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romeulusroy · 1 year

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Being Shiv's Twin With Depression Would Include:

Requested: Can I request a Succession headcanon for being Shiv's twin who struggles with depression, please? - anon

A/N: I love these requests cuse I'm a twin and I feel like I have inside knowledge lol like I have cheat codes. Anyways, thank you for requesting my love!!! Hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Shiv is definitely the oldest twin

As the oldest, she takes her duties very seriously. From blowing out the birthday candles first, to reminding you that she's a whole year older for the amount of time it took you to be born, to protecting you from other kids at school when they're being mean

She loves you more than life itself, she would do anything to protect you. As far as Shiv is concerned, she's the only one who can call you names and push you around. Anyone else, even your brothers, are off limits. She's incredibly defensive over you. You could do no wrong, even when you do, it's never your fault

"Y/n hit me!"

"No they didn't!"

"Yes they did!"

"You deserved it then."

When Logan is cruel to you or dismisses you, Shiv is the one you cry to. She's the one who, in a moment of pure insanity, goes to Logan and demands that he be nicer to you. You beg her not to, but it's too late. He laughs in her face, dismissing her as well, but at least she gave it a good shot. She does it more as a reminder that she'd do anything for you, including standing up to him for you

"Don't listen to him, he's a mean old man."

"What if it's true? What if I'm stupid?"

"Are you kidding? You're the smartest person I know."

Your mother still goes on and on about how carrying twins ruined her body. You just share a knowing look, that for the rest of your lives you'll have to hear about what a burden you were before you were even born

You and Shiv are by far the closest siblings. You share everything: a room, secrets, even your own twin-language. You can still sort of speak it now, with a few words, which creeps everyone out. Your father made a rule at the dinner table that a language everyone knows must be spoken because Roman would get upset and Kendall would get annoyed. You don't need words though, just a look can tell you everything

Shiv is the Dandelion child, she can thrive under any circumstances. She doesn't mind the pressures, all the unspoken rules and tension. It doesn't bother her. You, on the other hand, are the Orchid child. You don't thrive in the Roy household. You're anxious and sensitive and when you're at school or with friends or even with your mother you're able to come out of your shell. At home you wilt, and Shiv is the only one who understands this, who sees this and tries her best to fix this

Where Shiv thrives in your teenage years, you start to feel this overwhelming sense of dread, this horrible exhausted, overwhelmed, terrible feeling you don't have a name for. You are riddled with insecurity, with self-doubt and self-criticism. It feels horrible. You feel like you bruise too easily, like everything hurts. You find it hard to get out of bed, to find joy in things, to be yourself. You're not showering or brushing your teeth. You have this overwhelming urge to hurt yourself to find relief. Shiv is the first to notice, but she doesn't know what's wrong or how to fix it

She doesn't have a word for it either. She tries her best to help you, planning weekends so you're not stuck in bed, helping you with deadlines and homework so you don't fall behind, so you don't suffer under your father's wrath. She wants to shake you out of it, hoping it's just a bug or a rut

It's not though and not long after you break down in tears in front of her, scared, exhausted, tired of existing like this, tired of existing at all. She knows she can't go to either parent about this, so she goes to the school guidance counselor and sets up a meeting. When you come out of it, it's the first time you say the word Depression. Neither of you knew anything about mental health. What your father says is mostly jokes or making fun of someone. Whatever Connors mother suffered from, he had her locked away because of it. You make a pact right then and there not to tell Logan. Shiv makes you promise when you feel this way, you talk to her about it. She'll help you figure it out

And you do. Nothing is off limits between you. When you lose your appetite, she's the one who sits with you and makes you eat. She brushes your hair and helps you get dressed. She organizes everything in the bathroom to make it easier to get washed in the morning. It pains her to see you hurting

Neither your father or mother notice anything different and though your brothers suspect something might be up, they know better than to interfere

For years this goes on. You meet with the counselor once a week and talk to Shiv when you feel like you aren't burdening her. Eventually she catches on to these feelings and reminds you often there is nothing you could do to bother her. Nothing

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Yes possible."

There are times when you don't feel any kind of depression and other times where it feels suffocating, like you'll never see the end of it. Either way, you know with Shiv by your side, you'll get through it

She worries about you to no end. It's her job as big sister to protect you, protect you from everything. How can she protect you from your own mind? She does lots of research. What it is, how to help, how it's treated, etc.

One you graduate and are out of the house, Shiv not so subtly finds you a real therapist, someone qualified to really help and diagnose you. For her, you go and it's there that you're diagnosed with depression. You're put on medication/s and go every two weeks

She checks in wirh you, seeing how you're doing, how it's going, how you're feeling

It's been under control for a while now, you've never felt better. It lingers of course, but you're finding ways to handle it, to cope

You know if you didn't have Shiv you wouldn't be here today

When your brothers find out years later, far into your adulthood, Shiv makes it known any jokes about it won't be tolerated

"Can I just-"

"If you like where you're intestines are, you'll keep quiet."

"Noted."

Connor feels terrible that you had to go through it alone, but you assure him you weren't alone. You had Shivy. You thank her for everything, every time she calls, every time she texts, every time you talk. She just shrugs it off like its no big deal, but it was, it is

When you're having an especially hard time you know her guest room is always available. Tom becomes used to seeing the two of you in there, asleep or talking. She makes it known that her place is also your place, that you're welcome anytime

"What about you, how are you doing?"

"You know me, I can thrive in any conditions."

"Shivy. . ."

"I know what you mean. I'm okay, really."

You're still as close as ever

You talk about everything, including your marriages, your brothers, Gojo and Matsson and the election. You're always the one who makes her laugh, really laugh and can take her mind off anything

"Where would I be without you?"

"Ohio, probably."

"Shut up!"

Shiv knows a lot about your depression, more so than anyone. She was there when it started and she'll be there til the end. She never judges or doubts you because of it. She knows it makes life a hell of a lot harder. You're doing your best, even when you don't feel like it, even when you feel like you're not. She loves you, you're her twin after all

#requested #headcanon #shiv roy #shiv roy headcanon #shiv roy imagine #succession #succession headcanon #succession imagine #shiv roy x reader #succession x reader

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twinge-of-cosmicangst · 2 years

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Thinking about the Kendall line in the first season “Buisness is my fucking” and how Shiv is unfaithful to Tom sexually BUT how she was interested in getting Tom very high up at Waystar, so she could have influence in the company through him, which would be mutually beneficial for both of them but even when she decided she wanted the top job for herself she still did want Tom to do well in the company, she did haggle the ATN job for him with Logan. Also worth noting that even though she clearly loves her brothers she literally choose Kendall to take the wrap over cruises rather then say Tom should take the wrap and loose his job, when Logan asked for her opinion. Whereas Tom has been sexually faithful to Shiv (Other then Tabitha snowballing incident, but he did get permission from Shiv) and yet he is the one who betrayed her when it came to their “buisness relationship” to a point where she literally lost her job.

After what Tom did it’s hard to tell which is the worse spouse (it’s pretty close imo) but from Shiv’s point of view Tom is obviously the worst offender because like her brother “business is her fucking” and Tom betrayed her in the buisness sense. Tom and Shiv were supposed to work together to gain as much power and influence at Waystar as possible, even when towards the end of season 3 when their marriage was going pretty badly and Shiv had pretty much forgotten about Tom’s place in the company she still relied on him to help her with the rise of her own position in the company, she was plotting Roman’s downfull with him, and she had no doubt that he would do her bidding as the head of ATN when it came to the supermajority, she TRUSTED him with this very delicate information, despite it being clear that Tom didn’t trust Shiv in any sense by the end of season 3.

A lot of men whose wife tells them to their face that they don’t love them (I actually do think she does love him, but that’s not the point) a wife who is also unfaithful, said husband would probably decide to be unfaithful as well, and Tom did, but not sexually, because, buisness is Tom’s fucking too, and he made sure Greg gets promoted as well as him, in his deal with Logan while simultaneously ruining his wife’s career. From Tom’s pov it’s no longer Tom and Shiv who are the Waystar power couple it’s Tom and Greg, in Tom’s fucked mind Greg is basically his work wife, a replacement of Shiv, hense Nero and Sporus. Other people have pointed out how Greg is framed to look like “the other woman” in the show, the main example of this is obviously the scenes where, Tom refused sex from Shiv, then looked over at her at night, made sure she was asleep and then called Greg, showing Greg also in bed then showing both of them in a diner late at night. Tom is basically metaphorically cheating on Shiv with Greg. And there’s no way for season 4 to avoid the weird corporate love triangle they’ve created with Tom, Shiv, and Greg. They’ll have to address it some way, surely. There is inevitably going to be tension between Tom and Shiv but I think there will probably be tension between Shiv and Greg as well (even if it’s just from Shiv’s side, as in Shiv totally hating Greg, and Greg just basically being indifferent to her, athough I do think Greg could develop contempt for her as well as ken and Rome, because of how they obviously view themselves as superior to him)

#this has all been said before I’m sure but I wanted to weave Kendall’s buisness is my fucking live into it because it’s relevant #tomgreg #tomshiv #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #greg hirsch #succ session #succession #some people are gonna think this actually supports togan truthism rather then tomgreg and honestly: fair

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cauldronofmorning · 1 year

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if the roy’s watched better call saul and breaking bad who would their favourite (and least favourite) characters be?

ooh fun (paging @kimwexlers-brownhair and @myplasticadversary for their takes too)

Kendall would love Kim as she'd satisfy his "yay toppy women" thing despite the fact if he met her in real life he'd stop listening to her after five minutes. Jesse and Chuck would be far too close for home to him.

Jimmy is a spiteful brat who would do anything for his wife so Shiv would love him, but cheer him on getting worse. I think she'd have a lot of nasty things to say about Skyler and Marie.

Logan would love Walt, no doubt about it (he'd also be on Chuck's side, but Chuck is also "ill and weak"), but I can't see him having any sympathy for Gus.

Roman would think Howard is a beta cuck but little man also would totally be a Lalo Girl (gn).

Tom would envision himself as Nacho, scrappy and in a bad position because Tom likes to think of himself as victim of the world (i.e Roys) but also see Hank as ruining the meth fun.

Greg would love Walt as he's making his way to the top ranks and call Skyler a bitch (yeah I see you calling Shiv a bitch Braun). He'd mock Jesse for crying too, and I don't imagine him even getting through Saul.

Ewan would be a "Chuck is always right" guy and see no irony in this. He'd also be one of those "Jimmy was a sociopath from the age of nine" and "he should stay forever in jail".

Caroline would like Saul but not Jimmy, and tell Shiv constantly that she and Kim are far too similar, and should work on being nicer to their mothers.

#too many to tag #succession #better call saul #breaking bad

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miss-morgans-lover · 6 months

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She's His (Kendall/Shelby) Part 2

Prompt: Why am I so afraid to lose you, when you're not even mine?

The perfect boy who has all the girls and many boys lusting after him. He could get anyone, but he goes for the girl I love. I understand the they love each other, but his affections towards her have been swayed towards Ivan. She deserves better than that. Though, in his defence, I don’t think he’s totally aware of his wandering eyes and staring. It’s kind of amusing.

And as I’ve said, despite all this I’m scared to lose her. Perhaps the reason is that I’m scared any declaration of my real feelings will make things awkward and ruin the platonic relationship we currently have. Maybe I’m scared that she will tell the media my feelings, though I doubt that would happen. Maybe I’m scared of the commitment it will bring and the necessity for honesty. I may very well be scared she will find out about my trauma and leave me, not wanting to deal with it and/ or tell the media.

No matter what the reason is, I’m scared to lose her in any way, but she isn’t mine to lose. We’re not even close friends. Friends, maybe, but close friends, no. She barely talks to me. Why would she though, she rarely has a reason to. I wish she would talk to me, I want her to. She has such a beautiful voice, I could listen to it all day.

Part of me wishes that I never felt this way in the first place, then I wouldn’t have this issue. The jealousy. Though, a bigger part of me is glad that I do, because my feelings for her changed me for the better. She made me realise that I was wrong in the way I was acting, and don’t ask me how as I have no clue. But she did. It was my sexual issues, having too much sex that she snapped me out of. It had become a coping mechanism for me, much like alcohol did a few years back. I’m better now because of my family, my therapist, my social worker and her. Shelby helped me without even knowing it.

I wish she knew, I want her to know. To know how important she is to me.

I want her to be mine. To be my girlfriend. My partner. My love. But she’s his. Not mine.

I look over to her and see her smiling at Tyler. I can’t help but stare, she’s beautiful. She turns towards me and meets my eyes. She smiles at me. I smile back and lift up my hand to beckon her over. I could do with some help on my current ranger project, plus it will give me an excuse to spend some time with her. She tells Tyler goodbye before walking over to me. She glances at the computer screen before looking up to me.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi, could you take a look at this, I can’t seem to get it right,” I ask her.

“You want me to take a look?” she asks, surprised.

“Yeah, it is your area, is it not?” I reply, “the more scientific area of chemicals and such is a strong suit of yours, unless I got it wrong?”

“No, you’re right, but why ask me?” she pauses, “why not Riley?”

“Because, whilst Riley can do this, he isn’t as good as you and me, I need a fresh pair of eyes that knows what they are looking at,” I tell her.

“I thought you hated me,” she says, quietly, as she looks back at the screen.

“Hate you?” I ask, “I don’t hate you, why do you think that?”

“You’re a smart girl Shelby, and I apologise for making you think I hate you, I never have,” I pause, then add, “ I actually rather admire you, in a way.”

“You admire me?” she questions, “why?”

Smiling I say, “because you've come so far since you got here. You started out as a clumsy waitress who wouldn’t talk to anyone, but now. Now you aren’t so clumsy, you, you are more than happy to get yourself dirty during digs, You’ve come out of your shell so much, and you’re a damn good pink ranger.”

“Thank you!” she says, smiling now.

“Plus, you’re very smart, you could rival me, in more ways than one,” I tell her.

“Really?” she asks, happy. I nod.

She throws her arms around me in a hug, and I hug her back. It takes her a second to realise what she did, and she tries to pull away, I keep her there for a couple seconds before letting her go.

“I’m so sorry!” she says incredulous.

“It’s ok, I don’t mind, actually, I kinda enjoyed it,” I tell her, honestly, trying to calm her.

“You enjoyed it?” she asks, surprised but calmer.

“Yep, you’re a comforting person, plus, I don’t get many hugs,” I admit.

“In that case, can I hug you again?” she asks.

I nod.

We hug again, and it feels so nice to have it. Her of all the people hugging me. This makes all the jealousy go away. For the moment I’m happy, I’m content.

For the moment it doesn’t matter that she’s his.

#kendall morgan #power rangers dino charge #power rangers dino super charge #the twilight saga #power rangers #purple ranger #twilight #kendall x shelby #shelby watkins #250 posts #power rangers fanfic #power rangers/twilight crossover #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #shes his fanfic

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brookheimer · 1 year

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It makes sense for them to include the pregnancy plot line but it doesn’t make it good or revolutionary and I think that’s such a shallow take on the situation. Her entire storyline has been the whole “if only she was a man” thing, where her main plot lines have been hating other woman, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant. If the only thing we end up knowing about Shiv’s desires and life revolve around her child, that’s not revolutionary at all. Kendall has kids, but he is also a fully fleshed out character that can exist outside of that. Acting like “strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline. It doesn’t make it bad, the entire show is a fucked up storyline, but it’s not some beautiful win for feminism

wooooah okay i was not at all saying her entire desires and life would revolve around her kid but rather that being pregnant forces her to self-reflect on the fact that she is not, in fact, a man, which would likely have important implications for her relationships with both the men and the women in her life, help us understand her interiority better (which right now we don't because she's always been very very dedicated to convincing herself she's something she isn't -- it would help HER understand her interiority better too), and overall just be kind of the catalyst for introspection in a way shiv hasn't been, like, provoked to do before. also i'm not saying it's inherently good or revolutionary just because they included a pregnancy plot! i'm saying that it has the POTENTIAL TO BE, which it does.

as always under the mf cut

'“strong girlboss lead who has never accomplished anything in the show and is reminded of how her womanhood limits everything she does has to reconcile the way her body and ability to become pregnant can also be weaponized against her” is actually a fucked up storyline' .....i don't understand. for one thing, i did not say jackshit about her pregnancy being weaponized against her. that is not at all what i was saying she had to reconcile with. i was saying she had to reconcile with the fact that she simply will not be seen as a man, and that maybe that's okay, and maybe she can still be a ~girlboss~ while still yknow being a girl. why are yall acting like pregnancy is this inherently agency-robbing thing that only exists to ruin the characterizations of strong women? you do know that it exists in real life, right? like, is this what you think about women who are pregnant in real life? because, like, everything you just described is just... i mean, that's not unique to this plot point. that's just part and parcel of being born with a womb. that's just fucking LIFE. that's just how shit IS sometimes. like YES you can be a strong girlboss and still not accomplish anything because a) you're a woman surrounded by men b) you're desperately attempting to act like a man and in reality are only performing a parody of 'masculinity' that's more harmful to you than it is helpful, but you feel it's the only way to survive, YES your womanhood limits everything you does (so long as 'everything' means 'success in your male-dominated career aspirations among your misogynistic family'), YES your body and ability to become pregnant can be weaponized. that's not inherently a fucked up sexist plotline? that's just how life is for a lot of women???? so why the fuck is it bad to show a woman struggling to reconcile with that FACT because it is a fucking FACT?! it is a FACT that women are judged for being pregnant!!! it is not a fucked up plotline to acknowledge that!!!!! what WOULD BE fucked up is centering her entire character around becoming a mother or something, which i just really fucking doubt they'll do. instead, i think it'll be used as a way to explore parts of shiv we haven't seen.

also, saying shiv's main plot lines have been "hating other women, fighting with her husband, and now being pregnant" .... like. i don't know man. did you kind of forget the part where she was a political consultant or fighting to become ceo of a major conglomerate or something? i would maybe argue that... well, that fighting to become ceo of waystar is her main plot line. not... hating other women? really, the only thing we know about shiv's life and desires is that she wants to be fucking ceo of waystar so she can get logan's approval. that is it. that is why i would like to know more about her PERSONAL life. about her PERSONAL wants and needs and desires -- maybe it's to have kids, maybe it's to never fucking have kids whatsoever and jetset around the world. i don't care!!! i just want to learn more about whatever is underneath her veneer of 'masculinity,' whatever is outside of her relationships with men. aaaaaaaaaaand i think having to deal with something as personal and body-focused and life-changing as a pregnancy will force her to ask questions about herself she's always been too afraid to ask, and i'm interested to see what the answers are!!!

it's not revolutionary to have a pregnancy plotline. fucking obviously. what WOULD be revolutionary is allowing a character who has defined herself by, as you said, wishing she was a man -- allowing her to still be her same ole manipulative masculine whatever self while still allowing her to consider a life involving a family or love. just consider!!!! because i don't think she even has. her focus is ONLY on career, on success, on being respected. like, actually, the only aspects of her 'desires' etc that we DONT know are those related to love and family. we know what she wants career wise! why are you acting like she hasn't been incredibly career-focused this entire time? i just want to know what shiv roy wants on a human level!!! because i don't think anyone is JUST SATISFIED with career!!!!! not saying you need kids, god no idek if i'll have kids fr, but that there is more to life outside of that. so i want to know what she wants from life, because frankly, i don't think she's had the time or energy to even focus on that with how desperately she's had to fight to stay in the room. but now she has to actually start considering herself as an individual with a life outside waystar -- something she really hasn't done since she worked for gil in season one. ever since, her life has been waystar waystar waystar. but pregnancy.... well. that's something that's her own, especailly given that no one else knows about it right now. so i want to know more about shiv. that's all. and that's what i think this arc can tell us, and that's why i'm excited for it.

#sorry if this is bitchy it's just 2 am i have a fever and my inbox is flooded with some really really strange takes. not saying this one is #necessarily Horrible but there are some fucking weird ones in my asks rn. kiiiiinda feels like ppl just read the first two like sentences #let alone below the read more and then wrote angry asks. again not saying that's THIS anon just in general. c'est la mf vie #well. hopefully someone understood what i was getting at w the shiv post. maybe it's only something that makes sense to ppl who #have witnessed a lot of like really weird bad pregnancy/abortion plotlines for career women before. iiiii dont know #anon just know my frustration here is not actually entirely on you it's more just generally so sorry if i took it out here LOL. appreciate #you sending an ask anyways like i'd always prefer talking about shit than not. i just feel like i'm repeating myself a lot here and i wish #people could just. idk. read the shit i've already said in other posts LOL. but ya know. here we are! ok have a good night sorry for the #ramble this is certainly not gonna be my finest essay but am i going to read it over? no! i am going to hit post go to bed and then wake up #and be like why did i do that #so! hitting post and going to bed #guten nacht #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy #asks #anon

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bxtchforstyles · 3 years

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I’ll Get There.

Harry Styles X Y/N

Y/N has been struggling with her body image ever since she was a teenager, but now that she was becoming a big time model, it had only gotten worse.

Warnings: mentions of eating disorders, and symptoms similar to those of a panic attack.

Word count: 2.4k+

gif not mine.

Y/N never realized that not everyone gets dizzy when they stand up too fast.

She just figured that it was something that happened to everybody, especially since it had been happening to her for years.

That’s why she was always confused when people asked what was wrong when she had to stop for a moment to gain her balance after standing up from where she was sitting.

It was later though, when Y/N realized exactly why everyone thought she was sick when she stood.

She had also been happily dating her boyfriend Harry for almost two years now, that’s when it got the worst.

Growing up in the spotlight, Y/N never realized how much it took a toll on your self image. She never liked your body, or your face, or your hair, or anything really.

And it didn’t help that her mother was a famous model for all of her teenage years, which was only ruined when she had Y/N accidentally at the age of twenty two.

She was an amazing mother nonetheless, but Y/N had always carried this sense of guilt among her unborn self. She knew that her mother was easily one of the most sought after models of her generation, and almost everyone knew who she was.

So when the tabloids got ahold of the fact she was pregnant, her career was basically over.

Babies ruin your body.

At around the age of sixteen, Y/N began to get into modeling, just like her mom, and just like the media had expected.

‘She’s a natural’

‘She takes after her mother’

‘Let’s hope she doesn’t make the same mistake her mother made’

She had heard it all.

But with the modeling industry, comes diets, and workouts, and healthy, green, disgusting smoothies. All of which were very bad for your mental state, by the way.

The modeling world was a whole different work than the one Y/N had been surrounded by for the first fifteen years of her life, and now she was in this new world, she realized how much prettier everyone else around her was.

It wasn’t bad at first, it was just a few skipped snacks, maybe a skipped meal here and there.

It wasn’t anything serious, it was just a calorie deficit, which is what she thought she needed anyway.

Everyone told her she looked wonderful, and that only encouraged her more.

It slowly progressed until she was around eighteen, she was put in an overnight hospital stay once, but it was simply brushed aside, since she claimed her malnourishment was just due to stress.

She promised her mother that she would start consciously eating more again.

She promised.

But later that year was when she began dating Harry. It was wonderful, and she didn’t have any doubts that she was beautiful, and he made sure of that.

But now two years later, the two of them were still going strong.

Y/N had gotten the job of any model's dream, getting to premiere at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show.

And it just so happened that her very own boyfriend was chosen to be the performer.

Y/N was excited at first, finally getting the chance to be able to get on stage with her boyfriend. But that didn’t last very long when she went on twitter a little after the announcement had been posted.

It was safe to say that most of Harry’s fans were not very pleased that she was going to be walking in the show.

But there was one tweet that made her particularly sick to her stomach.

It said; “It would be ten times cuter if it was Kendall walking that runway, Y/N could never compare to her”

It had now been almost a week since she had read that tweet, and it had made her want to cry. She had definitely had her moments where she fell completely apart while in the shower, but she could never do that in front of Harry.

She wouldn’t even know where to start.

Y/N had always been the type of person to hide her emotions, and most of the time she did it very well, that was until the dam finally broke.

That's when she decided to take a hot shower, thinking maybe it would relax her, and maybe even burn a few calories.

Harry didn't even realize how long his girlfriend had been in the shower, until he went to run the dishwasher and it wouldn't start.

That meant that there was zero hot water.

“Y/N?” He knocked on the bathroom door, hoping for a response, “are you okay?”

He didn't get a response at all, not vocally at least.

He heard the water turn off from inside the bathroom, figuring that his voice must have broken her out of a gaze of some sort.

He knocked again, “baby? Are you okay? You've been in there a while.”

His voice trailed off when he heard the door open slightly, promoting for him to open the ajar door fully.

Harry was shocked at what he saw, closing the door behind them to give them some privacy, even though no one else lived in their apartment.

The sight of the small girl was definitely a confusing one to Harry, seeing that he had no clue what Y/n had been struggling with for the past years, but especially the past few years.

She was curled in a ball, her arms wrapped around her legs, pulling them to her chest with her back against the wall. Sitting next to her was the digital scale that Harry frequently used to check his weight.

He approached her slowly, not wanting to startle her or make her think he was mad at her in any way.

When he got close enough to read the number that was being shown on the scale, he was appalled. He had to hold back his gasp as he crouched in front of her in order for his eyes to be level with hers.

“Hey,” He placed a hand on top of her knee, trying to grab her attention. “What’s the matter, love?” He was genuinely concerned for her now that he saw the fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

The only thing that his girlfriend did though, was look back down at her hands once they dropped to her lap, the tears continued flowing.

“You know you can tell me anything baby, I’m right here.”

“I-” The sniffles and hiccups that still leave her small body were absolutely heartbreaking to Harry. “I just, I hate m-myself.”

Harry didn’t even want to imagine what his facial expression looked like in that moment, because hearing his girl say that, absolutely broke him.

“Y/N,” He finally spoke shakily, rubbing his hands up and down her thighs as her legs straightened. “W-why?”

He never would have imagined that she was feeling like this, and that made him feel awful knowing that he maybe could have helped her sooner. She had been hurting for god knows how long and he had no idea.

“I know that you say that you think I’m pretty, and beautiful-” She cuts herself off when another sob racks her body. “But sometimes I think you just tell me that so you don’t hurt my feelings.”

It had taken her a while to regain her breathing at times, and Harry could see why. Her body was clearly fragile, and was working way harder than it should have to just to keep her lungs pumping.

He walked into their bedroom that was connected to the bathroom, quickly grabbing the Gatorade that he had set on the dresser a few moments ago when he had begun knocking on the door.

“Here, take a drink baby.” He tried to put the plastic bottle in her hand, but she wouldn’t even hold it before she was immediately pushing it away. “Y/N, you need to drink something.”

Her tears only got stronger, her breath becoming more erratic as she shook her head no.

Her skin was pale, and the bones of shoulder protruded from her body. She looked sick, but Harry didn’t want to admit that, even to himself.

“I can’t, Harry, I can’t.” The breath that she exhaled was ragged, prompting him to put the hand that wasn’t holding the Gatorade bottle on her back, running it up and down.

“Yes, you can baby. I promise, I will be here the entire time.” He nodded encouragingly, but she didn’t say a word. “Can you please just take one sip? If not you for, for me.”

The daunting look that she gave the plastic bottle was enough to make her start hyperventilating. “You don’t get it.”

“I know I don't,” He sighed loudly, “but I want to.”

“Why me?” Her voice was barely audible, making so Harry didn’t even hear what she said at first.

“What?” His large, ring-clad hand was still rubbing up and down her back in an attempt to make her breathe even out.

Y/N took a deep breath, like she was trying to figure out what to say. “Why do you want me? You could have literally any girl you want, yet you’re still here, and I just don’t get it.”

It probably seemed horrible when Harry stayed silent for a moment, staring blankly at her. But in all reality, he was just trying to come up with an answer that would be suitable enough to make her understand exactly how he felt about her.

“I just- I can’t help you understand how I’m feeling, and what I’m going through until I understand. I-i really need to understand.”

“You know that I love you so much, darling.”

That’s when the dam finally broke, the tears starting again, and Y/N’s hands angrily slamming down on the bathroom floor. “But why? Help me understand!” She bellowed, making Harry’s eyes widen.

“Understand what, love?” His voice was calm, and Y/N wasn;t surprised by it. He had never raised his voice at her in the slightest, and she didn’t think he was going to start.

“Why you chose me! You have a million girls literally at your feet that are so much prettier, and skinnier, and nicer-” Harry cut her off.

He knew exactly what she was doing. Her anxiousness always caused rambling like this where she would spill all of her feelings, and it made his heart ache that she could ever feel like this.

“I don’t want anyone else.” He said simply, grabbing her hands. “I love you because you light up any room that you walk into. I love the way you play with your hair when you’re being impatient. I love the way you immediately run to me when I walk in the front door. I love when you attempt to cook, even though you are horrendous at it, but I know you try for me.”

“I love every single thing about you, to the point that I don’t think I could ever look at anyone else with even remotely the same amount of admiration as I have when I look at you. You make me who I am, and no one else could ever fill my heart to the extent that you do.”

Y/N looked up at him, watching the single tear roll down his cheek. The only thing she could think to do was lean her head forward from where she was sitting in front of him, laying her head on his chest.

“Everybody’s mad that I’m going to be walking at the show while you’re performing. They all wanted you to be performing with Kendall.”

Harry’s hands went under her slim arms, picking her up with ease before placing her in his lap. “I don’t want to perform for anyone unless you’re walking that runway.”

“I love you.”

He kissed the top of her head, “I love you too.”

Y/N laid in his lap for a few more minutes before he stood up, wrapping his arms easily around the back of her thighs, pulling her legs to wrap around his torso.

“Why don't we eat something, make you feel better?” At this time, Harry had completely forgotten about the image of his girlfriend crying in front of the scale.

She shook her head as he laid her down against the comforter in their bed, “m’ not hungry.”

He knew better than that, “you haven't eaten all day, what's going on?”

“I’m preparing for the show, Harry.”

That’s when he definitely knew something was off, she never called him by his first name. He also saw the look on her face when he mentioned food, she looked sad, not only sad, but disgusted.

“Did you see the same number on the scale that I did?” He didn’t want to bring it up at first, but now he felt it was necessary to lightly mention it. “If anything, you’re underweight, Y/N.”

“The number on the scale means absolutely nothing when I still look like- like this.” She motioned down towards her body, making Harry frown.

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist, his thumb and pointer finger connecting immediately, basically overlapping them. “That is not healthy, baby. You need to eat in order to fuel your body, or else you will be so weak that you won’t even be able to make it down the runway.”

“I can’t be fat for this show Harry, I just can’t. There is too much speculation about me already, and I can’t be known as the fat Victoria Secret model, on top of being the girl who’s dating Harry Styles.”

“But you’re not fat, and I know that it’s hard for you to see since you’ve had to struggle with these types of things in the modeling industry for so long, but you need to eat.” She was already shaking her head, making Harry’s eyes well with tears.

“Please, Y/N, for me. I’m not asking for you to sit down and have a full course meal, maybe just something small, healthy even. How about a little side salad, would that be okay? You don’t even have to eat the whole thing.”

Finally, he got his girlfriend to agree, slowly nodding her head.

He kneeled onto the bed, wrapping his arms firmly around her. “You’re so beautiful, baby. I love you so much, thank you.”

“I love you too. A lot.”

Harry grabbed Y/N’s cheeks in his hands, feeling her strong cheekbones against his palms. “I just want you to be healthy, you know that, right?”

She smiled lightly, leaning her head into his hand, “I’ll get there.”

“I know you will.”

i hope you like my very first imagine that i have posted on this account! should i do a part two of the fashion show? lmk!!

#harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x ofc #harry styles blog #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #solo harry #harry styles #harry styles one shot #one direction #1d fan fiction #1d au #1d imagines #fanfic #tw ed things

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fallingsunflower · 2 years

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I would say there is something deeper BTS and it’s about Olivia, the person she is and what she said or did at the very beginning. I saw a few people saying that maybe Harry just doesn’t want to do PR and that’s why everything is so sketchy but I really doubt it. For me, personally every Harry’s publicly said relationship (Taylor, Kendall, Camille) was at least in 90% a stunt. Celebrities do PR all the time and it’s not just about relationships. Harry himself is doing it since the very beginning and I just don’t think it’s all about him not wanting to do this. He’s not a little kid without any rights, he had to agree to do it. My personal guess is that they were planning to do this stunt just to promote the movie and it would include them doing a few pap walks once in a couple months, maybe some rumors around it to keep it all going but not more. Something like Jason’s and Keeley's "relationship" that I don’t really follow but see when pics of them drop on holivia accounts. What could go wrong? I’m sure Olivia seemed to be a decent person. She has two kids, is not a teenager with hormones but a woman near her 40s, actress, director, seemed okay. I think that it all kinda went down around the time they both were in London. My guess would be Olivia wanted to have some fun in her life and these little walks in there was her idea. I’m not really sure if every single one was them but I’m not the one to judge so I’ll just assume that it was them this whole time. Everyone could see how her behavior was becoming crazy, she went on multiple pap walks a week, was wearing clothes to connect herself to Harry and all these stuffs. I think that at this point Jeff don’t want her as much as Harry, she was supposed to be a little stunt to bring more GP attention to the movie and Harry but turned out to be the complete opposite as more and more don’t want to watch DWD and Harry’s own fans are leaving him. Even the very dedicated ones. At some point this stunt changed into something to bring more attention to her and the movie now seems forgotten, who knows maybe that was her plan since the beginning. She will get views because of Harry’s fan base anyway. So at the end, I think that it all went completely different than it was supposed to. Olivia is making her own narration and is carrying the stunt since the beginning. I believe it was supposed to maybe even look seriously but she decided to ruin it, well, it’s she who lost here so nobody will be really complaining.

I agree with a majority of this. I'm not sure how keen Harry was with starting the stunt but I agree he agreed to do it. My best assumption was that it was supposed to be something quick and easy, but it turned into this big thing because Olivia got greedy. She saw the fame she was getting and refused to let it go. Then it fell down this dark hole of Harry being miserable and Olivia stringing him along while milking her fame. I think she has some kind of hold on Harry to elongate the stunt. I suspect there's tension too between Harry and Jeff.

I also reneg my statement of saying Olivia seemed fine in the beginning (although I'm 50/50). Harry didn't seem as miserable the wedding weekend. But I have a HARD time believing they didn't know about Olivia's past with manipulation and Harvey Weinstein. At the very least Jeff knew. My guess? Jeff was aware of it and Harry oblivious and wasn't informed until he was already into the stunt, and I suspect Jeff wasn't even the one to tell him. Then all the OTHER shit came out about her and it just worsened everything.

Also side note and not entirely related to this ask, but the rumor is Olivia faked her age and is in her mid-forties. Based on what I've heard, I'm inclined to believe that

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hortensemitchell · 3 years

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Just Us

In the quiet of the night James finally has the time to reflect on his very first night in Hollywood. Under the pressure of his own thoughts, he'll find that he is never alone.

Rating: G

Pairing: N/A.

Words: 1868

The bedroom was dimly lit by the street lights peeking through the cracked and broken pieces of the blinds, illuminating the dingy carpet and dull paint of the walls. Virtually every space of the room was lined with miscellaneous boxes with messy scrawl, ‘summer clothes’, ‘electronics’, ‘hair products’. James made a mental note to dig into that box first when morning finally hit.

Whether the boys realized it or not, his regimen was more crucial now than ever. He thought back to the events earlier today and the impossibly beautiful up and coming stars that lounged around the Palm Woods. What made him special back home, his dazzling smile, piercing eyes and washboard abs, it was all part of the everyday here in California.

And if everything he worked so hard for was mundane here, what did that make him? He rolled over in his bed, tugging the comforter tighter around his shoulders almost as if the blanket would protect him from the frantic thoughts plaguing him.

Nothing about him was average, he refused to believe that. He can remember as far back as when he and the other boys were just starting as members of the junior hockey league, that he had also had his mind set on performing. Back then he had to beg and plead his mother for permission for singing and dance lessons. She argued that his schedule was already too full and his education would fall to the wayside, but after countless carefully constructed presentations on the benefits of these lessons and promises that Logan would tutor him, she relented.

He remembered how the boys used to tease him about the lessons when they were younger, jokes and jabs at their regular Friday night sleepovers at Carlos’. James knew they never meant any of it though because on the evening of his very first talent show, he peeped out of the curtain to see them sitting in the front row with the widest grins imaginable.

It was that night that he had finally decided this was his calling. Just seven years old, singing John Mayer and dazzling the crowd like he was born to. He lived off the high long after the song was finished and the curtains had fallen shut.

When he finally made his way back to everyone, the boys descended on him, each talking over the other in so much excitement about how cool he was and how he should have won over the unicycling juggler. His mother hadn’t been able to make the performance, a last minute work emergency she claimed. He didn’t let that get to him though, enjoying the good natured hair ruffling of Papi Garcia, the boys' unabating chattering, and Mama Knight’s promises of pizza. Even then he knew there would be other performances, and he would be so good that she couldn’t miss them.

And he did get better, way better. But was it enough? He could carry a tune, dance any routine that was thrown his way, but could he gain the type of fire that Gustavo was looking for? Failing wasn’t an option, if he turned back to Minnesota his mother would have him on the fast track to business school and this dream would be gone. Failure wasn’t an option, he couldn’t fail, he had to-.

His thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of cold air against his back as the comforter was pulled up and over someone slipping into the bed beside him. Carlos. James didn’t make any move to turn around and face him in the cramped twin bed and chose to stare at the light of the hallway creeping in from under the doorway. He had almost drifted to sleep from listening to the soft breathing from the other boy when Carlos broke the silence.

“I could hear you thinking from over there.” He paused for a moment before adding, “Did you wanna talk about it?”

The last thing he wanted to do was bring all of this worry onto someone else, so James did what he did best, deflected. Rolling over in the bed careful not to knock Carlos to the floor, James sat up and faced the other boy.

“So we might have striked out against the Jennifers, but I doubt they can resist my charms for long. I’ve already come up with a three step plan that will have them dying for a chance to date any member of our band.”

“James-”

“Though side note, we really need to come up with a name and soon. It seriously hurts your cred to say you’re in a band without a name and-”

“Look I-”

James just continued to press on hoping Carlos would get the hint to drop it, “Maybe if we learn some instruments, we could get in on that gig that that guitar dude seems to have going on at the pool, I mean chicks dig musicians.”

Carlos pulled himself into a sitting position beside James, raising his hand up to signal him to stop.

“It’s okay James, I’m scared too.”

And that was not exactly what James expected to hear.

“You don’t get scared. Just last week I watched you ride your mountain bike off of the top of Kendall’s house into their above ground pool. And let’s not forget the time you took one for the team and took Jenny Tinkler to homecoming.” He shuddered at the memory of her knocking over the snack table and somehow setting the DJ equipment on fire. “It’s hard to believe you’d get scared about anything.”

There’s a moment of silence between them before Carlos replies, “This is kinda different, ya know? Reckless behavior and wacky shenanigans? I can handle that no problem, but this is serious. And I’ve never been that great at serious.” He scratches his neck nervously, and looks off to the side. “I don’t want to ruin your dream dude.”

“You wouldn’t and you can’t.” He stretched his arm around the other boy’s shoulders, pulling him gently to his side. “It’s because of you guys that I even got the opportunity to be here, my dream wouldn’t work without everyone.”

He felt Carlos shake with laughter slightly before he replied, “Well technically we’re here because of Kendall, but I’ll take the sentiment cause it's a weirdly emotional night.”

James just rolled his eyes, though thankful that Carlos pulled them back from all the emotion talk. He wasn’t wrong, Kendall was the driving force of all this. He had the ‘fire’ as Gustavo called it. He would just describe it as stubbornness and a sheer lack of respect for authority, but somehow Kendall made those qualities seem endearing.

The door to the room creaked open bathing Carlos and James in the hallway light, the pair both shielding their eyes to adjust to the change in brightness. Just as quickly as it was opened, it shut again, quietly as to not wake up the other people in the apartment. Even after being partially blinded James knew that Kendall and Logan were approaching the bed, he’d know them anywhere.

“Any chance you have room for two more?” Kendall asked, already pulling himself onto the bed. The springs under it groaned as he and Logan shifted to get comfortable facing James and Carlos at the foot of the bed. For a moment James wondered just how much the weight limit was for this rickety bed frame.

“You guys couldn’t sleep either?” James questioned as he and Carlos pulled the comforter over the other two boys' legs.

“It isn’t actually that weird that we all can’t sleep. Scientists believe that this is just our brains natural instinct to protect itself in a new environment full of unforeseen threats. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.” He glanced around at the other boys on the bed taking note of the way James was holding one of his pillows tightly to his chest, and Carlos was picking at a loose thread on the comforter. “Something tells me though, that we are all awake because of more than first night jitters.”

There was something a little comforting to James, that all of them were nervous about the future. Sometimes he forgot that even though Kendall was their fearless leader, Carlos was their wrecking ball with a heart of gold, and Logan was their resident genius, they were all still four hockey heads from Minnesota and completely out of their comfort zone.

From across the bed James saw Kendall straighten his posture and he knew immediately that they were in for one of his famous pep talks.

“So what if everyone here is a better singer or dancer than we are. And who cares if every person we come across is more attractive and talented. And who-”

James quickly introjected, “Is this going to get positive anytime soon?”

“I was getting to that.” Kendall replied with a roll of his eyes, “My point is there are always going to be people who are better than we are. It’s a given, but we all have something that everyone here doesn’t.”

“Lightning Fever Barracuda hair gel.”, “Mama Knight’s signature corn dog recipe.” “A death wish.”

“No. What I was getting at is look around. Even out of our depth, we still have each other. The stakes might be higher for sure, but we are still together setting out our game plans dog piled into one bed just like when we were kids. And I don’t know about you, but I think that is a hell of an advantage over anyone in Hollywood.”

And that is why he’s the leader James concluded. Some heartfelt words and an earnest smile, and Kendall could convince them they could do anything. It seemed silly to him that he had been so worried earlier in the night. Looking around at the other boys in the dim moonlight, he realized that he wasn’t in this alone. And even if this didn’t work out, he knows there are three people who would never let him feel like a failure.

“Well since I doubt any of us will feel like sleeping anytime soon, does anyone have some band name ideas? I’m thinking something like James and the Diamonds.”

He saw the good natured eye rolls from across the bed and felt Carlos groan from his spot under James arm. It felt good to get back to normal and he eagerly slipped into their own routine, bickering about what really qualified as a solid band name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Please, please can I wake them up? One smack of the pot that’s all.”

In the morning light, Mama Knight stood in the doorway observing the scene before her. She had gone to Logan and Kendall’s room first, but when the room was empty she had a feeling this is where they would be.

All four boys were tucked under the comforter of the twin sized bed, practically asleep sitting up. She smiled softly to herself, noting that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

She shook her head, gently leading Katie from the room, “Let them sleep a little while longer, they have a long road ahead of them.”

#my writing #James Diamond #Carlos Garcia #Kendall Knight #Logan Mitchell

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ballplayersxo · 3 years

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Honestly seeing this it makes sense why all of Ben's exes are so obsessed with him. He's truly a terrorist. As a boyfriend he's loving, dominant and sweet and then in bed he's like this. No wonder Dylan almost killed herself after their relationship ended, Tinashe is still obsessed with him, Maya and Kendall gave him multiple chances and Renner was talking about him years later. Ben might be evil if this is how he treats women. Ruining women on purpose, making them feel like queen's in a relationship while making them submissive sexually and giving them the best sex they've ever had. Just to cheat on and leave them.

All that said though I need it bad.

i’d be mentally fucked up after this too cause then i’d start to doubt myself and all of my actions. now imagine for years later, all these women can never truly be happy in their future relationships and stuff because they’re always comparing their new partner with ben. sexually & relationship wise. ben clearly gets off to the fact that he’ll always be the standard for women. that’s a powerful but sick man.

#ben simmons

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mayegalinea · 3 years

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Enron, The Fyre Festival, and the Wall Street Journal Walk Into a Bar

In December of 2016, Kendall Jenner updated her Instagram with the a picture of a bright orange square. Then so did Bella Hadid, then Emily Ratajkowski. Then a video dropped - supermodels hanging out, having fun in the Bahamas on a private island that used to be owned by Pablo Escobar. Fyre Festival, it claimed, was the place to be. Fyre was going to be THE festival of the year and for the low, low price of $250,000 a ticket, you too can party with a Kardashian. Then in April 2017, the Wall Street Journal published an article – Fyre Festival was on the way to becoming a disaster. Weird. Maybe not the first place you think of when you hear “hard-hitting musical festival expose”, but it was all downhill from there. It started with heavy rain. The first batch of festival goers arrived on the island soaked to the bone, but that’s okay, they were on their way to luxury in their exclusive, one-of-a-kind transportation - a yellow school bus. They were treated to the especially prestigious, luxury boxed meal of cheese on bread. Their high-class accommodations were an open tent and soaking mattresses. The next day, the planes meant for the next batch of attendees were redirected to rescue the ones already on the island. The festival of the year was indefinitely postponed, and in 2018, the courts discovered that the festival founders had scammed investors to the tune of $26 million dollars and in 2018, Fyre Festival Billy McFarland was found guilty of wire fraud. Now I was and still am a self-proclaimed nerd. I wasn’t exactly updated on the social media landscape. I barely recognize those names I mentioned at the beginning of this blog. While all this was going on, I was in school, studying the debits and credits. In fact, the closest comparison I could probably think of for Fyre, would be an urban legend in our department that there used to be a class that specialized in “creative accounting”. They said you would learn how to play with the numbers, hide the losses in vague account titles, find out exactly how much a shell corporation can do without getting caught. That was the luxury music festival of my college days (citation needed). Of course, this legend turned out to be fiction created by bored accounting students waiting for the next 3-hour class on finding out the many ways to define the word payable. Eventually, we even found out where the legend started - a little, old energy company all the way in the United States by the name of Enron. You see, all the way back in the 1980s, Enron hired a man named Jeffrey Skilling, who persuaded his bosses to use an accounting method called “mark-to-market”, or MTM, accounting. Now, to an outsider, these three words can mean essentially anything (there’s a reason that there’s no TV show about accountants - yet), but to an investor, this practically meant gold. MTM basically meant you could indicate that the value of your property is equal to how much the market thinks it is, and the more optimistic you are, the higher your property value. So Enron decided it was going to be the most optimistic company there is. If to be successful meant getting more stock traders to think they were profitable, it didn’t matter if they were actually making money. They curated their public image, had exclusive contracts with an entire network of companies, and invested in technology that was considered futuristic even near the turn of the millennium. They were blue-chip stocks - everyone knew they were the cool kids, the good guys, the influencers. They could only ever go up. Then a reporter at the Wall Street Journal wrote an article. Investors should look out for this new trend in accounting practices. Mark-to-market accounting, they said. It was like hyping the public and earning the value of a luxury gourmet dish when all you had was a cheese sandwich. Now why does that sound familiar? That’s right - like the Fyre Festival, Enron stocks were all hype. Their share prices had never been higher, but behind the veil, they were nearing bankruptcy. The exclusive contracts were to shell companies. Their technology never fully materialized. And all the proof literally in shreds.

Looking back, though, the people involved must have seen it. Whoever was making the calls knew what they were doing was wrong, but in the heat of the moment, when they were faced with a suddenly extremely profitable portfolio and a fortune at their disposal, I doubt you’d be in the mood to wonder if what you’re doing is going to ruin the economy for decades to come. The stockholders are happy and they checked all the auditor’s boxes. What more do they owe society? Why did that matter? Jeffrey Skilling had cashed in his one million Enron shares and earned $67 million dollars.

Oh right, because laws. In October 2006, Jeffrey Skilling was convicted for 19 counts of securities and wire fraud.

You can’t just hobble the entire energy industry and obliterate millions in pension funds, and get away with it. The Enron disaster brought a whole new era to the business world. US companies had to become more transparent. Audit firms had to become more accountable. Already bureaucratic corporations become even stricter with their internal controls. Power plants, once known for stable investments, earned paranoid side-eyes from creditors. It’s been two decades since, but Enron’s imprint still lingers. Your decisions now, matter. Your ethics now, matters. Take a step back, look through the veil, and realize that society deserves more than just a cheese sandwich. Maybe even get a copy of the Wall Street Journal on the way.

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poppyknitt · 5 years

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Payback, part two- A Darkness and Desperation tale

Summary: JJ is still in and out of the hospital for the injuries he received back in the fall of the previous year, and since it’s now Boy Scouting season, Marvin plans to enact his revenge as soon as the bullies are separated from everyone else.

TWs: GORE, VIOLENCE, YANDERE, BLOOD, KNIFE

———

Marvin clutched his knife tightly in hand, his teeth gritted and eyes narrowed as he waited for the scout master of the troop those damned brats were in to leave the troop alone for a bit. He knew where the boy scout camp was, since Jack used to be one as well, so getting there wasn’t an issue.

The leaves swirled in the trees and bushes, making hypnotic patterns, as though trying to draw in anyone who watched so their commander, hidden away somewhere in the sky, could devour them alive without being seen.

He knew that, when they saw him, the boys would probably underestimate him greatly. They’d gotten into fights before, and he usually lost, likely because of how skinny he was. However, what they didn’t know, was that Marvin had been practicing something new, ever since he first found out about their treatment of his baby brother. Something... they didn’t believe in.

Finally, at long last, the final remaining adult had left, and he could get to work. His hand twitched absently for a moment, but he didn’t seem to notice. He rehearsed the spells he’d practiced and prepared heavily for this day one last time in his head, and stepped out into the open.

Barrier. Sound entrapment. Illusion. Cloaking. Paralysis.

Those were the spells he’d learned. Those were the spells he’d need. He had to go to the darkest sides of town just to get the necessary books for some, because most who sold and used books on magic spells avoided dark magic at all costs. Not him, though. Dark magic was the only magic that could help him here. Who cares if it corrupts him? He’d already been plotting to brutally slaughter eight of the nine kids there in cold blood, and leave one alive, but with horrible, horrible mental traumas for eleven months. Not to mention that he had another spell in the back of his mind that would ensure that no one ever believed the poor kid when he screamed and cried, begging them to convict Marvin Peter Reid, the true killer, no matter how hard or how much he begged. He doubted he could get any worse.

“Well, well, well! Look who it is, boys! It’s little baby Marvvy Petes!” Charley Sanders, the one who brought the bat, taunted, grinning evilly at him. He smiled back, and delighted mentally as Charley was visibly confused by his reaction.

“Hello, darlings...” His voice was light, but laced with a faint, toxic bitterness and hatred.

”What do you want, you moron?” Samuel Thompson, the kid who used steel-toed boots on Jamie, scowled, looking supremely pissed.

“I’m only here to play a little game with you boys! Nothing too serious~! After all, you really seem to like it when people get hurt, right?” His voice was chillingly sweet, as if he were trying to comfort a two-week old kitten that had been crying in despair for the past hour.

”What the hell are you talking about, creep?” Luke Wells, the one who used the textbook, looked both scared and annoyed. Marvin’s head jerked a small bit, and his grin widened.

”I’m talking about my little brother. Jameson. You boys sure took a lot out of him back in August, when you beat him so hard he nearly died!” He still sounded kind. Too kind. Several of the lessers in the group were starting to look scared already.

“D-Died-?!” Thomas Kendall, one of the ones who liked to watch and laugh as the others kicked and beat the shit out of 5 year olds, whimpered.

Charley interrupted him, “Shut up, Tommy. I wanna hear him out. Little kitty boy’s actually got my attention for once.”

“A wise choice, Charley-Darling~” His grin turned sour and twisted as he spoke. “I’m going to play a little game with you boys... A game I like to call... Hide and Go Reap.”

“... What...’s the goal..?” Sammy asked.

“For you? Hide, and hope you don’t get found. For me? Well... I get to murder whoever I find.”

The boys all went quiet for a moment, all nine of them looking somewhere between screaming and pissing their pants, until Charley finally spoke, clearly trying to sound brave. “Oh yeah? A-And what if we don’t play, or r-run off?!”

“Then I will hunt you down, and torture you so much, you die a slow, horrible, and painful death.”

Charley froze. He honestly looked like he was going to piss himself, and it was taking most of whatever resilience Marvin had to not start laughing maniacally at the stupid look on that idiot brat’s face.

“You have sixty seconds to hide. Choose your places wisely~!” He sung, and cast the Sound entrapment, barrier, illusion, and cloaking spells, much to the absolute terror of the bullies.

”Where’d he go?!” Luke yelped. Charley said something under his breath to Luke, and yanked him away, as all the boys scattered. Marvin grinned sadistically, standing in place for a full minute, as he’d promised.

When time was up, he yelled to them, “Time’s up, boys~! Be ready to die!” in a much too cheery manner, and skipped off in a random direction. He knew they couldn’t have gone anywhere or run off; he’d put the barrier in a circular shape, with about a 125-meter radius all around. They couldn’t see it, nor could they escape. If any of them tried, he would immediately know.

Sure enough, one of the boys was trying to get out. He could hear him crying and yelling in hopeless terror to be let out. He skipped to the source, and, smiling wickedly, revealed himself again.

”Georgieeee~ It’s time to play~” He sang, his voice unnaturally high pitched and bone-chillingly melodious, as his head tilted over to the side. George Edison, the kid in question, turned around and sobbed hysterically at him, begging him to spare him, saying that he didn’t do anything to his little brother. Marvin already knew that, though.

He used another kind of illusion spell, this time using one that would force the others to watch as he killed their friends one by one, and tackled the smaller boy, stabbing him a numerous number of times in the chest once it was done, watching as the blood sprayed and seeped out of the 7-year-old’s wounds with glee. Some of the fresh, warm blood spattered onto his clothes, and he didn’t even flinch back from it. He could hear another kid distantly shriek Georgie’s name out, which he assumed was Micheal Jay, given the pitch. He grinned sadistically, knowing at least one of the boys was going to break eventually.

He continued on his way, a twisted grin painted on his face as he searched the circle for his next victim, his newfound total enjoyment of murdering another person driving his mind further and further to entirely merciless relentlessness. After a few moments, he found Kaden Foster cowering in a bush like he actually thought it would protect him. Once he spotted him, though, Kaden bolted, screaming and crying for help. Unbeknownst to him, however, this only delighted Marvin, and he gave chase, laughing in total derangement as he gained on the terrified 9-year-old. He tackled once again, stabbing the kid twice as much as he’d done to the youngest of the group, and making each one hurt more than the previous. Kaden’s shrieks and screams of pain and terror brought absolute joy to him, the adrenaline of the two consecutive, chaotic murders rushing through him and making him more and more deranged as he laughed maniacally as though he had heard the funniest joke ever after having never heard even a single funny thing for his entire life. He continued stabbing until every movement and sign of life had faded from the kid’s body, not even feeling a single drop of remorse or disgust for what he’d done or for the bloody mess he’d caused. The faint smell of iron was already rising from the blood he’d spilled, but he didn’t care. The only reaction it got was a small twitch of the head, but once more, it went unnoticed by him.

He imagined some of the boys would be crying by now, as he watched the blood pooling around and on top of his now dead, and horribly mutilated victim. It seemed that, with each minute that passed, his grin got more and more twisted, more and more disturbed.

He got up, and left the scene, unsure who he’d find next. He didn’t care, though; he just wanted to kill all of them but whoever he found last. After all, what better way to ruin a person than to force them to watch you mercilessly slaughtering all 8 of their friends in brutal ways, and then leave them alive with the knowledge that this never would’ve happened had they decided to be a good person?

He heard Connor sobbing in the distance, and grinned more, picking up the pace, and following the sounds. Connor screamed for Micheal to run, and the older boy got up, not even hesitating for a moment to disappear into the foliage. Connor jumped out of the tree, shaking heavily as he gripped a slightly sharpened stick as though his life depended on it never leaving his hands. Marvin paused, and laughed at him.

”Aw, how adorable! You really think you can hurt me with a measly ol’ stick?” He taunted sweetly, a deranged look on his face. Connor was still trembling, terror written all over his face. The poor boy was having trouble breathing, too, probably because of his asthma. He’d be merciful on this one. Besides, it wasn’t like Connor was worth the effort; he probably was never destined for success anyways.

He disappeared with the cloaking spell, and climbed into the treetops, purposefully rustling the leaves around him to give the kid a bit of extreme paranoia in his last moments. He stopped making noise at random intervals and circling, now silently heading to a place he could drop down behind the kid and catch him off guard.

He undid the cloaking spell, and not a single second passed before his knife was skidding through the back of his prey, as Connor let out a scream of pain. The older boy collided with the ground, palpitating forward a foot or so, as a faint trail of blood followed him. He hoisted himself a few inches from the ground with one hand, coughing up a few drops of the thick, glistening, red juice of life that kept him going, and then turned his head and body to better look at his attacker, eyes glittering in terror. The sadistic joy from before returned to Marvin’s twisted grin, like a loyal dog returning to its owner. Oh, this was so fun! He should do it again some time...

Connor whimpered fearfully, probably thinking he knew exactly what was going to happen to him. Marvin did initially plan it, however... He had remembered something that one of the bookkeepers told him about magic- “If you find yourself able to use the magic, you may want to explore with finding out more about your abilities. In my experience, most true magicians have their own special abilities.” He grinned to himself at the thought, already knowing full well what his was.

He raised his empty hand, delighting as Connor recoiled a little in fear, confusion mixing in with all the other apprehensive emotions littering his expression. Purple, glowing strings spun and twirled around the tips of his fingers for a moment, before settling so that he could control them.

“I’ve decided to give you a purpose, sweetie... After all, no one else believes in you, right? So, who better to prove them wrong than little old me~?” He trilled, his grin softening to a cruelly sweet smile. He walked to the boy, and knelt down in front of him. The strings seemed to disappear, as he cupped his hand around Connor’s chin, and took control of part of his mind. “... From now on, you’re going to work as my puppet, and my puppet alone... Or else.”

Connor’s expression went blank, and, after he healed his new toy, he helped him up, still smiling. He gave him a knife, and winked at him, whispering the name of who he wanted him to kill into his ear.

Marvin lead the way, somewhat dragging Connor by the wrist, as they searched for MJ. His twisted grin returned, as he thought about all the ways Connor might kill his friend. Ooh, but what a twist that would be! He could barely begin to imagine how horrified that would leave the others... Especially because MJ was supposedly Connor’s best friend.

They found Micheal standing in front of the barrier, probably confused and definitely feeling hopeless. Marvin’s grin became even more twisted, as he beckoned his new pet forwards. Connor’s eyes were dark and empty, showing that even if he was even slightly autonomous, he likely wasn’t in control of his actions just yet.

“You weren’t paying attention, were you, MJ?” He asked, his eyes empty, and smile filled with twisted joy. Micheal turned around, his eyes wide as they flicked between Connor and Marvin for a second, only resting on Connor as he calmed himself enough to process what was happening.

”...C-...Connor? Connie, bro, c-can you hear me..?”

“Sorry, Mikey~. He doesn’t answer to you anymore, sweets~” The strings around Connor’s limbs and neck revealed themselves briefly as he spoke. Panic set in all over MJ’s face, as he stumbled over his words.

“Y-You- Wha-What-? H-How did-?! W-Wh-What di-did you d-do to him, y-y-you freak?!”

Marvin paused, his smile fading for a second at the insult, and then returning as an even more twisted grin, “How rude! Didn’t your mama ever teach you any manners, dearie~?”

“D-Don’t-! S-Stop calling me by those st-stupid pet names!” Micheal was hyperventilating anxiously, which amused the aspiring magician to no measurable extent.

”Hm.” His grin fell a small bit, and he gestured for Connor to start, “As you wish, Micheal~”

“W-Wh’did you-?! W-W-What was that-?!” Micheal started, but Connor attacked him mid-sentence, much to his despair and horror. Marvin grinned sadistically as he watched Connor throw attack after attack at his ‘best friend’, who was trying his hardest to dodge as many attacks as he could.

I suppose I... Ought to help... He thought, still grinning. He waited a few moments, until MJ’s back was to him, and then grabbed him from behind, yanking him down to his level and driving his knife into the bully’s shoulder and tearing it back out, delighting in the screams of pain that resulted.

MJ stumbled away from them, clutching his limp, nearly severed shoulder in his hand. His eyes were glimmering with tears of either pain or fear, as he continued to try and back away from the approaching duo out for his blood. Connor was the first to attack once again, running at MJ and attempting to cut a diagonal slash wound into his chest, but barely skimming the other’s arm as he jumped back. Marvin followed up from the other side, stabbing into his gut with a big grin on his face as he made eye contact, relishing in the pure terror that covered the older kid’s face.

MJ fell to the ground, still hyperventilating, though, his breathing was more desperate and broken now that he was losing too much blood. Marvin’s face was almost entirely blank, aside from the huge, psychotic grin that had been plastered on it since he joined in, as he and his puppet loomed above the slowly dying kid. He raised his free hand a little, and Connor stepped on his lifelong best friend’s chest, pinning him down, slit his throat, and let him go. MJ started choking on his own blood, eyes wide and face draining of color as the blood rushed out of his veins and arteries, spilling into his throat, windpipe, and onto his neck and chest. He started coughing and gasping for breath, tears spilling down his face and mixing with the blood as they spilled onto his throat, only quickening the suffocation. Marvin made sure Connor didn’t have to hear his friend suffocating, knowing he would only be traumatized by the memory of the sound once his mind regained a little awareness of what happened.

Once MJ was dead, Marvin stepped lazily over his limp, broken, blood-bathed corpse, and dragged Connor along as they went to look for one of the others. Connor stumbled over the other kid’s body, but Marvin didn’t care to stop. He had things to do, and brats to kill.

Thomas Kendall and Jordan Smith were quick kills, and thankfully close enough to each other that Marvin and Connor could split up the task of killing them. Marvin wound up playing a fun game of chase with Tommy, obviously winning in the end by stabbing into the skull of his victim after taking his sweet-ass time to torture him. The kid’s body was nearly unrecognizable by the time he decided he was done with him, though, he left the face mostly alone, so his family could properly identify their son when they found his cold, dead body discarded uselessly on the forest floor. Marvin let Connor stay wherever for the last three kills, wanting to kill the ones who hurt his brother the most that day with his own hands.

Sammy was an easy find, having wound up standing alone and confused in a clearing, his back turned to Marvin and vulnerable to any attacks. He ran at the taller kid from behind, his target only managing to turn around and look before he gutted him viciously. He landed on top of Sammy, once again finding himself mutilating his body, but this time, he used his magic to keep Sammy alive until the very end, so he would feel any and every stab, regardless of how much blood he lost. Once he was done, and a fresh, deep crimson color stained his clothes almost unrecognizably, he stood up, and left, searching for his final two victims.

He found them together, when he heard Charley scream “no” from somewhere beyond a cluster of bushes and trees, and looked past them to see the two huddled against each other. His grin grew, as he walked through the plant life, and stood before them, knife still held in his hand. Charley began sobbing hysterically, clearly having a panic attack, and Marvin had another idea.

PTSD. He knew he could leave Charley alive, and have him eternally stuck living with crippling fears of human contact and other things he would associate with this day. That would be much, much worse on him than anything else he could possibly do to the boy. He made a small, unnoticeable gesture with his hand, and Connor walked through some other bushes. He looked at his puppet, and ever so slightly tilted his head to tell him to hold Charley back while he murdered Luke.

Connor did as commanded, and Marvin walked towards Luke, as the boy scrambled back, hit a tree, and began to cry as well. Marvin kicked him in the gut, and then pulled him up by his shirt, briefly narrowing his eyes at the kid, and then throwing him into a tree that was a few meters away. Charley screamed hysterically for him to stop as he violently stabbed, beat, and occasionally slammed his friend into things, but it was no use. Within a few minutes, the entire back of Luke’s head and almost his whole face were drenched in his blood, as well as the tree and his clothes. Marvin‘s grin became a bit less psychotic and a bit more normal, as he was proud of himself for the good job he’d done on punishing all of the boys who tormented his brother.

He turned to Charley, and walked to him, as Connor released the older kid. He gave the boy a sweet, sickeningly sympathetic look, the insanity still lacing the edges of his expression. Charley started begging him not to kill him, which only made his smile grow more twisted. “Aw, don’t worry, Charley-Darling~! I’m not going to kill you! After all, you’ve won! You’re the last one I found! So, as your reward, you get to live!” He paused, “However... You will be the only one who knows that I did this. I will make sure that, should you ever try to tell even a single soul that it was me, they will never, ever believe you, no matter how solid or fool-proof your evidence is. So, don’t even try it, because it’s not gonna work.”

Charley nodded desperately, and Marvin smiled triumphantly. “Come on, Connor, sweetheart, let’s go clean ourselves up and blow this joint! I’m excited to bring you home! But remember, you gotta act spooked, okay? That Charley kid’ll probably be off to tattle as soon as the barrier goes down, so if you’re acting unfazed by it, they might think you did it!”

...

....

.....

Marvin watched the news, subtly delighting in the fact that for the past few days, all anyone could talk about was the murders of those seven boys, and the mental states of the two survivors. He’d let Connor resume autonomy, but made sure he knew that if Marvin detected him even thinking about telling someone, he would snatch it away quicker than you could say “Psychopath”. Charley had gone almost catatonic, and had to be pulled out of boy scouts for extensive therapies that just weren’t working anymore. Most likely, he would never be back in the public school system again, because of his severe traumas involving that fateful day preventing him from setting foot outside his home without having a severe panic attack within the next five minutes.

Charley had been constantly begging everyone to believe him as he sobbed and cried that Marvin was the killer, but as he’d promised, no one believed him, even with all the evidence presented against him in comparison to the slim amount of evidence for him. So far, Jamie hadn’t seen the news, so thankfully, he wouldn’t have to lie to him just yet.

He heard a knock at the door, and smiled to himself, as he knew who it was. He got up, playfully skipping to the door, and opening it.

“Aw, hiya, Connor~! I knew you’d come today!” He sung happily, a subtle, twisted glint sneaking its way into his eyes as he spoke to his new toy.

——————————————————

Congratulations, now everyone has as much about Marv to fear as I do. Please, join my suffering, because I’m terrified of my son, just like you should be.

not tagging anyone because this shit is highkey fucked up so i don’t wanna spoop my normal taglist peeps

#WritersofJack #jse writing community #marvin the magnificent #marvin the magician #Darkness and Desperation #DaD!Marvin #Puppet Connor #tw: gore #tw: yandere #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: knife #fanfic 2

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

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Episode 11 | “You let me like a parasite leach into this game and I will not be going anywhere”- Ali

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Alright, so now it's my time to either put up or shut up. This is the round I really need to make this move in order to put myself in a much better spot moving forward. Either Ali or Autumn need to go this round, and I need to figure out how in the hell I can make this work. I know me, Devon, and the three Beauties are in for this plan, but I'm really concerned about Jakey this round. For some reason he's not being fully forthcoming about his thoughts about this vote, and with someone telling me that him and Ali might be close, I'm really concerned that he may go and ruin this plan. I don't want to think he'd do that - he should know I have had his back since Day 1 and I still think he has mine - but like... this ain't a fun spot to be in. Part of me wants to stack on Autumn and pretend like it's supposed to be a split vote to get Ali to use his idol if Jakey does tell him, but it would be worthless, but I don't even know if that would work. So I think I really need to figure out what Jakey is ok with here and then figure out how I can guarantee the heat doesn't come on me if this plan is found out.

I- just... you think you know people. Me and Adam rn https://media.tenor.com/images/ad6bd858d5371eb4ad2755d4a11bc748/tenor.gif but also me and Adam rn https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b8/d0/26/b8d026447effad19676de7e8ccc05c6f.gif Not Adam calling me at midnight to tell me that the whole ass tribe is planning to blindside Ali. I can't even get into the tea fully cause I'm in my bag now that I know 6 people think so little of me and will to lie to my face all day tomorrow but like it's fine. They will be dealt with, Adam is a king, we will get our Emmy's tomorrow for bamboozling everyone back, and I will 100% get Ali to play the idol he (probably?) has when I lay all the cards at 7 pm EST tomorrow lmao. And I'm really gonna get Jakey and Deovn's double agent asses- THAT I do know! Just you wait cause like I said before: name an ally I won't kill

to THINK, to literally THINK i wanted adam out at a point in this game. adam is literally the only person i trust in this game, i will be the kingmaker for him to get the win he deserves. what a genuinely lovely man, im so glad we are both still here. it sounds like there is a blindside being cooked up for little old me this round and for what...i'm borderline inactive, i cant connect with anyone in this game like... voting me for what... for literally what. also if jake is voting for me i will literally scream into the void this is so stupid for him. i am literally so far up his ass in this game all season and yet he wants to send me packing and for what. adam literally is my god send, as is devon's inability to keep literally anything a secret? like i trusted devon... so much?! and yet he literally threw me so far under the bus my squished up corpse is a 2D shape. i'm so... shook?! and also i still cant decide if i think jake is in on this, but if he is... im screaming? what a clown decision. but literally i cant believe this. im so excited to idol out one of the generic men in this game out tomorrow, they can all literally suck it up i cant wait. i want to be the kingslayer, i want to be the person who votes out amir for the first time in tumblr survivor. screw keeping big threats around, fuck that noise. i'm going to literally go through metamorphosis and become alyssa this season. i will be the mother hen who takes the bullet for my allies moving forwards, adam/autumn will make it further and further (plus jake if he is proven innocent and not a snake) anyway cast assessment: augusto - he can have such empty conversations for hours?! like this tribe confuses talking lots with social game. but like with him its a real i don't love your excess energy, go girl give us too much... would love to see him do literal anything beyond just having nothingy conversations... that does not a winner make amir - WOW his galaxy brain is so big. honestly i have to be impressed with amir, the fact he has this tribe misted that he is not the mastermind he is... a testament to his skill. i want to idol him out tomorrow adam - literally my jesus. i owe him my life in this game and i will stay true to that. i cant believe i didnt trust him at first wow... i hope adam gets the win this season autumn - my other goddess.. the literal love of my life, i want her and adam in the f3 this season if i cant make it. i want an autumn hill two time winner yes please and thank you devon - okay devon remains SUCH a sweet guy but oh my god does he play like a snake HELLO. he literally pumped me full of hot air for literally nothing wow woww wowww. he has lied to me for rounds and rounds for literally nothing... am ready to get that snake caught in a trap jake - i think the man who i was willing to give up my entire game for has been lying to me, i feel the exact same way i felt when my boyfriend cheated on me like this feels so personal... and i dont even see the endgame for jake with this hello!? my heart is broken, i literally watched sharifa play in sequester for HOURS with that man and for what?! for WHAT kendall - a literal sweetheart, never dissed. hope she goes far the only non-fraudulent one of the bunch tj -askjdlfsa he is so... stale jKLJKASDFAS like as a player go girl give us nothing. i wish he was being deadass when he said we were gonna squash our beef but i guess not huh? clownery from me i see anyway its almost 8am i need bed. im fueled by rage and im ending the generic men. adam and autumn are the loves of my life, brain, brawn and beauty are linking UP.

GORL yall better hold onto your britches this is gonna be a LONG one, so immunity happens, a music challenge, which i knew was right up my alley, i was confident going into it and tbh i had no idea what was gonna happen this round, so i decided to take a risk and use my challenge advantage, WHICH PAID OFF BECAUSE BITCH I AM T H E SONGSTRESS, DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DA UP OUT MY FACE BECAUSE YALL CANT GET ME THIS ROUND. who would've thought little old me would end up winning not one, but TWO individual immunities in a single season! im always dragging myself but for once im so PROUD of myself because with my last one there really wasnt anything to brag about, it was handed to me, which kinda did feel nice in a sense considering i know no one trusts me yet they wanted to still keep me around, but like this one was M Y own WIN like on my own merit. I'm an aries, dont ever count me out because i will deliver all the gags and all the goops so after my win, i know im 100% safe, so i start to think... hmm well idk who i want to go so i guess ill see and wait if anyone says anything to me, and then DEVON calls me and we're having a convo when all the sudden he gets real coy.... and starts going "OMG ADAM UGHHH I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS OR IF I CAN OR CANT" meanwhile, obviously i wanna know the tea so im like well bitch! spill! and he tells ME that apparently, him, jakey, tj, amir, and augusto have all allegedly been in talks and want to BLINDSIDE ALI THIS ROUND because they think he has the idol...and purposely leave me and autumn out? ill get to the THOUGHTS i have on that soon, because oh, i have SEVERAL thoughts, but as he tells me this he's basically just saying OMG PLEASE IM TAKING A HUGE RISK TELLING YOU THIS DONT TELL ANYONE ELSE, which, i DO trust devon slightly, but here's where the problems began and im gonna break it down for yall, 1) ONCE AGAIN, THE BIGGEST PHONYS IN THE GAME FAKE 1 AND FAKE 2 AMIR AND AUGUSTO LMAO LIKE .... DID WE NOT JUST END THE BEEF WE HAD WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE YALL WANTED TO GO BEHIND MY BACK AND NOT INCLUDE ME IN THE PLANS, ONLY FOR YOU TO DO THE SAME THING YET AGAIN??????? 2) Devon also TOLD me straight up and he was kinda laughing when he said it "im gonna be straight up no one trusts you in this game but i do and thats why im telling you", because AMIR/AUGUSTO ARE TELLING EVERYONE I HAVE THE IDOL FROM BEAUTY. WHY WILL NO ONE BELIEVE ME AND WHY ARE THEY BELIEVING THEM I DONT HAVE IT. LIKE I CAN OWN MY GAME AND MY MISTAKES AND THE ONLY THING IVE DONE TO DESERVE DOUBT WAS MY STUPID LIE ABOUT THE AUCTION BUT E V E R Y O N E LIED LIKE WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BAD GUY? YALL WANT ME TO BE THE BAD GUY, CHUN LI? BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, I CAN BE. ive been playing this game with ONE mindset only. I'll be semi honest with everyone, but lie to me and then you can no longer believe a word i say.... and 3) devon also told me, while he trusts me and wants to go far with me, everyone else doesnt want to take me out this round, next round, or even 7, theyre planning to go for me around like final 6......ok so what im hearing is people are ALREADY trying to plan when to take me out and while he may trust me, i basically would have no way to play the game other than with him??? which why would i just sit there and accept that fate...OH AND ALSO 4) him and everyone else really just expects me to sit back and knowingly vote against kendall, who WOULDNT be going home so they can blindside ali...... so id literally lose a friend in this and gain an enemy? do i have idiot plastered on my forehead??? well, i guess they were right not to tell me about the plan because BITCH I RAN RIGHT TO ALI. Like honestly, screw all those people, i feel like ive done NOTHING so horrible to make people dislike or distrust me so severely so i feel like i dont owe anyone a damn thing. why would i just sit complacently waiting to get picked off at 5/6 and put all my eggs in one basket when i single handedly can change the whole game right now, and thats exactly what i plan on doing. At this point im TIRED of people overlooking me and thinking they can play this game around me and get away with it, but whatever, YALL WANTED GOOD TV, YALL WANTED A SHOW WELL BUCKLE UP BECAUSE YALL MAY BE GOOD AT THIS GAME AND GOOD AT BEING FAKE, BUT YALL DONT KNOW WHAT YOU GOT YOURSELVES INTO WITH ME, IN THE WISE WORDS OF TAMMIE BROWN, YOU WANTED CRAZY, WELL YOU GOT IT NOW ali was SHOOK when i spilled the beans to him, and i told him like look this is me giving you my trust because he's the only person who's shown me respect besides autumn and even if he wasnt being genuine, at least he's being SMART AND GUESS WHAT IT'S GONNA SAVE HIS GAME BECAUSE BITCH HE TOLD ME HOW HE HAS THE IDOL- NOT JUST ONE, BUTTWO OF THEM FJADHSKJFH GORL FIRST OF ALL im so happy i can STOP PLAYING 2048 THAT DAMN GAME WAS GOING TO BE MY UNDOING, SECOND OF ALL I LITERALLY CACKLED ON CALL WHEN HE TOLD ME, I KNEW I COULD TRUST MY GUT ABOUT HIM, OH AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER HE ALSO HAS THE IDOL NULLIFIER EFSDKAJH WHICH MEANS....if we play our cards right......we can take out whoever we want, maybe everyone was right to be scared of us. I'd be scared, i think they should all be scared, yall wanted to say fuck my drag time and time again, well watch me bring it to the runway now. we also agreed we need to let autumn in on this, which could be either the BEST or WORST move....i really THINK i can trust autumn, her and ali are hands down my #1/2 in the game, and devon right behind, although if we pull this off, i told them both i dont want to get devon since he let me know this, i think even if i blindside him and dont let him know, i can at least justify myself enough to him and let him know him going home was still never an option, but i called autumn right after ali and told her all the same tea and at first she was kinda hesitant about it all, but i knew her and jakey had a good relationship so the hardest part for me i think was making her really believe he's against her which i think i did a good job of making her believe because she SPILLED the tea to me about how her/ali/jakey had an alliance, and i absolutely did just kick him out and take his place oop, which i dont trust jake at all because something about him/amir/augusto is so shady, you mean to tell me they voted you out and he hasnt tried to go for them or vice versa this whole time.... my gut is telling me they're in kahoots, and would 100% be a solid 3 against me down the line... my whole game rn hinges on autumn believing me because its the TRUTH i just told her what i was told but clearly i painted it a little more my way oops, so as of now the plan is autumn and me will both keep playing dumb tomorrow, then around 7 pm we're gonna "tell ali" the plan (which i already told him) but autumn doesnt know he has the idol yet, so ali will confirm it to her, and we'll make our move. I'm going to push for it to be amir, i want him OUT OF THIS GAME. im SICK of him and augusto prancing around like the wicked step sisters and treating me like cinderella. but who knows, maybe devon telling me was strategy on his part so i tell ali and we flush the idol and they vote autumn, but i have to hope that all those people are good enough with autumn that they dont want to do that just yet... but i mean, ali does have 2 so we already said if we feel like we need to use both, one for him and one for autumn, it's an option. Also if any of them have the idol ... this could become a mess if someone plays one right after ali, this could also just fall apart if they split the votes 3/3 sedkfha the odds of me actually getting my way....are feeling slim, but im gonna be hopeful because it's all i got, if this works, it could be my winning move, but if it fails, and there's a high chance it fails.... im gone next round... but with ali staying i dont think thatll happen, he's a shield for me and someone i can trust, im taking a page from the michele winners at war book, and he's my jeremy. I trust him, and i need him in this game for at least a few more rounds or im just gonna be dragged along and disposed of at some point. And if i leave then whatever at least i can say i caused chaos, which im always down for.

So I think Ali is getting sketched out by this vote, so now I am working with Jakey and Devon to figure out a plan to make Ali feel safe and not play an idol. But I'm like... oh dear... this could really blow up in our faces if this doesn't work. And I'm over here trying to communicate now to everyone what is going on so that they don't panic and I'm like... wasn't I just on the bottom? Now I feel like I have some kind of power again? I like this feeling, but also, it be scary as fuck.

If last round was the calm before the storm, this round is a full on hurricane of a vote. I have spent the past round or so trying to rally the troops against Ali and I think it can finally happen? He has two idols, a vote reveal, a idol blocker, and a killer social game so these people need to smell the roses and get him out. I really hope I don’t leave but if this is my undoing, at least I tried to make a move!

tribal is in a few hours and i have a WHOLE ass headache because i dont know what's gonna happen....so last night devon LITERALLY told me everyone but me/autumn were gonna be in the vote against ali... but then today he's telling me jake doesnt know he thinks......am i crazy? did i mishear?? or is he trying to gaslight me.....because i KNOW what i heard and i literally led this whole jake slander campaign to autumn and ali, autumn doesnt think we can trust jakey because i can see devon feeling nervous after telling me that and then they try to tell jake to get in good with us so he knows our plan, but it also doesnt really make sense if jakey works with them unless my conspiracy about him/amir being in kahoots makes sense....so i dont fucking know what's happening, if it were up to me this would stay between me/autumn/ali and we'll ask for forgiveness rather than permission on the next day... autumn/ali are on call rn and theyre supposed to let me know after because autumn is supposed to "spill" the tea to ali (which i already spilled last night) and then we'll go from there because since he does have the idol we just need to place our votes very carefully in conclusion; there's gonna be some angry gays one way or another after tribal (and a few confused heteros)

I don’t think anyone respects me... which is annoying because I am currently playing a social game. But even more annoying because nobody listens to me!!!!!! Like literally all we have to do is switch to Autumn!!!! Switch to Autumn and everything will be fine and no one is willing to do that. Ugghhhhhhh god damnit I’m going to lose my mind.

I WILL CONFESS LATER BUT WE ARE SENDING DEVON OUT 4-3 AND IM GONNA IDOL MYSELF BECAUSE IM SCARED... IM READY TO BE IN FINAL EIGHT AND IM READY TO FIGHT.

youtube

Fucking THIS AND ALL THESE FKING PEOPLE IM SO DONE, I literally have no course of action, I’ve went through every single plan in my mind and every single one reaches a dead end, I don’t know the details of how the idol block and vote reveal work I can’t switch the vote to jakey, because Ali will vote reveal and then idol jakey and then I’m left with 4 people who want me dead and jakey blowing up my game I can’t split on autumn and Ali because we don’t have the votes without jakey I can’t fucking do anything at all I have to be passive, but I have to be alert Ali isn’t gonna go, jakey isn’t gonna go, autumn won’t, and adam wont It’s going to be me or my allies So I just have to try and make it not me at this point

I think devon is about to leave and like, that is okay, just be who you are

#BackWithVengeance

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whataboutthepress-blog · 7 years

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lit literature ~

A quote that I’ve taken interest in states that books are one of the best companions, better than people maybe.

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”

-Charles William Eliot (former Harvard president)

Basically you can find the best book ever and it literally becomes apart of you! It is in fact a beautiful union. Imagine finding your soul in print on paper shredded from trees bond together tighter than your lips go when you read about your favorite character doing a bad deed. My list ain’t that deep; that’s not what this is.

But what I am here for is the Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen that i did promise.

What is Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen ?

Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen is a few books i read this summer of 2017 in my spare time. In between work and building other things in my life, i was able to knock out about 5 books, including a book of 4 short stories. This is nothing flashy. Probably books you've read already. But still...enjoy! There may be one that catches your eye.

Circa June of this year, i was without a laptop and needed access to the internet. So like a regular citizen of a big city, i went to my local library and signed up for a library card. It started to be for computer purposes only, but im an avid reader (fan of recommended and passed on books) so it wasn’t very long before i made my way from the unreliable computer to the welcoming bookshelf. My love for literature runs deep! With that being said, I’m so happy to share my very first reading list, formally titled ‘Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen’ .

I began my summer reading “Faithful” by Alice Hoffman. Faithful was one of three books I checked out at my first visit (the first visit to the library that was strictly for finding book companions). During that book-blind-date experience, i also checked out a mystery fiction book that I can’t recall and some other less interesting book i misjudged due to my lack of judging books by their cover.

Faithful not only made my summer list, but also made my ‘all time fave’ list. (Yall will never see that list because i doubt I’d ever write it.) This book spoke to me so clearly. I picked it up that day at Kendall Neighborhood library less of any expectations. It turned out to be one of the most relative pieces of literature in my life thus far. Faithful is about a young girl getting into a bad accident with her best friend in their final year of high school. The accident ends up leaving the young lady’s friend in a coma for a very long time. There are many other vital details, but i was able to relate mostly to the depression the main character endured. No, i havent never been in a life changing wreck, but i deal with issues daily that add to my depression. This book gave me hope. It lit a fire in my soul and i now feel i have an everlasting flame. Alice Hoffman spoke to me, personally, through this novel. I would recommend Faithful to anyone that is somebody. To anyone who ever wondered how deep depression goes. To anyone who’s ever felt alone in a dark world and to anyone who’s ever needed lifting. READ DIS.

Book number two on SRL2KS is an absolute classic, and you may have already read it! The timeless “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by the late and great Ms Maya Angelou. This was a first time read for me and actually a venture from my newfound library relationship. A good friend of mine received this Non Fiction paperback book from his niece, and I began reading it before he could even pick it up. Once i began to read and learned Angelou spent many years of her childhood being raised in Stamps, Arkansas, there was no quittin’ this book.

I purposely chose this version of the cover because this is the exact one that i had in my possession. This is the story of young Angelou’s childhood alongside her brother. Raised by their grandmother (on the daddy side, you know how that go) and their uncle, Maya and her brother go through much in this detailed story of stories. Focusing on the trials and tribulations of young Maya, i would recommend this book for my young ladies. This is a must read for women all over the world honestly. Reading the hurtful and happy can grant one a new view on life and a few decent quotes to live by too.

Next on the great SRL2KS, i explored more African American authors! I found, what i would consider, a short story by a young adult/youth literature writer named Ms Jacqueline Woodson. The novel titled “Another Brooklyn” is a specially written story about a young, black Muslim girls childhood. This is not a religious story nor is it a kids book. It speaks on a young girl growing up around other girls and making a close knit bond. The girls grow together and the story continues to follow the young black girl and her little brother after they begin to reside with their father in Brooklyn, New York.

Woodson speaks and describes the bond of the girls so well to me, in a way i dream of expressing my thoughts. I took note of how she talked about them loving and lifting each other just to remember to share this novel with my daughter one day. I wont ruin the end, but everything wasn’t peaches and cream. With that, I still recommend this novel to young women everywhere (not only women of color). It’s short, so it won’t take up much of your time, but it’s still nice to knock out a book by an AA author at any given time for me.

Completely and fully inspired by “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sing”, my next book is another Maya Angelou non fiction. “Mom and Me and Mom” is Maya expanding on her relationship with her mother, an exceptional woman mentioned in my first read by Maya many times. I too had a close relationship with my mother, so it was easy for me to pick this book up with an open heart. "Mom and Me and Mom” expands on a series of short, less detailed stories mentioned in IKWCBS. I was able to get to know Maya’s mother more and get an in depth point of view of their relationship. I can never think about this book and not think of my own mom lol.

This isn’t a must read IMO if you’ve read IKWCBS, but i still recommend this one for the lovers, like myself. If you love that warmer than fresh baked cookies feel or you absolutely admire your mom (again, meee), you’d enjoy a heartwarming story about an adventurous young woman and her ambitious mother. I loved this book!

In the summer of Seumteen, i aspired to learn. I took an interest into sign language which led to me looking into sign lit (sign language books lol) ! In the mist of it all, i did of course continue my reading *Stevie J nod*

My last and final book on my marvelous Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen is by one of my all time favorite authors, Stephen King. My favorite book in the whole world was written by King under a different name. (I completely refuse to elaborate on my favorite book for future blog reasons) “Full Dark, No Stars” is just another opportunity for me to fall in love with King’s writing more. After reading this book of four short stories, I vowed to take advantage of all the Stephen King books at Ring Library, the local joint. Ring is a small facility, so it will take me no time to read the 8-10 Stephen King books they shelter. Also, things change when it comes to what the library has on shelf.

In “Full Dark, No Stars”, King starts with a story about a man and his son in the 1920s having to make a tough decision that ends up creating a string of events you’d least expect. This story was one of my favorite of the four because it was rated Stephen King, or gruesome and skin crawling, and also humors under all the unfortunate events. The second story is a tale of a woman who is attacked while she is stranded roadside after not following her gut. In the drawn out story, the young lady seeks revenge, but the inside sleeve of this book will never prepare you for how deep the revenge goes. The third is pretty short and the biggest reach! A tale of a man who has been dealt a somewhat sad deal of cards. The father and husband is given the opportunity of a life time: to relieve his life of misery. Of course there is a condition or to this...other than the obvious cash money, the character’s genie also requests that this man allows his burdens to be placed on the one person he hates the most. The story pretty much left me speechless, in a questionable way. Lastly was my favorite of the four. An interesting story of a woman discovering the past and somewhat current life of her husband. The story has a twist that i didnt exect or regret. It really makes you wonder if you really know people too! I confidently recommend this book to readers with an imagination thats willing to get twisted. Stephen King never fails at making me grin after i turn the last page of his novels. This read was so good, i’m inspired to do a King binge and best believe a blog will follow :)

In review, take a peek at

Faithful by Alice Hoffman I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson Mom and Me and Mom by Maya Angelou Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

Enjoy, my fellow readers. And look out.

#readinglist #summerreading #summerreadinglist #summerreading2kayseumteen #summerreading2k17 #summerreading2017 #reading #stephenking #mayaangelou #alicehoffman #jacquelinewoodson #stephen king #maya angelou #alice hoffman #jacqueline woodson #iknowwhythecagedbirdsings #i know why the caged bird sings

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motherlifesucher-archives · 7 years

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Canadian Boys l Shawn Mendes Imagine.

prompt: Shawn & (y/n) managed to go from ‘dream couple’ to a messy relationship in front of the cameras, and Shawn doesn’t seem to accept that his ex has decided to move on with the one and only, Justin Bieber.

Shawn could feel his cheeks heating up as Ellen started a game of Who’d You Rather.

“Rihanna or Sophia Bush?” Ellen asked and pictures of both women appeared on the screen behind him.

“Sophia Bush, no doubt.” he said confidently.

“Hmm, looks like you had your mind already done,” she teased him. “Okay, Sophia Bush or Kendall Jenner?”

“Sophia Bush.” he answered with a hint of laughter on his voice.

“Wow, you’re very sure of yourself.” Ellen said and he shrugged. “Sophia Bush or Margot Robbie?”

“Oh, no! You can’t do that!” he said making the audience laugh. “Ugh, Margot Robbie.” he answered and the audience ooh-ed.

“Margot Robbie or Camila Cabello?” Ellen asked and Shawn shook his head.

“Camila is a friend, so…” he started but the host interrupted him.

“She sure is,” Ellen said, earning laughs from the audience. “So, Camila or…”

“You didn’t let me finish!” Shawn complained laughing.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s my show,” Ellen joked. “Camila Cabello or (y/n) (y/l/n)?”

Shawn felt his cheeks heating up profusely. “They both are very good friends…”

“Oh, is there something you aren’t telling me, Shawn?” Ellen asked.

“No! Of course no.”

“Then answer the question.” Ellen said smiling and looking to the screen where there was Camila and you.

Shawn bit the inside of his cheek. “(y/n), she’s amazing.” he answered and everyone seemed happy with his answer.

“Then I guess we have a winner!” Ellen announced as another picture of you filled the large screen. “Shawn Mendes everybody!”

You could hear the screams of your boyfriend’s fans on the hotel room.

You admired his profile as he carefully typed a response to his manager or someone. Of course the fans didn’t have any idea that you were on bed with the boy of their dreams, though there had been some rumors, there wasn’t pictures or messages that could prove you were a couple.

Or at least until that day.

“God, I wish we could go hiking or something.” you said getting up from the bed and walking around the room.

“Maybe we can figure something out, we still have two more days, and I don’t plan on spending them here.” Shawn chuckled, leaving his phone on the bedside table.

“There are a lot of fans there.” you pointed out as you walked closer to the window.

“Don’t get too close, you never know if they have cameras with good lens or anything.”

“We are literally on the last floor, I doubt it.” you said before going back to your boyfriend.

“Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he chuckled as he circled his arms around your waist. “What’s your schedule for next week?” he asked and you let out a deep breath.

“James Corden, and some radio interviews…”

“I’m going to miss you, four days isn’t enough.” Shawn said leaving a trail of kisses from your forehead to your lips, making you giggle.

“Well, my promo days will be over in a couple of weeks, then I’ll be able to keep you some company, and when my tour starts you’ll have more free days so I think we’ll be just fine.” you kissed the tip of his nose.

“Sometimes I want to take a microphone and tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend, I want boys to stop hitting on you and trying to get your attention, and let them know that you’re mine, but then we’re here, just the both of us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Shawn confessed.

You smiled and pecked his lips. “Only time will tell, let’s enjoy each other right now.”

You were on the side of the stage with Shawn’s team as he performed. You couldn’t erase the smile that formed on your lips until you felt your phone vibrating; you decided to ignore it at first but it wouldn’t budge. Silently complaining you picked up and saw your manager’s name on the screen, which couldn’t mean good news.

“Hello? I’m at a concert so I can’t really hear you.”

“I know you’re in the middle of a concert, and that you were on Shawn’s room.”

“What?” you said slightly panicking.

“Someone got pictures of you hanging on Shawn’s room, and now as we’re talking people are taking pictures of you and posting them. You and Shawn are trending topic on Twitter right now.”

“You’re kidding.” you said out of breath.

“Secret’s out.”

“So, tonight we have the amazing (y/n) with us!” James Corden presented you.

You greeted everyone before taking a seat. “Thank you so much for having me!”

“You know you’re one of my favorite guests, we love you here.” James sincerely said, making your smile grow.

“Oh, you’re so sweet! and I love everyone here, you always make me feel so welcome so thank you!”

“Well… Since we have such a good relationship, how about you answer me some questions.” James said with a mischievous glint on his eyes.

“That’s what we are here for, aren’t we?” you said rubbing your hands together.

“How’s your life been?” James asked and you arched an eyebrow, expecting a more personal question.

“It’s been good! Very busy, but I’m very happy with everything that’s going on right now.”

“Have you been traveling a lot?” he asked and you had to control every muscle on your face because you had just discovered where was this going.

“Just the usual,” you shrugged.

“I’m asking because I came across some very interesting pictures of yourself in a hotel in Japan, with some very interesting companion.”

“Tokyo is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I was around and had to pay a quick visit.” you smiled trying to get past the obvious subject.

“And you just happened to be there, on the same hotel room as Shawn Mendes, and you just happened to be on the side of the stage as he performed…” James said and the audience whistled.

You could feel your cheeks heating up. “We are very good friends, he’s an incredibly talented guy.”

“Oh, so you know about his talents…” he said raising his eyebrows suggestively, and by now you were sure your cheeks were red as a tomato.

“Of course I do, just as the rest of the world!” you said hiding your face between your hands.

“You seem pretty nervous there, my friend.” James said finding it hilarious.

“You are putting me on the spot, stop it!” you said laughing, though you really wanted the interview to be over.

“Well, then come here with me to play one of my favorite games…” James announced standing up.

“Oh, please don’t say it.” you said even though you knew what was coming.

“This is ‘Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts’ with (y/n) (y/l/n)!”

So much for a quiet week.

You found yourself at Shawn’s apartment in New York, it was heavily raining outside while Modern Family was playing on the tv. You didn’t notice when Shawn appeared from behind and started reading, what you later assumed, was an article.

“Pop sensations Shawn Mendes and (y/n) (y/l/n) seem to be Hollywood’s latest couple. After been spotted several times together, it’s obvious to everyone that they are an item, even if they haven’t said a word about their status. It’s impossible to not recall the early stages of power couples like Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, or Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. What are they waiting for to confirm their love?” Shawn finished reading as he showed you different photos of the two of you hanging out.

You sighed. “We knew this was going to happen eventually.”

“Yeah, but I just don’t want the media to ruin this… It’s been the most amazing six months, and I really don’t want them to screw it up.” he said ruffling his hair.

You motioned for him to come over you, he sighed and placed his back against your chest. “Baby, they’re not going to ruin what we have. Nothing’s going to change, maybe it’s going to be for the better that people know.” you said playing with his curls.

Shawn stayed silent for a moment before speaking up: “Let’s go together to the AMAs.”

Your eyes widened slightly, clearly not expecting that. “What?”

“Let’s be each other’s date… That way we won’t have to say anything, we’ll just take pictures and look cute.”

“What is Andrew going to say? and, God, what is Andrea gonna say?” you said naming both of your managers.

“I think they can deal with it.” he kissed your lips softly.

You spent some time kissing and feeling each other until you fixed your eyes on his.

“I think I love you.” you said quietly.

“I don’t think I do…” he paused. “I’m a hundred percent sure I’m ridiculously in love with you.”

And that was all both you and Shawn needed to hear to be alright.

Silence filled the car as you approached the theater where the AMAs were being held.

Shawn held your hand tightly on his while drawing circles with his thumb, yet that didn’t seem to calm either of you down.

“You look beautiful.” Shawn said quietly.

You let out a nervous laugh. “Thanks. You look so hot I don’t think I can deal with it.”

“We’ll be okay, don’t worry about it.” Shawn assured you.

“Do you think we can go to McDonald’s or something after the show?” You said looking up at him.

Shawn let out a deep laugh. “Whatever makes you happy, babe.”

“Good.” you said giving him your best smile.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Shawn whispered as you could sense that you were getting closer to the place.

“We’ll have plenty of time tonight.” you said placing your hand on his thigh.

“Oh, don’t even doubt it.”

The car came to a stop. You stood there for good five minutes until someone opened the door for you. Shawn got out first and stretched his hand for you to take it. The flashes were blinding, but you still managed to fix your dress and hair.

A woman approached the both of you and said she was going to be guiding you. You first stopped to take some pictures while ignoring the questions that were being shout at you.

Shawn interlocked your fingers as you entered the red carpet, posing for the cameras. At first you only smiled, but then noticed Shawn was laughing softly, which made you hide your face on the crook of his neck, which made the paparazzi go crazy as you tried to hide your blushed cheeks.

You were finally reaching the end of the carpet when you felt Shawn’s hand stop on your lower back before pressing his lips to your cheek.

You were finally out of the woods, and you had never felt better.

Shawn was getting the last instructions before he heard Ellen DeGeneres present him. He put on his best smile and walked to the studio, greeted the host and the audience before taking a seat.

“So… A lot of things have been going on with you recently.” Ellen said and he nodded. “We had you on the show last year, and I have a question that’s been killing me…” Ellen said with a cheeky expression.

“Well, I’m here now so you can ask whatever you want.” he said rolling up his sleeves.

“We had you playing Who’d You Rather, and a few months later you confirmed your relationship with the winner that was the one and only, (y/n) (y/l/n).”

“That’s right.”

“When you chose her, were you already dating?” Ellen asked and the audience whistled.

Shawn smiled and his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “We had just started seeing each other.” he answered truthfully.

“And how is the relationship going? I understand you two are living together?” Ellen asked and Shawn nodded.

“We decided to move in together a couple of months ago, and that’s a huge step, but we are just so sure of our relation and the love we have for each other that it felt like it was the right thing to do.” Shawn answered and everyone aw-ed.

“That’s so sweet,” Ellen complimented. “You two look really good together.” she said and several pictures of the both of you appeared.

“Thank you,” Shawn said with a smile. “She’s an incredible girl, and I’m just lucky to have her in my life.” he answered trying not to say too much.

“I really hope to hear from you very soon. Shawn Mendes everybody!.”

Nine Months Later.

“Shawn, I’ve been calling you the entire day. I was worried.” you said to him once he entered your shared apartment.

“I was out with the boys, don’t sweat it.”

“You know I enjoy it when you go out with the boys, I just wish you’d let me know so I wouldn’t be worrying about you.” you said keeping your voice low.

“You don’t have to worry about me, (y/n). God, you sound like my mother.” he said walking to the kitchen.

You sighed and shook your head before walking to your bedroom.

“Shawn Mendes cheating on (y/n)? After two years of being together, it looks like Hollywood’s favorite couple is falling apart. Shawn Mendes was seen leaving a very all-known club in Hollywood with the one and only, Camila Cabello while his girlfriend is in Europe promoting her latest album. Is this the end for the love birds?” you finished reading one of the hundreds of articles that were online.

You tried to control your tears as pictures of Shawn and Camila filled your timeline. You didn’t know if you were angry or sad, but of course you couldn’t just ignore the way your boyfriend’s hand was on her waist as he guided her through the crowd of fans and reporters while you were eon the other side of the world.

Your team had been trying to cheer you up the entire day. You hadn’t been able to catch any sleep and it was already time to head to the airport, and Shawn hadn’t texted or called.

You were talking with some people of your team as you waited on the line for passport control when your phone started vibrating. You picked it up and saw your boyfriend’s name on the screen. The team’s eyes where on you as you sighed and picked up.

“Hey, I’m kind of busy.” you answered dryly.

“Whoa, babe. I was calling because I missed you.” he said and you could feel the angry tears forming on the corner of your eyes.

“You miss me now that you’re alone, or what?” you said harshly and could picture him frowning.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not saying you’re cheating on me or anything, but forgive me if I’m angry that there are photos of my boyfriend with another girl flooding the internet.”

“You can’t be serious.” Shawn said on disbelief.

“No, you can’t be serious! You don’t call me on three fucking days and expect me to be all cheerful after all I’ve been receiving lately are pictures of you with other girls, and all I’ve heard is people saying my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me!” you said raising your voice and noticed your team gathered around you so it wouldn’t draw much attention.

“You’re acting crazy, stop being a drama queen.”

At this point the tears were running freely down your cheeks. “I’m so done with you, Shawn. and I mean it.”

“Break up with me, then.”

“You know what? Maybe I will.” you said and cut the call.

Soon you felt several arms engulfing you in hugs and drying your tears.

Three weeks later you had arrived at your shared apartment with Shawn.

You didn’t want to come in at first.

Everyone had assumed you had broken up, and to be honest, you weren’t very sure if you were still together since you hadn’t spoken to him in three weeks.

You left your suitcase on the living room and in a matter of seconds Shawn appeared.

“You’re back.” he said on whisper.

“Yeah… I thought you were in LA.”

“Oh, the interview got cancelled…” he said looking a bit disappointed. “Why? You didn’t want to see me?”

“I’m not very sure.” you confessed.

“Baby…” he said taking a step towards you. “I’m so sorry. Nothing happened between Camila and I, or any of the other girls on the pictures for that matter. You’re the only one I love, and I’m sorry if I made you doubt that, but please don’t leave me.” he said and his voice cracked while his eyes welled up.

That was all it took for you to wrap his arms around him and mix his lips with yours.

Three weeks had passed since you had come back to your home and your friends decided to have a girls night at a fancy restaurant, and you happened to cross paths with Nick Jonas and some of his friends.

You greeted each other and after some talking, you decided to join their table and enjoy the night together.

Of course there was paparazzi waiting for you outside. Your friends left the restaurant first and walked to the car, meanwhile you and Nick were the last to leave, and paparazzi seemed to love the fact that they were going to have some juicy pictures on their power, even if they meant nothing.

“I hope the pictures don’t get you much trouble.” Nick told you as you said your goodbyes.

“Don’t worry about it. We had an incredible night, I hope to see you soon!”

“Thanks, you too.” and with that he disappeared on his car.

You got inside the car where your friends where waiting for you. You opened your phone and decided to text Shawn immediately to avoid trouble.

‘Hey, there might be some pictures of me with Nick, and some other people, don’t pay attention to them! Love you! xx.’

It didn’t take longer than five minutes for Shawn to respond.

‘Not pay attention to them? You realize that everything about this text is wrong, right?’

You sighed and closed your eyes. Something clearly wasn’t working, but you didn’t want to admit it out loud.

You and Shawn had been fighting all week, but you had an event to attend together and you didn’t have much of a choice but to put on your best smiles and try to make people not notice that nothing on your relationship was working.

You wanted to cry as you both took a seat on your assigned table. You didn’t even bother to look at who was going to seat next to you as Shawn was engrossed on a conversation with a middle-aged woman and her famous husband.

Two boys came to the table and greeted everyone, the only empty seat was the one next to you, and in a couple of minutes a flushed Justin Bieber appeared.

“Sorry, I’m late. Traffic.” he apologized as he waved his hand.

“It’s okay, nothing very interesting has happened.” you said and Justin looked at you.

“Hey, but if it isn’t (y/n) (y/l/n)! I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time, but we never seem to cross paths.” he said and you were surprised, to say the least.

“The feeling is mutual.” you said and thanked that the room was dark, otherwise he would’ve noticed the light red on your cheeks.

“Hey mate, it’s been a while.” Shawn said for what it felt like the first time in days for you.

“Oh, I hadn’t seen you! My bad.” Justin said shaking hands with Shawn.

Shawn’s hand didn’t leave your thigh for the rest of the night, but that didn’t stop you from laughing with Justin the entire night, and you hated to admit that it felt like the first time you were having a genuine laugh for weeks. You could feel the cameras on you every time Justin cracked a joke, and you were sure people could notice Shawn’s discomfort but at this point you couldn’t careless, you were feeling happy for the first time months, and you didn’t want it to stop.

“God, I didn’t think I was going to have such an amazing time tonight!” Justin said when the event was over. “We have to meet each other again. Here, let me give you my number.”

You could feel Shawn practically shaking with rage behind you, but you couldn’t suppress the smile as Justin said goodbye and left with the boys he had come with.

Shawn didn’t say a word the entire ride home, and you didn’t want to break the silence to be honest. You were unzipping your dress when Shawn appeared from behind you.

“What the fuck happened tonight?” Shawn asked frustrated.

“Sorry?” you said at his tone.

“I said, what the fuck happened tonight that you flirted with him in front of me!” Shawn said fuming with rage.

“Don’t yell at me.”you said not raising your voice. “and I hardly think he was flirting with me so calm down.”

“I’ll yell if I fucking want to! Because what you did tonight was low! and maybe he wasn’t flirting with you, but you were!”

“Oh, what I did tonight? How about the fact that you haven’t paid attention to me in weeks, and I’ve been feeling like crap because somewhere along the way you stopped caring for me or whatever!”

“Don’t play victim, (y/n) because I swear to God…”

“I felt happy for the first time in weeks today, Shawn. And I’m sorry, but this is not working.” you said emphasizing with your hands.

“Oh, so your taking the easy way out. Blaming me for everything that’s going on.”

“I’m not blaming you, Shawn. I’m blaming us! This is not healthy, and you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that!” you said with your eyes full of tears as Shawn refused to look at you.

“I love you, this is just a rough patch.” he muttered.

“Is it? Because it doesn’t feel right to me, no matter how much I love you.” you confessed and Shawn took a deep breath.

“So what? You’re going to leave me?” he said and you were surprised that you were able to hear him.

“I think we should take a break.” you told him and noticed all the air leave his lungs.

“Okay, then…” he shrugged his shoulders. “Just… tell me if this is forever, or just temporary, please.”

“I don’t know, but don’t make this harder, please.”

“Text me when you’re not here so I can pick up my things, or I’ll send someone… I’ll figure something out.”

Those were the last words that left his mouth before slamming the door.

“Shawn, it’s full of paparazzi outside, and I don’t think they’ll be nice.” Andrew told Shawn who was staring at the wall.

Pictures of you with the one and only Justin Bieber had appeared on the internet, and though you weren’t holding hands or anything, everybody knew what that meant.

Shawn noticed the way he guided you through the crowd with his hand on your waist, just like he did.

Shawn noticed the smile on your face as you watched him perform from the side stage, just like you had with him.

Shawn noticed the way Justin blushed when he was asked about you, just like he did when you were brought up in an interview.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes before speaking: “Let’s go.” he said getting up and earning pity glares from everyone in the room, and he couldn’t stand it.

He walked outside and soon was blinded by the camera flashes;

‘Shawn, is it true that you cheated on (y/n) with Camila?’

‘Shawn, is it true that (y/n) had an abortion and that’s why you broke up?’

Just a few more steps, Shawn thought. A few more steps and I’ll be inside the car.

Just when he reached the black SUV, he heard the worst question:

‘How does it feel to know that the whore of your girlfriend is now fucking Bieber?’

He didn’t have control of his body as he walked to the reporter.

“What the fuck did you just say?” he was ready to punch the guy. “What the fuck did you just say?! Repeat it, come on!” he shouted but soon felt two arms dragging him away.

“Man, not now. Come on.” he heard Geoff’s voice.

“You know I’m telling the truth!” the paparazzi shouted, enjoying the reaction he had gotten.

“Shut the fuck up or I’m going to beat the hell out of you!” Shawn yelled as he saw the reporter laugh.

“Shawn! Enough!” Andrew said and got him inside the car.

He felt the car moving and he couldn’t control the tears.

Six Months Later

“Justin Bieber and (y/n) (y/l/n) were captured sharing kisses and hugs in a yacht in Miami with their closest friends and even family. It looks like after Selena Gomez and Abel Tesfaye confirmed their relationship, Justin Bieber and (y/n) decided to do the same, leaving Shawn Mendes the only harmed in this complicated situation, after he and teen sensation broke their relationship of two years.” Shawn read on his phone while he was lying on his hotel room in Japan.

He wiped his tears with the back of his hand and took a deep breath. He had been in this very same hotel room with her, and they were happy. He never imagined it was going to end the way it did.

He opened your Instagram account and noticed there weren’t pictures of you and him, but he knew you liked to leave little clues, and that clue was a photo of you with a small silky terrier on a yacht, he opened and saw the caption “ @estherthecutie is the cutest thing in the world.” and the comments were filled with messages like “she is the cutest or her dad is the cutest?”, “how could you leave Shawn smh you stupid bitch”, “what a fame whore”, “I thought you and Shawn were perfect but you and Justin are just way better.”

He wanted to throw his phone against the wall and see it break into a thousand pieces, but he still had some sense on his mind… or so he thought before he found himself dialing the number he knew by heart.

Five rings later, he was able to hear her beautiful voice.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N), hey… It’s Shawn.” he said and he felt like he couldn’t breath.

“I know… Is everything okay?”

“Why him?” he asked on the verge of tears, again.

“Shawn...”

“No… Please tell me what is it that he has that I don’t. How come he is making you smile and I’m not?” his voice broke.

“Shawn, please don’t do this…”

“I love you, and you took my heart and threw it away like it meant nothing.”

“You know I never wanted to hurt you...” you said through the phone, and Shawn knew your words were genuine.

“But you did!” he raised his voice. “Dammit, you took something from me and I don’t know how to get it back! I need you.”

“You don’t, Shawn. You can be happy without me, you have to be happy. You deserve it, please don’t do this to yourself.”

Shawn released a bitter chuckle. “It’s so easy for you to say, with your perfect new boyfriend who takes you on vacation and lets you babysit his dog.”

“Shawn, I’m going to hang up now.”

“Does he make you happy?” he asked.

“You don’t have to do this.” you insisted.

“I need to know, so I can move on… Does he make you happy? Does he treat you well?”

You sighed before answering: “Yes, he makes me very happy.”

“Okay, then… Goodbye, (y/n).”

and with that he cut the call.

and it felt like he could breath again, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

You were keeping Justin company on the South American leg of his tour.

You had gone hiking in Chile, and now you had been chilling on the beaches of Rio, and now you were driving somewhere in Brazil. it was a deserted road, but the air hitting your skin made you feel complete as you heard your boyfriend singing the words of a song that was playing on a random Brazilian radio station.

He had his hand on your thigh as he hummed to the song. Then someone started speaking in Portuguese, which made you chuckle because you couldn’t understand much, but then the chords to a very known song started playing.

I won’t lie to you

I know he’s just not right for you

Justin chuckled before asking. “Should we change it?”

“No, it’s okay.” you laughed.

Shawn’s voice filled the car, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The song came to an end but in a matter of seconds the song It Ain’t Me started playing, and this time none of you could contain the giggles escaping your lips.

“You have to be kidding me, oh my God.” Justin laughed, throwing his head back.

“Turn it up,” you said, barely able to contain your laughter.

You just kept driving with the sunset on filling your view. The catchy beat was the only thing heard, and even when the song came to an end, neither you or Justin said something for a while.

“Can you treat me better than he can?” you asked Justin, making him stare at you.

“You’re kidding.” he asked laughing.

“Answer the question!” you said hitting his shoulder softly.

“I think I can manage to do that…” he answered jokingly. “What about you?”

“Sorry?”

“Are you going to rock me when the sun won’t let me sleep?” he asked you barely containing his giggles.

“I think I can work something out.” you answered before you both exploded in a fit of giggles.

“God, I love you so much.” Justin said placing his hand on your thigh.

and in that moment you knew you were okay, and you knew that he was going to be okay, too.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes one shot #justin bieber imagine

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jennerkenya · 7 years

Text

Surprise, Surprise

Logan: raised his glass of champagne for one final toast before the dessert was brought out. “I hope you’ve enjoyed the day, beautiful.”

Kendall: smiled at her boyfriend and lifted her glass of water. Not yet 21, but at the moment, water was a good choice for her anyway. “I have, baby. Today was wonderful and here’s to many more spent with you.” She clinked her glass against his and took a sip of water.

Logan: “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of days with each other in the future.” At least that was what he was hoping for if all went well. He never expected to fall for Kendall. He had a few serious relationships prior to her but the two were so different it was almost hard to believe they fit so well together. What had started off as an innocent non-sexual fling for the both of them, had gradually become much more than that. Here they were almost a year later, still completely smitten for one another.

Kendall: “I think we will too.” She nodded her head in agreement and set her glass down. Prior to dating Logan, Kendall had told herself she would only date a specific type of guy. Someone who was taller than her, closer in age to her, and who was on a similar level of fame as her. Logan met none of thosw requirements but she believed that’s why she fell for him. He was different from what she planned and what she had in the past. Being with Logan made her realize that her list of requirements were juvenile and stupid. She couldn’t imagine her life without him now. “So what’s after this? Going back to your place?” She asked with a sly smile.

Logan: “We’re definitely going back there. Got to end the night properly.” He laughed, looking past Kendall and a little behind her at the waiter who was patiently waiting. “But first, I have one last thing for you.” He told her, motioning for him to come over with the dessert. Once it was set down in front of them and he walked away, Logan looked over at Kendall to gauge her reaction. Written out on the plate along with the dessert were the words ‘will you marry me…’ He knew it was time, he was just hoping she felt the same. He took a sip of his champagne before he began to move to get out of his seat.

Kendall: “Another surprise? Logan, you’ve done enough already today.” She shook her head in disbelief. She liked to believe she was the easiest to please of her sisters, so the gifts he had given her earlier along with the lovely dinner had been more than enough for her. She smiled at the waiter as a thanks for the bringing of their dessert but her face immediately went into shock mode as she looked at the plate. She couldn’t believe it. Logan was about to propose to her. She never would’ve guessed that he’d do it now. She knew how busy he had been getting his solo career started and they had only been dating for almost a year, but it was about to happen. Maybe. She still had a secret of her own to tell him that could change his mind. “Logan, wait!” She looked at him, grabbing his hand so he wouldn’t move.

Logan: He had been planning this for a month. He had went to both Kris and Caitlyn to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage and once he found the ring, he asked two of her sisters, Khloé and Kylie, for their opinion on it. They both said it was perfect for her which made him feel a lot better. He had alerted his own parents and sister of his plan earlier in the week. They were all happy for him and his mom was thrilled that he finally found 'the one.“ He couldn’t tell if Kendall was upset, surprised, or angry but he could feel the nerves start to get to him the second she stopped him from moving. "What’s wrong?”

Kendall: took a deep breath, trying to get the courage to tell Logan the secret she’s been keeping from him for the last few weeks. She was pregnant. They always used protection but one night after a date, they were too wrapped up in each other to even think about it and she wasn’t on birth control. There was never really a need for it because prior to Logan, she never had sex with anyone other than her high school boyfriend and she and Logan hadn’t even had sex that many times since their first time in February. She had to figure it was that night that she got pregnant. She looked over at him and could see the worry in his eyes and she really hoped he wouldn’t walk away from her once she told him. “I have something to tell you and once I do, it may cause you to change your mind about all of this. About us.”

Logan: He was beginning to reconsider doing this. Maybe she thought it was too soon for them to get engaged, and okay, he’d feel a little dumb but they could mover past it. Once Kendall said she had something that she needed to talk to him about, however, he was wondering what it could possibly be that would make her feel the way she’s feeling. Was she cheating on him? It was the first thought that came into his mind. After being cheated on herself, he knew that couldn’t have been the case. She hated cheaters but what else could it be? Did she want to break up or was she uninterested in getting married? His mind was going a mile a minute. “What’s going on, Kendall?”

Kendall: “I’m terrified to tell you this because I don’t know what you’ll do or what you’ll think and I don’t want things between us to be ruined because of it.” She was speaking rapidly and she had to take a moment to get herself together before she started crying. She didn’t want to lose Logan. He was the best thing to happen to her in a while and she’d be heartbroken if he ended their relationship because he wasn’t ready to be a father. “I don’t know how to say it exactly but I guess being straightforward is the best way to go.” She took another pause and looked away from him and down at her hand that was still covering his. “I’m pregnant.” She said lowly, deciding it’d be best not to say it so many people could hear. The last thing she needed was for someone to leak it to the media.

Logan: didn’t speak as Kendall was talking. He watched her intently and could see the tears building in her eyes over whatever it was she had been bottling up. He wasn’t expecting her to tell him that she was pregnant. That thought never crossed his mind. He took a moment to register it. He knew being a father would be a lot of work. Both James and Kendall were fathers and although they made it look easy, he knew they struggled from time to time but being able to be a father was one of the most rewarding things to them. Sure, he wasn’t looking to have kids for quite some time and he wanted to at least marry Kendall first but there was no way he was walking away from her or their child. “Kendall, I love you. I can’t imagine how you’ve been feeling with this bottled up inside but I’m letting you know right now that I’m not going anywhere.” He reassured her, lifting her hand to his lips so he could kiss the back of it. “I’m going to love this baby just as much as I love you. You don’t need to be afraid.” He explained and he believed what he way saying. It’d be hard at times but they’d get through it. “This won’t be easy all the time but we have each other and family and friends. We’ll get through it and we’ll get through it together.”

Kendall: was relieved to hear that Logan wasn’t going anywhere. It felt as if a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. She was still nervous about becoming a mom but if Logan wasn’t going to worry too much, then why should she? “I just don’t want to ruin us or even our careers. I know you’ve been working so hard to become your own person with your career and I’m at a good place in mine. I just don’t want this to put us in a bad place.” It was her second fear: that they wouldn’t be able to bounce back in their careers after the baby. She wasn’t worried about herself as much as she was about Logan and she didn’t want him to resent her because of it.

Logan: “Don’t worry about any of that, Kendall. We’ll be fine. There is nothing that the two of us can’t handle.” He knew that his child would come before his career, even Kendall came before his career and as much as he was ready to break out on his own, he was going to make sure that Kendall knew how important she, and now the baby, were to him. “Nothing will break us and I’m more than excited to become a dad, and if you truly believe me, I would love to be able to continue with what I was planning to do.”

Kendall: If she had any doubt in her mind that Logan was wrong for her, it flew out the window as he spoke to her. He was perfect. Perfect son, perfect brother, perfect friend, perfect boyfriend, and she knew he would be the perfect father to their baby. She loved this man sitting across from her so much that it hurt. He said that nothing would break them and she knew that was true. They would stumble every now and then, but they would never fall. “Yes, please continue. Maybe you’ll find the answer you’re looking for.” She winked at him, feeling the tears begin to come into her eyes once again, but this time they were from happiness.

Logan: chuckled at her and moved to get down on one knee in front of her, grabbing her left hand. “Right from the start, I knew you were something special. I couldn’t deny that I was attracted to you. I never could have imagined that after all those months of just casually dating that I would be here, down on one knee, and about to embark on an amazing journey with the most wonderful, beautiful woman in the entire world. I want to spend ever single day of my life being able to wake up in the morning and go to be at night calling you mine. You’re my heart and soul and I want that for the rest of my life if you’ll have me.” He took a moment to pull the ring from his pocket and held it in his fingers so she could see it. “So, Kendall Nicole Jenner, will you marry me?”

Kendall: could feel the tears rushing down her face. It was a beautiful moment and she wanted it to last forever. The love they had for one another was real and it would be a love that they would have for the rest of their lives. She already had her answer and she knew he knew what it was but she still took a moment to pause so she could get the answer out like she wanted. “Yes, yes! A thousand times yes!” She smiled and used her free hand to wipe the steady stream from her face.

Logan: slid the ring onto her finger, a perfect fit, and pulled her up so he could kiss her properly. There had been a lot of amazing moments in his life but none of them could beat this. This was by far at the top and he could hardly believe that it just happened.

Kendall: wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled. The love of her life just proposed to her and they were expecting their first child together. Talk about a night full of surprises. She pulled away to catch her breath and to admire the ring he put on her finger. He did good, it was phenomenal. “I cannot believe that just happened.”

Logan: “Believe it, B.” He smiled at her as she took a look at the ring. There was no evident sign of disappointment which made him feel better about his choice. “You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.” He was sure of it. She was stunning as is but he knew whenever their wedding day rolled around, she would be even more breathtaking than she already was.

Kendall: buried her head in the crook of his neck while a smile that she was sure wouldn’t leave her face for the rest of the night, and probably the rest of the week, played on her lips. “Tell me the truth,” she murmured into his skin. “All the gifts from earlier were your attempt to butter me up so I’d say yes, right?” She joked as a giggle escaped past her lips.

Logan: He had his arms still wrapped around her waist as she tucked herself into what he knew was her favorite spot. He laughed as she spoke, tilting his head back as he did so. “You caught me. Had to sweeten the deal just in case, you know?”

Kendall: stood back up and looked into his eyes. She hoped their baby looked like him. He was a fine specimen to look at and she knew that if they had a boy, he’d be a heart-breaker for all the little girls to drool over. “I love you so much, Logan.” She meant those words. It had been years since she had been in love but what she had with Logan was real and now, they were also permanent.

Logan: There was no better way to end the night. Okay, he could think of a few spectacular ways to end it but they probably still wouldn’t beat this moment. To think he had almost told himself that he’d never get married. He was glad he never thought too much about that because he couldn’t be happier. He cupped her cheeks, pulling her forward so he could place a kiss on her lips. “I love you too, future missus.”

#posted this sooo late #i was supposed to do this like last may #it's been nearly a year #i'm truly the worst #para #(or sort of)#really more of a chatzy but whatever #p: logan #p: ss

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