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#and also shoot them in the head
andi-o-geyser · 7 months
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5 GUYS BURGERS AND FRIES ON MY REVENGE LIST
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pepperpixel · 2 months
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+ Butch 4 Butch +
(Except neither one of them is rlly that butch but holy fUCKING SHIT THAT SONG IS LITERALLY THEM… the version of them I made up in my mind palace… it’s them.)
Anywayyyy. Yeah! Have a tagr art dump..! aka, those vibes when you, out of a series of moments of temporary insanity, end up finding, taking in, nursing back to health and eventually falling into a tangled messy yearning situationship w the asshole tsundere alien who tried to destroy your entire planet… rlly extremely relatable vibes!!
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Sweets (1/?)
The snugness was barely tolerable. She had overestimated herself. She looked surreptitiously over her shoulder and ducked around a corner. The only thing following her were her bad decisions, but she felt chased all the same.
Okay. Calm down. Breathe (but not too deep). Evaluate the situation. What are your options? Can you loosen anything?
She looked down at herself. Past her swollen breasts, past a fluffy roll of upper belly, she examined her waistline. Nope. The button was the only thing keeping the zipper together, and vice versa. For the millionth time, she lamented her morning. What a bright idea, interviewing for a job with a snack company. She was very well aware of how sweets affected her.
Could she find somewhere discrete to wait out her... little metabolic mishap? She looked around for a discrete nook to accommodate her fresh bulk.
The little atrium she had found had a series of plush benches around the walls. She sighed and headed for the one in the corner. She sucked in as best she could and sat down. Some horny little corner of her mind made note of how it felt as her tight belly shifted against her puffy thighs.
Sitting like this, only barely upright lest bending too far compromise her jeans, she couldn't ignore how her waistband was trying to cut her in half. She thought back to how she had done this to herself. The lovely HR manager had very explicitly pointed out the basket of the company's sugary offerings there in the middle of interview table. The woman had been insistent that she try at least one of each, gushing like any good salesperson about their rich flavors and subtle textures, occasionally even peeling one out of its wrapper and handing it to her.
How could she have done anything but eat what was offered to her? And by a beautiful woman, no less. She knew how her body reacted to food like this, but she had been desperate to make a good impression, to look good and eager and employable. A good girl. She ignored that last thought, and the accompanying shiver through her frazzled tummy.
She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth (but not too deeply). All she had to do was calm down, and give her body a chance to do the same. Then she could find a back door to sneak out of, go home and hope that somehow that she hadn't blown the interview.
She opened her eyes again and caught sight of herself in a mirror across the room. Holy crap, she was huge. She had been her normal, narrow self, and her outfit had fit very very normally, when she had arrived. But now? Now it looked positively painted onto her. Her breasts were trying to spill out of her tastefully exposed bra and over the lapel of her blouse. She was more balloon than woman at this point. She ignored another tingle.
As she watched herself in the mirror, she noticed something change. Slowly but surely, the last wrinkle in her blouse smoothed out. Uh oh. That meant... she was still filling out. Panic. She tingled again.
No. No. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). She closed her eyes again, and could feel her plump body quietly grow. Crap.
Panic. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). Calm.
Maybe if she didn't look, it would go away. That had never worked before, sure, but there's a first time for everything, right?
As she rationalized to herself, she noticed the sound of heels clacking towards her hiding spot. Panic!
Maybe their owner would pass and not notice her?
No such luck.
The woman who had interviewed her rounded the corner.
"There you are!"
She struggled to stand. So tight.
"You left your purse upstairs. I get it, though. Interviews can be pretty stressful, huh?"
Like nothing had changed. Did this woman not notice that she was currently three times the size she was when she had shown up? Could this woman not hear every seam in her clothes creaking in harmony? Could the woman not see how wide and deep and round she was becoming?
"It's such a beautiful handbag, I almost wanted to keep it for myself!" The woman laughed. "Oh well."
She took the bag from the woman. "O-oh! Thank you!" Leapt out of her.
"Listen," said the woman, "technically I have to review a few other candidates, but I think you're a shoo-in for the position." The woman moved closer. "No one else has shown so much... enthusiasm." Closer still. She basked in the smell of the woman's musky perfume.
"Oh... that's great!" she managed to squeak out.
"In fact," the woman continued, "if you'd like to come back upstairs, we can have you fill out the onboarding paperwork now, so you don't have to come back just to fill out some forms if... when we give you the job." So close now.
"Um! Okay!" What.
The woman placed a gentle hand on the side of her massive, tight, growing belly. "Listen, between you and me, that passion you showed today will take you far with us. Do you feel like the offer is fair? We can negotiate further if you need." The woman's eyes were so sincere.
What was going on here? She could barely think.
The woman placed her other hand on top of her belly, well hidden by her burgeoning breasts. "I do hope you'll say yes."
"Um..."
There was a pop. Her button pinged away across the room from her overburdened jeans. It made a little thwack sound as it hit the far wall. Her zipper flew down, zizzing audibly. Her belly erupted through the breach. Her blouse retreated upwards. The tingling became a roar. All the while, the woman, as though no tectonic shifts were happening right there and then, continued to implore with borderline puppydog eyes.
The world held its breath with her. How had this woman not reacted to any of that?! What? Was the woman still waiting for an answer?
"...okay?" She tried. She wasn't sure if her brain was still working. "Sure?" Best to stick to small sentences.
"Yay!" cheered the woman, "I really think you'll love it here!" The woman launched in for a quick hug around her exposed belly. The woman's arms didn't go even halfway around her. And still the woman didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong.
"Well! If you'll follow me back to the elevators, we can at least get the formalities out of the way."
The woman took her by the hand and pulled, still gentle. She followed, mutely. Even the horniest, shamiest corners of her mind were silent, waiting with bated breath.
As they reached the elevators, the woman pushed the up button and stood to the side. "Please," said the woman, "after you!"
On autopilot now, she stepped into the elevator and... wedged into the door. Stuck. What. Panic? Calm? The elevator dinged again as if to say "I'm waiting!"
The cold of the elevator doors brought her back to reality. She put a hand on either side of herself and tried to pull herself in. As though this were somehow normal, the woman chirped "Oh, here, let me help!"
She felt a gentle pair of hands press into her oceanic bottom. Her horny brain thrilled again. She clamped down on those thoughts. No time to be a pervert.
Between the two of them, they muscled her into the elevator. She turned to face the doors in time to watch the woman press into her in order to let the doors close. Normally equipped for eight full-sized human adults, due to her immensity, it very barely fit two.
"We need floor thirty," said the woman into her barely contained cleavage. She tried to reach for the panel of buttons, but by now there was simply too much of her in the way.
"I've got it," said the woman, reaching behind her without looking.
They rode the thirty floors quietly. She could feel herself still widening, pressing towards the walls of the elevator car. Her embarrassment had burnt out, leaving only a kind of stunned peace in her mind. She tried to will her body away from the woman, but where else could it really go?
By the time they reached their destination, the woman was firmly pressed against the doors, still showing no indication of the extra-ordinariness of the situation.
As the doors opened, the woman stepped back, grabbed her hands, and pulled as she tried to wiggle through the door. Eventually she floomped through, and they set off toward the HR suite.
Full-on waddling now, she felt an inner tension release. She had stopped growing. Relief. If nothing else, at least things had stopped getting worse. Sure, she was almost round enough to roll. Tingle. Sure, her clothing had been reduced to barely covering her... rude areas. Tingle. Sure, a beautiful woman was acting as though this was all perfectly normal. Tingle tingle tingle. But hey, at least it finally wasn't getting worse.
The woman pushed open the double doors to the HR suite and welcomed her in with another glittering smile. They seemed to be the only ones there. The woman led her, patiently, to the front desk area. The woman ducked behind the desk, looking for something.
"Hmm, it looks like I'll need to go print off more some more copies of the forms. Shouldn't take more than a minute or two." Finally she'd have a moment to collect herself.
Then the woman produced a basket, laden with various goodies, from underneath the desk. "Here! Help yourself, sorry to make you wait." Uh.
"Oh, here, allow me," said the woman, picking out a chocolate confection, peeling it, and pressing it into her mouth. "I'll be right back!"
She chewed and swallowed the treat.
Uh oh.
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imminent-danger-came · 5 months
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They're so fucking mean
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somegrumpynerd · 5 months
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As with everything, I am perfectly normal about Uncle Dream and his interactions with his nephews
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wiihtigo · 2 years
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going godmode to impress a boy
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firstroseofspring · 2 months
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exploring klingon ridge variation!
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bruciemilf · 9 months
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i'm also in my moon knight fever lol. YES, imagine if for halloween season baby jason is dressed as a lamb or a small bat and bruce takes jason like "this is my baby" and jason is dressed in a bat one size
- 🦇
BABY JASON DRESSED AS A LITTLE BABY LAMB :(((( MY BELOVED????? Bruce can't go two seconds without crying bc his baby is just too cute and Jason's constantly adorably confused at his sobbing
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twpsyn-who · 1 month
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Soulmates AU in which your soul is bounded to your soulmate's soul.
What does that mean exactly? That when you die, if your soulmate is still alive you can't move on. Instead your soul is stuck by your soulmate's side until they die too, so the two souls can become one in death. Depending on how strong the bond between the two is, one could see (and even interact!) with their deceased soulmate.
Now this but, you know by now, JeanMarco. With Marco waking up and the first thing he saw was Jean's terrified face while looking at the dead body- Marco's half eaten dead body. He learns it pretty quickly that he can't leave Jean's side, bound to follow his best friend around. He also learns that is possible for Jean to see and hear him during the ceremony of burning the fallen soldiers during Trost ; it lasted so little, too little for all the things Marco wanted to say. If he knew Jean was listening from the beginning, he would've started with exposing Reiner and Berthold right away. By the time he took notice that not only Jean was looking at him, but listening too, it was too late. Every other word from him was meet with silence, unheard by the living.
Isn't until the 57th expedition outside the walls that Marco learns that he can interact with Jean too, touch him. In his panic after Jean's failed attack on the Female Titan Marco didn't think and went straight to his best friend's side, touching his shoulder while looking for any injuries. Jean's eyes went straight to the place Marco's was touching, looking confused- until he followed the arm and saw Marco in front of his very own eyes. And just like everything, it lasted too little for Marco's liking. The Female Titan took hold of Reiner, crushing him in her hand, and Jean could no longer see him.
It was later, much much later than either of them would've liked, for Marco to understand how everything works. To know that he could only interact with Jean when his mind was filled with thoughts of Marco. By then Jean already began to move on, the secret of Reiner and Berthold's true selves already out. So Marco could only watch, unable to be there for his other half- for Jean.
And it was when they saw the ocean for the first time that Marco understood why he was truly stuck by Jean's side. When he saw his best friend having fun with the others and realized just how much he loves him. When he realizes that all he truly wants is to be by Jean's side, the way they promised each other to do during their training days.
Edit : Think of Ben and Klaus Hargreeves for easier visual.
#Jean starting to think of Marco less and less until he becomes a mere memory in the back of his head#While Marco keeps thinking of Jean more and more hoping for at least one more second together#Marco telling Jean to calm down while he's attacking Annie in her crystal and that being the only reason he even stopped :)#Them having so many small moments but Jean thinking he lost his fucking mind#Sometimes Marco's voice would tell Jean to dodge or something and Jean would hesitate one second- just for it to be the right call#Marco yelling 'Jean! Look out!' when Gabi gets inside the airship and Jean looks towards the entrance but is too late-#Gabi already shoot Sasha by then#Marco feeling SO GUILTY over it because he couldn't warm them sooner#But also Marco and Sasha chilling together because Sasha couldn't leave Connie's side either#And her describing to him all the food Niccolo has cooked for her! The taste and the different textures and the bright colors!#'Of course I love Connie! He's my other half my twin! You must love Jean very much too to be stuck by his side all this time!'#'Of course I do. He's my other half too. My everything' and that's when they realize that their situation isn't the same#That Marco's love for Jean wasn't the same as Sasha's love for Connie#anyway#aot#jean kirstein#jeanmarco#aot jean#marco bodt#marco bott#snk#aot marco#jean kirschstein#soulmate au#JeanMarco Soulmate AU#I mean it can be platonic if you truly want. But I don't want to so there's that lol#Hesitate no second*
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i can't believe i come back momentarily from the dead and it's with more cancerous memes. Two versions bc god had other plans, none which included not having both of these.
#hand jumper#juni chang#ishaan cha#where my juni enjoyers at#did i ever mention i was the qpr ishjun guy i probably should've hung that up in a sign as a warning in advance#i don't f around with these bros they're my little guys they're the scunkledoodles#they're everything and i'll actually fight you on them if i see something egregious or slanderous of them#they're my children they're my little DSM-5 case studies they're my little sillies i keep in the petri dish#whether they beat each other up or talk crap is up to sleepacross tho they my only hope#the fp got me acting up i'm on the delulu cocaina i need to be shot#shot down or shot dead pick one just PLEASE end my suffering#WHO IS THE CELL 3 MENTOR JUST END MY SUFFERING INSTEAD OF HOLDING CELL 3 CRUMBS OVER MY HEAD#AND IF ONLY JUNI IS OVERSEEING THEM OR THEY'RE GOING IN UNSUPERVISED I'LL EXPLODE#STRAIGHT UP.#SHOOT ME DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH#sighs#i could've been simping over that one panel of sayeon like everyone else#not the mirror one or the sayjin flirting kismesis ass vacillating btw#you guys should fp just try it i swear you won't regret it#use the magical powers.....#share the burden.........#i as your personal demon that makes rounds around your head approve of this please#consider throwing some coins or 28 for even more brainrot i'm like dying in a corner and WILL die in a corner waiting for tuesday#also i have testing next week too i think hj is just cursed like that#we love to see it though
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chilapis · 10 days
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Speaking of family…. Chilapis family? 5 children. Maybe more.
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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months
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Drabble 84/366 - Doctor Who
This has never been a problem before, but then, the Doctor has never had a companion whose legs were so tiny.
One moment, Amelia is on his heels. The next, he looks back to see her at the end of the hallway. His screwdriver is in one hand, unlocking the door, but she won’t make it.
The Doctor careens back down the hall, screwdriver between his teeth as he scoops her up, and runs.
A bolt of energy clips his ear. He tucks Amelia’s head down.
“You need longer limbs,” he tells her, “or heelys.” Amelia, safe and sound, laughs.
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honeystudiesblog · 9 months
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Yes finding homeless orphans about to be murdered and saving them just so that they owe you their lives and must repay that debt by joining your terrorist organisation is the same as becoming an adoptive father
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starbuck · 3 months
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i can’t remember if i ever actually made the Ravenous Ghost Bell analysis post, but i wish i had time to make it because i feel like it would be received well in this moment…
#i mean… tldr: ghosts are real in Ravenous#mostly in the heads of the people who ate them#both to harass them in nightmares but also to influence their physical actions#(usually as an echo of something they themselves did in life)#there are COUNTLESS examples of this - which i will give the highlights of when i actually DO make the post#but there’s specifically a moment in the final Boyd-Ives showdown where a bell is rung#and we don’t see who rang it but it causes Boyd to focus and draws him to the barn where he sees the bear trap and is Inspired#and we can presume that the bear trap was Reich’s idea (based on that deleted bear trap shooting scene that i made the gifset of)#but then WHO rang the bell??#obviously it is implied to (and must have been) Ives#but why did he do it?#to get Boyd’s attention - naturally… sounds like him#he knows that time is ticking… wants to lure Boyd to his trap#BUT the thing is that Ives ate Reich too#and i feel like (being a long-time cannibal with no moral compass) he is probably Less influenced by the people he eats than Boyd is#but i also like to think that - in that moment - Reich subconsciously influenced him to do it#because - notably - Reich was the one who rung that bell the last time he left Fort Spencer - he’s the only character we see so it#so like. tldr again: ghosts are Real in Ravenous and Reich’s ghost rung the bell in that scene#to help Boyd focus and lead him to the solution that would give him the upper hand in the conflict to defeat Ives#and someday i will write ALL of that up properly - but it’s just SO good and i love to talk about it#so here i am#ghostposting the night away…#not tagging this because i want the REAL analysis to get notes whenever i post that#but feel FREE to chat with me about this if you see it!#i love Ravenous and i miss talking about it#i have SO much to say lol
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normaltothemax · 1 month
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@therebetterbepie from here
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“Who says I killed him?” Jason was no expert, but it might’ve been the gun in his hand that was giving him away. “He was like that when I found him.” Very convincing. His brows pull together (not that the other man can see his expression through his helmet) and he tilts his head slightly to the side. “The hell d’you mean ‘a shifter’? Shift-y, yeah. Asshole was part of a child trafficking ring. Liked to sample the goods.” There was murder in his voice, his hand tightening around his gun as he gave the body a hard kick. He should’ve taken more time with the piece of shit, rather than just putting a bullet between his eyes
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