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#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience
kaylazer · 25 days
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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hxseok-honee · 3 years
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atlas heart || part 25
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a/n : so sorry it took so long getting this update out !! i had a disgusting amount of work to do and i really was not doing anything else for a few days -- i really hope you like it!! pls lmk what you think about things now that jimin (and we) know everything! its gonna get,,,, i wanna say messy but messys not even enough to cover how messy its gonna get
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Jimin can’t remember the last time he’d closed his eyes for more than a few minutes. Time goes by so fast these days that he’s partially convinced he’s been falling asleep and not realizing it. The hours between class and dinner every day are spent in the library, his headphones shoved into his ears haphazardly while he tunnel visions onto what’s been in the back of his mind since the beginning of the year.
Those spare hours had turned into days and days into weeks -- weekends where he doesn’t even glance at his phone, unaware of the growing concern of his friends. It’s almost May now, the chill of early spring having melted away around him without him realizing. His schoolwork stopped being a priority ages ago, and he knows his grades are really taking the hit for it. He vaguely remembers Namjoon confronting him one night some time ago -- a week? Two weeks ago? -- but he can’t for the life of him recall the contents of that conversation. Something about hating to play the ‘prefect card’, but having no choice. He doesn’t even know if he’s still on the quidditch team. It doesn’t matter -- nothing matters when seeing everything with the perspective he’s got now.
Practically buried in scrolls and books, Jimin could care less about the time and the fact that he’s very obviously breaking curfew right now -- the library’s been empty for hours now, and the light outside the window has well past faded into pitch black darkness. He had to hide from Pince around 10pm, barely managing to catch the click of the librarian’s heels through the music blasting in his headphones to keep him concentrated -- it’s a miracle that she hadn't caught him, really. He’d never be able to focus properly back in his room, not when he’s this close to putting the pieces together.
It’s there, right there, everything scattered in his brain. He knows it’s sitting right in front of him, he can feel himself trying to hyperfocus on anything that can blatantly tell him what he needs to know. Flipping through the pages of a book with one hand and shuffling through scrolls with his other, he glances down at a scrap of paper with his own handwriting, chicken-scratch on a ripped up piece of parchment for him to refer back to every few minutes. There, in black ink, the words ‘vampire’ and ‘veela’ are written and then, later, crossed out. There’s one below it -- ‘maledictus’ -- that remains uncrossed and haunts his every thought.
For the better half of the week, he’d spent his nights scouring the bookshelves for any text he could find on blood malediction -- there isn’t much to show for his efforts. Too rare a condition to have any extensive research done, he could barely manage to put together a few measly scrolls and one book with less than a full chapter on the subject. Sighing heavily, Jimin leans back in his chair, rubbing at his temples while he reconsiders the information for what feels like the hundredth time.
It fits the fact that she has a blood condition… but it’s not right. There’s no mention of a potion or even of regularly experiencing sickness. Y/n is in the Hospital Wing like once a month. There wouldn’t be anything Pomfrey or Hoseok could do to help her if she was a maledictus…
He considers that maybe those things are part of blood malediction and that there just isn’t enough documentation for him to verify it. But there’s something nagging at him, telling him this isn’t right. He thinks back over everything he knows, trying to pull up the major details that could help him finally get some sleep. Ignoring the fact that he very well could doze off, even with his loud ass music, he lets his eyes close so he can think. It takes a few minutes, but eventually he’s sitting up in his seat, eyes wide as he recalls something said to him almost months ago, forgotten amidst everything else on his mind.
“What’s the deal with your roommate, Tae?”
“Who, Stephen?”
“No, not fuckin’ Stephen -- Jungkook!”
“Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?”
“Because Stephen doesn’t look at me like I’m the bane of his existence.”
“Yeah… I don’t know what you did to make Jeon Jungkook hate you, but it must have be serious--”
“Just tell me what you know about him, Tae.”
“I mean… nothing crazy, really -- an only child, comes from old money. Probably as old as the Malfoys or the Potters. His family’s the purest of purebloods. And always Gryffindors, just like the Malfoys are always Slytherins. It’s kind of nuts, having a family history like that.”
Jimin stumbles out of his chair, already making his way down the aisles of bookshelves, almost crazed with concentration.
Purest of purebloods -- there’s not a single pureblood family that isn’t documented in a registry… registry… regis-- aha!
Turning down an aisle designated for family registries dating back centuries, he scans the shelves at a lightening speed, finally coming to a halt in front of a tome titled Gryffindor Legacies. Hauling it from the shelf, he doesn’t even bother returning to his table, taking a seat right there on the floor.
Flipping straight to the back to search for the family name, he locates it easily and heads to appropriate page. Searching the family tree down generations, it takes him several pages of flipping through Jungkook’s ancestors’ lives to finally get to his parents. They’re the most recent entry -- new editions of the book are printed with each new generation, the original, handwritten copy belonging to the respective families. It’s an inefficient system for sure, but Jimin’s not exactly complaining when he’s the one benefiting directly.
Scanning the page, from the birth of his mother -- Jeon Eunha -- to her school days, from her marriage to his father all the way to Jungkook’s birth. Jimin expects the next part to follow the same structure of his mother’s story, recounting his childhood, but it diverges from that almost immediately with some extra lines that he almost feels don’t exist in the original copy at the Jeon family residence.
Not long after the birth of their first and only child, they were met with circumstances leading to the adoption and care of another, the recently orphaned infant girl, Y/n Y/l/n. In her days at Hogwarts, young Eunha had become friends with a female Ravenclaw student, who had a noticeably sickly pallor about her at all times. She was to become her closest lifelong friend. The same night in which Y/l/n was to give birth to her first child, she and her husband met an untimely fate in the form of a violent animal attack in the backyard of their own home. The Jeon family were the first to arrive at the premises, deciding immediately to take in the infant child and raise her alongside their own son. Not much else is known about the girl, only that she and the Jeon heir were to become inseparable.
Jimin stares down at the page, unblinking. There’s a lot of information to process, but the things that stand out most to him are the fact that Y/n’s mother was also apparently afflicted with the same illness as Y/n, and --
‘Violent animal attack’? I knew the car accident thing was bullshit, but… did her mom not even die in childbirth? Why would she not tell me… there’s nothing suspicious about an animal atta--
Almost like his brain has started to short-circuit after the long nights and lack of sleep, Jimin’s thoughts are gone instantly, replaced by the mental image of a book sitting not a even a few aisles away, on a table littered with all of the information he’d ever needed in the first place. He’s completely incapable of registering anything around him as he races back to his table, his mind flipping incomprehensibly between the information in front of him and all of the pieces of his memories, details that make too much sense in this moment to match anything but this one conclusion.
Most Muggles, however, will die from the extent of their injuries… all known instances of Muggle attacks have been portrayed in the media as ‘animal attacks’ so as to preserve the secrecy of the wizarding world…
Given the extent of the available research and data, collected almost entirely from male subjects afflicted with lycanthropy, not much is known about the hereditary components related to a female werewolf. Therefore, it is unknown if a pregnant female werewolf's transformations would affect the ability to carry the pregnancy to term…
Without any humans nearby to attack, or other animals to occupy it, the werewolf will attack itself out of frustration…
“My mom died in childbirth and my dad… just a… just a freak accident you know, no one’s fault or anything…”
Because werewolves only pose a danger to humans, companionship with animals whilst transformed has been known to make the experience more bearable as the werewolf has no-one to harm and will be less willing to harm themselves…
“You want to talk about forbidden, Jeon? Let’s talk about your illegal animagus status-”
The way one must imbibe it is very unique among potions, in that a goblet full of wolfsbane potion must be taken each day for a week preceding the full moon…
“…you know how long it takes me to make a full set of vials for you. I barely have enough to make it last 3 days…”
The monthly transformation of a werewolf is extremely painful if untreated and is usually preceded and succeeded by a few days of pallor and ill health…
“He was lowkey carrying her down the stairs… she looked kinda sick actually…”
Throwing scrolls behind him without care as he searches for the one with the final detail, he pulls his phone out when he finds it -- a book listing all of the recorded moon cycles for over a century. Jamming his thumb down on the icon that’ll take him to his search engine and typing with blind panic, he finds himself yanking out his headphones by the cord with one sharp tug when the answer flashes back at it him on the screen, and he realizes that almost all of the pieces are in place.
The quidditch match against Slytherin -- it was the night before a full moon.
“No, no… no, no, no, this can’t be right. This isn’t happening, this can’t be right, she can’t be--” Jimin remembers the text he’d sent to her almost 8 hours ago, sitting unanswered, and he moves without thinking. Slamming his hands down on either side of the moon cycle record, he flips frantically to the cycle for this current month, April of 1978. What he sees there has his heart dropping out of his chest.
“Next week? It’s next week? But that means she’d have to be feeling the effects of it this wee--” He’s cut off by the feeling of his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he reaches for it almost desperately. It’s Y/n, finally responding to his concerned texts with nothing more than a single line. His blood turns to ice when he reads it.
I’m fine, just feeling under the weather.
--
When Jimin bursts through the door of Dumbledore’s office just past 3am, the headmaster’s already seated at his desk, evidently waiting for him. He’s donning a light blue robe with a matching sleeping cap perched delicately on his head, suggesting to Jimin that he’d somehow woken up knowing he was soon to greet a guest. All of the panic invading Jimin’s body is masked just slightly by guilt, only now realizing how late it is and how intrusive he must seem in this moment.
“Mister Park, you certainly are out quite a bit past curfew, no?” Jimin stands in the doorway cradling all of the scrolls and books he’d been hoarding the last few weeks -- he can’t very well have left a huge pile of evidence back in the library. It would have taken no time at all for someone to look through it and see there were connections everywhere to lycanthropy, even if he himself had been blind to it for so long.
“... Park? Mister Park?” Jimin jumps, lifting his tired eyes to meet Dumbledore’s concerned ones. The man continues once he’s got Jimin’s attention. “Surely, you must need something from me, or you wouldn’t appear so…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. He doesn’t need to. Jimin’s aware of the state he’s in -- the dark rings under his eyes, his ruffled clothes and hair, the way he’s holding his books like he needs to protect them with his life. He looks unhinged. He feels unhinged.
Realizing he has absolutely no idea how to approach the subject of a potential werewolf at Hogwarts with the school’s very headmaster, Jimin decides to start by moving toward the chair in front of Dumbledore’s desk.
Maybe I just need to sit down and take a deep breath. That should help--
He doesn’t even make it two steps before one of the many books he’s holding crashes to the floor between them, falling open to the page he’d stuck a pencil in to save his spot. The moon cycle for April of 1978 stares back up at him, and when he flicks his gaze up to peer at Dumbledore, he sees the headmaster’s expression has hardened with caution.
“Professor--”
“Have a seat, Mister Park.” Jimin’s heart lodges in his throat at Dumbledore’s tone, never having heard such a sharp edge to the kind man’s voice. He moves to the chair, setting the obnoxious amount of research haphazardly in his lap. His eyes will only go so far as the top of Dumbledore’s desk, unable to bring himself to meet the man’s eyes.
“Sir, I… need to ask you something.” When he isn’t granted a response, he swallows hard, pushing forward. “If there were to be a student at Hogwarts with a… peculiarity of sorts… how would you go about dealing with that?”
“How would I deal with what, Mister Park?”
“That student.”
“I’m not quite sure I know what you mean.” Jimin lifts his eyes then, confused, but he’s met with a deliberately ignorant smile.
“Sir?” Dumbledore’s smile, albeit strained, only widens.
“I think you may be suffering from a lack of sleep, Mister Park. There are no students at Hogwarts with any peculiarities, as you call it.” Jimin stares suspiciously up at him, knowing Dumbledore can tell that Jimin doesn’t for a second believe that claim. Breaking eye contact, he glances down at his lap, trying to figure out how to keep this conversation going. Trying to figure out why he’s even here.
Jimin looks down at himself and the pile of incriminating evidence, cursing his idiocy when he realizes just how bad this situation must look. A student out of bed way past curfew, barging into the headmaster’s office holding weeks of research and making outrageous claims about a potentially dangerous student. And he’s a Ravenclaw no less.
Shit. He probably thought I was some nosy little fucker trying to expose her and get her expelled.
Knowing that he’s risking a lot by being straightforward, he takes a single deep breath and meets Dumbledore’s eyes, his own filled with determination.
“Sir, I know about Y/n Y/l/n, and I know you do, too. I need to know how to take care of her. I need to know how to help her. I need you to tell me what to do because, to be honest with you, I’m freaking out.” The way Dumbledore’s examining him as he speaks tells Jimin that he’s right, but more importantly, it tells Jimin that Dumbledore hadn’t been expecting him to want to help.
“That is a very serious accusation you’re making, Mister Park, especially in this political climate. Very serious.” Jimin doesn’t waver when he responds.
“I know, sir. That’s why you’re the only one I’ve made it to. Because I need your help. Because I know you can help.” Dumbledore narrows his eyes, peering at Jimin over the tops of his half-moon spectacles.
“Have you considered the fact that just you knowing this information at all has placed Miss Y/l/n in more danger than she’s already in?” As soon as the words leave Dumbledore’s mouth, Jimin’s heart is stopping in his chest. All the times that Hoseok and Jungkook had told him to mind his business come rushing back, and he feels himself becoming sick to his stomach. Of course it’s more dangerous for her now that he knows -- he’d been too selfish to even think it through, too nosy for his own good. He had done all this to try to understand her, to try to be a better friend who can help when she needs it, but it’s all bullshit. Everything he thought he had done for her sake had actually been for his. For him and his stupid curiosity.
Lifting his head as a thought comes to mind, Jimin doesn’t even think twice before speaking.
“Can you erase my memories?” The headmaster’s eyebrows fly to his hairline, his expression becoming amused as Jimin continues rambling. “Can’t you obliviate me or something? Wouldn’t that be the best way for me to help her? Wait… but do you have to erase everything I know about her -- will I still know her? Can you make sure I still know her? I really like her! I don’t like Hoseok or Jungkook very much -- they kind of scare me -- but I like her! I don’t want to forget her, but also if me knowing that she’s a werewolf is only going to cause her more trouble, then I really think you should make me forget--” Dumbledore lifts his hand calmly, effectively silencing a frantic Jimin.
“Have you always had such a one-track mind, Mister Park?” Jimin smiles weakly, offering a half-joking response.
“It’s my only redeeming Ravenclaw quality…” Dumbledore chuckles before scratching at his forehead with a heavy sigh.
“Unfortunately -- and I do truly mean that -- I cannot erase a student’s memories. So, you and I will need to continue this difficult conversation.” Jimin considers the man’s words, knowing that it really would be better for everyone if he had his mind wiped clean and hating that he’d unknowingly put Y/n even more in harm’s way. He looks up when Dumbledore sighs again.
“Mister Park, you do understand that you are strictly forbidden from informing anyone else of this situation, yes?” When Jimin nods immediately, opening his mouth to assure the man that he wouldn’t say a word, Dumbledore only shakes his head. “No, Mister Park, I’m not sure you really understand. This situation is infinitely more complicated than you could ever imagine, so it is absolutely imperative that you keep this information to yourself.” Jimin blinks, unsure what’s meant by ‘infinitely more complicated’, but he nods again.
“I’ve put her in enough danger just by being here, Sir -- I’m not breathing a word of this to anyone.” Dumbledore examines him a moment longer, essentially staring into Jimin’s soul to gauge his trustworthiness. Eventually he nods, leaning back in his chair.
“What advice would you like me to give you, Mister Park?” Jimin stays silent, thinking hard about any way that he can make Y/n’s life easier, especially after all the trouble he’s caused up to now. His mind flashes back to the conversation he’d overheard in the library. He opens his mouth slowly, choosing his words with care.
“Sir… how does a student that isn’t even taking Potions know how to brew the wolfsbane potion? Isn’t it nearly impossible?” Jimin sees Dumbledore’s eyes flicker with recognition, and the headmaster responds cautiously.
“…If that student isn’t taking any kind of Potions course at all, they’d need to already be an expert from having dedicated all their studies to the art of potionmaking. They would also need an immense amount of private mentoring, even if they are taking Potions. We do not teach the wolfsbane potion in the curriculum. As I’m sure you can imagine, it wouldn’t fare well in these times…” Jimin squints, putting the pieces together quickly in his mind.
“And where would a student like that find this kind of… private mentoring?” The headmaster hums at Jimin’s question, peering down at him with knowing eyes.
“Well, Mister Park, if you wish to receive mentoring on much… safer forms of potionmaking, I’m sure Professor Slughorn would be happy to help you. However, if you are asking me about Mister Jung Hoseok of Slytherin House, and if you are wondering just how he became capable of caring for Miss Y/l/n at the young age of 13, well… you’re looking at his mentor.”
--
When Jimin leaves Dumbledore’s office almost an hour later, he feels like his head is going to explode. The nights of sleeplessness seem to also have come rushing back to him at once, and he’s not sure if he’s going to collapse first from the exhaustion or from the weight of everything he knows now. For a moment, he considers that maybe he really should ask someone to erase his memories -- Jungkook or Hoseok, perhaps.
Yeah, I’m sure they’d absolutely love to do me that favor.
Dragging his feet as he trudges down the corridor in the direction of Ravenclaw tower, Jimin stops short at a window when movement down by the Black Lake catches his eye. Almost as if thinking about them has caused them to materialize before him, Jimin watches the silhouette of Jung Hoseok stroll casually down by the shoreline, followed not long after by Jeon Jungkook racing toward him, a body perched precariously on his back. It’s not hard to see that Y/n’s clinging weakly to him as he runs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he keeps his hands hooked under her knees. Jimin can see that she’s got a gown on from the Hospital Wing, and it’s obvious that Jungkook and Hoseok have snuck her out from under Madam Pomfrey’s stern supervision.
They head for the Forbidden Forest, Y/n reaching back for Hoseok when Jungkook passes him. She beckons him forward, and Jimin watches as the three of them disappear together into the trees. He sighs deeply when he can no longer see them, muttering to himself under his breath as he makes his way to his room, overcome with extreme guilt at the entire situation.
“You’ve really gone and done it now, you fucking idiot.”
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geejaysmith · 5 years
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Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.
Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went
Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)
Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers
Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck
Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious
Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death
Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"
Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough
Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No
Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh
Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"
Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts
Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps
Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl
Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense
Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations
Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition
Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me
Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off
Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else
Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about
Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages
Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.
Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad
Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."
Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo
============
Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake
Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did
Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.
Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair
Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case
Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still
Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates
Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes
Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes
Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski
Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought
Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules
Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)
Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide
Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented
Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her
Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec
Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space
Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him
Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances
Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)
Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'
Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN
Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.
Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions
Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama
Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time
Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay
Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.
Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in
Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that
Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family
Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them
Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night
Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience
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lady-byleth · 7 years
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For anon, who wanted to know what the members of the Fellowship do for their birthdays. Hope this is okay! EDIT: Because people keep not reading the tags, I know Hobbits usually give gifts on their birthdays but I figured they deserve to get gifts after everything. If it still bothers you, please just consider it an AU. I'm tired.
The first year of true peace after their defeat over Sauron, Legolas Greenleaf learned something about mortals he had never realised, despite his long friendship with Aragorn.
Birthdays, he learned, were quite important. Much more so than they were for elves.
They were supposed to be grand, a celebration of another year on this earth and each member of the Fellowship had his own way of marking the occasion.
Gandalf, much like Legolas himself, did not celebrate at all. He was too old – ancient – in their understanding of time to truly know which day his birthday would fall on. In fact, he said one day, he did not know whether time truly applied to a being such as he was and thus could not tell if he was born in a day or if his birth spanned centuries. Instead, the wizard marked the passing of time since his arrival in Middle-earth with a pipe of Longbottom Leaf, or Old Toby if he had a mind, and a quiet day in a garden of his choosing.
Sometimes, Glorfindel would join him, uncharacteristically quiet and thoughtful, as he sat beside his old friend with a book that appeared older than Legolas himself. He had only stumbled upon them once, wrapped in quiet conversation, and hastily beaten his retreat. It had been such a strangely charged moment he felt as if he had been intruding.
When Gimli asked why he looked so confused, Legolas had said nothing but pulled the dwarven beard and run for his life instead.
Now Gimli, that was a whole other story. The dwarf loved celebrating his birthday, probably as much as a Hobbit did. He did however absolutely despise people planning his party for him. So when his first birthday after the war arrived in Gondor, he banned everyone from the Great Hall in Minas Tirith, ordered several highly confused servants to do exactly as he told and planned the entire evening himself.
And what an evening it had been, though Legolas doubted anyone in the Fellowship aside from himself and Gandalf truly remembered it. Ale had flown as freely as the Bruinen and half a dozen wild boars had been put on spits and roasted over roaring fires after soaking in beer for a day.
The combination of both had left Pippin snoring in a wastebasket while Merry danced a strange little jig around him, Aragorn crying in a corner because Arwen had told him she was already married, and Sam and Frodo had become quite fascinated with a tapestry on the wall, trying to figure out why the strange man had three legs.
Faramir had pestered Gandalf for lessons in several subjects even the wizard had no experience with and what exactly had happened to Éowyn and Éomer was anyone’s guess. They had disappeared suddenly and returned hours later, Éomer with a bloody nose and Éowyn slung over his shoulder like a sack of grain, a wooden sword in her hand.
In conclusion, Legolas deeply despised the fact that there was no way to capture the entire evening by magic to embarrass his friends with their drunken escapades.
Merry and Pippin, they celebrated together. Gandalf had taken up the task of planning for them, spending days in preparation for the greatest fireworks he ever created. Aragorn meanwhile had sent out his fastest riders to procure pipe-weed by the barrel and ale from the Green Dragon, instructed carpenters to deliver hobbit sized furniture to the castle and invited as many people as possible to attend a grand feast in the castle’s courtyard. It had been a celebration that did not end up quite as chaotic as Gimli’s but it was a pleasant evening indeed.
Merry and Pippin had entertained the crowd with songs and funny anecdotes, basking in the attention upon them, and then ripped into the presents the citizens had brought their little heroes. Though their favourite presents were, indeed, those of the Fellowship. That everyone, without fail, ended up giving them new pipes did not seem to bother them.
“One for every day of the week,” Merry had laughed, winking at the group.
“And sometimes two for the same day,” Pippin had added and stuck the fine ivory white one of elvish make and the heavy one from Rohan one into his mouth at the same time.
Gandalf had shaken his head fondly. “Hobbits.”
For Sam’s birthday, Frodo asked a favour of Lord Elrond, who agreed immediately without so much as hearing the request itself.
Sam was to celebrate his birthday in Rivendell and to be given a tour of the entire valley and its surrounding area. Glorfindel volunteered to lead the wide-eyed hobbit around into places he had never been as his friends trailed behind him, though Merry and Pippin quickly found the pantry and disappeared. 
Once Glorfindel had finished the official tour Aragorn and Legolas took their friends between them, gathered the troublemakers, and started the tour again. Only this time, they told stories of their youth under these trees.
Legolas could not remember ever seeing Sam laugh as much as he did when they recounted the time they squabbled over a wineskin and accidentally lobbed the uncorked thing at Erestor, destroying royal correspondence with Thranduil in the process. The evening concluded with a pleasant dinner under Elbereth’s stars and to the sound of Glorfindel’s fair voice telling them of the beauty of Gondolin.
What they did for Aragorn’s birthday was all Arwen’s idea. She had noticed her beloved’s growing restlessness inside the castle, stooped over paperwork and letters about subjects he could not care less about, and so she had instructed everyone in the castle to delegate everything to her for a few days. Her husband she had pushed at Legolas and Gimli, who had, in turn, pushed his Ranger garb on him and then dragged him outside where their hobbit friends and Gandalf waited astride their horses.
The following week saw them track across Middle-earth, visiting places they had seen on their quest but hadn’t been able to enjoy – a bubbling stream ending in a series of small waterfalls, a clearing filled with so many wildflowers it appeared carpeted with them, wide planes so green emeralds paled beside them – and Aragorn taught those who could not how to track the animals that crossed their paths. For Aragorn, discarding the mantle of King for a few days was the perfect gift, relaxing and exhilarating all at once.
It became a tradition in the years to come.
Frodo’s celebration was equally relaxing but much less planned. 
On the 22nd of September, every member of the Fellowship, no matter how far away they had been, arrived in dribs and drabs to gather at Bag End for a hearty dinner that emptied Frodo’s stores. 
Small gifts were given, pots of special ink or rolls of the finest parchment, small journals for his thoughts and a quill made of the feather of a great eagle the story behind which Gandalf refused to explain. At night, they sat underneath Bilbo’s great oak tree and read to each other from books found in the study ny the light of a full moon. Poetry and children’s stories, fairytales and funny short stories.
In the end, they had all ended up lying on their backs as Legolas pointed out constellations and told them the stories about each special star his mother had told him in his youth with Gandalf occasionally explaining the origins from a time before time.
Boromir…Boromir’s birthday was most akin to Frodo’s. But instead of the somewhat cramped inside of Bag End they gathered alongside Faramir in Osgiliath. In a ruin there, under the banner of Gondor that Boromir himself had raised so long ago, they built a roaring fire and passed Boromir’s favourite wine around, toasting him in quiet voices still tinged with pain at his passing.
Faramir told of his brother’s heroics against the Shadow and Merry and Pippin recounted how he had died to save them at Amon Hen, remembering his gruff kindness and easy humour. Despite Faramir’s presence neither Éowyn nor Éomer joined them, even though both Lady and newly crowned King were in Minas Tirith at the time.
As the moon reached its peak, Legolas spoke a quiet prayer for Boromir’s soul and they all tossed a sip of wine into the fire in hopes it would reach him wherever the souls of men went after death.
If anyone noticed the others cry, they did not mention it.
Birthdays were important, Legolas learned after the war.
Especially for mortals whose lives were so fleeting that every year counted.
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jonathanbelloblog · 6 years
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Watch Spotting During the 2018 Monterey Car Week
While Monterey Car Week is all about rarified four-wheeled wonders, it’s almost an equally impressive watch-spotting event. Some attendees have one watch they keep in the safe all year, only to break it out for the late-summer festivities. Next time you’re on the grass at the Pebble Beach Concours d’Elegance or at one of the many other events during Car Week, keep an eye on the wrists—you might see something with a price tag to rival some of the cars. This year, we snapped some of our favorites, mostly on the wrists of friends and familiar faces we found amongst the champagne-sipping crowds.
TAG Heuer Carrera Calibre 16 on My Wrist
The lovely folks at TAG Heuer lent me this fetching Carrera chrono for the week, giving me the chance to experience a modern Heuer for the first time. The Carrera Calibre 16 family isn’t new, first launched in this form back in 2005, but this heritage-inspired variant is. Unveiled earlier this year at Baselworld to celebrate the Carrera’s 55th anniversary, the watch features a dial inspired by both racing and common design elements found in the 1970s. To that end, the faux-aged lume and red/orange accents pop against the white subdials and chapter ring, contrasting well with a black ceramic bezel. —Conner Golden
TAG’s familiar Calibre 16 automatic movement returns 42 hours of power reserve and a date complication at three o’clock. The Calibre 16 is an evolution of the longstanding Valjoux 7750, so it should be reliable and low-maintenance.
If black isn’t your color, TAG also offers this watch in blue on steel bracelet as well. Prices start at $4,350 for the black on leather rally strap, and $4,500 for blue on steel bracelet.
1967 Eterna Super KonTiki
Unsurprisingly, interesting people often wear requisitely interesting watches. Case in point: Our friend Matthew Ivanhoe of The Cultivated Collector hit The Quail green wearing this excellent 1967 Eterna KonTiki, originally issued to the Israeli Defense Forces. More specifically, it was presented to the Shayetet 13, Israel’s elite special forces. Ivanhoe estimates only 150 were ever made, and less than half of those are thought to survive. —C.G.
Hurley Haywood’s Rolex Datejust
Haywood is proud to point out that while he presently wears it on a steel bracelet, the watch originally arrived as a gift from Rolex in the mid-’90s on a rubber strap. As he tells it, the then-president of Rolex rang him up after he spotted Haywood on the Le Mans podium wearing a cheap throwaway watch, having left all his good stuff at home for fear of theft. A short time later, this DateJust showed up at his house wearing a unique rubber strap, along with a few replacements. It spent so much time on the wrist, he wore through all the replacement straps. Unable to procure new ones, it’s now on the steel bracelet you see here. —C.G.
Stephan Winkelmann Apple Watch and 50th Anniversary Rolex Daytona
Automobile contributor and fellow watch dork Basem Wasef caught the Bugatti chief with a watch on both wrists. The Apple Watch isn’t noteworthy, but the 50th Anniversary Daytona on the opposing wrist is. To honor five decades of the legendary chrono, Rolex cut the case entirely from platinum, adding an ice-blue dial and dark brown Cerachrom ceramic bezel to round it out. —C.G.
Alain de Cadenet’s Omega Speedmaster
We don’t have the time (or the, ahem, space) to recount de Cadenet’s long, colorful career behind the wheel of some of the world’s greatest cars, but it’s safe to say his excellent Speedmaster was there for most of it. As he recounts in an interview with Revolution magazine, he purchased the watch—the same type made famous by NASA astronauts—in 1968 in Zurich during a trip to the Nurburgring, and he hasn’t worn much else since. —C.G.
Zenith of  Jim Heldmann, Polestar’s Vice President, Global Marketing and Brand Management
Zenith is such a sleeper brand, so it’s a good fit for Polestar, which is aiming for an understated, electrified vibe. The Zenith features an El Primero—first shown in 1969—heart that is regarded as one of the world’s best and most accurate watch movements.  Fun fact: For a long time, the El Primero was the movement inside the Rolex Daytona. —Jon Guzik
Clark Sopper’s Autodromo Group B Night Stage
Clark Sopper is a classy dude: first he was showing a Honda Kei-Truck at The Quail—you read that right, A HONDA KEI-TRUCK—so of course his tastes in watches are somewhat left of field with his Autodromo Group B watch. It’s a rare variant to boot—Autodromo only made 14 of these blacked-out watches, with only one offered for public sale. —J.G.
Joseph Cantore’s Heuer Autavia GMT
Joseph Cantore, who was showing a 1935 Mercedes-Benz 540K Cabriolet A at the Concours d’Elegance, is a collector of vintage timepieces. His super-rare Heuer Autavia 2446C GMT chronograph, powered by a Valjoux 7736 T hand-wound mechanical movement, had us in shock. —J.G.
Filip Brabec’s Orange Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore Diver Special Edition
Filip Brabec, VP of product management for Audi of America, looked for this watch for months on end, as the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshores in steel are becoming as rare as hen’s teeth. This ROO, a limited-edition boutique only model, is not for the understated, what with its Orange Dial and matching rubber strap. —J.G.
Jackie Stewart’s Rolex Datejust
Hurley Haywood wasn’t the only racing great sporting a Rolex DateJust at Pebble. This is Jackie Stewart’s Gold Rolex—stop and think about that for a second. We grabbed this shot as Stewart was walking through the crowds at The Quail; always a good sport, he let us snap a shot, then paused and said, “You need it against my pants, don’tcha?” Who were we to argue? —J.G.
The post Watch Spotting During the 2018 Monterey Car Week appeared first on Automobile Magazine.
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