A public apology to Never Let Me Go's Chopper:
Sir, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry that I mistook you for every other side character in a BL series who is jealous of the lead, manipulative to get what he wants, controlled by his father, and disingenuous to everyone. That's not you! You could NEVER! You're in a league with To Sir, With Love's Yang, and both of you will go into the BL Hall of Fame.
Just so you know how sincere I am about this apology, let me recount the ways I wrongly accused you of being an undercover red flag when you are actually the biggest green flag in these BL streets. Full disclosure - I misjudged you a lot.
You looked at Nueng at the conference and hesitated to follow your father when he left. 1a) You're always worried about your cousin and 1b) from the beginning have shown you don't align with your father's beliefs.
1a. When you found out Ben, who you knew couldn't reciprocate Nueng's feelings due to his homophobic father, was speaking to Nueng, you directly asked Ben what he wanted from your cousin.
Because you care about your cousin, and you want to actually spend time with him.
You let him know that even though your parents are beefing, you still love him.
You are genuinely happy to see him.
And when he asked you about Ben and why you are no longer friends (since the 10th grade *sob*), you warned him that Ben is distant, but encouraged both him and Ben to pursue their attraction AND asked follow-up questions on separate occasions because YOU CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE even if it kills you.
And that is why Nueng trusts only you unlike your father.
1b. You told your father from the beginning that you didn't want what he was offering nor did you cave to his expectations.
You also told him you weren't competing with your cousin because, once again, you actually love Nueng and don't resent him .
You looked away when your father wanted you to watch him punish someone.
You picked up the photo of Tanya and Nueng when your father threw it, and you directly asked him AND scolded him for ordering the hits.
I know you know how to use a gun, and I know you can aim very well. If you kill your father, I will light every candle and pray that you only know good sex for the rest of your life, that your bed is always the perfect temperature, and that your earrings never snag your clothing. Amen.
2. You have always been kind especially to Palm and Ben. You immediately went to Palm and made friends with him, speaking casually, and told him if he needed help, to ask you.
When you saw Palm at Nueng's house, you were happy to see him, and spoke to him. When you realized you offended him by telling him he didn't have to act like a servant in front of you, you quickly apologized.
You were also quick to apologize to Ben when you knew your words hurt him.
When you found out about the incident at school, you went to Ben and comforted him. You even grabbed his hands in public, looked him in the eyes, and told him he wasn't to blame (for being the victim of a public outing).
I truly thought YOU were behind this, but once again, you are the BEST BOY and put Kimlock Holmes to shame by solving the case. However, you stopped Ben from hurting Aun, and I think you even felt bad for Aun when you found out his reasoning for doing it.
You have shown that you don't condone violence but are willing to do what is necessary for the people you love (*whispers* please kill your dad) and will literally kick someone's ass.
4. You are aware you are gay.
I know this seems wild that I misjudged you for this mostly since this is a BL series, so everyone is queer until proven otherwise, but Chopper, you KNOW who you are. You aren't holding on to a secret. You aren't pining over Ben from a distance. No! You told him in the 10th GRADE that you liked him.
And when he rejected you, you kept your distance, but still encouraged him to find happiness with someone else because you want the people you love to be happy even if it was with each other.
You also complimented Palm on his body because, baby, YOU ARE A GAY MAN WITH EYES!
I can't apologize enough for not believing in you even when you showed me exactly who you were time and time again. You may be okay that Ben rejected you, but know that Ben now realizes the sun and the moon reside in your eyes.
The way he looked at you while you took the time to carefully go through your skincare routine when you said you weren't his type told everyone that this boy wants Nueng to come home safe, but he wants YOU to come to his home and make him feel safe.
Chopper, I love you. I don't even care that you are into cryptocurrency. Baby, your game is so fire, that you could tell me to shut up, and I do it. That's how much I love you.
If you pull a switcheroo in the final act, I'll forgive you. If you die in the final act, I will never speak of this show again. If you kill your father, I will never stop speaking about this show.
Stay kind. Stay sincere. Stay a confident gay.
And kill your father.
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✨ If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog ✨
i’m blanking so hard rn
currently riding my priest!ian brainrot so let me hit you with a holy random fact: i used to be the biggest god stan when i was little. like i was 7 and completely oblivious to what religion even was but my local church is literally across from my condo and when little me learned what an altar boy was i freaked the fuck out. every sunday i was up at 7 and i would force my parents to bring me to church early because it was a first come first serve kind of environment when it came to the colorful altar boy robes. and i really wanted the fancy one!!! also the first kid that arrived there got to do the sickest shit during mass, like opening the bible for the priest and prancing the jesus-flavored meringues right before the whole communion song and dance. one time i almost fought a poor child who had dared to arrive earlier than me right there on the nave lmao
my love for everything pistachio is honestly concerning
i have a Winx-themed tattoo that i got without my parents’ knowledge at 16. i don’t wanna talk about it at this present time
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No, because the most heartbreaking thing about any piece of Trigun media, is that Vash does not care if he dies.
He's been the punching bag, the target for so many years he doesn't know how NOT to be. He's been abused, and neglected, and shot, and unfairly hated for so long that he believes he deserves it.
"how do you keep smiling like this?"
"simple, really. I don't deserve to cry."
Do you understand how devastating that is? For someone like Vash, who'll cry at the slightest bit of kindness, thinks he doesn't deserve to mourn himself?
He'll cry for others, oh, anything for the people who've nailed him up as a sacrifice and, more than anything, someone to blame. He'll cry for his brother, who is in the endless cycle of acting and reacting and tearing open his own wounds and lashing out because he thinks it's the right thing to do.
He'll cry for a sinner destined to turn on him, his Judas who he'd devote himself so wholley to that it's only by that preachers hand that he hasn't died yet.
He'll cry for people who he barely knows, he even cried for LEGATO FUCKING BLUESUMMERS. The man who TORTURED HIM and gave him no choice. He'll cry and grieve for those shot and died and those who haven't died. He cries for his mother, who he hasn't stopped grieving over the 150 years he's lived.
But he never, not once thinks to cry for himself. He believes himself to be Atlas, or perhaps he would be compared to Yeshua or Prometheus. Whether it be carrying the sky, nailed to a cross, or strung across a boulder to have his guts pecked out for eternity, it's all for a people that are flawed and beautiful and cruel, for these humans who he loves so much he'll die for them.
In Vash, I see this.. passive suicidal ideation. He's not actively trying to get himself killed, no, he runs away from it as actively as possible and he hates pain, despite being able to withstand so much of it.
He isn't trying to get himself killed, but I don't think he likes living. Certainly not when life is gunwounds and starvation and endless, sandpaper thirst with no plausible end in sight. If he were to die, finally caught by something lucky enough to drain his life force, I don't think he'd fight it. Maybe he'd think, "I tried. Maybe Knives will stop now that he doesn't have a brother to fight for." And oh, he's so tired.
So extremely exhausted from fighting and kicking and screaming and grieving all his life.
He's only living, because of two things:
1.) Nothing has killed him yet.
2.) These people that have followed him expect him to live.
Maybe sometimes, he thinks, "would they miss me? Meryl, Millie, and Nicolas? Would Knives?" And he finds himself doubting every time. Doubting the place where a red coat and a sharp grin should be, if he were to disappear. He doubts he'll be remembered, even though he's made himself unforgettable.
He fights and he fights and he fights and nothing ever turns up for him, but he sees no point in giving up, and fights on anyways.
And he's always been kind.
That, is the tragedy and the beauty of Vash the Stampede.
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