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marjansmarwani · 3 years

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there ain’t a language for the things I feel

4.8k || ao3

In the wake of a tragedy, the firehouse family tries to move on and pick up the pieces while holding onto hope that seems to slip further and further away.

But nothing's over until it's over and they're going to pick up all the pieces and put them back together, just in case. ----- Day 9 of @911lonestarangstweek: Free Choice

Me getting this done and up just at the end of angst week? More likely than you’d think.

Several people read parts of this as I was working, but @moviegeek03 needs a special thanks for helping me with some of the specifics 💜

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The house at the end of the street looked like all the others.

Its blue siding blended in perfectly with its companions on the quiet residential street and as Judd pulled into the familiar driveway, nothing looked amiss. From the outside, it looked like nothing had happened. From where they stood, everything was fine and this was just a normal day and an average visit. Right now they could be heading to game night or dinner. They could be stopping by to say hello, popping by unannounced as they so often did. But the minute they opened the door that illusion would shatter and they’d have to face the grim reality waiting for them, so they all hovered at the edge of the front walk by some unspoken agreement as they allowed themselves to avoid this for just a few moments longer.

But ignorance couldn’t last forever so eventually, they moved forward.

It was Paul that made the first move, pulling out his keys and selecting the correct one as he approached the door. He slid the key into the lock without a word, all eyes on him as he turned it, pushing open the door to reveal the scene beyond it. There was another moment of collective hesitation on the threshold before Judd stepped forward, grabbing the yellow crime scene tape and pulling it down so they could enter their friends’ living room - or at least, what was left of it.

The once familiar space was unrecognizable as the furniture lay in shambles; splinters of each piece scattered across the room. If they hadn’t known where they were they never would have recognized the space. Nancy toed at the remains of a chair, shifting aside the debris with her foot only to reveal the dark red stain on the floor underneath. She turned away and let the pieces fall back into it.

They had just left the hospital, they had all seen the end result of this destruction. They had already known how bad it could be. Seeing it in this familiar context though? It drove it all home in the most unapologetic way. Nancy in particular was no stranger to the sight of blood, but seeing it in your friends’ home, knowing it belonged to one of them? That was something else entirely and no amount of professional detachment could make this okay. She turned away from the stain - ignoring the sound of glass crunching under her shoe from the shattered picture frames strewn across the floor - beside her to find Paul fingering an indent in the wall with a grim expression. When he felt her looking he met her gaze.

“Knife mark,” he said by way of explanation, his eyes roaming the rest of the walls. “Several of them, by the looks of it.”

Somehow the silence in the room seemed to grow even heavier in the wake of Paul’s words as they all took in the destruction and the damage and the fact that their friends had nearly died in their own home; that they still might, even now.

The silence was finally broken by Judd, his typical drawl much harsher than usual as it sliced through the quiet and dismay that filled the room.

“What the fuck happened here?” he demanded to the room at large, but he got no response. It was the same question they all had and as of yet, there were no answers. Only fear, pain, and a desperate hope that maybe, just maybe, this was as bad as it got. That maybe by some miracle their friends would pull through this, would survive this senseless act of violence.

That somehow TK and Carlos would be okay, because the alternative was too awful to consider.

---------

Marjan had been wrapping up practice when she got the call. It was Mateo on the other line, his shaking voice informing her that he was driving Captain Strand to St. David’s because he had been in the kitchen with the older man and Buttercup when he had been informed.

It was what he had said next that had sent her crashing back down onto the bench, skates in hand and concerned expressions trained on her as she tried her best to not absolutely shatter at the edge of the roller rink.

Nancy was at her sister’s, rolling her eyes at the antics of her nephews as she stirred the sauce on the stove and her sister gossiped about their Aunt Susan and her much younger boyfriend when her phone rang. Then she was out the door, the spoon abandoned on the counter with a shouted apology to her sister as she grabbed her coat and keys and tried to hide how much her hands were shaking as she reached for the doorknob and stepped out into the chilly Austin night. At least, she reasoned as she hurried to her car, if anyone did notice the way she trembled they would assume it was the cold — they didn’t have to know it was because it felt like her world was fraying at the seams.

Paul had been on a date and he felt bad for leaving her at the restaurant, he really did, but there was no other option. He knew his mother would string him up if she ever heard he had done something so rude to any of his dates, but he also had a feeling that in this case even Cynthia Stickland would allow him this one. Maybe he should have taken her home first but she had assured him it was fine and he knew that he couldn’t have handled the wait. He knew that every moment he was driving in the opposite direction of the hospital would weigh on him, that he would crack under the strain and that was not second date territory. So he returned to the table after he ended his call, voice tight as he made his hurried apologies and she assured him that no, it was fine, that she hoped everything turned out okay.

He had somehow managed a smile as he turned away and he thanked her for her sentiments, even if he didn’t share just how desperately he wished they came true.

Judd had been getting their daughter ready for her evening bath when Grace had appeared in the doorway with his phone in her hand and eyes full of fear. He had taken the phone from her and sat heavily on the edge of the tub as Mateo quietly explained what had happened, and where they would be. Grace had already scooped up little Charlotte and merely shook her head when he looked at her.

“You need to go, Judd,” she said softly, squeezing their little girl close as she spoke, “go be with them, and keep me posted. Tell them I’ll be praying.”

And there was so much Judd wanted to say to that, so many thoughts in his head and so many feelings fighting for dominance that in the end, he said nothing. He simply stood on shaking legs and leaned forward to press a kiss to each of his girls, pausing for another moment to hold them both close before he stepped around them, grabbing his coat and heading out into the night.

As he climbed into his truck he tried to tell himself that it would all be okay, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe it.

----------

“I talked to Mitchell before we left,” Marjan finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence filling the room. “She said that APD is done processing, so we can do whatever we want with...what’s left.”

Paul looked up, pulling his gaze from where it had settled on a dark stain on the throw rug. “Did she say if they have any leads? Or even an idea of what happened?”

She shook her head sadly, “No. There’s not much they can go on. None of the neighbors saw anything and all the blood...well, it won’t help to find their attackers, apparently. As for what happened, apparently they have some theories, but we won’t really know anything until one of them wakes up.”

“If they wake up,” Nancy added, voice harsh and quiet as she looked at the destruction around them. She didn’t want to be a pessimist, but the others didn’t know. They knew it was bad, but they hadn’t gotten the rundown from one of the trauma nurses on duty. They didn’t have the medical training to know that what they had been through; that the injuries they had weren’t the kind you always recovered from.

That they could just as easily be fatal, given the chance.

Nobody chastised her for being pessimistic. They simply moved on, nobody willing to dwell on the questions they didn’t have answers to and the fears that they did.

“We should still get this cleaned up,” Mateo said eventually, “so when they get home it looks like nothing happened.”

His words were full of a certainty Nancy wished she felt, but no one countered him either. They all wanted him to be right, Nancy knew and she understood. She wanted him to be right too; she wanted that more than anything.

So she took off her jacket and laid it across the ledge by the front door before pushing up her sleeves heading towards the kitchen.

“I’ll grab some garbage bags,” she called over her shoulder. “Once we’ve cleaned up all the stuff we can’t save we’ll have a better idea of what we’re working with.”

Noises of agreement followed her out of the room and as she pulled open the cupboard under the sink where she knew they stashed the cleaning supplies she allowed herself a moment to embrace Mateo’s unshakable optimism. They would get their home cleaned up so they had somewhere to come home to. They would get it back to normal so it looked like their home and not the nightmare they had walked into.

They would put everything back together so maybe, just maybe, someday when she closed her eyes she would see how it had been before, and not the scene of destruction they had walked into today.

------------

“What happened?” Marjan demanded as she stepped into the waiting room, softening when she saw the faces before her all full of the same fear and panic she was feeling.

“We don’t know,” Captain Strand said eventually with a small, helpless shrug. “Nobody knows. One of their neighbors was walking their dog when she saw the door open. She said something didn’t feel right so she went to check, and she found them.”

He didn’t provide any other details, didn’t specify how they were found and that more than anything filled her with dread.

“Gabriel is trying to get answers,” another voice shared, this one soft and thick. Marjan looked over to see Carlos’s mother in the seat beside the captain, her face pale and eyes full of worry, “I think maybe he thinks it’ll be easier to process if we know. Or maybe he just needs something else to focus on. Either way, he doesn’t seem to be having much luck.”

Marjan followed the older woman’s nod to a figure in the corner, speaking into his phone as he turned his hat over and over in his free hand as his foot tapped against the floor. Even from here his distress was palpable; the fear and worry etched clearly into every inch of his face. It made her wonder once again what had happened. She may have only known Gabriel Reyes for a short period of time and not very well at all, but she knew him well enough to know that whatever had happened was bad. Gabriel Reyes loved his son, she didn’t doubt that. But the man was a Texas Ranger; he had spent a lifetime seeing unthinkable things. Yet here he was, clearly shaken to his very core. For something to have affected him this much...the very idea left a cold feeling of dread seeping through her core.

“Do we at least know how they are?” she questioned again, voice quieter in the face of all the hurt and fear encompassing them.

It was Tommy who spoke this time, the paramedic captain’s voice tight with barely concealed pain and worry, “They’re alive, and that’s something.”

The way she said it made Marjan wonder what she knew and what she wasn’t saying. She wanted to push, she wanted to demand answers. She wanted to know what had happened to her friends; to two of the people that had become family to her.

But it was clear they were all in the same boat, that none of these people knew any more than she did and that they all cared just as much. So she swallowed her questions and sank into the empty seat beside Mateo, glancing around at the others as she did. In some ways this was horrifyingly familiar but in others, it felt so different. Every other time they had at least known what had brought them here and what they were facing. This unknown entity; the uncertainty hung heavy in the air around them and it made her queasy. The questions mixed with her fear, leaving an unpleasant taste in her mouth. But there were no answers to be had and, even if there were, they wouldn’t help.

She sighed and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair as she accepted the inevitable: there was nothing she could do but wait, and hope for the best.

---------

People had always asked Paul why he wasn’t a cop, given his propensity to solve puzzles and spot patterns. There were the obvious answers, of course: that the police force was less than tolerant generally speaking, that the very institution wasn’t something Paul thought he could really take a part in.

Then there was the less obvious but just as true reason: Paul wanted to help people, but he didn’t want to watch them suffer. He wanted to help people to escape the worst moments of their lives, not pick up the pieces after. Firefighters got to do that, cops didn’t.

In that regard, he had a lot of respect for Carlos. How he could do that and still maintain a modicum of sanity and compassion was beyond Paul, but he truly admired him for it. Which, somehow, made this even worse.

Paul already knew that he didn’t have crime scene investigation in him, that hadn’t been a question. But he couldn’t stop himself from trying to put together the pieces as he stood amongst the destruction of his friends’ living room. He couldn’t stop himself from seeing the patterns, from hypothesizing how each bit of damage was caused; on how each bit of blood was spilled. It filled his head with unwanted images the moments as it happened; of what they must have been through.

He had never hated his skills more than he did at this moment. He didn’t want to see this, to imagine what might have happened. He didn’t want to move aside some of the debris to find some blood and wonder whose it was. He didn’t want to dwell on the idea of two of his closest friends suffering; being brutally attacked in their own home. A place that had felt safe, that had almost been a second home to Paul. But that illusion of safety had been shattered and now it just felt like an awful reminder, and he would give anything to be able to look at it objectively.

A part of him wanted to keep going, to keep trying to solve the puzzle before him. It would help, a voice in his mind said, it could bring whoever did this to justice.

And that was tempting. He did want to see whoever had done this pay for what they did. But he also knew that it wouldn’t actually change anything. Carlos and TK would still be hurt, the rest of their family would still be suffering.

------

Home invasion.

That was the reigning theory now. It was a home invasion gone terribly, horrifically wrong. They didn’t know whether they had been home from the start or if they had interrupted it; they didn’t know if it was random or if it was something that had been planned; if they had been targeted. They didn’t know anything, and Paul hated not knowing things.

This was one of those things, someone had said. One of those random acts of violence with no real motive or explanation. Realistically, Paul knew they happened. He just couldn’t understand how it had happened to his friends. He had never put too much stock in the idea of fate - he firmly believed that everyone made their own choices in life - but he couldn’t help but wonder why them. Why did TK and Carlos - two people who had given so much of themselves to help others each and every day - deserve to have so much suffering?

Eventually, they did find the culprit, or culprits, as they soon discovered when one of them tried to use TK’s credit card to pay at a gas station only a few miles from their house, but having the answers didn’t make it make any more sense.

Paul had already known that catching their attacker wouldn’t make everything magically better, but he hadn’t imagined it would make anything worse. But as the detective on the case explained, he found he was wrong. Apparently, according to the one who would talk, he and his buddies had broken into an empty home. It was early evening and the lights were off so they had figured it was a good enough target. But they had been interrupted, he said, when two men had entered the house and caught them in the act. They had all been high, he admitted, so the details were fuzzy, but he knew that one of their group tended to have a particularly violent streak and that that night, he couldn’t be reasoned with.

It was him who had used the knife, their informer clarified, but another had helped. He had thought the two men who had come in were dead by the time he had gotten his buddies to stop, he had admitted quietly, so he had pulled them out of the house as fast as he could and had never looked back.

The room was so silent when the detective finished speaking that you could have heard a pin drop. The sound of Nancy’s chair scraping against the floor as she stood and rushed out of the room cut through the space like a gunshot and it was all Paul could do to simply breathe. Slowly the others reacted too, as Judd started swearing up and down and Marjan rose to follow Nancy, her own eyes moist but her back straight as she strode out of the room. He heard his Captain and Ranger Reyes asking questions but for once, Paul managed to shut that part of himself off.

There was no making sense of this, he decided, so the best thing he could do was focus on helping them move forward instead; assuming that they got that chance.

-----------

Mateo was pretty sure he had developed a stress response to the sight of Ikea furniture.

It always seemed to appear in the aftermath of a tragedy, and he had seen it too many times in the past few years. After the condo fire, after his house blew up, and now as they set about replacing some of the furniture that had once stood in TK and Carlos’s living room.

Maybe it should be a good thing, he reasoned. The furniture came with the rebuilding, after all.

It had come when TK and Carlos had first bought this place and needed a couple of staple pieces quickly. They would buy real furniture soon, Carlos vowed, but until they could get around to it, some cheap and easy pieces would do. Mateo wondered if they had ever gotten around to it. He kind of hoped they hadn’t.

“Man I hope they appreciate this,” Paul said as he flipped through the convoluted instructions for the bookshelf.

“Of course they will.” Nancy countered from the other side of the room. “If they know what’s good for them.”

The light and optimistic banter was a change from the days before. The others seemed more hopeful now, readier to believe the best of the situation. Mateo supposed he had himself to thank for it, he was the one that had insisted from the start that they would be okay, after all.

But the thing is, he’s not so sure he even believes it anymore.

As the others’ optimism grows, his own seems to fade. It’s been too long, a voice whispered in his mind. If they aren’t okay by now, they never will be again.

It’s a thought that keeps returning and as many times as he shoves it aside, as he pushes it back; it just keeps coming and coming and coming. Mateo has always been the optimist. He has always been the one to think the best of everyone except himself. He had always believed that everything would work out.

But he’s tired. There have been so many times and so many nights spent hoping when everyone else was doubting. There have been so many times when the worst should have happened but didn’t, by some miracle. And Mateo was okay with the idea of miracles - he had been raised Catholic, after all. But he couldn’t help but think they were running out, and that was something he wasn’t ready to face.

So he shoved it back again and plastered on a smile as he sorted through the packaging to find the piece Paul was describing. Mateo Chavez was an optimist, he reminded himself. And optimists didn’t give up on their friends.

No matter how bad things might look.

----------

From the moment Grace had handed him his phone time had seemed to slow.

It was the waiting, Judd thought, that made it drag on. All the hours sitting in the waiting room; the sleepless nights spent dreading a phone call to say that the worst had happened. They moved forward and they moved on because they had to, but every moment seemed to stretch as they grew further and further from a time when everything was fine and closer to the moment that could change everything.

Hope seemed to ebb and flow as time marched on and optimism came in spikes. But it wears on them all and Judd wished time could just go back to normal, that this could all be over.

But then he thinks of what “over” might mean, and he backtracks.

For a while it seemed that maybe one of them had better odds than the other. That while one of them might pull through, the other might not. No one really talked about it; what that might mean for the one. They all loved them both and to have either of them with them would be a blessing, Judd didn’t doubt that for a moment. It was what they all wanted more than anything.

But he was also in love, and he knew that those two had the same kind of love that he and Gracie did: all consuming, bright, deep love that wrapped you to another for the rest of time. To truly be one half of a whole. And - it was a thought he kept to himself, of course - he couldn’t help but think that the only thing crueler than losing them both was for one of them to lose the other. He couldn’t imagine facing that and he didn’t want to see anyone else have to go through it either. He knew people did - hell, Tommy was proof enough of that - but if he could he would do anything to spare them the pain of that.

So he prays, more than he has in years. If there were ever a time to test the strength of his healing faith, it was now.

And then, by some miracle, the news finally comes.

He and the others are standing in their living room, taking in the newly repaired space. There isn’t a trace of the destruction they had found when they had first arrived and stepped past the crime scene tape to see the horror within what had been their friends’ home. It now looks almost as it did before: a warm, safe space they had all spent many nights in. A welcoming place that felt a bit like home.

The walls had been repaired and repainted, the floors had been cleaned, the furniture had been repaired or replaced. The pictures had been rehung in new, undamaged frames and all their various knick-knacks and tchotchkes were sitting in their usual spots. The only thing missing now was TK and Carlos.

It was Nancy’s phone that rang, her voice that cut through the room as she asked Tommy what had happened. It was the sight of her collapsing into one of the chairs that drew their attention and stole all their breath. And when she looked up at them, it was her smile and tear-filled eyes that let them know they could breathe again as she said the words they had all been waiting to hear: “They’re going to be okay.”

And then time picked up again and as the others let out sounds of celebration and Paul picked up Marjan to spin her around, Judd simply smiled.

They’re okay, a voice in his head repeated, everything will be fine now.

And for once, Judd actually believed it.

----------

It’s all TK can do not to roll his eyes as his dad insists on helping him out of the back seat of Andrea’s car.

“Dad,” he said evenly, “I can walk, you know.”

“Humor me,” his dad retorted in an unimpressed tone.

TK opened his mouth to argue again but a soft laugh from beside him stole his attention instead.

“Don’t even bother,” Carlos told him, “believe me, I’ve tried.”

Somewhere between Carlos’s words and the warmth in his eyes TK found he couldn’t argue so he nodded and Owen shook his head, mystified.

“I will never understand how you do that. If it were anyone else we would still be having this argument into next week.”

Carlos simply shrugged modestly but TK spoke up as they headed up the walkway to their front door, “It’s just one of his many talents.”

Owen looked beside him to Garbiel with an exaggerated roll of his eyes as Andrea let out a light laugh from behind them. Carlos gave TK a pointed look but it was only met with a grin, and his attention was so devoted to his boyfriend that he almost didn’t notice the small crowd in their living room until they were already there. From there he was forced to do a double-take. His memories of that night were hazy, at best. It was a jumble of pain and fear and worry for Carlos as he watched him being attacked through heavy eyes. His recollection may be less than clear, but he is certain their home had been left in shambles.

Yet here they were, standing in a living room that might just be cleaner than they had left before heading to dinner all those nights ago; before they had come home to find strangers ransacking their home and TK couldn’t understand it.

He looked back to Carlos who looked just as confused as he was before glancing over at the group in the center of the room; his team, their family.

The question must have been clear on his face because Nancy scoffed.

“What?” she demanded, “Did you really think we were just going to let you come home to that mess? It’s like you don’t even know us.”

And TK didn’t have the words to respond to that. Instead, he simply glanced back at Carlos to see the love and gratitude he was feeling reflected in his warm brown eyes before he looked back at the others. He gave them a smile and when Judd moved forward to pull him into a hug, he went willingly, savoring the comfort and love that was emanating from every inch of this space filled by these people.

Someday, when the shock wore off and they were a little stronger, they would find the words to tell them how much it meant. But for now he hugged them all a little tighter and a little longer, and let his whispered thank-yous suffice. They had a long road ahead of them and being okay would take time. But he knew now with more certainty than he ever had before that as long as they had these people, they would always be okay.

#911 lone star #911lsfic #my writing #paul strickland #marjan marwani #nancy gillian #mateo chavez #judd ryder #userkimmy #userjilly #userac #userbones #tuserjamie #tuserpaige #reyesstrand #reyeslonestartag #jazzyjess #buckybarnesalways

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its-deputy-caleb · 3 years

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Micah Bell - Partners in Crime and in Love Pt.1

YES i know there’s 58 requests sitting in my inbox for re8 HOWEVER red dead is my comfort game and i needed to write this verbal mess down. I’ve been thinking of writing a micah fic for weeks now and i finally did it bc as much as i love re8 red dead is my fav and always will be. this is so self indulgent i swear.

for anyone that actually reads this the reader is pretty gn but does lean towards fem this time and i’ll be doing a part 2 for sure bc i love the rat man.

part 2 is now here

—————————————————————

Today was finally the day. The day for the big bank job that Dutch insisted was the right move for the gang. This was despite numerous doubts from Hosea and various other camp members that robbing a bank in broad daylight in the state’s largest city was a risk the gang couldn’t afford to make right now.

The whole morning there had been a sour feeling in your gut, a tiny voice shouting in the back of your mind that something wasn’t right. It wasn’t like you to get nervous on a job, in fact you recently robbed the Valentine bank with Bill on his job. Originally you weren’t interested in going, happy to let Karen go on her own with the guys but Bill insisted you go as you were one of the best gunslingers the gang had.

Robbing and killing came naturally to you and being outlawed in six states had never bothered you during your time as an outlaw. That’s why it was almost impossible for you to ignore the sick feeling in your stomach that was slowly building.

Making your way over to Micah, you see him sitting on a wooden crate cleaning his guns for the inevitable shootout that comes with bank jobs. Taking a seat next to him, Micah doesn’t need to ask you how you are; he can practically see how restless and agitated you look.

That’s the thing about your relationship with Micah, you understood each other (especially in public) and didn’t need grand public displays of affection to know exactly what the other needed in that moment.

The camp mostly stayed clear of your relationship, I mean you were probably two of the camp’s biggest troublemakers and risk takers when it came to planning jobs and robbing folk. Both of you had a shot quicker than lightening and could practically shoot your way out of any situation you found yourselves in. But regardless of how ruthless anyone thought you two were, you always had each other’s backs and wouldn’t stop to think about saving the other.

One night after a successful train job Dutch decided to hold a camp celebration. It was a mostly quiet night for you, having not decided to party with your companions despite Sean, Charles and Javier all offering for you to join in. Instead you decided to spend the mostly quiet night with Micah sharing a bottle of whiskey and splitting your share of the earnings. After each job you always had a bet with Micah over who could shoot the highest number of lawman. It was a bet the two of you had with each other just to cause more mischief and it always brought a smile to your face when Micah would lose and sulk about it for the rest of the afternoon

At one point during the night Bill strolled over to you while Micah went to get another bottle of whiskey. He was nice and polite despite the smell of beer coming from his breath, maybe even a little flirtatious and all was well until he asked the question ‘Why is you with a rat like him when you could be with someone as charming as me?’. Bill ended up with a face full of dirt and a broken nose, not to mention a killer hangover.

So yeah, the gang tended to leave you and Micah alone…

Micah’s knee lightly brushing against your own brings your thoughts back to reality. He’s stopped cleaning his guns and is looking at you with soft eyes and a gentle smile, the one that’s only reserved for you.

Despite being a hardened outlaw that has known nothing but chaos and the open road for most of your life. The gang has observed from afar your softer sides, whether it be the time you both fell asleep next to each other by the campfire or getting shit scared when the other has been shot and the rest of the night is spent with soft kisses and bandage wrapping.

Micah holsters his revolver and gently takes your hand in his.

“Sweetheart we’re gonna be fine, ain’t nothing gonna go wrong, now common let’s go get dressed for such a special occasion.”

Everyone is just starting to get into their fancy attire for the job when you and Micah are already packing your saddles and getting ready. You’re wearing matching white suits with a red shirt only yours is tailored to show off your figure a lot more and your plunge top and corset doesn’t leave much to the imagination but hey, if you’re gonna go out it’s gonna be in style.

As Micah finishes tightening up Baylock’s saddle you lean forward and hold his wrist in your hand. Your thumb gently brushes the soft skin there, trying to hide the nerves that have been slowly eating away at you all day.

“I don’t like this Micah, somethings gonna go wrong I can feel it…”

Micah’s never been great with emotions but you’ve known him long enough to know how he comforts you. The arm that’s caught in your grasp turns and brings you forward into a hug, his chin resting on your head as you hold him tightly against you.

“Ain’t nothin gonna happen to us, just think of it as another bank job.”

You nod and hold him closer, a rare event for such a public place where anyone could walk by but neither of you really cared at that moment. You press your face into his shoulder, trying to shake off your uneasiness.

“You better not die on me now Bell, you still owe me that new holster for beating you in five finger fillet.”

Fuck did the bank job go wrong. Horribly wrong. From the moment you got off your horses and stepped foot in that bank it all turned to hell.

Bullets where flying everywhere, there were civilians screaming in terror trying not to get caught in the crossfire, glass was being shattered by dynamite and Dutch was trying to formulate a plan while in shock of losing his dear Hosea.

A bullet whizzed past your head and you took out another Pinkerton. It was chaos. Every time you managed to bring down the line of Pinkertons another carriage full of them would arrive with the Saint Denis Police.

You couldn’t see Micah anywhere, but each time you tried to look for him your attention was dragged back to the action in front of you and the numerous Pinkertons shooting at you.

Arthur had snuck onto the roof at some point and some of the other members where making their way towards the rooftop as well. You were about to make a bolt towards Dutch and Javier on the ladder when Charles stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.

“Go that way, we’re the diversion! Karen and Sadie are a waiting near the alleyway of the tavern, we’ll meet you back at camp in a few hours, GO!”

Charles pushes you down the alley way and climbs up the ladder to catch up to the others. You would’ve protested but your body is running on adrenaline so you didn’t think as you snuck your way out of safety.

Micah was furious that Charles had sent you off on your own to find your way back, if it wasn’t for the fact that the five of them where hiding from the law in a rundown city apartment he probably would have argued with him for hours.

But deep down he knew it was the right thing to do. He knew that you’d be 100 times safer away from this chaos then if you were here with him, even if you could handle yourself.

For hours they sat in that little room, Dutch formulating a plan on how to get out of here while Micah tried not to worry about whether you made it home safe. Now he understood that sick feeling of worry in your stomach, he only ever got it when he worried about you.

By nightfall Dutch had somewhat of a plan to escape via the docks, sneak out onto a ship that would take them somewhere and it hit Micah in that moment that it would be some time before he saw you again…

The guards where everywhere, the entire city on high alert after the bank and Charles ended up running so everyone could make it onto a boat. As Dutch attempted to negotiate with the captain for a cabin, Micah lit a cigarette from his blazer pocket, trying to take his first deep breath of the night.

“We were fools for thinking we could pull off the bank…”

Arthur rests against the crates, fatigue clear in his eyes but willing himself to stay awake. Micah however didn’t want to sit and talk about what could have happened and what actually did, he had a headache already and certainly didn’t need a lecture from Arthur for another reckless decision he helped create.

“Whatever you say Morgan.”

Sighing defeatedly, Micah flicks his cigarette bud over the side and into the water below, making his way to go sit on the other side of the crates where he can think.

Back at camp you pace around the halls of Shady Belle, the floorboards creaking under the weight of your boots.

“Fuck this I’m going to find them-“

Before you make it out the front door however Miss Grimshaw blocks your exits.

“You’re not going anywhere anytime soon. The Pinkertons are everywhere looking for us. Now I know you want your precious Mr. Bell back but you’re just going to have to wait out the next few hours until he returns with the rest.”

You decide to ignore the slight condescending tone of Susan as you see a rider approaching into camp. Your hand is on your holster, everyone who’s left joining you to crowd around the man slowly coming closer. Everyone is relieved to see its Charles, but only slightly. He’s alone and a horrible feeling of fear washes over you.

“Charles… Where is everyone… Where’s Micah?”

#micah bell #micah bell imagine #micah bell x reader #i missed the rat man sm #it’s actually unbelieveable how badly i’ve missed writing for him #soft and angsty rat #soft rat 🥺🥺🥺#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 writing #red dead redemption fanfiction #this is rushed and unedited #van der linde gang

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wordsnwhiskey · 3 years

Text

Is It Living If You've Left Your Life Behind?

Pairing: Dave York & GN!Reader

Summary: Thanks to you, Dave escaped the showdown with McCall. You planned to take him to a safehouse on the other side of the country where he could recover and get started on living a new life. In order to do that though, he has to leave his wife, his daughters and his life behind. He can't help but wonder, is it really living if he has to leave his life behind?

Rating: T for Language I guess

A/N: This is my late submission for @autumnleaves1991-blog 's Writer Wednesday. I got into my feels tonight and Dave was calling to me. It's my first time writing for him and this is a different take on Dave than I'd normally go for. A softer/angstier Dave but honestly, given this situation where he survives? I don't see classic Dave shining through, at least not until something kicks his ass into gear. The man is injured and more than a little lost. Also, I'll probably edit this later, it's 03:30 and apparently I have a knack for posting things when I should be asleep.

Masterlist | AO3

There was nothing but the open road ahead of him as he sat in the passenger seat, a permanent grimace affixed to his face. His pain ebbed and flowed but at least that meant he was alive. Alive with nothing but the open road ahead of him and his entire life behind him.

Dave really only had you to thank for that. A life debt for a life debt even if it meant he no longer had his life, not really at least. His girls were well over a thousand miles behind him, everything he’d known and loved, he’d likely never see again. You were the only thing Mac hadn’t counted on and even though Dave had lost religion a long time ago, he thanked whatever god or higher power out there that you had kept your head about you during the showdown.

He had been furious at first that you hadn’t tried to kill McCall, only stalled long enough to get him and yourself out of there under the cover of the storm. His anger had quickly dissipated though, you had made the right call, of course. He still had trouble seeing out of his eye, a concussion from being blown off of his feet and plenty of bruises complemented the odd cut or two Mac had managed to land. Things would have been a lot worse had you not intervened.

You glanced over at Dave, hunched over, curling himself into the passenger window. Dave fucking York. He had really gotten himself in it this time but you couldn’t find it in yourself to blame him. In this industry, shit decisions had to be made all the time and Lady Luck was rarely ever kind. People died, that was the business. What else was the married father of two supposed to do when he was cut loose? Assimilate? That kind of thing wasn’t for people like you or Dave York, not really. McCall was too high up on his high horse to get enough oxygen to his brain and too blinded by his own grief to see it.

Then again, you were definitely biased.

“How’s your pain level?”

You asked, and were met with a withering glare, his newly-crooked, hawkish nose only served to further accentuate the harshness in his eyes.

He hadn’t talked much during the already several day trip. Not that you needed the conversation, but you understood better than anyone he knew who was still alive aside from the man you were fleeing from, what this felt like. You hated how people romanticized it, leaving everything behind and starting over. It never worked that way. Your family and friends lived and died and you couldn’t be part of any of it. And now Dave, Dave had two daughters and a wife but they might as well be poison now. Poison to his mind, torture to think about. Poison to the touch if he ever went to see them again, because surely McCall would be watching them from afar, waiting.

The same thoughts seemed to be on his mind, from the corner of your eye you could see him slump further into the window, clutching a small photograph he had pulled from his wallet. For all that he was, former agent, mercenary, murderer, assassin, he was still a family man, a soft man at heart and going into hiding away from this family had just as much likelihood of killing him as McCall did.

“I’m not going to see them again am I?” Dave murmured as he stared down at the photo, thumb grazing over his daughters’ faces.

You opened your mouth then closed it again, contemplating giving him platitudes or the truth. He chuckled at your reaction, a hollow sound devoid of any humor.

“Spare me the bullshit.”

Your grip on the steering wheel tightened and you let out a sigh.

“I don’t know Dave. If McCall winds up dead then yeah, that’s an option. I haven’t been back to see my family but I don’t have the same… things anchoring me somewhere or drawing me back.”

Silently, he turned to resume watching the passing orange and brown landscape fly by.

It had been about another two hours since he last spoke and he had been so still and quiet, you thought he might have fallen asleep.

“Why’d you do it? Why are you doing this?”

His voice is gruffer, made thicker from the knot of emotion in his throat. It startles you out of your own reverie.

“Do what?”

“Why did you bother saving me? You could have made it out of there and been in another country by now. Fuck, you could have dumped me at a hospital anywhere along this godforsaken road and still be in another country by now.”

You frowned, somehow you had hoped his relative silence meant you would be able to get through this journey without delving into any sort of feelings.

“It crossed my mind, on both counts.”

He raised an eyebrow, not so much in surprise that you had thought about it, more so that you hadn’t gone through with it.

“I didn’t have any part in Susan’s death so McCall would have stopped hunting me eventually.”

You spared him a glance, he was staring at you intently, analyzing.

“Is this the part where you tell me you love me?”

You scoffed and looked at him incredulously then shook your head.

“No, it’s even more pathetic than that, Dave. You’re probably the closest thing to a friend I have and we’ve tried to kill each other before.”

That got a small laugh out of him, because really, what was more ridiculous in their line of work than friends?

Probably having a family. Dave grimaced as the thought echoed in his mind.

“We were the best at what we did.”

He said, with an air of nostalgia and you nodded in agreement.

“And the worst, somehow even with us each taking on contracts for the other, here we are, still living.”

The small smile faded from your lips at his silence and lack of a response. Your gaze fell on him again as he shrugged his mouth and sighed.

“Are we? Is it living if I’m leaving my life behind?”

This was not the Dave York you knew. Occasionally, you had seen the wry humor, and suave exterior give way to the side of him that accepted “New Hamster” as an answer instead of “New Hampshire” but not even that remained. The Dave next to you had all of those layers peeled back. He was raw and unsure.

You didn’t answer him for a few minutes, honestly there wasn’t much of anything you could say that wasn’t a load of shit. You were both too practical for pep talks. Moreover, it wasn’t a question you had even stopped to ask yourself. The answer and the journey to that answer was a dangerous one.

“I- …. It’s the best option you’ve got right now, Dave. It’s a pretty fucked situation, my advice? Take it one hour a time and if you can manage that, take it one day at a time.”

“An hour?” Dave shook his head and rubbed his stubbled chin with his hand. “All I’ve seen for hours is dirt and sand. While Mac is probably watching Carol and the girls like a fucking hawk.”

You pursed your lips, and eyed the upcoming sign detailing the available lodging and food at the upcoming exit.

“Well you’ll have the inside of our next motel room to stare at in another hour.”

Dave slipped back into silence and you simultaneously welcomed and detested it. Things were simpler without him getting all philosophical on you and contemplating what made living actually living. It hardly mattered though because he had already gone and planted that damned seed inside your brain.

You pulled up to a not entirely shitty motel and paid for the night before going back for Dave who was waiting in the car. The room wasn’t terrible and after a thorough check, you could at least confirm there weren’t any critters who would be keeping you company. At least there were two beds.

After a dinner of pizza from the diner down the road you had taken Dave on a detour to the gas station to get a burner phone. In your haste to put as much distance as possible between you and McCall, you hadn’t bothered to get him one earlier. Once that was finished you both headed back to your room to unwind.

Dave sat in one of the rickety chairs at the small table that seemed to be actively trying to shed it’s veneer layer. With a sigh, he went to work stripping and reassembling his pistol. It was calming, relaxing for him. All of the pieces had a purpose, an order, to be pulled apart then reassembled, very much unlike his life right now. Nothing had purpose or order and everything had been pulled apart, leaving him broken shards to piece back together.

Hours passed and by the look of him, you figured Dave’s fingers might have gone numb from the repetitive movements and his eyes were drooping, well his good eye was drooping more than normal since the one McCall had nearly managed to gouge was still a little worse for wear.

“Dave, get some sleep. You’re no good to me or yourself if you’re half asleep.”

You know he’s been fighting sleep for a while now, he does every night just like he fights the pain you’re sure he’s feeling but refuses to take anything for. For the first time since you two set off, you’re not annoyed by it. He’ll sleep soundly at least once he let’s exhaustion take him. All the better for what you have planned.

It wasn’t until 01:00 that Dave was finally asleep soundly enough that you felt you could get up without waking him. Quietly, you made for the table, using the flimsy pad of paper and pen there to write a note before you walked out the door and shut it behind you. Thankfully, the city you had stopped in was populated enough that rideshare services were available and in less time than you had figured, you were on your way to the airport.

Dave woke up and immediately knew something was off. It was too quiet and there was too much sun trying to peek through the curtains for it to be the usual time you both headed out for the day. He sat up quickly and grabbed his pistol, then looked around the room for any signs of danger until his eyes fell upon the pad of paper on the table. A sharp pain arched through his skull when he stood up, a remnant of his concussion. He took the note in hand and began to read:

Dave,

I figure, if I’m lucky, I’ve got 4 hours on you. If I’m really lucky, I’ve got 6. Anything more than that and I’m disappointed in you, Dave.

He looked up from the note at the digital clock on the nightstand, it read 07:30. A wry grin threatens to take shape on his lips. You’d be disappointed.

I’m not going to make this some sort of sappy letter. I don’t have time for that shit. You were right. It isn’t really living if you’ve left your life behind. Out of the two of us, you’re the only one who really has one to miss. The only way you get to go back to Carol, Molly and Alice is if McCall is out of the picture, so I’m going to give it a shot. I left you enough cash to pay the room through the week and then some. If you don’t hear from me after a week, call the number at the bottom of this note and tell him you’re cashing in a favor for me. He’ll help you out. Might even know someone else who can help with your family. I left you the car, keys are on my bed.

Good Luck.

Dave’s throat went dry and then he saw at least four shades of red before he finally calmed down to assess the situation. Then all at once, it was like ice had been poured in his veins and things began to shift into focus.

What the fuck was he doing?

This entire time he had been wallowing, perhaps well earned, but he should have been planning. He had let his grief for the loss of Susan, the storm of emotions he felt seeing Mac still alive and a simple job that had spun drastically out of control, completely cloud his judgement. He was just as well trained as Mac, but he had let his anger and emotions get the best of him on that watchtower, he couldn’t let that happen again.

Dave moved quickly and methodically as he collected everything he needed from the room and headed out to the car. He really shouldn’t drive with his eye being what it was but he only needed to get to the airport and he could make it that far at least.

He couldn’t let Mac kill you, like Ari, Reznik, and Kovac. Family.

Like hell if he was going to let the closest person he had to a friend get killed.

If anyone was going to kill you, it’d be him, just for you trying to pull off something as stupid as this.

He knew this was the best move though, Mac wouldn't be expecting an attack this soon this time, the attack wouldn't be in the middle of gale force winds on Mac's home turf. You... and he would have the upper hand this time.

Dave got through the airport with relative ease thanks to him having TSA pre-check, no one bothered to ask him about his eye which he did his best to hide with a baseball cap.

He sat down and waited for his flight to be called. Mentally, he began going through the disassembly and reassembly of the rifle he had with him at the watchtower to help focus himself and pass the time.

The PA system broke his concentration and alerted him that it was time to board. Dave was tense when he finally got to his seat and sat down. His jaw was set in concentration as he started to come up with a new battleplan and weighing his options. Yes, he was injured but he'd been through worse on missions and come out on top.

At least one person was going to die by the end of the week and he'd be damned if you and him weren't the last ones standing.

Thanks for reading, tagging a few people interested/who might be interested:

@wheresarizona @pascalsimp @beesting77 @boxdyeblonde @lackofhonor @kaybrownies @agentwhiskeypussyindulgence @elegantduckturtle @janebby @faithkeeper-81 @doin-stuff @danniburgh @pascalslittlebrat @mothandpidgeon @mouthymandalorianalso @phoenixhalliwell @kesskirata @starlightmornings @wyn-dixie

#Writer Wednesday #Dave York #Dave York x Reader #Dave York Pit #Dave York x you #my fics

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isolemnlyswearpevensie · 4 years

Text

Paper Cut Part 3 | Edmund Pevensie x Reader Soulmate AU

Warnings: Nothing but fluff! Seriously, it’ll rot your teeth.

Time/Era: Modern AU but the Pevensies have still been to Narnia

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Exactly a year after meeting his beloved Y/N, Edmund introduced her to his family.

Request: Can you please do a part three to paper cut... maybe where she gets to go to narnia? Or meet the rest of the pevensies? I loved that piece so much!

A/N: The long-awaited part 3 to paper cut!!!! Ahhh I love this AU so much, you have no idea! I’ve really been looking forward to writing this! Enjoy ~

Part 1 | Part 2 | masterlist | read on ao3

“Darling, when can I meet them?” Y/N said, laying on her stomach. She was on Edmund’s bed with her laptop sat afront of her. Edmund sat at his desk doing his own homework, his back towards Y/N.

“Meet who?” He turned around in his chair. He smiled looking at his girl lounging on his bed. “And don’t you have homework to be doing?”

“Peter, Susan, and Lucy!!” She rolled onto her back and stretched her limbs. “And it’s boring, so I decided to procrastinate it until the last possible second, thank you very much.”

Edmund’s smile grew fonder, and he stood up to join her on the bed. This year, he decided to move out of the university’s dorms and finally get his own apartment. It was small, but it beat living with a roommate he didn’t like.

“Move over, let me sit on my own bed,” He pushed her side and she rolled like a log.

“Hey!” Y/N giggled. “This is my real estate! Get your own!”

Y/N turned to face the now laying Edmund; their noses were less than an inch apart and he had a shit-eating grin on his face. It was the type of Edmund grin that only showed when he was genuinely happy. It made the corners of his eyes crinkle and his teeth show.

“You are so beautiful,” Y/N said before she could stop herself. Edmund’s face twisted into a happy confusion.

“Aren’t I the one who is supposed to tell you that?”

“Boys can be beautiful too, you’re living proof.” Y/N reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. His skin was soft under her touch, and she observed as it turned a rosy shade of pink. “I am so lucky you’re my soulmate. I got so fucking lucky.”

Edmund pressed a fleeting kiss to the tip of her nose. “I’m the lucky one, Y/N.”

Y/N loved to see this side of Edmund; she was the only one who got to see it. He was usually rather ridged and introverted, a generally inward type of guy. So much so that at the beginning of their relationship, they discussed how PDA wasn’t really his thing. Outside of quick kisses or holding hands, the thought of being all over each other in public made him uncomfortable. Y/N respected his wishes, it wasn’t really her thing either. When they were alone, however, Edmund couldn’t keep his hands off of his love.

He loved to study with her in the room. Knowing that his girl was close by gave him a sense of comfort when he was focused. And since they both had very hard majors, Y/N would most likely bring her own work. They never got very far into their work, though; favoring talking, kissing, cuddling, or sex to book work.

“You never answered my question, Pevensie.” Y/N placed a quick kiss on his lips and sat up. She held her weight up with her arm while her legs folded to the side.

“And what question is that?” Edmund’s eyes held a dazed look as he stared up at Y/N with his happy-Ed-smile and rolled onto his back.

“It’s been a year and I haven’t met your siblings! You met mine! Hell, you’ve stayed at my parent’s house for New Year’s. Are you ashamed of me or something?” Y/N’s words sent an alarmed jolt through Edmund’s entire body.

“Of course I’m not ashamed of you, my love! I just know how they tease me when you’re not around, so I know it’ll be a hundred times worse when they actually meet you.” He took a breath as Y/N giggled happily. His absolute favorite sound in the world was her giggle. “So it’s definitely not you.”

“What, you don’t want them to tell me embarrassing stories about you?”

“I’d like to avoid that, yes.” Ed leans back on his elbows.

“You have homework to do, Mister.”

“I’d much rather do this than finish an 18 plage thesis,” His voice was cheeky.

“Do wha-” Y/N was cut off by Edmund pulling her onto him. She situated her body so she was straddling his hips comfortably. “You’d rather have me straddle you than do your homework?”

His hands pushed the fabric of her shirt up so a sliver of skin showed. He ran his fingertips along it, watching goosebumps rise on her sides.

“Have a hot girl on top of me or write a thesis? Hmm...difficult choice.” His eyes stayed glued to her stomach. Y/N couldn’t help but enjoy the view herself; his hair against the pillow, the slight scrunch of his eyebrows, his lips parted slightly...

“Perv!” She responded, swatting his hand from her stomach scar.

They had a multitude of conversations about that scar during the past year; their scars seemed to be an easy talking point whenever they ran out of things to say. Like just last week, they had an hour-long discussion about a scar the cut through the pair’s eyebrow. Edmund was always very patient when explaining how the marks came to be, even if the memories weren’t always the most pleasant to relive.

He shifted so his back rested against the headboard and his face was just barely lower than hers. Edmund tilted his head up to look into her eyes. “I’m a perv for wanting to spend time with my girl?”

“I have to be on your lap to spend time with you?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No, not necessarily.”

Edmund laughs under his breath before attaching his lips to Y/N’s. They always say kissing your soulmate is like a drug, that the taste of their lips and the feeling of them pressed against you was addictive. Y/N never really understood until she was able to kiss her soulmate whenever she pleased. Even small things, such as the smell of his neck or the concentrated look on his face while he was working, made her fall even harder for the boy.

Her best friend had been surprised when she met Edmund. Apparently, he was nothing like what she expected Y/N’s soulmate to be like. She expected him to be loud and extroverted, someone who would balance Y/N’s reserved nature. But when she met Edmund, he was quiet, polite and just a hint sarcastic. She later revealed that she thought Y/N and Edmund would be one of the few soulmate matches that wouldn’t work out. Y/N was no longer friends with this person.

The very happy couple’s makeout session was cut short by a knock on the front door. Edmund pulled back and kissed her cheek. “It’s probably the neighbor asking for eggs again, I’ll be right back. Wait here.” He helped guide her off his hips and slid off the bed.

Neither Y/N nor Edmund were exactly dressed to impress; they had agreed to catch up on their work and hang out before the term ended and they went on break. Edmund wore an old Rolling Stones t-shirt he stole from Peter when he was a teenager and a pair of gray sweatpants that laid a bit too low on his hips. Y/N wore a similar attire, including one of Edmund’s shirts, a pair of running shorts, reading glasses, and a messy bun.

“Edmund!” Lucy’s voice filled Edmund’s ears as he opened the door. In the hallway stood all four of his siblings with big smiles filling their faces.

“Lucy, Susan, Peter! Uh, what are you guys doing here?”

“We wanted to see your new place!” Susan follows Lucy as she pushes past Edmund and into the apartment. Peter is quick to follow, shutting the door behind him.

“Is that my shirt?” He asks. Edmund tweaks the corner of his mouth awkwardly and trails the girls into his home.

“It’s so much roomier than you said on the phone,” Susan exclaims, walking into the living room. Edmund doesn’t say anything and follows his siblings around awkwardly.

“Is this your room?” Lucy opens the door and notices Y/N sitting on the bed. She had resumed the work on her laptop and was sitting where Ed had once been, against the headboard.

“Oh, hello, I didn’t know Ed had company,” She said, taking in Y/N’s appearance. Her eyes gloss over her form and land on the scar on her eyebrow. “Oh my gosh, you’re Y/N aren’t you?!”

Y/N, who was taken aback by the sudden acknowledgment, just nodded. Lucy began to swarm her with questions and saying how nice it was to meet her. Y/N, on the other hand, looked like a deer caught in the headlights until Edmund came into the room.

“Lu!” He scolded, sending an apologetic smile towards Y/N. “You can’t just jump her!” He extends a hand towards Y/N and pulls her to her feet. Once she’s standing, the hand makes its way around her waist. By this time, Susan and Peter made their way into the room to see what the all commotion was about.

“Y/N, this is Susan. Lucy and Peter. Guys, this is my soulmate, Y/N.”

“Hullo,” Y/N said shyly. “Sorry I look like shit, wasn’t really expect to see anyone but Ed today.”

“Oh stop, you look gorgeous as always,” Edmund replied without thinking. Y/N’s face turned a bright red color. The rest of the Pevensies awed.

“Wow, I never thought I’d live to see the day where Ed is actually nice,” Peter comments, crossing his arms and leaning back on his heels.

Y/N felt small under the stares of the Pevensie siblings and judging my Edmund’s body language, he was as well.

“Well, we better be off...We just came in to say hi.” Peter could sense the awkwardness in the room.

“We just got here!” Lucy frowned. She looked about 19, but it was evident she was the most friendly and excited of the group. Susan seemed to be more like Edmund, while Peter fell somewhere in between Susan and Edmund.

“Peter’s right, Lou. It looks like Y/N and Ed have someone homework to do.” She gestured at the laptops and textbooks. “Y/N, Lucy and I are having a girls day later this week, you should come. We’d love to get to know you a bit better.”

“Yeah, sure, okay,” Y/N felt Edmund’s grip on her hip loosen. “I’d love to, thanks for inviting me.”

After they left, both lovers let go of a breath they didn’t know they were holding.

“Oh no, they hate me!” Y/N grew sad. That was nothing like what she imagined meeting his family would be like.

“Nah, they love you already. It was just awkward because they caught us off guard.” Edmund sat on his computer chair and pulled Y/N so she was sat horizontally on his lap.

“I look a mess, I acted a mess! This is awful!”

“Baby, you did great.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “They love you, and I love you. It’s okay. You’ll remeet them soon, and it’ll go smoother. I promise.”

“Why were they here in the first place?”

“To see the apartment, I guess. They like to drop in sometimes.”

Y/N kissed his lips and got off of his lap. “Well, they were quite nice. Lucy is very friendly.”

Edmund chuckled under his breath, “Sorry about her. She gets like that when she’s excited. She’s been dying to meet you.”

“She has?”

“Of course, she asks every time I talk to her. And hey, I guess this answered your question from earlier!”

“Wow, I hope lived up to her expectations.” Y/N responded, picking up her laptop and closing it.

“You worry too much, darling.”

“I suppose I do.” Y/N placed the laptop on Edmund’s desk.

He sighed and turned to his own computer. “I guess I have to write this thesis now.”

“Nerd,”

“Hey! I’m not a nerd! You’re a nerd!”

“Well, this nerd loves you, nerd!” Y/N resumed her place on the bed without a care in the world.

“I love you too, nerd! Now do your work, I’m not the only one who has to study!” A small second of silence fell over the room.

“Make me.”

Edmund paused and slowly turned around in his chair. His eyes had a mischievous glint to them and his mouth was formed a smirk. “Oh, don’t mind if I do.”

#edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie fanfic #edmund pevensie fanfiction #king edmund the just #soulmate au #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #the chronicles of narnia fanfic #the chronicles of narnia fanfiction #c.s. lewis #c. s. lewis #edmund #narnia fanfic

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

Text

A Letter from Norman reactions

Tonight I was feeling like reorganizing the notes I took after reading the novel for the first time. Just some random personal reactions I had after reading it; if anything catches your attention and you'd like to know more about a particular event from the novel, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to help!!!

Under the cut because it's l o n g. That is, if Tumblr allows me to add a "read more", which has never happened before, but I'll keep hoping in it.

• Disclaimer: I'm suing anyone who ever said that the novel is all about NorEmma. I've literally put off reading it because I didn't want to get into something overly romantic while there's??? Nearly nothing about it that is romantic??????? Just a slight mention in that last chapter and that's it???????? Why are y'all like this

Prologue

• I need you all to know that the important letter™ through which Norman informed Emma about his plan starts with him describing the weather. I just think it's a relevant information.

• Ok I'm at freaking page 1 of “A letter from Norman” and. NORMAN IT'S A FREAKING LETTER TO EMMA NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE THIS POETIC

Maybe, I would get it if it was directed to Ray, but to Emma?????

Chapter 1

• Emma in 2038: Let's befriend ghosts

Emma in 2047: let's befriend demons

Seems like a logic consecution to me

• Ok but why has nobody ever mentioned the extremely precious Emma / Gilda moments in the novel???? My heart was completely melting that was the most adorable thing I've ever read??????

• The way Norman is constantly in awe of Ray is so adorable... Baby is so sweet I swear, he deserves the world

Chapter 2

• OK BUT THE SWEET EXCHANGE between Ray and Isabella before him and Emma go out at night?????? Ray is so pure is swear... He's a precious baby who didn't deserve all the shit he went through.

Reporting it in case anyone's curious; for context, Norman is sick, and Emma wants to go out look for a flower that she's read is going to help him feel better. Emma and Ray are convinced that Norman is going to die because babies are just that dramatic, and easily impressionable as well. They're seven here.

“ «Ray, I'm counting on you!»

Isabella pressed an hand on the boy's shoulder, who turned his face to her and diligently nodded, before continuing: «Differently from Emma, I don't think the flower is going to help Norman heal».

«What do you mean?»

«However, it's better than having to sit back and watch without doing anything. I too, like her, want him to heal as soon as possible.»

«Sure, I understand...» ”

NOW that hits so hard. You have to understand, this is after Ray had made the deal with Isabella. He had already started to plan the escape. In this occasion, he was on a very thin line: alone at night with Emma, outside the House, a child who knew the truth. Isabella knew those were the right conditions for him to attempt an escape, so she decided to test his loyalty; one misstep, and their deal - which was fundamental for the escape Ray was planning - would have ended.

But at the same time, Ray needed to go. Because, just like Emma, he just couldn't stand to lose Norman. And to see these three children caring so deeply about each other even at such a young age makes me honestly bawl. This is quite certainly my favorite thing from this series. And Ray deserves the world.

• Ray was so determined to save his two friends, he even considered for a moment, in the woods, to tell Emma the truth about the orphanage. I find it very nice how the novel hinted of all these times Ray almost revealed the truth, it really puts emphasis on how he was trying to find the best moment for the escape- but it also hints to how desperate he was to share this grievous burden he was forced to carry for the longest time.

• “ Ray, you must keep on living, Norman whispered to himself like a prayer. ”

I'm... I'M 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Doesn't help the fact that this bit was literally at the end of pages of Norman praising Ray and how brave he had been for so long.

• “ Nobody in the House would have wanted for Ray to pay with his life to amend the silence of all those years. ”

I love this bit. Nobody between the children ever hated Ray for speechlessly assisting to dozens of his siblings being lead to death, because they all immediately understood how much he was suffering, how powerless he must had felt, and also, even though it only led to him being even more hurt, how deeply he loved them all. It's really nice to realize that no children ever hated Ray- no one besides from himself. His siblings love him unconditionally, and that's precisely what he deserves 🤧🤧💕💕💕

• Norman: *adventures in a detailed description of Ray's features and gestures for no other apparent reason than the fact that he finds him pretty*

Chapter 3

• Ok I know people use to see Ray and Susan's interactions under the light of Ray having a crush on her but honestly? I think they make the cutest brotp. I never knew how much I needed Ray-having-an-older-sister content untill now.

• For real though!! What hits you really hard is to find out, even though he would had never ever showed it, how desperate he was to have somebody care about him, and to be loved. He literally grieves for losing someone that looks after him and is there to check on him in his lowest days- we know it's the thing Isabella never gave him. Man, this boy didn't deserve all the shit that happened to him. Tpn may have become an old known story for me, but Ray's sufferings in his early age will never stop tearing my heart apart.

• Ok, I wasn't ready for all this angst on Ray's part. I mean, I obviously know GF were hard times for him, but I didn't expect for him to take over the pov. Sis, how wrong I was. Now I'm crying.

• Coming to the realization that Ray's initial plan actually was to bring everyone in the escape, but he clearly had to give up on it after having realized it would have been impossible to save them 🥺🥺🥺

(I mean it was not impossible. He believed it was. But it wasn't.)

• Ok but. The last part of the Ner chapter. I really don't want to spoil it for anyone because it really was a beautiful chapter but I really need to say: Emma and Norman. The way it wasn't just Ray always being there for them, protecting them from afar; no matter their blissful ignorance, they have always been there for him too. They never abandoned that lonely boy, and they made it so that he could have a last reason not to give up. A single, dim light of hope in that pitch black, devastating world he was born in. I may or may not be crying my eyes out.

(Btw I had written this before the Ray special chapter came out, and it's kinda funny to look back at it now)

• The thing with the Ner chapter is: you enter in it after reading two chapters of normal, wholesome children's stories. There's a dark undertune in it, but it's very subtle and it doesn't interfere with the happy, cheerful atmosphere of these children facing adventures together with each other. But then the Ner chapter strikes, and the Ray pov arrives, and it's like being beaten with a bat in the stomach several times. Deep down, you had always known it; but you suddenly realize that all these children are going to die. And, even worse, there's one child who knows. There's one child who has to assist to everything powerlessly. There's one child, one freaking-nine-years-old who knows that all his siblings are going to die, and there's nothing he can do. That a single mistake could ruin the chances of making just two of his siblings survive, which is everything he's hanging to right now. One child who only needs to be loved. Well that... That hits hard.

Me expressing my thoughts: girl this form is shit you can't write something that is understandable to save your life can you

• Also can we please appreciate Norman taking so long to get out of the forest as it's a recurrent characterizzation of his character to be desperately willing to live just *French chef kiss*

• I really like how the novel underlined how Norman's choice of sacrificing himself corresponded to a betrayal toward his friends (when you think about it, Emma definitely felt betrayed). It's almost like in his last moments Norman chose to switch roles with Ray, taking on his shoulders the burden of being both the traitor and the sacrifice.

Chapter 4

• Norman: * “ He instinctively closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the sweet memory of that time he understood how deeply loved he was. ” *

Somewhere, Ray: Can't relate

• Emma: Norman, what you want to do when you grow up?

Norman: It's a secret.

Me:

• “ Ray woke up before everyone, as usual. ”

A remarkable detail. You'd think Ray, as a good depressed person as he is, would sleep more than the average. The truth is: he doesn't sleep at all.

• Norman: There's... Another person I like

Me:

• OK NOW WHY did none tell me about the nine (9) lines of Norman / Don interacting it was worth reading the novel solely for that.

• WHY DID NONE TELL ME ABOUT DON ALMOST STRANGLING NORMAN AND MAKING HIM LITERALLY PASS AWAY IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH READING THE NOVEL SOLELY FOR THAT

• Reading about Conny being there hurts a lot but reading about Sadie and Hao brings up a totally different kind of pain. Also who the hell is Cindy?

• Norman: Oh yes, Emma and Ray, my most dear friends, my closest siblings, the reason I wake up in the morning, my only reason to live, the ones I'd entrust my life with,

Also Norman: Dunnot in the last thirteen hours and six minutes they have been acting pretty sus, I'm kinda sure they're betraying me somehow ://

• “ «I agree, but it feels like you've fallen down a rabbit hole. You're restless, you constantly look off...» said the raven haired boy, distorting his mouth in an hardly intelligible grimace and giving his friend a meaningful look.

«Norman, about that mysterious girl...»

«No, you're mistaken! I...»

Norman, filled with frustration, raised up his voice, starting to lose the coolness that was usually characteristic of him.

«But I haven't said anything yet!»

That being said Ray, with slightly mocking doing, turned on his feet and went away, leaving Norman like that. ”

I LOVE THIS BIT SO INEXPLICABLY MUCH I'm always *so* in for Oreo finishing each other sentences / reading each other's thoughts. Here, Norman answered Ray's question before he could even expose it, because he already knew what it would have been. Equally, Ray knew what Norman was going to say even though he cut his answer halfway through.

I love how much on the same page they are, they really... Totally and fully understand each other even without words, and I find it so sweet. Seriously, their dynamic is so wholesome

• Norman's last birthday gift: the thing that matters the most to him: his family's happiness

Emma's reward: the thing that matters the most to her: her family's happiness

Some things hit harder than others.

• I don't know like. When you read the novel after the series has ended, everything hurts so much more, because you know these are all memories Emma has lost forever.

• So you made colorful clothing by "coloring old clothes"? Have fun realizing y'all have celebrated Norman's birthday wearing your dead siblings' clothes

Bonus this epic note I randomly took I completely forgot the context of:

• Isabella is a bitch. I don't give a fuck about your dramatic past woman, leave that boy alone

(When the protect Ray mood hits™)

#tpn #the promised neverland #a letter from norman #tpn norman #tpn emma #tpn ray #full score trio #oreo #tpn analysis #mine #I don't even like Stark I just used the gif for the sake of reactions #I should have used facepalming Ray™ instead #Let me know if you want my reactions for the second novel as well!!!#tpn novels

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Four: E-Stim

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Shane deals with the consequences of her email to her boss, both good and bad. A mortifying situation has an…unexpected outcome. Emotions run high in the fourth chapter of The Tx of Sy! Behind on the action? Catch up HERE!

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language, some angst and emotions. (Like I literally cried writing part of it) And like, an asshole boss…but if you stick it out with Susan, you won’t be disappointed.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

(you didn’t ask, but i took the liberty! Hope that’s okay!)

@tumblnewby @suavechops

Shane had spent her morning getting ready for work and treating her first patient with a whopping headache…maybe a small glass of wine would have been more responsible of her. But she slept like the dead, which was the goal.

She took a moment before her second patient to check her email…there was a reply from Susan.

Shane, come to my office at your next possible availability.

No "thank you" or "please" or "fuck you very much." just an order. Last she checked, SHE wasn't in the military. Since Heather wasn't in yet, she messaged the secretary on duty, Marsha, to see if she could find a way to make an opening in her morning. She wanted to get this meeting over with.

Sure, Shane. Looks like Cory could take your next patient, if you like. He's seen him before.

Perfect. Please make that change and block me for a meeting with Susan. Thank you so much.

She saw Cory walk by, and warned him. "Cory, I'm having Marsha move Mr. Greenbaum to you next hour. I need to meet with Susan about something." she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, shit. Okay. No problem." Cory knew all too well the fuckery that a Susan meeting could entail.

"I really appreciate it. I owe you big time."

"Nah, Mr. G is cool. We just talk about huntin' and stuff."

"He'll probably like that we switched, then." she laughed. And headed for what felt like the principal's office. Bleak and miserable.

She knocked on the door, and was told in an all too cheerful manner to come in.

"Hey!"

"Morning Susan."

"Close the door and have a seat, Shane."

She typed away for a moment before fully engaging…as was her way. She thought it gave her the power. It really just annoyed the fuck out of everyone.

"So, tell me what's going on with this patient you emailed me about."

"Well, he's an ACL and MCL tear, traumatic, plus a dislocated patella. He did it during a mission in Iraq. Ummm, he's improving a lot. Potter did the surgery. He had him keep the crutches about two weeks longer than we thought he would, but--"

"No I mean…this relationship. What's the deal, here?"

"Oh, there's not much to say about it, really. He's been fairly flirty from pretty early on. I've been able to ignore it, but to be honest, I think he's a really great guy, and I think he deserves better than me ignoring his advances, especially when, to be honest Susan, the feelings he has for me are not unrequited." her heart was racing. More than if Sy had been in the room flirting with her, but so much less pleasant.

"I don't think you should see this guy until the treatment is over. What if it doesn't work out and he doesn't want to come here anymore because of you." That hurt…not that it wasn't rattling around in her head, too.

"Well, Susan, to be honest, that's one reason I haven't spoken up about this already. I have that fear. But he's been very adamant about it lately, and it's been on my mind a lot, and I think I owe it to the both of us to see it through."

"I think I should call this guy. Let me pull him up."

She gave her his details to get his information pulled up in their system. God, this was embarrassing. She should have known this nightmare was coming.

"Hello?" a gravelly bark came across the speakerphone.

"Hello, Mr. Syverson?"

"Captain Syverson, yes, Ma'am." She wasn't expecting him to pull rank…and he did it so politely.

"Sorry, Captain Syverson. My name is Susan DeForrest, I'm the manager here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. How are you this morning?"

"This side of the daisies ain't worth complainin. What can I do ya for, ma'am?"

"Well, I have Miss Benton, your therapist here in a meeting. You're on speaker."

"Hey Sy." Shane mewled sheepishly.

"Hey there, Shane." she could hear the smile in his voice. She didn't know if Susan could.

"She's saying that the two of you would like to see each other socially, outside of therapy."

"Oh, that's not quite the words I'd use, ma'am, but I s'pose you're technically correct."

"And she's explained to you that this facility has a policy in place regarding such fraternization?" What a load of bullshit she was shoveling. Making it sound so sinister and clandestine what she and Sy were trying to start up. Like espionage. This woman…

"I'm aware that certain policies exist like that to protect patients or customers, and more frequently the staff from situations that could present problems for both or either parties. I am not aware that a strict policy exists to police your staff in such a stringent manner. In fact, I know the opposite to be true."

"Excuse me?" Susan asked, shell shocked.

"See, them policies o' yours, they're all available online. Public knowledge. Even your personnel ones. Now, y'all have a nice and thorough handbook, I mean, I have been up all night just pouring over this like honey on toast, and I can tell you, I ain't findin' a word about y'all not being allowed to date your patients."

"Well, it's in policy number…"

"Nope, you were gonna say 47, subsection 2, part b. But that just says that you shouldn't treat anyone you're close to (i.e. friend, relative, or significant other) if you can't maintain objectivity or your own comfortability. Now, if I'd make Shane uncomfortable, or if she lost her objectivity over me, I'd be devastated. Shane, do I or do you think I could make you uncomfortable or unobjective?" he was laying it on so thick. If she hadn't been falling for him, this would have done it.

"I don't think so, Sy." She held back a smile…but not well.

"There ya have it. Miss DeForrest, I trust that Shane is free to live her life in the way she sees fit?"

"Well, I still think she should wait…" Susan started, but was cut off again by Sy.

"Because you see, I've seen a lot of young people fail to grow old. A lot of people waitin' to do things…they never ended up doin'. This life…it can be real, real short, Miss DeForrest. And I'm not keen on waitin' to be happy when I could be happy right now. Have I made myself clear enough for you? Or do I need to go to the next link in the chain of command here?" The emotion and resolve in his voice was completely shattering. He wasn't crying. But Shane and Susan both were. And then suddenly, Susan sniffed herself into composure and answered him with dignity.

"No, Captain Syverson. That will not be necessary. Shane…is free, of course, to socialize with whomever she sees fit so long as it doesn't affect anyone's treatment adversely. Thank you for your time, candor, and perspective, sir."

"I'm glad to help Shane. She's helped me more than any therapist I've ever had. We clicked immediately. I knew she was somethin' special. But getting to know her over the last few weeks has shown me what true happiness could feel like…I'd forgotten that over in Iraq. She gave that back to me. I'd like to thank her properly."

"I think she'd like that too. Thank you, sir." Susan hung up the phone without letting them say goodbye to each other, but Shane was an utter mess, and unable to form coherent words right now, anyway.

"Wow." Susan exclaimed.

"Yeah." Shane sniffed into a tissue, dabbing her eyes and then blowing her nose loudly, and unapologetically.

"Did he say he spent the whole night reading our policies?" Susan asked, not sure she heard him right.

"That's what I understood." Shane was somehow not surprised.

"Did you tell him to do that?"

"I didn't even know the policies were online, nor did I know you'd pull him in to our meeting…I didn't even know we were having one until twenty minutes ago."

"Right…fair. Sorry, I'm still…off-put by all of that." She had been beaten…and it wasn't familiar or comfortable.

"So, are we finished here?" Shane inquired, tentative about the state of mind her boss was in.

"Yes, go on and take the rest of the hour for continuing ed or whatever." She was normally much more composed…Sy had really gotten to her. She loved it.

Shane hurried back to her treatment room. She had to call him.

"Hello?" that same gravelly voice now confused as he'd just hung up with her, basically.

"May I speak to the great hero Captain Syverson, please?"

"Sunshine. How ya doin'?"

"Did you really stay up all night last night to read our entire employee manual?"

"I wanted the straight up, true life details about this policy that could mess up my future."

"I think you broke my boss's brain. She was still stewing when I left. She thought I told you where to find all that and what not. I didn't even know you could find it online. Plus, I didn't know we'd be meeting or that she'd drag you into a personnel matter. She's the worst. And you're literally my hero for beating her down like you did."

"Hey, ya know, she started it. I just finished it."

"You sure did. And how!"

"So…since we're all legal now…"

"Is the magic gone since it's not forbidden?" she laughed.

"Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, I think this may be a mistake. Sorry."

They both giggled.

"I'm free after work on Friday." she suggested.

"Not anymore, you're not. Bring some nice clothes and change when you're done. I'll pick you up after. Just text me when you're about ready?"

"You haven't given me your number, Sy."

"It's in my chart, dork."

"You have to officially give it to me."

"Oh I'll give it to ya, baby." He'd dug deep into the bass part of his register for that one.

"Syyyyy." she groaned.

"Oh, you already know I like it when you say my name."

"I'm being serious right now, what's your damn number or the date is off." She bluffed.

"Not because I believe that idle threat, but because I wanna…give it to ya." he rattled off the number.

"Okay, I'll be texting you with mine. Now, I have work today, so if you text me and don't get an immediate response, you know that's why."

"I'm not your only patient? I'm hurt, Shane."

"I know, that's why you've been coming to therapy for weeks."

"Har-Har, good thing I'm not into you for your sense of humor."

"Good thing I'm not into you for your looks, since 80% of your face is obscured by hair."

"We could go all day like this."

"The stamina." she teased.

"Well, look who joined the game!" he sounded almost proud.

"Don't think I haven't been participating silently for…a while."

"How long?" he inquired

"Isn't that my line?" she laughed at the penis joke she'd just made.

"You'll find out soon enough, and you won't be laughing. How long?"

"Well, you remember your evaluation."

"I do."

"Yeah…then." she bleated, too shy to say so with pride.

"No way! You mean you've liked me all this time too! And haven't said shit!?"

"I had to be professional, Sy! I didn't want to! Damn! You've gotta know how much I didn't want to be professional."

"I'll forgive ya, I guess, lil' lady."

"Merciful of you, sir!" she chuckled. "I'll need to go here soon. Won't be long now until my next one gets here."

"Tease me with a 'sir' then cut me off. Cruel."

"You like 'sir,' huh?" she whispered.

"I do. Yes…I…do."

"Noted. Well, until tomorrow."

"Don't forget to text me. I want you to give it to me too." he chuckled.

"Oh, you're bad."

"But, I'm real, real good sunshine." The deep rich promise in his voice did not go unnoticed.

"Bye Sy."

"Later Shane."

She hung up and texted him immediately. A selfie. He replied in kind. He seemed to be home on his couch, Aika by his side…he was not wearing a shirt…well…this day would be eternal.

Up Next: Chapter Five- Sensory Integration 1

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc

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dirt-cup-draco · 4 years

Text

Edmund x Reader- You Get Me

A request from the amazing @nerdbirdsworld! Thanks for being patient with me! Hope you like it <3

The hustle and bustle of the men and women out in the street escaped you as you and Edmund sat on the steps of his cousin’s home. You were bundled in a jacket but the February air had you feeling quite chilled, despite the now nearly empty hot chocolate in your hand. Edmund and you had gone out earlier that morning on a whim, wanting something sweet. Lucy was inside reading and Eustace was complaining to his family about his cousin’s presence.

“How’s Susan? And Peter?” You asked, foot knocking against Edmund’s shoe as you turned to him. He snapped back to the present, always people watching, always getting stuck in his mind. It was like he was in another world.

Edmund’s slim shoulders rose and fell and he stood to throw his empty cup in a nearby bin. Returning to you, you stood as well and he opened the stubborn door, leading you upstairs. You followed quietly and he closed the door, letting a sigh loose as he slumped on the bed.

“They’re fine, like always. Doing better than Lucy and I,” He frowned, tugging at a loose thread on the comforter beneath him. You kicked off your shoes and sat beside him, hand ruffling at his hair. You half expected him to grimace and pull away but he simply stayed put and you carded your fingers through your hair. You two had come along way as friends. He had been emotionally closed off, as had you. It was hard to build something when you were both so protective of your hearts. Even friendship seemed liked to large of a vulnerability at the time.

You’d folded far before Edmund. Something about him had resonated with you and your walls had crumbled. He was still guarded, a worry behind his eyes, an unknown weight on his shoulders. Yet he mentioned in passing he often had night terrors and didn’t often get a fitful rest. It wasn’t much but it was still something. You knew he trusted you even if he still wasn’t prepared to talk. Growing up with the air raids and having to move around so often it was obvious that he was going to have some reservations, some internal struggles.

You didn’t blame him. You understood. You were patient with him and he was eternally grateful for it. You worried about him but had never pitied him. To Edmund you were his best friend. Lucy was as close as he had to a best friend before and then you had come into his life and he knew that you were different.

With a huff, Edmund was shifting, head falling into your lap, your skirt and warm thighs acting as a pillow for him to rest. He looked up at you and your heart pounded. His eyes were amber sap lit up by a sunrise. They nearly glowed up at you and the warmth in then made your stomach do flips. Your hand returned to his hair and you admired the softness.

You’re my best friend yet I feel something far more friendly for you. You wished you could say. Your words were stuck in your throat. Fear blocking the truth from bubbling up. You couldn’t ruin what you had. You feared Edmund couldn’t feel for you what you felt for him. He was always so closed off despite him trying. You felt like there was a whole other side to him that you didn’t get to experience. Watching interactions between him and Lucy left you stumped. Being siblings was a good reason for their closeness but they had a whole other dynamic that you couldn’t put your finger on. It was the same with Susan and Peter as well. They had this untouchable aura about them sometimes and it left you feeling small.

“You alright Y/N?” Edmund said gruffly after admiring you for a moment. Your eyes had gotten that far away look in them again and your eyebrows had wrinkled to the middle of your forehead. He lifted his hand and smoothed the lines away with a gentle touch. Against your better judgement you were grabbing his hand, leaning your cheek into his open palm with a content smile.

Edmund’s heart leaped violently yet he stroked your cheek with a calm that he didn’t feel internally. You looked like you wanted to say something but wouldn’t allow yourself to. He often found you stuck in between speaking your mind or opting out for something else. Sadly, you seemed to choose whatever other, safer option you had in your head. It was rare a moment when you decided to say the first thing to pop up in that beautiful mind of yours. Your facial expressions were always so clear, so easy to read, yet sometimes Edmund was left grasping to find the true meaning of your words and the look behind your eyes.

I want to be with you always and discover every thing about you, not just as friends. He wished he could say as he realized he was still tracing a path against your cheek with the pad of his thumb. A quiet had fallen over his room and it nearly sucked the air from his lungs. You were leaning into his hand, your face closer than it had been before. His head was still in your lap, your fingers in his hair. You had been his saving grace recently. He’d go mad in this damned house with his obnoxious cousin if it wasn’t for you. Edmund loved Lucy dearly but he needed your company like he needed oxygen.

“Fine, yeah,” You hummed softly, eyes now glued to his as you stared at each other. Eyes are the windows to the soul, you thought offhandedly as you peered into his irises. You wish you could truly see through them, you wished for some insight into Edmund’s complex mind. Your bottom lip was trapped between your teeth and Edmund removed his hand from your cheek to gently pull it free.

His eyes lingered on the red of your lips. They were plump from your worrying at them with your teeth and it made you terribly tempting. He looked back up to your eyes and his heart stuttered in his chest. Your clear eyes were baring your soul to him. You couldn’t hide anything from this moment. Your emotions were written on your face, begging him to read. Your thoughts were swimming behind your eyes and he was ready to dive in. The mix of adoration and worry left his own mind a mess. What about him had you looking so pensive?

A thousand words were passing between you two even as you sat in silence for god knows how long. That was what he liked so much about you. You could sit with him in silence and he felt content and complete. There was no need to speak. He’d been forced to mature beyond his years yet you also had a wisdom about you that was complimented by your own natural playfulness. You weren’t too serious but you could be serious if need be.

“What are you thinking?” You said, barely a whisper escaping your lips. You didn’t want to shatter the silence but you couldn’t help but ask.

Edmund wasn’t thinking. In this moment he was only feeling and your fingers were interlaced with his, laying warm over his stomach. He wasn’t thinking and so that’s why he found it so easy to let you know what he was thinking about. He was thinking about you and your smile and your nose and your importance in his life. He didn’t think he could imagine a life without you. You had become a part of him. Without hesitation he plunged you two into uncertainty.

“I was thinking about how you get me better than anyone else. I was thinking about how I only feel alright recently when we are together because I worry over my siblings and I hate being in this house. I was thinking about how you keep me sane and grounded. I was thinking about how I’m pretty sure I love you,”.

It took a second for his words to settle on your ears and another second for you to realize what they meant. In that time Edmund had realized the truth of his words and now he was steadily working himself into a panic. Not because he had told you, no, there was some comfort that had come from speaking his feelings for you out loud. It was the fact that he wasn’t yet sure how you felt that made his heart jump start in his chest. Was this what it felt like to have a stroke? Maybe it would be for the best if he did. Then you’d be worried about that and not the fact he had just confessed to you.

After three seconds of him sharing his thoughts your lips were spreading into a wide, radiant smile. Your hand was anxiously running through his hair and your fingers were squeezing his more intently. You laughed softly, almost in disbelief before you were leaning down, lips brushing over the tip of Edmund’s nose, leaving his cheeks hot and pink with the suddenness of your affection.

“I’m pretty sure I love you too,” You giggled and he couldn’t stop his own smile.

#edmund pevensie #edmund x reader #edmund pevensie x reader #narnia #request #ask #@nerdbirdsworld

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kingofno-whereville · 4 years

Note

You potray billy and Steve well, I was wondering if you could write about the whole party getting involved to try and get billy and Steve together because billy and Steve just don't belivie that other is gay/bi or whatever

I tried something new with this prompt but I hope you like it!! it got pretty long ahah

------

Max was glad Billy was feeling better. She wasn’t sure he’d live to see another day after the mall incident. But even though he was feeling better and being nice, he was closed off. She’d never seen him wear a sweatshirt before but now he practically lived in his grey sweatshirt with “San Diego” printed in bold across the front. He’d sit on the couch in the living room(he roamed the house a lot more freely since her mom kicked Neil out. Good riddance.) and watch tv or just...stare at the wall. Like he’d go to his own little reality on that couch.

She tried to pull him out of his slump. As happy as she was to see him doing better in terms of physical health, she couldn’t stand to see him the way he was. She was starting to miss his loud and proud personality. So she’d get him to drive her to the party’s meetings. Ms. Byers pretty much always hosted the little group in the house her and Hopper had bought(it warmed her heart to see how happy El looked to have such a big family.) It took almost a month of asking to get Billy to come inside. The party was expecting him since Max explained her plan to them. They were willing to give him another chance.

She could tell he felt out of place but before she even spoke to him, El was pulling him by the wrist to sit by her on the couch. Max didn’t quite understand the dynamic between her brother and El. El would visit him in the hospital and continued to visit when Billy came home. Sometimes she’d hear Billy reading to El in the living room. She was a little jealous because- yeah that’s her brother and she’d never admit it but she wanted attention from him. But she understood Billy needed his space. She’d wait.

The second time she got him to come, Steve was there. Everyone noticed them staring at the each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. The third time, about half way through the session she noticed Billy and Steve had disappeared. She excused herself for a moment to look for them. She checked the porch and saw the two of them sharing a cigarette on the porch and laughing quietly. She left them alone. Maybe Billy would benefit from having a friend his age. But then they kept disappearing to sit on the porch and talk. After a month of them disappearing every Saturday afternoon, she confronted Billy in the car.

“What’s up with you and Steve?”

She knew Billy was gay. Found out before they moved to Hawkins. She walked in on him and another guy getting a little closer than she wanted to see. Not that she’s against being gay. She just didn’t want to see her step-brother half naked, getting hot and heavy on his bed with anyone.

“We’re just friends.”

“But do you like him.” He was quiet, quieter than usual at least, his knuckles getting white on the wheel and then barely flushing red before turning white again.

“He’s not into guys.” She left it at that. With Billy at least. But she’d get to the bottom of this.

Tuesday was Steve’s day to drive some of the kids to school so Max stayed after everyone got out at school.

“What’re you doing Max? You gotta get to school.” Steve’s such a mother hen.

“What’s the deal with you and my brother?”

“Huh? Nothing.” Steve’s a lot easier to read than Billy. She barely said anything and his cheeks were already pink.

“Do you want to kiss him or something? You’re always sneaking off together.”

“I- no we’re just friends.”

“That’s the same thing he said. I almost think you rehearsed it.” Steve let out a laugh.

“We’re just close Max. Now go to school, okay?” She got out but leaned in the window.

“If you like Billy you can tell me.”

“Alright. I’ll keep that in mind now go to school.”

Steve was a dead give away. The pink cheeks, the hesitation in his answers. So either they were already together or they needed an extra push. She’d ask her brother again when he drove her home from school.

But Steve was in Billy’s car when he picked her up. She had to listen to them flirt the entire drive home. Billy stopped in the drive way but didn’t turn the car off.

“Max can you tell Susan I’m hanging out at Steve’s tonight?”

“Yeah? See you tomorrow Billy.” He waved to her when she got out before driving off. She ran to her room and grabbed her walkie talkie. “Guys! Guys are you there?”

“What’s up?” Lucas was first to answer.

“I think Steve and my brother are like...in love or something.”

“Ok?” Mike didn’t sound very interested in Max’s revelation.

“I think we should set them up.”

“I’m down. I can’t stand the way Steve’s been staring at him since they started hanging out. He’s all..lovestruck or whatever.” Dustin.

“I’m thinking if we all give them little pushes in the right direction they can do it on their own.” She’d thought this through since she started picking up on the way they looked at each other.

“What do you need us do?” Lucas is like a dog in some ways. He’s loyal and if you throw him something he’ll get it for you. Too bad he lies.

“I think we should start by making it clear to both of them that they both like men. We can bring it up before they go sit on the porch.”

“How? Do they even know that we know they like..guys?” It’s always nice to hear Will’s voice. He usually doesn’t talk much during after school. He likes to do his homework as soon as he got home.

“Steve kinda...told me he likes guys? Not dramatically he just mentioned it in a conversation.” It didn’t really surprise her that Dustin knew about Steve.

“Ok well then maybe if you ask Steve if he’s got a guy he’s rushing off to when he gets up to leave then that’ll set them up for an opportunity.”

“How do you know Billy will make a move?”

“Come on. It’s Billy. Of course he’ll make a move.”

Saturday came and sure enough, Max was the first to see Steve moving towards the door. She kicked Dustin under the table, Dustin looking up to see Steve leaving now too.

“Where are running off to Steve? Got some boy waiting on you?”

“What? No! I’m just going outside.” Max looked behind her to see Billy looking a little shaken in his seat. Good.

“Alright have fun!” Steve shook his head before going out, Billy going outside not long after.

But nothing seemed to change. The weekend passed and everything stayed the same. But Steve was in Billy’s car Monday morning on the drive to school.

“Where are you two off to today?”

“We’re going to hang out why do you care?”

“None of your business.” The rest of the car ride was quiet but she kept an eye on the two of them. Even if they weren’t together, they definitely had feelings for each other. They would look at each other and then look away sometimes. At some point she saw them reach for the radio and bump hands, the two of them laughing quietly. She could see how red Steve’s ears were and could only imagine what the rest of his face looked like. She didn’t understand love much. She didn’t even think she’d ever loved someone like that. Not even Lucas in the time they were together. Not to say she never wanted to love someone. She wanted someone to look at her the way Steve looked at Billy, even after everything Billy had done. She was pretty sure Steve had brought Billy back out of the shell he’d been hiding in for months after the incident. Maybe they didn’t know it yet but they were meant for each other.

The party was waiting for her outside of the school.

“Hey guys.”

“Well? Did it work?” Dustin was always business.

“No. I don’t think it did.” Sure they were all lovey or whatever but she just had a strong feeling that they needed another push. “I think we need to set them up on a date. Clearly they can’t do it themselves.”

“We could drag them to the movies on Friday after school?”

“That’s actually a great idea. Thanks Will! Some of us can ride with Billy and Dustin you can get Steve to drive the rest of you.”

“Alright.”

She asked Billy on the way home if he could drive her, El, and Lucas to the movies on Friday. Of course he said yes. Dustin gave an all clear on Steve driving the rest of them to the movies over their walkie talkies. Friday came. Max got Billy to come inside with them, said the movie was supposed to be really good. It helped that it was scary. He got them a big bowl of popcorn to share and sodas. Steve, Dustin, Mike, and Will walked in while they were getting their sodas.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Max!” Will waved to her from the door. They all met up in front of the the theater but Billy and Steve stayed behind.

Steve had been there for Billy during a really tough time after the incident. He made him feel like himself again. Maybe that’s why he stopped him outside the theater. He did love him. After everything, how could he not love him?

“Do you want to sit with me during the movie? Away from the kids?”

“If I was smart I’d think you were asking me out Billy.”

“I am.”

“Alright. I’m saying yes then.” Steve’s smile always made his heart skip a beat. There’d been so many times where he’d smile and Billy’s thought about kissing him. He’s kind of glad he waited though.

Max spent the entire movie trying not to look behind her. She knew that Billy and Steve had picked a seat in the way back of the empty theater but she wanted to let them be. Near the end of the movie she couldn’t help herself though and she was glad because she just barely caught them kissing and laughing quietly about god even knows what. She’s glad they had each other.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #max mayfield #stranger things #will being soft #max is very smart #i had to rush the end because it's 1am and I feel like i dragged this on for a while #it took way too long to respond to this request

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addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

Emotions (pt. 3)

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy helps y/n make a list of what she needs to do and learn in her life.

Word Count: 2305

Chapter 1 • Series Masterlist • Chapter 4

"So what are we gonna do next?"

"I don't know. There's a lot of things that I've never done." You said. You both decided that he would come over tomorrow. After the call ended you buried your face in a pillow from excitement. Your face was hot and you couldn't stop smiling. You don't fully understand this feeling; it's one that you've never had before, but you love it.

The next day you heard a knock on the door and practically flew to it. You opened it with a big smile on your face, but your smile quickly faded as you saw a bruise on Billy's jawline. You reached for it, Billy looking down and watching you. "Billy, are you okay?"

He put his hand over yours as you gently grazed the purple patch of skin. "Course doll. Can I come in?"

You sadly smiled and nodded, although not too convinced that Billy was okay. He came in and looked around. It was small and old, but also cozy and had a home feeling to it. You both passed El's room, seeing her make out with some kid. You looked at Billy mischievously before kicking the door, causing the kid to shoot up and hit his shin on the bed. "Not cool five!"

You snickered as Billy tried his best to contain his laughter. That kid's face was just too priceless. You both get to your room and leave the door a crack open. You then get out a piece of paper and a pen, writing down all that Billy insists you have to experience. You were both laughing together when Hopper opened the door. "Hey. Just uh, checking in. Making sure everything's okay." He said, then muttering, "Y'know, keeping it PG and all."

Mike then passed by Hopper, stopping right behind him. You saw the time, and knew Mike would have Hopper take him home right about now. "I don't know Hopper, I think you might have to be careful. Billy Hargrove is the town's bad boy."

You stared at Mike, wide eyed. You then looked at Hopper and smiled. "That's strange, because his tongue has been in his mouth the whole time he's been here, but I can't say the same for Mike. Isn't that just the strangest thing?"

Billy bit his lip to hide his smile, although failing miserably. Mike had his mouth hanging open as Hopper gripped him by his shirt and dragged him out the door. "Y'know, for a sweet little thing like yourself, you got a wicked mouth on you doll."

You looked at him, uneasy. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Hell no. It's badass." You beamed and giggled, scooted closer to him. "Alright, now we gotta do all the things on this list."

You both agreed on what to do that day, leaving a note and grabbing the things you needed. You said goodbye to El and went to the car. Before Billy could start the car, you put a hand over his. "Um, I try to be honest with you about my life." You two stared at each other for a moment, before you gently ran your hand over the bruise on his jaw. "Friends don't lie."

He stared into your eyes, and though he didn't know why, he felt safe to talk to you about this. Friends don't lie. Billy couldn't recall if he actually had a real friend then. "Just a small fight with my old man, that's all." He muttered. "Saw Damien on my bed and called me a fag. He tried to throw it away and I wouldn't let him."

You took your hand away and stared at him with sad eyes. "This is my fault." You stated.

"Sweetheart no." He grabbed your hand, kissing your palm and settling it on his cheek. "I chose to fight him. That's on me. From now on I'm gonna hide him in my room. Right now I just wanna have a nice day with my favorite girl, okay?"

You gave him a small smile at the compliment and nodded. As Billy drove you quietly said, "Hey Billy," He nodded his head to show he was listening. "I think you're my favorite guy."

He flashed you a big charming smile. "Think, huh?" You giggled.

You looked down at yourself, uncomfortable. You weren't used to showing this much skin, and you certainly weren't used to wearing something without anything under. You stepped out of the Hawkins pool locker room and timidly walked towards Billy. "Maybe we shouldn't do this. I feel people staring at me."

Billy turned around after getting two towels to look at you, and he wasn't prepared for what he saw. You had your hair up in a high pony tail, letting him be able to see your face clearly. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes sparkled in the sun. You were hugging your body, in a one piece that was snug in all the right places.

"Well would you look at that?" He leaned against the counter, smirking as he looked you over again. "Aren't you just the prettiest thing? People are staring because of how great you look. Lucky me, I got to you before anyone else could snag you."

You bashfully looked down and smiled. Billy took your hand and led you to a pool chair where he sat you down and applied sunblock on you. As he did this, he listened to you babble on about how you almost went to a pool with El's friends before but then canceled because something happened with El that led to a lot of bad stuff that you didn't elaborate on.

"So you don't know how to swim then?" Billy asked. You shook your head. "All done. C'mon, you're gonna learn today."

You both went into the water, and Billy had you hook your arms around his neck while he swam to the deep end. At first you were nervous and didn't want to let go, but Billy insisted that it was okay and that he had you.

You got the hang of it fairly quickly, and the two of you were enjoying yourselves at the pool. A group of moms were glaring at you, and you caught bits and pieces of what they were saying.

Billy...girl...freak...ugly...body...

You could hear their snickering. You suddenly felt weird about your yourself. It was a new feeling, and it made you want to hide yourself from everyone. You suddenly felt a pair of hands under water bring you to Billy's muscular chest. "Don't pay attention to them." He murmured. "They ain't got nothing better to do."

You hung out at the pool for about another hour before you both went back to your home. He then told you that there was a party tonight, which was also on your list. Later on as you got ready, Billy called you with a gruffy sounding voice. You heard yelling in the background. He asked to come over, and you said yes.

About ten minutes later you heard a knock at the door and opened it. Billy had a leather jacket on and a dark red button down shirt with a few buttons undone. He looked down at your outfit, with your red skirt and cropped white long sleeved shirt. It looked perfect and adorable on you. "Billy!" You hugged him. "Are you okay?"

He looked down at you and smiled. "Yeah, just my old man again. Don't worry about it."

You frowned. "That won't stop me from worrying. But come in, I made food for Hopper and El." As he stepped inside your house, he couldn't help but feel warmer. This house had warmth in it, the type of warmth that Billy's house could never have. Billy was pulled out of his thoughts as you gently grabbed his arm, coming closer to him. "Um, I think you should know that we're a bit strange. And El is a little shy."

He nodded, completely understanding. You didn't want him to be offended if your little sister was not as instantly warm as you. You called out that dinner was ready and served yourself. The other two came out of their rooms to serve themselves, all while staring at Billy. "You can serve yourself too." You smiled as you handed him an empty plate. You made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and red rice.

Hopper took out another small table and pushed it with the one that was already there, pulling up a chair as well. You and Billy sat on one side while Hopper and El sat on the other. When they weren't looking, Billy buttoned up his shirt some more. "It's nice to meet you both." Billy said politely, knowing how to act in front of others. He's had practice.

"Yeah, you too." Hopper forced out.

The conversation was not going anywhere, so you stepped in. "El, Billy's from California." Eleven had a map of the country in her room, secretly wishing she could go travel somewhere other than Hawkins.

She looked up, interested. "Ocean?"

Billy nodded. "Lots of ocean."

"Pretty?"

Billy flashed a grin. "Real pretty, sunshine." Eleven smiled.

You stared at your plate and smiled. El liked him. Hopper couldn't help but feel less tense at the way Billy was making an effort to make them like him. He began to tell El about the times he's gone to the beach with his old friends.

Everybody at the table enjoyed what Billy was saying. The one who enjoyed this the most was Billy. He's never had this. He's never had a nice dinner, where everyone talks to each other comfortably. It's always quiet, with Susan going on and on about her day. He felt wanted here. And the food was actually fucking good.

After everyone was finished you began to wash the dishes. As you did, Hopper took Billy aside. "So, um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm trusting you with my daughter, and that's kind of a big deal."

Billy felt a twinge of pride. "Thank you sir."

"Just, uh, be back by 10, and," Hopper scratched the back of his head, worried about entrusting his daughter's safety to someone else. "Keep her safe."

Billy nodded. "I will sir."

You slipped on your shoes and told Billy that you were ready to go. As the two of you walked outside and to his car, Hopper and El came out. "Bye Billy." El said, waving with a small smile.

"Bye sunshine." Her smile grew a bit wider.

When you got to the house Billy took your hand and led you inside. He then got the two of you drinks. You took a swig, wincing. "This tastes horrible."

Billy nodded, chuckling. "It's for the effect, not the taste. I'll get you something a little less grown up." You understood the joking mannerism in his voice, and gently pushed his shoulder with a smile before letting him go off again.

As you waited you felt a heavy hand on your shoulder. You turned around and saw an unfamiliar drunk face. "Hey, what are you doing by yourself?" He slurred.

"Um, waiting for Billy to come back." You said wearily. You considered using your powers to knock him out. You knew you shouldn't use it in a public place, but you had a bad feeling about him.

"Billy Hargrove?" He took a step forward, to which you took a step back. "What are you doing with him?"

"He's good company." You said in a monotone voice. He kept on walking towards you.

"I bet I can be better company sweetheart."

You backed up into a hard chest. You turned around to see Billy, drinks in hands and staring straight at the drunk teenager. "You don't get to call her that."

"Billy-"

"Get behind me y/n." He didn't take his eyes off the guy, handing the drinks to you and stepping forward.

"You think you're the shit, huh California? You think you could just steal all the bitches, huh?"

Billy wiped his mouth, pointing at him. "What the hell did you just call her?"

You quickly set the drinks down on the counter and stepped in between the two. "Forget about it, please. It's my first party, remember?" You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Let's dance."

He glanced at the drunken teen before looking back at you. He stared at you for a moment before chuckling. "Whatever you want doll."

The two of you left the frustrated, drunk teenager and went to the living room, where he pressed your body to his, putting his hands to your hips as you rested your head on his chest.

"You should be more careful." He said after a moment of silence.

You lifted your head. "I know. But I'll have you, so I'm not worry." He happily looked down at you, making a mental note to kick the crap out of that guy another day.

After you danced you two talked to other people, Billy snatching you every time a guy got too friendly. Later you told him that you wanted to go, and so the two of you drove off, you telling him which way to go.

You parked in a field, where there was a pond on the other end. "Is this the part where something bad happens?" Billy joked.

You smiled and shook your head, looking out at the view. "When I escaped with El, we found this place, and just sat down to take in everything." You got out of the car and opened up his car door, grabbing his hand and leading him into the field, sitting down with him.

The two of you were sitting together, just talking about random things. He told you that he'd never had a trust worthy friend before, and you told him that you've never been around someone who was so focused on you. You both taught each other on this day that this was what having a true friend felt like.

---

Tag List:

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#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy stranger things #stranger things billy #billy hargove imagine #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things billy hargrove

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okaybutlikeimagine · 5 years

Note

What if when Hopper first adopted Billy he was mentally preparing himself for a mess of clothes tossed about, dishes left everywhere, general teenage chaos? Instead, it's the complete opposite. Billy's had responsibility literally beaten into him, so he takes over all the chores thinking if he doesn't Hopper will toss him out. He cleans, cooks, drives El (and Max still) everywhere, etc while going to school and working part-time. How would Hopper react when he realizes why Billy does it all?

Oh I so agree with this, 100% feel like he was!! Like… I don’t think anyone expects Billy to be as super considerate and clean as he is. Bc he really is! He lived his whole life w/ a man who very obviously carried his military service through his life into his adulthood in a very dangerous away and so I believe Billy was scared as all hell to ever let himself slip. He keeps everything he can immaculate bc if anything isn’t Just Right, he’s the one getting punished every time.

When he was younger, Neil would put him through random, weekly checks of his room to make sure everything was clean and orderly. (when he got “old enough to be called a man”, Neil stopped with those, but still yelled at Billy for anything disorderly in his room.) When Max was really young and would accidentally break things, Billy would absolutely always take the fall. Even if Max admitted to it being her fault, Billy would be hit for not watching her close enough/for letting her reach for that glass herself/for giving her those permanent markers/etc.

So I think Billy feels responsible not only for his things but for everything. This is his house now too, after all; his space, and he’s gotta make sure it’s perfect.

And Billy moves in with very few things. Billy just doesn’t have a lot of stuff in general. I dunno if we’ve all seen the pictures, but some people on here have analyzed the little makeshift nightstand + mirror thing that Billy has. Like, he piled a bunch of things on top of each other to make his little vanity. I’ve talked before about how I don’t believe Billy was ever the type of kid to share things bc he just doesn’t HAVE a lot. He doesn’t own a lot of things and he KNOWS the cabin is small so he doesn’t bring a lot of the things he does have with him either. He gives his stereo to Max. He leaves all the furniture and his mirror. He only brings his clothes in a duffel, a couple of trinkets he holds dear to his heart, and his hair stuff.

And it’s definitely not what Hop was expecting at ALL. he was expecting absolute chaos. Like you said, clothes strewn around the place, etc, so before Billy moves in, Hop goes out and picks up a dresser he finds at a yard sale. It’s not much, but it’s something for Billy to keep his things in and on. And he’s fully prepared to have to give him a real hard lecture about keeping his shit where it belongs, which is inside the dresser or hamper and nowhere else, but he doesn’t even need to. Hop gestures to the dresser and Billy thanks him quietly before immediately folding up all of his things neatly and placing them where they belong. He doesn’t have enough clothes to even fill the dresser. Hop has to tear himself away from watching bc Billy can feel Hop’s presence and looks over his shoulder every now and then as Hop stares.

It’s just that… this isn’t what he was expecting. This isn’t the same kid he agreed to take in.

He also 100% takes over literally every single chore! Some he does out of feeling of necessity, like cooking. He didn’t cook all the time at home bc Neil felt that was a “woman’s job” but the thing is, Neil and Susan would leave Billy and Max at home all night or even all weekend sometimes and they’d leave so few leftovers that Billy had to learn how to cook to feed the both of them. (I also like to think about little Billy cooking dinner with his mom or grandma ♥ anyway)

So the boy has been cooking for years and when he sees that Hop feeds himself and El frozen dinners or freezer waffles or take out, he realizes he needs to be the one to cook. His biggest fear about it is Hop having the same mentality as his father, AKA “this is a woman’s job and you shouldn’t even know how to do it”.

But he doesn’t! Hop is honestly amazed at Billy’s knowledge of a kitchen, esp because he 100% does not share that same knowledge. And yeah, Billy tends to make very simple, very easy dinners, but they still taste a whole lot better and do a whole lot more than the frozen dinners that they’re eating every night. So Hop lets him cook and supports it very much. There’s no underhanded comment there. He tries to tell Billy how much he appreciates it, but he’s not sure if the boy hears him.

And Billy does more than just cook. Bc some chores he takes on bc they just seem necessary, and others he takes on bc he’s always had them. Bc he feels obligated. Bc he feels fear bubbling in his chest over it. Bc the more he did around his old house, the less anger would be directed at him. Doing chores kept him busy, kept Neil from getting angry, and kept everything calm. For the most part. It was like a saving grace.

He carries that feeling with him.

So he does the laundry. Everyone’s laundry. He’s always taking out the trash as soon as it gets full, and he’ll check it religiously, even if he doesn’t need to throw anything away. He picks up everyone’s dishes and washes and dries them. It takes him a few days to remember where they all go, but he gets it down quickly and Hop finds himself never washing dishes again. And it takes a few weeks to realize but suddenly, on his designated Chore Day (which is the second of every month, bc I’m sorry but Hop really can’t be fucked to do any kind of chore unless he’s designated a day, not even with El here now. He tried for about a month and it didn’t work.) Hop finds himself with nothing to do. Like absolutely nothing. The shelves are dusted, the floor is swept, the trash is empty, the cabinets are full bc the dishes were washed this morning and when Hop goes to question Billy with a:

“Seriously kid? Is there anything you didn’t do?”

Billy’s eyes flash with fear. It’s a bit longer than a flash, actually. He’s scared. Hop doesn’t like how often he sees that look when he addresses the boy.

Billy starts to pull at a curl on the nape of his head, elbow against his chest, closing himself off even if it’s a little bit. Hop has been working hard to pick up on all of the little nervous habits Billy has. This is one of them.

“I dunno… is there?” Billy asks like he’s serious. Like either of them are serious about Billy needing to do more.

But Billy is serious.

Bc Billy is fucking terrified. Every day he feels it in his chest: Today is the day Hop realizes what a mess he’s gotten himself into. Today is the day Hop recognizes the tornado that is Billy Hargrove and he’s gonna realize how fucking far from worth it he is to keep here.

So he worries. And he does absolutely everything he can think of to prove to Hop that he isn’t going to be a nuisance in the “living under the same roof now” department. That he isn’t going to be the “typical messy teenager”. It’s before he lashes out at the niceness because right now, nice isn’t what scares him most. Everything just feels… tenuous. Uncertain and downright frightening. Even a speck of dirt or food or whatever on the floor strikes something in Billy and Hop sees how tense the boy is about it but doesn’t comment.

Until now, bc now Hop is catching on. Now Hop’s getting a peek at what’s happening. And it’s kind of completely breaking his heart.

“No. I was just joking around.”

Billy blinks hard, looking away and moving his tongue around in his mouth in deep thought.

“Yeah… course.”

Hop eyes him carefully as Billy heads out of the house with the lame excuse of “seeing a friend.”

And Hop realizes pretty quickly that Billy isn’t in the house too often in those first few months. If he’s not at school, he’s at practice, if he’s not at practice, he’s with “friends”, if he’s not with “friends”, he’s driving the kids to the ends of the Earth or something bc he’s literally just never home.

It’s not until he’s on call somewhere that he sees Billy, across the street, lugging boxes around the local warehouse and sweating like a pig.

And he watches him work and struggle and sweat and groan. He watches this boy, very visibly tired, and it really starts clicking. Bc Billy is always stressed out, tired, dragging himself around. He’s always falling asleep on the couch or just sitting at the dinner table. (he also always freaks out when he gets woken up)

It’s just that… yeah of fucking course this kid has a part time job. Of fucking course this kid is working himself to the bone. Now that Hop thinks about it, he reminds him of Jonathan, who always looks like he got hit by a freight train right out of bed. It’s as he’s really thinking about that when a red flag pops up, because Jonathan has about 3 jobs and is stressed far too often for a young teen to be stressed and Hop never really understood the amount of concern Joyce had for him until now bc fuck watching this boy work like a dog is not fun.

So he brings it up when they’re both home. When they’re eating dinner and El is at Max’s and there’s a lull in the conversation bc Hop just can’t stop thinking about how tired Billy always is. How stressed he always seems. It worries him so much it gives him headaches.

“So… you’re working down at the warehouse?”

Billy nods absentmindedly. “Yup.”

“And going to school?”

Billy takes a big bite. “Yup. Pretty sure that’s why I still go every day.”

“Right. And you do everything around the house?”

“Do you have a point?” Billy asks over a mouthful of chicken.

“I- Look kid, you afraid of getting kicked out or something?” Hop asks, putting his fork down and staring at Billy with the question hanging between them.

Billy tenses. Sets his own fork down. Sets his eyebrows low too, showing off that hard disdain he’s always sporting.

“Why? What are you thinking about?” Billy asks, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed tight. Hop has seen the boy do this countless times before: he’s trying to look tough. But the thing is, it never works. It didn’t even work the first time he did this. He’s trying to look big but in reality he looks like a little kid who got told he can’t have dessert tonight. He glares but it’s always paired with a pout like a toddler.

Hop shakes his head. He feels like he can never win with the boy. He also feels like he says all of the wrong things in the wrong ways at the wrong times. He relies on Joyce for a lot of stuff. Probably too much stuff, but he’s been trying, alright?

“Cool it, I just… you do too much.”

“I what?” Billy asks like it’s some kind of insult. Hop can’t help the sigh he releases.

“You do too much. You don’t need to bleed yourself dry every day, alright? You’re doing too much.”

Billy’s mouth moves but no words come out. He looks semi-desperate to say anything, but he doesn’t. Can’t? Just furrows his brows and squints his eyes and shakes his head minutely and pouts. And Hop doesn’t know how to continue this, he just feels bad. Feels it heavy in his heart bc this boy has the deepest circles under his eyes and he feels kind of responsible for it. Really, seriously feels responsible bc he watches this boy work himself down every day and doesn’t say anything about it. It’s just that he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do about any of it. He let it happen bc there wasn’t a lot of alternative when he was always at a loss for words as to why a boy would even want to work so fucking hard all the time.

But he can’t let it slide anymore.

“You can keep your job, I’m not saying you have to quit or anything, I just… stop cleaning everything. And doing all the laundry. It’s…. Nice, sure, but it’s too much.”

“I just… what are you talking about?” Billy asks, irritation laced with confusion in the blue of his eyes.

“I’m saying I need you to stop doing all the chores around here.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re tired! I can see you’re tired.” Hop pauses for a second. “And it weirds me out! I mean, you’re a kid, don’t you ever just act like a kid?”

“I’m not a kid.”

“You’re still 17, you’re a kid.”

“Why are you mad at me for doing what I’m supposed to do?”

“I’m not mad!” Hop nearly yells, hands going to his hair to pull at it. It’s a lie. He is mad. He’s mad at himself for not being able to find the words this boy needs to convince him to just calm down with the “responsibility” shit. “I just don’t want you running around-”

“I’m being responsible-”

“It’s not your responsibility!” Hop’s eyes are hooded by thick eyebrows bc he’s far too confused by these words to have any other kind of expression. At first glance, this kid looks like a brat. A boy who complains about having to do more than he needs to. About having to move off the couch to take the trash out.

But that’s what knocks Hop into it. Into the realization that he’s completely wrong. Bc Billy’s hands have always been calloused, he works on his car himself, he knows how to do all of this stuff in a timely manner. He doesn’t walk around like he’s confused, he walks around like a machine as he dusts the shelves and wipes down the tables.

It’s never a sarcastic, smarmy little show of “I’m being a good house guest, can’t you see?”

No. it’s an act of: “i’m doing what I’m supposed to, don’t look at me.”

He always moves fast; always quick about it. His shoulders are always hunched over. Like he’s trying to stay hidden and now Hop knows. It starts clicking more and more and he’s livid at so many things right now he can’t even pinpoint them all and-

“No. It’s not your responsibility to take up every chore in the house. We can do it together and I know I kind of drop the ball on a lot of it but I’m gonna get better about cleaning but I can’t do that when you do everything and-”

Hop’s not even looking at Billy anymore. He’s looking at his mostly empty plate, rubbing at his forehead and his hair and trying to see through his squinted eyes bc this isn’t the conversation he ever thought he’d have to have but here he is and he looks up at Billy who-

Who is so confused. Whose eyebrows are closed in and whose lips are parted trying to form a question that isn’t coming out and Hopper sighs.

“Your place in this house is safe. I mean it.” Hop says seriously. Looks Billy in the eyes and doesn’t leave even a sliver of doubt. Doesn’t let Billy think for a second this is a joke or that it’s an empty promise. That he isn’t anything but absolutely serious.

Billy’s face falls from his confusion. His eyes are shifting everywhere, on the table, the floor, the wall next to them.

“Billy.” Hop starts, leaning forward a bit on his elbows on the table. “I’m serious. If you’re afraid of getting… I dunno, kicked out or something, you won’t.”

Billy blinks.

“Just…” Hop continues on a sigh. “Please stop doing everything. It makes me nervous.”

Billy nods slowly, eyes still confused. But he smiles a bit at the small smile Hop offers and it’s fine. Everything feels fine. Far better than fine.

And so Billy lets them help. El sweeps the floors and dusts the shelves. Hop wipes off the counters and learns to cook some more, as well as load the dishwasher correctly. Billy teaches him the “secrets” of doing laundry. (“They’re not secrets, old man, you’re just a caveman who doesn’t know how to keep towels soft.”)

And it’s a little alien for both of them (and everything is a new and exciting experience for El) but it’s far better than fine.

524 notes · View notes

flamehairedwritings · 4 years

Text

The Fire In Your Eyes: Chapter Seventeen

Characters: Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character

Rating: The whole series will be E, 18+ ONLY for violence, gore, character deaths, animal deaths, parent deaths, swearing, grief, sexual themes and unprotected sex.

Summary: Saved by Arthur Morgan when her town is attacked, a young woman’s past comes back to haunt her when she has no choice but to join the Van der Linde Gang.

Some scenes and dialogue have been taken from the game!

Read on AO3

The Fire In Your Eyes Masterlist

Please don’t copy, steal or re-post my work; credit does not count.

—

When Trouble Comes To Town, Men Like Me Come Around

“Hey, where the hell were you two?”

“Huntin’.” Arthur dropped the three turkeys they’d shot on the way back onto Pearson’s table.

Pearson grumbled something under his breath.

“What did you say?”

“I thought you’d gone.”

Arthur frowned as his hands went to his belt. “What?”

“After... what happened, I thought you’d both gone.”

His jaw moved slightly as he looked at him. “Well, we ain’t. We ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

Pearson nodded, and Ada thought he was going to say something else when his head bowed and he studied the state the turkeys were in. “So, uh, where did you get—”

“Oh, you’re a fuckin’ peach, ain’t you?”

“And you’re better than all of us, are you?!”

She turned with Arthur to watch Karen storming after Miss Grimshaw, coming up the path from the river. Both women looked thunderous.

“At least I didn’t fuckin’ shoot someone who didn’t even know what was goin’ on, you miserable bitch!” Karen yelled and Grimshaw turned sharply, halting and thrusting a finger at her.

“Listen here, you little ungrateful cunt, I did us all a favour!”

“You did yourself a favour, you’ve been wantin’ her gone since Dutch cast you aside and took her in!”

“They ain’t stopped since,” Pearson muttered behind them, and Arthur released a long breath.

Starting to move forward, he murmured, “I better—”

“No, Arthur,” Ada murmured, her hand settling on his arm making him stop.

It seemed Susan had had enough, though, her face red and twisted.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin about, you bitch.”

“Oh, ho, I don’t?” Karen’s hands went to her hips. “You get real fuckin’ sad when you drink, Susan, and you don’t fuckin’ shut up so I know what I’m talkin’ about.”

“You keep away from me!” Susan hissed, turning on her heel and striding towards the fire pit.

Karen scoffed, for once not looking delighted that she’d gotten the upper-hand. “Gladly.”

Turning, she, too, strode away, nearing Arthur and Ada. Lifting her head, she stopped abruptly as she caught sight of them, her gaze flicking between them. Her eyes settled on Ada and her lips pressed together. Then, she turned, heading in another direction.

Swallowing, Ada released Arthur’s arm as he turned to her, arching an eyebrow.

She gave a small smile as she lowered her voice. “It’s better if we just leave them to it, let them get it all out.”

He nodded, then his hand lifted and rubbed her arm as he sighed, his eyes scanning the rest of the camp. “Let’s find Sadie, see what’s been goin’ on.”

They found their friend down by the river, guarding the small path. Her features lit up at the sight of them, shouldering her rifle and striding towards them.

“Hey, I got a plan to get John, now,” she said before either of them could even open their mouths.

“You do?” Arthur didn’t sound particularly surprised.

She nodded, keeping her voice low. “Yeah, we can’t all go, though, it’ll be too suspicious. I’ve just had to talk Abigail out of comin’ with me, for Jack’s sake, and she’s mad as hell.”

“I’m comin’ with you,” Arthur answered instantly.

Ada pressed her lips together slightly but said nothing.

Sadie inclined her head at him. “All right. Now, we obviously ain’t tellin’ Dutch.”

Ada almost laughed. “Yeah, good idea.”

The older woman turned her gaze to her. “Can you stay here and just, make sure he doesn’t suspect anythin’? Say we’ve gone huntin’ or somethin’?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Maybe we’ll just have another explosive argument, that’ll keep him occupied.

“Thanks. We shouldn’t take long but, just incase.”

“Of course.” She raised her eyebrows, releasing a breath. “Look after each other, please.”

“We will, I promise.” Her friend’s features softened for a moment before she was patting Arthur’s arm and heading back up towards the camp. “C’mon, we ain’t got a lot of time.”

“All right, give me a minute.”

Ada’s gaze shifted from Sadie’s back to meet Arthur’s, a light smile pulling at her lips. He returned it as his hand went to her arm again, squeezing gently.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye. Be safe, please.”

“I will.” His smile lingered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then he was turning and following after Sadie.

Ada folded her arms as she watched him walk away, her heart twisting slightly. He was eager to get back out there, to be useful, to save his brother, she understood that, but she’d only just got him back, what if—

No, no, don’t think about that... He’s with Sadie, they’ll both be fine.

Occupied, she needed to keep herself occupied.

Blowing out a breath, she headed back up to the camp, reaching it just in time to see them riding away. No one looked up, unbothered. It was like she could feel the very life had gone out of the camp, and she knew it couldn’t all be down to Molly’s death, though that was still going to be raw.

She found her few things on Arthur’s bed, grateful that whoever had set it up had taken the initiative and grouped their things together.

It was a lovely, strange mile-stone, a quiet acceptance of what they were.

How long would that acceptance last, though? She glanced up, trying to find if anyone was watching her but, again, people were unbothered.

It’s in their minds, though.

Stop it.

She pulled a blanket down across the small space, the garment acting as a curtain so she could change in privacy. With Arthur having ripped most of the buttons off of her blouse, not that she’d complained too much, though she had complained as they’d dressed, earning a smirk from him, she’d had to just wear the flimsy corset and her jacket, buttoning it entirely and praying they wouldn’t be stopped on the way back. It was a crisp, almost cold day but she and Arthur had moved quickly, having no difficulty in hunting the turkeys and then cantering back.

She pulled on a light blue blouse, one that she’d bought from a group of travellers she and Sadie had encountered, the colour reminding her of a shirt Arthur had.

She’d worn it the day he’d returned, almost like she’d known. Then again, she wore it nearly every single day so she couldn’t really put it down to fate.

After buttoning it, she brushed the blanket aside and stepped out, tucking the blouse into her trousers. She left her gunbelt and jacket on the bed, not planning on leaving the camp due to her mission, and there were plenty of guns around if trouble came.

Her gaze drifted to Dutch’s tent as she straightened the sleeves. The opening of it moved gently with the breeze and she could just glimpse him in there, lying on the bed, napping, possibly.

That makes this a lot easier.

She was planning on just sitting on Arthur’s bed and keeping her eyes fixed on the tent when Jack’s faint giggle drew her attention away, making her heart twinge.

Abigail.

Rounding the wagon, she found mother and son a short distance away from the camp, Abigail sat up against her tree, hugging her legs as she watched her son draw in the mud with a stick. Ada glanced back over her shoulder to Dutch’s tent.

He won’t move, and if he does then, well, guess I could start up that argument.

Abigail raised her head at the sound of someone approaching, twigs snapping beneath boots. Ada smiled warmly as the woman’s alert gaze met her own.

“Hey, Abigail.”

She relaxed a little, letting out a breath. “Hey, Annie.”

Ada sat down next to her with a soft groan, wiping her hands against her thighs, watching Jack along with his mother. He was drawing random shapes and swirls, then occasionally stabbing the mud with the end of the stick and giggling at the sound it made as he pulled it back out. A smile pulled at her lips.

“I’m gonna have to wash all his clothes, again,” Abigail sighed, prompting a soft laugh from Ada.

“Can’t you just leave them? From how frequently and earnestly he gets them dirty, I think it’s a strong choice.”

His mother huffed out a sound, maybe a laugh. “Can’t have him being too much like his father.”

Ada turned her head to her, her smile fading a little. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly.

Abigail kept her gaze on Jack, gripping her legs. “Arthur’s gone with her, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

She released a breath. “Good.” She nodded a few times then. “That makes me feel a little better.”

“That’s good.”

They fell into silence as Ada watched Jack, too, the boy now trying to squish leaves into the mud.

“How are you doin’?”

Abigail’s quiet, gentle question made her blink as her gaze returned to her.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

She searched her features, finding genuine concern there, knowing there was more to it. So she took a chance.

“Abigail...” she began, lowering her voice even further, almost whispering. “... What Molly said, about me—”

Abigail took her hand, shaking her head. “It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it here, now.”

She swallowed lightly as Abigail squeezed her hand. “Okay.”

The other woman nodded then released her, hugging her legs again. Ada gazed at her for a few moments longer before looking back to Jack, playing with her ring. The small act of kindness was threatening to bring tears to her eyes. She couldn’t tell if Abigail believed it or not, but the very notion that she would listen, in time, bolstered her.

They sat in silence for a little while, both women thinking about the men they loved and not saying so for fear of upsetting the other. It wasn’t until the boy raced after a butterfly that Abigail sighed and pushed herself up with a groan.

“Come find me later,” she murmured before striding off after her son, her skirt billowing in the breeze.

Ada watched her go as she got to her feet, trying to ignore the twinge in her heart.

If anything happens, I’ll get them out.

Don’t think about that.

She made her way back to the centre of the camp, looking to anyone who might be watching, which they weren’t, as if she was just getting herself something to drink. She poured herself some fresh water from a wooden jug into a tin cup, taking a long drink, her eyes fixed on Dutch’s tent. He was still in there, still sleeping.

This was turning out to be a lot more boring than she’d expected. Swallowing the last of the water, she placed the cup down and wiped her mouth.

What to do, what to do, what to do...

...

Guess I could take a watch.

No one had taken over from Sadie so it left the small lane unguarded and, after the last couple of days, she could do with just one day of no bad surprises. Returning to Arthur’s tent, she pulled her jacket on and then secured her gunbelt around her waist before taking one last glance at Dutch’s tent and then heading around the wagon to the path.

It was quiet around here, almost eerily so sometimes, the only sound the rustling of the trees, some small animals, or the gentle rush of the river. Taking up Sadie’s position, she angled her back so it faced the camp and she could keep an eye on the other bank and the path that stretched ahead.

It took all of two minutes before her mind began to wander.

When they returned with John, and they would return, she’d insist to Arthur that they make a plan. She knew he wouldn’t just leave, not unless he knew everyone would be okay. The gang would have to be in a good position... or not a gang at all.

Increasingly, it was seeming like the latter was the way fate was taking them.

If only they could get some people to leave, others would then go, too... maybe if they got John, Abigail and Jack away—

She fell forward with a sharp gasp as something blunt collided against the back of her head, and the world went black.

—

“... stop it, I want that...”

“Nuh-uh, I gots my hands on it first!”

“That ain’t fair!”

“Shut up!”

Her head ached and her face felt wet. Slowly opening her eyes, she had to blink several times for her vision to focus. At first all she saw was leaves and trees, realising the wetness on her face was due to her cheek being pressed against mud.

“He said I could have what I wants!”

“He said we could have what we wants!”

Her gaze slid up to the two men sat nearby, one of them holding her jacket, the other her boots. Ah, that’s why she felt so cold.

Murfree Brood. They had to be. She’d never encountered them, but it was hard to not recognise them for who they were.

Something grabbed her foot suddenly and she gasped sharply, her head twisting to see what it was.

A third Murfree grinned at her, spit sliding out of the corners of his mouth. He laughed gleefully, gripping her ankle tightly. “Hey, lady, you got pretty toes, I’m gonna cuts off one little toe first, then all the other pink little toes, then I’m gonna wear ‘em as a pretty pink necklace.”

Oh, fuck...

“Hey, hey, she’s awake!” one of the other men said, the argument swiftly ending.

Gritting her teeth, her heart and head pounding, she tried to push herself up before realising her wrists had been tied together tightly. Too tightly. Her fingers were tingling from the lack of circulation.

“Pretty, pretty toes...” The Murfree holding her foot sang, his other hand searching in the pocket of his overalls.

The other two men stepped closer, leaning over her.

The one holding her jacket, patches of long, thin hair on his head, grinned, revealing missing teeth. “I’m gonna cut your hair, it’s so bright and pretty.”

Her gaze darted down as she suddenly felt the cold flat of a knife against her foot. The drooling man giggled, waving the knife. “I can’t wait to get me a pretty new necklace—”

He yelled in shock as her other leg lashed out and her heel struck him in the nose, sending him falling back. Grabbing at his face, he howled in pain, sobbing, and she tried to push herself up. The man with thin hair dropped the jacket and grabbed her shoulders, though, shaking her hard and making her already sore head spin.

“That ain’t nice!” he yelled, and she could hear the other man trying to console the crying one.

“Fuck off,” she hissed through her teeth, feeling queasy and cold.

“That ain’t nice either!” He shook her again and she closed her eyes tightly.

Then he dropped her and she grunted as her back collided with the ground.

“You okay, Den?”

The crying man whimpered in reply, blood seeping through the fingers he held against his face. The man who held her boots, his hair dark and balding, glared at her, baring his teeth.

The man above her huffed out a breath before lunging down, his arm sweeping out, and he scooped the knife up. Turning back to her, his other hand gripped the front of her shirt and he tugged her upper body off the ground, making her groan.

His face inches from hers as he leaned over, spit landed on her cheeks as he hissed, “I’m gonna cut your hair off and you’re gonna apologise to Den for bein’ a nasty bitch and then you’re gonna make it up to him and—”

Short gunfire erupted.

The Murfrees barely had time to cry out. She stared at the man standing over her as a bullet tore through his face, spots of blood landing on hers, and his grip instantly loosened on her as he died and then his body was crumbling, falling on top of her as she fell back.

Gasping out her breaths in shock as she landed, her eyes wide, she felt panic clawing its way up her throat as the dead man lay on her, his features now unrecognisable. Gritting her teeth, she grunted as it took three attempts to shove him off of her completely.

Sucking in deep, harsh breaths, she then went to turn over, wanting to see who had saved her, when a shadow fell across her.

“Fuckin’ inbred trash,” Colm O’Driscoll tutted, his gun by his side as he looked down at the body.

In her peripheral vision, she saw men moving behind him, going to the bodies and their little camp, but she just stared up at him.

Oh, fuck...

Holstering his gun, Colm’s gaze then shifted to her and he smiled. Bending at the knees, he gripped her under the arms. “Come on, darlin’, don’t wanna be hangin’ ‘round here too long.”

Hauling her up with a grunt, she winced, finding that her feet were so cold she could barely feel them as she stood.

“Jesus, you’re shiverin’. Hey, Zach, hand me that...”

A tall dark-haired man with a large beard picked her jacket up and tossed it to Colm who caught it and then draped it around her shoulders. She just continued to stare at him, silent.

He hummed as he removed a knife from his belt with one hand and gripped her arm with the other, keeping her hands out so he could cut through the rope. It took a couple of attempts but then her hands were free, and she hissed out a breath as she started to rub at the red marks they had left, blood rushing back into her fingers.

“These yours?”

She glanced at Colm as he accepted her boots from Zach, arching an eyebrow.

She nodded silently.

“All right.” He dropped them near her feet and turned away, his hands going to his hips as he surveyed the small camp, watching his men search the bodies of the Murfrees.

After tugging her jacket on, Ada then bent down and pulled the boots back on, tying them tightly. Her gaze darted about the ground, trying to locate her guns and gunbelt. They were nowhere to be seen.

Fuck.

Once she’d finished tying them, straightening, she still felt cold so she folded her arms tightly, trying to warm herself. Her eyes lifting, she found Zach stood a few feet away, watching her.

Probably making sure I don’t go anywhere.

Wonderful.

She still felt queasy, too, possibly from the knock to her head... and also the Murfree’s destroyed face which she was very much avoiding looking at.

“All right, let’s go, boys.”

The men, seven of them, started to move at Colm’s announcement, and the man himself approached her once more, nodding his head in the direction they were heading.

“Come on, darlin’, our camp ain’t too far away.”

He held an arm out, gesturing for her to walk first. She paused for a moment, before moving with a long exhale. What choice did she have?

He fell into step with her and rubbed his hands together, glancing at her with a smile. “We heard all the hollerin’ and fancied havin’ a little fun. Who’d have guessed what we’d come back with, huh?”

She remained silent.

“Oh, you ain’t gonna talk to me, is that it?”

Silence.

“Ain’t gonna thank your uncle for savin’ your life?”

Silence.

... and she felt very, very queasy.

“Ahh, that’s all right, I didn’t do it for the—”

She stopped abruptly and doubled over, vomiting onto the damp grass. Her eyes were shut tightly but she heard Colm let out a whistle before feeling a hand rubbing her back.

“Jesus, girl... All right, get it out...”

She heaved again but this time nothing came out, so she spat to rid the awful taste from her mouth, sucking in deep breaths. She was shaking and she didn’t know if it was from the cold still or from how peculiar she felt.

“Zach, can you...?”

She just had time to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand before she was suddenly swept up with a gasp. Staring at Zach as he carried her bridal-style, she tried to push herself out of his arms, albeit weakly.

“What are you—”

“Don’t fuckin’ start, all right, just let the man carry you,” Colm sighed as they walked, Zach looking ahead and not saying a word.

She pressed her lips together, folding her arms, her body tense, but again... no choice.

The camp was only a few minutes away, and despite the current circumstances it felt good to have some time to try and breathe and settle her stomach. It gave her a chance to recognise the woodland, too. They weren’t too far away from Beaver Hollow, she thought, they couldn’t be, the sun was still relatively in the same position. She could escape, she could get back, maybe even before Sadie and Arthur returned. There’d be no need for him to worry, God, she didn’t want to worry him, not when they’d just got each other back.

The trees thinned out into a small clearing and the men broke off to either the fire pit or one of the three tents set up. Two wagons resided to the right and there were probably four or five men here, talking and laughing. She kept her arms folded tightly, her gaze darting between them.

“This way.”

Her eyes returned to Colm, staring at his back and watching him head to the smallest tent, Zach following him. A blonde man sat on a chair outside it, a small table next to him, though he quickly rose from it and trotted away as Colm neared, and as they approached Zach lowered her and set her down on it. She resisted the instinct to thank him, instead just keeping her mouth shut and staring at the ground. He turned and walked away instantly though, not waiting for gratitude.

Humming again, Colm picked up a cloth from the table and dunked it into a bucket of water, squeezing some out of it before turning to her.

As he gripped her chin with his free hand, she hissed as the wet cloth touched her skin, ice cold, which was the last thing she needed. He chuckled, continuing to wipe the specks of blood and mud from her face.

“I don’t think you could be any more pissed off with me, huh?”

She just looked at him, her features tight, jaw clenched.

He chuckled again, wiping hard at her skin. “Don’t tell me you’re the strong, silent type now, huh? I kinda miss you bein’ all loud and shouty.”

She didn’t saw a word, just let him clean her face, willing to make allowances now that she hadn’t been tied up again and he hadn’t demanded a ‘thank you’.

“What happened to your face?” he said after barely two seconds, gesturing at her scar.

The gentle tone of the question surprised her.

“Nothing.”

Damn it.

“Oh, she speaks,” he grinned, gentle tone gone, and tilted his head. “Dutch do that? Or one of his boys?”

She was already shaking her head, her brow dipping at the insinuation. “No, no... Pinkerton agent did it.”

“When?”

Well, I’m already talking and he’s not gonna shut up...

“When we had to escape from where we were staying, a place called Shady Belle.”

“Ah, yeah, I heard about that.” The grin returned as he wiped at her chin. “How is Dutch doin’? Heard he’s just come back from a nice trip.”

Exhaling a weary breath, she moved her head away from his grip, his movements pausing. “What are you doing here, Colm.”

He raised his eyebrows innocently. “Here? Just cleanin’ up my wayward niece.”

She wasn’t in any kind of a mood for this. “I mean this far east.”

Colm grinned, placing his free hand on his chest. “I’m here by invitation, darlin’. You met him, didn’t you, Angelo Bronte? Italian feller, greasy as they come?” She gave no reaction to the mention of the man who’d held Jack and she’d once been hell-bent on killing, but Colm was continuing anyway. “He extended a little invitation to me some time ago. I’d say it’s been a very prosperous relationship indeed, despite Dutch killin’ him which I’m pretty pissed about but, hey, from it I got Dutch cornered, got me better guns and business here, got my niece back—”

“You don’t have me back.”

He sighed, dabbing repetitively at her nose and making her pull her head back to try and get it away. “C’mon, join us, Adaline, it don’t make no sense for you to be runnin’ ‘round alone—”

She snatched the cloth out of his hand, wiping it against her forehead because it suddenly felt warm. “I’m not alone.”

He chuckled, folding his arms as he leaned against the table. “Ah, yes... your little affair with Arthur.”

She froze, her eyes darting to him. “What—”

He tilted his head. “That’s how we knew where you was campin’, darlin’, down at that big house, Shady Belle. Followed you back there after your stay at that fancy hotel. Kieran just decided to take a little walk at the wrong time—”

She rose to her feet, raging. “You bastard—”

His hand was already on her shoulder, easily shoving her back into the chair. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a bastard. I ain’t any worse than Dutch, though.”

She fell silent once more, folding her arms and staring out across the grass.

He laughed, and she didn’t think she could hate him any more. “Nah, you can’t argue with that. ‘specially with all the time you’ve been spendin’ with him—”

“Where’s Thomas.”

He blinked in surprise as her gaze met his, then smiled. “You believe me, then?”

She released another weary breath. “I just want to know the truth, Colm. I’m tired of it all.”

Her uncle shifted his stance slightly, tilting his head. “Well, he ain’t here.”

That was it, then, finally, what she’d known all along, he is dead, he—

“He’s out with scouting groups.” Her eyes met his again as he smiled. “Tryna get rid of the last of these Murfree fuckers. This is good land.”

She stared at him.

It had to be lies.

“You’re a sick man—”

He just spoke over her. “We’re regroupin’ soon, though, west of here.”

She’d had enough, again.

Standing, she smiled tightly. “Well, you can send me a letter when he gets back.”

She was about to stride away when his hand was on her shoulder once more and he pushed her back down, chuckling, it all too easy as she was still a little unsteady on her feet.

“Every time I forget just how damn funny you are.” He placed a hand on his hip, the other on the table as he looked at her. “You know you ain’t goin’ anywhere. Sooner you get used to it, sooner you’ll be happier.”

Smiling brightly, he then straightened and clapped his hands together. “All right, I’ll see if I can get someone to get you some food. Don’t you move, now!”

He strode away, whistling, and she stared at his retreating back, her lip almost curling into a snarl, her fists clenched. It had to all be a lie. Another game he was playing for his own, unknown amusement. It was all too convenient, Thomas not being here, meeting with him ‘soon’. What the hell did ‘soon’ mean, anyway? Well, she wasn’t going to hang around long enough to find out. Her gaze shifting from Colm, she played with the cloth in her hands, surveying the camp.

It was a mess in the most sparse of ways, if that was possible. Another table beside one of the other tents, what looked like it had maps strewn across it with a couple of tins and an empty glass bottle. A few blankets balled up here and there along with saddlebags, even more tins lying around. The wagons were half-filled with a few sealed crates and sacks filled with something she couldn’t identify, unevenly shaped. She could hear horses but couldn’t see them, they must be somewhere behind her or one of the wagons. The men sat around the fire, talking, sleeping or drinking. Zach was with them, watching her. Her eyes quickly left his and looked to the treeline. She could see a man there, guarding. If she just waited until it was dark then she could sneak out and hide in the trees and be back in camp by morning and then—

“Hello!”

She jolted, her head whipping to the side.

An Irish boy, well, young man, really, with shoulder-length, strawberry-blonde hair, possibly a few years younger than her, stopped abruptly, raising his hands as the grin faded into a sheepish smile. “Woah, hey, sorry. I forget how loud m’ voice is.”

She eyed him, still. “What do you want.”

His smiled widened a little more. “Nothin’, really, I just wanted to say hello.”

“Why.”

He was rather taken aback at that. “... Because it’s polite.”

She just continued to stare at him, trying to work out what his ulterior motives could be. He lowered his hands and took a few steps closer.

“I’m Peter, the camp doctor. And, well, I’m here for another reason, too. Colm wants me to have a look at ye.”

“I’m fine.”

He nodded, taking a slight breath. “Sure, sure, he just wants me to double check.”

“I’m fine.”

He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, lowering his voice gently. “Look, I might be polite but I think ye know Colm always gets his way.”

Her jaw moved. Well, he wasn’t wrong there. Shrugging, she looked away, releasing a breath.

“Fine.”

Taking the granted permission, he took the last few steps closer and cleared his throat. “May I?”

She glanced at him and his raised hands and nodded.

“Thank you.” One hand settled on her forehead, the other on the back, feeling the small lump from where she’d been hit, which made her wince.

Fucking Murfrees. She hadn’t had time to think about it but now she did... what the hell were they doing so close to camp? Trying to take back their land? Shit, another thing to worry about.

“The bump should go in a few days,” Peter was murmuring, “Ye’re a little warm, too, but that could be from all the excitement.”

Lord, give me strength.

She raised her eyes to him. “Yes, because I’ve never experienced excitement before.”

He laughed sheepishly. “Yes, sorry, I bet ye have. Does ye’re head hurt?”

“It aches a little, yes.”

“I’ll get ye some water, you should be okay tomorrow.” He removed his hands and she looked at him, watching his nose wrinkle as he studied her. Smiling gently, he gestured at her face. “What’s this?”

She assumed what he was referring to. “A scar.”

He laughed nervously again and she probably would have felt guilty if she wasn’t so pissed off.

“Stupid question. How’d it happen?”

“A knife.”

“Right...” He cleared his throat, then pointed at her throat. “And this other scar? How’d this happen?”

“From when a man held a knife to my throat as Dutch van der Linde killed my father.”

There was a pause. It went on so long her eyes rose to look at him to see what he was doing. His mouth was moving slightly, a sympathetic frown on his features.

“I know about that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

She just hummed, his sincerity finally starting to make the guilt creep in.

“Does anywhere else hurt?” he asked gently after a moment.

“No.”

“You sure?”

Go easy on him.

Licking her lips, her eyebrows rose slightly. “My wrists ache but it’s fine.”

“Yeah, that’ll just be from how they’d had ye tied, it should have gone by tomorrow. Let me know if it doesn’t. Ye’re shakin’, too, lemme get ye a blanket...”

She watched him duck into the tent and come out moments later with a thick green blanket, allowing him to drape it around her. She was about to ease up a little more and thank him when his hand went for the cloth.

“C’mere, ye still got some blood on ye—”

She moved her hand away. “I can do it.”

He instantly drew his hand back, smiling lightly. “All right. It’s just on ye’re left cheek there.”

She began to wipe at it, expecting him to make some kind of an awkward, drawn out goodbye, but he just stood there, his hands clasped together.

“Can I ask ye a question?”

Guilt was still very much lingering so she didn’t want to abruptly turn him away. “Sure.”

“What’s he like?”

She paused in her wiping, taking a moment to fold the cloth. “Who?”

“Dutch.”

Ada exhaled a breath, having half-expected it. “I don’t want to talk about him right now.”

Was this his ulterior motive? Had Colm asked him to gain her trust and then enquire about Dutch? See what state he was in? She had no love for either men but giving information to Colm that might hurt Dutch was something she’d never do. Hurting Dutch meant hurting Arthur, unfortunately.

Peter was all apologies. “Sure, sorry, I was just curious.”

I bet you were... but maybe he just genuinely is.

Glancing at him, she then looked away again, staring at the ground as she twisted the cloth in her hands.

“What do you want to talk about, then?”

Why isn’t he going... Lord, please give me all your strength.

“I don’t.”

“Oh, all right.” The guilt came again at his crestfallen tone, but he brightened a moment later as she looked at him. “I’ll get ye that water and maybe somethin’ to eat, yeah?”

“That would be nice.”

“All right. I won’t be long!”

Watching him walk away, she took in a long breath.

You can be back at camp by morning, just wait until it’s dark and most of them are asleep.

Just wait.

—

The tent was to be hers that night, Peter told her when he returned with a bowl of tasteless stew and a tin cup of warm water. He said it with a smile, like it was a lovely treat. Looking at the state of the camp, it seemed like it was, though.

Situated a little way from the camp fire, they could still keep an eye on her, and she sat on the ground outside it, the blanket still wrapped around her, staring at the grass as darkness fell, lost in her thoughts, mentally mapping out the area and, depending on which main road she was closest to, the quickest way back to Beaver Hollow.

No one approached her or said a word, even Peter left her alone, having finally taken the hint, hopefully, but every now and then she’d look up and find Zach’s eyes still on her. She’d just return her gaze to the ground.

To them she probably just looked tired, dejected, resigned, but she was just biding her time, waiting for them to relax a little more, to drink more, to sleep, to leave longer gaps between when they looked at her.

She did feel odd, though, hot all over, almost feeling hot inside, the sensation having overtaken her rather suddenly about an hour ago, but maybe it was just the blanket. She kept it on, though, the night cold. Her head pounded still, too, but, as Peter had said, that would go soon.

She glanced up at the men. Colm was sat amongst them, smoking a cigarette and drinking from a flask, quiet, smiling, looking at each man as they spoke. Zach was beside him and, thankfully, for once not looking at her, watching the flame of his match as he lit his own cigarette.

A loud laugh went up suddenly from the group and she took her chance.

Pushing the blanket off, she crawled under the table and around the tent. She hoped they would just assume she’d gone in the tent, but she knew that was just wishful thinking; one of them would check, just in case, most likely Zach.

So, knowing time was precious and keeping low, she instantly ran to the trees, straightening only when she was several feet into the woodland. The density of the trees made it seem darker than it was but she hoped that would aid her.

Then she heard shouting from the camp. They had realised what had happened.

She kept running, bowing slightly as she went up an incline. It didn’t matter where she was going, she’d find her way back to Beaver Hollow, she had to, she had to get—

A bullet sounded, then more shouts.

“Don’t fuckin’ kill her!” she heard Colm thunder over the rest of the voices, sounding closer.

With a grimace, she tried to run faster, her leg starting to ache, head pounding, the odd feeling lingering no matter how many deep breaths she inhaled. The men were drawing near, though, she could hear them calling to one another.

“Here! She’s this way!”

Shit.

She was headed down the hill now, slipping slightly on the mud but she kept her footing. She could hear the river, close by, maybe only a few minutes away. If she got to it she could cross it, and then disappear into the trees there, or maybe even hide by some of the large rocks that were usually dotted along it, maybe she could bide her time and then—

Someone barrelled into her, knocking her to the ground.

Landing with a loud groan, her teeth slammed together, narrowly missing her tongue. The person was grabbing at her shoulders, trying to keep her down, but she was thrashing too much, trying to crawl forward as she hissed out sounds.

“Stop, stop it, okay, he’s really angry!”

Peter.

"Let me go,” she hissed, striking her elbow back and knocking him in the chest.

He grunted at the impact but was stronger than he looked, or was she weaker? She certainly felt weak, drained, even.

“I can’t, I’m sorry, please, the others are comin’, they won’t be as nice—”

“I have to get back,” she was hissing, still trying to crawl forward, kicking her legs back in an attempt to push him away.

Tears were pricking at her eyes as she thought about Arthur, imagined him returning to camp, unable to find her, no one knowing where she was, what he would be thinking.

I have to get back to him, I just told him I love him, I can’t leave him, I can’t—

Peter’s weight was suddenly off of her and she released a breath, but before she could surge forward, one hand gripped the back of her jacket and an arm slid under her and then she was hauled up and on to someone’s shoulder.

Zach’s.

He was instantly walking, heading back towards the camp, his arm like a vice around her lower back, keeping her in place. That didn’t stop her from trying to push herself up, though, her hands gripping at the back of his jacket, her legs kicking out again. He didn’t move or say anything, just continued walking, and her struggles were useless.

Why was she so drained?

She could hear the rest of the men catching their breath or coughing out curses, not entirely delighted at having been made to unexpectedly sprint through the woods. She ignored them, trying to blink the tears away because the last thing she was going to let happen would be Colm seeing her cry.

He was angry? Good. So was she, but she would bide her time until she got the upper-hand because, God help her, she would.

Zach halted abruptly and when he set her down, surprisingly carefully, she turned and found they were back at the camp, the fire glowing to her right. It didn’t have her attention, though, because a foot away stood Colm, flask in one hand, finger tapping against it, resting his weight on one foot, his other hand hanging by his side, cigarette resting between his fingers.

His gaze was fixed on her, hard, unreadable. She held it, her chin lifted, breathing even.

What had he expected?

His tongue ran over his teeth and then he turned his head to the side, hawking and spitting. Tilting his head, his voice was light.

“If you try that again I will keep you tied to a post, you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Taking a drag on the cigarette, he nodded leisurely a few times before dropping it to the ground and pressing it into the damp grass with his boot.

“Well, all right, then.”

His hand suddenly lashed out, slapping her. It wasn’t particularly hard but the surprise of it was enough to have her already unsteady legs falling from beneath her. Zach caught her arms in time, though, holding her up, and she swiftly shook one of his hands off so she could raise her own to her stinging cheek.

Hissing out breaths through her teeth, shaking from what now she didn’t know, her eyes tracked Colm, the man having already turned away, watching him move back towards the fire to join his men.

“All right, where was we, then,” he called out loudly, resuming his seat as they continued their conversations like nothing had happened, their backs to her.

Zach was still gripping one of her arms so she wrenched it out of his grip, though she knew it came free more from him allowing it than her own strength.

“I think it’d be best if you went to sleep.”

She stiffened slightly at his voice, American, deep but quiet, and for some reason it made the tears return to her eyes. Sniffing, she dropped her hand from her cheek and swallowed hard. Without saying a word, she turned and moved past him, heading for the tent. If she’d deigned to look at the men around the fire she would have found Peter watching her, regretful, torn.

Stooping and entering the tent, taking the blanket she’d left at the entrance with her, she settled on her knees, letting the flap fall closed behind her. It was tiny, only enough space for her to lie down and maybe lay a few items next to her. She only had her jacket and boots. She just removed the jacket, and realised as she did so that her shirt was sticking to her skin, a light sheen of sweat covering her. Had the run been that strenuous?

Lying down on the bedroll, it was thin but it’d do, she pulled the blanket over herself, rested her head on her arm and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come quickly.

Tomorrow would be a new day.

Tomorrow she would come up with a plan.

Tomorrow she would leave.

—

The next morning she could barely move. Her entire body ached and she felt hot and cold all at once, shaking.

Peter, thankfully, was the one to come and check on her when she didn’t emerge, guilt still troubling him. Taking one look at her, guilt turned to concern and he placed the back of his hand against her forehead.

“Think ye got a fever,” he murmured, pressing his lips together. “Nothin’ too serious I don’t think, but we’re gonna have to wait for it to break.”

Ada just nodded slightly, her throat too sore for her to speak.

“I’ll get ye some water and see what medicines I’ve got, all right?”

He smiled gently before exiting, and she just felt like crying.

Just let me go, just take me to a doctor in town, I don’t want to be here...

“She ain’t up yet?” Colm, stood right outside her tent by the sounds of it.

To no surprise, so was Zach. “Peter says she got a fever.”

“What? Awh, shit...” She heard him hawk and spit. “... We’re still movin’ on today. You and Peter look after her, do what you can, keep up.”

“Will do, boss.”

She heard Colm walk away, whistling to himself.

A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye. They were going to move on, taking her further away from Beaver Hollow. And with how awful she felt... It could be days before she could even sit up without feeling queasy. She’d had a couple of fevers before as a child, could remember how awful she’d felt for days, how her mother had tended to her, had tried to soothe her as she’d cried, wanting to play with her brother.

Peter returned then with a small bag and a skin of water, and she was suddenly struck with how young he was. Maybe even still a teenager. What the hell was he doing here as a doctor? Could he even look after her properly?

She licked her dry lips and swallowed, wincing with the motion. “Take me to the doctor in town,” she rasped.

He glanced at her, and she thought she saw guilt in his eyes before he resumed looking through his bag. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Please...” she murmured, and she thought she had him when he paused again, his eyes closing briefly.

“Ada, I can’t,” he whispered, placing his hand over her clammy one unexpectedly. “I’m sorry but I can’t and ye know it. But I will take care o’ ye and ye will be fine, I promise.”

She just looked at him, knowing her eyes were shining. She didn’t care, now, if she cried, she just felt so awful, every single part of her aching.

“Pete, we got ten minutes then we gotta go,” Zach called, and Peter’s hand left hers, quickly going through his bag.

“All right!”

He had her drink some kind of a tonic, the thick, syrupy, sugary taste of it nearly making her gag.

“I think you just got t’ sweat it out, all right?”

‘I think’ didn’t fill her with confidence.

She nearly burst into tears when Peter helped her sit up and shifted her to the mouth of the tent so Zach could reach in and pick her up. Her body hurt so much but she knew Colm wouldn’t make any allowances for her. Knew even if she hadn’t tried to escape last night that he still wouldn’t have.

She was placed in one of the wagons on a pile of blankets, another one placed over her, and Peter sat in with her as Zach drove it. She stared up at the white canopy of the wagon, feeling every stone and dip the wheels of it went over. It felt almost like a dream, to the point where when she closed her eyes and fell asleep and did dream, she was still lying in the wagon, but now her mother was at her side, fussing and stroking her hair from her face.

“You’ll be all right, you’ll be okay, Mama’s here, darling...”

Peter pretended not to notice when, after she awoke only a few minutes later, the wagon jolting her out of it, silent tears poured down her cheeks.

She didn’t know how many days passed, the fact they moved every day not helping. Whenever she was awake and somewhat lucid, she was either in the wagon with Peter at her side, or in a tent. It sometimes took her a while to work out if it was real or not as her dreams were so vivid.

Her mother came to her often, humming a lullaby like she used to, telling her she’d be all right soon, that the weather is improving. Sean came, too, asking her what the hell she was doing, why she was wasting a perfectly good sunny day when she could be out robbing, making him proud. He was always smiling.

Then there were the dreams she had about Arthur.

Sometimes, she thought she could feel his arm around her, or his voice was in her ear, murmuring to her that she was okay, she was fine, he loved her even though she was a sweaty mess.

Then sometimes he’d be at the other end of the tent, asking where she was, why she was here.

No matter who came, though, they always looked slightly off, like it was them but wasn’t them. Her mother’s eyes were a different colour, Sean smiled differently, Arthur was expressionless, his voice bland.

Several times she thought she’d died and was in hell.

What she wouldn’t remember was Peter sat by her side for most if not all of it, hearing her mutterings and murmurings, hearing her mumble to people who weren’t there, barely able to make out what she was saying. Sometimes he’d have to place a hand on her shoulder to keep her still as she thrashed a little, telling her quietly she was all right, she was okay.

Zach was the only other person to visit, bringing Peter food and water for him and Ada. Sometimes he could get her to eat, when she was having a lucid period, could get her to have half a bottle of a tonic then some water before she’d be out again.

He thought about changing her out of her sweat-soaked clothes, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead he placed fresh garments he believed would fit by the opening of the tent, in case she woke in the rare times he wasn’t there.

And he kept watch, keeping his promise of looking after her.

—

When she awoke, she knew something was different.

She wasn’t hot or cold, just normal. She could see and hear properly, her body didn’t ache. She felt drained still but nowhere near as much as before. She was so thirsty, too, and hungry; she could feel her stomach groaning in protest.

Staring up at the roof of the tent, she just took in a few, even breaths, hoping this wasn’t a dream.

“Oh, hey.” Her gaze dropping sharply, she found Peter sat just outside the slightly open flap, smiling widely. “You’re awake.”

As he ducked his head into the tent, she swallowed, feeling like nails were in her throat.

“Water,” she croaked.

Peter paused, raising his eyebrows a little. “What?”

“Water.”

“Oh, shit, yeah, sorry...” His head ducked out before it returned again moments later, and he leaned in, offering her a skinful of water.

Pushing herself up, her arms shook a little but her head was fine. Accepting it, she took long sips, her eyes closed. She could feel Peter watching her, but it wasn’t until she finally lowered the skin that he spoke.

“You okay?”

She wiped her mouth with her fingers as she looked at him. “Little hungry.”

“Yeah, you’ve not eaten much, but this is good, means you’ve got ye’re appetite back.” He was grinning now, thoroughly pleased. “I’ll get ye somethin’—”

“How long?” she asked just as he started to turn away.

He understood what she meant, his features softening. “A week.”

She nearly felt sick.

“A week?” Her already hoarse voice cracked on the word.

Fuck... We could be anywhere by now.

Peter smiled sympathetically. “Yeah, ye... It wasn’t the worst I’ve seen but it was pretty bad.”

Ada just nodded, her eyes on the blankets covering her legs, trying not to cry. She heard Peter shift slightly.

“Do ye still want somethin’ to eat?”

Clearing her throat, wincing, she shook her head. “It’s all right, I’ll come out and get something. I could do with some fresh air.”

“Yeah, I think that’ll do ye good.”

There was a slight pause in which she met his gaze, and then she allowed a faint smile to lift her lips. “Thank you, for looking after me.”

He shook his head, returning the smile. “It’s all right, no need t’ thank me. ‘m just glad ye’re okay.” Pointing at a corner near him, he continued, “There’s clothes for ye here, they should fit. I’ll be by the fire.”

Before she could thank him again he was gone, the tent flap closing.

Closing her eyes, she ran a hand over her hair as her head bowed, feeling how dry it was but ignoring it for now.

A week.

They could be on the other side of the county, or in another one, miles and miles and miles away. It hurt her unbearably to think of Arthur, to think of how he must be feeling, what he was even doing. Would he be out looking for her? Would gang business keep him away? What if something awful had happened to them all?

She couldn’t cope with it, not now, not with how fragile she felt, so she shoved it to the back of her mind, focusing instead on something smaller; food.

She took her time changing into the odd assemble of black, pinstripe trousers and brown, faintly checked shirt. They were a little big, but once she’d tucked the shirt in and used her belt to tighten the trousers she deemed that they would do. Pulling her boots on, she then neatly folded her beloved blue shirt and her own trousers, and placed them on the bedroll. After running her fingers through a few knots in her hair, she took a breath, licked her dry lips, and moved out of the tent.

She was rather stiff as she straightened so she just stood for a few moments, rolling her shoulders and neck. As she did, grimacing, she surveyed the new camp. They were on top of a hill on a flat patch of grass, and for miles and miles all she could see was the tops of trees, nothing distinguishable anywhere. She took in a breath, fighting the faint feeling of panic that was starting to build.

It’s all right, you can find your way back to him, you will get back to him...

Is he even alive.

Stop it.

She didn’t want to think about that, that the mission to get John might have been unsuccessful. That any of them could have died.

Exhaling a breath, she looked towards the fire pit. She estimated it must be morning, a couple of hours until noon possibly, and the camp was quiet, a few men still sleeping. There were more blankets and saddlebags dotted around so she assumed they must have picked up some more O’Driscolls along the way, wherever the hell they were heading. She saw no sign of—

“Well, look at you, you made it.”

... Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.

Turning her head, she watched Colm approach, tin cup in his hand, the other in his pocket, a lazy grin on his lips. It wasn’t until she saw him that she remembered he’d slapped her. It shouldn’t have surprised her but it had; despite the man he was she’d gotten the sense that he wouldn’t lay a hand on her, yes, even despite the fact he’d had her tied up previously. She’d thought there was some part of him that really did care for her, in his twisted way. What a fool she’d been.

She eyed him warily now, grateful that he stopped a few feet away, sipping his coffee.

“I did.”

The grin lingered. “Good, I would’ve hated to waste time buryin’ you.”

You bastard.

“Come on, boys!” he suddenly called out, in such a loud tone that some of the men sleeping jerked awake and she flinched. “We’re goin’ west to meet with the others.”

His gaze shifting to her, he smiled over the rim of his cup.

She knew what the smile meant; Thomas was supposedly going to be there.

Not giving him a reaction, she asked flatly, “When is this regroup happening.”

He shrugged a shoulder, still smiling. “Couple days.”

Fine. Just a couple of days and then she would have the truth.

—

They travelled for another week.

She would have thought it was on purpose if they didn’t move on every single day. They were always moving, heading west she could tell by the sun, but still a week passed with no sign of a regroup.

And so Ada was forced to acclimatise to what life was like in an O’Driscoll camp.

It was nothing like Dutch’s where there was community and cohesion; here there was no organisation, she was more than certain the men stole from each other, and they found food and drink for themselves. A few would go hunting together and share what they killed but beyond that, nothing. From eavesdropping she gathered they were conducting business as they went, trading, bartering and killing when they stopped at night. She never saw any of it or was asked to go with any of them, though; both not trusted and not allowed to do anything, stuck between being a captive and their boss’s niece.

So with nothing to do, not even a book to read, all she could do was sit and watch and stare and think. Sulking, Colm called it once with a laugh, which just made her press her lips together and made her look like she was sulking even more.

It felt like torture, left with nothing but her thoughts.

She asked Peter if she could assist with anything but he was so adamant that she rest, so polite that he wouldn’t allow it, that to save herself from screaming she just gave up asking. She did sit with him, though, needing something, anything, to do, and she learned from his never-ending stream of consciousness that he had just turned twenty one and only recently come over from Ireland, his father, now a doctor, having known Colm in a former life. So Peter had arrived here, with a letter from his father, and asked around until he found them, and had been welcomed with open arms; there was always limbs to be reattached and wounds to heal. He was excited to be in America, giddy, even, and he either hadn’t witnessed was the O’Driscolls did, ignored it, or was frightened because he didn’t say a bad word against them, didn’t even raise a minor gripe, even when a few jokes were made at his expense. It was nice to make conversation with someone, though, to distract her, and he had saved her life.

She spent all the daytime hours with him, and he eventually did allow her to roll bandages and repair them, though that was it. When they travelled she would sit in a wagon with him, almost bored to tears as they took turns pointing out things they saw.

Zach watched her constantly, even when she bathed in any rivers or lakes they came to, but he never leered, never stared, never even spoke, just stared at a part of the water near her so she was in his peripheral vision, and then above her head when she got out, even though she’d opted to keep her underclothes on. That was useless, though, as they just stuck to her body, but there was no one around to see; no one dared sneak a peek. She quickly realised the men both deeply respected and were kind of afraid of Zach, and she didn’t think it was just to do with how tall he was. He was silent, muscular, and had huge revolvers strapped to his belt and she didn’t doubt that he very much knew how to use them. He shared his food and drink with her, he seemed to have an endless supply of tinned goods, and they sat in silence together, which she didn’t mind one bit. She did murmur a thank you every time, though; she was her mother’s daughter.

His ever watchful gaze gave her no chance to slip away.

At night, tears would trail down her cheeks at knowing Arthur was out there, her heart aching unbearably. What if he thought she was dead, his heart breaking all over again. Would he give up? What if he was grieving her. Spiralling, doing stupid things in disbelief and anger. The darkest, cruellest parts of her mind whispered to her that what if he thought she’d gone, disappeared when she’d had the chance. She was aching to get back to him so much it hurt.

On the fifteenth night of being their captive, she was keeping count now, with the second week spilling over into a third, these insecurities and anxieties swirling in her mind yet again, she sat outside her tent, staring at the ground sullenly.

Zach was sat on a chair a few feet away, whittling something and smoking on a pipe. Peter was asleep a short distance to the right, snoring softly. A few men were talking around a fire some way off, but other than that it was quiet. That’s what surprised her most about the O’Driscoll camp; the quiet. She’d expected raucous laughter, copious drinking and shouting, insults flung this way and that but, no, the men spoke to who they wanted to talk to and got on with what they needed to. Part of her wondered if this was why Colm chose these men to be around him, for the quiet. Maybe they were just the best listeners, the ones least likely to disagree.

Her thoughts lingered on her uncle. He’d barely spoken to her since she’d recovered, only grinning when he caught her eye or bidding her a cheerful good morning or evening when he passed. Other than that, she didn’t see much of him and she liked that just fine. She was... apprehensive of his company now, knowing he wasn’t beyond physically hurting her if she disobeyed him. It made her all the more anxious for whenever there would be this regrouping; who better to make an example of than his own niece?

She couldn’t even think about it, the prospect of being around more O’Driscolls, ones she knew for certain would be rowdier than this group... and also finally knowing Thomas’s fate.

She knew it already, though; he was dead.

Once it was confirmed she was going to leave by any means necessary, but not before—

“Hey, darlin’.”

She caught herself before she flinched. Lifting her eyes, she found Colm sauntering closer, smoking. The apprehension grew; she’d learned that any conversation with him didn’t turn out well.

He coughed and then took a drag, blowing out a thin stream of smoke. “You better get some sleep, we’re all meetin’ up tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Part of her believed he was actually telling the truth this time.

Her eyes followed him as he passed, smiling. “You’re gonna need all your energy for seein’ your brother.”

I hate you.

Her teeth were clenched so tightly. She didn’t believe it. It was a cruel trick he was playing.

And she was going to kill him for it.

—

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baldwin-montclair · 5 years

Text

Baldwin’s Nightingale (Part 5)

Characters: Baldwin Montclair/OC

Timeframe: After the S1 Finale, TV Show canon only (haven’t read the books yet)

Summary: Alisha weighs up Baldwin’s offer whilst dealing with the potential result of making the ‘wrong’ choice.

Tag requests: @christi14 @poemfreak306 @pookie-cleary

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

Alisha woke up to her phone alarm and in a room bigger than the small house she shared with Michael. The bed was a massive, oak, four post affair with sumptuous curtains.

The water temperature in the raindrop shower was perfect, no jiggling taps or sudden cold and hot shocks, just relaxing and blissful. After drying her hair, she decided to check out the fridge to see what she could whip up for breakfast.

Glass of orange juice and a bowl of greek yogurt with strawberries and raspberries, all enjoyed whilst taking in the morning view from the tall windows. Luckily, she had figured out how to close the roof window to avoid freezing the night before.

The night before.

First date and he offered her the world, in exchange for control over a part of it. She understood his message better now in the clear light and with a clearer head. His conditions didn’t seem like much of an imposition. Christina was nice enough and she’d most likely answer if he called anyway.

It’s not like she enjoyed taking the subway.

Her musings were interrupted by the ringing of her phone and, excitedly she checked the caller ID.

Michael.

“Hi.” She answered trying to not sound as disappointed as she felt.

“Don’t ‘hi’ me, the hell are you?” He sounded more worried than angry.

“I texted you last night that I was staying over.”

“What? I didn’t get a...” he trailed off, the sound of button presses replacing his voice, “you’re staying over at ‘Baldwin’s place’, see me tomorrow.” He read the rest of the message he had clearly just seen.

“Mike, chill, I’ll be over in a bit.”

“As soon as possible, there’s much you don’t know.”

“Fine. Bye.” Alisha hung up and called Christina, deciding to honour the promise she’d made Baldwin the night before.

“Good morning Alisha.”

“Uh, hi, listen, I hate to be a nuisance but-”

“I’ll stop you there, you’re not. Now, are you ready to go?”

“Sure, where will I get you?”

“You just wait there, I will come collect you from the apartment.”

“Don’t you need like a key and code?”

“Mr Montclair charged me to be your protector, Alisha, I have a key and code.” She explained cordially.

“Oh, makes sense. Well I guess I’ll just hang here.”

“I should be there in fifteen. Until then.” She hung up and Alisha wondered where she was that she could be there so quickly.

It was, however, enough time to tidy after herself, wash up the dish ware and cutlery, and both glasses from the previous night.

Alisha could tell Christina was about to object when she took shotgun position instead of backseat passenger but didn’t say anything.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked after some time.

“I did, strangely. Usually I can’t sleep well in an unfamiliar place but I was out like a light.”

“I’m happy to hear it.” There was no tone of sarcasm in her voice, just the same friendly yet formal manner.

Although the rest of the journey passed in silence, it was not uncomfortable, in fact, she felt oddly at ease with the other vampire, another mark in the ‘pro’ column.

When they pulled up at the door, Michael got out almost right away, clearly hoping to face Baldwin but faced Christina instead.

“Kris?” He stared in disbelief.

“Hello Mikey!” She smiled, seemingly forgetting her formality.

“Mikey,” Alisha repeated, “you know each other?” She asked.

“Somewhat.” Michael answered guardedly as Alisha tried to get out of the car but found it locked again.

“Are you kidding?” Alisha groaned in annoyance when Christina opened her door.

“Never about security.” She closed the car door behind Alisha and walked back around to the driver’s side.

“So you’re doing Montclair’s errands now?” Michael jibed.

“Bye Mikey, Alisha, you call me if you’re going anywhere!”

Alisha nodded and watched her drive off before turning back to Michael.

“Inside, we need to talk.” He moved aside to let her in and closed the door behind them.

“Look, if this is a lecture-“

“Alisha, stop, I need to tell you something, what I actually found in Venice.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I used to be on the Congregation,” he blurted out, taking a seat in his armchair as Alisha sat on the couch, “it was before I agreed to be your mentor but I was there and I still have my contacts.”

Alisha remembered Baldwin mentioning that she should speak to Michael regarding developments.

“Okay, so what’s the news?”

“A witch found the Book of Life, basically tore the entire congregation apart when she skipped off with Matthew De Clermont, your boyfriend’s brother.”

She understood a little more about Baldwin’s statement regarding his brother calling him rarely being a good thing.

“Where are they now?”

“We don’t know. Initially they went to France but where after that, the Daemons weren’t informed.”

“When you say ‘skipped off’.”

“Mated, apparently.”

“A witch and a vampire?” She asked, incredulous.

“Aren’t you seeing a vampire.”

“Neither vampires nor witches hate us, they just don’t consider us a threat.”

“I think Montclair knows more about their location than he claims.” Michael states, watching her carefully.

“He hasn’t mentioned it to me if that’s what you’re suggesting, nor will I ask him.” She stated defiantly despite knowing that Michael may be correct in assertion, given Baldwin’s concern and admission that they were ‘beyond his protection’.

“Okay!” Michael help up his hands in mock surrender.

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“That? No, that was just recent developments. I wanted to talk to you about this.”

He opened his laptop and showed her the same fresco from the previous night. A very beautiful depiction of the Roman goddess Diana with various animals surrounding her.

“I’ve seen this already.”

“I know, but look at this!” Michael tapped a button and an overlaid pattern of Latin characters over the animals. Beneath the photo he had arranged the letters in a line.

“Hold on,” she noticed the significance of the letters, “you think that’s music?”

“Maybe, can you play it?”

“Sure.” Alisha went to her room and retrieved the old violin her parents her bought her, it was her practice instrument.

She studied the notes before playing the melody, a beautiful, haunting and almost familiar song before stopping abruptly.

“Where’s the rest of it?”

“That’s it.”

“No, there’s more, the melody is not complete.” She answered with forceful confidence.

“Okay, I hear you. There were two other sites he was going to show me, I haven’t decoded the second one yet and the third one, the property had been closed off due to the purchase of the building.”

“So? Just talk to the owner-”

“No, I won’t be doing that.”

“Why?”

“It was purchased by another member of the Congregation, Gerbert D’Aurillac, vampire, not to be trifled with.”

“Why does he want it, what’s it for?”

Michael glanced at her then away, as though weighing up his options.

“Michael, what is it?”

“Something big,” he answered cryptically, “something that explains our place in this world, something that’ll make the witches and vampires see us as equals, not as pawns in their power struggle.”

“What does this Gerbert guy have to do with that?”

“I don’t know yet but I’ll keep working on the second fresco.”

She nodded in agreement, heading out the room towards her bedroom to get ready for that night’s performance.

“Do me a favour,” he stopped her, “don’t tell Montclair about this, or Kris or anyone for that matter. This knowledge could be dangerous in the wrong hands.”

“Fine,” she answered simply, “this is your wheelhouse, not my secret to tell.”

“Will you be back later?”

“Yeah, I’ll be home after the show, you just get that finished, I wanna hear the next part.”

“Yes Ma’am!”

The gathered orchestra stood in the amphitheatre having been directed there by a notice on the backstage door, no other explanation.

After a few moments, a short, elderly man joined them, a daemon, Alisha’s senses picked that up when he glanced around the group and landed on her.

“My name is Brian Cassidy. Unfortunately, Jonathan had to be let go and I will now be standing in as musical director as per request of the board.”

A confused murmur rippled amongst them.

“I understand this is sudden but we want to get back to normalcy, yes?”

Unenthusiastic agreements responded to his request.

“Splendid, that is all.” He dismissed them.

“What’d Jonathan do?” Susan asked nobody in particular but Scott responded with a shrug.

“Beats me, he was a stand-up guy.”

“Yeah, this new MD seems like a total-”

“Alisha Black,” he again addressed the crowd, “where is Alisha, I’d like a word.”

“Great!” She told her colleagues with a considerable amount of sarcasm and approached the fellow daemon. He waited until everyone had left before he addressed her.

“I think we can dispense with the formalities, Alisha.”

“Okay...” she responded, unsure what he was getting at.

“I am the primary shareholder of this company and I am concerned about the attention you are bringing to our door.”

“What kind of attention are you concerned about?”

“I prefer to remain outside of creature politics, having a daemon associated with a vampire on the congregation is not desirable.”

Alisha stared at him in shock.

“Have you been spying on me?”

“Call it protecting an investment.”

“Listen-”

“No, you listen! It’s not just about the politics, if you were seeing a witch or any other vampire, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Baldwin Montclair, de Clermont, is the ruin of our kind, the reason we cannot gather in communities while the witches and the vampires do as they wish. You are a talented musician but I will not have De Clermont’s pet lead my orchestra, I would shut the doors first.”

“Are you firing me?”

“I’m warning you. If you do not cut ties with him, I will be forced to let you go, it’s your decision. I expect it by tomorrow.” He walked away, leaving her dumbfounded.

Two ultimatums in as many days.

Alisha did not want to talk, or think. She didn’t call Christina, instead, she allowed Scott to drop her off by the subway.

By the time she walked in the front door she just wanted to collapse on her bed, go to sleep, wake up the next day with all the answers.

Unfortunately, she caught the subtle scent of incense from Baldwin’s coat and it stopped her in her tracks.

Could she walk away from the first chair, a position that took years to earn and would take years to earn again in a different company?

All for what?

She didn’t know what the terms were, the assurances or what happens when he gets bored of her, how many ‘Nightingales’ does he have, all questions to which she knows no answers.

Yes, she was extremely and hopelessly attracted to him but that wasn’t reason enough to abandon everything she had worked for, that would be insane.

“Michael, what exactly is a ‘Nightingale’?” She called out before entering the living room, she would at least get the perspective of someone who was familiar with the concept.

There was no answer.

Alisha rolled her eyes, Michael got into a flow whilst working where he could not hear anything and instead prepared herself to shake him out of it.

What greeted her instead, was a scene she could never prepare herself for.

Papers and books lay strewn around the room.

Michael lay amongst the mess, eyes open and empty of life, an obvious bite mark on the side of his neck and a smashed computer beside him.

———

PART 6

#baldwin montclair #baldwin’s nightingale #adow baldwin #adow fic #baldwin de clermont

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all-that-is-left-is-the-heart · 4 years

Text

Sometimes life surprises us. And some people come into our lives always for a reason.

AO3

Chapter 22

She had no luck. As she was approaching the building, she saw Robert getting into a cab with someone she couldn't know who it was. Maybe if she had arrived a little earlier she had caught him in his office. Maybe if she had called him, he would have stayed and waited for her.

Maybe.

She was suddenly hating that word, because it was as if everything lately in her life was a maybe. Maybe if she hadn't said something without thinking, something so stupid, she and Robert wouldn't be still in a fight. Maybe if she hadn't accepted that proposal without first discussing it with him, they wouldn't have argued like they did. Maybe if they had fought harder, she wouldn't have lost her daughter. Maybe if when Leigh decided to give her daughter up to her, and she and the other people had insisted more on looking for her parents, she wouldn't be in the situation she was currently in.

No, no, no. She stopped her thoughts. This maybe couldn't exist, Annie was the best thing that ever happened to her and brought her the best things too. She would never regret it. But all the other maybe were laughing at her face right now. She couldn't stand there thinking about all this. At least she was lucky no one in the office saw her, so Robert wouldn't know she had gone there.

“Elizabeth!” She heard as she was walking away from the building and then closed her eyes and sighed. She wasn't that lucky.

When she turned around she was surprised to recognize the owner of the voice that shouted her name.

She smiled as Michael approached her.

“Hi!” He said, taking off his sunglasses and then greeted her by kissing her on the cheeks.

“Hi Michael, how are you?” Elizabeth asked as they walked away.

“I'm fine and you? Are you all right?” She just nodded yes. “Looks like we decided to visit Robbie at the same time. Or rather, are you already leaving? I was still in the cab when I saw you standing in front of the building. Any problem?” Great, apparently she must have been there longer than she thought.

“Yeah, I mean no, no problem at all and yes, I was leaving,” she laughed at her confusion just as he did.

“I think someone else came first and took Robert away,” she said with a shrug and at Michael's confused look she added, “When I was arriving I saw him get in the cab and I realized someone was with him.”

“And why didn't you call him?” Michael inquered. He knew about their fight and how Robert was waiting for her to look for him. It wasn't fair for them to miss each other, it seemed like those romantic comedies and he hated it.

“It was probably something important and I didn't want to mess up his plans.” She had wanted to call to him, she wasn't far away and he would have heard her, but in the situation they were in, she wouldn't do that.

“It must be nothing important. He left a short time ago isn't it, I'll call him and say we're here,” he said picking up his cell phone but Elizabeth stopped him, holding his arm.

“No Michael, don't do that,” she asked. She was sure he knew about their fight and judging by the nod he gave her, he understood why she stopped him.

“Okay, let's leave him without the honor of our visit then,” he joked and she gave a small laugh. It had been days since that had happened, and Elizabeth liked the fact that she meet Michael there.

“What do you think of going somewhere for a drink?” Michael suggested. "After all, we have free time, aren't we?" She couldn't reject his invitation.

“Yeah. I feel like drinking something cold right now.”

“You guessed my thoughts,” he joked, and then they walked to a café not far away.

She'd had a not so good day, her visit to the Institution wasn't as she wished it to be, since she was with her mind away most of the time. She ended up being rude to Kimberly unintentionally, and she wouldn't be able to resolve her situation with Robert that day. So a casual conversation with Michael would be welcome.

“Well, when you said something cold, I had something else in mind,” Michael said nonchalant, looking at his milkshake.

Elizabeth laughed. “I think we can talk today without involve drinking,” she joked while sipping her chocolate drink. Rarely did she indulge in such things but since it was a very hot day, she felt like taking a big milkshake, even though she knew she wouldn't finish it.

“That night was great, wasn't it?” He smiled as he remembered. And how! Elizabeth thought and then looked down in fear of Michael seeing her blush. Whenever anyone talked about that night she would remember only the night with Robert, in her bed.

“You know, Elizabeth, Robbie was really afraid to introduce us because he knows me so well and knows how I can be,” he paused and laughed. “But I was surprised you didn't find me too eccentric.” He said the word with disdain, that was exactly what Robert's ex-wife had said about him.

“I don't know why someone would think that of you. I think you're a nice person,” she said and he smiled.

“That's because you have a sense of humor just like me. We're soul mates and I'm glad Robert introduced us,” he joked and she laughed. She really needed to have meet him today.

“I don't know if I have the same sense of humor as you but I can say I like your spirits,” Elizabeth smiled gently at him. “I really don't know why Robert was apprehensive about introducing us.”

“Previous experience, I've never left a good impression on his exes. Especially Susan. But let's not waste time talking about her.” Elizabeth didn't know what had happened and what Robert's ex-wife was like, but she could be sure she and Michael didn't get along, which must have been tricky since Robert and she have been married for years.

“You didn't have a good relationship with her, did you?” She asked.

“No,” he said bluntly. “Our relationship has always been very cordial, and sometimes it was quite tolerable when we were in the same place. She had no sense of humor, and you already realized what I am like,” she nodded and smiled. “I wouldn't change my way just to please her, but I often held back because of Robbie. But I am the way I am.”

“They either love you or hate you,” she joked.

“Yes, and I'm glad you love me,” he deadpanned and she smiled.

“I was relieved when I met you because you're nothing like her,” Elizabeth looked at him curiously. "Sorry, I didn't want to compare you two, isn't that-”

“It's ok, no problem,” she assured him. She was in fact curious about being nothing like Robert's ex, according to his friend. But unlike her first conversation with Michael when she learned some things about Robert's past, she now didn't want to question his friend about it, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know more than she already knew about his ex-wife. It was better the way it was.

“I really don't know why the others didn't like you, but I want you to know that I adored you,” she said and he joked pointing at her and then tapping the left side of his chest, making Elizabeth smile again.

“Robert is very lucky to have you as a friend,” Elizabeth said twirling her straw in cirles in her milkshake, she wouldn't reach even half of it.

“Just as he's lucky to have you,” Michael said and noticed when she avoided his look and continued to play absently with her straw.

“He told me about your discussion,” he ended up broaching the subject. Robert had briefly talked about the fight when he asked about Elizabeth. He couldn’t believe that they hadn't yet made up.

“So he told you how stupid I was?” She asked, looking back at him.

“No, he would never say that, Elizabeth,” Michael said seriously. “He just told me the reason. He said that you accepted a proposal and that he didn't approve and then as you didn't agree with each other you two ended up arguing. But I thought he exaggerated. Ok, he didn't think it was a good deal, but you could see your daughter, and that's what matters, isn't it? Robbie should understand that.”

Robert hadn't given many details about the fight with Elizabeth, and Michael really didn't understand why they had fought over it so much that they weren't talking to each other yet. He told his friend that the most important thing would be Elizabeth and her daughter to see each other but Robert said that wouldn't be good, not the way it was proposed. As a friend he could understand Robert's concern, but as a father, he completely understood Elizabeth's side and if he were in her shoes he would do the same thing. He would accept any offer if it gave him a chance to see more of his children.

Hearing this, Elizabeth felt even more guilty, because the way Robert told it seemed like he was the wrong one and was keeping her from seeing her daughter. And that wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for his friend to think he should be more understanding. She thought he would really tell how it happened, since they seemed to tell each other everything, just like her and Kimberly, but it seemed Robert decided to omit the part where she treated him like he was a nobody. It pained her now to think that she meant him like that. If someone asked her what her biggest flaw was, she would no doubt answer that it was saying things without thinking and in a way that would hurt people without her intention. As much as she tried she was always making those same mistakes. Dammit her.

“It wasn't like he told you,” she said and Michael raised an eyebrow. “Robert understood, and that's exactly why he was against that agreement.”

“I don't understand, why would he be against you seeing Annie?” Michael started to get lost. His friend loved that girl so much that he couldn't understand why he thought it a mistake for Elizabeth to accept the deal. But apparently there was more to it than that.

“Robert isn't against it, he just doesn't agree on how it will be done. He doesn't think it will be good for her to see me for a few moments, just when it suits her grandmother. And I shouldn't have accepted it without talking to him first,” Elizabeth acknowledged.

“Even though he thinks that, I still don't understand why you fought and why you still aren't speaking to each other.”

“Because I hurt him, Michael,” she revealed and now completely relinquished her milkshake. “I was stupid with him. When he said I was making a mistake, I told him that I wouldn’t let anyone stop me. Can you understand what I said? In addition to not considering his opinion as my boyfriend or as my lawyer, I called him nobody, as if he had no importance in this story.”

Michael was surprised. Now he completely understood why they had fought and why his friend said Elizabeth should be the first to take the first step and not him, as his friend suggested. And he also understood that Robert chose not to tell him the details of their fight, so that he wouldn't judge Elizabeth and think she was selfish. Maybe if it was another woman he would think exactly that, but he knew Elizabeth, talked to her, he could tell she wasn't nothing like that, she probably just defended herself when he said she shouldn't have accepted the deal. He could imagine how desperate she must be to see her daughter and would say anything without thinking to anyone trying to stop her. Again, he as a father could fully understand her, and as a friend he now knew how hurt Robert was.

“Oh! I could never imagine that, but I understand you Elizabeth. You just want to see your daughter. That's what any mother or father would do,” Michael said to try to reassure her, he could feel her nervousness now. “And believe me, Robert knows that too. You two just need to talk to each other.”

“But you also know how hearing that hurts him, doesn't it? You know him better than me,” she stated.

“I will not deny it, Elizabeth. I know hearing that must have hurt Robert a lot,” he said and she closed her eyes. “I know that because I know how much he loves that girl. Since he took your case he wouldn't stop talking about it, I have told you that,” she nodded, it had warmed her heart when he first told her this, knowing Robert talked about her and Annie with his friend since he meet her has been really made her feel special. But now it hurt her to hear it again.

“He would keep talking about Annie whenever he got a chance. He just fell in love with your little girl, and I'm sure he would do anything for her, just as every parent does,” Michael was extremely sincere and hoped Elizabeth wouldn't be upset about it.

“My God, I was so stupid,” she propped her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands.

Elizabeth now felt even worse than she had before. Hearing all what Michael said made her realize how wrong she was to talk to Robert like that. She knew he loved Annie, she really did, but hearing his friend tell her these things showed the extent of his feeling for her daughter. Robert already loved her as if he were her father, and it must have been very difficult for him to reject Mrs. Johnson's offer. He must have been torn between his reason and his heart but in the end his duty as a lawyer had to prevail. He couldn't and wouldn't accept both of them being used like this. He was just trying to protect her and Annie. Now Elizabeth could understand that and regretted it even more for treating him like nothing. He deserved none of that.

“Don't be like that, Elizabeth, I didn't mean to make things even worse.” That wasn’t his intention when he brought that up. If he had known it he would have kept quiet, at least she was smiling with him and not having to remember their whole fight.

“No you didn't make anything worse, don’t worry. You just made me see how wrong I was. Robert just wants our good and I treated him that way. I completely understand if he doesn't want to see me anymore,” she said and wiped a tear that had run down her cheek.

“Don't talk nonsense. Of course he wants to see you, this is what he wants most, this and having Annie back.” Elizabeth managed a small smile.

“He loves my daughter so much, I really don't know how I could say that to him. I know he would do anything for her.”

“That has no doubt. I realized it when he tried to find her father,” Michael blurted out and she looked shocked.

“He did what?!"

"Damn it. I shouldn't have told that.” He wished he could took it back, but he couldn't.

“Michael, please, now you have to tell me. What's this about Robert looking for Annie's father?” She could never imagine that.

He took a deep breath before starting. “Okay, it was a while ago, he was trying to find a way to get the custody back and he remembered about Annie's father.”

“But he's dead,” she interrupted him.

“Yeah, but he thought that might be another wrong information from Annie's mother and tried to go after some information of the guy. I wasn't much for it, because I thought that if he were alive, instead of helping you he might get in the way if he got interest in the girl. But Robert wanted to do anything to try to get the custody. I also warned him that you might not like him doing this without you knowing it, but he made sure that if he got any information he would tell you and you would decide what to do.”

“And did you have any information?” Of course they didn't, otherwise Robert would told her. But she asked anyway.

“No, we had no information about him, it would be very difficult to find him. In the end Robert thought the information that he was dead was true.”

“I now remember Robert asking some questions, asking if Leigh ever gave any information about him. But I could never imagine that he would decide to look for him.” Elizabeth was really surprised that he had.

“And now you know, and it’s all thanks to me and my big mouth. Robert when he knows it he's going to kick my ass and I can't even complain,” he joked, even at a serious moment he could still make jokes, and didn't regret it since he managed to make Elizabeth laugh again.

“Don't worry, he won't do it, because I won't let him.” His friend was really lucky to have this woman, Michael thought.

“My hero,” he joked and Elizabeth shook her head, smiling. “But seriously Elizabeth, don't think he was doing something behind your back, he really just wanted to help and like I said he would do anything for Annie.”

“I would never think that, Michael. He could have told me though. But I think I know why he didn't. It would give me hope, I would really be anxious about it and it would come to nothing.”

“He did right then,” Michael noted and she nodded.

“I wish so much that you get your daughter back, Elizabeth.”

“That's all I want most. It's very hard to stay away from your child.” She now said something that Michael knew very well. Maybe that was why they had gotten along so well, because they knew this pain.

“I know very well how that is.”

“I also wish you could see your children more often. Robert told me why you were cut off from their life for a while, and I don't think that's fair either.” And to say things without thinking was also something they had in common.

“Sorry Michael, I shouldn't have said that. Robert eventually told me about it, but he didn't mean to disrespect you or anything,” she defended, afraid he might get upset that Robert had told her that.

“It’s OK, Elizabeth. This is no secret, and I completely trust Robbie, if he told you about it, it is because he knows you would never judge me because of it.” Michael wasn't ashamed of this and didn't hide it from anyone, if someone suspected his involvement with other men and asked him about it he would tell without any problem and without shame. As a young man, he might have been afraid of what people would think but now he just lived his life.

“I would never judge you, Michael. It's your life and I think everyone should be free to do whatever they want and need to be happy.” Damn man, never lose this woman, Robbie!

“Let's toast to that,” he said and lifted his empty glass and Elizabeth did the same. She then laughed when he pretended to drink something in his glass.

“You really are something else,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“At least that made you laugh.”

“And I thank you for that. I really appreciate it,” she smiled at him. “By the way thank you for our conversation Michael, even though it had more serious matters, it made me very well to talk and laugh with you,” Elizabeth said truthfully. Michael was really becoming a friend to her.

“I'll always be here when you need it," he said gently looking at her, and Elizabeth nodded appreciatively at him. “But now, tell me, you're going to look for Robbie, aren't you?” What he wanted most was these two to work things out. That phase of taking Robert for a big night on the town was over, and unlike other times, when Robert said he had had a fight with his girlfriend, he didn't invite him to go out with him like he used to, to make him forget the problems. Now with Elizabeth, he wouldn't do that, he really liked her and respected their relationship, not that he didn't respect the other relationships his friend had, but with Elizabeth it was different, he really already had a great affection for her.

“Yeah, I'll go look for him. I owe him that,” she acknowledged.

“Great, maybe he's back in the office,” he said excitedly.

“No Michael, it didn't work out today, and we had a very emotional conversation, I don't think I can have another one with him. It's not going to be an easy conversation, I know that.”

“Well, I think if you tell him what you said to me will be enough, don't think it will be difficult, Elizabeth. I know my friend and he won't make it hard for you.”

“I'm not so sure about that.”

“Trust me, Robbie does have a big heart.”

“Yeah, he does,” she said and smiled fondly. Robert had a big and beautiful heart that didn't deserve what she had done to him, and she wished she would never break it. But she would fix that.

They talked a little more and then decided to leave because they both still had to go back to work despite the day being almost over. Elizabeth asked Michael not to tell his friend he had been with her, she didn't want Robert to know that she had gone to his office, not until they talked. Michael of course understood her request and promised her that he wouldn't told Robert it if he spoke to him before she did. Before saying goodbye he promised to go to her gallery one day and she got excited about the idea, she would like to see him there and was curious about the prospect of him and Kimberly meeting, they were very similar in some ways and both of them were cheering for her and Robert.

Her afternoon wasn't what she imagined it would be but in the end she enjoyed the time she spent with Michael, he was a nice person to be with and she increasingly appreciated it. She didn't want to steal Robert's friend at all but she was glad they were building their own friendship. She just hoped it wouldn't make Robert or Kimberly jealous, she thought smiling as she got into the taxi. She was feeling much lighter and it was giving her the courage she needed. Soon she would look for him.

Summer in NY always ranged from extremely hot days to cloudy days and a rain shower would happen. For this reason, Robert decided to stay home, he wasn't in the mood to go out and preferred that the meeting was in his apartment. When she first came to his office he was really surprised, he wasn't expecting a visit from her, so when she called him wanting to continue the conversation he saw no problem doing it in his apartment.

He was in the kitchen when he heard the doorbell and asked her to answer the door. He just hoped it wasn't Michael.

“Hello, come in,” she gestured for the other woman to enter.

Elizabeth was really surprised to see another woman in Robert's apartment and suddenly hesitated to enter. The first time she made an attempt to go talk to him it didn't work out, so she spent the other day wondering how she would do it and decided she would go on Saturday, because it would be easier to find him at home. Again she decided not to call before and right now, seeing another woman there, she thought she should have called him. Or not.

Who broke that awkward moment was Duck, who realized that it was Elizabeth and ran to her, apparently happy to see her after a few days.

“Hey boy,” she said and bent down a little to caress him. “You missed me, huh?”

“I can say so, because since I got here I don't see him as happy as now.” The woman still holding the door said.

Elizabeth got up and gave a small smile. She still didn't know if she would enter or not. But the contented dog seemed eager for her to decide to enter.

“I think Robert is busy so I can come back another time,” she said.

“No, he's in the kitchen but he's already coming. Please come in,” the elegant woman tried again and this time successfully.

It was so odd to Elizabeth entering the Robert’s apartment welcomed by another woman. It was as if for that moment she no longer had a right to be there and that feeling bothered her.

“Sorry, I didn't introduce myself,” the woman started. “I'm Susan,” she finally said her name and by the surprised look of the blonde woman in front of her, she was sure she knew who she was.

Elizabeth was speechless. That one in front of her, offering her hand for a handshake was Robert's ex-wife and she suddenly felt a twinge of jealousy because from what she knew they had no contact and now she was there in his apartment. Elizabeth didn't want to think about it too much.

“Hi, I am-” she began, but the woman interrupted her.

“Elizabeth,” Susan completed. “I saw your photo then Robert told me who you were.” Elizabeth wondered if him had told her their whole story and how they were doing now. “Very beautiful your daughter,” she then commented and a genuine smile rised up on Elizabeth’s face. It didn't matter if she was angry, sad or even jealous, just mentioning her daughter was enough to let her guard down at any time.

Robert finally returned to the living room and was surprised to see the two women standing opposite each other. But he was even more surprised that Elizabeth had come looking for him, finally. He was really worried that she would never do that, but he couldn't help thinking that the moment she chose was awkward.

“Hey Elizabeth,” he said, unsure how to react.

“Hi Robert,” she said and she hated that formality between them. But before he could get closer she added, “I really didn't want to mess up, I can come back another time,” she motioned to the door.

Susan found their behavior strange. When she saw the photo of Elizabeth and her daughter, she asked who they were and he briefly told her how they met and that they were together but soon he changed the subject. Now, seeing both of them acting like this, she could feel that something was wrong between them.

“No, you're not messing up anything,” he said and moved for everyone to sit down. Elizabeth chose to sit in an armchair while Robert sat at one end of the couch and Susan at the other. Duck decided to stand next to Elizabeth and Robert smiled at the choice of his dog, apparently it wasn't just him who missed her.

Elizabeth couldn't help but notice Susan. She remembered what Michael said and not only did she and the other woman differ in personality, as he said, but they were completely different physically as well. Susan was probably older than her, taller, her hair was short and dark just like her eyes but her skin was light like hers but had a tan tone. She had an undeniable beauty and charm. Susan looked like that kind of classic woman who was elegant in any situation and while Susan was dressed in a pair of black palazzo pants and a white silk blouse, Elizabeth was dressed in jeans and a white and black striped sweater, luckily she decided to wear heeled boots so she didn’t look so much shorter than the other woman.

No doubt they were different, and she realized that Robert probably didn't have a type of woman like other men whose girlfriends always resembled each other.

“I really didn't expect you to come here today, Elizabeth,” Robert said in a tone that let her know that he was surprised that she had finally come looking for him, but she said nothing.

“I even thought it was Michael when I heard the doorbell,” he added. Anyone but you, she understood what he meant and felt a pang of sadness.

“Good thing it wasn't, or I'd have to leave,” Susan joked and Robert laughed. “I wouldn't be willing to hear the jokes he would make for meeting me here,” she finished, and Elizabeth could understand what Michael meant when he said they didn't get along.

“I'm sure he wouldn't say anything, or at least try not to say anything.”

“Robert, you know him better than me and you know he wouldn't miss the opportunity to tease me,” she said and Robert had to agree with her.

“I met him days ago,” Elizabeth then said and they both looked at her. “We had a great afternoon,” she added. She suddenly felt the need to make it clear to Susan that she got along with him.

“When was that?” Robert asked astonished, he had talked to his friend the day before and he didn't mention about being with Elizabeth.

“On Thursday, we meet near-” she stopped when she realized she almost said near his office. “Near a bookstore. It was totally by chance but it was great because we talked a lot.”

“Hmm, I talked to him yesterday and I think he forgot to comment on that to me,” he said and Elizabeth was pleased to hear that Michael kept his promise not to comment on anything with his friend. “Which is curious since he never stops talking about you.” He was really surprised that they had meet and Michael didn't tell him anything about that and Robert was more curious about what they talked about.

“Robert told me briefly about your daughter, Elizabeth. Don't you think about getting her back?” Susan changed the subject because it wasn’t in her interest to talk about Michael, and she also realized that Robert was still thinking about what Elizabeth said, and if she still knew him she knew he was wondering why his friend didn't tell him about it, since apparently he and Elizabeth got along.

“Yes, of course I do,” she replied. “That's the only thing I think of.”

“At least Elizabeth can see her.” Elizabeth looked at Robert. “Of course, whenever her grandmother allows it.” He's still hurt, she realized. From the tone he spoke, she had no doubt he was, but she was annoyed that he brought this up in a conversation with his ex. They should talk about it, but it had to be just the two of them.

“That's great, I mean, even though it's only when the grandmother allows it, at least you can still see her, isn't it?” Susan commented.

“Yeah, I think that's great too,” Elizabeth said but looking straight at Robert. He clenched his jaw and looked away from her. All these days, in addition to thinking about her, he also thought about the meeting between her and her daughter, whether it had already happened or would still happen.

He wanted so badly to see Annie, and though he didn't agree with the deal, and thought it wouldn't be good for her to see her mother for such a short time, it hurt to think that they had see or would see each other and he wouldn't be around. But neither he nor his opinion mattered, she was the mother and she was the one who knew what was best. He thought bitterly.

“Well, I can't say that I know what that feeling is like but I believe it must be horrible to be away from your child,” she said and Elizabeth sympathized with her because she knew of her loss and could say Susan did understand what it felt like, but she wouldn't comment at all and neither did she look at Robert even though she knew he thought the same.

“Robert and I had no children, now it's too late for me but he may still have a chance to be a father. Don't you think about having children?” She asked them out of curiosity because she knew how Robert loved children and knew he would be a great father, although she was sure he could perform this role through Elizabeth's daughter if they could get her back, because she saw the sparkle in his eyes when he talked about the little girl earlier. But she ended up regretting the question when she saw their discomfort. There was something going on between them and she shouldn't have asked that kind of question.

“It's too late for me too, Susan,” he said. Elizabeth stared at him for a while and then had no choice but to respond just as coldly as he did.

“No, I don’t think about it. My priority is to have my daughter back.”

“Of course it's, I'm sorry it felt like I-”

“Don't worry, I understand your question,” Elizabeth said as she didn't want Susan to feel guilty thinking she had caused this mood between her and Robert. She should have left and let them talk about what they were probably talking about before she arrived. It was a bad idea to go there without calling first.

Susan was just waiting for a chance to make an excuse to leave since her conversation with Robert couldn't continue and mostly because she felt that he and Elizabeth needed to talk and that was probably why she had come there. Her opportunity came when once again the two of them seemed to secretly provoke each other.

“I should probably leave,” she said, getting up.

“No Susan, please. I'm the one who should go, I messed up your conversation,” Elizabeth getting up too, she was hating how she and Robert were behaving in front of his ex-wife. They were looking like two petulant children. Even Duck seemed to feel it and moved away from everyone, preferring the peace of his bed.

“I really need to go. Robert and I can talk later,” she said kindly and then addressed Robert, “Can I come to your office next week? I'll still be in town for a few more days,” she informed him and he nodded.

“Elizabeth, it was nice meeting you,” she said approaching her and this time there was no handshaking but kisses on both cheeks.

“Nice meeting you too, Susan,” she said with a sicere smile as they walked away. Despite the initial jealousy she couldn’t say it was unpleased to know her, she was a very nice woman and in no time provoked her. Just the moment this meeting took place wasn’t ideal. “Sorry for-” Elizabeth added but Susan cut her off.

“It’s is Ok,” Susan said and gave her a knowing smile, Elizabeth just nodded.

Robert then walked her to the door.

“Don't lose her, Robert,” Susan said quietly, as they were already at the door and before he could say anything she continued, “After all it's not any woman who can get along with your best friend,” she joked then and he smiled, shooking his head. Susan never missed the chance of provoked about Michael, but it wasn't annoyed him like it did when they were together. Sometimes it was very hard to him heard his then-wife and his best friend bad-mouthing each other.

“I'm sorry we didn't end our conversation.”

“We can talk about it another day. Now I believe you two need to talk,” she said and he nodded. They sure did. He was eager for this.

They said goodbye and then he returned to where Elizabeth was and the two of them didn't know where to start.

“I should have called earlier,” she broke the silence. “I shouldn't have showed up like this, disrupting your... encounter,” she said but not really intended to provoke him.

“This wasn't a date,” he said the word she thought of using but hesitated and then she turned a little red. “Susan is in town and needed professional help, which is why she came to me,” Robert promptly explained, not wanting her to think anything was happening before she arrived. Despite their argument he didn't want any misunderstanding and knowing her he knew what could go through her mind when seeing his ex-wife in his apartment.

“You didn't have to explain anything to me, Robert.”

“So why did you come here, Elizabeth?” He asked sharply, but that was not his intention.

“That was probably a mistake. I'm leaving.” She got up grabbing her purse and headed for the door but Robert quickly reached her and grabbed her arm, preventing her from going any further and turning her to face him.

“Robert let me go please,” she said, trying to pull her arm away, but he wasn't squeezing it, she could easily break free if she wanted to. “I better leave or we'll end up fighting again and that's not what I came here for,” Elizabeth said, pulling away of him and reaching for the door, but he stopped her again. He had waited many days for her to come to him and he wouldn't let her go like this, without settling things between them.

“And what did you come for?” He asked again but this time teasing her. He had pressed her between the door and his body and she could feel his hot breath on her face.

The tension between them was palpable since they saw each other for the first time after a few days apart and all she wanted to do right now was kiss him, but they needed to talk first.

“We need to talk,” she said, looking into his eyes and then to his lips. It was so tempting to postpone the conversation and just kiss him, it was so much easier if they understood without words and just let their bodies do what they were good at. She was almost choosing this option when he suddenly turned away from her. Of course, he wouldn't make it easy for her. You were wrong, Michael, she sighed.

“Okay, let's talk,” he said, turning back to the couch while she still leaned against the door, still thinking about their proximity. Robert looked back, waiting for her, and then Elizabeth stepped out and followed him, both sitting in silence.

It was a very awkward situation not knowing how to act in the presence of the other, and she was wishing she hadn't gone there. It didn't go as she planned, not that she thought it would be easy, but finding someone else there, not just anyone but his ex wife, seemed to change everything she had planned. She had gone confident and now she was wanting to hide and not have to talk to him. It was as if she were in front of someone unknown to her, someone she didn't know how to act around. But this was Robert, and she already knew him well despite such a short time, she shouldn't feel that way.

Leaving her insecurity aside she tried to start the conversation.

“I wanted-” she started but then her attention was drawn to something on the coffee table, something she hadn't noticed before. Two glasses of wine.

Robert noticed her distraction and followed her gaze to the two forgotten wine glasses. Just before Elizabeth arrived he had gone into the kitchen to change the bottle of wine he had chosen, Susan preferred white wine and he had taken to them red wine; Elizabeth's favorite. She even joked with him about how he had forgotten her preference in those few years apart. He then went back to the kitchen and when he heard the doorbell and thought it was Michael he decided to confirm the suspicion, leaving the bottle on the counter. And of course with Elizabeth's arrival he completely forgot about the wine. He would have to apologize to Susan later, though she probably understood his oblivion.

“Would you guys celebrate something?” She asked and now she was no longer insecure but annoyed at the thought of them both enjoying a wine and each other's company. She shouldn't feel that way, but it was stronger than her.

“I thought you said I didn't need to explain anything,” he teased her, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

Her blood boiled but she tried to hold back. “Of course you don't, you don't have to explain anything to me,” she said coldly. “I'm sorry I missed up your date with your ex,” now she was being sarcastic.

“Don't do this, Elizabeth,” Robert warned her, losing patience.

“What am I doing?”

“You’re trying to change the subject and get away from what you came here to do.”

“I think we have nothing to talk about. At least not for today,” she said and got up again to leave. They wouldn't get anywhere the way they were behaving towards each other and she would rather end the conversation right there.

“Don't think you're leaving like this,” and again he held her but this time not by the arm but pulling her to him. Robert would not miss the chance to have the conversation they had put off all week because he knew that if she left now, she would spend days to come back again.

“And what are you going to do to stop me?” Elizabeth challenged him, looking straight into his eyes, piercing his soul. That beatiful and fiercy eyes of her that he missed so much.

Robert bowed his head toward hers and Elizabeth closed her eyes in anticipation. He was going to do what she wanted to do when they were at the door.

“That's what you want, isn't it?” She opened her eyes and stared at him, confused. “You want me to kiss you and then you can escape our conversation.”

“You idiot,” she snapped angrily and tried to get rid of him. “Let me go, Robert!” He was holding her around the waist and his grip was now firmer and it would be hard for her to escape him.

“Ok, I'll let you go if that's what you want,” No, that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to stay exactly where she was, but she wanted him to stop teasing her and kissing her like he should have done before.

He wouldn't make it easy for her, but she could make it hard for him too. Two can play that game.

Elizabeth put a hand up to his neck, scratched the back of his neck with her nails, just as he liked it, and bit her own lower lip. Robert knew what she was doing and knew he couldn't resist her. She knew how to drive him crazy.

“That's a low blow,” he murmured before claiming her mouth, giving her no chance to retort. His lips crushed hers in a passionate and hungry kiss.

Elizabeth melted into his arms like butther on hot bread, responding to the kiss with the same fervor as him. That was what she wanted, she wanted him from the moment she laid eyes on him again. A week away from each other was too much, and her body had the same urgency as the conversation they were supposed to be having. And apparently his body felt the same way.

They were missing each other physically as well. Breaking the kiss to breath he looked into her eyes and needed no words for them to know what they should do.

Their conversation would have to wait for later.

Picking her up and laying her down on the sofa, Robert wasted no time getting rid of all their clothes and shoes. He kissed her neck and lowered his lips to her breasts and knew how ready she was for him, both were ready for each other. He wouldn't tease, he wouldn't linger to caress her, their bodies were clamoring for each other and he would no longer delay the reconnection of their bodies. They needed it, they needed to feel each other in every way possible.

Elizabeth’s head thrown back as Robert slid into her fully and she sighed deeply. She welcomed him, tightening her walls around his shaft and Robert felt like he was coming home after days away. It was where he belonged.

“I missed it so much,” she mumbled and looked at him, Robert kissed her and then pulled away from her body and lifted her right leg over his shoulder. The new angle made him hit deeper and it made her moan loud. Elizabeth felt him completely inside her, filling her both physically and emotionally. She could feel Robert all over her body, filling not only her core but her soul as well.

“I missed being here too,” Robert said and thrust into her even harder. He would like to spend time worshiping her body, but not now. Now he wanted to feel and make her feel what all these days apart did to him. Their bodies were hungry for each other and he would satisfy that hunger quickly. He placed his palm on her abdomen to steady her in place and his other hand caressed her leg as he kissed and lightly nipped her inner thigh.

Elizabeth wanted to touch him too but he was out of her reach so she paid attention to her breasts; squeezing them and pinching her erect nipples. Seeing her do this aroused Robert even more and he hastened his thrusts. A thin layer of sweat was already forming on his back and forehead as well as Elizabeth's. He didn't resist and bent down to lick the sweat between her breasts to her neck. His change position made her leg bend painfully almost close to her face and it made Robert's cock hit even deeper if that were possible. She felt some pain but the pleasure was soo good. Without his hand holding her in place she could find his thrusts and their bodies moved in perfect sync. Elizabeth took advantage of his proximity to touch him, scratching her nails across the back of his neck and back. He kept kissing her neck until he placed his forehead against hers and she opened her eyes to look at him. They stayed like that, staring at each other until Robert's thrusts began to get erratic.

“I'm almost there,” he said breathlessly. "I need you to come with me, baby,” he begged and she didn't know how much she missed him calling her by a pet name until that moment. Elizabeth, knowing that she wouldn't long before she fell into that abyss with him as well, reached down between them and touched her clit. Robert grunted and kissed her fiercely. His thrusts were desperate as was their kiss and a few more touches, both reached the expected orgasm and moaned into each other's mouths. He kept thrusting into her as he swallowed every Elizabeth’s moan, he could feel the vibrations in his throat.

Gradually the adrenaline slowed down and their bodies calming down. Robert released Elizabeth's leg — her muscles were aching but she didn't care, it was a welcome pain — and she wrapped it around his waist, indicating him to stay in place, she wanted to feel him inside her for a little longer. He placed kisses on her face as she stroked his hair. Minutes later she opened her eyes to look at him.

“It seems like so long ago the last time we did that,” she commented. “Why do we take so long to do this again?” She asked, touching his cheek.

“Maybe because you took so long to come here?” He answered and kissed her palm. Now Elizabeth knew it was time to them to have that conversation.

At least after their bodies talked to each other, this other conversation would be easier. Sighing, she made a move to get up and he got off her. They would probably leave the couch a mess but neither of them seemed to care about it now. There was more important matter than a stain on the couch.

“I guess we'd better get dressed, don't you?” Elizabeth said, looking at them and smiling. Robert nodeed and looked around for their clothes, he had thrown all over the room, so he spotted his t-shirt and caught it, handing to her. Elizabeth before putting on his t-shirt brought it to her face, inhaling his scent, it would be nice to have his clothes covering her body, it would make her comfortable to talk to. Robert, finding his boxers and dressing it, returned to sit next to her.

Elizabeth was sitting with her legs tucked under her while playing with the hem of her t-shirt. They were silent but now not as uncomfortable as before.

He could forget about their conversation, after all they had already understood each other otherwise. But he found it important to talk about what happened and make Elizabeth realized that what hurt him the most wasn't her accepting Mrs. Johnson's offer but the way she talked to him, discarding him completely. They needed to talk about it and make things clear between them.

“I'm all ears,” he joked but he spoke seriously.

“So ...” she tried, and he looked at her expectantly for her to continue. “Well, I really wish I had come before, Robert,” she began. “I didn't mean to take so long to solve it but at the same time I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how you would react after that day. You didn't call me and-”

“You know it was you who should do it, Liz,” he said but not harshly. At least he had now called her Liz again, she'd missed that since she arrived at his apartment. Hearing him call her Elizabeth had bother her, because it sounded so cold.

“I know. Of course I know” she said, looking down at her hands. “But I really thought you would call me, you know… but I knew the right thing was for me to approach you. And I did it. I went to your office, but you weren't there.”

“When did you go?” He questioned. He waited every day for her to maybe go there and didn't believe she went but his secretary didn't warn him. Maybe if he had known that, he would have called her later, since she would have taken the first step.

“The other day, when I meet Michael,” Elizabeth replied.

"You said you two meet at a bookstore.” He was clueless.

“That was a lie, I didn't want to say in front of Susan that I had gone to your office. In fact I didn't even get into the building because as I was approaching I saw you get into a taxi,” she explained.

“And why didn't you call me?”

“You were with someone, probably some client or colleague, and I wouldn't disturb that.”

“Oh!” He now remembered what day she was talking about and thought of the irony of being Susan in the taxi with him. When he asked the secretary to let the person in, he thought it was Elizabeth, but his surprise was even greater when his ex-wife entered his office.

They hadn't seen each other in years, and he could never imagine that she was the one who wanted to talk to him. As they hadn't had lunch yet they decided to go somewhere to eat and talk. If he had known that within minutes he would have met Elizabeth, he would have stayed, but she would have found his ex-wife with him. It seems they were meant to meet each other anyway, he thought.

“I guess it wasn't meant to be,” she shrugged.

“So you meet Michael after that?”

“When I was leaving, he saw me, he was also going to talk to you. Then we decided to go talk somewhere.”

“That wasn't a bookstore?”

“No, it wasn't,” she replied with a half laugh. “We went to a café nearby.”

“It's unbelievable that he didn't tell me anything. We talked yesterday and he didn't even talk about it. He'll pay for this,” Robert said jokingly.

“I asked him not to tell you, Robert.” She didn't want him to be upset about his friend hiding it from his.

“Why?”

“Because since I couln'd meet you I didn't want you to know that I had gone there, I wanted to leave that for another day.”

“And now you're here,” he said, smiling and squeezing her knee.

“Yeah. Finally,” she returned his smile.

“I-I need to apologize to you.” Elizabeth then turned her gaze to her hands.

“I was so stupid,” she looked at him again but Robert waited for her to continue. “I shouldn't have talked to you like that, you were just being rational and thinking of the right thing to do and I was stupid with you. I'm sorry, I know I hurt you.” Robert couldn't help himself, he put his hand on her cheek and brushed them lovingly. Elizabeth closed her eyes briefly, enjoying his affection.

“You must have been so mad at me,” she said and he took his hand away her face.

“I did,” Robert said honestly and she nodded in understanding. He wasn't going to hide how hurt he was, they were finally talking and they both needed to be honest and say everything that had to be said.

“I understand, I got mad at myself too,” she sighed.

“But I was hurt not only because you said I was a nobody,” she closed her eyes when he said that, it still hard to believe she had spoken to him like that, and hearing him repeat it, she realized how it hurt him because it hurt her as well.

“I know you said it in the heat of the moment, I know you always do it,” he ended up smiling and it made her smile too, because he already knew her. “But what really hurt me was realizing that ...” he paused. “I'm not part of Annie's life,” Robert then said and she didn't know why but it broke her heart in so many ways hearing him say that.

“Robert ...” She tried but he continued.

“There's nothing wrong with that, you're her mother and you have to make the decisions, I as your lawyer have to respect your decision even if I don't agree. But it still hurt to feel left out.”

“Robert, please forgive me,” she said, moving closer. Elizabeth now realized what she had done, how wrong she had been, and how it hurt her to see him feel that she had left him out of Annie's life; the girl he had loved since he firt met her.

“I’m really sorry.” She held his hands in hers. Robert brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, keeping it there for a while and looking at her, she knew that was the sign that he had forgiven her.

“I never meant to hurt you Robert, I really said that without thinking and I also never wanted to make you feel like you weren't part of her life. Just like me, you want the best for her, and I'm so grateful about it, because I know she has someone besides me who cares a lot about her too.” she said honestly, looking deep into his eyes.

“You're important to me as well as to her,” Elizabeth added in a lower tone and then kissed his hand too.

Robert was really surprised and also happy to hear her say that, not just apologizing — it wasn't that important anymore, since the most important thing was that she reached out to him and they made up — but also telling him that he was important to her and to her daughter. That was always what he wanted; to be part of their lives, no matter that Annie wasn't there, she would always be part of his life.

“Thank you for saying that,” Robert managed to say and kissed her temple affectionately he then leaned his forehead on hers and added, “She is also very important to me. You both are,” he stroke her cheek.

“I know,” she said, kissing his thumb. “I know you love her and I'm happy for that.” He cupped her face and kissed her. He really missed how it felt to kissed her.

“Did you see her? How is she?” He then asked, now curious to finally know what their reunion had been like.

“I didn't see her.” He raised an eyebrow in confusion, because he was sure she had seen her daughter, she wouldn't have wasted time.

“Haven't you arranged the day to see her yet?” Elizabeth shook her head no. He was incredulous.

“The next day I called Mrs. Johnson but that was to say I wouldn't accept her offer.” That had been hard for Elizabeth, but as soon as Robert left she didn't stop thinking about it and realized that the proposal would have no benefit for Annie, it would only bring her pain every time she had to say goodbye to her mother. She was too young to understand the situation of just having to see her mother for a few hours and then going back to her grandparents' house. Elizabeth couldn't subject her daughter to that, and as much as it hurt her to miss the chance to see her little girl, she had to admit to herself that Robert was right. That was absurd and she was just being used by Lynette.

“I didn't want that to happen, Liz. It wasn't my intention-” she cut him off.

“No, you were right Robert, as much as I didn't want to accept it, you were right. It wouldn't be good for her to see me in the conditions her grandmother proposed. I didn't realize it at the time like you did, I just thought of myself, how I was getting a chance to see my daughter and not thinking it wouldn't be good for her. If I had not been stubborn, I would have listened to you and none of this would have happened. You saw the situation better than me. I was selfish,” she finished, her eyes watering and Robert lamented that she had to give up the proposal. He knew it was right but he hated to see her like this, and he hated Mrs. Johnson even more to have done that, which caused both their fight and Elizabeth to give up seeing her daughter.

“Liz...” he began, lifting her chin so he could look at her again. “You acted on a mother's instinct, it was normal for you not to see the situation as I did at the time and to have acted without thinking. There's nothing selfish about it, you just wanted to see your little girl,” he comforted her, caressing her face again. Robert had already realized that in situations of stress, sadness or nervousness, she always became calm and confident when he touched her, he could feel she relax under his touch.

“Mrs. Johnson is the only one wrong, she shouldn't have done that, she should have thought of her granddaughter before proposing something absurd to you. But maybe if we talk to her and her husband again, maybe we can get a deal that's really good for Annie and for you.”

“I tried to talk to her, but she said I gave up on my only chance and they wouldn't give me another one.” When she called Mrs. Johnson, informing her of her new decision, the woman was surprised by her withdrawal and said that maybe it had been better this way, that it would be better for her granddaughter not to see her anymore and that Annie would be well with them.

Elizabeth sensed that she was implying that she was giving up on her daughter, but she stood firm in her decision because she knew that even though it was very difficult for her, she was doing the best for Annie for now.

Once again Robert felt a surge of anger at Lynette, she shouldn't play with people like that.

“Come here,” Robert lifted his arm inviting her to lay her head on his shoulder. “We'll find a way to reverse it and bring Annie back,” he stated and kissed her head.

“I'm sure you will, I know how committed you are to it. Even finding her father you tried,” she then blurted it out.

“How did you know that?” He asked and then remembered her meeting with his friend. “Michael!” He answered it himself. Elizabeth lifted her head to look at him again.

“Don't be mad at him, we were talking and he ended up telling me it.”

“I would tell you about that Liz, but as it came to nothing, I thought I'd better not say anything,” he explained.

“I know, don't worry. Michael told me all this, and I understand why you didn't tell me, I would be hopeful and it would come to nothing, even though Leigh told the truth when she said Annie's father had died, I would be wondering that maybe he was alive and could help us.”

“Or he might want her custody too, that was a possibility,” he said and she nodded. “If he was alive I would let you decide if we were going to look for him or not.”

“And of course we would. If Annie's father were alive, even at the risk of him wanting to be with her, I couldn't help but look for him, he would be entitled to know about her, and she to met him.” Robert knew she was right and would expect nothing different from her.

“You guys talked a lot about me then,” Robert eventually changed the subject, he didn't want to see her upset anymore and was curious to know how her meeting with his friend had been.

“Do you think you're our only subject?” Elizabeth joked, smiling again. “But you're right, we really talked about you, I mean, as he knew about our fight we ended up talking about it and he made me realize, even more, how stupid I was with you.”

“I hope he has not told you anything stupid. I talked briefly about what happened but gave him no details.”

“He didn't. Our conversation was very good, he cares about you but he understood me too, even though I was rude to his best friend,” she gave him a shy guilty smile. “He was nice to me,” she completed.

“He really adores you. That's why he didn't tell me about your meeting. Looks like you're really stealing my friend from me, Elizabeth Mackenzie,” he joked, making her laugh again. That laugh, Robert had missed it too.

“And I am not ashamed of that,” she teased. “But I was glad to hear that he kept his promise, he was so excited for us to make up, that I thought he wouldn't hold back and tell you that I went after you, not that there would be a problem, but I wanted to come here, I owed you that.”

“It was a pity we couldn't meet, we could have made up sooner, although it wouldn't be the same as here,” Robert raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“I think coming here was much better,” she said and gave him a quick kiss on his lips, and when she looked up at him again she noted his malicious look and realized he was probably thinking about her words “coming here” because yes, she just had coming exatly where they were sitting right now. She blushed but decided not to say anything.

“That day you were leaving with a client?” Elizabeth then asked curiously.

“We can say so. It was Susan with me in the taxi,” he said as if it were unimportant but saw the surprise on Elizabeth's face.

“Don't start thinking bullshit, we just went out to eat something and talk about a problem she's having and asked for my help.”

“I'm not thinking anything,” she defended herself. “It's normal to your ex-wife show up in your office, you go out together, then she come to your apartment and you guys have wine together,” she said and pointed to the glasses of wine. “There's nothing weird about that,” she said dismissively, but Robert knew better.

“I know very well what you mean and you don't have to be jealous. Susan and I are friends, we can say that, although we don't keep in touch and she really just came looking for me for professional help,” he explained. “Besides we were about to have wine but we got interrupted,” he teased, correcting her and Elizabeth just shrugged.

“Just so you know, I'm not jealous,” she stated.

“I happen to know you and I know when you're jealous.” He squeezed her sides teasingly.

“You're pretty wrong," she tried to sound serious but smiled and made him stop pinching her. “I was just curious about why she was here, but you already told me and I saw no problem with that.”

“You look beautiful when you lie, you know,” he teased and kissed her cheek.

“But then, are you going to be her lawyer?” She asked, ignoring his comment.

“See? Jealousy detected, I knew. You look very adorable,” he kept teasing and she rolled her eyes.

“I'm serious Robert.”

“No, I won't be her lawyer. You know she's living in another city, and she's only in New York to sort out a few things, so she came to me. She's looking for a lawyer, and she came to ask me for a referral. I know a lot of lawyers in Seattle,” Robert explained.

“Is she going through some problem?” She asked with interest.

“Not so serious. She's suing a construction company and her lawyer doesn't seem to solve the problem, so she took advantage of being in town to ask for my help with a new one. And of course we ended up talking about other topics as well. You know we broke up in good terms, Liz, we didn't keep in touch, but since she came to New York and we meet we've been talking about what happened to our current lives. No big deal.”

“I understand Robert, I really do.” She wouldn't lie and say she wasn't jealous when she saw the two of them together, but he was right, they split on good terms so it was obvious that they could hold a conversation like two old friends.

“And I really hope you can help her with a new lawyer and she can solve this problem,” Elizabeth said truthfully and he nodded. He already had the name of a good lawyer in Seattle and would give the contact to Susan, but with Elizabeth's unexpected arrival they had to leave it for another day.

“She liked you,” he said suddenly and she reacted in surprise.

“We barely had time to meet, Robert.”

“But it was long enough for her to know who you're. I know she liked you.”

“It wasn't so bad to meet her. I think I like to meet her,” she admitted. “I thought I would only know about her by hearing about her, but it wasn't bad. I confess I was curious to know what she looked like, and I could see how totally different she is from me. She's an interesting and beautiful woman.”

“That she is,” Robert agreed with her and Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “I meant about her being different from you. But you're interesting and beautiful too,” he clarified. “And wonderful. And funny,” she smiled and Robert kissed her.

“Um,” she murmured in his mouth. “I just don't know why she and Michael don't get along,” Elizabeth commented as she break away.

“Well, she unlike you didn't have the sense of humor to take his jokes so well, they treated each other cordially when needed, but that's all. You saw her reaction when I said I thought it was Mike who had arrived,” he said and smiled and so did Elizabeth.

“She really can't stand him. But it seems to me that it's reciprocal for what he told me about her.”

“I can even guess what he said,” he laughed. “So I'm glad you guys got along, one more girlfriend hating my best friend would be very unlucky,” he teased, stroking her hair.

“You're really lucky to have me,” she said, looking at him smugly.

“Well, I never denied that,” he agreed and then pulled her close, kissing her.

“But what do you think about we stop talking about them?” Robert proposed after released her mouth.

“I think it's a great idea,” Elizabeth said and then kissed him again, straddling his lap. Robert's hands instinctively went under her t-shirt to squeeze her bare ass, making her moan into his mouth.

“Robert,” she said after stopping kissing him and when she got his attention she continued, “I don't want that to happen again,” he looked at her confused, his head was already spinning.

“I don't want us to fight like that again,” she clarified.

“Me neither, Liz,” Robert said, stroking her thighs. “But that happens in every relationship, it's impossible to know that this will be our first and last discussion.”

“Even more because I say things on impulse, isn't it?” She acknowledged and he nodded, both smiling.

“But we can promise not to take so long to sit and talk.”

“Yes, I won't do as I did, I won't pretend it's okay when it isn't and postpone the conversation. We're not going to sleep one night mad at each other, promise?” He nodded and then kissed her.

They knew they might not be able to keep that promise because no one knows about the future and when they might have another fight, some more serious, but they would commit to solving their problems without waiting for each other to take the first step. If they had any disagreements they would settle together without delay. It was a silent promise they both made.

“At least there was a good thing about it,” Robert said as he broke the kiss.

“I didn't see anything good about it,” she frowned.

“Our reconciliation. Wasn't that good?” He asked and squeezed her ass and she gave a mischievous smile.

“You have a point,” Elizabeth said, rubbing herself against his groin. “You showed me how much you missed me, now it's my turn, Robert,” she said, biting his lower lip.

“And how are you going to do that?”

“Making you beg me to stop,” she replied and that alone was enough to get him completely ready for her to do to him whatever she wanted to. Elizabeth claimed his mouth once more and prepared herself, she would ride him until they had no strength left. Her body still had need for his and she would spend all weekend showing him that. She had made a mistake but she was fixing it in more ways than one.

Later that night, after ordering food and drinking the wine Robert had left in the kitchen and after making love again — this time slowly, both mapping each other's bodies and rediscovering each spot as if it were the first time — Elizabeth could hear the sound of the rain falling outside the bedroom window, probably one of the last rains of that month, she thought as she was laying in Robert's arms. That sound alone and the caresses he was doing on her hair would make her sleep, but there was still something on her mind.

They had talked, opened their hearts to each other but there was something she hadn't said to him yet, something she felt for some time but had never said out loud. She never had a doubt about that feeling, she was just both surprised and scared at how fast it grew inside her, overwhelming her, asking to come out but she always holding back as if she was still afraid to put it out.

But she didn't feel that way anymore, after this time away from Robert, she could realize the extent of that feeling and how important it was to her.

Elizabeth tried to fool herself, but she couldn't do that for long. Lying there in his arms, her cheek resting against his chest, listened to his heartbeat and knowing it was beating for her, she had no doubt that this was where she belonged now. It took her a long time to feel it again; if she ever felt it, but she felt like she belonged to someone and it didn't make her feel overwhelmed, trapped, feeling less like her. It didn't make her any different from who she was, and Elizabeth believed that this was what it was to love someone completely. After her daughter, Robert was the most important person in her life and she wouldn't lost it again.

“I thought you were asleep,” Robert said as she took a deep breath, snuggling closer to him and stroking her fingers through the thick hair of his chest.

“Not yet,” she mumbled into his chest.

“Are you thinking about something?” She nodded. “And can I know about what?” He joked, still combing his fingers through her hair.

Elizabeth then kissed his chest and lifted her head to look at him. Robert always got lost in those eyes, those blue eyes that often reminded him of the sea and called him for a swim and to know its depths. He smiled at her and caressed her face. She leaned her head into his hand then turned her face and pressed her lips into his palm. Looking into his eyes, she also returned his smile.

“I love you.”

And there it was, the three words she had been feeling for a long time but not yet allowed to come out of her mouth.

Till now.

Robert gave her a smile so big that she thought he had been waiting for her to say that for a long time. He cupped her face with both hands and tilted it up to him, kissing her affectionately. He was really surprised at what she just said. He could never imagine that was what was going through her mind. When he looked into her eyes he knew she was going to tell him something important, just didn't imagine it was what he wanted so much to hear from her.

“Did I hear right?” He joked, still with that big, beautiful smile on his face. Elizabeth kissed him all over the face, punctuating each kiss with a sweet I love you.

“And now, did I make myself clear?” She asked, her lips curled into a smile. She was happy to see him like that, just because her say that. He nodded his head.

“So you can wipe that silly smile off your face,” Elizabeth teased.

“I don't think I'll ever could,” Robert replied with a boyish smile. “I really wanted to hear that.” And then he kissed her again. He didn't imagine his day would end this way, with Elizabeth finally in his arms again and saying that she loved him. Breaking the kiss he looked at her. He was staring at her longingly. He had missed her so much, missed everything about her.

“I love you too, Liz. I love you so much,” Robert then stated, and though she didn't expect to hear the words back — for he always made that clear in all his actions and she could feel it — Elizabeth felt her heart beat faster as hearing him say that he loved her too. She felt butterflies in her stomach and realized how it was something she had wanted to hear for some time too and a bright smile had appeared on her face.

After sealing his statement with a sweet, lingering kiss, Elizabeth returned to her starting position, safe in his arms. What she missed most while they were apart — besides his presence — was to sleep next to Robert, feeling the warmth of his body eveloping her, his strong arms around her, his scent invading her senses, and sleeping listening to his heart. She had never been a person who needed someone sleeping next to her and hadn't had the company of someone in her bed for a long time, but since Robert came into her life, it was as if only his presence could give her a peaceful and safe sleep. Being there with him right now was like almost everything in her life was in its place.

Still hearing the rain hitting the window and the beat of his heart, she was lulled to a peaceful night's sleep; unlike the previous nights and before she could completely fall asleep she heard him mutter I love you against her hair, she smiled and then finally fell asleep.

Yes, almost everything was in its place.

#i really don't know if anyone here still reads this fic #but I will keep posting here anyway #;)#fanfic #crossed lives fic #parkenzie

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