms encircling your waist, hands grasping to your back. His nose presses against your neck as he groans, your name like silk on his lips as his hips stutter and slam back inside of you, cumming so deep. 
The two of you lay this way for a moment, both panting and searching for something to say, but you're both practically fucked so stupid you can't form any notable shit to say. Your pussy flutters around him, both of you moan exhausted at the intense shock waves that course through you and to him. Slowly and gently Danny pulls out of you, you whine at the loss of him and the way you can feel his cum leaking out of you so deliciously. "Uh where's your bathroom?" He blushes as if he weren't just choking you and fucking you senseless. "Uh, yeah, uh right down there." You chuckle as you point to the door that leads to your en suite bathroom. He returns with a clean washcloth and helps clean you up, a thing your ex never once cared to do for you. Your heart swells at his tenderness with you. He returns to your bed, motioning you to come closer. 
You waste no time as you rest your head on his chest, looking at the tattoos that intricately swirl in dark ink over his body. His warm hands hold you close, your leg over his, soft fingertips run over his ribs. "That was…" You trail off, blushing as the words evade you. "Yeah, that was everything." Danny smiles, hands gently caressing your back. 
"I've never felt that good before." You confess. "Never?" Danny asks surprised, you shake your head. "I could've guessed, you really weren't lying." Danny smirks. "Can we, um, do this whole thing again sometime?" You ask looking nervously up at his big brown eyes. His eyes light up innocently, "I don't think I could make this a one time thing if I tried." He smiles, his arms subtly hold you tighter. 
"Wanna stay the night?" 
"Baby, I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way."
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skipper1331 · 11 months
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Book love or Books and Love? // Alessia Russo
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There were many things you enjoyed but your one true passion was reading. You could read every hour of the day and everywhere. A big thanks to your grandpa. When you were a kid he often read to you. It all started with "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". And even all these years later it was still one of your favourites
Now some years later, you help your grandpa in his bookstore. It is a small store, old designs, but everyone loves it. It is a special place and everyone would find a book they like. You know that store better than anything. You know books better than anything. The customers love you. They enjoy talking to you, hear your recommandations and your true opinions. And even if you didn't like a book, you would never talk bad about it or crictize the author. You respected every work.
In school though you were invisible. You had one friend: Ryan. He‘s a nice guy and you‘ve been friends since primary school.
And then there was Alessia. Alessia Russo.
The girl you had a crush on. She was popular. Had many friends. An athlet. The complete opposite of you. And still she had your attention.
It was a rainy day, nobody was walking down the streets and as usually you were in the store. You were sorting some books when you heard the bell. The bell when someone entered. Still behind bookshelf you said: "hey, how can i help you?" with the sweetest voice. After saying it, you stepped infront of the bookshelf. And there she was, soking wet, eyes sky blue and smiling. "um- hi" she said, "I dont need anything. I- i just didn't want to walk through the rain anymore." while wiping the rain droplets off her face. You saw her shivering but you were too shy to say anything. After all she's Alessia Russo. „Okay“ was your only respond. „If you need anything, let me know.“ You turned around and decided to go on with your work. You didn't want to have to do it tomorrow.
The whole time you felt her eyes on you but you didn't dare to look her way. Your ears and face would have turned crimson red. Like actually crimson. At the moment it was just a light blush. "I‘m sorry. I know you, don‘t I?"
"we go to the same school"
"I knew it" she smiled brightly "you‘re always sitting at the window in english class, right? Thats you.“
“Yeah.“ you said while sorting the last book in the shelf. Proud of herself her smile only grew wider. ”i didn’t know you work here. I walk by often.“
“Well, now you know. I work here almost everyday.“ you giggled. Why the fuck did I giggle? You couldnt help it. Alessia let you feel something. And that was the end of the conversation. You two stared at one another and nobody dared to break eye contact. After what felt like an eternity Alessia did though. It had stopped raining. ”I should probably go“ she whispered. Her eyes glued to the floor. You didnt answer. You wouldn‘t have known with what anyway. ”Bye Y/n“ and with that she left the store. Wow. She knew your name.
Since that day she came to visit you after every training. She would just sit there and talk to you or watch you while you were interacting with customers. With every minute she spent with you, she fell more for you. The way your hair fell, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about a book, the way you smiled. She was smitten.
After months of her regular visits she couldn‘t help it anymore. She wanted you to be hers. And hers only. In school she watched you like a hawk when you interacted with Ryan. Or more like everytime. When Ryan wasn‘t there she watched you with heart eyes and a lovesick smile. Even her friends noticed it. But she couldn‘t care less. But when Ryan was there she turned into a mad girl. She didn‘t like the way he looked at you. She didn‘t like the way you laughed at his jokes. She didn‘t like the way he would touch you. It was all a friendly manner though. But not in her eyes. It was too much for her. She hated it. So that day she didn‘t aim to score goals in training, she aimed to make you hers.
After training she walked as fast as she could without running to the store. To you. Like always. As soon as you heard the bell you knew it was Alessia. She always came at same time. ”Lessi, I finished the book I told you about. It was so good! The way it ended was just wow. I even-” you wanted to tell Alessia about the end of the book as soon as you read the last word. ”I want to read a book!“ she said. Her voice was hard maybe even harsh. The whole day she waited to see you, to tell you that she‘s in love with you.
She was mad. She didn‘t intened to say that. She hated reading. You knew that. So you were kind of shocked. "Lessi? Are you alright?“ She was nervous. „I- i want a book. A book you like. No. One that you love. No. Romance. A lovestory about a girl who works in a bookstore and another girl that came there because of the weather.“ she rambled. But you couldn’t stop her. You didn’t want to. She was gesturing wildly with her hands, looking everywhere but you, walking up and down. Her feelings took over. At first you didn‘t understand what she was talking about. You were caught up in her rambling and walking that you didn't really hear her specific wish about the "book". But when you did, you knew. Your heart was beating so damn fast. ”Alessia“ you whispered. Afraid of your own voice, afraid of what could happen. She stopped dead in her tracks. You rarely called her Alessia anymore. One step then two. And some more. You were standing infront of her. Really close. Her eyes were glued to the floor. A habit you knew from her. Carefully your hands found a way to her cheeks ”Do you really want a book?“ Your question was nothing more than a whisper. But it was loud and clear. Her eyes found yours. They told you so much. Yet you needed to hear it. ”No…“ taking a deep breath ”I want you.“ Alessia Russo wanted you. The cheeks of both of you turned red. Slowly you lent forward, never breaking eye contact. It was a simple peck. She didn‘t react. She couldn‘t. Her heart was beating faster than it was healthy. Her eyes closed to take in the moment. Your lips were heaven. Soft. Perfectly fitting.
When she came back to her senses she grabbed your waist, lunged forward and pressed her lips onto yours. She poured every feeling in that kiss and you felt that. It was perfect. Alessia was perfect. She was everything you could‘ve dreamt of.
And who would have thought that your book love could bring you your actual lover.
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letaliabane · 2 years
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Quiet Love
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Ser Harwin Strong x reader
genre: very romantic, fluffy, yearning, I mean i squealed while writing it so must be exciting
a/n: Harwin Strong has taken all my attention, not only because its Ryan Corr my childhood crush, also because we got so little of such an eye capturing performance! I have no idea where this came from but I think we all deserve some loving don’t you? Enjoy!
Your heels clicked against the pavement as you took a leisurely stroll through the beautiful gardens of Kings Landing, members of the court addressing you with a nod while servants bowed as you passed. 
You were a Targaryen, first daughter of King Viserys and Aemma. Yet it felt like you were second to everything these days since your Mother and baby brother's passing. With your sister Rhaenyra being announced as the heir to the throne and hostilities within court growing worse by the day, it wasn't difficult as to why. 
You were extremely proud and happy for your younger sister, she was truly a force to be reckoned with and meant to rule. But without her and your father, it had become increasingly lonely within the walls you called home.
You missed the simpler times; you and and your father horse riding alongside each other breaking out into laughter as it became a race, Rhaenyra dragging you to the library where she would lay and listen to your voice as you read to her. All of it seemed nothing but a distant memory.
You didn't have many friends apart from a few of the servants. Those who did try to gain your favour at court you came to realise was for their own personal gain, to get closer to your sister or father. And that hurt more than anything. Which is why you denied any affection given to you by any suitor. 
However, you always seemed to feel like someone was watching you. When you sat within the council, dancing at one of the many events, even now as you walked through the rows of blooming rose bushes. 
In the corner of your eyes, the flash of sunlight against armour caught your attention, a silhouette with a mane of wild curls stood at the entrance of the maze.
Ser Harwin Strong, you recognised. Captain of the City Watch and your personal guard. His features rugged, handsome you dare say, like he had been ripped straight out of one of the great paintings that hung within the castle walls. 
He was a man men and women fawned over at dances and the hunts, hoping to gain his favour. And yet his attention seemed drawn only to you. But that was because he was there to protect you, nothing more. Yet it still warmed the depths of your belly that he kept an ever watchful eye over you. 
You paused mid step, anxiety gripping you, screaming at you to continue onwards. But you changed trajectory, walking towards the maze and marched right towards him. A gentle smile overtook his features you noticed as you grew closer, greeting you with a bow of his head. 
‘Morning Princess.’
‘Good morning Ser Harwin! I hope you are faring well this morning?’ 
‘Besides training the new blood who seem worse than the last batch, I am my lady, thank you.’ 
You chuckled softly, nodding towards the maze. ‘I was wondering if you would take a walk with me? Seems like a good day for it.’ 
Harwin couldn’t help but smile briefly before allowing you to walk onwards first, following close at your side. The pavement changed to pebbles, the sound resonating in the silence that lay between the two of you. 
‘And you, my lady?’ 
You looked to him as the deep rumble of his voice caught your attention, dazed by his brilliant brown eyes, almost amber in the sunlight. ‘I’m sorry?’
He chuckled, armour clinking as he ducked his head before looking towards you. ‘How are you? It’s only courteous of me to ask in return for your kindness.’ 
There were so many things you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him everything and yet nothing all at once. The lump in your throat grew, and yet the words left quicker than you expected. 
‘I won’t lie Ser Harwin I feel I'm at a standstill. People seem to be moving in and out of my life sooner than I’d like. I feel the role of a spinster will do me well better than a princess with the way I’m going.’ 
Harwin’s brow furrowed, faltering ever so slightly in his step. ‘You don’t mean that.’ 
‘But I do!’ You started, jumping at the sound of your own voice raising, glancing towards the knight who remained unchanged, however halting in his place. ‘‘I-I’m sorry I didn’t-’
‘Do not apologise,’ He said as he stepped closer, but he kept his distance. He didn’t want to overwhelm you. ‘What truly troubles you my lady?’ 
You wanted to weep. No one had ever asked how you felt. 
‘As feeble as it may sound I’m afraid of being left behind. My sister, heavy is her head that will wear the crown, is blessed and loved by all, but busy with the duties of being a leader. My father is enraptured by his newfound family while I’m left to the wolves to fend for myself. Every person at court comes to my side with wishes and hopes, for my love and attention, only to want to gain favour with my family, not me! And it hurts it-’
The words died on your lips, taking in the worry that was etched upon Harwin’s face. He pitied you, like everyone else he probably did. 
‘I’ve spoken out of turn,’ You muttered as if you hadn’t been on the verge of crying almost moments ago. All emotion had left your voice, you wouldn’t show weakness, you couldn’t. ‘You must be sick of having to watch over me.’ 
‘Princess-’
'I'm sure Rhaenyra would be happy to have you as her personal guard-'
'I did not ask for her, Y/N. I asked to protect you,' He said. You froze, mouth seamlessly moving without making a sound. Though his tone had been firm, his eyes spoke only gentle reassurance. The way your name slipped from his lips sent chills down your spine. 
‘Wh-What did you say?’
Harwin sighed, his heart pounding against his chest. ‘When I was given the honour of Captain of the Watch, I asked-no, requested that I was put to your side.’
‘But why-’ 
‘You must know there is something there between us, do you not princess?’
You knew what he was talking about. 
Longing looks you both exchanged from across the room, the way he watched you as you danced with other men, while you watched him mingle with the ladies of the court. Brief touches of his hand against yours when he passed by or on the small of your back as he led you through the castle. 
There was a fire between the two of you, and it grew every more fierce as the days passed. And you couldn’t help but deny it. 
‘No I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ 
Harwin stepped forward and you couldn't help but stray away, only to find your back pressed against the hedge. His hand found purchase firmly on your hip, the weight and heat almost soothing, thumb stroking gently against the fabric of your dress. Your eyes looked anywhere but his, breathing deeply, the scent of pine wood invaded your senses. 
You gasped as his fingertips slipped between yours, his palm engulfing yours as he gave it a gentle squeeze. He ducked his head, looking into your eyes. 
‘I care for you Y/N. I know it may not be correct to say it but I will not deny it. And I know that you feel the same way.’
No he couldn’t. Ser Harwin Strong could never be in love with you. Maybe an infatuation but no, not love. 
Hearing the crunch of pebbles beneath boot, you glanced back towards Harwin now watching as you walked away, his golden cape billowing in the wind. And as he stood there, he promised himself he would make sure you knew how loved your were. 
You pulled away, shaking your head as your chest heaved. As you dashed through the garden you couldn’t help but glance around. There were eyes everywhere, one could never be too careful. 
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Part Two
a/n: let me know if you want another part to this story! Some spicy smut coming very soon in a separate story as well so stay tuned! 
tagged (if your tag isn't working DM me and we'll try and fix it up!): @thesithdiaries​ @dazecrea @ppeuppeuppeu @a-sunflower-in-bloom @siren-of-the-deep-sea @ccallistata @agoldin @vivilingme-blog @my-dark-prince @derzauberermitlilabademantel @blooomsstuff @starxdame @alexslittlegirl  @budugu @piper570 @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @words-way-of-life ​ @rosemalachi @m1tzifa1ry @gibbsgirl7 @b0xfullofdarkness
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crispycreambacon · 1 month
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You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel
Try to make room in your skull, but it’s full of them
All of the things that you think and then think about thinking
I know it’s hard, but they're not who you are
They're white noise
— White Noise, Will Wood —
Welcome one and all to "Mashing Two Interests Like Playdough", the first episode is Puppet History x Will Wood, specifically the Substitute x White Noise 'cause holy moly. It fits him so well. Omg.
I had so much fun creating this poster! I'm really proud of how the poses and the rendering turned out even though both gave me a rough time at first </3 I actually had an earlier version of this poster, but I scrapped it because it wasn't doing it for me ngl :,D I'm glad I did though!
Anyways if you'd like to know more about why I think this song fits the Substitute, you can read my interpretation of the lyrics and how they can relate to him below the "Read More" button. You can also find the glitchless + filterless version of the poster there.
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Note: A lot of this is speculation on my part, and you don't need to conform to this reading. This is just how I perceive him.
They paint the walls with colors that you're not meant to notice
They fill the halls with tunes you can't get into your head
Let's establish the obvious: The Substitute can't feel. The extent of his unfeelingness is unknown, but what is known is that he can't taste and can't have the sensation of touch. This may lead to him being isolated due to his inability to relate to experiences both humans and his fellow puppets seem to have, particularly the experiences of the one he is based on.
Yeah, it sorta sounds like a retro top-40 but wrong
You're not meant to sing along
It isn't that kind of song
It's white noise
Despite his unfeelingness, he still wants to have the experiences others have. After all, he literally almost killed someone just to have that chance, but his plan is not entirely well-thoughout. How was he going to dispose Ryan's body without getting caught? How was he going to sew the skin onto himself and dispose the rest of it? What was he going to do after he finally what he asked for?
In a way, he was doomed to fail. He was never meant to gain sentience anyway, let alone have the desire to feel like his counterpart. His existence is a complete accident. Now he has to deal with the consequences of actions he never even had a hand in doing.
But if you listen closely I swear, to God I swear
You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear
This lyric directly inspired the pose of the Substitute listening to the conch shell. He has memories of some of the most wonderful sensations on Earth yet he can't connect with any of them. Perhaps when no one was looking, he tries to recreate some of them in a desperate attempt to find a scrap of semblance of feeling and gets increasingly frustrated with his inability to understand them.
Is it any wonder that he would do anything to regain that scrap of enjoyment? To end his torturous experience by any means necessary?
Its personality's a lack of identity
The entire second verse in general speaks about the meaningless of art and how people try to give it meaning anyway. The Substitute's only purpose was to replace the Professor either to console a dead mass or to continue the show. Now that the Professor is back... What can he do?
Moreover, he's also never allowed to have an identity of his own. Since he's meant to be a perfect copy of someone else, especially someone who's presumed to be dead, he can never really deviate from that role because it would break the illusion the puppets created to cope with their grief. No matter what his desires are, he can never really explore any of them because no one is allowing him to do so.
Also, the way the orchestra swells during this part kinda calls back to theatrical music for me. I feel like the Substitute would enjoy performace arts. His bombastic musical number implies he had a flair for the dramatics, and despite his lack of feeling, his expression of his ambitions is quite dramatic.
You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel
This can relate to how the Subtitute is forced to relive the memories of the Professor despite not being able to experience the emotions connected with them. In a way, he has to so that he could remind himself of his motivations. Remembering the joy the Professor got through feeling would keep him going on this path in the hopes that some day, he could feel that joy too.
I know it's hard
But they're not who you are
They're white noise
This line can be taken in two ways. One is based on the speculated official meaning of the outro which is centered on intrusive thoughts. No doubt the Substitute deals with homicidal thoughts, but I wonder if he truly believes in them. Does he genuinely enjoy indulge in them, or does he act on them because it's all that he knows? For all the talk about him having the Professor's memories, at the end of the day, he was crudely coded for one simple purpose. His thoughts are very simplistic—as seen with how quickly he jumps to murder as the most logical solution for his problem—and I wonder if he was given a chance to grow beyond his purpose, he could've reliazed that homocide was not the right course of action.
The other way, which is likely more relevant, relates back to the Substitute being intrinsically tied to the Professor. His thoughts, his memories and his actions are all in a way influenced by the Professor. But it didn't have to be this way. As unlikely as it is, he could've had a life where he discovered his own interests and his own personality outside of being "the evil Professor". If he had gotten to learn more about the world on his own, if he had been able to act not as the Professor but as himself, he would've been able to develop more and find that joy he was missing. He could've had a life.
Unfortunately, he was never given that chance, and it is unlikely that he ever will be.
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Text
A LIFE IN THE DAY
David Duchovny: ‘Love can happen at any age, right?
The actor, 63, on The X Files, songwriting and snacking
EKATERINA GERBY
Interview by Helen Cullen
Wednesday January 17 2024, 12.01am GMT, The Sunday Time
Duchovny was born in New York City. He studied English at Princeton University and Yale, before breaking into acting in the late 1980s, starting in TV adverts and working his way up. In 1993 he began playing the role of the FBI agent Fox Mulder in The X Files, which ran for nine years. He later played Hank Moody in Californication. He has also released three folk-rock albums and published five novels — last year he directed a film adaptation of one of these, Bucky F***ing Dent. Duchovny has two grown-up children from his former marriage to the actress Téa Leoni. He lives in California, with his girlfriend, Monique Pendleberry, and his two dogs, Brick and Rookie.
I like to get up at dawn because those are my best thinking and writing hours. I love the sunrise but it also means I can get some work done before the sun gets too much. That’s the best time of day for me. I have a coffee that makes me think I’m brilliant for ten minutes and that’s all I need to get going.
Food to me is just fuel and I don’t have very advanced taste buds. I think everything kind of tastes OK, which people react to with suspicion. For breakfast I like oatmeal — what my Scottish mother called porridge.
If I’m filming I still like an early start, but I shot my recent film What Happens Later, with Meg Ryan, all through the night because we filmed in a regional airport after it closed at 9pm. That’s a bit of a nightmare for me as a morning person, but we developed a great camaraderie from working while the world was asleep. My daughter, West, thought it was great to see a romantic comedy film with people my age, but I don’t think of myself as any age, so I hadn’t thought about that. Love can happen at any age, right?
Everybody wants me to have a hobby, but I’m blessed because I love my work. I’ve been able to branch out into music, writing and directing. With songwriting I can pick up the guitar at any time. If you wait for inspiration to hit, you’ll be sitting on your ass for ever.
I knock off for lunch about 12pm. That’s when I have the one big meal of the day that would be recognisable to other humans as a proper meal — vegetables and a protein such as fish. The rest of the time I snack.
In the afternoon I work out. I love the games I played when I was younger — boxing, tennis and basketball — but as I get older I tend to get hurt doing those, so I’ve found Pilates is best for me. It’s still super hard but the least dangerous.
I live in Malibu and the height of my fame has passed, so it’s not difficult for me to move around any more. It’s a different era now because everybody has a phone, so paparazzi are more a thing of the past. I tend to go to the same places where people are bored of seeing me.
There are always different reasons why fans might stop me — it could be still because of The X Files or Californication. I am very proud of The X Files. I can’t think of another show like it in terms of cultural impact and longevity. I just thought we were making good, goofy TV but Chris Carter, the creator and director, saw what was coming in terms of the culture of conspiracy theories. Gillian Anderson [his co-star] and I went from being unknown to globally recognised in a couple of years. We don’t get to see each other that much as she lives in London, but there’s no one else I can share that with.
West is an actor now too. It wasn’t something that I would have charted out for her because I know how difficult it is, even more so for a woman, but I want her to do something she’s passionate about. There are still dark corners in Hollywood but the pitfalls and dangers are much more upfront.
I do enjoy a party, but I’d rather spend time with friends in the evening. Because I like to get up so early, I go to bed early also. I feel electric light has really f***ed with our sense of mind and body, and that we were made to hide in the cave at night from predators and wake up with the sun, so I try to do that. Constitutionally, I feel like that works for me.
Words of wisdom
Best advice I was given
It doesn’t matter if people laugh; it matters if it feels funny to you
Advice I’d give
There’s no such thing as good advice — you have to come to it on your own
What I wish I’d known
Take a moment to appreciate what you’ve done before worrying about the next thing
What Happens Later is in cinemas now and available to stream in spring. The Reservoir by David Duchovny is out now (Akashic Books £19.95)
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gilbirda · 9 days
Note
what are your thoughts on watcher’s new announcement?
So.
I've been watching the Boys since they started back in 2016 (i think around that era), and honestly I'm very conflicted about the decision. I've read so much stuff in favor and against the announcement and I don't know if my answer will satisfy you.
I have managed a community and I have the blessing and curse of being somewhat of a Name, experiencing the ordeal of being Known, and I can tell you that 1)you can never please everyone 2)people will always rush to crush you the second you do something they don't agree with 3)people will always twist everything you do with the worst faith in mind and 4)fandom forget very quickly that at the end of the day you are just human.
I think they made a calculated risk based on a purely economical viewpoint. I think they considered their loyal fanbase and how willing people have been so far with spending extra cash to support them — The live shows, the exclusive streams (like the Valentine's Too Many Spirits) and Patreon. How much of their fanbase was the "broke students" tumblr claim they are and how much was people with spending money willing to pay extra for them.
I also think that the decision seem stupid if you look at it from the perspective of "why the hell would I pay $6 to watch such little variety of content?" and that's a Correct Assumption, but Observe — they have been very slowly pulling everyone that made Buzzfeed famous and enrolling them in. Very recently they gathered the Worth It boys, the second show that kind of carried Buzzfeed back in the day (apart from the Try Guys). I think they can't talk about it right now, but the goal is to relaunch Buzzfeed but without ads and without making it the soulless content machine it became. I think their dream and goal has always been making what Buzzfeed could have been with better management, kind of like "If I was the Management in this company, things would have been better" dream fulfillment. That's why they made the direct jump to a streaming service instead of the logical steps of Patreon-exclusive content or even jumping to Nebula like other youtubers. It was never meant to stay one single channel, it was supposed to be bigger.
Is the projection of making a "better Buzzfeed" worth risking this step? Time will tell. I don't know. I personally never cared about anyone except Buzzfeed Unsolved. I still watch Unsolved on repeat. Is my comfort show. Maybe they are overestimating how much people care about other shows not hosted by them.
Although they did hint that "we want shows not hosted by us". This tells me that they are settling down, they want to ramp down a little bit, do the hook with Ghost Files aka Unsolved Supernatural Lite for the streaming service, and once people are hooked, launch more shows by the old-school Buzzfeed people. Won't be as big as a show hosted by Shane and Ryan, but it will still make people feel like they are getting their money's worth.
I would forgive all of this if only they didn't use the excuse of "if we want to do Netflix-level productions we need money". I'm sorry but that means nothing to me. We loved them when it was a powerpoint slide show with 2 idiots in a set. We didn't fall in love with the toys or the trips or the high tech. We didn't fall in love with the fancy animations at the beginning of Ghost Files episodes that they are so proud of. That was all their idea.
I've seen this trend of content creators ramping up their creations to an unsustainable point, completely crash and burn and then having to apologize about having to step back. Then making it the moral trap of an argument that they have been doing their best to bring quality content to their audience, and of course making it impossible to argue against. If you speak up and say "well we never asked you to break your back" then you are ungrateful audience. That's exactly what's going on in here with the Watcher announcement — "true fans" criticizing people who point out the fact that they created this money problem on their own. Is not the fanbase responsibility to cater to a company's bad money decisions. Is not our fault that they decide to scale up their operation to a point they "haven't been making a profit for 2 years". It's unfair that the fans are at each other's throats for daring stepping back and saying "I don't want to be part of this".
I don't think Watcher Entertainment is actively wanting to collapse their fandom like this. I don't think this was a calculated move. But I do think that they are a group of adults trying to make a career of something they enjoy doing. I think they made this move with the perspective that fandom is not end all and they can always rebuild it.
— And that they are planning on making a machine that can work without them, and that requires breaking something in the fans, it requires kicking themselves out of the pedestal fans have put them on. They know they won't be allowed to have a normal life until people stop looking at them waiting for them to say their phrase.
In conclusion I think they made a choice that made sense if they are planning on separating Watcher Entertainment from "The Ghoul Boys" fame, and it makes sense if they are aiming at something bigger than what they've been doing now. Money of course is the goal and the reason presented, but there's a lot that they are not saying and we will not know until it happens.
Until then, it does feel like they have just shot their careers in the foot.
Also I'm salty that I can't join the service because I'm outside the US.
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ghostiiess · 5 months
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[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!
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synopsis: title says it all!
warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there
type: fluff
members: everyone
wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K
not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((
reblogs and likes are very appreciated!
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OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period
The sweetest man
He would literally be the best dad, fr
LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)
He would do all the tasks for you
And compliment you!
Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water
« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »
he would be soooo supportive 🥹
« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »
« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »
He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life
« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »
« our baby will be so pretty »
« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty »
OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???
He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)
like tell me if im wrong (im not)
(Others members under the cut!)
SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile
Listen…
This man would try to make the time less crampy
less painful too
Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.
He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)
So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things
he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you
But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it
This man would buy flowers.
I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »
Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there
Pregnancy jokes, even!
« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »
thank you seb for this joke 😐
He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤
He would search them on google and he would be so proud
"im gonna be the funny one in this family"
He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)
Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)
RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax
He would judge you so bad for ur cravings
But he would buy them for you
Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile
And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚
« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »
But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)
Also… he would literally take care of everything
A bit like Oliver would do :)
« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »
« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »
He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec
« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)
« Go relax, my love. I can do it »
« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »
Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive
He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person
JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness
Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages
Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked
« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »
This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness
He just want the best for you 😁
Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it
« Hey baby, is everything okay? »
Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol
he has this gut feeling, what can i say?
« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »
« Yeah, just like that »
If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back
« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»
«  if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »
Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal
KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you
this man would be so cute.
I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true
We all know how kane give good massages
This man know what he’s doing!
He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever
« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »
Also, during the massage…
He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha
In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy
« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »
Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:
« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »
« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »
« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »
Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!
DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away
We all know how Darren is a great cook
So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)
« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »
Isn’t he so cute? 🥹
The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.
BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!
Also, he would kiss your cramps away
To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that
« Hey baby, are you okay? »
« Do you want me to help you? »
A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage
« You’re so cute baby »
And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!
also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!
« Are you feeling a bit better? »
« Come and rest next to me, alright? »
He’s such a sweetheart, woah
REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations
He would be the best dad ever, no joke
He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too
And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo
I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢
I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations
Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry
Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry
So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy
Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart
He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-
He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can
He would take care of you so so much too
He would be like Oliver haha
Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry
taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7
Olegie has my heart 🤭
100% recommand this man!
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killersfool · 7 months
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I Want You | ELIJAH HEWSON
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PAIRING : elijah hewson x original f!character
GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: dahlia jenkinson, josh’s sister is asked to fill in as photographer at his bad’s concert. her plan is to ask him out by the end of the show as she’s been crushing on him for ever. what she doesn’t expect is that one of their songs was written about her—and she’s right there when he confesses it.
WORDS: 5.6k
WARNINGS: smoking, drinking, kissing
Friday. Underground. London.
I run through the station passing the endless people, posters and children's screams. My brother, Josh, had asked me yesterday to help out at his band's concert. He'd told me that their photographer had gotten COVID so he needed someone to fill in.
I dragged my roommate along with me as my moral support, seeing as she's heard me spill every secret in my mind about the band's lead singer, Elijah.  I've been helping Josh with his band's endeavours for years and have also had to condone countless sleepovers. I've had the sound of drumsticks crashing together engrained in my head by this point. Robyn has always told me to 'stop being a pussy and ask Eli out on a date' but honestly, I'm terrified I'll ruin everything. This photography thing has really helped to get me new jobs and more exposure.
"So, you still crushing on Eli?" Robyn asks. She's been glancing over at my phone for the past few minutes. I've been texting the band group chat that I've been added to. They usually kick me out randomly. This is the longest period of time I've been in it without having an argument. I'm pretty proud.
"Shut up." I scoff. "If you dare say anything to any of of them, I will kill you."
"I wouldn't," she laughs. I give her a look. "I'll try not to..."
"You and your big mouth."
"I can't help it."
"I shouldn't tell you things."
"Who else would you tell?" She grabs at my phone, noticing a message from Elijah pop up.
It reads: "Missed you. You've always been the better Jenkinson." I try to contain my smile at the stupid message. It's just a couple words beneath a name on a screen and I'm getting all nervous. It's pathetic. God, this is getting bad.
"That's cute," Robyn says and is about to start writing a message back until I snatch my phone back. Who knows what kind of bullshit she'd start sending. She'd surely send some terrible pictures of me. That's happened on many ocassions. I've learnt my lesson to never trust her with my phone.
"Cringe." I type back, although the smile on my face is betraying the words on the screen. I stare at his profile picture for a few seconds. It's a selfie of me and the band. I look half asleep, probably drunk. Eli's hair is all over his face and Josh is squeezing Ryan's cheeks. Bobby is just angrily staring at the camera. He definitely didn't want to be in that photo. It's sweet that Eli has kept his profile picture that way for so long. We haven't seen each other in months. I send another message, "Well you're not my favourite Hewson."
He sends an angry emoji. "Who is then?"
"Bono, course."
He sends a few more angry emojis before spamming the group chat. There is already some kind of argument happening. Robert seems to be late and they're all asking where he is. I switch my phone off, sliding it into my pocket. Robyn's been unusually quiet.
"What have you done this time?" I ask with a subtle tilt of my head. She's chewing on some haribos she'd bought moments ago. She then smirks to herself, "Nothing."
I'm a little worried but decide to brush it off. We leave the train station and I'm struck by the freezing air. I sometimes forget how cold England is. Having moved from Ireland over a year ago, I feel like I should've acclimatised. But, why is it always so cold? I hold my jacket closer to myself to try to warm up.
We pass at least ten people with 'I love London' shirts. Sounds of street sellers are familiar along with the hustle and bustle of late London nights. I see the London Eye twisting in the distance. Big ben is tolling. The venue comes into view a few streets away. I'm dreading it slightly. I feel as if I'm not going to cope this time seeing that ever-so-familiar face. It's as if with each passing month, he gets better looking. It should be crime. I'll probably melt when I see him.
I instead focus on seeing Josh and my excitement for seeing the gig. They've all really improved over the years. They really know how to put on a good show. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. It'll be fine. Surely.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" Robyn takes notice of me fiddling with my earrings. It's become some nervous habit. I find a comfort in twiddling the crystals between my fingers.
"A bit," I say. Honest. "What if he finds out? We'll surely get piss-drunk. What if he only wants to be mates?"
"Lia, darling, you've got to stop overthinking it. After hearing all these stories you've told me, it sounds like he likes you a lot," she says, grinning. "I'll tell you if I see any looks passed or anything suspicious, okay?"
"You're the best." I give her a hug, forgetting for a moment about the crowded streets around us. Robyn hugs are always too good to be true. I sometimes forget how unbelievably short she is and how she tries to suffocate me with her arms.
Just as we're about to continue down the endless streets, I see someone running past us. I barely even realise he's passed me until Robyn points him out. I see long, curly hair and a massive case swung over his shoulder. Bobby. Then, he turns to face us. Blue eyes catch me off guard then a massive grin. He seems to question whether he should stop or get to the venue. He's very late.
"Is that the bassist?" Robyn wonders. "Robert?"
"That's me," he says, retracing his steps. His mullet has gone all messy in the autumn wind. He's trying to swipe away a few stray hairs from out of his face. "Hey Dally. Who's this?" He points towards my friend with a lazy smile.
"This is Robyn. My roommate. She's the one who accidentally stepped on a pigeon."
"Ah." He then turns into his bird lover mode. "How could you do that to a poor, helpless bird? How could you? Can't believe you're called Robyn. That's a disgrace. Wish I was called Robyn. Or sparrow. Or some kind of bird. God, do I love birds—"
"Okay, Robert. We get it," I interrupt with a finger in the air. He crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. Robyn is laughing at his angered demeanour. He always puts on this irritated-sarcastic face in moments like this. He looks like a child after stepping on lego.
"Aren't you late?" Robyn asks the blue-eyed boy. His phone has been pinging with notification throughout the few minutes they have been walking together. He seems to be a little stressed. I have to almost run to keep up with this speed of impossibly long legs.
We approach the venue. It's a huge, pretty rundown building which strikes out in stark contrast to the fancy buildings around it. The words 'Inhaler:tonight' are written on a chalkboard beside the entrance. The place really matches the band for some reason. There's a queue of fans outside. A lot of them are sat down on the pavement. They scream at the sight of the bassist, piling around him. Phones are being held up to take pictures of him.
"Sorry guys, I've got to get inside. Thank you for coming," Robert mumbles.
Robyn and I act as body guards, preventing anyone from getting too close. Banners have been dropped onto the ground, passersby glance over in confusion. There's colourful cowboy hats covered with jewels everywhere. That music video really drove the world crazy. It definitely drove me crazy. I probably make up at least half of the views.
The majority of the crowd continue to take photos. Some say 'Oh my God, that's Josh's sister!' I give them a smile whilst simultaneously pushing Robert forwards.
We finally get to the back door. The gathering give up after a while. They go back to the queue, attempting to slot in to their previous place.
"Well, doors haven't opened yet so you can't be that late," I remark. The front doors are still locked.
"I'm missing sound check though."
I hear music booming quietly through the walls. I open the door, pressing down on it with fingertips. It creaks open to a long corridor with white plastered walls. It smells of fresh paint. The light is barely even attached to the ceiling. It looks like some horror film scene. Creepy.
But then Josh comes around the corner. His guitar is slung over his chest and his face lights up to reveal a huge smile that I've always adored. He's taller than the last time I've seen him. He runs straight towards me, engulfing me with his arms. I'm uncomfortably pressed against his guitar but I couldn't care less. I'm so glad I came. I missed him so much.
Robert slides past us and Robyn awkwardly stands in the doorway. I introduce her to my brother. He gives her a hug as well. She seems to enjoy this whole situation a lot. She's getting all loud and giddy.
The rest of the band are still playing through songs. They're running through 'Dublin In Ecstasy'. Elijah's voice is echoing through the entire building, sliding it's way through my skull. There's a part of me that wants to turn back. I could just make my way back to my apartment, have a cup of coffee and stalk Twitter accounts of people who went to the show. I definitely haven't been doing that for the past few months. I'm not that insane. Or obsessed.
"Do you want to listen to sound check or hang out back stage?" Josh asks us. He's been talking to Robyn, getting to know her and she seems to like him, thankfully. It'd be downright awkward if she hated his guts.
"I'll follow you," Robyn says to Josh. She starts to traipse down the corridor. I watch her curls bounce from side to side as she jumps with every step. She suddenly realises that she's left me behind. "You coming?"
I groan, staring at the door. "Yeah. Fuck it."
I pick up my camera in preparation. I've been using the same one for years. It's got stickers all over it. Some of random bands, some from different countries and little letters spelling out my name. Elijah had bought me a few pages of letters of the alphabet as a birthday present when I turned 15. I still remember that day. We were all huddled inside my living room after being drenched by a sudden storm. There were about fifteen of us, including the band. The fireplace before us was the only source of light in the darkened room. I think I was dating Ryan at that point. That was a strange time. He was sweet. It only lasted a couple of weeks. Elijah had a girlfriend too. Younger me was very jealous. I think that's what made me realise I liked him.
Now, fast forward eight years and my heart is beating in my ears like I'm a teenager all over again.
I allow Robyn to go first. I trail behind. Josh has left us to our own devices and we try to figure out where exactly we're supposed to go. We decide to follow the sounds of music booming. Closer and closer. We go down a staircase, open a door then we're right at the stalls, just beneath the stage. The door crashes so loudly that all of the band stop playing. They all peer down at us.
The band name 'Inhaler' is upon the wall and coloured lights paint the stage. This room is a lot nicer than the exterior. There's a standing area then seats up along the top. The walls are painted a deep shade of crimson with gold lines intricately painted everywhere. It's too good to be true. It feels so weird being at one of their gigs again. It feels even weirder to see all of them in the same place at the same time.
I trace my gaze along the stage. I take a quick glance at Josh who is tuning his guitar, then Ryan who's staring at us with wide eyes. I shift my eyes a little further to see Elijah. He's dropped his mic at the sight of us. I take notice of the length of his hair. It's falling over his eyes, a mess of curls shrouding his face. He's wearing a white vest top and a bulky blazer which is holding onto his shoulders for dear life. I can't see him very well from here. What I can see is the complexity of his gaze. The way he's looking at me is making me nervous. I take a deep breath.
"Dahlia?!" Ryan calls out. He drops his drumsticks similarly to Elijah.
"Surprise?" I say. I thought Josh had told them I was coming. "Wait, did Josh not tell you?"
Elijah picks up the microphone from the ground, not taking his eyes away from mine. "Josh, you gobshite. I thought she was coming next week," he says into the mic, words jumping through my ears. I hate how warm his voice is through those speakers. It's sickening.
"Well, I'm not complaining." Ryan jumps down from the stage, giving me and Robyn a hug. It's a group hug where we're all squashed together. He's grinning from ear to ear.
"You're still short," I say. I can still look down on him, especially with my chunky boots. He rolls his eyes.  "This is Robyn." I introduce my roommate to both Ryan and Elijah.
"Nice to meet you," Elijah murmurs as he jumps off the stage. He's left the mic on the stand. He's pushing his hair from his face.
Robyn gives me a look, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Elijah. She's got a malevolent smile. What's she going to do? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her.
"I've heard all about you." Robyn gives Elijah a little wink. I kick the back of her leg .
His lip raises the slightest bit. I find myself staring at his mouth for far too long. There's stubble lining his chin and a splatter of freckles on his cheeks. "Have you, now?" His low voice drifts through the air. He's maintaining eye contact with me. I'm trying to evade his gaze.
"She's exaggerating." I assure him, trying to stop myself from giving Robyn another thwack.
"Eli! We have like 5 minutes until door opens and Dublin In Ecstasy is a mess. Get up here. You can swoon later." Robert is already playing the introduction to the song. Ryan and Josh join in.
"Swoon?" Eli shakes his head with a grin.
"We're just that amazing," Robyn whispers to me.
I hold up my camera, taking a picture of the three lads on stage. Then I point it at Elijah. I take a few of his confused face before he leaves us to sing along to the music.
"He's whipped." Robyn watches as he climbs back onto the stage. "Likes you so much he can barely even function-" She points out how he can't even plug his guitar in. He's been trying to shove the lead in for a while but his eyes are wandering elsewhere. "You've got to say something to him. He's leaving tomorrow, isn't he? Maybe tonight.."
I breathe in. "Alright. I'll try."
Robyn and I hum along to the tune. Elijah's rough vocals make my mind go cloudy. He sounds so much crisper in person. I think back to the cuts and bruises vinyl on my shelf. Robyn had bought it the day it came out. Josh sent me every version possible. Robyn went on about supposedly being 'the first person in the world who bought it'. She said she saw the record in HMV and instantly thought of me. We had stayed up late that night to listen through each track. Eating popcorn, drinking alcohol, talking about random shit. That was when I told her everything about Elijah. From the schoolgirl crush, to the trying to forget him then to the full-blown infatuation. She enjoyed listening to every detail I had to offer.
Elijah continues singing. I'm holding my breath, my palms are sweaty, I feel my heart pulsing at my throat. Robyn is swaying to each beat of the drums. Elijah won't stop looking at me.
Then the song ends and we all tun backstage, in an attempt to evade the incoming fans. I hear shouts echoing in the distance. We've gathered in a little room backstage. Josh is showing me some fancy chocolates he bought in Rome. I'm taking pictures of the band members. Robyn keeps photobombing. I rest my head upon the armrest of the sofa, closing my eyes. It feels nice. Calm. Until, someone settles beside me. They grab my legs so that they can properly sit down. The hands are cold and fingertips are calloused. That someone is Elijah. "Excited for the show?"
He's got his pre-show drink in one hand and his phone in the other. I close my eyes once again.
I shift around in the soft cushion attempting to get into a more comfortable position. He scoffs and pulls my legs up by the ankles to rest them over his thighs. "I know you're tired," he says. He takes a sip of his drink. "But if you dare fall asleep during the show, I will throw my guitar at you." I move my legs around his thighs then actually raise my head to look at him. I take a picture as he makes a stupid face. I don't know how he can do that whilst still looking pretty.
"Is this comfortable?" I ask. He's been very still. "I can move if you want."
"It's nice... fine," he mumbles as he scrolls through messages on his phone. "Reminds of that music lesson. Must've been our first year of secondary school. You fainted after some practice test we did. We were sat in this exact position for at least an hour. I think my legs stopped working."
I try to bring my head back to the memory. He was so different back then. Shorter hair, insanely asthmatic. He only knew me as Josh's twin sister. Somehow that was enough for him to stay there with me and keep me safe. After that, he had some complex where had to look after me with his life. It was charming.
"I had to kick you about nine time because you feel asleep, " I recall. My mind is wandering through moments I can barely even remember. "You were so strange."
"I could've left you there in the practice asleep. You should be thanking me for saving you from embarassment-"
"Why, thank you. Oh how you've changed my entire life. I owe you all that I have."
He shakes his head, squeezing the skin at the bottom of my ankle. He then rests his hand there. As if it's normal. He's still reading through messages, biting the top of the plastic cup.
"When do you lot go on then?" I ask everyone.
Robyn has started drawing eyeliner onto the other boys. She just pulled it out of her pocket randomly and asked if they wanted her to do it. They've filed into a queue. She's done some graphic liner on Bobby with little stars that makes his bright eyes pop out all the more.
"Ten minutes." Ryan is putting some hair gel through his hair. He puts some music on using a bluetooth speaker they placed in the corner. Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley comes on. I'm trying to stop myself from falling asleep but it's getting harder with each passing second.
"I'm so excited," Robyn says as she does Josh's eyeliner. She's made his more smudgy and messy. It suits him a lot.  "Elijah, should I do yours? Or Dahlia can do it?" She passes the tube towards me. There's some malicious intent behind her eyes. I narrow my eyes down to the black contraption, taking it uneasily between my fingers.
He lays down his phone and drink. He's trying to push all the hair out of his face to give me some access to his eyes. I kneel down on the sofa beside him. I grab a hair bobble from my wrist then tie the top half of his hair up. He groans as I pull some strands way too hard then relaxes into my touch. He smells like cigarette smoke and cologne.
"How should I do it?" I wonder out loud. I've opened the tube and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He looks like his teenage self with his hair like this. His eyes are maintaining a hard eye contact as I near him. There's a warmth rising to my face.
Robyn pulls out her phone and shows me a picture of Rodrick Hefley. I snort. "Try it like that," she says.
Elijah closes his eyes as I begin to draw little lines then smudge. I've grabbed his chin to keep him in place. I can feel the sharp stubble poking at my fingers. He opens his eyes every now and then. They're half-lidded, watching. I poke his eye by accident. I scold him for opening his eyes. He decided to instead keep them closed.
I admire my work once I've done. It's not my best liner but it's alright. The other boys gather around to get a look at him. His hazel eyes come into view and he smiles widely at the sight of us all. "Does it look good?"
"Looks class," Ryan says as he grabs a mirror. The other boys nod along.
Elijah looks at himself. He seems to not know if he likes it or not. He smiles at me and says, "Thanks, love."
I just smile back, pulling out the bobble from his hair. An unruly splatter of curls cascade across his forehead. There's something about him wearing eyeliner that's stopping me from thinking straight. It's different. I'm still sat half on top of him, one knee resting on his thigh and the other on the sofa. He helps me off of him then stands up.
He ruffles his hair as he says, "Let's get going lads."
The four boys grab everything they need for the show. Water bottles, instruments, drumsticks, their sanity. They all give each other a group hug. It must be some pre-show ritual because they all down their drinks at the exact same time. If that wasn't planned, it was uncanny.
"Good luck." I wave them off and they travel down the corridor in a straight line. As each of them walk out, I take a picture. Elijah is the last to leave. He stops in the doorway, still holding his plastic cup. He raises his lip to reveal his white teeth as I take the picture. He really enjoys making the strangest faces.
"If you don't get our best angles, I'll have to think about firing you." Elijah warns me just before he turns around. He then disappears down to another asylum-like corridor before I can get a chance to insult him. I let out a breath.
"That went well, right?" Robyn's trying to figure out what's going through my head. I can't even comprehend anything that just happened. The feel of his hand still lingers at my ankle. "That whole time you were talking to Josh about those chocolates, he was staring you down. It was pretty creepy, to be honest." She laughs. "Don't even get me started on the eyeliner. All of us felt like total third wheels."
"Sorry," I say. I play around with the bobble at my wrist. It had been wrapped around those glorious curls only moments ago. "God, I'm so in love it hurts."
"That's how I felt when I started liking Emmy. Literally all I could think about was her." Robyn is in a daze, eyes glued to the wall. "You need to do something before it's too late."
"After the set, I will tell him." I finally accept my fate. I could possibly not see him until next year. Or the year after. Who knows how busy I could get?
"Good," Robyn says. "I'm tired of hearing Elijah this Elijah that. Girl, I get it."
"You had an Emmy this Emmy that phase. Don't even start."
She frustratedly sighs. "Come on. I think they're going on."
I hear the crashing of drums reverberating through every wall, every floorboard. Slowly, we approach the main room. The bodyguard lets us through to the wings of the stage. I can see all the crowd from this angle. There are phones, cowboy hats and banners littered through the crowd. Some of the audience are people we had seen when Bobby was surrounded. They're screaming at the sight of the band.
The first song they play is These Are The Days. I keep my camera handy through every song. Elijah takes notice of us standing there. He steals a glance at us when he has a chance to breath. He's singing a lot stronger than I'd ever seen online.
Then they play through a few more songs on the new album. I sing along, I dance, I try not to get blinded by the flashing lights. Then all of a sudden they've finished playing Love Will Get You There and he turns to look right at me.
"This next song..." His words are pretty slurred. He's drunk. "This is an old one. I wrote this when I was about 17. There was this girl at my school who I just liked so much— I couldn't even focus in class. I played it to her once we'd got it perfect and she had not a single clue that it was about her. She still doesn't. It's been six years and I've never told her." He pauses and looks at me. "This is for you."
I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I raise an eyebrow at him. He just starts strumming along with his guitar. That's when I realise he's playing I Want You. They'd played that song to me in Elijah's garage. I asked him who it was about. He lied and said it was about his ex-girlfriend. I never thought twice about it. I never listened to it because it made me sick to my stomach that it was about her. A girl who I had been so jealous of.
"You got your lipstick on..." He starts singing. He's literally pointing at me. The crowd looks confused. They can't see me.
"Oh, Jesus," Robyn exclaims. "Oh, wow. I can't believe this. He's fucking confessing! Dally, I'm so happy for you right now. What the hell!"
Robyn is just as shocked as I am. We're both slack-jawed, wide-eyed yet caught in a silence as the song goes on. The crowd sings along with each and every line. The other members of the band have caught on with what is happening. They all seem to be pretty proud. Especially Josh. He's smiling so big it's making me smile too.
The truth is, I don't want the song to end. Or the show. I just want this moment to drag on forever. It all feels too good to be true.
The song finishes, the lights switch off, the crowd screams. I'm left in the darkness. Robyn is holding onto my side for dear life. The only thing illuminating the world around us is a tiny light bulb above us. My eyes start to get used to the darkness. I see a figure approaching.
"Can you come with me?" It's Elijah. His cheeks are tinged a shade of bright red. There's sweat lining his throat and his chest. He's taken off the blazer and has slung it over his shoulder. The eyeliner has bled down a little.
"Yeah..." I'm exasperated. My throat is raw from singing so much. My brain can barely process what is happening around me. My hands want to reach out and hold him close to me.
He grabs my hand, pulling me down through a corridor. We're both running towards the back door. I'm trying to match his pace but his longer legs give him an unfair advantage.
We finally reach the exit. He opens the door for me, allows me to pass through then shuts it. I'm met by London streets. Brick walls, crooked alleyways, a rubbish bin. It's not particularly romantic. But, with him standing there in front of me, it becomes the most romantic place on Earth.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like that," he admits. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you when you left. I was going to tell you at the airport when you were about to leave Dublin. So that you could think it through without us seeing each other every day. Then I got fucking terrified."
"I was going to tell you then too." I press my back against the wall. He's pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He offers me one. I let it rest between my lips. "I had plucked up some courage after I went to the toilet but then I sat beside you and forgot the whole script I'd planned out in my head. That was a pretty awkward five minutes. Felt like a century."
"We're idiots, aren't we?" He says as he lights his cigarette. "Josh has always known. I don't know how he never told you. He's great at keeping secrets. Six years of keeping his mouth shut. I don't know how he has that much self control."
"Six years?" I blow out a puff of smoke into the air. My eyes wander across the star covered sky. The moon is looming and watching us.
"I know." He's blushing again. He's trying to keep his distance from me, leaving a slight gap between us. "I'm pathetic."
"I liked you for longer."
"What?"
"Eight years. Since the day you started dating the blonde girl." I feel stupid saying it out loud. He's laughing at me.
"That's class."
We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I can hear ambulance sirens and birds calling. The brick walls is hard against my back. My shoes are covered in water from standing in a puddle. I can imagine that there's a camera above us. This could be a scene straight out of a film.
"Are you going to kiss me then?" Some sudden burst of confidence brings those words from my lips.
He's taken aback. His eyes fall down to my mouth. He then takes a step closer. I can feel his breath at my cheeks.
"Do you want me to?" His voice goes all low and his accent gets thicker. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. Metal presses against my cheekbone. His thumb lazily draws a line across my bottom lip. His words hang in the air. "Dahlia, my love. Do you—"
I press my lips to his. I can't hold back anymore. I can taste the smoke on his tongue. His mouth is minty and his lips are soft. I've imagined this moment countless times. In a bookstore, in a train station, in the garage. But, this is perfect. Perfect.
My fingers sink into his hair. He groans into my mouth as I pull a few strands at the back. His thumb is sliding across my cheekbones. He's dropped the cigarette to instead use his other hand to clutch my waist. My hands are at his chest. His heart is beating incredibly fast. He holds me tight against him until I feel his chest rise and fall. Up and down. Breathing in and out.
We hear voices behind us. He pulls away quickly. We both turn to see a group of fans. They're teenagers and they're all dressed in bright outfits. They didn't see anything but they seem rather suspicious, whispering.
"Eli! Oh my God!! Can you take my BeReal please?" One of them shouts over.
Elijah runs his fingers over his lips. His ears are a pink shade. He slides his hand away from my waist.
"Yeah, sure!" He approaches the three girls with a small smile. He's trying to act normal. "I love your hats." He points at the 3 cowboy hats which spell out the word 'Inhaler' when they're all stood side-by-side.
"Thank you so much!" The darker haired girl passes him her phone. "Your eyeliner looks so good. You should do it like that more often."
"I had a grand makeup artist." He winks. I roll my eyes.
"Could Dahlia be in it?" The girl with glasses notices how I've awkwardly shifted to the side.
"Course she can," Elijah says.
I stand in the frame next to Elijah as he holds up the phone. His lips are red after being stained by my lipstick. I drop my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes. He nestles his face into my hair as he takes the picture. We're both giggling like lunatics.
I'm so glad it happened like this.
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rhettabbotts · 1 year
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Any chance you’d consider writing one about Yellowstone Ryan, for smut prompts 10 (“you need a place to stay for the night”) or 21 (“Bite me.” “If you insist”)? I can just picture the war between his snarky humor and being a gentleman!
i started giggling and twirling my hair when i saw this
pairing: ryan (yellowstone) x fem!reader
w/c: 1.4k
warnings: 18+ only. friends to lovers. drinking. heated make out session. dry humping. ryan’s sexy beard and long hair.
a/n: i know this is very niche but i adore ryan sm and i loved writing for him 🥺
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“You’re a dirty little cheater!” You shouted as you threw your cards down on the wooden surface and pointed your finger towards the man sitting at the end of the table.
“And you’re a sore loser,” Ryan muttered, a smug smile spreading across his face as he took another swig of his Budweiser. Teeter was grabbing your arm before you could stand up, pulling you back down into your chair before you could lunge towards the cowboy.
Ryan was one of your best friends, truly, but he made you want to pull your hair out sometimes. He was the first one who welcomed you when you started coming around with Laramie. The one who would keep you company while her and Walker were off god knows where doing god knows what. He was the one that picked at you and took your jabs with stride, usually smarting off right back. To an outsider, it would look like you couldn’t stand each other, but you knew that wasn’t the case.
You never envisioned her little fling would lead to you spending your weekends at the Yellowstone Ranch, playing poker with a bunch of half drunk cowboys. Ryan took the time to teach you how to play, even though he was terrible at it himself. Which is probably why he looks so proud that he beat you, never beating anyone that usually participated in a game. You slumped down in your chair, arms crossed over your chest and a prominent pout on your lips as you looked to Ryan.
“Quit lookin’ at me like that,” he expressed, “I’m not feeling sorry for you.”
You stuck your tongue out at him as he shuffled the cards for the next round. You sat and watched Ryan’s hands as they moved along the cards, completely tuning out each voice. He had nice hands, a feature you caught yourself eyeing more often than you’d like to admit. You would never voice this out loud but you sometimes daydreamed about how it’d feel to hold his hand, how they’d feel roaming over your body. How they’d feel grabbing your thr-
“Hello??? Did you hear me?” Ryan’s questioning shook you out of your inappropriate thoughts and you felt like a deer caught in the headlights. You shook your head, waiting for him to repeat himself.
“Do you wanna play another round?”
“No. I’m- I’m okay, I’ll sit this one out. Maybe I’ll learn how to win.” You said jokingly, hoping he wouldn’t question why you spaced out. You found yourself doing that more and more the longer you were around Ryan. You had conflicting feelings, you adored him as a friend, but you also couldn’t help the fluttering butterflies in your stomach every time he looked at you softly or when he went out of his way during the week to text or call you. Sure, you teased each other to no end, bickering at every chance you got. That seemed to make your feelings that much worse.
“We’re gonna go out to Bozeman, grab a few drinks,” Colby said as he stood from his seat, “who all wants to come?” Each person nodded in agreement except for you. You were tired, not up for the excitement of what going to a bar in Bozeman might bring. You politely shook your head, getting up to grab a glass of water and busy yourself with putting away some of the empty beer bottles. The others got ready to head out for their night out as you sat on the couch. Teeter stopped before walking out the door to check on you. You told her you were fine, that you’d probably put a movie on and crash. The door shut behind her and you were finally alone - or so you thought.
Ryan plopped down on the couch next to you, letting out a long sigh and spreading his legs just a tad. You sat there and stared at him until he finally acknowledged you.
“What?”
“What do you mean ‘what?’ I thought you were going out?” You spoke in a hushed tone.
“Eh, didn’t feel like it. You don’t mind me crashing your movie night, do you?” Ryan nudged you slightly, smirking at you.
“I guess I don’t have another choice,” You said, moving a minuscule amount closer to the cowboy. For someone who just watched rodeos, Ryan was very picky about what movie you put on. He claimed he didn’t want to watch any ‘chick flicks’ and you told him he had no opinion since it was supposed to be your alone time. You finally settled on ‘When Harry Met Sally’.
Ryan surprisingly stayed quiet for the majority of the movie, making random comments here and there. You don’t know how it happened but when you realized it, you were pressed into his side. His arm was resting along the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against the nape of your neck absentmindedly. At the love confession scene, you couldn’t help but tear up. No matter how many times you had seen the film, it still hit you hard.
“Awe, are you crying, sweetheart?” Ryan asked, tone light mixed with slight concern.
“Oh, bite me. It’s such a good confession, okay!” You exclaimed, pulling away slightly to look at him as the end credits rolled.
“Well, if you insist…” He said, so low you almost missed it. He had a look on his face that you could only describe as wanting. His eyes flickered down to your lips and you felt your breath catch in your throat.
“Ryan,” you breathed, voice barely above a whisper.
“Can I- Can I kiss you?” One big, callused hand cupped your cheek, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. You were afraid of your voice failing you so you just nodded, whimpering slightly as his lips attached to yours. It didn’t take long for the kiss to turn needy. Your hand found their way into his greying curls, tugging lightly on them which earned you a groan from the man. His hands wandered down to your hips, pulling until you were seated in his lap. Your mouth opened in a gasp as you felt his hard cock against your core, causing Ryan to slip his tongue inside. Your hips moved on their own accord as his kisses moved away from your mouth and down your jaw, biting at the tendon in your neck.
“Been thinking about this for a long time, baby,” He said, words muffled against your skin. You moved against him that much faster, the denim of his jeans causing a delicious friction against your thin panties. The skirt of your dress fanned out below you. You could feel the cool metal of his belt buckle press into your pubic bone, sending a shiver down your spine.
“Ryan, we need- oh, god- we need to talk about this,” your words coming out in near whines. You angled your hips just so and moaned loudly into the empty bunkhouse. Ryan was grunting into your skin, hands roaming up your back and tugging at your hair, causing you to arch against him. You were nearly there, so close you could almost taste it. That was until you heard a truck door slam, and loud laughter coming from outside the door. You froze in Ryan’s lap, panic washing over the both of you. Quickly moving off of him, you straightened your dress and fussed with your hair until you felt like you looked presentable. He grabbed one of the throw pillows and placed it over his very obvious bulge, shooting you an apologetic look as everyone filtered back inside.
“Well, that was a quick trip…” Ryan said, clearly annoyed.
They all spoke at the same time, the only thing you caught was that Teeter suggested body shots and that was their cue to leave. You willed your heart rate to slow down, avoiding eye contact with everyone - especially Ryan. While everyone busied themselves with their nighttime routines, you found your pinky interlocked with Ryan’s on the couch. He looked over to you and smiled, causing you to bow your head shyly. You didn’t know what all of this meant for your relationship, but whatever it was, you were ready to face it head on. What you didn’t see was Colby smiling to himself, eyeing the mark on your neck and the lovesick look in his best friend’s eyes.
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