#and honestly speaking im still not done crying over this ep
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This episode was so painful (to us viewers and) for BOTH parents
Misaki realizing that they have almost everything she can’t provide Miri. from all types of clothing, to a room filled with everything the child wants, Misaki realized that this place has everything she couldn’t afford. In her eyes, this is paradise for a child like Miri.
But if there’s anything Kazuki and Rei can’t do, it’s to provide Miri a normal life. One devoid of lies and danger. If they choose to keep this up, it will hurt them all in the long run.
#buddy daddies#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#misaki unasaka#miri unasaka#this was a wake up call for them#and honestly speaking im still not done crying over this ep#i mean in a literal sense#i can still feel the tears in my eyes#i do not know how much buddy daddies saturday i have in me anymore lads#THIS EPISODE SET ON CHRISTMAS EVE. THE DAY THEY MET (and killed miri's father) WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEE#christmas eve is the day they met and depart#this is wicked
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Not Bad
Prompts: Hihi, i have a Merlin prompt if you're interested. Merlin thinks he's a bad person bec he was taught that magic is bad, but also Bec of all the stuff he did/does to keep Arthur safe and ig throw in some touch starved!Merlin too for fun. But the knights compliment/hug/etc all the time and Merlin just doesn't understand what he's supposed to do with this, so the solution is to breakdown crying and try to convince the knights he's the bad person he sees himself as and the knights are just like "but you're wrong and he's 25 reasons why you're wrong" Plz, thx, love your writing - anon
im a fuckin sucker for soft knights & arthur w merlin so, if ur still takings reqs, i would love to see when the knights realize merlin still views himself as a "monster" like is hinted in first ep (? i thinkk, im rusty on my merlin trivia)- is it a passing comment he makes and they realize all together? knight cuddle pile? just give the poor boy some love - anon
if you'd want to write it i'd love to see the collective moment that the knights realize that merlin is self-harming in some way (in my brain this is probably in like a denial-of-things type thing that he probably doesn't even see as self-harm bc he's an idiot, could even be something like healing everyone else w magic but refusing to heal himself... idk feel free to do whatever you see fit!). i can only imagine they'd be frustrated with him and themselves but theyre just loving large idiots (': - anon
ahh yes all the prompts
Read on Ao3 Part 2
Warnings: implied/referenced self-harm in the form of intentionally depriving oneself of physical contact because THAT COUNTS
Pairings: merthur, can be platonic or romantic I don't care
Word Count: 3462
Arthur is confused, very upset, and nothing is alright anymore, thank you very much.
Because you see, despite the image that he tries to present—emphasis on the word ‘try’, there, according to his knights—he does care an awful lot about his people, especially his one particular person that happens to be able to say an awful lot without saying anything.
Merlin. He’s talking about Merlin, in case you hadn’t noticed.
The problem is that for all the man can ramble on about seemingly anything, at any time, he’s remarkably good at saying absolutely nothing about himself. He claims he’s an open book, but he’s certainly in a language that Arthur doesn’t know how to read.
He does know how to read, just to clarify. That isn’t the issue here.
No, no, the issue is that after months, years, almost a decade of Merlin by his side, watching his back, taking care of him, he’s discovered that there’s a secret that Merlin’s keeping from him. One he never intended to tell Arthur.
And before you panic, no, he’s not talking about Merlin’s magic.
Come on, it’s not like it’s not obvious, the man isn’t exactly good at hiding it. Does he seriously believe Arthur can’t see the tree branches that miraculously pick themselves up and fly at the nearest bandit or the spears that fling themselves at the foe about to behind Gwaine? Or the chores that mysteriously get done too fast for Merlin and far too efficiently? Or the way certain magical ailments seem to vanish mysteriously along with his idiot of a servant only to be greeted with a soft shrug when he pokes?
Merlin’s eyes also turn gold, that’s pretty neat.
So Merlin has magic.
Yes, we know, we had a small tantrum over the fact that he told Lancelot first, but it’s fine. Quite frankly, a lot of things make more sense now.
Except for this. Not this.
Merlin is hiding the secret that he believes he’s a bad person.
Now, Arthur’s not sure if you’ve met Merlin, but the man isn’t exactly the image of the evildoer that springs to mind when someone says ‘bad person.’
The Witch Finder, now there’s a bad person. Storming into Camelot, preying on the fear of the people, bribing and threatening and drugging people, torturing them, and condemning them to death just for the sake of a few coins.
Merlin did storm into Camelot, that is true, but he decided to pick a fight with the crown prince and then save his life. He’s not here for coin—if he were, they wouldn’t have had that small, er, issue about the steward not paying him anything for his work for the past eight years, honestly—and he’s certainly not preying on anyone’s fears. Except perhaps Arthur’s fear of losing his dignity.
The look on his father’s face when Merlin dodged the pillow…
Speaking of his father…there’s another one.
His father did not prey as openly on the people’s fear—or as obviously as Aredian, but prey on them he did. He was a strong king, sometimes too strong. He was a blind king, saw the people as nothing more than subjects, not the living breathing humans they are. He remembers Morgana’s voice, saying that authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.
He always wanted to see Uther’s face when his ward—when his daughter said that to him.
And what he’s done to Morgana…
Arthur grimaces and shakes his head. Perhaps the very truth that he resents the idea of thinking about what Uther did to Morgana, to him…perhaps that is enough.
Those are bad people. At least to Arthur.
Merlin, on the other hand…
Merlin came into Camelot, knowing that if it was discovered that he has magic, he would be burnt at the stake. He came, not with any aspirations of glory, simply because he trusted his mother when she told him to come to Gaius. He came and he was given a job he never asked for, one he had no idea how to do, and stayed.
Merlin learned. Slowly, perhaps, but he learned. Now he has enough knowledge on what a servant should do to break the rules in the most spectacular fashion. Arthur smiles, biting back the chuckle at seeing George dressed up like Merlin and acting perfectly proper and the urge Arthur had to throw him out of the room.
And that’s not even mentioning what he does when he’s not following Arthur around.
Merlin learned. Merlin stayed.
Not just for Gaius, but for Arthur.
Arthur leans onto his desk, staring out into the courtyard where Merlin is tending to the knights’ horses as they mount up for patrol. He watches Leon step a little closer, lowering his head to mutter something to him, watching Gwaine clap Merlin on the shoulder.
Watches Merlin flinch a little too hard.
Watches Leon’s brow furrow and Gwaine take a step back.
This. This is the problem.
Merlin believes he’s a bad person. Which is wrong, but for some reason, he does.
And because Merlin believes he’s a bad person, he believes that anytime one of the knights touches him—or anyone touches him—it will be to hurt him.
How did they come to this conclusion, you may ask?
Arthur bites back a snarl as he turns away from the window.
It had started with the complements.
Gwaine, to no one’s surprise, was quite fond of flirting with anyone and everyone that would let him, Merlin no exception. Talking about Merlin’s looks, his personality, his work ethic, anything, and everything. Merlin would flush, bright red, ears and all, mumbling to himself.
But then Percival had said something and Merlin pushed him away—well, prodded his arm, no one really moves Percival without Percival letting them—and shook his head. Percival had shrugged but the rest of them had noticed the tension in Merlin’s shoulders.
Then Elyan complemented Merlin’s tracking abilities and Merlin hadn’t even acknowledged it, instead insisting that they keep moving before it got too dark to see and they’d be forced to make camp in the woods. They’d agreed, pressing on, but noting the way that Merlin refused to say so much as thank you.
Leon’s perceptiveness should be considered magical. Seriously, Arthur’s not entirely convinced the man can’t see into people’s heads, what with the information he’s able to produce out of nothing more than the twitch of a finger or the slightest huff of breath. But he sees the way Merlin shies away from any display of affection, even as he gently repeats it, watching Merlin turn his back and get back to work.
Arthur never saw what happened with Lancelot. All he knows is that one night, out in the woods, the two of them had gone off to collect firewood and Merlin had been hiding red-rimmed eyes when he returned, a few paces ahead of Lancelot, not ten minutes later. Arthur had glared but the forlorn confusion on Lancelot’s face had given him pause.
Then it was the touching.
One would expect Merlin to be a quite tactile person, and he is. He’s all shoulder nudges and pokes and prods and gentle shoves to get people to move where he wants them to go. And it’s not like the man has much concept of personal space.
No, some of that is not Arthur’s fault, how dare you?
But when someone else tries it, Merlin tenses reflexively, already moving before their hands make contact. He gives everyone he can a wide berth, scuttling around the outside of rooms until one of them breaks and tells him to come here, Merlin, it’s alright, we won’t hurt you. His face never quite believes them.
The strangest thing is how much of it Merlin makes small adjustments for.
He always wears those god-awful tunics, that he won’t let Arthur replace with fabric that doesn’t feel like it’s a burlap sack, with the sleeves pulled all the way down and those kerchiefs tied around his neck. Arthur’s seen his sleeves rolled up before, but only when Merlin’s working and he hasn’t realized Arthur’s there yet. It’s not like Arthur doesn’t know Merlin has forearms, but Merlin will always jump and guiltily roll his sleeves down.
He doesn’t notice why until he accidentally brushes Merlin’s bare skin once and Merlin all but tears away like he’s been burned.
He doesn’t know why.
Merlin has a secret. The secret is that he believes he’s a bad person. That means he can’t accept compliments and he can’t let them touch him.
This is a problem, because Arthur would very much like for Merlin to believe that he isn’t a bad person.
This is also a problem because Arthur has no idea how to do that.
He looks up when there’s a knock on the door.
“Enter.”
“Sire?” Leon steps through. “May we come in?”
Arthur nods, his eyebrows raising as all of his knights spill into the room.
“Shall I assume you’re on the warpath again?”
“Nah,” Gwaine grumbles, throwing himself into a chair, “know this isn’t your fault.”
Leon shakes his head. “It’s Merlin, sire, we’re…concerned.”
Arthur just sighs and tells them what’s been buzzing around his head for the past…however long it’s been. The knights nod.
“He doesn’t like to be touched when he doesn’t expect it,” Lancelot offers, “but when I ask…he doesn’t seem to want to agree either.”
“But he does,” Gwaine argues, “you’ve seen the way he stares at us when we hug each other, he looks like a poor child that’s never had a hug in his life!”
“Which isn’t true.” Elyan folds his arms. “Gwen’s hugged him.”
“We’ve all hugged him.”
“But he still thinks we’re going to hurt him.”
“Well,” Arthur mutters, “we can’t exactly blame him for being paranoid, can we?”
“If you lot are going to talk about me behind my back like it’s a war council, then yeah, I reserve the right to be paranoid.”
“Merlin!”
“Thank god, where’ve you been?”
“I thought we were meeting by the stables.”
“Did you get hurt?”
Merlin raises his hands and takes a step back. “Whoa, can I get through the door first before the interrogation starts?”
“This isn’t an interrogation,” Arthur says, glaring at the knights, “we’re concerned.”
“Uh-huh,” Merlin mutters, weaving through them to the table so he can set down the thing hooked over his arm, “yes, I’m all too familiar with your concern.”
Arthur frowns. “What does that mean?”
Merlin waves a hand. “Oh, just that it’s a prelude to more chores and things to do.”
Is that…true?
“Yes.”
Did he say that out loud?
“Also yes.”
Arthur shakes his head. “Merlin, we’re not coming up with lists and lists for chores for you to do.”
“Really? With how many you all constantly give me, here I finally thought I’d cracked the code as to why.”
Leon steps forward. “We’re not coming up with things to give you, Merlin, nor are we intending to gossip behind your back.”
“So what are you doing?”
“We’re worried,” Lancelot repeats, “about you.”
“Well, I’m right as rain, no need to worry.”
“Lie.”
Merlin’s eyes go wide and he stares at Leon. The knight smiles ruefully and takes another little step forward.
“Lie,” he repeats gently, “you don’t have to lie to us, Merlin.”
Merlin’s mouth thins. “Maybe I don’t want to tell you, then.”
“Why not—“
“No,” Arthur breaks in, causing Merlin to swing his head around again, “no, if Merlin doesn’t want to tell us he doesn’t have to.”
Gwaine looks on the verge of protest, but another look from Lancelot is enough to quell him. He sinks into the chair and tosses an apple to Merlin.
“At least eat something,” he says by way of explanation, “you’ve not eaten anything since lunch.”
Merlin looks very confused—good, now he’s just like the rest of them—but bites into the apple nonetheless. His gaze travels around the room before coming to rest on Leon.
“Why are you all concerned?”
“Because you won’t let us complement you, Merlin,” Leon says softly, “you believe that every time we touch you we intend to hurt you, and you believe that this is deserved because you are a bad person.”
The flabbergasted look on Merlin’s face is almost enough to make Arthur laugh. Almost.
“How…”
“We notice things, Merlin,” Leon says patiently, “we notice you.”
Lancelot snorts. “Good going, mate, you’ll freak him out.”
“Um—there’s nothing worth noticing about me—“
“Not we all know that’s not true,” Gwaine says, and if it had been any other time it would’ve sounded like the next pick-up line at the tavern, “you’re worth noticing, Merlin.”
Merlin’s gaze darts back and forth, finding no disagreement in any faces.
“What—what were you concerned about?”
“Aside from what we just told you?”
“But I don’t—why is that a problem?”
Arthur swallows a curse. “Are you asking why we’re upset that you believe you’re a bad person and you deserve to be treated badly?”
“…yes?”
“Because you’re not a bad person,” Elyan says, “and you don’t deserve to feel like everyone’s about to hurt you.”
Gods, the look of disbelief on Merlin’s face hurts.
“You don’t know that,” he says lowly, setting the apple down, “you don’t know that.”
“Sure we do.” Elyan uncrosses his arms. “We know you, Merlin.”
“I don’t think you do.”
A look passes around the group of knights. Elyan smiles.
“I know that Gwen came home and told me she’d made a friend the first week you arrived in Camelot. I know that you’ve reminded us what family means. I know that you care, Merlin, about your friends, because they’re important to you.”
Merlin blinks in confusion.
“I know you’re a strong man,” Percival says, “and not just because you can lift the packs for the horses without complaining. But you work hard, because you know you can, and so that people don’t have to. You provide what you can because you know what it’s like to have nothing.”
“I—I—“
“I know you’re brave,” Lancelot says softly, standing, “I know you feel the same fear that we all do and you stare it straight in the face.”
He pauses, takes one step closer.
“I know you don’t chase the glory of being brave, but the feeling of being brave and using it.”
“Guys, I—“
“I know what you’ve done.”
Merlin’s face goes pale at Leon’s words.
The knight tilts his head to the side and smiles.
“I’ve been around the longest,” he says in a near whisper, “and I have seen the changes from when you arrived in Camelot until now. I’ve seen the differences, not just in the other men in this room but in Camelot.”
He lays a hand on his chest.
“I know that you’ve made me prouder to serve this kingdom than many others that have tried.”
Poor Merlin is shaking right now, his fingers trembling on the edge of the table. He looks around in confusion, terribly frightened, sending more aches through Arthur’s chest.
“You wouldn’t say that—“ he gasps— “you wouldn’t say that if you knew the truth.”
“And what truth is that?”
“That—that I—“ Merlin’s breaths start to ring in the chamber— “I—I—“
“That you have magic?”
Merlin’s head jerks around to stare at Arthur. Arthur raises his hands and takes a step closer. Merlin flinches.
“It’s alright, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, “I’m not angry. I’m not going to hurt you. You have magic, though, right?”
“Yes—yes, I—but I’ve only ever used it for—for you Arthur, I—“
“Easy,” he soothes, fighting the urge to reach out and pull him close, “I know. It’s alright.”
“No, it’s not,” Merlin all but whimpers, “it’s not okay, it’s bad, it’s bad and I’m bad, I’m bad—“
“You’re not.”
“I am!”
Merlin yanks his arms to his sides, curling them tightly around himself, much to the protest of the knights. His fingers whiten as he clutches the sides of his tunic.
“I’m bad, bad people get hurt, you don’t—you don’t touch bad people.”
“Merlin,” Arthur breaks in softly, “Merlin, sweetheart, I’m going to come over to you.”
He can hear the quickly stifled gasps and Gwaine’s ‘oh shit’ as he inches towards Merlin. The poor man doesn’t move, but the tremors get worse and worse the closer Arthur gets.
“I’m right here,” he murmurs, “I won’t hurt you, sweetheart, do you believe me? That I won’t hurt you?”
“I—I—“
“Because I won’t,” he promises, still fighting the urge to swoop the poor thing into a hug, “I’ll never hurt you, sweetheart.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not bad, Merlin, and you certainly don’t deserve to be hurt.”
“You don’t know that,” comes the strangled whisper, “you don’t know what I’ve done.”
“But I know you, Merlin,” Arthur murmurs, “and that’s enough.”
He can’t stop the concerned noise at Merlin’s huff of disbelief.
“It’s enough, sweetheart, it’s—hey! Easy, easy,” he soothes as Merlin’s knees buckle and he catches him before he can hit the ground, “I’ve got you, shh, shh, you’re alright.”
“Oh,” Lancelot murmurs as Merlin starts to shiver terribly, “oh, Merlin, you’re touch starved.”
“Touch starved?”
“He’s not been touched for a very long time,” Lancelot murmurs, hustling to join them on the floor, scooping Merlin’s legs into his lap, “and so he’s not used to it, but he needs it.”
“We all need touch?”
“Yes, otherwise our bodies get…unhappy.” Lancelot shakes his head. “I’m sure Gaius could explain it more. The short version is humans aren’t built to hold each other at arm’s length.”
Arthur tightens his grip on the lapful of shaking Merlin he has. There’s a cold nose buried in the crook of his neck, arms looping awkwardly around his shoulders. Distantly, he hears the scufflings of the other knights as they move closer.
“We’ve got you, sweetheart,” he fins himself whispering, “we’ve got you, we won’t hurt you, you’re safe, you’re good, we have you, it’s alright, now…”
Poor Merlin is still shuddering terribly.
“Shh, shh, easy, just try and relax, we have you…”
Since when has Merlin been this cold?
“Oh, I’m definitely hugging you every day,” Gwaine mutters, helping to prop Merlin up away from the table.
“Why—“ Merlin swallows— “why are you all so warm?”
“You’re cold,” Arthur says, “we’re helping.”
“I’m—I’m—what is it? Touch—touch—“
“Touch starved,” Lancelot offers gently, “yes, Merlin.”
“You’re helping?”
Gwaine shifts behind him. “We’re helping.”
“You’re not…mad?”
“No, Merlin, we’re not mad.”
“I’m not bad?”
Arthur tightens his grip. “Never, Merlin.”
“You—I can—I can stay?”
“Yes, Merlin,” comes the chorus of knights, “for as long as you like.”
Arthur is still upset, very confused, and more than a little overprotective right now.
But so is Merlin.
And they’re…they’re starting to figure it out.
One thing’s for sure: Arthur’s definitely pulling Merlin into bed to cuddle with him instead of getting up in the morning.
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some little additions to the ep 5 endings for low brotherhood
oh this post is going to hurt but i’m doing it anyway. these are just some brainstorms on tweaks to the endings bc for the most part, they all come off as high brotherhood, which is fine for me tbh bc i have never played a LB route cause im Soft™️. but i’m also Curious™️ and thought up some variations that couldve been made for people that did have a LB playthrough
these are mostly tiny changes. nothing too major bc like in canon, i think morality having the highest affect on Cross vs. Surrender is fine, but it would’ve been kinda cool if the epilogues had been tweaked a little to reflect brotherhood also. so possible tweaks i thought of is basically what this post is about.
here’s some:
redemption
(sidenote: okay i said the changes were mostly little and i promise they are. this ending specifically tho just has the most significant ones i’ve made by adding in like 2 extra scenes. but that’s really it)
in this ending things are the same when they reach the road block, including daniel tearing up, until sean says “you’re my brother”. they do not exchange i love yous nor hug or touch foreheads. sean goes straight to “and i know it’s gonna be alright” while keeping an outstretched arm on daniel’s shoulder. daniel also goes straight to his “how do you know”. the car scene plays out the same from then on except without hugging. they mostly stay separately in each other’s seats.
daniel doesn’t panic and jump to his feet when the police start walking sean to the car. he stands up resigned and watches sadly but quietly. sean doesnt say anything as he gets in the car but does look back at daniel before they pull off
in the collage, there is still a picture of daniel visiting sean in prison, but they don’t hug and just speak tensely across from one another.
daniel doesn’t come on the day of sean’s release, karen is the only default. now, like lyla, daniel is a determinant. (imagine if they were all determinant and even karen didn’t come meaning sean could get out of jail with nobody in the world caring about him jesus christ) there’s a scene with sean afterwards visiting daniel’s apartment. when daniel opens the door, he’s shocked and slams a palm to his forehead, clearly having forgot sean’s release date.
there’s small polite smiles on their faces as they greet each other at the door, but sean never makes it past the front steps. their conversation is brief before daniel gestures that he actually was walking out and has to go. they say their goodbyes with a casual hug (quick back slap) before daniel hops in his car using his power and pulls off with sean watching.
sean still goes back to their first campsite but alone. it mostly plays out the same where he still cries, but with no comfort, and then drives away towards the right after taking one last look at the trail
the epilogue ends with daniel stepping out of his car and approaching faraway friends that he waves to. they’re drawn vague and out of focus to save on production costs (don’t worry dontnod i gotchu). the angle of the scene shifts so it looks like daniel is walking off towards the left
summary (1/2) -> sean took the heat in order to let daniel have a childhood in america. and he succeeds in this, but because their relationship was poor, during his incarceration their bond practically turns to dust. daniel gets a childhood, but sean loses his own and his brother in return
summary (2/2) -> sean still wants some kind of relationship with his brother, but its awkward and distant. daniel does not hate sean. he holds some semblance of polite respect for him bc in his HM!eyes sean “did the right thing” at the end of their journey. but overall, they are not that close and are more like acquaintances who just worked on a group project one time.
blood brothers
sean doesn’t say “be careful” before daniel gets out the car. just “you know what to do”
they don’t hold hands after daniel’s massacre. daniel just stares out the window while sean focuses ahead
(after the 6 years) when sean backs into the garage and daniel sees he’s being held at gunpoint, daniel doesn’t do anything at first. he doesn’t even move forward to get a better look. he simply watches the scene play out until the gang members notice he’s there, bc sean keeps glancing his way, and they begin to threaten him too. that is when he uses his powers.
sean giving daniel a pat on the shoulder? yeah in this LB version it’s now a shove. he noticed that daniel did not have his back. daniel just shrugs.
he still heads out to their patio and takes a seat. the scene is angled so that the player sees sean over daniel’s shoulder think about joining him, wanting to go smoke, with their dad’s lighter already out so we still see it. but he instead waves his hand dismissively and turns back into the shop.
daniel stares out towards the beach alone.
summary -> they gain freedom and escape to mexico, but their relationship is empty. there’s no polite respect, but there’s no outright animosity either. it’s just….. empty.
lone wolf
daniel doesn’t say the “it’s my turn to take care of us” line (omg it was so good tho). it’s now smthg along the lines of “i won’t let you stop me here after all this”
when saying the “we made it” set of lines, he’s still happy but also boastful, ready to hold it over sean that he was right
he doesn’t cry. instead of sobbing over the death of his brother, he is more shocked bc of how unexpected it is. he still calls out for sean’s name frantically, but does not get distraught afterwards. instead of leaning onto sean’s arm like he does in canon, after it sinks in that sean’s dead, he only grimaces while sitting uncertainly in his seat
the pictures stay the same
when sitting on the beach and looking over the ocean, he is not drawing in sean’s journal. he still has a small smile on his face but we also see him taking swigs of the beer can(?) here instead of later
also instead of a teardrop tattoo, he has a tattoo of 3 dots. the teardrop has several meanings, including death of a loved one or crime affiliation. but bc a lot of players interpreted it as being a tear for sean, then i think it’s preferable to just not have it in the LB version at all to avoid confusion and just have him with the 3 dots to make it clear it’s solely part of the gang/crime lifestyle
(moving on) daniel heads over to sean’s memorial and it is absolutely not as decorated as it is in canon. there is only 1 candle and no plants. the brick is still there but instead of a cross, it’s just a hastily laid single wooden plank with sean’s name scribbled down it. there’s no eye patch. the only thing of sentimental value there is their dad’s lighter.
daniel doesn’t sit, he stands looking at the memorial while drinking his beer. he realizes it’s empty tho and lazily litters the can beside sean’s memorial before turning to walk off and as he does he sees the gang.
most of their interaction plays out the same, but while daniel’s walking away instead of sparing the group, it’s clear he kills them as they are all unmoving, us seeing the dude with the gun flop to the ground over daniel’s shoulder. this change is bc personally i interpreted daniel sparing them as a sortve homage to sean’s high morality in this route. as in he’ll still do what needs to be done to survive, but will try to kill as little as possible out of respect for sean’s beliefs. so being as though daniel does not value sean as much in this LB version, he doesn’t care about that and kills them without thought.
summary -> for the most part, daniel still has the relatively content life he does in canon except, going by the now bare minimum memorial and littering, he doesn’t value sean’s memory nearly as much as he does in HB. sean’s death was ofc still a shock and smthg he still remembers, but it didn’t crush him like it does HB!daniel, and he honestly feels more annoyance than regret. in his LM!eyes, hes disappointed and thinks its a little stupid that sean wanted to switch gears at the border like that. he doesn’t hate him tho, he just sees sean as a disappointing memory.
parting ways
at the border daniel still cries, but instead of saying sorry to sean he says “i can’t do this sean. i have to go”, making it extra clear he’s not crying bc it’s the end, he’s crying bc of the damage he does not want to do.
he still says the “i hope you’ll be happy” line, but instead of being genuine it’s now full of disappointment with a twinge of bitterness
you know that quick angry facial expression he has before he’s walked off by the cops? WELL HOWDY IT DEFINITELY STAYS
the picture collage still shows him having a relatively happy upbringing with stephen, claire, and chris
when he’s on the phone at the reynolds’ and claire comes up to him, he’s still smiling and content. when he gets the letter with no sender name, his smile drops after taking the pic out and realizing who it’s from. the player doesn’t see yet tho. emphasis on 1 pic bc it’s not several like it is in canon/HB.
daniel rolls his eyes and with his power tosses the envelope & photo card (no sand btw) across the room so they land on a distant table. the camera zooms in on them and we finally see it’s of sean in mexico.
when claire comes back into the room, she halts seeing the mail and picks them up, glancing between them and daniel regretfully before sitting down
we go back to daniel and with arms crossed, he glances out at the tree in the yard for a brief moment before walking away
the scene stays focused on the tree and we still zoom out to the Wolf Brothers carving, except it has a not-recent slash cut through it
summary -> daniel gets a childhood in america and sean gets his freedom in mexico, but their relationship is destroyed. daniel doesn’t approve of sean’s final decision at all and holds little to no respect for him. sean sends the post card bc, like in redemption, he still wishes to hold some kind of relationship, but he doesnt try all that hard and doesn’t miss daniel that much to send several pics and a chunk of sand.
and so these were some of my ideas for low brotherhood endings! i tried to put them in order from most positive (minute respect) to most negative (outright disdain). i’d love to hear thoughts on this or if anyone wants to add to these, then that’s fine to! just don’t break my heart pls
#lexi plays lis2#life is strange 2#surprisingly my variations to the LW ending hurt the least#still messed up but my redemption & blood brothers tweaks just feel cold#and the parting ways one…. :(#lis2#lis 2
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So um. I saw the dialing thing and the line “never speak of this again” with Scar and Mumbo or smth? I dunno I just really liked their dynamic together in their recent eps and I’m super interested in what you’d do with this :D
i couldn't resist the urge to write some fluff with these idiots. based in a future where mumbo's base is fully operational, here's ~1.7k words of mumbo & scar desperately trying to share their single braincell. i hope you enjoy !!
Of all the stupid things Mumbo has done this season, he did not expect getting trapped in his own base to join that list. But, here he is, in his pitch black storage room, in a smaller yet cobblestone and dirt shelter. Trapped for the foreseeable future as he frantically scrolls through his communicator to see if any other hermits are online. It's embarrassing. Absolutely and utterly embarrassing. And the worst thing is, he should have been able to see it coming!
There are reasons he's part of the one braincell squad. Several, in fact, but this moment has to be up there in his top ten.
On the other side of the wall, a zombie groans too close for comfort. He's sitting on grassy ground in a one block space, with only the light of his communicator for comfort. His stuff is going to de-spawn at this rate. This is terrible. Why is nobody else online? Usually there's at least a few others around at this time of day!
<GoodTimeWithScar joined the game>
Ah. Mumbo's not sure if he should be relieved or kiss his items goodbye. Maybe both. He sighs, fingers already moving to send a message.
<MumboJumbo> scar
<GoodTimeWithScar> Mumbo! Good morning!
<MumboJumbo> i need your help
<GoodTimeWithScar> Oh?
<MumboJumbo> could you come to my base? with a golden apple please?
<MumboJumbo> i promise i will pay you back but im in a bit of a pickle
<GoodTimeWithScar> The great Mumbo needs my help?
<GoodTimeWithScar> What do you even need a golden apple for? Just a normal one, right?
<MumboJumbo> second question, yes
<MumboJumbo> first question, my base died with me trapped in my storage room and it needs feeding to revive it
<GoodTimeWithScar> You know maybe I shouldn't have asked.
<GoodTimeWithScar> I'm on my way. Call?
<MumboJumbo> thatll work.
Mumbo leans his head against cobble, navigating through Scar's contact until he's able to find the call icon. He takes a deep breath, thankful for the good connection across the server. What would he do if he couldn't contact anybody down here? Cry, probably. Die a lot. His communicator dials, then rings for two seconds. Two seconds too long, if you ask him.
"Mumbo!" Scar's voice is accompanied by the explosion of a rocket, wind crackling through the call. Mumbo sighs in relief.
"Scar you are a... sound for sore ears?" Scar laughs, and Mumbo can't help a small giggle in response. He moves to his headphones, hoping to block out the mobs filling his storage room. Why did he think this was a good idea for a base?
"Okay, Mumbo, you're going to have to guide me through what I need to do here." It's strange to hear Scar so straight forward, honestly. His voice still holds that light-hearted note in it, it'll be dark day when Scar loses that.
"Right, okay." Mumbo takes a deep breath, picturing his base in his mind. What's the most Scar-proof way he can explain this? Oh, if Scar dies as well- "So, on the outside of my base, there should be these big towers of redstone lamps, right? They'll all be off right now. But, near the bottom, there should be a chest. You put the golden apple in there."
"Ah, in the like. Big blocks of four?" Mumbo claps, before wincing at how loud that probably was over the microphone.
"Yes! That! Can you see a chest at the bottom?" Mumbo listens closely to the burst of a rocket, the sound of feet stumbling on the ground. He holds his breath, waiting for the confirmation that this situation might finally be over.
"I see it!" His body sags with the release of air. "Okay, uh, I've put the apple in." Mumbo listens closely, taking out a headphone. Distantly, underneath all the mobs, he hears pistons, a familiar heartbeat starting up. If he sinks down any further he's going to become a puddle. "The lights are coming on!"
"Okay-" Mumbo's hands wave in front of him as he speaks "-Go to the centre of my base, there should be nether portals and a massive hole leading downwards." The sounds of movement, footsteps echoing on the walls.
"What the heck, Mumbo, how many mobs do you have down there?" Mumbo sighs, closing his eyes. They're so close.
"Are all of the lights on?" He checks.
"Well, it's lit up. I can see your chests, and I think that's your stuff? Jeez, if I knew I was going to need to fight I would've been more prepared."
"How bad is it?" The high hum from Scar is a pretty good answer.
"Could be better." He hears a block move, followed by Scar telling him, "Alright, I've set my spawn. I'm gonna try to snipe them." Mumbo leans forward, awkwardly manoeuvring so he can break a dirt block against the ground. Light floods into the one block space. He can see the feet of mobs wandering between tall grass. In the distance, there's a clang of an arrow finding a skeleton. He breathes out, wincing at the ache as he pushes up from that position. He's too tall for this.
He thinks he remembers where his stuff was. If the coast is clear, he might be able to run for it and duck back in here. Get his sword equipped, elytra on, and things will be fine! He could salvage some of his dignity. Hopefully. Probably not.
"Scar?" He asks, "Could you tell me if the coast is clear so I can grab my stuff?" It takes a second to get a reply, marked by the ding of a successful hit.
"I can do that." Scar sounds distracted, focused. "Wait- oh, nononono-" Mumbo's communicator dings. He doesn't need to look to know what message will greet him.
<GoodTimeWithScar fell to his death trying to escape a skeleton>
"So, uh, Mumbo. We might have a bit of a situation." Mumbo buries his face into his hands. He twists his body down again to get an idea of how many mobs are left. Counting the number of feet and shadows he can see, it's not looking good.
"Yeah, we certainly might." His voice is high, stressed laughter escaping him with his face pressed into the dirt. "What do we do now!" Scar's bubbling giggles are accompanied by the scramble of feet across stone.
"Um, die a bunch?" Scar suggests. Mumbo's arms give up and he falls into a heap. His shoulders shake with his own giggles, the two in harmony over the call.
"Maybe it's a good thing nobody else is on."
Scar has to wait for his laughter to die down to speak, "I bet I'll die less than you." Mumbo smirks.
"You're on."
-
About half an hour later, Mumbo is sorting his stuff whilst Scar scrolls through their death messages. He's bruised all over, has collected a few scratches from loose arrows, but it looks like all of his items are here. This has gone better than he expected. He still wants to crawl into bed and never get out again.
"You know, I'm pretty sure I've won," Scar announces, looking up from his communicator with a pleased grin. Mumbo makes a noise, pulling up his own screen.
"Absolutely not. There's no way, you died so many times!"
"Yeah, but I died eight times. You died ten." Honestly, he's probably right. Mumbo lost track after death three. Everything blurred into a mess of sprinting off the bed to get his items, picking up half of them, maybe getting a swing or two, dying. And then repeat that apparently ten times.
He sighs as he finishes counting up the deaths. Scar did indeed win. He puts the last of his items in the right slots, leaving the rest to the sorting system. Finding his bed, he flops onto it. Scar is sitting on the stone centre beaming at him. The cut on his forehead is barely healing up, a bruise on his cheek.
"No, no. I want to know exactly how you ended up in this position." He's leaning forward, smug curiousity on every inch of his expression. Mumbo shuts his eyes, whining at him.
Mumbo lifts his hand, gesturing towards his chests, "I should have potions in here somewhere, if you want one." Scar giggles, shaking his head.
"Do you have to?"
"I want to know why I died eight times, Mumbo!"
"You're going to laugh."
"That's the plan." Mumbo shakes his head, rolling around so he can sit on the bed. Scar is waiting patiently, even crossing his legs like he's expecting a bedtime story.
"I made my base alive?" Mumbo explains, not sure why he's questioning himself. He did the redstone and everything. "And, as it gets unhappier, more things close off."
"Including your storage room?" Scar asks, clear amusement in his voice. Mumbo finally breaks into a giggle, falling onto his knees.
"I thought it was a good idea at the time!" He exclaims. "It stops sorting items, the lights go out, and then it locks itself down!"
"With you in it."
"I forgot Xisuma was working in the area!" His groan gets mixed with a laugh. "Oh, I am such an idiot."
"How about we agree to never speak of this again?" Scar suggests. Mumbo's halfway through nodding when Scar adds, "For a few diamonds?" Mumbo bursts into surprised laughter, quickly dissolving into giggles.
"You know what, you deserve them after this." Scar laughs.
"Maybe I'll have to die for people more often," he teases, watching Mumbo as he heads to his diamond chest.
"I wouldn't advise it personally." Mumbo looks over his shoulder at him. "That's how Grian gets you."
"Mm, very true." Scar takes in the storage room again, pocketing the diamonds Mumbo offers him. "Do you think you could show me some of the redstone behind this place? I am absolutely fascinated by how you managed to make such a counterproductive system."
"Well, you know I'll never miss an opportunity to show off my redstone." Scar takes the hand Mumbo offers him, smiling.
-
It's an hour or so later. Mumbo is showing off how he sends the signal between floors when their communicators beep.
<xisumavoid> should I be concerned about the number of deaths in the log?
They share a look and laugh.
#hermitcraft#mumbojumbo#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#my writing#ask#anonymous#i hope you enjoyed anon !!!!#my requests do remain open#this was a lot of fun to write. v silly.
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The reaction was really interesting. I agreed with a lot of Bright’s point and it was nice to see a different perspective. I really wish they had showed it in the show. You can tell Bright is really attached to Sarawat and it hurts his heart to see the pain. It also showed me that the finale could have been loads better with a few cute scenes and a proper discussion. This is what Bright was talking about. At the end of the day it was the lack of communication.
Ahh I loved that reaction video and I loved seeing Bright talking about Sarawat’s point of view. I’m sure one of the reasons they bought him was the amount of shit he was getting from some people. This however also showed me what the show lacked. Though I loved 2gether.. most of the time we saw things were Tine’s perspective. It would have really been good to see it from Sarawat’s perspective in the last episode. You can also see Bright’s frustration at times with how they portrayed Sarawat.
I assume you watching the reaction video atm! Let me say this boy gives me heart attacks like how thoughtful he is and wants to explain sarawat’s every move since episode 12 and why he acted the way he acted. I felt like he kept it inside for so long that it needed to be spoken out like when he wanted to see a reaction from P’Jennie how he looked away and then right back at her. He was so stressed and on the edge the whole time! How he repeatedly said he’s sorry for Sarawat cause he knows that everyone was sorry for Tine but didn’t get to see/understand his side of version. He also zoned out in a couple of scenes like this boy has sooo many emotions and it feels it’s too overwhelming for him(I feel that at least). I’m so grateful that Bright exists and talk about loving a man and to feel love so freely!! He could’ve said so much in the end but instead it was more like an apology for hurting Tine and how his character works. He understands Sarawat so much. I’ll cry. I didn’t thought my opinion would be that long... he’s speaking so enthusiastically about Sarawat and what his character taught him. This boy is really a blessing for the 2gether + lgbt+ community I love him he’s a child like a babie :((
Bright just wants to smooch his co-star but the universe won’t let him.
hiii anons!!! i’m gonna combine all of your asks into one bc we’re all essentially talking about the same thing.
yeah. so. the ep 13 reaction video. lets talk about it.
firstly, i ... it will never cease to astound me just how much bright loves sarawat? he knows him with every fibre of himself. he knows sarawat right down to the tendon and bone of him. like. bright’s taken so much time out to character study sarawat, get into his psyche and mind and heart. and. i hate novel! sarawat, but, bright’s taken that character, and made it his own, completely transforming him. and that takes so much understanding and commitment and passion. truly, we don’t deserve bright. we really don’t. and i am so thankful we got bright to play sarawat. no body else could have done sarawat better than bright. so much so that like .... they both overlap, bright and sarawat. sometimes its hard to distinguish where sarawat ends and bright begins.
and like some of yall said, i think it was a very clever ... move (?) ... to star bright to react to ep 13, solo, without win. bc, like yall mentioned, and like im gonna dwell on now: 2gether was entirely from tine’s perspective. it reminds me a bit of skam, in that way, that ... ya know even tho i’ve watched skam and i should KNOW this, but i still forget just how POWERFUL perspectives are. and how much they influence your way of thinking. i touched upon this after ep 12, but now after watching bright react to the whole of ep 13, like, it comes back to that. we saw everything through tine’s eyes. and so, it felt like, sarawat’s side needed to be justified. but it could never be done on the show bc the show was about tine’s perspective. and the only way it could have been done, is if they both would have talked.
which brings me onto my next point, that bright mentions - the biggest barrier and fault was they both don’t know how to talk. i touched upon this just yday actually, how sarawat is someone who doesn’t know how to talk, he’s more of a do-er (like bright said), whereas tine is someone who overthinks himself to the point of sickness and anxiety and so he doesn’t know how to voice that out, and like bright said, tine is someone who is EXTREMELY obedient - if someone says something to him to do, tine will go along and do that and won’t say no to them. which means that tine himself has had very little experience of going with his gut and how he feels, and when he comes face to face in a situation like that, it becomes Very overwhelming for him.
so, it was really clever to have bright on, solo, to explain everything from his and sarawat’s perspective. especially the bit where bright was like “everytime someone flirted with tine, wat never once questioned his trust for tine or their love, he would go directly to the person in question and deal with them.” and ... ya know, that’s more easier for sarawat to do, than it is for tine, who isn’t like that at all - like bright said, tine is the more obedient one who just follows along everybody else’s suggestions and has never really used his agency to decision make for himself.
and so ... yeaah. like. people sent a LOT of verbal abuse to bright after ep 12. and bright even said he knew it would happen, bc the entire series is from tine’s perspective, he understood that from well before. so he says he was prepared, but he still didn’t come on social media that often bc he got so much verbal abuse over it.
and like, i’ve said before, just like how jennie and go said in the reaction video, that we should have got less flashbacks in the finale, and instead, we could have had a more sweeter scene. that could have been and should have been a proper, open and honest conversation between tine and sarawat, or, as bright suggested, a kiss. so, ya know, as some people were saying that maybe bright was just uncomfortable about kissng win??? no. no he wouldnt be AT ALL. it just ... never occured in the script. but yeah. i think .......... it really did get to bright - that sarawat never on the show got a chance to explain.
which honestly makes me feel like thats why half the time he would improvise as sarawat? and add in things he KNOWS sarawat would/should do bc he KNOWS the depths of his love for tine so he used those moments so smartly to show that (a sign of v v v good acting!!!). like a marriage proposal, or putting tine’s hand over his shoulder, or adding in cheek kisses. like. bright’s really gone over and beyond for sarawat and tried to show just how intensely in love wat is with tine, with the little space and room for manoeuvre that he got granted.
idk if the some of scripts were written in a rush? i mean, 2gether was the FIRST show from gmmtv to air in 2020 - if i’m correct???? - so, between november to february, the had to get everything shooted and done, but they MUST have started script writing earlier than that. idk ...
personally, i do wish we did get some more of the novel scenes in the show. like, sarawat and tine coming out to sarawat’s dad was SUCH a BEAUTIFUL scene in the novel but we never got it on the show. why? bc it was from sarawat’s perspective, not tine’s. another really nice scene, is the cinema scene where they held hands, but on the show we got a different version of it, where instead, they talked about a happy or tragic ending before tine decides to accept being wat’s boyfriend and they hug (i like that scene though, purely bc we got to see win’s crying which was !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING! and the hug was SUPER sweet!).
but yeah, it .... idk. seeing bright in that reaction video in some moments Hurt. bc .... there was so much he wanted to say but he kept it in. and he’d just glance and sigh and look down or away bc he GETS sarawat in a way i think nobody else does. and so ..... had the show had more time, or was able to cut out some scenes and replace them with other and rewrite bits, we could have gotten sarawat’s perspective, and not had the show completely butcher sarawat’s image in ep 12 the way they did, only for them to then have less than one episode, a finale no less, to save his face again, whilst also tying up every other plot at the same time.
like, bright has SO MUCH to offer as sarawat. and bright says he doesnt know about a season 2 (yet), but, ya know, if we ever got to see tine and sarawat again, i kinda wish they allow bright more freedom - bc he understands his character a lot more better than the writers do, i feel. he gets sarawat on soul deep level. so i just wish they’d give bright more freedom to be sarawat. and i have no doubt that, if that had been the case, we would have gotten a LOT more physical intimacy between tine and sarawat. i’m not mad about the lack of it, but, i’m assuming that bright would have really made sarawat be a lot more physical with tine. but at the same time, i agree with bright when he said that tine and wat are people who show their affections to one another in private - which is why i am SO ...... upset that we never got to see tine and wat ALONE in the one year later scene, bc, like i said, they WOULD have been a LOT LOT LOT more intimate then. but they weren’t alone. so they weren’t intimate. which. yeah.
but at the same time, ya know, bright’s so .... like. he gets where the hurt for tine stems from. just like how he gets sarawat’s character, he gets tine’s too. but like he said, he’s lived and breathed wat since day one - and so, i think he just really wanted a chance to explain everything from sarawat’s point of view. he really didn’t need to apologise at all, and yet he did, on behalf of wat hurting tine.
so whilst i know its just said that oh ya know bright should just write the whole of s2, i kinda wish, if we were to get one, that they writers would sit down and LISTEN to bright and win and take some input of theirs in, since, they’re the ones who KNOW their characters and play them.
but yeah, bright’s mind. his intellect. his knowing of sarawat ............. it will never cease to amaze to me just how dedicated he was at an emotional and psychological level to play sarawat.
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HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫
HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333
HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)
YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤
CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW
SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗
12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU
HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)
FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS
LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️💆♀️
YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨
NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖
OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺
AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO
AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.
BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫
FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((
that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭
LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT S H O O K ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????
OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST.
YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭
AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33
AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((
AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine
AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌
GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL
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A couple of disjointed notes on jjk designs
Along with female characters having you know personalities, motivations and arcs they also have very nice and non sexualized designs. Like its been so long since i saw so many female characters non of which felt like they were dressed up a certain way for the audiences sake. Like we got so many! We got five known girls out of just students so far and they all have varied designs in the way they wear their uniform and all of them seem to speak more about their personal sense of style and aesthetics rather than being made with horny teenage boy in mind. Like Maki has the shortest dress but she never once feels sexualized in it, its really great.
N like i didnt fully expect this because i remember watching the first ep and seeing yujis classmate get groped by a curse n sitting there like ah :) anime. But i think this was something that was on its way out of geges artstyle even then (with exception of meimeis brand new almost tit shot but meimei already makes me uber uncomfy so thats not out of line considering we barely see anything). Like in the prequel we also see a woman get groped by a curse n maki isnt wearing her hhh whats the english word stockings? So her legs are more bare but even then we dont ever see like anything we arent supposed to even tho she like does splits n stuff, mad impressive. So that leaves to me an impression that even back then Gege was hhh about this sort of stuff n maybe did it here or there cuz 'this is how shonen is done' but fortunatly decided to completely drop it by the time Nobara joined the team n honestly mad props cuz its rare that a manga makes me feel so comfortable about liking female characters, like off the top of my head id name nozaki kun n ouran and have beastars balance on that line sorta, its just so rare, especially in anime. N as a woman its so much easier to relate and love the female cast when they arent constantly being presented as blow up sex dolls. Its just really refreshing n really good n god bless geges soul for putting miwa in a suit to joy of every lesbian ever bls give her a scythe next BLS.
On a slightly different note, Momos anime design....YIKES. Like i think the anime so far did a p good job with colors, as far as im aware they changed toges color scheme p much entierly n he looks great, yuji has this dusty pink that looks real nice n maki has this dark green that looks very good. Miwa is sitting on a line for me tbh like she looks ok but i do think her hair color should have been idk like a little less pure blue? Little less saturated? Idk art lingo, but for me shes sitting on a line of 'she looks ok but ciuld have been better'. Like its weird in the op she looks nicer, the lighting gives her hair this silver-whitey feel that works very well for her but then in the anime her hair is just a tad bit too bright blue for me, still digestible tho.
Momo in my humble opinion looks like a disaster n im not just saying that cuz for some reason i thought her hair was sorta dusty pink like yujis. Like her hair is just so...bright. its this weird lemoney yellow that is such an eyesore n distracts me whenever i see a group photo, likw my eyes immidietly fly to her she sticks out like a sore thumb between everyone else with more natural looking/ better made unnstural colors. Like maybe if they went with a darker or more natural looking blonde??? Idk. Her hair is very bright n her face is the sort of pinkish pale n the two colors together seem to at the same time clash n melt into each other where at the same time the outline between her face n hair doesnt seem clear n they both just scream at you. Ill probably get used to it as the anime goes on but rn the prevailing feeling is '...is it too late to fix that?'
Oh also gojos eyes have been bothering me less so i think i got used to them after all, but mad props to both gege n the mappa (it botheres me more in anime cuz also color) to be able to convey a feeling of an ultimate top of the chain predator through eyes alone like SKILL. i think they also bother me cuz without his blindfold gojo just looks like a completely different character to me like if you showed me the two pics of him before i watched/read jjk i would probs say those are brothers not the same person. In conclusion im basically like a baby who starts crying when her dad shaves off his beared cuz she cant recognize him anymore.
That ends my notes on design for now
XD Lucy, I’m so glad you’ve fallen in love with JJK like I have.
It’s a really interesting manga and I can’t wait for the anime to animate everying we’ve seen from the manga so far (it’ll hurt so good T-T). I especially love the girls designs because they just feel so much more... natural, then most female designs you get in anime. They feel like girls (also, can I just say how much I love how excited Nobara was to get a tracksuit of all things. It’s not something you really see in manga/anime and yet a girl that gets excited over comfy clothes is so much real to me XD).
I have similar feelings about Miwa’s hair. It’s way too bright in comparison to the rest of the anime designs, they should have dimmed it or something, she just stands out in a way that she shouldn’t have (though I do admit that I like the colour of blue... I’m so conflicted). And I don’t really mind Momo’s hair too much though I do think it could have been better colour of blonde (JJK using bright colours even though it’s such a heart-breaking anime T-T).
Gege and Mappa really did do a great job though T-T
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hey, i really liked your posts about ep12, it helped me a lot to put things into perspective. i was wondering if you could share your thoughts on the 2gether finale as well, coz right now i just wanna cry im so disappointed with it =(
Aww, thank you, anon. <3
Ok so my thoughts on the finale are kind of all over the place but I’ll try to explain as best as I can and hopefully it’s gonna make sense.
Like I said, in my original post I dont love the ep but I dont hate it either. I suppose I fall somewhere in the middle. I enjoyed a lot of it - seeing all the couples progress and be happy together, Man/Type especially were just so adorable, Mil and Phukong starting to build something with each other (lil bro using Sarawat’s pick up line was a really nice touch, love that), Mil being an all around awesome supportive friend to BOTH Tine and Wat?? We love to see it. The way he turned up at the football field where Wat was being his angsty self and literally kicked his butt into taking action - *chef’s kiss*
Him and Fong are now the parents of the baby gays I dont make the rules.
Wat’s confession on stage and his song that he literally named after Tine and when he said he never confessed to Pam because he didnt know what love was before he met Tine - perfection. Absolute perfection. I’m here for it.
And Tine’s heartbreak was so well done too, I just felt so much for him.
Again, as I said, the whole thing with Pam didnt turned out exactly as I had hoped but it wasnt the worst case scenario either so I’ll take it. I’d rather have Pam making a mistake and realising it and backing off while assuring Tine that Wat really does love HIM and even though she tried Pam didnt stand a chance because it’s always gonna be Tine for Sarawat and she understands that now over her being an actual bitch who keeps trying to seperate them and uses the situation to her advantage. I mean they could have gone that way too - Pam didnt have to give Tine that recording or to tell him how Wat changed after meeting him but she did, I think, as her own way of apologizing for what she’d done. So yeah, overall, I’m fine with this.
ALSO NOBODY DIED SO THAT’S A BIG PLUS.
(History 3 MODC can’t relate)
ANYWAY, so those are the positives for me. Which as it turns out is most of the episode yay! Now onto what wasnt quite so positive.
My main issue with this episode is the resolution to Wat and Tine’s conflict. Mainly, there really... wasnt one. And I’m not talking about the physical intimacy thing, I’ll touch on that later but more importantly for the ending - the emotional intimacy. None of the problems they had were properly addressed. Tine’s insecurities were rooted so deeply that despite Wat spending 12 EPISODES doing anything and everything to show his love and adoration, Tine still couldnt really believe it. And that’s not gonna be resolved with a simple recording.
And on the other hand, can you image how all of this would make Sarawat feel? Like no matter what he does, no matter how much of himself he gives to Tine, his boyfriend still would find it easier to believe that Wat is just using him as a replacement for someone else. That’s gonna fuck with his head even if Tine came back. I really really wished they had talked at least a little about these things.
Like maybe if we didnt have half of the episode filled with pointless flashbacks there could have been time to actually talk... (tbh, part of me kind of wonders if they purposefully put in so many flashbacks to fill in the air time so they wouldnt HAVE to write those scenes which leaves me ?????).
I think I mentioned this too in the other post, but the Wat/Tine reunion echoes beat for beat the Fighter/Tutor reunion with all its issues but while WhyRU has a reason for why things turned out like that, here I just... I dont know what could have been the reason for 2gether’s writers? Unless they also couldnt film everything they wanted...
And then there’s the... “high-five controversy”, let’s call it and again I find myself in the middle of the argument. I stand by what I’ve said before about how I feel about the way they handled physical intimacy between the characters - yes, objectively and critically speaking, I’m not here for writers/directors/channel/whoever trying to censor the physical intimacy of an established couple. There is nothing wrong with two partners wanting to kiss/cuddle/have sex/etc. Sex isnt something dirty (I mean it can be depending on what you’re writing BUT THAT’S A DIFFERENT GENRE OK, we are not talking about smutty fic here cough cough) and shameful that “pure” people shouldnt be enjoying (lovely post on the topic here I was just thinking about it last night). And it’s about time show creators got with the programme, ESPECIALLY when it comes to non-straight couples.
As of ep13 it’s clear to me that 2gether went through some serious censorship - lots of people have talked about how it’s a thing that they do on this particular channel and maybe that’s all it is, I dont know. I dont want to speculate what’s been going on behind the scenes since I dont have any idea and sadly I dont think the writers will ever be willing to talk about it. I’d LOVE to hear their throughts on this matter tbh and why they decided to do things this way.
So on an objective level, this is bullshit. Subjectively, and this is where my personal opinion comes in, I wasnt as bothered by this as I normally would be because I’ve been enjoying all the other aspects of the relationship that the show successfully built up and prtrayed on screen. Does that make sense?
Specifically about the finale, though, I agree with the complains. Part of why the reunion felt so underwhelming and disappointing, I think, was not only the lack of emotional intimacy but also the hella.... awkward? physical “intimacy” they showed? The scene absolutely did call for a kiss or a hug, at the very least. Instead they were standing 2 feet apart cause... they’re not gay? I really really do not understand what happened there in that scene. I’ve seen some people mention that the finale was filmed before the other episodes so the actors werent used to each other yet and honestly I can see it - watching Tine and Wat in that ending montage felt like I was watching them at the beginning of their fake dating when both were awkward and unsure of where they stood with each other rather than seeing an established in love couple coming back together after going through something tough.
So these are my thoughts on the finale. It wasnt the best one I’ve ever seen but not bad enough to ruin the rest of the show for me (and there’s NOTHING I hate more than bad endings ruining a story I’ve fallen in love with so there’s that) and I do really love this show and its characters so much. It’s hard, even impossivle to find a perfect show from start to finish and honestly I’ve come to believe that’s not as important as what you get out of it - if the show makes you happy, despite whatever writing issues it might have, that’s the most important thing, I think. And 2gether did that for me. So I’m glad I watched it.
Omg, this got so long. Again. If you’re still with me, anon, you’re a hero. I hope I was able to help you. <3
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on one hand im happy that this means there’s gonna be a lot of official content since the eps are supposedly so long that they gotta cut them in half.
youku has been pretty consistent with giving us a relatively good amount of official content. but on the other hand im always slightly concerned that by splitting up perfs, those whose perfs get aired first will have a competitive voting advantage since (as long as they do well) those kids will have a full extra day of persuading people to vote for them through their stage performance. It’s not as huge of a deal as when other shows split performances across weeks, because a whole week ahead is a much bigger advantage than one day ahead. but every day can help those who need the votes. at least akey and zhan yu got aired today.... feels bad for jin fan because he really needs the votes.
also another down side is just this show’s eps are SO LONG they’re eating up a ton of my free time LOOOL but thats how these shows always go for me... because I always end up taking like double the amount of time to watch an ep, just to pause, digest, rewatch sections that i like (sometimes multiple times), make sure i understand, etc. i feel like these shows always consume my life during the few months they’re airing so i’ll just enjoy it while I can HAH
..
anyway ep 4 starting with singapore buddies huang junrong and sun yinghao speaking english with their singapore accents!!!!! lol can totally relate to yinghao tho, like when you cant read chinese you gotta find someone to translate for you
yang chaowen with dog!!!!! i wonder if the dog really likes him LOL they seem to appear together on camera often. akey with chen junhao!! and zuo linjie!! making friends!!!
lol i feel like the group leader choice method is some sort of extended advertisement for knock off apple products lol.........
HAHAHHAHAHAH LIN MO’S VIDEO STARTING OFF ALL FORMAL AND NERVOUS AND THEN XUE EN’S CUTS HIM WITH HIM BEING STUPID. I LOVE IT. there’s two types of people. how did they not vote for xue en HAHAHAH
interesting that they picked the songs for the self-composition group ahead of time, rather than make them make the song as part of the competition (looks at produce camp... fireman is my jam but the east binhe road team ran into complications with that, so I can see why it’d be more risky to let them do that again) but lucky for zheng renyu and li chenxu tho! I’m interested in hearing their music so i dont mind, just kinda wondering what the other kids who picked composition would’ve brought to the table
oh theyre still giving yan an screen time... every time i see him im happy but then feel oof
oo zhanyu’s first stage look is just so nice oof xikan talking to lin mo but lin mo looks ded and is all eye patched up :(
LOL su er all jubilant over a sexy concept song - good luck with that
oooof this shot of jin fan’s perfect side angle
aw akey being bested by shaopeng at every match... but im so excited to see what they can do together, theyre both so good at making music!!!! the resident music makers for each of their respective groups, tyger and coreone, theyre both so talented! def shaopeng has and deserves the credit but hopefully people will see akey contributed too bc im sure the two of them really led together, being the most experienced rappers hahaha
WHOA csp opening up to qu boyu and saying he has older step brother and sister who have a different mom from him and encouraging him to just be real when writing because there will be people out there who connect with his lyrics awww hes really taking this child under is wing and teaching him from zero, hes really like a big bro taking care of him and enjoying watching him grow. im glad csp is opening up and is self reflective enough to realize that he hasnt done so enough in the past and that he should involve himself more with the others.
im happy cui shaopeng got to feature in the bts clip for his group, he deserves it and hasnt gotten much screentime relative to his talent before. im happy akey got a little time and some recognition for his skills too. honestly just happy akey FINALLY got to do a rap stage..... wish we couldve gotten more huang enyu and huang junrong but im happy they got to show off their vocals!! for being young vocals in a rap performance, their stage presence were both really good too! csp’s entrance is epic wow.
wow this is the most hyper performance ive ever seeeen wow im so happy for akey because we know how long hes been waiting for a rap stage and wow csp’s leadership must be top notch to get this group to somehow be cohesive with such a not cohesive song LOL i respect that csp really respected akey’s skill and let him shine too. akey was a second c if ive ever seen one lol. they both got to shine and so did everyone else in their group, which is telling of his leadership and why this stage turned out so well that even all the teachers like jackson were so hype LOL
OOF shen bohuai and lin mo talking about how akey’s lyrics are so moving like lin mo wanted to cry and bohuai felt like he could tell akey’s been through a lot
lol xikan and bohuai being all tough and lin mo being like lol i feel the pressure. shaopeng smiling like a proud parent when boyu gets good comments c: oof rip akey and shaopeng’s votes tho :c
lin ran’s look tho LOL but zhan yu’s is so questionable?? why is he in this group ?? LOL but i guess its his turn to do something cutesy. mannnn why does zhan yu look like hes surrounded by children but hes not even that much older//?? hahahha ooooo is this the center zhan yu of legend?? ?hahahah yayyy hopefully more people will notice him! you know when i heard zhan yu was gonna be center, this was not the type of song i was imagining, but hey if it takes a cutesy happy song and a bunch of little kids around to get zhan yu a chance to be center, ill take it! i wish they’d show us some practice footage?? im confused why there isnt any?? i think sun boran’s stage presence is good! zhan yu’s voice so powerful yess somehow he managed to show off different aspects of his vocal skills in this very plain song LOL im surprised lin ran didnt stand out a lot but when they pointed out that he purposefully put himself in the back to protect his team members i think that makes sense bc he knows being cute isn’t going to be able to win them as many votes but if the less popular kids in his group dont get votes, its a lot more devastating for them than for himself. lin ran didnt want this song and he didnt want to be cute but he really didnt want kids to suffer from choosing his group. lin ran has a cute image but i appreciate that this time we got to see a more serious side of him. isnt it ridiculous that theyve literally trashed zuo qibo and lin mo about being old but then literally i didnt realize until now sun yinghao is the oldest??? (he looks really young wow and so tiny aw) but also like they never bring up akey being old either?? some sort of weird bias going on... but i mean good for yinghao and akey lol
but aw im glad theyre giving yinghao some attention... 10 years and starting off with jackson? oof...
ayy zhan yu getting the most votes!!
kou cong being older bro to zlj but also ultimate mentor to cxh aw yay for him getting some recognition from the judges and jin fan supporting him too heheh but it says a lot that he recognizes cxh’s efforts and wanted to put in his own effort to help him
i wonder if them giving zlj less audience votes is an elaborate scheme to get him more pity votes from the general public lol.... well im excited to see the rest of the stages tomorrow!
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3x15 live thoughts/reaction
spoilers after the cut!!!
-tyrus + kira in the previously on here we fuckn go
-i love their family dynamic so much when theyre not having drama (or actively ignoring their drama im not picky)
-oh shit are we starting here
-Do Not Like
-ooh that parallel is quite the throwback with the compliment thing
-OH SHIT
-OH SHIIIIIIT
-oh no
-oh noooo
-TJ, honey,,
-i just want them to be happy is that too much to ask
-oop, foreshadowing with the ankle, careful buffy
-jonah is such a mood all the time
-oh my god. the snowglobe. tell me why im crying.
-fuck that is so sweet oh god
-cyrus honey your crush is real obvious right now
-honestly though we deserve buffy helping cyrus with boys we like this we just dont like where its leading
-oh guarded TJ is back
-he feels so bad noo
-oh, cyrus :((
-i am big sad
-oh shiiiiit a lookback? not like this
-fkjdkf jonah youre a mess
-this cop is not fuckin around
-there does not feel like theres enough time left in this ep
-i was right there is not
-do we really end here???
-welp.
takeaways:
that sure was. an episode. real talk i will like it much better when all is said and done and im not left with SADNESS. ignoring tyrus for a hot sec, i liked the wasteful clothing storyline and i love seeing the gang all together im just surprised we didn’t get any closure on it. like it looks like theres enough going on next week that there wont be a ton of time to dwell on this for long but they’re in jail?? which sorta needs to be addressed before things proceed. the bex and cece thing made me sad too cause their relationship has grown so much but its all back to square one (or worse than? last time bex requested a single compliment she at least got one on her makeup) but i do like that the one thing they can always find common ground on is making sure andi’s okay. and that snowglobe?? who gave them the right? that hurt me. anyways, back to the tyrus. uh, ouch? poor TJ doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong and he’s still getting manipulated and i want to give him the biggest hug. speaking of people i want to hug, cyrus :((( poor thing. i loved (mostly. did not love cyrus being afraid that tj wouldnt want to see him) the little moment buffy and cyrus had where she was helping him text tj and he was so flustered over going to see him. crush buddies! i always wanted buffy to be involved in the tyrus storyline so that was nice until it wasnt. and then the swings :( tj felt so bad and the cyrus. i want to hug him. and the lookback! which i nearly missed cause i was so busy being sad. im trying really hard to be coherent here and i am doing a Bad Job which is a representation of my feelings right now. main takeaway: glad that we know both crushes now, and while im sure i will appreciate the angst when all is said and done i would like to be through with the angst now please and thank.
#andi mack#am spoilers#andi mack spoilers#sigh#i knew this was coming and im still sad#brighter days ahead though!#theyre gonna get through this and well all be happy!#christine talks
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The Walking Dead: Final Season; Take us Back thoughts (major spoilers)
please let me know your thoughts!
So I plan on writing an actual in depth review sometime later but I just wanted to write down my thoughts on the episode with what i loved about it and what i think could of been improved or changed! Its been 2 days since Take us Back came out so I’ve had time to better process things.
pros:
-the narration by AJ at the start is really neat and made me feel both scared and worried especially when he said “I don’t think she’s always doing the right thing, we’ve been doing a lot of bad things to save our friends..” its a spicy start to the episode
-most of the action sequences ESPECIALLY THE BARN SCENE are really cool this episode!
-the james scene in the cave is really wack and i love it a lot! i know a lot of people liked angry james near the end of ep 3, well here’s 10 minutes of it! but really the scene was intense all around, i used to really dislike james in the scene but i have grown to understand why he acts this way, although some shots like that creepy smile is?? questionable haha.. the other branch where james is dead is intense aswell too! good job on this scene!
-the talk in the woods with violet/louis is really nice, its much needed after all the drama that just happened! the scenes made me laugh a lot too like “texas 2″ or “thanks dad!” i love these characters so much guys.
-WOWOW minerva and the bridge scene is really great!! i felt really bad for her its so tragic. but yeah the way she sings, limping and bitten everywhere but still pushing through is so messed up and terrifying. she looked so scary and i love the gore to it, truly is a horrific moment! however one thing, during the fight it seems like the walkers never seem to make it across the truck to you so you can literally just chill hidden the whole time..
-tenn’s death: i think it was handled quite well, its a very shocking moment, and very very sad.. and louis and ESPECIALLY violet’s reaction to it are really heartbreaking! voice acting was amazing. its even more messed up when minnie is happy about this (made me think of carol peletier from the comics) i also like how his death is not forgotten at the end too and its brought up. i do have some things to say about tenn’s character in general though../contrary i also enjoy what they do with him if he is kept alive, its a very heartwarming moment!
-thinking about it just makes me teary but the scenes where clem gets bit and is slowly starting to accept it once they get to the barn is just so scary and depressing. i’m not gonna get too much into it but the barn scene is really great and the music and switching between clem and AJ is even more alarming, making the player think its over and AJ is taking the torch. also “gotcha” as clem bops aj’s nose made me crumble STOP
-ranch flashback is really underappreciated but yeah its really great and quite traumatic. the burn victim gave me chills and Eddie’s short cameo is great! aj and clem’s moment in the car is really sweet.. and made me cry even more. i also thought the placement of the scene is perfect.
-THE ENDING: So yeah apparently quite a few are mad about the ending but honestly I say piss off to those people, i thought the ending is a really great end to clem’s journey! i had a feeling clem would make it but prior to the scene i really thought she was dead. when i heard her speak i YELLED, got up, woke up my family and hugged my mom, i’m serious! Clem is a badass whom we’ve ventured with for YEARS, she fucking deserves the happy ending and i just get confused with those who wanted her to die?? like wtf; also the take us back scene and the dinner is just wonderful thank you so much to the team. i loved it all. also i love how aj can interact with all the collectibles what a treat! i love how aj’s thoughts were all jumbled too he’s fun to play as!
TL;DR: emotional moments are well done, ending is near perfect, visuals, colors, cinematography, voice acting and music are all great! also thank u for all the romantic moments
cons:
-im mixed about lilly’s portrayal this season. i expected more i guess. they kinda built her up to be kinda redeemable but at the same time its lilly.. i got kinda mad at first when you only see her for a minute! compared to james who gets more than 10 minutes of screentime. but i think i’ve grown to accept it. the way she floats away like a fucking loser is what she deserves. in a way i think its better to have her alive so she can live with all the horrible shit she’s done. and you can sorta tell she feels somewhat bad about it. BUT.. at the same time i think she’ll never learn which just makes me mad i let her get away on my main. what do you guys think of her? because at this point idk how to feel but its certainly not great.
-i don’t like the way captured violet and louis got over their trauma so easily. Louis was visibly traumatized and shaken in the cell and soon after he’s just seen smiling. Violet feels abandoned and betrayed but soon after she’s just like “uhhh about what i said in the cell...” I think it would of been better to save that line for the ending only so violet has more time to think and heal. and while it was really sweet to see louis still being flirty and sweet i can’t help but feel there should of been an extra scene where their traumas are discussed better.
-Violet and Louis’ deaths are not good. the problem with their deaths is that they don’t feel important, they feel like a game over death! they get eaten for 6 seconds, clementine yells “NOOOO” and AJ gets mad and slaps tenn. Then they run. I think the emphasis on their deaths and a better reaction would improve the scene a lot. Its especially frustrating if Clementine has a close or romantic relationship to these characters. there is no difference in reaction at all. She doesn’t even cry. This is why so many people restarted the episode! As cute and lovable Tenn is, the player has spent many more scenes interacting with Violet and Louis (the most important characters of the season besides AJ and Clem). Its sucks but I understand why people would wanna restart and save their lover or best friend. At the end you get a conversation with AJ and Tenn about their death (which i thought wasn’t so bad) but nothing with Clem. We get a short shot of the grave with a drawing and nothing else. I really didn’t like that.. It felt like something was really missing. Its too bad because ya know i really like the outcome if Tenn lives but i always find myself to rather have my SO live instead as bad as it sounds.. What do you guys think?
-i feel like certain characters like mitch, aasim and omar etc. could of had more chances to shine. Mitch shines in episode 2 and dies but that’s it. I wish in episode 1 he had more screentime.. Its really too bad since he’s big favorite of mine. Aasim aswell was interesting in ep 1 and 2 but unfortunately barely got any lines in ep 3 and 4. christ’s sake omar of all people had more lines than aasim in ep 4! im very glad he got mentioned many times and romances ruby but i think more lines from him would of been nice. idk like maybe have louis tease him about ruby at the table.. something!
-i thought the pacing and length of the episode was a little strange. this episode significantly feels shorter than the others. obviously it depends on your play style but from what i noticed this episode is about 30 minutes shorter than the others. i feel like some extra scenes could of been put in to fix some character development issues and such.
TL;DR: character development is flawed in some spots, pacing and length issues can be bothersome
i’ll have more to say another time but i really enjoyed this episode and i think its a great end to clementine’s journey! i know the whole caravan thing is left to be ambiguous so i think it would be so cool to have a little dlc. i’d definitely buy it. i recommend getting this season and instead of just watching let’s plays i hope some can invest in an actual copy, the team really deserves a profit! this entire season has been very solid and its my favorite of the series! not sure which episode is my favorite yet but they’re definitely all worth playing!
#twdg#the walking dead#twdg spoilers#the final season#the walking dead game#twdg clementine#twdg aj#twdg louis#twdg violet
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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever
because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE
but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale
but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly
speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it
okay commence the liveblog:
love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe
it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly
EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful
although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF
lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG
like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it
love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”
i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season
ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen
if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade
in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......
we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.
i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole
“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it
I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly
my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle
merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too
“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t
love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad
up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP
for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”
for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK
WE
ARE
SO
BLESSED
i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD
repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF
was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey
uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)
i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL
“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was
and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.
you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.
“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”
you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther
i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)
but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck
between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now
and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE
and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2
ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT
me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc
actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth
percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell
there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it
absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good
can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur
the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow
there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”
and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH
if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that
i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend
multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy
“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL
merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine
love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD
do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync
here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.
you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable
until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO
we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.
leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,
love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship
i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left
arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together
merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud
honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it
splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??
love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP
uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.
seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O
just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat
“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither
speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks
i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit
also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening
AND NOW IT’S TIME
FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE
when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER
HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING!
“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment
AND HE DID THAT
HE👏
DID👏
THAT👏
NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.
how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that
to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences
i can’t even like
like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror
i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther
it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)
he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it
and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying
merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first
i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment
THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE
okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?
arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?
IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY
my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him
i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too
tbh. i wish he had.
i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden
i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......
uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing
and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both
i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME
i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING
i’m not talking about the glove thing
i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face
and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was
#personal#merlin blogging#it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream#MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR#that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon#in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app#apparently this show is a greek tragedy now
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2018 top albums
Okay, so hopefully you read (& enjoyed listening to) my top EPs list, this one is a little longer, and hopefully a little prettier. They’re ranked 10 -> 1, with my honourable mentions up front here. I hope you enjoy at least some of the music I loved this year, and don’t find my writing unbearable. Once again, I’ve included spotify links for each album if and youtube links for my favourite tracks of each album.
honourable mentions:
alison wonderland - awake/remxies
standouts: good enough & no (umru & kid froopy remix)
This was really tough for me to place, it would have likely made it onto the top 10 list had it not been for how much I loved the remix album that accompanied this album, and including both felt like cheating. Despite her trap banger roots, Alison Wonderland manages to hit that dance/cry sweet spot over and over on this project, from the manic banger Good Enough, with her gorgeous cello backed by an anxiety inducing rising bassline, to the anxious "is it good enough!?" ringing out, to hip-hop influenced High, to the big room trap banger that is Happy Place. It's got all of that and more on the base album, and the collection of remixes that were done afterward by her contemporaries managed to even further diversify the track list, while still keeping enough of the original to be recognizable. Even if you don't like electronic music, listen to No (umru & Kid Froopy Remix) and tell me that xylophone lead isn't catchy as all hell.
ross from friends - family portrait
standout: pale blue dot
A mainstay in the lo-fi house scene, Ross From Friends released his first full length project this year, and it gave everything I had hoped. Lovely, danceable grooves, ace production, and the feeling of being transported, if momentarily, to another plane of existence. If you have even the slightest inclination towards electronic music, check out Pale Blue Dot.
joji - ballads 1
standout: rip
The transition George Miller aka Filthy Frank aka joji has made throughout his young career is pretty spectacular. From absurdist comedy to the angsty, low key R&B on this project is pretty amazing, and while he certainly exhibits a lot of similar traits to the S A D B O Y aesthetic that has taken over mainstream hip-hop the last few years, he does it with enough of his own flavour that it's hard to discount that it is his. RIP and Attention are two of the most overtly sad songs I've heard in a long time, both in lyrical content, as well as production and the slurring and gravely vocal delivery. While tracks like Can't Get Over You throw in some needed dancey beats, while still maintaining that raw emotional delivery and content that defines this project so much.
top 10:
10
jizue - room
standout: grass
I can't explain this album, I've spent the last 30 minutes attempting it, and I just can't. It's an instrumental album from Japanese group jizue that blends elements of jazz, math-rock and hardcore into...whatever this project is. I love it, but it's just the right side of complex and listenable to serve as the perfect background music, and still manage to stand on it's own. Check it out, maybe someone can explain it to me.
9
anderson .paak - oxnard
standout: brother's keeper
It took a while for Anderson .Paak to hit it big, but even back when I first heard his stuff, it was pretty apparent that it was only a matter of time before he hit it. Not only are his producer chops on display in full effect here, from rattling kicks and afro-soul influenced melodic leads, to the heavy jazz influences, all layered with a touch of 90s hip-hop. Dr. Dre helped with production and executive produced, and the influences of that era shine through heavily. Speaking of, .Paak's vocal performance is entirely different from what I had come to expect, and covers a wide array of topics, from the politically charged 6 Summers, to the sensual The Chase, that feels a lot it needs to be halfway an action scene in an 80s movie, to the savage Pusha-T feature Brother's Keeper. While .Paak himself is more a singer than rapper, his voice and flow fits the aesthetic of this project, and the brilliance of the production variety while still maintaining the feel of a cohesive project. From the all star feature list, to the frequent use of beat change-ups midway through tracks, back to front this project demands your attention.
8
rl grime - nova
standout: ucla
My first listen of this album resulted in me thinking "eh, this is just a bunch of electronic tracks", they weren't bad, but I didn't really feel it until my 3rd or 4th listen. RL Grime's ability as a producer has never been in question, and his live shows the stuff of legends. Throw into that with his yearly, highly anticipated Halloween 7 mixtape, featuring a vocal open by Shaq, he didn't need to come through with a project as diverse as this, and yet here we are. He manages to flow easily from big room trap Feel Free and Pressure, to the more housey Shrine and the emotional Atoms and the manic instrumental Rainer. It was really hard for me to pick just one favourite because of how cohesive this album has ended up feeling for me, like being taken on someone else's emotional roller coaster ride. But I've settled on the trashy, trappy R&B UCLA, where the lyrics manage to come across a little insecure, while the beat makes up for it with astounding bravado, and massive trap drops.
7
chvrches - love is dead
standout: deliverance
I've written before how vital live music events are to my enjoyment of certain genres & music acts, and if I'm being honest, this album wouldn't be on here if I hadn't had the chance to see CHVRCHES live this year at the Commodore. It's a good album, don't get me wrong, it's got all polish of their previous two albums, and even more varied song selection with the more typical synth-pop bops with Miracle and Heaven/Hell, there's a huge change up with the moodier God's Plan and the incredibly sad and moving instrumental ii. Even Get Out, one of the lead singles from this project is laced with a lot darker subject matter and musical elements. Seeing Lauren Mayberry dance under neon lights to the intro rift of Graffiti will stick in my mind for years to come, and that feeling is what this kind of music is all about.
6
soccer mommy - clean
standout: cool
My musical tastes have been diverse for as long as I can remember, but this style of grungy, lo-fi bedroom pop-rock has never really been on my radar before. That being said, Nashville native Soccer Mommy has a lot of what I look for in music, catchy hooks, lyrics brimming with emotion and someone willing to take risks. While it's undeniable that this is far from a production masterpiece, which I don't understand in 2018 honestly, the great song writing and Sophie Allison's distinctive voice and nonchalant delivery gives me that summer feeling no matter what time of the year it is. Cool is one of my most listened to songs of the year by a long shot, with it's upbeat music and sad lyrics, it sounds like what teenage regret felt like. Scorpio Rising on the other hand, covers a lot of the same topics, but it manages to do to it in a very different way, sort of in a Slow Dance On The Inside by Taking Back Sunday kinda feel.
5
rezz - certain kind of magic
standout: teleportal
Even with my list this year being highly varied, I think this might be the least approachable album on either this or my EP list. Rezz has managed to create a cult of personality around herself in a way very few electronic musicians ever manage through her phenomenal set construction, heavy emphasis on showmanship with lights and video during her live sets, and brilliant production. Add on top of that very few artists are making this style of music anywhere close to this caliber, and you end up with a dominant force of heavy basslines and dark aesthetics. If you have ever had any interest in dubstep, be it the traditional UK variant or the trashy late 2000s-era bedroom-produced bangers, you will likely love this album. It's no surprise that deadmau5 signed her in 2016 given that her style of building up layers and layers of effects and sonic elements, only to cut them all out to isolate a heavy drop or gorgeous orchestral melody is very reminiscent of the house legend himself.
4
hinds - i dont run
standout: tester
Spanish all girl quartet came out of no where for me, but once I was into their vibe, I didn't look back. They sing in English (mostly), but their accents taint all their lyrics with just a little touch exotic flavour, giving their cacophonous musical style one more element to throw into the mix. They sort of sound like a mix of The Velvet Underground, and the Strokes, with a modern pop twist, and the fact they're women making, or more accurately, fighting the transition from care free 20s, to the reality of their 30s comes through in spades. The variety of their voices, and their writing styles gives this album a distinctly personal touch, but not so much it's impossible to relate to. This album is perfect for sitting in the sun on a lazy afternoon and letting the entire project wash over you, if I had to pick just one track though I'd go with Tester, a track about navigating complex, undefined personal relationships, and coping with it however possible.
3
let's eat grandma - im all ears
standout: it's not just me
I knew that PC Music wouldn't stay off my list entirely this year, the entire label seem to be steering pop music on the whole, and the production influences from SOPHIE fly in pretty fast on the glitchy-noisey delicious mess that is Hot Pink, the opening track. They follow that up with my favourite track of the year in It's Not Just Me, with the angsty lyrics, the way they seem to just float over the top of the beat that manages to be both groovy (dig the dance moves in the music video) and still challenge the listener with complexity and a touch of cacophony. While these two 17 year old girls from some random town in the UK might only be releasing their second project, and the lyrical content is for sure written by 17 year old girls, they show a capacity for having a vision for a track and getting it across in a truly astonishing way. They manage to blend genres, topics and feelings seemingly effortlessly, and I can't get enough of it!
2
the midnight - kids
standout: america 2
The nostalgic, synth-pop, retro-wave duo The Midnight came through with an ode to the 80s and 90s, laced with modern sensibilities. Stick these tracks over some 90s action movies, and they won't feel out of place, nor will they as your cruise into the sunset of 2018. With lyrics that are wistful for the past, and aware of the fact it will never come back, they manage to make you want to groove along, while slightly pricking that part of your brain that says "hey, is there where you thought you'd be when you were 12?". The whole project is laced with news clips from the 80s and 90s, talking about how exciting, and how terrifying the future looked. It's easy to forget even in those less connected times, sometimes all you could do was blast the stereo, drive into the night, and hold onto the best parts of your past, and try and be optimistic about the future.
1
brockhampton - iridescence
standout: tonya
Brockhampton is one of those music groups that is such a cultural phenomenon, it'll inspire kids making music in their bedrooms for a long time. No hip-hop group has made such a massive impact since Wu-Tang, and we all know they ain't nuthin' to fuck with. Both the group and each member manages to display astonishing range as they move from emotional ballads like the brilliant Tonya to bangers like New Orleans, they manage to make you want to dance to the driving basslines and clever lyrics, only to snap change to the slow and deeply emotional tracks like San Marcos. From Kevin Abstract's masterminding, to Dom's undeniably amazing bars, to the dreamy Matt Champion and the angst filled bearface, it's easy to see why this album is so diverse. What's harder to understand is how cohesive they manage to blend it all together, trappy vocal effects on top of acoustic guitar, the gospel influences, it's all mashed together into perfection. Tonya was on heavy rotation this year, with it's haunting vocals, brilliant piano melodies, and the change up it's so hard not to feel the heart that went into this project.
annnnnnnnd we’re done! I hope you listened to a shit load of good music this year, and I hope some of this resonates with you. Happy Holidays, have a good New Year, roll on 2019.
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i actually just signed up for classes today and i got pretty much all the courses i wanted 🥳 i am looking forward to econ and art the most!
i was so so sad i couldn’t catch dpr’s set 😔 god la traffic is always so bad for what and i was looking forward to keshi as well but idk i was just so underwhelmed by the songs he played?? like i still enjoyed it but i think i was just disappointed bc i was hoping he’d play a song from his skeletons ep . speaking of hitc was the second time i got to see keshi live which was so surreal. that being said i’m really happy he’s getting sm more recognition he’s representing and making us viets proud!!! how close were u to the stages? i was more in the back in the first day BUT that kinda made illenium more enjoyable and i was close enough 2nd day i didn’t need to zoom in as much for joji :’)
literally not even a week after hitc i went to another concert akskdkdkf ok but this one was just absolutely insane and a completely different experience from the other shows i have ever been to since it was for a super popular rapper KAKSKDKDF me and my best friend were a double miniority being asian and girls surrounded by a bunch of non asian boys with a ton of sweat and bo 😭😭 i still had lots of fun tho like after i got out of the pit barricade and moshed outside of it. but out of all the concerts i’ve ever gone to seeing keshi back in 2019 is still the best by far i got to meet him and the opening acts take a pic w them AND one of them signed vans hehe i still have them til this day
my birthday was yesterday omg hehe me and my friends celebrated by eating out and i finally satisfied by xiao long bao cravings 🤩 we also went and got piercings too and crazy but it also happened to be my piercer’s birthday that day too 😳idk i’m an adult now but i also dont feel it kakskdkdkff
i agree with you about the all too well mv being unsettling esp when dylan and sadie were making out i was like ummmm UMMMM LMAKSKSF but ik it was done on purpose to make us uncomfortable which honestly really worked. as basic (maybe??? i am not sure tbh) as it may sound my favorites songs on red have always been red and everything has changed 😸 and its still true to now. ok i am not a fan of ed or his music at all but that song he did with taylor was just too cute especially when you watch the mv and ofc we are adding message in a bottle to it now as well into my favorites 👍 which album are you excited for to be re-recorded next? personally i am looking forward to speak now because ik im going to cry to the new ver of last kiss and back to december 🥲 - 💐 anon
aaaa omg congrats on getting all the courses you wanted, honey bee !!!! 💘 which econ are you focusing on? :o macro, micro, international, or another type? and omg art !!! what art will you be doing, sweetpea? 💞
omg i missed half of dpr because my flight kept getting delayed and eventually canceled so i had to rebook a new flight right then and there and couldn't get there in time 😭 they were sooo good live tho and i hope they come back next year 🧎🏻♀️ also yes, keshi was a bit underwhelming plus with the whole mic issue /: but i am over the moon that i actually got to see him perform live !!!!!! i love love love his music so much, and it felt like a dream to see him 🤧 and YES omg i'm glad he's getting more recognition and heck yea for the fellow viet pride !!! 💛 i was in the middle ! like not in the back but not very close to the front either so i still had to zoom in with my cam rip but it was sooo much fun 💓
oooo omg who did you go to see? oh god, the BO and sweat in raves and mosh pits 💀💀 it's unbelievable and i'm so glad we wear masks at concerts now. i'm glad you had a good time though, lovebug !! 🌸 NO WAY OMG YOU MET HIM ?? WHO WERE THE OPENING ACTS? AND THEY SIGNED YOUR VANS asdfhalksjda you're living the true concert experience 🤩🤩🤩
aaaa i'm so sad i missed it, this is long overdue, but happy (belated) bday, honey bee 💖💖 xiao long bao sounds so good aaaa i really wanna get some now 🤧 and omg new piercings !!!! which piercing(s) did you get? congratulations on being an adult now, lovebug 🥳🥳💜
YES oh my god when they made out i was like .... this should be illegal 😬😬 but yes she definitely proved her point with the casting and their acting. red and everything has changed are both so good !!!!! omg yes the everything has changed mv 🥺🥺 the little versions of themselves are so cute and that mv makes me smile :') yessss omg i hear message in a bottle playing on the radio in the car nowadays too, and it makes me so happy 🥰 i'm also looking forward to speak now !!!! YES omg last kiss hits so hard, and i also really love ours 🥺💗💗 i'm also hoping crazier will be added to her rerecording for speak now 🤧 also enchanted and long live ✨✨
how have you been doing, sweetpea? are you celebrating the holidays? are you doing anything fun for nye? 💕
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i couldn’t stop smiling reading your last message i’m literally so happy atm. you’re so cute and i’m SO happy. i reread it three times and giggled so loud my brother asked why i was laughing... 🥺 he’s in the next freaking room 🥺
sappiness aside: YES!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE? i wish i could give my luck to you as you deserve it much more ): it’s true but it’s still important if you wanna do well in combat sadly haha dhdydbjdnd like you said it’s very inconvenient to have a unbalanced team but i decided that i’m just gonna switch around with the characters i have when it’s needed yk? they’re all mostly around the same levels so it works fine rn.. or it will until i have to focus on who i want to focus on ascending when i get to higher levels bc payments and materials and all.. sigh there’s so much to think about with too many cute characters... anyway how many rolls have you done since you started playing? do you remember?
OH???? is it easier on pc? i’ve always enjoyed smaller consoles tbh (like switch or even phone) bc it’s easier to focus so it wasn’t that difficult for me. but like you said it might just be a ‘getting used to it’ thing. also now that you’ve seen both; which differences are there in the game? are you gonna have two different accs?
i did restart it from the first ep!!! i figured i might as well get the ~full~ experience. it’s been a while too so it’s like a new experience but not rly? it’s like traveling back to your home country and you’re like wow... i belong here even if i’m not here all the time dhsjsjdhfh bad example but you know what i mean?i’ll keep you updated! rn i’m at training camp part of s1 and it’s great!!! just having a blast tbh. needed this especially now that school is back... :(
i guess we are talking about voltron in 20fucking21. i don’t know if i love that for us or not.... (our honeymoon can be whenever you want babe pick a date and i’m There 😏)
pls unrequited love is soo good. it hurts but it’s good too? haha, maybe if one has experiences with it it just hits different yk? but i’m with you—watching voltron i always always had the headcanon that keith first started to feel smth for lance in the ‘we did it’ scene and actually thought ‘i’m in love’ during the black lion scene. like the proof is all there... s8 and the sunset scene just proves his longlasting feelings nobody can tell me otherwise. keith is the type to cherish the people he loves a lot because he barely has anyone and that means putting their happiness above anything else and lance’s happiness was allura for a while and he just... accepted that despite yearning . god . i always think about is bittersweet smile while having his speech. it’s like; i know that you’re great and you should know that you’re great too and if she can’t see it she doesn’t deserve you.
you freaking out over the leave the math to pidge scene... losing my fucking mind. girl they’re literally in love fuckinf crying 😭😭😭😭😭 they depend on each other SO much like the show runners always push the ‘hunk and lance bffs’ agenda ok sure but in the show hunk was never there for lance the same way keith was. they just eased each other’s anxieties without having any expectations on each other at all? yet they surpassed all of them. the other was just.. there. always. remember the ‘we all miss shiro’ scene too???? the entire team looked at lance and wanted him to step up!!!!!! like HELLO??????? and the second lance spoke keith just calmed down... kill me now. if that doesn’t show much trust and appriciation and respect there was between them idk what does. and the fact that the others know that despite their differences they still need each other just..... yeah. *cries*
YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD YOU SHOULD. i get you tho klance is just... comfort ship but the ship that leaves you depressed too. i’m sure you could still write them perfectly but i’m absolutely in no way pressuring you at all you truly don’t have to if you can’t. i know how hard it can be to write when the motivation is just not there... :/ anyway idk what i’d prompt i just love your fics babe hsjdhdjdjdk. that’s so boring of me to say help but everything you write i love so.. surprise me? i can’t believe you have a final klance fic tho that sounds so sad.... ): i’m curious what it’s about but maybe it’s better to keep it hush hush.. hm?
i hope you’ve slept well!! you make me so happy!! kisses! xxxxxx
FHSJFKDS that makes /me/ so happy to hear!!! i was sitting on my bed smiling like a FOOL reading this ahahahaha. and soz to your brother but what can i say 🤪🤪
nooooo im so glad you got a 5 star already pls it’s fine im just gonna use all my primogems on xiao banner and it’ll end up okay fhskjdfds. yeah just switching charas in when needed totally works too! it’s just annoying when you accidentally get caught up in combat and it’s just ‘oop im level 1 against level 50′ AHAH. (tho i guess you won’t run into that issue yet?) honestly yeah there’s so much to do with the characters like ascending, constellations, talents, weapons, it’s just like.. what do i do first.... and who..... afhdskjfhsjf sometimes i just want to use character bc pretty and that should be enough 😔
hmmmm for the character event banner I believe i’m at 60 or 70 rn? so i’m reaaaally close to pity which is why when xiao comes 🙏🙏🙏 and for the standard banner i have no idea, maybe 40? so yeahhhh LOL... i keep saying this (and i better not be jinxing it BUT) im hoping it’ll all pay off...... i hope it’s all been building up for xiao... c6 xiao.. come home FHDKSJHDS
i definitely prefer it on PC! controls aside i just like the bigger screen tbh (my laptop is 15″). mostly the differences are the controls/buttons! since you can’t hold down multiple buttons at once on mobile, they’ve got more to cover all the functions (pc doesn’t have an extra dash button, we just right click or press shift; if we’re in the air i think one of the buttons turns into the drop down/plunge, rather than showing like 3 on mobile? i can’t remember precisely but yeahhh; there’s also the joystick on the left side of the screen on mobile that obviously isn’t there on pc bc we have the keyboard. it’s also harder to move the camera around whilst doing things on mobile i feel?)
and nah i don’t think i’ll make another acc, esp since i’ve gotten so far into game already but i did definitely think about it as a possibility ahahah (bc of my bad luck... i was wondering if i did a reroll (second) acc i might be able to get diluc FJKHSKDFS)
omg it feels like coming home what a good description 😩😩 haikyuu is just such a fun warm experience! legit so comforting and light-hearted but also get deep when it needs to be. oh yes training camp <33 gosh they were so young then :’) HAHAAH. and noooooo school has started up for you again? rip i wish you the best of luck 😔💪
maybe 2k21 is the year of revisiting old things...... god voltron ended in 2018 can you BELIEVE that (😏😏😏 i was gonna mention playing genshin co-op together (even back when you first started) HAAHAH but i assume you play in europe server? im asia rip 😥)
WE DID IT WE ARE A GOOD TEAM!! THE FUCKING PURPLE AROUND THEM!!!! THE SMILEEEE OH MY GOD THE BONDING MOMENT THE. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk every time you mentioned a single line or scene im just. all the memories come flooding back fhdsfkhsdjf. hang on a second.. they are red and blue.... the scene was purple... surely i knew this back then but im thinking about it now and?????/ oh my god
the sunset scene!!!!!!!!!! that is Peak pining keith unrequited love and pain scene... my goodness. “that means putting their happiness above anything else” NOOOOOOOOOOO you are so right tho 😭😭😭😭😭 please keith deserves the univerise <333 :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( the fact that lance seeked him out for that too.. just like old times.. “you can sure be a hard guy to find when you wanna be huh” the way i still remember that ugh they really were my everything 😔
YES!! like they pushed the whole lance+hunk+pidge thing but then in the actual show had hunk+pidge treat lance like shit and belittle him so often?? like ?????????? (once again where fanon saves us 😩) and oh my god yeah.. when everyone turned to him and lance like walked up to keith and then said all that.. we actually had so many moments?? god. *cries with you*
speaking of shiro.. s06e05 the black paladins!!! “shiro.. please.. you’re my brother.. i love you..” “just let go, keith” 😭😭 keith suffered so much AND FOR WHAT my god i miss him so much oh no
FSHFKJDS “surprise me” the only reason im asking is bc i have no ideas!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but i shall think.. (and if you want to think and help me out too.. 👐) & i’ve actually posted about that final fic a lot! LMAO that’s how you know i know i’m never gonna finish fdskhfksjd but in case you do wanna see, here are some links: one, two, three
thank you!! i stayed up to 4am like an idiot LOL but i swear today.... and same 😭 im so so happy to have met you 🥰❣ muah! xoxoxox
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Med Rewatch Series (#2)
\haha yeah I was totally planning on sleeping but I literally cannot think about anything else other than getting this idea out of my brain. so, we will try to get through the finale of s2: Love Hurts. please enjoy.
-okay so right off the bat before even starting the episode, i noted a few things. the episode description is “Robin experiences complications and a new face arrives at the hospital.” How fucking annoying that it’s the season finale and the entire episode is centered around connor? of course, at this point we don’t know that the ‘new face’ is his future love interest.
-also!!! the fact that ava is mentioned in the episode description of the season finale? That’s huge!
-the episode description makes it sound like nothing fucking happens in this episode.
-also i am extremely scared to start the ep bc i feel like it is going to through me straight back into the deep end and put me in a state of emotional shock.
-i will try to take very deep breaths before the episode starts. okay. here we go.
-does this episode open with robin being carted in on the ambo bc if this is the ep im thinking about, i remember appreciating how angsty this scene was
-i still remember charles yelling ‘2 of adavan!’
-okay hi sarah i really was not expecting to see you this soon
-oh wow. just. sarah calling shots in the ed. in control. you love to see it. also. im just now remembering how early in the ep we get to meet ava. i always remembered it as being at the very end but. i remember connor being distraught with his messy hair.
-also i’m highkey loving how out-of-control connor is rn
-reese. god i missed you so much.
-they counted again. love that.
-okay but like i have no analysis just every time sarah’s onscreen i just want to say ‘i love you’
- i have not heard sarah speak in a HOT SEC and god i forgot how deep her voice was and it is sending me (its not even that deep i just like, forgot.) It has been years and I honestly think i have forgotten who sarah really was. sad.
-like i don’t remember the last time i could describe her as in control but right now treating robin she’s calm (honestly bc she’s the only other shrink on the show, but HOLD ON WAIT DOESNT CHARLES GET SHOT AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. reese has one moment. and then her and charles start bickering. i remember why i was so mad)
-i’m in love with her.
-i really have to sit through the next 40 mins of this and just everytime i see sarah going ‘i love her,’ and now you do too.
-oh my god CHARLES SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CANNOT BLAME CONNOR FOR THIS
-also the reason i became disillusioned: dr charles just started being suuuuuper sus.
-i do love sarah. and honestly, connor, not my favorite, but this storyline really made me empathize with him. his girlfriend is having a psychotic break and people keep shitting on him. (maybe the reason i didn’t like ava at first. really kicked him while he was down)
-I... haha. sarah. hnghhh. you can guess the rest.
-if you were in this situation, with robin, would you be thinking like connor or would you be thinking like charles? personally- connor. Robin was fine. maybe a little impulsive to take her home, but charles was being suuuper overprotective (from what I remember).
-Charles: “This is on you. You did this.” I remember that line hitting really hard when I watched it the first time lmao damn.
-SARAH. HER EYES ARE RED. SHE’S SAD. SHE’S CRYING! COME ONNNN MEDDD YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME!!! (and I swallowed my water the wrong way which somehow triggered my gag reflex so now im crying too please god stop Im sorry what did I do)
-yay sarah. hey guys look at that. sarah gets to, like, do her job.
-ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT S3 STILL SUCKS FOR SARAH BC OF HER INTENSE INTENSE PTSD??? LIKE SHE WHOLE ASS PEPPERSPRAYS HER PATIENT???
-also these are the clothes charles got shot in and honestly i’m not even mad. I’m mad that him getting shot put sarah through so much pain (i talked a lot about ava but y’all are really gonna see just how protective i am of sarah. like god even I forgot.)
-you can see how much sarah cares about connor. which is like, fantastically crazy. (it fuels the rheese shippers which is why i tend to be against it) but just like, that’s just how sarah is. she cares so much. she’s not even close to connor, but you can see how much she cares. this is why its so unfair for sarah to work in psych. like, she’s way too soft for that come on man. (y’all remember the huge car crash episode and at the end she tells ethan that it was nice to be back in the ed bc you can fix people’s bodies but not their minds? 1) she was adorable in that. 2) i am so scared for her. she just cares too much)
-okay but the above bullet is probably the exact reason why people ended up shipping ava and sarah. they both are characters who care way more than they let on. sarah is the only one in the hospital who would probably give ava a second chance after an icy first encounter. That being said, being realistic? ava is probably the only one who would she the bullshit that sarah has to go through everyday, so she would never have the icy first encounter. which in turn sets sarah’s empathy bells off or whatever.
-honestly? ava is a mean to people because she thinks they deserve it. that’s it. she’s not a bitch or anything like that (and yeah, ava stans do a little bit of overlooking her behavior bc hey if a careless med student bumps into her while passing by, thats on them). (and of course, in this world and in reesker minds, sarah has never done anything wrong, ever.)
-look guys, i did it. i boiled reesker down to its bare essentials! (lmao tho literally walking through it again from almost a totally fresh perspective, it is still so easy to see how they would have been great together.)
-also. uh. not to pile on the reesker but. ----- connor just got paged by latham. is-is it happening?
-refusing to go home and sleep because the person you care most about is lying in a hospital bed is such classic angst oh my god
-wtf? charles has meds i completely forgot? for his heart? when is he gonna get shot the suspense is killing me.
-ALSO. YOU ARE TELLING ME. THAT S3 SARAH HAD TO DEAL WITH PTSD AND A POSSIBLE PATIENT LAWSUIT. AT THE SAME TIME HER FATHER WAS BEING SUSPECTED OF MURDER, AT THE SAME TIME HE TRIED TO RECONNECT. it is a fucking crime that that is the season we have to rewatch. its a crime they abused her so much.
-waiting for charles to keel over and die like
-the worst thing is that like, he actually cares. he actually truly cares about sarah, he just did a lot of bad things. so sarah has to justify them all! and sarah had no idea how to feel because now she’s disillusioned again. please chill
-lmao stoll wow
-oh. soft sweet boy noah. he really doesn’t know better, and that’s almost the worst thing.
-also. dr. shore. that’s really all i have to say about that.
-ohhhhh my god nat fucking chill
-what is it with couples on mad and not being allowed to be happy. (this could be about reesker if you, like, reallyyyy squint)
-aw! hey, look! it’s jay! he’s nice to look at too. ooh i also forgot how deep his voice was lol
-counting
- i honestly forgot what a good source of angst this show was. this guys parents are flying in from germany to go to his graduation and then he got hit by a car??? damn
- i still forget how much i like the cop/doctor brother duo. I love it.
-GUYSSS
-GUYSSS ITS HAPPENING
-the air literally left my lungs I am not ready.
-ITS FUCKING
-oh my god
-it is 3 am and I just screamed out loud holy shit
-I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT. IT DOESNT HAPPEN WITH HER IN CASUAL CLOTHES. THAT IS AT THE END. I FORGOT THEY INTERACT WITH HER IN SCRUBS
- I FORGOT I FUCKING FORGOT
--holy shit she is fucking stunning. she was just allowed to be like that? in her first introduction? while connor looks like complete shit? IMAGINE THE POWER SHE HAS HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE GREATEST POWER MOVE IVE EVER SEEN.
-uh for those of you who are confused, ava bekker has entered the scene and holy. shit. is she fucking amazing. and she hasn’t even said a word yet. all she did was turn
-H E R P O W E R
-uhhuufhuahdoas back to the analysis - latham reiterated all of the points we just discussed in the premiere, only goes to show how this was planned, from the start.
- t h e p o w e r ava has to step on the scene and instantly fuck things up. I ASPIRE
-okay let me try again to move forward. (nope. i tried to go back to the tab and just. the expression on her face. guys. i cannot express the emotions. we will press on)
-deep breaths
-she’s so pretty oh my god
-I-uh- okay listen. it is really, really, really hard to analyze this because i have not watched an actual scene or actually heard her talk in her very very pretty accent in two years. I, uh, i need a minute.
-i honestly cannot recall a thing she just said. (i am literally in fucking love) (i’m gonna go back and rewatch the scene and see what I pick up)
-THE----the fucking way she puts her hand back in her pocket
-GOD IM FUCKING GAY
-as for analysis - god that cheeky little smile.
-she’s blunt. is what took me about 75 words to say. this is gonna be a nightmare. (if i torture myself and make myself watch s4 and s5 then I’ll be really sad) (at this point can you imagine what would’ve happened if i had watched her death? I’m remembering exactly how crushed I was)
-OH. YEAH. IN CASE YOU FORGOT? THAT GIRL? THE SNARKY ONE? ON SCREEN RIGHT NOW? SHE’S. FUCKING. DEAD. CANONICALLY SHES DEAD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
-like just that fact is sending me so hard. i am already so sad. I had like thirty seconds of elation. it’s not FUCKING FAIR
- i need another minute. AND SHE STILL HAS ANOTHER LINE.
-this doesn’t really pertain to the theory but the “loyal, that’s sweet” line has got to mean something. Like something to be said about how connor couldn’t commit to her in s4. (its just so fucking unfair that she’s dead but we really need to move on)
-this also means that ava isn’t entirely loyal? bc she’s looking down on connor for being loyal? I um really don’t have all the info to unpack All of that, but it should be noted.
-DID YOU CONNOR? DID YOU ENJOY WORKING TOGETHER???
-from ava stan perspective: @ connor you like made her life hell, which wasn’t your fault but still. uhh she’s the one that’s dead, you’re not, so obviously one of you enjoyed it a little more. let’s move on.
-i love her.
-haha oh man jack kelloggs back. FUCKING MERC HIS ASS (i don’t hate charles that much and this storyline gave me so much fucking anxiety throughout the ep)
-god jack kelloggs such an asshole
-OKAY BRUH ETHAN AND APRIL HAVE A THING THIS SEASON? jesus this show really moves
-there are a lot of things I could complain about.
-will: “Why’d she do that? Cut her hair. A woman makes a change like that, it’s a big deal.” S4 AVA WHAT DOES IT MEAN
-i can’t believe its the season finale and they have enough time for will to ask maggie why nat cut her hair. this show is the reason I have anxiety. charles is about to get shot and what are you doing
-oh. oh wow. noah and sarah bickering/noah flirting. it’s like, adorable. which i don’t think is really fair. just, sarah’s the best
-I- uh- can’t believe that was the first time I watched an ava scene in years? that was a really big step for me?? god wow.
-god remember how sarah just like, saved robin? yall remember that? REMEMBER WHEN SARAH COULD DO THINGS? there’s a reason i hated this show.
-okay but just like the fact that charles was - content with letting his daughter be holed up in a room for the foreseeable future? when sarah had a perfectly logical answer? who is he trying to undermine here? (and that is why i hate charles)
-sharon: “where’s the daniel who doesn’t give up? doesn’t your own daughter deserve that much?” kind of a reach but if charles really cares about sarah as much as he does, and sharon knows this, the double meaning here is almost impeccable.
-oh hey guys! ava’s back!
-okay this is like super nitpicky but at this point it feels like norma didn’t have the accent down packed and its a little exaggerated and awkward at times but, come on, still love her.
-Ava: “excuse me, you’re an emergency medicine resident, why are we even talking” AVA BEKKER REALLY TAKES NO SURVIVORS (the writers just really weren’t banking on the fans being that attracted to ava) (like i forgot how blunt she was and holy shit. wow. i kinda see where the haters were coming from. its amazing to see how we clawed her back tho [by we i mean the lesbians])
-analytical. That’s what ava is. It’s almost like that thing where people purposefully say something outlandish just to gauge people’s reaction. she doesn’t argue with connor, at least not now. she just looks between him and ethan, sees she’s outnumbered, and walks off. She doesn’t know how the place works yet. she’s testing the waters. - this could be why she slowly gets more and more confrontational as the series progresses. she sees that no matter what, everyone will be on connor’s side. she doesn’t fight a losing battle. but when you’re constantly losing, its frustration. (reminder, these things only hold true in s3. s4 doesn’t exist)
-I’m fucking?? where the hell did jeff go?
-also, oh, this is maggie’s storyline. the guy dies right but he wanted to propose to the girl? wait no that doesn’t seem right...
-yooo its the girl in the gorilla costume. certified iconic. also how the hell did they have enough time for all this crap in the finale. this show fucking moves.
-for like a split second i forgot that noah and april were siblings
-noah’s a sweetie
-oh hey look it’s ava
-knock knock. who’s there? oh boy, point one for ava stans, she’s right about the surgery (potential evidence showing how this is the first scene of connor not being shit/actually being out or equally matched)
-OKAY WOW SARAH GO OFF (she’’s just fantastic i mean look at her. she’s adorable)
-ava: “Why do all the residents in this hospital think they can offer their opinions?” DR BEKKER PLEASE (okay but like i said last ep i had the exact same question. go off ava)
-connor just took control of the case (first instance of ava outright saying ‘i disagree’) (and let me guess, he’s gonna be right in the end because he literally fucking always is)
-if you look at it from a different perspective, ava was necessary. they needed someone to put connor in his place. at least, she tried. (very disappointing that she also had to sleep with him but that’s not the current point) if they wanted to fix his problem of coming off as spoiled, ava gave him a force to fight against, to earn his stars. they could’ve done it better, and actually had him lose a few times. because what does constantly letting connor win do? it undermines ava, it also undermines his attending. his attending who he is constantly having to stick up for. dude. hero complex chill. ava never had a hero complex. which cannot be said for a lot of the people on the show (IF YOU EVEN TRY TO ARGUE THIS POINT IS WRONG I POINT YOU TO THE EPISODE WHERE AVA PUSHED THE CREDIT FOR THE SURGERY ONTO CONNOR WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER WAS HUGGING HER) they did it wrong. they tried to, idk, fix connor by giving him humility, but they kind of completely forgot the humility part. and the part where he learns things. HE EVEN HAS TO STAND UP FOR AVA TO HER OWN MENTOR. LITERALLY? DUDE? FUCKING. CHILL.
-okay but that’s what it is though. ava was always meant to be the villain. because she was always a counter for connor. and connor is the hero. (you may be thinking this goes against my theory because I’m fighting for ava rights, but my actual theory is that ava was never supposed to stay past s3. the only reason she stayed was because she became a fan favorite. she was supposed to take connor’s mayo clinic offer. and you know how it probably would have happened? Connor probably would have gave her the offer. letting him be the hero one last time. [of course, this isn’t what happened. we all know.])
-OKAY FUCK THIS RESIDENT? “good call, Dr. Rhodes” SHUT THE FUCK UP??? (resident speaking rights revoked)
-I have nothing for this but just want to point out how she looks around and says “yes” all contemplative. god if i could just think about what she was thinking
-jack bro stop
-okay. was there ever an active shooter in the hospital when ava was around. bc if there was. i legally need to know
-lmao stoll
-sarah... makes me smile.
-fun fact: we are at about the half way mark. I am so sorry.
-no no no nono. so, robin just got diagnosed and is getting prepped for surgery. Sarah. don’t give charles credit for solving it. stop.
-Hey! yall remember how the best characters on the show only got thirty seconds of onscreen time together? yeah! I’m still mad about it too!
-aww connor being worried. (i think im fine with connor as long as like, ava is no where near. this scene is just very pure)
-when is this guy gonna get shot already
-aww he loves her. i want to kill him. (why? playboy. gets feelings way too quick. stop him. keep him away from ava)
-HAHAHAH okay. robin just got put into surgery and latham and ava are performing it (is it a brain surgery? yes. are they ct surgeons? yes. don’t ask questions) BUT you can see this emotion on ava’s face. she feels sorry for him. it’s up for us to decide if its condescending or she just feels bad for or bc she is on a surgery he wanted, but for the sake of opinion, i’m inclined to say she just felt bad for him (cough empathy cough)
-literally everytime charles is on screen im like when is he gonna get shot
-this scene where both connor and charles admit they were wrong is very nice (hey actually look, connor does have humility! not in front of ava tho so hmm) (sexual tens- literally no, shut the fuck up)
-HAHA HOLY SHIT I FORGOT CONNORS MOM KILLED HERSELF?? HOLY SHIT? THIS FUCKING GUY LITERALLY CANT CATCH A BREAK (maybe take a hint bro? and go far far away? well he did. too little too late ig)
-connor: “i obviously couldn’t save my mom, but I sure as hell didn’t try to save robin” *through cupped hands* HEY! HEY CONNOR! D-DID YOU TRY? WITH AVA? DID YOU TRY? okay literally what is it with this guy and people dying. for such a good surgeon... oh yeah, irony.
-hi sarah! how nice of you to check in with connor and charles about robin!
-sarah: *looks between charles and connor, who have probably agreed on something for the first time since connor got with robin* “everything okay?” literally she’s so sweet my heart.
- sarah: *laughs in disbelief* SARAH STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY FULL
-this man needs to button the top button of his shirt, i do not like that i can see it
-I------ HOLY SHIT?
-WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING WARN ME THAT JOEY WAS STILL ON THE SHOW???
-FUCKING EXCUSE ME???
- the air left lungs on that one again, i was Not expecting that.
-HOLD THE FUCK ON. I JUST WENT OF HIS WIKI AND HE APPEARS IN S4??? FUCKING WHAT??? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID AND IF IT WAS IMPORTANT
-sarah reese is such a fucking dork she got her boyfriend a rubik’s cube as a gift?? a guy who is so nerdy that he definetly already has like five of them. hmm. things don’t add up. also he’s nerdy enough to give back a gift at the breakup. dude seriously. get some social cues. in like the bargin bin at goodwill. please.
-IF SARAH FUCKING CRIES I SWEAR TO GOD
-oh yeah she’s pregnant. that’s how the story ends.
-okay. natalie comes off as empathetic but like, in the most condescending way.
-like its fucking obvious she’s only ever caring about herself (ava bekker would never. sarah reese would never. get your head out of your ass) (ok wow that aggression came from nowhere lmao)
- i really wanna say something about - Connor: “We all know that love can hurt, but loneliness? that’ll kill you.” have fun with that fic writers. (insert obvious connection to loneliness killing ava? have we had enough? this doesn’t pertain to the theory)
-jesus will at this point stop hesitating at the ‘if we’re wrong, it could kill him’ stage. we all know you don’t care
-how funny would it be if the family just like, disowned that girl
-this will nat and co. love triangle is already so fucking exhausting
-JAY REALLY SAID WILL I AM TAKING NONE OF YOUR BS
-is he really about to break up with her. right now. i swear to fucking god
-this is so fucking stupid (what i would pay for ava to hand him his ass right here right now) (that’s a hc idea right there)
-FUCKING LEAVE ALREADY WILLIAM
-sarah and noah stay adorable
-aww stolllll, my heart
-lmao i forgot the girl who played robin was on once upon a time and i was like ‘ive seen her recently what was it’
-FINALLY HES GONNA FUCKING GET SHOT! HELL YES!
-charles looks high as balls
-the queen returns. she’s back
-IM GONNA FUCKING JUMP OFF A CLIFF
-okay. from the previous ep i mentioned ava’s line being something like ‘you’re quite the gossip magnet, your mother commited suicide, drove your girlfriend crazy, and you murdered your attending.” right? we all remember that?
-well lads, do we remember connor’s response?
-connor: “...Well you’d better watch yourself, hadn’t you?”
-...
- I-
-hahahah this is not okay.
-AND GOD. JUST THE WAY AVA TAKES IT AND JUST SMILES, ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. holy shit. this fucking breaks my heart.
-i like almost can’t even appreciate the easy ending of noah’s grad party.
-oh yeah charles still hasn’t gotten shot.
-god sarah is still adorable. the way she finally relaxes FOR ONCE and lets herself have fun. fun fact: this may be the last time we see sarah just easily enjoying herself. also maybe the first.
- i am officially starting the save ava campaign, anyone who wants to join can. the goal is pretty simple. save ava. save our hearts.
-oh my god is he finally going to get shot?? like what dude come on
Okay. another episode down, the first full one, and what have we learned?
Well, this was Ava’s first episode and we learned how it seems she was doomed from the start. It makes no sense, even just her writing is disconnected from s2 to s3, like how do they do that? This ava lines up so well with s4 ava it’s almost uncanny. if you completely cut out s3 her character arc would make complete sense, in a frighteningly tidy way.
Like I said at the top, the fact that Ava was referenced in the episode description of the season finale is huge. It means she is a big character, ground shaking, almost. I really don’t know why they had to make this introduction at the end of s2 and not the beginning of s3, other than making it fit with the three month time jump that i’m pretty sure starts the season.
The way I see it, Ava had 4 main interactions/points. 1) She called connor loyal (and was blunt about Latham) 2) She remarks that residents shouldn’t have speaking rights (that one’s just funny) and disagrees with connor on the surgery, which they go with connor’s decision because of course they do. granted they switch to her plan midway through) 3) connor takes over her surgery after they disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved. Connor is right. and 4) we have the final ‘I like dangerous men’ interaction.
Let’s focus on the train of Ava vs. Connor disagreements. If we go by my previous statement which was Ava was designed as the villain to Connor’s hero, so the hero could win the favor of the public by defeating the villain, the trajectory of their interactions is not surprising in the slightest.
First, Connor wins the first point bc they initial go with his plan. Then, mid surgery, they have to switch to Ava’s plan, because she was right. This obviously pisses him off, that he was wrong and she was right. His crown had been knocked askew. But then, he wrestles it back. They disagree on whether or not the patient can be saved, connor takes complete control, and he actually ends up saving him.
It’s interesting that the final disagreement came at the sake of a patient’s life. Ava was quick to dismiss the heart as gone, but Connor fought for it, being the hero. It’s easy to shut Ava down right then and there, call her heartless and call it a day.
if s4 had come immedietely (i have no clue how to spell that) after, it would be completely in character for ava to be a psychopath from what little we’ve seen. And honestly, no one would care. The villain would get her due justice.
Let’s switch gears to the conspiracy theory, or the redemption arc. whichever sounds cooler.
A hero is only as good as their villain. That’s really my argument. At this point, yeah, s4 seems like it was planned, just based on s2.
Okay, so, what? Is that another layer of the theory that I’m adding? that the connor/ava plot of s4 was ACTUALLY supposed to be in s3? I... no. we’ve established that is is very rare for the med writers to plan storylines that far ahead. so what am I saying?
I think that the s4 plot was actually a scrapped plot potentially to be used in s3. and when they were left floundering at the end of s3 for an answer? they retreated. sacrificing character development in the process.
So what the hell happened in s3? A horrible fluke? why was it so different?
in s3 ava became more of a rival and less of a villain. while those words can have very similar meanings, the bulk of it is that neither of them really wanted to be that mean each other, they never went out of their way to stomp on the other (at least that I’m aware of). they just were always forced to work together, naturally leading to friction.
This shift meant all the difference. Connor no longer had to beat Ava. it wasn’t required. as a result, ava was very very slowly allowed to interact with people other than connor. she was allowed to slightly develop.
Why the shift? well, the conspiracy theory suggests it’s because they wanted someone who could follow up connor if he left at the end. IF they were true rivals, each of them should be able to hold their own without each other.
okay yeah, i managed to get like 4k words out of like 5 minutes a screen time and 8 lines. jesus christ.still didnt do my hw tho
next we watch the premiere of s3 and see what happens. thanks for reading
-
read the next parts:
Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra
#i got exactly one (1) hour of sleep last night holy shit#this was so many bad decisions wrapped in one#chicago med#med rewatch series#ava bekker#mine#love hurts
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