Teach Me How To Love In Your Own Lyrics

(Part 10)

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Once again, the adrenaline (among other things) was running through their veins. This show was particularly nerve-racking, after his little speech. Now, he wasn’t 100% sure, but he didn’t think Steve was here. Plus, he probably would have spotted a polo amongst all the leather. Robin, on the other hand, was here. She had the tendency to run her mouth a bit, so even if Steve wasn’t here, he’d know what he had said. Which was scary. But it didn’t matter. Even if it did, he had said it first. As he approached the last song, he started to really hope he wasn’t here. God. Who writes a song about someone, makes it popular, and doesn’t even tell the person? Creepy. He knew Steve would catch on immediately if he heard it. As he strummed the last note and everyone said their little ending bit, he ran. He was excited. Mainly nervous. But very excited.

“Dude, try to stay on the ground, okay?” He’d been bouncing up and down while carrying their stuff to the bus.

“Sorry, just excited.”

“We could tell. Now go put this up,” Jeff said, handing him a speaker, “then you can find your lover.” Normally, Eddie would make a comment or roll his eyes, but he currently did not have the time. He sprinted (probably the fastest he’s ever gone on foot in his life) to the bus and set the speaker down. He paced to the front of the bus to grab the gift bags and his personal bag, and fled. He walked back and forth looking for someone he knew. Steve, Robin, Vickie, literally anyone who looked like they didn’t belong at a metal concert. He tried to stay closer to the back of the building, so he wouldn’t get harassed. Fortunately, only one girl noticed him.

“Eddie!” Someone yelled from behind him. He immediately knew the voice.

“Robin!” He spun around and ran towards her. He wasted no time (besides setting down the bags as carefully as humanly possible) in giving her a bone-shattering hug.

“That was amazing!”

“Thanks!” He said pulling away, “Wow. I’m back. I am so happy to be back.”

“We’re happy for you to be back!” It took him a moment for him to process the “we”. As in someone else was here. He turned around to see Steve. And oh my lord. No wonder he didn’t spot him. At this point, he was just shamelessly gawking at the man. He looked… hot. He looked really hot.

He slowly approached him, like he would disappear if he moved too quickly. Steve giggled at the reaction, “Hi Eddie.” Yep. He’s real. Good. He practically tackled him as wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck.

“Hi,” he backed up for a split second to admire him. “I’m so glad you came. I missed you.”

“Really?” Steve whispered.

“Yeah really,” he said, moving away (for real this time).

“Well, I’m glad you’re here too.”

“Jesus Christ, get a room,” Robin rolled her eyes walking around them. She turned around when she noticed they weren’t following, “You want a place to sleep tonight or not?” she said, jingling Steve’s keys.

“Woah! Nope. Not happening. Give them to me,” he said, running to her and reaching for the keys. Eddie grabbed his bags and followed behind.

“Wasn’t going to. Just wanted you to hurry up,” she said, throwing the keys directly at his face (which with some miracle, he caught).

“Hey, Robin? Where’s Vickie?”

“Sick,” she said, giving Steve the weirdest smirk. There’s a story behind that, he knows. He doesn’t want to dig for it though. They all decided to skip to the car (bad idea by the way. Every single one of them fell at least once) to entertain themselves. Once they made it, Eddie immediately sprawled out in the backseat.

Since Steve was driving, he figured he could give Robin his little gift now. “Oi! Duck beak!”

“That’s a new one. How creative,” she said flatly, “yes Edison?”

“Here,” he said, tossing the bag gently to the passenger seat. He watched as Robin slowly opened it, glancing back at Eddie every 5 seconds.

“Oh. Thanks?” He saw a hoodie with a rainbow on it when he was in Seattle, and immediately bought it for her. Steve glanced over and bursted out laughing.

“Y’a know, when I saw it I knew I had to get it for you. I feel like it really represents you as a person,” he said while making dramatic hand gestures.

“Ah,” she sighed before breaking out in a huge grin, “it’s so truly lovely. Thank you, Eddie.”

“My pleasure birdie. And Steve I do have something for you so don’t get all jealous. I do not advocate distracted driving.” It was nice. The faint music coming from the radio, the breeze going through his hair as he rested his head against the car door, and the presence of Steve and Robin. It was nice being with them again. He missed this. “So what did y’a do when I was gone? Let’s see, on a scale of one to ten how much did you guys miss me?”

“About a twelve,” Steve said at exactly the same time as robin said, “easy, negative twenty five .”

“Aww, thanks Stevie,” Steve’s face twisted in a really weird smirk, grin, I’m-trying-really-hard-not-to-cry thing that Eddie honestly didn’t want to know what meant. “And Robin, wow, really know the way to make a man feel good.”

He spent the rest of the ride rambling (Robin style) about his shows. He beamed at every little detail of the tour so far. (“I swear! She was there! Phone Cates in the flesh!” “There’s no way. Because if you did I’d have an autograph in my hand right now.” “Yeah and if we even believed you for a second you would be sleeping on the streets tonight and you know it,” Robin added.)

“Here we are!,” Steve announced as they pulled up to their house. They all hopped out of the car and walked (in Robin’s case, skipped again, because absolutely nothing could go wrong) to the door.

“Damn Buckley, I really believed that you’d change that wallpaper by the time I got back. Tsk tsk,” Eddie sighed as they walked into the house. Their wallpaper wasn’t that bad. It only was used in the walkway (which was barely four feet). It was a deep blue with white specs that were supposed to be stars.

“What’s wrong with the wallpaper?,” Robin gasped “The old lady who lived here was, like, super into ‘witchy stuff’, and said it brought good luck for whatever reason,” she turned around and held out her hand, “She took one look at my palm and told me that I was going to die in a quote ‘very interesting and eventful way’. So that's fun I guess.”

“Super fun,” Steve muttered as he pushed her through the entryway.

“Awww,” Robin said looking at the couch. They looked over to see Vickie dead asleep on the couch, with a cat (oh my god is this little thing, Ozzy?!?!) on top of her. He didn’t know why she thought it was cute, she was snoring. Loudly (that is very hypocritical coming from him). “If either of you wakes her, or the cat, you will not live to see another day.”

“Dude it’s my cat,” he walked over to the couch slowly and tried to take the cat.

“Steven,” Roin hissed, “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“Jesus, sorry,” he muttered, “That's not even my name.”

“Hey, uh, Robin?” Eddie whispered.

“Yes, Edward?”

“Also not my name. but, um, wasn’t I supposed to sleep on the couch?”

“Oh. Yeah. you can crash with steve. Or me I guess if you really want. But fair warning I will probably kick you. Several times. Repeatedly. You will be-”

“I think I get the memo, Rob. I'll sleep with Steve, it's fine.” He realized his poor wording when

Steve choked on air. “Is that so?” Robin raised her eyebrows.

“No! I’m not going to sleep with Steve! I meant I was going to sleep in bed with Steve. Wait- no. I was going to go to sleep while Steve also slept. In the same bed.” Steve was bright red, and he knew he probably was too. Robin just stared at him with a wide grin. He groaned, “Nevermind. I am going to bed. Whether Steve follows is up to him,” he said waving a hand at him.

He walked into the room and set his things down. He could hear Steve and Robin trying to quietly argue, so he quickly changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt while he had the room to himself. He felt like he needed to do something to pass the time or he was going to go insane. He grabbed his stuff and started digging through it. He reached for Steve’s gift and set it on the bed next to him, then continued to search. He finally landed on a pack of wet wipes and moved to the standing mirror. He started (very aggressively for no reason other than he thought it would make it go by faster) removing his eye makeup. He always ends up smearing it somehow all over his face, just making it worse. 12 wipes later, his face was back to its natural beauty. He then proceeded to look himself up and down (full head nod and everything) at least 15 times. He looks like a rat. A literal rat. And oh no, Steve can not see him like this. He tossed and ran his fingers through his hair until it looked halfway (keyword: halfway) decent. He smiled at himself in the mirror, straightening his clothes trying to make himself look presentable. As he was doing so, he realized he hadn’t brushed his teeth today. At all. He breath checked in his hand and Jesus Christ. He could hear the two settle down outside the room so he didn’t have time to do anything. Unless…? He ran to his bag and grabbed the first thing he thought could work. Which happened to be perfume (shut up, cologne smells absolutely horrid and it will be going nowhere near his body). He uncapped it as he heard Steve approach the door. He panicked and sprayed it directly into his mouth. ohmygodohmyGODjesusfuckingchrist that burns like a bitch. He threw the bottle down and sprung up as Steve walked in.

…

“...Hi?”

“Are you okay?” Steve said, slowly approaching him. Wow. kinda unfair that this man can just walk up to him looking like that while he looks like a RAT.

“Yup mhm never better,” he said, red-eyed. “How have you been?” he said in an attempt to change the topic.

“Alright, I guess. Lonely.” He sounded so sad. He wished he could just kiss him square on the mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. it's not your fault. Plus, I guess having a hypothetical cat has helped,” he giggled. He blushed and looked at the ground before stepping closed to Eddie, “Hey, I, uh, really really loved that song. Invisible man right?”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to say that. It was super weird of me to do, and I didn’t even tell you! Way out of line. I feel horrible Turing your confession into a song Steve I’m really-”

“Stop. I meant it. It was- beautiful honestly. Really poetic too. Im kinda honored,” he blushed, “It’s also a great ego booster to know I was inspiration for a top selling song.” Thirteen actually. Thirteen songs based off this man. (4 of which were written purely about his ass.)

“I need that on an award or something. ‘Eddie Munson is so cool and poetic’- Steve Harrington, 1993”

“Now that’s a bit of a stretch,” he grinned, “Oh right! I have something for you,” he walked over and opened the small closet to pull out a bag.

Oh. Steve hadn’t even left yet he bought him a gift. He pointed at his chest, “For me? Really?”

“Yes really. Here open it,” he said, placing the bag in front of him on the bed.

“Wait, here,” he turned around and grabbed Steve’s gift, “For you kind sir,” he said bowing down.

He laughed and grabbed the bag, “Why thank you!”

“You should go first. It’s stupid and I honestly don’t think you’ll like it.”

“Doubt it,” he sat on the bed next to Eddie and took the tissue paper out of the bag. He had gotten him a bunch of patches for his vest.

“I know it’s dumb. I got one at every stop on the tour because they all had them for some reason. I just saw one and remembered seeing the vest one day at your house and thought, ‘hey maybe Steve wears it cause why else would he have kept that nasty jacket’, and here you are so you know-”

“Eddie,” he shushed him. He was beaming at the gift and looked like he was on the verge of tears. “I really love it, thank you.” Steve held his arms out and wrapped him in a tight hug. This is what he really missed. Steve’s presence. His warmness. The way anytime he walked into a room he immediately felt happy. Like he could breathe again.

“Uh yeah of course. It suits you, by the way.”

“Yeah?” Steve whispered pulling back.

“Definitely,” he grinned. “I’m really loving this whole look,” he winked.

“I hoped so. Robin convinced me to go ‘further out than normal’, you know? I mean like with the fake ear piercing and stuff,” he said gesturing to the stick-on gemstones on his face.

“What do you mean ‘than normal’?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Oh, I guess I- uh- dress like this sometimes. To go to bars and stuff.”

“Damn Steve, you’ve been holding out on me.”

“Lucky for you, I kinda like it. Now, I believe it’s your turn,” he pushed the gift even closer to him, “and please be honest with me. If it’s too much or too weird let me know and we can act like this never happened.” He gave Steve a questioning look before grabbing the first item on top (which by the way, first?? There are way too many gifts in here. Now he feels horrible. This man is way too good for him).

When he pulled it out it was a smaller bag. “Hmm let me guess, is it another bag?” he said while he pulled the drawstrings.

“Shut up and open it.” Inside the bag was a pick. It was painted with a wide variety of colors and what looks like an attempt to draw a dragon.

He laughed to try to cover up the fact that he was probably about to cry, “Stevie, it’s amazing. Very beautiful, you should be an art teacher.”

“Thanks, I’ll talk to the principal.” Eddie laughed and stared at the ceiling to blink back his tears (which if he was completely honest, were still partly from the perfume). “Dude, don’t get all mushy, this is only the first one.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s only going to get worse from here.” He reached down into the bag and pulled out a mixtape. He flipped it over and read Steve’s track list on the back. “Oh Harrington, these songs are… horrendous,” he looked over at him with a smirk.

“I know you love it,” he said leaning closer and returning the smirk.

He sighed, “I do. Thank you.”

“Mhm,” he nodded back at the bag.

“You spoil me, man.”

“You deserve it.” Jesus. Okay, now he’s blushing. Like an embarrassing amount. The next item he pulled out was a ring tray, which had also been beautifully painted. “That goes with the next gift,” he pointed at the bottom of the bag.

He looked in the bag and saw that it was a ring box. A very expensive-looking ring box. He pulled it out and held it in his hand, “you proposing already?”

“Nah, feel like I should wait ‘til at least the second date for that.”

“Are you asking me out? And already promising a second. Wow. Power move,” he joked. Because that’s all he could do right?

Steve blushed, “if that’s okay, yeah I am.”

Is this real life? He pinched himself before wincing. Yep. Real. Wow. “Uh- yeah of course. I’d really like that.” He smiled.

“Good,” Steve reached forwards and opened the box inside Eddie’s hands. The ring was absolutely beautiful.

“Steve- I- I don’t know what to say,” he stuttered, “it’s perfect. I love it.” I love you. He was definitely crying now. Every last detail of the ring and the man that gifted it was perfect. In every way, shape, and form.

“Here,” Steve said, taking the ring from Eddie and grabbing his hand, “we should finish this proposal off right.” He slid the ring onto Eddie’s finger (and he wasn’t, couldn’t be, disappointed that it wasn’t the ring finger). He looked at the ring on his hand before intertwining their fingers.

“Stevie,” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Ed’s?” Steve said, using his free hand to tuck Eddie’s hair behind his ear.

He couldn’t find words. He was totally blanking. He just nodded like a fool before leaning in. And he kissed him. He really, finally did. It was… magic. It was the only word that he ended up finding. It was fucking magical. Time all of a sudden wasn’t right for him. It was either too fast in the moment or really slow. Either way, he’d never know. Magic.

When they pulled away, he just shook his head again. “What toothpaste do you use?”

“What?” He asked, brain still foggy from everything that just happened.

“You taste good.” Jesus Christ. This man doesn’t have a filter. Way to kill a man my god. (If this was how he died, he’d be pleased.)

“That I will never tell.” These two weeks would not go by fast enough.

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Next

Another Eddie pov! Oh em goodness we did it. The happy little gay boys smooched. Yip yip. Is this part shorter or longer than normal? Honestly can’t tell. Thank you soso much for reading this (you’ve made it a long way, congrats ig). Ik i said I’d write another fic but honestly I don’t feel like it. But I’d love to see it written so hmu if your down with writing a crappy fic idea <3 lastly three rules of this fic: one- we don’t talk about how different the indentations are. I regret putting them in the first place, but I can’t just stop now or I’ll go insane :). Two- I am aware I overuse italicizations. Three- there is probably so many grammar and spelling errors to the point I don’t even care anymore. anyways y’all comment or reblog if you want to be tagged. I’m sorry if I didn’t tag you just lmk and I’ll add you to the list!

Tag list: @asbealthgn @queerbeansworld @bird-with-pencils @vecnuthy @artiststarme (ty for being amazing <3 u) @captain-winter-wolf-aehs @piningapplewitch @rowendyss @steve-themom-harrington @lfaewrites @azreadytodie @thequeenrainacorn @pastel-dreamscape @importanttimemachinenerd @jehneeg @swagaliciousmarie @mightbeasleep @krazyperson @milkshakeflowercreator @fando-random @bumblebeecuttlefishes @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @fluffyreturns @scheodingers-muppet @wonderland-girl143-blog @briceslayed @youaremylobster @juststeddiebrainrot @pr3ttyb0yindie @scarlet-pandrian @drips-from-breaking-bones @plasticcrotches

Jesus that’s a lot of people I’m honestly concerned

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

People I’d like to know better: Tag Game :)

Who I was tagged by: @xxbuildyourowndisasterxx

Last song: End of Beginning by Djo

Currently watching: hockey (duh!), One Tree Hill, RPDR season 16

Spicy/savoury/sweet: My massive sweet tooth only makes one of these answers acceptable.

Relationship status: Single, as the good lord intended.

Current obsession: Luke Hughes, PWHL ottawa, women’s basketball, Hot Girls Hockey, Caitlin Clark, Wallows, Ariana Grande’s new album, Tate McRae, One Tree Hill

Who I want to get to know better: @loverjareau @mirrorballhughes @sirjaybobobka @lhugh43

No pressure!!

You are the kindest sweetest person @gvfpal for tagging me <3

last song:

last movie: I watched the Nun last night! It was ~okay~ but really I only watched it so I could go with my friends to see the second one

currently reading/ last read: I've read about 3 pages of the Hobbit, but got distracted so idk if that counts. My last book was Daisy Jones & the Six (which I loved).

currently watching: Rewatching American Horror Story (only seasons 1-5) and finally made it to Asylum last night

current obsession(s): umm well Greta duh, crocheting, and I've been trying to knock a bunch of movies off my watchlist lately.

Tagging: (So sorry plz just ignore if you've been tagged, I'm just going to tag the people I see/interact w most!)

@jakekiszkasbuttsweat @piratejakey @giraffehippy @wetkleenex-gvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @alwaysonthemend @gretavansara @takenbythemadness and whoever else wants to do this consider this me tagging you :)

Would Eddie Munson like the songs on my playlist?

Except I have what many would consider questionable taste at best and believe that people, even metalheads, can like more than one music genre. No idea if this is a modern au or an everybody lives au or what because it’s a mess but I digress. 18 and Life - Skid Row Duh.  Loves Sebastian Bach-- maybe a little bit too much. 1985 - Bowling for Soup Yeah, the nostalgia train hit modern Munson hard with this one.  Not his style of music but loves the references. Alone - Heart Secretly.  Belts it out in the car. And So It Goes - Billy Joel Probably not a Joel fan, but he, like, gets it. As It Was - Harry Styles Though I think it’s possible that he would like some Styles songs, he’d think that this one is commercial music. Babooshka - Kate Bush Yes.  A resounding yes.  An unashamed, unabashed yes. The Best Things Happen While You’re Dancing - Danny Kaye Not really his style.  “Old people music.” Blackbird - The Beatles The first song he learned on guitar.  For sure a soft spot. Black Dog - Led Zeppelin Though not metal, Zepp was his first foray into “heavier” music. Blessings - Chance the Rapper Though I’m in the minority that thinks Eddie would develop a healthy appreciation for rap, Chance would not be one of those rappers. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen Yeah, Eddie loves Queen.  Argue with your mom.  Freddie is a hero of his and he loves Roger’s vocals as well. Brush Up Your Shakespeare - Kiss Me Kate No musicals.  God no. The Chain - Fleetwood Mac I honestly don’t think he’s given Fleetwood Mac much thought one way or another.  Like, it’s not really his style of music, but if someone were to say it was their favorite band he’d probably just be like, “Oh.  Cool!” Chateau (Feel Alright) - Djo Maybe as a high jam.  Maybe. Crazy Crazy Nights - KISS No.  Hates KISS.  Could get the same message from about 10 other, better songs. Dreams - Fleetwood Mac See number 13.  Maybe the soundtrack to an acid trip he had once. Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John and Kiki Dee Hates it, but definitely got pulled into a drunken karaoke rendition once (he was Kiki.  Steve was Elton). Drive My Car - The Beatles Meh.  He gets that they’re The Beatles and he respects that, but he’s not going out of his way to listen. Falling - Harry Styles No.  Respects the “I’m well aware I write too many songs about you” line, though. Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen Once wrote an entire DnD one-shot where all of the characters and places were inspired by songs.  The Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy made his appearance as an NPC. Glory of Love - Peter Cetera Would strangle Peter Cetera with his bare hands if he could. Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar Definitely just me projecting, but I think Eddie loves powerful women voices.  Whether you read him as being attracted to women or not I think he just *clenches fist* loves women. Home Sweet Home - Motley Crue Yeah, dude loves Crue.  Wants to be Mick Mars, especially after injuries sustained in the Upside Down. Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton John Go-to drunk karaoke song.  Will never hear him admit to being a Grease fan outside of this context, but is definitely a comfort movie of his (he is, obviously, more of a Rizzo fan than a Sandy fan, but he’s a drama queen before all else and nothing says drama more than “Hopelessly.”). I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts Please picture with me, if you will, a Corroded Coffin gig.  Eddie has just gotten into a fight with his significant other (a small one, probably a misunderstanding, but Eddie is dramatic and loves and opportunity to “suffer for his art”).  He knows they’ll be there.  They never miss a show.  So here comes Eddie, all eyeliner, leather, and angst, and they open with this.  Of course, immediately after the gig it’s “I’m sorry baby,” and “You were amazing up there,” and all is forgiven. I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers I think every single Stranger Things character would find the parallels between their lives and this song to be too uncanny not to like this song. I’m in Love with My Car - Queen Uh, yeah.  Especially mechanic Eddie.  He’d tie his hair back and have this song blasting, singing along while he looks under the hood. Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin This song is pure feral energy, just like Eds. I Punched Keanu Reeves - Hello Peril While hilarious (iykyk), no.  He has an emotional attachment to Bill and Ted. Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry Yes.  Is actively upset that Back to the Future tried to erase Chuck Berry’s genius by implying a white kid gave him the idea for this song. Killer Queen - Queen Favorite Queen song by far. Let’s Hear It for the Boy - Deniece Williams Does not like a single song from it, but actually really enjoyed Footloose.  An oppressive small town, a guy who likes heavier music… so sue him, he identifies. Light My Love - Greta Van Fleet I love him, but Eddie would totally be a “Greta Van Fleet is a Led Zeppelin rip off” truther; man would listen to a single song and go off about authenticity and corporate bullshit before literally never giving them another chance again. Neighbors - J. Cole I genuinely think Eddie would be very stereotypically “I hate rap” for most of his teens and early twenties, but I think eventually he’d grow to appreciate any type of fight through music, especially protest songs, which this is. Norwegian Wood - The Beatles This is the perfect campfire song, and I think if you could convince Eddie to go acoustic for a weekend and go camping, this would be the first song he’d learn. Paranoid - Black Sabbath Eddie canonically likes Sabbath, so I would hope he likes one of their best singles.  Is definitely on every “Intro to Metal” mixtape he’s ever made for his friends. Running Up That Hill (A Deal with God) - Kate Bush Pretty indifferent to it pre-Max.  Now has a mixtape of everyone’s favorite songs.  He carries it everywhere.  Also learned it on guitar and plays it at the hospital when and if his name is cleared and he’s allowed in. Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) - Elton John “Token good Elton song,” according to him. Scarborough Fair/Canticle - Simon and Garfunkel Definitely something he would base a campaign off of. Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos As with every other DnD nerd, regardless of music preference, he fixates on it.  Is the source of at least half of his LoTR/Ren Faire/DnD fantasies (the softer, less badass ones he doesn’t talk about).  Refuses to believe it’s Jesus music. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus Are you kidding?  This song is basically an autobiographical account of his life if/when he had a crush on anyone in a different friend group.

Kutukan Maha Berat

untuk enggak pake standar orang lain dalam nulis ilmiah--tesis--tuh enggak gampang sebagaimana saran orang-orang. bawaannya, ngeliat tulisan orang yang struktur kalimatnya oke, nilai kebaruannya udah jelas djos, kutipan yang enggak terkesan tempel-tempel saja, analisis yang tajam--tapi tetep sih enggak bakalan bisa buat motong hewan kurban mah--, menggoda untuk juga dibayangkan kalau saya juga punya kemampuan menulis seperti itu. tapi, ini juga yang dirasa jadi penghambat utama. keinginan yang melambung, kemampuan yang ecek-ecek. paduan yang sempurna menjadi teman setia bagi sifat malas dan menunda. duh. kecenderungan perpeksionis tanpa diimbangi dengan kerja keras dan sabar adalah kutukan yang sungguh berat buat ditanggung. meminjam petikan lirik salah satu lagunya Wali, “nenek bilang kuat-kuat.”

Cikondang, 3 Desember 2021, 14.45 WIB

This is what i listened to for the first two months of 2021. I will start putting them here instead😋



03/01- Goosebumps by Boyscott. So good! it’s chill and sounds nice but still makes me bop my head like crazy. My fav song from this album is Nova Scotia 500.

03/02- Sorry, Mom by Destroy Boys. It’s fun and cool ig. 7/10 girl band

03/03- The Jins by The Jins. 8/10

03/04- Circles by Mac Miller. 8/10

03/05- 4 Your Eyez Only by J. Cole. 10/10 fav song: Ville Mentality.

03/06- Future Teenage Cave Artist by Deerhoof. definitely experimental and groovy.. 7/10

03/07- Blue Suicide by Coma Cinema. nice and chill... 7/10

03/08- Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. lots of noise... it’s definitely something. listen when u want to feel like the only person alive and powerful... 7/10

03/09- By the Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers. awesome 9/10.

03/10- Tungsten by Healy. 10/10 chill and a good vibe. love it.

03/11- Beat by Bowery Electric. ehh. very chill not much lyrics nice beat ig. 5/10

03/12- Brick Body Kids Still Daydream by Open Mike Eagle. Very nice i liked it 8/10

03/13- EP! by JPEGMAFIA. it was okay. 6/10. hip hop eccentric?

03/14- The Bedroom Loop Collection by Sweatcult. 9/10. incredible.

03/15- Aestheticadelica by Bloodbath64 / TV Girl. i love to girl so 8/10

03/16- Blue by Joni Mitchell. 7/10. chill and relaxing. her voice is pleasing.

03/17- Twenty Twenty by Djo. underrated def 9/10. never heard of the artist until today but i’m glad i know now...

03/18- Below the Heavens by Blu and Exile. Nice rap album but it’s good rap. 7/10

03/19- Dummy by Portishead. chill good songs love it. 7/10

03/20- Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana Del Ray. nice chill slow songs. fav song is Tulsa Jesus Freak. 7/10

03/21- Pod by The Breeders. nice alt rock. 7/10

03/22- Is This It by The Strokes. 8/10. i like it

03/23- I’m Sure by Harmless. 8/10. nice chill vibes

03/24- Wonderer by Sunbeam Sound Machine. IM OBSESSED. it’s so good omg. 10/10

03/25- High Society by Enon. funky i like it. it’s good and fun to listen to. 8/10

03/26-Bloodsport by Sneaker Pimps. 7/10 fav song is Kiro TV, Small Town Witch. it’s a fun album

03/27- Lazy Ways/Beach Party by Marine Girls. cute songs love them. 9/10 nice and chill too

03/28- Puberty 2 by Mitski. it was calm like most of her music. I liked it. 7/10

03/29- Live through this by Hole. 7/10 niceeeee. love the vibes ofc

03/30- Deep Divine by Pretty Sick. never heard of it but i’m glad i did bc i love it. 8/10

03/31- Hell Can Wait by Vince Staples. 6/10. it was alr not my type kinda repetitive

04/01- Underwater Pipe Dreams by Inner Wave. i love it! 9/10 bangers after bangers. chill vibes.

04/02- Coloring Book by Chance the Rapper. 7/10 it started off good but some of the songs aren’t really my taste. but the first couple songs really had me hype, i enjoyed it.

04/03- Fuck Your Expectations PT. 1 by AG Club. 6/10 it was alr. rap

04/04- My Head is a Moshpit by Verzache. 7/10 i like it it’s different

04/05- Street Desires by Gap Girls. never heard of em but glad i found them. i love this album all songs are good. genre is like Dream pop classic. 8/10

04/06- Invitation to Her’s by Her’s. I love them. this was good nice slow chill songs for the most part. 8/10

04/07- Chip Chrome & The Mono-Tones by The Neighborhood. i kinda cheated today since i’ve listened to most of the songs on this album but i still love it so i decided to listen to each song. 9/10 ofc. the nbhd is so good. my fav song is cherry flavoured.

04/08- Deathconsciousness by Have A Nice Life. 7/10. it was good love the vibes.

04/09- Fearless (Taylor’s version) by Taylor Swift. TAYLORBSWIFT. that’s all i have to say. 9/10. even though i’m kinda heartless and could care less abt boys, this album (Taylor in general) makes me feel like a hopeless, lovesick teen girl.

04/10- Blonde Tongues by Blonde Tongues. it was chill low key vibes. nice. 7/10

04/11- Super Trouper by ABBA. 7/10. good, classic ofc.

04/12- noOffense.mp3 by poptropicaslutz! 8/10. it was only 3 songs but i enjoyed them all. it’s hyper pop and i like the genre. reminds me of mgk, lil peep ish, etc

04/13- our little angel by ROLE MODEL. i liked it, upbeat cute songs. a song u can dance around in ur room. 8/10

04/14- Small Car Big Wheels by Enjoy. i love it. funky upbeat songs that make me happy. 8/10. bedroom pop?

04/15- Next Thing by Frankie Cosmos. 6/10. nice songs soft voice, i like the vibes.

04/16- The Family Jewels by MARINA. i love marina she’s a queen. 9/10 so iconic. too much fav songs but i’d have to go w Oh No! because that it the first song i was obsessed with once i heard it on Just dance 2014 or sumn

04/17- BO Y by Deaton Chris Anthony. 4/10. i thought it would’ve been good bc the first couple songs were nice but then i was like wtf... but hey maybe it’s just not my type of music.

04/18- I Can’t Handle Change by Roar. 6/10. it’s ok i guess some of the songs aren’t my type.. it’s still good. nice and short album. fav song Christmas Kids

04/19- Shawcross by Good Morning. average, short album so i didn’t really notice it or find a good ear opening song. 6/10

04/20- Manila Ice by Eyedress. i love it. chill vibes. variety. 8/10.

04/21- You Are Going to Hate This by The Frights. chill 7/10

04/22- 9mm by P.H.F. it’s nice . 7/10. sounds like a lot of other music so not that shocked but it wasn’t bad

04/23- Chase Atlantic by Chase Atlantic. 8/10. hot vibes.

04/24- The Symposium by The Symposium. 9/10. I LOVE THÉ SONGS SO CUTE AND CALM

04/25- Future Nostalgia by Dua Lipa. ok Dula peep🤩. fav song is levitating w dababy duh that’s the only reason i listened to the whole album. 8/10.

04/26- Be the Cowboy by Mitski. it was nice 7/10

04/27- Blank Blank by Dababy. 7/10. some bops

04/28- Party Favors by Sir Chloe. i wasnt really feeling it 5/10 but maybe it was bc i wanted to listen to hype songs

04/29- Light & Magic by Ladytron. 6/10z futuristic vibes. fav song seventeen. i like the vibe.

04/30- Starboy by the Weeknd. 7/10. oldie but goodie

05/01- Let’s Skip to the Wedding by Eyedress. 9/10. i love it. good chill songs.

05/02- 2014 Forest Hills Drive by J. Cole. 8/10. Good vibes. deep

05/03- Honeyweed by Summer Salt. 8/10. cute songs i enjoyed them

05/04- 40oz. To Freedom by Sublime. 8/10. love the groovy vibes

05/05- Virtue by The Voidz. 7/10. good i like it

05/06- In Rainbows by Radiohead. wow. that was incredible 10/10

05/07- Pablo Honey by Radiohead. jesus christ.. 9/10 i’m obsessed.

05/08- The Bends by Radiohead. 8/10. i lovebthem

05/09- Fetch the Bolt Cutters by Fiona Apple. 7/10

05/10- Jack Johnson and Friends: Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George by Jack Johnson. 7/10. cute wholesome songs. my childhood.

05/11- Apollo XXI by Steve Lacy. 9/10 ofc. i’ve heard the album before so i’m kinda cheating but it’s too good not to rate.

05/12- Case Study 01 by Daniel Caesar. 9/10. incredible

05/13- Songs about Jane by Maroon 5. 10/10 love it! obsessed even if it’s from a while ago

05/14- The Off-Season by J. Cole. 7/10. it’s eh good.

05/15- skipped i was busy

05/16- Suburban Light by The Clientele. 9/10. pretty good glad i chose it.

05/17- Return of Saturn by No Doubt. it’s good i enjoyed it. 8/10

05/18- Jinx by Crumb. 10/10 i love this mysterious vibe wow it’s good. slow chill songs

my krisdot playlist and their povs

this took 3 fucking days omfg please enjoy it 

if you havent seen it heres my playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Hp5IpwWcNeXxcwwIw9ZUb?si=hHoP2BH3SNSeUJ9H_TXjbg

alright here we go, 107 songs baybe:

American Beauty/American Psycho by Fall Out Boy - Godot POV

West Miles by The Front Bottoms - Godot and Kristoph POV

Hiding by Modern Baseball - Godot and Kristoph POV

Me and My Husband by Mitski - Kristoph POV

Two Slow Dancers by Mitski - Godot and Kristoph POV

Face to Face by Rex Orange County - Godot POV

Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County - Godot POV

Catabolic Seed by The Scary Jokes - Kristoph POV

Them Changes by Thundercat - Godot and Kristoph POV

I'm in Love With an E-Girl by Wilbur Soot - Godot POV

Some Kind of Nature by Gorillaz - Kristoph POV

I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters - Godot and Kristoph POV

Charcoal Baby by Blood Orange - Godot and Kristoph POV

No Care by Daughter - Kristoph POV

IFHY by Tyler, The Creator - Kristoph POV

Stay by Oingo Boingo - Godot and Kristoph POV

GONE, GONE / THANK YOU by Tyler, The Creator - Godot and Kristoph POV

Looking Out for You by Joy Again - Kristoph POV

Chronic Sunshine by Cosmo Pyke - Godot POV

Call Me Baby by Beach Bunny - Kristoph POV

Great Dane by Cosmo Pyke - Godot and Kristoph POV

Verbatim by Mother Mother - Godot and Kristoph POV

Waves by chloe moriondo - Godot POV

Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery - Godot and Kristoph POV

CAN'T GET OVER YOU by joji - Godot POV

Keep Two-Stepping by Pretoria - Godot POV

2004 Breakup by The Gentle Men - Godot and Kristoph POV (not about each other)

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge - Godot and Kristoph POV

When I Rule The World by LIZ - Kristoph (and kinda Godot, hes supporting him)

Arms Tonite by Mother Mother - Kristoph or Godot POV (depends on the day tbh i-)

I Can't Handle Change by Roar - Kristoph POV

Oh Ana by Mother Mother - Kristoph, sometimes Godot POV

Too Close by Sir Chloe - Godot and Kristoph POV

Animal by Sir Chloe - Kristoph POV

It's Only Sex by Car Seat Headrest - Kristoph POV

Always Forever by The Cults - Kristoph POV

Beachboy by McCafferty - Godot POV

Chateau (Feel Alright) by Djo - Kristoph and Godot POV

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox - Kristoph and Godot POV

Call This # Now by The Garden - Godot POV

Blondie by Current Joys - Godot POV

Starstruck by The Scary Jokes - Godot and Kristoph POV

Freaks by Surf Curse - Godot and Kristoph POV

You Are Going To Hate This by The Frights - Kristoph and Godot POV

I Wanna Boi by PWR BTTM - Kristoph POV

Wet by Dazey and the Scouts - Kristoph POV

Pleaser by Wallows - Godot POV

I Hate Everyone but You by Elita - Kristoph POV

California Here We Go by The Garden - Godot and Kristoph POV

Coffee by Jack Stauber - Godot POV

Dark Red by Steve Lacy - Godot POV

Don't Mess With Me by temposhark - Kristoph POV

As The World Caves In by Matt Maltese - Kristoph and Godot POV

The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer - Kristoph POV (duh)

Stupid With Love from Mean Girls - Kristoph POV

When He Died by Lemon Demon - (same with arms tonite)

Sunkissed by khai dreams - Kristoph and Godot POV

Choke by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Kristoph and Godot POV

Shut Up Kiss Me by Angel Olsen - Kristoph and Godot POV

No Eyed Girl by Lemon Demon - Godot POV

Not Allowed by TV Girl - Godot POV

Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Paul Anka - Godot POV

Sex with a Ghost by Teddy Hyde - Godot POV

Bottom by McCafferty - Godot POV

Painkiller by Beach Bunny - Kristoph POV

Walk You Home by Sir Chloe - Godot POV

Blah Blah Blah by The Oozes - Kristoph POV (not about godot)

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol - Kristoph POV

Philphobia by Sunday Cruise - Kristoph and Godot POV

New Flesh by Current Joys - Godot and Kristoph POV

Good Little Girl from Adventure TIme - Godot POV

Coffee Breathe by Sofia Mills - Kristoph POV

Love Somebody by Lauv - Godot POV

Untie You by Sir Chloe - Godot and Kristoph POV

Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit - Godot POV

Devil Town by Cavetown - Kristoph POV

Yer Killin' Me by Remo Drive - Kristoph and Godot POV

Feel Better by Penelope Scott - Kristoph POV

Rät by Penelope Scott - Kristoph POV (not about godot)

Vanilla Curls by Teddy Hyde - Godot POV

Sensitive by Serena Isioma - Kristoph POV

Can Ghosts Be Gay? by carpetgarden - Kristoph POV

Banks by Lincoln - Godot and Kristoph POV

The Fragrance Of Dark Coffee from Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations - i think you can guess,

Poplar St by Glass Animals - Kristoph POV

Raspberry by Grouplove - Godot POV

Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye - Godot and Kristoph POV

Dancing by Mellow Fellow - Godot POV

]Before You by spookyghostboy - Godot and Kristoph POV

Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA - Kristoph POV

Meant to Be Yours from Heathers - Godot and Kristoph POV

Dead Girl Walking from Heathers - Kristoph POV

The Physical Attractions by The Symposium - Godot and Kristoph POV

Don't You Dare by Mellow Fellow - Kristoph and Godot POV

The Zombie Song by Stephanie Mabey - Kristoph POV

Like a Star by Mike Krol - Kristoph POV

What Do They Know by Mindless Self Indulgence - Kristoph POV

I've Got Some Falling To Do by Lemon Demon - Kristoph and Godot POV

Superfast Jellyfish by Gorillaz - Godot POV

The Bidding by Tally Hall - Kristoph and Godot POV

This December by Ricky Montgomery - Godot and Kristoph POV

Yes, I'm Changing by Tame Impala - Kristoph POV

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen - Godot and Kristoph POV

Choker by Beach Goons - Kristoph and Godot POV

Let's Dance to Joy Division by The Wombats - Godot POV

Cupid's Chokehold / Breakfast in America by Gym Class Heros - Godot POV

Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny - Kristoph POV

Talk to Me by Cavetown - Godot and Kristoph POV

Answer 21 questions and tag some people you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by: @a-magey thank you ❤

Nicknames: Oh my god, here we go... Alex (of course), little mouse or mouse (family), Würsti (@fruchtgatsch) and Lordi (by a friend who’s not on tumblr anymore)

Real name: Alexandra

Height: oh fuck me 1.77 m which is like... (and the internet tells me this because I have no idea) 177 cms = 5.8 feet = 5 feet 9.6 inches

What time is it: 12:03

Favourite musician/ group: I listen to a lot of Korean music... (favorite group is still SHINee). Other than that: Poets of the Fall, Marilyn Manson, Djo (of course), Two Steps from Hell, Sleeping at Last. And I wanna mention Caleb Hyles (A++ covers on YouTube)

Favourite sports team: the Austrian ski team, duh (it’s the only team I know haha)

Other blogs: yes..... but let’s not go there because old edits

Do I get asks: Sometimes :)

How many blogs do I follow: 109.... which isn’t a lot, I know

Tumblr crushes: where should I even start!? @wrecked-fuse // @grabmyboner // @granpappy-winchester // @billyhargrovens // @plistommy // @flippyspoon // @gideongrace // @saberghatz // @hartigays ❤

Lucky number: eh, I don’t think I have one

What am I wearing right now: blue jeans and a hoodie - home office outfit :’)

Dream vacation: I’d looooove to visit Australia but like, I’m so clumsy, I’d die there. Something would kill me, it wouldn’t even have to try very hard okay?!

Dream car: don’t really care too much, this shit’s too expensive anyway orz

Favourite food: Lasagna ❤

Drink of Choice: water or coffee :)

Instrument: recorder, ocarina, clarinet, sax

Languages: German, English, Latin (let’s say it counts, okay), Korean (more written than spoken), bits of French and Hungarian

Celebrity crushes: Harrison Ford, Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Jensen Ackles, Tom Ellis, Jesse Williams, Sara Ramirez, Kat Dennings, Katie McGrath, Joe Keery, Dacre Montgomery

And a random fact: I’m a Taurus :o random enough? born in the year of the Sheep baa baa

Tag: I’ll get back to that a little later :’)

what five songs are you listening to on repeat right now?

you probably have no idea how fitting this question is bc literally all do is listen to the same song over and over again until i move on to a new one dfghjk but right now !! my top five (in no particular order) are

roddy by djo

speaking terms by snail mail

i don’t want to be funny anymore by lucy dacus

hannah hunt by vampire weekend (duh lmao)

sports by beach bunny

Excerpted Interview With Westside McFly (11/16/18)

Interview occurred on the “No Pulp Radio Show” with DJ Odyssey, Ishaan Pota and Lily Frankel 

This interview has been transcribed edited for concision with some questions edited for clarity by Lily Frankel

DJO: So for those who aren’t familiar with you, who are you, where are you from? 

WM: Yeah, well, I grew up in South Central, man. I’m from Los Angeles, you know what I’m saying. Right there on the east side. Everybody kinda get confused by the name and stuff like that, but you know it’s Westside McFly I’m from the West Coast, but I grew up on the east side, Los Angeles. 

DJO: And what was that experience like, growing up in Los Angeles? 

WM: Man, it was crazy, you know what I’m saying. You know, obviously, the album is out, and the title of it is, “South Central Ain’t 4 Everybody.” I feel like, that experience, growing up in South Central, is really difficult, and I wanted to... kinda let the world know what’s it’s like, and how, you know, it’s kinda hard to make it, where we from. 

DJO: And seeing what you’re saying, it’s so hard to make it, coming out of South Central, what do you think is the most notorious challenge of trying to get out? 

WM: Well I mean, obviously, you know, when you think about South Central, you think about LA, everybody already think about the gangs, the violence, the drugs, the police. You know what I’m saying, when you think about like, NWA, and all, like, fuck the police, you know what I’m saying, like. So growing up, where I grew up, you see that a lot, you know what I’m saying. It was drug dealers, it was gang bangers, it was—I mean, we, you know, we don’ faced it all. We don’ dealt with the police, we done all of the that, you know what I’m saying. So... um, you kinda come from a different cloth when you gotta go through that as a young kid and you see so early, and there’s no way for your parents to kinda like shield you from what’s going on outside, in the world, you know what I’m saying. My granny lived on 81st and Central, the school I went to was off of McKinley and 83rd, that’s like two blocks up! So just walkin from my granny’s house to school, you could either run into somebody that’s gon ask you where you from, you might see a cop roll by, and they, you know, the cops—like, people always kinda confuse that, like, “oh, they gettin harassed by the cop, they gettin beat on by the cops,” it’s not that, like you could just get flashed by some police, and we take that as harassment, you know what I’m saying, cause I’m just mindin’ my business, just walkin up the street, what you got to flash me with your light for? You know what I’m saying. So it’s a lot of things that... I would say, made me who I am today, and... bring the music out.

DJO: Was music always the first option, or did you wanna be something else?

WM: Nah, nah, I would say that was like my first option. I come from a family... you know, basketball players. Actually my cousin is actually Baron Davis. So I come from a basketball family, it was all sports. For me, I was that kid that was like... I had my little composition book and I was writing poems. You know what I’m saying? Like my pops, he lived in Compton, so he lived right off Piru street... I was at his house one day and I was writing like, little poems in my little composition book. And then like the neighbrohood bum, you know, he came through or whatever—think he was asking my dad if he could wash the car or somethin’, and he was askin’ me what I was doin’. And I was like, “what?” And he was like, “man, what you doin?” And tell him, I’m like, “man, I’m writing some poetry, you know what I’m sayin, just workin on my stuff.” He was like, “ahh, let me hear some stuff,” so I spit it and he was like, “man, you sound like you rappin!” And that was kinda like my first, like, “damn, like, it kinda do sound like I’m rappin.” And then I kinda took to it more cause my grandfather was a DJ, my grandmother, she collected like, old school 45 records, and stuff like that, so music kinda just always been there for me, you know what I’m sayin?

DJO: So mentioning how you got a DJ in your family, mentioning that, you know, your grandma had the 45s, like, what were some of the musical influences that you grew up listening to, like what was Grandma spinning, what was the family spinnin? 

WM: Damn. Alright so, back then? I mean you thinkin’ about like the The Temptations, you think about Diane Ross, Minnie Riperton. That’s what she was into. Al Green, Marvin Gaye—Michael Jackson was her ultimate favorite [laughing]. She had every Michael Jackson record you could think of. All the way back from Jackson 5, little Michael, to like, Billy Jean, Bad Michael. Like, she was a huge fan of Mike. My grandfather, being a DJ I guess, his vibe was different, because the club setting is different, people here drinking and smoking, and all of that goin on or whatever, back in that time. So it was a little different, his records had a little bit more upbeat, but, I felt like, every time music came on, it gave you a different experience about life. And a different setting. And it put you in a different place. And for me, I just kinda always wanted to be a part of that world. To be a creator of that, you know what I’m saying? And kinda capture and cement the memories and moments of--of what we don’ went through. 

DJO: Does it piss you off when you hear a younger rapper, or people who pretend to be from “the hood,” to use that—when they haven’t actually seen it.

WM: Yeah, I definitely, it makes me mad, when that happens. Because, you know, that’s not anything to be glamorized, in my opinion. When you really from a place that’s like, it’s trife, you know what I’m saying? And it’s really like, yo, you could really lose you life, livin out here. It’s... it’s kinda difficult when that happens, cause you got people that are kinda like, fakin’ it. And for me, I take it as disrespect, because it’s kinda like a badge of honor to be able to say, “look, I lived in this city, I grew up in this neighborhood, I seen my friend get shot right here, I don seen this happen right here, I don—duh duh duh duh duh.” And for somebody to come along and just kinda fake that, and want to be part of that cause it look cool—it’s like, nah, I’m not wit that, you not gon come make money off of our struggle, you know what I’m saying? I ain’t having that. 

DJO: Especially when you livin’ it day in, day out. 

WM: Day in’ day out! And I still got friends that’s livin in the hood, you know, I still got aunties, I still got cousins, so—it’s not always pretty, but it ain’t always ugly, like don’t get it twisted, the hood ain’t just like a “scary” place. Like if you get a chance? Fo sure, go take a trip down to Watts, go take a trip down to South Central, go see what it’s like. Go breathe in the air. You know what I’m saying? Go see what the people is like, so then you could really understand it. And I feel like people that are infatuated with like, Compton and Watts and South Central, they should go do that. If they really like—you know, if you really wanna know about it, go see about it. That’s what you gon do when you—if it’s a pair of Gucci shoes out that you want, you gon go to the Beverly Center, you gon cop them Gucci shoes, you gon go see how they look, you gon put em on your feet, you gon walk in them. So go do the same thing with the neighborhood, you know what I’m saying? Lily: Do you feel like people have certain misconceptions about South Central, or that area in general? 

WM: Definitely. Because of—I think it started when the riots happened. When the riots happened—there’s certain things about, you know, East LA, that we can’t control. And what the media puts out about East LA, we can’t control it. You know what I’m saying? We don’t have those platforms. And... the last big artist to make it from the east side.. [long pause] I don’t—dang. In my opinion, you’d probably have to say like, NWA, Snoop came from the East side of Long Beach, you know what I’m saying? Like, who can speak on that major platform, Snoop made it to that major platform, where he can kinda give you a different outlook of how the hood is, you know what I’m saying? Is it dangerous? Yes. Is it a whole bunch of, like, just crackheads and crack babies? No. Like, you know what I’m saying? Like, yeah, you gon see a few. But, we didn’t have no money to bring crack there, you know what I’m saying? How did it get there? So you go back to Reaganomics, and you go back—like, everything started back then. And I feel like the perception that the media painted for the city, you know what I’m saying? We cleanin’ it up. The youngers that’s coming out, you got a lot of people that’s coming out... from Watts, from Compton. When you think about Kendrick Lamar—Kendrick Lamar, you know, his grammy performances and everything like that, that’s changing the perception of people, you know what I’m saying? Like of what they think about Compton. Back then it was “fuck the police,” and now you watchin Kendrick, you know, at the Grammys, on stage, and you lookin’ at Compton a whole different way. You know what I’m saying? So... I feel like the perception is definitely changin. 

DJO: So let’s talk about your album, you know, “South Central Ain’t 4 Everybody.” With that title in itself, it’s just like, it seems like you’re just tryna like, “yo, let me set the record straight.” 

WM: Yeah, definitely. Quick story. I was in the studio, man. And I wanna say at the time, the album was maybe like, 75% done, and I was playing records for people, just tryna get reactions and stuff like that, and I had this one particular A&R that was there, I’m not gon name drop. [Laughs.] Yeah, that’s for snitches, I ain’t gon name drop. But, he actually heard the music, man, and he was like, yo, I really think you should do like this type of sound, you know, you should do what’s in right now, what’s hot. You should do that other record that you did. And because I write for people, I have a different—a wide-range, I should say, of records in my catalogue. So at the time, he had probably heard like some trap record that I had wrote for like TV or film, or whatever. And I remember just telling him like, Bro, that ain’t me. That’s not the picture that I’m tryna paint, that’s not South Central, that’s not what I’m about, you know what I mean. And I remember leaving the studio, it was me, my engineer, and my little cousin. My little cousin’s maybe like 15, he go to Crenshaw High. And literally we was having a conversation about it, and I’m like damn, I really can’t understand why people don't understand... you know, where we come from, and why that’s, like, not mainstream enough for them. And I remember my little cousin saying to me “yo, South Central ain’t for erybody, cuzzo.” And, at that time, I was just like, yo [laughs], that’s what I’m naming the album. [...] It was just like, yo. Simple and plain, bro, like, South Central ain’t for everybody. There are certain people that can make it here and certain people that can’t. And this album will give you a piece of that, like, so you can understand it. 

DJO: You said there are some people who can make it and some people who can’t. What are the characteristics of somebody who can make it? 

WM: You gotta be tough. Erybody ain’t gotta be a gangster to make it in South Central but you gotta be tough for sure. You know, you gotta be real. You gotta stay loyal, you gotta ride for your people. You gotta... I mean, you just gotta have like, the ambition and hustle of... a real hustler, like for real. Because ain’t nobody like, gonna give you anything, where we from. We weren’t given anything. You know, to begin with. Like I said, like, watchin’ my momma struggle, she had four kids. She had no handouts. She had no help. You know what I’m saying? She had to work hard. And... watchin the strength of her, put it in me. Like alright, I gotta get up and go get it, especially if pops ain’t around, and—you know what I’m saying? So you kinda go through a lot of different phases as a young man, growing up in South Central, right, where you gotta now—I gotta help my moms, and my sisters, I want them—you know what I’m saying? And especially if you wanna be on some fly shit yo self, and you wanna look fresh and you don’t wanna go to school looking like... you know what I’m saying? You got—kids is mean! [DJO laughs.] Let’s think about it, come on man, the 90s, what? You was gettin clowned if you was comin to school with some busted shoes. But if you had some fresh whites on, you was the man. And you had a nice outfit, you was—you know what I’m saying? Fresh cut, all of that, so—moms couldn’t always afford everything! So sometimes you gotta go get up and go hustle up some stuff with homies and—ay, mom, I just bought my own shoes, like you feel me? She don’t gotta know where it came from. There’s a lot of things we don did that, of course your parents ain’t gon be proud of, you know what I’m saying. But at the same time, you do what you gotta do to survive. Yeah, so I think that survival instinct, it comes. 

DJO: Take me over when you were composing these two songs [“Bitch Please” and “Piece of My Love”], what was going through your mind? Because in listening to “Bitch Please,” and then “Piece of My Love,” they’re on both ends of the spectrum. 

WM: One of them’s far left, the other’s far right. Yeah, definitely. So a lot of people was... disturbed when they first heard “Bitch please,” cause they like, “ahh, you talkin bout women.” I’m like, nah—okay, so to break that down—and I feel like men know what’s up when it comes to this—you got women out there, sometime, that like—not all women are bitches, like you know what I’m sayin, but you have some that you come across where you’re like “man, bitch please,” like you’re feeling yourself a little too much, and there is certain women that are just so into themselves where it’s like yo, you gotta kinda like bring em back down to earth, but besides that, you got women out there that are like just gold-diggers, clout-chasers, like you know what I’m saying? They just want to be around, and be in the scene, or they might wanna talk to you, or get with the homie, and those are the women that I’m talkin to on “Bitch Please,” the trifling ones. There’s a separation between real women that’s out there, doin they job, and really gettin to a bag, and hustlin, and providing for themselves, they not lookin for no man for nothin, so it’s a separation, and that’s what “Piece of My love Is,” for that women that really deserve that, because not every woman, you know what I’m saying, really deserve that from you. There’s certain women out there that you gonna throw ones at, it’s certain women out there that you gonna go buy, you know, a gucci bag, or a ring, you feel me? It’s different types of women in the world, so. That’s just me bein real. 

L: So you’ve written songs for other people, and you write your own music. What is the difference for you in that process, between when you’re writing a song for somebody else, verses when you’re focusing on your own music, do you feel like there’s a difference? 

WM: Yeah definitely, cause... when I’m writing for other people, I have to really put myself in that place, where they are in their life. And, I can’t always just be like yo, who is this person, what have they gone through, and write about that. It’s gotta be like, what could they possibly be going through right now, what’s next for them, you know what I’m saying? Sometimes you can go off past experiences but you just gotta put yourself in their shoes, for a second. And I feel like as a creator and somebody that’s a fan of music, that’s pretty easy to do. And I feel like most artists—if you’re a true artist, you can do that. You know what I’m saying? I’m not afraid to say I’m a fan of certain artists, you feel me? So to be able to step outside of who I am as a person, and as a creator, as an artist, and be like, well, let me put myself in this person’s shoes real quick and write a record, what would it sound like. You know what I’m saying, to me that’s fun... and it’s challenging at the same time. But it’s something that I’ve grown to learn—the whole like songwriting process, being a songwriter, it’s just something that I’ve learned, for sure, and I’m still learning! You know what I’m saying? I don’t even feel like—if you think about Quincy Jones, you think about a lot of like great musicians in the industry, right, they kept learning, they whole career, they just kept learning, kept learning, kept learning, so every day is a part of the process. 

Ishaan: So when you go to the studio, what’s your process? Do you go in with ideas? 

WM: Yeah, my process is kinda weird, I always feel like in order for me to create records, I have to live, right? So like, “South Central Ain’t 4 Everybody” was like a two year... two and a half year project. I put a lot of time into that project, you know what I’m saying? Like, you have a lot of different artists now that will just sit in they room for like ten days and be like “yo I got a mixtape and it’s the hottest shit out.” That’s not gonna be the case, cause you ain’t experience shit in that ten days, bro. You sat in that room by yourself, like, either smokin, or drinking, or eatin hot cheetos, whatever the fuck you was doin [studio laughs], and you just felt like—you imagined life instead of really experiencing it, like you know what I’m saying? So for me like, I felt like I have to go through shit in order to be able to go into the studio and talk about shit, so you gotta be livin like, every day, like you know what I’m saying? I gotta be able to talk about what I see my moms go through, sometimes you gotta get back to that. You know what I’m saying? And sometimes it be reality, like yo I just hung up with mom, she sick, yada yada yada, and now, you know what I’m saying, this is where I’m at mentality, it’s taking me back to when I was a kid, and now I’m writing this type of record. You know, or, it’s just one of them nights, where it’s like, yo, this chick, she trippin, she—she just worried about what Ima buy her and where Ima take her, and duh duh duh duh duh, and then you get records like “Bitch Please” and then like—you know what I’m saying? It’s all different types of moods and vibes, like lit, like I’m know, notoriously known, the come-up boys, we known, for like throwin parties like, house parties. [...] We also do a charity thing with the come-up boys, our movement, so this year we’re gon do a blanket give-back. Over the summer we did a food, hygiene, uh, care packs, and water, and soda. Um... so this December I think we’ll do food again, um, but instead of the hygiene pack—over the Summer we did like toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion, wipes, socks—this time we’re gonna do blankets and jackets. That’s the plan for the Winter. [...] It’s so crazy, the—it’s an ongoing problem, obviously, we have a lot of homeless out here, in Los Angeles. And I remember growing up, I went to high school, Hamilton, bro. And I remember one day I was driving up—I want to say I was driving up either Broadway or Main—and I seen somebody I went to school with, and bro was doing bad, man. Like bad bad. And I’m like, “yo, this is somebody I actually went to high school with.” So you kinda see yourself in that, cause it’s like, yo, this can easily be you, and we don’t know what happened in his life, you know what I’m saying, but obviously he need help, and, you know, I pulled over, I helped. There’s been times, you can ask my people, there’s been times I done gave shoes away, you know what I’m saying, if I got shoes in my cars, then forget it, if I got shoes in my trunk, forget it, you can have it. Shirts, money, all that, bro. Cause we gon get it back tenfolds over, you know what I’m saying. But you don’t know what that can do, just to help somebody else. [...] And that’s really important with our squad, because we know where we come from, so we know how hard it is to get it, we know how hard it is to lose it, and we always want to give back to those who don’t. L: So, it seems like with your music, the overall goal or theme is trying to convey what you were talking about earlier, like this is where you’re from and trying to portray it in an accurate way, would you say that’s your goal with making music? 

WM: Yeah. And just speaking for the streets and the people that had to come from the streets, you know what I’m saying? And from, with a different perspective, cause like obviously, when you think about the gangs and stuff like that, everybody—you ain’t gotta grow up and be from somewhere, or be a gang-banger, to speak for the streets, you know what I’m saying? You ain’t gotta sell drugs to speak for the streets. Now mind you, there’s—like I said, again, there’s things in my life, that, you know, you don did, that your moms and pops may not be proud of, but you do what you had to do to survive, right, but at the same time, I just wanna be that beacon for the next kid, to be like, “yo, you can do it like me, and you can make it.” You know what I’m saying? You ain’t gotta succumb to what your homies want you to be, you ain’t gotta succumb to what the world think you should be, or think—who you are, you know, like sometimes the world may already have they mind made up about who you are. You could change that person’s perception, like you could change the perception of the world, you know what I’m saying, so I just wanna be that beacon that provides that message, through my music. [...] I mean like, just with the company itself, we do everything, like we got a catering service, you know what I’m saying? We have a, obviously, it was clothing line, originally. It was the record label and our clothing line, originally. And I wanna say after the first two years we expanded, we had a catering service. After that we started doing our charity give-back. And there’s gonna be more expansions, like we want to get into tech stuff, you know what I’m saying? That’s stuff that we into. Just cause we grew up in the hood don’t mean that we’re not entrepreneurs, we’re not smart, you know what I’m saying, like we don’t have, you know, any kind of vision behind our brand, you know what I’m saying? But we have these people like myself, like Q, my boy Jamil, my boy Trill, my boy Jax, we’re all like, you know, the main people pushing this brand. And even those up under us, you know—it’s so many come-up boys, it’s like 20 of us, to be honest with you. We gotta whole gang, for real, it looks like a gang. We move like a gang, look like a gang, but we ain’t a gang, you know what I’m saying? [studio and DJO laughing] It’s crazy. 

DJO: I feel like it’s really important that your neighborhood see somebody like you that made it out, see somebody succeeding, see somebody who’s contributing and giving back. 

WM: Talk that talk. I wasn’t destined to be here, bro. When I was born, I was born with sickle cell, right? So the doctors told my mom I’m supposed to die at the age of 10. So I’m already up against that, right? But then you grew up in the hood, you grew up poor, then you had to deal with the gangs, then you had to deal with the drugs, then you had to deal with the cops, then—you know what I’m saying? So you already up against everything, not to mention being black in America—it’s difficult. [Agreement from the studio.] You know what I’m saying? Like let’s just be honest. So when you look at that, and you be like, yo, this kid made it from here, and this is the success he attained over this amount of time, by putting in this work, staying true to who he was, staying true to his people and his friends that was around him, listening, learning, taking in everything, and then creatively puttin it out to the world to be like yo, this is what I’m about, you feel me? 

DJO: Do you ever feel like, you know, because you’ve overcome so much adversity and so many obstacles in your life, like, you ever walk around with a chip on your shoulder? Or you always keep it humble. WM: It’s kind of like, you know how like, one side is the angel, one side is the devil? [Laughter in the studio.] I have the chip over here [gestures to left shoulder], but then I’m humble as fuck over here [gestures to other shoulder]. And sometimes it’s difficult cause you don’t know which one to listen to. You know what I’m saying, like is it stay humble, or is it walk around with that chip? But I feel like, when you grow in the hood, you already kinda got a chip on your shoulder, to prove that you’re more than what they’ve told people the people that come from the hood is about. You know what I’m saying? Like I said, going back to that perception that’s put out there by the media, you know what I’m saying? The way they talk about the hood is not always... proper. And so that perception, that people think about us, we already kinda have that chip on our shoulder, where we gotta prove people wrong,, you feel me? I think that’s always gonna be a part of who I am as a person and as an artist. You gon hear it in my music, you gon see it when I’m walking, you gon see it when I’m having a conversation with whoever, and then also being humble about where I come from, and about what I had to go through, and the successes that I attained. I’m still gon be humble about it cause I understand like yo, it could be here today, it could be gon tomorrow. 

DJO: And what would you say—you know, respecting the process—what was the hardest part in your process? 

WM: I think gettin out of my own way sometimes. Cause I’m a perfectionist. And I think the hardest part about my own process—like me and the homies, we don got into many arguments, about when to pick the music out, and what songs to put out, what videos to shoot, I don got in a lot of arguments with these dudes. But they brothers for life, you feel me? But sometimes I be in my own way, and I be like, overthinking. But that goes back to having that chip on my shoulder, I wanna prove people wrong. So I just got this burning ambition to be like yo, I gotta do it right, it gotta look good, it gotta duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, we can’t take no Ls, you know what I’m saying? Even though like, all Ls are lessons, but [laughs] like nah, for real, Ls is lessons, but you know for me, it’s like nah, we ain’t got time for that. We puttin points on the board. We gotta move correctly, you know what I’m saying? We gotta move proper, strategically, so I’m real big on that, and I’m the type of person, people can’t tell me no. You know what I’m saying? “Ah nah, we can’t do that! That’s impossible!” I can’t be around a motherfucker that’s like that. You know what I’m saying? Like, you... I’m not gon let anybody tell me that something can’t be done. Cause we gon figure it out, you know what I’m saying? And that’s just what it is. 

DJO: So what would you say is one of those biggest dreams? Do you ever see yourself falling back from rap and being like, “I’m gonna make a label now”? I mean, we gon do way more than just a record label, like we already own our own record label, shoutout to Empire, we were able to get independent distribution through them, and own our own record label, we can sign artists, we have artists, you know what I’m saying, we’re looking for artists, um... but, even beyond that, we gon do films, you know what I’m saying? We gon get into the fashion business even heavier, you gon catch us at New York Fashion Week, you gon catch us at Complex Con, and you know, all these different places, like Come-Up Boys, the brand in itself, is gonna be way bigger than just music, that’s just our starting point, you know what I’m saying? [...] One of my favorite Jay lines, I would have to say, was when he was like: “If skills sold / Truth be told / I'd probably be / Lyrically / Talib Kweli / Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common Sense / But I made 5 mil, I ain't been rhyming like Common since.” So to me, that right there was like yo, he lettin you know, lyrically I could be Talib Kweli, bro. Who was like one of the greatest, like come on! “Truthfully I wanna rhyme like Common, but I made 5 mil, I ain't been rhyming like Common since,” like that shit is crazy, bro. You know what I’m saying? It lets you know what he about, it lets you know the intelligence of who he can be, and who he wants to be, and him understanding that. Most people don’t get that, you know what I’m saying? They know who they want to be, you know what I’m saying? They don’t know who they can be, though. They thinking too small. So you gotta know who you are, in a sense. At the same time, when you moving in this game, no matter what you doing, I don’t care if you a radio DJ, I don’t care if you a English major, a tech student [L and I laugh], whatever, you gotta know who the fuck you wanna be, and know who you are. And know what it’s gon take to get there. Like you know what I’m saying? That’s just that. DJO: Especially like going to college here, you know some people feel like, they feel boxed in by their major, like they can only do one thing. WM: Ay, none of them people that’s running this school man, they didn’t call you and say ay, you can only have one major, or you can only do this. Look... here’s the pamphlet, here’s the book, you figure out who you wanna be. That’s what college is about, right? Okay so you gotta get out there, and you gotta try stuff, you know what I’m saying? You ain’t gon get it on the first go around. The first year you might have one major, second year you gotta switch to another major, whatever, you ain’t gon get it on the first go around! Don’t be afraid to fail, man! Michael Jordan said that, you know what I’m saying? And he got six rings! [Laughter in the studio.] This man is making billions off tennis shoes, and he just keep puttin out the same ones! [More laughter.] And I got a pair of em on, right now! 

DJO: But I really think that’s the thing, like, everyone is so afraid of failure. Like, and I feel it’s like, not everyone, but like a majority, some people just afraid like “hey I failed I am gonna be discouraged I’m never gonna dip back into that again.” 

WM: Check it, if you afraid to fail, you might as well give up on life. I don’t care what it is! You gotta be willing to fail. Every L is a lesson. It’s not a loss, it’s a lesson. Only thing you lose is time. And you can’t get it back, right? But that lesson gon make up for the time that you lost. Because eventually you gon have to learn what not to do, in order to know what to do! 

I: What’s been your biggest L, and lesson? 

WM: My biggest lesson. I’m gonna think. Hold on. Cause I’m gonna give you a good one. My biggest lesson... would probably have to be trust yourself. Cause some people, they don’t do that, and they start listening—like everybody gon have an opinion, right? If you in the studio, and it’s like ten people in the studio. Or it’s five people in the studio. Everybody in that room is gonna have an opinion about the record. Sometimes you have to be able to listen to others, and take parts of what they saying, and apply, and sometimes, some people gon say stuff that, just, nah. And you gotta trust yourself in the moments, you get what I’m saying? So it’s about knowing that. I wanna say that’s probably my biggest lesson. And it was a L! There’s been times where I did not trust myself and I listened to other people, and that shit got me in trouble! You know what I’m saying? I don lost money behind that [laughs], for real, I don lost money behind that, I don got in trouble behind that. So trust in myself, man.

Listen to the full interview here and give “South Central Ain’t 4 Everybody” a listen on Spotify now! Also make sure to check out the new video for "Bitch Please"!