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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

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I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!

When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.

When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!

#if i return him where he came from he'll end up eaten anyway #prove yourself rooster! escape your fate #to go back to the fox attack; my other chicken went to hide in the barn (which is always open and they were not far from it)#and i thought she'd been eaten too because i couldn't find her anywhere. until i heard her clucking to herself anxiously #i called her and she clucked louder in response but refused to come out of her hiding place #after 10min of playing marco polo with a chicken in the barn i finally found her huddled at the bottom of #the large basket i use to store kindling #and pandolf & i went to look for cordy although i didn't have any hope #and we ended up finding feathers quite far away in the woods #i was very impressed by pandolf's ability to follow the fox's smell ! i've been teaching him 'cherche' but he's not that good at tracking #or not motivated enough when it's just for fun #but since he failed in his duty to protect his flock i guess he was suddenly very determined to be #a good dog in some other way and he was sniffing the ground so seriously #sorry the post was already long and i'm writing another one in the tags!

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quinn-pop · 6 months

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astral things…(aka orb cats)

y’know that cute thing cats do where they sleep with their paws out??? yeah

#these have been sitting in my folder far too long okay #apparently i draw at an angle??? it’s strange #anyway…blorbos #my art or something #kirbyposting #meta knight #kirby #prince fluff #kirby tends to purr more and meta tends to knead more i am clinging to this headcanon forever #also yeah the arms thing was just me reflecting on the fact that i make his arms Very long lol oops #low effort post sorry everything else is missing like 1 more doodle

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formereldestdaughter · 1 month

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ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

#peeta mellark #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games meta #anyway wow this got so long and I literally read it through one (1) time so uhhh sorry if this makes no sense!!#as I was doing my one read through and realized that one of my other thoughts on this is that yeah I can much more easily see the #headcanon that peeta like sells baked goods (probably at cost with no profit) out of his kitchen because that’s much more flexible #and I think that would work a lot better with what like I guess I’d call his psychiatric disability post mockingjay #and how he’d certainly want to take care of Katniss too #like that sort of flexibility makes a lot more sense for him and it’s like. if he doesn’t bake for a few days or however long then it’s fin #it’s not a formal brick and mortar business #it’s just something he’s doing because it’s a way to be involved with people and a way to do something he’s passionate about #without there being waste and while covering some of the costs #and he doesn’t have to like keep books or do payroll or any of the things I can’t see him being very passionate about #as far as like bakery management goes Lmao he can just bake!!#but then I started getting into this whole thing about how that quote-unquote ‘running a business’ like that (informally from your house)#is actually a really common practice for people living in poverty so probably something that Katniss and peeta would’ve been familiar wirh #anyway and then this whole rant about how the emphasis on the brick and mortar bakery often goes hand in hand with #this widespread fandom thing of having a fundamental misunderstanding of how rural poverty works and what it looks like #but then I was too deep into it and said you know what? never mind! and deleted it lmao

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kitnita · 5 months

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ty dellandrea pregame — DAL vs TBL — 12.04.23

and then, when you get a chance to play with wyatt and jamie, has that been a fun experience? it seems like a really nice line. yeah. yeah, you know, we’ve had experience last year and we — uh, we, uh, had experience last year. um, had a lotta fun playing together, built some chemistry. so getting an opportunity to play with them, it’s exciting. um, you know, I think I can add an element to that line and try to help them do what they do, it’s — play hard, play against any line, and, uh, contribute and produce. so, uh, just try and support them and be a factor on that line. and wyatt’s learning how to wear his hat the right way and everything? exactly, yeah, just trying to still — still babysitting wyatt. so, uh, nice to be right on his wing now so I don’t have to look far for him. so, it’s been good.

#hockey #stars #dallas stars #ty dellandrea #wyatt johnston #just his arm. but. !!!!!#this is so FUN and SWEET and GOOFY #oh my god. obviously they belong on a line together so that delly doesn't have to look too far for wyatt #1053 #long post //#z:edit

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moongothic · 4 months

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So I'm confused about something. There was a cover story about Ms Goldenweek and other Baroque works agents breaking Crocodile out of prison but he just. Told them no? And stayed there with Mr 1 and Mr 2? I don't get why he wanted to go to Impel Down just to break out when he had the chance

I can't tell you 100% why Crocodile chose to stay in prison and go to Impel Down, but my best guess really is that he was just...

Taking the L with grace

More specifically. Crocodile had lost everything. I think deep inside he might've been literally too depressed to want to go free again.

Like he does literally say that. He gave up.

He had been building his reputation as "the Hero of Alabasta" for at least 10 years at this point. He had built not just a criminal organization that he had been running for four years, but also he had been running legal business stuff (like his casino) for probably longer than that. A decade's worth of work and effort to take over a country, and most importantly, get away with it. The reason he had orchestrated that whole rebellion was so that the rebels and the royal family could "take each other out", leaving the country wide open for a World Government Official such as himself to take up. The reason Baroque Works was doing this all in secret was so that the WG never found out, otherwise they wouldn't have let him have Alabasta.

But indeed, his plans were foiled by a kid in flipflops in less than 24 hours, just at the final moment before Crocodile would win. He lost everything. And the World Government found out about what he had been planning.

So even if he escaped from that prison with his former agents, what was he going to do?

He wouldn't be able to take over Alabasta anymore because he did not have manpower (as he had lost all his goons), and having lost his financial empire he wouldn't be able to build a new army any time soon. And even if he did, now that they knew what he had done the people of Alabasta would not accept him as their new king, even if he personally assasinated Cobra and the entire family. Not to mention, the WG finding out about his plans meant that they had every fucking reason to try and stop Crocodile if he did as much as set foot on that island again. By which I mean, they could launch a Buster Call on his ass. Send all the fucking Admirals after him. And so, even if Crocodile still believed Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta and that he just had to comb through the entire desert to find it... Between the Alabastan people and the WG in the way, finding Pluton would not be easy. Especially when Robin wouldn't even be there to just point him directly to it. It could take years, if not decades, while fighting off the WG by himself. And that's while assuming Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta. Like WE the readers now know Pluton is in Wano, but since Robin didn't tell him that. All Robin said was that the Poneglyph "didn't mention the weapon", and Cobra's reaction to the name merely proved the weapon's existence in Crocodile's mind. But surely, because Crocodile is a smart young man, he'd understand there was a risk that Pluton could exist, but just not be in Alabasta, right? Like that would be a possibility too, right?

I think this is why Crocodile has given up on Alabasta. He had one opportunity at seizing the country, and he failed. And without Robin, he could spend the rest of his life combing through a haystack for a needle when there's no needle, and he'd have no idea. I think is why he explicitly says in Impel Down he no longer has "interest in that country". He won't be able to pull off another stunt like this, ever.

And that leads us back to "why not escape earlier and avoid going to Impel Down to begin with". Thanks to his status as a Shichibukai, Crocodile hasn't been on the run from the WG for like two decades. And the past 10 or so years he has seemingly lived a life of luxury in his funny little casino. But now, having lost everything, he'd be back on the run. And because he's a world famous former "hero of the people", there would be nowhere he'd be able to go where people would not recognize him and send the marines after him. So he'd be on the run, for the rest of his life or until he'd get capture again. And mind you, the guy does not trust anyone, so he'd be on the run alone. Without any purpose or goal.

And you might be thinking, "Daz and the rest of BW was still there!", yeah, arguably true. But at this point Crocodile had no reason to trust any of them. Like personally, I think the reason Crocodile ended up taking a liking to Daz was BECAUSE he chose to follow him to Impel Down when he really did not have to. Like Daz showed an unusual level of loyalty to Crocodile, and I think Crocodile recognized that. That's why Daz is still with Croc, post-timeskip. But Miss Goldenweek and co? Crocodile had no reason to believe they wouldn't betray him if given a chance and a reason. And if the WG would come chasing his ass, they'd have plenty of reason to try and betray Croc (handing Crocodile over to spare their own lives). Not to mention, when they come release their former boss from jail, what did Miss Goldenweek say?

"Let's do Baroque Works again"

As I've already explained in detail, I think we might know why Crocodile wasn't interested in being Baroque Works' "boss" again.

So. Yeah. If in Crocodile's mind he'd be on the run from the Government for the first time in two decades all alone, in a situation where rebuilding what he had before would be bloody hard if not downright impossible, and he wouldn't be able to obtain what he had spent the last decade working for regardless...

Taking the L and just going to prison might've been the easier option

#Moon posting #Asks #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Long post #Mind you Crocodile only *left* jail because he saw AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY for petty revenge #Like had it not been for that war bringing Whitebeard out he probably would not have bothered to try and fight WB again #Otherwise he could've just escaped prison with Goldenweek and co and travelled to the New World to fight the old man right away #((Also theoretically Crocodile might've been slightly suicidal with the ''taking WB's head'' thing))#Also worth noting that Crocodile choosing to stay in prison could've had two other purposes re:the former agents #It could've been a test of loyalty (to see if anyone would stay with him or would they all abandon him)#Which could be important to Mr Trust Issues (and to be fair he did find at least one loyal subordinate in Daz)#((Like if they had all told Croc they'd stay with him...... Who knows. Maybe he might've chosen to escape after all?))#Other option: Crocodile escaping with them would mean the agents would be in much more danger than they'd be without him #Like the WG wouldn't send tons of marines after the individual agents if they all scattered to the winds #But if they all stuck together they'd become a bigger target. And even more so if Crocodile was there to lead them #And like. IDK if Crocodile was willing to leave out Goldenweek from the assassination order and spare her... Maybe this was the same #Maybe he wanted to spare Goldenweek (and the rest?) from being put into danger by going with them?#I dunno man this reptile has far too many layers to him I can't tell what's going on in his head

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bobbinalong · 8 months

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Jon Kent Week 2023, Day 1: Brother | @jonkentweek

I finished it! On time! Whoo!

#dc #dc comics #fanart #bobbinart #jon kent #jonkentweek #superman #otho-ra #osul-ra #supertwins #jon&otho&osul #superboy #his arms are to long his legs are too skinny otho's body makes no sense idc because i DID IT #anyway i almost edited the jon week post instead of this one to add these tags #and i think that would've been funny #just the event blog dragging one of the two people who've actually posted something so far

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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months

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it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

#OFFICIAL FIC ANNOUNCEMENT 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ i wish i had pretty fic graphics but alas i have No Skill and also. so much work i should be doing bu #HI SHE’S HERE i would love to say this is a complete surprise drop except i have Anxiety & i needed to ask you guys about it beforehand #in my defense i started writing this in like. january far before any tragedy occurred #because square asked about my tags on their dewey2 art and she spawned like. a million more thoughts about it #including the part where i got absolutely kicked in the face with the lightning vision of those two lines.#like those two lines are the first actual lines of the fic i wrote ajdhkwdiowdjiw ANYWAY please be nice to me i know i am always like #‘this is not the first real fic i ever thought i’d post’ and if i had a nickel i’d have three but this is the first pwp i’ve ever posted #and it’s 8k and it’s not a fic for an exchange (although technically i did very much write this for the dewey^2 hivemind so.)#i have SO many things to say i have so many comments on this doc also i couldn’t pick a title for the LONGEST time and i finally decided on #this one but the full quote was too long:#all the rest of what i want with you that scares me shitless #so. i was angling SO hard to make a yung gravy lyric as a title bc i saw the video of him at a wild game but i couldn’t find a good one #and instead y’all got a very sentimental title l m a o.#liv in the replies #shout out to the extended universe this lives in and also my unhinged comments in the docs.#if you liked fun fuck a baby in him friday i’ll be here all week i promise i am the exact same in the comments as i am in the tags 🫡#the NUMBER of times i wrote something in this by pulling it out of my ass and then actually went back and did the research & was RIGHT is.#far too high. also the amount of coincidental things that dropped while i was writing this (yung gravy song about pregnancy AFTER i wheeze #laughed myself into a yung gravy title the athletic player poll confirming my restaurant & bar choices from googling ‘st. paul good bars’…)#also if anybody got advice on formatting for these little announcements. help. this is different from my miro/luka one &i’m still not happy

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caluski · 2 months

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no time to draw clothes just happy that i could draw for a little bit tonight.... anyway one more mercy and bedtime

#rysunki #midground #trying so hard to figure out whats off with his face #nose????? eyes too far apart?#but yeah whatever goodnight. just so so so glad i could draw. i missed it so fucking much #sorry had to crop i hate posting long pics unnecessarily

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ocean-cloud · 9 months

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Crowley: A realist, an avoidant and a lover

A somehow even longer analysis of Crowley's core traits, his trauma, issues, growth and choices in season 2 (and a little bit of season 1, my treat)

Here's Aziraphale's version (Aziraphale: an idealist, a problem solver, a denier and a protector)

As we know, they are polar opposites to each other, in almost every sense of the way, yes in the obvious sense but also in their philosophy over time. While Aziraphale believes in the good in everyone (an idealist) and is a problem solver, Crowley is a hardcore realist, self aware and often pessimistic and avoidant. While in the future this could provide a much needed balance in each other's life, as of now this only causes clashes and inevitable miscommunication.

It is to be noted that while Aziraphale is a problem solver he is often in denial over issues relating to heaven, hell, god and sometimes Crowley (due to his idealism, indoctrination fear etc etc) So often times, Crowley is the first to notice the problem due to his realism and constant vigilance. But he fails to solve the issue because he wants to avoid it, never in denial but always running away from the issue at hand, he hates the thought of losing what he loves, time after time, because he cares to much. This is most clearly seen in the entire 'mystery' of s.2 and also the Armageddon of s.1. Crowley knows there is a problem and he knows the issues and worst case scenarios, with that information at hand all he tries to do is run. When he finds Gabriel he is scared, scared of losing the life they've built, scared of losing Aziraphale. But all he can think of is chucking Gabriel away, while Aziraphale is trying to solve the problem. And this is his fatal flaw, he cannot come to terms with the fact that he cannot run away forever, he needs to step up and confront his issues. He's far more self aware and realistic than Aziraphale, but he cannot for the life of him use that information. This causes them to fight, argue, miscommunicate, and its actively hurting their chances of freedom. Unless he confronts these sides and solves the issue (Armageddon, Gabriel etc) they would have come back to hurt them twice as hard.

At his core he ironically just like Aziraphale, he wants to live in a delusion, a fantasy, a dream. He runs away from the feelings of pain, of hurt, of suffering that comes from heaven, god and now Aziraphale, he refuses to confront it and move past it. He refuses to confront and move past his fall, his trauma. And this is where all his problems stem from.

The First meet:

They meet as he creates the nebula, and he's happy, he is so happy. This is what we get to know of him: he's powerful, he loves what he creates, he is happy. He has a purpose. But then he learns of god's plan, gods plan of taking all that he creates, all that he loves, gods plan of ripping it all to shreds. This is the first time he loses something. And obviously he questions, its ridiculous right? why create this nebula just to destroy it in 6000 years. And Aziraphale warns him, warns him not to question, but why? what is wrong with questioning, what's so wrong in asking a few questions? So he moves on. it's fine, he can convince god, the idea is insane anyway, god isn't that cruel, right? She can't be.

This is the first and last time he trusts god.

The Fall:

the beginnings of trauma, pain and self loathing.

While we don't know why he fell, it's clear how deeply this point in his life affects him, it is his major source of trauma. (I 100% believe that a major point in season 3, will be us learning why Crowley falls)

This is the source of where all his trauma and pain comes from, first he learns he will lose his creations in a mere 6000 years, then he loses his angel-ness. This is the point that changes him entirely, unequivocally, and permanently. He will never trust heaven, god or even hell again, because at this point he's already realized that its all the same. Their just on opposite sides of the same coin, he has already learnt the hard way that god is cruel, god is unfair and god is ruthless. and this, this leads him to become what he is today.

But this causes irreversible trauma, he avoids being vulnerable, he avoids dealing with problems because he knows just how big the issue is so he doesn't even try. Because of it, he grows to loath himself, he treats himself as if he isn't worthy, he simply isn't good enough, his entire being is not enough, not enough for Aziraphale, not enough for anyone. Yes he knows that his fall couldn't be his fault but he still treats himself that way, that somehow because of it he deserves nothing, a common response to a traumatic situation.

This becomes a foundational character trait of him: self loathing. It shows up in many ways, the way he refuses to associate himself with kindness, niceness and being good, his disposition to heaven and his own feelings of being 'unforgivable' makes him this way. Even when he clearly is doing a good thing, he refuses to acknowledge it.

Even if he believes heaven isn't good, it doesn't dispel the feelings of inadequacy, the fear that he will never be good enough for Aziraphale, that because he fell, he is not deserving of love

The Garden of Eden:

This is the second time he meets Aziraphale, a new being, one with experiences that he will spend the rest of his lifetime trying to protect Aziraphale from learning. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that this is the moment Crowley falls for the angel he will meet for another millennia.

He takes an immediate intrigue onto an angel who chooses to disobey god indirectly for the benefit of humanity, he watches an angel who thinks for himself, seemingly unpredictable, and treats him with kindness. He offer shelter of rain he does not understand without a thought, he offers safety, comfort and kindness to a demon. A demon who does not value himself, and yet he treats him like he deserves it. This is how Crowley knows, that there is an angel who isn't like the others, isn't like heaven, an angel that will do what's best for humanity. This one act of kindness is what Crowley will spend the rest of eternity paying back for.

The Flood:

If he had any semblance of trust in heaven in doing 'good' this is the point where its unequivocally gone. While he does see the fall as something not of his fault, a small part of him thinks the opposite even if logically he doesn't believe, but watching god ruthlessly kill off a multitude of people, of children that's his last straw. He cannot fathom the idea of hurting people, people who've done nothing wrong. It ironic really, the 'unforgivable' one has a far greater understanding than god and heaven and even Aziraphale for that matter.

2500 BC: The Story of Job

The beginning of a new dream, of a new side

After watching the flood, his animosity towards heaven only increases day by day but this, this instance exacerbates it. Now not only does heaven kill those who've done nothing wrong, now they want him to punish a man who has done nothing but be faithful to god by killing all that he loves and cares for. time and time again, he is forced to do the dirty work of heaven, just to prove a point.

But this time, Aziraphale is on his side, he questions the morality of this, he in the end goes against god, not indirectly but outright disobeys god. Here, for the first time Crowley sees an opportunity, that maybe, maybe with time and effort they could be on their own side, no more hell, heaven just them (not just the potential agreement, this is the first time he feels like he doesn't have to be alone)

"I'm a demon who goes as far along with hell as I can" -- "But what am I?" "Your just an angel who goes as far along with heaven as you can" "that's sounds um." "Lonely?" -- "But you said it wasn't" "I'm a demon, I lied."

In these two conversations he see's how both of them are so much more similar than they realize, how neither of them fit into either sides of the argument, they are just trying to do their best for humanity, and yes its lonely for him, but he see's how Aziraphale is just like him, he see's that maybe, just maybe there's a chance that they could be together, on their own side. He won't have to lie anymore about being lonely, because Aziraphale will be there.

1827: Edinburgh

At this point there's multiple instances of Aziraphale showing 1 dimensional viewpoints and moving backwards from his thinking and so Crowley tries to change his opinions, in a thinly veiled spectacle, he tries to show Aziraphale that not all 'bad' actions are truly that bad and that if we force humans to be at unequal footing the system just doesn't work. And it does change him a bit, but it can't rid the foundational problems that Aziraphale has, and his denial of heavens issues, that is something he needs to learn for himself, something that Aziraphale will become painfully aware in season 3.

Armageddon and Today:

In the face of Armageddon, he does what he knows best, he tries to run away, away from it all, a place where he and Aziraphale are safe and can be happy. But they wouldn't, they wouldn't be happy, he doesn't realize that he cant run forever and Aziraphale would be miserable if he knew that he could have changed things, and he wouldn't either, he would have to watch as he loses his creations. When he loves something (humanity, the stars, Aziraphale, his Bentley) he loves deep. He prioritizes it over anything else, it makes himself fiercely loyal, protective and immensely caring but also vicious to those that choose to hurt what he loves. And this is a recurring theme, Crowley loses what he loves, time and time again, he was about to lost humanity, he lost Aziraphale (temporarily) and In the end of season 2, he loses Aziraphale again. And this might finally change him, for him to realize he can't just avoid and run away, he needs to deal with his problems head on, he needs to move on from the fall. his own avoidance becomes selfishness and prevents him from helping humanity and solving issues that he understands and empathizes frankly better than Aziraphale. (re: grave digging incident 1827)

And just like running away from Armageddon, he needs to realize that without them spending time away from each other to grow and deal with their personal trauma head on instead of avoiding it, they won't be happy together. This is what will push him to grow, to change.

Growth, the way forward:

In the context of season 2 there is undeniable growth, he becomes far more emotionally vulnerable (which is in stark contrast to Aziraphale who becomes more physically vulnerable, initiating physical intimacy far more in season 2, makes it all the more heart wrenching when Crowley initiates it in the ending, it gives all the wrong reactions, the moment Aziraphale desired the entire season broken because he wanted it to be a happy moment).

In terms of his emotional vulnerability, he obviously finally communicates his feelings and desires for the first time, not with any hidden meaning, or indirectness, just pure honesty, his glasses casted away (a continuous metaphor to how open he is to a character), and also communicating when problems arise (when hell attempts to break in). And while his conversation with Gabriel alone, was all over the place and deeply emotional and frankly manipulative, it has to be said that he is finally showing how he feels, its unlikely he's told anyone this story, to protect Aziraphale.

But he lets it out, he finally lets himself feel the anger and recognizes his own pain, which is a big improvement from "Mr. I didn't fall i just vaguely sauntered down and never gonna talk about it because even I don't really know the reason but it definitely hurts"

He also shows subtle growth in terms of his own self esteem, he moves away from nearly exploding every time someone calls him nice to a more 'eh not really', he allows himself to think that maybe he is capable of being nice, the 4 years away from either side has allowed him to finally start viewing himself as worthy of Aziraphale, that he is enough as he is. So to see the ending from his perspective to see how he interprets Aziraphale asking him to be on his side is heartbreaking, all he can think:

"he wants to change me, I'm not enough, I need to be an angel to be worthy of him, I'm not enough."

In this heightened emotional state he doesn't think of stating actual facts like informing Aziraphale of their actual plan which historically at least stops him in his path to think. But he can't, it hurts to much so he throws anything, every feeling just to hope that Aziraphale will understand. But nothing works, and this might just be the last time he sees his angel, so he kisses him. Frantic and painful trying to show him just how much he feels. Its a desperate act, part of it to convince it but part of it is just selfish, because this might be the last chance he has to do it.

But all he gets is:

"I forgive you.." "Don't bother."

Even in his weakest state, thrown back into his feelings of inadequacy, he does not back down. The "I forgive you" line played through the centuries doesn't seem to mean forgiveness in a literal sense. Its Aziraphale's coded speech he loves using, to forgive is a disagreeing with him but not talking about it, pretending it didn't happen, a distancing tactic, yes I feel it too but lets pretend. His fear only lets him use code, when he flirts, its subtle. This is one of the many dances they do with each other. But this time, Crowley walks away, he finally ends this century long waltz around around each other.

He refuses to apologize for his feelings, for his opinions. And that is such an evident moment of self growth, that he will no longer apologize for being a demon and not wanting to be an angel, for refusing to change who he is and his feelings.

Season 3 will be undeniably hard on him, after losing everything (from the beginning of time to now) it will be the push he needs to stop avoiding his problems (which leads him to become selfish and unable to help humanity) and make a real change, he will confront his own trauma and finally be able to move past it. It will be hard but the reward for it will be worth it, finally they can be together.

note: Pt.2 on the fall, the trauma, coping mechanisms and thinly veiled metaphors coming tomorrow (hopefully)

Note 2: might make a post on 'forgiveness' from Aziraphale, because it is a tactic to distance, sometime remind that he still loves him and not leave any animosity but also he must be aware that it hurts him (and it could be on purpose)

#good omens #gos2 #aziraphale #good omens 2 #crowley #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #far too long and honestly a disservice to call it a shitpost #there might be one more post about the actions to each other #more to come in the next post about him because CLEARLY 2.5 k words ISNT enough #he might just be able to finally move past his trauma that he realizes his plants are a thinly veiled coping mechanism.#More details on trauma and coping mechanisms coming tomorrow (hopefully)#“everyday I'm getting closer to talking a bath with my toaster” - Crowley 2023

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turtleblogatlast · 1 month

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My rambling is always cut off by the tag limits 😔

#you know what I’m saying it here since the tags cut me off #the pink brand shirt was cute actually #it was the sweatband that made it bad #and the tucking in of the shirt #if that wasn’t included it’s a cute look that I see people wear all the time plz I’m begging #Leo isn’t bad at this he just goes too far 😭#and also #I love how Mikey actually has a similar eye for this as Donnie #their disguise hoodies are even identical #which makes sense as they are the more hands on artistic people in the fam just in different ways #alternatively Donnie GAVE Mikey the hoodie which is just as good if not better #but yeah as i was writing prev post I started thinking about the popular ideas of Leo’s style and such and was like man #people always go one or the other for him #plz he’s not a frat boy he really really isn’t 😭#idk it just kinda bothers me when people wave away the fact that his face man status isn’t just pushed by himself but by others too?#*incoherent muttering*#I could write an essay on this but I feel like that would be too long winded even for me kdkdkd

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the-red-thread-that-strangles · 3 months

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Alright. Let's talk about Akai's and Furuya's fighting styles, control, and the ferris wheel fight, featuring some tangents on professionalism.

The second reason is the implied: Akai is (in general, probably not in this situation, because he is going along with the fight Rei wants) a professional, and professionals do not fight. A professional will either ambush or assassinate (you know, like the sniping Akai is so well-known for), and generally do everything in his power to avoid a fight. It's about gaining the advantage, pressing and keeping it, to maintain control over the situation. For comparison, fights are between people of roughly equal footing, and fighting follows rules. As a person who lives in the world of actual violence, Akai does not need the fancy dances of a fighting sport, he needs his rifles, guns, and a self-defense technique for when things go really bad and personal. (Incidentally, a professional will also plan, won't let his emotions get in the way, stay calm, and keep working in bad conditions - we also see these traits in Akai.) I can remember two instances of Akai fighting (there might be more)- the ferris wheel fight, and the one time he knocked out the people after Yumi (and arguably, they didn't really have a chance and it wasn't really a fight). Other than that, he's just coordinating and providing tactical support.

Akai using Jeet Kune Do for fighting is an interesting choice. It's not as well-known as many other fighting styles (hell, it's not even a fighting style, it's a self defense technique and really more of a philosophy or a principle), but it has a couple of key values that characterize him well. First off, it's hugely individualistic. Practitioner's are encouraged to find their own way, to find what works for them, which really is Akai in a nutshell, doing what he wants. Secondly, it is described as a highly efficient way to fight. There are few, if any, rules to Jeet Kune Do, you're expected to use whatever technique will help you the most in the moment. For this reason, it is also highly adaptable, and requires an appropriate mindset to use. This latter point, I think, really mirrors the approach the FBI has in the series - do what you need to in order to get the results we want, at whatever the cost.

The fact that it's a self defense technique is important for two reasons: one is the immediate one for our context - Akai's defending himself from an angry Rei on the ferris wheel.

With all that out of the way, let's get into the ferris wheel fight, and what we learn about them there.

For contrast, let's look at Rei. It's almost funny how little professionalism Rei has compared to Akai, when it comes to the world they're living in. Rei's choice of fighting style is boxing, and he's practicing a rather straightforward, aggresive version, with barely any defense, at great personal risk. That point about professionals not letting their emotions get in their way? Well, either Rei has never heard it, or he's deliberately ignoring it. Either way, it really holds him back from gaining and maintaing control.

(I would be remiss not to point out that boxing is also done for show, fitting for this show-off.)

Boxing might honestly be good for Rei in order get out his anger and to up his pain tolerance, but for the purpose of keeping him alive, it sucks. It's up close, it's personal, and it's dirty (that tagline might as well describe Furuya himself). A threat who's gotten into that range is already a problem. Sure, usually - though not in this instance - he's also got his handgun, with its limited reach, limited firepower. For his purposes, it might suffice - he's not supposed to be a fighter, and the advantage of his gun is in its concealability. I suppose he gets a couple points in professionalism for that choice, and for often bringing back-up, whether he's working for the PSB or the BO. For what it's worth, he's also likely trained in Kendo or something similar, as we see in Wild Police Story, but he doesn't really use it. We see Rei fighting rarely, but it happens; with Matsuda at the beginning of WPS, casually inflicting violence on a kidnapper, and now here on the ferris wheel.

It's so interesting to me how they interact here.

Despite both of them bleeding, it starts to feel like Akai is in control, or at least not dated by the fighting - he gets Rei good with Jeet Kune Do's signature One Inch Punch, but has enough presence of mind to casually grabs him so he doesn't fall to his death (which gets him shoved off with a foot. Give Furuya an inch, and he'll try to take your head). Furuya's meanwhile clearly enjoying himself, might have even entered the zone, a sort of battlejoy/trance, asking for a second round (here we go again, this is a fight, with certain rules, like rounds), and Akai, well, he's beaten up, but it doesn't look like he'd surrender to get Furuya off his back - despite it being an option that would end the fight early. We see both of them smiling at points in this exchange, and I think it speaks to both of them, inherently, being thrillseekers. Putting all they are into the outcome of this fight against a dangerous enemy is a thrilling brush with mortality.

Them fighting at all, on top of the ferris wheel, is stupid, plain and simple. They expect the BO to show up any minute, and they'd better be in peak condition - instead they indulge in this fight. Really, it's Rei launching himself at Akai, who's mostly dodging and defending where necessary (I say indulge, because he is armed, and could probably escalate/end the fight early). Fights happen for a variety of reasons, usually social (because otherwise we'd be talking about violence, not a fight), and this implies Rei sees Akai as roughly equal/wants him to have a fair fighting chance, following the social contract of announcing his presence. He launches the attack, takes the initiative but the distance is so large, and he telegraphs his intentions clearly enough that his advantage is minimal.

Akai has the distinct disadvantage of carrying his rifle case, protecting its contents, because he'll need them later. He is, as the series lets us know, a capable fighter (described stronger as Masumi, who can deal with Ran, an established capable martial artist), and we can see it in this fight. He's reading Rei's movements and blocking most of the hits - for what it's worth, Rei's style seems more focused on quantity of attacks over quality. He does get Akai with some unconventional angles of attack (like swinging up into a kick from falling), and mostly this initial struggle is about them fighting for control.

When we cut back to the fight, they're still at it. I find it interesting that Akai tries to talk Rei down throughout the fight. Because the presence of mind necessary to form coherent sentences in a fight is not nothing, and the fact that he at least tries to go for a different solution is noteworthy, even if it is ultimately useless.

Then Conan calls Akai. This is in a small pause to the fight, because, surprise surprise, fighting takes effort (another reason professionals avoid it). It is really funny to me how Rei respects the rules of a fight, but he also sees an opportunity in his opponent's distraction, and seizes it (at the cost of also throwing himself down into a chasm, the self-sacrificial bastard).

Only at this point does it feel like Akai is taking the fight more seriously. I'd wager this is a) because Rei has displayed the willingness to destroy himself to take Akai with him, b) due to the enclosed space - less space to dodge and c) because at least he is aware time is ticking. They're both injured, and the enemy is coming soon. This fight better be over quick.

They only don't fight each other to the death because of Conan's timely intervention. He calls to Akai for help, and just like that, the conflict is resolved, for now. Akai wordlessly rejects Rei's request for a second round, which Rei just...accepts. Allows Akai that level of control, and the control of the flow of information (namely, they don't tell Conan they've been at it). It baffles me, but then again, I suppose it is a fight, the fight has rules, and, clearly, something more important takes precedence. Then again, this whole damn exchange makes no logical sense. Rei has sworn bloody revenge on Akai, who just saved his life today, and instead of doing something about the BO they're fighting a little. Logic is nowhere to be seen, all of this is emotional. On both sides.

I guess bonus points in professionalism for working together for the rest of the rest of the movie, even if they're sharing intel with/depending on a literal child for the solutions to their problem. It's a very unusual set of circumstances indubitably not covered by their training, granted, so what can you do (I'd still love for the adults in this universe to do their job, sue me).

Last point of note for the movie, in my opinion, is Akai waiting after all the chaos is over for Rei to spot him. Is this a case of checking in and simultaneously showing that he, too, made it out alive? He is clearly noticed by Rei, and only then walks away. And Rei just lets him. Akai is in control, in the end.

#Akai is genuinely the more capable agent and I'm not surprised they've made a movie about him #I could carry on about how Akai-as-Okiya knows how to play his cover and avoid attention. even going as far as to retrieve KID's photos.#whereas Amuro lives a little too much in the limelight and certainly too close to the police who might have some people who knew him #he of course gets waaay more capable when his emotions don't blind him #but that would only be half the fun wouldn't it?#anyways. this post is brought to you by me rewatching the insanity that is m20 #there are so many questions for this. chiefly: why was Akai even parked in front of the police HQ during Curacao's break-in #I have accepted the NOC list (insanely dangerous as it is) as a means to avoid the tragedy of Scotch and thus no longer question it #but yeah. how did people know curacao would strike that night?#also that fight is so cool but makes so little sense. very good characterization #we should really have been allowed to keep curacao #I guess she was too powerful #anyways #iris' late night rambles #akai shuichi #furuya rei #iris watches dcmk #long post

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