frustrating thing about any game with dichotomous endings is everyone wants to think that their ending is the more correct one when typically (if the writing is good) it’ll be more like both endings should be coherent within the narrative and how we arrive at the ending we get with the reasons and intentions is what’s interesting, and fun to pick apart. compare and contrast! how do these two endings intertwine, how do they play off each other. parallel stories are running in video games and they’re always in conversation with each other if the writing is well done, in a way that don’t work in any other medium for storytelling and it’s so so so fun.
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(More thoughts and drafting! Some weird formatting I know but it was all one block in my notes)
Emma is doing just fine. Average. It’s really not so bad.
She’s just been dealing with a lot of change. And with too many things not changing.
Which is… an odd thing to struggle with.
Because she likes hange. Daunting challenges. The unpredictable. Doing new things every day and never being scared of them. And she likes independence.
She had thought so, at least.
After the show, she had been hit in the face with just how… isolated she was. She had only had two friends before the first season, but she had left them behind. Her mother wasn’t doing the best, and she didn’t have any nearby family.
She found herself laying in her bed in the middle of the day most of the time, scrolling through her contacts and old conversations.
Or scrolling through her comments on TikTok.
A few weeks ago, she had tried some stunt involving a motorcycle and an inflatable pool. She probably wouldn’t have messed it up if her hands weren’t trembling.
(She had forgot to check the breaks, and wasn’t sure if they were working.)
(They were.)
The blood dripping down her face and the gash in her lip didn’t sting as much as it did watching the video.
She looked ridiculous, and she probably always did. It was better when she had someone else to do it with. Maybe she was losing her touch.
She didn’t post the video.
She turned back to dancing instead, which did feel less embarassing, despite the constant mocking feedback. Sure, the jokes were “funny”, but she didn’t care about any of it. She didn’t feel the rush, she wasn’t planning every day, and she wasn’t known or loved for anything.
Except for what she lost.
And, the show, to an extent.
-Ugh, she misses the show. She shouldn’t, but as stupid as it sounds, she missed doing crazy things and talking to people. Having a chance of winning. Beating everyone. Being cheered on. It wasn’t always great, but at least it was something. She misses doing something.
And she really misses Bowie. She missed Bowie, but she knows better than anyone that she can’t go back to that. They just- have better things to do now. He probably does.
He’s got Raj- which is great! And she’s happy for him! She’s happy for everyone. For Wayne, however he’s doing, for Julia, despite everything.
And Caleb. For having Priya.
Emma is jealous that Bowie gets to have someone.
Emma is jealous that everyone else gets to have someone.
Emma is jealous that, unlike everyone else, winning the show probably wouldn’t have made her any happier.
She isn’t sure what would.
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this is a hyperspecific work struggle i won’t lie but. the combo of having adhd + being the only person w a cs background is so.
i keep getting like coding tasks (usually asking me to automate some analysis or another that someone’s doing by hand in excel), and then finishing them like way faster than anyone’s expecting (bc i work Fast when i like what im doing like i slide into the Zone and the rest of the world stops existing until i finish it). and then i have this awkward start-stop of it all while they figure out the next thing for me to work on (hence why i’ve been on here All Day)
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*corroded flowers universe*
Steve: babe quick, Ferrari or twingo?
Eddie:…?? Ferrari I Guess
Steve: perfect. Rolex or Casio?
Eddie: Rolex… wait, is this for a gift?
Steve: of course not. Now, team Shakira or team Pique?
Eddie: Shakira, what the fuck is a Pique?
Steve: I’ve never been more attracted to you.
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